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ckret2 · 3 months ago

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Chapter 77 of human Bill Cipher being a prisoner with terrible fashion sense: beach episode!!! Well, lake episode. Close enough.

And a few other people come to town.

Just after dawn, a sleek, nondescript black government SUV, now dusty from a long drive, parked in front of the Gravity Falls Police Department. Three agents in sleek, nondescript black suits stepped out.

As they left the car, Blubs came out to meet them, Durland trailing behind him. "Agent Powers, Agent Trigger! Good to see you again." He shook Powers's hand, then glanced at the new agent. "And you are...?"

"Agent Dale!" The rookie shook Blubs's hand next, beaming. "Very pleased to meet you. I was just saying in the car—you have a beautiful town here, just beautiful."

"Wouldn't stop talking about it," Trigger muttered.

Blubs chuckled. "Why, thank you. We're quite proud of it ourselves."

Durland said, "Say, Agent Dale—don't you agents usually have tougher-sounding codenames?"

"Agent Clyde S. Dale. Like the horse."

"Ohhh. Yup, that'll do it."

"Sheriff Blubs," Powers said. "I trust you have the requested materials?"

"Right inside," Blubs said. "We've got the readings on last week's gravity anomaly from McGucket's scanners, and reports on this weekend's power surge."

"No overlap between the incidents?"

"None anyone here detected."

"Hmm. Has anything else strange happened since we were last in town?"

Blubs hesitated. "Well—never mind all that." He quickly shifted topics, "Say, I like your 'honk if you want to be arrested' bumper sticker." ("Oh is that what it says?" Durland asked.)

Agent Powers said solemnly, "I can get you the contact information of the shop where I bought it. It's a very nice small business run by art students."

"Would you? That'd be delightful."

Powers paused before following the cops and his agents into the police department, glancing out at Gravity Falls' town square—the modest little main street shops, the town hall, the statue of the town founder, the distinctive water tower with the faded muffin graffiti, and the familiar mountains surrounding the little valley town.

And then he let out a long, frustrated sigh.

"Fine," he muttered grumpily, glaring at the town as though it were an old rival as annoyed to see him as he was to see it. "Let's just get this over with."

He followed Blubs into the police department.

####

"Attention, everybody," Stan said, standing in the entryway with his fists on his hips, Soos beaming behind him. "I've got some great news!"

Abuelita and Bill glanced up from one of Abuelita's soap operas; Mabel and Dipper craned their necks to see Stan from where they were having dinner at the kitchen table.

Stan announced, "It's finally time!"

Dipper and Mabel blinked. Bill said, "Great. I'll get the ritual daggers, you can set up the blood red candles. Dolores?"

Abuelita said, "I will put out the good sacrifice altar." Bill laughed in delight.

"Yeah, yuck it up, you two," Stan said. "We're going fishing tomorrow! I've got the bait, I found everyone's rods, Soos and I patched up the old boat, I even—" He paused at the sound of the vending machine opening. "Hey! Ford!"

Ford ducked in from the gift shop. "What?"

Stan chucked a hat at him. "I made you a fishing buddy hat! See, it's got your name! That's pretty good!"

"Oh." Ford inspected the letters haphazardly stitched onto the hat. "Why?"

"Fishing tomorrow! Half the summer's gone by, and we haven't gone fishing once! The guys from the lodge probably think I'm too ashamed to show my face. But it rained this weekend, the weather's just cleared up, now's the perfect time for fishing!"

"Oh," Ford said again, trying to drag his thoughts from magical tapes to fishing. "If you'd let me know earlier, I'd have built another fish-summoning beacon like the one on our boat." (Bill glanced curiously at Ford at the mention of an invention he didn't already know about; then stubbornly refused to be interested and dragged his gaze back to the TV.)

"No beacons! This isn't fishing for survival, this is about the sport! Asserting our manhood! Just the skill, strength, and patience of three men—and some women and children—against the lake!" (Soos beamed at being included amongst the men.)

Ford considered that. He didn't assert his manhood very often; usually he just sort of let his manhood hang around minding its own business, like an old cat that wants to be in the same room as you without socializing. It sounded like an intriguingly novel experience. "Okay, great. What time?"

"I want everyone on the road tomorrow morning! By six thirty at the latest."

The kids groaned.

"C'mon, dudes," Soos said encouragingly. "It'll be fun! After about three hours, once you're awake enough to think."

"No griping, we've gotta be there early to get a prime fishing spot," Stan said. "Tomorrow's a lodge fishing day. We're going home with a haul so big they'll be embarrassed they kicked me out!"

Dipper asked, "You mean the lodge for the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel, right? Why'd they kick you out?"

Stan sighed, "Once the town found out about Ford, they realized I'd spent the last thirty years attending lodge meetings under his membership. Since I'd never undergone the—" He rolled his eyes and made finger quotes, "'sacred angler initiation rites,' they booted me. And they said I can't try to join again, just because of that one dumb little white lie! And my extensive criminal record."

Ford hurriedly crossed the living room to avoid blocking Abuelita's TV view. (Bill looked through him like he wasn't there.) "Stan got a lot more out of my membership than I did—once I'd finished my initiation I probably only ever attended three meetings. I tried to petition the Mackerels to let him rejoin."

"How'd they respond?" Mabel asked.

"They kicked me out too."

Bill scoffed. "Big deal! The Fishmasons and all their subordinate organizations are just a big boring social club that got you hotel discounts three hundred years ago. The mystique around them is more interesting than anything they actually do."

"Figuring that out is why I stopped attending after three meetings," Ford said. "I joined to learn about the dark secret underbelly of Western politics—not sit around eating charcuterie and fancy nuts while everyone talks about baseball and makes fun of me for not knowing what a fly ball is. It's a stupid term! Doesn't the ball always fly?"

"Really, they aren't even worth joining," said Bill Cipher, the only person to have ever been kicked out of seventeen separate Masonic lodges in seventeen separate bodies.

Reminded of the fancy nuts he was missing out on at this very second, Stan set his jaw in determination. "Yeah, well, they're a big boring social club that'll rue the day they kicked out Stan Pines! Out the door, six thirty, on the dot!"

"I don't have an alarm," Bill said. "Hey star girl, wake me at five."

Mabel shuddered at the thought of setting an alarm that early. "No way. You can borrow my radio."

"Hold on, I didn't say you're invited," Stan said. "We've already got a full boat! Me, my brother, the kids, and Soos and his girl. Nobody wants to sit on the lake with you for eight hours."

"I wanna sit on the lake with Bill!"

"Nobody but Mabel wants that."

"Relax! I don't want to sit on a boat with you underpainted clowns either," Bill said. "I just want to sit on the beach! I miss sunlight! Sunlight without being forced to hike through half the valley on no food or sleep."

(Ford decided that was his cue to make himself scarce. He scooted into the guest room.)

"Well," Stan said, "we're not staying thirty feet from the shore, we're not leaving anybody behind, and we don't trust you to stay put on the beach without your dumb magic bracelet—so how do you expect that to work."

"I'll just stay with Dolores."

Stan and Soos stared at Abuelita. Soos said, "Abuelita? Do you want to come?"

Abuelita considered it. "Sure. The weather is nice. I can catch up on my reading."

"Yes!" Bill hopped off the couch. "Then it's a plan!"

"Hey, hold on," Stan said as Bill breezed past him, "I didn't agree to—"

"Hey star girl!" Bill leaned into the kitchen. "Need your fashion services! I need a swimsuit before tomorrow."

Mabel gasped in delight. "What kind?"

"Whatever exposes the most skin without getting me arrested. I'm absorbing as much sunlight as possible."

"With sunscreen, right?" Soos said.

Bill turned and gave him a blank-faced stare.

Soos hopefully repeated, "With sunscreen?"

"Don't need it."

"You totally do, dude. Not many people talk about this? But having more melanin doesn't totally protect you from sun damage, it just slows it down," Soos said. "Trust me on this. When I was like eight, I went to this water park—

"Uh-huh, and three days later you were peeling off flakes of your own dead flesh," Bill said. "It's cute how you think you know more about humans from 23 years of passively being one than I do from 500,000 years of actively studying them."

"Oh."

"C'mon, star girl! No time to waste!" Bill grabbed Mabel's hand and tugged her off her chair.

"Wait, my sandwich—!" Mabel grabbed the rest of her dinner off her plate and shoved it in her mouth as Bill dragged her upstairs.

Abuelita shot him a dirty look as he passed, but turned back to her soap opera.

####

Just past five in the morning, Bill crept by the guest room door. He glanced through the wall as he passed; good, both of the Stans were in bed and sound asleep. Bill wouldn't have had a chance to get up to his mischief if Ford had decided to sleep downstairs.

He snuck behind the vending machine; paused to squint toward the future and confirm that when he looked at the stairs, he could only see himself using them anytime soon; then down to the elevator; and down, down to Ford's study.

Bill sighed in relief when the elevator slid open and he saw that Ford had left his study door ajar. He crept into the room, feet socked, hands gloved—Ford was the kind of paranoid to actually check for prints if he suspected anything, and Bill's triangular whorls were very distinctive—and looked through the objects piled on the shelves and furniture for any concealed sensors or cameras. The coast was clear.

He idly scanned the nearby shelves for any sign of his stolen time tape, didn't find it, but didn't expect to. That wasn't what he was here for.

He knelt in front of a half-disassembled filing cabinet, flipped through the files in the removed bottom drawer until he found several folders together about curses and hexes, and flipped through them until he found the one labeled "Curses & Hexes (w/ ingredients)". Good old Sixer, left everything exactly where Bill remembered it.

He rifled through the pages—"aha!"—until he found the paper he was looking for and pulled it out. Handwritten at the top of a ragged-edged piece of notebook paper were the words "Reverse Sunscreen". Bill read through the list of ingredients—"Oh, pepper juice, not pepper flakes, right."—then put the paper back.

He glanced back and forth between the past and present to ensure he put the files back exactly where he'd found them—again, considering Ford's paranoia, he might notice any difference.

And then he returned to the elevator and headed upstairs.

The whole time he was in the study, Bill didn't let himself glance at the back of the room where Ford's shrine to him used to be.

####

"Heya, pal," Bill said. "It's been a while! Where have you been hiding all summer?"

Gompers blinked up at Bill.

"I guess we both look different than we did the last time we met, huh? I think your makeover went better than mine, though! You didn't fall as far as I did." He didn't have as far to fall.

Gompers accepted the backhanded compliment with utter indifference.

"But hey, why talk about the past! Let's let bygones be bygones. Here." Bill knelt, pulled one of Ford's nutrition pills from the folds of his beach towel, and held it out. "A peace offering! A little snack for you."

Gompers eyed it warily.

"Come on, you've eaten worse things than this."

He delicately ate the pill out of Bill's hand.

"Thaaat's right. Tell me how you like that thing later."

Leaning on his car, Stan—the only other person who'd actually been ready to go at 6:30—looked over Bill's shirt and trout slippers, and asked warily, "You didn't forget that humans need to wear pants, right?"

Bill got to his feet, shoved his makeshift umbrella-cane under the same arm as his beach towel, and pulled up the hem of the puma shirt he'd stolen from the gift shop to reveal his bikini bottom. It was teal with little puffy gold triangles painted on. "Cover-up dress. Your arbitrary fashion rules are different for beaches."

Stan considered whether a t-shirt counted as a dress, decided he didn't know enough about dresses and he might as well give this one to Bill, and grunted. "Fine, you're legal."

"Am I free to go, officer?"

"Never compare me to a cop again."

"Stop acting like one!" Bill trotted off to his ride to wait for the other humans to assemble.

There wasn't room for all eight beachgoers in one vehicle; the Pines piled together in Stan's car, while the Ramirezes (including Melody—honorary future Ramirez—and Bill—magic braceleted to Abuelita) took Soos's truck. So that Abuelita didn't have to squeeze past the front seats into the back, Bill and Melody were assigned the back bench; when Bill greeted Melody and she only responded with a vague mumble and an averted gaze, he scooted closer to the middle of the bench, spread his knees to take up more space, and smugly pretended not to notice how Melody squeezed herself against the door.

By the time the Ramirez vehicle parked at the beach, the Pines family was already out of their car: Stan was glaring up the beach with his fists on his hips, the kids were unsuccessfully searching Mabel's supply bag for Dipper's sunscreen, and Ford was lingering back at the car, pretending to check the contents of their tackle box but actually trying to shake the sudden memory of weightlessness and water in his throat. As Bill passed, Ford muttered, "I'm surprised you wanted to get this close to the lake so soon. Considering." It had been less than a week since their joint near death experience.

"Why not? Nearly drowning was the most fun part of that hike." (Ford wondered whether that was a red flag, an underhanded comment about how unfun the rest of the hike had been, or just Bill being Bill; and, for his own peace of mind, decided it was probably the third thing.) "Looks like you got something fun out of the trip, too." Bill snapped the shoulder strap of Ford's waders.

Ford shoved Bill's hand away. "As long as I have them, I might as well use them."

When everyone caught up with Stan, he was scowling at four men, ages ranging from 50 to 80, wearing fishing vests and hats with the Holy Mackerel's distinctive stylized fish symbol. "Eugene," Stan muttered. "Eugene and his goons wanted to kick me out of the lodge for years. Just because I have a grating personality and am generally unpleasant to be around! And tried to get the lodge to pick a local affordable housing fund as our charity for fundraising one year!"

Ford gave Stan a surprised look. "You never mentioned you worked with an affordable housing charity."

"Yeah. The Compassionate Angel's Fund For Gravity Falls Tourism Business Owners Who Are Behind On Their Mortgage Payments."

Ford snorted.

Bill said, "I think you should've gotten away with it just for being funny."

"Don't even look at them," Stan instructed the group. "These jerks aren't worth it." The collected group studiously avoided looking at the Mackerels, except Bill and Abuelita, who didn't care.

As they walked up the beach toward the pier and veered around the Mackerels, Stan suddenly stopped, turned straight toward them, and said loudly, "Why, Eugene! What a coincidence! I almost didn't notice you!"

A tall, elderly man with a fishing rod over one shoulder and a black wooden cane in his other hand glanced over at the Pines/Ramirez party. "Oh," he said, with a voice like he'd found a fly stuck in gum on his cane. "Hello, Stan-ley. We haven't seen you out on the lake this summer."

Stan laughed loudly, as if Eugene had told a hilarious joke. "Oh, that! I was just waiting for perfect fishing weather! I'm not about to waste my time out on the lake on a bad fishing day!" He gestured behind himself, "Besides, I had to wait until my whole family was free to come along."

(Soos elbowed Melody and whispered excitedly, "He called us his family!")

Stan clapped his hands proudly on Dipper and Mabel's shoulders—who looked like they hoped the sandy beach would swallow them whole—and said, "I don't see your family, Eugene, where are they?"

"Dead." With mournful dignity, Eugene said, "I outlived my wife and all three of my children. Remember? You ate potato chips during my daughter's funeral."

Stan opened his mouth, shut it, and said, "Was that the really boring one that went like an hour?"

Ford, who didn't always have the best social instincts but could tell when Stan had screwed up, started shooing the rest of the family away from the scene, elbowed Stan, and said, "Let's get to the boat. You wanted to get a prime fishing spot, right?"

Eugene looked at Ford. "Ah. You must be the real Stanford Pines?" he said. "So I'm assuming, anyway. Apparently it's hard to tell you two apart."

Stan scowled; but before he could retort, Bill pushed past him to butt into the conversation. "Is it ever! Listen, take it from someone who's made this mistake—you've got to count the fingers on these two, every time."

Eugene huffed sardonically. "So it seems." (Ford self-consciously hid his hands in his pockets and shot Bill a dark look as he shuffled off with the rest of the family.)

"Say, while I've got your attention—name's Goldie, by the way—I couldn't help but admire your cane!" He tapped the tip of his umbrella against Eugene's cane. "I'm in the market for an upgrade from this substitute I've been using! That's no blackwood, right? That looks like true ebony."

"Good eye," Eugene said, surprised. "Yes, genuine Gaboon ebony."

"Must've dropped a lot of gold on this thing," Bill said appreciatively. "You've gotta tell me where you got it."

"I'm afraid I don't remember off the top of my head..."

"That's fine! Look it up—" (he twisted around to speak over his shoulder as Stan grabbed his arm and dragged him away) "—I'm sure we'll meet again!"

About fifteen feet away, Stan growled, "What was that?"

"Networking. I've got plans for that guy," Bill said. "Hey, did you hear him? Gaboon ebony?" He laughed condescendingly. "Easiest way to make a guy look like a moron, start talking about 'true' ebonies. Didja know the word 'ebony' comes from Egyptian? And when they talked about 𓍁𓈖𓏭𓆱, they were talking about African blackwood. Wood so hard it sinks and you have to tool it like a metal! Gaboon ebony is a flimsy usurper!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"But you don't pretend you do, and that's what makes you better than that guy." Bill tugged Stan down by the shoulder. "Listen, Fisherman. I can't tell you where the fish are biting but I can tell you where they're swimming. It'll give you an advantage, but you'll need to do the rest."

Stan squinted mistrustfully at Bill. "What's the catch."

"The catch is you have to accept my help. Do you want it or not?"

"And why are you offering?"

"Because I think these lodge guys are a bunch of snobs. And they should've chosen your charity. It was funny."

That, plus Stan had been the most reluctant to let Bill live; Bill had to convince him he'd made the right choice.

Bill gave Stan directions to a bunch of fish he could see underwater by the Island Head Beast's right earhole; and then, his good deed for the day done, he headed off to claim a spot on the beach.

Ford had gone into Tate & Backle's to properly purchase the clothing they'd borrowed after the eclipse, and Soos was helping set Abuelita up with a low beach chair and a large umbrella. Bill smoothed out a patch of sand about ten feet from Abuelita so he could lay out his beach towel and dump his supplies for the day beside it. While Mabel and Melody got the boat ready, Dipper wandered around looking for sunscreen to borrow. He saw Bill's tube, snatched it without asking, and generously coated his arms, legs, and face. Bill fought back a grin and pretended not to notice.

He tossed aside his t-shirt and fish slippers, settled down on the towel in his bikini, carefully squeezed several horizontal lines of reverse sunscreen across the front of his abdomen and thighs, and drew a few vertical lines in between to break them up.

Ford trudged over from the bait shop to tell Bill, "I thought you'd like to know those ridiculous fish slippers were thirty dollars."

Bill laughed. "Whoa! Seems like a lot of money for some cheap novelty shoes! It's too bad you decided to trap me in a position where I'm too destitute and powerless to make my own purchases, isn't it?"

"All right, all right." Ford's gaze caught on the bruise-blue line discoloring the skin from Bill's left shoulder to his right hip—had he gotten injured during one of his hikes the past week? Or had that always been there? Ford didn't think he'd ever seen Bill's body shirtless, maybe it had always been here—but then he noticed Bill's lines of sunscreen and barked a laugh. "I suppose you're not planning to rub that in."

"Brilliant observation." Bill began smoothing down the lines with a finger, maintaining the pattern he'd drawn.

"You wanted to come out here to suntan? I'm sure you're already aware of the cancer risks from tanning."

"If I'm in this body long enough to get cancer, I'll welcome it." Bill lay down, laced his hands behind his head, and gave Ford an obnoxious smile. "Anyway, basal cell carcinomas are delicious. There's something kinda romantic about them, you know?"

Ford ruminated on that with thoughtful bafflement, shushed the voice in his head trying to point out that Bill was waving ever more red flags, and concluded that perhaps humans weren't meant to comprehend the romanticism of skin cancer. "Fine."

"What's everyone standing around for?" Stan asked, trudging up to Soos and Ford. "C'mon, we're burning daylight! Let's..." He trailed off, staring at Bill.

His bikini top consisted of two triangular red cups. Each cup had an enormous staring eye.

"See something ya like?" Bill asked dryly.

Stan quickly looked away. "Ugh. That's indecent."

"What is?"

"That—design!"

"What's indecent about eyeballs?"

"It looks like...!" He gestured vaguely but emphatically.

"What? What does it look like? Tell me what it looks like, Stanley."

"Never mind!" He turned away with a huff and muttered to Ford, "Can you believe him?"

"I honestly didn't notice anything until you pointed it out." Ford waved back at Bill dismissively as he followed Stan toward the boat. "Enjoy your sunburn."

"I will! I haven't had a good sunburn in centuries! That's one of the best features of earthling bodies!" Bill got comfortable and shut his eyes.

Soos finished getting Abuelita settled, headed toward the boat—but hesitated as he passed by Bill. Bill opened an eye a crack to glower up at him. "What?"

Soos mumbled, "You could've just told me you wanted to get sunburned. I mean—yesterday."

"But you didn't ask if I wanted a sunburn," Bill snapped. "You just assumed I didn't know how they work. And that's the point: you assumed I was stupid instead of considering that maybe you didn't know my plan."

"Oh. Uh... sorry." Soos rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to make you feel stupid."

Bill's irritation flared higher. He sat up. "I didn't say you made me feel stupid," he hissed, voice low, talking fast. "There's nothing that you could do to make me feel stupid. But that doesn't mean you aren't treating me like I'm stupid, does it?"

"Whoa—!" Soos raised his hands defensively. "Chill, dawg. I didn't mean—"

"What's the phrase, do ut des? 'Do unto others'? Your species's phrase. Don't treat me like I'm stupider than you and I won't have to return the favor—sound like a fair deal, Question Mark?" Bill stared up at him challengingly, brows raised.

"But th— I w— You..." Soos's protests that he'd been doing nothing but trying to do-unto-others Bill got jumbled all around under the force of Bill's spotlight glare. His shoulders slumped. "Sure," he mumbled. "Sorry."

"Good." Bill lay back down. "Get out of my sun."

Soos trudged away; and Bill took a deep breath, tried to get in a meditative mindset where he could shut off his mind, and focused on the feeling of sunshine on his body.

He'd just about managed to drop into a proper trance when Abuelita called sweetly, "Bill? Would you grab a bottle of water for me?"

His face twitched toward a frown as he was dragged back to full consciousness. Hadn't Soos left them close enough for her? Some grandson.

"Bill?"

He tried to think of an excuse to stay where he was; then growled in irritation and sat up. "Okay, okay." He couldn't afford to offend the chef with access to the poisons.

The bag with the water bottles was right behind Abuelita's elbow; but maybe her joints were stiff. Bill knelt to unzip the bag. "Another bodice ripper?" he asked, glancing at her book.

"A powerful sorceress queen has been captured by her enemies. She just learned they are led by her former apprentice."

"I can sympathize with that." Bill dragged the bag up next to Abuelita's knee so he wouldn't need to grab another bottle for her later. "Who's the love interest—guileless guard? Heroic rescuer?"

"The apprentice."

"Sympathy's gone." Bill glanced toward the boat to see what the rest of the household was up to.

They'd already reached the spot Bill had indicated and started fishing. Soos was excitedly reeling in his line; the boat listed to one side as everyone crowded around him to see what he'd brought up. Stan dipped a net in the water to scoop up his catch.

It was a boot.

Everyone's faces fell in disappointment.

Except for Ford's, who gleefully snatched up the boot he'd kicked off during the eclipse when he fell in the lake. He dumped the water out of his boot, switched places with Soos, and began fishing the same spot.

Abuelita said, "My grandson has been very nice to you."

Bill looked at her warily.

"Hasn't he?" She had a polite smile and daggers in her eyes.

He had the oddest feeling that this was going somewhere dangerous. "Yeah yeah yeah, sure he has," Bill said. "Nothing but nice. I think I'll take a little stroll, stretch these legs! See ya!" He stood to escape.

He only got a step away before the enchanted bracelet pulled tight around his wrist. He turned around to stare in amazement.

Abuelita had wrapped the slack of the bracelet thread around her hand.

Bill had made a severe miscalculation.

"So," Abuelita said. "Why are you being mean to my grandson." It was a trap all along. She'd agreed to be handcuffed to him so she could corner him for an interrogation.

"Whaaat," Bill said. "Me? No way! I'd never!"

Abuelita stared at him patiently.

"I don't even talk to him," Bill said, trying to think of a conversational escape route.

She raised a brow.

Got it. "He's just too nice, you see! I don't know how to talk to a guy that nice," he lied. "Makes things awkward!" How could any grandmother complain about her grandson being called too nice? "Yeah—not Jesús's fault at all. I don't hold it against him."

"Ah," Abuelita said, "you aren't used to people being nice to you?"

Sure, they could go with that, try to get him some pity. "Yeah! You know how it is. King of Nightmares, scourge of the multiverse—I'm not a popular guy."

"But you have friends, don't you? The scary ones you brought with you to town last year? Are they not nice to you?"

Bill hesitated, trying to figure out his story now. "Sure—they're nice to me. They're my friends! They love me! They'd do anything I say!"

"Oh. So, you're only comfortable with people being nice to you when you can control them." Abuelita smiled sweetly.

Swift, efficient, and brutal. Bill gaped at her.

"I'm glad you have nothing against Soos," she said. "And that you won't be rude to him."

Bill snapped his mouth shut. "Of course not." He gave Abuelita a tight smile. Played like a fiddle. Even though he'd been lying, she still managed to make him look like a loser. How embarrassing. "If you don't mind, I've got a sunburn to get back to."

"I'm not stopping you." She let the extra thread on the bracelet cuffs unwind from her hand and drop to the sand.

Bill trudged back to his towel, snapping as he went, "I hope this is one of those books you hate where the couple only gets hitched because they've got a baby coming."

"The sorceress has magical birth control."

"Course she does."

Bill flopped onto his towel again and stared at the sky. Ouch.

####

(I've been promising Agent Powers AND a beach episode for ages, and we finally get to them both at the same time. Let me know what y'all think so for!)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher #(Dec 12 edit: chapter has been renumbered)

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enwoso · 5 months ago

Note

request for reader struggling/acting out because of their adhd or like teen!reader always in trouble with older members of the team for something because of going along with KCCs antics and pranks

HYPER — arsenal women x reader

this has been a long time coming! but it’s finally here!! BUT i do wanna say thank you for 600 followers. i appreciate each and every single one of you that reads and interacts with my blog — forehead kisses to you all<33

masterlist

being the youngest on the team had it's benefits like you were basically everyone's honorary little sister and you always had your teammates looking out for you. however with every benefit came with a bad thing like you always had your teammates looking out for you and watching your every move.

this meant that sometimes your fun got cut short by one of the older members and the lecture would begin. it was like being back at school again and being told off for flicking a pen at someone.

it's not like you liked being in trouble it just seamed to follow you for some reason.

"are we gonna have a good session today, y/n?" kim asked her eye brows rising slightly as you both walked out to training side by side, you smiling innocently, "i always have a good session kimmy!"

you giggled rushing off, kim sighing saying her prays for the day in her head that everything would run soomthly today. although that innocent- or non so innocent smile you just flashed the captain told her everything she needed.

you running ahead to find your right hand, in the name of kyra cooney-cross. or as the rest of the squad would call her your partner in crime.

"hey kyra!" you yelled jumping onto her back, your arms wrapping tightly around her neck as the australian's knees seemed to buckle and within seconds you were both on the ground kicking at each other as you rolled along the grass in fits of giggles.

"y/n get.. off of me!" kyra got out in between laughs as you defended yourself back, "no krya you get off me!"

"girls! get up off the floor now!" the stern voice of leah williamson yelled over your giggles as her shadow covered you both. quickly breaking up knowing not to really push your luck with the blonde, although sometimes you liked to just to see how far you could push until the frown on her face became permanent.

you both mumbling a quick sorry before being called over by the coaches so that the outdoor session could actually begin. the frown on leah’s face staying in place.

the outdoor session went over quicker than you thought it would, the slight drizzle of rain making an appearance towards the end meaning your kit was slightly sticking to you but nevertheless it was lunch time, you and kyra were walking at the back of everyone else discussing you next plan of action.

“today’s been well boring! wanna cause some havoc?” you questioned a smile on your face as kyra almost immediately nodded, you never needed to ask kyra twice.

“who’s the victim?” kyra asked as you hummed, trying to rack your brain on whose buttons in a while. “oh i wouldn’t say victim, let’s just say we’re checking their alert!” you grinned.

“um well we can’t get katie cause she’ll probably hang me upside down on the ceiling, we got vic last week with the fake apple” you listed off, krya saying names quietly to you.

“steph will definitely rat us out to leah and lessi is still annoyed at us for the hot sauce so- oh i know” you were still listing off names before having a light blub moment light up in your head, a loud gasp coming from you as kyra looked on at you in confusion.

“who?”

“beth, of course!”

"right whose hid my shoe!" beth complained as she huffed, her other shoe hanging limp by her side in her hand.

the room filling with 'i don't knows' and shrugs as majority went back to getting a drink before getting ready to head into the gym for the afternoon session. beth looking around the room for her shoe, peering at kyra's side.

"kyra, where's y/n put my shoe? i won't tell kim if you just tell me where it is" beth raised an eyebrow trying to try the bribe game, the older girl knowing you both never liked to have a lecture from either kim or leah.

cause in your eyes, your weren't causing trouble. you were just giving people a little bit of entertainment.

kyra gave a small smile to beth before shrugging, beth trying again to pry and answer from the young australian but getting no where.

beth huffing loudly, as she moved closer to you. "y/n where is my shoe?" she spoke with sweet tone as you finished zipping up your bag turning to the blonde.

"bethany your shoe is in your hand?" you pointed to the trainer as beth rolled her eyes blowing a sharp breathe of air out of her mouth pinching her nose.

"y/n i know one of my shoes in my hand, but i don’t have only one foot, and i know you know where the other one is!"

"nah i don't sorry" you shrugged your shoulders turning back to what you were doing hearing beth scoff, "i'll be telling leah!" she mumbled under her breath, it was just a empty threat. beth wouldn't snitch, right.

you put your own trainers on as beth still wondered the room looking for her shoe as you made you way to the gym for your session.

your gym session went over quite quickly and thankfully it was home time, you limbs were aching and you couldn't wait to just lie in your own bed. however, during the session you couldn't help but notice the stern look leah had been sending your way the entire time.

and even though leah would usually always have a stern look on her face this one you'd seen more times than you'd like to admit.

it was never a good sign.

"your in trouble kid!" steph whispered as she walked past you, patting you on the shoulder before walking in front of you.

"what, why! i haven't done anything!" you huffed a frown appearing on your face as steph turned around and shrugged before walking ahead to catch up with lia. you had done something but that was harmless, and it was the only thing you’d done today!

you decided that the best way to stay out of trouble was to avoid leah like the plague. that way if you didn’t get the lecture from the older blonde then really it never happened! at least that’s how your brain worked, call it a form of girl math!

however, you hadn’t been lucky in escaping the blonde as she cornered you in the locker room meaning there was no way out you were going to have to listen to her lecture.

huffing you sat back down on the bench, leah sitting down beside you. now not blocking off the entrance, and you’d be lying if you hadn’t thought about making a run for it but that would have made it ten times worse for yourself so you stayed rooted to the bench in the changing room.

“y/n you know i hate having this conversation with you, both me and kim get bored having to tell you the same thing-“ leah began as you played the string of your bag, leah looking at you with softened eyes.

“don’t get me wrong i want you to have fun, and enjoy training but you need to learn the limit” leah carried on as you nodded, okay maybe sometimes you would take it a little far but harmless jokes were fine, surely!

“cause do you still wanna make the senior squad for the euros?” leah asked as your head perked up, that was the goal. you had your eyes on the prize and you were willing to do anything to make sure you could be there. wanting to create history with the lionesses like they did at the last world cup and euros.

“yeah, i wanna be there”

leah nodded, “well you’re going to have to start and be a bit more mature y/n because not only what your like on the pitch but sarina takes into account of what a players like off the pitch”

you understood that but sometimes you could help it, it was as if sometimes when trouble happened it wasn’t you. it was someone else — it may sound silly to the average person. but you weren’t always the silly childish person.

“cause the senior team won’t stand for that, does that make sense” leah finished as you nodded, a sad smile on your face.

“heard you loud and clear!” you looked up letting go of the string of your bag as leah sighed a breath of relief.

“good now let’s get you home and we’ll have a better day tomorrow?” leah asked as she stood up first, picking up her bag as you nodded following the same actions as leah swung her arm around your shoulder as you both walked out of the training facility.

“your life would be so boring with out me!” you giggled as leah pressed the unlock button on her car keys, you already having put your training bag in the boot before getting into the passenger seat.

“maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing eh?” leah mutter as a small gasp came from you, “hey, i’m not that bad”

“whatever helps you sleep at night kiddo!”

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bambisribbon · 5 months ago

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✧˖°. ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა ✧˖°. 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑏𝑜𝑦 ✧˖°. ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა ✧˖°.

sweetheart!reader and rafe being all cute and sappy

warnings: none, just fluff.

a/n: this is my first ever blub (ig that's what you'd call this..?" and i don't fully know how to work tumblr yet, so bare with me yall.

you woke up, the sun glaring through your windows. you look down and see rafe, tangled in your light pink bedsheets with the sun on his face. you grab your phone and start taking pictures of him. "𝚑𝑜𝑤 𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑒!" you thought, snapping pictures like somebody's mother. rafe's eyes slowly opened. and he looks at you. "why're you takin' pictures of me?" he mumbles, rubbing his eyes. "you just looked so cute, i had to!" you say, smiling. "oh really? that's what this is about? you think i look all cute 'n shit?" he says, sitting up. "precisely." you say, standing up. "you're the prettiest princess i've laid eyes on, rafe!" you say. "i am not a princess, alright. get that straight." he says, sauntering over to you and placing his hands on your hips. you nod, and start giggling. the two of you get ready for the day and go out to the beach, and to dinner. "rafe, can we watch tangled? it's my favorite movie." you say, after changing into a pair of your bed time shorts, and rafe's hoodie. he hesitantly sighs, and says, "fine." "yay! thank you!" you say, planting a big kiss on his lips. midway through the movie, rafe lays his head on your chest and drifts to sleep. you pull your phone out and snap a few pictures. you are getting ready to post them on your instagram story, with the caption "my beautiful, beautiful boy. i love you, rafey." you put the song Beautiful Boy, by John Lennon on in your story. you turn off the movie and whisper to rafe before going to sleep yourslef, "goodnight, my beautiful boy." you kiss his forehead, then go to sleep.

a/n ARGHHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE TO ME AND IDK WHY!! the idea to create this came from the movie beautiful boy, and i knew that i wanted to make something with the song (it's been on my mind since i saw the movie.) sweetheart!reader is like on of my favs, it's so adorable!

#drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #obx fanfiction #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron drabble #outer banks #rafe cameron prompt #obx rafe cameron #rafe obx #fluff #x rea

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quillandink22 · 8 months ago

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Rick Warden's (Harry Welsh) interview with Ross Owen: Funny moments/anecdotes.

Boot camp:

"Honestly, I tried to escape. If Jimmy Madio (Frank Perconte, who was on guard duty) didn't stop me, I would have been out of there."

Jimmy Madio caught him "blubbing" (crying) by day 5.

He carried Dextor Fletcher (Johnny Martin) around one of the runs.

Neal McDonough (Buck Compton) was fasted. "Lived up the front" on runs.

He was forced to do push ups when he spoke in his British accent. When asked to do his Harry Welsh impression "LUZ" first word that comes to his head.

Got his platoon lost on their first night attack: solution: they all lay down and fell asleep till it started raining.

"I'm losing my mind. Where are we?" Conversation with Ross McCall (liebgott) day 8.

Was so in character that his long term girlfriend broke up with him after boot camp. "She found me after boot camp on my fists in the kitchen doing push ups at 3am" "I think at that stage she thought you know what this is out of control"

Honestly the effects of Dale Dye's boot camp need to be studied.

Richard Speight (Skip) , Rick Gomez (Luz), and Jimmy madio were the "class clowns."

Matthew Settle (Speirs) played music from the 40's in the barracks to get them all in character.

Neal McDonough took a gun to the head. Shane Taylor (Eugene Roe) attempted to stitch him up before declaring, "I'm not a doctor."

Close friends on set:

Knew Damian Lewis prior to bob. Specified that he didn't meet him in a Bangkok whore house.

Shared a girlfriend with Damian Lewis. "Not at the same time." (Honestly was questioning at this point how close these two were.)

Closest with: Neil McDonough, Rick Gomez, Jimmy Madio, Richard Speight, Scott Grimes (Malarkey), and Michael Cudlitz (Bull).

Filming:

Marched his platoon down to the set every morning.

He was apparently criticised for his portrayal of Harry's injury in bastogne. He justified "screaming his head off" instead of playing it stoic due to the fact he though Harry would be thinking about Kitty. (Personally I think he did a great job)

Shane Taylor covered his body on the jeep journey to the aid station even though it wasn't in the script.

The full interview is on YouTube: just look up Band of Brothers Ross Owen. He interviewed loads of the cast.

#band of brothers #harry welsh #bofb #hbo war #eugene roe #frank perconte

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theta-walti · 2 months ago

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Dreams Under The Sun

Summary: Olga teaches an afternoon class, there she meets Daisy and you.

Warnings: none :)

A/N: This is one that l have kept in my drafts for ages now, but here we go! This is also a request by someone l used to like, l hope you had fun reading this 🫶 request if yall want a part 2!

Word count: 1k, short blub :)

The sun was just beginning set, sending out a golden glow over Madrid. Olga sat on a chair near the dining table as she laced up her boots. Today was a special day – not because it's a match, but because of a promise she had made.

Olga walked out of her apartment and headed quickly toward a small local football pitch. She was almost late so she had to hurry. It was a Saturday, and she had agreed to host a training session for a group of young girls from all around the neighbourhood. When she arrived, the girls were waiting for her, their faces lighting up as she approached.

“Good morning, everyone!”

She greeted, her smile bright and kind. The girls, ages from six to twelve, gathered around, their excitement increased as more time passed.

“Are you ready to play?”

Olga asked, kneeling to be at eye level with them. They all nodded enthusiastically.

For the next hour, Olga led them through simple drills, sharing tips and tricks she had learned over the years. She showed them how to control the ball, how to defend, and most importantly, how to believe in themselves.

“Remember, it’s not just about skill,”

She said, pausing the practice for a moment.

“It’s about your hearts. Never give up, no matter what.”

One of the girls, Daisy, who was particularly shy, but she seemed to do better under Olga’s teaching. Olga noticed her potential, so she spent a little bit of extra time encouraging her, showing her how to dribble past defenders with confidence.

After the session, Olga sat with the girls, sharing stories from her own career. She told them about the challenges she faced, the hard work it took to reach the top, and the joy of scoring the winning goal in the World Cup final.

“Dream big,”

As she told them, there was a lot of awes and wows. The girls did look up on Olga, a lot too in that fact.

“You can achieve anything if you believe in yourself and work hard.”

As the session officially ended and the parents slowly went to pick up their kids, Daisy stayed behind. She walked towards Olga, wearing her Real Madrid backpack and holding out a small notebook and pen.

“Could you sign this for me please?”

She asked as her eyes shined, she was talking to her hero. Daisy had looked up on Olga ever since she was able to walk, meeting her today was an absolute dream come true.

Olga had nodded with a smile, taking the notebook. She signed on the page that has her name on it and chuckled.

“Your planning to collect a lit of signatures huh?"

Daisy just giggled, and Olga smiled as she gave the notebook back to the little girl, Daisy smiled as she went and sat next to Olga.

"Keep practicing, and one day, you’ll be a star too."

"Mama always says that whatever you do, don't give up, always try your best, even though it gets hard sometimes"

Olga nodded as she continued the conversation. Although it was ready quite late, she had started to wonder where Daisy's mother was.

"What you mama is true, speaking of her, where is she? Do you know?"

She said with a soft voice, Daisy only shook her head, not sure.

"Mama has a really important job. Maybe she's late because she's still working"

Just on cue, you came running on the pitch, Hair messy and looking tired, your also wearing a dark red suit and black heels. When Daisy noticed you, she grinned and ran towards you.

"Mama!!"

Daisy engulfed you into a hug and her smile brightened, while you were hugging Olga walked over.

"Flo did really well today. She has the potential to achieve something amazing in football"

You nodded as Daisy let go, listening in the conversation.

"That's good, yes, l remember Daisy has been interested in football ever since she can run. Whenever she sees a ball, she always runs and plays with it"

Olga chuckled, her eyes lighting up as she looked at Daisy.

"Well, she's got talent, that's for sure," she said warmly. "If she keeps practising, who knows? Maybe one day, she'll be able to play with me professionally in the pitch."

You smiled proudly, glancing down at your daughter, who was beaming from ear to ear.

"She’s always admired you, Olga,"

you admitted.

"Thank you for spending time with her today. It means the world to her—and to me."

Olga dismisses the thanks with a modest smile.

"It’s my pleasure. I remember being her age, dreaming of the big leagues. Sometimes, all it takes is someone showing a bit of faith to turn that dream into a reality."

Daisy, still clutching her signed notebook, looked up at Olga with stars in her eyes.

"Will you come back next Saturday?"

she asked eagerly, Olga crouched down to meet her gaze.

"Of course, Daisy. I’ll be here as long as you’re ready to work hard and have fun."

She gave her a playful wink, which made Daisy giggle. As you and Daisy started to leave, Olga had said something.

"And remember, don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. Just keep believing in yourself!"

Daisy nodded, her little face serious with determination. Her hand clutched yours tightly as you walked away, her voice bubbling over with excitement.

"Mama, did you hear that? She believes in me!"

You smiled, squeezing her hand in return.

"I did, sweetheart. And I believe in you too. Just keep chasing that dream, and who knows where it'll take you."

A/N: l finally posted after a while 🤦‍♀️ l am currently editing my lia x reader story, l'll see yall then when l post it!

This is Theta signing out, see you next time!

#real madrid x reader #olga carmona #olga carmona x reader #real madrid #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso one shot

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olinblogin · 5 months ago

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GRAVITY FALLS SEXUALITY HCS

(If you’re gonna be rude/homophobic/transphobic click off this now please :3)

Also slight spoilers for the Book of Bill

Stanford “Ford” Pines - Bisexual, DemiAroAce, if he gets to know someone enough he’ll try and hit it off with em (slightly biased bc I selfship with this dork)

Stanley “Stan” Pines - Bisexual (actually implied canon)

Mason “Dipper” Pines - trans (semi-canon) Bi-curios, questioning; Mabel tries to help him out discovering himself but we all know what her methods are like

Mabel Pines - bisexual (implied canon via bisexual flag stickers she has)

Jesus “Soos” Ramirez - straight ally 💕

Blubs & Durland - gay (canon)

Wendy Corduroy - bisexual (implied canon)

Robbie Valentino - biromantic, possibly demiromantic & asexual!

Pacifica Northwest - questioning, possibly aroace-spec!

Agent Powers & Agent Trigger - gay. Look at them. Just look at them.

Bill Cipher - considering this man got drunk after Ford “broke up with him” this is the gayest triangle ever— idk really have a sexuality I hc him as I think he just goes after whoever

Anyways I GOT THE BOOK OF BILL YALL RAGGHH

Alex Hirsch is making me go mad over here

#book of bill #gravity falls #sexuality hcs #some are implied canon #stanford pines #stanley pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #soos ramirez #wendy corduroy #robbie valentino #sheriff blubs #deputy durland #Agent Trigger #agent powers #pacific northwest #olin rambling a bit

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 months ago

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Compotation

Warnings: non/dubcon, coercion and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Part of Roo’s Pajama Party (October 7-8)

Prompt: Compotation - a drinking or tippling together. (List of prompts here) + this look

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. I hope you enjoy this one and have a lovely weekend.

The world is awash with ripples. You feel heavy and light at once. The slosh in your stomach weighs you down as your head feels hollow.

You focus on measuring out the shot of tequila. You splash a little as you dump it into the bigger glass and add grapefruit juice and a bit of fizzy water. You swallow a belch and slam down the can, spilling even more onto the counter. You’re too angry, and tipsy, to care about any of it.

Knock, knock, knock. Fuckkkkk. It’s probably the neighbour come to whine about your music. It’s not even that loud. And it’s good music. Well, she can go rot with your boyfriend. Maybe even soon to be ex.

You take your drink with you to the door. Your fuzzy pants brush together warmly as coolness spreads over your exposed midriff. It’s too bad Bucky didn’t stay long enough to appreciate your new pajamas. No, you told him to go. No, good...

Maybe it’s him. He is so forgetful you wouldn’t put it past him to forget his own damn keys. You open the door, ready to bluster at neighbour and boyfriend alike. Your mouth hangs open as your met with a third unexpected option.

“Sam,” you blub out like a fish. “Oh, hey. He’s not here.”

“Oh,” he tilts his head, “figures. He’s not answering my texts. What’s going on? Party?”

He looks at your drink and you scoff. You take a deep gulp of the alcohol laced juice. You should slow down but you won’t. You don’t do this. No, you behave. You do everything Bucky tells you and he can’t do just one thing. One. Thing.

“Sure is,” you slur. “Party of one. I’ll tell him you stopped by when he drags himself home.”

Before you can close the door, he puts his hand against it, his strength easily blocking your own. You blink at him.

“What did he do?” He hums.

You roll your eyes, “what do you care? You’re his friend.”

“Oh, ouch. Kitten, I thought we were friends.”

“Mm, well, I guess,” you shrug.

“So, what are friends for, huh? Why don’t you tell me all about that deadbeat?” He smirks and smoothly edges his way inside. You don’t stop him. You could use the company.

You back up and blow a raspberry as you play back the argument that turned into Bucky yelling and you just a staring blankly. Then he left. No apology. No nothing. Somehow, you became the guilty party.

“He forgot our anniversary,” you grumble. “You know, just what he does. He can tell me what battle happened on what day, but he can’t remember our first date.”

“He forgot? Jesus, now how could he forget a girl like you?”

“Whatever, I don’t wanna talk about it,” you pause and slurp again. “You want a drink? You know, he can’t get drunk. He sucks down those beers for what? Because he likes the taste of piss?” You sneer.

Sam snickers.

“What?” You bluster.

“Nothing, I just... I’ve never seen you angry.”

“Yeah, well, I've been too accepting,” you spit. “So you wanna drink? Tequila and grapefruit. Or I have some peach juice.”

You lick the moisture from your lips and sway on your feet.

“Uh, sure, might as well,” he accepts.

“Uno momento,” you hold up a finger and drain your glass. You let out a long aaah as you finish then stagger into the kitchen. Are you leaning or are the walls?

You take out another glass. “Hey, grapefruit or--” you lower your voice as he enters the kitchen, “peach.”

“Mm, peach sounds sweet,” he says as he unzips his jacket. He hangs it on the back of one the tall chairs along the island. You hate them. You told Bucky they’re too high.

“Coming right up,” you declare.

You pour the drinks with a bit more care than before. Yet, your hands are just as clumsy. When at last you present him with a glass, it’s dripping. He doesn’t seem to mind.

“Hey, his loss.” Sam says as he turns and waves you out ahead of him. “I mean, old man should be ecstatic to hang out with a girl like you. He don’t know what he’s got.”

“No, he doesn’t,” you agree as you strut out into the front room. “You know, I didn’t even ask him to do anything. I set the date, I called the venue... he can’t even show up!”

“Aw, baby,” Sam sits with you on the couch. He takes a small sip as you swig back a mouthful. “That’s not fair. You deserve better than that.”

“I do,” you force yourself to put the cup down as you stomach stirs hotly. You wipe your sticky hands on your pajamas. He surprises you as his fingers wander over to touch the fuzzy fabric.

“Soft,” he comments, “he’s really missing out.”

“You like them? They’re new,” you look down at the crop top and pants.

“Soft and cute. Like you, kitten,” he drawls and reaches to put his glass next to yours.

Your head bobbles dizzily as you give a long blink. He continues to pet your pants, feeling the fluffiness. You can feel his touch beneath. It makes your skin hot.

“You okay, baby?” He asks.

You pout and shake your head. Your anger rolls into sadness, “no,” you sniffle as tears rise to the brims of your eyes, “no. Why doesn’t he care?”

“Aw, honey,” he stretches his arm across your back and you fall against him, burying your face in his shoulder, “it’s okay. I got you.”

“I tried so hard,” you snivel into his shirt as he rubs your back. His other hand cradles your head as he rocks and hushes you. “What am I gonna do? We signed a lease. We—we—I don’t think there’s any we--”

His hand creeps down to your neck and he extends his thumb under your jaw. He nudges you up as he draws away. He slides his hand under your chin and you flick your lashes against your tears. Before your vision can clear, his lips are on yours.

You push against his chest as you squeak in surprise. What is he doing? You tear your mouth away and gasp.

“Sam!” You sputter.

“Mm, he doesn’t deserve you, baby. Come on, let me show you what you need--”

“What-- why--” you gulp. “No, I can’t.”

“Kitten,” his hand falls down to your ass, “when’s the last time he even fucked you? I know you’re not all worked up just because a fight.”

You blanch and push your lip out. How does he know? You shake your head. “No, that’s not...”

“How long, baby?” He puts both hands on your hips and grips, kneading down to your thighs.

“No--”

“A month?”

You look away as your eyes gloss over once more.

“Longer?”

You shiver and grab his hands.

“Two... three...”

You shake as you cling to him, “please, Sam--”

“Six months? That’s it, right? Little longer?”

“How--” you choke on your unintended confession. “No, Sam.”

“I’m gonna treat you right, just relax,” he purrs.

“I can’t. I love him,” you insist.

“He doesn’t love you if he ain’t touching you,” he lurches your hips and easily puts you on your back. He shifts so that his knee is on the couch and drags the other up beside it. “Fuck, kitten, look at you,” he runs his hands up and down your thighs, “all dressed up for me, huh?”

“Sammy, please--”

“Mm, yes, keep calling me Sammy, baby,” his nails graze the fabric and he fingers curl around the elastic.

You groan and press your hand to your forehead as your vision thrums. Your temples pound and your heart races in panic. You’re too drunk.

He tugs and strips the pants past your ass. You whimper and throw your arm out.

“Sammy... I... don’t feel good.”

Your eyes roll back under your eyelids. You take deep breaths as you try to sober yourself. It only adds to the swirling sensation. Your legs raze with goosebumps as he frees your ankles from the elastic tails of the pajamas. You shiver and arch your back, exposed and weak.

He growls as a rustle stirs the air and the fabric heaps noisily on the floor. He grabs your leg and bends it, leaning it against the back of the couch. He pulls your other over the edge as the couch jostles beneath him. You blink and see his blurry figure looming over you as he bends over your pelvis.

You twitch and whine as he flutters his fingers along your folds. Your thighs tense. Your foot dangles just over the floor as your other sinks into the crack behind the cushion. Sam lowers himself as you retreat behind your eyelids.

His breath fans over you as he hums and hovers over your pussy. He purrs and nuzzles the patch of hair. You moan and reach down blindly. He grabs your hand and shoves it back and slides his tongue between your lips. You gasp and spasm.

He swipes his tongue again. You groan and your head falls to one side. You tilt your hips as he tends to you slowly, dragging up over your clit in long strokes before flicking back down.

Shame speckles over you as you remember who he is. What he’s doing. This is Sam. This is Bucky’s best friend. Your friend. You're just friends.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you dig down into denial. This isn’t real. Your drunk. This is all just the twisted delusion of your alcohol-laden mind. It’s not Sam making you feel so delicious. It’s Bucky. It’s Bucky. It can’t be anyone else.

He reaches up your stomach, tickling your bare skin, and slides his fingers beneath the bottom of your top. He fondles your chest as he laps at your hungrily. You moan and clasp onto his hand. It’s so good. So good it has to be Bucky.

You roll your hips in time with his tongue. You reach down with your other hand to push his head down. You need the release. It’s been so long since you got more than the fleeting pleasure of your vibrator. The warmth, the eagerness, the need in his touch enthralls you.

You murmur and mewl as your thighs tingle and your spine zing. You’re almost there. You feel the tension twisting tighter, tighter, tighter. You flex your feet as you tilt your hips frantically and cling to his head.

Your orgasm spills over and you cry out, “oh, Bucky, Bucky....”

He sucks on your clit as your climax crests and dissipates in a smattering of nerves. You huff and heave as you yawling turns to gibberish. His breath is damp as he pants against your leg before slowly raising himself.

He grabs your jaw and sets your head straight. Sam’s voice cuts through your fantasy. Your eyes round as you stare up at his dire expression. He shoves down his jeans impatiently as he squeezes until your bones ache.

He bends over, resting his hard dick against your cunt, and rocks against you. He smears his length along your wet folds, thrusting slowly, just enough to thrum but not enough to stoke anything more. You wriggle and whine.

“Forget him, kitten,” he continues his deliberate thrusts, “you’ll be begging for me and only me soon enough.”

#sam wilson #dark sam wilson #dark!sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #drabble #sleepover #avengers #mcu #captain america #falcon #marvel #pajama party

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stranger-opinions · 3 months ago

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maybe it's not a writers-block; maybe you just need a break

creativity is a muscle, right?

you need to exercise it to keep it in good shape, to have it ready when you need it and don't we all love those hyperfocused sprints of writing where the words just spill out of our fingertips...

but muscles get sore when you overuse them, will strain when you force them past their limits, they need nourishment to stay healthy and in shape

fandom today has a competitive atmosphere. many wouldn't admit that; it's supposed to be fun after all. just vibing with our mutuals, playing with the blorbos having a fun time online to scratch a few itches.

but the truth is that it can become a lot of pressure rather fast.

putting out several k of (edited) writing a month, setting up painstakingly formatted posts with the right tags and a fun header we spent hours on to look effortlessly cool and eye-catching just to hit post and then feel... nervous. excited too, sure...

but damn, when will the next chapter be finished? or the next one shot? will there be enough time to put a few blubs in between so that the few people who actually seem to care won't forget about us and move on?

writing for writing's sake is a nice notion. the myth of the self-sustaining artist who needs nothing more than a passion and their tools of choice.

but shit isn't just created out of nothing.

what has that all to do with the title of this post do you ask?

very few people can just keep going and going making art like that without needing any breaks and a good portion of those people very likely have very different conditions than most of us have with full-time jobs, families, school and so on.

For many of us writing is a main outlet, an important hobby and a safe space but that still doesn't change that it is a creative hobby, an outlet that demands energy: emotional, mental and physical (typing for hours is hard work if you want to believe it or not) and that sometimes makes it impossible to accept that we just need a fucking break.

"writers-block", in my own experience, is my brain telling me that something is off and that it's on strike until I fucking fix that.

and sometimes it's just that I need a break.

that I need to recharge my creative batteries, take in things that inspire me, that make me happy and get me excited without having to make anything myself. to just be. take some walks amongst trees, watch a new series, read a new book, go into a deep dive of some random topic on wikipedia until I don't know where the fuck I started from.

sometimes I just need to log out, cut the overstimulation of a never ending dashboard, turn off what everybody else on tumblr is doing, how much everbody is putting out, get away from my frustration about "my flopped fic" or the latest fandom drama and reconnect with the real reason I am doing this.

the love for stories and the source material.

for some people those breaks can be as short as two days, for other is might be weeks or months and that is not only okay but totally normal.

sometimes you might realize that the reason you are not writing is that you actually don't want to. sometimes you just want to daydream without the extra work sometimes you're just not in a writing mood and it's not much deeper than that.

that doesn't have to mean you're done with your blorbos. it just means that there are more valid and fun ways to play with them.

don't worry, the fandom will still be there when you decide to pick up the keyboard again. maybe with less people, maybe with many different people but you will always find someone who cares. those who have moved on to different things not come back wouldn't likely have stayed if you had powered through.

fandom shouldn't be a you're in or you're out thing but a place you come to when you want to.

contentification of fandom has had a lot of negative effects on the way we create and so many people fade from their hobby because they simply burn themselves out to a point where it leaves a scar.

so. find something that makes you happy that does not require you to invest too much creational energy. rest those muscles as long as it takes.

nothing you can get on tumblr or ao3 is worth the sore brain, the frustration with yourself and the stress you add onto your mental health ontop of everything else in your life.

recharge, reevaluate, reconnect

have fun

#fandom discourse #fandom problems #writers block #fandom #fanfiction #fanfiction writers

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life-is-unreal · 3 months ago

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Stranger Danger~ {Genshin x Reader} Teyavat Chapter 15 - Artifact farming with Klee

You groaned. "What the fuck. They seriously locked me inside my own fucking room? Paimon, you little mf."

Let's just say that Paimon and Jean decided that you should return back since your anemo energy was pretty much depleted. Were you annoyed? Yeah. You seriously wanted to cook some emergency food.

Hell, Aether was like, "Y/N, stay there ok? You'll get kidnapped or some shit." Aaaand he locked the fucking door.

"Blub Blub." Bob and Bobetta stared at you confused.

"Hush. It's not like ya'll can help me open the-... BOBETTA?!" You screeched.

Bobetta's innocent eyes blinked. She didn't look so innocent next to what's left of the door though.

You gaped at the ashes. "YOU BURNED DOWN THE FUCKING DOOR?"

"I-I- Oh whatever, you're a fucking pyro slime. The fuck was I expecting?" You pressed your temples.

"Bob, Bobetta, come on, I seriously need to spend some money right now."

-.-.-

(Earth)

"Yvonne. Is everything done?"

"Yeah, Lorelei's gonna pay for the food and stuff. I'm still trying to get a helicopter though. I think the rich people are getting a hang on what's happening."

Yeleris frowned. "That won't do, we need at least one helicopter, I'm not going to be stuck in a car when the Apocalypse starts."

Lorelie rolled her eyes, "Why would you even want to go out when it starts? It's sooo stupid. Like girl?"

"You don't understand, I need to record what's going to happen in the early stages. You know how the Apocalypse in this world is basically a defense system on Earth against destructive elements like humans. We don't even know what form of Apocalypse it is."

"So? It's not the first Apocalypse themed world. It's always zombies, or shitty weather, or both, or some, I don't know, random ass supernatural shit." Yvonne muttered.

"We can just throw some surveillance cameras around the city. I'd much rather lounge at home you know?"

Lorelie poked your face. "When is Y/N going to wake up? It's my first time seeing a person inside a contaminated world get picked to become a player you know? Hopefully she doesn't die in Teyvat. That wouldn't be very fun."

"It's probably a system bug. I mean, I've never seen a player that's originally from a contaminated world and their original body didn't go with them to their assigned world. That's like- eughhh." Yvonne checked your pulse. "She's still alive at least. Time passes differently in each world, she might stop breathing any second you know?"

"You're talking as if we're gonna let her die." Lorelei grumbled, closing the door behind her.

"You guys had to choose this place? I got fucking lost trying to find it."

"What? I'm not going to pick a place near the city center. What if it's a zombie apocalyptic world? They're ugly and smelly lil shits." Yeleris hissed.

"Eugh. You and your stupid OCD shit."

"I DON'T HAVE OCD."

"Yeaaaaaa, totallyyy."

-.-.-

(Mondstadt City)

"Blub Blub?"

Bob spewed cold air all over your face. "Blub blub blub?" You hissed holding your head. For a second, you swore that you heard the voices of your dorm mates.

"Are you ok pretty sister?" Klee asked. Her large eyes staring into yours.

"Yeah... Wait! What are you doing here?"

"Ehehe Klee couldn't resist fish bombing. Aaaand, big brother Kaeya saw me so Klee ran away..."

You raised a brow, "Klee, there's barely any fish left. Do you know how mad Jean is going to be?"

Klee rubbed her little hands, "Klee...Aha! Klee will say that it's the water thingies that killed the fish!"

"...Whatever make you happy Klee. Aren't you going to find Albedo?" You asked, not noticing the male.

Klee sighed softly, "Albedo is experimenting with the sample you gave Jean. He wouldn't let me play with him. Klee is sooo boreeeddd..." She hugged your waist. "Big sister Y/N, can we please g play? Pleasssse. Klee will make you some Dodocos! We can match!"

Rubbing her fluffy hair, you nodded. "Klee, do you want to help me with farming?"

The loli tilted her head, "Farm? Big sister farms? Like, plants?"

"No Klee. I mean artifact farming."

"Arty- facts? Hmmmm, it's those trinkets right?! Klee has quite a few! Klee can give you some!" Just like that, a bunch of five-star artifacts appeared in her arms.

"Big sister can take everything!" Klee giggled at your dumbfounded expression.

You breathed in and out slowly, opening your mouth hesitantly. "K-Klee. Did you farm these yourself or was it one of your big sisters and brothers?"

Klee blinked. "Oh! Klee was testing out one of Klee's new prototypes and big brother Albedo told Klee to go into a- umm, doymin, ummm, domain! We were in Liyue gathering materials for his potions so Klee went to the nearest domain. I think it's called the Domain of Blessing? Yeah! There were lots of pyro slimes so Albedo had to help me out with that one. Klee has also done a lot of other domains but the arty-facts there aren't as good so Klee just gives them away as presents!"

"W-well, Klee, do you want to go with me to farm artifacts?"

"Sure!!! Will Bob and Bobetta come with us?!"

"Yeah... Why not...". You needed Bob to help defeat the pyro slimes, Bobetta being a pyro slime could probably also help confuse the slimes.

-.-.-

(Valley of Remembrance)

"Klee, are you absolutely sure you want to try this level?" You gaped as the girl hopped to the lvl 90 door.

"It's fine big sister! Klee has done it sooo many times with big sister Sucrose!" She laughed. "My Hydro version of Dodoco was created with the help of Sucrose after fighting the pyro slimes! Klee couldn't do anything with the pyro Dodoco!"

"Wait- you have a hydro version of Dodoco?" You raised a brow. If Klee could create different types of bombs, Klee's overall power would be increased significantly, perhaps she could become the second Alice.

"Yeah! Klee also has a cryo and geo version. Klee will create more versions if big brother Albedo and big sister Jean allows!"

You nodded, "Let's go Klee."

And with that, the two of you were sucked into the darkness. How could you describe it? It's like someone being in a vacuum, except it didn't feel uncomfortable, in contrast, it felt quite nice.

"There you are!" Klee smiled happily, handing you a blue Dodoco. "Hi Bobetta! Hi Bob! Klee would give you one too but there's not a lot. Klee will give you some next time we go arty-fact farming!"

She snickered softly at your awed gaze. "It's your first time in an arty-fact domain right! It's really beautiful! Klee was sooo surprised on her first time too! You see that big red key in the middle of the platform? Just put your hand on it! The slimes will spawn after a few seconds. Just in time for Klee to place the Dodocos!"

It didn't take too long for you to truly acknowledge just how overpowered Klee is.

"BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUBBB!" Bob and Bobetta screeched. Their normal blub blubs were gone, the high pitched blubs that came out of their... mouths? Yeah, never heard of. From their animated expressions, you could see just how shaken they were.

What happened a few seconds before was that the moment the pyro slimes showed up, the hydro Dodocos exploded, so now, there's a bunch of slime fragments littered everywhere.

"BLUUUUB BLUUUUB." Bobetta shrieked as Klee scooped her up out of curiosity. No wonder, you would be scared to death if you saw a bunch of humans explode right in front of you and the person that caused it casually scoops you up.

"Wooowwww, Klee never knew slimes could make this expression. It's so cute!" Her eyes turned into crescent moons, squishing the orange blob.

Bob bounced behind you, his eyes gazing fearfully at Klee. "BLUB!" Bobetta's eyes welled with tears, staring into yours. If slimes could talk Bobetta would probably be cussing and screaming to get out of Klee's arms.

"Klee sweetie, let's go get the artifacts." you said sighing, plucking the teary eyed Bobetta out of her arms.

"Awwww, ok!"

"...You are fuc- Fudging kidding me. YOU GOT ALL CRITS AND I GET DEFS? KLEE I DEMAND ANOTHER ROUND. AND YOU GOT TWO FIVE- STARS? WHAT?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 15.5 + Teyvat Chapter 16:

https://www.tumblr.com/life-is-unreal/764850059160485888/stranger-danger-genshin-x-reader-teyvat-chapter?source=share

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