#WOW!!!! big number

[spark1edog]

just realized i’m steadily approaching 5 years on t

[amphibianaday]

day 1500

[sunshades]

MC Heath's chatter line about being able to move his arms weirdly while he sounds genuinely happy makes me sick he is so dear to me

LET'S ALL APPRECIATE THIS LINE HE IS SO ANNOYING GOD BLESS

there rly is something so bittersweet about this ID... that little self-esteem moment about his career in uptie chatter 2, then this one with that pride he shows at times about his body & strength... and at the same time that feeling that it's all for naught. the second of hesitation when he thinks abt what in his mind could POSSIBLY be worth returning to... you need someone to share it with. even if the person who loves you isn't here you can at least show your manager who has been trying to be your friend... argh!!

[luna-loveboop]

Yo that's a lot right?

Because I can't tell /gen but it feels like a lot. I mean tumblr said holy moly so

Thanks guys :)

[vanityangel]

when ur crush starts eyeing the new girl in town 😔

[stargirl230]

Art Summary 2023!

This year was kind of a struggle art-wise (read: burnout) but I'm glad I stuck it out because I got to spend a solid 8 months drawing all the fanart I didn't have time for last year :D

Thanks to everyone for sticking around, and here’s to another year of art!

[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[nostalgia-tblr]

finally caught up a wee bit with dr who, i skipped the babies one cos it sounded terrible, went with the music episode.

good things: i like the doctor and the baddy was fun and clarose (i forgot her name twice now) is fine. also a very good episode for reaction images:

less good: i think i made a few of those faces myself while watching. what i assume was foreshadowing was pretty bad (had someone decided "one word repeated every episode" wasn't enough?). i am not sure why the doctor knew exactly what was happening, i don't mind that as an occasional plot device (they do know pretty much everything, after all) but it felt over done in this. why was there a music battle? why was there a song? WHY IS MURRAY GOLD BACK, HAD WE NOT AT LAST BANISHED HIM?

[lilidawnonthemoon]

[dawnthefluffyduck]

I drew this explanation post for why I was completely inactive for a week, but then felt too anxious and drained to post it, and subsequently disappeared for a second week

Two main blog drawings and one side blog wip later, I remembered I made this and still think it's funny, so even though I stopped being dead (TM) I still wanted to share lol

Brief series of events at work

^^^old, but I'm still taking it easy so posts on both this blog and my alt will continue to be scattered for now

[themissingnumbers]

[@blue-tearss - previously, yet again.]

WARNING: At this point this entire thing is getting pretty intense in general. Warning for descriptions and illustrations of gore (specifically face and eye trauma), and a general emphasis on horror.

As the knife comes down upon him, Red does not fight back.

Red takes it.

Each swing. Each cut. Each slash.

over and over and over and over and over and

Biting pain.

The burn of an old blade.

It stings. Gods, it stings.

But to hurt is to be alive. To bleed is to be real.

He's something that is living.

Even if 'something' is not human.

Even though he's not sure what it could be anymore.

So he lets the knife glide through his skin.

Lets himself be flayed and mangled and marred.

Lets the blood flow from his wounds, and from his throat.

Because he knows it, sees it, tastes it in Blue's code.

How familiar this dying face is to him.

It makes it all the more hilarious.

Red's face, shoulders, and chest are a sanguine mess of ragged lacerations, staining the front of his shirt with the hue of a dark, dull purple, colored like rotten blood from a lifeless body. Even through the blue dye in the air, he refuses to be colored like everything else- colors of the Missing One prevailing, even with the lack of the man's typical palette corruption.

As if in tandem with the sudden absence of those horrible flickering bars that typically crawl across Red's skin and hair, Glitch City... calms. The mass eating at Blue relents when his assault ends. There's a distinct heaviness to the air, though. Each piece of the world that craved to rip and tear and consume, now twitching, bubbling, boiling underneath them. A dreadful kind of suspense.

A predator waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.

It is waiting.

Red runs a hand down his face, over flesh marred beyond recognition, fingers tracing the dips and exposed muscle even though it burns more and more under the contact.

A single in-tact eye burns into the other.

Somehow, he still.

fucking.

SMILES.

"Y'know, I never thought I'd end up on the receiving end," he croaks, voice half-drowned by the blood that flows freely into his mouth.

"I'd always wondered what the motherfucker upstairs had been through. Thanks for giving me something educational to take from this, pal."

He spits his words at the other, underlined by the awful wet noises of viscera catching in his throat.

He steps forward, aiming to meet the other in the middle. Blue can see him trembling, shaky, unsteady on his feet- it hurts, oh Gods it hurts. It hurts more than he can describe. This pain is unfamiliar. Even if he welcomes the lack of numbness, it still hurts. It hurts. Each step he takes is more and more akin to a shambling corpse, a zombie freshly risen and struggling to hold itself upright. It hurts. It hurts.

"It's a little funny how you say you're not desperate while tryna hack me to pieces, y'know," he continues, voice growing all the raspier.

Frankly, he should be impossible to understand at this point. But there's something supplemental under his gargled mutterings- whispers on whispers from every side, quiet, but just loud enough to make each and every word clear.

"Whaddya think, that I'm stupid, or are you just in denial that badly...? I mean, when I get bored, I don't go out of my way to slaughter some doppelganger of the guy I hate most, in th' boring ol' way I did it every time before... Where's the fun in doin' something different if ya go about it the exact same, huh? You're BORED, but you aren't lookin' to change a single fuckin' thing, just attacking some pooooor defenselesss motherfucker that ya don't even know anything 'bout, don't got any grudges t' hold against...

But heyyy, heheh, it's allll in a place where your actions don't matter, cus it ain't even yyour world, must be sooo much easier, no aftermath t' worry about, that must be what yyYOU think, hhahaha..."

As he goes on, each word is more drawn out, quieter and quieter and weaker and weaker, yet biting with a sharpness that stabs deeper than Blue's blade. He babbles and slurs as if drunk- probably going delirious from the blood loss.

But he keeps chuckling, low, soft, and quiet. Barely a giggle under his breath...

Until it begins to crescendo.

Laughter slowly rising, Red tilts his head back, until he's thrown himself into a loud fit of cackling, RIGHT in the other's face, 'til he's wheezing, barely able to BREATHE through his manic laughter, 'til he looks like he could fall backwards if he doesn't catch his breath.

Suddenly, he snaps his head forward- and there IS an audible snap, like bones loudly clicking into place in a single grotesque movement- bringing himself eye to eye with the other. Sickly dull purples flicker into that distinct violent RED with a flare of corruption, cutting through everything with a vivid, bloody color.

"This place is HELL," he snarls, suddenly speaking clear as day, the amusement still glimmering in his one good eye, "but you fail to understand something important; this is MY Hell. And 'infested?' Does not even BEGIN to describe it."

His hand surges forward, grabbing Blue's knife-wielding hand by the wrist. His nails dig in, his fist closes around Blue's, forcing the other to tighten his grip on the handle. Red blood, running down his arm and to his hand in a deluge, mixes with blue, running and swirling together like mismatched paints dropped into a sick palette.

"What happened to MY Blue? You're asking the wrong question. Didn't anyone tell you to do your research before traveling, buddy? You should be asking what happened to ME. Because BLUE is free. BLUE is exactly where he is supposed to be. Far, far away from HERE. Living. Breathing. S A F E. I wouldn't wish him here for ANYTHING- shit, I wouldn't wish this on ANYONE. In fact, I genuinely feel fucking BAD that YOU managed to stumble into this shithole, y'know? You're tryin' awful hard to kill my pity, but I really am giving you the benefit of the doubt for how STUPID you're acting."

His hold on Blue's hand strengthens. With a harsh pull, and a grip threatening to either draw blood or break bone, he wrenches the other's fist down-

Forcing him to point the blade directly at his stomach.

He leaves the tip of the knife digging through his shirt and poking his flesh, only just gently enough to avoid breaking skin.

"But lookie here, yeah? Check THIS out, hahaha! If you're ACTUALLY as bored as you say, you must REALLY wanna see something new, right? If you wanna keep using me as your new punching-bag motherfucking PLAYTHING... Start HERE, would you? I bet you'll LOVE what happens next."

In a staggered motion, he releases Blue's hand where he left it. Knife still pointed forward, straight at Red's guts, but now with the freedom to let the other decide his next move.

"Still, though... Hey, let me be CIVIL and give you some actual advice," he continues, and he's heaving again, struggling with every breath, excess blood spilling from between his teeth. The surge of strength falters, and he slumps forward, putting one hand over his chest, gripping his shirt until his knuckles go white. His other hand lingers, the one he'd grabbed Blue with, shaking worse and worse with each passing moment. Red feels sick, his heart and a dozen other horrific things brewing inside of him pounding faster and faster against his ribs, restless and angry, ready to explode out of that cage of bone, simmering just below the surface. It's a nauseating feeling that's synchronized with the greater behavior of Glitch City, all while he struggles to stay awake and keep his mind clear.

"If you have ANY sense of self preservation still about you..." he drawls with an uneasy laugh, eye unfocused as he tries to stare at Blue, "then I suggest y'put that fucking thing away and start looking for an exit before shit gets REALLY ugly. But whatever ya do next, well... it's up to you...!"

Even with his lips tattered, torn off his face, Blue can feel how Red's grin widens.

"Just don't say I never warned you."

[stargirlstabber]

wow... i can't believe my eyes- 😳

WE HIT 1K FOLLOWERS Y'ALL, thank you so much, wouldn't have made it to such a big number if it weren't for you🥺🌸🫶🏻

[zhongrin]

sorry i haven't been answering asks i've been trying to research up on eczema (pain) and trying to escape decapitated chicken head allegations while accidentally starting a cult (silly shenanigans)

[britneyshakespeare]

I have to be so honest and vulnerable with you for a second. I keep thinking of getting another complete works of Shakespeare

[baeshijima]

honestly the new hsr event is so satisfying purely for the big numbers go brr

looking at this screenshot i also just realised i used a trial aventurine and topaz instead of my own ones :D

[yakourinka]

wow macklemore's palestine song (hind's hall) is actually really good. i knew about it but hadn't listened to it because i'm not particularly interested in the mack

yeah you're right man honestly.