#We need more inkheart content

[atl4-s]

Made this instead of sleeping.

Don't take this too seriously, there's really no thought behind it, just what my sleep deprived brain came up with.

Hope you think its funny XD

[13tinysocks]

Creepypasta X Reader Fic Recs

25 fics under the cut. Some are done, some aren’t. These range from nostalgia trips to good reads, guilty pleasures, self promos. I haven’t read each of these, some just caught my eye or need some more love.

Various types of X reader’s with different love interests. Lengths range from 72 pages to 1,416 pages. Each one is linked for convenience!

Organized by character/group first and then by alphabetical order. Poly fics at the bottom. 

Feel free to add on your favs or even self promo!

Content warning: NSFW, suicide mentions, violence, stalking, you name it.

Don’t add fics with noncon or Offender Man.

Hoodie/Brian:

Keep Quiet Soulmate au

This fic isn’t finished and likely never will be. It’s about 200 pages and a pretty fun read! 

https://www.quotev.com/story/12133971/Keep-Quiet-Hoodie-x-Reader-SoulmateAU-ON-HOLD

Something Amiss Completed

You’ve definitely heard of this one if you’re in the X Reader loop. Wildly popular, super fun, witty, and thrilling this 427-pager’s gonna keep you entertained awhile!

https://www.quotev.com/story/12961622/Something-Amiss-Hoodie-x-Reader

We Decide Our Destiny Soulmate au

Comin’ in at 215 pages (so far) we got a great read for when ya don’t know what to do with ya life (/pos)

https://www.quotev.com/story/13108570/We-Decide-Our-Destiny-Hoodie-x-Reader-SoulmateAU

Eyeless Jack:

365 Days

You got a year left to live. In that time are you gonna fall for the one, the only man-eating heart throb?

https://www.quotev.com/story/13423775/365-DaysEJ-x-Female-Reader

Chains Completed

One of the OG cpp x reader fics. I don’t even gotta say anything, know your 246 pages of  history.

https://www.quotev.com/story/5032576/Chains-Eyeless-Jack-x-Reader

Creep Completed

219 pages of pure nostalgia right here baby!

https://www.quotev.com/story/6540114/Dark-Eyes-Eyeless-Jack-x-Reader

Eunoia

This 102 page thriller is for those attracted to the thrill of (being) the hunt.

https://www.quotev.com/story/12825705/eunoia-Eyeless-Jack-x-Reader

Killers and Demons and Ghosts, Oh my!

Another popular one! 492 pages, very interesting ride that literally everybody I know is in love with. Total page turner.

https://www.quotev.com/story/12844389/Killers-and-Demons-and-Ghosts-Oh-My

Jane The Killer:

Preternatural

Up and at ‘em lab rat! Keep your secrets close to your chest in this 204 page lesbian banger.

https://www.quotev.com/story/13172515/Preternatural-Jane-the-Killer-x-Female-Reader

Jeff The Killer:

A True Smile

This one’s for my edgy gays. Fuckin’ finally don’t see a lotta guy (Y/n)’s around. 327 pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/13412707/A-True-Smile-Jeff-the-Killer-x-Male-Reader

Tim/Masky:

Hitchhiker 

This 834 page monster of a fic will suck you into it’s drama faster than you can pick up some smelly stranger.

https://www.quotev.com/story/6218577/Hitchhiker-Masky-x-Reader

Hometown

Put on your thinking cap investigator, you’ve got a lotta work to do and coffee to drink. 322 pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/12349915/Hometown-Masky-X-Reader-

Text me Completed (?)

Talk about kiss me through the telephone. 183 pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/11897488/Text-me-Masky-x-Psychologist-Reader

(Ticci) Toby Rogers:

Playing Favorites Complete - Dark

Guilty pleasure fic for me. Not a romance, it’s a thriller about escaping a fucked up teenager. 232 pages. 

https://www.quotev.com/story/11666769/%E1%B4%98%CA%9F%E1%B4%80%CA%8F%C9%AA%C9%B4%C9%A2-%D2%93%E1%B4%80%E1%B4%A0%E1%B4%8F%CA%80%C9%AA%E1%B4%9B%E1%B4%87s-Ticci-Toby-X-Reader

Various (Pick one ending/One shots)

Bloody Mary One shots

127 pages of tooth rotting fluff, gay shit, and angst!

https://www.quotev.com/story/12721045/Bloody-Mary-Creepypasta-oneshots-HIATUS

Project: Outsiders Completed

Alright cracked out art kids, lets kick some ass. 304 pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/11061531/Project-Outsiders/1

Project: Inkheart (Book 2 to Project: outsiders)

Art kid kicks ass 2: Electric Bungaloo. 195 pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/11710253/Project-Inkheart

Morally Gray

This 487 page (turner) takes me way back to classic cpp x readers. Except without all the 2012 madness. If you know, you know. Good fun.

https://www.quotev.com/story/9399402/Morally-Grey-Creepypasta-x-reader/18

Poly! (99% Proxies AKA Tim, Brian & Toby):

A Midnight’s Curse 

A cabin in the woods style vaycay sounds relaxing. Being hunted down for hours, doesn’t. 269 pages, likely to never be completed. Fun read nonetheless. 

https://www.quotev.com/story/9664809/A-Midnights-Curse-YandereProxies-x-Reader/1

Destitute Dark

Trying to get your life together in early adulthood is hard. Shaking off an obsessed trio of killers is harder. 72 pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/13665696/Destitute-Proxies-x-Reader/1

Hooded Husbands Complete

151 pages of X Reader history right here. Definite nostalgia read for anyone around the fandom in 2015.

https://www.quotev.com/story/6211171/Hooded-Husbands

Lost My Mind Tonight (Tim & Brian only)

The only thing you wanna lose is those evil shits off your tail. You better run, fast. 143 Pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/12208091/Los%E1%A5%B1-M%E1%83%A7-M%CE%B9%E1%A5%92d-To%E1%A5%92%CE%B9ght-Prox%CE%B9%E1%A5%B1s

Spill Your Guts Completed - Dark

Had to get some self promo in here somewhere. 1,416 pages of murder, sex, and a lot of regret. 

https://www.quotev.com/story/12710266/Spill-Your-Guts-Proxies-X-Reader/1

The Hunt Is on (Clockwork/Natalie, Jane The Killer & Eyeless Jack)

A second coming of age tale about letting go of the past and embracing the present, terrifying as it may be. Spill Your Gut’s spiritual successor comin’ in at 965 pages so far.

https://www.quotev.com/story/12945584/The-Hunt-Is-On/1

You’ll Catch Your Death Dark

How far are you willing to go for revenge? Make a callout post? Pummel them? Key someone’s car? 

How about gambling your entire life? 470 pages.

https://www.quotev.com/story/13010513/Youll-Catch-Your-Death/1

[schleierkauz]

Resa and Cockerell?

Resa: When did you first read Inkheart?

I got the book for my 10th birthday and I think I started properly reading it a few months later? Maybe a year? I remember that it spent a long while just sitting next to my bed and I'd just reread the first few pages. My cat really liked to sit on it. :D Eventually I sat down to really focus on it and immediately became obsessed.

Cockerell: What are your hopes for the 4th Inkworld book?

Oh Man. Okay.

Generelly speaking, I hope it opens the Inkworld up a little more without feeling like Reckless Light™. I know Cornelia is really excited about drawing connections between the books and that's fair, but, to me at least, the two stories still feel very distinct. And I hope TCoR fits in with the other three Inkworld books instead of trying to be a hybrid. For example, if some plot point is resolved with the help of Magical Fairytale Item #72, I'm gonna be less than happy.

I also hope it doesn't introduce too many entirely new characters. There should be some, obviously, but the comments Cornelia made about how new people keep showing up in the story made me a little nervous... We already know and love so many players in this world, I want the focus to be on them. That said, I really love the whole witch thing and Jehan's friend sounds adorable, I DO want to know more about her! Just, give me a few chapters about Dustfinger and the Prince and their whole history. With everyone else fridged for the time being, those two should get some quality time together. :')

Speaking of Dustfinger, I am. torn.

Part of me wants him to murder Orpheus. Just straight up kill him.

On the other hand, though... It would feel weird. For all these years, he's been such a pacifist at heart, I wouldn't want him to deal with the emotional aftermath of what he's done. Because despite everything, I don't think he could just walk away from that. Remember when he killed Basta that second time? That scene, short as it is, doesn't feel violent at all. More like doing an old enemy a favor. And I love that moment but something like that wouldn't make sense with Orpheus... Maybe they end up in a situation where killing him would be the kind thing to do, and Dustfinger doesn't? I don't know... Either way, I'm looking forward to the inevitable confronation of these two.

Basically: Dustfinger can kill if he wants to. I'll support him no matter what. <3

Wow I need to shut up. Some more hopes of mine, lightning round:

Brianna content, specifically Brianna-finally-bonding-with-her-father-content (yes I'm still emotional about that wristband she made him)

We meet the Black Prince's younger sisters

The Barn Owl shows up or is at least mentioned

Some kind of throwback to Capricorn and his men, idc what exactly I just want them mentioned

Witch lore. I wanna know all about them.

At least one of the new characters is another Bird Person

Proper love interest for Violante (not the Black Prince, I don't think they'd work out in the long run (although they do make a pretty intense power couple.) (Also Brianna is literally right there-)

Gwin bites the shit out of someone and is also immortal

The Prince's bear bites the shit out of someone and is also immortal

"Orpheus' evil plan fails because Balbulus is racist" plot point stays, that shit is so funny to me

Cornelia really leans into the whole 'Illustration as magic' theme, esp in contrast to 'Writing/reading as magic' as we had it in the previous books

Mo does not fully go back to his Bluejay persona and people who were there for the events of Inkdeath but don't really know him are super confused about why he won't just kill his enemies

Resa however...

Thank you for the questions! :)

[takahero]

some basta x ww!reader au content, set pre-inkheart. in which basta tries to keep his identity a secret from someone he can never have, so he offers the only solution he can think of…cue clandestine rendezvous & painful foreshadowing

“We should run away.”

It’s the sheer absurdity of the proposition that makes you laugh. You crack open an eye, just to make sure he’s not joking.

Basta’s expression, however, is devoid of humour.

You shift upright, studying him with a look that’s torn between amusement and concern.

“Now why would we want to do that?”

“Why not?” He picks out a tuft of grass. “Or would you rather stay in this cursed hole forever?”

“Hm.” You’re tiptoeing now, piecing together this rather abrupt revelation. “And what makes you think there’s anything better out there?”

Beyond these shaded woods, where the wind sings in the trees. Past the shape-shifting clouds, sailing across the cerulean sky. When Basta finally answers, his voice sounds stripped, as honest as you’ve ever heard it.

“I don’t know,” he admits, before glancing up at you. “But don’t you want to find out?”

A small smile dances on your lips.

“No,” you say, surely. “Not any more than you do.”

Before he can object to that, you raise a hand to cradle his face, tracing the outline of his jaw. Sharp and angular, with an edge as keen as his biting snark. And yet, how he sighs — how he softens — at a single touch, eyes fluttering shut as if in a trance.

These stolen moments with him are becoming scarcer by the day. It doesn’t take a sage to recognise that something is weighing on his mind, but perhaps it is better not to ask. Perhaps it is better to simply be here and pretend, for a while, that all is well in the world.

So you kiss him, because sometimes words are too much and time is too little.

Basta places a hand behind your head, his fingers curling into the roots of your hair. You close your eyes, waiting for him to deepen the embrace. To your surprise, however, he draws you away from his body instead.

You’re about to complain until you take in his distracted countenance — fraught with an expression you’ve been noticing a lot more of lately. He swallows as he searches your eyes.

“I’m—” he starts, and clears his throat. “I’m serious.”

You sigh.

“Lombrica is my home,” you tell him, quietly. “I can’t leave.”

“Only because you’ve never tried.”

“Basta.”

He shuts his eyes, taking in a sharp breath. A muscle in his jaw twitches.

“We could go anywhere,” he whispers. He reaches for your hand, and brings it to his lips with an urgency that makes your heart stutter. It would be a lie to say that this impromptu proposal — if you dare call it that — and the yearning in his eyes is not making you want to reconsider. “Anywhere we want.”

“I know,” you assure him, fighting off an affectionate smile. “But my father needs me here.”

“Fine. He can come with us.”

“And what about his farm?”

Basta huffs.

“Oh, come on,” you laugh, brushing dandelion fluff from his hair. “It’s not so bad here.”

“But the wolves,” he insists. “You know, they say they’re not nearly as bad in the north.”

“That’s because nobody knows what’s in the north.”

“The Adderhead’s not,” he counters. Then, a pause. “And what about the Fire-Raisers?”

(If you had known better, you would’ve noticed the slight tremor of his tone.)

“What about them?”

He stares at you for a beat.

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“If any of those Fire-Raisers think they can hurt me,” you tell him, with an edge of defiance, “then they’ve got another thing coming.”

“Why?”

You throw him a soft smile, reaching out to entwine your fingers together.

“Because I’ve got you.”

And there it is again, that stricken look — flashing across his face and laying out his thoughts like an open book. Is it shock, or is it fear? In any case, it’s enough to make you wonder, at least for a moment, if any of this is what it seems.

He’s a walking enigma, star-crossed with contradictions. Impervious to violence, yet chastened by a glance. Drives people away, yet craves company. Asks you to run away with him, but won’t say he loves you.

Even if you could map him out, you think it still wouldn’t answer all of your questions.

This time, though, you feel like you’re getting closer. But just before you can slot the puzzle together, he pulls you back in, kissing you speechless, senseless. Until you forget about everything — the probing questions, the implication of a future, the strangeness of the entire conversation.

Until all you know is the prayerful sound of your name on his lips, repeated over and over, like a vow he might take to the Grave.

Well, only time will tell.

(If you had known better, you would’ve known it wasn’t fear. It was guilt.)

[ohfuckimlucifer]

dm me for the links (these are all direct links, i can always recommend good sites if needed):

- this is a long post-

contents: shows, musicals, and movies

shows-

New Girl: s1, part of s2, still in process (this is this month’s project)

buffy the vampire slayer (s1-3 mostly complete still editing a few episodes beyond that more scattered. in progress)

random spn episodes from season 1, 4, 5

years and years (s1)

x-men evolutions (s1-4)

wynonna earp (s1-3)

warehouse 13 (s1-5)

veronica mars (s1-3)

tru calling (s1-2)

torchwood (s1-4)

the umbrella academy (s1-2)

the sarah jane adventures (s1-5)

the magicans (s1-5)

the great (s1)

the following (s1-3)

the flash (s1-6)

friends (s1-10)

the batman (s1-5)

supergirl (s1-5)

stitchers (s1-2)

stargirl (s1)

shetland (s1-5)

saving hope (s1-2)

sanctuary (s1-4)

runaways (s1-3)

raising dion (s1)

prodigal son (s1)

primeval (s1-5)

NIKITA (s1-4)

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries (s1-3)

Merlin (s1-5)

Lost Girl (s1-5)

Legends of Tomorrow (s1-5)

Killjoys (s1)

Killing Eve (s1-3)

i hate suzie (s1)

house of anubis (s1-3)

his dark materials (s1)

hart of dixie (s1-4)

hannibal (s1-3)

grimm (s1-6)

good omens (s1)

fringe (s1-5)

firefly & serenity (s1)

eureka (s1-5)

emerald city (s1)

dollhouse (s1-2)

doctor who (1963-1989, 2005-Present0

deadly class (s1)

Constantine (s1)

code lyoko (s1-4)

cloak and dagger (s1-2)

Class of the Titans (s1-2)

Class (s1)

black lightning (s1-3)

birds of prey 2002 (s1)

batwoman (s1)

Arrow (s1-8)

Sabrina the teenage witch (s1-7)

how i met your mother (s5-6)

sherlock the empty hearse episode

movies-

legally blonde 

for a good time, call...

veronica mars

La femme nikita

Point of no return

Miss Fisher and the crypt of tears

serenity

ww84

harry potter (complete series)

the mummy (complete series)

the hunger games (complete series)

x-men of the future past

wolf children

v for vendetta

twelve monkeys

toy story 3

Titan AE

The Time Traveler’s Wife

The shape of water

the queen

princess diaries

phantom of the opera

greatest showman

the dark knight

chronicles of narnia private caspian

the colour of magic

tangled

star trek (2009)

spy school

spiderman far from home

rogue one

proffeser marston and the wonder women

perrier’s bounty

mission impossible ghost protocol

maze runner the death cure

kick-ass

justice league

jack of red hearts

inkheart

i kill giants

how to train your dragon

hocus pocus

galaxy quest

frozen 2

finding forester

fairy tale (the movie)

Easy A

definitely, maybe

crazy stupid love

caroline

chicago

chastity bites

bridge to terabithia

black panther

birds of prey and the fantabolous emancaptation of one harley quinn

batman gotham

away we go

anonoymous

an adventure in space and time

alice

alladdin

a league of their own

500 days of summer

27 dresses

17 again

the irshman

maleficant: mistress of evil

let it be

yellow submarine

help

magical mystery tour

how i won the war

hard day’s night

musicals-

waitress

xmas story

sunday in the park george

spongebob

school of rock

romeo and juliet

rent

picnic

phantom 

on your feet

miss saigon

mary poppins

Les Mis

jersey boys

into the woods

in the heights

hello dolly

hairspray

groundhog day

fiddler on the roof

dear evan hansen

cursed child

charlie and the choclate factory

carrie 

book of mormon

hamilton

beautiful

american pyscho

american idiot

amelie

3 muskeeters

hadestown

chicago

falsettos

legally blonde

tuck everlasting

the guy who didn’t like musicals

twisted

firebringer

sweeney todd

notes-

i did not create most of these, i do not take credit to them. they might not be the best ones but you can watch these on wifi that doesn’t have youtube or google drive blocked and that’s always importnat. like, what do you think imma do during algebra class. pay attention? 

[ravenclaw-headcanons]

moving forward and propositions

tldr; although this blog has been p much abandoned I still think we could have some fun here with a bit of reformatting and fresh ideas. any thoughts on things you’ve enjoyed from this blog or things you’d like to see in the future? or do you think there’s nothing wrong with the format and I should just go back to posting headcanons like normal?

hey

long time no see.

it's been, what 18 months since I was properly active on this blog? actually I just checked and the last headcanon was posted in Jan 2019. mad

when I sent out the word that I wouldn't be keeping up with this blog anymore I cited graduating and starting a full time job as the primary causes. essentially that I just didn't have the time to dedicate to this blog anymore. which was and still is true tbf

but I also (semi) abandoned this blog for the less admirable fact that my heart just wasn't in it. I guess you could probably tell that considering the headcanons kept getting scarcer and scarcer. I guess it's just, I've always loved having this community y'know. we've had great discussions on here and held events and forged friendships and that was really cool to have

but in terms of what this blog actually is

I don't know. I mean I can't say I have my finger on the pulse of fandom culture the way I did back in 2015, but when I started this blog it really felt like we'd found this untapped thing that people could be passionate about and engage with in a new way

I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm some sort of innovator. in fact I stole the premise of this blog from mugglebornheadcanon. but there was still something new and exciting about it

I had loads of ideas and people had tons of their own headcanons they wanted to share and idk I guess it was just nice to have a creative space for people who were all passionate about the same thing

whereas now we're 1000 headcanons deep, I have nothing left to give, and there are tons of other blogs out there who can do this way better than I can. I'm not saying that in a self pitying way. it's just to have a blog like this that feeds off ideas and creativity you kind of need some passion, or at least inspiration

anyway this is all a very convoluted way of asking for a community brainstorm

because I still think this blog is great, and has the capacity to be the community driven creativity vortex that it was, I just don't think this is the way to go

hey, maybe you'll all reply and say 'no we've still got hundreds of headcanon ideas please let us post them!!' but my intuition is saying it might be time to move onto other content? it just feels a bit like the well has run dry on this kind of content, but wouldn’t it be awesome if we could find something new that relit that old spark?

so I guess this is a general call for ideas? a heads up to the muse of inspiration that now might be a good time to strike

if anyone has any thoughts or ideas on a way we could direct this blog to actually being, well something then please drop me a message!!

general musings so far on my part are that by far my favourite parts of running this blog were the various community events. ravenclaw pride day, the advent calendar, secret santa, harry potter playlists, and primarily the rereads we did

if you missed them, on this blog we hosted rereads for the 20th anniversaries of PS, CoS, and PoA where everyone would read one or two chapters a day. people would post their thoughts on the chapters, artwork, their progress on reading in another language, jokes, I posted discussion questions every day, it was pretty much a free for all

I don't know, maybe there's not a way of turning that into its own project. I mean theoretically I could set up a blog dedicated to hosting those kind of events. obviously having breaks in the middle, but it could be kind of fun. percy jackson would be a great one to do, or maybe the hunger games, narnia, asoue, his dark materials, twilight, spiderwick, inkheart etc

idk the issue is theoretically it could be great fun. we could have community votes on what people would like to reread, we could reread books slowly so it's not really a commitment, and revisit some books we've all loved or maybe even some newer books

but I guess it’s more of a question of whether that could ever work in practice. like again theoretically I’d love to tie each event in to raising money for a charity (again by public vote). I mean wouldn't it be great to have a reread of GoF where people were encouraged to donate £1 to a charity to support trans people? or maybe raising money to help kids with ADHD when reading PJO?

I think I’m getting too ambitious haha

tbh the real thing that was great about this blog is the community feel it had. a group of people who all love hp and learning and creativity and expressing themselves and so really what I’d like to do is find some way to recapture that, however you guys see fit

I am obviously have no illusions about the fact that this blog is not active, and its followers are (mostly) not active so I know any projects would likely be on a smaller scale. but hey, I started this blog with a following of about 1k on my multi fandom blog so anything can happen when you hit on a good idea

and I think there’s still a great idea lurking here somewhere, I just need a bit of help from you guys to find it

so let me know what you think and I guess I’ll see where the wind takes us

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Could I be curious for a hot second? I swear I saw in a post you did the other day that you haven’t read ACD canon? This is absolutely not a judgement ask or anything but I’m always curious to find out how/why people resist reading the original works of modern adaptations. Is it just not your cup of tea or did you watch Sherlock for the actors? etc. I’m one of those who when they love something, it quickly becomes an obsession and have to read every book, article, Twitter post there is about the thing before I’m satisfied..

Also could I add in, what do you think of Tiny Little Houses - I Hate That You’re Happy for Johnlock Playlist?..

Thank you for all you do, I think I basically save every one of your posts to read later..it’s a lot!

HI LOVELY!!

OOOF I dunno how or when I got this and totally missed it, but I totally apologize because this is a quick-response ask. Tumblr’s been... hiding new stuff from me lately, and it’s kinda frustrating :|

ANYWAY: Firstly, I’m gonna mention that I’m putting the JLPL suggestion on a separate ask that is now behind a SLEW of Playlist submissions (I dunno why it’s suddenly popular again, LOL) so keep an eye out for that in the coming weeks LOL.

Secondly, no offense taken at all to the boldness of your ask; I’ve actually been asked this quite often and honestly I DON’T have a good reason.

So yeah, honestly? These are good questions, and fun ones to reply to. Ah, I actually have my besties to thank for me getting into Sherlock. Believe it or not, I didn’t really know much about Ben until I saw Sherlock; my first recollection of seeing his face was as Khan in Into Darkness, and I loved that movie (I know I’m among a small few who do love ST:ID; I KNOW the problems with it, I just REALLY like everyone’s acting in it), and I knew of Martin, actually, which is why I agreed to watch the show. So yeah, I went to visit my friends one weekend, and on the Sunday night before I left (it was a holiday weekend, so I always leave on the Monday), we pulled up Netflix and put it on. I WAS FASCINATED. I LOVED IT. We only got through the first season, so when I got home, I torrented that bitch and watch all of S1 and S2 in one sitting the following weekend. And I already had a Tumblr at that time, so I just... lurked blogs, and then I started getting really into it. 

Long-short, this blog was created just before S3, so I could start interacting with other fandom people, and try my hand at meta (which I partook in extensively on the regular until everyone left). The name “inevitably-johnlocked” actually came about because I was a platonic bromance shipper when I first saw the show, until I got REALLY into it, and started educating myself and interacting with very lovely queer people, who in turn gave me the gift of self discovery. I was, rightfully so, inevitably destined to be a Johnlocker :) I laugh to myself about that all the time. It’s not even funny, but I have a few little easter eggs all over the place on my blog / posts that if you know small things about me, they’re rather amusing to weird people like me.

BUT ANYWAY, that wasn’t your question, LOL. With regards to ACD canon, truth is exactly this: I just never got around to it. I’ve no reason to NOT read them, I’m just a literal garbage human who eats fanfiction like Skittles. I haven’t read anything OTHER than fanfiction in literal YEARS. I think the last book I bought was the Inkheart Trilogy (WHICH BY THE WAY THERE NEEDS TO BE A JOHNLOCK AU FOR, where John is either the writer or the Silver Tongue [or both], his kid is Meggie, Mary has died / left him, and Sherlock is either his creation or we’ll go really meta and he IS the ACD character, and that’s how he meets John Watson, but I digress. I think about this a lot), which I love dearly. But I just haven’t really taken a break from reading fanfics since like... twenty... fourteen? Yeah, that’s when S3 came out. And then, yeah, I just read downloaded books now on my phone, and I just... never got around to downloading the ACD canon books. I know exactly where to get them, but I guess I’m just SO immersed in the BBC canon that I do like you do, except with EVERYTHING BBC canon, LOL. Except S4, LOL, that can go burn in the dumpster.

(as an aside, my consumption and adoration and obsession of fanfics works in everyone’s favour, really: I get content, you guys get more and more stuff to read that has my good-for-nothing-seal-of-approval, and because of the kind of neuroticism I do have, everything is meticulous and evolves with the fandom)

So yeah, TL;DR: I’m lazy. That simple. And I know it would probably be better for me to read them so that I can answer stuff with certainty, but I’ll be blatantly honest: I LOVE being a middle person to the interactions between y’all, and when you guys impart your knowledge onto me about stuff. It helps keep my blog interactive, and honestly, that’s fun :) 

Cheers for your lovely compliments on my blog, hahah. Yeah, I’ve a lot of posts, so if there’s anything specific you’re looking for, let me know, or I probably have a tag for it <3 Take care!! <3

[carriagelamp]

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood: The Poetry of Mister Rogers

This is an anthology collection of the various poems and songs that appeared in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, with art by Luke Flowers. It is exactly as zen as you think it will be. If you are in need of something soft, loving, and affirming right now in the terror that is 2020, go pick this book up. I read it all over the course of two days and feel like a better person for it.

Asterix in Britain

I decided to watch my french Asterix movies on a whim the other week, and that got me rereading all the old Asterix comics I grew up with (Asterix and Obelix All At Sea, Asterix the Legionary, Asterix and the Black Gold, Asterix and the Great Divide, Asterix and the Secret Weapon…) I decided to use in Britain as my representative though because to this day it’s one of my all time favourites, and it’s one of the first ones we ever owned — while the others my brother and I collected avidly over the years (any time we were allowed to pick a new comic out of the book store) I can’t remember a time when we didn’t have this volume at home. There fun, detailed illustrations, goofy puns, over the top slapstick, and endless love between the characters seriously melts my heart every time I pick them up. Though I have to admit, the Secret Weapon sure is a bigger shitshow than I realized as a kid…

The Barnabus Project

This is a new Canadian picture book I’ve been meaning to get my hands on for a few months. It is very neat. It’s a bit more of an involved adventure story than you often see in picture books, while still not entering the domain of graphic novel or chapter book. It’s about a company that genetically engineers “perfect” pets for the public to buy. But deep beneath the storefront, well under the streets, are the sinister labs where the “failed” projects are kept, waiting to be recycled back into parts. This is where Barnabus lives, and this is where Barnabus and his friends must break free from. A thrilled little book with adorable art!

Bunnicula

This is actually my first time reading this book, though I’ve meant to ever since I was a kid. For anyone that doesn’t know this classic, it’s told from the point of view of the family dog, who witnesses his owners bring home a strange new pet: a pet rabbit named Bunnicula, with black fur that looks like a cape and the strangest teeth ever seen on a rabbit… The housecat is even more alarmed, and the two of them begin to investigate the strange occurrences going on around the rabbit and protect their family from sinister forces. It’s a very cute chapter book and a nice soft intro to the “horror” genre without going quite as dark as Goosebumps.

Care Bears: Unlock The Magic

This was… hm. Something. It was cute. The art of this graphic novel has certainly modernized the care bears from their original style, but it’s not a bad thing — the simple, bold shapes are actually pretty enjoyable. You have the care bears on a mission to protect the land of these strange new creatures from dark, “heartless” forces. Overall, if you’re in the mood for something soft and nostalgic that’s been transported into 2020, it’s not a bad read... though I can’t say it wow’ed me.

Emma and the Blue Genie

Another adorable novella (chapter book? Somewhere between the two?) by Cornelia Funke who I don’t think is capable of writing a bad story. Like all her books, this one is charming and whimsical and feels strangely classic. Emma and her wiener dog Tristan sneak out of their house one night for some peace and quiet, and discover an unusual bottle that washes up on the shore. When they release it, a small blue genie is released and Emma learns of the horrible events that befell him and his master in a far off land. A horrible yellow genie stole the source of his magic, forcing him into this small, weakened form, and has besieged the land now that the blue genie is out of the way. The blue genie seems to heartbroken that Emma can’t help but promise her help, and accompanies him across the sea… A fun little story for anyone that enjoyed Aladdin.

The Erth Dragons: The Wearle

The first miserable failure of a book I read this month. I couldn’t finish it and didn’t even try. It sounded like cool scifi dragons, but what I got was a pack of sixty dragons off exploring. A team that included a grand total of three female dragons. Who are there for, it seems, breeding. One of which is fridged immediately to jump start the main character’s story. This is a book I may have read in middle school, but I was thrilled to realize I actually have choices now and don’t need to tolerate this shit. Do not fucking bother, the world building is obnoxious as well.

 Flawed Dogs

Now this one was a delight. As quirky and bizarre and charming as Berkeley Breathed’s work always is. This is a novel that starts with a prized pure-bred dachshund, Sam the Lion, one who is a once in a life time example of doggy bred perfection. However things get mixed up on his way to the snobby dog-show-loving owner who purchased him and he ends up instead in the arms of a young girl who adores him as only children can, completely indifferent to any “perfection” he may have. The happiness of girl and dog fosters resentment in the household’s other dog, a show dog who is pampered but not loved. So begins a horrible sequence of events that sees Sam cast out of the house, horribly mutilated, and left to fend for himself in a cruel world. Flawed Dogs manages to deliver both dogs with rocket-propulsive farts as well as grim questions about what the nature of life, perfection, and vengeance means to a wronged party who has had his life destroyed beyond all recognition.

This was my favourite book of the month, and I would HIGHLY recommend it, but maybe give it a miss if you’re squicked by animal brutality because this book delivers very funny moments, very heartwarming moments, and very upsetting animal abuse in fairly equal measure.

The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell

The second disappointing book of the month. I’ve heard so many good things about this series! About how it’s gotten so many kids to fall in love with reading and series and more complex narratives! I’ve been really excited to read it, because I love me a twisted fairy-tale. Unfortunately this seems to be a very good series for kids, and a very poor story for adults who are used to the tropes of a basic fairy-tale inspired fantasy novel. The writing was unfortunately bland and it was chockablock of clichés and stereotypes that are frankly rather unappealing. Maybe things get better as it progresses, but the series didn’t hold my interest for long enough for me to find out. Honestly, it just made me want to go and reread Inkheart instead.

Little Tails in the Jungle

The Little Tails series is an adorable blend of picture book, comic, and nonfiction educational. It shows Chipper and Squizzo as they adventure around different ecosystems and interact with the wildlife there, sharing interesting facts and trying to keep out of trouble. It’s a pleasant read for an adult that likes well done wildlife art, and fantastic for kids that are craving accessible nonfiction content about animals.

When Santa Fell to Earth

My second Cornelia Funke novella of the month. This is a Christmas favourite of mine, and I reread it around December every couple years or so. In this story, Nikolas is a young Santa who is on the run. The North Pole has been taken over by a faction of Santa’s who have given up on the traditional values of Christmas and have decided instead to focus on a more sterilized, corporate type of Christmas, one with clear present transactions and a hefty bottom line. Any dissenting Santas are hunted down and dealt with. Nikolas is one of the sole surviving rebel Santas who has managed to stay ahead of the Santa hunters… or he had, until his reindeer panics in a thunderstorm and sends his caravan crashing down to earth, to broken to lift off again. Stuck at the side of a little residential street, Nikolas befriends a couple of local children who help him, his elves, and his angels try to get things sorted out and ready to go before Christmas — or the Santa hunters — arrive.

Wintersmith

More Pratchett, and in this case another seasonally appropriate read. This is the third book of the Tiffany Aching series, in which Tiffany, a young apprentice witch, joins her mentor at the secretive dark morris dance, a ritual that happens in the winter to welcome the changing of the seasons, just as the regular morris dance heralds summer. Tiffany, though, doesn’t just hear the music but feels it in bones, and before she knows it she finds herself compelled to join in, to fill in a strange empty spot she can’t look away from. She does, in fact, find herself dancing with the Wintersmith, and now there are snowflakes coming down with her face crafted into them, frost that lovingly spells out her name, and a winter that doesn’t seem inclined to leave anytime soon. Tiffany made a mistake, and now people are going to die if she doesn’t do something.

[nyelung]

Every scar tells a story

But not every story has to be a sad, life-changing one. Content warnings for: wounds, mentions of self-harm (though not explicit or graphic), some blood, scars and illness.

STOP READING IF ANY OF THAT COULD TRIGGER YOU!

Ok, back to topic. Scars. In writing I like to use scars to tell things about my character and maybe, sometimes, I overdo it. Actually, most times I overdo it. Scars can show a lot about a character’s history and that’s great and, yes, we all love that life-changing event that ended in a scar. Be it Harry Potter’s lightning scar or Dustfinger’s (Inkheart) knife scars in the face.

But, let’s be real, unless your character is a clone trooper that was bred to fight for the Galactic Republic, it’s highly unlikely that all scars hold a dramatic/traumatic/life-changing or sad past. I mean, I used to self-harm and I got scars from that (though not many, thankfully) but I got more scars from dumb accidents and chickenpox. Did you know there’s a vaccine now for chickenpox? If you can get vaccinated, do it. Cause chickenpox can come back later to bite you in the ass and it’s not nice to see.

That’s already a good point, btw, for world- and characterbuilding. Typical fantasy setting? Then they had the pox there and the pox, if you survive, leave some ugly scars. But it tells us that the area where the character comes from was a)hit by pox and b) the character got a sturdy condition that time because you don’t survive the pox otherwise in most cases. Unless you are vaccinated or been hit by a more harmless variety, you know, which is basically a high risk vaccination.

But there’s also a lot of other ways to get scars. For example from animals. Doesn’t even have to be a brutal tiger or wolf. I got a pair of scars from my cat because I - stupid as I am - tried to break up a cat fight while they were both being highly aggressive. Got the scars now but I also succeeded. So that’s that.

I got a scar on my forehead from trying to close the curtains. Yep. Let’s just say that I was smol, very stubborn and the curtains were stuck so when I pulled really hard to close them (the sun was bothering me) I pulled the whole pole thing down and the tip was very pointy and sharp and my child skull wasn’t very hard yet.

I got a scar from riding the unicycle where I jumped down from it and got the pedal stuck in my leg. I got a scar from the bunny cage where the wire caught on my toe. I got a scar from a loose wire in a box that I was carrying. Actually, I got a lot of dumb scars.

You get my drift? Not every scar needs a dramatic reveal and explanation. Let your characters have been dumb once and again. Makes them more real and also gives you anecdotes to tell about them.

[colescorner]

How I Became a Reader

Every reader has a story of how they became the reader they are today. For some it started when they were young, or if they had a really good English teacher or parent that helped foster their love of reading. For me it was a combination of things, my teachers and my parents encouraged me to read, but I also found the right book at the right and found a budding community of readers online. Here is my story of how I became a reader.

The Early Years

I wish I could say I was a reader from a young age, but I wasn't. My parents did their part and read to me often and when I learned to read and could read on my own, I just didn't find the book that piqued my interest enough to foster a love of reading. I had plenty of books and sometimes I would be in the mood to read, but I just hadn't found the book that would make me into a reader. One of the first books I remember really enjoying was Inkheart by Cornelia Funke, my 4th grade teacher read it to us and I thought it was so cool, I looked forward to it everyday. After that, I did not really find a book I gravitated toward until late middle school when I found Storm Thief by Chris Wooding and I had that book for awhile before I finally finished it and then it was only a year or two later when I found the book that changed it all.

The Book

I honestly believe I found the right book at the right time, the stars aligned and I felt the urge to want to read. It all started as a regular trip to the store, my mom and I were going to just grab a few things she needed for dinner and I usually would go into the electronics section and just on the other side was the book section, and sometimes I would look at the books just to see if anything piqued my interest. As I made my way back to electronics, I stopped in the book section first and was just browsing and looking at all the different covers and as I was browsing I found a book that had a shirtless guy on the cover covered in glowing tattoos and the title was called "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" which I thought was an odd title compared to the cover, but I picked it up anyway.

I read the synopsis which sounded cool and then I started to read the book and I read the prologue, chapter 1 and most of chapter 2 before my mom found me and said "what are doing over here in the book section?" I told her I was browsing before I went to electronics and this book caught my attention and I just started reading it. I asked my mom if she would buy it for me and she looked really surprised because I had never asked for a book before but she agreed since it was just one book and we left and I took it home and went straight upstairs and started reading it immediately.

Not only were the characters relatable, but the writing was easy to follow, I could easily imagine everything in my head and the writing was funny which really stuck out to me. One of the things I also loved about the book was that it was real and didn't sugar coat things for the characters and that their actions had definite consequences. Death was a common subject talked about in the books because of the fact that the characters are warriors sworn to protect the world from demons. It was a breath of fresh air that the characters did not always get a happy ending and that a lot was at stake for them and I loved that aspect. I also loved the representation of LGBTQI+ characters in the series, I wasn't out when I first started reading this series but seeing a strong gay character like Alec Lightwood gave me so much confidence. After finishing those first three books, I was determined to find other books that were in the same ball park so where did I turn...the internet of course.

The Internet

It wasn't long after reading City of Bones that I discovered people were making videos about books they had read and put them on online. Being a reader is traditionally a very solitary hobby but with the rise of social media, more and more people where sharing what they were doing online and some people were filming book reviews, book hauls and other bookish content and posting it on YouTube. As that reading community grew, the people making this bookish content were called "BookTubers" and referred to their community as "BookTube." One of the first BookTubers I discovered was Polandbananasbooks, aka Christine Riccio, she had read City of Bones and had made a book review on it where she talked about the book, the plot, its characters, and the feels she had. She was quite funny and I enjoyed her perspective on it and found that she had made videos about other books she had read and so I started watching those videos and then I found other BookTubers who had read either the same books or similar books and would many of the BookTubers would make videos recommending books that were similar in plot, theme and genre so that their viewers could find similar books. I had fallen down a rabbit hole and learned about so many other books that were either similar or just sounded interesting that I wanted to be sure to have on my radar.

Not only were people making videos about bookish things but there was also a new social media site that recently came out in the early years of me being a reader and it was called Goodreads, which was basically like facebook for reading, but the cool thing was that it had a built in database of books that one could log their reading progress, be apart of an online book club and even participate in annual challenges. I became obsessed with Goodreads and have been tracking my reading progress since the site launched. I also discovered the blog site Tumblr and began following book bloggers and soon I started my own blog where I share what I'm reading as well as posting other bookish content.

The Result

Thanks to the combination of being a new avid reader and having access to the booming success of social media, I was able to foster my love for reading while connecting with other readers across the globe in a welcoming community. I hope to have a similar effect on a new reader the way the bloggers and youtubers had an effect on me. Thanks to growing up in a world with social media, I was able to find the book that gave me that reading spark and find other like minded people recommend other books that developed my genuine love of books and reading.

[illusteresa]

The Book I’ll Never See Again

Passive Adventures of a Book and its Reader

A few weeks ago I borrowed a book from the LRC about a subject that we had to research for a module. I spent a long time with this fine book, he had so much knowledge inside his pages and I even felt anxious while working with him due to the short period of time I had for this assignment.

I lived a whole journey with this book. I took him to the laundry with me to be studied, I roamed around campus trying to find people with him under my arm, I ran after the bus carrying its weight on my back, I slept with him laying on my desk.

I know how weird this might seem but I started to work with this book that isn’t mine and then I needed to return him to the library and for the first time I had the sensation of loss towards an object of no value to me. This feeling probably only appeared now because I never had such a good library at my disposal back in Portugal. Seeing him being taken away for shelving with the unknown crowd of books I know nothing about, he disappears so quickly that he leaves a hole inside my chest knowing how hard it would be to find him again. I guess when I close myself to study and end up studying day and night non-stop I create a relationship with the studied object, some sort of attachment to it (Kwok, Grisham & Norberg, 2018) and he became a memento of feelings, a ride through knowledge, a week’s companion.

Of course the feeling didn’t last much but still, to my surprise, it happened. I get easily attached to things I own or make but never to things that don’t belong to me. It was evident to me that book’s subject had no connection whatsoever to why I got such feeling. This was a feeling I had to research about: it was seriously worrying to me the fact that I missed a book that wasn’t even that impressive in his content. It´s like I was a lover to someone who never saw me as anything other than that since books have no feelings. I felt a piece of my journey was being taken away. And it was. And now this book is back in the shelf where it all started and it will take probably a year until someone picks him up again.

The Power of a Book

I knew that if I started to research about the pure relationship between someone and an object I would find loads of fiction and non-fiction regarding hoarding, mementos, souvenirs, memory boxes and more so I decided to stick to the book theme for now.

There are some great romances about the importance of books to one’s memories and how relationships bloom from them like Markus Zusak’s dramatic novel “The Book Thief”. Other publication’s rely on the books content and how life changing such information was for them like the historical fiction “People of the Book” by Geraldine Brooks, “Reading Lolita in Tehran” by Azar Nafisi, “Fahrenheit 451” written by Ray Bradbury or Molly Guptill Manning’s non-fiction book “When Books Went to War” whose idea was sparked by an event in May 1933 Germany where books were burnt in a huge bonfire in the middle of the street (Ritchie, 1988) just like Geraldine Brooks and Ray Bradbury’s books. This triggers me in such a way but I am not going to focus on how outrageous this act was even though it was a symbolic act by university’s graduates. Still, one should never burn a book, ever. Give it away if you must, but never throw it out like that (I could go on and on about the book bonfire of 1933 but I’ll leave it for another post).

A title I found with some similarities to what I felt was “The man who loved books too much” by Allison Hoover Bartlett which talks about a thief that steals books due to loving them so deeply. Of course his feelings towards these books come from its content which does not relate to what I felt.

In juvenile literature I found one book about a similar subject which is “O Caderno Vermelho da Rapariga Karateca” (the karateka’s red notebook) by Ana Pessoa which shows the main character’s relationship with her notebook where she writes and rambles about her life, makes up stories and questions the world and other philosophical subjects while interacting with it. But still it has no resemblance to what I felt: There is an end to it but she doesn’t feel loss since the notebook is hers. Another Juvenile publication I found compelling is one where the book is the narrator of its history since the invention of the alphabet till nowadays’ ebooks simply named “Book” by John Agard. Both of these have graphics that will amaze any reader despite his or her age. The Illustrations are splendid.

Caldecott honor book “The Red Book” by Barbara Lehman also revolves around a book but what resides inside of the book is what hooks the reader through the sequential narrative. This red book brings people together and is lost and passed to other people’s hands constantly - if the story where to keep going, a lot of people would meet due to stumbling upon the red object. Though the story’s primary focus is a book, it is only a portal to another place on earth, to another person. Since it is a postmodern wordless picturebook, this is my personal interpretation but it can vary immensely.

A book with some similarities in the sensation of possession is a fantasy called “Inkheart” where there is a magical book who trapped the protagonist’s mother inside when she was young. In this book the attachment is visible but is due to having someone imprisoned inside, not due to the object in itself which is the craved subject of every character for the powers he holds.

One intriguing book I found with a much similar subject to my little adventure was “Too Loud a Solitude” by Bohumil Hrabal where the main character’s simple way of living among books and his immense knowledge is portrayed. This one relates to what I felt since the only company the narrator has is its books which he has connected with until he loses his job along with the access to more knowledge. 

In terms of art with books I found this beautiful project called “The Book” where the author Julius Friedman, a designer, made series of collages and photos from old books that were given to him by a librarian. Funny enough it was not the book’s amazing imagery that I found compelling but how he was bugged by them being in his desk alone waiting for him to do something with them and how he ended up doing so. How the fact of the book pile existence made him change from not being able to cut books up to making them into art pieces shows the power the book has as an object and not only as a source of information.

None of these books about books portray the book as the main focus in their plot. They do not show the feeling I had. The more research i made on the subject the more I was convinced: there is a lack of literacy portraying this subject, specially to children who I feel need it mostly. So what if I filled this literary gap? Children often get attached to their toys but what about being attached to a book? The value of the book as an object itself is not a subject that has been approached yet in children literature and I sincerely believe that, if it was, it could change the way kids look at a book by showing its value throw a postmodern way.

Now I look back after researching and I feel amazed with my findings so I decided to sketch a little story (see images below). My effort for the module’s assignment hopefully paid off, I had an idea for an exploratory illustration series about the romance between a book and her reader and I gained culture and learnt a bit more about myself and literary history.

References:

Agard, J. (2014) Book: “My Name is Book and I’ll Tell You The Story of My Life...”. London: Walter Books.

Bradbury, R. (1953) Fahreheit 451. New York: Ballantine Books.

Brooks, G. (2008) People of the Book. Danvers: Penguin Books.

Friedman, J. (2016) The Book, Louisville: Old Stone Press.

Funke, C. (2003) Inkheart. Somerset: Chicken House.

Guptill Manning, M. (2014) When Books Went to War: The Stories that Helped Us Win World War II. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Hoover Bartlett, A. (2009) The Man Who Loved Books Too Much: The True Story of a Thief, a Detective, and a World of Literary Obsession. New York: Riverhead Books.

Hrabal, B. (2007) Too loud a Solitude. London: Abacus

Kwok, C., Grisham, J.R. & Norberg, M.M. (2018) “Object attachment: Humanness increases sentimental and instrumental values.” Journal of behavioral addictions. [Online] 7 (4). Available from:  https://akademiai.com/doi/full/10.1556/2006.7.2018.98 [Accessed 26th October 2019].

Lehman, B. (2004) The Red Book, Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Nafisi, A. (2003) Reading Lolita in Tehran. New York: Random House Trade Paperbacks.

Pessoa, A. (2012) O Caderno Vermelho da Rapariga Karateka. Lisbon: Planeta Tangerina.

Ritchie, J. M. (1988) “The Nazi Book-Burning.” The Modern Language Review. [Online] 83 (3). Available from: https://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/3731288.pdf [Accessed 25th October 2019].

Zusak, M. (2006) The Book Thief. New York: Alfred A. Knopf.

[schleierkauz]

NOOO WAY A RARE INKWORLD BLOG?!?!?? i love you so much thank you for indulging my niche interests…im rereading inkheart and i feel like i only absorbed 2% as a child but now i am appreciating it so much more. who is your fave character??

*high fives u*

hell yeah dude it's good to have you here!! come on in!!! who is YOUR favorite character?

I love all my children equally but honestly Brianna has a special place in my heart. She's perfectly inbetween being relatable and reminding me of my sister, 10/10, need more Brianna content. Rosanna as well tbh I'm sure we can make it work somehow let's go.

If we are talking about Inkheart only - their dad is alright too

[thejazzywaffles]

Marc Laidlaw claims any story can be improved by making the second sentence “And then the murders began.” Let’s test that theory with random books I have lying around the apartment.

1. Magyk, by Angie Sage

“Silas Heap pulled his cloak tightly around him against the snow. And then the murders began.”

2. Daring Do and the Marked Thief of Marapore, by A.K. Yearling (with G.M. Berrow)

“The colossal silver Unicorn glanced back at his mud-smeared flank and cringed. And then the murders began.”

3. A Spell For Chameleon, the First Xanth Novel, by Piers Anthony

“A small lizard perched on a brown stone. And then the murders began.”

4. Paper Towns, by John Green

(not counting the prologue)

“The longest day of my life began tardily. And then the murders began.”

5. The Chronicles of Prydain - Book 1: The Book of Three, by Lloyd Alexander

“Taran wanted to make a sword; but Coll, charged with the practical side of his education, decided on horseshoes. And then the murders began.”

6. The Magician’s Nephew, by C.S. Lewis

“This is a story about something that happened long ago when your grandfather was a child. And then the murders began.”

(doesn’t work too well here)

7. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien

“There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Iluvatar; and he made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made. And then the murders began.”

8. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. And then the murders began.”

9. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien

 “When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. And then the murders began.”

10. The Tanakh/Holy Bible, by Multiple Authors

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And then the murders began.”

11. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, by J.K. Rowling

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. And then the murders began.”

12. Standard Hero Behavior, by John David Anderson

“On the corner of Oak and Smelter sits a box made of wood warped by sun and bowed by rain, and on a splintered post just in front of this shack sits a sign. And then the murders began.”

(Almost works?)

13. The Call of Cthulhu, by H.P. Lovecraft

“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all of its contents. And then the murders began.”

(Doesn’t work)

14. A Game of Thrones, by George R.R. Martin

“‘We should start back,’ Gared urged as the woods began to grow dark around them. And then the murders began.”

(this is hilarious because this is exactly what happens in AGoT)

15. Dealing with Dragons, by Patricia C. Wrede

“Linderwall was a huge kingdom, just east of the Mountains of Morning, where philosophers were highly respected and the number five was fashionable. And then the murders began.”

16. Inkheart, by Cornelia Funke

“Rain fell that night, a fine, whispering rain. And then the murders began.”

17. The Lightning Thief, by Rick Riordan

“Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood. And then the murders began.”

(this technique tends to not work on first-person books, I’m noticing)

18. The House of the Scorpion, by Nancy Farmer

“In the beginning there were thirty-six of them, thirty-six droplets of life so tiny that Eduardo could see them only under a microscope. And then the murders began.”

19. The Colour of Magic, by Sir Terry Pratchett (RIP buddy)

“In a distant and second-hand set of dimensions, in an astral plane that was never meant to fly, the curling star-mists waver and part... See... Great A’Tuin the turtle comes, swimming slowly through the interstellar gulf, hydrogen frost on its ponderous limbs, his huge and ancient shell pocked with meteor craters. And then the murders began.”

(doesn’t work well at all, but more people need to read Terry Pratchett’s books, they’re wonderful)

20. The Bad Beginning, by Lemony Snicket (with Daniel Handler)

“If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. And then the murders began.”

(doesn’t work here, noticing that it also doesn’t work if the narrator monologues before the story starts)

21. “Who Could That Be at This Hour?”, by Lemony Snicket (with Daniel Handler)

“There was a town, and there was a girl, and there was a theft. And then the murders began.”

22. Gulliver’s Travels, by Johnathan Swift

“My Father had a small Estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the Third of Five Sons. And then the murders began.”

23. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. And then the murders began.”

(doesn’t quite work, again due to narrator monologue)

CONCLUSION

It sort of works much of the time in third-person works that jump right into the story, but tends to not work on first-person books and books that start with a narrator’s monologue.

[haleyfury]

During the winter and holiday season, one of my favorite things to do is to cozy up with a cup of hot chocolate and a baking show. I love a lot of the baking shows on Food Network, especially their Baking Championship series (Holiday BC is my favorite). I’ve of course watched The Great British Bake Off on Netflix—I’ve noticed that British baking shows are a lot calmer than American ones—so when Rebecca of mylifeasasportsfangirl tagged me to do The Great British Bake Off Book Tag, I knew I was in for a treat!The Great British Bake Off Book Tag was created by Zaheerah of Zaheerah Khalik.

Amateur Baker: A book that is self-published

*raises hand in acknowledgement that they’ve been a bad bookworm in that they can’t come up with a self-published book that they’ve read*

The best answer I can come up with is Switched by Amanda Hocking, who previously self-published her work before signing with traditional publishing companies.

Soggy Bottom: A book that had a great start but disappointing ending

The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo. The ending just felt so rushed and like a quick way to end the book without having to explain the affect effect (vague but no spoilers here!).

#Bingate: A book that you grew frustrated with and had to DNF

Stalking Jack the Ripper by Kerri Maniscalco. I’m just going to refer to my Goodreads review thoughts:

Stalking Jack the Ripper has received A TON of hype in the book blogging community and there’s been much hype and anticipation over its sequel, Hunting Prince Dracula. Unfortunately, this book did not at all live up to the hype for me. I couldn’t stand Audrey Rose (for such an intelligent girl, her POV read way more younger than her age), I didn’t really find much interest in anyone besides Thomas– there is also a big cast of characters because of the murders and victims that I often lost track of who was who, Audrey’s father was completely stubborn and illogical (I don’t care that this is the late 1800s and women are supposed to listen to a man’s word, Audrey should’ve walked out of the house way before she actually did),and the story is just so slow moving.

It also tried to add diversity but it didn’t work so well- Audrey talks about how her mom is Indian once and how they used to eat Indian dishes when they were younger and maybe mentions once how her skin is sort’ve dark but that’s all we get?? Additionally, I agree with the feeling that Audrey felt like a girl transported from the 21st century to 1880s England. Audrey, wearing pants isn’t going to help you fight against the controlling men in your life.

The only components I did enjoy about the book was how it took place in the past (I’ve been reading a lot of books lately set during our time) and the circus chapters. As you can tell, this book was just not my cup of tea.

Junior Bakeoff: A children’s book

Utterly Me, Clarice Bean by Lauren Child. I was absolutely obsessed with Clarice Bean in middle school. I think I still have those books store away with my Junie B. Jones books.

A Hollywood Handshake: A book that impressed you

 Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee. This book just covers SO much—sexuality, friendship, romance, family, Youtube/online content creation, and more.

Signature Challenge: A book that you would recommend to your friends and family

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. I actually recently recommended this one to my friends who was interested in reading more books set during World War II.

Technical Challenge: Books that you picked up without knowing too much beforehand, ranking them from worst to best.

 Nemesis by Brendan Reich

 The Night Circus by Erin Morgensten

Last Christmas in Paris by Hazel Graynor and Heather Webb

A Short History of the Girl Next Door by Jared Reck 

Showstopper Challenge: A book/series that is your all-time favorite

One of my all-time favorite series is the Inkheart trilogy by Cornelia Funke. I really need to reread these series, as this was one of the first fantasy series I ever picked up in middle school. My copy of Inkheart might be a bit battered from carrying it back and forth to school.

The Finalists: A Favorite Trilogy

Legend by Marie Lu

An Extra Slice: A Favorite Companion Book

Just One More Night by Gayle Forman. This tag is making me remember some of my all-time favorite series, like Gayle Forman’s Just One Day series (and I’m also realzing how many books I need to reread). It’s important to note that Just One More Night takes place AFTER Just One Day and Just One Year. 

I tag:

Courtney from buried in a bookshelf 

Sara from The Book Cycle 

Dani from Perspective of a Writer

Do you like to watch baking shows? What about reading books about baking? Share in the comments!

The Great British Bake Off Book Tag During the winter and holiday season, one of my favorite things to do is to cozy up with a cup of hot chocolate and a baking show.