#Well joke's on you we have OLD superhero movies!!

[oldtvandcomics]

Friendly reminder that there are A LOT of old movies and TV episodes just sitting there on YouTube, completely free. For books, check out Project Gutenberg. The Internet Archive has pretty much everything, books, movies, comics, radio shows, even old fanworks.

And that is WITHOUT starting to talk about stuff like libraries and the miles long to-watch and to-read lists and piles of books bought but not read that we all absolutely have. We’ll be just fine.

[el-warverine]

I need to say this somewhere

I think Ryan Reynolds is fucking right to be trying to get Oscar nominations. I know alot of people think DP3 is too goofy and not substantial enough of a film to earn one, and that the odds arent in his favor because Superhero flicks never get any love at the Oscars, but fuck off man the Oscars are a joke.

Ryan and Hugh are fantastic actors. They did a great job. But aside from just the literal performances, for me, they are the true embodiment of all the good shit an actor should be. To be passionate and dedicated to a role, to have fun and make a movie an experience. They delivered the heart of the movies through Deadpool and Wolverine.

The earnings dont lie. The film clearly enraptured a lot of people. It's one of the few movies that i know for a fact that MOST people saw more than once at the theatre.

The sheer effort and tenacity it took for Ryan to kickstart a Deadpool franchise and keep it going to this point, as well as the dedication it took for Hugh to get into shape like that at his age and deliver that performance is easily worth at the very least a nomination. Ryan and Hugh's careers have been so meaningful and examplary for what we love about the concept of an actor to anyone thats followed the Deadpool and Xmen movies.

Certifiably terrible movies have gotten nominations, films that were clearly basic run of the mill fodder. Next time you hear someone say something like "Well DP3 was good, but it's not Oscar good." Remember that these trash heaps got nominations:

Norbit (Best Makeup...yknow for like the fat suit i think idek be so fr rn)

The Blind Side (Best Picture, Best Actress(sandra bullock WON 💀)

Dr. Dolittle (Best Picture + 8 more. Movie was fine, but Fox went to BAT for this one for some reason it didnt deserve all that)

War Horse (Best Picture, Best Cinematography) (this one was like, fine too but...idk who fuckin cares)

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Best Sound Mixing) (entire movie sounded like glass in a blender wdym)

Escape from Tomorrow (WON 6 Oscars and was just about some schmuck being horny at Disneyland)

Im not even gonna mention the animated films, because MY GOD (ok i'll mention two, The Boss Baby and Sharktale)

The Oscars are decided by out of touch numbnut losers, but goddamnit are they one hell of a notch in your belt. If Ryan gets nominations and wins even one award, he might get more free reign, and that's what I want. I want that man as free and unhinged as possible for as long as possible because he is good at it goddamnit. Every comic book/superhero film fan should be rooting for Ryan to succeed so we can get more passion in these movies and less formulaic BS from execs.

Dont be fooled into putting more stock in the illusion of high standards these old farts want to give off than in the genuine dedication of a man and his passion projects.

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 19-- Healing

SE Saeran reflects on his healing journey on a visit to your favorite museum (788 words).

A year ago, Saeran would never have been able to do anything like this. It would surely have upset him too much to be confined on all sides in this kind of space— a museum would only have reminded him of his guilt, the marble floors too similar to Magenta’s and the old photographs on the walls too similar to V’s. But he’s made strides with his therapist since then, and he’s excited to be joining you for an afternoon alone together at your favorite place. 

“I love big buildings like this,” you admit, “Especially if the lighting is bad.”

“That’s a joke,” Saeran observes, not laughing. Sometimes, the strange things you say are funny to him. Other times, not so much. Either way, he won’t lie to you about how he feels.

“No, I really like places like this,” you assure him, fiddling with your wristband. “Is yours too tight? I haven’t been here in a while. Last time I went, they were doing ticket stubs, not wristbands. I didn't know they were gonna give us these, honestly, otherwise I would’ve—”

“It’s fine,” says Saeran, because it is. True, the pressure on his wrists isn’t something he’s experienced since he wore stacked leather bracelets as Unknown, but he’s easily able to separate this experience from that one. He’d be hard-pressed to convince himself that he’s back at Magenta when you’re here by his side, and it’s difficult to believe that he’s a monster when you’re so gleefully walking in step with him. 

“Okay.” You grab two maps, one for yourself and one for Saeran. It’s these simple gestures in consideration of his autonomy which make it clear to Saeran exactly how safe he is with you. It’s not just that you look out for him, it’s that you do it without thinking. “Where to first? My favorite is the Ancient Egyptian wing— there’s no live mummies there, unfortunately, but they have a couple masks, some statues, and one pretty cool coffin.”

“Maybe another time,” Saeran is okay hearing the word ‘coffin,’ but having never seen one in person, he’s not sure how he’d respond. “Sorry. And aren’t mummies dead? So there wouldn’t be live mummies.”

“For now,” you reply with mock solemnity.

Saeran can’t help but snort at that while he studies the map. “What’s this furniture collection?”

“Oh,” you nod, “Yeah, that’s with the Korean art. Basically, a bunch of antique cabinets and stuff. A lot of them are really interesting because they’re made with persimmon wood, so the grain naturally makes super cool patterns. If you like dark wood, you’ll love it.”

Saeran wrinkles his nose. “I don’t think about wood colors.”

“What?” you grin, “Saeyoung explicitly told me that he was giving you culture. He didn’t say anything about interior design?” You’re joking, of course. If Saeyoung had said anything about interior design, he probably would’ve launched into such lectures as How Much Checkerboard Print is Too Much Checkerboard Print? (Trick Question) and The Artful Placement of Chip Dust, Crumbs, and Decommissioned Traffic Lights.

Saeran smirks. “He made me watch those superhero movies.” 

“Oh,” you seem to consider this. “Did you like them?”

Saeran shrugs. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay, good. Correct opinion,” you nod solemnly, in yet another attempt to make Saeran laugh. “I’m just kidding. I don’t care what kinds of movies other people watch. Or what their interior design preferences are— although, last time I came over, your brother had clothes all over the floor, and he told me they were decorative, which I do take issue with.” When you try so hard, you can be a little bit awkward, but Saeran doesn’t mind. He enjoys your company.

“Hm,” Saeran confirms his understanding. “I got rid of those.” 

You snort, but elect not to take the subject any further. “Well, anyway, here’s my plan, and you can take it or leave it,” you pivot, “I say we come through here and look at the furniture and whatever else you want to see, then we loop through the rest of the museum like this.” You trace your finger across the map, showing a path through blocks of color, presumably representing different exhibits. “And then if we come back again, we could do the south wing, since we probably won’t have time to see that part today. Thoughts?"

“Okay,” says Saeran. He trusts you, after all. “Let’s go,” he decides, reaching for your hand. It’s a good day for him, and he’s feeling comfortable with that level of contact.

“Let’s go,” you agree, accepting his hand and leading him into the museum. Saeran can’t believe how easy and natural all of this feels. He really has come a long way since leaving Magenta.

[marvel-ousmondays]

Iron Man (2008)

As mentioned in last post, when I went to Iron Man I literally had no idea that such a superhero existed. (I thought Sherlock Holmes with RDJ came out first but apparently not so I had essentially no knowledge of the actor either.) My friends and I decided to spend the day out at the nearest town big enough to have a book store, craft stores, and a Target, as well as a Drive-In movie theater. I was now a college student and enjoying the freedom of no curfew, rebel that I was. I'm pretty sure the movie prior to Iron Man was the Narnia: Prince Caspian movie. I mention this because I hated that movie. It bastardized the book something awful and after the first movie was so faithful an adaptation, this was incredibly disappointing. However, this meant I was doubly primed to appreciate the awesomeness that Iron Man ended up being. I've watched it a few times since then, but usually as background to something else. I decided for this challenge I did REALLY want to watch the movies/shows. No other distractions- just it. I can take breaks (it took me 3 days to finish Iron Man due to various constraints last week) but when I'm watching, I'm JUST watching.

Here were my takeaways this time

The differences in Terrence Howard's Rhodey and Cheadle's Rhodey are always a bit mind boggling and part of what makes Iron Man feel really different from the later films. We're also just starting MCU so while they aren't LACKING budget, it's not the level it would be later. This doesn't hurt the movie at all for the record, if anything I think it meant the story had to be more well-developed and the actors better.

But this first film has a seriousness and a somberness that most of the other films only flirt with (notable exception being Infinity War of course).

The scene where Tony goes back to help Gulmira, Yinsen's home, and we see the 13 year old boy screaming and crying as his father is pried away from their family, the soldiers clearly planning to execute him and all the other grown men. The young boy tears himself away from his mother to his father, determined to keep him, to save him. His father, begging his son to go, so that he will live even though he knows- he KNOWS he will not. This moment of utter terror made personal just before Tony shows up is incredible and all the more so when put into historical context. The U.S. was still in Afghanistan and Iraq at this time and it was easy for citizens here to paint everyone in those areas with the same brush. But in this moment you CAN'T. You HAVE to see the family ripped apart right alongside the terrorists and be forced to realize that race, ethnicity, language don't make terrible people- actions do.

A common criticism of Marvel movies is they don't let a moment sit- that they always break a serious moment with a joke. But this one doesn't do that. There are multiple heavy moments- after Yinsen's death for one and when Pepper nearly quits (because she can't watch Tony self-sabotage and possibly die) and he tells her:

"I shouldn't be alive... unless it was for a reason. I'm not crazy, Pepper. I just finally know what I have to do. And I know in my heart that it's right."

This moment sits between them so clearly, so starkly and it is not ended with a joke, but with Pepper grabbing the flashdrive and asking what to do. (Thinking back, I'm wondering how many of those MCU "broken" moments are by Tony. He's the one uncomfortable with emotion. Him breaking those moments with humor is actually 100% in character. Something to pay attention to as I watch.)

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, some of the key themes of this movie just strike to the heart.

Death from a distance is easy to ignore or even be complicit in, but death up close rips us apart. Tony sold weapons that he knew took lives for years but it wasn't until he watched Yinsen die that I think he really understands what that means. Yes, his parents had died before but he wasn't THERE, he didn't SEE it. This death, this is the one that makes him really know what it means.

You don't have to change everything to be a better person. Tony is still self-centered. He still likes attention. He's still arrogant and as we will see next movie, open to playing the field as Pepper and him haven't committed. But not only has he stopped being complicit in the deaths of the innocent, he's taken on the mantle of protecting them.

Lastly, who the good guys are is largely a matter of perspective. This obviously gets hit harder again in Ultron (oh that glorious train wreck- I'm looking forward to writing about you), but it matters here. Tony was fine manufacturing weapons because he assumed he was supporting the "good guys", the 'Muricans. But not only was Obadiah dirty dealing, he is forced to learn the good guys aren't always as discriminatory with their weapon use as they purport to be. That it's easy to start painting with broad brushstrokes in areas where precision is actually called for.

Overall I'm really glad I PAID attention to this one this round. The grittiness and the depth really hit the way they did the first time or even more so. Onward to The Incredible Hulk, even though it's only semi-canon now.

Note for me:

Directed by: Jon Favreau

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 4 (MBJ x Black OC)

Warnings: mentions of grief and death… NSFW, public sex, name calling, BDSM themes

A/N: lol remember when I said this was gonna be two parts? Well I finished both so I said why not lol long chapter ahead but I hope you enjoy!

***

“It’s really insane when you think about it,” she laughed. “I mean God, these people are saying shit I wouldn’t dare breathe out loud… to a complete stranger. Do your DMs always look like this?” 

Michael nodded, causing Raven to shake her head in complete disbelief. “I don’t see most of ‘em but my team likes to share the wildest ones sometimes. The people are mad creative.”

“You don’t ever feel objectified by it?” Raven asked, her nails tapping quietly against her screen as she deleted DM after DM. 

“Sometimes but it’s par the course in my world. And they do it to all celebrities. It’s also not like me and my team don’t play into that shit. So it’s kinda hard to get mad. When you get branded as a sex symbol, people treat you like one. And generally, people don’t mean any harm by it. As long as people, you know, keep that shit on social, I don’t get bothered.”

“Fair. People need to like get offline and touch grass. The amount of women in my DMs insulting me for ‘stealing you?’ You’d think I wrecked their fantasy home. It’s kinda disturbing, not gonna lie.” 

Despite the rise in explicit DMs, Raven was pleasantly surprised at how little her life had changed since she became the public girlfriend of a mega movie star. She had never seen so many follow requests in her life and the cameras swarmed the library for the first few days. However, other than that and one or two articles detailing the sparse details of her life that were available, things were pretty much exactly the same. It also helped that there was a major celebrity scandal each week so their relationship had quickly become old news. But they were the new “it couple” on the block. The world bought their act hook, line, and sinker. A few more months of this and the debacle of their first date would be a funny passing joke on SNL or Late Night tv and nothing more. 

“I feel bad dragging you to this shit on your birthday,” Michael mumbled apologetically. 

Raven scoffed. “It’s a dinner party at Ryan Coogler’s with the cast of my favorite superhero movie of all time,” she exclaimed, a bit of her fan girl side slipping out. “Hardly a punishment. We got our photo so you can post something cute and sappy for the gram and I get to do something fun completely unrelated to my birthday. Win, win.” She assured him with a smile. 

Michael still did not understand her aversion to her birthday, it was one of the many things about her that were a big question mark. He thought she was just being modest when she told him so when Ryan invited the couple to dinner at his spot, he felt bad for even asking her to give up her special day for a work event. However, she said yes immediately, clearly thankful for a work obligation to fill up her evening. 

Her phone rang, interrupting Michael’s response. She rolled her eyes when she saw her sister’s name pop up. She had been dodging her and her dad’s calls left and right since she and Michael’s first date weeks ago. She knew her sister would find out from social media and would tell their dad, and she knew they both were just calling with their hands outstretched. She could tolerate them asking for her money and the money she did not have yet, she always found it and, even if she complained, she would give it. But she would not entertain requests for money that was not hers to give away, nor would she give Michael the impression she was a gold digger trying to bleed him dry. He was upholding his end of the bargain, she would not milk him for anymore than that. She let it go to voicemail, however, soon the car filled with the constant dings of her texts.

“You gotta take that?” 

“Umm… yea,” Michael could feel her entire mood sour at the idea. “It’s just my sister. She’ll never stop calling if I don’t. You mind? Sorry,” her tone was apologetic, knowing how frustrating it would be to listen to half a conversation in a car you can’t escape from. 

She held the phone to her ear and waited for her to pick up, making sure to turn the volume down as low as possible in hopes Michael would hear as little of whatever insanity her sister would spew. She knew she was not calling to merely offer happy birthday wishes, if she even acknowledged the day at all.

“Raven! I’ve been calling you for days. What the fuck?” Kiara’s voice filled her ears. 

“Hi Kiara. Sorry, I’ve been a little busy. How are you?” 

“I’m fine.” She responded shortly without asking Raven the same. “And yea, a little busy all over the fuckin’ ShadeRoom. You know how fuckin’ embarrassing it is to find out you’re dating MY celebrity crush on Insta?? You didn’t even like that nigga or his movies.” 

Not true, Raven wanted to yell into the phone. She and her sister were not close enough to know each other’s favorite movies or actors, hell even favorite colors, let alone gossip about their relationships together. So she was not sure why Kiara even expected to know about her relationship, even if it hadn’t been a complete farce. 

“You have me out here lookin’ stupid as shit to my friends.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize how it would impact you.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, which she could tell Michael picked up on as he choked back a laugh. However, she knew Kiara was too self absorbed to notice.

“When are you gonna bring him here for us to meet him? The girls want to meet him too.”  

“You and dad are always welcome to come to LA and meet him. O-Or just, you know, visit me?” she threw him an apologetic shrug that just made him laugh. She wished she could laugh at how quickly her family’s tune had changed about seeing her. She had invited them to LA countless times before everything fell apart but they couldn’t have cared less about her life and how she was doing. And when she tried to visit them, they made excuse after excuse about why it was not a “good time.” But now that she had a famous boyfriend, it was “when are you coming to visit?” As if the invitation had always been open. She had not seen her family in two years. “Don’t think either of us have time to come to y’all with his schedule. He’s going out of town soon for his new movie.”

“Maybe I can convince dad if you can get us tickets to the premiere of that movie…. What’s the name? I don’t remember. The girls would love that shit. Or… oh! He has to be invited to the new Black Panther premiere next month too. Maybe we can go to that? I don’t know what that shit’s about but it’s Black Panther so you know hella celebs will be there. He’s gotta be a brand ambassador for some fancy shit. Can you get us some Birkins or something?”

Raven clenched her eyes shut as her sister outlined her laundry list of impossible wants from her “boyfriend.” She knew she could never and would never ask Michael for a fraction of these things. And if she was going to ask him for something out of their contractual obligations, she doubted whether it would be to benefit Kiara of all people. She would do it on behalf of someone who would actually appreciate it.

“I’ll ask him. But maybe for now, you can settle for an autograph? Look, we are actually headed out on a date. Did you or dad need something?”

“Oh yea… I need money for a lawyer for that charge from a couple weeks ago. You know that fuck ass bar is suing us for damages? But that shit wasn’t even our fault.” 

Raven’s head lazily fell to the side as she half-listened to her sister complain for several minutes, drowning on with details from the fight  that made Raven think the bar was well within their rights to demand payment. But accountability was not Kiara’s strong suit. She offered lame “ohs” and “wows” to give the impression that she was truly paying attention. She was just waiting for the ask, there always was one and everything before it was pointless. She finally tuned back in when her sister demanded cash. 

“I gave dad the rest of my savings to bail you and your boyfriend out of jail. And I already sent money for the mortgage and dad’s car. I’m tapped out this month.” 

“Fuck you mean tapped out? You’re living like a fuckin’ big shot in LA with a millionaire for a boyfriend and you can’t slide me money for a lawyer? That’s fuckin’ foul, Raven.” 

Raven clenched her eyes shut. It had already been hard enough to keep up the appearances that she had a thriving career in LA. Adding a fake relationship to the house of lies she existed in did not help matters. Her family had no idea how much she was struggling now and while she knew she could tell them, she did not want to deal with their reactions, which she knew would likely be to blame her. She felt enough guilt and blame for her situation as it was. 

“I can’t just make money I don’t have materialize, Kiara.” She lowered her voice though she knew there was no way Michael was not listening. “You know just because I let you and dad treat me like an ATM, doesn’t mean I do that to other people. I don’t have the money right now but I can pay the bar in installments when I come into more in a couple weeks and just pay off the damages for you.” 

“No, we aren’t payin’ the fuckin’ bar cause we didn’t do shit. And wow… God. You’re so fuckin’ selfish, running off to LA and abandoning us here to make all that money with your fancy degrees and shit.” 

“Did I run off and abandon you or did you make it impossible to stay?” Raven asked, her exhaustion at constantly being the villain of her family’s story getting the better of her. 

“Poor Raven. Always the fuckin’ victim as if everything that’s wrong in this family isn’t your fault. And to pull that card today of all days when you know it’s the anniversary of mom’s death. If it weren’t for you…” Kiara started to say before Raven cut her off, tears welling up in her eyes as she already could hear her sister and father’s voice finishing that sentence. 

“I’ll figure it out and send the money, ok?” She called out, cutting her sister’s words off completely. “I’m getting an advance from my next book in a couple weeks. Find a couple lawyers, meet with them and get their rates and I’ll pay for it. No one crazy expensive, Ki.” 

She knew lying was wrong but she did not have any other option. She couldn’t tell her family where the money would be really coming from. Michael had a whole list of things for her for the next two weeks before he went on his press tour, which meant she would easily make enough to pay her sister’s legal fees and pass it off as an advance. 

“This is me and Jay’s lives, Raven. It’s not like you don’t have the money or access to itto pay for the best.” 

Raven focused her eyes on the ceiling of the car, a sorry attempt to stop tears of guilt and frustration from falling. She felt a tidal wave of shame hit her knowing Michael was seeing her like this. “Whatever you need. But once my advance money is gone, I’m tapped out for a while. Seriously, Kiara.” 

“Yea yea yea. I gotta go. I’ll call you in two weeks about the lawyer. Bye.”

Raven clenched her phone in her hand with a fist, her entire body turning away from Michael as a small frustrated sob escaped her that she couldn’t quite keep in. She tossed her phone down on the seat and wiped her eyes. 

She had hoped to make it through today, the annual reminder of the worst day of her life, without thinking too much about it. But there her sister was, picking at the threads of her composure, forcing her to unravel. 

The worst part of all of it was she could not even be mad at her sister or her father and how they treated her. She deserved it and she knew it. She had ruined their lives and this was her atonement. So she endured it, every slight, every barb, every wound because she - perhaps foolishly - hoped that if she kept reaching out her hand and kept giving, one day they would reach back and not expect something in it. They would forgive her and she would have a real family again. 

It did not matter how they spoke to her or treated her, she just repeated the same mantra over and over and over again.  

Keep reaching out your hand, she reminded herself as she took a few deep breaths. 

“You good? We can drive around for a bit longer if you need a minute.” 

“Yea, yea.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “Just stupid family shit. One day we’ll have a date without me crying o-or having a panic attack,” she let out a watery laugh as she forced a smile onto her lips. 

The smile was wide, and Michael knew, to a stranger, it would likely seem authentic and bright. It would certainly be enough to fool everyone at dinner tonight. But he could see its inauthenticity in her eyes, that’s where all of her emotions shown through. And her eyes? They were void of even the minuscule amounts of light and joy he typically saw and that were present moments before that phone rang. Now, she just looked torn down. And this version of her did not have enough energy to do more than put on that facade and pray no one looked too closely. But when it came to Raven, Michael always looked too closely… and he knew that was the problem. 

Michael slumped back in his seat for a few moments, the wheels turning in his mind as he studied her. He knew he could continue with their plan for the night, that she would play her part and play it well. However, he could not, in good faith, allow that. All their dates thus far had been about him. She deserved for the one day to celebrate her to be all about her. He pulled out his phone and went to Google. After a few minutes of searching, he closed that and opened his call log. 

“Hey Coog.” His voice filled the car, Raven glancing over to him as she continued trying to reign in her emotions so she could play her part.  “My bad, man but we ain’t gon’ make it tonight. Send my apologies to the rest of the team and your wife.”

Raven’s head whipped to the side as she listened to his words. She could hear the faint accent of Ryan Coogler asking if everything was ok. She immediately turned to him and threw an expression at Michael before mouthing, “What are you doing??” 

Michael merely winked at her before answering Ryan. “Yea yea. Just somethin’ came up I gotta take care of.” Michael chuckled. “Aight, ‘preciate you, brah. I’ll make it up to you. Talk to you later.” 

As soon as he hung up the phone, Raven immediately spoke up. “What was that? Why aren’t we going to dinner?” 

Michael ignored her and directed his next statement to Allen. “New plan, Allen. Just sent you the address.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

He continued to avoid her confused and wide eyes. He could not sit at a dinner party, regardless of how fun it was going to be to see the entire cast, knowing Raven was in pain. And even if he did not know or understand the extent of it, he could empathize and recognize she needed a night of someone caring for her, not the other way around. 

“Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see.” 

When Allen finally stopped, Michael helped Raven out and handed one of the cards out of his wallet to Allen, whispering something in his ear that Raven could not hear. With that, Allen sped off, leaving the two behind. Michael placed his hand on the small of Raven’s back and directed her down the block. 

“What about your dinner party?” 

“That nigga hosts a dinner party for everythin’. My role in the movie ain’t that big. Just settin’ up future shit so they won’t miss me. He’ll host another after the premiere next month and at the end of the award season if it gets nominated. Trust me, we ain’t missing shit.” 

“But you’re paying me to go to work events with you?” Raven hated that once again, he felt the need to cater to her and her emotions. “I don’t need to be coddled. O-or for you to rearrange shit to celebrate a day I don’t even want to celebrate. You’re paying me to do a job, let me do it.” 

“Yea and now I’m paying you to have a relaxin’ evening with me. This’ll be more fun anyway. We can still pretend it ain’t your birthday if you want.” 

“Relaxing… at a rage room?” She glanced up and gestured toward the sign outside of the building they were standing in front of. It was quiet, no one but a front desk attendant gawking at them. But she was not surprised it was quiet for a Wednesday night. 

“You tellin’ me you don’t have some rage you wanna exercise a bit, ma?”

She chewed on her lip, she had more than enough rage to get out, but she needed to fix that on her own time, not his. “I do… we all do, I’m sure but… then you shouldn’t pay me for the night. This isn’t work. You’re just doing this to make me feel better and I’m good. We really should go to that party. You can’t just blow off work obligations because your fake girlfriend’s having a bad day.”

Michael closed the distance between them and used his fingers to pry her lip out from between her teeth. He wanted to smile at how she rolled her eyes and pouted a bit, clearly resisting the urge to draw her lip back where it was.  

“You aren’t ‘good.’ I don’t know you that well but I do know that much. Just because this ain’t real doesn’t mean I want to watch you suffer on the one day of the year that’s supposed to be about you. A dinner party isn’t what you need. You need fun, seems like you get little of that shit anyway. So since I’m payin’ for your time, I’m tellin’ you not to worry about my shit. And I’m tellin’ you that your only job today is to have fun. And I don’t like having my money wasted, baby girl.” His voice dropped to his commanding tone, a tone that let her know he’d pull out the flogger again if she did waste his time. 

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Fine. But this really isn’t necessary.” 

“It’s my money. Let me decide what’s necessary and what’s not. Now come on.” He pulled her in the door, using his award winning smile to get them into the largest room that was clearly meant for more than two people. 

The attendant got them set up in their protective gear and closed the door behind them, locking them in the room for an hour. 

“So what do we do?” Raven muttered as she glanced around, quietly giggling at their absurd bee-keeper style gear. The room was filled with breakable items, bats and golf clubs and other makeshift weapons. There were holes in the walls and punching bags and dummies and stacks of plates. 

He picked up a vase and chucked it at the wall, the glass shattering against the wall. Then he picked up another one and handed it to her. 

His hand pressed into her chest, right above her heart. “Every negative thing you feel in here? Destroy everythin’ in this room til it doesn’t feel like you’re drownin’ in it.” 

She grabbed the vase from his hand and held it for a moment before she threw it as hard as she could at the same spot on the wall. Lacking his strength, it did not make it to the wall but she did enjoy the rush of adrenaline and satisfying crash it made as it shattered to the ground.  She did not even need further prompting as she picked up the discarded baseball bat near her and started using it to break everything she could see that was breakable. 

Michael spent most of the hour cheering her on as she released every bit of pent up frustration and anger and pain and shame she felt. She was so tightly wound all of the time, never letting any of it show so she could never let any of it go. But this was a cathartic release that she did not even know she needed. She knew she would feel it all again tomorrow but every crash, every piece of glass shattered, every dent she made into the walls of that room felt like a small bit of everything she kept in started to vanish piece by piece.

By the time the buzzer rang, signaling the end of their session, she was exhausted, her arms tired but she had never felt lighter. 

“That was…” she breathed heavily as they walked out toward Michael’s SUV. “Amazing. I didn’t know I needed that. Thank you.” 

“See? You gotta trust me more, baby girl. I know more than just what your body needs.” He winked at her as he closed the door behind him. “And now, we have one more stop.” 

They spent the entire drive recapping their favorite things to break in the rage room, which “weapons” caused the most damage. 

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Michael joked as Allen pulled off onto an overlook. 

“What do you mean??” 

“You were downright terrifyin’ with that damn bat. Can’t have you goin’ all Jazmine Sullivan or Carrie Underwood on my car.” 

“Whatchu know about Before He Cheats?” 

He let out a barking laugh. “Enough to know niggas go up for that song, me included.” He admitted. “But if you try to sell that to a gossip site, I’ll deny it.” 

“Wow, learning something new about you every day. And please, I��m sure there are more effective ways to hurt you if you pissed me off,” she teased. “You’d have a new car before I even finished taking a bat to the old one.”

“You might be right about that.”

“Where are we?” She asked as Michael helped her out of the car and she followed him around to the back of the SUV. He opened the trunk and laid out a picnic blanket and soft pillows that Allen had purchased while they were raging and jogged up to the front to grab the box of Prince St. Pizza that had made Raven’s stomach growl the entire ride and a bottle of white wine. 

“Overlook by the Hollywood sign. Perfect view of the city with my favorite white wine and favorite pizza.”

Raven smiled as he helped her climb into the back of the SUV, both of them leaning on the back as they looked out over the city. The silence was comforting, both of them eating their way through the giant pepperoni pizza and several glasses of wine. When they finished one bottle, Allen just produced another from the front seat and handed it back to them. 

“Thank you… for tonight,” Raven smiled as he poured her another glass of wine. “I… did really need this. And you didn’t have to.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seemed like you needed this more than I needed a dinner party.” He paused. “So your sister… did she even say happy birthday to you?” 

Raven let out a cold laugh as she took a long sip from her glass. “Nope. But I didn’t expect her to. Told you,” she whispered as her fingers played with the strings on the edge of their blanket. “Just another day. 

“So that’s why you don’t celebrate your birthday? Your mom?” At her startled expression, he shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t hear everythin’ but your sister was talkin’ loud as fuck toward the end. When’d she die?”

Raven sighed. “She died in labor. Had some condition, doctors told her no more kids… she got pregnant by accident. My dad wanted her to have an abortion, she refused. She gave birth and died a couple hours later.”  

“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, his hand rubbing her thigh. He had tuned out most of their conversation, not wanting to eavesdrop. But the moment he heard frustration and pain in Raven’s voice, he could no longer block it out. He heard every word her sister hurled at her and he hated that they treated her so callously. “And they blame you?” 

She wiped her tears for a moment before muttering. “I blame me.” 

“You were a baby, didn’t ask to be born. How is her choice your fault?” Michael reasoned, hating that she blamed herself for something so out of her control. But he also knew grief was not the most logical of emotions, particularly grief as deep seeded as this.

“My dad could barely look at me as a kid, wanted nothing to do with me beyond keeping me clothed and fed. The only person who didn’t blame me was my grandma, she basically raised me until she passed when I was in middle school. And I get it,” her voice broke slightly with her grief. “If it weren’t for me, my dad would still have his wife and my sister would have a mom. So yea… I was born and she died for that… not much worth celebrating in my book… or anyone’s really.” Her voice trailed off to a soft whisper before she shook her head and rolled her shoulders back as if she could shake out the negative emotions. “But you didn’t bring me to this gorgeous spot to trade childhood trauma. Thank you for helping me take my mind off all that for a bit.” He could tell by her tone that she did not want to discuss it anymore. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me,” she mumbled as she took another bite of pizza. 

He wrinkled his nose. “Am I not supposed to be?”

“No, no. I just… still waiting for you to be what I’d thought you’d be, I guess. What Tasha warned me you’d be.” 

“And what was that?” 

“An asshole,” she answered bluntly, Michael chuckling as he bowed his head. 

“I am… an asshole,” he admitted. “I’ll never deny that. Couple bad decisions after a bad break up and Hollywood bad boy became the image so I leaned into it. Self-centered, arrogant, cold… Aside from my family, that’s the version of me people see.” 

“But that’s not you.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “How you know? We just met a month ago.” 

She examined him with a soft smile before sitting up a bit straighter. “Because a self centered, arrogant asshole doesn’t do half the things you’ve done for me. You don’t treat me like a body or a business transaction. You treat me like… a friend? Even when you have no reason to. You may be a jerk but hell, plenty of niggas are jerks. You may even be a little selfish, not shocking when the world caters to you. But I think the real you is kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why you don’t want to show the world the side of you I see.” 

“Cause that nigga gets taken advantage of, gets heartbroken.” 

She nodded, she knew more than a thing or two about being taken advantage of. 

“Who was it then?” 

“Hm?” 

“The girl that broke your heart and created this version of you?” 

He let out a humorless chuckle and placed his hand on her knee. “One day, I’ll tell you.” He paused, glancing at her. “I treat you like a friend because I think we are… friends?”

He wanted to be so much more than friends. Every date, every moment with her he realized that more and more. However, if friends was as intimate as their relationship could ever truly be, he would settle for it. Anything, just to have her nearby. 

The small smile on her face turned brighter. “I think we’re friends too.” 

With the declaration of their friendship, both of them laid back against the pillows on their backs so they could stare out of the sunroof at the midnight sky. The sky was so perfectly clear, she could see endless stretches of stars. 

“What made you decide to be a writer?” Michael asked as they laid there. 

“I used to dream of being anywhere but where I was,” she admitted. “Still do most of the time. And when I was a kid, books, particularly fantasy books, were just the one place I could always escape to. Other worlds and lives so vivid so I could leave this one behind for a short while. And they always gave me hope that things could get better, maybe. I wouldn’t get saved by a dazzling prince or whatever. But they made me think things could turn around somehow. But when I was young, so few books had characters who looked like me or were written by women who looked like me.” 

“‘If there’s a book you wanna read, but it hasn’t been written, then you have to write it,’” he quoted the quote she had above her desk in her room. 

“Exactly.” 

“Why’d you stop after one book?” 

She clenched her eyes shut. “Didn’t have much of a choice. A… misunderstanding,” she muttered the word bitterly, “with my editor at my publishing house… and they dropped me, wasn’t able to find another. So I got the job at the library to tide me over till I figured shit out.  That was… about a year and a half ago? Haven’t been able to write much since.”

“A misunderstanding?” He repeated, glancing over at her, his question clear even though he did not explicitly ask it. However, when he felt her body shift uncomfortably next to him, he quickly backtracked. She had already rehashed so much that she did not need to tonight, there was no need to unearth anything else. She kept giving him more puzzle pieces but the picture remained a mystery. However, he could tell that it was one that held as much darkness as it did beauty. 

His hand grasped hers and squeezed. “You ain’t gotta tell me. Add it to the one day list?” 

Her eyes were still closed but he felt her squeeze back. “Thanks.” 

Silence fell over them as they laid there. Michael rarely just laid and did nothing like this. It was contemplative and nice, to simply exist beside her. He spent so much time being on, playing a part or an image. But he liked that he did not have to do that with Raven when they were alone. She let him be Bakari… the version of him that was only safe with his family and closest friends. 

“Tonight… I needed it too,” he offered, ending the silent reprieve. “So thank you for indulgin’ me.”

Raven turned and propped her head up on her hand, turning her body to face his profile. He looked different bathed in the moonlight. He was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. But he seemed more youthful to her, his features more relaxed than they typically were when they were on dates. His jaw was relaxed, his lips settled into a smile that was effortless… not his movie star smile, which she had seen enough times to recognize the nuances that signaled its inauthenticity. This one though, his real smile,… it made him heartbreakingly gorgeous.  

“Thank you for caring about me a-and for today. Haven’t had anyone do that in a long time,” she admitted before settling back on her pillows.

He knew she had that void in her life but hearing her admit it out loud broke his heart in places he was not expecting.

“What about right now?” 

“What about right now?” She asked, her tone filled with confusion. 

“Do you wish you were anywhere else but here right now?” He asked.

She tilted her head to glance at him, finding his eyes trained on her and not on the sky above. She let out a deep breath as she studied him. 

“No, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

He smiled. “Good.”  

They turned back toward the sunroof, content smiles on both of their faces. They did not talk much beyond that, both of them enjoying the silence and each other’s company. 

She did not even know how much time had passed when something finally broke that precious silence, the buzzing of Michael’s phone. Instinctively, she glanced over and caught a glimpse of his bright screen. Tasha’s name scrolled across, Michael sighing a bit as he sent the call to voicemail. 

Suddenly, Raven felt overwhelmed with discomfort. He was still seeing Tasha… why did that upset her so much? He had never promised not to, at least not to her. So she knew she had no reason to be mad. But she could stop the claws of jealousy from sinking their talons into her heart and soul. And when that subsided, all she felt was inadequacy. Another moment where she was not enough for someone. 

She cleared her throat. “It’s… um kinda late?” she glanced down at her watch before sitting up and sliding out of the back of the car. “L-Looks like you’ve got plans?” She tried to hide the bitterness in her voice but she knew she failed, knew Michael could see all of it.  

Michael shook his head. “Nah, it’s not wh-” 

Raven cut him off. “I have an early shift tomorrow… would hate to oversleep. Mind taking me home?” She did not know why she lied, her shift was not until noon. However, she knew it was an excuse he could not argue with. 

Raven started to walk around to the car door when she felt Michael’s grip around her arm, halting her movements. Michael hated that she saw that. Similar to her, but for entirely different reasons, he had been dodging Tasha’s calls like they were the plague. Usually he reached out to her to set up dates but when two weeks passed with radio silence from her best and most frequent customer, she started calling more often. He met up with her once, an act he regretted the morning after when he woke up. But she had promised discretion, if anyone knew how much of a farce he and Raven’s relationship was, it was Tasha. But he did not even enjoy it in the same way, he felt like he was just going through the motions. So when she reached back out earlier that week to set up another date, he ignored it. And ignored all the subsequent messages. He could not avoid her forever, but he knew he needed to put her on pause until Raven was out of his life and out of his system. While he was drugged up on her, no other fix was as worthy or quite as right. 

But he did not know how to explain that to Raven. He had not promised her exclusivity but it had most certainly been implied. He would not be pleased if he found out another man she had fucked was calling her.

“Tasha and I aren’t…” he started to say but Raven pressed her hand to his chest to stop him. 

“You don’t gotta lie to me. You’re allowed to sleep with other women, Michael. This isn’t real, we’re just friends at the end of the day. All good. I’m really tired though and need to get up early.” 

With that, she gently maneuvered her arm out of his grasp and slid into her seat in the car. She was thankful with every passing mile that took her closer to her apartment and out of his presence. She did not have a right to be upset but she could not change the fact that she was. She enjoyed being his only and she wasn’t, and she was wholly unprepared for how that would make her feel. But that’s what she got, for thinking his feelings for her extended past their business relationship. He was kind but she had signed up to be used and he was getting what he wanted. She had to accept that. 

“Thanks for the ride, Allen,” she said as she opened the door. She fixed her face and offered him a smile that was a bit forced but, despite the end to the night, still was partially genuine. “Thanks for tonight, seriously. I had fun.” His phone buzzed again, causing her to grimace. “And have fun with Tasha. Night, Michael.” She did not let him respond before she let the car door slam shut and she raced inside as fast her legs in her heels could carry her. 

Michael groaned, his head thudding back against the headrest as he looked at his phone screen. 

“I fucked that up, didn’t I?” 

“Wasn’t your shining moment with her, sir.” 

He clenched his hand into a fist before answering the phone. He never wanted to see that look on Raven’s face again and truthfully, he did not care to frequent Tasha anymore. He knew Raven and he had a shelf life that would expire but even when it did, he was not sure he could go back to fucking Tasha like Raven never existed. She had infiltrated every aspect of his being in the last two week and tonight had only made him fall deeper for her, made him want to give her everything she did not have. It was strange to feel this emotion again, to long for someone like he did her. Even if it could not be something long term, he wanted to savor it while he had her. 

But that was not something he was truly ready to admit to himself, let alone to Tasha. So he decided to take the easy road out and blame it on something else: the image and his manager. Tasha would have to respect that, right? And he would spin some lie about seeing her after Raven and he broke up, even though he was not sure if he had the desire for dispassionate, unattached sex in him anymore. 

“Hey Tash,” he muttered coldly into the phone. 

“Hey baby… wanted to see if you wanted to meet up tonight? I miss you,” her voice was sultry and inviting, a voice that, once upon a time, would have had him racing through LA to get to a hotel with her. But today, it did nothing. “And a little birdie told me you were headed to Paris in two weeks for press. Should I pack a bag?” 

Michael rolled his eyes. That was his own fault. He flew her out once last year to Cannes Film Festival and now she thought she was invited on every trip. There was only one person he wanted to take on this trip with him and after tonight, he was not even sure she’d say yes. 

“Yea… listen Tash. You know how I feel about you. But I can’t see you anymore… just for a few months.” 

“What?? Why?” 

He rolled his eyes, she knew why. “Well, you know… I got this relationship with Raven that is really important for my career and I can’t be seen with other women. We’re gonna have an amicable split in a few months and then I’m all yours again. But until then, we gotta keep our distance.” 

He could hear the frustration and bitterness in her voice, though she tried and failed to hide it. “You’re my best customer, Michael. You can’t just… drop me outta nowhere.” 

“It’s just temporary. Just a couple months. And I’ll send you some money to tide you over till you get a new client. Also means no Paris. Sorry, I just really gotta focus on cleaning up the image over the next few months. You understand, don’t you? You know you’ll always be my favorite girl.”

There was a long pause that made Michael check to ensure the call had not been disconnected. 

“Yea I understand. Just a few months though, right? Then you’re droppin’ the new girl?” 

Michael rolled his eyes before nodding, though she could not see him. “Of course, baby. Just a couple months and then she’s gone. Promise.” 

They shared a few pleasantries before Michael hung up and prayed she did not call him again for a while. His fingers itched to text or call Raven and explain. But something stopped him, the part of him that still adamantly rejected his feelings toward her roaring. He did not owe her an explanation, he did not owe her anything but the money he paid for her dates. She did not ask for an explanation either so why would he volunteer one? Those two parts of him battled until he threw his phone to the side in frustration. 

He sighed and took a deep breath as Allen pulled up in front of his family home in the hills, his oasis, Raven’s perfume still lingering in the car… that hint of lavender danced on his nose. He fell asleep with that phantom smell haunting him, Raven finding ways to pop up in every dream he had that night, leaving him no escape from her or his feelings for her. 

***

“Here you go.” Michael handed her an envelope filled with cash. “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.” 

Raven nodded and stored it in her overnight bag before grabbing her clutch. They were finally alone after being poked and prodded all afternoon by his stylist and glam teams to get ready for the premiere. They had ten minutes before the car would be there to take them. And then Michael would be jetting off at an ungodly hour to New York and then Paris for press. Raven was actually a bit sad to see him go. 

Though they never discussed the Tasha debacle from her birthday two weeks prior, she and Michael were slowly but surely getting closer and closer each day. They had had an event or something to go to almost every night, Raven was shocked at the amount of money she had been able to make in such a short window of time. Even helping her sister with her lawyer, she felt as if she could actually breathe easy for the first time in a while. And on the nights they were not together, they generally texted or talked on the phone at some point. They hadn’t had sex again, Raven finding any and all excuses to avoid that since he was still seeing Tasha. He never pushed or seemed angry, albeit a bit disappointed when every date ended with her asking Allen to take her home. It was petty she knew it but she did not care. She had no interest in competing with Tasha, she knew who would win every time. 

“Thanks.” 

“You sure you’re gonna be good while I’m gone?” 

Raven glanced at him and rolled her eyes as she threw her lipstick in her clutch. She did not quite understand how the small bag was even functional, it did not even fit her ID. But Michael’s stylist said it fit the look so she did not question it. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Jordan. I’ll be just fine without you for a few weeks.” 

Michael came up behind her and laughed. “You ain’t gotta pretend like you ain’t gon’ miss me, baby girl. I mean… you know, financially. I’m in New York for a week then Paris for a week. That’s a while without dates. I can slide you some extra if you need it.” 

Raven bristled at the idea, she did not want him to view her as a charity case. 

“No,” she responded shortly, immediately regretting the sharp edge in her tone as his face fell. “S-Sorry. No, thank you but I’m good.” 

“Even after your sister’s legal shit or whatever?” 

She let out a small huff. “Yea… she managed to pick the most expensive lawyer below the damn Mason Dixon line but I got it covered, I think. And with this,” she gestured toward her bag. “I’m good on the other stuff too. Seriously, you shouldn’t worry yourself about my finances. I always figure it out.”  

He grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away from him.

“It ain't charity or worry. Don’t want you stressin’ and shit while I’m gone. And I like to know my friends and everyone on my team are good. You’re both… why would I treat you any differently?” 

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. Or fix my problems.”

“You’re here fixin’ my problems. I can’t  return the favor?”

“Because… that’s not what we agreed to. This is a job, you pay me… we go out. That’s it. My family shit has no part in this and isn’t your concern. I’ll deal with them.” 

“Why do you?” At her raised eyebrow, he added, “Deal with that?” 

“You don’t give up on your family. You reach out your hand even when they swat it away. And one day, they’ll see all I’ve done for them and how much I love them and they’ll come around.” 

“Seems to me that you let them bleed you dry as if it’ll pay whatever debt you think you owe them. And they seem content with lettin’ you bleed out in the street.” 

She chuckled mirthlessly. “They’re all I got… so I don’t have much of a choice. It’ll pay off. All of it,” she forced more conviction in her voice. “One day.” 

“You really believe that?” 

She turned to look at him. He could tell there was genuine hope in her eyes, true belief that things would get better. A dreamer, indeed. 

“Yea… I have to.” 

“I dunno... There’s gotta be better out there for you… you certainly deserve better.” There was a not-so-small part of him, a part that grew with every moment he spent with her, that desperately wanted to be that more for her. 

“This world is filled with people who deserve better, Michael. But we’re stuck with the hand we’re dealt until better comes along. And I don’t see any better hands coming my way. Just a long game of this shitty hand,” she whispered the last part under her breath as she checked herself in the mirror once more. She grabbed her clutch and started toward the door. “You ready? Car should be here, right?” 

He hated how resigned she was to her fate and treatment. He had more than enough money to give his family and friends, more than enough for them to take advantage of if they chose and none of them did. Raven had none of that and still gave her last to people that clearly did not appreciate it. And to know, she had every intention of doing it under some misguided belief they would thank her for it later broke his heart. It reminded him of how pure and kind-hearted she was but he knew her efforts would likely be wasted. But he would have loved to be proven wrong. 

He did not know her family so he knew it was wrong to judge them but all he felt was red hot anger. Quite frankly, the only benefit he saw to the reality that this arrangement was fake was that he would not have to meet her family himself. He did not know if he could even sit in the same room with them. 

“Before we go… got somethin’ for you.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, “I don’t need a gift. It’s your special night.” 

“Yea but wanted to give you somethin’ to remember me by. It benefits both of us, don’t worry.” His face was a sly smirk that told her the gift was not a normal one. “But first, Tasha and I aren’t hookin’ up anymore.” 

“Michael… you don’t have to…” 

He shook his head and interrupted her. “Nope. You didn’t let me finish that night and you’ve been weird about it ever since. So now, I’m talkin’ and you’re gonna listen. It’s ok to be annoyed. We should be exclusive. I called her and put that shit on pause until our arrangement is done. We’ve only hooked up once since we started dating and it was early on. But either way, you don’t gotta worry about her callin’ or me seein’ her while I’m with you. I got my hands full with you anyway,” he winked at her. 

Raven tried to limit the smile that wanted to blossom at his words. She was happy to hear she was not “competing” with Tasha as she thought. It was a narrative her own insecurities and anxieties created and fueled, a narrative that now seemed foolish. She still did not know why it mattered so much to her. Or rather, she knew, but she would never admit it out loud. 

“So we’re good?” 

“Y-Yea we’re good. Wasn’t worried,” she lied, trying to make her voice sound aloof and unbothered. She did not know why she bothered, she supposed she did not want her pride to be anymore damaged than it already was. 

Michael merely pursed his lips and chuckled before nodding toward the bed. “So you ready to be my slut again or am I still on pause?” 

Raven smiled. “I’m all yours.” 

“Good. Lay down for me, panties to the side.” 

Raven laid back on the bed, hiking up her dress to her waist so she could part her legs. She pulled her thong to the side, Michael licking his lips as he took in the mess between her thighs. 

“Already so wet for me. You missed me too, huh? This is gonna be fun,” he muttered to himself as he pulled a gold vibrator out of his pocket before sitting on the bed beside her, careful not to ruffle his perfectly-tailored tuxedo. 

He wasted no time sliding the vibrator inside her, Raven moaning lightly at the intrusion, the way his finger brushed against her clit. She wanted more, desperately. Her hips rolled to find his touch, his hand, her body begging for more action. But he denied her. His other hand fiddled with something small that looked like a remote control. 

“Know what this is?” 

“No, sir.” 

“It’s the controller. Tonight, you’re gonna keep that in you and I’m gonna have a little fun with this.” 

Raven let out a shaky breath. “Y-You expect me to keep this in… while we’re at a movie premiere? No way.” 

He nodded, a mischievous grin in his eye. “I recall you wanting to explore some fantasies. You tellin’ me sex in public ain’t one you’ve had?” 

She bit her lip as she contemplated it. The idea was certainly an intriguing one… but the risks?? 

“When would you use that?” 

“Whenever I want. That’s the fun part… for me anyway. And you’re gonna spend the night making sure that sexy ass face when you cum isn’t plastered across TMZ tomorrow.” 

Raven shook her head. “I dunno, Michael. I’m all for risk but this seems insane.” 

He let out an exaggerated sigh, his voice playful and teasing. “I thought you’d be up for it, thought you wanted to have fun but I understand if you’re too scared.” 

She heard the challenge in his voice. He was testing her, trying to see if she was really up for anything. She could not deny that the idea was intriguing. Having her orgasms at his mercy in public? Per usual with him, she knew she could say no. But as she ran over the risks, all she could think of was the thrill of it. She wanted it. She hated that she wanted it and hated that he knew she wanted it. But she did. 

She sat up and swung her legs off the bed. She clenched her muscles to ensure the new addition to her ensemble stayed tucked where it needed to be and she shimmied the delicate fabric of her gown back down to its proper place. 

“Car’s waiting,” she offered with a smirk as she grabbed her purse and walked out of his bedroom, deciding then and there that she would win whatever game he was playing tonight, and would show him that she was indeed up for any and everything. 

Michael watched her ass sway as she exited and smiled. 

“Gonna have a lot of fun with this.” 

***

Raven was so overwhelmed by the screaming fans and reporters and flashing lights that she almost forgot about the “gift” nestled in her core. She kept her smile bright as she and Michael started down the red carpet, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist. 

He looked down at her like the perfect image of a doting boyfriend, with love and protection in his eyes. He played the role so well, Raven almost caught herself falling for the act. But she supposed that was a good thing because it made her glances back at him more genuine. She knew they looked like the picture perfect couple, every gossip site raved about them after every date. She knew tonight would be no different. 

She was so focused on keeping her smile intact and her eyes from blinking too much as they stood on the red carpet that she failed to notice Michael slip his hand into his pocket. Her smile faltered for just a second as she felt the device come alive, sending shock waves directly against her g-spot. It was a steady soft buzz, just enough to make her feel it, causing the heat to rise throughout her body. But it was not enough to overwhelm her.  

Once she got over the initial surprise of the vibration, she was able to recompose herself with ease. She played off the change in her expression by adjusting something on her dress and continued posing with him.

Minutes passed and the vibration continued at its low pace, Raven enjoying the small jolts of pleasure. This was what she was supposed to be worried about? This was a piece of cake.

She leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek before turning her head from the cameras and whispering in his ear, “This is easier than I thought it’d be.”

Michael let out a deep laugh as if she had told a funny joke and pecked her sweetly on the nose, continuing their slow march down the carpet. 

Raven genuinely felt like she could deal with that all night as she listened to Michael give an interview. She remained tucked at his side with a smile on her face. The interviewer did not really ask her any questions, thank God. So she just smiled and concentrated on keeping her thighs together. 

“So Raven, I have to say, you look gorgeous. Who are you wearing?” 

“Th-” her words were cut short as the vibration pattern changed, this time a long vibration that steady increased before pulsing against her g-spot and starting over again. She coughed awkwardly, pretending as if she had swallowed wrong before saying. “T-thanks. V-versace.” 

Her answer was clipped and short, afraid her words would betray her if she opened her mouth. This was far different, this was ecstasy. Each vibration felt like the slowest, most tantalizing march up a mountain before someone pushed her back toward the bottom to do it all over again. And that pulse at the top? It sent a shockwave through her that made her see stars. Each time, she felt her fingers grip the fabric of Michael’s tuxedo jacket harder. The longer it droned on, the more her legs started to shake. 

“You ok, baby?” he asked sweetly, kissing her on the cheek innocently. 

“Y-Yea, of course.” 

“You two are so cute. Thanks for chatting with me and I can’t wait to see the film.” 

Michael said his goodbyes to the interviewer before guiding Raven away. 

“What’s harder?” he whispered in her ear as they walked inside the venue. He stopped her in the corner of the giant atrium before they walked into the screening room and tucked her against a wall in a corner. Only official photographers were allowed at this point. To anyone passing by, they just looked like a couple having a sweet moment.

“W-what?” She found even such a simple word laborious to get out and it sounded more like a moan than a word. With him mostly covering her body from view, she could not stop the way her hips rolled as the setting changed again. The pattern was the same but the cycle was faster, the intensity overwhelming as he  increased it to the next setting. 

“What’s harder?” he leaned in and whispered in her ear so lowly she almost could not hear her. “Keepin’ that pretty smile on your face when all you wanna do is close your eyes and bite your lip while you cum? Hidin’ your moans so no one here knows you’re a loud filthy slut? Or stoppin’ yourself from beggin’ me to fuck you in the bathroom over there?” 

She felt as if her entire body was in a frenzy. It was not just the vibrator, it was his hands gently pressing her to the wall innocently, it was the courses of people walking by them having no clue that she was on the cusp of the greatest pleasure of her life, it was that she could not stop it or him if he decided he wanted her to cum right then and there in front of everyone. 

“A-all… of it,” she whispered, her face burying itself in the nook of his neck, which helped hide the pleasure swimming in her eyes but only increased it as she took in his scent. His signature cologne had become intoxicating to her. 

“You wanna cum for daddy, baby?” His words were a light whisper that they knew could not be heard over the conversations and music playing throughout the hallway. 

It was taking everything in her not to collapse in front of him, his arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her standing. Her legs were pure jello, every inch of her body was on fire, boiling with pleasure and humiliation at being brought to orgasm at the nicest event she’d ever been to in her life. All she wanted to do was cum but she did not trust herself to hide it. 

“P-Please…” she whispered. She did not know if that please was to stop or to keep going. 

Michael smirked as he felt her hips buck against his again. She was so close, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in the way her hips ground against nothing but air. It was subtle, not obvious to anyone else from the angle they stood at but he could feel it. 

“Beg.” He demanded. 

She clenched her eyes closed. All she wanted was to fall over this particular edge, right then and right now. She was so close, so close, it was almost agonizing to hold it in until he gave her permission. She glanced down as his finger hovered over the button to increase the setting again, knowing that she could not will him to hit that button. She would have to give him exactly what he wanted, what he always wanted. Submission. 

“P-Please… m-make me cum,” she muttered in his ear. “I-I need… it… p-please.” Tears stung in her eyes as she struggled to fight the urge to let go right then and there, hearing her own needy voice in the space. 

“Hm.” he offered quietly. “I don’t think you deserve it.” And with that, the vibration stopped completely. 

Raven could not stop the groan that escaped her lips as he stole her orgasm, her body screaming and protesting at her in pain at the sudden loss of pleasure. 

She let out a soft gasp as she glanced up at him. “You mother-” 

He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, completely silencing her. Raven’s entire body fell into his as they kissed, she could hear the soft snapping of a camera nearby on her right side. 

He offered her the sweetest smile before leaning to her left so the camera could not catch what he was saying.

“If you wanna cum at all tonight, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.” He straightened up and pressed his lips to her forehead, his arm still around her waist. His voice returned to a normal volume as he fixed her hair and ran his hand over the front of her dress. He looked like he was helping her adjust herself but he also wanted to make sure there was no evidence of their crimes. “It’s time for us to go to our seats. You ready?” 

Raven felt like she had whiplash from the last 5 minutes. He was good, far better than she gave him credit for at these games. She thought this was just going to be a fun experiment. But Michael never did anything small. And she was foolish to underestimate him. 24 hours ago, she would have never thought she would enjoy something like this. But now? She could play this game all night long, even though she was losing miserably. 

She peeled herself off the wall, her own hands running against the bodice of her dress. Her legs still felt a bit wobbly so she wrapped her arm in Michael’s to steady herself. She nodded and allowed him to lead her into the theater. 

She barely paid attention to the movie as she spent the entire two hours watching Michael like a hawk. Every time he shifted in his seat or moved one of his hands, she wondered if he was going to turn the vibrator back on. Halfway through the film, she realized it was not because she was dreading it. She wanted him to. She was internally willing him to turn the stupid thing back on, even if it was only at its lowest setting. Because even at the lowest setting, she knew she was sensitive enough to get where she wanted to be. She wanted to feel the tidal wave of pleasure, she wanted to drown in and bask in it and feel the adrenaline of doing so in public. Besides, the dark theater seemed like the perfect time if he truly wanted to push her completely over the edge. When she wasn’t praying to God that he would turn it on, she was wishing it was his fingers or his dick filling her and not a toy. 

She needed him so bad and truth be told, would have begged him to fuck her right then and there if they weren’t surrounded by hundreds of people. 

However, nothing happened. He paid her no attention throughout the entire film except for the hand that rested on her thigh. The minutes ticked on and on and on as the cast went up on stage to say a few words when the film ended. By the time they finally finished and were in the car to the afterparty, she was a horny, disgruntled mess. 

She kept her eyes trained on the window, even though it was tinted, when she felt Michael slide into the seat next to her. Two could play the ignoring game, she decided. 

His hand slid into the slit of her dress, pushing the expensive material to the side so he could have full access. When she did not part her legs for him immediately, he let out a disgruntled growl that was meant to be a command. She pretended she did not hear him and ignored it. 

He merely shook his head and laughed. “Aight, baby girl.” He pushed her knees apart with his hands, it took everything in her not to moan and keep her face stoic. 

His fingers immediately slid into her panties, the heat of her arousal hiting his skin before he even made contact with her body. He caressed soft circles into her clit. She gave him nothing, no moans, no humping into his hand. Nothing. So he upped the ante and turned the device on to the highest setting it had available. 

“Fuck!” She cried out, unable to keep it in as her body was assaulted with pleasure. The vibrator was more than enough to make her cum but adding his thumb against her clit was just simply unfair in her opinion. 

His free hand grasped her chin, firmly but loose enough that it was not painful and forced her eyes on him. Her breathing was heavy as she felt pleasure building fast in her core. Tears pricked her eyes, not from pain, but overwhelming, soul shattering pleasure, “You wanted me to make you cum in that theater, didn't you? In front of all those people like the filthy whore you are? Didn’t you? Upset that I ignored you? But guess what, baby girl?” he switched the setting to a lower one to keep her on the cusp of pleasure without sending her over. 

She let out a soft sob of agony as he held her there, suspended right at the cusp of her orgasm. This was more tortuous than him stopping cold turkey because she was so close she could taste it. And he kept it just out of reach. Every pulse, every caress of his finger was so much and overwhelming but still was not enough. And there was nothing she could do to force him to give her more. 

“Your body is mine, your pleasure is mine. And I decide when to fuck you, when you cum, when you suck my dick… I decide when you’ve been good… when you’ve been bad and what to do about it. It’s all mine. You can ignore me all you want but see how quickly you fell apart? You can’t win against me, baby girl. Daddy always wins. You understand?” 

She nodded rapidly, her body shaking lightly as she teetered on the edge, pleasure was consuming her every cell. She could barely think of anything but the raging inferno in her core.  “I-I understand. P-Please…” her voice broke. She felt as if she would quite literally perish if she did not come soon. He had never kept her on edge this long, a few seconds sure. But time was stretching into minutes. 

“You think you deserve it?” 

She didn’t deserve it, she knew the answer he wanted. “N-No, no… I’ve b-been bad, a bad girl. I d-deserve to be punished b-but I’m begging you… l-let me cum. I c-can’t… P-please,” her voice begged him for mercy. 

Deciding that she would pass out if he continued this game any farther, he pressed the button to return it to its highest setting. Her scream was nearly inaudible as she came on his fingers, her body shook as she gripped the door handle, shuddering through an intense orgasm. 

“That’s it, cum for me,” he whispered in her ear. “That’s a good girl…” 

“Thank you, t-thank you,” she babbled back to him as he talked her through her orgasm. He turned the vibrator off completely, finally giving her a break. 

“Allen, circle the block a few times.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

At the sound of Allen’s voice, Raven’s eyes flew open and shock and humiliation set in. She had just cum… with another person in the car. And she had completely forgotten he was there. Once Michael had started going, the presence of another human being in their vicinity had completely vanished. She glanced up, surprised to find the limo divider up. She didn't even know when that happened. However, she knew that that barrier was not sound proof. However, instead of being utterly turned off by that idea, it just turned her on more. 

“You like knowing Allen heard you?” Michael whispered in her ear. 

“No,” she shot back as she fixed her dress and used the compact mirror she had stored in the limo before the premiere to fix her makeup. Thankfully she still looked pristine, despite feeling physically depleted. She did not know how she and Michael went round after round when one orgasm made her want to cuddle up under the covers and fall asleep. 

“I keep tellin’ you how much I hate lies. But you never listen. Might think because we have a long night and I got an early mornin’ that you’ll escape punishment. But you won’t. Means I have a couple weeks to think of the perfect punishment for such… insubordination.” 

“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she offered with a sweet smile and a wink that made him laugh. 

He did not get a chance to retort when Allen pulled up at the venue of the after party. He gave Raven a once over before getting out of the limo and grasping her hand. He longed to bury himself inside her but he knew he did not have time, at least not enough time to satisfy the urges he had. And while he would toy with public sex, this was not the venue or event to be caught fucking in the bathroom, as much as he wanted to. 

No, he supposed he would just deal with cold showers for two weeks until he could fuck her again, and spank her until she begged for mercy. Her pleas had done something to him, sweet music to his ears. The perfect orchestra. And he would use every free moment of the next few weeks to think of ways to get that sound again. 

***

Michael rubbed his eyes as he scrolled through his email. He knew he would sleep well on the plane. He hated the first thing in the morning flights but he knew they were the only way to keep up with his crazy press schedule. 

“We’ve arrived, Mr. Jordan,” Allen called from the front seat, Michael immediately hopping out. Allen grabbed his sea of bags as he waved at his castmates who were also just arriving to the tarmac. 

“Thanks, man. See you when I get back. Make sure Rae gets home ok today, aight? Then enjoy your time off.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Allen responded as he handed off his bags to the baggage attendants who would ensure they made it onto the plane. 

Michael started to walk away and head to the flight when he heard his name behind him. 

“Mr. Jordan!” Allen called after him, causing Michael to turn around. The older man jogged up to him. “A word of advice? If I am not overstepping my bounds?” 

Michael nodded, allowing the man to continue. Allen rarely spoke, he was the type who liked to do his job quietly and fade into the background.  And he preferred to keep it professional with Michael though there were a few topics they could shoot the shit over while in the car like basketball and the like. But Michael knew that meant Allen likely knew more about him than anyone else on this planet, which meant he would have been a fool not to hear him out. 

“Avoiding love and companionship, even when it is right there waiting for you to take it, will never bring you happiness. And some would say such an ill-guided venture was foolish and selfish, particularly when the world is filled with people like Ms. Turner who love and seek out love with their whole souls and it's denied to them at every turn. And you may be a bit selfish, Mr. Jordan,” Allen admitted. “But I never pegged you as foolish.” 

“What’re you sayin’?” 

“I’m saying that it does not matter how this whole thing between the two of you started. It only matters how you end it. And whether you are brave enough to admit to her and yourself that perhaps you don’t want it to end at all.” Allen patted him on the arm before taking a step back. “There’s no reward for loneliness, Mr. Jordan… no Oscar to win for denying yourself more when you know you want it. The only prize those actions will give you is a lifetime of regret. And I believe you’re living a life too bright to have it dimmed by regrets.” he paused. “I hope I have not overstepped too much. But… well, there was a time a decade or two ago when I would’ve liked someone to overstep and tell me that.” 

Michael stared at him for a few moments before he nodded. After his last very public and embarrassing breakup, he vowed never to fall in love again. Years of women warming his bed before he kicked them out before sunrise. He got what he wanted and gave nothing of himself… to any of them. But Raven… from the moment he watched her staring out that window, he gave without even realizing how much he had given. And now, he felt things for her that he had not felt for a woman in so long. Hell, he wondered if he had ever felt this strongly for another person in his entire life. He wanted more… not a contract or a business dealing. He wanted her. Was he being utterly foolish by pretending that was not the case? 

 “You did… overstep.” His tone was a bit cold but he was unsurprised at how Allen did not backtrack or shrink. He said his piece, called him out and was willing to accept whatever the consequences of that were. “But maybe I need more people to do that. Will you do me a couple favors when you go back to the penthouse to pick up Raven?” 

“Anything, sir.” 

***

Raven groaned as she turned over in Michael’s soft bed. She had fallen asleep in his master bedroom alone, as she always did when they slept here. He always took the guest room. She wondered if she should be more sad that they slept separately but she agreed that that was not intimacy either one of them truly needed. She groped around the bed for her phone, groaning when she realized it was already 11 a.m. Thankfully, she had another two hours before her shift but she knew she needed to hurry up so she could get home and change into her real clothes, not the fancy designer ones she kept there. 

She pulled herself out of bed and stretched, part of her sad that Michael opted to go to sleep instead of fucking her. She understood he had an early day but she could not deny that all she wanted was for him to bend her into a pretzel after that orgasm in the car. But last night was, for the most part, strictly work. They did not get home and go to bed until 3 am and he had to get up shortly thereafter to catch his flight. And now she was left with nothing but a vibrator and fantasies of him to occupy her until he returned. But he had succeeded in giving her something to remember him by. She walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, rubbing her eyes as she dragged her feet across the hardwood floors.

Michael gave her free reign of his penthouse, even when he was not there. She did not spend the night there often but she had started to learn her way around, figure out where the sparse things he kept there were. A few dishes, a couple glasses, a fridge filled with coconut water and little food. When she slept there, so did he. But she had never really stopped to wonder where he spent the rest of his time. She guessed he had some giant mansion in the hills like every other star. But she wondered if that one was just as cold as this one, just as void of comfort and love, just as sterile. 

She guessed it was not. Otherwise, he would have her come there. No, that one was the sanctuary for the real him, she imagined it was warm and overflowing with his favorite things. Japanese anime artifacts and art and memorabilia and his awards and family photos and all the things that meant something to him. And this one was merely for his image, sterile and artificial. 

She blinked a couple of times, shocked to find a neat and perfectly packaged gift bag waiting on the counter with a long envelope sitting up against it. 

She sucked her teeth and chuckled, “This nigga. I thought I said no gifts,” she muttered to herself as she grabbed a glass of water and sat at the barstool. Part of her contemplated not opening it. What had he even given her a gift for? Her birthday was weeks ago. But her desire to know what he got her won out. 

She went to the envelope first, her name written in handwriting far too nice to be Michael’s on the front. She flipped it over and smiled as the person had written on the back: Open me last :) 

“On the other side of the damn country and still giving commands.” 

And you’re still following them, she imagined his voice shooting back at her as she placed the thick envelope to the side and reached into the bag. She made quick work of discarding the multi-colored gift bag paper to reveal two books. She pulled the first one out. 

“Whoa,” she muttered as she took in a first edition copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She turned it over in her hands, mouth agape as she studied it. It was beautiful and she knew it cost a pretty penny.  

Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out a book she knew all too well. Her own. An odd gift, she thought, though she supposed it was sweet that he went looking for it in the first place. She wondered how he found it as she published under a pseudonym but she imagined a man with his resources could find out almost anything he wanted with time. 

She flipped it open as she sat back down on her bed, a smaller envelope the size of a card falling out of it. He had stuck it in on the acknowledgements page, which read: From one dreamer to another. 

She opened Michael’s card and took in his handwriting. 

Thank you for sharing what you did with me on your birthday. I know the day isn’t easy. And apologies that this gift was so late - but I figured this was a loophole in the no gifts rule if you got it weeks later? And it took some time to track down your book. You didn’t make it easy. I’m looking forward to reading it on my flight. I generally agree with everything you say but I would disagree with one thing you said that night. The first time we met, you said Maya Angelou’s book saved you and gave you hope. I’m sure somewhere in this world, a young girl is reading your book and it’s doing the same for her. That’s something good that came out of October 15: the world got you. And that’s worth celebrating in my opinion. 

I hope, one day, you see that too.

Happy Birthday

Michael 

Raven let the tears that streamed down her face fall, one of them splashing against the glossy cover of her book. She wiped it away before rereading his card over and over again. She hated how he seemed to see her, really see her, and everything she truly needed. There he was again, caring more than anyone else, more than he should have, even when she was mad at him.  It just made her want him for every reason she shouldn’t. She should want to fuck him… she should want his money… That was all she signed up to get. A few months of cash and to let him dick her down better than she ever had been before. All her problems and loneliness solved, at least temporarily.

Instead, her heart and soul were slipping deep into dangerous territory, he was dangerous territory. She still tried to force herself to resist it, her body hanging by a rope that was fraying at the middle as if an invisible force was taking an ax to it. And she did not know if she wanted to scramble back onto the ledge or let herself fall.

After a few minutes, she picked up the other envelope and slid the folded up pieces of paper out of it. The first one made her gasp… a flight confirmation for a first class ticket to Paris dated for one week from today. The second page was a short list of the things she should pack.  And the third was her hotel confirmation, a suite at a hotel she could not even pronounce but one quick google search let her know it was one of the nicest and most expensive hotels the city had to offer. 

The last page only contained two sentences in Michael’s handwriting. 

I hope you have a passport. See you in one week.

Raven spread the pages out on the counter, her face paralyzed in shock. 

“What the actual fuck?” She examined all of them, rereading as if the information on them would vanish or change right before her eyes. But the flight confirmation had her name on it, the hotel room… her name. It was all there in black and white. He was inviting her to Paris. 

“I should say no…” she spoke to herself, a false ring of conviction in her voice. “I can’t accept this.” Her internal debate raged as she paced up and down by the kitchen island, her eyes studying the papers with each pass. 

You know you want to, the devil on her shoulder reasoned. And fuck, did she want to. It’s fun… when’s the last time we took a trip or did anything fun? 

She had never wanted to accept anything as badly as she wanted to accept this. She chewed on her lip so hard she was surprised she did not draw blood as she debated and debated. Until her phone buzzed with a text from Mr. Surprises himself.

Michael: damn you sleep late as hell. 

Michael: Am I gonna see you in Paris in a week?

Raven: This was a huge gamble… What if I didn’t have a passport? 🤔

Michael: It was a huge gamble but not because of the passport. Consider it PTO… Come live a little. 

Michael: So did my gamble pay off or nah? 

She read through the papers one more time, deciding then and there that she was 100% going to Paris. Even her pride could not allow her to deny herself this experience. However, she decided to make him sweat a little, though she doubted he actually would. 

Raven: I guess you’ll find out in seven days. Thanks for the gift.  

Raven locked her phone before chuckling to herself. She grabbed her phone and the itinerary page and let out an excited squeal and did a happy dance before she raced off to her closet. She had a trip to pack for. 

Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333@roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc

***

A/N: Wellllllllll… a lot happened! A little angst, a little fluff, a little smut lol just gave y'all the full spectrum of things. And it wouldn't be one of my fics if I didn't give you a character or two to despise along the way lol

Next chapter, we go to Paris, which not gonna lie… that wasn't in the OG outline of this haha but inspiration struck and now I'm very excited lol Drop a comment and let me know all your thoughts lol Thanks for reading!

[enixamyram]

Just Saw Deadpool and Wolverine!

It wasn't as bad as I feared it was going to be. In fact, it was really quite good! Not perfect, unfortunately, but still really good.

Spoilers bellow:

Let's just get the bad things out of the way:

Why. Do. They. Keep. Splitting. Up. Couples. In. Between. Movies. Just. To. Get. Them. Back. Together. All. Over. Again?! Genuinely, they have Vanessa and Wade split up off screen before this film, they're still good friends so she still hangs around, he still has feelings for her and at the end of the film it's implied they're getting back together again. And it is so pointless! It would make no difference to the plot if they had stayed together throughout the film. It actually would have made certain moments stand out a bit more. It's just a completely unnecessary random trope that I am so sick of!

Channing Tatum as Gambit sucked... But he was kind of meant to... So I dislike Channing as an actor, I love Gambit as a character, so I was always going to have a bias about this. But genuinely I cringed at every moment of him on screen, but I think I was supposed to? I don't know if it really was intentional or not, but it seemed to me that the film was definitely playing up making fun of him. So while it was awful, it wasn't soul crushingly awful.

The NicePool dying joke went on for too long. I think every Deadpool film has that one joke that I laugh at. But then it keeps going and eventually my laugh gets a little awkward and it's still going so my laugh kind of dies. Not that big a deal, just something that really hit with this one.

OTHERWISE!

It was a really good film! It was funny in all the right moments. Ryan Reynolds continues to be supreme as Deadpool. Hugh Jackman is still the best Logan of all time. And I think the Deadpool films in general just mastered the act of upping the stakes in a way a lot of other trilogies fall down at. What I mean is, Deadpool 1 - the enemy was personal to Wade. Still a threat to others but the focus was on Wade's grudge. Deadpool 2 - the time travel aspect made it a little more intense than last time but it was still fairly personal and contained to Wade. Deadpool 3 - world ending drama that made this time really stand out against the others. It felt properly like the films before this were prepaing Deadpool to be the man he needed to save not just this universe but every universe.

Highlights:

X23!!! I was so damn excited when she came on screen! I love her, I love her comics, I love her movie, I'm just sad we probably won't get to see more of her but the stuff we did see was still amazing!

The Cameos I hated the Spiderman's film cameos because they felt cheap and pandering, but the ones in this film felt like they were done right! So it was a lot of fun seeing familiar faces popping in and reliving old stories or throwing out old lines (legit laughed hard at Blade's ice skating uphill throwback XD).

The Songlist Every song sequence, even the ones purposely out of place somehow worked so perfectly. It was hilarious in the right moments but even more than that, it was beautiful in all the right moments as well (I'm talking about you, Like A Prayer XD)!

Cassandra Nova A fantastic villain who I loved seeing on the big screen for the first time! She was delightfully psychotic and powerful and just perfect for the role as the ultimate big bad.

I think this is a good sendoff the Deadpool and the X-Men as a whole. I don't know if that's the plan, I don't know if Deadpool or any mutants are supposed to come back but I probably wouldn't rush out to see them to be honest. This feels like the right way to say goodbye. (At least until the MCU stops overdoing it and let's others remake superhero films on their own again. Not everything has to connect to the MCU for pete's sake.)

[shelbgrey]

Next to me(Emmett Cullen)

Chapter one: oh the tragedies.

Table of contents

~2000

On the small screen of the small video camera showed two small children and their smiley dad running around with superhero capes and light-sabers. The children's squeaky laughter made the screen shake as the mother controlling the camera laughed. The camera moved to the left and showed a man that had similarities to the father. He was a bit scruffy and slowly growing a mustache. He smiled brightly as he held his only daughter who was a bit younger than her.

The small children are Owen and y/n Swan. They smiled for their family and it always felt like home when they stayed with their uncle Charlie Swan. One of Charlie’s best friends was the other father. Despite the divorces and children in Phoenix it was always happy…

Keyword: was…

--------( 2008, present day)--------

The little boy is now older. The 14 year old with curly hair and leather walked around the familiar house with the same camera from long ago. The house that used to be somewhere existing to visit now became too familiar and permanent. The boy Owen walked around and the only vision he had of what he saw was through the tiny video camera. He walked around like the Swan home was something to document or something important. In all honesty the home was important but it sadly became a strong reminder of what’s lost.

“And…we’re rolling,” Owen whispered as he pointed the camera at the cracked mirror. His reflection showed as he showed a slight smirk like he was proud of what he had become. It wasn’t something grand but you should be proud of him for being him. In the reflection you see his chocolate brown eyes shielded by his steampunk goggles he always wears around his neck; a silver Jason Voorhees mask necklace is also always there too. His torso was clothed by a faded forest green crewneck and a black and white flannel that had few rips and noticeable stitches. It was his fathers flannel.

Owen mumbled some commentary for his video as he shuffled down the creaking hallway as he would occasionally point the camera left or right to show a few family photos.

“Moring” Owen said using his best George Weasley impression as he pointed the camera in his sister's room. His sister, now 18, sighed as she looked up from her sketchbook and pulled off her headphones(Probably listening to Elvis Presley). She sighed at him but still held a smile for her little brother.

“What are you doing Owen?” she asked. Owen didn’t answer right away and turned the camera around so both siblings were in the shot. “We're here in the rainy town of Forks and today we are lucky enough to talk to one of the local residents, anything to declare?”

She looked up and smiled. “I hate you,” she joked. Owen smiled and held his thumb up. “Love ya too sis”

Owen paused the recording and looked up at y/n as she slipped an old Elvis ‘68 comeback hoodie she stole from her grandfather long ago. She dreaded the day as she looked out the window, it was pouring down rain and it looked like it wasn’t gonna stop anytime soon.

“You okay?” Owen asked as he studied all the posters and art that was plastered all along her new room. There were a few horror movie posters here and there along with a few Harry Potter and Elvis Presley art.

Owen had taken the move particularly well, a little too well. That's what everyone else sees, but on the inside he felt like he was being swallowed from the inside out. He wanted to move on and live and make sure y/n did the same. That's what their mom and dad would have wanted.

“I'm fine, you want some breakfast?” she asked, walking past her brother. She stopped in the entryway and softly smiled. “You can record it if you want”

Owen’s heart slightly shook at how much that sounded like mom. That would be a running thing she would often tell y/n as she would always carry around that same camera. She wanted to be a filmmaker and special effect artist. Her mother was her biggest supporter and as the support faded away Owen picked up the camera and tried to give her the support she lost.

y/n guilt silently consumed her and if you looked at her you would never know. She jogged down the stairs and went into the kitchen as Owen recorded. As the siblings made it into the kitchen Owen set the camera on the counter that pointed at the oven. “This is cooking with the swan’s part…I dont know”

y/n pulled out some eggs, bacon, and some frozen hash browns. The two continued to cook while also keeping their voices down as their uncle Charlie was probably still asleep.

“Oh good you guys are up” Charlie said suddenly as he entered the kitchen in his work uniform. “Hay, uncle charles, you hungry” Owen smiled as he gave him a plate of food.

“Thanks kid” he mumbled as he poured himself some coffee. He leaned against the counter and sighed as he looked between the two siblings.

“After work I'm gonna get Bella from the airport” the siblings both nodded. The silence broke again as he shared looks with the both of them. “I want you guys to start school with her”

Owen and y/n shared concerned looks. It's been about two months and Charlie has been extremely understanding but staying at the house for hours on in and having to mentally prepare themselves to get in the car wasn’t healthy for anyone. They both knew it. Charlie wanted them to get on with their lives and be normal teens. But normal isn't going through the loss they did..but being a shapeshifter wasn’t normal either, at least to outsiders it wasn’t.

“I want to say I'm proud of you both…you’ve been handling the changes quite well and i think it would be good for the both of you to start school fresh with bella” charlie said.

“Okay…but don't get all mushy on us now uncle Charlie” Owen jokes. y/n giggled and charlie’s mouth broke into a smile.

“You guys know what I mean.. And thank for all your help getting things ready for her to come, i really appreciated it”

“Sure” y/n smiled.

“Of course,” Owen added.

Charlie nodded and pulled them both into a hug. “I know its hard, I miss them too”

“And promise me that both of you will try” Charlie added, both of the siblings nodded with solemn expressions. Charlie then said his good-byes to the both of them and headed to work.

As the door latched shut Owen clapped his hands together. “So…whatcha want to do today? Go to the res? Watch movies? Commit a felony?” y/n laughed at the last suggestion as she walked into the living room.

“Harry Potter marathon?” she suggested. Owen sighed kinda disappointed about being cooped up yet another day but he didn’t plan on leaving his sister today.

[fandomtherapy44]

Solider Boy x reader

Summary: The year just turning into 1982 Vaught's Payback being the most talked Superhero group especially Vaught's Golden boy. The elusive handsome player Solider boy. Y/n has always wanted to help people with her powers so when Payback starts interviewing, she has to go. Her whole life is about get shaken up not just by how she thought superheroes were supposed to be but by an arrogant self-absorbed but handsome asshole.

Paring: Solider boy x reader/Enemies to lovers

word count: 1,338

Chapters: 1/?

WARININGS: oh, shit here we go again. Major language, Cancer patient, being mean to Y/n.

I got the divder from

saradika

AN/ Hey everyone so I've been thinking to make this for a while now. Since I love the Boys so much did, I start watching this show for Jensen maybe did I stay for the others yes. I think Payback is so interesting, so this is like a prequel series. I just love the backstory of Payback I hope we get more in this new season. This first chapter we don't meet Ben, but we will soon ;) Hope you enjoy.

Chapter one: Taking the leap

POV (Y/N)

The year being 1982 I was freshly twenty-eight working at fucking Vought burger I mean I was making money not much but still I just thought I would be somewhere else at this age. I was mopping the floors at one am with the smell of cell killing chemicals and the four-hour crust of kid puke up my nose. The old tv in the corner of the ceiling was a plus though because Vaught central channel would replay old Payback movies. Superheroes were my everything when I was a kid especially when I learned I had the very powers that my hero’s had. But my mom never wanted me to use them. 

“Hey Y/n how’s your mom doing?” My friend slash coworker asked me. “Oh well she has a treatment this week but after that I don’t know how I’m going to cover the cost next time.” “I can maybe scrape some money together.” I put my mop down and turned to her. “No no I couldn't ask you to do that you have your own shit to worry about.” “Ok but if there is anything else I can do I will be there.” I smile at her kindness. “I'm counting on it.” Just two more damn hours and I could go home and sleep for three hours and then go to my next job.

“Hey, did you hear about those auditions downtown?” “What auditions?” I asked, not really paying attention trying to get the puke stain out of the tiled floor. “Really you haven't heard that’s surprising of how much you love superheroes, it's the payback auditions.” I nearly slipped on the puke. “What! Are you serious!?” I ran over to her shaking her. “Yes Y/n yes! Now can you stop shaking me? I think my brain is starting to leak.” “Ha yes sorry it’s just that it has literally been my dream since I've learned I have powers.” “So, are you going to go?” That was the question.

The weather today was cold, and it was raining well more like pouring and my broken umbrella was barely holding together. I walked in and said hello to the nurse. Before I walked in the room, I put on the fake smile that I put on every time. “Hey mom.” I went to her bed. “Sweetpea, I didn’t know you were coming today.” She said in a very southern draw one of the many things I loved about her. “I wanted to surprise, especially today.” I looked to the tube in her arm for her treatment.

“So, how’s college?” Right college. “Well, my professor says that he was most impressed by my last paper.” This was all bullshit but if I told her what I was really doing all day she would discharge herself and go home and let God do the work to heal her. Well sadly I couldn't leave it up to God not where she was with her stage. “Now that's my daughter on her way to be on the top and get her dream job.” Dream job now that was a joke.

“Yeah...” I looked at the time and my other job was calling. “Well mom I have to run to class. Do you need anything before I go.” She grabs my hand and stares in my eyes. “I just want to look at my little girl for a minute.” In that minute my heart was racing. “Now sweetie go kick but!” My mother would never curse. She said that if she did that she might as well drink dirt then sweet lemonade. 

On my way to work my umbrella fully went down. Luckily there was an awning, and I ran under it. I looked out and it seemed the whole world was working against me. My mother, my job, my lack of a love life but that was the last thing on my mind. The weather was like my life exploding all at once. I just didn’t know what to do. But I think the world heard me and a gust of wind threw up a flyer in my face but not just any flyer.

“Hi there, can you please step forward and state your name,age,height,weight,Sup name.” I don’t think I have ever sweat so much in my life. “Uh Y/n L/n,28,’-,___’ and I don’t know ha.” I looked down nervously. “You're auditioning for a superhero team and you don’t have a name?” The woman looked at me in disbelief. “I-” She holds up her hand to stop me. “You know what I don’t have time to hold your fucking hand like in kindergarten just show us your powers.”

I took that in stride and stood back. I breathed in deeply and used my whole body to push forward and a force came out that crumbled all the practice dummies. I also grabbed the air around me and made a blade. Then I made a shield from that same air. I looked back and everyone looked shocked. The woman from before stacked her papers. “Um thank you we will call you.” I bowed and said thank you.

It had been about a month, and I had heard nothing, so I had lost hope. I was once again cleaning a kid's mess. Parents really need to watch their kids. “Y/n phone call!” My coworker called out and I threw down my rag and dusted off my pants and went to the phone. “Hello” “Hello this Vaught.” My eyes widened and I held my hand over the phone to not hear my escaped squeals. “What are you calling about?” I tried to keep my excitement in.

“Well, the people who are behind payback were very impressed with your audition and would like to invite you to be the newest member of payback.” I did not think twice. “YES!” “I mean yes I would love to.” “Great you will be flown out on the first of next month.” Oh, shit I didn't know it would be that quick. She sensed my quiet. “Will that be a problem?” “No of course not thank you.” She hung up. “Who was that?” My coworker asked. “That was the call telling me that I'm going to be the newest member of Payback.” I said realizing that my whole life changed in five minutes.

It was only the tenth, but I had so much shit to do I had to quit my jobs, stop renting and tell my mom which to be honest I was putting that off. “Hey mom.” “Sweetpea if you keep on surprising me, I'm going to have to start getting pretty for you.” “Mom, you are beautiful everyday no matter what.” “Aww you're just saying that.” “Speaking about our visits, they will have to slow down.” She looked disappointed. “Well, I understand for school.” Here I go. “Mom I'm just going to say it…  you're looking at the newest member of Payback.” “Tell me you're joking.” “No mom I’m not.”

“Y/n you can’t it's too dangerous.” “Mom, I swear to you I will train every day be the safest possible.” “No, I won’t allow it.” “Well sorry I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions. And frankly my fast-food jobs are not cutting it for the bills.” “Fast food? What about college?” “I couldn't do both make money and do school.” “So, you've been lying this whole time.” “I’m sorry mom but it was between me, and you and I chose you.” She had hot tears welling up. “But with this job I can pay for everything and more.” “You'll call me every day?” I threw myself in her arms like I was a little girl again. “Everyday.”

I get on the plane, and I sit down. My whole life was about to change. I was going to go from nobody to where I have permission to punch strangers. But I was ready for whatever or whoever will be there. 

[ottoslab]

You know: Re: “there’s an in-story reason there are no fat characters in xyz media,” I feel like there’s a lack of understanding about the root idea behind why there should be fat characters regardless of the “in universe” explanations.

Im going to keep this conversation in line with Into the Spiderverse/Hero media, because I’ll be honest: I don’t disagree with the idea that there’s never a reason for there to be less body type diversity in a cast. I think the reasons are fewer and far between than people claim, but I don’t think they’re not there. Maybe it’s important for worldbuilding, maybe there’s another reason. Just getting it out of the way so I can say that I’m not talking about these specific instances where fat characters wouldn’t work in the narrative for whatever reasons.

I’m talking about: Spider-Man cant be fat. He’s too busy running around and swinging on webs to be out of shape. There’s no way there could be a fat avenger, they’re way too active. Etc etc.

Ok. Cool. I don’t care.

When it comes to body diversity in media, my first thought is not usually the in-universe reasons for the body diversity, for fat characters being fat. My mind is always going to the intention behind the writing first and foremost.

The Spider-Man series, and a lot of superhero stories, are stories about empowerment. Spider-Man itself is a character built around the idea that “anyone can wear the mask.” The spiderverse movies are built around that idea.

Spider-Man, in universe, is a character who fights crime, who has the weight of the world on his shoulders, who does super cool stunt moves and is usually like 16 years old and fighting off super monsters.

But, like. That’s the in universe stuff. The subtext, the reasoning for the plot, the character evolution, is so much more than that, isn’t it? It’s a story about empowerment, about encouraging the viewer, you, whoever you are absorbing this media, to take great risks and to evolve. Spiderverse isn’t asking you to put on a mask and swing around and fight a woman with octopus tentacles. Spiderverse is using a very specific in-universe challenge to ask you how you’d operate with great power, and the price to use it responsibly. Etcetera etcetera. Generally speaking.

And anyone can be viewing that story. Even a fat person. Who wouldn’t “realistically” be able to be a spider-man. Fat people still face adversity, still identify with having goals and taking risks. Like anyone else. That’s the point of the “anyone can wear the mask” thing. Why couldn’t there be a fat Spider-Man, for audiences to relate to just as much as they would a skinnier Spider-Man, but with the added “hey, that’s like me,” factor for some people who don’t usually get that?

And then comes the other stuff. The fact that, while a lot of media may not have positive representation of fat characters, they still have fat characters. They still exist. And where are they?

Well, usually being the butt of the joke, probably.

We can’t have a fat spider-man, but we can have a Peter B. Parker, down on his luck, pitying himself for the decisions he won’t make, at a low-point in his life. And how do we portray this? Oh, yeah, we’ll have him be fat. And we won’t stop pointing it out. We won’t stop mentioning it in a way that would have a laugh-track playing after every mention if we could. Because being fat is bad, because being a fat spider-man means you’ve done something wrong. And once you’re doing better? You’ll be less fat, probably. Because it means you’re probably doing something with yourself.

I don’t mean to say that there’s absolutely no reason a person could gain weight when they’re at a low point in their life, or that losing weight can’t be a sign of someone’s progress in their life. But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the writing, I’m talking about the framing of this. Peter B. Parker is the only fat Spider-Man in Into The Spiderverse, (I know there are plus sized background characters in across the spiderverse, but theyre few and far between and do not take away from the treatment of Peter B in the first movie) and they’re going to make sure you remember that, and they’re going to hope you laugh at him for it. Peter B Parker isn’t a real person, but a real person, real people, had to write his character and how people treated him.

TLDR: If you’re making a story, I don’t give a shit if there’s “no reason” for a character to be fat in universe. Let them be fat anyways. There’s probably “no reason” for half of the things they are or aren’t, but we still give characters those traits anyways. And I guarantee, in the stories where there “shouldn’t be” fat characters, there will be anyways. They just will be there to be laughed at, to point at as a sign of “greed,” to be the antithesis of what the protagonist should be. Because from a writing standpoint, apparently, where anyone can wear the mask or whatever, being fat is still wrong.

[lazyrezi]

Tj klune books ranked by me based on pure vibes, re-read potential, angst to humor ratio and MY OBJECTIVELY CORRECT OPINION:

Tales of Verania - LISTEN! LISTEN!!! These books are insane and I don't even know if I mean it in a good way tbh. The characters are all on crack. It's both corny (HAH if you know you know) and raunchy. YES the humour is a bit out there and sometimes the sex scenes/jokes are almost too much for my virgin eyes. Are these books "good"? You're asking the wrong question! They're fun and you WILL have fun reading them!!! It's very self-aware, tongue in cheek also sometimes a little too cheesy for my liking.

Oh, also, there are lesbian and emo dragons and magic and monologuing villains and a prophecy because OF COURSE THERE IS. These books will not change your life, but they will make you laugh and maybe cringe and feel. I am thinking about rereading it for the vibes. 10/10 would recommend BUT ONLY if you can get silly with it!!! No doom and gloom!!! (Okay, maybe a little doom and gloom....)

Green creek - ANGST. WEREWOLVES. GAY POSSESIVE WEREWOLVES. FOUND FAMILY

(weird age gap relationships I'm so sorry I hate it too and I hate how easy it would have been to just not do that but oh well)

MORE ANGST.

It's been a minute since I have read these books but oh boy they had me in a chokehold for MONTHS. Full disclaimer I have not read the last book AND STILL I am fully confident in recommending these books.

Ngl there is more weird shit in these books than I care to list. IT DOESN'T MATTER. If the tales of verania characters are on crack then these ones are living in a straight up soap opera. People leave. They hold grudges. THEY HAVE AMNESIA? They have enemies as well. Buildings blow up, people die ohymgod the melodrama never ends and. That is. SO FUN. albeit a different kind of fun but still. Fun times all around. I have finished reading these books and immediately reread them which should tell you everything you need to know. 10000/10

The extraordinaries - imagine you're watching a movie where a scene is coming up that just gives you THE WORST second hand embarrassment - now imagine it isn't a scene in a movie, it's three books and it's every page of all three books. Just sheer unadulterated second hand embarrassment.

Now if you look inside yourself you might find that your feelings are misplaced. The main guy isn't embarrassed and neither should you be! Life is all about falling on your ass and making an idiot out of yourself in the process and it's okay! It's okay. At least that's what I kept telling myself while reading these books.

No, but in all seriousness. These books are good fun. The greatest thing about tj klune is that he will take ANY theme and make it gay. We have gay superheroes. Gay werewolves. Gay magical beings. Gay ghosts! I as someone who regularly wonders why the media I am consuming isn't more gay, am a fan. I want him to do it all. Gay cowboys! Gay astronauts! GIMME IT.

These books I will not reread because I fear I might just die from the second hand embarrassment. It's so bad. But! It's also good! Educational fun. Wholesome love. Some minimal melodrama. 7/10

Oookay. Time for the stand alone books!

The house in the cerulean sea - okay don't hate me but this ain't my favourite. It's everyone else's tho! So I'm sure there is something to it. I think this is what you think of first when you hear tj klune - everyone knows this one, everyone loves it. It's like the popular kid in school. I, as a stubborn contrarian cannot abide this.

Still there is a lot going for this one. It takes you on a journey in a way a book should. And I personally love old gays being in big gay love so I can't complain.

But I will nonetheless.

So the thing about this book is that it's very innocent. And there isn't much angst just a minor misunderstanding that is pretty much quickly resolved. The big confrontation at the end is also quickly squashed by *checks notes* people talking to each other? I mean. It's nice! I would like it to work like that irl. In stories however.... I like a little more angst and anguish personally. There are also a lot of kid characters in this one which is FINE tj klune is actually pretty good at writing kids realistically (even special magical kids) but it's just not for me. I say that but I will be buying the sequel next month so jokes on me. The whole book was just a little too on the nose for my liking but it's still a very cosy read. Also someone pointed this out but WHY is this book so British? None of his other books are set in Britain and this one is set in a magical world so what's up with that?

Despite all my complaints I have reread this book twice. I don't know either. 8/10

In the lives of puppets - first tj klune book I have ever read and seeing as I have since then read everything written by this man I think you know this one is a good one. IT'S SO GOOD. It has everything!! Robots. Found family (families always find each other in tj klune stories). Asexual main guy. ROAD TRIP. Wholesome fun and existential crises for the price of one! 9/10 docked a point only because I don't think I'll be rereading it again. Also the romance was a bit weird BUT! It did grow on me. Like mould.

Under the whispering door - you would think this one would be an easy 10/10. Doomed love story (also gay 'cause of course it's gay), lessons about redeeming yourself, coffee shop and ghosts and and. Honestly it's been a minute since I've read this one. But what I remember is the ending.

Call me pessimistic but I don't think love should bring you back from the dead SORRY. IMMA SAY IT. Main guy should have stayed dead! Think like "the love was there, it didn't save anyone but it was there" vibes. Expect! Here it did save someone! Ridiculous concept! I buy ghost dogs but I WILL draw the line at being brought back from the dead. (The dog isn't brought back in case you're wondering). And it's such a shame because I really like the themes about death and redeeming yourself and it has such good potential! Unfortunately it suffers a serious case of not-working-for-me. Listen can I explain to you why this book didn't hit the same as the rest? Noo. All I know is that I read this book and immediately forgot about it. And unlike the house in the cerulean sea it looks like so did everyone else. Seriously tho. Anyone a big fan of this one? 6/10.

[ch4tk4t]

Pride month is already over...(2/2)

PART ONE - HERE

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Rachel Summers aka Phoenix aka Mother Askani aka Prestige aka too many d*mn aliases (I stuck to those I remember from the top of my head)

Needs: I struggle to think up something she needs... More gay? Always can use more gay.

Qualifications: Bi inter dimensional celestial avatar mutie Queen 💅

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Remy Lebeau aka Gambit aka Zaddy "I MURDER in a crop-top" Lebeau (guess which one I made up 🤣)

Needs: Mon ami! Gambit needs ONE thing, and she's called Anna Marie, chère. Aside from that, Gambit don't need NOTHING.

Qualifications: Bi sex icon mutie zaddy (seriously, he's GREAT with kids, like, breed me already, sir. Oh that's right, you're fictional, like my womb😮‍💨)

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Elisabeth Braddock aka Betsy aka Psylocke aka Captain Britain

Needs: Nothing. I'm in love with her new status in the Marvel Universe. Keep it going Marvel. No notes.

Qualifications: Bi ex-ninja inter dimensional protector

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Irene Adler aka Destiny aka Kurt's second biological moooom suck it Azazel 😁

Needs: The Krakoa era already took care of her needs. It would have been cool if a woman was allowed to seem old, but hey 🤷🏽‍♀️

Qualifications: Lesbian mutie freedom fighter

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Harleen Quinzel aka Harley Quinn aka Yes, as you can see I'm aware of DC characters as well

Needs: For birds of prey the movie to be accepted as the classic it is, I will die on that hill. Don't even get me started.

Qualifications: Bi (although I'd debate she's a previously closeted lesbian)

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Cooper Cohen aka Web Weaver

Needs: A f*cking ongoing. Like yesterday. The fact it hasn't been done yet should be considered a criminal offense.

Qualifications: Super flamboyant and stylish gay dude

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Charlotte Webber aka Sun-Spider

Needs: Also a ongoing. Can't believe SPIDER-BOY got one before her. Like, wtf.

Qualifications: Badass disabled lesbian

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Felicia Hardy aka Black Cat

Needs: Tough question... More gay? Never too much gay. Seriously though, she already kinda DOPE.

Qualifications: Bi cat burglar. Be gay, do crimes 💅

🏳️‍🌈

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Karolina Dean aka Lucy in the Sky aka LSD (Yes, really)

Needs: For the Runaways comics to go on forever. Like, really. Not a joke.

Qualifications: Bi alien princess. Also she's a litteral rainbow alien 🏳️‍🌈

🏳️‍🌈

Bonus round:

Today's LGBTQ+ superhero comics character: Gwen Stacy aka Ghost Spider aka Spider-Gwen

Needs: For the spidercels to let our gurl go, she's OURS now. Also Sony, admit she's trans already, you COWARDS.

Qualifications: Trans gurl. Bite me Spidercels 🖕

PRIDE MONTH MAY BE OVER, BUT WE ARE ETERNAL, HAPPY FOREVER PRIDE Y'ALL !!!!

🏳️‍🌈

[popculturebuffet]

Beetlemania: Jaime Reyes (Blue Beetle Volume 7 #1-7 review) (Patreon Review/comissoin for Brotoman.exe)

Welcome back all you happy beetlemaniacas to beetlemania, my look at the three men to wear the mask.. and at last we've come to the breakout of the bunch, the latest and co-greatest, the one whose movie debut inspired this whole project, Mr. Jaime Reyes.

Out of the three Beetles, Jaime has gotten the most appearnces in other media. His two biggest roles were in Batman Brave and the Bold, where he was one of the most featured guest stars, eventually joining that shows version of the Justice League International, with Ted also getting some apperances. More on that next week. He was the centerpiece of Young Justice's second season, with the reach, the beings behind his armor, being the driving force of that season's plot and from what I can tell he's still been decently featured in later seasons. He's also shown up on smallville , justice league actions and in dc's direct to video teen titans movie before they killed off that universe and yes it still bothers me.

But before we can get into who Jaime is, we have to ask whatever happened to ted kord? Short answer...

But when have I EVER taken the short route when I can ramble a bit?

So around the mid point of his solo book, Ted joined the Justice League International. This is where I met my boy and where most people met ted, Ted being thrown in there, along with the later addition of Captain Atom, to show off DC's charlton cast.

JLI was a diffrent sort of justice league book. Most of the big 7 weren't avaliable, with Wonder Woman and Superman busy being rebooted, flash now being Wally West who wasn't ready for it, and Hal Jordan and Aquaman

So with just Batman and Martian Manhunter representing the old guard, writers Keith Giffen and JM Dematis decided to go in a diffrent direction; Make it funny. The comic would be both a sitcom and superhero action with real stakes and status quo changes.. but also batman punching the team's green lantern and ronald regan loving macho dumbass Guy Gardner in the face after Guy challenged the goddamn batman to a one on one fist fight, sans ring.

Have I mentioned JLI is one of my faviorite comics of all time and something i'm LONG OVEDUE covering in some form? Well I have now.

The book was a hit for most of it's run and a fan faviorite for years and had both a great legacy for ted.. and some cruddy after effects. The good was that it kept him in the public eye for some time: Ted was on the team from the beginning to the end of Giffen and Dematis run and into the 90's, including Death of Superman. He also gained his best friend and comedic other half Booster Gold out of the deal, a janitor who traveled back in time with some future tech to make himself a superhero and promote the shit out of himself and whoever paid him to promote the shit out of them. It left ted a fan faviorite for generations and guaranteed he woudln't be forgotten.

The problem was a LOT of people were idiots about the bok and assumed because it was jokey the characters within were jokes. I mean the team wasn't immune to some pretty.. bleh characterizations: Power Girl was an angry man hating sterotype of a feminist as opposed to being an actual feminist now a days, Animal Man was routinely mocked despite Grant Morrision working wonders and ole billy batson was routinely but of the joke as he was well. a 12 year old in a childs body to us but a childish man to everyone else.

As a result many didn't really think to use ted after. There was an attempt at using the charlton characters that fell flat, but otherwise Ted's only real big run I can think of post justice league was in the pages of Birds of Prey, where he showed up having retired and nursing a massive crush on barbra gordon, so do most people attracted to women , can't blame him. The two had good chemistry but ultimately with the spectre of dick "King of all tush's" grayson looming, Ted never had a shot.

So ted was left off to the side, showing up for jli reunions but otherwise unused... until Infinite Crisis. In a fit of irony that had to be intetional, while it's predecessor brought ted into this world.. the leadup to it's sequel would take him out of it.

And thus we come to countdown to infinite crisis, a one shot leading into four mini series that lead into the event comic infinite crisis. CTIC is infamous to some: it portrays ted as a joke in the superhero community and pretty gruseomly kills off an infinite character. And as someone who hates killing off a b or c list character for the shock.. I think his death absoltuely works and is one of the most tragic and well written deaths in the dc canon and lets Ted go out on a high note.

The diffrence between this and say the slaughter of the freedom fighters or the various titans c-list deaths in the book proper is simple: Weight. Ted's death is given a lot of build up, weight, tragedy and is something that is never forgotten afterwords and has a serious impact on several characters.

So ted finds a conspiracy involving Maxwell Lord, formerlly the comically money hungry benefactor behind the jli now a megalomanical supervillian bent on killing all metahumans and superheroes except himself using the OMACs, a last resort batman built after he found out the justice league mindwiped him.

The takeaway is ted found out and with booster injured, Babs busy with a lot of shit, and no one taking him seriously, Ted was left to his own.. and sadly as seen above Max beat the shit out of him, tried to flip him and then shot him in the head. But again part of what makes it work.. is that Ted goes out on his own terms. He could've just given up, he knew going in he had no real chance of winning , no idea what he was facing when he did, and no one to back him up.. but he didn't. He didn't give up because that's not who he is. that's not the man who put on this mask. That's not the man dan asked to put on the mask. He began his career trying to stop a threat only one othe rperson knew about.. and ended it the same way. And it was THANKS to his tragic death everyone else was able to unravel things in time. As a result wonder Woman was able to snap the bastards neck before he killed superman, see above gif, and Lord was stopped.

Problem was Brother Eye, the AI Batman built to create and control the omacs was still mostly loose and the omacs copoted by the big bad of infinite crisis, Alexander Luthor, relelated to exactly who you think's.. alternate good counterpart from a mirror universe. Thankfully Ted's devistating loss inspired Booster to do something, so he went back to the future, grabbed as much info as he could, declared "never again" and found the scarab, which had ended up in el paso on the back of one Jaime Reyes and recutied him since he was invisible to brother eye. With a team of other heroes they saved the world from batman's greatest blunder.

The questions remained though. Who WAS this kid wearing the armor? What happened to him after? And how did he feel about the weight now on his shoulders? All important questions abou tot be answered as we dig into the first arc of Jaime's Solo, Shellshocked.

This comic comes from us from Writers John Rogers and Jm. Demattis. JMD of course co wrote jli, while Rogers is a screenwriter whose written a few comics and later would take sole writing credit here for this run and is part of the reason it slaps so much.

We begin with our hero landing in the desert, having no idea what's going on as he's attacked by captain punched in the face himself Guy Gardner, whose response to Jaime putting up a shield to defend himself after Guy shouts at him "WHAT ARE YOU" is

So an average first meeting with Guy all things considered. We flash back to Jaime's life before he got super armor and had a guy trying to kill him while he looks like he just.. badly wants to go home. The art here by Cully Hamner is fucking awesome and hamner also designed jaime's now iconic outfit, complete with having his mask look similar to a luchadors. It's gorgeous stuff and while Ted had the cool bug eyed goggles and giant ship, Jaime really looks insectoid. while still giving his mask enoough expression.

So in the flashback we meet one of the best parts of the book, Jaime's best friends Paco and Brenda. Paco is a boisterious loudmouth with a heart of gold while Brenda is a type a trying to encourage the other two to study more. Paco has shown up in the brave and the bold but the two don't get adapted much.. including, disapoitningly , for the film , with other characters seeming to take up their rolls instead, paticually Jaime's sister taking paco's roll as she was aged up for the film. I don't hold it against the film makers hard: as much as I miss them I get them trying to both do their own thing and not having room for them, focusing more on his family. Their might be room in sequels, one can hope.

For the comics though I like the two a lot and through every attempted revivival creators have been smart to keep them in it. They both provide a nice shoulder for jamie, Paco being his more fun and games type buddy, while Brenda keeps him grounded. While this type of trio, moderate voice of reason who has to pay referree to a smarty pants and a loudmouth isn't new in fiction, Paco and Brenda feel like real people. Their conversation feels like two real friends arguging with Jamie understandably tired of being their refree.

Things take a turn when Paco is judo throwingly dickish, sniping at Brenda she "thinks she can become a lawyer".. and rightly gets tossed on his ass for it. Brenda also takes akkido.. though the why is heartbreaking as she let's it slip her dad hits her. I also like the diffrence in where the two want to go" Paco dosen't care about school becaues he knows he can't afford college and has to make his own way, while Brenda desperatley hopes to because she has no other option to escape her abuser.. or so she thinks but we'll table that for now. For now Jamie finds the scarab. If your curious HOW Dan's scarab got here, he had it for a while, it seemingly blew up when it reinamainted dan from the dead to fight Ted , and then it somehow ended up on the rock of eternity. Then gods vengance got horny and then got angry and blew it up, and here we are.

We cut back to guy breifly and .. it's more of Jamie getting beaten up as his armor reacts on it's own to pull out canon to defend itself. Then we cut back.. but before we do.. I have to comment on how jarring this is. The scenes themselves aren't bad: the past stuff provides valuable info on who jamie is , his family, his friends, lots of ogod setup and the fight with guy IS necessary: not only is his over the top reaction to the scarab foreshadowing, but it leads to one of the best scenes in the entire series later on when he comes back about a year later.

It just feels a bit jarring here: even having read infinite crisis it feels incredibly abrubt and entirely unfriendly to anyone who didn't.. and trust me as someone back then who , while not reading this series monthly (that came years later when I finally got the chance via comixology unlimited) was picking up books week to week as a high school dork, not everyone could afford the big event series. I'm not doubting most comic book fans had read this.. but to someone just picking up the trade without knowing what an infinite crisis is, it's a bit of a head flip. They DO explain jamie's time in infinite crisis and fill us in on that stuff, it's just a lot to take in getting into the book wether you know the event or not.

Jamie banters with his kid sister milagro, in the comics as I hinted at earlier only about 4 or 5 versus slightly younger than jamie in the movie. The two banter, his mom tells them not to fight (And she knows because it's tuesday), and he goes to help his dad. It's a nice little scene that helps establish the dynamics: he and his sister fight but in a very natural sibling way (Jamie was annoyed she asked him to help with the remote for the 80th time) and his mom is.. well see above: she's tough but entirely fair.

He then goes to see his dad, and we see a scene tha'ts new to us but feels like ti's happened a thousand times: Jamie's dad's car shop isn't doing well but he refuses to let his son eithe rdrop out to work shifts or even do more with school, just wanting him to be a kid longer. I'ts.. heartbreaking and well done.

We then cut back to the fight. Guy is winning.. but breaks the face of jamie's armor so he sees it's just a kid and REFUSES to keep fighting despite his ring's recommendation. This is a REALLY awesome character moment that shows the duo really get guy. Not a suprise form Dematis obviously, but it still shows h'es not the same asshole he used to be. He's still.. well guy, seen here leaving earth for a tour of duty on oa with his usual grace and dignity

That comment tells me Batman''s seen that ass before Batman knows an ass that needs a shaving for he is the night.

Guy explains why he went nuts.. for once with an actual reason: the ring went fucking crazy, and wanted to kill the shit out of Jamie, but Guy isn't a killer.. which is a bold faced lie but hey you try telling a kid. Guy says he'll be back.. and isn't seen for a year in publishing time and months in story. Look he has a lot of people to moon and not a lot of time before he was due back on oa, cut him some slack. The one important bombshell though is contrary to previous lore up to this point, the Scarab.. isn't magic. Which isn't a shock to anyone whose seen jamie in anything else, but is still a nice way to drop that bit of retcon. And I do like it: it dosen't horribly contridcit previous stories and if anything Lewis Lovhag made a VERY good case in his blue beetle retrospective for how it all ties together.

So the scarab retracts, Jamie is left naked and in pain and we cut back to the past. The scarab bonds with him and he speaks it's language breifly.

Jamie then walks with Paco and brenda and runs into a strange girl.. a strange girl who turns out to hav eno eyes. While his friends pass it off as jamie starring at .. something else, it's clear he saw something. It's part of the scarabs power set naturally.

So we end the issue with Jamie naked and having no idea what to do next. We pick up exactly from there next issue: jamie is naked and wondering through the desert wondering how the hell he'll explain this to his parents, when we flash back to the past again. Their at school and Jamie once again sees thigns that arne't there. We find out why as it turns out Probe, the girl from earlier's friend has a power that allows him to make people undedticable. Curious about his own powers they want to invite him to join.. but the scarab attacks probe some how and, not knowing it wasn't Jamie's idea, her friend vows revenge. Back in the present, we get a neat scene as Jamie , with no other options rifles through a guys trunk only for a guy to point a rifle at him. The guy in question being white and having a sweet trucker hat, you'd assume he's going to be a dick.. but in a nice subversion and an even nicer random act of kindness.. the guy simply gives Jamie some clothes, offers to call his folks and is just in general a sweetheart. Given the series takes place in texas, el paso to be specific it's just a nice show that not all people are ignorant monsters. Some people will just.. help someone because it's the right thing as they should.

We get one last flashback, as Jamie gets targeted by Probe's friends we get another breif superhero fight with the scarab activating on it's own. Gain it's a bit.. chatoic, but on second read.. it feels a lot more deliberate than it did. The fight not only shows just how dangerous this thing is when left to it's own devices, but even the posse's leader is starting to tell that whatever Jamie is he isn't a baseline metahuman.

Back in the present day, the friendly trucker man who I genuinely wish we see again some day, such a peach talks to Jamie and tries to convince him his parents will be fine. Jamie insists on sneaking in.. and finds a freaked out Milagro in his bed... and sadly for our boy and his poor family.. that isn't the ONLY suprise awaiting our hero.

It's a hell of a reveal and one that's entirely well done and set up.

To properly explain it I have to get into DC's linewide status quo at the time. Blue Beetle came out in the aftermath of the big event I mentioned, infinite crisis. Heroes lived, a LOT of heroes died, and in the aftermath Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman all stepped away for a bit: Superman was depowered in the final fight of the series, Wonder Woman wanted to reconnect with humanity despite being perfectly connected under any writer who wasn't Geoff Johns, and Batman, after all his paranoid antics leading up to it, decided to take a year off with his adopted sons Dick and Tim. Damien didn't exist yet if you were curious. And so every dc book jumped ahead

Complete with this nifty Sticker. Every book shifted it's status quo with a year having passed and like any good time skip left questions as to WHY things changed while we weren't looking. One Year Later was my first time skip and to this day is one of the best i've seen in comics. At the time I was reading Teen Titans, which shifted to a whole new roster in the wake of superboys death and a lot of turnover off screen, adding in two of my faviorite titans Ravenger and my boy eddie aka Kid Devil, who I'm bound to cover one of these days. It was really good stuff. Other books had roster changes, massive status quo shifts and all sorts of good stuff and most used it beautifully. It's what gave me a love of time skips and what you can do with that.

Given Jamie didn't come in till Infinite Crisis he wasn't obligated to use the gimmick and looking at his first two issues, they cleverly DIDN'T plaster the sticker on there, as to not give away the twist. There was no way a reader would know this had a one way time jump going in and no way a modern reader will know reading the trade. It also means they didn't HAVE to use it.. but i'm glad they did: Jamie being gone and his family and friends dealing without him leaves a massive gap and seeing how it was before allows us to discover how it is now alongside our boy. Some truly magificent storytelling.

We open issue 3 with..

I'm not kidding... we open with Peacemaker, complete with tatoo's. .talks about dreaming 'Blue dreams".. while casually beating up some guys holding up a convience store. He has a friend in the area he just dosen't know it.. god help him.

Back with Jamie, his mom.. dosen't belivie a word and neither does his dad, thinking it was drugs or something. His mom even calls it "this fairy tale". Now in MOST stories i'd get it: it's a LOT to take in and a lot to believe.

The problem is in the details: when Jamie disappeared.. the world was in danger: robots were swarming the sky, an army of supervillians escaped. There was mass destruction all over the world and an army of superheroes engaged in a massive battle for the fate of it. All of this happening around the EXACT same time Jamie disappears in a world where superheroes are entirely common and have been a fact of life since world war II. It dosen't wreck the story for me, Jamie's mom is fairly practical she probably didn't want to kid herself, I get her not thinking that till now.. but it's still VERY weird that none of them think MAYBE this is true.

So with really no other choice.. Jamie armors up. Which solves the "she thinks you were on drugs problem: but the result.. is one of the most heartbreaking scenes in comics and the one thing I was least looking forward to re-reading this story, a scene that's gotten me EVERY time.

It hurt to even put that on there. And in a lesser book Bianca's thought wouldn't have any nuance... but as Alberto explains and somehow makes this hurt even MORE

It's a beautifully heartbreaking segment and part of what makes this time jump work so well: Jamie's disappearnce had a tangible, painful effect. It's an exploration of what just taking ONE person out of the world for that long would do. I also love the end of what I showed you. Alberto explains to his son why Bianca's doing this.. but assures him he's still his boy and this will pass. I also like that they don't just have bianca be evil .. it's simply the SHOCK of all this getting to her, of having to come to the grips with the fact that Jamie is a person.

So he has Jamie go out for a bit, let his mom work through stuff.. though he pointedly dodges Jamie's question about him now walking with a cane. For now Jamie still hasn't gotten a grip on what the suit can do, and tests it, using arm blades and the canon from earlier before popping back naked again. Thankfully this time the Scarab shows it can make him some clothes.

So Jamie goes looking for his friends.. but both places he tries sputter out: Brenda's moved during the year and Paco isn't at school. Turns out though the Scarab can track anyone Jamie's met, and he acknowledges how creepy that is before heading for the border.

So turns out Paco is WORKING with Damper of the posse, the guy who makes the invisible stuff happen.. but just as their on the bridge here come the men in black, and the MIBS are working for someone named la dama and have cable sized laser rifles. Thankfully before they can blow a hole in paco and damper, Jamie swoops in just in time and blocks it. The MIBs decide "Fuck it this guy wants it big willie style" and attack jamie who struggles to get the scarab NOT to murder them, but manages to take them out then swoops off with Hector since homeland security are you know.. homeland security.

Jamie explains things to hector before stopping on a roof with him.

It's a touching and MUCH needed bit of cahtarsis. After going through a LOT of shit in the past three issues.. Jamie's finally given a proper welcome home.

Paco also helps with Brenda... turns out things got even WORSE with her dad and the bastard put her in the ICU. As paco brilliantly put it, there apparently really IS a god as a week later he died, and Brenda's beloved great aunt took her in. Paco's still visiting but hasn't told her about the posse. Jamie's reunion with brenda is just as sweet if a bit .. less huggy.

Yup.

So we open issue 2 and Jamie is doing his homework. He finds ted doing this without powers cool.. until he gets to the bullet in the brain part. Clearly a bit unnerved he moves on to dan, who at least gives him a clue, the scarab gave dan powers.. but he wonders why it skipped over ted. That's when he gets a visitor on the web: Oracle.

For those who haven't seen this version of her, Oracle is barbra gordon. During the killing joke the joker , wanting to drive Comissioner Gordon to madness, shot barbara. That wouldve been the end in many cases but not liking this one bit, writer John Ostrander turned her into oracle, who works as most superheroes go to help line, paticuarlly the bat family and her own operatives the birds of prey. She TRIES to recruit Jamie: Ted was her friend and this makes it her buisness... but instead of opening with "Ted Kord was my friend I just want to help" or something like that which might not have worked but at least would've softballed you know, hyjacking his monitor, Jamie instead blows up at her, mad the other heroes didn't find him (In her defense they had no way of knowing he was missing as Booster never told them and isn't around due to his fate, revealed in the series covering the missing year 52, not being known at the time this comic was published),. Jamie blasts the screen and tells her to go to hell while Black Canary, who is both barbra's best friend na dmain field operative needles her a bit. She likes Jamie though and it's clear she gets it: to Jamie the superhero community abandoned him, and heroes don't do that, and he simply needs time to process the fact their humans and they fuck up.. and that guy DOSEN'T represent them. Though Babs didn't HELP with that one by saying "if he wanted you dead you'd be dead" which is factually true but dosen't exactly calm down the scared teenager babs.

Anyways Jamie's mom takes him to the doctor where they find nothing. Jamie points out that's a good thing: if he HAD found the scarab, which can retreat into Jamie, there would've been a LOT of questions and possibly the government on their asses. We do see Bianca's come around a bit: after jamie apologizes Bianca tells him he has no need to: it's not her fault and she has to stop thinking that.

We cut to La Dama's place. While Brenda leaves for school, La Dama talks with her minon Diviner... and given he oggles brenda a bit before La Dama just bluntly tells him if he does it again he dies, no metaphors either she just straight up says she'll have him killed. Direct. I like that. But Diviner is an ass, but he's a useful ass so La Dama wants him to test the new beetle, try and break him. See if he's of any use since as far as she knows, the Scarab is still magic.

And reinforcing my point from earlier, Jamie getting back into school.. was incredibly easy. A lot of weird shit happened around the crisis so he just had to fill out a form. It's a great gag and makes perfect since. All Bianca had to do was say he disappeared in a beam of light. Brenda shows up , getting out a half our earlier as naturally having a rich aunt means she can get a nicer school and the three riff like nothing happened. Diviner finds Jamie easily.. but realizes Brenda being there complicates things, so he decides to stage a false flag attack: test jamie with a monster and save her to score points with his boss at the same time.

They go to their old hangout spot we haven't seen before but fair enough, we just met these guys. Jamie asks them point blank: what happened to his dad. Both are shocked no one told him and while Jamie got the cliff notes version, he got hurt at the garage, he knows their not telling him the whole truth.

And shockity shock, they weren't. His dad got shot. Turns out the unreliable guy Jamie was trying to fill in for... was in with drugs and Alberto got shot. Jamie.. blames himself. He was going to get to work summer hours. Thankfully Brenda says fuck that noise..well more don't blame yourself, this isn't a mature readers book.. and in a nice moment Paco.. agrees for once.

It's not hard to see why Jamie's connecting those dots as he lays them out: he disappeared, the cops questioned paco and brenda, her dad nearly beat her to death as a result, Paco joined the posse... but Paco makes it VERY clear it's not his fault.

It's a brilliant moment that shows for all his bravado.. paco is very EMOTIONALLY intelligent.

Then some groots attack. Well ents but they look grooty enough. Jamie tries to fight them but the scarab won't damage nature. Foreshadowing for later. For now Jamie takes command and points out when it complains there are plenty of trees, tracking where the magic is coming from.

Jamie is able to stop it and it foils Diviner's attempt to seem like a hero.. that and Brenda KNOWING him, knowing he always hits on her aunt, and not trusting him whatsoever. The fact he uses the word "ruffians" to describe jamie and paco dosen't help.

And with this Jamie's full circle knows. It was one of the big word of mouth things I heard in wizard magazine and other places back in the day... and rightfully so. While most teen super hero works have the hero hide it, especially during the 2000's cartoon teen superhero boom that was going on at the time, Blue Beetle.. has everyone find out within issues 3 and 4. Jamie HAS to reveal it to his parents as a result of his missing year and Paco and Brenda learn organically as he has to save both of them in ways that don't feel contrived: Paco was already working with some metahumans and the attack on him introduces la dama.. and makes it a big reveal that this crime boss is Brenda's aunt and guardian, while Diviner was attacking Jamie anyway. It allows jamie's FAMILY to deal with this situation with him instead of him having to hide it and the books better for it.

Am I saying EVERY hero needs to tell their loved ones? no, if you have a godo reason for them to hide it in your story your good. But if there isn't they should know. It's why most 2000's superhero animated shows, while not telling the parents in most, had the friends know at a minimum. It's more intresting to explore how this effects those around them rather than just having them have to hide it.

So the issue ends with Jamie having Paco call on the posse for a meeting.

Issue 5 begins with Jamie waiting for the posse. He ends up instead meeting the Phantom Stranger. For those curious the Phantom Stranger is.. the phantom stranger is...

I TRIED looking it up but he has no concrete origin. He's a mysteroius man in a trenchcoat and fedora who appears related to magic stuff or to help someone with a critical turning point. For instance brave and the bold had he and the spectre, the horny ghost of god's vengance, wager over wether batman would kill Joe Chill or not. Golly this review is giving me a LOT of ideas for OTHER reviews.

At any rate he says Jamie's not what he thought he was, and then bounces. The posse's rep, Damper the invisible guy from the flashback with probe is ycordial: as long as Jamie dosen't try anything their cool. Turns out Paco is actually really close to him: As he revealed to jamie earlier they aren't into drugs or anything, and as it turns out blocker dude was so upset because one of the other posse members he hurt was his girlfriend who since then has had a baby . And since Paco explained it wasn't a concious decision on Jamie's part, there square for now. He also finds out the stranger was invisible to everyone else and asks the scarab to tell him next time.. and finds out they can't hear the scarab either. Though i'm sure the voices thing went down better as Jamie HAS explained at this point the thing has a mind of it's own. It turns out though a guy working for Diviner is following them.

While that's going on Brenda has lunch with her aunt, who asks her about the boys. She also knows about the Posse though Brenda vouches for Paco, telling them he just hangs out with them. La Dama also wrongly assumes Brenda has a crush on jamie and I like changing this dynamic up: normally in this sort of trio the main character and the girl of the group have the unreseloved romantic tension. Here.. well..

I love the art here too. It communciates very well that no , Brenda's not denying she has feelings.. she's just utterly mortified anyone remotely thinks she has feelings that aren't there.

So while the Posse gives jamie ten minutes to talk, Divinier begins his plan, summoning a religious hunchback to do his bidding

Said hunchback uses harlot a lot and is easily tricked into stealing Damper (Shield guy) and Bonita's baby... and i'm suddenly wishing firefist would come back stupid outfit and all.

It turns out Probe is missing and we find out why while also finding out more about La Damia and the Posse: La Damia was originally just a coyote, someone who helps people from the border in exchange for cash or drug trafficing. Some are more benevloent than others, and ran a whole orginzation of them but has gone up in the world over the time skip.

She's also decided after the crisis she has to step it up hence gathering magical artifacts and metas, collecting them for her own team. And it also turns out Paco was ENTIRELY correct about the posse being good guys and harmless: they run stuff like bingo, smuggling and getting people across the border, but as Paco vouched no drugs or anything serious. They do crime.. but it's only because with no real superhero presence down El Paso way, no one on either side of the border is looking out for the little guy. Paco is one of their non meta guys, used for the more day to day stuff. They also figure Beetle's already being "tested".. before bonita rushes in talking about the hunchback taking her baby and accusing Jamie

We cut back to lunch: La Dama continues to grill Brenda, but Brenda both admits everyone likes jamie and gives the beam of light story: while La Dama dosen't buy it Brenda gives good reason for her loyalty: jamie was there for her when she showed up brused at school from her dad, took her lying about it in stride and simply offered genuine support... and with that La Dama clearly realizes she has an issue as she's targeting her adopted daughter's best friend.

Everyone else gets her calmed down.. and Jamie offers to get her back. It's a nice chekovs gun: since he met them earlier, that means he can track the baby using their combined dna. While one of the posse questions if Jamie's a superhero now Jamie dosen't know about that but says "It's a baby, I can't let anyone hurt a baby". While jamie may not WANT to be a hero and given all the shit it's brought down on his life, no one can possibly blame him... it's moments like this and the stuff mentoind by brenda that show WHY he's a hero. Without a moments hestiation he helps two people using something he really dosen't like simply because a child is in danger and he's the best bug for the job. It's jamie's core feature: his heart> he's just a good kid who loves his family ,friends and tries to do the right thing. That's it. It's why his friends and family are so key to his character: they show off he's human, he jokes, he fights with his sister, he's a normal teen.. but also show he's an honest good kid who does wheaver he can to help them, letting Brenda have an escape from her abusive home, helping his parents however he can, just being there. Jamie Reyes is one of the purest, most lovable heroes in the dc universe and this one moment encpasulates.. all of that.

Jamie fights the hunchback of notre slut shaming but has a problem since you know, he has to also rescue the baby then hold it. He traps the guy under a truck but it barely slows him down. thankfully help arrives: Peacemaker shows up on motorcycle and grabs the baby. Which is badass. but he calls jamie the blue monster.

Jamie is able to easily beat quasimodick though ,as the guy WANTS to die and the scarab drains it clean, despite jamie's wishes.. and as it turns out the news was watching. The whole world now knows there's a new blue beetle.. for better or worse. Something I want to note before we wrap up the arc proper next issue: ther'es a runner that while jamie has great power.. he has NO idea to fight. And I like that. He gets by with his gadgets and such but it creates a nice contrast between the previous two beetles: As we've seen while Dan Garret had powers, he was a brawler, while Ted was an acrobat and used movement as his primary weapon. It creates a nice contrast that jamie really only has his brain, much like ted, and brute force at first: no finnese simply because he hasn't had TIME to learn it yet.

So we come to the finale of our introductory arc, and yes ther'es still another issue to cover after, i'll explain when we get there.

We cut to some time after last issue with Jamie having found La Dama's compound. Turns out he didn't know he could do the tracker thing himself, it's why he had to ask the posse about probe int he first place but now he can it was easy enough. He has Paco stay behind though.. not out of malice or anything but as Jamie rightly points out he's can fly ONE person out if things get dicey. They need an exit stratgey. And when paco worries if Jamie's just trying to protect him..

Our heroes sneak in.. but turns out La Dama naturally ha senors and their soon spotted. The place itself is.. paradise. A really nice garden, plenty of testing. It's clear while La Dama has been taking kids in.. she isn't stupid enough. I mean she still has grunka lunka dunkity darmed guards, but when the guy in charge talks to them he not only tells them they could've got vistors passes. A fight quickly breaks out as our heroes naturally don't assume the best of these guys and one of them spinner, who can swap powers being a dick to the posse dosen't help. A full fight breaks out whlie outside Paco is chasaed. We cut to La Dama who.. handles things well, simply wanting it calmed down and notably giving Spinner an infraction... more on her later as we cut to her other problem, said car chase as Paco tries not to die, while Jamie takes the head guy out of the dome.. and thus the Phantom Stranger finds what he was looking for. it's a lot at once. All good stuff though.

La Dama arrives and ends this nonsese. She also brings out Probe, who turns out is staying of her own free will. As Stranger, whose now visable to all puts it , it's the finest prison.. one of their own will. He's also here BECAUSE La Dama's been hiding magic people, but she counters it dosen't break rules as she's doing it to keep them safe. Which given every the majority of supervillians are still unionized under the society at this point and the goverment's track records includes "send a guy who was used for experiments because he had a rape and murder charge to deal with the new green lantern and hope he dosen't do somethign serial killery to her girlfriend and oh look what's in kyle rayner's fridge".

So Damper makes an offer; since la dama offers saftey, he promises they'll be safe now El Paso has it's own here: Jamie. and Since jamie has no intent to go anywhere and is a good kid he agrees despite just being volunteered for this. La Dama also agrees: they can come and go as they please

As you can probably guess, La Dama isn't pleased and has a one on one with Jamie, who recognized her as Brenda's aunt. She knows who he is as like Ted jamie isn't the best at keeping secrets.. in this case the fact the Blue Beetle showed up right after jamie disappeared with a very flimsy explination.. it's too obvious and it's clear earlier she was just trying to get Brenda to tell her. As for why she put in the effort he's a threat.. and she's not wrong: he upended a massive operation of hers simply by doing the right thing and so far dosen't have any idea what the hell he's doing.

But as you can tell by this point La Dama's smart and it's part of why I love this character so much: she's a crime boss and she's defintely doing some shady shit.. but she's not a horrible person. She genuinely cares from brenda and sh'es far from stupid when doing her dealings. She was kind to the various metas instead of imprsoning them and when faced with a superhero.. she simply makes an offer. And not "you need to work for me or else" like say the kingpin would a simple one: keep doing what your doing but don't fuck with my operations in a major way, which also neatly dosen't stop jamie from say stopping a dealer or a robbery or something if it's on her dime and he didn't know it, just stops him from dismantling them, which with his powers he likely could. She's still antagonistic, offering to paint him as a villian in the media if he does.. but Jamie shows he's not afraid: she does this, he'll tell brenda. He's clearly bluffing, La Dama can see it.. but the risk is too great not to agree. Also in case you were wondering if things were a bhit TOO concidental with Brenda's new happy life.. Jamie had the same thought...

Honestly I like that the crime boss in Jamie's life ISN'T some big kingpin style villian. And I love me some kingpin and his dc equivlent blockbuster. No question. But I like that La Dama.. isn't evil. Ruthless, a criminal and someone more than willing to kill yes, but she's complex: she loves her niece, and while she did kill her dad and it's mildly fucked up she did so given the son of bitch hit her regularly then beat her so bad she had to be hospitlized, I have absolutely no sympathy for him. She did what she had to and the complexites of that including what Brenda will think once she finds out, all nicely add some Drama. La Dama says Jamie won't be able to figure out the scarab without her resouces.. when Peacemaker enters and drops the bombshell.

And this is PART of why I wanted to cover issue 7: it ends on less of a cliffhanger. That and it ties up some necessary EMOTIONAL loose ends too.

So we open our last issue. Jamie recaps his landing to earth and has taken the Reyes Family, Paco and Brenda to the crater it left, with Alberto having them gather some soil samples his cousin can look at. I .. genuinely dont' think this comes up again.

MIlagro suggests retracing his steps.. but still recoils when her brother tries to touch her. It's painful to see. Peacemaker joins the group and understandably Alberto wonders what the strange man wants with his son. Turns out he got the scarabs database, i.e. the instruction manual and more, beamed into his head on a tour of duty. We get our first flashback to inifnite crisis. We also get a few nice bits: Jamie wonders what monster built brother eye with Bruce deflecting it onto Green Arrow. He also later tells them to say they met superman, it'll go down better.. and when we cut back he has. Well most of them take it okay

Speaking of Peacemaker , Alberto dosen't trust the strange tatooted man and isn't comforted by Peacemaker casually talking about working off the books during the dominon and qurac wars, both wars Alberto served in. It's both some nice character to find out alberto served, and something that leads to one of the series best moments later, and both of Alberto's tours are some nice dc continuity nods: The Dominon War was the DC crossover event Invasion! , where the earth was invaded by the dominators. It didn't have a ton of impact and I mostly know it for two reasons: there were tie ins at the time in most books , in paticular Wonder Woman, JLI, and Suicide Squad for me personally, and Doom Patrol's next relaunch came out of the event and it'd later be the origin story for Crazy Jane. god I also have to do some doom patrol content at some point. Not enough hours in the day I swear.

We also get Paco and Jamie's thoughts on the la dama thing: While Paco is worried she's Jamie's "nemesis" jamie.. is fine upholding the truce. La Dama has stopped the worst of her actions, could easily have him ground into paste if she wanted as she likely knows someone as powerful at him but with more experince, and is being good to brenda. There's no REASON to shake that hornet's nest for now.

We get the rest of what happened on Brother Eye: Dinah suggests blowing up the bitch, I forgot she'd already met Jamie at this point, and they blow it up.. and as we see it REALLY was accidental: the scarab cloaked itself upon seeing Jon Stewart and then Hal Jordan.. and thus our hearts get broken one last time ... this arc.

It's one of the best scenes in the whole run and one of the most powerful.. and as I hinted at the main reason WHY I wanted to do this issue. At last, Jamie fully has his family back with him.

As for why he went forward in time it's simple: Brother Eye was already out of synch with time, its's how the scarab could track him since it used similar technology as it's creators, but with Brother Eye busy exploding and everything chaotic Jamie got shifted out of time and phase and thus wound up a year later.

So everything's good right.. except.. peacemaker raises a VERY valuable point as we end on a cliffhanger I CAN live with.

And we'll get to that some other day as I intend to cover the rest of this series sometime on my own time.

For now though when I finally got to read this run last year.. Blue Beetle became one of my faviorite comics of all time. It was probably easy to tell given i heaped almost nothing but praise on it. It has SOME small growing pains but once we're firmly in the present and everything set the book just keeps going and tells a magnifcent coming of age story. It's not hard to see why DC keeps going back to Jamie or why they thought he could anchor his own movie: He's a wonderful, loveable character with a rich and fleshed out supporting cast. While Ted's death was tragic it paved the way for a book about family, legacy, duty and being who you are versus who people expect you to be. Blue Beetle is a masterpiece and there are trades collecting both halves of John Rogers run out now thanks to the film. Snap them up. This is good stuff and it only gets better. For now though that concludes the main portion of beetlemania, but tune in next week for more beetle as we focus on both boys as they get brave and the bold and we wrap up this retrospective. Thanks for reading.

[writebackatya]

1, 7, and 11 for Let’s All Go to the Movies!.

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I’m pretty sure the idea of how I wanted to write this story came to me when I saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, specifically during the trailers. When the trailer for the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid I just remembered being in such “Ugh, I am so sick of these lazy remakes Disney has been churning out, this’ll probably suck” but in the middle of that thought I remember hearing excited gasps from various children throughout the theater who were all just so genuinely excited for that movie. All of a sudden I began to think about just how cynical I am now compared to when I was around that age. I guess I just really wanted to capture that feeling of being in a movie theater when you’re adult vs. when you were a child

And for the record, I have seen the live action remake of The Little Mermaid and I liked it! Ariel and Eric’s relationship was the best part imo, Halle Bailey is wonderful as Ariel, I enjoyed the songs they added, Mellisa McCarthy and Awkwafina do a great job at their parts, but the underwater scenes can be awkward at times, Flounder’s role seems lesser than the animated one, the new Sebastian just didn’t do it for me, and the King Triton and Ariel relationship just isn’t even close to being as good as the original.

7: Where did the title come from?

The title comes from a Ben Schwartz quote, actually! My first exposure to Ben Schwartz was back in the day when he’d appear in CollegeHumor videos, more specifically the Jake & Amir ones. In the Jake & Amir episode Movie Date Part 1, Ben Schwartz appears as a movie theater usher Jake and Amir never met before with the ordinary name, Sulu Candles. In his entrance he sings a song which is a parody of the old movie theater song Let’s All Go to the Lobby. The song starts at 30 seconds into the video, be warned there are plenty of adult jokes in the rest of the vids

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I had a lot of fun putting in nods/references/cameos from Disney, taking shots at Disney, parodying superhero movies, making up the Black Cauldron trailer, and putting all the continuity nods from the DuckTales show, but I guess at the end of the day I’d say the Dewey and Gandra stuff is what I’m most proud of

It’s a dynamic that I wish we would’ve seen more of in the show and I think I do a decent job capturing it. I just like how this whole dynamic started in my head with “This is how he’d get on her nerves” and then eventually I found something that I think is rather sweet. I don’t know, I just love when had Gandra call Dewey “bud” near the end

The other characters are great in the story too. Love Webby, Fenton, and Gosalyn. And I wanted to give those three plenty to do and memorable moments as well

[cherrysnax]

hope people chill out soon, your take was immaculate and actually the reason I followed you initially bc i am an adult who likes cartoons and little kid shows but also doesn't get in internet fights about them and thinks adults who do are... wild, for lack of a better term..

but!!! now I wanna know about your comic (???maybe its a comic not sure) that you've mentioned, I couldn't find a tag to search but do you mind sharing about it? tysm either way have a good one

hi nonnie!! first of all ty for the well wishes and compliments! i'm sure once all the jokes and the offense die down, people will be relatively normal again... i hope.. lets get into the meat of the ask under the cut

EDIT: this got long so if u just want the basic gist, go to the very end!

soooo my girlfriend @pokemonleague and i decided back in...2018? to make spidersonas due to our love of comics and the movie into the spiderverse, but since we're nerds that totally span out of control. it went from a fan rp with several spider-man themed characters to a completely original concept with new characters, our own setting, power system-- the works. it is about superheroes, so it might not be your thing. okay so first backstory stuff

it used to be called the phillyverse and if u go into the tag u might find some old art, but its all extremely outdated (and bad. im not the bessst artist). after some delegation we decided to start making it a comic (we spent YEARS debating it) and named the project around last year. its uh called Show Your Spine!

I'm the worst at describing things but we have like 3 whole seasons entirely plotted out so I can pull somethin like a pitch together: while the vigilantism is a core aspect, with the main overarching plot being a group of unlikely heroes, old and new banding together to stop their city from being overrun by the mob, supervillains, and other threats. it's really about finding love and community in a city at war and finding the strength to protect and nourish it. all the while unlearning all the shit the last generations have taught us, to stop us from perpetuating the cycle of hate... while also beating the shit outta some baddies

in short its abt cringe-fail women doing cringe-fail things lmaoo. its a like a superhero-action-soap opera taking place in the retro-futuristic city of Chesire Grove, new jersey.

in this world, there's people with powers called Augments, who are just like you and me but due to changes in their DNA due were born with the ability to manifest different abilities (think mutants or metahumans). the tension between augments and humans is a little.. high right now, but allegedly better than they've ever been before. It's a newish era of human-augment relations, for better or worse.

we have an ensemble cast, and we intend on taking the main characters from the ages of 16 to eventually 25. the characters are aging in real-time.

OKAY PLOT TIME: The first few arcs focus on a delinquent teenage girl, Leo, trying to find a cure for one of her best friends who has fallen ill after trying a new drug, by all means necessary. during her quest for it, she meets the elusive newer vigilante Spitfire, who had saved her once before. Despite a rocky start, the two start a mentor-mentee type thing, in hope that the other can help them find what they're looking for. For Leo, she's looking for info on the man who made the drug that's been killing people, desperate to make him reverse engineer it. For Spitfire, they're looking for Chesire Grove's longest-running protector: Nightingale, who has suddenly gone missing. Spitfire's a bit new in town but lucky for them, the kid knows the city like the back of their hand.

At the same time, a sheltered augment teen's life is changing, as her overly protective father has finally realized that keeping her inside wasn't protecting her at all. freshly enrolled in a school for STEM students, Bobbi (also known by his nickname Retro) has to learn how to navigate the world for the first time and solve the full mystery of her past, all while her powers are on the fritz.

there's so much to this world, and we're so excited to share it with everyone!! i tried to be pretty vague cause of spoilers, and like i said, bad with words

[all-timepanic]

I watched shazam fury of the gods yesterday and I have thoughts. It has bothered me all day so I need to leave this somewhere. So I guess here is my sort of review. But it is kinda rambly. Or something. Idk I just need to get it out. It also got a lot longer than I planned it to, sorry in advance.

Of course it wouldn't be as good as the first one. Sequels, especially from superhero movies, rarely are. (but maybe I'm just too much of an origin story fan for this as well) This sounds kinda negative, I know, but believe me, I liked this film. A lot, actually. But I'll probably leave out quite a few of the things I actually liked. The main focus is the "bad" stuff. Maybe someone agrees with some of these things. Maybe I'm just overthinking a fun, hero movie. Who knows.

It felt kind of... generic? I liked the first one for its humor. The characters were great, the villain seemed fun and they had fun with some superhero tropes. (+ i loved a lot of the way it was made, from the different shots, to the sets etc.,).

This one fell a little flat for me. Of course, it might be funnier once I get to watch it in english (I can only watch it in my native language here, sadly) but a lot of the jokes just felt like they are forcefully trying to reach the first one in levels of fun. (And don't get me wrong, I was laughing quite a bit as well, there were some HILARIOUS bits in there, but they didn't stick with me as much as some of the firsts ones, y'know?)

The plot kind of felt a bit more boring as well. Yeah, the entire "figuring out the new superpowers" isn't something you can repeat in a second movie, obviously. Instead it went with the kinda family/trust/fear of rejection angle which is nice. It is obviously something that effects Billy. I was excited to see this storyline followed through. But it kind of felt like the movie was just going through the motions? The movie obviously needed to go from point A to B to C but Billy's progression just felt very quick and forced. The speech from the wizard before the showdown didn't feel earned enough for me.

Like, plot angle they were going for was great. Of course everything Billy went through would change him and his behaviour. There is quite a lot of trauma there. And I know with the tone this movie has that is not something that will be unpacked completely. I just wish it was handled slightly differently? (I would have to think more about what bothered me about this, but it isn't handled the way I wish it would be considering it was the very first thing we heard about Billy in this film)

I also disliked how little we actually saw Billy as a teenager? I enjoy Zachary Levi's acting as much as the next person but let Asher Angel get at least some screentime? I don't know if it was because of scheduling or whatever but there were a lot of scenes where the characters didn't need to be in superhero form but they just sort of hung out in adult form.

And it is just a small moment but I still wanted to call it out, because stuff like this annoys me. When Pedro came out everyone answered that they already knew. I hate that. Yes, it was supposed to be a funny moment so of course it wasn't going to be a big, emotional thing and it doesn't need to be. But it always irks me when people "knew" beforehand. bc it always feels like they are saying "people always know before" or "don't feel proud of yourself for opening up, it's old news" (am I explaining this okay? It just diminishes it and if everyone already knows, why add this moment? Especially in this scene where no one would realistically bring the topic up?). Maybe it's not a big deal but imo it was not a good moment.

The biggest thing I hate though is the big, emotional death of a main character with a long scene of the character accepting their fate, grieving friends and family and a funeral (!) just for them to be revived without consequence? Not saying that this is the movie that needs to pull off such a dark twist but... why? It was a very nice emotional part of the movie but it ended up feeling cheap? Especially bc it felt like an excuse to push in a cameo last minute. (It was a nice callback to the fist ww scene, a sort of gotcha we actually have the actress here, but at what cost).

Like I said, I never expected Billy to die, he is THE title character after all and DC would never have the balls to do that. Especially in the 2. film. + they did push Freddy into a more active role, which I love, but especially Adam Brody wasn't built up in a way to take over the franchise, so I knew this would't happen. I was still disappointed. It always cheats the audience out of their emotions. We just wasted 10 minutes of emotional stakes just to be cheated out of the satisfying conclusion?

anyway, I also wanna mention a few things I liked before I leave:

Like I said, the humor was still nice. It felt familiar in a way. And the immaturity was what I expected and hoped for. It makes sense in this film + for the characters. I love the design of the lair. Of course they would bring a bunch of stupid stuff in there. It fit their personalities. (And making the wall in the back a climbing wall was fun, idk why but it was)

I loved Freddy. I liked his character in the first movie as well but I liked him even more here. He got a lot more stuff to do on his own, more screentime and more own struggles to deal with (there are a few things that aren't great but they aren't that big a problem for me)

The monster design was great. I am a sucker for greek mythology and for twists on well known creatures so this one kind of hit a soft spot for me. I liked the way the monsters looked, from the minotaurs to the harpies, and the unicorns were great. I like that they were the fearsome predator type animal in the bunch. and the dragon. I loved it so much. Yes, being made of wood IS sort of a design flaw but you cannot tell me that it didn't look epic. And the way the fear was incorporated into its abilities? Amazing (wish we could have seen more uses of it)

On a similar note the fight scenes were really fun. they played with a few nice ideas and incorporated the superpowers well. ( I especially thought Ana's power were nice to watch, although they weren't often used in direct conflict)

....so I guess that's it? Like I said in the beginning, I really enjoyed this movie but there were quite a few things that felt off, in a way? Maybe I'll feel differently after a rewatch but it just doesn't feel as comfortable as the first one, if that makes sense. It doesn't feel as tightly knit or as satisfying. It is still a fun movie to watch but idk. If anyone wants to discuss this feel free to reblog it and add on or whatever.

[calciseptinefic]

then out of nowhere, somebody comes and hits you with an ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh

Marvel || Wade Wilson/Peter Parker || Part 2 notes: Title from 'Mad Sounds' by Arctic Monkeys. Many thanks to babygato for her beta on this chapter. this fic is also available on ao3 warnings: none

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← previous: Part 1

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The thing is, Wade's been in a situation or two. He's a fast thinker, and he's always been good at knowing what he needs to do to make it out on the other side. Some situations he's been in have involved guns and explosions and running like hell. Others have involved more finesse and charm and increasing subtle pressure, be it psychological or physical. Danger only makes him more deadly, more efficient. His brain—normally a tangled mess of intrusive thoughts, pop culture references, and inappropriate one-liners—narrows down to the moment he occupies.

It's quiet. Peaceful, almost, except for the way adrenaline screams through his blood and he's hyperaware of his surroundings.

Still, Wade's hand is steady as he holds it out.

It's a test of sorts, yet Spiderman doesn't hesitate. He simply steps forward and removes the webbing. It comes off easily. Wade adjusts his fingers on the grip of his gun. Spiderman neither flinches nor steps back. Sure, Wade keeps the barrel pointed down and sure, he has no plans to shoot, but there's no way his inter-dimensional interloper can know that.

Interesting, Wade thinks again. He was fairly certain that Spiderman regarded him as an ally, considering their conversation and a distinct lack of murderous intent, but this is something else. Few people who know Wade Wilson trust him around a gun. He tends to shoot first and ask questions later. He reasons that Spiderman must know Wade. Well, not him him, but another Wade. It's the only reason he can think of for such blind, immediate trust. Either that or Spiderman is an idiot. For a moment, he thinks about asking about the other him but stops. It doesn't feel right, not yet. So instead, he locks his gun, then walks to the other side of the room and sets it down atop his dresser.

"You don't have mind-reading powers, do you?" Wade asks, keeping his tone light.

"Nope, not a part of my super-powered repertoire." Spiderman's answer is forthcoming. "Although I do know a few telepaths. And telekinetics."

"Christ on a cracker," Wade mutters. Briefly, he wonders how insane Spiderman's universe must be before shoving the thought aside. He needs to focus on the tasks directly in front of him: grabbing a shirt out of his dresser, making pancakes, and getting more information out of Spiderman. He can worry about the rest later.

"So what superpowers do you have?" Wade grabs a random t-shirt and pulls it over his head. "Are they all spider-adjacent? Or did you just choose the arachnid theme to strike fear into people's hearts?” He turns back around, pops a hip against the dresser, and taps a contemplative finger to his chin. “Or did you choose spiders because they're your personal phobia, like bats are to Bruce Wayne?"

"Who's Bruce Wayne?"

"No Batman in your neck of the woods?"

"We have an Antman. Scott Lang?"

"You make him sound like he's real," Wade jokes. When Spiderman doesn't immediately reply, Wade groans. "He's real, isn't he."

"Umm, yeah. Scott's real. Is... Bruce Wayne... not real?"

"Not as such, no. He's a fictional character with about a thousand comic book iterations, more movie franchises than you can throw a batarang at, and a few animated series. Oh, and that old timey live action series from the sixties. I suppose it makes sense that you don't have that kind of stuff in your universe though. Why would you have stories about superheroes when they exist in real life?"

Wade keeps up a steady stream of conversation as he makes his way into the kitchen. There are a few dirty dishes in the sink, some junk mail on the counter, and a full, tied-off trash bag to be taken down next time Wade leaves the apartment. Spiderman doesn't seem to mind. He simply pulls out one of the barstools by the kitchen island and clears a small spot for himself among the everyday detritus of Wade's life. He seems comfortable. At ease. He said that this was his apartment in his universe, but an identical floor-plan does not account for his familiarity with what is clearly Wade's space.

Interesting, interesting, interesting. Everything Spiderman does points to an unfathomable trust in Wade, the kind that's been tested and earned.

Still.

Wade has to be sure.

"I was bitten by a genetically-altered spider, so I guess that means my powers are spider-begotten rather than spider-adjacent," Spiderman explains as Wade dons his usual cooking apron. It’s a baby pink monstrosity with more frills and bows than is practical or safe, but Wade loves its dramatic flounce and how the lace emphasizes his shoulders. Spiderman doesn’t react as Wade slides it over his head; either gender norms are different in his neck of the woods, or he’s seen it before.

Good to know my taste is impeccable across parallel universes, Wade thinks, smoothing the fabric.

“I was different, before I was bit,” Spiderman continues, elbows on the counter, chin in his hands, watching Wade gather the ingredients he needs from the cupboard. “I had asthma. Bad eyesight. The occasional flare-up of acne. I was..."

"A big ol' nerd?" Wade interjects.

"Putting it lightly." Spiderman laughs. "I mean, I'm still a nerd, but after the bite? Physically? I had perfect vision and no asthma. I could stick to pretty much anything. I was stronger. Faster. More flexible, more coordinated. I was more durable than a baseline human and I developed an enhanced healing factor. Nowadays bruises don't last long—maybe a day or so—and I think bone fractures last about a week. I, uhh, I also have a sort of sixth sense that lets me know when I'm in danger.” He laughs again, though this time it’s softer and more self-deprecating. “That one helps a lot."

That explains how he dodged those shots, Wade thinks as he cracks a few eggs into a bowl and begins whisking. And maybe why he wasn't scared when he took the webbing off my gun. He would know if I was going to shoot him.

Aloud, Wade teases, "Get into a lot of fights?"

"Yes and no," Spiderman answers with a shrug. "Most of the time, patrol is boring. Easy. Purse snatchers, drug dealers, car jackers. Some robbers and some dickheads who don't know shit about consent.” A little snort of disgust. Then, “I mostly stay in the neighborhood but being a vigilante for almost ten years comes with its share of archenemies and random team-ups. I've gotten involved in some weird stuff. Big stuff too, I guess. "

Wade cuts off a slab of butter and drops it into a large pan, watching it melt. When it begins to bubble, he pours some batter in, trying to imagine what constitutes as weird to a guy who can crawl on the ceiling.

"Smells good," Spiderman says and, as if on cue, his stomach rumbles audibly. He curls in on himself a little, one gloved hand pressing against his abdomen, sheepish. “Sorry.”

"No need to be sorry, baby boy. You’re hungry."

"You have no idea."

"The first one's always shit."

"You always say that," Spiderman says in exasperation. "But you know as well as I do that it's perfectly—oh. Oh fuck."

There it is, Wade thinks victoriously. He tries and fails not to grin like a madman, and he's sure he sounds smug when he says, "See? I knew there was something you weren't telling me.”

“There’s a lot I’m not telling you,” Spiderman pouts.

“Well, sure. But this seems more relevant than knowing your favorite color, or whether or not you’ve been to Disneyland.” Wade flips the pancake before turning back around and crossing his arms over his chest. He frowns. “Seriously, though. If you know me—or well, another me in another universe—why hide that?

"It's complicated," Spiderman mumbles.

"More complicated than inter-dimensional travel?"

A wordless groan. Spiderman’s head slips from his hand to the counter, forehead tapping the stone with a thunk. He stays there a moment, still in defeat, before he begins to bang his head repeatedly against the surface.

"Ahh, don't beat yourself up, Spidey. I kinda already knew. You asked me some weirdly specific questions." Wade snorts and gestures vaguely with the spatula. "Besides, now I know you're being completely honest with me. That was a legitimate slip-up. Most people can't fake stuff like that."

"We've already established that I'm a terrible liar," Spiderman says, his voice muffled.

"You were doing fairly well with the whole 'lying by omission' schtick." Another thunk. "Look, you might be able to stick to the ceiling, but I got my own set of mad skills, including interrogation by pancake making." Thunk. Wade brandishes his dirty spatula, a pointed, rubber threat. "No, seriously, stop trying to give yourself a concussion in my kitchen. I'll even let you have the first one."

"You always give me the first one," Spiderman whines even as he sits up. Wade grabs a small plate from a nearby cabinet, flips the pancake onto it, and sets it in front of Spiderman, along with a bottle of maple syrup from the fridge. Spiderman reaches up to his mask, fingers at an invisible seam on his neck, getting ready to pull it up—

He stops abruptly. Glances at Wade.

"Oooooh," Wade says. "I know this one. It's in all the comics. Secret identity?"

"Mostly. I mean, the other you knows but—"

"Gotcha," Wade says with a wink, then turns back to the stove to pour another large pool of batter into the pan. He refuses to admit that the words 'the other you' makes his brain hurt a little. It was fine when it was a theory but in practice? Migraine-inducing. "I'll keep my back turned while you eat."

"Wade."

"I mean, I get it. Supervillain enemies, potential danger to loved ones, risking the peace and sanctuary given to you by the anonymity of civilian life—"

"Wade."

"You don’t gotta take that tone with me, baby boy. You've got your secrets and I respect that. Just because you've crossed over into another dimension doesn't mean that it's safe to expose yourself like that—"

"Wade, I'm done with my pancake."

"Already?" Wade says, and looks over his shoulder—only to see that the first pancake is still untouched on the plate, and a brown-haired, doe-eyed twink with an upturned nose and freckles is grinning slyly at him, totally unfamiliar despite the familiar way it's given. The combination of sassy smile and sweet boy-next-door features is lethal, an arrow aimed directly at Wade's dick heart.

Oh no, Wade thinks numbly, fist tightening around the faultless spatula. He's hot.

"Hi!" Spiderman chirps, waving a jaunty and wholly inappropriate hello. He’s removed the glove on his right hand, his fingers long and pale. "I'm Peter Parker. I'm twenty-six years old, I'm a grad student at NYU, and I love moonlit stake-outs on rooftops, patrolling scenic dark alleyways, and beating up bad guys. Oh, and I'm also a spider-themed vigilante from another universe."

"... You're a fucking menace," Wade wheezes.

"And I can play you as well as you can play me," Peter informs him, as though Wade doesn't know that he was thoroughly tricked. "Besides, I've already thought this through. I've ruled out some other viable scenarios, up to and including mind control and dream invasion."

"What the fuck is dream invasion?" Wade asks because, seriously, what the fuck is dream invasion?

"The deliberate invasion of another's subconscious to manipulate them," Peter answers with a vague undercurrent of 'exactly what it sounds like, keep up'. "And this is not that. Besides. I might not know you, but I know you, you know? I'm not really worried about you seeing my face or knowing my name because, if this universe doesn't have superheroes or supervillains, which I am roughly 99.9% sure it does not, me being Spiderman is more dangerous than me being plain ol' Peter Parker."

Wade watches as Peter opens the maple syrup and drizzles the first pancake liberally, before rolling it up and shoving an entire third of it into his mouth. It's obscene in a way Wade really, really should not be thinking about when he's going commando in his unicorn print flannel pajama bottoms, so he turns around and attempts to salvage the burning pancake on the stove. When it's finished, Wade claims it for himself; he's not going to feed Peter a subpar creation. He puts a little more butter on the pan then pours more batter for Pancake #3.

Despite the late hour—3:46 AM, according to the digital clock on his stove—Wade makes pancake after pancake after pancake. He stops talking, falling into the rhythm of it, and lets his mind go blank.

So what if Peter knows him?

So what if Peter trusts him?

So what if Peter's attractive, and sassy, and clever, and makes little happy noises as he shovels pancakes three through seven into his mouth the moment after Wade slides them onto his plate?

"Jeez-us, baby boy, where are you putting it?"

"Enhanced metabolism," Peter answers, his cheeks chipmunk fat as he chews. "I need approximately three times the average caloric intake for my height and weight. Four times if patrol was active."

Wade flips another pancake. Wonders if he has chocolate chips stashed in the cupboard. He doesn't like them personally—he likes his flapjacks plain and classic—but Peter seems like he would like chocolate chips.

"Catching lots of bad guys?" Wade asks.

"Some nights," Peter answers.

"Solo?"

"Some nights."

Peter’s tone is nonchalant. Airy. He really does suck at trying to avoid certain topics, but instead of teasing him for it, Wade takes a moment to check the pancake. The bottom is golden brown. Ready. He slides it onto Peter's empty plate. Turns back to the oven and pours more batter. Finally, Wade asks, "And other nights?"

Peter chews. And chews. Wade can tell he’s choosing his words.

“Other nights I’m with you. Well, you know, my universe you.” More chewing. More word choosing. “We started rotating patrols since I started grad school. Except Taco Tuesdays, when we go to that one food truck a couple blocks down. You get one of everything on the menu. Two of some things. You really don't like to share the chimichangas."

Wade pokes the pancake with his spatula despite knowing it isn't ready. The edges are still white and goopy. There isn’t a Mexican food truck a couple blocks down but it’s true that Wade dislikes going halfsies on a quality chimichanga.

"Sorry, is this weird?" Peter says. "I mean, this is my first time actually leaving my own universe, but at least I had pre-existing knowledge of the multiverse. If this is... overwhelming, or weird, I can leave. You don't have to get involved."

Wade scoffs but does not point out that he is already involved. That he was entangled in whatever-the-fuck-this-is the moment Peter came through the window. This is officially the strangest thing that has ever happened to Wade and Wade had been knee-deep in weird shit when he was special forces.

"Not gonna lie, baby boy," Wade says. "The fact that there are infinite universes is less surprising to me than the fact that other me—your me—is running around in spandex on your off nights catching baddies. Hard to picture myself as the good guy. Can't say I've made it onto Santa's nice list since... ever."

Peter laughs and quotes, " 'I was in the third grade... People treated me like a criminal...' "

" 'Because I killed somebody!' " Wade finishes. "Okay, so you had viral Vines in your universe too. That's, uhh, something."

"Tony calls it the infinite probability problem." Peter's words are muffled by a mouthful of pancake. "Basically, because there are an infinite number of alternative realities, there are also an infinite number of constants."

"... Tony?" Wade asks.

"Stark," Peter says, to clarify, but when Wade just shakes his head, Peter tacks on, "There are still an infinite number of differences, too."

Wade looks at Peter. There are purple-blue bags beneath his eyes and his hair is a mass of brown waves, messed up and a little greasy from his mask. He looks younger than the twenty-six he claims to be. Wade asks, "Is that why you think you can trust me? Because of... some infinite probability?"

"I trust my Wade with my life," Peter states, as though such a fact doesn't make Wade want to break something. "And honestly, the fact that you're feeding me pancakes at four in the morning and have called me baby boy multiple times makes me lean heavily towards the multiversal constants theory. Also, I know you're trying to figure out what's going on without freaking me out, which my Wade does all the time. So."

"Caught onto that, huh?"

"Yes, Wade. And I don't need the kid gloves." Peter rolls his eyes. "I know it's weird and I am a little freaked out, but it's also interesting learning what's different. See, in my universe, when you got cancer, you didn't undergo chemotherapy. You had some repressed mutant genes for healing and regeneration that were unlocked, and these genes made you... invincible, for lack of a better word. You can heal from literally anything. Regrow limbs. Even come back from the dead."

Unlocked, Peter said. Wade knows a euphemism when he hears it and, remembering one of the things Peter asked about him earlier, he hazards, "Weapon X?"

Peter nods.

"Sounds bad, but hey, I bet it was still better than chemo. Being bald suh-ucked."

"Actually, this is the first time I've seen you with hair. Or eyebrows," Peter quips. "I almost didn't recognize you."

Wade unconsciously touches the scar that bisects his face. It starts underneath his chin and drags viciously upwards, across his mouth to his left temple. He’s lucky that the knife missed his eye, though sometimes he wishes the scar didn’t look like a fat pink worm lived just beneath the surface of his skin. Some people stare when they see him, their eyes cutting the same path the blade had; Peter hasn’t, but from what it sounds like, his alternate self might look like a naked mole rat. But beyond the baldness and the lack of eyebrows, how different are they? Are their eyes the same color? Are their noses the same shape? Are they from the same ethnic background? Hell, do they have the same scar?

"Is that why you came here?" Wade asks evenly as he flops Pancake Numero Nueve onto Peter’s plate. "For my help?"

"Honestly, I didn't even know I was in a different universe. From what I've seen, movement between dimensions is flashy. Doesn't matter if it's science-based or magic-based."

Wade tries very hard to pretend he didn't hear the word 'magic' come out of Peter's mouth without any trace of irony. He supposes it's just another thing to add to the ever-growing 'Shit I'll Think About Later' pile.

"I guess whatever happened to me when I was still in my own universe was so subtle I don't even know when it happened," Peter continues. "I only intervened in a couple of petty thefts tonight before I decided to swing back home. A part of me is still expecting to wake up and realize that this is just a dream, but I know, for the most part, that it's just the shock talking."

"You seem to be holding it together pretty well."

"My compartmentalization game is god tier," Peter answers. "I'll freak out before I go to sleep or like, wake up in a dead sweat in the middle of my REM cycle."

The tenth pancake uses the last of the batter. Peter once again rolls it into an easily held swirl of delicious carbs, and sops up the dregs of syrup on his plate. Wade rinses the mixing bowl, spatula, and pan in the sink, then sets them aside; he'll throw them in the dishwasher tomorrow. When he turns around, he sees Peter hiding a huge yawn behind his hand. Peter’s exhaustion makes it easy for Wade to come to a decision, one that he’s been slowly and steadily building towards since Peter took the webbing off his hand.

"You can take the couch," Wade says.

Peter looks at him, dark eyebrows drawn together as he chews on his bottom lip. Quietly, he admits, “I meant what I said earlier. I don't know why I'm here. It could be an accident. Or it could mean a lot of trouble. You've been more than nice to me, considering how whacky all this must seem, and I don't want you to get involved in something that even I don't know the parameters of. It might be dangerous to help me.”

“Is that supposed to dissuade me?”

“I’m serious, Wade.”

"So am I." Wade crosses his arms and leans against the counter. His frilly apron and unicorn-patterned pants contrast sharply with the rigid set of expression. "You're from another universe, Peter. If I don't let you sleep here—if I don't help you—then who will? You have no resources. Your cell phone doesn't work. What do you think you're going to do?"

Peter presses his lips into a thin line. His chin lifts stubbornly. Wade knows instantly that Peter would leave if he thought Wade had any doubts whatsoever about the situation.

Sighing, Wade scrubs a hand across his face. "Look. I've already made up my mind. It's not like I believe in fate, or destiny, or whatever, and I'm not some bleeding heart who sticks his neck out every time some stray gives me the puppy dog eyes—"

Peter makes a small, disbelieving noise in the back of his throat that Wade chooses to ignore.

"But to be honest, you fucking stink, and you look like you're going to collapse. So. You're going to take a shower. You're going to scrub that New York City back-alley smell off because I personally want to stop breathing through my mouth. And while you do that, I'm going to find you something to wear and grab a spare comforter. We'll sleep. In the morning, we can talk more about getting you back to where you belong. Alright?"

Once again, Peter looks at him. This time, it's accompanied by a disbelieving shake of his head, a small laugh, and the slow spread of a smile. It's huge and warm, and it makes the corners of his eyes crinkle. He looks... fond. Assured. As though Wade's words alone comforted him. No one's looked at Wade like that in a long, long time. Not since Vanessa. Not since before the cancer.

"You're a good man, Wade Wilson," Peter tells him. "In every universe."

Then he hops off the stool and heads towards the bathroom, as though he hadn't just emotionally sucker-punched Wade right in the feelings and left him metaphorically gasping for air.

Fuck, Wade thinks dizzily, his nails digging into his forearms. I am so fucking screwed.

It isn't until Wade hears the shower start that he can move again. On auto-pilot, he goes back into his bedroom, finds something that might fit Peter, and leaves it folded neatly outside the bathroom door. Then he grabs a spare comforter and pillow from the linen closet, and deposits both on the couch. It's a nice couch, bought specifically for napping purposes, so Peter should sleep fine. Wade grabs the old take-out container off the nearby coffee table and throws it away, then aimlessly starts straightening up various odds and ends. Only when the shower stops does Wade realize that he's dicking around in the hopes of seeing Peter again.

Which.

No.

That way lies absolute madness.

"Clothes are outside the door!" Wade half-yells as he power walks to his bedroom.

"Okay!" Peter shouts back. "Thank you again!"

Wade chokes down an unnecessary 'you're welcome' and all but slams his door behind him. A second later, the creak of the bathroom door opening filters into Wade's ears. He doesn't need to see Peter in nothing but a towel, curls wet and skin flushed. He can already imagine it too well. Does he only have freckles on his cheeks, or do they go down to his shoulders? His belly? His—

Wade shoves that last thought out of his brain. Grabs his gun off the dresser, stomps over to his bed, and angrily gets under the covers, cramming the gun back under the pillow. He rolls onto his left side. Huffs, then wriggles onto his right. Sits up when he cannot get comfortable and punches his pillow. Lays back down. Thinks of the way Peter smiled at him. Digs the heels of his hands into his eyes hard enough to see bursts of white against the black.

In his darker moments, Wade hates that it's easier for him to point a gun at someone than it is to talk to the cashier down at the bodega. The Wade in Peter's universe must be a better guy than Wade himself could ever be, to earn the complete trust of someone like Peter. And maybe Wade isn't like the other Wade—this being an infinite difference instead of an infinite similarity—but Peter's obvious trust in him makes him want to step up. To be the person Peter mistakes him for rather than just a mistake. To be worthy of that smile, now burned into his brain.

"I am so fucking fucked," Wade murmurs, and it is a long, long time before he falls asleep.

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Part 3

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