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magellanicclouds · 6 months ago

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Halo - An Essay: regarding waste management systems and devices for MJOLNIR armoured Spartans It has been a hectic sort of few weeks. Between work and getting sick again (for the fourth time already this year thanks to my crewmates who can't remember it's their duty to stay home when they're ill) I've been on the outs. I haven't had the energy for much, but I'm usually a pretty active person, so this has kind of made me loopy? Which feels like as good a time as any to talk at length about the concept of catheterizing Spartans for waste management in MJOLNIR.

Let me explain.

This Silly Post crossed my dash recently and I fully understand it is meant as lighthearted fun - we have fun here. But it also dragged out some strong thoughts I've had haunting in the back of my mind about this for years because I'm super normal about Halo, and have time on my hands and the right amount of sleep deprivation and medication on board. So I wrote 3500 words about it. And about Karen Traviss, who is pretty knotted up in this conversation, since she's the one who decided to start it back in 2011.

To preface, I'm not an expert, but I have worked in emergency medicine for 25 years, and been a fan of Halo for almost as long. I've had more of a lukewarm relationship with it the last decade or so if I'm being honest, but it will always have a home in my heart; I just think letting it under my skin like that in the first place may have made me feral and prone to biting. Thankfully, I can always happily rotate Fred in my mind until the heat-death of the universe, so that's nice. Anyway, full disclosure: the essay below contains discussion about medical devices, physical trauma, and I am sharing quite a lot of personal negativity about the Kilo-5 trilogy and Karen Traviss. That said, if you'd like to sit in on the length of what I'm about to yell into the sky about all this, you can find it under the cut. I love you.

Welcome to my dissertation.

Section 1 - The Relevant Background:

Equipping Spartans with urinary catheters weeded itself into the Halo universe in the 2011 book Halo: Glasslands, during a conversation between Spartan II Naomi-010 and ODST Mal Geffen. Glasslands was the first in Karen Traviss's Kilo-5 trilogy, and she is both the originator of this, and the only official Halo author or source to have used catheters specifically since. Some context: I don't personally like these books, or their author, or even her reasoning for why she chose to add this. My personal preference doesn't make something 'bad', and I'm not out to hurt any feelings. Kilo-5 isn't a total wash for me, there are some characters and ideas that I'd of otherwise loved to have seen explored through the lens of a different author, but these books felt smothered under Traviss's habit of always injecting her very loud personal voice into the narrative fabric. I think this is something that's fine to do in an original series, but doesn't really belong in an established third party IP. She bangs on about so much of her own narrow worldview and self-assured prejudices across the trilogy that still discussing them today creates division in the fandom, and sadly did a lot of lasting damage to a couple characters. But for the topic here, the dialogue that started all this cath chat came from Naomi-010, having idle conversation with Mal who asks her about bathroom breaks. “I’m catheterized. Another reason why that machine has to be so precisely calibrated. This suit plugs into me in a lot of places.” 'The Machine' she's referring to is a Brokkr assembly, which was introduced to the lore as a large mechanical armature used to get Spartans in and out of MJOLNIR. You can see them in action in cinematics from Halo 4 (+Spartan Ops) and 5.

One single mention, and it was big news. Traviss was naturally interviewed about it because of course she was - people can't help themselves but forget an entire novel and tunnel vision on 'but how pee pee?', and her answer has always irritated me. It's not in what she says, so much as what 'what she says' means in her voice. Traviss didn't answer it directly, but instead talked about how she likes to get into character's heads by addressing the mundane necessity of things that often go overlooked to expand a sense of familiarity with the character and their world. Sounds super reasonable, I know, but don't give her too much credit - that's not a quote. It's just me paraphrasing and honestly I was pretty generous in my wording. Probably because I agree! What bugs me about it, is if you've ever read literally any interview with her, or her personal musings about her writing process, you know there's a bit of an 'honesty' issue there. She's somebody who feels perfectly comfortable ignoring established character voices, traits, or histories to satisfy whatever roles she's reinvented for them, and too many others wind up as mouthpieces. How much are you really challenging yourself in finding characters' voices when most of them are just yours? And the part about familiarity with their world? I giggled a little. She doesn't care about their world, or their aesthetics, or their technology, or their medicine. Because she didn't care about Halo while writing these, and she's not vague about admitting that. It's a matter of pride for her to purposefully refuse to research those things, in the same way she disregarded Star Wars and Gears of War - she doesn't consider the effort to be a valuable part of her process. So instead she'll skim the foundation, gather some recognizable names, pick her targets, and trusts that her personal experiences combined with an outsider perspective will generate better content to seamlessly overwrite what existed. Cool, Karen. Annoying, but why bring all that up? We're here to talk about catheters, right? Well, the fandom for the most part begin and end their assessment of the dialogue at urinary catheters, but the whole quote implies so much more than that - "This suit plugs into me in a lot of places." We're not just dealing with a cath, but apparently with multiple additional external-to-invasive connections. Reader, this dialogue is a plinth to Traviss's bizarre refusal to research not only the franchises she's contracted to write in, but also just into the basic function and hazards of existing concepts that she wants to introduce, and all because she's convinced herself she's done learning about the world. Choosing to ignore the creative freedom of limitless potential in a future of technology that would be basically magic to us today, and instead degrade 529 years of advancement is certainly a take, but it's even more ridiculous to do it with a subject (The Spartan Programme) that is considered to be the peak of advancement in that future's setting. That's clownery, just like her alleged commitment to adjusting her perspective to suit a universe's world.

I want to close out this section with a question: Why is it that writers in the Halo space - both fan and official - cling so tightly to current-day modern concepts as if they'd still be perfectly relevant in 500+ years? Music, for example, apparently suffered a multi-century stagnation in lots of published and fanmade Halo media. Though my partner made a strong counterpoint about this to be fair: we still listen to music composed by Mozart. So there's an argument to be made there. Medicine though. There is way less latitude to embrace the classics there. It's been shown across several games, novels, and films to be sufficiently advanced well beyond anything we're currently capable of or even understand, so why undermine that and choose to drag it centuries backward? For clarity, I am not talking about what might be standard in the public or private sectors, nor the enduring things that'd be used by the public and military alike, like sterile dressings, syringes, supplemental oxygen equipment. Those are the Basics and they will be relevant to us indefinitely. But I'm talking about the UNSC. I'm talking about ONI R&D. I'm talking about Section Three. Retrograding tech and failing to address a necessity that applies to every living person in the Super Soldier Wizardry department makes my mouth flatten into a tight little line.

Section Two - Caths, and why this whole thing got written:

Indwelling urinary catheters, both urethral and suprapubic. There's a laundry list of problems here, but I've distilled it down to the three biggest when suggesting they'd have any safe practical application in Spartans: Care. Activity. Damage. There is unreasonable expectations of care and maintenance for caths with regards to people who can be on operations isolated for months at a time with no support of any kind and are often limited to carrying only what can be kept on their person. The level of extreme physical activity Spartans engage in on any perfectly normal day whether deployed or not is unfit for the stability and safety of a cath. And damage; obvious enough, but with this one I'll be taking a huge emphasis on concussive forces - explosions. Something Spartans are subjected to a lot. I'll be using the height of modern-day catheter quality as a baseline for this, since that's what Traviss felt was sufficient. Regarding Urethral vs Suprapubic, Traviss doesn't specify by name, but Naomi's comment in full reads to me that she's only catheterized temporarily while armoured, hence the assembly needing to be so finely calibrated. Foley caths are temporary urethral caths that would only supplement the urinary process while a person was armoured. Suprapubic caths however are surgically placed devices. They do need routine tube replacement to keep them clean, but unlike the Foley that just serves as an aide measure for an otherwise fully functioning bladder, suprapubic caths are usually placed in people with congenital bladder disfunction, or who've suffered injury or disease that left the bladder in poor health or failure. This type of access will always require a tube in place and this would be the exclusive method of urination - in or out of armour. My Big Three Concerns fit both types similarly, though there is some additional risks associated with urethral caths that I'll cover.

Care: Caring for an invasive cath is a not insignificant effort. They're prone to blockage, kinking, and bacterial growth. They're so frequently responsible for UTIs and kidney stones that these complications are just considered the Standard Fair for having a cath. Their need to be frequently replaced because of their penchant for bacterial growth is the kicker here - whole floral colonies sprout up in caths and can eek their way out into the body through compromised tissue and wreck havoc. They have no self-cleaning mechanism, and steadily deteriorate. Changing and replacing an indwelling cath is a procedure that requires additional supplies that'd have to be carried, and needs to be done in a practiced and clean setting; preferably medical. Granted, there are people who manage the removal and insertion of their own caths at home, but they still need to ensure a clean and safe environment while they do this. A Spartan could never be guaranteed that, nor would it even be wise to consider the vulnerability of removing so much armour to handle it. Modern day caths are recommended to be replaced every 30 days or so, with some models able to be in place for a few months at a time, but that's with constant daily care and cleaning; something that'd be unreasonable for a Spartan to maintain while entrenched who knows where for who knows how long, and without access to replacement medical supplies. Those endurance times between replacements are geared for the average public person who leads an average public life and care for their cath as directed and don't get into fist fights with Sangheili. Needless to say, the endurance time for the same device in a Spartan who leads a wildly different lifestyle probably cuts those times down to a third.

Activity: Modern day caths are designed to offer people the most utility and versatility possible. Both models are available for people who are bed-bound or have extremely limited mobility, as well as for those who are mobile, independent, and live out average lives. With regards to the latter, suprapubics are somewhat more common, if for no other reason than to reduce the Foley's higher risks of induction injury, but modern urethral caths also allow for regular movement and activity with a more reduced chance of becoming dislodged or damaged than they would have had a couple decades ago. But when I say regular activity, I mean going on a walk. Shopping for groceries. Doing basic house chores. Even light exercise and sexual activity can be managed with physician advisement and the appropriate precautions taken. Anytime a Spartan was fielded they'd have to be all the more overly-cautious about Movements Outside of Their Control during confrontations, maneuvers, ambush, environmental or vehicular incidents. Even when things go well there'd be too much risk involved. That said, traumatic decatheterizations happen more frequently than anyone would like, and I'm talking about regular old Joe Everybody. I respond to no less than a dozen of these incidents a year. Both types of catheter are held in place by a bulb balloon that's inflated from a port with around 10-30ccs of saline after the tube enters the bladder (30ccs would be more appropriate for better security of the line). Before removing a cath, the saline is removed to deflate the balloon and the tube is guided out - with a Foley cath, that means being guided out of the urethra. When a Foley cath is traumatically removed, the saline filled balloon - which is like five times wider in diameter than the average 6mm urethra - does a pretty devastating amount of damage on it's way out, penis or vagina; though a penile urethra has significantly more length to damage, and the penile meatus very typically is torn. These incidents run high risk of bladder hematoma as well, which requires urgent surgical intervention. The very worst traumatic decatheterizations I've responded to were all penile and had trauma to external tissue. Ever microwaved a hotdog a little too long?

Damage: How often are Spartans subjected to explosive and other concussive forces? Silly question - answer: a lot and often and unavoidable. And we know they still feel the powerful feedback. Despite shields and dampeners and a self-moderating gel layer, strong inertial forces are still felt through the suits. Across multiple novels we're given details about near misses and blasts, accelerated or uncontrolled falls, rattling their teeth, hampering their vision, hearing, or balance; they've been rendered unconscious and suffered internal injuries. The fact that most of these events don't flat out kill them is a credit to their armour and augmentations. For reference - when a person experiences explosive or concussive force from a distance enough to avoid separation of limbs, bisection, etc, the totality of their injuries can't and won't be seen externally. How they present on the outside is just the tippy tip of the iceburg - it's what's happened to them internally that you need to be concerned about. Cracked or fractured bones, torn musculature, arterial shearing, hollow organ rupture, cardiac and brain tissue bleed, to name some common ones, and this kind of trauma extends to all implanted devices as well. For example, rods and nails and other structural aids or replacements are much more resilient than your organic tissues, and can dislodge when tissues tear or rupture, damaging anything in their way like shrapnel. The fragile little balloon of a catheter will shatter when subjected to even relatively minor explosive force, so to even consider for a moment that this would be a viable piece of equipment for people intended to routinely be involved in explosive environments is beyond willful negligence. That there wouldn't be a better solution to the question of waste management - a necessity for literally all human people who make up the entirety of the Spartan branch, with the infinite funding of ONI R&D seems so stupid to me that I… well, that I wrote this. Because, friends - participating in active warfare is not cath-safe. The kinds of physical demands and forces on Spartan bodies are not cath-safe. The risks will never outweigh the benefits to this. Even while sealed in powered armour and a skinsuit tech layer, the very thought of Section Three engineers or Halsey or anyone involved in the development of MJOLNIR dismissing the glaring obvious failure of Spartans having any kind of externalized invasive devices is so unreasonably negligent that it could only be the brainchild of an author who's convinced that these characters are all actually just psuedo-intelligent government boogiemen who aren't as capable as they claim to be. But No. They are that capable, and they are that intelligent and the fact that they have a bottomless budget and deeply flexible ethics is literally what makes them so dangerous.

So if we have to address this, how do we do it? Apparently there was always an official answer for this. Former Franchise Development Director, creator of the Master Chief**, and extremely racist asshole Frank O'Connor weighed in on this in the same interview, where he almost immediate rejected and denied Traviss's catheterization claim and says that 'this sort of stuff' was the kind of thing he and the other creative heads at Bungie/343i talked and planned about all the time. So how does this work then, because we're invested now. According to 'ol Frankie's elegant input: they just pee freely into the suit. That's it. For clarity, he's talking about the skinsuit and not the MJOLNIR interior proper. He goes on to say that connectivity between body and MJOLNIR at all levels is fully noninvasive, but precise, and that it doesn't matter what kind of body output a Spartan introduces into the suit interior, because a hygienic valve system (??) will scrub it continually and collect all matter for recycling and reintroduction via capillary action powered by movement. It's not clear in what layers or intermediaries these mechanisms occupy, he doesn't break it down more than that. But that's the answer, and it did exist back when Traviss was penning Kilo-5.

Is this answer better than haphazardly plugging extension cords from actual organ systems into MJOLNIR interior? Yes. Like, leagues better by comparison, but also I still think it sucks. To me anyway. It's flat out gross as hell, which definitely fits the personal brand of a man who proudly overfed his cat and called himself "Stinkles", but also it just doesn't strike me as the kind of design strategy ONI would pursue for any of their assets. Beside it just being 100% torn from Dune's stillsuits, it's also missing that special brand of proprietary Section Three je ne sais quoi. There's layers upon layers of too-specialized equipment installed into these people for everything else, why skip this? A body function that should have been Point 3 on a 50 point list of 'stuff to manage'. Also though? It's a lot of freedom. This is just another easy opportunity to add yet another layer of dependence. Spartans are expensive equipment. It doesn't do to give them any fewer reasons to think they can ever walk away.

So anyway, I figured I'd take a crack at it. I came up with this while editing the last two paragraphs: [Waste management] - a fully internalized collection and processing device - lets say a cybernetic implantation - that entirely replaces the bladder. It has bio-organic lumens that interconnect it to the GI and Hepatic organs. The implant assists in accelerating the processing of gathering and refining waste materials with the help of nanobots that identify and redirect waste along the lumens of each system, plus they keep the implant clean and free of bad flora. All twice-processed waste gets refined a lot quicker and any water by-product of the process is refined and redistributed back to the organs along the lumens. None of the refined water is removed from the body for drinking, because that's an unnecessary step; it's already inside. (Drinking water would be the responsibility of a suit system more likely - like, sweat leeching in the skinsuit; refine, filtrate, purify, collect into a reservoir, and jettison the excess sodium. ) There is no 'extraction of other viable nutrient' from the remainder, it's been twice identified as waste. It gets catabolized and consumed by the nanobots as a fuel source, and no externalized waste is created at all while the Spartan is geared up. The implant doesn't always run like this - it only engages this way when the Spartan is wearing MJOLNIR, and when they're not, it just works like an out-of-the-box bladder. The intermittence of usage lets the organic organs truck along as usual, preventing risk of atrophy, and the Spartan can just use a bathroom like everyone else. I'm not a bioengineer, but I do like sci fi and I think all that sounds like something that'd be possible in this sandbox. And that's the real fun of it, isn't it? There's no way anyone today can anticipate what sort of gadgetry might be available 500+ years from now, especially in a fictional universe that includes military tech hybridized with reverse engineered alien tech.

I think it's fascinating when writers and artists shake loose and really grab the reins, and I love seeing the fruit of that labour in this particular tumblr community so often. We're not a huge Halo circle, but we're a passionate one, and if this essay leaves you with nothing else, I hope it will at least remind you to Go For It when you're writing your next fic or drawing your next piece, or composing, or sewing, or printing, or anything!

In Conclusion: Rest easy, friends.

Despite Traviss's word and even books that went to print, the official canon is that Spartans are not catheterized. If that's a bummer for anyone, canon can't stop you from writing whatever you want, but I do hope maybe you'll remember my reasoning for why it might not be the best idea? At least not for armoured Spartans. A Spartan, but they're laid up in hospital? Any non-Spartan personnel? Maybe you're writing in the public sector, a colony world or vessel? Sure - I'll bet caths are still plenty widely used. Why not? They're a blissfully simple and useful effective piece of equipment. It's just all about adjusting and adapting for practicality. Medical science, like any technology, adapts and evolves infinitely as we learn and discover new things. Treatments or drug algorithms I'd of used just last year have already undergone changes, and protocols are amended constantly. It's why a person 'practices' medicine; why a scientist is always a student. If questions like this or similar really need answering in your next work, remember: Give yourself the credit you deserve, and embrace the spirit of invention. Let my Cyber Bladder, by Sparklets be the candle in the window for you!

You may all retrieve your keys from the bowl and unsilence your phones. Stay safe and please text me when you get home. Thank you. ' u ' **Addendum: Former Bungie Creative Art Director Marcus Lehto is in fact the person who is most associated with the creation of the Master Chief.**

#halo #long form #my writing

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toastedcinnamonflakes · 2 days ago

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Guide on How to Improve Your Reading Level

So. You want to improve your reading level. You currently read only “easy” stories – for example Colleen Hoover. But you want to challenge yourself. You want to read more.

Well, let me help you. I am compiling a guide for you here to help you get more advanced with your reading. I have sorted literature into different levels, and will give you suggestions for each level. This is not an all-encompassing guide, more like a guideline – obviously I don’t know every single author. I will try to stick to authors that are all also available in English, but if one or two sneak in that are not available in English, or your main language, I apologise. I encourage you to seek suggestions outside of this, too. A good place to get good recommendations and not just the same five #BookTok books over and over again are actually newspapers and magazines with a Feuilleton! You can also message me for some tips, or find other book blogs on tumblr. I am sure most are glad to help.

I am not sorting these books by categories like “Children’s books��, “Young adult” or similar, because I find that within those loose categories, books can vary wildly. Instead, I am focusing on complexity, length, necessary existing knowledge and other factors. Without further ado, let me begin!

Level 1: Books that are short, to the point, without complex vocabulary. There usually are no metaphors there, and if there are, you do not necessarily HAVE to dive into them, the story makes sense nonetheless. You do not need to have any pre-existing knowledge to understand them, either. They are also either stand-alones or can be read as stand-alones, so you do not have to commit to a long series.

Such books are:

Most books by Dyanna Wynne Jones, especially her Fantasy novels

Books by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Most books by Leigh Bardugo (although is STRONGLY discourage you from reading the Shadow and Bone trilogy, those books are messy, unimaginative and kinda sexist. She found her literary footing after that.)

Books by Michael Ende

Most books by Erich Kästner (his few excursions into adult literature are more complex and require some previous knowledge about the Weimar Republic)

Books by Alexander Kielland Krag

Books by Walter Moers

Most books by V.E. Schwab

Books by Axie Oh

Books by Naomi Novik

Books by Casey McQuiston

Books by Kai Meyer

Books by Marissa Meyer

Books by T.J. Klune

Level 2: Now we are coming onto books that, while mostly still short, use a bit more complex vocabulary and/or metaphor. So, you might be required to not take everything literally and do a bit of interpretation. Occasionally, you might need to do a quick Wikipedia read to get context for the book. The characters are becoming a bit more complex, too, but often the text itself explains character’s motivations/thoughts directly.

Books that fit that description are for example:

"Convenience Store Woman" by Sayaka Murata

“Swimming in the Dark” by Tomasz Jędrowski

“Kim Jiyoung, born 1982” by Cho Nam-Joo

Books by Phillip Pullman, in particular his “Golden Compass” Trilogy

“Iron Widow” by Xiran Jay Zhao

“Fire and Hemlock” by Dyanna Wynne Jones

Books by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Books by Celeste Ng

“The last Unicorn” by Peter S. Beagle

Level 3: Now we are reaching books that use complex vocabulary, maybe you even need to look up a word or two (but this is how you expand your own vocabulary). The sentences are more complex, the stories are constructed in a more complex way (but still usually follow one narrative string), the characters are most of the time nuanced. You will need to pay attention to the subtext and do some interpreting of your own. Some of these books have the labels “classic” attached to them, but don’t let that scare you – in fact, for most classics, you will be able to look up information/interpretations online if you are struggling. We also have some books now that are either parts of a longer series or parts of a bigger canon (not all of them, some are still stand-alones).

Such books are for example:

Books by Agatha Christie

Books by Selma Lagerl��f (although I have to say, she very often uses metaphors, dream-sequences and similar narrative devices)

Books by Terry Pratchett

Andrzej Sapkowski’s “Witcher”Saga

“The Shadow land” by Elizabeth Kostova

Books by Joan Lindsay

“A hero of our time” by Michail Lermontow

“Sauhund” by Lion Christ

Most books/short stories by Nikolai Gogol

Some of Stanislaw Lem’s books, like “The Star Diaries”, “Tales of Pirx the Pilot”

Books by Hanne Ørstavik, particularly the books before “Love”

Books by Gerd Brantenberg

“Revolutionary Road” by Richard Yates

“Carmilla” by Sheridan Le Fanu

The “Sherlock Holmes” Stories by Arthur Conan Doyle

Level 4: On this level, the vocabulary is advanced and the sentence structure is complex. The characters are multi-dimensional, complicated and explored on a psychological level.

The books want to say something, and often say it through the use of metaphors. You need to be attentive while reading, maybe even take some notes, if you really want to get to the bottom with your interpretation. Still, the books follow a (mostly) clear plotline and while there are occasionally some “non-realistic” elements in them like Dreams, they are still somewhat grounded in a fictional reality that mostly mirrors our own. Many of these novels are also long.

Jane Austen’s books

Fyodor Dostoevsky’s books

“Rebecca” by Daphne du Maurier

“Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte

“Wuthering Heights” by Emily Bronte

“Agnes Grey” and “The Tennant of Wildfell Hall” by Anne Bronte

Plays by Friedrich Schiller

Plays by Henrik Ibsen

Most books by the Strugatzki brothers

“War and Peace” and “Anna Karenina” by Lew Tolstoi

“Dracula” by Bram Stoker

“Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley

books by Jeannette Winterson

books by Charles Dickens

Short stories by Anton Tschechow

Books by Michail Bulgakow

Level 5: Now we have reached the territory of the truly advanced reader. These books are not simple by any stretch of the word. These novels are not always more complex than the ones on level four vocabularly-wise, but they require you to have pre-existing knowledge of other works of literature (they often make references). You need to pay close attention while reading, perhaps re-read passages multiple times. The structure of these novels is often non-linear and/or experimental. They are mostly not “realistic”, rely heavily on metaphors, symbols and signs within the text. They can be confusing at times. Often, they play with the language and experiment. The meaning of these novels is multi-layered, and interpretations can differ wildly.

Such books are:

“If on a winter’s night a traveler” by Italo Calvino

“The experiment” by the brothers Strugatzki

Almost everything by Karen Blixen (“Out of Africa” is a bit easier, though still very complex and there are many symbols in that novel, too)

Books by Jon Fosse

“The Key” by Junichiro Tanizaki

Books by Osamu Dazai

“Catherine House” by Elisabeth Thomas (okay, I was conflicted where to put this – the vocab is not that difficult, but the structure is very unclear and dream-like and it puts a lot of emphasis on symbols. Maybe it would be good to start your journey to Level 5 novels with this one, if you are not very confident in your reading abilities)

Books by Han Kang

“The futurological congress” by Stanislaw Lem

Books by Günter Grass

“The Man Outside” by Wolfgang Borchert

Books by Slavenka Draculic (specifically her novels, her essays have a different style, obviously)

Books by Sjon

Short stories by Edgar Allan Poe

Books by Vladimir Sorokin

Books by Angela Carter

“Kult” by Ljubko Deresch

Most books by Vladimir Nabokov

Tales by E.T.A. Hoffman

The differing factor between these last two levels often is the STRUCTURE of the novels. I am making this distinction because I have seen that quite a few people struggle with experimentalist/surrealist/non-linear structure.

Others of these stories have a more linear structure, yes, but require you to dig deep beneath the surface to find out the meaning of various symbols in order to interpret the story.

Also, pay attention to the language! Many of these authors, like Nabokov, play around with double-meanings, similar sounding words (homophones) and even more than one language.

I hope this guide helps. Obviously, it is not perfect, but it should give you an idea where to start and where to progress. It is important to have fun while reading, and there is no shame in jumping between the levels. But, you should challenge yourself: You are smart! You can understand difficult things! Yes, it might be hard at first, but precisely because of that you should keep trying. If you never challenge yourself, you will never get better.

I wish you all the best on your reading journey <3

#books #literature #improvement #self improvement #reading #dark academia #light academia #academia #classic lit #classic literature

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aleksanderscult · 11 months ago

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my favorite interpretation of him is as a man who WANTS that companionship and love but. He’s been burned so many times before, falling in love with people he outlived due to war and his slower aging. So he can’t allow himself to be hurt like that again. Deep inside his little black heart he would love to be equals with Alina but unfortunately years of trauma and pain have left him entirely unable to exist in a relationship that doesn’t have a power imbalance in his favor. He doesn’t know how to let go of his want for power even in his relationships anymore. And now that he needs Alina for his Grand Schemes, well he definitely can’t fall in love with her without potentially fucking up his plan, right? He needs her to do many very specific things and he can’t be blinded by Real Emotion that might make him change his mind so instead he keeps her at arms length while making her THINK her feelings are requited and he pulls her strings to get her to do what he needs so that his centuries of living will have paid off. And deep deep down the man he used to be yearns to have built something real with her, to have companionship who won’t die in the blink of an eye, someone who understands this Otherness he experiences, an equal. If only the man he’d become could stand to let go of the reins in any relationship for more than like. Thirty seconds. Lol

⚠️TW!: sexual abuse and sexual assault! mentioned at some point��️

Yup. You get it, anon!

My favorite interpretation of him is as a man who WANTS that companionship and love but he’s been burned so many times before, falling in love with people he outlived due to war and his slower aging. So he can’t allow himself to be hurt like that again.

I completely agree to all of this!

What antis seem unable to understand is that the Darkling is human most of all. Not a villain, not a hero, not a Grisha but a human being with human emotions and needs. In fact, I find him the most human character in the Grisha trilogy. We all want love and companionship. None of us likes the feeling of loneliness (it's one thing to want to be alone and another to be lonely) and the Darkling is no different in this aspect. He wants to love and be loved. He wants someone to keep him company forever, to not abandon him because of betrayal, death, age or mortality. He doesn't want to be alone. For centuries he suffered from it and was desperate to find someone to fill this void. Alina was this person. She ticked (most of) the boxes for him.

(just a small pause to say that we can also see evidence of his desire to feel and live human things in RoW:

(He might considered otkazat'sya beneath him, but the feeling of humanity was something surprisingly pleasant for him. And he seeked Alina out to feel this way again. Even though he denied it:)

(A part of him wanted something simple. Peace and calm and a girl that loved him and he loved her at his side.)

If I could describe the Darkling's need for someone to join him and be with him, for Alina to come to him and love him, I would use this passage from the book "City of Heavenly Fire":

“Imagine if you were the last Shadowhunter left on earth (in this case let's use the term "the last Grisha of your kind"), imagine if all your family and friends were dead, imagine if there were no one left who even believed in what you were. Imagine if you were on the earth in a billion, billion years, after the sun had scorched away all the life, and you were crying out from inside yourself for just one single living creature to still draw breath alongside you, but there was nothing, only rivers of fire and ashes. Imagine being that lonely. And then imagine there was only one way to fix it. Then imagine what you would do to make that thing happen.”

THIS is how I imagine the Darkling's desperation to gain Alina. His last hope for love and companionship.

He has been hurt hundreds of times in the past. The lovers he had, the people he fell in love were dying in front of his eyes from their mortality. Others couldn't understand his powers, couldn't fathom him as a person (because I bet almost all, if not all, his lovers were otkazat'sya). So at some point, he just gave up. Gave up on love and stopped having relationships. He wouldn't be hurt again, he wouldn't allow it.

Deep inside his little black heart he would love to be equals with Alina but unfortunately years of trauma and pain have left him entirely unable to exist in a relationship that doesn’t have a power imbalance in his favor. He doesn’t know how to let go of his want for power even in his relationships anymore.

"his little black heart" that sounded so cute 🥺🫶😭

And, yes, I agree that deep inside (veeery deeply though) he wanted to be equals with Alina because on one hand it seemed right to him, logically and strategically (she had the power of light, he had the power of darkness. They were both immortal and she had a strong spirit). But years had already passed where he had the control in all things. Okay, not all. He couldn't stop Kings and Queens from making stupid or unspeakable things (and yes I'm alluding Genya's sexual assault from the King here). But he had a habit that he couldn't break. "Old habits die hard" fits here. He couldn't put aside his need for domination and just say "Yeah sure do whatever you want in this relationship, Alina! Peace and love!🥰✌️". No, he would still want to have the upper hand in their relationship and their rule.

And now that he needs Alina for his Grand Schemes, well he definitely can’t fall in love with her without potentially fucking up his plan, right? He needs her to do many very specific things and he can’t be blinded by Real Emotion that might make him change his mind so instead he keeps her at arms length while making her THINK her feelings are requited and he pulls her strings to get her to do what he needs so that his centuries of living will have paid off.

Yup. He didn't want to fall in love with her. Just to manipulate her. But the problem is that we don't choose when to fall in love and who. It just happens. And that fucked him up emotionally.

1) Because he hadn't felt that emotion in years.

2) Because it wasn't part of his plans, just like you said.

He literally panicked and didn't know what to do and he certainly didn't know how to express it in a healthy manner.

Alina's constant rejection and rebellion against him (+ her love for Mal and her choosing only him) made him go feral and do impulsive things. Made him fuck up his well-thought-out plans. So, in the end, he really is a person that sometimes let his emotions rule his mind unwillingly.

About him making her think that her emotions are requited, it's a complicated matter. In R&R he confirmed that he seduced her (if you call that seduction) as part of his manipulation.

But I think he also played himself back then at S&B. He tried to appease her worries at that time and in S&B it seemed genuine. Honestly, for me, it still does. But, according to him (and Bardugo) he did it to feel more bound to him, more loyal.

BUT! I think that in the meantime he played himself and caught feelings.

Like "He he I'm gonna make her feel good for herself 😈......shit.....now I feel something for her. FUCK!!"

But he would never admit that to Alina. Not in a verbal way anyway. Because when he gave her his name it was a type of love confession (GIVING HER HIS HEART, HELLO??).

I kinda agree that he wanted to make her feel that her feelings were requited but he also must have been like "but let's not tell her that I also caught feelings👀👀".

He wanted to fulfill his plans, yes. But he also fell in love with her in the process and everything went DOWNHILL FOR HIM.

And deep deep down the man he used to be yearns to have built something real with her, to have companionship who won’t die in the blink of an eye, someone who understands this Otherness he experiences, an equal. If only the man he’d become could stand to let go of the reins in any relationship for more than like. Thirty seconds. Lol

Hard agree to all of this too.

Just like I said, he didn't know how to live a life without controlling it and everyone in it.

#personally i find the Darkling more controlling than manipulative #he sucks at manipulating people #but controlling? Boy yes. He hates feeling that he doesn't have the control in any situation. Like a fish out of water #I also don't understand how some people shy away from the perception of the Darkling craving love and company #it's NORMAL. He's human. everyone wants love (unless you're Voldemort or something)#anon asks #the darkling #pro darkling #aleksander morozova #pro aleksander morozova #darklina #pro darklina #alina starkov #alarkling #pro alarkling #grishaverse #grishaverse trilogy #shadow and bone

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prgnant · 3 months ago

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1999 Drum & Bass

[Part 5 of a five part series where I’ll go chronologically thru every full-length single-artist dnb LP from 95-99 that I can find. Only including records where a majority of tracks are basically within the genre and new material. No remix albums, No VA compilations, No trip hop records with one dnb track, etc.]

At the end of the millenium, we get a variety of dnb releases from jazz to jump-up that will largely define the genre’s crystallization in the 2000’s. Longtime scene contributors Ray Keith, Peshay, Technical Itch, and Source Direct put out their first full-length collections. Vocal tunes seem to be en vogue, most notably with Saul Williams performing on Krust’s masterpiece Coded Language. A trio of Andy C, Ant Miles, and Shimon bring the heat on Molten Beats, the first Ram Records release. Big Bud melds hard 2 step beats with deep atmospheres on the popular Infinity + Infinity. Guardians of Dalliance and Alpha Omega both write tunes in 5/4. Fallen Angels and XRS Land provide early examples of the liquid funk sound, with XRS drawing heavily from samba and Brazilian jazz. From every corner of the dancefloor the tension builds toward the ultimate drop: y2k.

personal favorite: Krust - Coded Language

underrated/lesser known pick: XRS Land - Sarau

one standout track: G-Force & Seiji - Sex In Space

full list with links under the cut

Ray Keith - Contact

Lemongrass - Lumiere Obscure

Current Value - Seeds Of Mutation

Source Direct- Exorcise The Demons

Aquasky - Bodyshock

James Hardway - Positive Sweat

Technical Itch - Diagnostics

Smokey Joe - Incorporated

Peshay - Miles From Home

Sonar Circle - Radius

Polar - 37 C & Falling

Breakbeat Era - Ultra Obscene

Omni Trio - Byte Size Life

G-force & Seiji - Just Another Number

Foul Play Productions - Field of Action

Big Bud - Infinity + Infinity

Alpha Omega - Journey to the 9th Level

Guardians of Dalliance - Diffusion Rooms

Krust - Coded Language

Ram Trilogy - Molten Beats

Fallen Angels - Part One

XRS Land - Sarau

#last one! imagine if I put this kind of effort into something practical lol #lists #drum n bass #dnb 95 99

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evapillar · 4 months ago

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I read the entire Cosmere so you don’t have to!

Curious about Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere books but not sure where to start? Read one series and looking for more? Want to know what’s skippable? Here’s a handy subjective guide!

Good starting points

Warbreaker

This is a fun, self-contained fantasy novel with some classic Sanderson twists! Zero prior knowledge required. This is one of the only Cosmere novels that tells a complete story, and it’s a normal length. No caveats.

The Final Empire/Mistborn Era 1

This was my starting point! It’s a fun read but was his second published novel and it kind of shows. I LOVED the first Mistborn book (and the rest of the trilogy), but when I was halfway through I did describe it as “a pile of intricate world-building with a heist stapled on top.” I turned out to be very wrong but if that sounds like something you wouldn’t have patience for, then start someplace else. (Also the audiobook reader is normally great but a poor match for the characters.)

The Emperor’s Soul

Please please please read this novella. Even if you have no interest in Brandon Sanderson or fantasy in general. This is maybe the most brilliant single book in the cosmere. It fully deserved the Hugo Award it won. The magic system is simple yet original. It is a beautiful meditation on the concept of identity, how we are shaped by our pasts, and what it means to be human. 80% of the story takes place in one room. The Emperor's Soul and the epilogue of Rhythm of War are the only things in the cosmere that made me cry.

The Way of Kings

This is the first book of the Stormlight Archive so I put it in this section but uhhhhhh only start here if you have a high tolerance for lengthy hard fantasy epics. I adore Stormlight but holy smokes does Way of Kings start off slow! The first six chapters contain three time jumps and six different perspective characters. I might not have gotten through it if I hadn’t gotten sick right after checking it out of the library.

I read something and liked it, now what?

The Stormlight Archive

This series of door stoppers has, for my money, the best characters and best world building in the cosmere! Also some really cool depictions of mental health struggles. Currently four books + two interstitial novellas, with the fifth and final book coming out this December. The Stormlight Archive is a great choice for people who don’t like deciding what to read next. If you started with Warbreaker this is the natural place to go because a bunch of Warbreaker characters make cameos in the later books. (Also the audiobooks are FANTASTIC!!!)

Tress of the Emerald Sea

An extremely fun, stand-alone romp! I almost put this on the starter list but it’s not representative, kind of spoilery, and also I truly don’t know what it would be like to read it without knowing who Wit is. This is Wit telling a story written for the prompt “what if Buttercup ran off to save Westley from the Dread Pirate Roberts” and it’s as fun as that sounds! (One of my all-time favorite audiobook experiences)

Mistborn Era 1

In case you didn’t start there! It’s great! (See above)

GIVE ME THE LORE!!

Mistborn: Secret History

There is an ongoing fandom argument about when to read this. I personally think you can read it any time after Mistborn Era 1, preferably before The Lost Metal. I stopped reading Era 2 while I tracked down a copy because I was so so confused after The Bands of Mourning.

Everything else in Arcanum Unbounded

Arcanum Unbounded is a collection of short stories from across the Cosmere, with prefaces that contain info about each planetary system. Several of the other stories I’ve mentioned are in here, but there’s a whole lot else. A big ol’ tasty pile of lore!

Mistborn Era 2

Okay, confession: I didn’t really like these much. The characters just didn’t connect for me, and one in particular, who happens to be the author’s favorite, I utterly despise. That being said, you’ve got cool fights, magical industrialization, characters from era 1 being worshipped as gods centuries later, and SO much lore. I know other people liked these but not my cup of tea. Obviously must be read after Mistborn Era 1.

The Sunlit Man

I…think this is a sequel to a book that doesn’t exist yet?? It was really cool in its own right and also brought together a ton of lore. Do not read before Stormlight!

Things you can skip

White Sands vols 1-3

This is a comic book adapted from one of Sanderson’s early unpublished novels. The art is dreadful and the writing isn’t much better. Almost no connections to the larger cosmere.

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter

This is the weakest of the Kickstarter books IMO. It just has some major structural problems, the biggest of which is that Wit is narrating for no discernible reason. He spends the whole book disrupting the narrative to complain that he’s been turned into a hatstand.

Elantris

Sanderson’s first published novel and it shows. I have really complicated feelings about Elantris. I think if I had read it as a teenager it would have merged with my soul and become a pillar of my personality, but it doesn’t suit the person I am now. There is a lot of cool stuff in this book! It’s a really impressive first novel! And the naive, Strong Female Protagonist feminism would be forgivable if not for a more specific issue. I was teetering on the edge of disordered eating when I picked up Elantris, and unfortunately this book has a major theme equating eating more than the bare minimum necessary for survival with immorality and subhuman behavior. If you struggle with food or body image do not touch this book with a ten foot pole!!! If you don’t, go ahead, it’s otherwise a perfectly fine book.

#I managed to read the whole thing in under six months!#cosmere reading order #feel free to argue with me #cosmere #brandon sanderson

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lumi-klovstad-games · 1 year ago

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Hey, 343. We call "expanded universes" that for a reason.

It also hurt for those of us who actually LIKED Fireteam Osiris and saw potential in the characters. Halo 5 sets up a neat "Brothers in Arms" relationship between Chief and Locke like Chief had with Arbiter in 3, maybe even a little bit of Master & Apprentice, with Locke standing to learn a lot in the days and battles to come from the much older and more experienced Master Chief. But then the next game comes and... wait where is everyone? 343 wants me to buy more books?! A lot of fans already had to buy half a library's worth just to grock Halo 5, and here's 343 repeating that mistake again!

The Halo games really have just become a means by which 343 plugs the Halo novels. "There's a book that explains that" is the constant refrain I hear these days. No. I WANT THE GAMES TO EXPLAIN IT. The games are the only thing literally EVERY Halo fan buys. EXPLAIN IT IN THE GAMES.

I will give the audio logs in Infinite SOME credit for answering SOME questions I had, but mostly it was used to introduce irrelevant subplots that actually WOULD be better as a novel. Escharum doing his damnedest to keep the ragtag and ill-fitting family that are the Banished together with the disappearance of his protege Atriox, a warrior who was like a son to him, knowing full well he doesn't have Atriox's charisma and he can't maintain the cult of personality Atriox cultivated at the core of the Banished in the same way? Or a fireteam of Spartans, feeling lost and surviving without any real support, realizing that they'll likely die one way or another, deciding to risk it all on a single desperate all-or-nothing Hail Mary attempt at cutting the head off the snake, only to fail, with their only monument being their broken bodies, and their armor that Chief has to scavenge for gear with little if any knowledge of what happened to his comrades? These are plots TAILOR MADE for a spin-off novel. But instead a HUGE CHUNK of the total audio logs gets devoted to this kind of stuff, instead of explaining where Blue and Osiris are, if they survived, and setting up a reunion in a later story — you know, something actually relevant to Master Chief's story that connects with the plot players are already familiar with.

I get that 343 wants the Halo Universe to feel like this big connected thing while keeping the "mysterious" feel of the original trilogy, but for 343 that takes the form of locking players out of the loop: deny the players critical information necessary to understanding characters or the plot (even if the players can operate without that information) and then demand they cough up $8-15 a pop to gain access to that information (or just wait until Halopedia editors inevitably do). What they keep forgetting is that the original trilogy told players everything they needed to know as the game naturally progressed. The Bungie novels were interesting and sundry, but nothing they related was essential — not even The Fall of Reach (often considered the most important book in the expanded universe) was necessary to understand anything in the games proper. And then, when Bungie actually made a GAME about Reach, they made a point to showcase a separate cast of characters on a different part of the planet, playing a different role in the battle, with an entirely different team dynamic, all for the express purpose of keeping it so that the book wasn't essential to understanding what was going on. That's the secret that 343 just doesn't get: keep the books interesting, but keep them at arm's length — the GAME should tell the players everything they need to know.

More than game mechanics or graphics, if 343 can learn to tell stories in the games the way Bungie did, and learn to keep the books away from the games, then that alone will MASSIVELY improve Halo's appeal and bring back much of what was lost.

#video games #halo #halo infinite #343 industries #halo 5 #halo 4 #halo reach #the fall of reach #master chief #spartan locke #Bungie #expanded universe #blue team #fireteam osiris #the arbiter #microsoft game studios

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letmelickyoureyeballs · 7 months ago

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Beta Reader About Me

This is going to be a more in-depth post about me as a beta reader, which will be linked in my pinned post.

First off, hello call me Shark or Spruce! I'm 19 and go by he/they pronouns. I am open to beta reading for people, whether that's stuff on here or AO3.

What I'm willing to do:

Grammer/Capitalization/Punctuation

Cheer reading(pointing out what you did well and what I'm excited to see)

Identify plot inconstancies/where something needs to be clarified

Help with canon/characterization(if I know what/who it is)

American/Midwest information and more specifically Wisconsin information

Pretty much anything else you wish me to help with

*Depending on the fandom and length of fics, some of these will differ in doability*

I am generally ok with any kind of content that you write, but I do have some fic turn-offs. *Note that not everything on this list means I won't beta read for you, but I would like more info/details around them if they are in your fic to see if I'm still comfortable helping*

Mpreg/Anything pregnancy-related

Kid fics(when the main pairing has a kid, not kid-focused fics)

Really dark stories with no happy endings(depends on the story, but I'd prefer a happy/fulfilling ending)

Major Character death

Anything that is meant to hate a certain group/subgroup of people

Really long fics over 100k words

Some things that I am comfortable reading. *Not a comprehensive list*

Omegaverse

Reader Insert

G-E rated fics

Original characters

Canonverse

Alternate Universe

Gore and violence

Potentially triggering topics

I will again read pretty much any fandom you write for including original works, but here are some fandoms that I would be able to help more in-depth with:

The Witcher(Show, Third game, All the books), The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Halo(Game series), Marvel, Venom, Star Wars/The Mandalorian, Transformers, Call of Duty, How to Train Your Dragon(Iffy on third movie), Spider-Man/Deadpool(Spideypool), Percy Jackson/The Heroes of Olympus, The Hunger Games, The Divergent Series, Maze Runner, Narnia(Movies only, I don't know anything in the books), Pride and Prejudice/Emma, Disney/Pixar movies, The 100, NBC Hannibal, Rise of the Guardians, Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, Beastars, Titanfall 2, Red Dead Redemption 2, Baldurs Gate 3, Divinity Original Sin 2, Hazbin Hotel, Critical Role(I've only watched Campaign 1 and 3, and the TV show), Once Upon a Time, Anne with an E, Harry Potter, Six of Crows, Twilight, Star Trek, The Conjuring series, Descendants/High school Musical, Guardians of the Galaxy, Oceans Trilogy, Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man, Top Gun, Stranger Things, Fast and Furious, Moon Knight, Bridgerton(Show only)

I will read WIPs/completed works, multi/single chapter works, original works, and anything in between.

If you are interested or have any questions you may DM me. If you do, please provide whether I would be helping with a WIP or completed work, and whether there are any deadlines I need to be aware of. Please also include any warnings I should know about, and what you would want me to help with. I would also prefer to work on Google Docs if possible.

*Even if you are not interested, please reblog for others to see*

Edited July 18, 2024

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lorata · 1 year ago

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Twenty Questions: Fic Author Edition

tagged by @bodyelectric77 :)

1-How many works do you have on ao3?

111, lol

2-What's your total AO3 word count?

1,389,833 on AO3 officially

3-What fandoms do you write for?

Hunger Games by a wide margin, and then if I get rid of the one-offs here are the fandoms I've written for at least twice:

Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins (75)

Temeraire - Naomi Novik (6)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (4)

Wynonna Earp (TV) (3)

Dragon Age (Video Games) (2)

King Lear - Shakespeare (2)

Wonder Woman (Movies - Jenkins) (2)

The Deed of Paksenarrion - Elizabeth Moon (2)

Star Wars Original Trilogy (2)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (2)

4-What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Slow Work (Steve/Bucky)

you can take the boy out of the desert (Luke Skywalker post-ANH)

Patience, Friend (Temeraire, Volly's hatching)

Embrace the Fire: The Avenger Games

welcome to your gory bed (Hunger Games, victor backstories)

5-Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really, really want to, because comments make me SO SO SO happy, and I occasionally have some wonderful people who go through and comment on every single thing I've written which is the DREAM -- but I don't always have the mental bandwidth to do it. So let me just say right now that if you've ever left a comment I have read it, and I loved it, and you made my day better.

6-What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhh .... there are a lot. People can cast their votes on this one, but I'd say maybe Ambrosia or Don't Flinch?

7-What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I had to leave THG for this one, lol. But I think Impossible Magic, which is a fix-it for the Enchanted Forest Chronicles that solves something that bugged me about a series I otherwise adore.

8-Do you get hate on fics?

the real ones will remember, lol. I had one specific reader who would leave, like, novel-length comments on every single chapter of every single fic about everything he hated / disagreed with. My favourite was the list of my D2 victors in order of who he hoped would get killed off from most to least (Petra was at the top and Emory was at the bottom SORRY MAN). I honestly don't know why he was still reading if everything annoyed him so much, lmao.

If ever I get a mean anon I delete it though. You won't catch me responding to anon hate.

9-Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Not....... really. I write sex in very specific situations but it's usually to serve a purpose and I'm kind of ... vague about it, even when I think I'm being explicit (for me). I'm sure people could pick out sex written by me pretty easily. It's not exactly fade to black because that implies skipping to later, this is more like ... elisions, I guess.

10-Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Very famously, yes. I'm not sure what I'd consider the weirdest one. Temeraire / THG victors as dragons? Watership Down / THG rabbits?

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Fanfic, no, I don't think so, but I have had original stories stolen and put up on Amazon. It's the reason I took down my FictionPress account and have all my original things locked on LJ / DW.

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have!

Я хочу увидеть тебя храброй | I wanna see you be brave

【授权翻译】Don't Flinch/无所畏惧 | Don't Flinch.

13-Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes, several! My usual co-conspirators are azelmaroark, @kawuli, @penfoldx and @xanify

14-What's your all-time favorite ship?

96 out of my 111 fics on AO3 are gen, so that should give you my answer on that one, lol.

15-What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Never say never???? But sadly, probably the Portal/Emory's Games crossover if only because all the notes on the super complicated Arena were on a computer that died and I don't remember anything

16-What are your writing strengths?

Character and feelings, babeyyyyy. Also my hallmark is making people care (or at least think) about characters they absolutely despised before

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot is hard. Every time I think I've done something complicated I'll read a book by someone with an actual intricate plot and need to lie down for 500 hours

18-Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Nah. Generally I use dialogue tags to tell the reader what language is being spoken

19-First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars, when I was 12, though it was just me and my bff. Dragon Ball Z was the first time I actually realized fandom was a Thing

20-Favorite fic you've ever written?

I will always have a soft spot for Fixed to a Star, I think

tagging whoever wants to play -- I've been offline for a while so i don't know who's done it!

#meme

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softstraykidshours · 2 years ago

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stray kids fic-mas: day 12

pairing: ot8 stray kids x gn!reader

genre: fluff, headcanon

summary: watching christmas movies with stray kids

length: 750

warnings: slight food mention, christmas mention, low key hallmark movie slander i am so sorry

a/n: this piece was requested by a lovely anon. watching christmas movies with skz sounds so so so so so so so fun, it would be a blast! thanks for cute idea, anon! we hope you enjoy!

ficmas 2022 masterlist

chan

he is just so happy that he gets to spend time with you that he’ll watch whatever you want. any time spent with you is time well spent, so he couldn’t care less what’s on the screen. he’s spending literally the entire time cuddling you while wrapped in the coziest, fuzzy blanket he can find. you spend half the movie saying he’s smothering you, but that's your problem because if you didn’t want to be suffocated by his love, then you shouldn’t have suggested watching a festive movie with your lovey dovey boyfriend.

minho

he has very strong opinions on whatever holiday movie you suggest and will probably argue about why literally any movie you bring up isn’t as good as elf. it is the best movie in his opinion and he will fight anyone (hyunjin) who disagrees. the only exception to this rule is if you say that nightmare before christmas is your favorite movie, in which case he will give you a pass (but you will still be forced to watch elf with him). every year he has an elf watch party with soonie, doongie, and dori and it takes years of fighting (and a bribe to bring elf hats for the cats) before he allows you to join.

changbin

he is a big fan of old timey christmas movies. but specifically the cartoon ones. he loves frosty the snowman and rudolph so so much. he literally has the entire soundtrack for both memorized and will be singing them nonstop for the entirety of the holiday season. he thinks a charlie brown christmas is the funniest movie ever because of the way the teacher talks. he also has a secret soft spot for nightmare before christmas (but don’t let minho know because it’s changbin’s guilty pleasure).

hyunjin

he refuses to watch anything but the classics. he’s exclusively watching films like holiday inn, miracle on 34th st, it’s a wonderful life, white christmas, etc. basically if it was made in this century, he doesn’t even acknowledge it as a movie, much less one that he would watch. it could literally be a holiday cinematic masterpiece, but if it doesn’t fall under the umbrella of what hyunjin considers to be a classic, then he won’t even consider watching it. (when hyunjin catches you watching hallmarks with felix it low key causes a fight.)

jisung

he absolutely loves the santa clause movies, but he basically only watches santa clause 3 because it’s the worst but he thinks its the best. no matter how many times you ask to watch something else, he always goes on and on about the santa clause until you eventually concede and watch some part (if not the entirety) of the trilogy. the best part of the holiday season this year for him was when he heard about the new disney+ santa clause show.

felix

he’s watching hallmark movies basically every single day of the holiday season. for some reason (that you will never understand), he somehow actually enjoys them and finds entertainment value in their cinematic choices. no matter how many times they repeat the same story with the same exact actors, he is always so endeared. even when you try to make fun of them, he always ends up finding a way to turn your insults into compliments. you still watch them with him, though, because you love how much he loves them.

seungmin

just like felix, he is also watching almost exclusively hallmark movies during the holidays. but not because he thinks they are good. it’s for quite the opposite reason. he loves making fun of every last little thing about the movies. like "wait, i thought this woman was a business woman not a starving artist?" or "when is the town christmas festival gonna go into ruin?" or "how will the marginally (not) attractive leads fix it?". you’ve never had more fun in your life than when you’re making fun of hallmark movies with seungmin.

jeongin

he loves absolutely everything about the holiday season, so when you mention movies, he is so down. he has already watched and will re-watch basically every christmas movie ever made. it is a whole event for him. he will have cocoa and cookies and themed snacks ready in less than fifteen minutes if you mention you want to watch movies with him. you will also never watch just one. the second the first one finishes, he already has a recommendation of what you should watch next.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #bang chan imagines #lee know imagines #changbin imagines #hyunjin imagines #han jisung imagines #felix imagines #seungmin imagines #jeongin imagines #stray kids #stray kids ficmas 2022 #stray kids headcanons #headcanons #mine #soft stray kids hours #q: painting with hyunjin

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game-boy-pocket · 1 year ago

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Today I played "The Legend of Super Mario" a hack of the original Legend of Zelda by NesDraug, who is quickly becoming one of my fave NES hackers, he also made that wonderful Ninja Turtles themed Mario hack I posted about a few weeks back.

Unlike that game though, this is a full length Zelda adventure, but it's themed after Super Mario Bros, mostly the NES Trilogy, the only thing I can recall that didn't appear on the NES, was the super feather, which acts as Mario's defense upgrades in this game. Even the music in this game is Mario themed, but with a bit of a Zelda flow to it. And this really goes a long way with rom hacks, it's selling the illusion that you're playing something resembling an official NES game.

I am not sure if this says more about my Zelda skills or more about this games balance, but I didn't die once when playing, I have been known to successfully complete no death runs in Zelda 1 multple times, but I feel like health drops were plentiful, I didn't even use the one potion I found. There's also more heart containers than you actually need in the game.

Knoweldge of Zelda 1 did help me quite a bit, but I did need to look up how to get to one dungeon. I don't know if the game clued me in to it's location, or if I was meant to intuit it, I don't know that I would have found it myself without looking it up, as it's a very "trial and error" kind of thing.

I've played several Zelda romhacks, but rarely do I finish the full conversions. Just Outlands, Legend of Banjo, and one or two randomizers, the rest have been QOL hacks. So, the fact that I could finish this in one single day and didn't feel like I needed to take a break after a bit of progress really speaks highly of this hack. I would recommend old school Zelda fans who also love Mario to check this out. It's very much worth your time.

#pocket plays #romhacks #NES #nintendo #the legend of zelda #super mario #super mario bros.#NesDraug #romhack #video games #retro gaming

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aj-lenoire · 1 year ago

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just my two cents, because i genuinely enjoy discussing this sort of thing, but i don’t think it’s quite accurate to say, in ballad of songbirds and snakes, that snow was a horrible monster the entire way through—but i don’t think ‘the story of about him him choosing between good and evil and ultimately choosing evil’ is really accurate either

from the very start of the book it’s made very clear that snow thinks the capitol are just plain better than the districts, in every way. he might not be able to afford food, but he’s capitol, so he’s better. the rebels were selfish lunatics and the districts are so savage that the only way to end the war is not to end it, but control it. with the games.

now aj, you might say, that’s just because of the propaganda he was fed, well that’s until we meet sejanus. snow is given an alternative point of view, and he dismisses it because sejanus is stupid, because he’s district, of course he sympathises with those animals. of course he thinks the games are wrong. when sejanus says humans are supposed to protect their children, snow just thinks about how no one protected him, never mind the lengths tigress went to help him, never mind how this is a direct contrast to katniss, who was similarly alone and had to fend for her family near-single-handedly, but she never stopped trying to protect prim.

snow’s main focus throughout the games is lucy gray, obviously, but he is always primarily focussed on making her look good so he will look good. he never really thinks of the other tributes, and the one time he tries to imagine himself in their situation, he “snaps himself out of it” be reminding himself that this is what sajanus is probably doing. he never even really ruminates on how lucy gray, a person he supposedly cares about, will likely die, until she’s in the arena. for most of it he’s just trying to get her to make him look as good as possible with the time she has before the games.

the handful of moments we get of snow where he hasn’t got any of his pretences include when the bombs go off in the arena and when he ruminates on having swan flu as a kid. here, he’s put into stark contrast with katniss more than ever. katniss, who was also a child who grew up functionally an orphan, fended for herself and her family. she went out into the woods to hunt, risking execution. snow, meanwhile, never thought of anyone but himself. tigress brought him home when he had the flu, even though she had it too, and lucy gray saved him in the area, even though she too had grown up in the war and been orphaned by it.

snow only ever thinks of himself, of his family’s name and status and what that means for him. he briefly talks with tigress and she tells him not to look down on those who have to do distasteful things to survive, alluding to the possibility that she sold her body to get food—something katniss admits she would have probably done to feed her family, had she not learned to hunt. she pities the young women who clamoured at thread’s back door, not judges them. snow judges, and in the trilogy we also learn that he abandons tigress eventually—presumably when she was no longer something he could control.

snow has the opportunity, in sejanus, in going to 12, to live among the districts and see them as people, but he never really does. sejanus continues to annoy him, and at every turn, he wants to try and get back, to the point that he betrays sajanus and ends up getting him killed. his brief guilt about the jabberjay is one of the only moments he is shown to care about anyone but himself, but he tells himself nothing will come of it and then he immediately turns to thinking about ‘the chink in the capitol’s armour’ and the chaos that might spread as a result of the rebel plan sejanus has joined.

at the end, when he decides to run away with lucy gray, the moment he realises he can return home consequence free and resume his capitol life, he takes it. he hunts lucy gray like an animal, thinking of how the mockingjays are ‘genes gone bad’. where lucy gray loves them, snow only likes the jabberjays—strictly controlled capitol servants that he understands the use of, not the mockingjays, which are something the capitol made by accident.

the book might seem like snow is being made to choose between good and bad, and maybe in a way, snow thinks that himself, but it’s obvious from the very start—and not just because this is a prequel—that he was only ever going to pick control, pick the capitol, pick himself. such is his conviction that he resolves not to marry someone he actually loves, because he won’t allow himself to be manipulated by it again; it all comes back to control, and he wants to be the one with the power

he doesn’t start off evil, and maybe he doesn’t end evil, but the story is a detailed treatise on how focussing only on yourself, being so self-centred, will lead you to cast aside even those you claim to love the most, to believe anything and everything (and anyone) should be sacrificed in the name of improving your own situation.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #aj abstractions

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dvar-trek · 10 months ago

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Romance Roundup: Part 1

this summer, after succumbing to my knitting injuries, i fell into a romance novel rabbit-hole. they are like candy for me. they're low-effort, fun, a quick source of joy, and keep me from endlessly scrolling jpost for israel news. also i can usually finish one in a day or two. so all in all, i ended up reading a total of 90 romance/kissing books.

the stats:

84 queer

13 novella-length

4 that i really feel i gave a fair shot but didn't finish

the top 7 (in no particular order):

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland- a fantasy book wherein the prince and his sworn bodyguard fall in love. some light (as in dangerous but not overly complex) political intrigue. plenty of world-building, but the author doesn't ever bore you with explanations you don't want. the writing is a little clumsy at times, but in spite of myself i found this book and the characters so utterly charming.

Enlightenment Trilogy (Provoked, Beguiled, and Enlightened) by Joanna Chambers- takes place in regency-late georgian scotland. two men who are dedicated to their respectable (but very different) lives. in order to keep what's important to them, they each plan to go through life just having anonymous, one-off encounters with other men, and needless to say, they upend that for one another. features radical politics, arguments about what matters in life, george iv's visit to scotland, and confronting your past. i thought about this extensively, but i simply do not think i can describe the plot in a way that will be helpful. you are just going to have to trust me. a linked short story and bonus-epilogue-novella are also availble on the author's website.

10 Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall- man sort of accidentally fakes amnesia to keep his asshole boss from firing everyone. only they end up sort of falling for each other for real. modern setting, funny and sad, and the kind of slow-burn romance that makes your chest hurt. it does take place over christmas, but not in a fluffy, christmassy way. like, even i, America's Number One Christmas Hater, who would never have touched it had i known about the christmas element going in, found it to be completely tolerable amount of christmas, and a thoroughly enjoyable book. i read everything on my top 7 list multiple times, but this is one that really rewards your second read-through.

Captive Prince Trilogy (Captive Prince, Prince's Gambit, and Kings Rising) by C.S. Pacat- fantasy setting wherein a prince is kidnapped and enslaved in an enemy realm, and eventually has to ally with his cruel captor in order to save his own kingdom. plenty of political maneuvering, military skirmishes, court intrigue, and secret night mission shenanigans (with disguises). another chest-aching slow burn that rewards multiple read-throughs. there's also a linked short story collection, The Summer Palace, which includes a bonus epilogue.

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues (book 2 in Lucky Lovers of London) by Jess Everlee- victorian-era romance, featuring drag, lifelong best friends, and some of the best (hottest) sex scenes on this list. the proprietor of an underground gentlemen's club for queer men fights to keep his club open and his people safe, both from the law and from the volatile aristocrat who owns the place. he also definitely doesn't have feelings for his best friend. anymore. probably.

England World (Think of England, and prequel Proper English) by KJ Charles- two excellent books; one a houseparty/treason investigation and one a houseparty turned murder mystery. as everyone knows, it's extremely dangerous to attend a houseparty while single, because you will fall hopelessly in love, but you will also be in mortal peril. i am. too fucking feral about these characters to say anything useful. i am completely aware that this does nothing to help my case, but i cannot help it. i am unable to be normal about them, even in the effort to convince people to read these books. also please note that even though the covers are. quite bad. the writing is excellent and well-researched. also also, there's a bonus epilogue on the author's website, featuring additional sex, good jokes, and bad poetry.

An Unnatural Vice (book 2 in Sins of the City) by KJ Charles- the whole trilogy is worth reading (in order!) but this is definitely the strongest of the 3, and i found it to be the most compelling of the romances. a victorian-era mystery/suspense series, featuring an inheritance plot, murders in the fog, and fake séances. a "spiritualist" who defrauds the wealthy and the investigative jouranlist determined to expose his tricks find themselves hate-fucking, running from murderers, arguing about class politics, and both saving and upending each others' lives.

honorable mention:

Sailor's Delight by Rose Lerner- #1 brain-rewiring book of the year. 1813 sailing master in the british royal navy and his naval agent fall in love. the book takes place over 1 week of shore leave (which coincides with the high holy days), although they have known each other (and known that they can never be together) for almost a decade. uh. listen. this book is both fun and well-researched, but it is not, like, Good™. there is a shirtless man on the cover and there's not even any fucking in the book. the main characters are named Elie and Augie which is completely unsexy. BUT. they changed my brain chemistry and i've plotted out their entire lives in my head from the moment they met and i'm fucking feral about them.

romance roundup part 2

#wip wednesday #or rather #in lieu of having had any wips wednesday in the last 6 months.#the full list of books is breaking the tumblr post editor #so we'll start with this.#i've read 90 romance novels since july ama 😌#romance roundup

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tonydaddingham · 1 year ago

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LWA: That conspiracist "magic trick" document is...that's why I rarely interact with fandom spaces. S2 does indeed have a bunch of problems, a lot of which have to do with the material conditions of production and some of which are endemic to the source material. S1 was not a well-plotted or well-paced show, because the /novel/ is not well-plotted or well-paced. S2 didn't have enough material to justify six episodes, and only the Job minisode justified its length in terms of either character's characterization. Etc. Both seasons are flawed scripts saved by the leads.

The other problem here is that Gaiman has transformed a single season into a trilogy, and if there are going to be narrative payoffs we don't see them yet; it's as if PRIDE AND PREJUDICE ended with Lizzie Bennet rejecting Darcy's first proposal (which is, after all, what we got, except that Aziraphale and Crowley are both Darcy and Lizzie simultaneously). In an incomplete trilogy, there just isn't sufficient evidence to understand whether the author has missed a trick or if they're setting up a third-act resolution. For example, take Crowley's proposal, which insists that he and Aziraphale have spent their "existence" denying that they're a team. I know everyone got hung up on Tennant's intense delivery, which is great, but Crowley's narrative of their friendship in S1 ("How long have we been friends? Six thousand years!") doesn't track with anything dramatized for us on the screen, and neither does this. Is this another "Crowley is an unreliable narrator" problem, as Gaiman has confirmed he is about the Fall, retroactively constructing an emotional bond that neither character felt? OK, if so, what's the underlying narrative argument motivating this behavior? Or do Gaiman and Finnemore think that that's what the series is actually dramatizing?

Here's what I mean. In S1, there's nothing to indicate (in the script, the actors' performances, or even the score) that they have a genuine, mutual emotional connection until 1601, some centuries post-Arrangement, which is the first time that Aziraphale expresses concern for Crowley's safety and also the first time we see him successfully break out the puppy eyes. (Post S2, it's now "expresses concern for Crowley's safety as a demon.") Before that, they have unequal and fleeting moments of connection: Aziraphale is more interested in Crowley during Creation than vice-versa. Crowley is charmed by Aziraphale in Eden and pleased to see him again at the Flood, but he is guarded or hostile when they meet at the Crucifixion and again in Rome. S2 now adds that he isn't all that excited to see Aziraphale again during Job, either, although Aziraphale comes across as quite chipper about the run-in. Aziraphale is equally guarded at the Crucifixion, excited to see Crowley in Rome, and then mildly annoyed about running into him during the Arthurian period (and it's apparently still canon that the Arrangement won't begin until a few centuries later). In 1793, they've become attached enough that they've started the damsel-in-distress game, and in 1827 Crowley invites Aziraphale to Edinburgh for fun, suggesting that they are now actual friends and not just doing transactional job swaps. But in 1862 Aziraphale is cold again for reasons not explained by the 1827 minisode. (As an aside, S2 Aziraphale is just mirroring S1 Crowley in asking for big things--Crowley requests collaboration, a celestial nuke, treason, and child murder, all but one of which he gets, and the last not for lack of trying--and /Aziraphale/ is the only character making inappropriate requests for help?!) 1862 is the first time we see them seriously miscommunicating, as opposed to arguing--Crowley's approach to his request is bad and Aziraphale overreacts equally badly. And then we are shown that the emotional stakes of their relationship intensify after they reunite in 1941, when all the gazing and romantic music tell us that Aziraphale has fallen in love. Given that the script makes clear that Aziraphale and Crowley are having the same conversation in 1967 that they were in 1862, and Aziraphale still believes he's handing Crowley a suicide pill, Aziraphale's decision to yeet himself out of the car immediately when Crowley tries to ramp things up again is probably the /least/ codependent thing either character manages post-1941 in the first two seasons.

The fanon narrative in which they've been mutually pining for six millennia uncritically tracks Crowley's story, but it doesn't track the script. They /aren't/ a team or even especially attached until the Arrangement kicks in, and the first in-script signs of the codependency that will cause them to implode in S2 don't show up until the end of the eighteenth century. (In the novel, Aziraphale doesn't even understand that he genuinely /likes/ Crowley until they're thwarting Armageddon!) These are two characters who canonically get along just fine without seeing each other for years, decades, centuries, or millennia! But without the third part of the trilogy, there's no final evidence about how we should view Crowley's approach to relationship story-telling, let alone how we should judge whatever Gaiman (and Finnemore) are doing.

HI LWA✨!!!!!!

i mean first off, in general response to the entire thing:

i joke, but what you've said does really highlight, i think, a key detail that the fandom (including myself) get carried away with; that if we were to watch the show specifically with brand new eyes, without any influence of a surrounding fandom that has existed for the last six years (or 33, paying the book due consideration), the relationship between crowley and aziraphale would be regarded very differently.

but first re: Magic Trick Theory. i felt really bad for saying it at the time, but i was so full-body convinced that eps 1 and 2 were fake following the screening because they felt weird. i genuinely couldn't understand why people were saying what they were (obviously there were great moments, no questioning that), because all i could feel was a sense of unease. and that's not even because it didn't follow the tone of s1 (which i loved for its delicate balance of being the most ludicrous, dry-funny story with undertones of serious philosophy and subtle complexity), but because it felt like someone had taken a section of the story and stretched it out so forcefully across a frame that was too big for it.

i won't list off any particular issues i had for fear of causing offense, because my rather insignificant opinion is genuinely not intended as a means to shit on s2, but once i let go of the notion that this season was meant to do anything other than set up s3, have a couple of silly (but still potentially Important for s3) subplots, and just be a fun and wild ride in developing aziraphale and crowley as characters, i began to enjoy it. that was entirely to do with me and my expectations, because neil never really told us to expect otherwise. in any case, for me, this feeling kicked in around ten minutes into ep3; let go of expectations and just went along for the ride.

with the benefits of hindsight, i don't think that s2 was badly written; it was still subtly nuanced and clever, but just in a very different way to s1. it still asked questions. it still questioned the black, white, and in-between. it still had the undertones of a fairly cohesive plot. production quality, given the state the industry was in when filmed, was really commendable and honestly astounded me given the limitations that were in place at the time. david and michael's respective performances were amazing, there's no doubt, but i don't think they necessarily saved it, because in many respects i don't think it needed saving.

yes, there were flaws, but altogether it was a very enjoyable season. and whilst i realise that some people understandably watch shows for plot and thematic intricacy, artistic direction, particular acting set pieces, or anything that gives Depth (myself included on some shows), i just liked it simply because it entertained me. it made me laugh, cry, angry, bemused - whatever emotion you can think of, i can probably tell you a time during that fateful Friday morning (clutching my fourth coffee that night, having driven the m5 for a horrendously inappropriate amount of time, and in my 16-22nd hour of being awake - just setting the scene) where i felt it. i just enjoyed the ride.

(and by the by, still personally think the screenings were a mistake - fun, exciting, and communal in spirit, but a mistake)

but this brings me to the Theory. im sure this comes to noones surprise, but i love speculating. it's fun, it's self-rewarding, and frankly just helps my head Quieten Down a little. a form of self-care, if you like. i like that it's possible to look at the same scene, episode, season, and interpret it differently. to think that a character does something for one reason, but also for another, or that the plot could go this way, or it could go that way. ive personally tried to stay away from speculating based on anything but what the story has shown to us so far. yes, sometimes i joke that "haha, neil would definitely bait and switch us" etc etc., but ultimately im not the authority on what he will and won't do, and i don't try to assume that i have spotted an ulterior motive other than what has been shown to us in the show/book.

so when it came to the Theory, i loved the parts that referenced the show itself; because the interpretation and presentation of such was really well speculated. it has references, clearly had a lot of knowledge and research behind it, was eloquent and well-reasoned (however inaccurate it may turn out to be), and honestly was intimidating - in a good, awe-inspiring, jealous-of-their-intelligence way - in the depth of dedication the author had to writing it. but as i remarked in an ask from someone (@swansdreaming shout out!✨) that asked for my thoughts on it, the only real reaction i could give as to how valid i found it was that it was "A Lot".

s2 ended narratively on a problem (well, a couple of them), so it's not bold to assume that they will be largely resolved in s3. what i think was bold however is to be embroiled in how odd s2 was that there has to be a higher purpose for it narratively. i think a season can be written perhaps a smidge weaker just because it was, with no lofty reason as to why. it's entirely possible - as i got over myself - to just sit back and enjoy it for what is put in front of you, and not think much more than that in terms of the technicality of the show... just relax and trust that the loopholes, or the armoury chock-full of chekhov's guns will be explained. speculate about the future of the plot in terms of the material itself put in front of you? yes, cool. but justify the plot by way of "there's no possible way that the script/writing could be flawed?" - whilst a commendable notion and likely rooted in admiration, i think that's potentially a little audacious and even a little bit of unnecessary glorification.

but let's talk about the relationship itself. again, controversial and brave, and yet so inescapably true. i definitely think there is Something There right from the beginning, but my god, it is not love. curiosity and fascination, absolutely (to varying degrees). attraction and tension (in any form), i daresay so. but it's not love, not even friendship - frankly it's barely even respect. we see flashes of potential friendship and respect:

crowley's reaction to aziraphale giving away his sword and aziraphale being grateful for his platitude on his choice to do so

aziraphale lying to the archangels in job, and aziraphale's reaction to crowley's constant attempts to show job and his family mercy

aziraphale offering crowley dinner in rome, and crowley's stunned/amused reaction to "let me tempt you"

their mutual bemoaning about their respective roles during arthurian albion, and agreement that the weather is pretty miserable (incidentally but irrelevant - my favourite funny line from s1 is michael's damp comment, gets me each time).

but even then, all of these are rooted in other things too, if not in actual fact; the main one that immediately springs to my mind is self-interest. the overall tones of these scenes are not very warm, barely even tepid; they are just two supernatural beings, alone in their experience of being so and being on earth amongst humans (who do many problematic things that seem to confound them slightly which - fair), and relating to each other as a result. but there's not much else to it, to their relationship, when you step back and look at it as the big picture. as i said, other than a couple of lines, there's little if any genuine connection beyond relatability - and even then that's questionable.

edit bc important: reexamining crowley's line in the coffee shop re: "you only ever call me for three reasons...", this indicates that he's aware that aziraphale only contacts him out of self-interest which... whilst i think is slightly derivative to suggest at this point, it is also true and aziraphale doesn't negate it. whether crowley says this as a reflection on himself for not being worth aziraphale's time, or as a reflection on aziraphale himself (both?) is almost immaterial - but he is able to admit to himself that their relationship might not be as rooted in love and partnership as he would otherwise like to think.

the one thing i do think is correct is that they have been in a six-millennia-long dance, circling each other and mirroring each other, a constant give and take.. and aside from its overt parallels to jane austen/regency aesthetic, that's why i particularly like that the dancing in s2 was the dance it was - a quadrille (?) instead of any 1-1 dancing in the time period like a waltz was such a great reflection of this... mirroring each other in their sways and swings, circling each other, drawing together and retreating, and the occasional brush with each other (hands)... it was just so symbolically appropriate to represent this symbiosis they have been cultivating for millennia, rather than them be represented as fully cohesive together in the form of a partnered ballroom dance... incredible. and completely - once again - set up the dilemma for the Feral Domestic in ep6.

i realised this earlier today (i don't want to admit what number rewatch im on but i feel like i could get s3 greenlit singlehandedly at this point), but when i ruminated what feels like eons ago on aziraphale's tendency to place crowley on a pedestal? yeah, once again the mirroring theme continues. these two have such idealistic images of each other built in their heads, and to me (without going off for the thousandth time in Detail) it's aziraphale that starts to re-examine that image in s1 and 2.

to me, he starts to consider that actually his image of crowley was not true to reality, but still found that he loved the Real Crowley even more. but crowley ends up destroying that image entirely by the end of ep6 with his 'i love you but not that part/s, and so fuck it, "no nightingales""... i don't know if that was the intention of the script/narrative, but it's certainly how it looked to me - that aziraphale was almost fully accepting of who crowley was (bearing in he doesn't have the facts - *sideeye*).

crowley's image of aziraphale however is so inaccurate and, as with just about everything that is crowley and his story, he doesn't like or want to hear or accept the truth if it doesn't suit him. run away together? aziraphale is practically the shaking-chihuahua antithesis of running away from things. reject heaven because they're toxic? yes, but it won't change unless they perhaps try to change it themselves. we could have been us? aziraphale was literally offering this to you, and a chance (as aziraphale genuinely believes at that time, naivety notwithstanding) to actually be free and safe in being so. whether crowley clings to this narrative out of loneliness, a hope of true redemption, stubborn pig-headedness, or a combination of these and others besides, he really set himself up for disaster.

aziraphale has his hand in the issue too, there's no doubt - he's pretty incompetent about seeing things truly outside of his own comfy little world (bookshop or in his head, either works), and doesn't make any overt measures to try to infer and understand the things that are left Unsaid. whilst crowley is keeping things from him and hiding behind a mask, aziraphale by all accounts is a smart guy, and even without the full facts you'd think he'd at least be able to surmise why crowley cannot say yes to restoration... or maybe he does, but by the point that he's caught up enough to understand, crowley already lit the touchpaper and aziraphale retreats in his own hurt and sense of rejection.

the fact of the matter is that these characters, for having known each other for so long (in varying degrees of intimacy, granted), just do not know the first thing about what their respective cores are. it's very easy to focus on the star-crossed lovers element of the story (including myself in that number) and hyper-romanticise that aspect, than actually recognise the constant, problematic miscommunication and subsequent misunderstanding that - the way it's currently going - is going to lead them straight to their demise.

#it is now 0244 in the big brother house and i need to sleep #glad to see you back LWA✨#youve been missed (not even just by me but ive had others asking if youre sat in my inbox somewhere)#but it's very good to hear your voice of reason again #good omens #ask #flashback meta #crowley meta #aziraphale meta #s1 meta #s2 meta

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reneg661 · 1 month ago

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Is a giant Pteranodon kaiju who first appeared in the 1956 Toho film Rodan, and made his first appearance alongside Godzilla in the 1964 Godzilla film Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster. Two individual Rodans, a male and a female, were featured in the character's debut film. Awakened by nuclear radiation, the Rodans emerged from Mount Aso in Kyushu and wrought havoc across the globe, eventually annihilating the city of Fukuoka. The JSDF tracked the beasts to their nest in Mt. Aso, and triggered an eruption using artillery, seemingly causing the two Rodans to perish together. However, in Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, a single Rodan rose from the crater of Mt. Aso and immediately did battle with Godzilla. Mothra convinced Rodan and Godzilla to put aside their differences and help her drive off King Ghidorah, a malevolent space monster. Rodan went on to become a trusted ally of Godzilla in the Showa series, aiding him twice more in battle against King Ghidorah in the films Invasion of Astro-Monster and Destroy All Monsters. Rodan was reintroduced for the Heisei series in the film Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, where he was found on Adonoa Island guarding over BabyGodzilla's egg. After being defeated by Godzilla, Rodan transformed into a more powerful form dubbed Fire Rodan and flew to Japan to retrieve BabyGodzilla from G-Force. Rodan was mortally wounded in battle by Mechagodzilla, and gave up his life force to revitalize Godzilla so that he could overcome Mechagodzilla and raise BabyGodzilla in his place. In the original Rodan, the two Rodans are depicted as horrific and dangerous creatures who, despite their destructive nature, care deeply for each other and are unwilling to live without the other. In Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, Rodan displays a great deal of personality, openly mocking Godzilla when the latter is covered in Mothra's silk, and shakes his head in an irritated fashion after Godzilla's atomic breath has no effect on him. According to the translation of the monsters' conversation by the Shobijin, Rodan agrees with Godzilla's sentiment that he only hates humans because they hate him. Rodan claims he has no obligation to protect human beings and prefers to continue his pointless fight with Godzilla. However, upon seeing Mothra bravely take on King Ghidorah by herself, Rodan joins with Godzilla to battle the extraterrestrial creature. In subsequent films in the Showa series, Rodan is seen as a loyal ally of Godzilla who assists him and the other Earth monsters in fighting off King Ghidorah. In Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, Rodan sees BabyGodzilla as his brother and will go to great lengths to protect him, nearly being killed by both Godzilla and Mechagodzilla. After seeing that BabyGodzilla is a Godzillasaurus and not a Pteranodon like him, Rodan willingly sacrifices himself to save Godzilla from Mechagodzilla so he can raise BabyGodzilla. Rodan's next film appearance came in the final film of the Millennium series, Godzilla Final Wars, where he was a mind-controlled pawn of the Xiliens in their invasion of Earth. Rodan also exists in the continuity of the GODZILLA anime trilogy, with multiple members of the species featured in the two official prequel novels, GODZILLA: Monster Apocalypse and GODZILLA: Project Mechagodzilla. The skeletal remains of the first Rodan in this continuity, killed by the bioweapon Hedorah, are visible during the opening of GODZILLA: Planet of the Monsters, along with those of Anguirus. Rodan was teased through a cave painting in Kong: Skull Island, the second film of Legendary Pictures' Monsterverse, and appeared in full alongside Mothra and King Ghidorah in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, the sequel to Legendary's Godzilla.

Godzilla (2000) (c) Godzilla Art (c) reneg661

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dizzyedgc · 10 months ago

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[ dev patel, man, he/him ] — whoa! GIDEON CHOWDHURY just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS, working as a LIBRARIAN & WRITER. that can’t be easy, especially at only THIRTY-THREE. some people say they can be a little bit INSECURE and TIMID, but i know them to be INTELLIGENT and DEVOTED. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to BROOKLYN! — (freddie, twenty-four, aest, they/them)

content warning - death of a parent, mental health issues.

BASIC INFO —

full name: gideon chatur chowdhury nickname/s: gid preferred name: gideon ( is happy / comfortable with anything though, really ) age: thirty-three birthday: may 14th zodiac: taurus gender: man pronouns: he/him occupation: librarian & writer sexuality: bisexual relationship status: single ( + open for ships )

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE —

faceclaim: dev patel hair colour: dark brown hair length / style: slightly grown out, curly, often slightly messy eye colour: brown height: 6'1" tattoos: none currently peircings: none currently scars: none noteworthy

PESONALITY -

positive traits: intelligent, devoted, considerate, imaginative, creative, clever, loving, selfless, aware, humorous, helpful, friendly, courteous, resourceful, entertaining negative traits: insecure, timid, weak, defeated, defensive, scared, submissive, anxious, avoidant likes: writing ( when inspiration hits ), the smell of books, warm weather with a cool breeze, kisses on cheeks and foreheads, books, music ( specifically orchestral music ), natural light, beautiful architecture, home cooked meals dislikes: film adaptations of books that are vastly different from the original source material ( "why didn't they just create their own story inspired by the book? with this many differences it's not like they'd get in trouble for plagiarising..." ), writers block, uncomfortable silences, spilled drinks, licorice hobbies: cooking, tending to his tiny indoor herb garden, writing ( if only inspiration could ever hit ), reading, watching films, listening to music, playing any instrument he can get his hands on, going for walks bad habits: not getting enough sleep, smoking, biting fingernails, procrastinating, stretching himself too thin, doubting himself

BACKGROUND —

gideon was born to starving artists; his mother was a musician, and his father was a writer.

his parents worked hard to provide a good life for their family, though at the same time, they never forgot to chase their dreams and put happiness above wealth.

they moved to new york when gideon was six years old, and there gideon found himself living a perfect life.

above everything else that kept gideon busy, he cherished his time playing music with his mother, and coming up with ideas for his father’s latest books.

unfortunately, gideon’s perfect life was cut short at the age of thirteen, when his father passed in a sudden and unprecedented accident.

to say that gideon was lost is an understatement; he experienced his first terrible bout of mental health issues, and the despair felt endless.

it didn’t last forever, no matter how bleak life felt at times; his mother was of particular help to him, as was reading through his father’s work - the ideas they had come up together, but that his father had never been able to realise into a completed novel.

life carried on, and gideon kept his father in his life by becoming fixated on his work. as a young adult, gideon began to dabble in completing his father’s work, and thus, gideon’s writing career began.

over the course of some years, gideon had three novels - a fiction trilogy - published ( sure to credit his father for his contribution ) and met with success, he felt as though he had never been happier.

like before, though, the happiness didn’t last. without his father’s books to complete, gideon found himself losing purpose - no matter how many great things he still had in his life - and his mental health issues returned.

he thought the solution was to keep on writing, but no matter how hard he tried, no inspiration hit enough for him to complete any other work.

gideon tried for a very long time - he still does try, in fact - but he lost his spark, and submitted to a job at the library instead, something he felt would make him feel closer to his father again.

WANTED CONNECTIONS —

best friend - this is a ride or die connection, they could have been friends as young as six, when gideon moved to new york, and they’re thick as thieves. they’ve been there for gideon through everything ( and there’s been a lot ) and vice versa ! any gender, similar age preferred.

childhood friends - they became friends as kids here in new york, and no matter how much they developed and changed and grown, they’ve stayed friends because of that. i think it’d be real funny if they were super opposite people, and if people had no idea why they’re even friends. any gender, similar age required.

regulars at the library - people who trust his opinions on what books they should check out, people who talk with him for far longer than they should while he’s working about books - or other stuff ! -, people who get their fees for overdue returns disappearing because they’re such nice people to gideon.

ex love interests - gideon was in a serious relationship for the past few years, but before that he also had a few other partners. he’s not the most experienced because he’s quite reserved with his love, but he’s a very good partner when his insecurities and mental health issues aren’t preventing him from being one. any gender !

book club - i’m not sure if this is an already established thing in this group yet or not, but gideon is definitely part of a book club. he wouldn’t have started it, but he would have joined it years ago and committed to it as anything literary related makes him feel closer to his father. he never misses a meet !

musician friends - while he might seem more literature focused due to his career, gideon is an extremely good musician, and i’d love for him to connect to others here in new york. he only typically plays for fun, jamming by himself or with these friends, but i could also see him jumping in on tracks or performances as a session musician when needed / when a friend asks !

gideon is also open to so much more, i'm happy to brainstorm or listen to any / all of your ideas !

#∘₊✶────── gideon chowdhury ; intro #boroughs.intro #i apologise once again for if any formatting is a little weird asdfghjkl #death cw #death of a parent cw #mental health issues cw

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