My husband's First time Watching Twilight
My dear husband has not seen many of the movies that were very informative of my tween and teen years; Twilight is one of the top ones. He not only agreed to watch it but agreed to let me write down his reactions. Here are the 3 PAGES of comments I recorded during the two hour movie.
Opening line: "I'd never given much thought to how I would die." - Well, Lucky you
I'm glad this deer is going to be totally unharmed
What ?! Hang on... He catches the dear mid jump like a trick dog.
Him: Why is (Stephany Myers) so obsessed with baseball?
Me: Shes Mormon
Him: I think it's the homoerotic subtext
ACAB even (Charly)
Alright... one bathroom? There's only two of you!
Billy (who is in a wheelchair) responds with how hes doing by saying "Still Dancing!" - I love him
Meets Eric - GAY BEST FRIEND *He was disappointed by him being straight*
*Pauses Movie* I had no idea her name was Isabella
Mike Existing - That's the most awkward person Ive ever seen
Jerk kisses her on the cheek without consent - That's assault
*Edward walks in* - OMG thats BATMAN *JKJKJK*
How ... Why ... Why is she laughing.
So he can see the future...
Nobody in this movie knows how to eat food.
Fuck you, Binder!
She is the awkward one Charly
Guy in Mill getting hunted - Hes agile I would have fallen over by then.
Bella slips and falls over - Relatable *he is unaware of the trope*
"Not in Phoenix Bells" Line referring to large animals hunting people in Forks - "YoU DoNt HaVe AnImAls iN ArIzOnA" What do you mean Charly!? They have Mountain Lions and SNAKES Charly! *I mention scorpions too*
No writer in this movie ever talked to a high schooler.
"Your name is Bella?" - Its actually Isabella as I have learned
I only care about this golden onion... and why it isn't a golden garlic.
"Cold wet thing" - Unlike sand which is hot and course
She also looks like shes in white face paint.
(Edward) just walks away like a fucking freak... I love it.
None of these people have ever talked to a human before.
*Car Crash* - So much is happening... why are there so many cuts...
The vampires all look like fucking mimes
Your asking him about the speed he got there and not the CRUMPLED DOOR?!
Dont worry (Bella) Im also confused about what happened
*Edward in the corner of her room* Hes like a fucking PTSD flashback.
Hes a fucking sleep paralysis demon
Its dumb to send (the vampires) to highschool.
I didn't know one of (Bellas) personality traits was Clumsy
There Bio teacher belongs in a sitcom
They act like they are fifty or twelve... not like teenagers... twelve is more accurate.
The most unrealistic part (of there field trip) is that the bus driver is not screaming at him for banging on the door... or maybe I grew up in Boston.
*Edward dose the apple thing* - Ok now he's just making fun of her
Robert Patterson and the guy playing Charly are the best actors.
Edward mentions wearing a mask, and Bella quips about it - OOOOO, She called Edward out for being autistic! *He can say that as I am autistic and I give him permission*
*Edward cant go to LaPush* - Is it cause he cant cross moving water? *He made so many jokes about vampire lore I didn't write them all down*
I was trying to tell what time this flashback took place and I just couldn't.
I'm glad they gave us a 30-second tutorial on how to get a book online.
Some of this look like a horror movie
TOKYO DRIFTING, Dam that was a fuckin j-turn!
"Little do (her friends know) he was going to eat her, for her blood"
Oh Bella, I understand he's a pretty boy, but back up from the "How do you know what he was thinking?" and back to the "WHY WERE YOU STALKING ME!?"
I can't wait for the almost SA scene to never come up again... *sarcasm*
* They touch hands by oops * - Touch Barrier Broken
Charly and Billy watch the game - DAD DATE!
... Oh no not Butcrack SANTA!
Looks at Jasper - Is he another vampire who fought for the Confederacy?
She sees buttcrack Santa's body - Do they not have body bags?
With how much he's stalking her he should be called Edward the Relentless *he loves what we do in the shadows*
Why are we spinning... why is there so much spinning?
Bella claims Edward talks old-fashioned - He talks like a badly written character... like everyone here.
"you won't hurt me" - cause stalkers never escalate violence when things don't work out.
Because she's a white woman, and he's her pit bull.
LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE SAYS HES DANGEROUS BELLA.
"personal brand of heroine" - Him: because everyone knows heroine comes in brands
Me: Im on name brand Meth (me referring to my ADHD MEDS)
Him: You're on generic Meth, and you know it. (as I take the generic brand)
YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE A WEEK
"Irevicoably in love with him" - GIRL... WHY?
Sees Emmit - He kinda looks like Peet Davidson
I like (Edwards) sitting like a little weirdo
He turned to madly in love on a dime.
Wait hang on.... (skips back to Billy giving Bella the stinkeye)
Eyyyy They do what we do! (Billy holding all the stuff while Jacob pushes, like we do with my wheelchair)
Just Sees Jasper - "Ive never seen more fear in a character than in his face right now
Is he scared she will know he fought for the Confederacy? (I have yet to confirm or deny the truth of this statement)
Alice being Alice - OOoO Edward, she's gonna steal your girl!
No wonder he's fallen in love in 3 seconds... he's been seventh wheel for who knows how long.
*there dancing in edwards room* - *husband starts singing my fair lady*
"Hang on Spider Monkey" - IT's THE LINE!!!
*I mention how it's creepy that he watches her sleep* Well, you watch me while I sleep, but you have insomnia... and were married.
*they kiss*- This is the most Mormon shit I've ever seen.
At least they show how realistically boaring being a vampire would be.
Drinking while cleaning your shotgun... that's totally safe Charly...
"Why do you play baseball?" - Since they are American Bella! - "Well it is the American past time" Esme says - SEE!
The Thrupple of trouble is walking in like there ready for a photoshoot.
Blond Thrupple guy (James) looks so High...
"...STuck here like MOM" - OOF! KNIFE TO THE HEART!
Did her friends just steal mugs from the diner?
Edward won't stop drinking her blood - Bop him on the nose with a newspaper like a dog.
Edward sad he "didn't" stop - But you did stop when Carlile bopped you on the head with a newspaper.
We kissed once now were in love forever....
They are all weirdos and this feels like a cult
Director of Photography, I hate you.
Costume? I can't forgive you for that flashback.
High school science teacher, you were my favorite.
His final review: This was a bad movie. There are better vampire movies, there's better romance movies and better young adult movies. All the genera are valed, this is just a bad example of all of those generas.
I understand why its popular tho, and why young woman loved it. Especially when you take in at the time, it came out.
Its the American mix of all about sex but completely clean and demonising sex and not having any sex in it. To me its the same way that 50 shades of gray wants to be about sexy bdsm while still saying bdsm is morally wrong.
Nothing wrong with wanting a sexy vampire with wanting a romance, I like romance. Theres nothing wrong with media for young women. This is just bad.
8 notes
·
View notes
"You're all strong.... willed... individuals" the professor says while continually looking over at me and making eye contact then looking away
that's one way to say i'm a stubborn asshole lol
0 notes
anyone: you ok?
me: rhaenyra considered it. in that moment as she stood in front of alicent and she stepped towards her and said "come with me" rhaenyra's memory flew back to the moment when all she wanted was to ride on dragonback, eat cake, and see the wonders with alicent at her side. but too much has happened. too much hurt, too much pain, too much deception, and the memory shattered and she remembered her duty. but for a moment, just a moment, she considered it.
anyone: what
369 notes
·
View notes