#WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE JUST GIVE THIS SONG THE FLOWERS IT DESERVES

[rachthepoet]

Two Ghosts Analysis

Too often am I forced to bear witness to people publicly admitting they walk right over this song and ignore the beauty under their noses. While I can't deem it a criminal offense, I dream I could. But, fair enough, let's get serious now.

This song is a melancholic and nostalgic reflection of a relationship lost to the past, where the theme of grieving returns after a breather is found in the preceding song. Lots of personification and metaphor at play here, giving way to stunning prose to catalog a relationship that's reached its expiration date. This can be an eerie feeling, in which everything looks the same, one's still with the same person — yet something's happened and shifted the dynamic. Or, something that's changed both people in a way that, when together, romanticism ceases to exist. The soul of the relationship is no longer there, it's dead.

Here's a deep dive into Harry Styles' Two Ghosts, from a poet.

Lyric Pull Apart

[VERSE 1] Same lips red, same eyes blue Same white shirt, couple more tattoos But it's not you, and it's not me

Same lips red, same eyes blue / Same white shirt, couple more tattoos: Attention to detail is forever a soft spot for me, and I will love it forever. For, these are the details one will always remember about a person that one once let themselves become so interwoven with. It serves another purpose too, curating context clues about the partner in question for the listener. Two ex-lovers see each other after the relationship ends, or maybe right before. The line, couple more tattoos, indicates a passage of time, and more indication of change. Yet, with that, there's a repetition of the word same three times in two lines, which brings in the conceptualization of sameness.

With sameness being emphasized, it drives the point home of how things are the same but they're simultaneously not. Establishing this will only uplift the contrasts to come, and it reminds me of the saying that you can't recreate the same memory twice. Even as one tries to find their way back, dancing the same steps, will it ever truly be the same if things have been so different in this passage of time apart?

Same lips red, as many conclude, could be referencing a lip rouge, or lips that naturally pull redder. Though, also, lips can be reddened through being kissed or being bitten, even getting chapped. I love how many different directions one could go in painting the scene in their head. Same eyes blue feels more straightforward in its meaning as a simple description, but there could also be another layer to unpeel — blue often is used to represent sadness, which can add more emotional nuance to this scene being set. I believe these two lines are referencing the speaker's ex-lover.

Same white shirt can be very literal, as in wearing a simple plain white t-shirt in how I visualize it, but also a more abstract reference to just plain, casual dress. It also, deeper, could be a shirt hat was shared between the two, indicating intimacy as we build the history between the two in this setting scene of the first half of the first verse. But that might be a reach, I know. Then, couple more tattoos as mentioned before can indicate a passage of time, and in a concept of sameness, this would be the detail to break the illusion that things haven't changed. The tattoos can be, you know, tattoos, but also anything that permanently marks the body if one wants to lean into the more abstract. I believe these two lines are referencing the speaker himself.

But it's not you, and it's not me: Clever allusion to such a classic breakup line — it's not you, it's me — but there's a subtle shift in its language, shifting the blame away from both. This implies that circumstances and forces bigger than them may have been the reason for their relationship dying off. It's no one's fault that this isn't working.

Despite the sameness illusion highlighted previously, the two aren't the people they were the last time they stood here, face to face. Looks can be deceiving, as the internal state of both parties is so different now. We're both here, but we're not us.

[VERSE 1] Tastes so sweet, looks so real Sounds like something I used to feel But I can't touch what I see

Tastes so sweet, looks so real / Sounds like something I used to feel: A somber symphony of the senses rounds out this study of the speaker himself and this person that's removed from his life, but it's a constant reminder that they're not forgotten. Rather, he's haunted by memories of what the relationship used to be. Still taking over all his senses. In their presence, it's all still so sweet to him that he can taste the experience, or maybe still taste their lips on his. And, lyrically, all of what has preceded this point has been what sounds like something I used to feel — past tense, a memory lost to time. A loss of life and spark.

But I can't touch what I see: Intangible things made tangible, in a sense. The soul of the relationship is no longer there, what's left is merely a metaphorical hollow skeleton of the relationship. He can't touch the love, can't graze his fingers against the spark, the chemistry, the life of the relationship — it's no longer in existence, and there's nothing that remains to grasp onto. Even if he feels like he can see it, in the tricks of his mind or tricks of the light, it's no longer viable or revivable.

[CHORUS] We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just Two Ghosts standin' in the place of you and me Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

We're not who used to be: The repeated truism throughout the song rings so significant because this is what the speaker's thinking in the back of his mind. They keep trying to make it work, but within his soul and subconscious, he knows that they're both not who they used to be. The dynamic has shifted in a way that hinders the flourishment of romance in contrast to when they were in a good place. Both have changed as people. The repetition is used again, I feel, to emphasize that time has passed and change has happened. Whatever has happened or transpired between them, either a lot of time elapsed or enough events in their respective lives to come out completely changed. There's no common ground for them to stand on — the relationship has run its course. Its lifeline has gone slack.

We're just Two Ghosts standin' in the place of you and me: The symbolism and metaphor within the namesake's Two Ghosts, and just the use of a ghost as a representation brings such eloquence to the song. And it pains me to see it overlooked, or just not appreciated. Ghosts are less substantial, dead inside, and are creatures of the literal past. In the vision of them turning into the quote-en-quote "Two Ghosts", they're each merely a shell of a person that the other once knew. A pale imitation of what they were. This haunts them, living in the other's mind. And, running with the vision of the personification of the relationship itself, I see them going through the motions. But, the spark, the life source of the relationship was no longer present. They're both at the wake, haunted by the ghosts of what they used to be. Maybe also with a tendency to live in the past.

Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat: Oh, this line. This beautiful line just makes me ache. Since we were just talking about the personification, we'll continue on that front — the heartbeat of the relationship, trying to remember what it felt like before the relationship flatlined. And, pulling away and looking at the two, indicating them having a heartbeat — in which they felt alive when they felt the spark. A complimenting line to the ghost metaphor truly drives home that the relationship is dead.

Together, they had a steady heartbeat, a constant, something to rely on as if felt natural to them... back then. Now, reiterating, there's been time elapsed with distance and separation, as the constant gets lost to the past. There's the cliche romantic trope about the heart fluttering when infatuated. Usually, one doesn't feel their own heartbeat in normal circumstances, but when you see the person whose capture your love, the heart starts beating like it will beat its way right out of the chest. As the speaker realizes the death of this relationship, he misses the feeling — the adrenaline rush to cause this beautiful but haunting sensation. He struggles to recall how it felt because his heart isn't fluttering anymore, and that can be heartbreaking. But now, he's trying to move on and live again, but still struggles from what I can conclude.

[VERSE 2] The fridge light washes this room white Moon dances over your good side And this was all we used to need

The fridge light washes this room white / Moon dances over your good side: I find these lines so vivid, painting beautiful imagery. It's a scene so romantic and intimate, especially with the diction of the second line, how the moonlight dances over them — it feels a little flirtatious. And it's a memory that remains stuck in his head, back when there was still soul and life radiating. All this domestic imagery and bliss and infatuation — but that was then. Again, a memory.

Moonlight is something fun to interpret, and I'm aware I might be putting on my poet-went-in-too-deep shoes, but I'm throwing it in just in case someone finds their fancy with my ramblings. This is such a beautiful and almost ethereal image of someone, especially one that's revered in the mind, cascaded in the moonlight. But, moonlight doesn't come from the moon, but, rather, light is emitted from the sun and reflected onto the moon which then reflects into the moonlight people are fascinated by. This can lend itself to symbolism of melancholia and somberness sometimes, as the moon can't create its own light, but must rely on the sun. Maybe the speaker felt as if this person was the sun, him the moon, and the moonlight reflected back on the person in this imagery. A light he's giving that he can only credit to the lover, leading to this struggle to find ground to stand on when the sun has left. Just an abstract theorization and a bundle of thoughts, really.

And this was all we used to need: Naturally, this is a companion line to the previous two. Back when the soul was alive and well in the relationship, everything was simplistic and low effort. And that's how you want chemistry to be — a naturally occurring spark, and there's no need to force it in the relationship. Simple things, like intimate domestic moments spent in the moonlight, used to be all they needed to get the heartbeat going. Maybe even racing. But something has shifted, a common thing that's returned to. There has to be more effort now, and the two can no longer expect everything to work itself out. Trapped in the past — haunted by what once was.

[VERSE 2] Tongue-tied like we've never known Tellin' those stories we already told 'Cause we don't say what we really mean

Tongue-tied like we've never known / Tellin' those stories we already told: It wouldn't be a Harry Styles song without a difficulty of communication motif. This breakdown of communication within the relationship plagues the speaker significantly. They stumble over their words now as they try to speak — they don't know how to communicate with one another anymore, something that we can infer came easy to them once. It goes along with the refrain, speaking to we're not who we used to be and the ghost metaphor. There's something about being able to naturally understand the other person, and when that ability is lost, it's a clue that you're no longer in sync with one another. Something is dulling the life.

This all provides such a stark contrast with the beautiful imagery at the top of this second verse — but that was then, and this is where they stand now. A shift, the magic is gone, and the soul of the relationship is no longer viable. they have nothing to talk about anymore, nothing new, and they both revert back to what they've already told each other thousands of times — maybe a reach to try to feel reinvigorated, but it falls flat. The soul is gone, and the relationship has been lost, only a relic of lost time in their minds.

'Cause we don't say what we really mean: Both parties have an awareness, I believe, that the relationship has run its course, but neither of them wants to say it out loud. Maybe, deep down, they both still have love for each other. But there's nothing that can be done when the spark is gone and the body is not revivable. They let themselves succumb to this cycle of repetitious stories that have an association back to their times of flourishment, avoiding talking of the reality — avoiding grieving what they once were, and pushing their emotions down. No true feelings are being said, and nothing real with genuine intentions is being given either.

[CHORUS ADD ON VARIATION 1] We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just Two Ghosts standin' in the place of you and me We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just Two Ghosts swimmin' in a glass half empty Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

A repetition of the chorus, but with each additional iteration offers a little variation. One lyric change per repetition could be missed if one isn't listening deeply enough, which could bring in the miscommunication the speaker feels into the lyrical structure, too. I personally believe and will argue that those two lines snuck into the reiterated choruses hold as much significance as the full verses.

We're just Two Ghosts swimmin' in a glass half empty: Pretty metaphorical here, yeah? And a call to Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here. Again, we come to the core visualization of the two ghosts, how the two are shells of who they used to be within the context of a relationship lost to time, and has become a relic infused with nothing but memories. A nostalgic mind's trick, even. A glass half empty is an image negative and is one of the classic ways to determine if someone is more idealistic or more fatalistic. If someone views the glass half full, they're optimistic — if someone views the glass half empty, they're pessimistic. The utilization of this creates a foreshadowing of the inevitable fate of the relationship. Even if we want to go in a bit deeper, it shows how they've shifted from the optimistic to the pessimistic — where bright memories once illustrated through an idealistic screen are snapping back to the now, one by one, and reality has a fatalistic film roll.

A glass, even a metaphorical one, doesn't have much room. And it's cylindrical, so swimming in it would result in going in circles again and again. When one swims a lot, it tires the body — but, here, it's such an inefficient activity, getting nowhere. And, with the pessimistic cloud being cost over this imagery, it's swimming to no destination. Of course, there's also the water imagery brought in, something significant here but also to the debut album as a whole art piece. Water, through HS1, has been tied to renewal and rebirth — but, within this song's context, a more somber undertext is adopted. If they make their way out of this glass, could they ever be truly cleansed of constantly trying to revive a dead relationship? Will this always haunt them?

[CHORUS ADD ON VARIATION 2] We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just Two Ghosts standin' in the place of you and me We're not who we used to be We don't see what we used to see We're just Two Ghosts swimmin' in a glass half empty Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

Another repetition of the chorus, but as discussed before, each iteration offers a new variation, and this is no different.

We don't see what we used to see: It feels almost synonymous with the repeated truism that we're not who we used to be, as it lies along the same theme. Each person's mindset has shifted and changed, in a way that they fail to see eye-to-eye in the way they used to do. They've lost this foundation of understanding with one another, which is a component of the soul of the relationship. A soul is no longer full of life. They could also not see the spark in one another anymore, in which attraction has faded more into neutrality.

[OUTRO] Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

More repetition here, but the phrasing of the last line has changed in the slightest bit, and that tiny detail offers up so much.

I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat: Now, we switch to first person, which always makes the tone more intimate, bringing everything back to the speaker to conclude. Being the final line we hear him sing, it enhances the emotion at the end. But there's also this almost sense of exhaustion. The speaker is really trying to still care for this person, respect this person, and excavate the spark again — but, sometimes, relationships just run their course. With the switch to the first-person point of view, the listener can sense that the separation is already beginning. We to I. The speaker's looking into himself, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat. A heartbeat alone.

In HS1, grief is a concept explored in all its different forms. Two Ghosts casts the end of the relationship between the two as some kind of death, as the life has been snuffed out in the relationship itself, but also death to the individuals. The two people changed so much within the grieving of loss to what meant so much to both, metaphorically becoming ghosts of their former selves, and there's no recognizing the other in the present as the speaker lives in the past. It's a bittersweet pang to grieve what has been, and what's irrevocably changed. And I find it continuously beautiful how these different aspects are explored.

Thank you for reading, you’re absolutely incredible! If there are any songs you’d like me to make an analysis of, please send your request to my inbox! along with any questions or insights you might have yourself!

[rumisgf]

YOUR BEST EATER ! - JJK EDITION

summary: jjk characters i think can eat pussy the best and who i think would not. that’s really it, i’m telling yall who the munches are. enjoy some pussy eating headcanons :D !

warnings: explicit obviously, black!reader, discussing f!receiving oral, use of the title daddy (once), cursing, slight crack, slander but i’m kidding kinda

GOJO SATURO - 10/10

✧ he’s sick in the head.

✧ i hate him truly. he gives good head and he knows it.

✧ he loves making it messy, he wants your arousal all over his face

✧ he wants it on the sheets by the time he’s finished

✧ he also likes making you cum multiple times, so don’t expect mercy

✧ he gets a kick out of watching you squirm and writhe under his touch

✧ and not only is his tongue magical, but he knows all the methods to make you scream for him

✧ he uses fingers and all that

✧ he’s definitely made you squirt from head

✧ the type of head he gives will have you soaked before he even fucks you

✧ yk the song that’s like ‘i’m the type of guy that’s gon eat it ‘fore i put it in?”

✧ yeah, that’s gojo

“one more, princess? hm?”

“yesss- please ‘toru!”

“good girl.. want you to make a mess all over my tongue”

GETO SUGURU - 9/10

✧ he’s a good contender for sure

✧ he’ll act like he doesn’t want to at first but it’s all a facade

✧ he can’t let you know he’s a fiend too early of course

✧ but when he finally does, boy are you surprised

✧ toe curling. jaw dropping.

✧ he’ll have you creaming on his fingers while he sucks on your clit like a madman

✧ it hurts so good and you never want him to stop

✧ and he licks your clit so attentively, he looks at each facial expression you make

✧ he draws perfect circles with his tongue

✧ it’s definitely not his strong suit (but shit that’s saying something)

✧ i’ll give him his flowers though for sure

✧ he gives the type of head that has you aching for him to put his dick inside you already

“taste so fuckin’ good. love this pussy, baby- ‘s all mine.”

TOJI FUSHIGURO - 8/10

✧ he’s one of those guys who swears up and down he doesn’t eat pussy

✧ he does.

✧ first time he went between your thighs, you thought you saw god

✧ whenever your hips lift up and you start squirming from all the pleasure, he presses them back into the mattress

✧ and he edges you while giving you head

✧ he’ll have you screaming then stop just to hear you beg for him to let you cum

✧ he’s still a sadist at the end of the day, he can’t let you have too much fun

✧ either that, or he overstimulated you until there’s literal tears streaming down your cheeks

✧ he loves making you cry from head

✧ if he’s not having you gag on his dick as he throat fucks you, this is his other way to see tears stain your pretty face

✧ whenever you squirt from him giving you head, he feels very satisfied with himself

✧ he can never give head for too long tho because the sight of you dripping pussy right in front of his eyes makes him so hard it hurts

“stay fuckin’ still brat. let me taste this pussy.”

SUKUNA RYOMEN - 2/10

✧ he doesn’t eat pussy.

✧ yeah, sorry.

✧ he’s a literal demon idk what else was expected

✧ in all seriousness, he’s not too fond of giving head

✧ but, he does enjoy fingering you though

✧ his fingers are often plunged into your hole while make out sessions and it’s his go-to for foreplay

✧ he’ll have you on his lap and play with your cunt until you’re crying

✧ and if you have toys, he loves overstimulating you with him

✧ this is often how he punishes you (sometimes he just feels like it, though)

✧ but long story short, this man will NOT be your best eater

“ry- fuck! daddy please- can’t take it!”

“nuh uh, this is what you wanted doll. let me take care of ya.”

NANAMI KENTO - 10/10

✧ if gojo’s not your best eater, nanami’s definitely your best eater

✧ he’s got every tongue and finger combo down packed

✧ he gets down. he do NOT play.

✧ he’s definitely a pleasure dom at heart so he believes you deserve good head from him

✧ and he also doesn’t talk at all while giving you head

✧ it’s almost amazing how focused he gets

✧ his form of communication is looking up at your fucked out face, filling his ego

✧ he likes eating you at after he fucks you

✧ that way he can fuck his cum back into you with his tongue and taste your arousal at the same time

✧ it’s also a way to overstimulate you that he can be slick with

✧ whenever you’re in missionary, he always has your legs bent to your ears so he can pull out and lap at your pussy whenever he wants to

✧ it’s a rush getting fucked into oblivion then getting your soul snatched as he slurps up all your juices

✧ he also enjoys how wet he makes you, so you taste so good when he does

✧ he spits on it. that’s all i have to say.

“k-kento.. so good..”

CHOSO KAMO - 11/10

✧ OHHHH LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING

✧ you thought i wouldn’t put him above gojo and nanami? you’re wrong.

✧ this man is a munch. he’s a fiend. it’s pathetic.

✧ he’ll eat pussy on his knees, matter of fact he loves it

✧ he loves when you trap your legs around like yes please don’t let him breathe he might nut right then and there

✧ he whimpers while eating you out.

✧ he won’t say it, but he likes spelling out words in your clit

✧ he mostly just spells his name

✧ and he loves how you taste, so he can eat you out forever

✧ you have to tap out for him to stop because he really has no self control when it comes to eating you out

✧ and please, sit on his face.

✧ and actually sit on it. this man doesn’t wanna be able to breathe

✧ he’ll leaves fingerprint marked bruises on your ass cheeks from gripping them as he works his tongue from under you

✧ him eating you out always has you squirting before he even fucked you yet

✧ he also enjoys tasting the mix of yours and his cum after he fucks you

✧ choso gives head so good you wanna have his kids

“babyyy- ‘m c-cumming!”

“f-fuck, taste so good baby. need you so bad.”

@ rumisgf

[ham-st4r]

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 - 𝙻. 𝙷𝚎𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚗𝚐

Pairing: heeseung + female reader

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, cursing, cum eating, blow job, multiple orgasms, angst, pet names, daddy kink, breeding kink, reader and hee have sex in a classroom.

Summary: heeseung is still determined to get into your pants after months of “wowing” you and showering you with gifts and compliments. He’s successful all, though his charm isn’t exactly what makes you say yes to him. It’s more for you and the fact that once you finally give him what he wants, he can finally leave you alone once and for all.

Wordcount: 2,328k

Note: I am finally getting over this sickness, so I thought I might just give you guys a lil sum sum hope you enjoy!

Find your way around!

“Hey beautiful,” Heeseung approached you at your locker door like he was just the sweetest, nicest guy on earth.

He wasn’t.

He was just a horny guy that would do and say anything to stick his dick inside someone, and that someone just happened to be you. For the last couple of months, he’d come up to you, giving you flowers, buying you candy, sweet talking to you, even going as far as to compliment you when you got new nails or a new hairstyle. It sounds flattering, and any other time it is, but because it’s lee heeseung with a manwhore with a bad reputation, it’s not flattering, and if anything, it’s disgusting.

“Thank you, heeseung,” you say in a sing-song tone while shutting your locker and getting ready to leave school for the day.

“You’re welcome, baby. I bought this for you.” he drops a little piece of candy inside your blazer pocket, standing a little too close, trapping you between his body and your locker. If he’s doing that to try to turn you on, it’s definitely working cause no matter how much of a douche he is, he’s still incredibly fucking hot. “You’re so pretty all the time. Can barely keep my eyes off you.” he grips your chin, tilting your head so you can look up at him while stroking your cheek with his thumb.

Instead of telling him to fuck off like you usually do, you played into it this time just for the fun of it. “Just wanna be pretty for you, Daddy” You blinked your lashes at him innocently, and he cursed under his breath, imagining you looking like that under him while he stuffed you full of his cock.

“Baby, you are so pretty.” he leaned down, giving you plenty of time to stop him, and when you didn’t, he placed a gentle kiss on your cheek. “Such a good girl getting all pretty for your daddy. I think you deserve a reward for that, don’t you?”

You reached your hand down, placing it on his cock, and you were surprised when you felt how hard he already was. “Please, Daddy,” you pouted, stroking his length up and down through his baggy blue jeans.

He didn’t show it, but he was in shock. Was he really gonna get a taste of you? After months of you rejecting and him trying to get at you, you were gonna let him have his chance just like that? Don’t get him wrong. He wasn’t complaining. He’s been wanting it for so so long. “Fuck baby, daddy’s going treat you real good.”

“You promise, Daddy?” You give him puppy eyes and a soft voice, watching him lose all his self-control by the second.

“Promise,” he moans when you squeeze him through his jeans. He ducks his head down, kissing on your neck. You knew you shouldn’t give your body to him but fuck it, he was hot. You heard he had a good dick game, and plus, after this, he’d leave you alone, so it’s a win-win. “Come on, little one time for your reward.”

He took you by your wrist, leading you to a vacant classroom. He quickly sat down in one of the many empty chairs. “On your knees for Daddy,” he smirks when you obey, lowering yourself onto your knees. He wonders what changed before you acted like you’d never give him the time of day, and now you’re willingly on your knees unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out of his boxers, but he really didn’t care what’s changed all that matters was your hand wrapping around his girth as you pump him slowly. “Hmm,” he groans, his hand going straight for your hair as he pushes some strands behind your ear. “You like it?” He whispers softly as you admire his fully hardened length that is dripping sticky precum.

You moaned. His dick was so pretty and pink. “yes, Daddy, so big” You looked up at him, eyes blinking innocently as you took in all of his inches, hollowing out your cheeks and breathing through your nose as you started bobbing your head the wet smacking sound’s immediately bouncing off the classrooms walls.

“Fuck you’re taking it so deep already” he spread his legs open further, and he couldn’t resist the urge to buck his hips a few times, gagging you with the tip. “Oh shit,” he gripped the back of your head, pushing down lightly to set a good pace. “That’s daddy’s good little princess.” he throws his head back, eyes closing shut while you continue pleasuring between his legs.

You put your hands on his thighs, squeezing them every time you gagged on his enormous cock.

Your moans reverberated all through his shaft, making everything feel so much more pleasing. “Faster,” he whispers, searching for his release as his cock drags along the length of your tight wet throat.

Your eyes began to water, and he simply swiped away the tears blurring your vision, continuously fucking his cock down your neck. “Almost there, pretty, doing so good, daddy.” All the other times he called you pretty or beautiful, it did absolutely nothing for you.

But you can’t say the same for right now. The rough hoarseness of his voice made you feel something in your lower tummy. Hearing him call you that while moaning and grunting was so attractive and embarrassingly enough, you could feel yourself leaking down there already.

“Fuck baby, how do you make it feel so good,” he says in awe this was by far the best head he’s ever received from anyone, and he was about to cum in record time. “Cumming baby,” he says through strained moans. His hips jerk up off the chair more than just a few times as his cum spurts out in white hot ropes. “Fuck yes,” he grits through his teeth while you keep sucking even after he comes, his body shuddering in bliss.

You savor the taste of his salty cum, and to you, that was the best reward you could have ever gotten.

He helped you off the ground, guiding your wet, messy core to sit on his lap. “You liking the reward so far?” he messily kisses your lips, the taste of his cum still lingering in your mouth, turning him on even more.

“Hmm, yes,” you said in between kisses.

“You’re gonna like it even more real soon” He reached between your bodies, pulling up your little skirt and pushing your soiled panties to the side so you could sit fully naked on his dick. “This pussy is so wet” he slides you back and forth on his cock, lubing himself in your arousal.

You moan into his mouth shamelessly, your body moving on its own as you hump his naked cock for some friction. “Please put it in” Your mind is spinning just from the feeling of his cock brushing against your clit. You’re so needy, so desperate for his cock that you don’t even need any prep to take him inside cause you were literally soaking.

“You sure you’re good? We only just started, princess” You bury your face in his neck, inhaling his cologne as you mumble out a tiny yes, slightly embarrassed by how wet you got just from sucking his dick. You could literally hear the sticky sounds your conjoined bodies made, and it was not discrete at all. “Okay,” he says breathlessly as you kiss and suck on his neck.

He pushed down on the base of his cock, pressing the tip on your entrance. “Up,” he commands, and you lift yourself up slightly while he lines you up perfectly. All you have to do now is sit down, and you’ll be stuffed full of him. “Down,” he breathes out, preparing himself to feel your sweet wet pussy.

A shaky breath leaves your lips as you wrap your arms around his neck, your legs trembling from the feeling of him being inside of you.

“There you go.” he kissed your temple as you sat down on him, and it felt like he was in your stomach. That’s how full you felt. “That’s it,” he sighs in pleasure.

“Heeseung,” you mewl, biting softly on his neck while slowly bouncing on his dick.

“Fuck ride it just like that” he spanked your ass, the sting making you clench tighter on his dick. “So fucking warm,” he grunts, hands squeezing your tight little ass helping you ride him.

Your brain was empty. The only thing you could focus on was his warm throbbing cock going in and out of your slick pussy so perfectly. “Oh my god daddy.”

“You like daddy’s cock, huh baby?” He whispers in your ear, breath heavy with lust as he sticks out his tongue, lapping at the shell of your ear.

You respond by standing on your tippy toes, gaining a better angle to ride him faster now, the sounds of your thighs colliding with his enter the room along with the rest of the lewd wet sounds your bodies produce. “Hmm, mmm fuck it just like that, there you go, bounce on that dick, princess” You pursed your lips, eyebrows furrowed as his tip burrowed itself deep in your cunt, and you don’t ever want him to pull out. You want his thick cock buried to the hilt inside you forever. He just felt too good for your kind to comprehend.

“Yeah? Like that daddy?” Your moans sound like they’re straight out of an adult film, and the way his cock twitches lets you know he’s feeling good.

“Yeah, just like that,” he grunts, one hand moving from your ass to your neglected clit, circling it so you can cum relatively close together cause he knows he gonna cave before you, and he can’t help it. Your pussy feels like magic. “Look at it” he smirks lazily and looks down to where his cock is splitting you right in two, and the sight is definitely one to see. You lowered your head, your forehead brushing against his as you see the filthy creamy mess between your bodies. “Daddy’s gotta cum, princess,” he whispers and searches for your lips, connecting them in the sloppiest kiss exchanging obscene amounts of saliva as you groan into each other's mouths like you just can’t get enough, and you really can’t cause it feels so good too fucking good for it to be over seconds later you spill around him gushes of your arousal coating his thick juicy cock while he spills inside you filling you up until there’s nowhere left for it to go except out of your clenching stretched hole.

He unexpectedly lifts you up effortlessly, laying you down on the table in front of him so he can fuck up into you and stuff you full of his cum, breeding you the way needs to his lips, never leaving yours for a second and no wonder why there’s so many rumors about him being good in bed because he is he so fucking big and so good this was literally the best sex you’ve ever had. “FUCK!” he breathes out, finally breaking the kiss and opting to nibble on your neck instead while he catches his breath because, wow, that was some really good fucking mind-blowing sex.

His thrusts come to a gradual stop, a few little whimpers and moans coming from the both of you as you fight to catch your breaths.

Neither of you two say anything while you gather your thoughts. When he turns soft, he slips out of you, his cum immediately running down your thighs, and you flush with embarrassment. His ears burn from the sight as he pulls his pants back up.

He looks around the room for something to clean you off with, but there’s nothing, so without much thought, he drops to his knees, tongue darting out to lick up the stream of his and your cum.

You gasp when you feel his hot tongue running along your thighs. He chuckles softly. You could barely comprehend what was actually happening, and before you knew it, he was pushing your panties back to their original spot and straightening out your skirt after his method of cleaning you up.

He stands up, licking his lips with a small smirk on his face. “All clean,” he smiles, quirking his brow. “So..” he placed his hands on your waist. “How about you let daddy take you out? Hmm, princess, what do you say?” He usually never even thought about dating the girls he hooked up with, but you, oh, he definitely needed to have you again and get to know you because, damn, you have the best pussy and mouth he’s ever felt, and maybe he felt a little something different with you than all the rest.

He goes in for another kiss, and you place your index finger on his forehead, pushing him back. “Not a chance,” you laugh straight in his face. His hands drop from your waist, and his smile soon drops as well.

He may have had a nice face and an ever nicer dick, but he was still a douche, one that you’d never find yourself ever getting involved with.

You make your way out of the empty classroom, blowing him a kiss on the way out, leaving him confused and speechless at your blatant rejection.

He wasn’t used to being rejected, given he hadn’t had a real relationship or ever even asked anyone out, and if he was being honest, it didn’t feel too good. He’s usually a confident guy, and he thought he looked fairly decent, so he assumed you’d say yes to him. Plus, you seemed to enjoy his company, but apparently, not that rejection was a little harsh, especially on his self-esteem, but he put that in the back of his mind. At least he got his one chance with you.

Permanent taglist🔖 @hoyeonheeseung @furious-eagle @heeseungssidechick @hee-pster

Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback. - 🐹

[mellowmusings]

death bed | coffee for your head

Azriel x sick reader part. 2

A/N- I had the idea for this when I heard the song and instead of sick Azriel I made a sick reader, please don't kill me and let me know if you wanna be tagged. Enjoy :). Warning- Angst, reader is depressed and sick, Azzie baby is depressed too. Mainly a really sad fic (mentions of death due to illness). Summary- You had been sick for sometime now and upon visiting a healer you find out the reason, unsure how much time you have left, you wish to spend every second of it preparing Azriel for the moment you leave.

'Don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed'

You were tired to say the least, for the past few nights you hadn't been able to sleep at all, and your sweet mate was worried sick for you, and so you had to change your plans for the day, ditching shopping for a visit to Madja instead.

A bell rang as you step into the healer's shop, the air was thick with the scent of dried herbs and incense, instantly calming your nerves. Soft light filters through the curtains, casting a warm glow on shelves cluttered with jars, vials, and bundles of plants you didn't recognize. The space felt ancient, yet welcoming, as if it held the quiet weight of countless healing rituals. A small wooden counter sat at the back, covered with bottles and unmarked potions. The faint sound of wind chimes hung in the air, but it’s the stillness that stood out—everything in this room felt intentional, designed to soothe, to listen. There attending to a small plant with the smallest flowers you had ever seen stood Madja.

Yeah, I don't wanna fall asleep I don't wanna pass away I've been thinking of our future 'Cause I'll never see those days I don't know why this has happened, but I probably deserve it I tried to do my best, but you know that I'm not perfect

You felt like throwing up, surely this was a joke? it had to be a joke, no she was lying or maybe you had misheard her, it had to be that way, right? "I know this can be shocking news y/n but like I said it's also a very rare illness" "No,no you're lying please tell me you're lying". She begged. Her voice broke on the last word, she couldn't breathe she felt choked, she wanted to throw up but instead she just fell to her knees and cried her heart out.

I've been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health When I leave this earth, hoping you'll find someone else 'Cause, yeah, we're still young, there's so much we haven't done Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son

She didn't know how long she spent crying there with Madja comforting her and stroking her back, she was in shock but more than that she was worried for Azriel, if something happened to her then- No, no she wasn't going to think about that right now but for some reason her thoughts kept circling back to Azriel, to the quiet that would fill the room when she was gone. He’d wake up, reach for her, and feel nothing but emptiness. The bed would be cold, the silence too heavy. He’d feel it in the small things—no more shared glances, no more soft words in the dark.

Would he be okay without her? She couldn’t shake the fear that the grief would swallow him, that the shadows he kept so tightly contained would consume him without her there to pull him back. Would the memories be enough, or would they slip through his fingers? The thought of him unraveling, of him breaking, made her heart ache in a way she couldn’t ignore. She wouldn’t be there to catch him, and that terrified her.

Her gaze caught on a lovely family in the park, children being chased by their dad, their mom laughing at the scene and smiling lovingly at her partner, right, she would never be able to have that with Azriel either. Maybe, one day he'll find someone else, who'd love him just as much as she did, someone who'd start a family with him, give him heirs as lovely as he is. She hoped so because if Madja was right then-

I wish it could be me, but I won't make it off this bed I hope I go to heaven, so I see you once again My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

Don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed, yeah

And I, don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed

Yeah, I'm happy that you're here with me I'm sorry if I tear up When me and you were younger, you would always make me cheer up Taking goofy videos while walking through the park You would jump into my arms every time you heard a bark

You lay back against the pillows, your chest rising and falling with every shallow breath. Azriel sat beside you, his fingers gently brushing over your hand, but the tension in the air was thick, suffocating. You could feel the worry in his touch, in the way he kept glancing at you, like he was afraid to miss something, afraid to lose you before he could even understand what was happening.

"Azriel," you whispered, your voice trembling as you gathered the courage to finally say the words. "I’m sick." You tried to keep your tone calm, but it cracked as soon as the words left your lips. "The healer said it’s a rare heart condition. Something... incurable."

His face froze, eyes widening with disbelief, and he leaned forward, as if to pull you into him, to somehow shield you from the world. But you didn’t want his protection right now. You wanted him to hear this. To know the truth, even if it shattered him.

"I wish it could be me," you continued softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. "I wish I could take it all. The pain. The time. But I—" You faltered, and the tears you had been holding back finally broke free. "I won’t make it off this bed, Azriel."

His hand tightened around yours, his breath shaky, but he said nothing, his eyes begging you to take it back, to tell him it wasn’t true. But you couldn’t. Not anymore.

"I hope I go to heaven," you murmured, forcing a small smile through your tears. "So I can see you again. One day, after this... after all of this."

Azriel’s face crumpled with pain, his eyes bright with unshed tears. He reached for you, pulling you close as if he could somehow hold you together, like he could make everything right if he just tried hard enough. "No," he whispered, his voice raw. "No, please. Don’t say that. Don’t leave me." It hurt to see the brave and stoic shadow singer crumble infront of you over such a small matter, he had faced death time and time again, but never had you seen him so broken.

You closed your eyes, savoring the feel of him holding you, but there was no denying it now. You couldn’t keep pretending. You couldn’t keep fighting against what you knew in your bones was coming.

"I’m not ready," you whispered, voice barely audible, "but I think... I think you need to be. This is the reality now, Love. I won’t have much time left."

Azriel held you tighter, but it was clear that he was barely holding on himself. You could feel his heart racing against yours, the fear, the love, the desperation. But you knew, deep down, there was no way to stop it.

"I just need you to be ready," you whispered, your voice barely a breath. "Because I won’t be here for long. I need you to promise me something, Az."

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his face a mask of agony, but he nodded, clinging to your every word.

"Promise me you won’t forget me," you said, the ache in your chest growing, but you didn’t want him to carry this burden forever. "Promise me you’ll live, not survive, but live, even if I’m not there."

He pressed his forehead to yours, and for a moment, it was like the world stopped moving. "I’ll never forget you," he said hoarsely. "And I’ll never stop loving you, not even after…"

You nodded, a tear slipping down your cheek, but you could feel the finality of it, the quiet acceptance in your soul that you had already said goodbye. "I know. But you have to promise me, Love. Please. Live, for both of us."

The words hung in the air between you, heavy, inevitable. And in that moment, you let go. You accepted what was coming, not with peace, but with a sorrow that was too vast to express.

Azriel didn’t say anything after that. He just held you, and in the silence of the room, you both faced what you knew was coming, as painful and unbearable as it was.

Cuddle in your sheets, sang me sound asleep And sneak out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03 Sundays went to church, on Mondays watched a movie Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me

You were curled up against Azriel, the quiet crackling of the fire the only sound in the room. He held you close, his warmth wrapping around you like a shield from the world. The memories flowed easily now, the ones you both cherished, the ones you were trying so hard to relive, to hold on to.

"Cuddle in your sheets," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, "like we used to, like we did so many times. You’d sing me to sleep, your voice soft, your hand in my hair."

Azriel’s thumb brushed over your skin as if committing the sensation of this moment to memory, the feeling of your body pressed against his. "I’ll sing you to sleep forever if I can," he replied, voice thick with emotion. "But you know... I think the best part was sneaking out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03. I used to look at the clock, and I knew you’d be there. We’d laugh, sneak away like we didn’t have a care in the world."

You chuckled softly, a tear slipping down your cheek at the thought. "Sundays, we went to church together. Mondays, we’d watch a movie, get lost in each other’s company. Simple, sweet. And it was ours." You pulled back slightly to look up at him, a small, sad smile on your lips. "I wish we had more of those Mondays."

Azriel's eyes softened with the weight of your words, his voice barely more than a broken whisper. "We still have now," he said, but even he knew the truth in the heaviness of his words. Time was running out.

You closed your eyes, trying to soak in every moment, every detail. You could feel the pain of the inevitable, but for tonight, for this brief moment, you clung to the idea that you could still make new memories. "But soon you'll be alone," you whispered, a sob escaping before you could stop it. "I’m sorry that you have to lose me."

Azriel’s grip on you tightened, his face pressing into your hair. "Don’t say that," he murmured, though his voice was thick with sorrow. "I’ll never lose you. Not really. Not in my heart."

You nodded, your body trembling in his arms. "I hope so," you whispered, holding him tighter. "But I’ll always love you. Every memory, every laugh, every quiet Sunday. I’ll carry those with me, even when I’m gone."

And for a moment, time felt still, like the universe had paused just long enough for you both to hold on to each other a little tighter, to try and make every second count before it was all gone.

Don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed

And I, don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed

Don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed

Azriel sat beside you, his hand resting gently on your own, the warmth of his touch a stark contrast to the chill that seemed to constantly settle in your bones. Your breathing was shallow, weak, each rise and fall of your chest an effort, and yet, despite it all, you smiled up at him. It was the kind of smile that told him you were fighting, even when it seemed like there was no fight left in you.

"I don't want you to stay awake for too long," you whispered, your voice thin, but still full of the love you carried for him. "I know you watch over me, but you need sleep too, Azriel." Your hand squeezed his, the action small but intentional.

He looked at you, eyes filled with an ache that ran deeper than the shadows that normally clung to him. His gaze searched your face, searching for something, anything that might bring you back to him, but there was nothing he could do to stop what was coming. His grip tightened, but he didn't speak. What could he say? Every word felt like a lie in the face of what you both knew was inevitable.

"You've been so strong," he finally whispered, voice hoarse. "Please, don’t give up on me now." His thumb stroked over your knuckles, as if grounding himself in the reality that, in his heart, he knew you were slipping away.

You let out a soft, raspy laugh, and though it was faint, it made him want to smile, even though the pain was consuming him. "I’m not giving up," you said, each word a battle, but the light in your eyes still bright enough to pierce through the darkness. "I’m just… trying to make the most of the time we have left."

Azriel closed his eyes for a moment, his chest tightening, but you gently cupped his cheek, urging him to look at you. "Don’t stay awake for too long," you repeated softly, your hand slipping into his as you pressed it over your heart. "Don’t go to bed, not yet. I’m still here. I’m still with you."

He leaned in, pressing his forehead to yours. You felt his warm breath on your skin, a small reminder of how much he loved you. How much he needed you.

"Let me take care of you," he murmured, his voice breaking. "Let me make you coffee in the morning, just like we used to. I’ll get you out of bed. I’ll help you find your strength again, just like before."

You smiled at him, the tears in your eyes blurring your vision. "I’ll make the coffee," you whispered, "when I can. I’ll make sure you get through it, even after I’m gone. I wrote you letters. Letters for the years to come, so you’ll know I’m still with you. So you’ll know that I’ll always love you, even when I’m not there."

Azriel’s heart shattered. "No," he said hoarsely, "No, you can’t leave me." His voice broke at the end, the rawness of his fear leaking through. You were fighting so hard, so fiercely, for him, but he couldn’t stop the truth from settling in his chest.

"You’ve always been my strength, Azriel," you whispered, your voice so soft, but so full of love. "And I’ll be yours, even when I’m not here to hold you. I need you to live. To keep fighting. And when the days feel long, when the nights feel too empty, I want you to read those letters. They’re for you. I’ll make sure you find your way."

Azriel couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He leaned down, kissing your forehead, his lips trembling against your skin. "I’m going to keep you here with me, in my heart. Forever. I promise. I won’t forget, I swear it."

You smiled through the tears, despite the weariness that clung to your body. "I’m not leaving you, Azriel," you whispered, "not really. Not ever."

But the truth, unspoken between you both, was that you didn’t have much longer. And still, you fought, not for yourself but for him, so he could have something to hold on to after you were gone.

"Please," he begged softly, his voice breaking, "don’t leave me."

You brushed a tear from his cheek, as your voice trembled, "I’ll never really leave you, Azriel. I’ll always be with you. In every letter, in every thought."

You paused, a soft, warm breath escaping your lips. "I’ll get you out of bed, Azriel," you whispered, a hint of a smile on your face, "I’ll get you going again. Even if I’m not there to see it."

His tears fell freely now, but there was a quiet peace in the way he held you—knowing, with an ache so deep it felt like it might swallow him whole, that he would carry you forever.

And I, don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed

A few weeks had passed, and the weight of each day was beginning to take its toll. The glow in your eyes had dimmed, and your breath came in shallow, uneven gasps. Azriel stayed by your side every moment, his presence constant, like a shadow you never wanted to be without.

He had been trying to hold on to the last threads of you, keeping the hope alive that maybe, somehow, you would pull through. But he knew. He knew with every soft breath you took, with every fleeting smile you gave him, that time was slipping away from both of you.

Today, though… today it felt like everything was slower. The air in the room was thick with an aching kind of quiet, the kind where even the heartbeats that echoed in the space between you seemed too loud.

Azriel sat on the edge of the bed, his arms around you, pulling you close like you’d always been. His fingers lightly traced the line of your jaw, like he could imprint your face into his soul if he touched you long enough. His lips pressed to your forehead, trying to pour every ounce of love and comfort he could into you, but it felt like it was never enough.

You had grown weaker. Your skin was pale, your breathing labored, but you still smiled at him when your eyes fluttered open.

"I’m still here," you whispered softly, your voice raspy but filled with the love you had for him. "I’m still here, Azriel."

He blinked back the tears that threatened to fall, his throat tight. "You don’t have to fight anymore," he murmured, brushing the damp strands of hair from your face. "I’ve got you. I’ll never let you go."

You smiled faintly, your hand reaching for his, weak but determined. "I know," you whispered. "I know… but I have to tell you something, something important."

Azriel leaned closer, his heart pounding in his chest. "Anything," he breathed. "Tell me anything, love. I’m listening."

"I wrote letters," you whispered, barely able to keep your eyes open. "For the years to come… For you. So you know I’ll always be with you, even when I’m not." He silently promised himself would read every letter you left behind, each one a piece of your love, keeping him alive in a world where you no longer were.

Azriel’s chest tightened, a sob breaking free from deep inside him. "You don’t have to go," he said, his voice raw, breaking with the weight of everything he wished he could say, everything he wished he could change. "I can’t… I can’t lose you."

A tear slipped down your cheek, but your smile didn’t fade. You reached up with trembling fingers, tracing the line of his jaw, as if trying to memorize him the way he had memorized you. "You’ll be okay, Azriel. You’re so strong. You’ve always been strong. Just—just remember that I love you. I always will."

His breath caught in his throat as he kissed your hand gently, his voice cracking. "I love you," he whispered, "I love you more than I could ever put into words."

You closed your eyes, your hand slipping from his, but he caught it again instantly, holding on as if it would keep you tethered to him, keep you from slipping away.

Your breathing grew even more shallow, each one taking more effort than the last. Azriel could feel the tremor in your body, the slow, inevitable shift that told him everything he feared was coming. But he didn’t let go. He couldn’t.

"I’m not ready to let you go," Azriel murmured, his voice hoarse, tears streaming down his face as he held you in his arms. "I’ve never been ready to let you go. Not now, not ever."

You gave him one last, gentle smile, your hand resting against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingertips. "You’ll always have me," you whispered, your voice barely a breath. "In every letter, in every thought, in every coffee you make. You’ll find me again, in the quiet moments. I’ll always be with you."

And then, as if your body had finally found peace, your chest stilled. Your breathing slowed, and for the first time in weeks, there was complete silence. Azriel’s heart shattered, his breath caught in his throat, and for a long moment, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe.

"No," he choked out, his voice breaking, his chest heaving with the weight of loss. "No, please…"

But there was no response. Only the soft, quiet sound of his heartbeat echoing through the silence, as if trying to fill the emptiness you left behind. His arms tightened around you one last time, as if holding you could bring you back, as if love could defy death.

For a long while, Azriel stayed there, clutching you to him, his tears falling onto your skin. He couldn’t let go. Not yet. He needed to hold you, to feel you close, to believe, for just a little longer, that you weren’t truly gone.

And in the stillness of the room, as the shadows of night stretched across the floor, Azriel whispered the only thing left in his broken heart.

"I’ll always love you. Always."

The room was silent. Still. But his words lingered in the air, a promise he would carry with him forever.

And I, don't stay awake for too long Don't go to bed I'll make a cup of coffee for your head I'll get you up and going out of bed

Azriel stood at the edge of the balcony, staring into the endless void of night. The stars above seemed to mock him, distant and cold, twinkling as though the universe was still moving forward, as though life was continuing. But for him, everything had stopped.

The wind swept through the courtyard, its icy fingers clawing at his skin, but it was nothing compared to the cold that had settled deep in his chest, in his soul. He had not moved from that spot since… since that moment. The moment she had slipped away from him, her final breath trembling in his arms, leaving nothing but an echo of the love they had shared. The world felt like a hollow, silent place, and he was drowning in its emptiness.

He could still smell her, faintly. Her scent lingered in the air, in the folds of the blanket she had used to curl up in, in the spaces between the letters she had written him, all the things that were now gone—faded into the dust of the world she had left behind.

Her letters. He had read them, over and over, each one a tear-streaked page of her love for him, a love he could no longer feel against his skin, in her touch, in her smile. He had read her last words, over and over, searching for some kind of comfort. But the comfort never came. The words she had left behind—I’ll always be with you, Azriel—only left him feeling more alone. Her absence was a shadow that consumed everything.

"I’ll always be with you," he muttered bitterly to the darkened sky, as if the universe owed him something. "Where the hell are you now?"

He wanted to scream. To shout into the abyss that had taken her from him, to demand it give her back. But what was the point? The universe didn’t care. Time didn’t care. And now, all that was left was his hollow existence.

The days blurred together, the ache of her absence cutting deeper with every passing hour. He had stopped sleeping, stopped eating. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything but exist, moving through each day as if in a fog. The shadows whispered her name—her voice, her laughter, the warmth of her skin against his—and all he could do was shut his eyes and pretend he didn’t hear them.

But the silence… the silence was the worst.

Everywhere he went, there were reminders. The empty corner of the room where her chair used to sit, the books she had loved scattered across the table, the coffee mug she had left on the counter—his mug now, though it meant nothing. All of it was just a reminder that she was gone, and he was left alone, trapped in a world where nothing made sense without her. Without her laughter, without the way she’d tease him in the mornings, the soft way she’d press her face to his chest when she needed comfort.

She had been everything to him. His light, his warmth, his reason to fight. And now…

The darkness pressed in on him, a crushing weight on his chest. His wings, once majestic and powerful, now felt like an anchor. He had no use for them anymore. They had carried him through battles, through pain, through moments of glory. But now they felt like a reminder of how empty he was. How much of a shell he had become.

The weight of the silence was unbearable. He could feel the crushing loneliness clawing at him, desperate to consume him whole. And as he stood there, staring out into the endless night, he almost wished for it to. He almost wished for the silence to swallow him, to take him with her, because what was the point of living in a world where she wasn’t there?

“I can’t keep doing this,” he whispered to the darkness, his voice cracking. His breath came in short, uneven bursts, each one a reminder that he was still alive—still breathing, even though every part of him screamed to be gone. To be where she was, wherever that was, because life without her felt like a slow, torturous death.

He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it as if the physical pain would distract him from the ache in his chest. But it didn’t. Nothing could.

The weight of everything pressed on him—the guilt, the anger, the regret. He had promised her, promised her, that he would take care of her, that he wouldn’t let her go. But in the end, he had failed. He hadn’t been enough to save her. And now, she was gone, and all he had left were the memories. The hollow echoes of her voice, her laughter, her touch.

“I wasn’t enough for you,” he whispered, a raw, broken sob escaping him. His knees buckled, and he crumpled to the ground, his wings folding around him like an armor of despair. “I couldn’t save you. And now… now I have nothing.”

He curled into himself, his arms wrapping around his knees, his head pressed against them as the tears came in waves. His body trembled with the force of it. Every sob was like a shard of glass digging deeper into his heart, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

The world had moved on. The stars had continued to shine. The wind had continued to blow. But for Azriel, it had all stopped. Because she was gone, and no matter how many times he whispered her name into the darkness, no matter how many times he begged for her to come back, he knew the truth.

She was gone. And he was broken beyond repair.

Time would pass, the seasons would change, but none of it mattered. Nothing mattered without her.

And as the silence closed in around him, Azriel made a vow to the shadows, to the darkness that now felt like home.

He would never forgive himself. He would never forget the way she had died in his arms, the way he couldn’t save her. And as the cold night wrapped itself around him, he whispered through clenched teeth, “I’ll make the world pay. I’ll make everything pay for taking you from me.”

But even as the words left his lips, he knew they wouldn’t bring her back.

And he would have to live with that.

Taglist: @anarchiii @er1023 @siriuslystyle1989 @velarisdusk @scorpioriesling @starlightazriel

[love-belle]

when i said we could be friends, guess i lied !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them trying to be friends and failing miserably.

or

for when you can't forgive and forget so fuck you and fuck that is the way to go. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // carlos sainz x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - posting this bc i promised y'all i will!!!! only one part of this series left before i start with all of their second parts!!!!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by francisca.cgomes, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 788,626 others

yourusername "the grudge" is now officially yours <3 !! it took me exactly 178 days to complete this song and it's easily one of the most vulnerable and raw songs i have ever written. every feeling i have felt for the past few months is sewn into words and i hope you all like it just as much as i do. i love you <3

13,628 comments

username WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

username oh my god

username my undying LOVE now i hold it like a GRUDGE

username this has ruined me wtf

username no bc how can she write "it takes strength to forgive but i don't feel strong" and expect us all to be okay??????

username WE 💔 BOTH 💔 DREW 💔 BLOOD 💔 BUT 💔 MAN 💔 THOSE 💔 CUTS 💔 WERE 💔 NEVER 💔 EQUAL 💔

-> username she's never reaching the pearly gates for this

username carlos sainz i will haunt u in ur dreams

francisca.cgomes such a raw and heartfelt song!! felt every second of this!!

*liked by yourusername*

username i miss the drivers in her comments section :////

-> username carlos really snatched the most iconic friendships from us

-> username fr like give me my charles and y/n, lando and y/n, daniel and y/n, MAX AND Y/N back

username carlos i am in ur walls

username I TRY TO BE TOUGH!!!!!!! I TRY TO BE MEAN!!!!!!! BUT EVEN AFTER ALL THIS UR STILL EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!

username 178 days.........THEY BROKE UP EXACTLY 178 DAYS AGO

username i need this song injected in my brain

username no bc i thought it'd be a song about revenge or like shitting on him but this makes me wanna die whatcthrbfuck ur paying for my therapy

lilymhe so proud of you 💌

*liked by yourusername*

username i NEED all the drivers to comment in this post stat so i can know that they're all friends 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

username DO YOU THINK I DESERVED IT ALLLLL

-> username YOUR FLOWERS FILLED WITH VITRIOL

-> username YOU BUILT ME UP TO WATCH ME FALL

-> username YOU HAVE EVERYTHING AND YOU STILL WANT MORE

username how could anybody do the things u did so easily 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

-> username no bc if i catch him out on streets it's on SIGHT

username she genuinely looked so sad in her ig live i wanted to cry for her 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

username the fact that carlos broke up with her over CALL like mf at least do it with ur chest

alexandrasaintmleux 🤍🤍🤍

*liked by yourusername*

username is it js me or this feels like the end of y/n's friendship with the drivers and their partners like they haven't liked this post and only a few wags did and while they also commented, y/n did not reply to them

-> username no bc i will actually CRY if that happens 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username "it takes strength to forgive but im not quite sure im there yet" fuck forgiving if i was y/n i would SWING

username i honestly thought that they'd make it like they were just SO real

-> username they were together for 6 years EVERYONE thought that they'd make it

carmenmmundt 🫶🏼

*liked by yourusername*

username PLEASE IM SCREAMINGGG WHAT THE FUCK

username y/n ur paying for my therapy sessions

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 799,526 others

carlossainz55 when i said we could be friends, guess i lied

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 798,627 others

yourusername you have everything and you still want more

comments are disabled for this post

[ghouldump]

Girlll did you delete your last fic? Whyyyy I was about to read it😭😭

Your Best Nightmare | Lestat de Lioncourt x Reader

ෆ being away from your companion, as both of you take on stardom, can be frustrating, but it is very rewarding to see your maker for the first time in months.

(anon asked for bi!reader w/ crossdressing lestat and if possible some nsfw content)

girl, somebody messaged me and said it was weird and i was confused like you watched a show with vampires killing people like bffr, but ig i’ll repost bc somebody else asked too 😂

The crowd seemed more lively than ever, screaming the frightening lyrics, but paid them no mind. Humans, despite having dominion over nearly every species, were quite stupid. They all had things they liked, they idolized, and in many of their eyes, it didn't take much to seem trustworthy to them. A quick photo of you holding the cheek of a beautiful mortal, and overnight, you were a national treasure — proof that vampires were not a danger.

Vampires, although people of the night, were only bound by their circumstances, and if there were others, they deserved the privilege to reveal themselves. It was cute, really, the same songs that were once deemed monstrous, alarming, and cultish, were now innovative, you were now an icon, like your lover, the vampire Lestat, you were simply adding your contribution to rock culture. However, they didn't even realize, all of them were wrong. They couldn't be more wrong about everything.

I'm your best nightmare,” you sang, as the audience joined you.

And then it happened, you were in my arms

Your lips on my throat- your hands on my, on my...

Two bodies together, the intimate sin

The pain and the pleasure, could do mortals in

How could you know, what I'm thinking of

To me lust can be, as beautiful as love

Here tonight, your pure heart and soul

Untainted passion should have no control

She asked me if I...

I told her the truth

I said "I'm sorry, it takes me, longer than you"

She smiled and blushed, and continued to grind

And promised to make me, go out of my mind

Returning her promise, she, came to a halt

Licking my lips, I, tasted her salt

Then she sat up and gasped and clutched at her breast

I thought she was coming- I'd never have guessed that

As she grew pale, as white as a flower

She collapsed to the floor and was dead in an hour

Hearing the humans singing along to the deranged song, you nearly laughed. Too foolish to grasp the very lyrics, escaping their mouths. A song about your very first hunt, alone. Delilah, the name itself brought a nostalgic tingle to your tongue.

You remember the night utterly, from the time you stumbled out of your coffin, to you crawling back in. You sat alone at the bar, The Dungeon, a frequent spot for tourists when she caught your eye. Dancing against her friend, they both laughed loudly, singing along to the music. Her skin was flawless, her makeup dark, with an incredibly flattering dress, hugging her curves beautifuly.

Just from staring alone, you almost held your throat from how thirsty you were. Standing up, you approached her, her friend nudging her, their eyes shifting to you.

"Hey," she smiled, briefly biting her lip.

"Hey," you repeated, peering into her thoughts, not a single piece was left unattainable from your view.

"Are you here alone?" she asked you, her friend whispering that she was going back to their group of friends, to give her privacy.

"I'm afraid I am," you smiled, as she moved closer, tilting her head.

"Then I'll have to keep you company"

"I'm very difficult to entertain"

"That's because you haven't met me," she giggled.

"Ah, I see, and what is the name of the woman I've waited for?" you asked her.

"Delilah"

"Very beautiful-

"Please, I was named after my grandmother," she said, smiling as you chuckled.

"I'm Y/n," you said, holding out your hand, shaking hers.

"Would you like to get out of here? Maybe have some fun at my place?" you asked, leaning closer, to glamour her.

"Yes, I'd love to," she smiled.

"Good girl, why don't you tell your friends that you're headed back to your hotel for tonight, because you're tired, and I'll meet you outside," you winked, watching as she went to the group of friends.

It wasn't much longer before you were both nude, her moans only continued to arouse your longing appetite. Her gentle kisses, and promises to rock your world, as her orgasm drew near — it only made you want to rip her to pieces more. Holding her soft hips, you felt your fangs emerging before you began to suck from her breast. She panicked for only a moment, choosing to follow along with your erotic behavior.

"I'm coming," she cried, grinding against your thigh. Her breathing hitched, feeling your cool fingers near her glistening pearl.

"You taste just as good as you look," you whispered, staring down, as you hovered over her.

"Your turn," she giggled, her eyes still shut. If only she had opened her lovely raven eyes, to see the monster in front of her. Blood dripping from your mouth, as you stared at her, seeing her for nothing more than she could ever be to you, food.

"Unfortunately, you won't get the honor, tonight, as your life is coming to an end," you said, and just as she was able to open her eyes, you lunged forward.

Draining her, you could sense her heartbeat, hear her thoughts, and feel the sensation of her nails clawing into your back. It was all euphoric, you were a monster, you could admit, and you loved every bit of the thrill, of experiencing such an occasion, with stunning humans.

As the final song came to an end, you waved, bowing at the arena of people, the music fading, as the stage lowered, giving the illusion that you were disappearing. Going backstage, you thanked your team for working so hard for the tour, before you changed clothing — and headed to your hotel. You intended to catch your flight tonight, but with the concert ending so late, you couldn't take the risk, as the sun was bound to rise in the next hour or two.

Although you felt impatient, you would have to wait another night, before you could catch the private jet to New Orleans, to him. Lestat de Lioncourt, your muse, maker, lover, and companion. He turned you nearly 40 years ago and you have been inseparable ever since.

With the both of you busy with your careers, the two of you promised that it would be fine to have flings on the side, as long as there were no feelings attached — not that you would be able to feel anything for another anyway. You had yet to meet another as passionate, as he.

As the driver stopped the car, you quickly made your way into the building, as the sunrise began to peak from behind the buildings.

"Good morning, miss Y/n," the receptionist smiled, batting her eyelashes as you looked her way.

"Morning," you winked, before entering the elevator.

Going to your floor, you stopped for a moment, seeing Amanda, your assistant, standing at the door, it only meant one thing, groupies. Your team sometimes selected women and men, bringing them to your room. Your publicists emphasized how important it was for you to not be seen hunting, and you were simply playing your role.

"Thank you, Amanda, why don't you go get some rest?" you spoke, grinning as she jumped, glancing over at you.

"Yes, of course, sleep well," she nodded, practically running to the elevator.

Opening the door, you squinted, trying to allow your eyes to adjust to the dim room. The blackout curtains blocking any potential sunshine. Hearing the sound of the faucet running in the bathroom, you entered and shut the door. Taking note that you couldn't hear any thoughts, you looked around for a handbag or wallet, to identify the person, just as the bathroom door opened.

Gasping, you couldn't contain the large smile, as Lestat exited the bathroom, he wore a black bralette, cheeky knickers, and a silk robe on top. His blond waves looked even more luscious than usual, with a light pink gloss on his lips and blush.

"You came to California, to see me," you said, trying to swallow the emotions bubbling inside. You felt so elated, seeing him for the first time in months.

"I couldn't go another day away from you, chéri," he confessed, as you moved closer, embracing him. Mumbling a low, "baby", while he held you near, placing a kiss on your lips.

"You look so pretty," you giggled, as he pecked your lips again.

"I had to look my best to get your attention, I've seen the woman that come to your shows," he smirked.

"They don't stand a chance, next to you," you said, as he stared longingly into your eyes.

"I missed you," he finally said.

"I missed you too," you said, as those words were all he needed to hear before his lips were connected to yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth.

Biting down on your lip, he groaned, lifting you in the air, walking over to the bed, before breaking the kiss — as you peeled each article of clothing away, your eyes set on his piercing blue ones.

"This is so cute," your eyes twinkle, as he removed the robe, the obvious bulge in his panties catching your attention. Sitting on the bed, in front of him, he went to his knees. Kissing your lips, he moved down your neck, holding your waist, as you arched your back. "Love," you moaned, feeling his breath against your skin, causing goosebumps.

Laying back, you bit your lip, as his mouth traveled south. Kissing your glistening pearl, before hungrily consuming her. Your fingers found their way to his blonde tresses. Your eyes could hardly stay open, as his tongue repeatedly lapped over your cunt.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you moaned loudly, "I'm so close," you said, the orgasm escaping, as his long fingers moved up to your breast - caressing them.

"I wasn't sure how much longer I could take, being away from you," he spoke, as you agreed, pulling him close to kiss his lips, smearing the lip gloss on his pale skin.

"Take this off, please," You tugged on the bralette, you needed every part of him, bare.

As he stood, you grinned, exploring his toned body. He kept his usual sultry eye contact, as he slowly removed the lingerie, purposely teasing you.

"Lestat," you whined, giggling.

"Patience is a virtue, ma chéri," he smirked, as he approached you, bound to another night of sharing his endless love with you.

"Fuck Patience, I need you now," you groaned, making him laugh.

"Anything for you"

in the original post, i explained that all of the upcoming posts won't be released in a particular order, since i’m working on everything in my drafts.

[redrandomposts]

till narrowly missing ivan in every universe, either literally or figuratively, makes me giggle and cry at the same time AUUHSHSJSH if he was a regressor/reincarnator and og/alnst!till was watching his later incarnations, mans would be bald from tearing his hair out in frustration

"LOOK BACK MF LOOK BACK, YOU JUST MISSED HIM"

"THATS NOT WHAT HE MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO HAVE YOUR NTH SEXUALITY CRISIS, IVAN IS MOVING AWAY TOMORROW. MOVE IT"

and imagine his previous incarnations from other failed lifetimes watching the current lifetime with him and theyre all in the same frustrated state 😭

"can we PLEASE have one lifetime where we dont end up breaking his heart ? can we PLEASE—"

— 🌦️

HAHAHAHAHA LMAOOOOO

doomed lovers and tills watching it all happen, kicking and screaming

everytime an incarnation pops up in their little hell, he is kicked and beaten up and treated as a less-than-human being until the next one meets ivan. and then they're too focused watching how till (yes, that's you, a dumbass) misses every smile and glimmer of eyes and heartbreak that ivan shows.

"what the fuck?! what's he doing?! ivan is right there, don't go hitting on her - fuck! who is that idiot!"

"that idiot is you! do you remember how you made ivan your best man at your wedding?!"

"says the one had an arranged marriage with him then went to war and came home in love with a nurse!"

"all of you are idiots!"

and none of the tills know og till's backstory. most of the time he's writing songs and playing the guitar, as all of them do, but in a more extreme way. there's a little library with all the songs the tills have made, each shelf a different life. og till's is a whole bookshelf, but the ones about ivan only starts after he first appeared here.

(there's also the songs each and every ivan has made about till, for till, to till. those are treated much better than the ones the tills haphazardly throws into their respective shelves. they're encased in gold and glass, just as unattainable as ivan seems to be.)

extra reactions according to some of my aus (except it's all the bad ends and ooc??):

omegaverse

"...what the fuck?"

"WHAT'S A PHEROMONE?! ALPHA? THAT'S SO CRINGEY? WTF"

"GUYS!!! IVAN CAN BE PREGNANT-"

"-SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-"

"holy fuck"

"it was indeed a fuck"

"did you know ivan could moa-"

"fucking hell we're all tills we're all here we all know!"

"BLOOD! GET A TISSUE YOU FREAK-"

"HALF OF US HAVE NOSEBLEEDS WDYM"

"please please please till hE IS PREGNANT-"

"..."

"what the fuck."

"HE'S DEAD?"

"guys i don't ever wanna get ivan pregnant if that's what's going to happen"

android au

"...he owns ivan..?"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR?? WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO DESERVE IVAN??"

"surely they fall in love, right?"

"don't fucking jinx it, you moron!"

"ivan's so cute... look! he's cutting the veggies into flowers!"

"hey! till! say thank you to ivan!!"

"ugh, can't he just get out the studio so i can see ivan??"

"till, can't you just be a stay at home musician?!"

"aww!! aren't those flowers in the stitching?"

"oh my god ivan hand sewed him clothes?!"

"that's not fair! ivan! you can't just give things to the idiot! or else!! ...or else."

"...you fucking jinxed it!!! ivan!!! you can't die!"

"how'd i know that they'd just shoot and never stop shooting?"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM??"

"i'll fucking BEAT THEM UP I SWEAR."

"??? why's he only just checked the cameras now since he got ivan?"

"...ivan's voice is so heavenly."

"..."

zombie au

"is it another boring one? haven't we already seen till and ivan have normal lives and drift apart or something else?"

"maybe this time, till will..."

"shut UP! CROW'S MOUTH, I SWEAR"

"nevermind that is nOT NORMAL FUCK"

"OH MY GOD HE IS ROTTING AND MOVING??"

"IVAN GET AWAY FROM THERE -"

"...ivan?"

"FUCK! HE DID IT AGAIN!"

"TILL YOU FUCKER GO BACK FOR HIM!!"

"...at least we still have ivan."

"...and till knows he loves ivan."

"...and they kissed."

".....oh fucking hell, why are you so happy?! ivan's basically till's dog! till doesn't deserve him!"

"well, as long as they cure ivan, they'll be together for real, right?"

"..."

"YOU FUCKING JINXED IT-"

"WHY'D THAT RANDO JUST SHOOT IVAN???

mermaid au

"oh my god he's a fish -"

"- ivan looks like a prince!"

"??? how can you be so rude to ivan!"

"why are his thoughts so weird? ivan's a human, not some pearl! he has dignity!"

"he's much better than some pearl, too."

"till knows he loves ivan, right??? surely??? with those thoughts..."

"i wanna see ivan's eyes...."

"i wanna see ivan's smile..."

"fuck! till, just speak to him god damnit!"

"oh my god!!! ivan!!!"

"??? where's his fishy parts?? ow, don't hit me-"

"...he looks so fine."

"hey! he's sixteen! you are definitely not sixteen, you fucking homewrecker!!"

"homewrecker?! i didn't cheat!!"

"you wrecked your and ivan's house life!"

"what?"

"where'd the letter come from??"

"how's there sea foam???"

"IVANNNN!"

"HE'S DEAD? JUST LIKE THAT?"

"HE DESERVED MORE YOU FUCKER-"

===

anyways im going to edit my masterlist to be better ig

[punkpandapatrixk]

🌈Would You Marry Me, Honey? ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Ideally, we’d hope for our Future Spouse to be the only person we would ever be married to🎎Having said that, this reading isn’t catering to a Future Spouse aenergy; this reading is entertaining the idea of a dharmic Soulmate who’s destined for our Highest Intended Good.

Our Destined Person—he or she whose soul essence lights up the whole world after we’ve learnt to light up our own world with Love towards ourselves🥰

To those of you reading this who had been married before or are currently bound to a weird loveless contract, please know this reading is still for you in whatever way it resonates for you🌷We all deserve to be happier and happier still at whatever stage of Life we’re in. It isn’t greed we’re talking about; it’s knowing everybody deserves to find Love in the end💝

And aaa~ happy holidays, Witches~!🎄

SONG: I’m Glad There Is You by Julie London

MOVIE: How To Marry A Millionaire (1953)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Making A Soft Bed of Flowers with You

VIBE: Schatze Page & Tom Brookman

why I was attracted to you – 9 of Pentacles

Umm…you’re kinda giving off this coldass bitch boss aura that sends news to the entire town that you ain’t needing nobody in your Life. You’re so ULTRA independent it actually scares the living shit out of normal people XD You’re too powerful; too resourceful in your aloneness; too successful in your solitude; damn, are you sure you haven’t got an army of jealous bitches wishing ill upon you?? There are IT girls whom all girls want to be and guys want to be with, but you’re a whole different game, hon.

Girls know they can’t be you however much they pay! Guys know they can’t ever bend you however much they hate that you won’t pick them! Your aenergy is weird…you’re too happy…too authentic. The wrong people can only shake their heads in disbelief, gossiping that there must be something shady you’ve done in Life for you to be this real, this successful without being an ass-licker.

At the top of your game, you make the news go round and round you’re making them money from talking non-stop about you. That’s when your Destined Person hear about you and fell in love with your character. You’re swag, or something. You’re savage and honest. They fucking LOVE that you’re an unbreakable bitch boss. You can be a bitch boss to the world, but to your Destined Person, you’re a Goddess of Realness! And that’s rare AF. You’re a true gem. Finally, an equal to them!

how I fell in love with you – King of Cups

Well, in spite of how you appear to the world, your Destined Person was able to see beyond the façade. You act tough and all that but you have a kind and generous soul. People can’t be strong all alone for so long. If anything, the way you appear strong and unshakable incites your Destined Person’s protective nature LOL Your Destined Person has a big heart and wants to nurture. I think their love language might be gifts and attention just because they really like to give. They will give you all their money and attention LMAO

The main reason they fell in love with you is that you’ve inspired them to get even more in touch with their sensitive side. When your Destined Person sees or talks to you, their minds are opened to new ways to express their emotions. It is because you’re eloquent and you have a great library of words to impart your thoughts and feelings. Your Destined Person thinks you’re inhumanly intelligent and so new wave! Whatever that means XD

They also see that you, too, have a big heart. That you’re more understanding than anybody they’ve ever met. Below the iceberg castle you’ve built to protect yourself, you have an entire flower kingdom of kindness and care. It is your generous nature, your heart your Destined Person truly fell in love with. You’re gutsy and talented; you’re honest and courageous; but most of all, you are a genuine Lover with a divine heart and your Destined Person wants that for themselves…

Umm…with this King aenergy…I think your Destined Person is a possessive and territorial style? ^_^;

when I knew you were The One – Ace of Pentacles

Buhahahah… I think your Destined Person knew you were The One from the very beginning. From the moment they were intrigued by you, they already knew you were made for them! Not saying they never had moments they doubted themselves, especially when it comes to whether or not they are deserving of someone mega awesome as you, but they were head over heels from the get go. They couldn’t deny this attraction and they thought, whether or not they’re the marrying type, if they ever want to spend the rest of their days with someone that would have to be YOU~

When they met you…or got to know you (before meeting)…your Destined Person had been wanting to have a new beginning of sort. I think their Life was already secure and they’d achieved quite a great deal in Life. But that security felt fleeting. They wanted to offer all this greatness to someone. Your Destined Person is undoubtedly a lover LOL They want to be in a loving relationship. They want to share their Life, their riches, their comfort with someone. Obviously, it’s YOU~

With this Pile, rather than the idea of your Destined Person needing time to decide on you…it’s more like they actually had to stop themselves from creeping you out by not proposing to you on your first date! LMAO This is a Ted Mosby saying ‘I LOVE YOU’ on his first date with Robin kinda vibe. Something along those lines. Just pretend you didn’t know they already wanted to marry you from the beginning, hon XD Your whole courtship might feel awkward but cute because your Destined Person struggles a lil with behaving like they’re not crazy about you LMAO

I LOVE YOU🔻💙

in sorrow and in sickness – Gold Historian (Raphael Holinshed)

I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Patience

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – I Could Tell You Were So Much More Than Your Silence

VIBE: Pola Debevoise & Freddie Denmark

why I was attracted to you – 3 of Pentacles Rx

When your Destined Person first saw you, they noticed that you were distant, rather aloof. Not sure if it was shyness or something else. Depending on your Destined Person’s base psychology or the environment they were brought up in, your Destined Person either thought you were a bitch, unfriendly, or they simply wondered by you were THAT shy, THAT quiet. I think it’s possible the day you met them you simply weren’t in a jolly mood, so you were rather uncommunicative.

Be THAT as it may, your Destined Person ain’t a bitch and if anything they were attracted to your coolness. There is something in your aura, your vibe, your body language, that tells them…you were so much more than your unfriendliness. Perhaps it’s in your gentle gesture, perhaps it’s in the way you gaze at someone else, but your Destined Person could tell, you’re a sensitive person who’s careful with who you get friendly with.

Your Destined Person saw…felt, rather…that you must be a compassionate, empathetic person who would make them feel safe. They could tell that you were society’s outcast of sort, that you were not generic, and that because of this you weren’t the type to quickly judge somebody without knowing their story first. Your Destined Person admires that about you. They think you have high morality and that although you aren’t always smiley or anything, for the most part, you’re really a polite person who’s such a delight to talk to once you feel comfortable with someone.

how I fell in love with you – 8 of Pentacles

Your Destined Person could tell that you’re somebody who’s battled your own inner demons. You’ve worked hard on yourself to be the superior version of yourself. And because you’re naturally kind and very keen on human psychology, your Destined Person saw that you’re the type that can easily understand other people’s crazy. That’s why you’re kind, quiet, and for the most part, patient with other people. You’re cool because you understand the world—you’re based. But you’re also aloof because you understand that most Humans are a waste of time LMAO

Your Destined Person thinks you’re the coolest person who’s ever walked on Earth! This is kinda telling me either your Destined Person is a few years younger than you or they could’ve come from a rather easy background so the maturity of their psychology is behind you XD Do you have significant Scorpio placements? Anyway, your Destined Person is charmed by your maturity, deep knowledge about uncommon things, and that once they get you talking, like whoa, your knowledge and perspectives are SO interesting. They could hear you talk for weeks on end.

Obviously, your Destined Person feels inspired by you. They also feel you’re the safest person they could talk to. If anything, you help them overcome their own demons or pains from the past. When they talk with you, they understand themselves better and they love that your perspectives on people and things are genuinely rooted in your desire to comfort and heal. They think you’re deeply spiritual but based, realistic and pragmatic, and before they could put words to it, they’ve already fallen in love with your character🥰

when I knew you were The One – Knight of Cups

I do see that it takes a bit, juuust a biiit, of time for your Destined Person to know you were The One for them, forever. Personally, they themselves are quite wary of people so just because they were curious and subsequently friendly towards you, didn’t mean they wanted to marry you immediately. Which, all things considered, is very sweet because when you met your Destined Person, when you noticed they were trying to get to know you, they were genuine! They weren’t just trying to get into your pants or wanting other superficial things from you.

Your Destined Person, I feel, is a very charming and handsome person. They’re likely popular, too. I think they know a lot of people, have a large family or perhaps have multiple large circles of people they know, so in that sense, they’re not the type of person who’s needing people just to fill in some kind of emptiness inside. They’re very genuine with you and in trying to get to know you, if anything, they’re the one who wants to offer you something precious: their attention and affection. There’s something poignant about you that makes them feel ultra-protective and they genuinely love that feeling of becoming a true romantic in your presence.

I LOVE YOU🔻🧡

in sorrow and in sickness – Green Magus (John Dee)

I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Inspiration

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Oh, Dreamy Beauty, You Elevate My Dreams

VIBE: Loco Dempsey & Eben

why I was attracted to you – Page of Wands

‘Okay, I’m not trying to be creepy or anything but damn you’re SEXY.’ Your Destined Person was first and foremost attracted to your beauty—your sex appeal, to be precise. They find you incredibly sexy…but why the goddamn hell are you cute?? Is that allowed? Little did they know that this appeal is actually your authentic soul. You’re actually a lot more honest than you give yourself credit for. You live Life quite honestly and you’re just being yourself. You don’t really give a damn if people find your essence offensive. ‘I’m not everybody’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly acceptable to me—so what are you gonna do about it?’

Though you’re strong like that on one hand, on the other you’re also quite stupid because you trust people too easily! At least your Destined Person sees you this way. They think, because you’re always honest you could fall into the trap of believing everybody is just as honest, as straightforward as you, which, most people aren’t! Plenty of people are sneaky and dangerous! And your Destined Person noticed this and felt a pull towards protecting you… *why don’t we have a melting heart emoji?*

Your Destined Person felt a pull to be there for you, protecting your Light, your innocence, your joy and happiness. I feel your Destined Person is actually quite a thinker, but when they were drawn to you, as if falling into a trance they couldn’t follow logic anymore. They were drawn in by your passion and delightful personality and before they knew it, they felt like they’d been swallowed whole by your flame🔥

how I fell in love with you – Queen of Pentacles

You’re a wholesome character and that much was apparent to your Destined Person right after they’ve got to know you a bit better. How quickly your Destined Person fell in love with you varies with this Pile, but some digging, some getting to know each other, and some learning is definitely required with this connection. Essentially, the moment your Destined Person learns that you’re so much more than how you look, they couldn’t help but develop genuine feelings for you. It’s a Soul-based kind of Love that transcends human ego.

I feel like your Destined Person could even shed a tear from realising just how much they care about your wellbeing. It’s pure like that and I promise you they’re not so used to feeling that typa feeling for just about anybody! As much as they see you as this very unique, very strong character in your own right, they want to be there to protect your heart. If your Destined Person is a masculine person, they will also want to protect your body and provide for you. They want to make things easier for you! They’re willing to make sacrifices to give the whole world for you, simply because you’re worth it.

Your Destined Person loves how you’re essentially the main character of your own world and…they want to be part of that world? XD They don’t mind being a side character in your world whom you fall for. I think this person could be younger than you or they’re simply not that mature yet emotionally or spiritually! What they love most about you is how you’re literally the most unique, resourceful, strategizing character who knows how to build your own world from scratch! You’re literally the most wholesome character they’d ever known throughout their Life. And they want a part in that world you’ve built with so much love and care. Now, they want to care for you…

when I knew you were The One – 10 of Wands Rx

Let it be known that your Destined Person is quite an intense bitch LMAO When they love, they love with all of their being and their devotion is no joke. This ain’t a playa over here. Or at least…when it comes to YOU, they ain’t got no game. Trust me. You must’ve done or said something that completely changed your Destined Person’s entire view on love and relationships. I betcha you’re the type of intense bitch who’d never settle for anything less than real Love. And that literally brushed off on your Destined Person. In the beginning, they went to war with themselves over this notion of real Love with a capital L.

They never really knew what Love was all about or if they were even deserving of Love. Just like everybody else, they had a very silly take on romance—this is especially the case if your Destined Person is a masculine being. Because of you, now they understand that money ain’t it; sex appeal ain’t it; status ain’t it. Aesthetics comes after real Love. You taught them that. And they’re grateful and they realise you’re the only person they want to love. It’s kinda possessive like that…I think your Destined Person could have some Taurus or Scorpio placements??

Anyway, in some way, your Destined Person could’ve been so embarrassed about their own childishness and felt super lacking as a person. Like, they don’t really know what to offer a divine being such as you…but they vowed to better themselves and grow up as quickly as possible so they could become worthy of your Love LMAO Gosh! It was around this time they realised they wanted to grow up as a person that they knew you were the ONLY one for them! Umm…like they just knew they could and would never be able to feel this way for any other person that’s not you. It had to be you~

I LOVE YOU🔻💛

in sorrow and in sickness – Silver Magus (Merlin)

I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[melukonova]

LOVING SEPHIROTH, sephiroth x reader.

tw. mentions of his hurtful past, emotional abuse that miniroth didn't deserve :( this post can be seen as suggestive but it's left mostly to your interpretation

a/n. for @silverflqmes , my best friend who has inspired me to write yet again for something i love and for writing various requests for me, indulging me in my own happiness. you are never leaving this deep hole of ff7 that i dug for you AHAHAHAH! this is also for the many fans who have made fanfics and such that have shaped me now<3 much love to you all! (i will make more headcanons if this gets love) also sephiroth might be a little ooc since he's new territory of writing for me :,)

info. very lovable and soft sephiroth<3 very short blurbs! inspired by the song everything by lifehouse, i can see him relating about you, the reader, and how he feels for you. enjoy! pre-nibelheim!!!

𐚁. sephiroth's love language can be seen as quality time as seen with the time he spent with genesis and angeal, he grew very attached easily. i can see this in a similiar way since i'm sure once you've caught sephiroth's eye, you're happily in his heart. he enjoys just being together, perhaps he'll teach you how to use masamune (a toy version at least since he wants to protect you from injuries). don't get me wrong, every other love language applies for him too but i know he's happiest with the fact that you're there by his side.

𐚁. he is very awkward with affection so the first time you hold him, i think he wouldn't know what to do but he'll awkwardly pat your back while trying not to freak out a bit by being touched since he was experimented on as a child. please teach him how to love, he didn't get enough as kid... i think being patient with him would also warm his heart with you as well. he isn't the best with people, just in using his sword... which is why it's an anomaly to him if you stuck around for this long.

𐚁. indulging ellie on this one: sephiroth with a kitten. he probably is the one to adopt a kitten out of the two of you except what you didn't expect was him to basically mother the kitten. i think his wounds are still healing from the fact that the locket of his mother was torn away from him.. but you guys both loved that kitten very much, naming saikou which means radiance. it is the radiance of both of your lives and definitely a way to heal from your guys' pain, whatever it may be from your end but i know sephiroth suffers from loneliness and feeling not good enough. he feels this much less because of you though and of course, saikou. saikou is now your love rival... the kitty is his precious baby but you are his most prized treasure.

𐚁. while i said quality time is his favorite love language, i think that he likes physical affection as well since he never really knew what it's like to be loved. he wanted to learn though as well as learn to love you which led to teaching him how to cuddle. still very awkward, he's trying his very hardest as he pats your head and encases you into his body. eventually it led to couch cuddles every time he came home from work, he won't say it out loud but this is his favorite part of being able to be with you. he is so beyond smitten.

𐚁. as sephiroth had been in SOLDIER all of his life, he's not completely sure the best way to comfort you on many things but what he can do is to give you a better night! he'd come home with flowers since somehow zack had talked him into buying flowers from his girlfriend, what can i say? zack was a persuasive businessman and sephiroth had no clue how to be a good boyfriend. he'd probably panic if he couldn't make you feel better, he just wants you happy and would slay his enemies (those who wronged you). he'd indulge you in just about anything that you wanted to do between him trying on your favorite dress, self-care day with face masks, kisses all over to make you less insecure or just to feel more loved, an ice cream date, etc. you name it and it's done. he'd even sneak you into the training room on the SOLDIER floor to take you on a loving date with an even more beautiful sunset but all he could see was his sun, you.

𐚁. you already know his hair care routine since it was leaked from your mail, did i mention you were apart of sephiroth's fan club? he uses a WHOLE bottle of shampoo and conditioner. one day you had to braid his hair, adding in flowers to his hair as you braided it. he loved it since it kept his face clear for combat, meanwhile genesis and angeal snickered at him since his s/o made him look all pretty so none of his enemies would take him seriously. masamune said differently than his hair did. if somebody ruined the artwork of your braiding? they ALSO had a date with masamune.

𐚁. he doesn't like a lot of attention as many would say since he is so famous. this is the big question, how did you enter his life in comparison to the fangirls? you understood him. it was a new feeling for him and he didn't know how much he would end up loving it. no thirsting over how hot he was or saying how strong he had been. just a simple: "i know you've been working hard for so long, you deserve some rest," was enough to make him moved by you. nobody could compare to you in his innocent heart. he was so new to every experience, every hug, every kiss, and every touch you gave him. each time was something new that he had learned to love about you and eventually love about himself as well. you helped him to understand he was more than a monster, more than a soldier, more than just a test subject.

𐚁. what you hadn't expect is to find a loving sephiroth in the kitchen with you, holding you close to him as you listened to italian cooking music (the pasta addict in me thinks he'd want to learn more about pasta and its origin). his head was leaning down towards yours while staring down at your lips as you both had been swaying. his hand had been on your waist and the other had been moving up from your shoulder, over your neck slowly with care, to your soft cheek. capturing you in his lips, the water had boiled over but he didn't care at that moment. the thing he clung onto most was this moment because at this moment, sephiroth just knew. he was in love and he finally felt free as he deepened the kiss. he knew where home was and he was kissing his own home, taking in all of what makes you so lovable as well.

melukonova, 2024. 𐀔

[mrkis]

what would the dreamies, especially mark and jeno, do for your birthday or anniversary? 🙈

mark would take you to dinner and then a concert, the artist being someone you both like. would absolutely have you both wearing matching merch tshirts and would sing every song to you. would take so many pictures of you too, some solo and some with him. lingering kisses and touches, gentle loving smiles and happy laughs. he would also buy you both matching rings, like a promise ring, something meaningful. you would wear it on your hand while he would attach his to a necklace to keep it close to his heart.

with renjun, he would be the type to take you somewhere for the night. a hotel? a log cabin? a beach house? camping? he would take you to any place where it's just the two of you. no distractions. no members to interrupt. he just wants to be alone with you.

jeno.... yeah. he's going down the sex route. he'll buy you one singular rose at first and when he takes you to your room, he definitely has covered your bed in rose petals and lit up some scented candles. he'll even put on some music to really set the mood. focuses more on you than himself throughout the night, is more than happy to give you whatever you want.

haechan would end up switching plans halfway through the day. you first agreed to stay at home, to cuddle next to each other and watch movies or play games, or have sex. but then he would end up wanting to do something else, something romantic. dinner with a view or he would be sentimental and take where you first met or had your first date.

jaemin is also the type to do something romantic. gets you a bouquet a flowers and covers your face in kisses, praising about how much he loves you and wants to spend more years with you. (ends up getting too into it and talking about future children and grandchild please tell this man to relax).

chenle. this man goes above and beyond surprisingly. acts so nonchalantly at first but then happily hands you his black card and tells you to get whatever you want, and when you refuse he tells you that you deserve it. brings you to all your favourite stores and restaurants, might even take you to a different city/country if you're up for it. spoils you rotten without a care in the world. he's happy to see you happy and spend the day with you. (we love a rich man)

jisung is similar to haechan but ends up sticking to the original plan. he stays at home with you. cooks with you, bakes with you, plays games, watches movies. would buy all your favourite snacks and drinks beforehand too so you can have a mini picnic in your living-room. asks to be cliché and feed you a chocolate covered strawberry 'like they do in the movies' but ends up breaking down laughing when he accidentally misses your mouth and creates a mess on your cheek.

[jaylver]

SEVEN — L.HS

SYNOPSIS: Pissing you off wasn’t what Heeseung expected or wanted. So, he came up with a plan to try and win your good side back over the seven days of the week.

PAIRINGS: non-idol!heeseung x afab!reader

GENRE: established relationship, VERY slight angst, lots of fluff

WARNING(S): profanities, mentions of taylor swift's concert ticketing (👹)

WC: 1.8k

AUTHOR NOTES: all thanks to kook's seven that inspired me this! btw it's inspired by the MV not the lyrics 😭 man the lyrics threw me tf off i'm CRYING anyway i don't write nsfw sooo don't expect me to base it off the lyrics HAHAH but the song and mv just reminds me of hee sm! that's why i decided to whip this up. enjoy and please leave a feedback! it'll help a lot <3

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

Heeseung was an idiot.

He hated the fact that he had actually pissed you off. Forgetting a date was the last mistake he expected from himself, unintentionally leaving you sitting in the middle of the restaurant while it rained outside, the clear picture of you being stood up embarrassed you. He was such an ass for that.

He knew he deserved the angry yells from you, holding you as you calmed down until you finally heard him out. You couldn’t entirely blame him for working late, but you wished he had told you sooner, sobbing into his shoulder as he kissed your tears away, kissing your waist and eased your mind, whispering 'sorry' on repeat.

“Let me love you right.”

Heeseung stuck to his promise, doing one of the craziest things he hasn’t done in a while, which was planning something for every day of the week.

i. Monday

Coming home from work was exhausting. You just wanted to lie in bed with a soothing mask on and do nothing.

Upon entering the threshold, you noticed something different. Heeseung wasn’t in his usual position on the couch watching his usual evening program or even gaming. There’s no way he would have disappeared, right?

“You’re back,”

Speaking of the devil.

You eyed the plates of food in his hands, catching the cheesy grin on his face. “What are you doing?” you placed your bag down, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Dinner, duh,”

Eyebrows furrowed, you casted him a suspicious glance. “There’s no motive behind this, is there?”

Heeseung set the plates down, looking thoroughly offended. “Can’t I do something for my girl?”

“Hee, you never cook. You live on instant noodles—which is so bad, by the way—that is why I’m wondering what all these are,”

Your gaze softened at the nicely cooked meals your boyfriend had prepared, feeling his arm slowly slither around your waist. "I just wanted to do something nice,"

Something clicked in your mind. "Is it because of last weekend? You know I'm over it, right?"

It seemed that your words had hit the spot. His lopsided smile told you you've guessed it right.

"Heeseung,"

He threw his hands up in defeat, letting out a breath. "I can't help feeling guilty and I just wanted to make up for it," he tugged you in closer. "Can I?"

You were never immune to your boyfriend's charms, giving in and rolling your eyes at him. "Of course you can. I'll make sure to taste every flavour of your home cooked meal,"

His grin widened, pinching your cheeks softly. "You're so annoying,"

"What's that?"

"You're so cute, I mean."

ii. Tuesday

"I had a pleasant surprise at the office today,"

You were saying when you closed the door, seeing Heeseung at his usual spot watching some sports program on the big screen, acting oblivious. He hummed in response as you crept closer to him.

"I got flowers," you stood behind him, leaning down and threw your arms around his neck. "My favourite flowers,"

He turned his head slightly towards you, an amused smile plastered on that sly face of his. "I wonder who they're from,"

"I wonder too," you played along, pressing a kiss on his cheek and instantly saw his typical pleased expression. "Thank you,"

"I'm glad you liked them," he held your hand gently, sincerity shining in his gaze.

"I always like every one of them that you've sent me,"

"I'll make sure to send you more."

iii. Wednesday

"I rented the movie you were dying to watch,"

"No way!"

Getting off work early and being back home earlier than usual was the greatest thing you could ever get from the world. It was one of those days where you and your boyfriend decided to have a chill night in, calling your usual take out, but this time, Heeseung had something in store.

Heeseung knew you were dying to watch a newly released movie considering the amount of times you rambled to him about it. But with your's and his packed schedules, staying at home was almost like a treasure. So, he wanted to make sure you get to watch the movie without leaving the comforts of your couch and rented the movie instead.

"I will cry right now," you melted into his touch the moment you cuddled into his side, letting him kiss your forehead.

"Watch the movie first before you cry," he laughed jokingly, rubbing your arm soothingly.

You smiled at him, poking his cheek. "I'll pay for the next time, okay? I'm not taking a 'no' as an answer,"

He nodded, stroking your head affectionately. He might've gone along with your words, but deep down, he knew he was going to be the one who pays next round, just because he wanted to. It was you after all.

iv. Thursday

"You're joking, right?"

Heeseung was a brave fighter. He would actually fight hard just for you. But buying concert tickets? That was a whole different side of war he had seen.

Heeseung intended it to be a surprise. During his lunchtime at work, he gathered his friends and their computers to snatch tickets, specifically Taylor Swift tickets. He was fighting against millions of people and just thinking about it made him shudder.

Sunghoon was losing his focus as time passed, Jay needed the toilet and Jake was on the brink of closing his tabs out of impatience, but Heeseung was the only one holding out.

Time ticked and just when everyone was about to lose it, Heeseung's tab was loaded. He swore he saw the gates of heaven there and then. It all happened in a haze and before he knew it, the tickets were secured. Now, he needed a plan to surprise you.

Frankly, a random Thursday night wasn't fit for a whole damn surprise and Heeseung was tired. During dinner, he just let it slip, seeing the honest shock in your face was totally worth it.

"I'm not joking at all," he chuckled, watching you jump around and attacking him with a bear hug, arms and legs wrapped around his body.

"You won the great war!" You practically smothered his face with kisses, and he just accepted it happily.

"Oh my God, I need to think of outfit ideas for us,"

He sat there with you in his hands, feeling content already just from the crazy smile on your face. All it took was your happiness to make him equally happy.

v. Friday

Having a boyfriend who loved to spend money on useless stuff was sometimes a blessing and a curse.

This time around, Heeseung actually put one of his impulse buys to use. The karaoke machine.

Spending Friday nights inside was a calming type of fun. You and Heeseung both had already moved past that phase of staying out late and just wanted a peace of mind at home now instead. Even if it meant you resembled old couples by playing monopoly, checkers, uno and other types of games, it didn't matter to either you or him.

Heeseung, however, thought it was an even more fun idea to crank up the karaoke machine rotting in the other room to add to the night. You didn't say no, and watched him drag it out with a proud look on his face.

He set it up, praying there would be no noise complaints the next morning and started singing some of his favourite songs. You watched him silently, a sweet smile evident on your lips.

"Come on, let's sing our song," he tugged your hand, pulling you to your feet and handing you a microphone. The familiar beat of a slow romantic song that you two loved started playing and he pulled you close to him, wrapping his arm around your waist.

The voices of yours and his mixed together into the night, swaying with each other and just purely enjoying one another's company. Heeseung made sure to make you feel special, spinning you around and doing extra stunts, eliciting laughter from you.

If this could last forever, you wished it would.

vi. Saturday

Heeseung has always been a hopeless romantic, it's no secret.

He loved bringing you out on dates, whether it was spontaneous or not, he just wanted to treat you like a princess.

It wasn't an exception this time.

Bringing you out to one of the michelin restaurants he wanted to try out in a long time as a date night that he had been planning for months on end. It was totally worth it when he was the dress you were wearing, complimenting his suit as well.

"You look gorgeous tonight, wow," he said this again once you got out of the car, even after telling you many times before leaving your place.

"Thank you," you accepted his hand, blushing all over again. "You look absolutely breathtaking as well,"

He shot a wink at you. "Flattered,"

"I'm really happy we're spending tonight together,"

"So suddenly? We always do," he glanced confusedly at you.

"I know," you squeezed his hand softly. "But tonight I'm just extra happy we're both here, you know? I'm just grateful for you. The things you did—hell, this—everything, I'm lucky to have you,"

"Me too," he squeezed your hand back, swinging it back and forth. "I'll always go out of my way for you. You're the exception."

vii. Sunday

Sundays were left for shopping and splurging.

You hated it but Heeseung couldn't help spending money on you. He loved buying you stuff which included his useless online shopping hauls.

Walking around the mall hand in hand, you swore your legs were on the verge of breaking. Heeseung was an avid shopper compared to you, so instead of the stereotypical girlfriend dragging her boyfriend around, it was the opposite for you.

You helped him pick out a new cologne, some new clothes and skincare. Not knowing it would be your turn to shop, or at least, he was hoping you would buy something.

"I want some ice cream,"

"Only ice cream?"

"Yes, Hee, just ice cream," you tugged him towards the nearest Baskin Robbins you could locate, craving for a scoop of cookies and cream. "You know you don't need to splurge on me, right?"

"I know, but I want to," he pouted, showing his classic bambi eyes to you.

"I know you do," you bumped his shoulder lightly. "But today, I just want some ice cream, nothing more,"

"Let me get you your favourite flavours?"

"I can't say no to that."

Safe to say Heeseung had successfully erased the bad memory from your mind and left even better ones. He might've not been the most perfect guy, but he was the best for you, all seven days, every week, every month, and for evermore.

[mooseyspooky]

Songs Moz says he wrote about Johnny:

-Angel, Angel Down We Go Together

Meanwhile, all the songs that I think are actually about Johnny, or in some way referring to him:

-Hand In Glove (1983)

-No, it's not like any other love. This one is different, because it's us.

-So, hand in glove I stake my claim. I'll fight to the last breath. If they dare touch a hair on your head, I'll fight to the last breath. For the good life is out there somewhere. So stay on my arm, you little charmer, but I know my luck too well. Yes, I know my luck too well. And I'll probably never see you again.

-Reel Around The Fountain (1983)

-Fifteen minutes with you. Well, I wouldn't say no. Oh, people said that you were virtually dead, and they were so wrong.

-I dreamt about you last night, and I fell out of bed twice. You can pin and mount me like a butterfly, but, "Take me to the haven of your bed" was something that you never said. Two lumps, please. You're the bee's knees but so am I.

-What Difference Does It Make? (1982)

-All men have secrets and here is mine. So let it be known. For we have been through hell and high tide. I think I can rely on you, and yet you start to recoil. Heavy words are so lightly thrown, but still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you.

-But now you know the truth about me. You won't see me anymore. Well, I'm still fond of you.

-But I'm still fond of you. Oh, my sacred one.

-Miserable Lie (Linder/Johnny) (1982)

-I know I need hardly say how much I love your casual way. Oh, but please put your tongue away. A little higher and we're well away. The dark nights are drawing in, and your humor is as black as them. I look at yours, you laugh at mine, and "love" is just a miserable lie. You have destroyed my flower-like life. Not once - twice. You have corrupt my innocent mind. Not once - twice.

-This Charming Man (1983)

-When in this charming car. This charming man.

-Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

-This man said, "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care."

-These Things Take Time (1982)

-Mine eyes have seen the glory of the sacred wunderkind.

-But I can't believe that you'd ever care, and this is why you will never care.

-I'm spellbound, but a woman divides, and the hills are alive with celibate cries. But you know where you came from, you know where you're going, and you know where you belong. You said I was ill and you were not wrong.

-The alcoholic afternoons when we sat in your room - they meant more to me than any than any living thing on earth. It had more worth than any living thing on earth. Vivid and in your prime. You will leave me behind.

-Handsome Devil (1982)

-You ask me the time, but I sense something more. And I would like to give what I think you're asking for.

-You handsome devil. Oh, you handsome devil. Let me get my hands on your mammary glands, and let me get your head on the conjugal bed.

-I crack the whip, and you skip, but you deserve it. And when we're in your scholarly room, who will swallow whom?

-Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (1984)

-So for once in my life let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the last time.

-I Want The One I Can't Have (1984)

-On the day that your mentality decides to try to catch up with your biology - come 'round. 'Cause I want the one I can't have, and it's driving me mad. It's all over, all over, all over my face.

-And if you ever need self-validation just meet me in the alley by the railway-station. It's all over my face.

-That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore (1984)

-Park the car at the side of the road. You should know time's tide will smother you - and I will too. When you laugh about people who feel so very lonely their only desire is to die - well, I'm afraid it doesn't make me smile.

-It was dark as I drove the point home, and on cold leather seats - well, it suddenly struck me. I just might die with a smile on my face after all.

-Well I Wonder (1983/1984)

-Do you hear me when you sleep? I hoarsely cry.

-Do you see me when we pass? I half-die.

-Please keep me in mind.

-I Know It's Over (1985)

-I know it's over - still I cling. I don't know where else I can go.

-Sad veiled bride, please be happy. Handsome groom, give her room. Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly. Though she needs you more than she loves you.

-I know it's over, and it never really began, but in my heart it was so real. And you even spoke to me, and said: "If you're so funny then why are you on your own tonight? And if you're so clever then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very entertaining then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very good-looking why do you sleep alone tonight?"

-Love is natural and real, but not for you, my love. Not tonight, my love. Love is natural and real, but not for such as you and I, my love.

-Never Had No One Ever (1985)

-Now I'm outside your house - I'm alone. And I'm outside your house. I hate to intrude.

-The Boy with the Thorn in His Side (1985)

-How can they look into my eyes, and still they don't believe me? How can they hear me say those words - still they don't believe me? And if they don't believe me now will they ever believe me?

-How can they see the love in our eyes, and still they don't believe us? And after all this time they don't want to believe us. And if they don't believe us now will they ever believe us?

-There Is a Light That Never Goes Out (1985)

-Driving in your car. I never, never want to go home. Because I haven't got one anymore.

-Driving in your car. Please don't drop me home.

-And if a double-decker bus crashes into us - to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us - to die by your side...well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.

-Take me out tonight. Take me anywhere, I don't care. And in the darkened underpass I thought, "Oh God, my chance has come at last." But then a strange fear gripped me, and I just couldn't ask.

-Stretch Out and Wait (1985)

-All the lies that you make up...what's at the back of your mind? Your face I can see, and it's desperately kind - but what's at the back of your mind?

-Amid concrete and clay, and general decay, nature must still find a way. So ignore all the codes of the day. Let your juvenile impulses sway...God, how sex implores you to let yourself lose yourself.

-Stretch out and wait. Let your puny body lie down. As we lie, you say...stretch out and...

-Shakespeare's Sister (1985)

-But I'm going to meet the one I love. So, please don't stand in my way, because I'm going to meet the one I love.

-I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible.

-Sweet and Tender Hooligan (1986)

-He said that he'd never, never do it again, and of course he won't - not until the next time.

-Would you look into those motherly eyes? I love you for you, my love, you, my love.

-Is It Really So Strange? (1986)

-And I can't help the way I feel. You can kick me, and you can punch me, and you can break my face, but you won't change the way I feel. 'Cause I love you.

-Is it really so strange? I say no, you say yes - and you will change your mind.

-London (1986)

-Smoke lingers 'round your fingers. Train a-heave on to Euston. Do you think you've made the right decision this time?

-You left your girlfriend on the platform with this really ragged notion that you'll return, but she knows that when he goes, he really goes. And do you think you've made the right decision this time?

-Ask (1986)

-So if there's something you'd like to try...Ask me, I won't say no, how could I?

-Because if it's not love then it's the bomb...that will bring us together.

-Nature is a language, can't you read?

-I Started Something I Couldn't Finish (1987)

-The lanes were silent. There was nothing, no one, nothing around for miles. I doused our friendly venture with a hard-faced, three-word gesture.

-I started something, I forced you to a zone - and you were clearly never meant to go. Hair brushed and parted, typical me...I started something, and now I'm not too sure.

-I grabbed you by guilded beams. That's what tradition means. And I doused another venture with a gesture that was absolutely vile.

-Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before (1987)

-Nothing's changed. I still love you, oh, I still love you...only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love.

-Who said I'd lied to her? Who said I'd lied, because I never...

-Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me (1987)

-Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm.

-Last night I felt real arms around me. No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm.

-I Won't Share You (1987)

-I won't share you, no. I won't share you. With the drive and ambition. The zeal I feel, this is my time.

-Life tends to come and go. That's okay...as long as you know.

-I'll see you somewhere. I'll see you sometime, darling.

-I Keep Mine Hidden (1987)

-Hate, love and war force emotions to the fore, but not for me of course, of course. I keep mine hidden.

-But it's so easy for you...because you let yours flail into public view.

-The lies are so easy for you, because you let yours slide into public view.

-Alsatian Cousin (1987)

-Were you and he lovers? And would you say so if you were?

-A note upon his desk. "P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!" Leather elbows on a tweed coat -is that the best you can do? So came his reply: "But on the desk is where I want you."

-Angel, Angel Down We Go Together (1987)

-Note: I personally believe that this song is Johnny speaking to Morrissey shortly after the breakup.

-Angel, angel. Don't take your life tonight. I know they take, and that they take in turn. And they give you nothing real for yourself in return, but when they've used you and they've broken you, and wasted all your money, and cast your shell aside - and when they've bought you and they've sold you, and they've billed you for the pleasure, and they've made your parents cry. I will be here, oh, believe me. I will be here, believe me. Angel, don't take your life. Some people have got no pride. They do not understand the urgency of life. But I love you more than life.

-Late Night, Maudlin Street (1987)

-Note: In a similar vein, I think this is Morrissey's side of the conversation from Angel, Angel Down We Go Together. It is the very next song on the album (Viva Hate). This song is a mix of movie quotes, description of movie scenes, and (more or less) spoken word pieces. Those spoken word pieces I think are Moz' response to Johnny in Angel, Angel. 'Don't take your life, tonight.' 'I took strange pills, but I never meant to hurt you,' ect.

-Love at first sight. May sound trite, but it's true, you know. I could list the details of everything you ever wore, or said, or how you stood that day.

-Truly I do love you. Oh, truly I do love you.

-When I sleep with that picture of you framed beside my bed...Oh, it's childish and it's silly, but I think it's you in my room by the bed. Yes, I told you it was silly, and I know I took strange pills, but I never meant to hurt you. Oh, truly I love you.

-The last bus I missed to Maudlin Street. So, he drove me home in the van, complaining, "Women only like me for my mind..."

-And so we crept through the park. No, I cannot steal a pair of jeans off a clothesline for you...but you without clothes. Oh, I could not keep a straight face. Me, without clothes? Well, a nation turns its back and gags.

-Oh, truly I do love you...wherever you are.

-Suedehead (1987)

-Why do you come here? And why, why do you hang around? I'm so sorry...Why do you come here when you know it makes things hard for me? ...Why do you telephone? And why send me silly notes? I'm so sorry.

-You had to sneak into my room just to read my diary. "It was just to see, just to see." All the things you knew I'd written about you. Oh, so many illustrations. But I'm so very sickened. I am so sickened now...Oh, it was a good lay, good lay.

-Break Up the Family (1987)

-The strange logic in your clumsiest line - it stayed emblazoned on my mind. You say, break up the family, and let's begin to live our lives.

-Yes, you found love, but you weren't at peace with your life. Home late, full of hate. Despise the ties that bind.

-I Don't Mind If You Forget Me (1987)

-I don't mind - I don't mind if you forget me.

-So now you send me your hardened 'regards' when once you'd send me 'Love.' Sincerely I must tell you your mild 'best wishes' - they make me suspicious.

-The pressure to change, to move on was strange, and very strong. So this is why I tell you - I really do understand. Bye bye.

-Rejection is one thing, but rejection from a fool is cruel.

-I Know Very Well How I Got My Name (1987)

-A child in a curious phase. A man with sullen ways. I know very well how I got my name. You think you were my first love. You think you were my first love, but you're wrong. You were the only one. Who's come and gone.

-Treat Me Like a Human Being (1987)

-It's hard, but try...for once, just for once...Leave all your hate behind you. It's still all so strange and obscene for you to look and see one who is real and who feels life.

-Three words could change my life. So once, just for once...let the night pass with ease, son. Treat me like a human being. I'd like to know how this feels.

-Three words could change my life, yet you treat me like you never care.

-Happy Lovers at Last United (1988)

-Happy lovers, back together, and I do feel proud. Happy lovers, reunited, and I do feel proud now. I'm not the type to boast as you know, though it was me who brought them back together. He is so kind, and she is so clever, but they don't want me now, hanging around.

-I rang to her to explain of how he really wants to see you again. I said more or less the same thing to him too, which wasn't true. And now they walk, hand in hand, all is planned, by the silent glance I believe, that only lovers share. And I'm proud to have done something good for once. And she is so kind, and he's so clever, but they don't need me now, hanging around.

-Will Never Marry (1988)

-For whether you stay, or you stray, an inbuilt guilt that catches up with you - and as it comes around to your place at 5 a.m., wakes you up, and it laughs in your face.

-He Knows I'd Love to See Him (1989)

-He knows, he knows, or...I think he does. 'Cause when I lived in the arse of the world...he knows, he knows. He knows I'd love to see him happy, or as close as is allowed.

-Oh, my name still conjures up deadly deeds, and a bad taste in the mouth.

-He doesn't know...

-Yes, I Am Blind (1989)

-Love's young dream. I'm the one who shocked you. I'm the one who stopped you, 'cause in my sorry way I love you.

-Love's young dream...aren't you sorry for what you've done? Well, you're not the only one, and in my sorry way I love you.

-Yes, I am blind, but I do see evil people prosper over the likes of you and me always.

-Oh Phoney (1989)

-May this lovely letter reach its destination...if only. Question one is why do you pretend that you like me? Oh Phoney. See how the outside contradicts what's inside.

-Who can make Hitler seem like a bus conductor? You do, oh Phoney you do. You sing a lovely song to a scale, and the words spell out my name. Oh Phoney. But then you kick me down below, 'cause you know it won't show. How could you?

-King Leer (Linder?/Johnny) (1990)

-Your boyfriend, he went down on one knee...Well, could it be he's only got one knee?

-Your boyfriend, he has the gift of the gab, or, could it be...the gift of the grab?

-Your boyfriend, he has displayed to me more than just a real hint of cruelty.

-Found Found Found (Peter Hogg?/Johnny) (1990)

-Found, found, found...someone who's worth it in this murkiness. Someone who's never seeming to be scheming...(Oh, but if I'd never found)...I do believe that the more you give your love, and I do believe that the more you give your trust...the more you're bound to lose. (Oh, but if I'd never found)...Somebody who wants to be who wants to be with me...all the time.

-The Loop (1990)

-I just want to say I haven't been away. I'm still right here, where I always was. So one day, if you're bored by all means call. Because you can do...but only if you want to. I just want to say I haven't been away. I am still right here, where I always was. So one day, when you're bored by all means call. Because you can do...but you might not get through.

-My Love Life (1991)

-Come on to my house. Come on and do something new. I know you love one person so why can't you love two? (Note: Moz once changed this line to "I know you love one person, but why don't you love two?")

-Give a little something...give a little something to my love life.

-I know you love one person so why don't you love two, love? Love two (Note: Moz once changed this line to "I know you love one person, but why can't you love two?")

-Seasick, Yet Still Docked (1992)

-Wish I knew the way to reach the one I love. There is no way. Wish I had the charm to attract the one I love, but you see, I've got no charm.

-Tonight I've consumed much more than I can hold. Oh, this is very clear to you. And you can tell I have never really loved. You can tell by the way I sleep all day, and all of my life no one gave me anything...My love is as sharp as a needle in your eye. You must be such a fool to pass me by.

-I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday (1992)

-My love, wherever you are, whatever you are - don't lose faith. I know it's gonna happen someday to you. Please wait...

-You say that the day just never arrives, and it's never seemed so far away. Still, I know it's gonna happen someday to you.

-Tomorrow (1992)

-All I ask of you is one thing that you never do - would you put your arms around me? I won't tell anyone. Tomorrow...does it have to come?

-And what must come before. Oh, the pain in my arms. Oh, the pain in my legs. Oh, my shiftless body. Tomorrow. It's surely nearer now. You don't think I'll make it. I never said I wanted to - well, did I?

-All I ask of you is would you tell me that you love me. Tell me, tell me that you love me. Ah, I know you don't mean it.

-I'd Love To (1993)

-Again I lay awake, and I cried because of waste. I'd love to, but only with you...Oh, time is gonna wipe us out. There, I've said it loud and clear so that you will hear. There's no one in view. Just you...and time will never wipe you out. Now I've had enough. I've had more than could be my rightful share of nights I can't bear. How can it be fair? Time must wipe them out. So, again, I lay awake in a trance. Oh, I just want my chance, but only with you...that's all...

-Spring-Heeled Jim (1993)

-Spring-heeled Jim lives to love. Now kissing with his mouth full, and his eyes on some other fool. So many women - his head should be spinning. Ah, but no!

-Spring-heeled Jim slurs the words: "There's no need to be so knowing. Take life at five times your average speed, like I do."

-Billy Budd (1993)

-Say, Billy Budd. So you think that you should? Everyone's laughing! Since I took up with you. Things have been bad. Yeah, but now it's twelve years on. Now it's twelve years on. Yes, and I took up with you.

-Yes, and it's all because of us. Oh, and what was in our eyes...I said, Billy Budd I would happily lose both of my legs...I would lose both of my legs if it meant you could be free.

-Hold On to Your Friends (1993)

-A bond of trust has been abused. Something of value may be lost. Give up your job. Squander your cash - be rash. Just hold on to your friends. There are more than enough to fight and oppose. Why waste good time fighting the people you like? Who will fall defending your name?

-But now you only call me when you're feeling depressed. When you feel happy I'm so far from your mind. My patience is stretched. My loyalty vexed.

-Be mad, be rash. Smoke and explode. Sell all of your clothes. Just bear in mind: Oh, there just might come a time when you need some friends.

-Speedway (1993) (Johnny/Issues with the NME)

-And when you slam down the hammer can you see it in your heart? All of the rumors...keeping me grounded. I never said, I never said that they were completely unfounded.

-So when you slam down the hammer can you see it in your heart? Can you delve so low? And when you're standing on my fingers can you see it in your heart? And when you try to break my spirit it won't work, because there's nothing left to break...anymore.

-You won't sleep until the earth that wants me finally has me. Oh you've done it now. You won't rest. Until the hearse that becomes me finally takes me...And you won't smile until my loving mouth is shut good and proper. Forever.

-And all those lies, written lies, twisted lies. Well, they weren't lies. They weren't lies...I never said...I could have mentioned your name. I could have dragged you in. Guilt by implication. By association. I've always been true to you in my own strange way. I've always been true to you in my own sick way. I'll always stay true to you.

-You Must Please Remember (1994)

-A small boy, big ideas. You must please remember. A long road, with no turn-off. Oh, you must remember. Caught in your headlights like a frightened animal. You must remember. Someone cries twice nightly. Of course, I do remember. Someone cries, and you think quite rightly so, but you refuse to remember.

-Low-lights and long nights. I try hard to not remember. And you - too beautiful. I can't look. I've done so very many stupid things. It's too late.

-Honey, You Know Where To Find Me (1994)

-Honey, I'm not gonna cry for the things that never occurred. So do not remind me. Happy to be as I was in the first place. Honey you know where to find me...Kicking away from the mundane everyday. The envy is beyond me. I'm not gonna pine for the things that can never be mine. Do not expect me to. I'm happy to be who I was in the first place.

-Whatever Happens I Love You (1994)

-Names, secret names, but never in my favour. But when all is said and done - it's you I love. Cold loving prose. We stole each other's clothes, but when all is said and done - it's you I love. Yes, yes, yes, oh, yes. (Note: Moz often sings this as 'we wore each other's clothes')

-Fights for rights. Everyone's oh so quick with advice, and when they've all said their piece - it's still you I love. Now just like then...yes, yes. No, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

-You Should Have Been Nice to Me (Jake?/Johnny) (1994/1995)

-You could have told me at the right time. You could have introduced me proudly. Never need to have to kiss me. Never need to ever touch me, but you should have been nice to me. It would have been so easy. And on the moments when I was down you could have been there. You could have once just spoke in favor. You'd never need to ever touch me. But you should have been nice to me...It wouldn't cost you money. And on the moments when I fell down - not for you to say, oh, I told you so. You could have waited...

-Trouble Loves Me (1996/1997)

-Trouble loves me. Trouble needs me. Two things more than you do, or would attempt to. So, console me. Otherwise, hold me. Just when it seems like everything's evened out, and the balance seems serene...

-Trouble loves me. Walks beside me. To chide me. Not to guide me. It's still much more than you'll do.

-Go to waste in the wrong arms. Still running 'round. Trouble loves me. Seeks and finds me. To charlatanize me, which is only as it should be. Oh, please fulfill me. Otherwise, kill me.

-Then at midnight I can't get you out of my head. A disenchanted taste...still running 'round.

-Heir Apparent (1996/1997)

-It's all changed. You were there. Departing, starting a trek I had once took. With that "no-one's gonna stop me when I feel this way" look.

-You think it's so easy, I tell you - it isn't. But you may change minds with your winning smile.

-So I tried to make my way back to the station. You were still there, gleaming and leaving. Wide-eyed and awestruck, saying "How can anybody hate me if I love them first off?"

-Heir apparent. You say that you want it, I'm sure that you'll get it. They'll seduce your heart, and then they'll slap your arse.

-The Edges Are No Longer Parallel (1997)

-All of the things you said...so meaningful. They are all so suddenly meaningless. And the looks you gave...so meaningful. They are all so suddenly meaningless.

-My only mistake is I keep hoping...

-I Like You (Jake/Johnny) (2000-2002)

-Something in you caused me to take a new tact with you. You were going through something I had just about scraped through. Why do you think I let you get away with the things you say to me? Could it be I like you? It's so shameful of me - I like you. No one I ever knew or have spoken to resembles you. This is good or bad all depending on my general mood.

-Magistrates who spend their lives hiding their mistakes - they look at you and I, and envy makes them cry. Envy makes them cry. Forces of containment. They shove their fat faces into mine. You and I just smile, because we're thinking the same line.

-You're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why...you're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why...this is why I like you.

-Let Me Kiss You (Jake?/Johnny?) (2000-2002)

-There's a place in the sun for anyone who has the will to chase one. And I think I've found mine...so close your eyes. And think of someone you physically admire, and let me kiss you.

-Say, would you let me cry, on your shoulder. I've heard that you'll will try anything twice. (Note: Moz often sings this as 'you'll try anyone twice')

-But then you open your eyes, and you see someone that you physically despise. But my heart is open. My heart is open to you.

-Friday Mourning (2004)

-For years, I warned you. Through tears, I told you.

-This dawn raid soon put paid to all the things I'd whispered to you at night time. And I will never stand naked in front of you, or if I do, it won't be for a long time. Look once to me, look once to me - then look away. Look once to me, then look away.

-The Never-Played Symphonies (2004)

-I can't see those who tried to love me, or those who felt they understood me. And I can't see those who very patiently put up with me. All I can see are the never-laid, or the never played symphonies.

-You were one, you meant to be one. And you jumped into my face and laughed and kissed me on the cheek. And then were gone forever. Not quite.

-You were one, you knew you were one. And you slid right through my fingers. No, not literally, but metaphorically. And now you're all I see as the light fades.

-I Am Two People (2004)

-I love you. It's murder. I am two people. One you know, but don't like. The other one you don't know, but you don't want to.

-I love you. It's pointless. In my soul if I live or die this life.

-I have two faces. One of which you know. The other one, for your sake, I never would show. It's just because I love you. I cannot bear to be around you, and if only one or the other of us would drop down dead.

-You Have Killed Me (2005)

-Pasolini is me. 'Accattone' you'll be. I entered nothing and nothing entered me 'til you came with the key. And you did your best, but as I live and breathe - you have killed me.

-And there is no point saying this again - there is no point saying this again, but I forgive you, I forgive you. Always I do forgive you.

-Life is a Pigsty (2005)

-And once again I turn to you. Once again, I do. I turn to you.

-Life is a pigsty. And if you don't know this then what do you know? Every second of my life I only live for you. And you can shoot me, and you can throw me off a train. I still maintain...

-I can't reach you. I can't reach you. I can't reach you anymore. Can you please stop time? Can you stop the pain? I feel too cold. And now I feel too warm again. Can you stop this pain? Can you stop this pain? Even now in the final hour of my life I'm falling in love again...again.

-I Just Want to See the Boy Happy (2005)

-I want to see the boy happy with some hope in his pale eyes. Is that too much to ask?

-I want to see the boy happy with his arms around his first love. Is that too much to ask? Before I die I have one final dream. For my own life I don't care anything. And I just want to...I want to see this boy happy. Why is this such a bad thing?

-To Me You Are A Work of Art (Jake?/Johnny?) (2005)

-I see the world. It makes me puke. But then I look at you and know that somewhere there's a someone who can soothe me.

-To me you are a work of art. And I would give you my heart - that's if I had one.

-Black Cloud (2007)

-The one I love is standing near. The one I love is everywhere. I can woo you. I can amuse you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. Black cloud, black cloud. The one I love roosts in the mind. Can snap this spell, or increase hell. I can chase you, and I can catch you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine.

-I play the game of favorites now. I can, I must. I will, I do. I can please you, or I can freeze you out, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. Black cloud, black cloud, black cloud...I can choke myself to please you, and I can sink much lower than usual. But there's nothing I can do to make you mine.

-Sorry Doesn't Help (2007)

-Sorries pour out of you. All wide-eyed simple smiles. Certain to see you through like a QC full of fake humility. You say: "Oh, please forgive..." You say: "Oh, live and let live..." But sorry doesn't help us, and sorry will not save us, and sorry will not bring my teen years back to me any time soon. Forced back, it springs right out. Seasoned, you have no doubts. You lied about the lies that you told - which is the full extent of what being you is all about.

-Sorry will not bring my love into my arms as far as I know...

-Sorry is just a word you find so easy to say...So you say it anyway. Sorry doesn't help us. Sorry won't protect us. Sorry won't undo all the good gone wrong, my love.

-I'm Ok By Myself (2007)

-Now this might surprise you, but I find I'm ok by myself. And I don't need you, or your morality to save me.

-Now this might disturb you, but I find I'm ok by myself, and I don't need you or your benevolence to make sense.

-After all these years I find I'm ok by myself. And I don't need you, or your homespun philosophy. No, no, no, no...This might make you throw up in your bed: I'm ok by myself! And I don't need you, and I never have, I never have.

-Forgive Someone (2010-2014)

-Use a weapon of words, or a fight with your fists. But can you forgive someone? Stand your ground and persist, and be the last one to blink - but can you forgive someone? And if you do...I'll run to you. Betray you? With a word? I would slit my own throat first of all, I will. The black peat of the hills...when I was still ill. See this mess and forgive someone, and then recall if you can...how all this even began.

-Our truth will die with me. Our truth will die with me...Shorts and supports and faulty shower heads. At track and field we dreamt of our beds. In the bleachers you sit with your legs spread, smiling: "Here's one thing you'll never have." Our truth will die with me.

-Home is a Question Mark (written 2003, released 2017)

-I hug the land but nothing more, because I haven't met you. I've wined and I've dined with every bogus music mogul. No sign of you.

-I have been brave. Deep in every shaven cave. None were you.

-If I ever find home...if I get there, would you meet me? Wrap your legs around my face just to greet me.

-My Love, I'd Do Anything for You (possibly?) (2017)

-My love, I'd do anything for you. Society's hell. You need me just like I need you.

-You know me well. My love, I'd do anything for you.

-We all go our own ways, separately in the same direction, and here am I every night of my life always missing someone. I'd like to be rotted out just before I become aware of the pain. The more I wish in my heart for someone less likely they come.

-Never Again Will I Be A Twin (2017) (Possibly?)

-Never again will I be a twin. The operation went well, but the patient died. Never again will there be a smile to wipe off my face once it's too much. In a twin-like realm, in the plastic arts of falling in love, what a joke that was. What a joke that was.

-Darling, I Hug A Pillow (2020)

-Darling, I hug a pillow in absence of you. Darling, I hug a pillow to replace your face. Loving you is a trauma no one else should face, or sit still for. Why can't you give me some physical love?

-Darling, you will cry for me in the years to come. In the hope of a moment that cannot return...thankfully. Why can't you bring figs all pulpy and moist? Roasted in passion and salty in voice? No longer keeping a secret of your secret place.

Youtube Playlist

[aleenuhs]

Hi I saw you wanted requests. Could you write something fluffy with Sadie? Maybe she takes you out riding or just a lazy morning with her. Just something cute she deserves ittt👉🏻👈🏻

☼ A Morning With Sadie

warnings: nothing, just fluff, suggestive undertones, reader gets jealous

word count: 1K

paring: Sadie Adler (1907) x Fem!Reader

enjoy xx

For once, it felt nice to sleep in a bed, in a room, under sheets. Your eyes fluttered open, and the bright sunlight from outside cascaded through the window, it was already starting to get warmer. You could hear the soft snores of Sadie beside you as she still remained sleeping peacefully. Now, she looked so relaxed and calm as she slept.

But you just had to wake her up.

Rolling over to her side of the bed, you lean to her ear and whisper, "Time to wake up."

You brushed your hair from your face and looked at her as she stirred awake. When you moved against her slightly, she woke up. Her gaze was glued to you. Making sure you were okay. She wasn't the heaviest sleeper, in fact, it was sometimes rare that she got any sleep at all. But when she was with you, she slept like a baby.

Meanwhile, you always slept well knowing that Sadie was beside you, throughout the night.

"Good mornin'," Sadie smiled lazily at you, reaching toward you and brushing a strand of hair from your face that fell when you moved. Her raspy morning voice played like a song in your ears.

"Good morning," you replied back to her.

A sigh came from her lips and you smiled, "How about we stay in bed for a lil' while longer?" You suggest, but she shakes her head.

"We have stuff to do, darlin', can't just lay here all morning." She playfully chided you as you rubbed her arm, you could feel her flex slightly as you did so, and she leaned over to you and kissed your neck before getting up. But you pull her back down to you.

"Sadie," you dragged the last syllable of her name and sighed, she was sitting on the bed now, looking right at you. She lays back down and brings you closer, her fingers running up and down your back. "Sadie, please?" you repeat desperate.

"You always get your way, you should be glad you're so cute." She laughed. "For that, we'll stay here a bit longer."

You giggled and hugged her, her hand moved to your waist and squeezed. Before you know it, you're resting on top of her, looking out at the window. You both had gotten a room in the Saint-Denis Saloon, looking for a good night's rest, some drinks, and food to hold you both over.

Sadie rubs her arm. "You sore?" you murmured to her and she smiled, remembering last night. She nods.

"Of course, you wore me out, girl." She jokes, but it is true, you wore her out. And damn it was fun.

"Good!" You said playfully, you quickly left a peck on her cheek. "Ugh, hotel beds are usually shitty, but this one feels better." You smile and let out a chuckle, moving back to your side of the bed and yawning, both of your legs wrapped in blankets. Sadie still reached out to hold you.

"Oh I wasn't complainin' sweetheart," She leaned over you and peppered kisses all over your face, "give me a chance to wear you out too. You'll be stationary fa' the next few days."

You looked at her, "who says? I'm strong!" You joked, knowing that if you even gave Sadie the chance, her words would be marked true.

Neither of you we're counting the minutes, seconds, or hours, just enjoying each other. You just knew it would have to end soon as she had to get up.

For some reason, you're immediately brought back to the time that Sadie attempted to gift you some flowers, your favorites, Dandelions, which she went out of her way to pick when she was riding back to Beecher's Hope. Using the flower press that Abagail had, and you keep a singular flower in a book.

Her nails softly hovered over your skin as she looked up at the ceiling, as if she were in deep thought. She starts to hum a little, just softly, but enough to put you at more of an ease. Her presence was enough for you to feel safe, protected from the whole world that was full of bad and evil, she somehow made a home out of herself, all for you.

Sadie buried her face in your neck, her soft breathing tickled you.

A soft chuckle comes from her. "Remember when you were runnin' from Rufus, when you first met him? That darn dog." She smiled to herself, recalling when you were at Beecher's Hope for the first time and Jacks dog came running up to you and you got scared and ran from it.

"Not my best moment, Sadie." You replied, still a bit embarrassed that you ran from a dog, when you'd definitely encountered worse than that cute dog.

She laughs and kisses your neck.

You wondered how much longer you and Sadie were going to stay in bed, after all, she did have a job as a bounty hunter, which she eventually had to tend to at some point today.

That involved riding to the police station and picking up a bounty, you dreaded it, but you followed her around everywhere, what else was there to do? Sometimes, you would stay with John, Abagail, Jack, and Uncle when Sadie wasn't sure how safe she could keep you if she brought you along on one of her bounties. Especially the really heavy ones.

When she took on the higher paying bounties, she was sent out with another woman, which she worked well with, very well. You remembered meeting the woman, they’d both promised to keep each other safe. You never really batted an eye at it, maybe it was just the jealously, you knew Sadie was loyal to you.

She loved you, that much was clear to you. Though, it felt like you both spent more time apart than together, so a morning after a night like last night, it was entirely was a blessing to you both.

[mynarco]

Fragaria Info Bureau #13 Music Details (ENG TL)

I haven't seen any public translations about the info from this livestream, so I'm stepping up to bat! Also with my own findings/analyses.

Note that even though I'm doing my best to make these as accurate as possible through editing/Jisho double-checks, I've still had to rely on translation machines for this. Sorry for the inconvenience- please let me know if there's anything I got wrong here!

Covers Your Melody, 拝啓、暁染める虹よ, and Charcoal White. A looooong post follows under the cut.

YOUR MELODY - QUESTION 1

"Regarding the flowers that appear in the music video, what kind of flowers are they? Also, what's the meaning of each flower?"

"The flowers that the three Fragaria are holding are as follows:

Hallritt: Geraniums

Merold: Roses and dahlias

Rimicha: Sunflowers and birds of paradise

Each of the flowers have a meaning and were specially chosen to match their Fragaria. We hope you can have fun thinking about why each flower was chosen!"

Geraniums symbolize a lot of things, but I think friendship and peace are the most important meanings when they relate to Hallritt and his Minna Nakayoku mindset. In the Victorian era, though, they instead symbolized foolishness; the mark of someone careless with their actions. (Also for those of you into astrology, geraniums are also the flower of Scorpio, which he just so happens to be. Take that as you will?)

Roses have an obvious meaning even if you don't care about flower symbolism; love. And that's fairly obvious for Merold's feelings about Melody. The colors themselves also have meanings, though; the white rose in his bouquet symbolizes purity and innocence (Melody is pretty pure and innocent), and light pink symbolizes happiness and admiration. Similarly, dahlias are a symbol of devotion and love, with white ones sharing a similar meaning to white roses.

Merold also has white lilies in his bouquet, which goes unmentioned in the answer for some reason... Another flower meaning purity, but it also represents commitment.

Sunflowers are a symbol of happiness, strength and loyalty, while birds of paradise symbolize joy, faith and freedom. I spent too much of my energy rambling about the other two, so I don't have a lot to say for Rimicha and his flowers... I know in my heart, though, that they suit him perfectly. Give that boy some happiness! He deserves it!

YOUR MELODY - QUESTION 2

"What's the meaning behind 'As more and more things break, I become cowardly, but I'm still so happy I dance on the staff'? Why is he 'happy to become a coward'?"

The question is referring to Merold's solo part at the start of the second chorus. Starts at 2:16. Translating song lyrics is absolutely NOT my forte so take the phrasing with a little more salt than the rest.

"The more important something is, the more timid and scared we become when we begin to think it might be broken or lost. At the same time, having something that important to you is such a joyful and precious thing that it can feel like a melody is playing in your heart. For Merold, the lyrics say that something like that exists for him."

All I'm gonna say here is. Yeah. They're right.

拝啓、暁染める虹よ - QUESTION 1

"This song is characterized by its poetry readings. Was there anything important that was kept in mind when deciding on the lines to be read?"

This question refer to the parts of the song where the knights speak in full sentences as opposed to singing.

"The poetry is read in parts divided between Willmesh, Louterstella and Myunna, but the meaning is retained even when read as a whole. It was created carefully to ensure its content would match Willmesh's worldview. However, even though the song has such attention to detail, each part read by the characters also conveys something they themselves resonate with. Please listen to them again with this in mind."

Focusing on Myunna and Louter specifically since every line resonates with Will in some way. The first readings are "Even if we're apart, no matter where you are" "If we believe in each other, we can communicate". Second readings are "I want to watch the scenery change with you" "I want to capture the unchanging beauty". Take these as you will.

Also Chiba-san starts emphasizing the "meru" part of the song's title around here due to the next question. I still get a laugh out of him going "Haikei, akatsuki soMERU! nijiyo" lol.

拝啓、暁染める虹よ - QUESTION 2

"Regarding the song's title, Dear Dawn-Dyed Rainbow, it's been stated that 'Rainbow' represents Wish Me Mell and her rainbow-colored tail, but what does 'Dawn' represent?"

"'Dawn' represents the connection between Willmesh and Cielomort. The title was chosen to express the relationship between the childhood friends who are connected by the same sky, the 'sunrise' leading to the 'blue sky'."

Do I need to say it.

CHARCOAL WHITE - QUESTION 1

"This song expresses Chaco's feelings towards Lord Pochacco, but does it also express his feelings towards Arupek?"

"Charcoal White is a song that expresses Chaco's feelings towards his lord Pochacco. However, from his perspective, it seems like Aru and Pochacco have a lot of things in common."

So it's a no, but also yes by merit of them being similar in Chaco's eyes... That's how I see it, anyways. Even though we already know he thinks Aru is like Pochacco (from the QnA), I could be reading too much into it.

CHARCOAL WHITE - QUESTION 2

"What kinds of feelings were put into the creation of this song?"

"Chaco is skilled in everything he does, but even he has a subject of admiration. Even though he admires them, he knows that can never become like them. This song was created with a feeling of 'accepting a grayness that can never become white', as he still believes in himself as he is."

Something about purity, it's definitely been said before me.

[theprettieststarfr]

GUYS PLEASE READ THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

So I genuinely refuse to believe that considering the size of Hogwarts there was never a mention of a huge green field, only the lake. Like you know, fields like ones they have in the UK with cows and shit. BUT NO COWS THIS TIME. Imagine there is a huge field with wildflowers, like chamomile and poppies and other stuff and it's just so unbelievably green when May rolls around and throughout June as well, and some time after the field gets green like that it also blooms.

So, now that you've imagined it, imagine four 11 year old boys running around, playing tag in that field, screaming, laughing and falling down, out of breath, on the grass together to look up at the clouds. And when exams/tests are over, they sit on the field, which smells MAGNIFICENT by the way, just like proper summer, with all the flowers on it, and watch the summer sunset.

Second year, Peter gets bitten by a bee and becomes so goddamn scared of the field in the summer because of the bees that he absolutely refuses to play in there with his friends. And because MARAUDERS WERE EQUAL IN EACH OTHER'S EYES they spent so many break times researching the best insect repellent spells with the help of Professor Sprout, that they came up with a solution in less than a month and they were finally able to go to the field altogether.

Sometime then they were also joined by Lily, Mary, Marlene and such, who preferred picnics to playing tag, but weren't against watching the sunset as well.

Around the fifth year the Marauders would notice that Pandora, Regulus, Dorcas, Barty and Evan sat a little further away on the field. Pandora made flower crowns, Regulus read, Barty and Evan bickered, though it was never serious, and Dorcas composed or covered songs on her guitar. And since James is the little ray of sunshine that he is, he RUNS up to Pandora begging her to teach him how to make flower crowns, to which she happily agrees. Remus then finds the book Regulus is reading very interesting, Sirius is itching to put his opinion into rosekiller's argument because of course he knows better - it's clotted cream AND THEN jam on a scone, and Peter actually has a very clear, soothing soprano, which compliments Dorcas's alto and they start singing together. They sometimes hang out together after that.

Sixth year - James and Pandora are teaching everyone to make flower crowns and somehow, after the flowers have been picked, they grow right back, like nothing happened. Sirius gives his first flower crown to Minerva, most pretty (in his opinion) flower crown to Regulus, after a fight, after which Regulus, surprisingly, forgives him, which he does not want to admit, and all of his other ones to his Moony, because "he deserves all the flowers in this world". Remus grumbles a little about waste of flowers, but secretly preserves all of them in his books and keeps them. They no longer play tag in the field, for quite a few years now, but instead just frolic and dance whenever. Lily and Marlene sometimes act like those Zumba instructors and show moves to all the others, while Mary picks out the most danceable ABBA songs, getting a complaint from Sirius, who secretly doesn't really mind a bit of disco. They are sometimes joined by others, like Frank, Alice and Emmeline and they all have a huge dance off and OF COURSE it's either James or Lily who win most of the times and the classically trained Black brothers finally stop associating dancing with their parents and harsh etiquette training.

Last day of the last year, they all come out on the field one last time. To play tag. Like it all started. Running around it without one care in the world, then again, falling down on the field together. They then quietly talk about what they think the future will be like for them, agreeing on the thought that it will all work out eventually. Then they each make A LOT of flower crowns to exchange with every single person there. Barty then charms all the crowns to "speak". Basically, by touching a flower on the flower crown you can hear the voice of the person who made it and that date that they made it on, or whatever they want to say: "I'm Sirius Black, and I made this flower crown for Marlene on dd/mm/yyyy. DAZZLE ON MARLS" or smn like that. When asked how Barty came up with this, he answered, that he didn't wanna sort through his condoms every time he needed them in order to find out which one is strawberry flavoured, so he would just touch it and know which is which 😭😭😭

After that they actually hug. All of them. During the sunset. And it's the most wholesome thing.

And then they stay on the field until dawn getting drunk and doing something dumb and fun.

THAT'S IT YOU GUYS I REALLY LIKE THIS THOUGHT

Oh, also, if you wanna go more canonical (god no please no), then the year before Remus comes back to Hogwarts to teach, they remove the field to build more greenhouses, since more plants are coming in due to globalization and shit. And only Luna notices, crying silently at all the flowers that are gone.

And when Remus comes back, the first thing he notices is that the field is gone. Without a trace. Dead. Just like all of his friends. But not the memories he made. Probably would be better if they were dead too, because they hurt him even more, than he thought was possible.

[junnylunny]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐈 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 ˚ ✿ ｡*₊

! pairing- ex lee heeseung x male reader

! synopsis: y/n's ex, heeseung, shows up to y/n's fan meeting and ends up rekindling his relationship with y/n.

! word count: 720

! now playing: "I WISH" by lee dongwon: ost of "happy merry ending"

"let's break up."

"what?" he asked, confused.

"i'm tired of our relationship. you deserve someone better than me."

"no. we're not breaking up right now y/n," heeseung said shaking, grabbing y/n's wrist, wanting y/n to take back what he had just said.

"i'm serious. let's break up, heeseung," y/n said, clenching his jaw. he gently let go of heeseung's grip.

tears began to stroll down heeseung's face. he never thought this day would come. but not for y/n. he knew all along this day would come. he began to walk away from heeseung.

"no... don't do this to me, y/n," heeseung begged while y/n walked away.

= = = = = = =

a year passed and y/n had always regretted breaking up with heeseung. but his insecurity got the best of him. he didn't want to be the one getting hurt if heeseung left him, so he left first instead. in reality, that made y/n hurt more than anything. heeseung didn't deserve to be treated like that, but the decision was already made. would heeseung still want y/n after he left him like that?

"alright. that's perfect. we're done recording," the producer said through the small communicator.

"thank you," y/n said, smiling, taking off his headset.

"you did great," his manager said.

"thanks, i couldn't have done it without you hyung," y/n replied.

"no way, i can feel this song is going to be a hit," he said, patting y/n's back.

= = = = = = =

"please welcome mr. y/n!" the mc yelled, welcoming y/n to the stage. everyone in the audience began to clap loudly, excited to hear the new song y/n would release.

"the fans and i have heard that this new song is from your experience," the mc said, beginning to start the show.

"yes, it is," y/n replied.

"could you explain in detail?"

"this song is dedicated to someone i haven't met in a while. they have a special place in my heart," y/n said.

"that's so beautiful. i hope you're able to meet with them again. please give it up for mr. y/n as we start listening to his new song live."

y/n grabbed his mic and began to sing...

"i call your name gently with my lips... before i knew it, my empty day was filled with memories with you...," y/n sang.

"when I close my eyes, when the wind blows, it feels like you're in front of me..."

as y/n continued to sing, he saw a familiar face in the crowd. it was heeseung. y/n couldn't help but to keep making eye contact, expressing how much the song meant to him- how much heeseung meant to him. soon, the fan meet ended and everyone had left. it was just heeseung and y/n left together.

"did you miss me?" heeseung asked y/n, walking towards him with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"i did...," y/n said, embarrassed at the same time.

"i got you flowers. congrats on your new song," heeseung said handing them to y/n.

"thanks... that means a lot to me," y/n said, sorrowfully smiling while looking at the flowers.

"you have something to explain to me, right?" heeseung said, slanting his inner eyebrows.

y/n made eye contact with heeseung again.

"i'm sorry i left you like that... i shouldn't have. i was afraid you'd leave me...," y/n said, his voice shaking and tears forming.

"why would i leave you, y/n?" heeseung said, grabbing y/n's hand.

"i don't know..." y/n said, his nose getting puffy and red.

"i could never," heeseung comfortingly said, hugging y/n and soothing him.

"i'm sorry i couldn't reach out to you sooner," heeseung said.

"why would you be sorry for that," y/n asked, pulling back from the hug to look at heeseung's face.

"because i hated you afterwards. i was frustrated and angry with why you broke up with me. your words... "you deserve someone better than me" made me think. why couldn't you be that person?"

"i'm sorry i said that," y/n said, smiling at heeseung with comfort.

"it's okay..." heeseung replied, looking at y/n's eyes deeply.

"i love you," he said.

"i love you too," y/n answered.