#WOULD PHIL SURVIVE THIS ANIME?

[shesnake]

Spider-Verse Artists Say Working on the Sequel Was ‘Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts’

Why don’t more animated movies look this good? According to people who worked on the sequel, Across the Spider-Verse, it’s because the working conditions required to produce such artistry are not sustainable.

Multiple Across the Spider-Verse crew members — ranging from artists to production executives who have worked anywhere from five to a dozen years in the animation business — describe the process of making the the $150 million Sony project as uniquely arduous, involving a relentless kind of revisionism that compelled approximately 100 artists to flee the movie before its completion.

While frequent major overhauls are standard operating procedure in animation (Pixar films can take between four and seven years to plot, animate, and render), those changes typically occur early on during development and storyboarding stages. But these Spider-Verse 2 crew members say they were asked to make alterations to already-approved animated sequences that created a backlog of work across multiple late-stage departments. Across the Spider-Verse was meant to debut in theaters in April of 2022, before it was postponed to October of that year and then June 2023 owing to what Entertainment Weekly reported as “pandemic-related delays.” However, the four crew members say animators who were hired in the spring of 2021 sat idle for anywhere from three to six months that year while Phil Lord tinkered with the movie in the layout stage, when the first 3-D representation of storyboards are created.

As a result, these individuals say, they were pushed to work more than 11 hours a day, seven days a week, for more than a year to make up for time lost and were forced back to the drawing board as many as five times to revise work during the final rendering stage.

"For animated movies, the majority of the trial-and-error process happens during writing and storyboarding. Not with fully completed animation. Phil’s mentality was, This change makes for a better movie, so why aren’t we doing it? It’s obviously been very expensive having to redo the same shot several times over and have every department touch it so many times. The changes in the writing would go through storyboarding. Then it gets to layout, then animation, then final layout, which is adjusting cameras and placements of things in the environment. Then there’s cloth and hair effects, which have to repeatedly be redone anytime there’s an animation change. The effects department also passes over the characters with ink lines and does all the crazy stuff like explosions, smoke, and water. And they work closely with lighting and compositing on all the color and visual treatments in this movie. Every pass is plugged into editing. Smaller changes tend to start with animation, and big story changes can involve more departments like visual development, modeling, rigging, and texture painting. These are a lot of artists affected by one change. Imagine an endless stream of them."

"Over 100 people left the project because they couldn’t take it anymore. But a lot stayed on just so they could make sure their work survived until the end — because if it gets changed, it’s no longer yours. I know people who were on the project for over a year who left, and now they have little to show for it because everything was changed. They went through the hell of the production and then got none of their work coming out the other side."

[nomsfaultau]

Au body switches :DD

One of the sbi people wake up to be in the body of their counterpart in another au for a day!

A mortal in the body of a god in Minecraft/medieval era!

A god in the body of a mortal in modern times!

Fault!Phil in place of Where Lamb Wolves Near(?) Phil, making everyone an imposter in the pretend family! Nothing will go wrong trust

Also oooohhh what animal best symbolizes the strengths of each of the fault crew if it's okay with you,,,,they're just really interesting and complex characs and would love to know more about them ^^

already have the animals one in this text post right here!!

Alright let’s pit a dark sbi fic bs one where it hella sucks but they’re only mildly toxic. Recap for anyone who needs it: Fault au is a band of monsters on the run from the scp Foundation, Philza is an immortal dragon and has murder problems but is mostly chilling. The Lambs Wolves Wear has Philza trying to survive by pretending to be a Good Father for the monsters that stole/killed his children and replaced them. He is being abused and is hanging on by a thread.

Lambs:

Well, almost immediately it would be very clear that Fault!Philza (Fhilza from here on) is simply not human. Which kinda breaks a lot of things. “Techno” and “Tommy” are specifically using his humanness as covers for their goals. Also “Tommy” and “Wilbur” latch onto The Lambs Wolves Wear!Philza (Philambs) and are going to be furious about him getting yoinked. “Tommy” might come around if Fhilza fills his affection needs, but “Wilbur” is specifically obsessed with Philambs and would NOT handle it well at all. 

While Philambs is ungodly kind and unendingly patient, Fhilza is a lot more likely to call the monsters out on their crap. He’s just not going to put up with the same things Philambs does. So, shutting down “Tommy’s” physical abuse like immediately, banning “Wilbur’s” truth compulsion/glamour things. Potentially he is a great resource for untangling their particular traumas. However… I’m not sure he’d care much for the imposters. They aren’t his kids. Neither are the real children, too, but specifically the imposters are designed to be uncanny resemblances to sbi that just aren’t them in crucial ways. And Fhilza would immediately clock that and decide they aren’t his problem. He’ll be polite, maybe give them some advice, but the moment they start causing problems he’s not dealing with that. He’s far more stern than Philambs and just. Isn’t going to get abused by these random punks that only vaguely look and act like his Collected. While he could be a strong force to help the imposters figure out their issues and get the therapy they need…their mental health isn’t really his responsibility, especially if they replicate some of their toxic behavior with Philambs. Fhilza’s main priority is getting back to his real Collected and trying not to unravel at the seams at the possibility of having lost them. It depends on how long he’s in the au, bc long term there’s a high chance he’ll latch onto the closest pathetic rat of a child he can find in order to keep his life together. However unless the imposters get their crap together enough it’s not gonna be them because, again, Fhilza won’t tolerate abuse. Fhilza adjusts well to being in medieval times again, and says muffin it and just walks into town as a clear dragon demon!? That’s a demon get it! and just shrugs off holy water or whatever while shopping. Potentially an arc where the town learns to accept monsters that behave, the imposters integrate into the community, happy ending. 

“Techno” is annoyed, but has no investment in Fhilza, and is relieved to not have to live in fear of Philambs betraying them. Far more comfortable in an all-monster house, potentially sees Fhilza as a source of training. Possibly Fhilza gets them to take better care of their body, but Fhilza is notoriously a bit of a hypocrite on that front. Could teach them what ptsd is, which is a godsend. Fhilza considers Technoblade to be the Collected of “Technoblade” and prods them to be a better Collector. Can connect on the dying really sucks part.

“Tommy” is angry that Fhilza isn’t a push over, and probably would try to turn it into a fight. Fhilza would oblige, not really impressed by the demon, though not inclined to kill. After getting thermally trounced, “Tommy” reverts into a more submissive/fawning situation where he’ll do anything to appease the ‘greater demon’ until Fhilza snorts, says that’s deeply muffined up and "Tommy” should get some self respect. Less ‘showing the abuse survivor love for the first time’ arc and more ‘telling them bluntly that wasn’t normal and he better knock it off with the might makes right bullmuffin’. Given how achingly familiar Fhilza is with a world where the powerful are powerless against systemic oppression, he finds it particularly stupid. 

“Wilbur" does not handle it well at. all. Does not enjoy the taste of his own medicine with the loved one being taken by a doppelgänger thing. Plus the whole complex about Philambs being the only one that will ever truly love him does..not go great. At first allies very strongly with Fhilza on the ‘trying to get back’ part, which Fhilza really appreciates! But as it seems like there’s nothing they can do, “Wilbur” starts asking more and more questions about Fhilza’s life, drawing out truth with his power. Starts acting more and more like scpilbur, eventually taking its form. Because the only way “Wilbur” knows to be loved is to be someone else. Which Fhilza finds completely horrific and creepy. So that bridge crashes and burns. 

Overall, no one is happy with this change. Well, except “Techno.” He has a difficult relationship with Philambs, and happily returns to having trust issues.

Fault:

As for Philambs…instant panic attack as he’s suddenly surrounded once more with monsters, except this time he’s the imposter. Plastered smile, trying to be kind but he’s terrified and surrounded by openly horrific creatures that are nothing like the imposters he was maybe beginning to accept. Maybe he even goes for the Fhilza mask, trying to pretend be him with 0 knowledge, pouncing on a mention of amnestics without really knowing what’s happening but sure memory loss is so convenient! Yep that’s definitely what happened why is no one convinced..? Oh he’s a demon in this version of reality fantastic absolutely fantastic. Admits he’s not sure what’s happening or where he is, but he mistook them for his own monster children. …why did everyone flinch? 

And Philambs is crazy good at masks by now, is convincingly good at being confused and polite and only wanting these poor people to get their real father back but- well. The Blade can hear his heart going a mile a minute, and him and Tubbo can smell the feel of fear. Even as he smoothly denies it, eventually the pressure causes him to crack. Philambs completely breaks down because pretending to be a father was his only way to survive. The façade was all that was keeping him together. And now there’s nothing. No way for him to save himself, save his kids.

Veeeery awkward for everyone else, especially the hints that this guy is super anti monster. But they don’t really try to force him to be Fhilza. Like they have problems but they aren’t that extreme. They accept him into the group kinda, mostly since he’s a prime target for the Foundation. They miss Fhilza like crazy but the new guy is fairly different and blatantly doesn’t know them and isn’t keen on making friends with more people that only look like his kids. He does have some useful knowledge tho, and is down to not get skewered by pitchforks (what in Prime’s name is a gun??) by the mob hunting them down. Fault crew doesn’t really have the time or safety to try and fully investigate the swap, and without Fhilza’s firepower they have to be extra cautious to avoid the Foundation. Plus, The Blade can get summoned too and they found him last time so maybe it’ll work out?? Everyone continues to have their own respective personal issues, although Tommy swaps out ‘I’m terrified of Fhilza abandoning me again’ for ‘he has’, and Tubbos’ despising Fhilza problem is neatly solved.

Philamb is terrified of the monsters no matter what they say, because he’s been dealing with illusions for a long time. But there’s nowhere else to go in the middle of nowhere, and he’s piecing together that the world beyond would be incomprehensible to him. Clothing, tools, packaged food, it’s all foreign to him. He doesn’t know where else to go, and if the Foundation doesn’t show up and start a fight he might begin to ease a little. But Philambs keeps a watchful eye on weaknesses he notices. At times Philambs very automatically slips back into the fatherly affection/advice/support mode that kept him alive, but abruptly stops. It scares him a lot, the thought of slipping back into a lie. He refuses to share his thoughts with the group, is quiet more often than not, but he’s allowed to be honest in a way he previously wasn’t. Not constantly controlling his expressions, reactions, words is a great relief. 

Philambs tries to gravitate towards Tommy and Wilbur because they look the most human, but Wilbur kinda despises him for being human, albeit torn bc that’s kinda my dad but not?? The monster comments dig under its skill. Plus Philambs is not nearly as great an asset to their survival. Weird for Tommy too since usually Fhilza is this strong pillar of support and this guy is kinda a wreck. The Blade is very uncomfortable to now have a second person in the group that’s terrified of him, and he didn’t even disable this one! Tubbo actually starts to get along tho, happy to find out Philambs is actually not a scary mass murderer and also agrees on the not attacking people bit. Plus from Philambs pov this stranger isn’t trying to be like one of his kids at all. Quietly, Tubbo offers to take Philambs with them when they decide to run from the group. And since they now have someone who can carry them out, their plans jump up far sooner. Without Fhilza, Tommy is slightly less tied to the group.

So, when Fhilza does eventually get back, the group is rather fractured and on fire. Philambs is devastated to be back in his home story, and potentially gets killed bc he’s forgotten how to gaslight gatekeep girlboss. 

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Teen And Up Rated (4) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three

Antisocialites Watch A Wilting Flowers (ao3) - det395

Summary: Phil’s an emotionally attached and loving vet and Dan’s the drained receptionist with no dreams at the animal shelter who reconnect over the poor, hurt puppy dropped off. Dan’s boyfriend is their boss.

A Right Wrong Number (ao3) - husbants

Summary: Dan texts the wrong number after going on a date. Lucky for him, the wrong number is a kind man named Phil. And then they keep texting.

boys they wanna paint me (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: It’s not like Phil’s never had a boy stay over, but they’ve never done this.

Details of an Asteroid (ao3) - dantiloquent

Summary: “If you think about it, aliens probably believe in us, too. We’ve got our own intergalactic cheerleaders.” When Dan and Phil keep bumping into each other, they eventually give in to chance and start talking. Soon enough, Dan makes a home at the library Phil works at, and they talk about nothing and everything so often that there is no going back. The two survive the future just fine, until they learn the flaws of leaning the weight of your existence on someone else’s shoulders.

do you feel it too? (ao3) - heartsopenminds

Summary: A bad break-up has left Phil scared of getting his heart broken again. He’s not ready to date, but he’s missing the easy affection of a long-term relationship.

Cuddle therapy might be the perfect way to get what he needs, with no strings attached. But what happens when that’s no longer enough?

In Bloom For You (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: In which Phil’s an ex vampire hunter who’s entirely too preoccupied by Dan’s dimple and his eyes and his laugh to notice the fact that he might actually be in love with a vampire (Sequel to Hanging Out With Corpses)

In Which Dan Returns to the Hundred-Acre Wood (ao3) - husbants

Summary: Growing up comes with changes, Dan’s familiar with that. More responsibility. More difficult relationships. Less time running around with your favorite stuffed bear named Winnie the Pooh.

When the first day of year thirteen is finally here, Dan’s life is flipped on its head. He meets Phil, the new boy from the North, and he’s immediately smitten. Dan hates that the world doesn’t like boys that like boys, but maybe a visit to the Hundred Acre Wood, Pooh thinks, will help Dan realize that it doesn’t matter what the world’s opinion is.

is that as good as it gets? (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Having Dan around makes it all so much easier that Phil can't imagine a life without him now. He fits into the places where the rest of Phil should be, allows Phil to settle into shape around him.

Let Go Of The Reins (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan did not want to go home to his parents’ house the summer after his first year of studying law - which he was failing at - so when a friend suggested a simple job that would keep him busy for three months and give him a place to live, he couldn’t say no. Granted, shovelling horse shit wasn’t glamorous and he was afraid of horses, but the Lester Stables had other things going for it.

Phil was newly graduated with a video editing degree and moving home to his parents’ horse stables, even if he still would not get back on the horse since what happened earlier in the year. He had a complicated relationship with horses to begin with and he had decided he was done riding. When the new stablehand help arrives, Phil finds himself going out to the stables more often despite trying to stay away.

Love is Just an Empty Word You Say (ao3) - starrywrite

Summary: (tw) Phil had gotten so used to being single, but that didn’t mean he wanted it that way forever. Insert Leo, who sweeps Phil off of his feet and steals his heart, and it doesn’t take long for Phil to come to the conclusion that his new boyfriend is an angel. But Leo’s halo and wings aren’t a good enough disguise for the devil inside.

Mind Reader (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan’s head was always filled with noise. He’d been blessed/cursed with the power to read minds, but not the power to control it. He heard the thoughts of everyone near him, and the constant voices in his head were close to driving him mad.

That is, of course, until he met Phil Lester, the only one who could make his mind go silent.

Piece by Piece (ao3) - TwistedRocketPower

Summary: Phil has learned that the problem is, once it’s all over, you feel like nothing. They’ve trained you. They’ve worked their way inside every single part of your brain until you don’t know who you are anymore. So the hardest part is finding yourself again. It’s learning who you are, because you have only been what they wanted since they became a part of your life. It’s terrifying, and Phil isn’t sure if he’ll be able to do it.

Ridingstone Hall (ao3) - QuietBubbles

Summary: The turn of the 20th century. Much to his surprise, Daniel, an ordinary orphan, secures a position as tutor to an affluent family in the country. However, this stroke of luck soon runs short as he is thrust into a world eternally on the brink of scandal. Warring parents, unhappy children-and the eldest son, miserably engaged to a socialite, soon begins a beautiful secret scandal of his own…

scratch bark bite (oh, love me, i lied) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Music & Drama teacher Dan Howell has a well-known rivalry with his coworker, English teacher Phil Lester.

An unforeseen event flips everything Dan thought he knew about Phil and himself on its head. Slowly but surely, the grudge withers, and the two of them cross the line between enemy and friend. But what will happen when their true intents and feelings get revealed? And was what they had ever really a rivalry? Was it even mutual?

Stirring In Love (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: When Phil applied to be a contestant on the Great British Bake Off he didn’t even expect to make the long-list, let alone make it into the actual tent. But make it he does and there he meets Dan, a baker unlike Phil in every possible way. After a rocky start, Phil realises that maybe he can learn some things from Dan after all, and the biggest things have nothing to do with baking.

The Prince and the Youtuber (ao3) - koleen

Summary: Dan Howell is the Prince of England and the first grandson of a late King, and Phil Lester is a famous Youtuber who turns out to be the first grandson of a late King’s Hand, the best friend of the late King. On one night of celebration of their daughters’ pregnancies 18 years ago, the best friends made a drunken pact to marry their first grandchildren to each other the year they both turn 18, completely forgetting to consider that their first grandchildren could both be male.

to all the people i’ve loved before (and the one who actually made me fall in love) (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil doesn’t crush on people often, but when he does the emotions seem to overwhelm him. The only way he knows how to deal is to write love letters. They were never meant to be read. 

The most recent letter threatens to ruin his relationship with his big brother Martyn, so in a fit of panic, Phil finds himself turning to the boy who was the recipient of the very first love letter for help. Even if he is Dan Howell, the school heartthrob.

to let the light in (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Searching for a fresh start after a decade of dead ends in London, Dan becomes obsessed with a storytelling show on Rossendale Radio and a voice that hasn't been broadcast in years.

Unforeseen Firsts (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan's studying at Manchester University. Phil lives in his first proper flat. One evening Dan catches Phil doing something a bit embarrassing.

(when you gonna realise) it was just that the time was wrong (ao3) - The_Blonde

Summary: “His notebook is divided into five columns, as much as he can remember. I’m with Dan. I’m not with Dan. Dan is far away from me. I love him, but I shouldn’t. I love him, but I can’t. Dan Howell; an impossible boy turning up in all variations of impossible dreams. The whole reason. The loss of something that you never quite found in the first place.”

Or: Phil works in a coffee shop. Or at an animal sanctuary. Or at a university. Maybe he’s a Youtuber. Maybe he runs an editing firm. Sometimes he’s in the 1920s. In all of these places he has dreams. In all of these places he is in love with Dan. It’s just trying to work out which time is the right one.

[its-rat-time-babey]

HOLY SHIT BETA GLITCH TECHS DESIGNS!

I found a YouTube channel called Glitch Techs Archive that has a bunch of leaked Glitch Techs stuff. Mostly various bits of the only surviving piece of the 2020 pilot episode, but there’s also the way cooler 2015 Pilot stuff, With a full Pilot Episode (In animatic form) and an archived TRAILER for the 2015 Glitch Techs.

Please watch it it’s so cool.

Anyways here’s a bunch of Beta Glitch Techs stuff i saw in the trailer (and 2015 Pilot but the Trailer has better visuals):

First off: The animation is COMPLETELY different.

Looks nothing like the Glitch Techs we got to see.

Also that’s what Five Miko and BITT look like.

I guess if you squint you can see the similarities between Beta Five and Regular Five, but i just have to ask what HAPPENED to Miko and BITT in between 2015 and 2020. I love the look of the beta and regular designs an equal amount but that is a MASSIVELY changed design.

Also in the 2015 Beta (and the 2020 Pilot actually) Five starts off as a Glitch Tech, albeit one that’s still in training, while Miko doesn’t, being hired due to her Reset Immunity by the end of the first episode. His father is also mentioned in the Pilot (“im just glad your father isnt here to see this”) so he could have had ANY sort of backstory at this point.

Also, BITT is completely different in design, personality and function. In the Beta, BITT is a Tech Training Bot that accompanies Five on missions because he’s still in training. He also acts like a human being instead of purely robotic.

Beta BITT here also explains a small meta thing about actual BITT: Despite BITT standing for “Binary Intelligence Tech Trainer”, BITT in the show doesn’t do much Tech Training, mostly just keeping the HQ running on his own with the only training he does being done in episode 1. So why is “Tech Trainer” such an important part of him that it takes up half of his acronym?

Because his Beta Version WAS a full time Tech Training Bot and during production he was either changed or merged with a character that did regular BITT’s job of running HQ and he kept his original name!

Also The Tech Outfits and Armour look completely different as well with Five and Miko having their own colour schemes.

And finally, a very cool detail found in the trailer: Glitches in 2015 were originally going to have their own unique artstyles that they would keep when they escaped from games!

Seen here is the Rock Wizard (a glitch found in both the 2020 and 2015 Pilots and the 2015 trailer, but never actually seen in the show) and a Beta Version of Chomp Kitty. The 2015 Rock Wizard is 3D animated and Chomp Kitty looks more pixelated (while also somewhat fitting into the show’s artstyle). In other words: Glitches keep their in-game artstyle when they leave their games!

Also Beta Phil:

This feels wrong to look at so I had to inflict it on all of you. (also: does anyone think he looks a bit like some of the younger Phil pictures seen in BITT Prime?)

And finally: Bolypius? Or a more sinister and villainous Hinobi Company?

I also found the original Pitch Bible from 2015, which has its own interesting stuff in it, but it deserves its own post.

[issybettyx]

Angel Duo Au (except idk what it is so uh enjoy? Ig?) (I just read an sbi god au where Tommy was a temple hand and i have gods running through my brain

- // blood, injury

Gods have many jobs. The main one is to make sure their domain is in check, for example God of the Ocean makes sure the tides are perfectly aligned. Another job they have is to make sure humans are surviving, although that one was trickier especially since the dawn of the God of War, it was something manageable.

However, when Gods are created, they are told everything they must do during their godhood; one of which is to create a being tailored to their domain.

Phil remembers when Techno - The God of War - created the rabbit, bright red eyes with fluffy fur, and he remembers the pride on the man’s face as he held the thing up to his face, the widest smile on his face he’d ever had the pleasure to witness.

He also remembers what Wilbur - The God of Music, primarily - created, although tedious and having to spend weeks showing presentations to Death, she finally agreed to create spirits, a cross-over between life and death on Earth.

Every time something was created, Phil saw it, because he was the God who had to accept it onto Earth. Being Creation was a difficult job, but when he had his Gods to create their own additions to Planet Earth it made his job a little easier, if only by a little.

“Dad,” Wilbur had asked him one day, mindlessly stroking the fur of Techno’s white rabbit, rightfully named ‘Floof’, “What was your main creation?”

“What do you mean?” He returned with a raised eyebrow, leaning his chin on his palm as the God hummed in thought, rhythmically tapping his foot to steady his thoughts.

“Well, I made ghosts, Techno made these bitches,” Wilbur laughed out, continuing to run his fingers over the animals back, feeling as it sank into the affection, “You’ve made many things, and as a God your duty is to create a being, to put your heart and soul and mind into it, what was yours?”

Truthfully, Phil hadn’t made one.

He’d created many things; Earth, mother nature, the moon.

Yet none of them held a piece of himself.

“Don’t have one yet.”

The other seemed very shocked at the answer, eyes wide as he paused stroking the rabbit beneath him.

“How?!”

Creation could only laugh, grinning as his blue eyes shimmered in amusement and fondness. “I’ve never really thought of something good enough, y’know?” He replied, running an absent hand through his hair as he thought, Music staying quiet as he let the God filter through his thoughts, “I’ve had an idea for a while though, but considering the state of Earth I don’t think it would be a great idea.”

“What do you-“ Wilbur started, before drifting off, looking at the wrinkles in the corners of his father’s eyes before it finally clicked in his head, immediately frowning, “That is a terrible idea.”

“I know.”

“Fill me in,” Techno practically ordered Wilbur as he fell next to him, Floof immediately hopping into his arms despite the brunette’s protests, “What’s such a terrible idea.”

“Dad wants to create a human!”

Techno didn’t seem to have an issue with it. Or maybe he just didn’t fully grasp the situation. “Wil, he created humans centuries ago, you’re a bit late to stopping him.”

“No!” He replied, groaning as he toppled onto the other’s lap, running his hands across his face into his hair in an annoyed fashion, “As in his main creation, that he puts a piece of his soul into? Like your rabbits.”

And then it clicked. “Phil.” Techno started, red eyes flicking up from Wilbur towards their Dad, the God sat on his throne as he hid his smile behind his hand. “You are genuinely, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, the most stupid God I have ever had the pleasure to meet.”

“But wouldn’t it be awesome!” Phil immediately retaliated, now adamant on the concept of creating a blessed human after thinking too much on it; his boys remained avidly against it. “He could have hair as gold as the sun, and blue eyes like the sea.”

“We’ve been forgotten already.” Wilbur sighed out defeatedly, Techno humming back in agreement.

“He’ll be as talented as Music and as strong as War,” the God continued, and that seemed to shut the other two up immediately, “He’ll hold Death’s kindness and Creation’s determination.”

The room fell into a considering silence, a conversation made up only of flickering eyes between twins and Creation forming an image in his mind of this boy who only grew more perfect to him by the second.

“Would he be a god?” Techno asked after the moment grew too long, and Phil pondered it for a moment, shrugging.

“I think we could give him the option to be when he turns 16, so he can decide between mortality and godhood.”

It was safe to say that Creation got to work bright and early the next morning, flying down to Earth before sunrise as his pitch black wings helped him blend into the night. The God landed silently beside an abandoned forest hut, and he swiftly made his way inside, moving onto the balcony only to watch as the sun rose between a valley, casting a perfect golden glow across the treetops lining the grassy land before him.

Using the light, Creation brought his hands in front of him, shutting his eyes as he let the familiar power hum beneath his veins, taking a piece of his soul and placing it into the glow in his mind, adding pieces of everything that made him happy, everything that made him who he was and everything that woke him up in the mornings.

A smile that could challenge the brightness of the sun.

A determination that could rival that of Creation’s mind.

A talent of humour and singing, enough to make Music want to watch from afar.

An inner strength to help him overcome any challenge faced, crafted especially to help him earn a fond nod from War.

Death appeared whilst he was creating this being, leaving a piece of her behind to make sure he could heal swiftly, and if he couldn’t the Gods would be alerted.

The being was created by sundown, and the moment the light disappeared over the horizon a small blonde child fell into Phil’s arms, and he caught him easily, looking into his shimmering blue eyes with the widest smile he could muster. Though he had to hand him over to the humans, Creation made sure to invite his sons over to meet their brother, and Phil saw the very moment Wilbur knew he would never let anything hurt the child. Techno had never liked kids, but the way his red eyes softened in the baby’s direction was enough to bring a smile to Phil’s face.

“What’s his name?” Wilbur asked with a smile, letting the baby grab at his hand as Phil smiled at the two, running a careful hand through the few golden hairs on the baby’s head.

“Tommy.”

“Welcome to the world, Tommy.” Wilbur cooed, lightly brushing his index finger across the baby’s cheek, his smile only growing when he giggled, reaching out to grab the finger.

Cautiously, Techno took another step closer, squinting at the child as if he was scared it would pounce.

He muttered something under his breath that the other two gods didn’t quite catch, but knowing Techno surrounding his family, Phil could only assume it was a vow of protection.

Out of all the blessed creations, Phil knew Tommy was his favourite. Maybe he was bias, or maybe he was simply correct.

The hardest thing he ever had to do happened that night, and that was to hand over the child to the humans, and it was the only thing that made him want to reconsider. But, looking at Tommy, he knew the kid deserved to live a normal life, and being raised by a God certainly wouldn’t help at all.

In the end, he knew it would be worth it.

——

Tommy let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding the moment he slipped into the alleyway, chest tight as he listened to footsteps run past him and into the unsuspecting crowd. Running was never his strong suit, but he’d learned he needed it to survive.

The plan was never to ‘survive’, but Tommy was nothing if not adaptable.

He remembered when he was 7, (at the time he was constantly running from the orphanage, and despite his several - 198 - attempts to run that year, he’d been dragged back every time) and he’d gained a nasty gash from tripping onto something that definitely shouldn’t have been lying on the floor.

The guardians had dragged him back to the orphanage, a trail of blood following his leg as he blue a twirl of hair out of his face, the frown on his face hard to keep up despite the disappointment sitting in his bones. They’d spoke to each other in a quiet fashion as they walked, and Tommy was nothing if not an eaves-dropper.

“That’s going to take weeks to heal,” one had said, her tone partially concerned and partially annoyed, “I won’t be surprised if he has a limp when it eventually does heal.”

“The scar is gonna be horrible,” the other responding, earning an agreeing hum in return, “The kid will never want to wear shorts again.”

Much to everyone’s surprise, it had healed fully after two weeks, no scar in sight.

Ranboo had deemed it a miracle.

Tubbo had deemed it super-powers.

Tommy had deemed it his absolute awesomeness, and somehow Ranboo couldn’t find himself disagreeing in his shocked daze.

And now he made police officers chase down a fifteen year old, but it wasn’t his fault he had to feed himself; if he had a choice, he would have no hunger, he would then finally be well and truly unstoppable.

Everything else he needed he already had, so he was practically unstoppable. A charming smile, an ego of steel and horribly fast healing abilities. On late nights, he’d wondered if he would heal fast enough to bring himself back to life - it was a distant thought that drifted with his mind, but it kept returning, kept thrumming through his veins, kept nagging and bugging and poking.

And the reasons only bugged him more; because yes, there was a chance he healed horribly quickly because he was so incredible, but according to Ranboo that wasn’t a scientific explanation? Or something dumb like that anyways.

Tubbo said it was the Gods, Tommy called him stupid because the Gods didn’t have the ability to grant humans such things, Gods had better things to do than involve themselves in the lives of measly mortals. And then also added that his handsomeness would be enough to convince War to end his ways, and that conversation ended swiftly by Tubbo’s demand.

Tommy hissed as he looked at his arm, seeing a slash all the way up it and hoping his swift healing wasn’t a one time thing, before ducking into the maze of the alleys, winding through them with practiced ease as he listened to the conversations around him.

“- a child, he can’t possible have gotten away so-“

“- she was so nice, she gave me a flower! Look at-“

“- it’s said that Creation created the perfect human being, or perfect for him anyways.” A familiar voice whispered, and Tommy paused at hearing Niki speaking so seriously. “Apparently he took everything he loved most about Earth and things he created in general to create a human fit to rule the skies.”

“If he added everything he created,” another voice started to question, another woman and not a voice he recognised, “Does that include attributes of Gods? Like Music?”

Niki hummed in a thoughtful agreement, “Possibly, but the Gods didn’t give us any hints as to what this human looks like or how old they are.”

Tommy moved on, deciding that conversation wasn’t him before finally making it to the forest, grinning as he spotted his makeshift home in the clearing, sprinting to it before falling onto his dirtied blanket, sighing as he turned onto his back to look at the blue sky, clouds passing by. Some people had said his eyes were the same shade as the abyss above, and he’d taken the compliment and ran miles with it. Tubbo and Ranboo were fuming that week.

“Oh, hello.” A voice cut into his thoughts, and Tommy immediately rolled away from it, jumping up to glare at them, but the sight that met him made him falter. The man who was stood there had a soft smile, blue eyes concerned with his blonde hair tied back into a ponytail using a green ribbon. His clothes were… strange, nothing like anything he’d seen anyways but who was Tommy to judge. It was a white robe, bandages tied up his legs and forearms, sandals on his feet with a necklace around his neck holding two trinkets; a red heart and an emerald. A green and white striped hat was in his hands, and his head was cocked to the side as he looked at Tommy.

The calm feeling Tommy felt was overwhelming, and he couldn’t help but let his guard down, making sure to furrow his eyebrows at the man.

“Are you sleeping out here?” He asked slowly, looking around him as he scrunched his nose in distaste, and Tommy immediately got defensive.

“I think my home is pretty poggers.” Tommy spat back, crossing his arms over his chest as he raised an eyebrow at the man who chuckled at his words, “Who the fuck are you?”

He missed the man’s flinch.

“I’m Phil,” he introduced, holding his hand as a fond grin sat on his face. The entire situation was strange in a way he couldn’t quite place, and he could only squint at the hand held out to him, “It is very nice to meet you.”

———

Is there more i want to write for this Au? Absolutely. But this one is getting long, so i’ll probably do another post another time to continue it, because angel duo in this au <3

[ctommyisnt]

I cannot find the original ask game post fam and determine who’s already asked what so let’s just go with 5 or 24

Hi!!! Trust me I could barely find it either (and who knows if this is the one you were talking about) but I’ll answer both because I can’t help it

5. How do you translate the world of Minecraft to fit into your fanfics when you keep the original setting?

THIS is actually one of my favorite things to do; worldbuilding in general is probably one of my favorite hobbies. I once created an au that was about tommyinnit waking up in an alpha world and has to survive. As he explored he slowly helps the world ‘update’ in a sense, either by encouraging or freeing spirits (his friends, this wasn’t fleshed out as much) or just by surviving. It culminated in him going to the end in a later update and talking to Phil (the end) and Kristin (the world) in a very ‘end poem esque’ conversation. The mechanics of Minecraft being thrown into a real life adjacent world is SO INTERESTING!! I have ideas for probably everything. The dragon, enchanting, animal mechanics, everything. The visuals I have of a Minecraft world in my head are magical and I’m really trying to learn how to paint bc I want to put it on paper SO BAD. Trust me I could rant about this forever especially if I had specific questions. I want to write that fic idea (maybe with Tommy, maybe with someone else since that interest has mostly died down) someday if I can, but I think just the idea of being a player, being love, because the world loves you, is such a magical concept that I wish would be explored world. I also have really fun apocalypse theories for Minecraft because wouldn’t that be so cool (THE BONES. THE FUCKING BONES)

Also I highly reccomend reading Minecraft: the island. It was written by the same guy who wrote World War Z and it fantastically explores the idea of a normal person ending up in Minecraft in ways that feel just so realistic. Hilarious read.

24. What work would you like to talk more about

Oooh that’s hard. I only have one ‘real’ wip rn (shoutout @thesentientmango your a real king) bc with real life everything else has taken a back burner, but I have like six main wips from when I was in the dsmp fandom that I hold close to my heart. But also another one based on the song For the Departed by Shayfer James.

It’s about grian who used to be a watcher but ran away to escape that life once he formed connections with people (evo) and has been in hiding in hermitcraft. One day the watchers fine him, but sensing his desperation they offer him a choice. Either he comes with them, back to his family, or he can stay here with these humans, but he must take part in the watchers and their stories that they will do with his friends (which Grian is well aware what the watchers can and will do). He goes with the second, condemning his friends to torture, because he can’t stand to leave them behind and join the watchers. This begins the life series and every winner gets to keep a much clearer memory of the games (the games are like a fever dream during and after). And then scar wins, and finds out what Grian did, and the watchers find out scar knows, and offer him the same choice Grian did. Wonder what scar took huh

Anyways I probably shouldn’t have ranted about that au bc this post is LONG but I can’t help it. The song is revolutionary I highly recommend and let me know what you think of my aus (wow I ranted about two in one post crazy)

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Body Heat" : A Snowpiercer-Marvel Mashup Story

Part 2 - "A Microcosm of Humanity, Boiled Down to its Base Elements" (Wait! I haven't read Part 1 yet!)

Rated: Explicit

Pairing: Curtis Everett x ofc

Tags: dystopia, food insecurity, post apocalypse, age difference (18/34), dark!fic, implied/referenced suicide, background character death (offscreen), poverty, arranged marriage, implied/referenced past cannibalism, hurt/comfort, attempted rape, dub-con

Summary: Curtis stops a would-be assailant in the wash car. Still worried for Rose's safety, he brings her back to his bunk to sleep.

Author's Note: This fic is dark. This chapter includes explicit, non-gory mentions of: past cannibalism, the consumption of rat meat, and a character who attempts to rape another character but is stopped just in time. 🖤DNI if you can't handle it 🖤

Part 2 - "A Microcosm of Humanity, Boiled Down to its Base Elements"

Mealtimes in the Tail are more about social interaction than they are about food—Kind of hard to have a dinner party when the only things there are to feast on are protein blocks and a meat that you’re pretending is chicken, after all. But they make due.

They have dishes now, at least. A couple hundred plastic bowls and cafeteria cups, dimpled and chipped at the rims, but still serviceable. They’re some of the newer amenities, part of the package that the council negotiated for in last year’s talks. It’s never much but it’s something, brings them just a smidge closer to being able to live like human beings, rather than animals.

It’s been twelve years, and still they’re celebrating over bowls when they should be aiming for antibiotics. But conditions were so miserable after Boarding that even the smallest concession from uptrain feels like a luxury now. Curtis would prefer the progress be faster, but he’s not in charge. He’s Gillam’s second in command, and Gillam’s so old and frail now. After the turmoil of the Year Two (and Three, and Five) Revolts, Curtis made him a tacit promise to not resort to such violent measures again lightly. For now, negotiated castoffs and increased recyclables from uptrain will have to do.

He doesn’t see Rose again for the rest of the afternoon. Four hundred people living in a metal box tend to brew discontent and interpersonal problems over the tiniest of things, and as one of the Tail’s five elected, a big chunk of Curtis’ days are spent solving petty conflicts between the Tailies. He navigates his way through a list of waiting disputes in the market car and in the bunks, making his rulings on what’s fair, and trying not to worry obsessively over Rose and where she is and how she may be doing and who may be bothering her.

But he’s not entirely successful, because something still loosens in his chest when he catches sight of her—looking peaceful and sitting quietly alone at dinnertime. He walks over, grinning the closer he gets as she continues not to notice his approach. “Hey Petal!” he whisper-yells right beside her as he taps her shoulder and sinks down to sit next to her on the floor.

She gasps and almost drops her bowl, but a relieved smile splits her face when she sees that it’s him. “Curtis! Hey. It’s you.”

“Course it’s me.” He frowns quizzically at just how relieved she looks. “Who’d you think it was?”

“Nobody,” she excuses quickly, shaking her head and inching over to make more room for him. “Just glad to see you, is all. Today’s been … long.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Did you get the clothes to Gilliam?”

Her smile softens and she nods. “Yeah. And the arm to Coulson.” She gestures down the car to where Phil is sitting, using the rudimentary limb with clumsiness but steadfast determination. “He has to practice, but I think it’s gonna work pretty well for him.”

“I’ll bet.” Curtis smiles, happy for him. Phil’s also one of the elected, and along with Gilliam, Curtis, The (recently deceased) Man, and Banner, he’s always done his best to help the people in the Tail survive. That’s why he’s currently missing his arm from just above the elbow.

Curtis remembers the taste of human flesh. He wishes he didn’t, but he does. And what’s more, he wishes it’d tasted worse than it had, wishes he didn’t have the memory of how his mouth had watered when he’d finally gotten to eat for the first time in over a week. He averts his eyes from Coulson, ashamed, setting his bowl on the floor and sliding his right hand up under his left coat sleeve to trace the jagged evidence of his own failure.

It hadn’t tasted bad. That’s something he’s never said out loud. Because it’s too shameful. Talking about the early days isn’t forbidden, per say, but there’s an understanding amongst the Tailies that you don’t discuss the actual experience of eating human flesh. Unless it’s in private with someone very, very close to you, you don’t talk about the worst things that went down in those days.

Curtis glances back to Phil, wondering. He doesn’t actually know who he’s eaten. Back in the Desperation, there had been a decision amongst the volunteers that their donations would be mingled and prepared anonymously, to avoid people knowing—even family members, even the donors themselves. Curtis gets lost in the horror of the memory for a minute or two as he stares across the car at Phil, wondering, remembering the taste …

He snaps out of it when Rose says something to him, and he realizes that he’s still got his right hand stuck up his left coat sleeve, touching the scar. Rose’s voice pulls him out of it, like a fog suddenly lifting, and Curtis hastily picks his bowl back up, asking Rose to repeat herself and then mustering a cheerful answer for her as he puts the memories of the past back in the box on the shelf in his mind.

He and Rose sit shoulder to shoulder and converse over their bowls of stew. It’s one of only a few things that Tailies ever have to eat, and it consists of broth made from cooked down protein blocks, and chunks of meat from the only other animal that shares the tail section with them.

Yeah, they eat rats. Curtis has stopped caring at this point. In fact, he’s not sure he ever really cared in the first place. Once you start with cannibalism, the only way to go is up. And it doesn’t taste too bad—especially since they’ve graduated from catching the rats to actually breeding them in cages. Between that and the artificial salt substitute that Curtis negotiated as part of last year’s package, things have a nicer flavor to them than they used to.

“Didn’t you work in the kitchen car for a hot second?” he says between one sip and another, when he’s paused to try and use his fingernail to get a stringy bit of meat out from between his teeth. “What’d Wanda have you and MJ doing in there?”

Rose makes a face. “There're only a couple steps to making this slop, Curtis. Use your imagination.”

He laughs at the comical shudder she gives, and she kicks him for laughing at her. “So dramatic,” he teases. “What do you have to compare it to, anyway, huh?” He rolls his eyes. “Train babies. Don’t realize how good you have it.”

She gasps and pokes him as though he’s heaved a grave insult at her. “I am not a train baby!”

“Barely.”

“I’m eighteen!” she says, as if that makes her a full fledged adult. “I remember food from Before,” she insists, and Curtis shakes his head in amusement at her.

“Fine. What do you remember?” He’s breaking one of his own rules for her, talking about Before. It should alarm him but it doesn’t. “What food?” he taunts.

She sticks her chin out haughtily and thinks about it, before declaring, “Goldfish. And noodles. I remember noodles.”

It takes all Curtis has inside him not to snicker at her expense. He does want this girl to like him, after all. He looks down at his own bowl of stew and smiles fondly. “Goldfish crackers and noodles. That’s very specific.” The kind of thing a young child would remember. “Is that all?”

She twists her lips and admits, “Yeah.”

You have blocked a lot of it out, Curtis thinks sadly. Just not the parts that happened after Boarding. “It’s better that way,” he tells her. “Makes all of this more bearable.” Rose has never really had a life that was anything other than “bearable,” and while that is something of a mercy for her, it also makes Curtis want to be the one to give her more; be the one to introduce her to finery and pleasure, show her what it can taste like, what it can feel like. “There’s things I want to get for us,” he tells her, speaking quietly because he doesn’t need the people nearby overhearing and getting themselves worked up. “Things for the Tail, food I want to negotiate for. I think this might be the year.”

Rose looks intrigued. “What?”

“Lean closer,” Curtis whispers. “This is top secret.”

She smirks and scootches even closer to him, until they’re pressed together from hip to shoulder. “What?” she whispers.

Curtis looks her in the eye and lets the tension build for a moment, trying his damnedest to keep his expression serious, and then he declares, “Goldfish and noodles.”

She gives an outraged squawk and swats at him for making fun of her, though she’s laughing herself. “You suck!”

Curtis stays her hand, pulling her into a one-armed hug and apologizing through his own laughter. “Wait, wait, wait. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Shh. I’ll tell you.” He calms down from laughing. “I’ll tell you, I will.”

“Jerk,” she mutters, but he can hear the fondness in her voice.

“Chickens,” he whispers in her ear. “You remember those?”

She purses her lips thoughtfully, then shrugs in a way that tells him she really doesn’t. “That’s an animal,” she says, in what she doesn’t realize is a sad demonstration of her limited knowledge. “A bird.”

“Yeah,” Curtis says. “Yeah it is. You know the New Year’s eggs?” Every year since Year Five, a wheelbarrow from uptrain arrives on New Year’s Day bearing the coveted gift of hundreds of gleaming white, hard-boiled eggs—one for each blasted soul who lives trapped in the Tail section. Rose hums and Curtis nods. “Those come from chickens. They lay the eggs and you can eat them. It’s a good source of food. And you can kill the chickens and eat them, too. Eat their meat.”

“But … don’t baby chickens come from the eggs?” Rose asks naively.

Curtis smirks. “Yeah, but that’s when they’re fertilized. If a male chicken isn’t around fucking the hens, then the eggs just come out, and you can eat ‘em. They don’t have baby chicks in them.” He watches Rose’s face screw up at the stark visual, and is surprised when she bluntly declares,

“Oh. So … like a period, with us.”

Curtis almost swallows his tongue. First of all, he wouldn’t have expected Rose to be able to make the comparison. Because she may be old enough to bleed, but they don’t exactly have comprehensive sex ed in the Tail. As far as Curtis knows, the girls are taught young—very young—what sex is, what it leads to, and how to avoid it at all costs. Curtis doesn’t think he’s heard a person talk openly about these things since before Boarding. It just isn’t done. The women handle their stuff themselves, and the men have their heads bitten off if they interfere.

“Um,” he says, face heating. “Yeah, I guess. Except you don't lay eggs." Rose snorts and Curtis winces and scratches awkwardly behind his ear. “So anyway, I want to get us some chickens. If we had those, it’d help a lot.”

Rose stares pensively into the depths of her soup bowl, with its globulous broth and stringy bits of meat. “It’d taste better than this?”

Curtis scoffs. “Most things do, Petal.”

“Jeez, you’re really sticking with that, aren’t you?”

He wraps an arm around her shoulders and gives her a squeeze, laying out his vision for the future. “I want to negotiate for another car. With dirt and chickens.”

“Dirt?”

“Yeah. They grow things uptrain. Crops. We could too. We could raise chickens in half of it, grow potatoes in the other half.”

Rose looks at him like he’s just announced he’ll be negotiating for the moon. “They’ll never give it to you,” she whispers. “Why would they?”

“If I could threaten them with something big enough. We might have the bargaining power.”

“What would you threaten them with?”

He smiles sadly and squeezes her shoulder. “I dunno. That’s what I’ve gotta figure out.”

“But you’re not gonna … I mean there’s not going to be another war, is there? Not like before …”

There’s genuine fear in her voice when she asks, which makes Curtis feel like crap. Everyone had suffered back then. Many had died. He thinks about how Rose would’ve only been eleven or so, during the Year Five Rebellion. Just a kid, still playing with the crummy little doll Curtis made for her. “No, Hon,” he promises gently. “No. There are other ways. Other things we can do to gain leverage. It just takes time.”

“What ways?”

He shakes his head and smiles. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I can’t help it,” she pouts. “I may not know many things. But I like to know them.”

He smiles fondly. “I know, Petal. You’re curious. Always have been. You like to 'know the scuttlebutt', as they say. You’re not afraid to ask questions. I like that about you.”

“You do?”

“... Among other things.” He sees her cheeks color prettily, and realizes he’d better stop talking. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’d tell you if I could, but these things are above your paygrade. Me and Gilliam’ll figure it out.” He shoots her a wink. “That’s why they pay us the big bucks.”

She titters at that, because they both know that there’s no such thing as money in the Tail. Oh there’s currency, for sure, just not the kind that’s handed over as stacks of bills. Curtis lets his eyes drag over the few parts of Rose’s body that he can see: her attractive face and the slope of her neck, the delicate suggestion of a collar bone where it peeks out before it’s swallowed up by her sweater. He looks away. “I want to improve things for us. Change is possible. There are things we can get. We just have to work for it.”

“What things?” she presses, leaning closer.

He thinks about brushing her off, but he can see that she’s genuinely curious, and the interested gleam in her eyes sways him. Because ideas can mean hope, and he wants her to have hope. They’ve both seen what can happen when there isn’t any.

He tells her about the basic medicines and medical supplies that could be useful, tells her about the items they could receive if people uptrain were more willing to bargain. “More castoffs would go to us, instead of into the recycling machines,” he tells her. While it is true that some old and unwanted items eventually make their way into the Tailies’ “market,” the sad fact is that many more materials are cleansed, disintegrated, and recycled for use through the train’s 3d printing machines. Curtis has never seen them, but due to his yearly talks with a woman named Melanie, he now knows that they exist, and they’re why not much gets sent back to the Tailies.

“We’d have more clothes, toys and books, all sorts of new things.” Of course when he says “new” he only means new in the sense of new to them. To people in the front, Tailies are second class citizens at best, subhumans at worst. The funny thing is, Curtis doesn’t take offense at it like he used to. He’s learned by now that it’s human nature to kill, cheat and steal, clamoring all over each other whenever resources are limited. They’ve literally eaten the weak in the Tail, after all. It’d be hypocritical to hold the first class passengers to a higher standard.

No, Snowpiercer is just a microcosm of humanity boiled down to its base elements. Nine-hundred people surviving on a miserable little train, barreling endlessly around the frozen corpse of the planet. Of course there’s going to be subjugation of the weak so that others can have more. Curtis doesn’t hold it against them anymore, but he sure as hell isn’t going to take it lying down. The Tailies were never ticketed passengers. They forced their way on, they scraped and scrounged and earned their survival. And if they ever get the chance, they’ll turn the tables on the passengers uptrain in a heartbeat. Curtis makes speeches about “leveling the playing field,” but he doesn’t have visions of utopia. Not really. He just wants to die in a feather bed.

“What would we have after chickens?” Rose asks, drawing Curtis out of his gloom. She knows as well as he does, what the definition of a 'pipe dream' is, but it’s fun to pretend with someone you like, and Curtis likes her. Always has. He likes that she hasn’t turned grey and dull like everyone else in the Tail. So he indulges her 'what ifs' and they continue to tease each other over various colorful and increasingly stupid imaginings: how they’ll have potatoes, and then beef, then televisions, bathtubs, a swimming pool.

At some point, Curtis realizes that he’s actually managed to make her smile, and giggle. Even sitting on a cold steel floor slurping at a bowl of rat and god-knows-what stew, he feels like a king knowing he was able to do that. “You’re really beautiful when you smile,” he blurts out, soaking up the way that her eyes get just a little bit wider and her lips part in surprise. He averts his attention back down to his bowl, pleased as punch. “‘Course, I always think you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, fully intending for her to hear.

She gets quiet after that, bashful and seemingly deep in thought. Curtis doesn’t worry though, because when everybody settles in to listen to that night’s story, she goes to fetch one of the blankets off her bunk and brings it back. She plops herself right back down next to Curtis and hands him a corner of the blanket to wrap it around both of their shoulders. He obliges. The assembly car fills up for that night’s entertainment, and just before the lights are dimmed down to their lowest level, Curtis locks eyes with Tanya from across the car, who’s shooting him a scrutinizing look. He’s grateful to escape her judgment for the moment, but he knows she’ll be on him before long.

They set out the tall stool at the head of the car, and Painter, the Tail’s historian, climbs up and settles on it.

A quiet man of short stature, Painter’s been performing the nightly stories since almost from the very beginning. He has a way of seeing things that others don’t, a way of weaving words and details together in graduating, elaborative cadence; like his drawings, like strings on a loom, always managing to convey the true heart of a matter in a way that resonates with people. It’s the closest thing to watching a movie any of them will probably ever get again, and in Curtis’ opinion it has just as much value as the food they feed their bodies with. People need more than just food to survive. They need community, they need love, they need hope.

Painter sits silently at first—a sign that he hasn’t decided on the topic and is taking suggestions that night. Someone calls out in the dimness to suggest The Man for tonight’s story, and a murmur of general agreement goes through the crowd. Up ahead on his stool, Painter nods. The Man was well known in the Tail, having long-served on Gillam’s council, among other things. Curtis hadn’t been lying to Rose, when he’d said that her father had been a good leader.

In the crook of his arm, he feels her shift subtly. Aware that this might be hard for her, he leans over and kisses the top of her head. “Hey, are you okay?” he whispers, giving her the option. “You want to go?” But she shakes her head and tucks herself further into him, so Curtis relaxes back, looking forward to getting to hold her in his arms for the next hour or two.

Painter does The Man justice. Children are always kept in another car during storytime, so that the plotlines don’t have to be watered down for their sensibilities, but even still, Curtis doesn’t doubt that Painter knows Rose is present, because he takes care to soften the corners of the story where she features, and to use gentle words when the most painful memories are fleshed out.

For over an hour, Curtis lets his eyes slip closed and the words wash over him. He tucks his nose into Rose’s hair and breathes the scent of her in, holding her small, soft body against him. He can feel every shift and sway that she gives as she hears the story, too, and they enjoy their time together, connecting over the shared intimacy of Painter’s words.

At some point, he brings her into his lap, and she comes so easily—like she was just waiting for the invitation, and is relieved that he wants her there. This isn’t something they’ve done before. Not like this. And he can tell by the slight tension in her body that she knows it, too. This is new. It could be the first time a man has ever showed her attention like this, and Curtis wants it to be good and easy for her. He gently rubs her back as the story stretches on, relieved when he can feel all the tension slowly leaving her. “Good girl,” he whispers against her hair.

She hums and rubs her cheek on his chest with complete trust, and Curtis suddenly remembers what it used to feel like to sink into a full, hot bath. Is this what it means to be touch starved? he wonders. Probably. It’s been so long since he’s been genuinely intimate with another person, that he’d almost forgotten the feeling.

Eventually he can hear the tone of Painter’s words changing, can hear it all coming to a close as he wraps up his retelling of that night’s story. Curtis has never hated anything more. Please, he thinks. Please let him keep going. Let him keep talking just a little bit longer so she’ll stay in my arms. He doesn’t want to let her go.

… Maybe if he plays his cards right, he won’t have to.

Tanya does confront him that night, cornering him by her spot before he can follow after Rose on her path to the wash car. “Pretty sure that girl knows how to bathe herself,” she says, hand planted firmly on Curtis’ chest. “She doesn’t need you, Curtis.”

Curtis loses sight of Rose going into the next bunk car, and he settles back onto his heels, glaring at Tanya. “I’m trying to look out for her.”

Tanya raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “You sure that’s all you’re trying to do?”

Curtis’s eyes narrow. “Have you been paying attention? Look around.” He nods at the crowded bunk car around them and speaks in a hushed tone. “You’re in charge of all the female stuff, you should know better than anyone what’ll happen now that her father’s gone. I’m only trying to protect her.”

Tanya purses her lips. “Uh huh. Protect her with your penis, is that how?”

“Jesus.” Curtis takes a step back, crossing his arms in frustration. He leans back against a metal rail. “I’m just being realistic,” he eventually says, after sulking over it for a moment. He respects Tanya—she’s a crucial part of the Tail, helping the women who get pregnant and give birth, helping the girls when they start developing (and, eventually, when they start attracting the attention of the men). “You’ve seen them looking?” he asks, not having to look at Tanya to know that she understands him. “So what am I supposed to do? Just wait until somebody else stakes their claim?”

Tanya makes an angry sound, though it isn’t directed at Curtis. “I stop them.”

“You stop the ones you can,” Curtis says lowly. “But eventually—”

“Eventually is eventually. Right now is right now,” she hisses.

Curtis turns back to her. “We play it your way and the first guy who stakes his claim gets her. That’s how it works. You know that. Is that what you want, huh?” Tanya’s face works in frustration, and Curtis softens. “Hey,” he says, placing a consoling hand on her shoulder. “I don’t like it either. We do the best we can with what we have.” He feels her shoulders rise and fall in a beleaguered sigh.

“I boxed Batroc’s ears last week,” she tells him; her way of giving tacit approval. “Keep an eye on that dirtbag.”

Curtis nods. He’s aware of who the biggest threats are, currently. It’s the men in their twenties and thirties who prey on the up and coming girls. Marriage isn’t a thing in the tail so much as claiming is. The men have a sort of ‘first dibs’ honor system that Curtis despises, but that he can’t change on his own. Not when the majority is so set on it. “I’m not going to force her,” he promises Tanya. “Okay? I’ll give her the choice. You know I will.”

Tanya’s jaw works, but eventually she nods and turns to the side to let him pass. Curtis pats her shoulder in thanks and heads off in the direction that Rose went with her towel.

He gets there just a few seconds too late—or at least, that’s what he thinks when he hears her crying out from the women’s side of the wash car. Curtis barrels around the partition, heedless of whoever else may be in there when he can hear Rose in distress.

There’s a man standing at her back, pushing her face up against the wall of one of the stalls. She’s naked, the shower spraying aimlessly not even a foot away. She’s struggling, crying … and the man’s pants are halfway down his thighs.

Curtis sees red. “Get the fuck off her!”

Everything happens in a blur: him pulling the man back by his shirt and throwing him onto the floor at the opposite side of the car, the man’s head hitting the wall, Rose crying out in fear, Curtis going over to gather her naked body into his arms. “Are you okay?” he asks breathlessly, holding her as she sobs and presses her head of soaked hair against him. His hands slide over the water-slicked skin of her back, his heart in his throat. “Did he hurt you?”

She sobs and shakes her head, clinging to him. “Curtis!”

“Shh, you’re okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He looks across the car at the man, who’s now rubbing his head with a pained wince. Curtis feels rage consume him and he has no control over his actions as he abandons Rose by the stall and stalks across the car to punch the guy square in the face. He immediately grabs his shirt collar and hauls him back in. “Who the fuck do you think you are?!” he roars.

“Stop!” the man—a guy Curtis knows only as Hodge—coughs out, speaking through blood and what’s likely a broken nose. He holds up his hands to defend himself from further assault, and Curtis shakes him with a furious growl.

“Did you touch her?! What did you do? I’ll kill you!”

“I didn’t!” Hodge coughs, pushing against Curtis. “I didn’t do anything! I was just—”

Curtis slams him back into the wall of the car. “Then why’s your dick out?!” Hodge sinks down the wall to the floor and Curtis follows him down. “Answer me!”

“I just wanted to talk to her!”

He’s about to reach down and rip this guy’s nuts off, but Rose calling to him from the other side of the car draws his attention away: “Curtis, please. Curtis!” She’s standing there—naked, wet and shivering, futilely trying to cover herself. She looks at him pleadingly through her tears. “He didn’t. You stopped him. He didn’t.”

It’s enough to make Curtis rein himself in from further violence. Rose needs him more than he needs to hurt Hodge. Still, he shakes the man again as he hauls him back up to standing and shoves him towards the exit of the car. “This isn’t finished,” he warns him at the door, pushing him through hard enough that he falls to his ass on the other side. Curtis points at him. “You’ll pay for this.”

He slams the door and goes back to Rose, who’s still standing there looking lost, shivering, cold. The shower’s still running, so Curtis hurries over to turn the water off. He grabs the towel that’s hanging on the hook and brings it to Rose, intending to bundle her up as quickly as he can. She takes it and wraps it around herself, but it ends at mid thigh and Curtis’ eyes are drawn to a trickle of red running down her inner thigh. All the blood drains from his face. “You’re bleeding,” he says, horrified.

Rose looks down at it and sniffles. “Oh.”

“I’ll fucking kill him,” Curtis breathes, already turning to go back out and finish the job.

“Curtis! Curtis wait!” Rose grabs his arm with both hands as she shakes her head frantically. “I’m fine. It’s my period. He didn’t hurt me.”

Curtis calms down, his chest heaving from adrenaline. “You swear?” he urges, grabbing her upper arms and holding her in front of himself to get a better look at her. Now that he’s paying attention, he can see that she’s dripping wet and rattled, but not visibly hurt.

“I swear. I’m okay.”

His eyes track back down to the blood on her leg, suspicious until he looks beyond and sees her pile of clothing sitting over on a shelf. There’s a small folded rag there the likes of which he’s seen before; what the women pass around silently amongst themselves when they bleed. Curtis calms down as he realizes that Rose is telling the truth and not just lying to keep him from murdering Hodge. He lets go of her upper arms, suddenly aware that she may not want him touching her right at this moment. “Sorry,” he mutters, not knowing what else to say. He feels like he’s just run a marathon, his heart is beating so fast.

Rose surprises him by throwing herself into his arms again, a sob making her whole body heave against him. “Thank you,” she cries, hugging him, hiding her face against his chest. “Curtis, god. If you hadn’t come in …”

“Shh. I did. I did come,” he reassures her, wrapping his arms around her fully again now that he knows it’s welcome. She feels so small. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

They stand there for who knows how long. Minutes, at least. Calming down together. Rose’s crying fades, and Curtis’ blood pressure re-enters the stratosphere. He can feel the red hot anger and instinct to kill bleeding out of his mind the longer that time stretches on. He becomes aware of how cold Rose must be in only her towel and still all wet. “Here,” he says, ushering her back towards the shower. The stalls have changing areas right in front of them, and he steps back so that she can have privacy. “Get dried off. Get dressed,” he says. “I’ll …” his gaze falls back down to the trail of red on her leg. He swallows thickly and averts his eyes. “I’ll be right here.”

Shakily, she nods and pulls the curtain. She gets dressed, and when she opens the curtain again, her hair has been towel-dried and hangs limply about her face. She looks shyly up at Curtis. “Hey.”

“C’mere, Honey.”

She folds back herself into his arms eagerly, whining and pressing into him. “Thank you,” she whispers. “God, Curtis. Thank you.”

“I should’ve been here,” he grunts, thinking of how Tanya had held him back. He silently curses her. “I knew something like this would happen,” he hisses to himself, though he regrets saying it when he feels how it makes her shudder against him.

“Can we get out of here, please?”

He nods and starts to lead them towards the door of the car. He’s not surprised to find Hodge gone on the other side. Curtis silently fumes about what he’d walked in on, as he leads Rose backtrain. They walk through the car where her spot is, and Curtis gives her hand a squeeze when she looks back at it and makes a questioning noise. “I want you with me tonight,” he tells her, gentle but firm, because no way in hell is he leaving her alone now. “Please?” he coaxes, pleased when she looks up to him and nods.

“Okay.”

He smiles softly. “Good girl.”

Curtis has a good sized spot. Certainly big enough for two, which he’s grateful for when he guides her to scoot in across the bed. His is the third bunk up out of four, which means climbing a few rungs, but once you’re up there it affords a fair sense of privacy, especially once he draws the curtain across to close them in together. He flicks the small lamp on, its dim bulb flickering to life and giving just enough light to see by.

He’s got his blankets spread out on the bed. There’s plenty of room enough to sit up and move around, all of his worldly possessions hung to the wall or else strapped against the top of the bunk above. “Home sweet home,” he says, gesturing around half heartedly. “Nothing special.”

“It’s nice.” Rose looks around with a little curiosity before tucking her head down. She shrugs. “You’ve got one of the lights. Our spot doesn’t. I mean … my spot,” she amends quietly. “Our neighbor has the light.”

The lights are built into the walls, meant to faintly illuminate what were once the train’s original baggage racks, powered by the Arc Reactor and impossible to move. But some people have managed to rig up their own lamps from salvaged materials and a little creative wiring over the years. There are no windows in the Tail. Curtis has heard that there are windows uptrain, but he doesn’t know whether to be jealous or not. Would it really improve anything, to have a view of the wasted, frozen world they left behind? He’s not so sure. At least this way they can pretend that Snowpiercer is all there is, the delusion only ruined whenever the Jackboots arrive to deliver food or raid them.

Curtis settles beside her and knocks their legs together. “I’ll keep my eye out for something in the market,” he promises. “Someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be in the dark.”

She smiles as though pained, looking down at her lap. “Being pretty is what got me into this mess.”

Curtis sighs. “No. It’s not just that, Hon.” He cups her face, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone. “It’s not just that.”

“What then?”

He smiles sadly. “Look, if there’s one thing you gotta understand about men, it’s that we covet the rare … and the pure. You’re good. Truly good, in a way most of us aren’t. In a way we can’t afford to be.” He drops his hand and turns away, feeling gross for having told her that, for having included himself in the roster of ‘men’ who think like that. But it’s true. “That’s why you stand out,” he mutters. “None of us are good the way you’re good.”

“What? But you’re good.”

Curtis scoffs. “Please.”

“You are! You’re on council aren’t you?”

He rolls his eyes. “That means I’m good with people, not good. There’s a difference.”

“No,” Rose insists. “No, you help everyone. You lead us, try to make life better for us.” She gets incensed when he continues to disagree. “You do! You … you make dolls for little girls who’ve lost all their toys. You protect us.”

Curtis slumps back against the wall. “Is that what I did back there? Protected you?”

“Yes. Curtis you saved me. You stopped him from …” She falters, unable to say the word, and the silence grows uncomfortable between them. Eventually she stares down at her lap and scoffs bitterly.

Curtis looks over. He doesn’t like the pinch that’s settled between her eyebrows. There’s something strangely self-deprecating about it, and he can’t figure out what’s going on in her head. “Hey.” He nudges her knee with his. “What are you thinking, Hon?”

She shakes her head. “Hodge,” she whispers. “He said things.”

“Oh god. Don’t. Rosie, don’t pay attention to anything that cretin said. Did he threaten you? Because if he did, you know I still have half a mind to rip off his—”

“He said that somebody would choose me, and if it isn’t him it’ll be someone else ‘staking their claim’.” She looks rather mortified as she repeats it. “And he’s not wrong. I mean that’s the way it’s done, isn’t it?” she asks bitterly. “The men. They choose who they want. We don’t get a say. Not really.”

“Rosie,” Curtis mourns, wishing that he could spare her, wishing he could tell her that she has choices, choices that people will respect. But he doesn’t want to lie. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to. “Hey,” he says instead. “You know I care about you, right?”

She nods, sniffling. “Yeah.”

“You should sleep here. Not just tonight but every night.” He can tell by her reaction that she realizes what he means, and he’s pleased when she leans against his side, still seeking comfort in him. He relaxes now that the hardest part is done. “Would you like that, Petal?” he asks softly, wrapping his arm around her and holding her close. She scoffs at the nickname, and Curtis kisses the top of her head. It’s been a long time since he’s had another person in his bunk—a long time. Not having a partner is lonely, sure, but with the way things are in the tail, it’s easier just to jerk off. Romance is all but dead, as is evidenced by the Tailies’ near-transactional customs regarding sex and relationships. “Will you?” he checks, relieved when she gives a little nod and a sniffle.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“I don’t want that either.”

They sit there in silence for a while, and just as Curtis starts to wonder if Rose has fallen asleep, she whispers, “What was it like?”

“What was what like?”

“Men and women. Before. How did it …” she pauses, considering what she wants to say, or perhaps how to ask. “My dad and my mom,” she settles on. “They loved each other. Nobody claimed my mom. They chose each other.”

Curtis nods and gives her arm a squeeze. “Yeah. That’s how it was.”

“Tell me?” she asks, sounding for all the world like a child asking for a bedtime story. “Please?”

Curtis rubs her back, resigning himself to telling her the truth. “People met,” he says. “At school, at work, through friends. If they liked each other romantically, they dated.”

“What’s ‘dated’?”

He winces where she can’t see. “When you liked someone, you’d ask them out on a date. You’d meet them and go do something nice together. Something fun. Get a drink or see a movie, eat a meal in a restaurant.”

“Did the man decide the dates?”

He frowns. “Sometimes. Women would too, though. Sometimes they’d be the one to ask the guy out. It just depended.”

“What happened next?” Rose asks.

“Well … you’d just keep spending time together, you’d keep dating. If the people decided not to date anybody else, they’d agree to be a couple. Boyfriend and girlfriend. … Or husband and wife.”

“What’s the difference?”

Curtis winces at how sad it is that she doesn’t know that. The long term implications of their confinement in the Tail section are obvious and jarring, at times like this. He licks his lips. “Marriage was more serious than dating. More permanent. You might break up with your girlfriend eventually, but if you made her your wife, then that was like saying you wanted to be together forever.” He doesn’t bother getting into the concept of divorce, knowing that she just needs a basic understanding of the matter. “That’s how it was,” he finishes. “Before.”

Rose is quiet for a long while, thinking it over. Eventually she says, “And now the men choose.”

Curtis hates how resigned she sounds about it. “What happened in the wash car isn’t allowed,” he says, aware of the way her body tenses against him. “I’ll make sure Hodge is punished. But the thing is, Sweetheart … I’m worried he won’t be the last.”

Rose sniffles. “It’s ‘cause my dad’s gone, isn’t it?”

“That doesn’t help the matter. But you’ve been old enough for a while now, for some. And I’ve seen them looking.”

“For some?” Rose peeks up at him. “Not you?”

Curtis hesitates to answer. “... You’re young, Honey.” It’s not like he can say that he wants her. But saying that he doesn’t would be a total lie. He might not be looking yet, if he didn’t have the other men to worry about; but he does have to worry about them, and so he has been looking. “I’ll make sure Hodge is punished,” he reiterates. “Severely. Even with the way things are now, that was completely beyond the pale.” He feels that hot surge of fury boil up inside him again as he thinks about it: Rose standing there, shivering and crying, Hodge with his hands on her, his dick hanging out of his pants. “He was going to rape you,” Curtis growls. “He needs to pay.”

“And the others?” she asks. “You’ll stop them?”

His chest aches at her unshakable faith in him and what she thinks he can do. “I can only protect you one way,” he murmurs, pulling her close and burying his nose in her hair so that she can’t look up at him with those big doe eyes again. “Has Tanya talked to you much?” he asks. Her head moves against him in a little nod, but she doesn’t say anything. Curtis kisses her hair. “What happened in the wash car could happen again. Someone’ll want to claim you.” She whines and rubs her face against his sweater, clinging to him. He pulls her into his lap just like he had during storytime, earlier that night. “Hey,” he soothes, “I wish it could be different, you know? Wish I could take you outta here, make other people respect your choices.” He sighs sadly. “That’s just not how it works anymore, Petal.”

“I know,” she says quietly. “Would you take me on a date, Before?” He hesitates, and she notices. She looks up at him. “You wouldn’t?”

“You’re too young for me,” he admits. “Or you would’ve been. Before.”

“Now I’m not?” she asks, and Curtis averts his eyes uncomfortably, because of course she’s still too fucking young. If they were still in the World she’d be finishing up high school, going to prom and the mall, glued to her phone. Learning about sex from school and porn and from fumbling encounters with boys her own age, not from some jaded midwife in a squalid train car.

“Now …” he sighs. “Now, it’s different. It doesn’t make it right, but girls become fair game once they’re about your age. And any man who’s interested can try for you.”

“I know that,” she whispers. “But what about you? Are you interested?”

Curtis’ mouth is dry. He can’t answer. So he nods smally instead. He’s surprised when she doesn’t seem frightened or upset by this admission. He lets his hands hold her more securely, fingers dipping into the curve of her waist from over her sweater. “I care about you,” he croaks. “I want to protect you. And the only way I know to do that is to claim you myself.”

“Will you?” she asks. She lays her cheek back against his chest and yawns. “Claim me?”

Above her resting head, Curtis grinds his teeth. “Let’s just take it one day at a time, okay Hon?”

“Mm.” She nods sleepily. “Okay. I trust you, Curtis. Thank you for helping me today.”

He doesn’t answer her, just holds her against him and rubs her back as she gradually falls to sleep. He’s not the man she thinks he is, and she should be in her own spot right now, not tucked away in here with him, because sooner or later he knows he’s going to take advantage. He’ll have her, and he’ll make sure that every other man in the train knows that she’s his. That may not be what she really wants, or even what’s good for her.

But oh well, he thinks. At least it’s better than the alternative.

Masterlist

If you liked what you read and feel so inclined, please consider dropping a tip in the Kofi🍵 cup!

This has been a fill for:

@badthingshappenbingo

Card: sarah-writes-stucky

Square N4: "to serve man"

[best-phan-video-poll]

Round 1, wave 11

[nikkeisimmer]

Narrator: Well, they all seem to have found a sleeping spot and it appears that they are able to enjoy their night...or more accurately, some of them are able to enjoy their night.

Kimber: Maybe I’ll wake up and this will be all a bad dream…

Narrator: Probably not. At least it’s not raining because that would deeply disturb our slumbering individuals and we want them to have a nice sleep, don’t we?

The Watcher: ~evil chuckle~ Wanna bet?

Narrator: Aside from the Watcher who is just plain psychotic and loves throwing meteors around.

Everyone: What the hell was that?

Narrator: Evidently your Watcher is seeking amusement again. He must be bored.

Mac: Harm, this is all YOUR fault that I’m awake at four in the morning.

Harm: I didn’t anger the Watcher.

Mac: sure, you didn’t.

Kimber: I think I slept wrong, my neck is killing me.

Phil: The Watcher must be protecting us. That meteor could have landed on our heads while we were asleep. All praise the Watcher most Merciful.

Watcher: Dammit, I missed.

Maegyn: So much for sleep, I guess I’ll make breakfast.

Kimber: Maybe today will go better.

Narrator: And maybe today will be the day that your crush ends up proposing to Maegyn…

Kimber: Y’know, Narrator, you really are a horse’s...~bleep~.

Meg (typing on social media): this morning we nearly got flattened by a meteor. We were extremely lucky it didn’t fall on top of our heads while we were sleeping. I sure hope those rocks are worth something. Animal is collecting them now as I type this.

Jack: Y’know, Meg, we just narrowly survived a near death experience. Whattaya say?

Meg: What are you getting at? Jack?

Jack: Well...you, me...the joy of being alive...y’know...the connection that a traumatic event brings...hey…

Meg: You’re not making any sense, Jack.

Kimber (checking horoscope): Today you will find a revelation that will dictate your path in life. Can they be more deliberately vague?

Narrator: I don’t know. They don’t seem to be trying all that hard.

Kimber: you’re the omniscient Narrator, don’t you know what’s going to happen?

Narrator: Nope and even if I did, would I tell you?

Kimber: Would be nice.

Narrator: Naw, it would spoil the surprise.

Kimber: Did anyone tell you how much I hate your guts.

Phil: There’s nothing like a good grilled cheese sandwich to start the morning off just right.

Maegyn: Did anyone ever tell you that you’re insane, Phil?

Phil: Just my family and my psychiatrist.

Narrator: A good filling meal and starting off the day. Although not at peak performance, the sleep they got overnight will have to do. And now we are on Monday morning. Considering all of them have read through their first books they needed in terms of handiness and inventing, they should all be on level 3 of each. Which means they each get to put up one wall section apiece.

And once that was done, they set about doing what was necessary to get ahead. The Watcher has generously provided two invention tables, two science stations, two potion tables, a conjuring cauldron and a RGB gem cutter. And Meg will have to go and get the next level of books for the group. Welcome to Monday.

[raisans-art]

Hiii what's your favorite au you've worked on? In any fandom?

yOU

YOU WHO SIT WITH ME IN VC WITH ME CURRENTLY

FUCK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE PITS OF HELL AND BEYOND.

i love you but why

why would you do this.

Fuckin. Read under the cut if you want the absolute nightmare of a post this is.

So to the rest of you who did not get the displeasure of having to sit in call with me for an hour as I agonized o-so painfully over having to choose between children, I will explain that THIS WAS SO HARD.

THIS.

H U R T.

This is gonna be a long post.

So I narrowed my AUs down to 7, which I will list now:

I Was Looking for Someone, One Mountain of a Molehill, Test Tube Zedaph AU, The Human Illusion AU, Softwreck Series, Veernumbra AU, and Excavated God AU.

I was able to narrow further to AUs that I adore with my entire being and I will tell you WHY I love these AUs with my entire being. In no particular order because I physically cannot pick favourites.

I Was Looking For Someone: I love this au. I love this fic. I love it so much it is my child. I will finish it one day. I swear to god. I love writing the language barrier and having Ghost learn who and what he is and where his place is and just loving Someone so much that he remembers them post-mortem and searches so hard to find them. The consequences of being a zombie. The truth that no matter how you've changed and how the world has changed and what you've had to do to survive you will always find your home again and home will always find you under the callouses you've developed. I want to finish that. I love that. I love I Was Looking for Someone. And from how many comments and kudos and hits it has, you all do too.

Test Tube Zedaph AU: Yeah, it got really stressful. Especially at the end. The scheduling I did caused interest to dip significantly in between weeks and that was also discouraging. But I got stressed because I loved working on it and I loved the interaction. It was, for as much as I liked working on Fairly Odd Phil, so much better than it because I just had an all-around better experience crafting TTZAU and seeing people get happy and excited over it. I loved watching in real time as I make a post and people instantly come into the ask box asking follow-up questions. I love my funky little science experiment and his two dads. I love the issues and trauma that arise from that living condition and getting out and learning to be okay and being happy outside of those conditions. The wonders of learning about the world for the first time. The wonder of holding dirt in your hands as you stare at a sunset.

The Human Illusion AU: While you are my newborn, the youngest of the family I still love you all the same. I love the story I have planned. I love all the ways I'm telling that story. It's the first story that I'm posting publicly that I actually have a concept of shot comp and leading the eye and all these filming and animation-making techniques that I'm applying to these comics to make them easier to read and follow. I love the practice. And I love the story. You don't know the story and I love that too. I love showing you this story. I love posting chapter by interlude by chapter. I love my silly little train men. I love my bear cub story. I love making the hisuian language and adding language barriers after language barriers to put you guys in Ingo and Emmet's shoes so you just understand what they understand which is nothing. And I love trying to teach you all hisuian, one word a day.

Veernumbra AU: So, Veernumbra AU in this is special, as some might have a concept of. Veernumbra isn't one specific au, it's a personalized stock au. The rest of the world has its "Florest and Tattoo Artist" and "Coffee Shop" and "Royalty" aus. I have Veernumbra. Nearly every fandom I've been in since its conception has had a Veernumbra AU. I've had Veernumbra AU for what has to have been over 5 years. It'll be 6 years old this year. I have developed this world and concept so much over the years. It means so much to me. It's entirely my own. Which like kinda makes it hard to introduce as an au to a new audience because there's no basis for anyone to go off of. But I also kinda don't care. I love it. It's my baby. It's my oldest, my wisest, my sweetheart to the ends of the earth. I will never not love the time and care I've put into Veernumbra.

Excavated God AU: Dude I loved this story so much I made it an original story that I'm making a youtube series for.

[spritehouse]

fuck you. DID's your luke alvez.

+ a glossary for some system terms

CW: talk of religion (catholicism) in a neutral/somewhat positive tone

1. luke is the host and primary protector. the "original" luke/"core" and their previous primary protector integrated in response to trauma, and he kept the name luke.

2. they split during/after the events of 14x "luke." luke was the one to find phil's body, but split so he wouldn't have that memory to protect him.

3. predominantly male, bi, and acespec system

4. religious trauma not gonna talk too much about the trauma, but it didn't stem from abuse from their family—they have positive relationships with most of their family. also, most of them are still religious; when they were younger, they weren't, but as they got older and worked through some of that trauma, they learned to separate religion from that trauma and used it as a way of regaining some control.

5. a lot of system members stem from figures in catholicism especially those that stem from their early childhood. they aren't necessarily introjects, but stem from religious beliefs*

glossary:

host: usually the alter that fronts the most and handles day-to-day activities

protector/primary protector: an alter whose job it is to protect the system from perceived threats, internal or external. a primary protector is typically the one who fronts the most

core: a semi-controversial term, which is why it's in quotes, but it's often referred to as "the original" alter. (though a more accurate description would be the person that the disorder was developed to protect)

integration: two or more alters "combining" to become one. often compared to gem fusions from steven universe

splitting: one alter becoming multiple. this usually happens after a traumatic event to protect part of the brain from that trauma

introjects: sometimes referred to as fictives/factives. they are alters that mimic characteristics of a person or character, usually for protection.

*alters are formed by the brain, commonly a child's brain, trying to protect itself. as a result, alters of people, characters, or animals that the brain perceives as strong to withstand trauma, or can escape/hide from the threat are formed. in this case, luke was taught that certain figures from the bible/in catholicism are resilient and overcame great hardships, so his brain created alters of those figures to survive

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 54

Chapter 54: “B06-32, Part 4”

Yuugo gives Ray an impossible choice: to give up the pen and leave the shelter, or die, with Emma being the first casualty. He knows abandoning the shelter would be far too dangerous, as it would leave the children no where to go and obviously deny them of valuable resources and safety. Not that I wanna remember it, but the situation would be very similar to what happened in season two when the shelter blew up way too early for our liking and the kids were forced to evacuate. They had a super hard time surviving during that time skip, with always being on guard and not making much progress with their goals.

And without the pen, the kids wouldn’t be able to connect with WM or learn more about the world. If they lose this, they’ll also lose their chances at a better life and future for themselves and the children left back at GF.

So, the fact that the safety and future of all the children is on par with Emma’s life in Ray’s mind is amazing for both sides. Obviously, it shows how much she means to him above all else, with one life being just as valuable as so many others, but it also shows how important everyone else became to Ray as well, which says a lot for a boy who once only cared about Emma & Norman. This is just a major improvement on Ray’s part and I’m so proud how deeply he values his entire family now.

Thankfully Emma’s quick thinking spares Ray from making any sort of decision and everyone’s various reactions are simply priceless! Also giving our girl some more credit for staying relatively calm the entire time she was held at gunpoint.

Gilda has a fair concern and Emma’s lucky it didn’t play out that way. Also, we now get Ray calling Emma a “blockhead.” My, how the tables have turned since ch34.

The way she doesn’t even flinch when Yuugo shoots at her and the bullet grazes her cheek. That shot would’ve probably hit her ear there if she still had it. Seeing Emma taunt him right back is such an awesome moment for her too. Another one of my favorites for her.

Pfftt, dead or alive, 15 kids are just a nuisance.

Yeeaaahhh girl, you tell him! Speak that heartfelt truth! AAhh damn it y’all, I know I’m not usually fond of protagonists, but she’s certainly a rare exception for me. Emma’s just too good.

When the talk-no-jutsu is so strong it sends a geezer spiraling into a full out breakdown. (I truly do feel so bad for this man though).

Kinda sweet how they’re sorta concerned for this man despite him threatening their lives minutes earlier, but their worries for him are very brief as they tie up him shortly after this though.

Ray wasting no time getting down to business. We’ve see his left eye countless times by now, but I dunno why he looks so off here? Maybe it’s the hair too? I dunno, it’s a weird panel of him, but on the flip side I adore Emma’s face. Look at her, channeling her inner Phil.

Still so ticked off that a simple change of replacing “poachers” with “help” effectively removed Goldy Pond from the anime’s story. That scene had such dark lighting in the episode that we couldn’t even see the names on the left wall, no matter how much you try and brighten it. I doubt they were even there.

Favorite panel/moment:

While Emma’s reaction to the bullet is indeed my favorite, I wanna put this here. A pretty perfect reaction image I say.

[mishervellous]

tagged by [muah muah smooch] @energievie, @creepkinginc and @surviving-maybe for this lil interview game! so fun!

what are some movie / tv quotes that you quote often?

this is a disney household, ESPECIALLY lilo & stitch (whenever lilo starts monologuing? those are my favorites to quote)

what is your favorite flower?

tulips 💐

if you were in avatar: the last airbender what element would you want to bend? earth, fire, water or air?

mmhh probably air? idk it is the coolest imo

what was your first job?

i worked at a fast food thingy for two months when i was 16

what is your favorite breakfast?

whole wheat apricot jam croissant and a cappuccino. this ain’t even [chef’s kiss], i’m straight up making out with the chef is SO good

what's a meal from childhood that you love?

so my grandma wasn’t really into cooking and the only thing she made for us were these very thin spaghetti with butter and parmigiano that still hit to this day

what's your favorite joke to tell?

oh boy we’re opening pandora’s box here—i’ll tell you my favorite atm which happens to be fitting for the cottage boys: two windmills are chilling in a farm, one asks the other “what’s your favorite genre of music?” and the other goes “i’m a big metal fan”

what's your favorite animal to see at the zoo?

penguins!

what's your go to quick meal to cook / make at home?

boxed mushroom risotto

what's your go to meal to cook someone to impress them?

homemade pizza and/or focaccia

what's something you want to do better?

not overthink everything

if you're working do you like your job?

currently unemployed so i’d say i love it

do you collect anything? what?

pocket knives and foreign currency

if you were trapped in a kids tv show, what show would you be okay with being trapped in?

probably babar

an adults tv show?

modern family, i feel like me and phil would get along

what kind of job did you want as a child?

interpreter

do you follow any sports? what team do you root for?

my toxic trait is that i like football (or soccer for the yankees out there), and my other toxic trait is that i root for juventus smh

if you could be any animal what would you be and why?

an unassuming snail because it takes its time

if you could be any mythological creature what would you be and why?

annoying lil leprechaun because of the mischiefs

what's the most obscure thing you've had to google for a fanfic you were writing/reading?

if people could smoke inside american hospitals in the 80s

what milkovich do you identify with most?

probably sandy, she’s cool but also mysterious

which one are you actually like the most?

probably mickey, see: paternal trauma

what gallagher do you identify with most? / which one are you actually like the most?

i’d say ian? shared experiences, head empty kinda vibes and all

tagging @y0itsbri, @grumpymickmilk, @crossmydna, @spaceofentropy, @gallavich-headcanon, @heymrspatel and @metalheadmickey 💙

[leuke-rants]

Time to rant again cause I really need to get some stuff out of my chest.The canon ships in Shield Hero are awful!

Take what I say with a grain of salt because my "source" comes from YouTube comments,but I still want to talk about these ships.

•Wyndia x Ren x Eclair

Let's take the easy one out: Ren x Eclair. Just look at their ages

Ren is only 16 while Eclair is 20.This is straight up ped*phil*a and extremely gross.Although Eclair's age is not stated in the anime she is obviously an adult woman,both her face and personality are similar to other adult women we see such as the Queen and Ost.Ren's age is revealed in the first episode, there's no excuse for this.

And don't give me the shit "They aged Ren up,he is 18 now so it's ok",no it isn't!!!

They just did the same thing thrice,the first was Raphtalia and the second was Wyndia.

And speaking of Wyndia,her ship with Ren is terrible!Not only does it suffer for the same reasons as Raphtalia x Naofumi does,a little girl falling in love with someone significantly older than her but still end up together,Ren also murder her father!!!

I don't care if he was manipulated into killing the dragon,he still killed Wyndia's father,end of discussion!

•Rishia x Itsuki

These two are literally Sasuke and Sakura, you cannot change my mind.A girl is so in love with a guy to the point where she would jump off a cliff if he asked her to,only for that guy to not give a fuck about her,treat her like shit and try to kill her.

Rishia seriously tried to commit su*cide because of this guy and people still want them to end up together? What?

Now don't get me wrong,her crush on Itsuki makes sense,he saved her from imprisonment and freed her.The only problem is that he didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart,he saved Rishia and took her in to feed his hero complex.He treated her like a maid,he didn't even bother to train her because he didn't want anyone to outshine him and when she proved herself on the battlefield he found an excuse to kick her out because his ego got bruised.

Like,I don't even like Rishia but homegirl deserves way better!

•Raphtalia x Naofumi

And now the moment you have all been waiting for, the myth,the legend,the GOAT,the first ever ship in the Shield Hero: Raphtalia x Naofumi.....

It sucks!

First of all, Raphtalia is Naofumi's slave. I understand that he bought her out of desperation and he treats her very well but it doesn't change the fact that their relationship is not balanced.Naofumi has all the power,he is the master and Raphtalia answers to him and him only.She can't say no to him and is forced to abide by his rules because no matter how "wholesome" their relationship may look they are still master and slave. Raphtalia has no autonomy and Naofumi has too much power over her.

Just because Raphtalia is no longer a slave and has been promoted to a Hero doesn't suddenly make her relationship with Naofumi any better. Their relationship is based on Stockholm Syndrome,a little slave girl is bought by a man and when she grows up she falls in love with her owner.In fact, she is so in love with him to the point where she willingly goes back to slavery to be with him.

What.The.Actual.Fuck.

And let's not forget the cherry on top,the pseudo-incest.Naofumi literally raised Raphtalia,he makes it crystal clear to her and the audience that he sees her as a daughter and people still insist on shipping this.

Not to mention how their relationship was presented in the earliest episodes.

Naofumi takes care of Raphtalia when she is sick,comforts her when she is having nightmares,teaches her how to be strong and how to survive,cuts her hair,feeds her and buys her a toy when he notices her looking at other kids playing.

I just described a single father trying to take care of his daughter,what part of any of that seemed romantic to you?

Even when Raphtalia grows up Naofumi still orders the kids meal for her because he still sees her like a kid,his little girl,his daughter!

Like,people will look at scenes like this and say "Ah yes,a man and his future wife,such a romantic moment". Absolutely disgusting!

In conclusion the ships in the Shield Hero are awful and straight up gross.The ped*phil*c undertones,the toxic and abusive relationships the powers imbalance between the pairs makes these shisp terrible!

We could have had a cool and unique premise with complex characters but nooo,everyone has to be paired up with someone,said people have zero to little personalities and we gloss over the character development so we can see them hold hands or something.

What a waste of characters and story!

[i-am-beckyu]

im like. 90 percent sure that i have insomnia. so fun times :D

buuuut i did this with kayla once and i would like to do it with you too cause i am BORED and unable to sleep ^_^ /nf

imagine all of your au characters ever from any oneshot or au,,,, and see they're all on a boat together! but then that boat capsizes and they're forced onto an island.

who was a heavy influence in the boat capsizing?

who immediately jumps off to swim to safety but drowns

who tries to save the person who's drowning but also drowns?

who is the one coordinating everyone onto the island?

who is immediately going off to find food?

who runs off to go start a civilization on their own, away from everyone else?

who's crying at the beach reminiscing about their life

who instantly gets attacked by whatever animals inhabited the island?

who's assumed themself the position of the island ruler

who has dug a tunnel and started an intricate tunnel system?

who's already started contemplating a list of people that would be the best to eat as a last resort, and sounded a little too eager about it?

hope you like this idea cause i feel like it's a pretty fun concept :D and don't feel obligated to answer all of these fddfsj

I did a Brick, and let this marinate in my inbox :3 I don't know why I found this so hard to answer lol. Maybe its because they're all kinda similar in character? idk but here we go lol. (imma use acronyms for the long titles so just guess lol)

who was a heavy influence in the boat capsizing? Mine to hold close Tommy. He's the most comfortable and least traumatised character I have that would somehow cause a boat to capsize despite being tiny lol.

who immediately jumps off to swim to safety but drowns Pretty much any of the Borrower Tommy's would start to drown because they never learnt to swim. The one who would probably die drowning tho is Can we see the fireflies Tommy because he's afraid of the dark and if he could deep enough, would panic. (Good thing they've all got their Wilburs to help lol)

who tries to save the person who's drowning but also drowns? oooooOoO that's a hard one. I'm not really sure. Maybe another one of the Tommy's would try to save CWSTF Tommy but otherwise I don't think anyone else would drown.

who is the one coordinating everyone onto the island? JORNOS Phil and To Fly once more Phil and Kristin. Probably the only ones who could coordinate anything calmly. And I think full sbi from ATKIFYIHIMT Would probably help get everyone to shore. They're mers so ya know, they swim.

who is immediately going off to find food? mmmm probably JORNOS Techno because he wants to get away from people and maybe TFOM Phil. Survival and such.

who runs off to go start a civilization on their own, away from everyone else? Probably the Dream team from The Perfect Hill and Don't forget to mention that. They're like vastly outnumbered by Wilburs and Tommys.....

who's crying at the beach reminiscing about their life My monster to slay Tommy, probs with MMTS Wilbur too for comfort. Kids been through enough and wants to go home with his big brother.

who instantly gets attacked by whatever animals inhabited the island? Lies and The Thieves that try Tommy or MMTS Tommy. Yeah they're just attackable :#

who's assumed themself the position of the island ruler um I don't think anyone would have. None of my stories have a character of relevance that is the main villain or have traits that would do that. It's always unnamed side characters. Funny I've not done any villain dream stuff huh?

who has dug a tunnel and started an intricate tunnel system? Probaly LTTT Tommy and myabe JORNOS Tommy. Borrower bois gotta get their hidey holes.

who's already started contemplating a list of people that would be the best to eat as a last resort, and sounded a little too eager about it? MMTS Wilbur. He's a naga. He is not gonna care about anyone overly apart from his Tommy and he's a big boi. Although I don't think he'd do it immediately, just if they got desperate.

Pretty much all characters got a mention I think except Shroud and Tommy from TSTWYWTBTKWH. Tommy is human and just wants to keep his spider son alive. Shroud would probably be crying and Tommy would be Dadinnit calming him down lol.

Thanks so much for this Brick! Sorry it took a lil while to answer <3

[cyncerity]

maybe the bug people are called (bugname)-folk? So like Ctubbo in the epic au would be a vulture beefolk? Also, what does ctubbo sell?

Yes! I see you scrolled to the bottom of the tags, good job >:)

I like that!! I think it can be just a umbrella term, like Tubbo doesn’t have to specify what type of bee he is cause all types just use “beefolk” but I like that! It also means that when I refer to the whole species I can just use “bugfolk,” which i also like lol

Anyway, Tubbos a bit of an oddball. While it’s law for the leafman to live on the brightside and the boggins to live in the Bog, there are 2 weirder species that don’t fall perfectly into one category.

One species had been forcefully exiled from the brightside by Phil during the war between sides and are now somewhat freelanders that the boggins felt bad for and let live in their territory, and the others are the bugfolk.

Most bugfolk live on the bright side, since most of them need sunlight and plants to survive, but some species live on the borders or in the Bog, though they are few and far between. There is a rule that says bugfolk who live on the brightside under Philza’s law are not allowed in the Bog, but some people ignore it.

And by some people, I mean almost exclusively Tubbo.

Tubbo is a vulture bee, meaning that he is a stinger-less bee that makes it’s honey from scavenged carrion instead of pollen. And by that I mean meat from dead animals.

Tubbo lives on the bright side since he’s a bee and needs sunlight and warm weather, but obviously he can’t make much of a living selling honey made of rotting animals to people who eat through photosynthesis.

So, he sells to boggins. He makes the honey in the bright side in secret (animals rot way faster in the Bogs for obvious reasons and the residents usually scavenge them for food before he can, so it’s easier to just take meat from the bright side), and the only reason he’s been able to keep it up for so long is because Tommy covers for him. In turn, Tubbo gives him like 10% of what he gets from selling. It’s not any sort of currency, boggins work through a trade system, but Tommy likes their handiwork (also Tommy usually hides it all in Ranboo’s tree nook cause if Techno and Phil found it the outcome would be nuclear). After he makes the honey, he sells it to boggins, who actually like it since they’re mostly carnivorous and honey for carnivores is a weird, hard to come by thing.

But it’s people like Tubbo who are making it difficult for Phil to continue justifying letting the bugfolk stay in his forest. After all, plenty of them eat wood and leaves and are dangerous to the wildlife that live there. After the last odd group was kicked out, the tension between bugfolk and leafmen has been steadily on the rise, and Phil has definitely been noticing.