lazyrezi

[lazyrezi]

anybody else hate how much it costs just to literally Eat Food and Stay Alive

[lazyrezi]

i can't explain it, but the older you get, the more you realize that the hornier, filthier the music is, the better it is for cleaning. it is not good for sex. it's good for cleaning. if it's breathtakingly misogynistic? even better. i'm sorry, Hollywood Undead, i'm sure you think Everywhere I Go was written to fuck to while blown out on a couple lines of coke, but you're wrong. it's for Fabuloso and industrial grade cleaning vinegar and degreaser. the only daddy here is Scrub Daddy. sorry.

[lazyrezi]

My aunt’s cat is very shy and hides when there are guests in her house. She semi-trusts my parents and will at least be in the same room as them. Tonight, my dad made some progress:

[lazyrezi]

little kids are so fucking funny man. had a kid that couldn’t be any older than like 8 or so come up to me today asking where our dinosaur books where, and when i tried to gently redirect them downstairs (where our kids section is) they very matter-of-fairly informed me that they’d already read every book down there and are ready to learn about the “secret, grown-up only dinosaurs” now

[lazyrezi]

Does anybody else track their life though a series of obsessions? Like “ah yes, i remember that happening, i was obsessing over Star Gate Atlantis at the time,” or, “this was during my Supernatural era.” I can map out my whole life in this way.

[lazyrezi]

companies make billions from you thinking you're ugly btw. only ugly thing is their bottom line. log out of tiktok right now.

[lazyrezi]

i love when cats roll around all cutely and then they look up at you like ₍^. .^₎ umm hi did you notices how cute i just was? did u see?

[lazyrezi]

okay once and for all

no nuance, no "oh but im allergic/its something different/whatever the fuck" either pick a side or dont answer

[lazyrezi]

absolutely hate it when the pleasurable activity procrastination hits. i’m going to do something fun that brings me joy but not yet. yeah, not yet. not yet. maybe i shouldn’t do it at all, it’s not that fun

[lazyrezi]

sunrise

[lazyrezi]

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

[lazyrezi]

who taught you that suffering in silence was noble, and how would you shutting up have benefited them?

[lazyrezi]

[lazyrezi]

[lazyrezi]

giant wholesome bean // infernal gremlin man

[lazyrezi]

Dominic having Victor Mitch and Sydney in his phone as big man, boss man and tiny terror was actually so funny of him we do not give that man enough credit