#Y/n x solider boy

[fandomtherapy44]

Solider Boy x reader

Summary: The year just turning into 1982 Vaught's Payback being the most talked Superhero group especially Vaught's Golden boy. The elusive handsome player Solider boy. Y/n has always wanted to help people with her powers so when Payback starts interviewing, she has to go. Her whole life is about get shaken up not just by how she thought superheroes were supposed to be but by an arrogant self-absorbed but handsome asshole.

Paring: Solider boy x reader/Enemies to lovers

word count: 1,338

Chapters: 1/?

WARININGS: oh, shit here we go again. Major language, Cancer patient, being mean to Y/n.

I got the divder from

saradika

AN/ Hey everyone so I've been thinking to make this for a while now. Since I love the Boys so much did, I start watching this show for Jensen maybe did I stay for the others yes. I think Payback is so interesting, so this is like a prequel series. I just love the backstory of Payback I hope we get more in this new season. This first chapter we don't meet Ben, but we will soon ;) Hope you enjoy.

Chapter one: Taking the leap

POV (Y/N)

The year being 1982 I was freshly twenty-eight working at fucking Vought burger I mean I was making money not much but still I just thought I would be somewhere else at this age. I was mopping the floors at one am with the smell of cell killing chemicals and the four-hour crust of kid puke up my nose. The old tv in the corner of the ceiling was a plus though because Vaught central channel would replay old Payback movies. Superheroes were my everything when I was a kid especially when I learned I had the very powers that my hero’s had. But my mom never wanted me to use them. 

“Hey Y/n how’s your mom doing?” My friend slash coworker asked me. “Oh well she has a treatment this week but after that I don’t know how I’m going to cover the cost next time.” “I can maybe scrape some money together.” I put my mop down and turned to her. “No no I couldn't ask you to do that you have your own shit to worry about.” “Ok but if there is anything else I can do I will be there.” I smile at her kindness. “I'm counting on it.” Just two more damn hours and I could go home and sleep for three hours and then go to my next job.

“Hey, did you hear about those auditions downtown?” “What auditions?” I asked, not really paying attention trying to get the puke stain out of the tiled floor. “Really you haven't heard that’s surprising of how much you love superheroes, it's the payback auditions.” I nearly slipped on the puke. “What! Are you serious!?” I ran over to her shaking her. “Yes Y/n yes! Now can you stop shaking me? I think my brain is starting to leak.” “Ha yes sorry it’s just that it has literally been my dream since I've learned I have powers.” “So, are you going to go?” That was the question.

The weather today was cold, and it was raining well more like pouring and my broken umbrella was barely holding together. I walked in and said hello to the nurse. Before I walked in the room, I put on the fake smile that I put on every time. “Hey mom.” I went to her bed. “Sweetpea, I didn’t know you were coming today.” She said in a very southern draw one of the many things I loved about her. “I wanted to surprise, especially today.” I looked to the tube in her arm for her treatment.

“So, how’s college?” Right college. “Well, my professor says that he was most impressed by my last paper.” This was all bullshit but if I told her what I was really doing all day she would discharge herself and go home and let God do the work to heal her. Well sadly I couldn't leave it up to God not where she was with her stage. “Now that's my daughter on her way to be on the top and get her dream job.” Dream job now that was a joke.

“Yeah...” I looked at the time and my other job was calling. “Well mom I have to run to class. Do you need anything before I go.” She grabs my hand and stares in my eyes. “I just want to look at my little girl for a minute.” In that minute my heart was racing. “Now sweetie go kick but!” My mother would never curse. She said that if she did that she might as well drink dirt then sweet lemonade. 

On my way to work my umbrella fully went down. Luckily there was an awning, and I ran under it. I looked out and it seemed the whole world was working against me. My mother, my job, my lack of a love life but that was the last thing on my mind. The weather was like my life exploding all at once. I just didn’t know what to do. But I think the world heard me and a gust of wind threw up a flyer in my face but not just any flyer.

“Hi there, can you please step forward and state your name,age,height,weight,Sup name.” I don’t think I have ever sweat so much in my life. “Uh Y/n L/n,28,’-,___’ and I don’t know ha.” I looked down nervously. “You're auditioning for a superhero team and you don’t have a name?” The woman looked at me in disbelief. “I-” She holds up her hand to stop me. “You know what I don’t have time to hold your fucking hand like in kindergarten just show us your powers.”

I took that in stride and stood back. I breathed in deeply and used my whole body to push forward and a force came out that crumbled all the practice dummies. I also grabbed the air around me and made a blade. Then I made a shield from that same air. I looked back and everyone looked shocked. The woman from before stacked her papers. “Um thank you we will call you.” I bowed and said thank you.

It had been about a month, and I had heard nothing, so I had lost hope. I was once again cleaning a kid's mess. Parents really need to watch their kids. “Y/n phone call!” My coworker called out and I threw down my rag and dusted off my pants and went to the phone. “Hello” “Hello this Vaught.” My eyes widened and I held my hand over the phone to not hear my escaped squeals. “What are you calling about?” I tried to keep my excitement in.

“Well, the people who are behind payback were very impressed with your audition and would like to invite you to be the newest member of payback.” I did not think twice. “YES!” “I mean yes I would love to.” “Great you will be flown out on the first of next month.” Oh, shit I didn't know it would be that quick. She sensed my quiet. “Will that be a problem?” “No of course not thank you.” She hung up. “Who was that?” My coworker asked. “That was the call telling me that I'm going to be the newest member of Payback.” I said realizing that my whole life changed in five minutes.

It was only the tenth, but I had so much shit to do I had to quit my jobs, stop renting and tell my mom which to be honest I was putting that off. “Hey mom.” “Sweetpea if you keep on surprising me, I'm going to have to start getting pretty for you.” “Mom, you are beautiful everyday no matter what.” “Aww you're just saying that.” “Speaking about our visits, they will have to slow down.” She looked disappointed. “Well, I understand for school.” Here I go. “Mom I'm just going to say it…  you're looking at the newest member of Payback.” “Tell me you're joking.” “No mom I’m not.”

“Y/n you can’t it's too dangerous.” “Mom, I swear to you I will train every day be the safest possible.” “No, I won’t allow it.” “Well sorry I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions. And frankly my fast-food jobs are not cutting it for the bills.” “Fast food? What about college?” “I couldn't do both make money and do school.” “So, you've been lying this whole time.” “I’m sorry mom but it was between me, and you and I chose you.” She had hot tears welling up. “But with this job I can pay for everything and more.” “You'll call me every day?” I threw myself in her arms like I was a little girl again. “Everyday.”

I get on the plane, and I sit down. My whole life was about to change. I was going to go from nobody to where I have permission to punch strangers. But I was ready for whatever or whoever will be there. 

[saintgoths]

ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ

ᴀʀᴛʜᴜʀ ᴍᴏʀɢᴀɴ, ɢʜᴏꜱᴛ, ʟᴇᴏɴ ᴋᴇɴɴᴇᴅʏ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏʟɪᴅᴇʀ ʙᴏʏ.

ʙᴀꜱᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ʙʏ xxxᴛᴇɴᴛᴀᴄɪᴏɴ; "ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ."

jealous men hearing that their ex is in a new relationship.

P!LINKS!

wasnt read over

ARTHUR MORGAN

You had gasped, your partner had been in the next room, had been asleep, in thought that you had been taking care of yourself in the baths or feeding your horse. If your partner had known you had been in the room next to his being fucked by Arthur Morgan, he’d prepare to have the town chase him out.

You had tried to keep your moans low, face against the pillow as you bit against the fabric, your body had been tense, cunt tight around his as he easily slipped and pushed himself inside of you. His thick fingers dug into your hips as he held you close against him, one had travelled to the locks of your hair and gripped tight as he dug deeper, the girth of his cock stroking the soft and sensitive cores of your pussy as it dribbled with its nectar, you were so close, so fucking close and he knew.

The twitches and whimpering, the weakening of your body as it slumped, allowing Arthur to take control of your body.

“Come on baby girl,” he grunted, the skin of his slapped against yours, his other hand pulled away from your hip to smack your ass, and you flinched, the tight motion had your heat pulse. You had gritted your teeth as you could feel cold tears slip down your cheeks, you couldn’t do it anymore, you couldn’t hold it in. “Moan for me,” he encouraged and you did, you had cried out his name while your body tingled ready to peak.

“Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!” You had repeated as your ambrosia coated his, the movement of his hips appeared to slow down, and he pulled out, in response you had whimpered to the loss of fullness, but had pressed your chin against the bed, relieved as the hot ropes of his cum slipped against your back.

Softly, Arthur leaned against you, his wetness he released on your back stuck against his chest, but he didn’t care. He moved his lips against your ear and then gave your neck a quick kiss. “Get yourself cleaned up, you don’t want him to see you like this, don’t you?”

REFERENCE ONE

SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY

Your eyes watered, you don’t know how long you’ve been on your knees, but all you could do was stare up at him. He was so thick, but the number of times he had used your pretty lips had help you get use to your size, his hand was dug into the strands of your hair, your locks messy as your saliva slid around his cock and spilled out of your mouth.

He had pushed your head so down you had fought to not gag. He wasn’t always so rough with you, but seeing you be touched by a man that’s not him---he thought he’d be able to control himself, but he couldn’t. When Prince invited you to his home party, he had thought you’d be alone, there was whispers from both Soap and Gaz that you were with someone else, but Ghost had been to adamant to believe it.

He didn’t think you’d move on so quick, but you did.

“Take it,” Ghost gritted, his voice cloaking over the music that played outside of the small room he had pulled you into. You had hoped your make-up wasn’t smudged, but Ghost had been reckless, shoving his hips forwards and holding your face like you were a fuck-doll. “Take it princess, I know you can,” he encouraged, he had been teasing you throughout this, making fun of how small your current lover must be for you to be gagging around his dick.

“Good girl,” he patted once he allowed you to move your head away, you took in a deep breath, thumb gently shadowed the tip of his cock which had twitched after your touch. You weren’t finished, so you licked his head and listened to the way he moaned, the song of his cries made you so wet, and with your eyes closed you continued to lick and suck, to please him and have him cum down your throat.

“Good girl, good girl,” he repeated with his eyes closed, his body shivered and that’s when you knew he was close. He continued to call you his pet names, his mind empty as his cum milked down your throat. He had tugged his lips behind his teeth as he fucked your throat a few times, and when he was done, he released a relieved laugh.

You who had once swallowed his cum wiped your mouth with the back of your hand as Ghost did a motion with his finger. “Take off your panties and sit on my lap,” he ordered, and like the obedient doll you was, you brought yourself to your feet and sat on him.

REFERENCE ONE

LEON KENNEDY

Leon rarely liked to say he was a jealous person, if someone pointed it out, he’d dismiss it with a “it was nothing”, but this time, perhaps he was already in a bad mood. Seeing you at the bar the two of you had first met, and seeing you talk to another person who has no information on.

That time he didn’t know if you knew he was there, but he had waited, had waited until the person you were with had left to get drinks to come to you. The talk the two of you had was short, but all you know that what he had said, had caused the two of you to be in a stall, hand over your mouth as he fucked you.

Leon was barely a person who made noise, but he had missed you, and so did his dick.

Your back was against his chest, ass leaned against the hardness of his balls as he used you. One hand slipped under your shirt and the other hand having two of his fingers in your mouth. You had moaned, eyes wet as you attempted to keep yourself down.

“Right there!” You moaned around his fingers, you had sucked them, licked them as if it was his cock filling your mouth. You had yearned for his taste, talking to other men couldn’t cover what Leon could give you. While he had grunted in your ear, you had moved your hand towards your swollen clit, eyes rolled to the back of your head, you felt your legs shake, you were so close, your body hot as you had then moved on your own, bounced on his cock as if he were your own play-thing.

Relieved, he had leaned himself back, he knew you got like this when you were about to cum. So dominant and controlling. “Right there Leon!” You whined as a sharp pleasure pushed through your body, your fluids began to squirt against the floor, mixing with his as he leaked himself inside of you, he had eventually pulled his digits away from your lips and slumped against the stall door just as he pulled himself out of you.

“I have to go now,” you whispered and Leon looked at you, speechless, but you know he had so much to say, so, you kissed him. “Message me,” you said as you pulled on your clothes and left the stalls.

REFERENCE ONE

SOLIDER BOY

You thought Solider Boy was dead, so within this life of erratic circumstances occurring, having Ben’s face between your thighs was the last thing you had expected to happen.

You don’t know how long he has been on his knees, and you had lost the number of times he had made you cum, but whenever you’d move after you’d finish, he’d hold you down and use his tongue. Your pussy throbbed, eyes blurry, the capability to think or even remember your name had vanished.

You felt the texture of his tongue swirl around your clit again, and you cried out again, fingers locked around his hair as he took you in. He had looked at you, with those gorgeous green eyes of his, a smirk on his face as he watched the way you had jerked and shudder under his touch. His beard coated with your juices, Ben went deeper with his tongue, fucking you with it having you hold onto the thin lining of sanity you had left.

You were so glad the boys were gone, if Butcher had saw what you had been up to, he’d never let you hear the end of it. You had become close with him, and Ben didn’t like it. Didn’t like the lingering stares the two of you shared with each other and the soft touches, it drove him insane. He knew he couldn’t voice it, show his care, his weak-spot so quickly, so when you were assigned to look over him when the squad was gone, was when the door of Solider Boy’s arrogance opened.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” You cried in pleasure as you could feel yourself cum again, you had dropped against the table the moment he eventually pulled himself away from you. You had panted over and over again, aware of the noises of the zip of his trousers had been undone, you had looked up at him in question.

“The feeling of your tight little pussy around my tongue got me hot,” he smiled as he then pulled you to stand up. “You thought we were finished?” He teasingly questioned, quickly, he had brought one leg over his shoulder, eyes bore down into your as he levelled his cock against your opening.

“I missed you,” he muttered against your lips, and before you could say anything to him, he had kissed you, rough and deep as if he had wanted to consume you. “You thought,” he kissed as he slid himself inside of you, and as kickback as moan from the back of your throat slipped out. “That I wouldn’t be able to tell baby?”

With doe eyes, you had looked at him, breathless to speak. “That I wouldn’t be able to tell he fucks you? Huh?” He rambled, his next words more obsessive and intense than the last. You couldn’t help but feel your cunt throb at the sound of his possessiveness. He was the biggest you had, and he knew how to use it.

You could feel the curve of his cock slip and lick the sensitive texture of your pussy, so you had bit your lip, your heat sensitive from the previous climaxes, your area had begun to throb around him. Your cunt tight as he continued to break through you, reaching deeper than no one else had, and you had whined. Whined at his roughness, his size and his dirty words. “No one fucks you like I do,” he continued, his obsessive rants hot against your ear as he continued to fuck you like the beast he was.

“Fuck!” He growled as he continued to jerk his cock inside of you, he had looked into the ceiling, his movements faster as his shaft throbbed inside of you, his hotness spilling inside of you, filling you up and painting your walls white with his cum, his last pushes aggressive as he encouraged you to release around him, arrogant that he had marked you as his again, Ben held you tight against him, petted kisses against the sharpness of your jaw once the both of you had finished.

REFERENCE ONE

REFERENCE TWO

REFERENCE THREE

REFERENCE FOUR

masterlist

song the post was based on

[marksbear2]

Hey, i didnt know you were back, your writinf is one of my favs!!!!!

Can i request soldier boy x top male reader smut headcanons? Please

Hey and yes I absolutely love Soldier boy so I’m happy to write this. It’ll be no problem.

SOLDIER BOY X TOP MALE READER

⚠️Warnings- degrading kink, lowkey a power bottom Ben, rough, face fuck, blowjobs, edging, multiple rounds. Freaky headcanons. ⚠️

— He gave you a dirty look when you first suggested finally having sex. Even more when you told him that he’s gonna be the one getting fucked.

— He squirms and move around a lot whenever your peppering him with his finger. 

— He won’t like having to prep and stretch himself. Always bring up how girls and how their pussies work and how it’ll be faster and feel better.

— He tries not to moan loud or make any noise of pleasure since he so called “Doesn’t like it.” 

— The first time you two were about to do it after prepping he tapped out, he couldn’t imagine having another man’s dick in his ass. So right when things were getting hot and heavy he tapped out and left.

— After the next few times you got him and got inside of him before he could tap out. He’d let out deep groans and squeeze his teeth together.

— He’s pretty vulgar, while other men would be moaning or whining. Solider boy would the type of man to taunt and insult you. “Is that the best you got?” “I fuck people better then is.” He’s pretty degrading and gets off on that when seeing you even more upset.

— He’s into jerking off together, he’d jerk off your cock while whisper the most mean and rude words in your ear before a small bit of praise.

— He’s not too big of being over affectionate during sex. He sees sex as sex and not some damn romantic night with your love one.

— Loves it when you grunt or whisper into his ear. Doesn’t matter what your saying how loud your groaning in his ear. He fucking loves it.

— He also loves surprises, waking up with a dick thrusting in and out of him would put him in a great mood for the rest of the day. 

— He likes the feeling of your mouth searching for his tongue and while you two makeout your fucking hard into him.

— His favorite position is missionary or any position when he can see your face in it. He’d be the type of guy to have immense eye contact without breaking or moving away while you fuck him. 

— He wants your eyes to be locked while he degrades and praise you.

— He’d be bad at giving head first but when he gets into the rhythm and knows a thing or two his mouth would be busy with your cock all day.

— Titty fucking with him, he would press his chest together while your cock moving in between his chest. 

— He always make it his goal to make you cum faster than the last type in his mouth. He can suppress his gag reflex pretty well so while you face fuck him he would stare up at your eyes not breaking eye contact for a second.

— He wants your cum on his face, he suck and your dick to the point that your getting all sensitive while he’s just eager to have your cum on his face.

— He wants it rough all night long. He doesn’t care for gentle shit. Sometimes he’ll treat you like is own personal human dildo.

— Very into edging, one of his biggest kinks.

— Once he cums a few times he’d make you pull out and he’ll go about his day as if he didn’t leave you with a hard uncummed cock.

— He let out the sharpest gasp when the first time your dick hit his prostate. He would stare down at your hips watching you fuck him as he let out heavy moans and breaths.

— Always threatened you when your close to cumming, he doesn’t want you to cum anywhere inside of him.

— But one day when it was to late to pull out and you came deep inside him. His legs immediately tensed as his head went back. His foreign from the feeling of cum inside him.

— You kept fucking him thrusting though he was full of cum. 

— Eventually it’d be his favorite thing. He wants your cum inside of him though sometimes he acts like he doesn’t. 

— Whenever you pull out he’ll stare at the cum leaking out of his hole and down onto the sheets. It’ll be hot for him so he’s turned l again ready for the next round.

— He wants you to be rough with him no limits. Choke him or manhandle him do whatever he fucking loves it all.

— He’s inpatient, sometimes he doesn’t want to wait until you guys are in the bedroom or anything. So there’s numerous times that you guys end up fucking on the living or hallway floor of the house and sometimes on the table. 

— He has stamina for HOURS and he’s needy. He’d would be focus on his pleasure then get to yours after a few rounds. 

— No matter how good you fuck him, he’ll still be an asshole, but if he actually hurt your feelings he’ll cheer you up by letting you fuck his throat.

The end

[jays-bonnie-on-the-side]

GOLDEN HOUR

PAIRING : jensen ackles x actress!reader

SUMMARY : jensen admits his adoration for reader during an interview at the boys season 3 premiere in paris. karen, who already knows of reader’s infatuation with jensen, overhears and plays matchmaker. and you two couldn’t be more grateful.

WARNINGS : age gap. strong language. crushes. flirting. love. lust. cheating. mentions of previous cheating. smut. unprotected p in v. rough sex. semi-public sex. creampie. praise kink. size kink. breeding kink.

A/N : this is my first jensen oneshot—yay! got the inspo from all the pics and videos from the paris premiere and he just looked scrum-deli-um-ptious. imo jensen deserves more attention from this premiere and i’m here to give it! i also made the two pictures to the right and i’m semi-proud of them, please don’t hate if they suck. hope y’all enjoy this!

Jensen stands in front of 'The Boys Prime Video' backdrop, posing for the countless cameras before him. He was solo, his wife choosing once again not to accompany him. The flashes would've blinded him if it weren’t for his sunglasses. It was his first time being in Paris for work, and he was ecstatic. He went from one backdrop to the next, making his way down the line.

His smile was wide and bright, fueled by nerves and excitement. Like a pro, he jumped from one news outlet to another. Jensen was enjoying the love the show was receiving, and he was thrilled to be a part of it. With each interview, he felt more confident and comfortable in his skin. It had been a while since his last premiere, and if he was being honest, he missed the attention.

"So, Jensen, how was it working with a new cast?" The interviewer asks before turning the microphone toward the star.

"You know, i-it's always nerve-wracking being the new guy. I starred on Supernatural for the last 15 years, so it's been a while since I've been 'the new guy' on a show. Everyone's been here since season one, and now Grandpa’s coming in!” He jokes, making the French man laugh. “No, but uh, everyone’s been incredibly welcoming, both cast and crew. I think they're all wonderful. There was never a dull moment, that’s for sure. We had a lot of fun."

"Is there any actor or actress you would've liked to work with this season?"

"Are you referring to actors in previous seasons or in general?"

"Anyone. Anyone in the world, who would you choose?"

Jensen's smile grows, and without hesitation, he answers, "Y/N Y/L/N."

"Ooo. Y/N Y/L/N, great choice. ‘Great actrice."

"The best! She’s extremely talented." He couldn't help but gush once he began speaking about you. "Her range is beyond anything I’ve ever seen. She can act in every genre, and what’s great about this show is that it pushes you out of your comfort zone, and I think she would have handled it like a boss. And I, for one, would have loved to see her in action. Not only does she have the skills, but I’ve watched interviews and promotions she's been a part of, and she's just—she's so hilarious and so sweet. I think she would've fit in perfectly."

The interviewer cocks an eyebrow and slyly accuses, "Sounds like you have a crush on Ms. Y/L/N."

"I mean...who doesn’t?" Jensen confesses. He had a major crush on you, and as silly as it was for a 43-year-old married man to have, he wasn’t ashamed. He chuckles, trying to suppress the blush from rising to his cheeks just thinking about you. "No, no. I, uh, I'm a huge fan of hers. I think she's incredible. I respect her work and her as a person. I'd be thrilled if I ever got the opportunity to work with—let alone meet her."

"Well, it's rumored she'll be ‘ere tonight."

Jay's eyes widen, and his smile falls. He wasn't expecting to hear that. He quickly skims through his brain, trying to remember if he saw any mention of you attending tonight’s premiere via your Instagram. No, he would’ve remembered. He would’ve been searching all over if you announced your attendance. His heart begins to race at the thought of seeing you tonight. Suddenly, he felt as if all eyes were on him. He forces a smile and tries to act aloof.

"Really? Well, I, uh, well, that's—wow. That's awesome." But his attempt fails. He was a stuttering mess. “Hope she enjoys the premiere.”

The man laughs, amused by Jensen's reaction. It was indeed true; You would be in the audience. He finishes his last few questions before moving on, trying not to let the possibility of seeing you distract him too much. Little did he know Karen Fukuhara heard everything. She smiles to herself and carries on with her interview.

The cast had left the blue “red” carpet and moved into the venue. Their teams escort them to a designated room where they wait for the audience to fill Le Grand Rex. Jensen talks with a few people near him before keeping to himself as his nerves climb. And not for the reason everyone thought. Is it true? Would Y/N be here? Would I be lucky enough to see her in the crowd? Questions flood his mind, keeping him occupied until Karen pulls him from his thoughts.

"Is it true?"

Jensen glances at his costar, furrowing his brows in confusion. "Is what true?"

“What you said about Y/N.”

“W-what? What are you talking about?” He tries to play it off, hoping to avoid the conversation.

“Oh, please. I overheard your interview. You like her!” She quietly accuses.

Blush rushes to his bearded cheeks. "’Course. She’s a great actress."

Karen shakes her head. "No, I mean like her like her."

Jensen rolls his eyes, trying to draw the attention away from the implication. "What are we in middle school?"

She giggles, then admits, "Well, she likes you too. Hell, she's obsessed with you! I swear half our conversations about this season revolved around you."

"Wait—you’ve talked about me?"

“More like her bringing you up every chance she got? Yeah, we’ve talked about you.”

He was stunned. Sure, he’d seen your interviews where you raved about your favorite show, Supernatural, and how in love you were with Dean, but he figured that was the extent of your adoration. He thought back to all the praise you gave to the show and the actors themselves, wishing he could’ve DMed you his appreciation but instead sparing himself an argument with his nosy wife, well aware his accounts weren’t safe from her. Maybe if he ran into you, he could vocalize his gratitude. He knew how much trouble he was getting into, especially after that interview but learning that you mirrored his infatuation made it worth it.

"You talking about Y/N's crush on Jensen?" Tomer joins.

Ackles's jaw drops from the shock of his other co-star's knowledge, too. He shakes his head, not believing the news. "You guys are screwing with me, right?"

"No."

"Not at all."

His mind begins to wander. What should he do with this information? Was this a sign to act on it? Would you even let him? Tomer watches as Jay's mind turns.

He smirks, only imagining what his friend was thinking. “Don’t forget that you’re married, my friend.”

“Tell that to my wife,” Jensen mutters under his breath, but loud enough, they hear.

Before they can question or comfort their friend, a crew member enters the room and takes Kripke, telling everyone else to “get ready.” Jay was so preoccupied with the thought of you that he hadn’t found the time to realize he would soon be facing a crowd of a thousand faces. His once confident demeanor had vanished. The thought of you liking Jensen should've given him that boost; However, between his starstruck state and the sea of fans, he was a nervous wreck.

The next thing he knows, they’re being ushered toward the front entrance of the auditorium and waiting to be introduced. His heart pounds, and he pushes you out of his mind. Suddenly, the doors open, and one by one, they walk down the aisle as Eric calls out their names in order, and fans scream over the speakers. Jensen was last in line, grateful he wasn’t first. At the steps, he’s handed a microphone and noticing Claudia’s lack of one, takes hers too. He graciously hands it to her as he takes the stage, immediately feeling the bright light beating down on him.

He smiles, interacting when necessary, and when the light allows him to, he scans the audience. He was in awe of the premiere’s turnout. Yet nothing prepares him when his eyes find yours. You’re in the front row, on his side of the theater of all places! His smile’s wide, heart thumping against his ribcage. You bite your lip as your eyes look him up and down, taking in the delicious sight. Seeing your not-so-subtle action, he winks at you.

Your heart, amongst other areas of your body, flutter. With your lips parted, you dramatically fan yourself, earning a smile from your celebrity crush. Jay glances elsewhere but can’t help the return of his eyes. You smile lovingly, overjoyed that he pays as much attention to you as you do to him. In all honesty, you hadn’t listened to the panel. You’re so captivated by his charming smile—hell, even the tiniest of movements, that you miss your friend’s answers.

Usually, you’d feel guilty, but not when it involves the love of your life as the center of your attention. You don’t even realize that the interview ends until everyone claps, snapping you out of your trance. Your hands join the applause before the stars step down the stairs to their reserved seating. The lights dim, and the first episode of the season begins.

The premiere ends, and the after-party begins. You couldn’t get Jensen out of your mind—as if it were different from any other day of your life. But this time, it is. This time, you have the opportunity to speak to him. Just thinking of it fills you with nerves. Would you actually talk to him? Would he even talk back? Your mind begins to race with questions until you conclude that you’d at least have a conversation with the man of your dreams. Who could that hurt?

You were so excited to see him. The longer you wait, the more anxious you become. The anticipation of seeing him again is all you can think about, even when you distract yourself by talking to others. Your eyes dart toward the door of Le Rex Club, and as if you have a sixth sense, the cast members walk in. Their presence elicited a roar across the guests, hooting and clapping for the stars. And that’s when you see him, walking in last once again.

With a grin, he scans the energetic crowd, refusing to admit he was looking for you. Finally, he finds your pretty eyes, and the room suddenly becomes empty. You were the only one he could see and the only one he wanted to. If it weren’t for others physically grabbing his attention, he would’ve made a beeline straight towards you. As he speaks with a few producers, Karen finds and gives you the warmest hug.

“Hey!”

“Hey! Congratulations! You were AMAZING.”

You pull away but stay close as the crowd grows louder. “Really? You think so?”

“Of course! Not many people can play a character without any lines,” you nudge her arm playfully. “That’s talent.”

“Awe, thank you, Y/N. That means so much.”

Jack comes over to greet you, pulling you into a side hug before introducing you to his girlfriend. Claudia wears the biggest smile on her face as she shakes your hand. Her giddiness was lost on you, but her confession of being “a huge fan” struck clarity. Fame was something you tried to forget. Sure, you loved acting, but it came with a price, and it wasn’t always an equal trade. Despite being in the spotlight, you refused to let it change who you are.

After some small talk, they left to mingle with others, leaving you alone with Karen. When she sees your eyes linger on Jensen, she smirks to herself.

“Do you need a napkin?”

“Huh? For what?”

“To wipe that drool off your lip,” She points to the corner of her mouth.

You swat her arm gently, but it doesn’t stop your blush. “Shut up! I am not drooling.”

“Might as well be. Could it be any more obvious that you want him?” She giggles.

“Please. He’s married.”

“Do you see his wife anywhere?”

Your eyes grow wide at your friend’s insinuation. You’ve known Karen for almost two years, and this was never something she’d condone. Ever. So why now? Why was this time different?

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She gets closer, speaking low enough for only your ears to hear. “No one knows this, but his wife cheats on him.” Your widened eyes grow wider as if it were possible. They wander to Jensen, and his eyes shift to yours. A smile brightens his handsome face, making you melt. How could anyone EVER cheat on him?! “She’s been doing it for years, and he pretends not to know.”

Directing your stare towards Karen, you demand, “How do you know all of this?”

“He got really drunk one night and confessed to me and a few other cast members,” She frowns with sorrow, then shakes her head, “He’s a great actor; He hides his pain well, but there’s days when we all see it.“

It would be a lie to say you were surprised. You’ve had your suspicions over the years, but there hadn’t been any solid evidence. The way they’d speak and act towards one another pointed to a deeper marital issue. Sure, some relationships were more teasing than others, i.e., the Reynolds. However, their body language suggests otherwise, and not what everyone excused it to be.

“And until today, I haven’t seen him interested in anyone else.”

You slowly nod, taking in the information. Despite the terrible news, you felt a rush of excitement from Karen's statement. Was it true? Was he interested in you? No, he couldn’t be.

“You’re lying. He isn’t—he can’t be.”

“Now, Y/N, why would I lie? And why’s it hard to believe?” She crosses her arms.

“I—I don’t know. He hasn’t even met me.”

“Well to be fair, you haven’t met him either.”

She got me there, you thought.

“God, Karen, what do I even say to him? “I love you, and I wanna have your babies. Please choose me, and we’ll raise our children as one big happy family.””

“Well, you better think of something quick ‘cause he’s coming over.” She hurriedly tells you before her eyes shift behind you. Plastering a huge smile on her face, she greets, “Hey, Jensen!”

“Hey!”

You turn around, and there he was, in all his glory. He was breathtaking. His perfectly trimmed beard complimented his gorgeously styled hair. You swallow hard as he stares down at you, a crooked smile on his beautiful face. Annnnddd cue the wetness.

“This is—“

“Y/N,” He extends his large hand, and you shake it, your skin tingling at his touch. “I’m a huge fan.”

Your eyes threaten to widen, but you force yourself to play it cool. With a smirk, you tease, “You took my line.”

He chuckles, then clears his throat, nodding. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

You lay your hand over your heart. “I’m a huge fan!”

“Feel better?”

“Much.”

You both stare into each other’s eyes, dazed and amazed.

“Well, I have to go. I‘ve gotta say hi to a few other people. I’ll catch up with you later, ‘kay?” She leans in and kisses your cheek. Before she pulls away, she whispers into your ear, “Get ‘em, tiger.”

Karen walks away, leaving you and Jensen alone. Your hearts race in the presence of one another.

“So, congrats on The Boys. Soldier Boy looks badass. ‘Can’t wait to see more of him.”

“Thanks. And trust me when I say you’ll definitely see more of him. More than I would’ve liked.“

“Oh?” You raise a brow, intrigued.

“Let’s just say I was exposed more in my 40s than I ever was at your age.”

Your eyes widen. “What? You have to tell me more!”

“Hey, man!” You and Jensen stare at the male who came over to disrupt. He grabs Jensen’s hand and pulls him into a bro hug. “Congratulations on Season 3. How’s it feel to be done shooting?”

“Uh, good, man. It was fun while it lasted, but I can’t wait for everyone to see it.”

“I heard you got traumatized on set.”

“Uh, yeah. ‘Shooting Herogasm.” Jensen looks toward you as he explains, “During an episode, there’s this massive orgy between supes and non-supes.”

“Ahh, I see.”

“That must’ve been something. I was just talking to Antony and—“

“That’s great, man. Listen, we’ll have to catch up another time. I was in the middle of a conversation.” Jay gestures your way.

“Oh, dude, my bad.” He shifts his attention to you, and his eyes widen. “Wait, you’re Y/N Y/L/N! Oh man, I’m a huge fan. Can I take a picture with y—“

“And we’re done.” Jensen pats the rude individual on the shoulder before turning him away. “Look, there’s Eric. Why don’t you talk to him.”

He lightly shoves the man in the direction of his boss, earning a grin from you. “Sicking him on Kripke?”

“I gotta get back at him somehow.”

“Right. For participating in Herogasm?”

He laughs, the crinkles around his eyes on display. “Not quite,” He shakes his head. Even in the dim lights, you can see his blush. “My, uh, ass is displayed for the world to see when I meet The Boys.”

Your heart pounds faster when you hear the news. I’m gonna see Jensen Ackles’s ass!

“You’re gonna break the internet.”

“Oh, God, don’t say that.” He groans.

“Trust me, I could’ve said a whole lot worse.”

“What? You have to tell me more!” He mocks.

“Shut up!”

You shove his bicep, but he doesn’t budge. He laughs with you, and your bodies gravitate closer. You realize your hand lingers on his muscle, and you can’t help but bite your lip. Even through his suit, you can feel how strong he is.

“Wow. You’re so toned.” He glances at your hand, and nervously, you remove it. “Sorry. They didn’t look that big in Supernatural.”

“I don’t know whether to be amazed or worried that you noticed the size difference of my arms.”

“No, I—I saw your Instagram post of you working out last year,“ And oh, how you watched that video on repeat. “I mean—I-I’m not a stalker or anything, I just—“

“I’m messing with you.” His deep chuckle rings in your ears as a blush rises to your already crimson cheeks. “But thanks. It’s nice to be complimented once in a while.”

“Don’t you get it at home?” It comes out of your mouth before you can stop it.

“Uh…not as much as I’d like.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

He shrugs, and a shimmer of sorrow crosses his face. As fast as it appears, it’s gone, and he changes the subject. “‘S fine. Anyway, there’s a story behind the muscles if you wanna hear.”

“‘Course!”

“Alright, so…”

You and Jensen began talking about anything and everything. The longer you conversed, the deeper you both fell in love with each other. You both clicked. It was natural. It was easy. It was meant to be. And anyone with half a brain could see it.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to you when your conversation was constantly being interrupted. Jensen had to remind himself he was here for work, not pleasure. Yet, he couldn’t pull himself away from you to mingle with others like he was supposed to. And you, well, you were here to support your friends, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t make a new one. Without knowing the information Karen gave you tonight, you would’ve been more than pleased to just be his friend. That’s all you could ask for. Putting his looks and talent aside, you fell in love with his personality. In this industry, you never know if someone likes you for what you do or who you are, and you hope you can prove to Jensen the latter.

“Y/N!” You both look in the direction in which your name came from. A woman waves at you eagerly. “Hi!”

“Do you know her?”

You smile and give a short wave back. “Not at all.”

“Why don’t we go somewhere more private?”

The multicolored lights dance on his expecting countenance. “Please.”

“C’mon,” Jay’s hand hovers over the small of your back as he guides you toward the exit. “I know the perfect place.”

“The view is incredible,” You breathe as you look out the watchtower, watching the sunset over the city. “So beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,”

Your heart skips a beat, and your breathing stops. Had you heard him right? Had he called you beautiful? You turn around, stunned at his words. Your lips twitch, unsure whether to smile or frown. He stares at you with those forest-green eyes, making you internally squirm under his gaze. The sun’s warm glow shines upon his handsome face, and you’re in awe.

Just what you needed: the golden hour making him look more desirable than he already is. Your mouth parts to speak, but your brain doesn’t know what to say. Jensen takes slow steps toward you, and your heart races. He halts in front of you, and he’s dangerously close. He brings his hand up to your bare arm and lightly traces upwards. His soft touch leaves a trail of goosebumps on your hot skin. His gaze lowers to your parted lips as his hand cups your check.

His thumb swipes your bottom lip as he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Your eyes widen, astonished by his question. “Y-you wanna kiss me?”

He chuckles. Resting his other hand on your lower back, he pulls your body to his. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to.”

His smile disappears as you gaze at him with your innocent eyes. You can’t trust your voice, so you nod instead. Despite your heels, you were still shorter than his tall figure. He moves his left hand behind your neck and leans forward. This was it, you thought. This is what you’ve longed for. And then it happens; his lips meet yours.

All of your nerves get thrown out the window as he kisses you. It was gentle yet firm. It wasn’t rushed or lustful. It was perfect. It was everything and more.

The kiss ends, but another quickly begins. You wrap your arms around Jensen’s neck, pulling him closer. He deepens the kiss, this time with a little more urgency. His beard pricks your face, but you ignore it as he bites your bottom lip. You open your mouth, and he takes the opportunity to shove his hot tongue inside. A moan erupts from your throat. You’d have been embarrassed if one hadn’t fallen from his, too.

Your tongues explore each other’s mouth, not bothering to fight for dominance. If it weren’t for your bodies forcing you away, you both would’ve forgotten you needed air. Your heart hammers against your ribcage while your chest rises and falls. Neither of you pulls away, your breaths mingling as your noses brush against one another. Despite both of your eyes being closed, you could feel the other’s grin.

After regaining your breath, you compliment, “God, that was so much better than I imagined.”

“Oh, so you’ve thought about us before?”

“I told you I was a huge fan.”

“And how far has the fantasy gone?”

“Let’s just say I’m an all-in kinda girl.” You purr against his mouth.

“Well, sweetheart, lucky for you, kissing isn’t the only thing I’m good at.” He utters, his gruff voice sending shivers down your spine.

“Oh, lucky me, huh? And what other skills are you holding out on?”

“Why don’t I show you instead?”

His hand runs past your exposed upper back until it reaches the curve of your ass. You press your thighs together, feeling your wetness soak your lace underwear. He gently squeezes your plump derrière before connecting your lips again. This time, they were pecks, and they left you craving more. However, your slightly-corrupt moral compass reminds you of the elephant in the room: his wife.

“Wait…” You press your hand to his chest, pushing him back gently.

He steps back, concern in his eyes. “What’s wrong? Am I going too fast for you?”

“No, no. That’s not it. I just—your wife. We talked about everything else but her.”

He sighs and adds more distance between you, shaking his head. “She…she doesn’t matter.”

You hesitate but confess, “Look, I know your wife cheated on you. It’s horrible, and I’m so sorry that happened. I can’t even imagine how you feel, and I sure as hell can’t understand how she could ever cheat on you. You’re everything and more! But I don’t want to be someone you use to get back at her. I know my worth, and as much as I love y—like you, I refuse to be someone you regret later.”

His eyes perk up, and his hands reach your arms, pulling you into his warm body. “You love me?”

“Jensen! I’m being serious!”

“So am I,” his eyes bore into yours. “Do you love me?”

“I’ve always loved you.”

His lips crash onto yours, and you’re swept off your feet. Without hesitation, you kiss him with as much passion as he gives you.

He pulls away, assuring you, “I would never use you, especially to settle a score with that witch. I know the arrangement she and I have is…complicated and untraditional, and that’s something I’m gonna take care of after tonight, but meeting you—being with you is something I’ll never regret. I love you more than words can describe. So let me prove to you how much I want you, how much I need you.”

His words touch your fragile heart. You weren’t expecting him to admit what he did. If you weren’t so horned up, you’d cry. He loves me, you mentally exclaim. And you’d be damned if you refused to consummate the love you felt for each other right here, right now. You glide your hand to the front of his suit and unbutton his jacket.

His light-hearted chuckle warms your soul. “I take that as a yes?”

“Take it as a ‘Hell, yes.’”

Without wasting a beat, his mouth smashes against yours. His lips are intoxicating, but you aren’t upset when he moves them to your neck. As if he’s kissed you there before, he instantly attaches to your sweet spot. Your eyes shut as he harshly sucks your skin. You whine as the stinging sensation physically hurts, but you love it anyway. His lips move lower, marking your neck in various places, his bread tickling your sensitive skin.

Your hands run up his chest, grasping the peaked lapels near his collarbone and pushing his suit past his broad shoulders. It drops to the ground before Jensen backs you up against the wall. Your polished fingertips unbutton his dress shirt before flattening your palms against his hot chest. They slowly slide down his abdomen and stop at the top of his pants. His large hand slips through your dress’s slit, straight to your ass.

A moan erupts from your throat as you feel his bulge press against your clit. The pool between your thighs threatens to overflow. As if he read your thoughts, his hand slides inside your panties. His fingers brush over your sensitive nub and through your soaked folds. Desperate for more, your body arches into his touch. He teases you, pulling away from your littered neck to watch your face scrunch in agony.

After enough torment, he pries your drenched underwear down your legs, and you kick them off. His fingertips run from your outer to your inner thighs, and your breath hitches once they circle your slick entrance. You reposition your hands, one on either side of his toned shoulders. Giving him room to work with, your stance widens. His lips wear a proud smirk, seeing and feeling how ready you are for him. Moving the front of your silk dress out of his way, he holds the material near your hip, and your heart races faster.

Finally, his finger slides into your warm cunt. You sigh in contentment, feeling his digit in your holiest of places. His hand moves slowly, enjoying third base. Small moans fall from your pretty lips as his speed gradually quickens. When he sees your baseline of comfort, he adds another finger, drawing a loud gasp from your agape mouth.

His two digits alone stretch you deliciously. He slows his pace so you can get used to his thick fingers, and you can’t help but whine. Your neediness grinds your hips against his hand, wanting more than girth. He took your not-so-subtle hint and gave you what you asked for. And in return, you were a moaning mess.

You never thought you’d get this far with him, that it would only happen in your dreams but never in reality. Yet, here you were, squirming beneath his touch, being absolutely violated by his unholy fingers. Your head falls back against the wall as he curls his digits, hitting your G-spot perfectly. The pit in your stomach tightens, and you realize it isn’t much longer before it uncoils. You bunch his black shirt in your hands once his thumb applies heavy pressure to your clit.

Your moans grew louder, and you couldn’t stop them. Jensen’s left-hand pounds your aching pussy without mercy, and you feel like you’re in Heaven. His knuckles harshly kiss between your thighs and you revel in the promise of bruises. You glance in between your bodies and watch his hand pump in and out of you. The pleasure had built fast, and you were losing yourself faster. Your walls clench around his thick fingers, feeling your orgasm approach quickly.

“Fuck, Jay, I’m gonna—”

And before you can finish your sentence, you finish all over his hand. You scream into his chest as your climax washes over you. He works you through your high, drawing another orgasm seconds after the first. Your legs give out from under you, and his strong arm wraps around your waist, holding you upright. His hand stills inside you, giving you a chance to catch your breath.

After a few minutes, you regain the strength and stand on your own. Jensen finally withdraws his hand from your dripping cunt. He brings it to his mouth, and you see your juices coat his wedding ring. It shouldn’t have turned you on as much as it did, but something about coming undone on the symbol of his and his wife’s “eternal love and commitment” made you feel wrong in the best ways. His lips wrap around his digits, sucking your cum clean.

“Mmm,” the handsome man hums. “You taste as good as you look.”

His words make your pussy throb, and all you want left is confined behind his designer pants. You smooth his shirt from where you wrinkled it before and swiftly relieve his restraints. He sighs in gratitude when you reach your hand inside his pants and gently rub his bulge.

“You gonna let me taste you now?”

“Maybe next time, sweetheart. Right now, I just wanna be hip deep inside your guts.”

With one hand, he lowers his pants and boxers enough to free his aching member. It was long and thick, more than you ever imagined. The tip was a suffocating red and glistening with pre-cum. Your mouth salivated at the delicious sight, jealous of your awaiting vagina. His hand touches the back of your thigh, sliding it toward the back of your knee before pulling it towards his hip. His unoccupied hand wraps around his cock and swipes the tip along your wet folds. He presses it against your bundle of nerves, eliciting a whimper from your impatient self.

Before you verbally hurry him, he shoves his member into your entrance. Your back arches off the wall, and you hiss in discomfort. He was bigger than he looked, and your body knew you’d be feeling him for days after. Your hands wrap around his neck, holding on as he attempts to fit his entire length in your small hole. It isn’t long before Jensen’s thrusts go deeper as your walls adapt to his size.

“Fuck, princess. You’re so tight.” He wraps his arm around your back, keeping you in place. “Not used to a man this size, are you?”

“N-no.”

“That’s gonna change. You’re mine now, sweetheart. And I ain’t never letting you go.”

Your dominant hand grabs his hair, running your fingers through it before tugging at the long ends, not giving two fucks if it messes up the style. The pain quickly turns into pleasure, and your moans reflect it. His rhythm was hard and fast, just how you needed it. The squelching noise from his dick slapping against your wet pussy joined your unholy moans. The sounds fill the air, and neither of you cares who hears. Danneel herself couldn’t stop you two.

His lips attack the area where your shoulder and neck meet, sucking, licking, and biting. You fight to keep your right leg wrapped around his waist, but the pleasure between your legs is becoming too much to handle, making it feel heavy. With every ‘bottoms out’ thrust, he bruises your cervix, and you feel like you're gonna die the most blissful death. The familiar coil in your belly returns, and you continue your shouts of praise. His drive gets sloppy, and you know he’s as close as you.

“Cum in me,” you choke out. “I wanna have the honor of your babies.”

Part of you was scared after you uttered your confession. You knew Jensen was done having kids. Yet the other part didn’t care: You wanted his seed. You craved it.

And you were shocked at his response, “Sweetheart, the honor will be all mine.”

That was all you needed to hear before you gushed on his hard dick. He follows immediately after you, spraying his promise inside its new home for the next 9 months. Your leg slides off his hip, and he leans against you. A layer of sweat coats your entangled bodies, proof of the vigorous love you made. Your panting mixes with his as you each come down from your highs.

Your mind swirls, overcome with ecstasy. You just had sex with Jensen, and Jensen just had sex with you. Not only did you each have sex with your crush, but it was the BEST sex you’ve ever had. He slowly pulls out, and you whimper from the loss. The instant his cock leaves you, your mixed juices drip down your leg.

You press your thighs together, refusing to let any more escape. Jay lets go of you and tucks himself back in before kneeling. Your hooded eyes gaze after him. He grabs your discarded underwear and slides it up your shaky legs. The fabric works as a dam, for now, at least. He turns around and pulls his suit jacket over, grabbing the grey handkerchief from its pocket. You move your gown away, allowing him to clean up the excess cum from your skin.

“Thank you,” You breathe.

He stands, taking you in his arms before giving you a small kiss on your temple. “Of course, princess.”

“I don’t want to go back,” You admit as you button his dress shirt.

“So let’s go to my hotel room instead.”

“Really?” Your face perks up before furrowing with concern. “But don’t you have to be here? It’s your premiere, after all.”

“I’d rather take this party somewhere more private. And besides, I’m sure they’re all too drunk to notice I’m not there.”

You giggle at his silly remark before capturing his lips with your own. “Lead the way.”

JENSEN ACKLES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | JOIN THE TAG LIST

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[thewritersaddictions]

Day Fourteen: Soldier Boy + Voyeurism

Ben has had his eyes on a new toy to add to your playtime. He thinks he's found it when the two of you venture down to a club one night.

She’s beautiful, and Ben can see it in the way you watch her dance around the silver pole. You lick your lips as you watch her twirl around. Thick thighs, the pudge over the edge of the thigh high stocking she's wearing. Her face covered in bright almost glow in the dark make-up. Thick red lips that draw everyones attention.

The girl who was dancing around that shiny silver pole now has her face between you opened thighs. Lapping at your cunt with ease as she kicks her feet back and forth laying on her stomach.

You can see Ben from the corner of your eye. His devilish smile as he rubs the palm of his hand over his hard cock in his boxers. How the three of you managed to make it back to your shared apartment doesn't really matter.

All that matters now is the way this girl whos name you have forgetten is licking at your cunt. "Fuck!, Don't stop!" You mutter, you moans breathy as your hands search for her hair to tug onto.

She hums into your cunt, sucking at your clit. You lift your head as you look up towards your boyfriend. Bens cock is now out of its boxers.

The head of his cock is red and angry. A drop of pre-cum beading at the head. His hand bobs with ease as he rubs his angry cock. Legs opened wide as he tries to keep his breathing steady.

Your eyes shift back to the girl between your legs, when her tongue drifts down to your leaking hole. And when she sticks her tongue in you can't help but moan at the sensation. Her nose hitting your sensative clit as she thursts her tongue into your cunt.

Then you hear Ben from the corner of the room. "Fuck yeah, darling. She loves when you fuck her good with your tongue. She's such a sensative little thing." Your moans are falling from your lips and your hands squeeze the hairs of the girl bettwen your legs.

Your orgasm is close you can feel the way your stoamch aches, the way your legs shake with anticpation, and finally the way your toes are curling. "FUCK! I'm gonna…" Your voice goes out with a shirek. Your legs squeeze the womens head between your thighs as continues to assult your cunt.

"Fuck I don't like sharing, but you two are fucking beautiful." You hear Ben as the floor creaks and when you open your eyes you see him standing behind the women. Cock red, hot and angry wanting to fuck something. He grabs the women by the hips flipping her so she's on her back. Head resting between your thighs.

Her legs open wide allowing for the large stance that Ben has to slot in. "Fuck makin' a goddamn mess on my nice fucking sheets darling." Your lift yourself up onto your elbows, seeing the way the girl takes in Ben large cock now standing at attention.

"You're gonna fuck her and now me Ben?" You complain. "Listen babygirl. I'll fuck you in just a moment, don't be a brat." He mutters as he enters the womens cunt. The sounds bounce around the room, skin slapping wet noises that have your biting at your bottom lip.

You don't like not being apart of the fun. So you pull yourself up, reaching for Ben lips as your hover your cunt over the women face. You may be senstive but you want to kiss your boyfriend. One hand on the women hip and the other on your cheek as your kiss takes the life from you, and when you feel the womens hands on both your hips and the cold tongue back lapping at your leaking cunt.

Well everything just feels right. You moan into Bens kiss as his hand comes around your throat. "Fuck you taste so good." The women mutters into your cunt. "Such a brat, can't let me just have a good fuck without wanting a part of the girl too." Ben says quietly into your kiss. You moan and nod your head. "Don't forget Ben I'm your brat."

Completed on: 10/13/24

Posted on: 10/19/24 (10/14/24)

Kinktober 24'-

[mjolnirswriststrap]

Mjolnir’s Masterlist

🐻=fluff 🔪=angst 💚=smut 18+ ✔️=finished

Bucky Barnes

• Love In The Dark 🔪✔️

• Texture 💚✔️

• Scared 🔪💚✔️

• Silver Bullet 🔪💚

-Pt. One

• You’re The Reason I Smoke 🔪✔️

-Pt. One, Two

• Trying To Derail My One Track Mind 🔪💚✔️

-Pt. One, Two

• Just Another Notch 🐻🔪💚

-Pt. One, Two, Three, Four, Five

• Haunted 🐻🔪

-Pt. One, Two, Three, Four, Five

• Christmas Countdown Request 🐻✔️

• It Was Never Gonna Happen, Doll | X-Men Au 🐻🔪💚 (coming soon)

Natasha Romanoff

• Executioner | Renaissance AU 💚✔️

Yelena Belova

• Pickpocket 🐻✔️

Clint Barton

• Christmas Countdown Request 🐻✔️

Logan Howelett

• It Was Never Gonna Happen, Doll 🐻🔪💚 (coming soon)

Multicharacter

• I Know You Liked It Steve/Loki🔪💚 ✔️

• Not My Type Part 2 Bucky/Steve 🔪✔️

• Video Games Bucky/Steve 🔪💚

• The Neon Martini Wanda/Nat 🐻🔪💚

• Dumb Viking Thor Thor/Steve 🔪

Rafe Cameron

• Home 🔪💚

- Pt. One

Aegon Targaryen II

• Aegon’s Shadow 🐻🔪 (on hold)

-Ch. One, Two, Three, Four

Daemon Targaryen

• Christmas Countdown Request 🔪✔️

• Christmas Countdown Request 🐻 ✔️

Homelander

• Super Hearing ✔️

[tonixe]

THE BOYS

Valentine’sDayDrabbles/Headcanons. - Homelander, Soldier Boy, Black Noir

MySolider - Soldier boy x reader

Morality- Homelander x reader

Myprerogative- Homelander x reader

Myprerogative pt2 - Homelander x reader

“Christmas Magic" - Homelander x reader

Dolor - Black Noir x reader

Country girl - firecracker x reader

[eclecticqueennerd]

Why Me?

Soldier Boy x reader

*language, mentions of smex, self-doubt/ insecure reader. fluff, comfort*

Anyone can see that Ben is a very attractive man and could easily bag any woman he wants. He’s told you about his past with hot celebrities and other supes, how good of a fuck they were. Which made you question, why did he choose you? You try to not dwell on it, however, that question still lingers in the back of your mind most days. It isn’t until one day Ben comes home early from a mission and finds you on the couch crying.

“What’s wrong doll?” Ben sits down next to you. You turn to him and ask why he’s with you.

“There are other attractive women in the world why the hell would you choose someone like me? I’m nothing like them.” Ben seems taken back by your question. After a few moments to silence, Ben speaks,

“You think I give two shits about those broads? They’re just looking for a quick fuck but once they realize how fucked up I am they’ll get the hell outta dodge. You stayed with me after finding out all the shit I’ve done. You patched me up after fights and you brought me back to earth when I was about to go nuclear. My father, teachers, bosses, they all treated me like shit, said I wouldn’t amount to nothin. Thought I had a sure thing with the Countess, but she was only using me. You were the only one who believed that I could do something good and that I was worth somethin. You made me feel like I matter and not some pawn in somebody’s fucked up game. You saved me from myself. You showed me all this through your kindness, understanding, and patience. You say you’re nothin like those other women? You’re right, you’re not. You’re better. You may not look like them, but fucking hell are you one dynamite gal, inside and out. So, I don’t wanna hear you talk like that again, you hear me?”

You nod your head in agreement, tears streaming down your face at Ben’s declaration. Ben lets out a sigh and reaches to pull you into his lap.

“I know I’m not an emotional guy, it’s just how I was raised. I just want you to know that I love you and will always love you. You mean the world to me y/n, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner.” Ben whispers into the shell of your ear. You look at him and he returns your gaze. His eyes, filled with so much love and vulnerability, only reserved for you. “Now come on, let me show you how much I love you.” Ben then lifts you up and takes you into the bedroom.

*credit for the prompt goes to @randalourita who has a great list of prompts for drabbles. Thank you!

[ketchupjasmin]

Hiiii, I know I haven't been posting that much on Tumblr but I just wanna say Happy Valentines day to every Soldier Boy fangirls out there :)) :3

[fandomtherapy44]

YOU GUYS ITS HAPPENING!

I’ve always said that payback seemed way more interesting than the seven! And we’re about get so much more solider boy! Thank God for Jensen Ackles! 💜

[pickledpascal]

Killer Queen

Chapter Three: Sweet Emotion

Warnings: smut for sure brother, penetrative sex, collars, BDSM elements, slurs, ben likes it rough i guess

Word Count: 3.8k

Killer Queen Masterlist

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Eventually, Eden was able to coax Amber and Soldier Boy out of their room to have something for dinner. Well, she mostly wanted to get Amber to eat, Soldier Boy was… a change, that's for sure. Something about him when Eden was in school or, hell, even when she grew up, she thought he'd be shorter. The boots had to give him an extra inch or two so they lied about his height. But they didn't. Soldier Boy was a six-foot-two all-American man. Eden always thought he'd be five-eight. 

Amber grabbed a few slices of the pizza Eden provided and stuffed a piece in her mouth. On the other hand, Eden kept staring at Soldier Boy. Nervous wasn't the right word, no, more like she was sizing him up. She knew she likely couldn't take him in a fight, even if she was a Supe, but she would probably be able to do something that made him suffer. 

“Who's that?” Ryan said when he came out of his room. He was looking up at Soldier Boy. Butcher was one of the only other men who had ever entered the house.

Soldier Boy glanced down at the kid and narrowed his eyes a bit. Why the hell did he look so much like him? He kept his mouth shut, opting to follow Amber's rules. For now. So he ate. 

Eden answered, “He's gonna be staying with us for a little while, kiddo. He's, uh,” She didn't want to lie. Ryan was a smart kid and he'd likely figure out why he was here in the long run but she also didn't want to say Soldier Boy was going to kill his dad. “He's one of Amber's special friends.” 

“Oh.” Ryan recoiled at the comment. 

Soldier Boy cocked an eyebrow at Amber. “He doesn't know what a f–”

“Shut the hell up.” Amber cut him off, gaze hardening. 

Once dinner was done and Ryan was away from Soldier Boy—Eden immediately decided they couldn't be together for more than fifteen minutes since Ryan would likely learn something he wasn't supposed to at ten. 

“So who the fuck are you?” Soldier Boy turned to Eden, lips pursed into a thin line that showed his dimples. A sign he was discontented. 

Eden looked at him unimpressed. “The smartest person in any room.” She shrugged. She liked to brag as humbly as possible. She wished Amber would do it more or else people wouldn't test her as much as they did. 

Soldier Boy scoffed, “You're a woman.” 

“And you don't know what an OnlyFans is so who's really winning here?” Eden countered with a lop-sided smile.

Soldier Boy tilted his head, glancing at Amber for an answer. She didn't give him one. 

“Do you think if we can get Homelander, Butcher will let us psychologically torture him? We’ll let him kill him afterward. Or, we could all bitch him together.” Eden suggested, an excited glint in her eyes before she glanced back at Soldier Boy. “Sorry your son turned into such a fucking bitch, by the way–”

Soldier Boy’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, what the fuck does she mean?” He'd seen pictures of Homelander, pictures of him were plastered almost everywhere.

Amber glared at Eden. She was glad Ryan wasn't here for this. Especially considering his grandpa had quite the mouth on him. 

She and Eden knew of this after Eden hacked into Vought. Partly for fun, partly for work. They just so happened to come across a file about Homelander and his origins. And how Soldier Boy, by artificial insemination, was his father. Immediately after finding out the information, Eden blamed that on why Homelander was so horrible. Amber didn't know all of the details of Soldier Boy’s life but she didn't think that was the case. The file also included all the American propaganda Homelander was forced to watch as a child. 

A boy who grew up only watching American propaganda was going to fuck him up somehow. 

“You remember when Vougelbaum called you into your lab? It was 1980. Some sort of genetic test,” Recognition dawned in Soldier Boy’s face as he leaned back into the couch he sat on. “He was born in 1981. And part of the reason Payback did what they did. So he could take the spotlight once he was older.” Amber explained softly. She had a feeling it would be jarring for anyone to find out they had a secret child, no matter if they were a fascist piece of shit. 

Soldier Boy’s lips drew back into a snarl as he tried to choke down his emotions. Amber, he was fine with crying in front of, but Eden? Fuck that. He didn't need other people to know he was weak. 

He had a son. A fucking child. And he wasn't there like he wished he would. Anger rose in his chest. Soldier Boy abruptly stood and Amber could feel the air in the room shifting. She didn't have a radiation counter on her but she could tell, if she did, it would be skyrocketing. 

Amber lifted a hand to try and calm Soldier Boy which he slapped away. “Shut the fuck up and don't say you understand. You fucking don't. You don't even have the fucking parts to have a kid, you tranny bitch.” He spat, chest heaving. 

Eden's eyes widened, looking between the two of them. Even most bigot fucks Amber came across, they didn't say it to her face. Amber's stare turned cold. Any sympathy she had for him was flushed down the drain. 

“Yeah, uh… I'm gonna take Ryan downstairs.” Eden excused herself. The basement was soundproof for the most part. And built like a fortress. She was glad she decided to make it out of metal. Sound didn't travel that well through it. 

Soldier Boy let out a sharp breath from his nose as he stared at Amber. There was a small part of him that regretted what he said but he was too prideful to go back on it. A muscle in his jaw tightened while his nose turned into a sneer. 

Amber wasn't intimidated by whatever tactics Soldier Boy was trying to use. “You think you're strong? That you scare me? Not more than an hour ago you were gagging on my dick. Some small part—or, hell, big part—of you is scared you like me,” The air in the room was tense, the radiation rising when she hit a little too close to home. “But another part,” She stepped closer, causing Soldier Boy to step away. “Is excited by that. You're not the most powerful in the room anymore. Maybe that way you'll be a little normal for once.” 

“Fuck you, you don't know shit about me.” Soldier Boy’s shoulders were rigid as he tried to stand his ground. 

Amber cocked a doubtful eyebrow at him, a smirk on her lips. “Uh-huh. I know for the past few seconds, your eyes have been on my dick,” Soldier Boy’s lip quivered with his anger but he made no move to deny it. “What Eden failed to mention is that Ryan is your grandson.”

Blinking, Soldier Boy's shoulders slumped. His jaw unclenched as he drew in a sharp breath. “He's—”

“Homelander’s son. The reason why he's here. Homelander wants to make Ryan like him,” Amber explained softly. Maybe she did have a little bit of sympathy for Ben. A shred. But it could easily be snuffed out and replaced with that white-hot feeling from earlier. “This could be your chance to be a father like you wanted. And, maybe, he could be better. Not like you or him.”

Soldier Boy dropped onto the couch, frame creaking underneath his weight. His whole world was shattered and put back together again in a matter of a few minutes. How could he have failed Homelander so badly? Hell, he would've let him take the spotlight. What kind of father wouldn't? He bit his cheek. Ryan wasn't his and he never would be. Sure, they were related but it was different. He'd know it would be different. 

But Ryan was so young. A whole life ahead of him. Soldier Boy pushed his hands through his hair, tears stung the edges of his eyes. He wanted kids. For selfish reasons. As a big fuck you to his father that he could do better than him. 

“Does he know?” Soldier Boy looked up at Amber, hands falling in his lap.

Amber shook her head. “No. I mean, Ryan knows who his father is. Not that you're his grandpa. And Homelander, as far as I know, doesn't know about you.” She sat next to him. 

“God fucking hell.” Soldier Boy sighed. Why did this feel a hell of a lot more messed up than anything he'd ever done before? He'd be stealing his son’s son away from him. Perhaps for good reason. “You–You’re—” A part of him really wanted to yell at Amber, accuse her of turning him against his own kin, but he had a feeling Homelander committed far worse atrocities than he did. At an even larger scale. 

Soldier Boy ran a hand down his face. “Ryan—he’s a good kid?” He asked after a while. 

“Yeah,” Amber hummed softly. Besides a few times of him slicing open the roof with his laser eyes or hugging Eden a little too tight, it was sunshine and rainbows. Eden was durable enough not to get immediately crushed. “I think he looks a lot more like you than Homelander anyway. Especially with that fucking box-dye. I mean, if you're gonna be the epitome of ‘blonde and blue-eyed,’ at least make sure it looks good before you base your entire personality on it.” 

Soldier Boy let out a small breath. A laugh. Even though he didn't understand half the words that came out of Amber's mouth, he knew the point she was trying to make. Homelander was an artificial fuck. Quite literally. He and Homelander's surrogate never even touched, he just sent his seed to Vougelbaum and never thought about it again. Whoever she was, they would've had a good night if they did it the proper way. Or Soldier Boy would've broken her. 

Amber hooked a finger under Soldier Boy's chin and tilted his head so he looked at her. “You remember that deal we made?” Her eyes flicked from his lips to his eyes. Soldier Boy’s breath hitched. “You called me something bad. Which means…” She intentionally trailed off. 

“Consequences.” Soldier Boy finished for her with dilated pupils. 

Amber winked, “Bingo.” 

After a scramble to get upstairs, Amber's door was locked behind her while she and Soldier Boy were inside her bedroom. He breathed heavily while she appeared calm. Way too calm. It was unsettling. Something about it made Soldier Boy’s pulse hasten. With dread or something else, he wasn't sure he'd want to admit.

“Turn around and strip.” Amber instructed with a smile. 

Soldier Boy wanted to ask why he'd need to turn around but the words were caught in his throat. He complied, taking off his Dodgers jersey and sweatpants along with his boxers. He heard a scraping of a drawer opening and closing. And then a light ding of a bell. He flinched as he felt his neck constricted. Soldier Boy glanced down and caught sight of the small jingle bell on his neck. Connected to a leather collar. 

Avery pressed a kiss to Ben's jaw and hummed as she stood behind him. “On the bed for me, hands and knees.” The way she sounded, it was more of a request. But he knew if he didn't comply, something worse would likely happen. 

Soldier Boy hated the way he so easily followed her order. And he hated it more when Amber pushed his head into the sheets and he liked it. If only his father could see him now. He wondered what he'd say. Probably something worse than what he could come up with. But, then again, that would take a lot more work than what his father wanted to do. 

“Take a deep breath,” Amber advised. Soldier Boy could hear a cap opening and closing. He had an idea as to what it was. “Or don't. You might like it better.” She teased as she pushed her finger inside him without any other warning. 

The muscles in his legs tensed as he moved his head, the bell on his collar ringing as he did. “What the—” Another finger. Soldier Boy was even less prepared than before. “Fuck!” Pain seared inside him. Not overwhelming but a lot more than he thought he'd ever experience in this setting. “What—”

“Shhh,” Amber cooed softly, “Bad boys don't get to speak. Now, I want you to be quiet. Or else something worse might happen.” Soldier Boy couldn't see her face but he could imagine what it looked like. A nice, but unsettling, smile on her face as hooded eyes stared down at him. “Give me a nod that you understand,” She pressed her fingers deeper inside and he had to bite on his bottom lip to keep a noise from escaping him. “C'mon, sweetheart, please?”

Soldier Boy nodded, eyes screwed shut. A satisfied noise left Amber's lips. She curled her slender fingers inside him while his face contorted, trying his best not to let out a strained moan as he gripped the sheets. His whole body tensed when Amber's hand started to move. 

In and out. In and out. In and out. Harder, harder, harder. He wanted to scream. Yell. Maybe kick a door in. He wanted to do something. But this power Amber had over him made him have second thoughts. The way she made him feel. Like he was a teenager again. Powerless. Soldier Boy had lived so long that he forgot what it was like. A life that was mostly filled with drugs, women, and alcohol to ease some sort of pain he didn't want to acknowledge. But Amber fucked it out of him. Somehow. 

So Soldier Boy stayed quiet. Like she asked—no, demanded—him to. And then there was that bell. It rang with each push. He felt like it was too much. The noises, the sensations, the fact that he couldn't let the tension in him release in some way. But it also wasn't enough. He wanted more. Needed more. That gnat inside him was going insane. He needed to feel sore the next morning, needed to be reminded of what happened, needed to follow her rules.

“That’s a good boy,” Soldier Boy could hear pants being unzipped. He drew in a sharp breath. “Only good boys get to be fucked by my cock. Do you think you deserve that?” Amber's voice was smooth and sweet, like honey, but grounded and strong. He couldn't get enough of it. “Use your words.” Her movements stopped so he could form more coherent words. 

“Please.” Soldier Boy panted softly, finally easing some of the tension built in his shoulders and arms. 

Amber tsked. “I can't hear you, sweetheart. Louder,” She thrusted her fingers in suddenly, eliciting a sudden, choked whine from Soldier Boy. And another ring of the bell. “Like that.” 

“God, please! Please! Amber, I-I need you so much.” He whined, pleading with every ounce of want in his body. His knuckles were white as they fisted the sheets. Soldier Boy was painfully aware that he tore them—he was so close—Amber would have half a mind to stop and think of something worse to put him through. “Like—fuck! Like nothing else I've ever needed in my life.” The words jumbled out of him faster than he could think. 

The air stilled. For just a moment. 

He was surprised at himself for admitting such a thing. Was meeting Amber really all it took for his walls to start crumbling? Not completely, but enough. To the point where maybe falling in love again wasn't so hard for him. 

Amber slid a hand up Soldier Boy’s side and let out a hum. “Really?” Her voice was amused. “Get on your back for me, then.” 

Quickly, Soldier Boy turned on the bed. His knees were bent in front of him. He was happy to finally be able to see her face. And appreciate her body. Amber was stripped back down to her underwear. Well, minus her actual underwear. Her bra was still on but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Amber pushed his legs apart and looked down at him. 

The view of Soldier Boy below her made her feel accomplished. Prideful somehow. Amber did always like the idea of a man begging for her. And this man just so happened to be a really powerful one. Yeah, that was gratifying. 

“I want you to promise me something,” Amber began with a light, intentionally, sweet smile as she pushed inside him. Soldier Boy's jaw dropped open. He felt like he was being split down the middle. “Don't say anything like tranny or fag or, hell, even pussy again to me or anyone else. Okay?” Her smile dropped from her lips, eyes glaring down at him. 

The bell on his collar rang frantically as he nodded, eyebrows furrowed with pleasure. 

Amber lifted Soldier Boy’s calf over her shoulder as she leaned over him, admiring the way he looked in the black leather collar as she pushed her pelvis into the flesh of his ass. His chest shook as he took in a sharp breath. 

“Please—please move!” Soldier Boy begged softly, lifting a hand to Amber's neck to gingerly caress underneath the curve of her jaw. He wanted to sob with need. He was way too close to having his fortress be completely and utterly destroyed. And he didn't want to stop it. 

A wicked smile graced Amber's lips. A twinge of desire churned in his stomach. “A little more, sweetheart, I like this.” She admitted as she jerked her hips. 

That goddamned bell chimed again.

Soldier Boy choked on a whimper. “Baby, fuck—I need you to move! Please.” His brain was buzzing louder and louder as time went on but he was still very much conscious and hadn't turned Amber into dust—not that he'd be able to do that in the first place. 

“Hmm. Okay.” Amber relented. Only slightly. 

Her immediate pace was hard and fast and Soldier Boy panted heavily, a whine or whimper at the end of every single noise he made. The bell rang with each movement, swinging softly. He pushed his head back onto the bed as his whole body tensed up. His muscles ached while his mind reeled with delight.

Soldier Boy had never felt anything like this before. Pure ecstasy. Better than the drug. Any drug for that matter. His ass was starting to get sore with each thrust but he couldn't have cared less. The ache made it all the more worth it. Hell, even the sound of her skin pounding into his made his mind whir like an old computer. 

“Your sounds,” Avery panted into his ear. “They’re fucking beautiful.” She attached her lips to Soldier Boy’s jaw, nipping at the skin. She wanted to do this more often. 

And judging by Soldier Boy’s sounds, he'd like that too.

“Ah, fuck!” Soldier Boy’s free hand gripped at Amber's waist, digging his nails into her skin. “Baby–Baby, shit—I can't—I can't—” He sobbed. He couldn't hold on anymore. All the touching and feeling and everything was rising and rising. A part of him was surprised he lasted this long. Especially with the finger-fucking he went through earlier. 

Avery flipped the bell around Soldier Boy’s neck as she sucked a mark above it. A helpless whimper escaped his lips. 

“Be a doll and hold it in,” Avery ground out, giving Soldier Boy a particularly hard thrust. He drew in a sharp breath which morphed into a whine. “You'll do that for me?” 

Soldier Boy whimpered, “Uh-huh.” He was so drunk on feeling that he couldn't stop himself from obeying her. But it got harder and harder with each snap of her hips. “Shit–” He breathed as the muscles in his legs started to twitch. 

“You're almost there,” Compared to the almost carnal way Amber was fucking into him, the way her lips pressed against his skin was soft, gentle, and felt strangely more sensual than everything else. “I can feel it, sweetheart. So am I. Just—” Amber grunted lowly into Soldier Boy’s ear. “Just hold on. A little more.” Her voice was strained.

That's when Soldier Boy had a moment of clarity. Amber was going to cum. Inside him. A shiver of delight ran throughout his body. 

After a few more deep pushes, Amber let out a harbored sigh. The tightness in her stomach broke and Soldier Boy cried out as he felt her paint his insides. Not more than a few seconds later, as Amber slowed her hips, he came as well. Drops of white landed on both of their stomachs. 

Soldier Boy had to resist the urge to actually cry. He had never felt more thoroughly satisfied in his life. 

“Oh, my sweet boy,” Amber cupped his face, tilting it so he would look her in the eyes. “You like this, hm? Me inside you? You'd like it if it was like this all the time, wouldn't you?” She teased softly. 

The man underneath her loved the weight of her inside him. Maybe he secretly wished she would split him in half. He nodded silently, his face red as he felt a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck. Soldier Boy didn't sweat. Not in a long time. 

Amber caressed the side of his face and smiled down at him. “I could arrange that.” She hummed. “But,” She pulled his leg from her shoulder and let it fall. “We have things to do tomorrow.” Her cock slipped from him and he immediately felt empty. 

He pursed his lips, a crease between his eyebrows when he let out a whine from the loss of her touch. He could barely speak after feeling something so intense. Amber went to the bathroom connected to her room to grab a towel and cleaned him up. Soldier Boy’s whole body was sore but his ass was where he felt it the most. 

“C'mon, sweetheart,” Amber sighed, running a hand through his hair which he gladly leaned into. “Don't be like that.” She sighed as she picked up her underwear to put it back on to, at the very least, have something to cover herself in bed. Amber didn't like being naked underneath covers. It just felt wrong. 

After some coaxing, Amber was able to get Soldier Boy to put his boxers back on himself and lay in bed correctly. However, he immediately clung to her like a vice once they were both in her bed. He buried his face into her neck while an arm rested over her stomach. Amber hadn't bothered to take the collar off his neck and Soldier Boy didn't mention it. He liked how it felt. A symbol of her ownership over him. 

That little bell stopped ringing. And so did his head. 

-----

A/N: I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT ON THIS FIC !!! i never thought so many other people would want to read about soldier boy getting dicked down but here we are !!! 🫶

taglist: @aleemendoza2425-blog

taglist open here !!

[thebiggerbear]

😭😭

This was beyond perfect. This part especially had my heart going 🥹:

It was not easy for someone like him to stay faithful to his partner. He rarely recognised commitment before he met her, and being surrounded by blatant temptations all the time didn't make things any better. He could have anyone at any time, ladies would eagerly kneel and suck him off without a question if he wanted them to. But he'd be damned if he wasn't in charge of his own self. He'd be damned if he dared to break her heart. He'd be damned if he ruined his family, a family he never thought he'd ever have, for such vagaries.

Exactly. That's exactly how I imagine Ben to be and how he thinks about it when he finally finds a woman he wants to commit to. And when he reassures her, it's beyond heartwarming and so Ben. Love this so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️

→ Home.

gif credit.

pairing: soldier boy/ben x wife!reader.

rating: fluff, implied smut.

warning: bens's pov, very soft ben, implied pregnant sex, praising, horny reader, antiquated mentality....

word count: 2.4k

summary: ben's discovering new life affairs while expecting his first baby.

tagging: @zepskies

→ masterlist | ao3

Soldier Boy guzzled down his third raw drink before he decided to call it a day and go home. He took off his supe gear and changed into more casual clothes in the dressing room in his quarters at Vought's tower after he took a quick shower. He shook his head with a sneer when he tugged the shirt above his head, remembering her telling him —bossing him— that he wasn't to come home stinking with blood and cigars and whiskey and Vought. Soldier Boy didn't take shit from anyone, but he found himself helpless against her wishes—orders. He was grinning though, amusedly so. Sometimes he wondered where his obedient and good wife went. He liked that version of her, nonetheless.

Though he liked to think that his baby was igniting her wild spirit, his pretty wife seemed to have gotten quite sensitive to strong scents, and her stomach grew weak ever since he got her pregnant with their first child four months ago. It was chiselled in his mind; the memory of her hoping onto his chest with happy shrieks when he returned from work affirming the news.

He had been sensing the baby's presence for a week thanks to his superhuman senses before that, and he'd told her that night to go check on it with a doctor. They were eagerly trying to have a baby so it was of no surprise, but it still pulled a huge smile on his lips and made pride swell in his chest. He was going to be a father in nine months. The thing he wanted to be the most.

But as it turned out, pregnancy wasn't as magical as his mind fantasised to be. It wasn't all fuzzy and beautiful like he imagined. He cursed the damn commercials for that. Fucking marketing.

The first couple of months were rough. Morning sickness, vomiting, ungodly cravings at ungodly hours, horrendous mood swings, and worst of all; minimum intimacy. She'd become fragile unlike her nature. And she got overly concerned that he might hurt the baby whenever he suggested penetrative sex. Orals were, certainly, out of the equation. It was both frustrating and maddening to say the least. He was a fucking man and had needs. The best he could get was quick and not so enthusiastic handies from time to time when she could provide. Long story short, he was growing blue balls from the ordeal. Fuck, he used to make fun of men who couldn't get laid properly. The irony had such an impact on his ego; his pride of being a fucking man.

It was not easy for someone like him to stay faithful to his partner. He rarely recognised commitment before he met her, and being surrounded by blatant temptations all the time didn't make things any better. He could have anyone at any time, ladies would eagerly kneel and suck him off without a question if he wanted them to. But he'd be damned if he wasn't in charge of his own self. He'd be damned if he dared to break her heart. He'd be damned if he ruined his family, a family he never thought he'd ever have, for such vagaries.

In time, however, pregnancy did prove itself to be the most beautiful of all affairs. Surprisingly so. Whenever he spooned her up hugging her from behind, he found odd tranquillity of hearing hers and the babe's rhythmical heartbeats, or when he caressed her bumping tummy, feeling his child's life forming inside of her body, a creature they both made, lack of sex seemed to be durable and trivial at some point. Something he himself wouldn't believe before. But here he was. His disgust and appal from what pregnancy entailed gradually dissipated and were replaced with zeal and thrill. And most certainly, he enjoyed the changes of her body the most. Ben just loved the way her boobs were swelling up with milk, and the way her stomach was flourishing with his child. Boob massage was something he greatly took pleasure in. Kneading her sore breasts while hearing her moans of relief. He'd come to learn that intimacy could be found in many other things than sex.

Ben noticed he'd come to hating every moment he spent away from them. His temper got much worse, his teammates observed. And he became more aggressive than he already was when fighting crime. The happiest moment of his day was when he dropped the shield and took the helmet off to head home, where his beautiful wife would be eagerly waiting to have dinner with him even though most of the nights he'd come home and find her dozing off on the couch where she'd been waiting for him. He'd carry her to their bedroom and have dinner by himself — he skipped that very often — then slip right behind her on the bed holding her close to his body. The concept of coming back home to someone was so much alluring to him. He felt his life was complete. Real.

Ben arrived at their penthouse, assuming he'd find her soundly sleeping while she stayed awaiting him. He didn't announce his return loudly as he used to do before the pregnancy. He didn't want to wake her up. But much to his surprise — and delight, Ben found the place dimly lit with scented candles, sensuous silence prevailing within the air.

Ben's eyes glimmered, and an instant wolfish grin slipped into his lips when his eyes landed on his wife's figure as she clambered down the stairs. A thin, short gown with a raunchy red colour hugged her frame, its fabric was so thin that he could see her skin glowing through the red. Her breasts were full, putting her cleavage on more display. Whereas the bump of her belly was deliciously visible. Her hair was neatly styled and spruced up and her pretty face was elegantly painted with make-up.

“Welcome home, Ben,” She warbled with a smile, eyes filled with sultry desire as she strolled down to him. He was dazzled by her appearance, he was practically eating her with his eyes. Fuck, pregnancy did make her much prettier. “Hope you didn't have dinner yet 'cause I made you something special tonight.”

Her palm grazed his stubbled cheek. Ben leaned into her touch, pressing a gentle kiss to her palm, a grin gracing his mouth. “'Course I didn't. Why the fuck would I eat outside when I have a capable wife like you at home?”

She giggled gleefully at his statement as he pulled her flush against his body. He eyed her with a hazed gaze. Her mouth was luring him in, deliciously so. He liked that lipstick shade on her lips so much. He couldn't but to give in to the utter temptation. Ben tilted his head down and captured them in a burning kiss. An instant moan escaped her throat as his mouth passionately pressed to hers. Her arms encircled his neck, hands combing through his brown hair. He synced their heads for a better angle, and deepened the kiss, tongue slipping into her warm mouth. His hands brushed her sides then her ass.

He broke the kiss momentarily and she gasped vehemently. He could hear the rapid pace of her heart and the gushing blood through her vein, pooling down in her groin. He crushed her lips again, hands travelling up to remove the dress but she squealed and pulled back.

“Benjamin, dinner's gonna get cold!” She laughed again when he buried his face in her neck, kissing her skin softly.

“Is that really what you're fucking concerned about now?” He grumbles in a teasing tone.

She giggled, “Should I be concerned about something else—woah!” Ben grabbed her hips and lifted her effortlessly, heading to the living room with her pretty legs around his hips. His lips plundering hers again all the way until they reached the couch where he sat with her straddling his lap. The kiss went wild once they settled comfortably on the couch. His big hands stroked her thighs ardently. They trailed up to her ass giving it a firm squeeze and she moaned in his mouth, plucking the rim of her satin panties. He smirked into the kiss, fingers tracing down to her core. His grin widened when he met her bare cunt.

“Oh, baby,” He rasps when she rolls her hips slowly, pressing her cunt on his clothed cock, “Aren't you a pretty fucking tease?” He tugged at the lip of the crotchless panties, a mischievous grin playing on his mouth.

She guffawed with a coquettish tilt of her head, and his cock twitched in an immediate response. However, the innocent look on her face opposed the tortuous pace of her hips. She was fucking tantalising him with those hips. And he fucking liked it despite the screaming urge growing in his chest to flip her over and fuck her raw. Oh, she did like it rough, the little slut. She liked to be beneath him and beg him to go harder and faster, to yank her hair and make her choke on his dick. She loved how he manhandled her with his superhuman strength despite being only a human, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't take great pleasure in it too. Ben's nothing if doesn't live to be in charge. He'd been shocked that a tiny woman like her could handle him as such. But he was quick to remember that she was with his fucking child. He couldn't go rough on her like he used to do even if they both craved it.

She didn't stop her torment as her delicate hands rested on his shoulders for support. He could smell the sweet scent of her arousal soaking his crotch and he growled, “Holy fuck, you gonna let me fuck that pretty pussy of yours, or you planning on making me cream my pants?”

Her lips twisted wickedly, “Depends,”

“On fucking what?” He grunted, brows furrowed, puzzled. He was way too hard and drunk by her scent to clearly think or read between her lines, “Baby, you're fucking killing me here.”

“Aw, am I to seal the greatest era of America's history?” She giggled again, “What an honour.”

Then it clicked. The fucking slut. She was tempting him to ravish her. Maybe he should, but again, he worried about her and the child. Because honestly, he wasn't so sure if he could restrain himself if he unbridled that side of his.

Then his mouth splitted in a huge grin, brushing his cheek to hers to grumble in her ear, “The only honour you're gonna get is milking my cock empty in that slutty pussy of yours.” He chuckled triumphantly when he sensed her shivering in delight. Leaning his head backward, he saw her chewing on her lower lip adorably with a cute pinkish red dusting across her face, whereas her eyes were searing with covetousness. Ben pecked her nose and lifted her up again, gently. She trilled a series of choppy laughters and playfully kicked her legs when he carried her to their bedroom.

Needless to say, she took whatever honour he bestowed upon her like a champ.

He was craving a whiff of a cigar. He used to smoke after a good fuck in bed, she'd even share him a couple of drags sometimes. But since it was off the table — temporarily — he focused on and enjoyed her fingers running on his chest.

Fuck, pregnant sex did feel amazing. He gotta admit. He did hear from here and there that a woman with child, at some point of her pregnancy, would be touched by sudden and high libidinousness. But fuck, didn't that catch him off guard. And fuck, if he didn't enjoy it down to the last minute detail. And dare he say, it was the best sex he ever had. It was perfect; she was perfect.

Never did he think that he'd find home, his real home in a simple elementary school teacher he met on one of his tours throughout the country. A beautiful and smart woman who always kept him on his toes and had him wrapped around her pretty fingers.

Ben smiled and kissed the crown of her head, and slowly, it turned into a trail of kisses down her face. Then he captured her lips, and soon enough, they were engaging in a heated make-out session.

“Ben,” She whispered as she gazed at him, voice a bit hoarse from screaming and crying beneath him for hours.

His hand was rubbing circles on her ass languidly, “What is it, dollface?” He drawls with a thick voice.

“Sorry for not being a good wife for you the last couple of months.” She said meekly, bringing his hands to cradle them in hers, while he just frowned at her words, “They were tough times on me, on us.” She sighed, pressing light kisses on his rough hands, “But everything's gonna be set right again, I promise.”

Ben's frown only got deeper when he noticed the lick of fear and desperation in her eyes and voice. Fuck, she was scared shitless. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His wife was scared if he was screwing around on her because of her lack of attention due to the pregnancy, for she used to shower him with doting and devotion as a good wife did. Fuck, did he, by any mean, do anything wrong to arise such qualms in her? He certainly did not. Then he fucking remembered that nasty reputation of his that proceeded him.

Fuck, gotta reassure her and chill her the fuck down. He can't have her in such a position. He can't have his home in such a precarious, dark place. Not after what the two of them had done to build what they had up. He wouldn't allow it.

“Hey,” He passed rough-padded thumbs under the lines of her eyes, palms caressing her cheeks, “Nothing went fucking wrong to set back right, sweetheart,” Then he gave her belly tender strokes, “You're an amazing wife,”

She was; everyday she woke up, five in the morning, to prepare him a delicious-ass breakfast. She took it upon herself to be his barber and shaved his beard almost everyday and trimmed his hair every now and then. She was patient when he wasn't. She embraced him when he was practically a walking ticking bomb. She patched him up — when needed — at night when he'd return to her roughed up from fighting crimes. She soothed him down when frustrated and angry. She took his bad temper and relieved it thoroughly. She was everything. She was home.

Ben's finger flicked her nose playfully, “As I'm fucking sure yer gonna be an amazing hot momma,”

Ah, here it was, the sheepish smile that reached her eyes. He'd fucking cherish it forever.

He kissed her forehead, “You're perfect; my perfect wife, my perfect home.”

[mistyorchid]

Meet-Cute

Old Man!Logan x fem! reader

summary: Failed talking stages inspire you to meet someone irl. Riding an older man in the backseat of his limo makes you forget about the immature boys who ghosted you on Hinge. Ch. 2 Ch. 3 warnings: MDNI, no use of y/n, smut, age gap, reader is 21+, fingering, riding, size difference, praise kink, pet names (doll, baby, sweet/good girl, sweetheart), unprotected p in v, light slapping, oral (male!receiving), creampie, car sex (nobody's around tho), logan's slutty glasses. wc: 3k

Hinge. The app designed to be deleted. You smiled as you pushed the cart, daydreaming about chucking your phone into the nearest lake. The few matches that you received often ghosted you after a week, afraid of committing to a real date.

So here you were, aimlessly strolling through a grocery store. Desperately begging the universe for a real man.

You spent an embarrassingly long time curating the perfect outfit to attract a guy worth your time. Casual enough for a quick errand, but still chic. I want to be with someone who admires my confidence. They shouldn't reprimand me for expressing myself.

That's how the feminist part of your brain explained your attire. The other touch-starved half, however, wanted to wear the shortest skirt you owned just to feel men stare holes through it.

You turned into the bakery aisle and pretended to evaluate the nutritional contents of a massive chocolate cake. Maybe this could be plan B, if tonight's endeavor was hopeless.

The comforting hum of fluorescent lights softened the sterile environment around you. Memories of simpler times floated in your mind. Handmade school lunches. Gentle kisses placed on your knee after a bad fall. You closed your eyes, lulled by the promises of love you were granted as a child. Now an adult, you yearned for a partner that could nurture you in a romantic way.

Logan overheard a bag of produce spill onto the floor as he picked up a shopping basket. The cashier dropped it when he saw Logan's blood-stained dress shirt.

Mumbling a string of profanity, he decided to release some steam. "Show's over!" he snapped, flippantly tossing his right arm behind him.

Ignoring the shocked gasps of the other shoppers, Logan sulked further into the store in search of something to soothe his palate.

His doctor tentatively ordered him to "lay off the booze," a suggestion that left three deep puncture wounds in the drywall of his office. Alcohol numbed the emotional and physical pain that plagued him, but it also further delayed his healing powers.

Logan's skeleton was withering away, and all he wanted was a fucking sweet treat.

Your body braced for impact as your chest made contact with a shopper haphazardly turning into the aisle. After dropping the cake onto the pristine white tile, you closed your eyes again, salvaging the moment of peace that was stolen from you.

"Hey, watch where you're going, asshole." You reluctantly opened your eyes and were met with the solid torso of a man.

Slowly raking your gaze up his body, you raised your eyebrows at the sight of his bloody shirt before meeting his narrowed eyes.

Crows feet radiating from the corners. Prescription glasses. He appeared much older than you expected from your brief contact with his chest.

You silently cursed your luck. This meet-cute plan was steadily evolving into a meet-angry situation.

"Not smart to close your eyes in public," he huffed, staring pointedly at the fallen cake. It was hard not to notice your mini skirt. He hasn't seen a skirt that short since the 60s.

Although you had pulled away from him, the man's eyes lingered on your chest. The playful baby-doll top hugged your cleavage in all the right places. Your glossy lips donned a similar shade of pink. He quickly resumed eye contact, feeling like a dirty old man for imagining them wrapped around his cock.

She's too young, you sick fuck. Logan's internal monologue worked overtime to maintain a shred of decency.

Your face turned away from him at the impending embarrassment you were about to put yourself through. Smirking, you shyly retorted, "Not smart to stare at a girl's tits in public." You gently pushed up his glasses further onto the bridge of his nose.

Closing the gap between your chests, you tip-toed to reach his ear before whispering, "It's okay . . . I want you to."

The answer to Logan's suffering was sweeter than any slice of cake he could have indulged in. A pretty little thing was actually flirting with him, a cynical ex-soldier worn by the unforgiving rings of time.

Logan's hands found the back of your elbows and slowly pulled you closer to him. You gasped as you felt his belt buckle catch on the flimsy fabric of your top.

"Careful, doll," he grunted, leaning down to meet the side of your face. "I'm old enough to be your father."

You defiantly peered up at him through your lashes. "Yeah, and . . .?"

The man slowly distanced himself from you, gently tugging the hem of your top down to its original state.

Okay, definitely not the best response to seduce an older man. You chewed the inside of your cheek, stunned by your juvenile comeback.

"I'm sorry, kid. Forget I said anything," he muttered before turning into another aisle. He mentally kicked himself for letting the interaction go that far. Although his aching body and mind yearned for some relief, he wouldn't take advantage of some young girl.

He hurriedly stomped past the cashiers, swiping a few cigars from a distracted employee's station.

After the initial shock wore off, you quickly followed the older man to the parking lot. Totally not stalker-ish at all, right?

You wanted to take care of him. His reluctance to return your lust-sick gaze should have deterred you, but it only made you more desperate.

You watched as his hands dug into his pocket, pulling out a set of keys. The chipper click of the limo doors unlocking motivated you to get his attention.

"Hey! Can we talk?" You yelled, raising an outstretched palm to stop him from getting inside the car.

Logan froze at the sound of your voice. He contemplated being responsible, slamming his door and driving off without a second glance.

The gentle pressure of your hand wrapping around his wrist made him think extremely irresponsible thoughts.

Turning around to meet your gaze, the older man swiftly opened the passenger door. "Get in. Now," he growled.

Words betrayed you. All you responded with was a surprised squeak as he used your grip on his wrist to push you further into the vehicle.

His eyes widened as you briefly parted your thighs to get settled in the lush leather seat. The sinfully short hem of your skirt bunched up, revealing your underwear.

Logan whipped his head to the front of the limo, avoiding the sight of your body. Unfortunately, he couldn't avoid how you felt against his. You sat at an angle towards him, knees pressing against his thigh. His body tensed as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Why were you following me, huh?" he asked, finally meeting your eyes. "I've had a long fuckin' day and I need answers." He couldn't believe that a young woman like you would be interested in him.

"Yeah, you're old enough to be my father, maybe older-" you paused to move your left hand onto his thigh. "-but I'm done playing with boys." You shyly turned your head before continuing, "Need a real man."

Logan was done holding back. Now, it all made sense. Your lack of direction in the store, the low cut of your outfit that was way too sexy for a late night grocery run. We're both adults, he reasoned. She wants this.

He gingerly cradled your jaw with his large hand, turning your head towards his. "You sure about this, sweetheart?

You covered his hand with your own, bringing your lips to his in a spontaneous kiss. "I-I need to hear you," he stuttered.

"Shut up and fuck me, . . . " you sighed, pausing to ask for his name.

"Logan . . . call me Logan, doll." His left hand snaked around your waist, bunching the delicate material and exposing your breasts.

As you leaned into his palm, he fished the limo keys out of his pocket and clicked twice, locking the doors. He fondled the underside of your tits before rolling the sensitive nipples between his thumb and forefinger.

You were grateful for the tinted windows that shielded your embarrassing moans from the public.

"Already whining for me, hm? So fuckin' needy," he hummed, pushing up your top even further. You crossed your arms to undress, but Logan swatted them away, explaining, "It's cute. Wanna see your tits bounce for me, baby."

He gripped your ass with both hands and effortlessly swung you onto the broad expanse of his lap.

Your back arched as his rough palm cupped your pussy, thumb languidly tracing your sensitive bud through the cotton.

"But this . . . has to go," he drawled, tugging the elastic of your panties before letting it go with a faint snap.

It was too much. You were splayed over the lap of a stranger, hips wantonly rocking yourself over his prominent bulge and mewling as your sensitive clit caught on the rough fabric of his slacks.

He stilled your movements with his hands, lovingly kneading the flesh of your hips. "You okay with this?" he asked, searching your eyes for any sign of doubt. "Yeah, Logan . . . more than okay. Need you."

You loved that he was confident enough to take what he wanted but also gracious enough to check in, unlike the boys you were used to fucking around with.

His fingers hooked around the waistband of your skirt and panties, skillfully pushing your legs against your chest as he pulled them off. He decided against slicing them off with his claws, not wanting to hurt you. "Fuck. You're so pretty. My sweet, sweet girl . . ." he cooed. You whined as your aching cunt was finally exposed to Logan's hungry gaze and the chill night air. He groaned as you resumed desecrating his lap with your juices.

Your breath hitched as Logan traced two fingers along your bottom lip. You granted him access, playfully darting your tongue around his digits.

After his fingers were thoroughly soaked, he used your saliva to gently trace your hole, noticing the faint flutter of your walls.

"Need me to fill you up, hm? Poor baby's clenching around nothing. Let me fix that . . ." Logan's palm brushed against your clit as his fingers plunged into you, setting a steady pace.

You were incredibly wet, but he needed to prep you for his thick cock. He drooled, collecting a heavy wad of spit onto his tongue before letting it fall onto your pussy.

"Ah-ah!" You exclaimed, surprised by the contact. You bit your lip, cheeks flushing at the lewd feeling of his spit mixing with your wetness.

He used his other hand to slap repeatedly against your puffy folds, mesmerized by how vulnerable you were being for him.

"Yeah, you like that?" He whispered, curling his fingers as they met your cervix. You covered your mouth, desperately trying to maintain some modesty. Logan withdrew his left hand to pry away your arm and swallow your moans, sloppily slotting his lips into yours.

You gasped into his mouth as you felt your cunt spasm around his fingers, gushing all over his tight slacks.

"Oh, fuck! Logan . . . " you mewled, biting his lower lip while he continued to finger you through your orgasm.

Your head fell into the inviting crook of his neck, nuzzling his graying beard. "Atta girl, come for me," he cooed.

Logan peered down at you, noticing wet droplets dampening his beard. You were silently crying, tears cascading down your puffy cheeks before landing on his face.

At first, he was alarmed. "Hey, hey, shhhh," he purred. "What's the matter, doll?"

His cock twitched when he realized you were smiling against his neck.

"Nothing's wrong, Logan . . . you make me feel so good, that's all."

He planted a sweet kiss on your forehead. "Yeah? Want me to make you feel even better? Fill you up for real this time?"

You nodded dumbly, still basking in the haze of your release.

"Nuh-uh. Words." The simple command made you rut into his lap.

You shuddered while responding. "Wanna feel you inside me. Need your-" Logan bucked up into you. "-cock."

He slid his hands under your thighs, briefly pushing you forward so he could unbuckle his belt. Your small hands slinked toward his waist. "Let me do it," you pleaded, hastily sliding his belt through its loops and tossing it to the floor.

You pulled his cock out of his slacks, leaning down to press sweet little kisses to the head. Your thighs burned with the effort, but it was worth it to feel him momentarily lose control. Logan hissed sharply, "Good girl, fuck-" before guiding his thick cock into your heavenly mouth.

You licked a prominent vein that teased its way above his waistband. The taste of him was utterly intoxicating. You moaned onto his length, choking back tears as he suddenly thrust up into your eager throat.

The delicious weight of his cock on your tongue was short-lived. He cupped your face, forcing your mouth to slide past the tip with an obscene pop.

"Won't last long if you keep doing that, doll. Takes a lot less to get me riled up these days," he explained.

You nodded as you straightened yourself, using your knees to hover above his lap. He teasingly ran the flushed tip of his cock through your folds before sinking into your weeping pussy.

"Oh my god! fuck-" you cried, lowering your hips to embrace his full length. Your hands found stability on Logan's shoulders as you bounced on his cock.

Logan stared in awe at your tits. They were practically spilling out the sides of your cute top, jiggling with each movement of your hips.

As he admired your form, you drunk in the sight of his coarse salt and pepper beard. His wiry glasses barely held onto the slope of his strong nose due to your eager movements. You paid special attention to his crimson-stained shirt, wondering how he was enduring the wounds.

"You're hurt." You stated, pausing to slowly unbutton his dress shirt.

Logan's hands grabbed a handful of your ass and slammed you down onto his lap, forcing you to continue taking his cock.

"Never said you could stop," he huffed. "It'll take time, but I'm healing."

You gasped as your clit hitched on the bunched fabric of his slacks, frantically shrugging off his shirt in the process. A devastating moan ripped from Logan's throat as you peppered kisses on his wounds. The coppery taste of his blood was oddly soothing, reminding you that the man buried in your cunt was real and not just a figment of your lust-fueled imagination.

Logan loved how dazed you looked, your chest rising and falling with each shaky breath, your pupils dilated and glossy. His cock twitched every time your soft tits brushed against his face. You whined as the steady rhythm of your hips faltered, hinting at your imminent release.

"Lean forward, baby. Let your old man take care of you," he sighed, wrapping his broad arms around your waist. You allowed yourself to slump forward, arching your back and playfully wiggling your ass in the air.

You yelped as he slapped your ass with enough force to feel the sting radiate from his outstretched palm. "Such a fuckin' tease," he growled, filling you up in one thrust. He set a punishing pace that made you sob into his chest. The loud squelches of your release echoed throughout the limo, mirroring your high-pitched wines.

"Oh, my god! . . ." you mewled, savoring the feeling of his cock stretching your walls. Your breath hitched every time his hips met yours, balls slapping against the sensitive skin of your ass.

He fucked up into your cunt, relishing the fact that you'd probably never had a cock as big as his. Logan stared at where you were connected, hypnotized by the subtle drag of your folds along his rugged length.

"Don't know what I did to deserve a pretty girl like you." His teeth tugged on the delicate strap of your top, exposing your breasts. His mouth enveloped the bud, gently sucking and pulling as they hardened.

"Logan . . . can't take it anymore. I'm close." You clenched around him, earning another hard slap on your ass.

"You gonna come for me sweetheart, hm?" He somehow increased his pace, hips drilling into your sensitive cunt. "C'mon, come all over my cock. Such a sweet young thing, so eager to please . . . " he hummed into your ear.

"And just so we're clear, I am definitely older than your father." His filthy words made you arch even higher, stilling your hips mid-air and allowing Logan to fuck you through your release.

The sound of you faintly chanting his name as you came sent him over the edge. "You can take it," he encouraged as your pathetic whines intermingled with his unabashed groans. His hips drove home, bouncing you harshly against his tense thighs and spilling into you with a low growl.

You almost blacked out at the feeling of his cum spurting into your walls, reaching even further when Logan buried his cock to the hilt. You clenched around him, overstimulated and thoroughly fucked.

"That's it, just relax . . . You look so pretty milking my cock," he praised, brushing stray hair away from your face.

You managed to sit upright and shakily moved to lift yourself off his cock, but Logan quickly steadied your hips. He's still hard, you realized, fascinated by his renewed vigor.

He panted, obviously just as spent as you were.

"So, uh, tomorrow, the Italian place on fifth street, 8 PM?"

You narrowed your eyes, incredibly confused at his choice of words after experiencing the best sex you've ever had.

"Our first date," he clarified. He kissed your cheek and you blushed at the contrast between the innocent action and the fact that his hard cock was still buried in your cunt. "After all, I'm a real man, right? And real men plan dates." He plastered on a cocky grin, repeating your earlier statements.

"Okay, old man. It's a date." You smiled, kissing his mouth with passion.

an: Ah!!! I had so much fun writing this. Old Man Logan, when will it be my turn >:[

[hyuckiefluff]

nasty habits | park jisung

pairing: pervy!jisung x camgirl! reader

genre: smut, a little bit of fluff at the end

summary: what happens when you find out that your top spender as a cam girl isn’t some rich old guy, but an awkward boy from your campus?

wc: 20k+

warnings: cam girl activities, usage of sex toys, cursing, loss of virginity, sub!jisung, masturbation (like a lot of it), oral sex (fem.receiving), jisung is his usual introverted self (and only loud during sex), a lot of sexualization and just overall horniness lol. lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: heeey loves! i was absolutely floored with the amount of love that my latest fic got, so here i am with another one for you. this is my first jisung fic so im excited but also nervous bc jisung is one of my biases. idk why it took me so long to write him. but anyways i hope you all enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. ps; y/n is terrible at recognizing people or remembering names and i’m only putting that here bc it comes out a few times in the fic lol (she’s just like me fr), ALSO, this is loosely inspired by BJ Alex. oh and one last thing, the idea for this fic or at least the characters’ dynamic was inspired by this tweet.

your college days have been, for the most part, unremarkable in the best way. you pulled decent grades, had a solid group of friends, and were generally well-liked.

but despite being somewhat popular, you managed to keep a lot about yourself private.

and by that, you mean the secret life that only a handful of your closest friends knew about.

after all, being a cam girl wasn’t exactly your average college hobby.

it started on a whim, born from equal parts boredom and curiosity. at first, you had no idea what you were doing. your streams were awkward, your lighting was bad, and your concept was nonexistent. but after a few months, you found your niche and suddenly, you were kind of a big deal on the platform.

granted, the website you streamed on was pretty obscure, the kind of place you could name in public, and nobody would so much as glance your way. still, you made decent money. enough to pay for your first two years of college, entirely out of pocket.

you never flaunted it, and most of your friends didn’t care to pry. they only ever joked about it, like they were doing now after you casually mentioned how much you’d earned last month.

“girl, what the hell. maybe i should start camming too,” giselle said, eyes wide as she stared at the number on your screen.

“you say that like it’s a joke, but i’m dead serious,” karina chimed in, striking a dramatic pose in front of the mirror. “i checked my bank account yesterday and almost cried.”

“i mean, i’m not saying you should, but if you need pointers…” you teased, shooting them a wink

“for real though, you’ve gotten so much confidence from this,” giselle pointed out, leaning back against the bed frame.

“oh yeah, nothing boosts your self-esteem like a 60 year old man telling you your ‘princess bits’ are so pretty he busted one in his pants,” you deadpanned, propping your chin on your hand.

“okay, they can’t all be old men,” karina snorted “like can you see their profiles or anything?” she asked, abandoning the mirror and flopping onto the bed beside you.

“not really. just their usernames and how much they’ve spent on my channel.”

“wait, check your top supporter!” giselle said, bouncing a little in excitement.

you scrolled through the dashboard until his username popped up. the moment your friends saw how much he’d spent on you this year, they both let out a loud gasp.

“what in the sugar daddy is this?” karina said, laughing in disbelief. “eighteen thousand dollars? that’s literally my entire tuition!”

“i don’t get the full amount, though. the site takes a cut, then there’s taxes and all that,” you clarified, shrugging.

“still! that’s insane,” giselle said, shaking her head. “honestly, i don’t feel bad about you paying for our sushi nights anymore.”

you laughed, leaning back into your pillows.

“but aren’t you even a little curious about who this…” karina squinted at the screen, “andyp4rk02 is? i need to know everything about this man.”

“i mean, of course i’m curious. but there’s no way to find out,” you said, twirling a strand of hair absentmindedly.

“unless…” giselle said, dragging the word out with a sly grin.

you raised a brow. “unless what?”

“haechan.”

you frowned. “what about him?”

“he could probably hack into this thing,” she said with a casual wave of her hand, as if that wasn’t a completely ridiculous suggestion.

“giselle, he’s a computer science major, not a dark web hacker,” karina said, rolling her eyes.

“okay, but remember when i got locked out of my netflix? he did some tech magic on his computer and got my account back.”

“yeah, because recovering a netflix account is exactly the same as hacking into a cam site,” you said dryly.

“i’m just saying, have you seen his setup? it’s literally something out of a spy movie,” giselle insisted.

karina shrugged. “it wouldn’t hurt to ask him…”

you hesitated, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “i don’t know, guys…”

“oh, come on,” karina said, nudging your shoulder. “don’t you want to know who this guy is?”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

they somehow managed to convince you, which was how you found yourself shivering outside haechan’s dorm, rubbing your arms to keep warm. the air was biting, and as always, haechan wasn’t picking up his phone.

“when he opens this door, i’m kicking him straight in the balls,” you muttered, bouncing on your toes to stave off the cold. giselle was furiously rubbing her hands up and down your arms and karina’s, trying to share what little warmth she had.

“we should’ve called earlier,” karina said through chattering teeth, her lower lip trembling. “he might not even be in.”

giselle huffed dramatically. “okay, this is ridiculous.” she stepped back and cupped her hands around her mouth. “lee haechan, come out right now!” her voice echoed down the street, startling a group of students walking by.

“haechan! get your ass down here!” you joined in, your voice cracking slightly in the cold.

karina gave a small, pitiful laugh. “he lives on the second floor… there’s no way he heard that.”

before she could finish, the door creaked open, revealing one of his roommates. you recognized him immediately but, as usual, couldn’t recall his name. he was younger than you by a year and usually kept to himself whenever you visited.

“uh… hey?” he said, blinking at the sight of the three of you standing there like frostbitten strays. he leaned awkwardly against the doorframe, clearly wondering why three girls were yelling outside their dorm at 9 p.m. on a tuesday.

giselle, ever the charmer, broke into a dazzling smile. “hi! thank you! we’re here for haechan.”

“okay,” he said quietly, still eyeing you all with suspicion. “he’s probably in his room playing league or something.” he stepped aside slowly, letting you in.

“thank you,” you muttered as you walked past, catching the way his gaze immediately dropped to the floor when you made eye contact.

once inside, you didn’t waste any time. storming up to haechan’s door, you knocked violently before pushing it open without waiting for an answer.

“what the hell—” haechan swiveled in his gaming chair, his startled expression melting into a sly grin as soon as he saw you. “hii, girls. to what do i owe the pleasure?” his tone shifted into his mock customer service voice as he leaned back, giving you his most charming smile.

giselle jabbed a finger into his shoulder, making him wince. “were you jerking off, or is your phone shoved up your ass? why didn’t you answer our calls?”

“sorry, i was mid-round, and my phone was on silent,” he said, rubbing his shoulder and smiling sheepishly.

karina folded her arms and sat on the edge of his bed, only to spring back up with a grimace. “ugh, have you even left your room this week?” she asked, glaring at the mountain of empty takeout containers and water bottles scattered across the floor.

“it’s winter break,” haechan said, turning back to his computer and clicking out of the game. “of course i haven’t.”

giselle gestured dramatically at the mess. “you’re one step away from being in a hoarders episode, dude.”

haechan ignored her, spinning in his chair to face you again. “so, what brings such beautiful company to my humble abode?” his eyes lingered on you pointedly.

“he only looked at y/n while saying that. wow.” giselle placed a hand on her chest in mock offense.

“she’s not gonna suck your dick, haechan,” karina said flatly, shaking her head.

“i didn’t even say anything!” he protested, deflating slightly in his chair, his pout almost comical.

“anyway,” you interrupted, rolling your eyes. “i need a favor.”

haechan perked up immediately. “anything for you,” he said with a wink, which earned an exaggerated gagging noise from karina.

you crossed your arms, leaning against the desk. “okay, first: how’s your hacking game these days?”

“eh… like a seven. why?”

“do you think you could, uh, hack into angel corner?”

his eyebrows shot up. “oh, oh.” he swiveled back to his computer, clearly intrigued. “i mean, i’m not super familiar with their system—it depends on their encryption layers and backend coding. but…” he trailed off, tapping his fingers thoughtfully against the desk. “it shouldn’t be too hard. why do you want me to hack them, though?”

you fiddled with the hem of your sweater, trying to look as innocent as possible. “just… curious about one of my subscribers.”

giselle chimed in unhelpfully. “her top subscriber.”

haechan spun his chair back around, narrowing his eyes. “and what exactly do you want to know?”

you hesitated, glancing at karina and giselle. the truth was, you hadn’t really thought this through.

“everything,” karina said firmly, her eyes glinting with a kind of mischievous excitement.

haechan smirked, leaning back in his chair. “okay, but what’s in it for me?”

giselle thought for a second and then grinned, throwing an arm around your shoulder. “y/n will sit on your lap while you do your nerdy shit.”

haechan shot out of his chair, clapping his hands. “deal!”

“huh?! i did not agree to this.” you immediately protested.

“c’mooon,” giselle said with a pout. “don’t you want to know?”

haechan patted his lap smugly. “don’t worry, baby. i don’t bite.”

groaning, you finally gave in, muttering curses under your breath as you sat on his lap. he sighed contentedly, spinning back toward his computer. with a few quick clicks, he opened a screen that looked straight out of a movie just as giselle said before. lines of code and strange tabs you didn’t recognize.

“how do you even know how to do this?” you asked, leaning slightly to the side to avoid touching his chest.

“self-taught,” he replied with a shrug.

“great,” you muttered. “i’m trusting a bootleg hacker to invade my subscriber’s privacy. that’s just fantastic.”

“hey, relax,” haechan said, grinning. “you’re in good hands.”

“can we get this over with so i can get off you?” you groaned, shifting uncomfortably on haechan’s lap.

“why? i’m cozy,” he said with a cheeky grin, snuggling into your back. you retaliated with a flick to his forehead.

“ow!” he yelped, immediately rubbing the spot. “i’m so nice to you and all you do is hurt me.”

“you’ll cope. now, what’s this?” you asked, pointing at the maze of numbers and codes flickering across the screen.

“this,” he said, his brows knitting in concentration, “is me trying to break through their firewall… which is a lot more complicated than i thought.”

“well, obviously,” karina chimed in from behind you, inspecting her nails, only half invested in the conversation. “that site probably has CEOs and politicians on it. maybe one of them is your top subscriber, because who else has eighteen thousand dollars to blow on a cam girl?”

“what?!” haechan yelled, whipping around so fast you nearly fell off his lap. “eighteen thousand?!”

“that was my ear,” you muttered, steadying yourself.

he cleared his throat dramatically, but his ears flushed pink. “right, sorry. anyway—oh, wait, i’m in!”

“wait, really?!” you leaned forward in excitement, your hands clutching the edge of his desk. “oh my god, that’s so cool, i could kiss you right now!”

“please do,” haechan replied, staring at you with wide, hopeful eyes.

“be a man,” karina said, smacking him on the back of his head as she moved closer.

“okay, so… bad news or good news first?” haechan asked, his smug grin returning as he reclined slightly in his chair.

“just rip the band-aid off,” you said, crossing your arms. “what’s the bad news?”

“your top spender is smart. like, annoyingly smart. the only personal info he filled out was his gender, and for his name he used a zelda character.”

“what a virgin,” he added with a laugh.

“look who’s talking,” giselle shot back.

“hey, i’m not the one spending thousands on a cam girl who wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole,” haechan retorted, his tone defensive. “and for the record, i do get some action, thank you very much.”

“sure you do,” karina muttered, rolling her eyes. “anyway, what’s the good news?”

haechan grinned like a cat who’d caught a particularly juicy mouse. “i can get his IP address.”

“wait, for real? what are you waiting for?” giselle leaned in, her eyes darting to the screen.

“hold on.” you hesitated, guilt prickling at the edges of your excitement. “isn’t this… a bit much? like, it feels illegal.”

giselle waved a hand dismissively. “please. we’ve come this far… we can’t leave with just this. we already knew he was a guy. only a man would be that desperate.”

“and besides,” karina added, “you’ve been sitting on this nerd’s lap for twenty minutes. make it worth something.”

“touché,” giselle said, nodding. “by the way, you can get up now.”

“yeah, but…” you paused, shifting slightly. “he was right—his lap is cozy.”

“told ya,” haechan said smugly, shooting you a wink. “so, should i pull up his IP or what?”

you sighed covering your face with your hands, hoping it would make the shame and ethical gray area feel a little less overwhelming “ugh. fine. just do it.”

haechan’s fingers flew across the keyboard, a blur of taps and clicks as lines of code scrolled rapidly across the screen. within three minutes, he sat back triumphantly.

“got it,” he said. but then his smile faltered, his brows knitting together in confusion. “wait… that can’t be right.”

“what?” you dropped your hands and leaned forward. “what’s wrong?”

karina’s eyes widened as she stared at the screen. “isn’t that…?”

giselle’s voice was barely above a whisper. “isn’t that this dorm?”

you all stared at the address blinking on the screen. it was the exact building you were sitting in.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

“you’ve all been staring at me for the past three minutes, and i’m feeling very threatened right now,” haechan said, his voice trembling.

the three of you stood in front of him, arms crossed and glares locked onto his soul.

“well, we just think it’s way too much of a freaky coincidence that her top spender just so happens to live here,” giselle said, her tone accusatory. “care to explain?”

“wait, wait, wait,” haechan stammered, his hands flying up in surrender. “you’re not seriously implying i’m the top spender, right? cause that’s just—” he laughed nervously, “—ridiculous!”

“oh, is it?” karina quipped, raising a perfectly arched brow. “you’re always flirting with y/n and acting like a simp. what’s a few thousand dollars for your ‘queen’?”

“oh, come on!” haechan groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “i’m naturally a flirty guy. that’s my thing! and where do you guys think i’d even get that kind of money?”

he gestured around the room to back up his claim. the pile of ramen cups and the stack of free campus hoodies spoke louder than he ever could.

“besides,” he added, dropping his arms, “i’m not even subscribed to her channel. i admit i checked it out a few times after y/n told me about it, but i promise i’m not a weirdo or anything. you’re my best friend, y/n.”

his voice softened at the end, and you felt yourself relaxing slightly. haechan might be a flirt, a tease, and a relentless pain in the ass, but he wasn’t the kind of person to keep something like this hidden from you.

“he’s telling the truth, you guys,” you said finally, breaking the tension.

karina tilted her head, sizing him up. “yeah, i didn’t think a bum like him would drop that much money on you anyway.” she scoffed, crossing her arms tighter. “he asked me for five dollars the other day… by the way, give me back my money.”

“dude, it was five bucks! let it go,”

“let it go?” karina shot back. “i could’ve gotten a latte with that!”

“okay, okay,” giselle cut in, waving her hands to calm them down. “if it’s not haechan, who else could it be? is there anyone in this dorm who’s… obsessed with you?”

you blinked, thinking hard. “not that i know of. i mean, i don’t really talk to anyone here except for haechan.”

“how many guys live here?” giselle asked, turning to haechan.

“including me? 5,” he said, counting on his fingers. “but i’m pretty sure jeno has a girlfriend... so that leaves mark, jaemin, and jisung.”

“since when has having a girlfriend ever stopped a man from doing something shady?” karina deadpanned, crossing her arms.

“true,” haechan admitted with a shrug, “but let’s be real, girls… all of them are full-time students barely scraping by with part-time jobs. i doubt any of them have that kind of cash to drop freely.”

“you never know,” giselle chimed in. “isn’t mark’s brother the dealer on campus? maybe he borrowed some money.”

karina snorted. “you’re forgetting mark is practically a saint. the guy’s too religious and too much of a goody two-shoes to even think about something like that.”

“okay, what about jaemin?” giselle countered. “he’s always wearing designer stuff. what if he’s secretly loaded?”

karina gave her an incredulous look. “have you seen jaemin? he’s got a different girl drooling over his shoulder every other day. i don’t think he needs to subscribe to a cam girl to satisfy himself and i’m sure all those were gifts from desperate girls”

“then that leaves jisung,” you said slowly, the name clicking into place. “wait… isn’t he the one who let us in earlier? the freshman?”

karina nodded. “oh right, the tall awkward kid. that would explain why he couldn’t even look at you.”

“wait, jisung?” haechan burst out laughing. “no way. the kid’s barely in his twenties! you’re telling me he somehow scraped together eighteen thousand dollars to spend on y/n?”

“well, he does live in this building so that makes him a suspect…” giselle reasoned, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

“ugh, this is getting too weird,” you muttered, pacing the small room. “are we really saying jisung might be the guy?”

“i mean, you never know,” karina said with a smirk. “quiet ones are always full of surprises.”

haechan groaned, flopping back into his chair. “this is turning into a bad episode of CSI”

“if he’s the top spender, that means he has a thing for y/n,” giselle said, grinning. “we should just ask him directly.”

“absolutely not,” you said quickly, your face heating up.

“why not?” karina teased. “we’re already halfway to solving this mystery. might as well get the confession.”

“no, i think this has already gotten out of control… you guys are too caught up on finding who it is but personally i don’t care that much, i’m fine with not knowing”

“really, even after finding out he’s living in this very dorm?” karina asked walking up to you.

“yeah. i don’t care.” you were lying and they could probably tell by your face but, surprisingly, they didn’t press you.

“okay, fine. let’s go home.”

“i think we should have a sleepover. what do you think, girls?” haechan said and you responded by throwing a pillow at him as you exited the room.

“damn, not even a thank you.” he said, rubbing his head.

you sprinted back into the room and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. “thank you!” you said sweetly.

“and clean your room, it stinks!” you yelled from the hallway.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

winter break had ended, and after coming back from visiting your family, you’d mostly forgotten about the fact that your top spender lived in one of your best friend’s dorms.

but your dismissive attitude disappeared as soon as the new term started.

suddenly, you were hyper-aware of every one of haechan’s roommates. even the ones you’d previously ruled out. like, why was jeno suddenly smiling at you from across the dining hall? and was that… a smirk you saw on mark’s face as you walked by? certainly not—you had to be imagining things. you were just being extremely paranoid.

“hey, gorg!!!” giselle greeted you with extra enthusiasm, practically bouncing into the room.

“you’re happy today,” karina observed, raising an eyebrow.

“i am! i really think i cracked this case, y’all.”

you sighed, already bracing yourself. “enlighten us,” you said flatly.

karina rolled her eyes. “you do know no one cares anymore, right?”

giselle ignored her and continued. “by the way, how were you guys’ breaks?” she asked casually before immediately cutting herself off. “never mind, we’ll get to that later. listen, i was in line for food earlier, and guess who i saw?”

when neither of you spoke, she dramatically continued, “jaemin.”

“fork found in kitchen. of course he’d be at the cafeteria during lunch,” you said, unimpressed.

“no, but listen! i said hi to him, and he flinched so hard he nearly dropped his phone. then he tried to hide it.”

“maybe somebody sent him nudes or something,” karina said, shrugging.

giselle shook her head, leaning in conspiratorially. “no, but catch this… he asked if i was here alone, and when i pointed at you”—she turned to you with a wide grin—“he blushed furiously.”

you tsked, slumping back in your chair. “that still proves nothing.”

“okay, but isn’t it suspicious?” giselle pressed. “why would he blush that hard just because i mentioned you?”

“because he’s a human being with a working circulatory system?” you shot back.

karina snorted. “for real. giselle, you’re acting like you just uncovered a government conspiracy.”

“you guys are just blind,” giselle huffed, crossing her arms. “mark my words… it’s him. jaemin’s the one.”

“even if it was him, what am i supposed to do with that information? march up to him and say, ‘hey, thanks for the eighteen grand’?”

“you should,” karina said with a smirk. “at least get him to buy you lunch.”

giselle sighed dramatically, feeling like she was surrounded by fools. “fine. don’t believe me. but when this all comes out, just remember i called it first.”

“boo!”

haechan’s voice was directly in your ear, and you jumped so hard you nearly spilled your coffee all over yourself.

“what the hell! i almost ruined my new skirt,” you snapped, quickly checking to make sure no drops had actually landed on the fabric.

“did you buy that with jaemin’s allowance?” he teased, a grin stretching across his face.

you responded by flipping him off, which only made him laugh as he slid into the seat next to you.

“you heard everything?” karina asked, giving him an unimpressed look.

“hard not to,” he replied casually. “in case you didn’t know, gi, your discreet voice is about as discreet as a foghorn.”

giselle rolled her eyes. “thanks for the input, hacker boy.”

“i’ve already said to drop the topic,” you cut in, frustrated. “what if one of them hears? and! you guys are being so obvious about it… don’t think i haven’t noticed the pointed stares you keep giving to every guy from the dorm. i’m sure they’ve noticed, too.”

“we’re just trying to help,” giselle said, stabbing at her salad with unnecessary force.

“and i do appreciate it,” you replied, though your tight smile probably said otherwise, “but i’d appreciate it even more if we all just moved on.”

your tone made it clear that the discussion was over, and the table fell into an awkward silence.

you felt a little bad about shutting them down so abruptly, but the truth was, you didn’t want them to figure out who your top spender was. not because you cared about protecting his identity, exactly… but because you feared that, in the process, they’d also find out the full truth:

you’d already interacted with him before.

not just casually, either. your top spender had paid for private sessions. more than once.

you still didn’t know what he looked like since he’d never turned on his camera but you could probably recognize his voice. a voice that, no matter how much you tried to ignore it, had been replaying in your head ever since that night you found out he was likely a student in this university. a deep voice that had a habit of making your heart race despite your best efforts to stay professional.

“i know you said to drop it, but is it just me or does hae’s nerdy friend keep looking this way every few seconds?” karina asked, nodding subtly toward a table a few feet away.

you turned your head, catching a glimpse of jisung sitting by himself, fiddling with his phone. “maybe he wants to sit with us,” you shrugged. “call him over, hae.”

“yo, jisung!” haechan called, raising a hand to wave the taller boy over.

jisung froze in place, his eyes widening briefly before he hastily shoved on his headphones and scurried away like a startled deer.

you frowned, puzzled. “what was that about?”

“that was so weird,” giselle snorted, biting back a laugh.

“ah, he’s just awkward like that,” haechan said with a casual wave of his hand. “probably saw me sitting with gorgeous girls” he locked eyes with you as he said this “and got scared.”

“anyways,” you rolled your eyes, but the slight twitch at the corner of your lips betrayed your amusement. “i have to go.”

“part-time obligations?” karina asked, raising an eyebrow knowingly.

“possibly,” you shrugged nonchalantly as you got up.

“can i come?” haechan asked.

you rolled your eyes at haechan’s hopeful grin as he stood up. “you wish,” you said, pushing him back into his seat before grabbing your bag and heading out.

your destination wasn’t your dorm or the library. instead, you made your way to the small studio you rented off-campus, tucked far enough away to avoid suspicion.

the studio was modest, just big enough to fit a bed, a desk, a small bathroom, and your filming setup. the air smelled faintly of vanilla, thanks to the diffuser you kept running to set the mood. locking the door behind you, you exhaled deeply and began preparing for the night.

the routine was familiar, almost comforting. you hopped into the shower, letting the warm water relax your muscles as you mentally ran through the checklist. after drying off, you slipped into your costume for the night—a delicate white lace dress with baby blue accents that hugged your body in all the right places.

at the vanity, you carefully applied your makeup, adding just enough to transform yourself into collette, your cam girl persona and paired with a small mask that covered your eyes and half of your nose. the wig was the final touch, a wavy style that framed your face perfectly, making you almost unrecognizable from your day-to-day self.

“let’s see,” you adjusted the camera angle to capture the bed and the soft glow of the fairy lights behind it.

you glanced at the table beside the bed, where the new toys you’d promised to showcase were neatly arranged. taking one last look in the mirror, you marveled at how different you looked.

“all right,” you muttered to yourself, glancing at your reflection one last time. “let’s get this show started.”

you hit start on your stream, and the chat immediately flooded with messages, emojis, and tips.

“hi, guys!” you greeted, your voice shifting into a higher, sweeter tone. “missed you all so much during the break.”

the messages came in rapid-fire:

“omg collette’s back!”

“you look stunning as always.”

“been waiting for this for weeks!”

you giggled, leaning closer to the camera so that your cleavage filled the frame. “you’re all too sweet. did you miss me that much?”

the chat practically exploded with affirmations, and the pings of tips coming in made you smile wider.

“i see you guys like the new outfit,” you teased, slowly standing to give them a full view of your legs, moisturized and shimmering under the warm light. “but i didn’t just dress up for no reason. i have a surprise for you tonight.”

you reached for the toys on the desk, holding one up for the camera. “look what i got during the break,” you said, biting your lip playfully. “i thought you’d want to help me break them in.”

the tips surged as viewers expressed their excitement, but one notification caught your eye. andyp4rk02 has tipped $100.

you grinned, recognizing the username instantly. “hi, andy,” you said, your tone dropping to something more intimate. “you’re late today. i thought you’d ditched me for someone else.”

a new ping followed, this time $50, accompanied by a highlighted message: “sorry ;) private livestream later to make it up to you?”

you laughed softly, leaning back on the bed. “hmm,” you tapped your chin thoughtfully. “i think i can squeeze you in on my busy schedule.” with a wink, you moved to grab one of the toys, careful not to linger too long on a single viewer.

“shall we begin?” you asked, spreading your legs slightly to reveal that you were wearing nothing underneath the flimsy lace dress.

���⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

on the other side of the screen, jisung sat in his dimly lit dorm, his face illuminated only by the glow of his computer. he’d barely made it back in time, his breath still heavy from the sprint across campus. it didn’t help that the second he clicked into your livestream, you were already spread out on the bed, teasing the camera with that perfect smile.

he adjusted his glasses nervously, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple. his heart was racing, but not from the run. no, it was from you. when you spread your legs, his breath hitched, and he felt his stomach tighten.

“you’re late today,” you’d said, and jisung shivered. god, it was like you were talking directly to him. well, you technically were, but still.

almost as if on autopilot, he unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down. his fingers wrapped around himself, and he leaned back in his chair, his gaze fixed on the screen.

the angle of the camera was perfect. from his perspective, it was easy to imagine that it wasn’t the pink dildo but his own dick sliding in and out of you.

“fuck,” he whispered under his breath as you slid the dildo inside yourself, your lips parting in a perfect "o" shape as you let out a soft moan.

“feels so good,” you breathed into the camera, your lashes fluttering. “can you make me feel good, too?”

“yes,” jisung groaned, his voice shaky as he gripped himself tighter. “god, yes.”

your moans grew louder, your body arching in a way that made his pulse skyrocket. his brows furrowed, and he bit down on his lip, trying to keep quiet so none of his roommates would hear.

you tilted your head back, the camera catching the curve of your neck and the way your chest rose and fell with each breath. “don’t stop,” you whimpered.

as your voice came through his headphones, sultry and sweet, he muttered to himself, “so perfect. so perfect it’s insane.”

his hand moved faster, his mind filled with nothing but the image of you—so close, yet so untouchable.

he leaned closer, his breath fogging the screen for a moment. “god… i can make you feel so much better than that piece of plastic,” he muttered, his tone almost resentful.

“you don’t even know what i’d do to you,” he whispered

in a minute, jisung came hard, his entire body jerking as his cum shot up and splattered directly onto his keyboard and monitor. he barely registered the mess he made until he heard the faint crackle of his PC struggling under the assault.

“no, no, no—fuck!” he exclaimed, his voice cracking as he scrambled to wipe the pc with the sleeve of his hoodie.

it was too late. the screen flickered, the image of you mid-moan freezing for a few painful seconds before the whole system shorted out with a pathetic wheeze and went black. jisung sat there in stunned silence for a moment, his hand still clutching the stained hoodie sleeve.

“shit…” he muttered, not out of concern for his destroyed PC but because he was now going to miss the rest of your live.

this wasn’t the first time this happened. clearly, his setup was already on its last legs from similar incidents but it still sent a wave of frustration through him.

he slumped back in his chair, running a hand through his damp hair. “guess i’ll just have to catch the replay,” he mumbled, though the thought didn’t satisfy him nearly as much.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

the first day of the semester loomed the next morning. you had promised yourself this was the year you’d start fresh. on time to every class, taking meticulous notes, and becoming the academic weapon you’d always meant to be.

of course, none of that happened.

you didn’t hear your alarm because you’d been up until 3 a.m. doing private livestreams for your top subscribers. normally, private sessions didn’t last more than 20 minutes, but andy had an uncanny way of distracting you with his playful, teasing messages, keeping you hooked well past the scheduled time.

you ran into your first class fifteen minutes late, panting slightly and trying not to look as frazzled as you felt. the professor shot you a disapproving look, but a quick apologetic smile from you had him stammering and waving you off. men are so simple, you thought smugly.

after quickly scanning the room, you noticed all the front-row seats were taken which left you with no choice but to settle near the back. you sighed and headed to an open seat in the second-to-last row, cursing your luck.

on your right sat some frat guy you vaguely recognized from the same house as karina’s boyfriend. his name escaped you, but since he was already asleep with his mouth hanging open, you didn’t bother introducing yourself.

on your left, the person was less immediately recognizable. he was hunched over, hoodie drawn tight around his face, typing furiously on his laptop. his long, slender fingers flew across the keyboard with precision, but he didn’t seem remotely aware of your presence.

you cleared your throat softly, hoping to get his attention. nothing.

you tried again, slightly louder this time, but his focus didn’t waver. finally, you tapped his shoulder lightly.

“excuse me, did i miss anything important?”

his fingers froze mid-typing, but he still didn’t look at you. instead, he tilted his laptop slightly in your direction, revealing a neatly formatted list of bullet points. most likely corrections to the syllabus the professor went over at the start of class.

“oh,” you said, caught off guard. “can i take a pic of that?”

he gave a small nod, still not meeting your eyes.

you quickly snapped a photo and smiled. “thank you so much,” you said, your tone warm as you instinctively squeezed his forearm in gratitude.

you felt his entire body stiffen under your touch, his arm tense as if you’d zapped him.

“mhm…” he finally muttered, his voice low and rough from disuse.

you glanced at him again, catching a glimpse of his side profile as he adjusted his hoodie. sharp jawline, glasses slightly askew, and lips pressed into a thin line as he quickly returned his focus to his laptop.

you tilted your head slightly, curiosity piqued. something about him seemed familiar, but you couldn’t quite place it.

“well, thanks again,” you said softly, giving him one last smile before turning back to face the professor.

behind his laptop, jisung exhaled shakily, the spot where you’d touched him burning.

jisung knew you were one of haechan’s friends. he’d watched you walk in and out of the dorm more times than he cared to admit. you were always laughing, tossing your hair over your shoulder in a way that made jisung’s eyes land on you unavoidably.

normally, he wouldn’t even glance twice at the girls his roommates brought around. they were all the same: loud, shallow, and obsessed with their reflection in any shiny surface.

but you weren’t like them.

he’d noticed it the first time you came over. how your voice was softer, more melodic, how you smelled like warm vanilla instead of the overpowering floral perfumes he hated. he remembered catching a glimpse of you bending down to grab something off the floor and how his gaze lingered too long on the curve of your legs before he snapped his head away.

since then, it had only gotten worse. it annoyed him that his brain seemed to remember every little detail about you. the way your lips always looked plump and shiny, as if you’d just licked them. how your laugh was this low, throaty sound that made his chest feel tight.

it was frustrating, how easily you wormed your way into his thoughts.

and now, here you were, sitting next to him. jisung felt trapped, his senses overwhelmed by your closeness. the faint rustle of your skirt, the way your knee accidentally grazed his thigh, the soft, almost unintentional hum you made as you shifted in your seat.

he knew it was all normal, just small, insignificant things. but to him, it felt like you were doing it on purpose. when you tapped his shoulder, jisung’s heart practically jumped out of his chest. his first thought was how warm your hand was.

his second thought was how unfair it was that you could touch him so casually.

“did i miss anything important?” you asked, your voice sweet, your smile even sweeter.

jisung didn’t respond right away. he was too busy trying not to look at the way your lips curved when you spoke. he knew if he opened his mouth, something embarrassing would come out. so instead, he tilted his laptop screen toward you, his fingers twitching against the keyboard. you asked if you could take a picture, and normally he didn’t like sharing his notes but he nodded before he could even stop himself.

“thank you so much,” you said, your voice dripping with warmth. and then, as if to kill him on the spot, you squeezed his forearm lightly.

jisung felt like static electricity was zipping through his body. his skin tingled where you touched him, and he stared straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge how his breath hitched.

she doesn’t even know what she’s doing, he thought bitterly, his jaw tightening. so damn oblivious.

when you crossed your legs, jisung’s eyes flickered downward before he could stop himself. he caught the briefest glimpse of skin, the hem of your skirt riding up just enough to reveal more of your thigh, and his face flushed.

stop it, he scolded himself, tearing his gaze away.

but he couldn’t help it. he hated himself for it, but he couldn’t stop the way his imagination spiraled. he wondered what it would feel like if you touched him for more than a second. if your fingers lingered. if you looked at him the way you looked at your stupid phone.

his hands curled into fists under the desk, nails digging into his palms. he shifted uncomfortably, trying to will his body into behaving, but your proximity was making it impossible to think straight.

when the professor announced that these would be your assigned seats for the semester, jisung nearly groaned out loud. six months. six months of sitting next to you, of your bare legs grazing his, of your infuriatingly sweet perfume clouding his brain.

how am i supposed to survive this?

jisung clenched his jaw, his gaze flicking to the faint sparkle of lotion on your legs again.

she probably doesn’t even know how many guys in this room would kill to sit where i’m sitting right now, he thought, biting the inside of his cheek.

and yet, despite everything, jisung couldn’t help but feel a sick sort of satisfaction at being this close to you. like he was privy to something no one else was.

and as messed up as it was, he liked that you didn’t know. that you had no idea how much space you took up in his mind.

he glanced sideways at you again, the corner of his lip twitching as you absentmindedly adjusted your skirt.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

jisung bought a new pc, but it wouldn’t be delivered until the end of the week due to delays in the post office. he hated waiting. the old one had been perfect for watching your livestreams but now he was stuck with his laptop. the smaller screen didn’t do you justice. everything felt cramped and wrong, your image reduced to something far too small and impersonal. it frustrated him to no end.

so, in his growing desperation, jisung resorted to something he swore he wouldn’t do: borrowing haechan’s pc. at first, he only asked when he knew haechan would be out for hours, spinning some lie about needing to work on assignments that required a better setup for coding. surprisingly, haechan didn’t question him. he barely seemed to care, too busy running off to hang out with you and your group of friends. lately, you all seemed closer than ever, constantly whispering and giggling amongst yourselves.

not that jisung cared, of course.

but ever since you’d started sitting next to him in class, he couldn’t help but notice you even more. the way you crossed and uncrossed your legs every six or seven minutes or tapped your temple when the professor talked about a complicated topic. he hated that he was paying attention to things he usually wouldn’t. it was a complete waste of time.

today, jisung was forcing himself to focus. he had an essay due tomorrow, and he’d been putting it off for way too long, distracted by you (clearly) and everything Collette— streams, photos, even the grainy replays he managed to dig up online. last night was supposed to be productive, but instead, he’d spent hours rewatching one of the camgirl’s older private streams. by the time he passed out, his laptop was dangerously close to falling off his bed, his boxers halfway down his legs, and his dick sore after a night of relentless jerking off.

he made his way to the library, determined to lock himself in one of the private study rooms and finally finish his work. he needed to focus. no distractions, no excuses.

but when he opened the door to the room he’d booked, all of his resolve shattered.

you were there.

your books and laptop scattered across the table, and you were leaning over, reaching for something just out of your grasp. jisung froze in the doorway, his breath catching as his eyes landed on you. or, more specifically, the strip of black lace peeking out from under your skirt.

he knew he should look away. but his body didn’t seem to get the memo. instead, his eyes remained fixed on the sight, his chest tightening as if someone had sucked all the air out of the room.

his fingers twitched at his side, gripping the strap of his bag until his knuckles turned white. why are you wearing that? he thought, the question racing through his mind before he could stop it. are you wearing it for someone?

you shifted slightly, turning your head as if you sensed someone behind you, and that was enough to snap him out of his trance.

“uh—sorry,” jisung croaked, his voice cracking embarrassingly. he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and cleared his throat. “i—uh—this is... my room. i mean, the room i booked.”

you turned fully to him, startled at first, but then your expression softened into a smile when you realized it was him.

“oh, jisung!” you said brightly, smoothing down your skirt. “i didn’t realize this room was taken. sorry, i’ve just been so distracted, i guess i wasn’t paying attention.”

he forced himself to meet your eyes, his heart hammering in his chest. you recognized him now. during the first week of the semester, you’d seemed to be trying to place him in your mind, but he figured you finally connected the dots and realized he was haechan’s roommate after all.

“it’s... fine,” he muttered, stepping fully into the room and closing the door behind him. the sound echoed louder than it should have, making him wince. “i didn’t know anyone would be here.”

“well, i can leave if you want,” you offered, gesturing toward your scattered books and notes. “but if you don’t mind sharing, i really need to finish studying for a test tomorrow.”

jisung hesitated, his mind racing. on one hand, the idea of sharing a small, enclosed space with you was borderline terrifying. but on the other hand, the thought of you leaving made his stomach twist in a way he didn’t like to think too hard about.

“no need,” he mumbled, setting his bag down at the far end of the table. “you can stay.”

you beamed at him, and he felt a weird mix of pride and dread settle in his chest.

“thanks! you’re a lifesaver.”

you turned back to your laptop, leaving him to settle into his seat. jisung tried his best to focus on his essay, but his eyes kept drifting to you: the way you twirled your pen between your fingers, the way your lips pursed as you concentrated, the way your skirt kept riding up with every slight movement.

he bit the inside of his cheek, forcing his gaze back to his screen. his essay wasn’t going to write itself, and the sooner he finished, the sooner he could escape this.

but as jisung stared blankly at the screen, the words refused to come to him. his mind was too fogged up, the image of your black lace panties flashing at him. he could still feel the phantom heat pooling uncomfortably low in his stomach.

he adjusted his glasses for the tenth time in five minutes, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie sleeve. he needed to concentrate, needed to shove every inappropriate thought out of his head and focus on the stupid essay that was due in less than twelve hours.

but every tap of your pen, every soft sigh as you read your notes pulled his attention like a magnet. he could feel his skin prickling under the weight of his own thoughts, and it was starting to make him nauseous.

you shifted in your chair, crossing one leg over the other, and jisung caught a glimpse of your bare thighs again. he wondered how soft they’d feel under his fingers. he clenched his jaw, staring harder at the blinking cursor on his laptop. just focus. just write.

“hey,” you said suddenly, your voice soft but startling in the quiet room. jisung’s head snapped up so fast his glasses slipped down his nose.

“yeah?” he croaked, his voice coming out embarrassingly hoarse. he cleared his throat and tried again. “what’s up?”

you held up a book. “do you know anything about this? it’s for my history class, but i’m kind of lost on what the professor’s looking for.”

jisung blinked at the book, trying to register the title through the haze clouding his brain. the sight of your manicured fingers gripping the edge of the hardcover didn’t help his focus.

“uh… yeah, i think so,” he mumbled, his words fumbling over themselves. “i took that class last semester. what’s the assignment?”

you slid your chair closer to his, flipping the book open to a highlighted section. jisung stiffened as you leaned in, your shoulder brushing against his.

he could smell your perfume better now. it made his head swim, and his palms sweat.

“here,” you said, pointing to a passage. “i’m supposed to write an analysis on this, but honestly, it’s not making any sense to me.”

jisung forced himself to look at the page, his eyes skimming over the text even though he couldn’t process a single word. your proximity was unbearable, and the way you tilted your head to look at him made him hyper-aware of every inch of space between you.

“um,” he started, his voice cracking again. “it’s… about, uh, symbolism, i think. like how they use imagery to—”

his words faltered as your leg shifted, pressing briefly against his under the table.

“oh, i get it now!” you said, your eyes lighting up as you turned back to the book. “thanks, jisung, you’re really helpful.”

he swallowed hard, nodding stiffly as you returned to your side of the table. his hands trembled slightly as he adjusted his laptop, trying desperately to block out the lingering warmth of your touch.

as the first hour dragged on, jisung realized he’d barely touched his essay. instead, he found himself cataloging every little thing you did, learning more about your quirks and mannerisms than the topic he was supposed to be researching.

he noticed the way you squinted slightly when reading something closely. do you need glasses? the thought struck him out of nowhere, and the idea of you wearing a pair made his throat tighten and his dick stir to life.

you only seemed to use blue highlighters and matching blue post-it notes. the monochrome dedication was oddly satisfying to watch. jisung noticed you had a habit of twirling the highlighter between your fingers when you were deep in thought, the motion almost hypnotic.

when you weren’t sipping on your drink or snacking on something you’d fidget endlessly, picking up your phone, or tapping your nails on the table in an uneven rhythm. once, you opened an app but closed it just as quickly, as if scolding yourself for getting distracted. jisung smirked at that.

he noticed the way you pouted while typing, your lips forming a subtle, natural curve. every time you got stuck on something, you’d grab a blank page from your notebook and start scribbling aimlessly sometimes doodling stars or flowers in the margins, other times writing the same word over and over like you were trying to etch it into your brain.

you also had a habit of adjusting your necklace every few minutes, fiddling with the pendant as if grounding yourself. jisung wondered if it had some kind of sentimental value.

and then there was the small gasp you let out every time you found a passage you liked, quickly followed by you underlining it with almost comical precision. jisung thought it was cute, though he tried to push that thought away.

by the time the second hour rolled around, he was practically vibrating with tension. not just from the overwhelming presence of you, but from his own failure to accomplish anything.

you sighed softly and closed your laptop, stretching in your seat with a lazy grace that made his stomach flip. the movement caused your shirt to ride up slightly, exposing a sliver of skin and a tiny birthmark just above your hip bone.

jisung’s eyes widened. it was a small, and it was a flushed, pinkish hue, vaguely resembling the shape of a flower petal—or maybe a heart if he squinted.

why does that look so familiar?

he frowned, his brain scrambling to piece together the connection. it snagged at him, like an itch he couldn’t quite reach. had he seen it on you before? no, that didn’t make sense.

and then it hit him.

his heart stuttered as he remembered one of the streams he’d watched not long ago… collette’s stream. she’d been wearing lingerie that night, black with sheer panels, and at one point, she’d adjusted the waistband, revealing a glimpse of a tiny birthmark right above the hip.

holy shit.

jisung’s face burned as he realized the truth, his hands clenching into fists under the table. he couldn’t believe it. the girl he’d been obsessing over online, the one he’d jerked off to more times than he could count, was sitting right next to him.

he stumbled out of his seat, movements clumsy and frantic as he fumbled to gather his things. his hands trembled slightly as he zipped his backpack and he mumbled some half-formed excuse about having plans with haechan. the words tumbled out so quickly they were barely coherent. before you could even process what he was saying, let alone respond, he was already at the door, practically tripping over himself in his rush to leave.

“what an odd kid,” you giggled to yourself, shaking your head at his bizarre behavior.

he was strange, sure, but undeniably cute in his awkwardness. you’d always had a soft spot for guys who didn’t know what to do with themselves, and jisung was no exception. there was something endearing about the way he seemed perpetually out of place, like he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. but beneath the oversized hoodies and baggy sweatpants, you could tell he was hiding something.

he had broad shoulders that stretched the fabric of his clothes in a way that made you want to see more, and you still hadn’t forgotten the time he’d stripped off his hoodie on that unbearably hot day. the hem of his shirt had lifted with it, giving you the briefest glimpse of his waist, narrow and impossibly toned. you’d been thinking about that moment more often than you’d like to admit.

sitting next to him in class had only amplified things. you didn’t miss the way his eyes darted toward you every few minutes, his gaze lingering on your legs before he quickly looked away, as if he thought you wouldn’t notice. that’s exactly why you made it a point to only wear skirts to that class; short ones, ones that made it impossible for him not to look. it was a game, one you were starting to enjoy far too much.

you liked his hands too. he had large hands with long, slender fingers that flew clumsily over the keys of his laptop. you caught yourself staring at them during class, imagining how they’d feel against your skin, the way they’d grip your waist or tangle in your hair. you wondered if they were soft or if they’d leave a pleasant roughness behind.

his glasses added to the appeal, big-framed and slightly crooked on his nose. they couldn’t hide his soft, pretty eyes, though, or the moles scattered across his pale skin. every detail about him seemed perfectly crafted to make him irresistible in the most unassuming way.

but then there was the question that had been gnawing at the back of your mind, the one you couldn’t seem to shake: was jisung really your top spender? your friends had been so sure, pointing out all the coincidences, and you couldn’t deny that it was starting to feel like too much to ignore.

you smiled to yourself at the thought, unable to help the way your lips curled into something slightly wicked. haechan had mentioned how much time jisung spent in his room, his activities hardly a secret if you listened to the muffled sounds that occasionally slipped through the walls.

the idea made your pulse quicken, a thrill running down your spine as you considered how to take things to the next level. if jisung was your top spender then he was already yours in ways he probably didn’t even realize.

you toyed with the idea of making the first move, testing the waters to see just how far you could push him. he was skittish, easily flustered, and you had no doubt that one well-placed touch or whispered word would send him into a complete meltdown.

you suspected that if you really went for it, jisung might just have a heart attack on the spot. and for some reason, that thought only made you want to do it more.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

the next time you met him in class, you decided it was time to confirm once and for all if he was into you. you dressed for the occasion, a skirt that showed just enough leg to make him squirm, paired with a low-cut top and your favorite push-up bra, the one that made your boobs look perfect. you threw on a sweater for good measure, unzipping it casually when you sat next to him, just enough to reveal the curve of your collarbones and the top of your cleavage.

“hey, jisung!” you said, your voice soft and lilting.

he barely looked at you, his lips moving in what you assumed was a greeting, but it was so quiet you couldn’t make out the words. he didn’t hold your gaze for more than a second, and from the way he kept staring at his laptop, you wondered if he’d even noticed the effort you put into your outfit.

you leaned in slightly, catching the faint scent of his detergent mixed with something musky. “sungie?” you whispered, your voice low and sweet.

his jaw clenched at the nickname, and his hands froze over his laptop keys. “hm?” he finally managed, his eyes flickering up to your face for the briefest of moments before darting away again.

“do you want to work on the project together?” you asked, tilting your head innocently.

his brows furrowed as he blinked at you, his expression caught somewhere between confusion and panic. “what… what project?” he stammered, his voice shaky, his breath audibly hitching when his gaze unintentionally dropped to your chest.

“the one he just announced,” you said, nodding toward the screen where the professor had outlined the details of the group assignment.

you watched as his Adam's apple bobbed with a nervous swallow, and he peeled his eyes away from you with visible effort. “oh… uh…” he trailed off, biting his lip. the gesture drew your attention to just how plush and soft they looked.

“if you don’t want to, it’s okay,” you said, leaning back slightly, your pout deliberate and perfectly executed. “i just thought since you helped me with my assignment last time, you’d be a good partner.”

he glanced at you again, his gaze lingering this time, as if trying to gauge your expression. your wide, hopeful eyes seemed to make his decision for him. “okay…” he mumbled, the word barely audible.

“really? yay!” you said, your voice bright with excitement as you reached out and wrapped your hands around his arm in a playful squeeze. the movement was quick, but enough for your chest to press lightly against him, the warmth of your body radiating through his hoodie.

jisung stiffened immediately, every nerve in his body firing off alarms. the combination of your softness and the faint scent of vanilla clinging to your skin was almost enough to send him over the edge. he inhaled deeply, trying to keep his composure, but the air felt thick and suffocating, and he was perilously close to letting out a moan that would’ve humiliated him in front of the entire room.

“i promise i won’t be a burden,” you added, flashing him a dazzling smile that showcased your perfectly sized teeth. “i’ll do my part, i swear.”

he nodded mechanically, his brain too messed up with the feel of your body against his and the lingering image of your lips curling into that smile. “y-yeah…” he muttered, his voice cracking slightly.

as you turned your attention back to the professor, jisung exhaled slowly, his pulse racing. his hands gripped his laptop so tightly his knuckles turned white, and he realized with growing dread that this partnership might actually kill him.

when class ended, you stayed behind, which was unusual since you were usually one of the first to dart out the door. as jisung zipped up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, he noticed you looking at him expectantly. he panicked. did he have something of yours?

jisung glanced nervously at his belongings, double-checking as if your pencil or notebook might have somehow ended up with him. but you didn’t say anything. the silence stretched awkwardly until you finally stood up.

since the rows were so narrow, your movement brought you close… too close. jisung gulped as you stepped into his space, your perfume wrapping around him. he tightened his grip on his backpack straps.

“do you wanna start working on the project now? i have classes every day, and my evenings are pretty busy, so…” your voice trailed off meaningfully. jisung knew. oh, he knew. your evenings were reserved for livestreams. his evenings were also reserved for your livestreams. obviously, the project couldn’t cut into those sacred hours.

“uh, okay… do you wanna go to the library?” he managed, pushing his glasses up his nose. they kept sliding down because he had to crane his neck to look at you from this close distance.

“sure! next time, we can work at your dorm. i’d offer mine, but we have a strict no-boys policy in the apartment,” you said with a laugh, then added, “though my roommates break that rule all the time.”

“what about you?” the question tumbled out of jisung’s mouth before his brain could intercept it. his eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe he asked that

but you didn’t seem fazed. instead, you grinned. “you know, a lady doesn’t kiss and tell,” you teased, throwing in a wink that made his brain implode just a little.

as you spoke, jisung’s gaze flitted over you again—your mannerisms, your voice, that unmistakable charisma. the longer he looked, the more it hit him like a sledgehammer to the face. how had he not recognized you as collette sooner? sure, you wore a mask on the streams, and your hair was styled differently, but it was unmistakable now. you were her. and yet, standing here in front of him, you felt even more unattainable.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

at the library again, you couldn’t find a private room since you hadn’t booked ahead, so you settled for a secluded table tucked into the corner of the study area. it was jisung’s favorite spot on campus, not that he’d ever admit that to you. he didn’t want to look more like a loser than he already did.

you’d tied your hair up in a ponytail, and jisung wished you hadn’t. the simple change opened up your neck and collarbones, exposing more skin for his eyes to betray him over. he swore he could count the faint freckles scattered across your shoulders if he stared long enough. and, god, did he want to.

jisung sighed, pressing his palms into his eyes in an attempt to reset his brain. he needed to focus. if he was going to make it through this study session, he needed to stop thinking about your freckles or how your lip gloss shimmered every time your mouth moved.

focus, jisung. he started mentally listing the least sexy things he could think of: spongebob, frogs, khaki jeans, loud chewing. he even dredged up the memory of his fourth-grade math teacher, a grumpy woman he was convinced secretly hated him. it worked, until he realized you were talking to him, and he’d been staring straight past you like an idiot.

“sorry, what was that?” he blurted, blinking rapidly and focusing in on your glossy lips forming the last word of whatever you’d said.

you tilted your head slightly, your ponytail swaying with the movement. “i said, do you want to split up the research? or do you just want to work on the same section together?”

“uh…” jisung’s brain scrambled for footing, his face heating up again. “splitting it up is fine. yeah. let’s do that.”

you smiled at him, and he swore it felt like the library got ten degrees hotter. “great! i’ll take the first half, and you can take the second?”

“sure,” he mumbled, fumbling to pull out his laptop. as you turned back to your notes, jisung caught himself glancing at your neck and down to your cleavage again. frogs, he thought desperately. frogs. khaki jeans. loud chewing. but none of it helped.

he needed a cold shower. desperately. every time you leaned into him, jisung’s resolve cracked a little more. he was barely hanging on as it was, his left hand glued to his lap, pressing down in a feeble attempt to hide the semi he’d been sporting for the last twenty minutes.

“what do you think of this?” you asked, sliding your laptop toward him. your voice was sweet, your tone light and inviting, but jisung couldn’t focus on anything except how close you were.

“that’s good,” he mumbled quickly, trying to sound casual even though his throat felt like sandpaper.

“really?” you tilted your head, eyeing him skeptically. “you say that about everything i show you.”

“cause you’re really good at this,” he blurted out. he pressed harder on his lap, his fingers twitching in frustration.

you laughed softly, the sound making his heart stutter. then, to his horror, you gave him a slow once-over, your eyes narrowing slightly as you studied him. “you okay? you look tense.”

“yup, all good,” he said too quickly, his voice high-pitched. he glued his eyes to his laptop, pretending to focus on the passage in front of him, though the words blurred together into an unintelligible mess. please stop looking at me, he begged silently. please.

but instead, you cocked your head, resting your chin in your hand. “you know,” you began thoughtfully, “you sound like someone i know.”

jisung froze. fuck.

his mind went blank, panic flooding his system. his ears burned, and he felt a bead of sweat slide down the back of his neck. did you figure it out? do you know?

“but it couldn’t possibly be,” you said, shaking your head slightly as you turned back to your notes. “you’re too different.”

he released a shaky breath, his heart pounding so violently it felt like it might burst through his ribs. his lips pressed into a tight line as he risked a glance at you. so you did remember andy. jisung had assumed that with so many followers, even your most loyal supporter might fade into the background of your memory. but the private livestreams, the filthy words jisung had whispered that made you moan harder, all the praises and compliments he showered you with—it seemed those had stuck with you. because you remembered his voice.

“i’m gonna use the restroom really quick,” you said, standing up abruptly.

jisung’s eyes followed you as you walked away, the sway of your hips distracting him momentarily before reality snapped back into focus. as soon as you were out of sight, he groaned, his shoulders slumping as he looked down at his lap and the unmistakable tent that had formed there.

he needed to take care of this. now.

standing up, jisung winced at the sensitivity and began making his way toward the bathroom, his head down in an attempt to avoid eye contact with anyone. but just as he approached the hallway, he caught the sound of muffled voices. one of them raised, the other low and pleading. his steps faltered when he recognized your voice.

he crept closer and pressed himself against the wall, just barely peeking around the corner. there you were, gesturing wildly, your brows furrowed in anger as you stood toe-to-toe with someone jisung instantly recognized as sungchan, the captain of the basketball team.

“i told you to leave me alone,” you snapped, your voice sharp. “texting me from taro’s phone? really? now you’re dragging other people into this? why can’t you just understand that i want nothing to do with you anymore?”

“y/n, please,” sungchan said, his tone dripping with desperation. “i don’t know what else you want me to do. i’ve apologized a million times, and i’ve cut all communication with her. i haven’t seen her in months.”

he took a step closer, but you shoved him back by the chest.

“you should’ve done that before fucking her, don’t you think?” you laughed bitterly, shaking your head in disbelief.

“hey, it didn’t mean a thing to me, you know that,” sungchan said, his voice softening as he reached for your hip and squeezed. “you’re the only one i want.”

your body stiffened at his touch, and you glared up at him. “don’t touch me,” you hissed, but he didn’t move, his grip firm.

jisung’s jaw clenched. his fists balled at his sides as his eye twitched. why the hell was this guy touching you when it was clear you didn’t want him to?

“c’mon, baby,” sungchan purred, leaning in dangerously close to your neck. “you know i’m the only one who can make you feel good.”

before jisung could stop himself, he was stepping out from behind the corner. he cleared his throat loudly. the sound startled no one, so he did it again, this time pairing it with a sharp, “hey.”

his voice came out deeper than he expected, reverberating in the narrow hallway.

sungchan’s head snapped up, pulling away from your neck as he turned to look at the interruption. your eyes widened when they landed on jisung, standing there taller than usual, his broad shoulders squared.

“just wanted to check if you were alright,” jisung said, his gaze fixed on you, his voice steady.

sungchan’s expression darkened as his grip on your hip tightened. “and who the hell are you?” he spat, his tone venomous.

jisung didn’t flinch at sungchan’s hostility. his dark eyes flickered to your hip, where sungchan’s hand still rested, and then back to sungchan’s face.

“her partner,” jisung said evenly, his tone calm yet carrying a subtle edge. technically, he wasn’t lying, you were his group partner. “and she doesn’t look too comfortable right now.”

you glanced at jisung, your lips parting in surprise. sungchan let out a dry laugh, his hand finally dropping from your hip as he turned to fully face jisung. he towered over most people, but jisung stood his ground, unbothered by the difference in height.

“you’re her partner?” sungchan sneered, looking jisung up and down with a smirk that screamed condescension. “you don’t seem like her type.”

jisung’s jaw tightened, but his expression remained neutral. he looked at you instead, his voice softening slightly. “you sure you’re okay?”

your lips pressed together as you nodded quickly, your hands fidgeting at your sides. “i’m fine, jisung. really.”

but sungchan wasn’t done. “jisung, huh?” he repeated, his smirk widening. “sounds familiar. oh, wait—” he tilted his head, mockingly stroking his chin. “aren’t you that quiet little nobody who’s always hiding in haechan’s shadow?”

jisung didn’t react to the insult, though his nails dug into his palms. “that’s me,” he said with a shrug, his voice still maddeningly steady. “and you’re the guy who can’t take a hint and harasses girls.”

sungchan’s smirk dropped instantly, his expression hardening. “what did you just say?”

“you heard me,” jisung replied, his voice low. he adjusted his glasses with one hand, his confidence only making sungchan’s irritation grow. “she asked you to leave her alone, didn’t she? or was that too complicated for you to understand?”

you blinked at jisung, momentarily stunned at his boldness. sungchan, on the other hand, took a step forward, his fists clenching.

“listen here, you little shi—”

“stop!” your voice cut through the tension. both jisung and sungchan turned to look at you. you stepped between them, your expression firm as you faced sungchan. “i meant what i said, sungchan. this is over. stop calling me, stop texting me, stop showing up where i am. just—stop. i don’t want to see you anymore.”

sungchan’s jaw tightened, his nostrils flaring as he stared at you. “fine,” he finally said, his voice clipped. “but don’t come crawling back when you realize no one else is gonna treat you like i did.”

jisung couldn’t hold back the quiet scoff that escaped him, and sungchan shot him a glare before storming off down the hallway.

as the echo of sungchan’s footsteps faded, the tension in your shoulders eased slightly. you turned to jisung, your expression both grateful and embarrassed.

“thanks,” you said softly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “you didn’t have to do that.”

jisung shrugged, his face a little pink as he adjusted his glasses again. “it’s no big deal. i just… couldn’t stand there and do nothing.”

“still, i appreciate it. my knight in shining glasses” you gave him a small smile.

jisung’s ears burned at the nickname, and he looked away, suddenly very interested in the floor. “ha, yeah.”

you laughed lightly “c’mon,” you said, gesturing toward the library’s main area. “let’s continue working”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

you continued having sessions for the project after class, and slowly, jisung started coming out of his shell. he still mumbled and stuttered every now and then, especially when your attention lingered on him for too long, but he was starting to hold actual conversations now. and once he got going, it was hard to stop him. he’d gush about the most random things, like his favorite video game characters or how much he hated remakes of old horror movies. sometimes, he’d pull up conspiracy theory videos about aliens on his phone, his voice picking up speed as he rambled about the possibility of extraterrestrial life.

“i mean, think about it… how could we be the only ones in this massive universe? that’s just statistically improbable,” he’d say, adjusting his glasses as he leaned closer to show you grainy footage of a supposed UFO. you’d nod along, amused by his enthusiasm, even if half of it went over your head.

you also learned jisung had a thing for metal music. he shyly pulled out his phone one day to show you his collection of signed albums from bands you’d never even heard of. “this one’s from when they did a secret show in busan,” he explained, his fingers tracing the signatures like they were sacred artifacts. “and this? their first album. impossible to find in good condition.”

“wow, you’re really into this,” you said, smirking as you scrolled through the pictures. “so... are you in a band or something?”

he flushed immediately, shaking his head. “no, no! i’m not cool enough for that,” he muttered.

you couldn’t help but smile. “i think you’re cool,” you said simply, and his ears turned pink.

but jisung’s curiosity didn’t stop at music or aliens. he was fascinated by the simplest things. one time, you brought a new lip gloss to class—the kind that didn’t smudge or rub off no matter what. jisung had been so impressed that he begged you to show him how it worked.

“wait, so it stays on? like, even if you eat something? how?” he asked, eyes wide as you swiped some on the back of your hand.

“even if i kissed you right now it wouldn’t come off”

“oh… w-what’s in it? do you have the ingredients list?” he stuttered, his hand coming up to his face to hide the blush on his cheeks.

you laughed. “are you serious right now?”

“yes! this is pretty cool,” he said shyly. “i need to know.”

he was, all in all, a total nerd. but you found that endearing. you liked how he could get so passionate about the smallest details, even if he didn’t realize how cute he looked when he did it.

what you wanted to know most, though, was if he was really loaded. after all, someone had to be, to spend eighteen thousand dollars like that. one particular evening, while you were working on the project at a cafe, you decided to subtly bring it up.

“so... you said you tutor a lot of students, right?” you asked, stirring your iced coffee.

jisung nodded, flipping through his notes. “yeah. it’s decent money, especially before exams.”

“and you... do homework for them too?” you added, raising an eyebrow.

he hesitated, looking a little guilty. “only when they pay extra,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “but yeah. it’s not a big deal.”

“huh,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “you must be really good at it to make that much money.”

“i mean, i guess,” he mumbled, avoiding your gaze. “but it’s not that much.”

“you sure about that?” you teased, giving him a knowing look. “because eighteen thousand isn’t exactly chump change.”

his head snapped up, and for a moment, he looked like a scared hamster. “w-what?” he stammered.

“nothing,” you said, smiling innocently.

he went back to his notes, but you didn’t miss the way his hand trembled slightly as he flipped the page. interesting.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

the next time jisung almost had a heart attack because of you was after one particularly grueling day of tutoring half of sungchan’s frat. he’d spent hours going over equations with guys who clearly had no interest in learning and had been on edge the whole time, doing his best to avoid running into sungchan himself. all the bravery he’d mustered at the library had definitely worn off.

he finally made it back to his dorm, exhausted and ready to collapse, only to freeze in the doorway at the sight of you sitting prettily on the edge of his bed, flipping through one of the XXX magazines sitting on his desk. his eyes widened, and his mouth opened to say something, but no words came out.

you noticed him and laughed at his expression. “one of your roommates let me in,” you said, your voice light and teasing. “i think his name’s jaemin?”

jisung blinked, his brain struggling to process. “uh… yeah, jaemin,” he managed to stammer.

“i came to see haechan, but he wasn’t in,” you explained, crossing your legs in a way jisung was so familiar with now. “so i thought i’d pay my new best friend a visit.”

his stomach did a full somersault as he realized you were talking about him. “oh… uhm, hi” he said weakly, scratching the back of his head as he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.

“hi,” you echoed with a grin, holding up the magazine. “some interesting reading material you’ve got here.”

“t-that’s not mine,” he blurted out, his face flushing red. “it’s haechan’s. i swear.”

you tilted your head, clearly unconvinced but too amused to care. “no need to be embarrassed,” you said casually, placing the magazine back on his desk. “you’re not the first boy in whose room i’ve found porn.”

jisung’s ears burned, and he had no idea how to respond to that. “right…” he muttered, shifting awkwardly.

“your room’s cleaner than i expected,” you added, glancing around.

“did you think i’d be messy?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“hmm, more like… sloppy,” you said, arching a brow in a way that could only be described as suggestive.

jisung swallowed hard, unsure if you were flirting or just messing with him. either way, his brain was short-circuiting. “oh?” he said, his voice coming out higher than he intended.

you laughed and leaned back on your hands, watching him with that same playful glint in your eyes. “relax, jisung. i’m just messing with you.”

he let out a small, nervous chuckle and stepped further into the room, trying to act like your presence wasn’t completely throwing him off. “so, uh… what brings you here?” he asked, carefully setting his backpack down.

“just bored,” you said with a shrug. “and since you’re my new best friend, i figured you’d entertain me.”

he blinked. “entertain?” shit, he almost got hard just hearing that.

“obviously,” you said, grinning. “you’re way more fun than haechan anyway.”

jisung doubted that, but he wasn’t about to argue. instead, he sat down at his desk, desperately trying to ignore how pretty you looked sitting on his bed.

“how about you show me how to play that game you talked about?” you asked, walking over to him and resting your arm on his gaming chair.

jisung blinked up at you, startled. “you wanna learn how to play League of Legends?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

“sure. it sounded fun when you told me about it,” you said with a casual shrug.

“uhm, okay then,” jisung said, his voice a little higher than usual as he leaned to flip the power switch on his PC. then he paused, realizing he didn’t have an extra chair. “wait, let me go borrow haechan’s chair,” he said quickly, jogging out of the room.

when jisung returned, chair in hand, his steps faltered. you were leaning over his desk, your skirt riding up just enough to show him what color were your panties today. his first thought, entirely unhelpful, was how badly he wanted to bend you over that desk. his second thought, unfortunately delayed, was that you had turned on his monitor.

and on the screen, clear as day, was his account page.

“so, it was you,” you said, the tone of your voice laced with triumph.

jisung’s eyes widened, panic flaring to life. “what—what are you talking about?” he stammered, dropping the chair with a clatter.

“andyp4rk02,” you said, your voice lilting with satisfaction as you turned to face him, crossing your arms. “i felt it was you. but i’m glad to have a confirmation now.”

jisung froze, his breath catching in his throat as his brain scrambled for something to say. “i—uh—what—”

“you’re not even gonna try to deny it?” you teased, stepping closer to him, the corner of your mouth quirking up in a smirk. “honestly, i was starting to think i was crazy. but you just confirmed it.”

“i—it’s not—” jisung’s voice cracked as he tried to speak, his mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air.

you tilted your head, watching him struggle with an almost predatory gleam in your eyes. “relax, jisung. i’m not mad,” you said, your tone softer now, though it didn’t erase the teasing edge. “in fact…” you took another step closer, your voice lowering slightly. “i’m intrigued.”

“huh?” jisung’s voice was barely above a whisper, his throat dry as he tried to process what you were saying.

“the one thing i’m most curious about,” you said, taking a step closer, your tone casual but your gaze sharp, “is how you… a freshman, who doesn’t seem to have a job besides tutoring, managed to splurge thousands of dollars on me?”

jisung swallowed hard, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. “i just…” he mumbled, looking away, his ears burning as he avoided your piercing gaze.

“c’mon, don’t be shy.” you leaned in slightly, your smirk widening. “andy would’ve bent me over that desk over there and started spilling every single thing i asked for.”

jisung’s eyes snapped up to your face, wide with shock. how did you know exactly what had flashed through his mind mere seconds ago?

“s-sorry,” jisung stammered, looking like he wanted to shrink into the floor. “this is just… are you really not uncomfortable? with me, i mean?”

“why would i be?” you asked, tilting your head as though the question itself was ridiculous. “i’ve gotten to know you better now. i know you’re not a weirdo or anything.”

jisung blinked, staring at you like you’d just told him the sky wasn’t blue. “but i—i mean, with everything i said to you before… all of that—”

“all of that was online,” you cut him off smoothly, your tone light. “and honestly? i think it’s kinda cute how much you adored me. well, adore me,” you corrected with a sly grin.

jisung’s jaw dropped slightly, his face somehow heating even more. “you… think it’s cute?”

“of course,” you said with a soft shrug, your tone so casual it was almost disarming. “you’ve been sweet this whole time, even when you were trying so hard to hide it. honestly, i’m flattered.”

your lips curled into a teasing smile as you leaned in just slightly. “but now, i want to know—” your voice dipped lower, warm and slow. your eyes locked with his, drawing him in without effort. “how did you manage it? the money, i mean.”

jisung swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he struggled to form a coherent response. “well… uhm…” he shifted nervously, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “i… saved up a lot of money since i was a kid,” he began, his voice quiet but steady as he forced himself to meet your gaze.

“i made a system,” he continued, his words gaining a bit more confidence as he explained. “i cashed a lot of favors, even in school. i’ve been doing other people’s homework since primary, practically. also…” he hesitated, his eyes flickering to the ground for a moment before darting back to you. “my dad… he started giving me an allowance every month when i was 14, and i never really used it for anything. so… i’ve just been saving. for a long time.”

you tilted your head slightly, clearly intrigued. “wow,” you murmured, crossing your arms in thought. the movement wasn’t intentional—or maybe it was—but it pushed your cleavage up just enough to make jisung’s brain stutter.

his eyes flickered down for half a second before he froze, his face turning crimson. his chest tightened, his breath shallow, because he was sure that if he so much as brushed against you right now, he’d moan like some desperate, pathetic fool.

“that’s… impressive,” you added, breaking the silence, though your tone had shifted, tinged with something almost playful. “you must’ve been really dedicated to saving all that up.” your words hung in the air, light and teasing, but your gaze lingered, as if searching for something deeper.

“y-yeah,” jisung stammered, his hands fidgeting by his sides. “i guess i’ve just… always been good with managing money.”

“clearly,” you said with a grin. you leaned in slightly, your voice dropping just enough to send his heart into overdrive. “it’s kinda sexy, you know.”

jisung’s brain went blank, his entire body tensing as if he couldn’t process what he’d just heard. sexy? he repeated in his mind, struggling not to outwardly combust. his mouth opened as if to respond, but no words came out, and the only sound was the faint hum of his computer in the background.

“you okay?” you asked, your smile widening as you noticed his wide-eyed expression.

“y-yeah,” he managed to croak out, though his voice cracked slightly.

“relax, jisung,” you said, stepping closer, your fingers brushing the edge of his sleeve. his breath hitched, and you couldn’t help but smile at how utterly helpless he looked under your gaze.

“i-i am,” he stammered, but the way he gripped the desk behind him for support said otherwise.

you laughed softly, tilting your head as your hand slid up his arm, fingers ghosting over his bicep before trailing down to rest lightly on his chest. “sure you are,” you murmured, leaning in so your lips were just inches from his ear. “you’ve been nervous since you entered the room.”

“i… i’m not nervous,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

“oh, really?” you teased, letting your hand slip under the hem of his shirt. your fingertips grazed the warm skin of his stomach, and he jolted, sucking in a sharp breath. “but you’re trembling.”

“t-that’s not—” his words were cut off when your other hand came up to brush the hair out of his face, your touch gentle yet firm as you tilted his chin up to meet your eyes.

“you’re so cute,” you whispered, your thumb lightly grazing his jawline. his eyes widened, his lips parting slightly.

“you’ve been so sweet to me, sungie,” you continued, your voice dropping lower. “how could i not want to thank you?”

“t-thank me?” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.

you didn’t answer right away. instead, you leaned in, pressing a featherlight kiss to his cheek, so close to the corner of his mouth that he let out an involuntary whimper. “mhmm,” you hummed, your lips brushing against his skin as you moved to the other side, leaving a trail of soft kisses along his jawline.

jisung’s breathing was ragged now, his chest rising and falling rapidly as your hand slid further up his shirt, your nails grazing lightly against his ribs. “is this okay?” you asked softly, your lips hovering near his ear.

“y-yeah,” he managed to choke out, his voice trembling.

“good,” you murmured, pressing a kiss just below his ear, then another on the side of his neck. his hands gripped the edge of the desk so tightly his knuckles were white, and he let out a shaky breath, his head tilting slightly to give you more access.

you smirked, trailing your lips back up to his cheek, stopping just short of his lips. “you’re so quiet now,” you teased, your fingers lightly tracing circles on his stomach. “no more stuttering?”

“i… i don’t…” jisung panted, his words trailing off as your lips brushed against the corner of his mouth.

“you don’t what?” you asked, pulling back just enough to meet his dazed gaze. his eyes were half-lidded, his face flushed, and his lips parted as he struggled to catch his breath.

before he could answer, the sharp buzz of your phone vibrating broke the moment. you blinked, startled, and jisung let out a shaky exhale, his head dropping back against the wall in relief… or frustration.

“hold that thought,” you said, your voice still low as you reached into your pocket. your fingers lingered on his stomach for a moment before you pulled away completely.

jisung watched in a daze as you checked your phone, your lips pressing together. “looks like i’ve got to go,” you said, slipping the device back into your pocket.

“w-what?” he stammered, his voice cracking again as he stared at you in disbelief. “y-you’re leaving?”

“for now,” you said with a wink, stepping back and smoothing your skirt. “don’t miss me too much, okay?”

jisung could only nod dumbly, still leaning against the desk like his legs might give out at any moment.

“oh, and jisung?” you added, pausing at the door. he looked up, his wide eyes meeting yours. “you might want to take care of… that.” your gaze flicked downward for just a moment, and his face turned a brilliant shade of red as he scrambled to adjust his shirt.

you laughed, shooting him one last playful smile before disappearing out the door, leaving him flustered, breathless, and utterly unable to think about anything else but how good your lips felt on his skin.

that night, jisung lost count of how many times he jerked off. by the time he was done, he was so spent he didn’t even bother cleaning up properly. he passed out with a mess of cum smeared across his abdomen, his sheets damp and sticking to his skin.

the sound of retching woke him up.

he groaned, squinting as the sunlight poured directly onto his face. blinking sleepily, he turned his head to see haechan standing at the foot of his bed, his face twisted into an expression of pure disgust.

“look at the state of you…” haechan said, shaking his head like a disappointed parent. “seriously, dude, your dick’s gonna disintegrate if you keep going like this.”

“get out,” jisung groaned, voice hoarse. he rolled over, pulling the blanket halfway over his head to shield himself from both the sunlight and his roommate’s judgment.

“i would, but i have a message from y/n,”

jisung sat up at the sound of your name. his heart pounding as if he’d been jolted with electricity.

“she said she can’t meet you at the library today…”

jisung froze, the sudden buzz of energy deflating into cold panic. “oh,” he said softly, his voice laced with disappointment.

his mind immediately began spiraling. were you avoiding him? now that you knew he was andy, did you think he was a creep? were you disgusted? did you regret what happened yesterday? every terrible scenario played in his head as he stared blankly ahead, anxiety tightening its grip on his chest.

before he could spiral further, haechan continued, dragging out his words for dramatic effect.

“…she said she wants to meet you somewhere else instead.”

jisung’s head snapped toward him. “what?”

“she said she sent you the address and tried calling, but your phone’s off.”

his eyes darted to the floor where his phone lay facedown. practically leaping out of bed, he stumbled over the blanket, barely managing to stay upright as he grabbed the phone and plugged it into the charger.

“relax, dude. she’s not breaking up with you,” haechan said with a smirk.

“shut up,” jisung muttered, his focus entirely on the phone as it turned back on. when the screen finally lit up, he saw your message waiting for him.

his thumb hovered over it before he opened it. the address you’d sent was for a studio about thirty minutes away from campus. jisung frowned, his mind racing again. why there? what kind of place was it? and more importantly, how was he supposed to get there?

he groaned, already planning how he could convince jeno to lend him his car for the evening. but before he could get too far into his thoughts, he noticed haechan still standing there, arms crossed and a suspicious look on his face.

“what?” jisung asked, narrowing his eyes.

“nothing,” haechan said, but the grin spreading across his face said otherwise. “have fun tonight.”

with a wink, haechan strolled out of the room, leaving jisung standing there, equal parts nervous and excited, as he tried to figure out just what you had planned.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

by the time jisung reached the address you sent, he was soaked through to the bone. his hair sticking to his forehead, dripping rainwater down his face, and his clothes clung to his skin, cold and uncomfortable. jeno had flat-out refused to lend him his car, so jisung had to take the bus. the bus stop was two blocks away, and by the time he’d sprinted there in the pouring rain, his sneakers squelched with every step.

he stood now, breathless and drenched, staring up at the old building in front of him. the windows were grimy, and the exterior had an eerie, almost abandoned feel to it. with a reluctant sigh, he pushed the heavy door open and stepped into the lobby. it was completely quiet. the reception desk was empty, and no one was in sight, so he made his way up the narrow staircase to the third floor.

when he reached the door, his heart was hammering. should he have texted to let you know he was here? was he being too forward? after a beat of hesitation, he knocked, his knuckles tapping softly against the wood.

the door swung open after his third knock.

there you were, looking impossibly beautiful. your pink flowy dress caught the light, the fabric swirling around your legs as you smiled up at him. he’d never seen you wear a dress like that before. your makeup was flawless, more than usual, and the sight made his breath catch in his throat.

"you’re really punctual," you said with a soft smile, stepping aside to let him in.

but jisung didn’t move at first. his eyes scanned the space around him as he took it all in.

“is this…” he breathed in disbelief.

“welcome to collette’s studio.” you patted him lightly on the back, gently pushing him further inside.

“i wanted you to see it,” you continued, walking ahead, your fingers brushing against the smooth white sheets of the bed that dominated the center of the room. you glanced back at him with an expectant look.

jisung felt like he’d been dropped into one of his wet dreams. "i’m…" his words faltered as his senses overloaded, trying to catch up with what was happening.

"in shock?" you giggled softly, the sound light and airy. "you’re the first person i bring here."

"really?" he asked, his backpack slipping off his shoulder and falling to the floor with a soft thud.

“you brought your notes?” you asked, a teasing smile tugging at your lips.

"yeah…" he stammered, feeling foolish now. "aren’t we gonna finish… the project?"

your gaze locked with his as you moved closer, your presence drawing him in. his eyes flicked nervously to the neon sign hanging on the wall.

"hm, we can… or we could do something more fun?" you suggested, your voice a soft temptation. you stepped closer, until there was barely any space between you two.

jisung tried to keep his composure, but his body betrayed him. every inch of him stiffened as you moved into his personal space.

"i have a proposal for you, sungie," you said, your voice lowering, honeyed and sweet. your hand found its way to the back of his neck, your fingers tracing the skin there lightly, coaxing a soft sigh from his lips.

"y-yeah?" he breathed out, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment at the sensation of your touch.

"would you like to guest on my channel?"

jisung’s eyes snapped open, disbelief painting his expression. “what?… y-you mean… do a livestream with you?”

he could barely comprehend what you were saying, his brain scrambling to process the words. "but you… you never do that… it’s always just collette."

you smiled softly, a glint of something mysterious dancing in your eyes. "you’re right, but for a while, i’ve been thinking of changing that. i just never found anyone i trusted enough for it."

jisung’s mind was racing. he couldn’t believe this was happening. you, asking him? how many times had he imagined being in this room, taking you in that very bed? but now that the opportunity was right in front of him, he was frozen. what if he wasn’t enough? what if he couldn’t satisfy you like you wanted?

“it’s okay if you don’t want to… it was pretty sudden of me to ask this,” you said, sensing his hesitation. you slowly withdrew your hand from his neck, leaving him cold and wanting more.

jisung panicked. he didn’t want you to think he was rejecting you, but the fear of embarrassing himself in front of not only you but a whole audience gripped him tight. what if he couldn’t live up to your expectations?

but then again, the thought of you finding someone else to do this with made his stomach twist with anxiety. he couldn’t back down now.

with shaky hands, he finally nodded, his voice barely a whisper. "i’ll do it."

“really?” you asked, your voice tinged with genuine surprise. you hadn’t expected him to agree. jisung didn’t exactly strike you as the type to willingly step into the spotlight, let alone in this particular way. this had every potential to go sideways.

but there he was, standing in front of you, his expression a blend of nervousness and determination. he looked like he was trying to keep himself from bolting.

you extended your hand toward him, watching as his gaze flickered down to it. he hesitated, just for a moment, before his much larger hand engulfed yours. his touch was clammy, his grip tentative, but it was enough.

“have you done this before?” you asked, glancing back at him as you led him toward the bed.

he looked utterly petrified, like a deer caught in headlights, and you had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. “a livestream, you mean? uh… yeah, i’ve—uh—seen a few… i mean, no! not seen, done! wait, i mean—”

you chuckled softly, cutting off his flustered rambling. “no, silly. i meant… is this your first time having sex?”

your tone was so casual and devoid of any judgment that it caught him completely off guard. his entire face went up in flames. he nodded slowly, his lips pressed into a tight line.

your smile softened, and you stepped closer, placing your hands lightly on his chest. “then, we should practice before turning the camera on, don’t you think?”

he swallowed hard, his lips parting in a nervous attempt to respond, but no words came out. he simply nodded, his breaths shallow and uneven when you pushed him down onto the bed.

you reached for the straps of your dress and slid them off your shoulders, the fabric slipping down your body and pooling at your feet. jisung’s eyes went wide, his lips slightly parted as he stared at you. his gaze flickered nervously, starting at your feet and slowly working its way up, lingering on the delicate white lace of your underwear. he looked like he was on the verge of tearing up.

you moved closer, settling yourself onto his lap. the sudden pressure made him suck in a sharp breath, his hands hovering awkwardly at his sides.

“tell me what you like,” you murmured, leaning in just enough for your lips to ghost over the shell of his ear.

“w-what do you mean?” his voice cracked, and he looked up at you with wide, panicked eyes. his hands were still frozen in place, unsure of what to do, so you gently took them and placed them on your waist.

“you can touch me,” you said softly, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. “when you watch my streams… what do you like?”

his whole body tensed, his fingers spreading hesitantly over your waist. he looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin, but at the same time, he couldn’t seem to look away. “uhm… i-i don’t know… i… i pretty much like everything,” he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper.

“do you like when i use the toys?” you asked, your lips brushing against his as you spoke.

“y-yes,” he breathed, the word coming out shaky and unsteady.

“do you like it more when i lay down or when i sit?” you asked, trailing your hands under the hem of his shirt and tugging it up.

his breath hitched as you motioned for him to stand. he obeyed, his movements clumsy as he pulled off his shirt and hesitated with his pants. his hands trembled as he pushed them down, leaving him standing there in just his boxers, his face burning crimson.

“uhm” he started, his voice cracking. he swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to the floor before flicking back to you. “when you sit?”

the second the words left his mouth, you pushed him gently, and he stumbled back onto the bed with a gasp. the flush on his cheeks deepened, spreading to the tips of his ears, as he looked up at you with anticipation.

“good,” you murmured, your fingers trailing along his chest. “then let’s see if you like this more.”

the sight of you straddling his lap made jisung’s throat go dry, his mouth parting slightly as his breath quickened. was this really happening? was he actually about to lose his virginity with the girl he had spent countless nights fantasizing about? every inch of him buzzed with nervous energy, and for a fleeting moment, he thought he might actually cry—happy tears, of course, but still tears.

before his mind could spiral further, he felt the soft press of your lips against his. the sensation was so unexpected and overwhelming that he whimpered without meaning to. the sound would’ve embarrassed him any other time, but he was too lost in the moment to care. his lips parted instinctively, allowing your tongue to slide into his mouth, deepening the kiss.

your fingers threaded into his hair, massaging his scalp, and a low moan escaped him. the warmth of your touch was intoxicating, but then your hips shifted, brushing against the hardness in his boxers, and jisung gasped into your mouth.

“shit,” he whispered, his voice shaky as his hips jerked up in response, pressing himself against your core. the friction drew a needy, broken moan from you that he immediately wished he could record and replay for the rest of his life. his head fell back slightly, breaking the kiss.

“how does that feel?” you murmured, grinding your hips against him again. “hm?”

“g-good… so… go—” his words trailed off, his eyes snapping open as he caught you unclasping your bra. the sight of you now bare from the waist up making him forget how to breathe.

he’d seen you topless before on your livestreams, but this was something else entirely. now, you were right in front of him, real and tangible. your breasts were perfect, even better than his wildest dreams, and his hands twitched on your hips, desperate to touch but unsure if he even had the right to.

“go ahead,” you said softly, as if you’d read his mind.

jisung hesitated, the thought flashing through his mind: am i even worthy of this? but before doubt could take hold, you grabbed his hands, guiding them to your chest.

“fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his fingers trembling as they cupped the warm, supple flesh. the softness beneath his palms made his head spin, and he instinctively squeezed, earning a quiet hum of approval from you. “so… perfect,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, shyness seeping into his tone.

you smiled at him and leaned in closer, pushing your chest into his hands. his thumbs grazed over your nipples, and you bit your lip, the simple action making his heart feel like it might pound out of his chest.

“you’re doing so well, sungie,” you praised, your words wrapping around him like a warm blanket. he felt his confidence grow just a little, his hands becoming bolder as he continued to touch you, mesmerized by how soft and warm you were.

“c-can i…?” he trailed off, his lips brushing against your collarbone as he spoke.

“go ahead,” you encouraged, and his mouth descended hesitantly, leaving a tentative kiss on the curve of your breast. the feeling was so new that he couldn’t stop the soft groan that escaped him.

jisung pressed his lips against your skin again, this time lingering a little longer. he felt the soft rise and fall of your chest beneath him, and it was mesmerizing. the warmth, the way you smelled faintly of vanilla, and the soft sighs you let out as he kissed along the curve of your breast—it was too much for him, and not enough all at once.

you tilted your head back slightly, giving him more room, your fingers still tangled in his hair as he kissed lower. his tongue darted out, shyly tracing your skin, and he heard you hum in approval. the sound sent a jolt straight through him, and his hips involuntarily bucked up into yours, pressing against your core.

“that’s it, sungie,” you murmured, your voice like velvet, guiding him. “you can touch more if you want. i don’t bite”

the teasing lilt in your voice made his entire face flush, but it also spurred him on. he let one hand wander, sliding up your side hesitantly before it cupped your other breast. his touch was still timid, his thumb brushing over your nipple experimentally. when you gasped softly and your hips shifted against his, jisung nearly lost it.

“does that feel good?” he asked, his voice barely audible, shaky and full of nerves.

“mhmm,” you nodded, your lips ghosting over the shell of his ear. “you’re doing so well.”

the praise made him braver, and he leaned back slightly to look at you. your hair was slightly mussed, your lips parted, and your eyes were hooded as you gazed down at him. you looked like a dream, like something he’d only ever dared to imagine in the privacy of his own room.

jisung’s breath came in shallow pants as he watched you. your skin was soft, and your scent filled his senses, making it impossible for him to think about anything else.

“take these off too,” you murmured, your fingers tugging lightly at the waistband of his boxers.

his entire face burned crimson as he nodded, his hands shaking slightly as he hooked his thumbs under the fabric and began to slide them down. his heart was pounding so hard he thought it wasn’t normal, but the thought of stopping never even crossed his mind.

you leaned back just enough to give him room, watching as he pushed the boxers down his hips, his movements awkward and nervous. once he kicked them off completely, he sat there, completely bare before you, his hands fidgeting at his sides as he avoided your gaze.

“hey,” you said softly, reaching out to tilt his chin up so he’d look at you. “don’t be shy. you’re perfect, sungie.”

his eyes widened slightly at your words, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

“you’re really cute when you’re flustered, you know that?” you teased, leaning in to kiss him again. this time, the kiss was slower, deeper, and jisung melted into it, his hands finally moving to rest on your waist.

you shifted in his lap, pressing your core against him, and he gasped into your mouth, his hips jerking up instinctively.

“s-sorry,” he stammered, pulling back slightly, his face a deep shade of red.

“don’t apologize,” you said, brushing your fingers through his hair. “you’re doing so well.”

your praise made his chest swell, and he swallowed hard, his eyes flicking down to where your bodies were pressed together.

“touch me more, sungie,” you encouraged, taking his hands and guiding them up your sides, over your ribs, until they were back on your chest.

his fingers trembled as they cupped you, his thumbs brushing over your nipples experimentally. when you let out a soft moan, his confidence grew, and he leaned down to kiss your neck, his lips trailing lower until they found the curve of your breast.

“just like that,” you whispered, your fingers threading through his hair again as he continued exploring your body.

your hands slid down his back, your nails grazing his skin lightly, and jisung shivered under your touch. his own hands started to roam more boldly, tracing the curve of your waist, the small of your back, and finally settling on your ass.

you shifted again, grinding down against him, and he let out a choked moan, his head falling against your shoulder as he tried to catch his breath.

“you’re so sensitive,” you murmured, kissing the side of his neck.

“i… i c-can’t help it,” he stuttered, his voice shaky. “you’re… you’re just…”

you smiled, pressing a finger to his lips to hush him. “it’s okay, sungie. just let me take care of you.”

he nodded, his hands gripping your hips tighter as you continued to move against him. every touch, every kiss, every sound you made drove him closer to the edge, and he didn’t know how much more he could take.

you leaned back slightly, reaching between your bodies to tug your panties down, and jisung watched with wide eyes as you discarded them. he couldn’t believe this was happening, like any moment he might wake up in his bed, alone and frustrated.

“are you okay?” you asked, your voice soft as you looked at him.

“y-yeah,” he said quickly, nodding. i just can’t believe this is real, he wanted to say but he was scared he’d sound like a loser.

“wait a second,” you said, sliding off his lap, the sudden loss of your weight making jisung let out a soft, involuntary hiss.

his eyes darted down, and he realized—much to his horror—that his dick was now standing proudly at full attention, no longer constrained by his boxers. in his mind, it was almost mocking him, like it was giving him a thumbs-up for finally letting his hand rest after all those nights of longing for you. jisung felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over him, and his first instinct was to grab a blanket or pillow to cover himself.

just as he was about to reach for one, his attention was drawn to you. you were bent over by your bedside drawer, rummaging through it with an air of purpose. then, you pulled something out, holding it up for him to see… a shiny silver wrapper.

a condom.

jisung felt like his heart stopped beating for a second as he stared at the little package in your hands. something about seeing it made everything feel impossibly, undeniably real.

“ultrathin… so you can feel everything,” you said casually, your voice laced with amusement as you turned back toward him.

goodness, she’s gonna kill me. jisung thought, swallowing hard as he swore his dick twitched at your words.

“you’re quite big, sungie…” you mused, crawling back onto the bed with a grace that made his breath hitch. you moved toward him slowly, your eyes dark with intent. the way you approached him reminded him of a lioness stalking her prey.

“let’s see if it fits,” you added, a playful smile on your lips as you straddled his thighs.

jisung was completely frozen, his pulse pounding in his ears as he watched you unwrapping the condom with practiced ease. your hands moved so skillfully, the shiny material glinting faintly in the light. then you paused, looking up at him with a question in your eyes.

“may i?” you asked softly, your voice almost sweet, though your expression held that same predatory confidence.

“y-yeah,” he stammered, the word barely audible as he nodded frantically. in his mind, he was screaming, please, yes, god, yes.

the corner of your mouth quirked up as you leaned forward. your fingers were gentle but firm as you grasped his dick, and jisung couldn’t stop the shuddering gasp that escaped his lips. you slid the condom over him with ease, the mix of precum and the lubricant on the condom making it glide smoothly down his shaft.

it fit perfectly.

“fits you like a glove,” you murmured, your tone teasing as you leaned back to admire your handiwork.

jisung didn’t know what to do. his hands twitched at his sides, his mouth slightly open as he tried to breathe through the overwhelming sensations coursing through him.

then, without warning, you slid up his body, settling back onto his lap. the sudden pressure against his dick made him let out a low, shaky moan.

“ready?” you asked, your voice softer now, your hands resting on his chest as you leaned forward.

jisung swallowed hard, his wide eyes meeting yours. “y-yeah,” he croaked, his voice cracking slightly.

you lifted yourself slightly, aligning him with your entrance. jisung was trembling under you, his hands gripping the sheets as if holding on for dear life.

"breathe, sungie," you whispered, stroking his chest gently. his wide, panicked eyes met yours, and you smiled softly to reassure him.

he nodded quickly, forcing himself to take a shaky breath. when he exhaled, you sank down just a little, the tip of him slipping inside. his whole body jerked in response, a desperate, broken moan escaping his lips.

“fuck…” he muttered, his head falling back against the pillow. his grip on the sheets tightened, his knuckles turning white. the heat, the wetness, the feeling of you was unlike anything he’d ever imagined.

“good?” you asked, tilting your head as you hovered above him, testing his reaction.

“s-so good,” jisung gasped, his voice trembling. “so… tight… warm…”

you couldn’t help but smirk at his reaction, but you didn’t tease him. instead, you lowered yourself further, slowly taking him inch by inch. jisung’s breathing grew heavier with every movement, his hips twitching upward involuntarily as if his body couldn’t help but chase the sensation.

"easy," you murmured, pressing a hand against his chest to still him. "let me take care of you."

jisung nodded dumbly, biting his lip as he tried to stay still. his eyes were fixed on you, watching every little movement you made in adoration.

when you finally took all of him, you let out a soft sigh of relief, adjusting to the stretch. jisung, on the other hand, looked like he was seconds away from imploding.

"you're... you're perfect," he blurted out, his voice breaking with emotion.

you laughed softly, leaning down to brush your lips against his. “you’re pretty perfect yourself, sungie.”

you gave him a moment to catch his breath, your hands gently running up and down his sides to calm him. when you started to move, lifting yourself slowly and sinking back down, his head shot up from the pillow.

“oh my god—” jisung groaned, his hands flying to your hips instinctively. “oh my god, oh my god…”

his grip was unsure, as if he didn’t know whether to hold on tighter or let go. his hips bucked slightly beneath you, and you gasped at the unexpected movement.

"you're doing so well," you encouraged him, your voice breathy but soothing. you leaned forward, kissing the corner of his mouth before nipping at his jaw.

jisung whimpered at the praise, his hands sliding up your sides as he tried to ground himself. his lips found yours again, and this time, he kissed you with a bit more confidence, his tongue shyly seeking yours.

you rolled your hips against him, drawing a strangled moan from deep in his chest. his reactions were so genuine, so raw. it made your heart race just as much as his.

“faster,” he whispered against your lips, surprising both you and himself. his cheeks flushed red immediately after the word left his mouth.

you smiled, pressing your forehead against his as you obliged, picking up the pace. his grip on your hips tightened as he tried to meet your movements, his breaths coming faster and more uneven.

“you’re close, aren’t you?” you asked softly, brushing his damp hair out of his face.

jisung nodded rapidly, his eyes squeezed shut as his whole body tensed beneath you. “i—i can’t… i can’t hold it,” he stammered, his voice breaking with desperation.

“it’s okay,” you reassured him, your voice gentle. “let go for me, sungie.”

the permission was all he needed. with a choked cry, jisung’s hips jerked upward, and he came harder than he ever thought possible. his whole body trembled as he gripped you tightly, burying his face in your shoulder as he rode out the waves of pleasure.

you held him through it, running your fingers through his hair and whispering soft words of encouragement. when his breathing finally started to slow, you leaned back slightly to look at him.

his face was flushed, his chest heaving, and his eyes glazed over as he tried to process what just happened.

“you okay?” you asked, stroking his cheek gently.

jisung blinked up at you, a dazed but blissful smile spreading across his face. “y-yeah,” he breathed, his voice hoarse. “that was… amazing.”

you laughed softly, leaning down to kiss him again. “you did so well, sungie.”

he blushed at the praise, his hands resting on your thighs as he tried to steady himself. “thank you,” he mumbled shyly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“don’t thank me yet,” you teased. “we’re just getting started.”

the next day...

“sungie,” you said, your voice soft and slightly breathless. you were sprawled out on your couch, your notes and research scattered across the coffee table, all but forgotten.

“last night’s livestream got the most views i’ve had in months,” you murmured, looking down at him. “they must like you.”

jisung looked up from between your legs, his glasses fogged and slightly crooked on his face. his lips were swollen and glistening with your arousal, his cheeks flushed a deep red.

“really?” he asked, only half-interested. but before you could respond, he dove back down, his eager mouth finding your folds once again.

a sharp gasp left your lips as his tongue traced over you. this was already the second time today he’d eaten you out, and he’d only gotten better since his first attempt this morning.

earlier, you’d guided him through it, patiently showing him what felt good, what didn’t, and how to read the reactions of your body.

jisung’s long tongue worked wonders, licking and teasing in ways that had you gripping the cushions for dear life. when he sucked gently on your clit and flicked his tongue over it in quick succession, your thighs quivered against his head. he took note of the way your hips bucked involuntarily, doubling down on the action and making you cry out.

“you’re such a quick learner,” you panted, your fingers threading through his hair, tugging lightly to spur him on.

he hummed against you, the vibrations sending shockwaves through your core. the sound was almost self-satisfied, as though he was proud of the way he had you unraveling beneath him.

the combination of his inexperience and raw enthusiasm was intoxicating. jisung wasn’t just doing this to please you. he genuinely wanted to understand every inch of you, to learn what made you tick and what brought you to the edge.

and he was succeeding.

your thighs clenched around his head, your body arching off the couch as he alternated between languid strokes of his tongue and quick flicks against your most sensitive spot. “s-sungie, oh my god,” you whimpered, your grip on his hair tightening.

he pulled back just enough to look up at you, his glasses messier than ever. “does that mean i’m doing good?” he asked, his voice slightly muffled, and for a second, his shy, eager-to-please demeanor broke through.

you let out a breathless laugh, your hand cupping his cheek affectionately. “you’re doing amazing, baby.”

his lips quirked into a bashful smile before he returned his attention to your core, determined to coax another round of trembling moans from your lips.

jisung park, you thought as you teetered on the edge of bliss, was quickly becoming an overachiever in the best way possible.

a/n: my inbox is always open for any comments about the fic! thank you for reading <3

[mercy-burning]

…I Wonder

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader becomes a full-time nanny to three-year-old Benjamin, but what she doesn’t realize is just how hard the job will be— not because of the child, but rather her growing attraction to his father. Category: Mature (18+) Content: adults with age gap, drinking, dry humping, oral sex (both receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, “little girl” nickname, cum play, praise Word Count: 11k (idk how this keeps happening lol)

MASTERLIST

NOTE: This fic is titled after and loosely inspired by "Pony" by Ashley Monroe. It's not required listening, but obviously I recommend the song. It's been a favorite of mine since I was a teenager obsessed with Dean Winchester, so... that probably explains a lot about why I am the way I am... LMAO anyway, enjoy <3 I had a blast writing this one!!

———

ACT I: If I Had A Baby...

The first job I ever had also happened to be the best job I ever had. I was twenty years old, and I found an ad in the paper searching for a full-time nanny to a little boy. I didn't think anything of it, other than I desperately needed the money and I didn't mind babysitting. A few years out of school with no plans to attend college and no solid idea of what I wanted to do with my life, I wasn't sure if I'd even get hired. I was almost certain that no one would want a college-aged kid with no stable ambitions or previous job experience, but I was desperate. And CPR-certified.

It was a start. A shot in the dark.

By some miracle, Spencer Reid apparently was also desperate enough to be willing to take a chance on me.

He explained over the phone that he was away more than he'd like to be, and even if he tried to work from home, doing FBI work and raising a toddler alone at the same time was nearly impossible. I agreed to an interview, absolutely elated that I had a foot in the door and the bright beacon of hope for some sort of routine. Something to occupy my time and something to care about, to care for.

I was expecting the work to be... not hard, necessarily, but I wasn't naive enough to believe that taking care of a child was a walk in the park. There would surely be tantrums or bouts of "I miss Daddy!" or refusal to eat what I made him for lunch... I knew going into these interviews that I would be signing up for a major responsibility that meant a lot, not only to Spencer but also to his child. I had to prove that I could do my job and do it well. That alone was a challenge, but one I was willing to work with. I was ready for it.

What I wasn't ready for, however, was the betrayal I felt when my brain failed to warn me of the possibility that he was not only a single father, but a hot one.

The second I showed up at his door and he opened the barrier between us, I swear it felt like the sun swallowed me whole and burnt me to a crisp. He smiled brightly and introduced himself, and I was done for.

"You must be Y/N! Hi, I'm Doctor Spencer Reid."

Doctor? So he was smart, then, too. Perfect. The Trifecta of Peak Hotness had been achieved. That instantly made this new job ten-times harder than I anticipated, and I hadn't even started yet.

I wasn't sure I could go through with it at first, but the more we talked, the more I relaxed, and I felt sympathy for him. He was a genuinely kind and loving parent who wanted the best for his son, a three-year-old named Benjamin who loved dinosaurs and airplanes and Cheeto Puffs. I didn't get to meet him that day, since he was with his Aunt JJ (who, the way Spencer told it, was most likely feeding his Cheeto Puff addiction as we spoke), but if the interview went well, I'd get to meet him in the next week.

I mulled over my options and almost decided not to show up for the next interview; to call and tell him I'd changed my mind or something, but it pained me to even imagine the disappointment in his voice had he asked me why. For whatever reason, the vivid image of a toddler pouting and crying to his father because he had to leave, and that no one wanted to care for him burned itself into my soul until I relented and just took the job anyway.

It was fair to at least meet the kid first, right?

Benny was insanely talkative— but not really conversational. Most of the time I tried to keep up, but his mouth was moving a mile a minute, and the conversation always ended up falling flat on my end, so I pretty quickly decided to give up and enthusiastically let him carry it.

He had his father's brains as well. For hours that first meeting, he sat there and read me passages of aircraft encyclopedias, and in between two random sections I politely requested that we move on to dinosaurs (which were infinitely cooler). And then, in that adorable toddler voice that made it impossible to be irritated, he looked up at me with wide eyes and said, "I read all my dinosaur books last week. This week is for airplanes."

Spencer looked like he was going to divert the conversation entirely, perhaps suggest that Benny do something else while we talked some more, but who was I to interrupt the kid's routine and crush his dreams? If I was going to be his nanny, then I was going to have to make him like me. Right?

So, I nodded like I'd never considered it and encouraged him to keep going. To which he did, very happily.

Spencer seemed happy, too. He was always delighted to see Benny when he came home from work, but there was something about the way he relaxed and perked up all the same at my first interactions with his son that twisted my gut. What that man was filled with at the sight of me wasn't just joy, but hope, too, and regardless of where that joy and hope came from, it was an incredibly dangerous thing to notice as a young woman.

It was way too easy to fall into daydream territory. I was alert and attentive when watching Benny, of course, but the second Spencer walked in and completely knocked the wind out of me with that joy and relief radiating from his perfect smile, it was like a screw came loose in my brain and turned me into a feral, horny beast. And then I would return home, alone with my thoughts, and I couldn't divert them from the wild direction they took.

At first it was just your standard wet dream, a girl lusting over the older man she nannied for. It was purely pornographic and provided nothing but short-term relief until I saw him in person again, which frustrated me.

I almost thought about quitting, or saying I was looking into schooling so I could cut down on my hours, but...

That wasn't fair to Benny. He and I had actually formed a pretty stellar routine, if I do say so myself.

And every time I thought about leaving, I couldn't help but think about what I would tell him. Would I even tell him anything at all, or would Spencer just omit me from his life completely and give him an explanation in my place? Who would watch over him after I left? Someone old and mean who made him eat vegetables instead of Cheeto Puffs, and demanded he read to them about dinosaurs instead of airplanes, not giving him the option to develop his curiosity in whatever way he chose? Who would tuck him into bed on the nights his father was late or out of town, and would they sleep on the couch soundly and happily like I did?

I hated even thinking about it.

And then there was the first paycheck.

Truth be told, I hadn't even thought about the money, not after I met the boys and introduced them into my daily routine. I remembered Spencer telling me after my first day alone with Benny that he wouldn't get a paycheck to me until the start of the next month, and I was okay with it. Really, I was just focusing on trying not to drool for the entire conversation, but I digress.

Payment completely slipped my mind.

And then I showed up to do my job, and Benny was nowhere in sight.

"Where's the little guy?" I inquired, looking around and hearing nothing either. "He's usually waiting at the door for me like a dog."

Spencer laughed and concealed something behind his back. "He does really enjoy his nights with you... He's actually staying with JJ and her kids tonight, though. Our schedules opened up and she offered to take him for the night. I was going to call and tell you, but I wanted to give you this, anyway."

He handed me an envelope, folded over but not sealed. I took it with an, "Oh," unsure of what it was until I saw the corner of the check. It felt rude somehow to open it in front of him, but his presence was so overwhelming anyway, especially being alone with him, that I needed something to occupy my hands and my thoughts and just about everything else I had in my possession.

At first, I thought it was a joke. A prank. It was too good to be true; He was just messing with me and would hand me a fifty-dollar bill on my way out for my trouble. Surely, if not that, then it was a mistake.

I didn't know how long I'd stood there, staring at the paper with whatever expression was all over my face, but it must have been too long and too concerning because Spencer sounded worried when he asked, "Is there something wrong?"

I blinked for a moment, then finally had the courage to look him in the eye, my mouth completely dry. "You are not giving me five-thousand dollars right now."

"Well... No, technically, I'm giving you a check for five-thousand dollars. What you do with it and when is completely up to you, but... You deserve it. Y/N, you've been a Godsend, and Benny and I are lucky to have you around. Thank you. Very much."

I didn't even think about it. It was an insanely kind gesture, and I was in such a state of shock and gratitude and mind-numbing attraction to him in that moment that I leapt forward and flung my arms around his neck, tears stinging my eyes.

He hugged me back tightly and laughed, allowing me to cry my thanks into his shoulder as we nearly tumbled into the coffee table.

ACT II: If I Was A Lady...

The months flew by, and before I knew it, it was Benny's fourth birthday.

Spencer and his friends heavily involved me in the planning process, a gesture that surprised me, but that I obviously would never be thankful enough for. It's not like I hadn't ever known a loving family or anything, but they were all so warm and welcoming; it was like I'd been friends with them my whole life. My chest bloomed brightly with every laugh and every hug, and I don't think I could have been any happier. I felt like I belonged there.

It was a day, and night, I would never forget.

Everyone had left, and Benny was fast asleep in his bed. Spencer and I looked down at him with smiles so bright, if they'd actually radiated any light the poor boy would have woken up.

"Ah, the cake coma," I laughed quietly, Spencer guiding me out of the bedroom. I couldn't stop giggling even as we walked—Admittedly, I was a little buzzed on champagne. Still, Spencer laughed with me, and we sat down on the couch. I could tell he was exhausted, but happy.

"I still have to clean all of this up..." It was more of an amused I'll-do-it-tomorrow statement, but I had this drunken simmering need to please him so badly that I shook my head and hit his arm.

"No. That's my job. I'll take care of it, you just take your beautiful ass right to bed, you hear me?"

He raised an eyebrow but laughed at me anyway, clearly amused by my banter. "Maybe I shouldn't have allowed the underage drinking after all..."

"Oh, please. I'm not even drunk, just a little loose. Besides, I'll be twenty-one in a couple of months anyway."

"Mmmm."

I hadn't realized how much closer we'd gotten until just then, when he hummed and looked me over. I could feel his breath on my face, and our limbs were just barely touching. Suddenly it was like my entire body was numb, sizzling everywhere we touched, and the champagne had become a part of my bloodstream. The fizz was all I knew, all I was.

Spencer's eyes found mine, and they didn't look away. They pulled me in slowly. I was powerless to stop it, not that I'd ever want to...

In fact, I very eagerly melted into him the second our lips found each other. My head swam, my fingers started tingling, and I was very aware of every movement we made. I straddled his lap, and he welcomed me with open arms, pulling me flush against him as his tongue darted out swiftly to taste mine.

I couldn't believe it was actually happening. Every few seconds I kept thinking to myself, this feels like a dream... It has to be a dream... Between the pent-up attraction I'd been accumulating for him over the last few months and the alcohol that loosened me up and dissolved any ounce of common sense I possessed, I felt like I was in a different world entirely.

He hardened underneath me and my nerves went nuclear, instinctively forcing my body to roll over his. I ground my hips, aching to feel that sweet friction that I'd only felt once before with another man— so long ago and so unbelievably dull in comparison to the sensations I was feeling in Spencer's lap. I was only barely experienced with sex, but I was experienced enough to know that I didn't have anything to be nervous about; This man would take good care of me. I felt it in my bones.

The thought alone sent my body into overdrive. I whined and rolled my hips relentlessly, wishing I was completely bare and feeling him so deep inside me that his absence would leave me haunted. I wanted to feel him forever. I wanted him to ruin my life and claim me as his own, until there was absolutely nothing left of me.

His hands cradled my head reverently as he continued to kiss me deep and slow, raising his hips up to meet mine and aid in getting me off. The gentle tugs of his fingers through my hair and the warm hums of encouragement he offered to my mouth as I climbed higher and higher towards that precipice of pleasure made me weak. I felt so fragile in his arms, like I was meant to be right there, allowing him to guide me wherever. I would have done anything for him, anything so long as he kept holding me and making me sigh—making me glow.

"Fuck—I'm gonna come," I exclaimed in a broken whisper, breaking apart from his mouth to bury my face in his hair. He brought his hands down to my hips then, groaning as quietly as he could into my neck as he helped me rock back and forth across his lap.

It wasn't an earth-shattering intense orgasm by any means; there wasn't nearly enough stimulation for that. But I was so wet and aroused that even the low, quick and burning pleasure that shot through my core for a few seconds was enough to satisfy me. I wasn't in any position to complain.

That was, of course, until I reached down to touch Spencer's belt, and he pushed me away. Not aggressively, but his hands—which had been so gentle and welcoming just moments before—had gone rigid. Frozen and firm, like he'd just been scared half to death.

He scrambled out from my reach and put so much distance between us that I went cold. My name tumbled from his lips in a regretful sigh, and it stung.

"We can't ever do that again."

"Okay," was all I could manage to say. I was still tingling all over, like my whole body had fallen numb and was now just warming up to the idea of having senses again.

"That was irresponsible. And I'm too old for you."

"M-hm," I agreed absentmindedly.

"You should go home."

"Okay."

"I'll call you a cab."

"Thank you."

I went home that night with a deep twist in my gut that wouldn't go away. The rejection hurt. It scared me, too, wondering if I'd still have a job when I woke up in the morning. Was that the last time I would ever see Spencer? And Benny? Had I really just screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me?

I barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I was back on Spencer's couch, getting myself off in his lap and reveling in his embrace. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, hating myself for being so reckless, and even more so for not regretting it a single bit.

After I was finally able to get a solid couple of hours of sleep, I had a text message from Spencer waiting for me when I woke up.

I sincerely apologize for last night. The job is still yours, but I also understand if you don't want it anymore. Take a few days, whatever time you need, and let me know.

I was relieved, of course, but also deeply curious to know how we would keep things professional after something like that. I guess I was just mostly surprised that he was willing to, considering he seemed pretty rattled by it.

Still, If he was willing to try, then so was I.

I'm sorry, too. I wouldn't give up you and Benjamin for the world. All is well?

He texted back almost immediately; All is well.

It only clicked into place a few months later, once the initial shock of our "escapade" had faded away and we could return to business as normal. Because, really, the truth was we couldn't return to business as normal. We tried, but he never looked me in the eye for longer than a second at a time, he refused to touch me in any way, careful not to even brush my hand as he handed me my monthly check, and his small talk was even more painful than it had been previously.

Still, I continued to be Benny's nanny—and best friend, according to Auntie Penelope, much to her dismay. I still loved that kid more than anything in the world, and I still, unfortunately, wanted his father to kiss me again.

I was willing to let it all go, though, to admit that it was a silly stupid crush that could never come to anything and just deal with it like an adult, and then I had to overhear the motherfucker when he came home one night. I was resting on the couch, about to open my eyes when I heard the door open, but then I heard a voice that wasn't Spencer's. It was his friend, Luke.

Spencer cut him off then. "Quiet, please."

There was shuffling, keys being set down, and then a small laugh as they got closer to me. I didn't move a muscle, focusing only on my breathing. "Right. Don't wake the hot nanny, got it."

"She's right there," Spencer hissed, and I tried not to laugh. My insides flared to life as he added, "And I asked you not to bring that up..."

"Oh, come on, Reid. You have the hots for her; big deal. It's normal."

"So? I'm... I'm technically her boss, and she's far too young for me. It's not right, and you know that."

"Whatever. You do what you think is right, man, but I'm telling you; Ignoring it is only going to make you more stressed."

Spencer mumbled something incoherent, and the two shuffled off into the kitchen for God-knows-what. All I could think about was that he wanted me. It was probably killing him just as badly as it was killing me not to give into each other again. My mind was racing, my heart beat violently in my chest, and I knew then that I had to pretend to wake up or else I'd sit there and burst into flames.

I had to leave. I had to do something; What, I didn't know, but this revelation had me reeling and feeling a myriad of things, and I needed to sit with them, preferably alone so I wasn't tempted to just jump him on the spot.

"Did we wake you? I'm sorry." Spencer's kind voice warmed me from the inside out as I shuffled into the kitchen to say goodbye.

I quickly gathered my things and avoided his gaze. "Oh. No, you didn't. If you're back for the night though, I'm gonna go home. I'm exhausted."

"Little guy was that rambunctious, huh?" Luke joked.

I smiled and gave him a wink. "Oh, no. He was an absolute angel, as always. His daddy raised him well. Goodnight. See you tomorrow, Doctor Reid?"

He cleared his throat, rasping out, "Yes, tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Night."

I tried not to run mischievously out the door, willing my legs to be normal. But the second there was a tangible barrier between us, I bolted to my car, high on adrenaline and unable to wipe the smile from my face; I was wide awake.

Eventually, though, I realized it would be absolutely stupid to do anything about it. Did it boost my ego and my mood? Absolutely. It also softened the blow of his avoidance and his initial rejection that night; All of his behavior made much more sense. Sure, I was a little disappointed that he wouldn't entertain our mutual desire, but as long as it was there... It couldn't be that bad, right?

Wrong.

I'd gotten a text from him earlier in the day, asking if I could come over last minute to watch Benny. I wasn't going to say no, obviously, but when I got there to see him dressed up, I shot up an eyebrow.

"A little fancy for work, yeah?" I told him, hanging my keys up and listening for Benny.

"Oh, I'm... not going to work, actually. I, uh... I have a date."

I froze. I panicked. I didn't know what to do, what to think, or how to react. Naturally my thoughts immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario—visions of Spencer sleeping with another woman, someone older and not a nanny. Someone who was distinguished and well-read and smart, someone like himself. Someone who was more inherently right for him. It... made me sad.

Admittedly, I felt stupid even thinking that way. It wasn't my right to dictate his dating life, no matter how badly I wanted him; I knew what he tasted like, knew how it felt to come undone in his embrace, and yet I wasn't entitled to him solely based on that.

Still. It doesn't mean I had to like it.

"Oh... Um... Good for you," I told him, nodding and turning away in case he tried to profile me. "Have fun."

He said goodbye to Benny a few minutes later, and then gave me a polite, transactional wave on his way out the door. It shut, and it felt like my chest was collapsing.

But I was only able to wallow for a few seconds. Benny tugged on my sleeve and looked up at me quizzically.

"Auntie Y/N, are you sad?"

His sweet face lifted my spirits like it always did, and I didn't have the energy to think about the other emotions that were swimming around in my chest anyway. So I smiled at him and picked him up, shaking my head. "Not anymore, kiddo; I get to hang out with my favorite person!"

We spent all night munching on Cheeto Puffs and building Lego sets, and it was unsurprising to me that by the time I'd finished one, Benny had finished three. Still, our sets combined to make a larger one, and then we were able to give the people names and backstories and adventures.

Either time passed very quickly, or Spencer didn't last very long on his date, because the front door opened and I was surprised he was home before I could put Benny to bed.

"Daddy!" he exclaimed, running and dropping his half-eaten Cheeto Puff in my lap. I laughed and tossed it in the trash can on my way to the door, greeting Spencer, who was hugging his son tightly and making him giggle profusely.

"You're home early," I observed as he set him down.

"Had to make it home before curfew, of course." A joke. He was deflecting. I kind of hated that I felt relief at the insinuation.

"Of course," I agreed.

"So, what did you guys do while I was gone?"

Benny jumped and grabbed his father's hand. "Auntie Y/N and I made a whole Lego village! It has a library!"

"It does?" Spencer asked bending down to his level and positively beaming. The sight made my chest tighten.

"It really does! Do you want to come see?"

"Oh, absolutely. I just have to talk to Auntie Y/N first, and I'll be right in, is that okay?" He nodded and Spencer ruffled his hair. "Okay. Say goodnight."

Benny turned and ran to me then, and I squatted down to hug him. "Goodnight, Auntie Y/N. Thank you for building with me."

"Oh, you're welcome, kiddo. You're an excellent building partner; The best in the business."

He laughed and scampered off to his bedroom, and as I stood up, I felt Spencer's eyes on me. I couldn't decipher what the feeling was on his end, but regardless, it burned a hole through me and made my heart pound in my ears.

"How'd it go?" I asked casually, dusting Cheeto off my jeans. Did you do it just to forget about how much you want me? Did it work?

He shrugged and leaned against the counter with a lazy smile. He almost looked exhausted. "I'd have much rather liked to be at home with my boy and his best friend to tell you the truth."

My heart was racing, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was getting at. Was he fucking with me? Or was he simply telling the honest, innocent truth, while I was letting my lust take the drivers' seat and go searching for some insane imaginary intention to help along my hot-single-father/nanny fantasy?

Suddenly, I was the one who felt exhausted, and Spencer could tell. He shifted and continued talking. "Thank you again for staying with him on such short notice."

"Oh, anytime. It's what I'm here for. In fact, feel free to go on all the bad dates you want."

I don't know why it came out of my mouth, but I was glad that Spencer laughed. Still, I scrambled to get my keys and walked past him to leave, kind of embarrassed by the verbalized impulsive thought regardless.

His hand grabbed my arm gently before I could leave, and my heart caught in my throat. I dared to look up at him and immediately felt that familiar heat return to my core, suddenly very fragile under the weight of his gaze.

He studied me for a moment before he let go of my arm and cleared his throat. "Goodnight."

I couldn't help the feeling that he wanted to tell me something else. He did say he wanted to talk to me before putting Benny to bed, after all... So, what? That was it?

It was stupid, and I should have just told him, "Goodnight," back, but those damned impulsive thoughts kept dancing on my tongue with reckless abandon, and I couldn't stop them from escaping. So, without another thought, I tilted my head and asked him instead, "Was she my age?"

Spencer stared at me, something darkening in his eyes when he responded, "No."

I threw back one of his considering hums, glancing down at his lips before looking him directly in the eye and giving him a firm, "Oh." There were plenty more things I could have told him, none of them appropriate. But I figured I'd already had enough pushing my luck for the night, and reached for the doorknob instead of dragging it out. The night would end like it always did, with a formal, professional farewell.

I was about to finally tell him, "Goodnight," but his hand came down very gently over mine and rendered me silent. Our eyes met once more, and a shiver ran down my spine.

"Even if she had been, she wouldn't have been you."

And then he opened the door for me, and I walked out without another word, my head spinning and my heart threatening to give out on me. He hadn't even kissed me, but he might as well have; I was just as breathless.

ACT III: He Is Nice, But He Looks So Mean.

I was actually littered with nerves walking in the door the next time I came over to watch Benny.

I hadn't heard anything from Spencer for a week, until he called and asked me to come over for the night to watch him while he went to work. I was going to do it with no questions asked, obviously, but because that insane confession was echoing in my mind on a continuous loop since it happened, I couldn't even bring myself to think about seeing him again and knowing... I had no idea what reaction my body was going to have to being in his presence again.

It scared me, but also deeply excited me.

Once my body had enough courage to step through the doorway, my heart rate sped up exponentially, and then upon seeing what was in front of me, it stuttered with a terrifying halt.

Warmth flooded my veins and brought a smile to my face when the four-year-old boy I nannied for and loved more than anything threw his hands in the air and yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Happy Birthday!"

He ran up to me and nearly toppled me to the ground, and on instinct, my arms reached out to pick him up as he hugged my neck and listed off the things he did to celebrate.

"Daddy said your birthday was yesterday, but we wanted to give you a party just like you did for my birthday! So we went to the store and got you ingredients for your cake, and we made it just for you!"

"You did?" I exclaimed, setting him down and letting him lead me to the kitchen where the cake was sitting out on the table, clearly homemade by two boys who didn't know the first thing about baking or decorating anything. Spencer was standing across the kitchen table with a proud, albeit I-know-it's-not-much-to-look-at smile, but I barely had time to thank him before Benny told me about the process, step-by-step.

As he went on, I nodded and admired the cake, complimenting the purple and green swirls of frosting (his favorite color and mine, he explained), and the trail of assorted candies in the shape of a stegosaurus in the middle (my favorite dinosaur).

"Do you love it, Auntie Y/N?"

I hugged him again with tears in my eyes. I tried not to actually cry, but the tugging at the back of my throat and the blurring of my eyes was extremely difficult to push away. I realized then, as Spencer watched me with his son and looked like he might have been ready to cry himself, that it wasn't worth trying to hide. I was extremely moved and even happier in that moment than I think I'd ever been. I loved that man and his child more than anything I'd ever known.

So, I blinked hard and let the tears silently descend down my cheeks, kissing the side of Benny's head as I told him, "I love it so much. And I love you so much. Thank you."

I looked up at Spencer and said it again. "Thank you."

He nodded, reaching for the star-shaped candle next to the cake. "You're very welcome. Benny, do you want to help Auntie Y/N light the birthday candle?"

The boy squirmed in my arms and I let him down with a laugh as he excitedly reminded us, "That's my favorite part of birthdays!"

"I apologize if you find an eggshell," Spencer warned a few minutes later, slicing the cake after the song had been sung and the candle had been blown out. He slid my plate over and handed me a fork. "Benny and I did our best to fish them all out, but it's... surprisingly harder than it looks."

As Benny nodded in agreement, I looked down at him and took a forkful of cake. "Oh, I don't have anything to worry about. I'm sure you two are excellent eggshell fishermen."

The four-year-old giggled, but his father sighed as if to say, Don't say I didn't warn you...

To no one's surprise but Spencer's, the cake was delicious. I may have played it up for dramatic effect, putting on a whole show as I chewed and considered every bite, playing as if I was unsure and really critiquing the dessert. I set my fork down and looked at Spencer with squinted eyes, then slowly to his son. The suspense was obviously killing him, his small limbs bouncing with anticipation and a smile that suggested he was going to urge the verdict out of me if I didn't announce it very soon.

I decided to spare him the wait.

"Benjamin Reid... That might just be the best cake I've ever had."

"Really? No eggshells?"

I laughed, reaching to give him a high-five as he beamed up at me with sparkling eyes and a wide-open smile. "Not a single one. You should be very proud of yourself. You and your dad, both."

Benny hugged me again, and I glanced over to Spencer, who was slicing another piece of cake and staring at me with that intense look in his eyes, a satisfied half-smile adorning his face. A rush of heat came surging through my bloodstream like a tidal wave, and I had to look away from him or I was afraid I'd collapse on the spot.

Benny didn't know it, but he was saving my life in that very moment, as the three of us ate cake together. I refused to look at his father. I needed literally anything else to keep me from even glancing his way, and my four-year-old best friend's rambling habits were the perfect focus.

He told me more about his process for decorating the cake, and while I was genuinely a little surprised at how much thought there really could have been with the task, with an ever-moving mind like Benny's, it was actually quite clear by the end of it. It charmed me to no end and filled me with pride to know that I'd had enough of an impact on him to trigger this level of detail and consideration. Again, it's not like I'd never had people who cared about me before, but when it came to the Reids, my heart sang a tune I'd never heard, and it was the most beautiful, brightly vivid sound I'd ever had the pleasure to hear—to feel.

I was thinking too much about it, letting the song swallow me whole as tears stung in the back of my eyes and threatened to fall again, when Spencer's phone buzzed on the table. The sound grounded and intrigued me, even more so when he glanced up at me for a moment, right before directing his words to his son.

"Benny, Uncle Will is outside. Is your bag ready?"

He jumped from his seat and nodded. "In my room."

"Okay. Before you grab it, say goodnight to Auntie Y/N."

I felt the toddler's arms hugging my legs, and turned all my attention to him, refusing once again to look at the man whose eyes I could feel burning me alive with something deeply ravenous, begging to be unfettered. I had a feeling, creeping over my senses like a thick blanket of ivy, that I wasn't making it up and letting my desire for him take the wheel, either; Just as the loving, family-friendly song in my heart had been—bright and vivid—this feeling was just as much the same in its intensity, only echoed with a sound that felt very much like those dark, low hums Spencer always emitted alone in my presence. I felt it all around me and hoped to God that I wasn't about to leave this place feeling like a hopeful, stupid idiot.

"Goodnight, Auntie Y/N. Did you like your birthday?"

"I did, Benny," I answered in earnest, ruffling his hair. "You're very thoughtful and kind. Thank you so much."

"I love you, Auntie Y/N."

I squeezed him tight and made sure he understood every word as truth when I told him, "I love you, too."

ACT IV: When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be Your Girl.

The apartment was quiet when Spencer took Benny outside to meet with Will. I did my best to keep myself busy, cleaning up forks and plates, and wiping down the counter tops while simultaneously ignoring the hammering of my heart against my chest. The organ wouldn't calm down, even as I hummed to myself. It's like those nerves that I had walking through the front door that night never actually went away— only subsided for a little while in favor of wholesome celebration.

Part of me wanted to flee, but I knew it wasn't an option. Not really. I had to at least talk to Spencer and thank him for the effort. Perhaps I was good enough of an actress that I could pretend to have been ignorant of his glances all night, or at least that they didn't affect me like he maybe wanted them to.

Catching myself in the act of overthinking again, I grunted and slammed a glass of water, willing the fresh liquid to wash away any insanity. There was no use going through all the possible scenarios in my head, not when there wasn't much time before Spencer returned. No matter what happened, I wasn't going to be prepared for it.

I certainly wasn't prepared for the way my heart practically leapt out of my chest when he returned, softly opening and closing the door. It took everything I had not to turn around and allow him to see how nervous I was. I kept my back turned, hoping and praying I wasn't visibly shaking as heavily as I felt. I was warm all over.

His presence behind me was dense and ever-present― almost suffocating. I took my time drying off the plates and forks I'd washed while he was away, hearing him rustle around without a word or acknowledgement of me, and then he finally spoke. I almost dropped a fork.

"Why are you doing my dishes, Birthday Girl?"

"My birthday was yesterday..."

He laughed and came up behind me, a gentle hand on my lower back as the other reached around and took the silverware from my grip. I relented, feeling myself numb at his touch and trying to steady my breathing.

"Yes, but we're celebrating today. In my household at least, that means you're not allowed to do any work."

I turned around to face him as he set the fork down on the counter, his other hand still hovering over my back. It returned to his side, disappearing into the pocket of his pants as I crossed my arms and looked up at him. Thankfully, despite the constant whirring of nerves and desire coursing through my entire being, I was able to hold a conversation without hesitation.

"You're not my dad."

Another amused grin. "No, I'm not. But I am your boss. And as your boss, I'm asking you to take the night off and enjoy yourself."

The way he was staring down at me seemingly punctuated his words with a gentle seduction that made me ache with need. I was getting stronger and bolder by the second, leaning forward just enough to be toe-to-toe with him.

"Okay, then, Boss... Tell me, are there any restrictions to enjoying myself in your household? Because..."

The second I heard that familiar hum rumble from his chest, I knew I was in danger― glorious, beautiful danger. His eyes glanced down at my mouth for a second before returning to my own, his body leaning into mine and his free hand reaching out to trap me against the counter.

I tilted my head and brought my fingers up to toy with the tie hanging from his neck. "I am all grown up now, after all..."

"And I suppose you know exactly what you want..."

"Mm-hmm," I drawled, pulling him in closer by the tie. Our lips were barely touching by that point, and I felt my head start to pulse with anticipation as he urged me to go on.

"Well?"

"I want to be yours."

He hummed again, pushing his body to mine and bringing the pocketed hand up to hold the side of my head. "Mmm, Darling, you always have been."

And then he kissed me.

He tasted like sugar, but his intentions were anything but sweet. His mouth devoured mine with a fire that threatened to turn me to ash. Every sense I had was alight, engulfing me in a heat so intense that it was all I was sure to know for the rest of my life. It's all I wanted and all I needed.

I met his intensity with eager hands, exploring the planes of his body as his tongue did wicked things to my own. This time I didn't even need the champagne; I was dizzy on Spencer alone. The fizz boiled me from the inside out and urged my limbs to cling to him like it was my life's purpose. Hell, for all I knew, it was my life's purpose― to burn for him and let him consume me. To revel in his dancing flame and allow it to become my life force. I wanted it more than I'd ever wanted anything.

And I was sure to let him know that, too, refusing to hold back the string of whines and moans that escaped me every now and again. The hand that had been resting on the counter behind me came down to grip and hike up my thigh, our hips colliding just as beautifully this time as they had the last. The memory caused another wanton sound to tumble from my mouth, and Spencer caught it greedily, pulling back for air long enough to squeeze my thigh and sing me a praise of his own.

"God, I love the sounds you make..."

His lips were on mine again before I could respond, but I didn't even need to. Not verbally, anyway; I guided his hand down the side of my face and over my chest, pushing my body into him and feeling his fingers tighten. His kisses grew hungrier, and suddenly I was starving.

I was finally able to break away from his mouth in favor of tasting the skin and stubble along his jaw. Then, I buried my face in his neck and reached for his belt, praying he wouldn't jump away like last time.

Thankfully, he didn't. His grip on both my breast and my thigh tightened again, but he didn't pull away from me. His breath didn't even hitch.

I took that as a good sign and slowly undid his belt. The sound alone was enough to send a jolt of excitement between my thighs, though the visions dancing behind my eyelids of what I planned to do in just a few moments helped my pleasure immensely. I dragged my tongue softly along Spencer's neck before freeing the belt and sinking to the ground alongside it. His hands fell away from my body and chose to root in my hair instead. The gentle tugging at my scalp admittedly made me stumble, but not out of discomfort; I was actually quite surprised at how much I liked the feeling.

Spencer noticed, humming again with amusement as I went back to tugging down his pants. Still, he said nothing, instead watching me intently as I continued my journey.

I didn't hide the desire I felt as I palmed the length of him through his underwear. In fact, I couldn't decide if I wanted to keep my sight leveled or to angle it up at him, because it was a damn good sight either way; The sensual nature of my fingers gently caressing him, knowing what was resting beyond that thin layer of fabric and imagining how it probably felt to him, or the thick and domineering air between his face and mine, his gaze committing every movement I made to wicked memory...

With a sigh, I opted to lean forward, ignoring the sharp bruising on my knees and putting all my focus into the task at large.

Spencer seemed to tell I was thinking too much, gently massaging my scalp and cooing, "Have you ever done this before?"

Yes, but... "Not with anyone I've actually wanted this badly..."

"Mmm, that does make a difference..." he observed. "Whatever it is that you need to be comfortable, Y/N― tell me. Okay? Promise me you won't hurt yourself in any way just to please me."

A surge of heat exploded through me at the intensity of it all. He was sincere, and by the sound of things, sympathetic to my overthinking. It was another show of just how much I wanted him to guide me, to hold me in his comforting, knowing embrace and show me exactly how life should be lived. Every life experience there was to know, I wanted to know it with him.

"I promise," I told him firmly, not breaking eye contact as I tugged at the cotton between us.

His eyes struggled to stay open when I finally gripped his cock, feeling the weight of it in my hand and bringing it to my mouth. I glanced down then, taking in every ridge as it disappeared slowly down the length of my tongue. I reveled in the taste, in the fullness I felt the deeper it went, and once it hit the back of my throat and caused me to choke and pull back, I angled my eyes back up at his face to find the most heavenly sight I'd ever seen.

Spencer watched me all the time. I was no stranger to his intense gazes. But when I looked up at him that time, his mouth open and eyes so deeply darkened with need that they could have drowned me, I truly thought I might have died and entered the afterlife. Perhaps that was dramatic, but there was no other possible way for me to describe the feeling that coursed through me in that moment. Suddenly I was chasing it, longing to be in that state of euphoria forever, and my mouth eagerly went to work in pursuit of it.

I took my time, exploring the ways he could fit in my mouth and the ways my tongue could cover the length of him. I went in search of any pleasure point I could find, occasionally looking up to gauge his reaction and finding nothing but those beautiful, salacious pools of liquid gold.

Eventually, I was brave enough to take him to the back of the throat again, holding him there and seeing how long it would take before I felt the air leave my lungs. I repeated the process a few times, stroking him with my hand in between gasps of air and shivering at the way he tugged my hair. My vision was starting to blur, but I persisted, aching to know what he tasted like as he came undone.

Unfortunately, it wasn't in the cards for me to find out that night.

I whined as he held my head away from him, praying he wasn't backing out.

"Stand up, please," he asked softly. It sounded like he'd been breathless, and maybe he had. The thought that I had that effect on him calmed my nerves and made me dizzy as I stood, and his hands cradled my head once again.

"You are so good," he whispered, kissing me deeply. I melted into him, only for him to pull back and continue his praises. "So beautiful..." Another toe-curling kiss, and then, "So perfect."

My eyes fluttered shut as his mouth moved over my jaw and to my pulse-point. "My good, sweet girl," he murmured, and the words caused me to clench around nothing.

"Please."

The word fell out of me with a whimper and at its urgency, Spencer's mouth attacked my neck with a gentle, hungry bite that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Follow me."

And I did. I always would.

As much as I would have loved the opportunity to look around his bedroom and make banter about what I discovered on any normal day, my brain was so overwhelmed and numb with desire that the thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

Not that I would have had the time to think about it anyway; He was on me the moment my legs touched the edge of the bed, devouring my mouth once more and pulling me into his atmosphere with fervor. Willing myself to get even closer to him, I brought my fingers up to thread through his hair and was rewarded with another gentle tug of my own.

Suddenly I was extremely hot, squirmy and anxious to break free from the confines of clothing, and Spencer could tell.

He broke apart with a laugh, bringing a hand down to trace the collar of my shirt. "Have you no patience?"

"You're the one sucking my face like it's the end of the fucking world," I breathed when he shifted the collar and exposed more of my skin to the air, earning me another low grumble of a laugh.

"You're not complaining are you?"

"God, no."

"Mmm, good," he hummed into my cheek, reaching down and tugging my shirt over my head. The fabric caught on his nose for a second, bringing a laugh to the surface of my tongue before he swallowed it with another kiss and tossed the shirt to the ground.

Warm, nimble fingers spanned my bare stomach and thoroughly explored the surface area of me, up and up until they slipped under the backside of my bra.

"Is this okay?"

I pushed myself into him and nipped at his bottom lip. "Yes, Doctor."

Goosebumps littered my arms as he deftly unhooked the bra and slid it off my body, and I barely had time to take a breath before he was kissing me again, pawing at my chest and slipping me his eager tongue. My senses were on overload, that hot pang of need pulsating between my legs as I then fell backwards, letting him lay me down and settle himself between them. His kisses traveled lower, tongue darting out to flick over my peaked nipple, and I involuntarily arched up into him.

No one had ever paid this much careful attention to my body before—It was always a quick pleasantry to get out of the way before the main course. But the way Spencer held and touched and tasted me felt like a crash course in intimacy. He was still hungry for me, obviously, but he made it feel like it wasn't just about the destination. He savored each and every second of the moment in all its pent-up, beautiful glory.

Which is why, when he finally slipped a hand down the front of my pants, he seemed delighted to find that I was practically soaked through my panties already.

His middle finger pressed firmly at my clothed heat, and I sighed into his mouth.

"Look at what I've done to you... Poor thing. You're just aching to be filled, aren't you?"

My head had no choice but to arch backwards as I moaned into the open air at his words, my legs clamping around his hand. "God, Spencer, please..."

"So I'm not wrong, then?" he mused, teasing me some more and just barely pushing the fabric aside. I squirmed and lifted my hips, trying to guide him in the right place, but he pulled away from me then, leaving me cold.

Only a second later did the heat return; Spencer stood at the foot of the bed and gently helped me scoot to the edge. He removed the rest of my clothes and stared down at my bare figure as he unbuttoned his shirt, debauchery settling in his eyes as they raked over me. With careful consideration, once his shirt was on the floor with the rest of my clothes, he came down and caressed my inner thigh, slowly spreading my legs apart.

"You're so wet and needy, I'm willing to bet you don't even need me to prep you..."

All it took was one lithe finger to prove his theory correct. It slid into me with ease, and I whined out at the contact. One finger swiftly became two, and after a few slow pumps with no resistance, he seemed satisfied. "Mmm, that's what I thought... You've been ready for me for a long time, haven't you?"

"Uh-huh," was all I could manage under the circumstances. Every word and every touch was rendering me incapable of anything more complex.

He removed his fingers from me then, and leaned down to nudge my nose with his own. "How are you feeling?" he asked me in a whisper, fluttering a gentle kiss over my lips as his cock barely teased my entrance. It was such a simple question, but it only deepened the desire I felt for him— It was gentle and attentive and intimate...

"Never better," I responded earnestly.

"Yeah?" he cooed. He pushed into me slowly then, and I gasped at the pressure. "Are you ready to take it?"

"Uh-huh," I stuttered once more, crying out silently when he finally bottomed out and ground his hips in a slow circle against my own.

"Tell me what you want, little girl," he begged sweetly against my lips. "Please, I need to hear you say it."

I gripped his shoulders and pulled back a little to hold his gaze, almost gasping out again at the way his hips pinned me down. It was difficult to form the perfect sentence, but I figured I didn't really need to say much at all― only the whimper-y, pathetic truth, which was, "I want you so bad..."

"As you wish."

The words barely left his lips before he began to move, hooking my legs around his forearms and spreading me apart further. He fucked me deeply, and with a steady pace that knocked the wind from my lungs and already had me seeing stars. That had never happened before.

Spencer could tell, a grin forming on his face as he freed one of his hands and softly traced my jaw. "Better than you thought?"

Absolutely. But there was something about that cocky grin on his face and the lilt in his voice that made me want to be difficult. I struggled to talk through heavy breathing, but I managed to choke out, "Don't... flatter yourself."

I don't quite know what I expected, but it was a bit of a shock to me when he hooked his thumb into my mouth and pressed down gently on my tongue, quickening his pace inside me and making me gasp out again.

"Aw... Are you not enjoying yourself?" he pouted without a single hint of sincerity; He knew I was.

I cried out and involuntarily closed my mouth around his thumb, my insides burning alive at all the sensations coursing through me. My cunt clenched around him, and he cried out himself, laughing softly as he did so. "That's what I thought..."

I wanted to watch him the way he watched me, to study his features and his movements and take it all in with reverence, but he was too fucking good at this. He was so skilled in the art of rendering me senseless, all I could do was lay there and take it. He gave himself to me in the most intimate, soul-crushing way, and I wanted to bask in it forever.

His other hand snaked along the inside of my thigh and held me open for him as he looked down, watching himself fuck me. I barely caught glimpses of his wandering gaze, wondering how he could be so focused when it was taking everything I had to stay cognizant. I blamed it on my lack of experience with good sex, and silently vowed to myself that one day I would return the favor.

Until then, I would lay at Spencer's mercy and take pleasure in the simple fact that he was willing to give me this― to give me a piece of himself that would no doubt ruin any other partner. He was setting the standard and exceeding it simultaneously. He was kind and caring and considerate. He was thorough and thoughtful.

And he was making me come. Hard.

The orgasm hit me out of nowhere, my body stuttering in quick, pulsing flashes of pleasure that got stronger and stronger each second. Spencer fucked me through it with ease, never missing a beat. His thumb slid out from my mouth and down my chin, allowing me to cry out for him all I wanted, which, seemingly was his goal.

"That's my good girl," he breathed, his voice tight. Perhaps he wasn't as put together as I thought. "Let it all out for me... Please..."

Please... God, that word sounded so good falling from his lips. It echoed in my mind as I gave him what he wanted, though not from choice. It was like his movements and his words were designed specifically to draw the sounds from my body. I would have given them to him anyway, but I didn't have to try, and that was the magic of it all. He knew exactly what would keep me mewling through the most intense pleasure of my life, and I was more than happy to allow him the pleasantry.

His orgasm came at the tail-end of mine, and though I was steadily growing tired at the exertion, I found the strength to clench around him again, recalling how he'd reacted before. I reached for his hand and allowed him to lace our fingers together as he came with a loud shuddering sigh.

Finally, I was able to focus, another chill running its course through my nervous system as Spencer pulsated inside me. His movements faltered as he spilled over, filling me so deep that I had no choice but to gasp again. My name sounded heavenly on his tongue as it danced in the air behind curses and sighs, and suddenly I understood why he enjoyed hearing my sounds so much. The warmth that bloomed in my chest as I watched and felt and heard him come undone above me delivered me to the most prideful of feelings.

I watched as his face relaxed, felt as his body eased and fell away from mine, and before I had time to even think of what to say, he was moving, kneeling at the end of the bed and spreading my legs again.

Oh, my God...

I couldn't even tell if I said the expression out loud, but I certainly felt its gravity in my bones, low and reverberating as Spencer inspected his work.

His fingers barely caught what had leaked out, and then his tongue followed suit, licking a gentle hot stripe up the seam of me. My fingers clutched at the comforter underneath me, searching for any sign of stability as my senses started to lose control once more.

"Darling," he praised, kissing the inside of my thigh, "you took me so well..."

I was halfway through telling him, "Thank you," when he started licking at my clit, making me stutter. He took his time, tasting me thoroughly while filling me with his fingers. Between drowning in the residual pleasure of my previous orgasm and also in the sounds he was making below me, it wasn't long before another one approached. It was sharp and quick, making my back arch up off the mattress as Spencer sucked my clit into oblivion.

Rather than incoherent cries of pleasure, the only thing that dared to leave my mouth at the sensation was a very loud, very appropriate, "Fuck!" to the evening air.

The curse tumbled out over and over again as the orgasm rocked through me, and he pulled himself away from me at the end of it with a shit-eating grin. "Such a dirty mouth..."

It took me a few seconds to catch my breath, shivering as he climbed back up on the bed and laid beside me. "You're one to talk, Doctor."

"I guess I'm a poor influence. Sorry."

It was mostly a joke, but I could tell that he believed there was some truth to his words. I did my best to reassure him, not only because he was my boss and I needed to reinstate the idea that we both made the decision to sleep together, not just him, but also because I secretly hoped he wouldn't regret the decision at all— regret me. Selfishly, I wanted to know if he'd consider keeping me around as more than just a nanny. I wanted to know if there was even a slight chance that this wouldn't end in total emotional disaster.

"You have nothing to be sorry for... Nothing..."

Spencer studied me for a moment, something settling in his eyes that I couldn't quite place, but it felt... warm. It was a different warmth than the searing heat that his gazes had radiated before. Perhaps it was wishful, foolish thinking, but I almost imagined it feeling akin to the realization that you were falling in love— the type of warmth that terrified yet excited you all the same, that triggered your nerves and also gave you hope.

It reminded me of that dangerous, beautiful hope that lingered in his smile every time he'd come home from a long day at work to see me and Benny safe and sound in the comfort of his home.

His hand gently brushed mine, I laced our fingers together, and that's when he finally responded.

"Neither do you, you know... I meant what I said. Every word." His fingers tightened in mine, and I felt myself become breathless again. "You're perfect. And I'm lucky to have you."

"You're just saying that because it's my birthday," I joked, trying to keep myself from crying in front of him. I didn't know why that was so important to me, especially considering just a few hours ago I'd decided not to hide the truth from him, no matter how emotional and teary of a truth it was.

Spencer pressed his forehead to mine, sighing my name through a smile. "You are... the best thing that has happened to me since Benny. I was afraid to admit it at the start, but... You're so good to him, and so good to me... I genuinely don't ever want to know what life would be like without you."

I couldn't help it then. My vision was suddenly obscured by tears, and I was blinking them away, letting him capture my lips in a tender kiss that rivaled any other.

I prayed in that very moment that there would be more like them in the future.

CODA: All My Rings Will Be Made of Gold.

Turns out, there had been plenty more, and then some.

It's hard to choose a favorite, though obviously I'm quite biased when it comes to my boys. So, I suppose it's easy for me to recall the night I got engaged as my favorite.

I wasn't nannying for Benny anymore; He was in school during the day (Kindergarten! I cried dropping him off on his first day, and Spencer had to console me with kisses and ice cream), and by that point I'd been moved into the apartment for almost a year.

I was out grocery shopping, and when I came home, there were flowers all over the floor, bright colors scattered in an obvious trail that led to the bedrooms. I didn't quite understand what was happening, but my heart still hammered in my chest, unable to shake that feeling of warmth and hope.

"Boys? What are you up to?" I called, dropping the bags off in the kitchen and following the flowers.

They were both kneeling on the floor of Benny's bedroom, Spencer with an open ring box in his hand, and Benny with a piece of paper in his.

"Will you be my mom?"

Really, how could I have said no? There isn't a world in which I ever would have, but even still. Benny was unable to sit still, waiting for me to answer him, and I remembered the night they presented me with that first birthday cake of many for years to come. He was the same way then, happier than ever to surprise me, and meanwhile all I wanted to do was burst into tears over how much love I was feeling.

Unlike that night, however, I was simply unable to tease him with the anticipation of an answer. I couldn't even pretend to consider it, not for a moment. It was the easiest answer I'd ever given. To this day, it still is.

Benny ran up and hugged me the tightest he ever had before, and Spencer got up from the ground to meet us, slipping a thin gold band on my finger as I repeated the word to him through the tenderest of kisses.

"Yes."

THE END.

[tonixe]

@everyone:

Who wants to request any 'The Boys' fics from me <3 💫🌠