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a-spes · 4 months ago

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| DEVIOUS LIES — Part two (8.790 words).

| Summary — Anon Request — When your friend asked you out for a drink, you didn't think much about it. Yet, maybe you should've, because that night ruined your life. It has been two years, and you can't stop think about what you lost. Your job, your friends, your lover, and even your mind was left in that motel room.

| Tags & warnings — Avenger!Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!Reader, AoS!OC x Avenger!Reader, Other Avengers, angst without comfort, cheating, mental health issues, suicidal ideations, self depreciation, mentions of SA&SH, manipulation, toxic relationship (OCxR), revenge porn, use of drugs.

| Author's notes — I don't know how I feel about that second part, i'm not sure i like it, but now it's written it costs me nothing to share. So here we are. I can just hope that I managed to convey, at least a little, the emotions I wanted to. And, most importantly, take care of yourself.

| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING

| Part one. Part two. Part three.

Almost a year has gone by, and it means one thing: in a few weeks, it’s going to be Natasha's birthday, again. The woman is not sure how she feels about it. She never really had a birthday before she joined the Avengers, and despite the years that have passed since, she still feels a certain awkwardness at this time of the year. Especially as the boys tended to do too much.

She could only pretend to match their enthusiasm. A slight smile spreads across her face as she takes a sip from her drink, staying silent. She has been listening to her teammates talking about her birthday’s party for almost half an hour now. She stopped trying to avoid it a long time ago, when she realized how much they enjoyed organizing this stupid party. She can deal with anything they’re going to come up with if she gets to see their smiles in exchange. Her sentence won’t last more than a few hours, but the memories are going to stick with them for eternity, and it has no price.

"Wait, you know what?” someone asked. It was Clint, and by the mischievous smile on his face, the redhead already knew that she wouldn't appreciate the next words that are going to come out of his mouth. “I think we should have the mascot come over again," he added, his eyes not leaving hers. "What? It was funny to have a cartoon version of you running around," he defended himself when he saw her glance darkening.

"You know what? Do whatever you want," she mumbled, “it’s not as if you were asking for my opinion anyway,” she eventually gave in. Sometimes, you have to know how to pick your battles, and that is one she definitely cannot win, not when all the others seem to appreciate the idea.

"That’s such a great idea!” one exclaimed, and this time it was Peter Parker, “Mr. Stark, do you think they would accept to come again?” he asked the man.

"Obviously!" Tony replied without an ounce of hesitation, laughing at the question. The man thought it was a stupid thing to ask, "she likes you too much to miss your birthday,” he explained, pointing at the redhead while saying those words. "What? She pretends it’s not true, but I know she is lying. I can see right through her and, believe me, she’ll be here," he explained when he noticed the confused looks of his teammates.

"Who’s she?" a voice asked, cutting short to Tony’s rambling. That’s the question that has been on everyone’s minds, but that no one dared to ask out loud, except for one of them — And it hasn’t been Natasha, it is Steve that spoke first.

On the contrary, the woman remained silent because she didn’t need words to express herself, a silent conversation taking place between the billionaire and her through a simple glance. Even if she already has her suspicions, and is almost sure that she knows the answer to that question, she wants him to say it, refusing to believe it otherwise.

The moment she saw the box, she was intrigued by it, something drawing the woman to the small package that no one claimed as theirs. It’s almost as if it came out of nowhere, no one knowing who left it here, or what may be inside the black box. At first, she thought it was some joke, but she knew they were being honest when saying they had nothing to do with the gift. And if she had expected a lot of things to be wrapped in the red ribbon, she definitely wasn’t ready for a ghost from her past to emerge from it.

A quick glance before she suddenly closes the box again, that’s all it took for the redhead to know who was behind that gift. The only thing she could think about was how — How did it happen without any of them noticing your presence? Despite the appearances, and the smile she was trying to keep on, the woman was shaken — Why would you do that, more than two years after your break up? Could it be that you are that desperate?

"Is everything okay?" Clint asked, being the only one to seem to notice a change in Natasha’s behavior. At least, everyone had enough restraint to not ask the question that burns their lips — What’s inside the box?

She wouldn’t have answered if one of them had asked. She wouldn’t even have opened the gift if she had known that it was from you, and that’s probably why you left it on the table, avoiding giving it to her directly. Smart girl, she thought. At first sight, the woman couldn’t tell it was coming from you but there was no doubt remaining once she saw the content — There is only one person on Earth that cares enough to give her such a gift. A person that constantly looks after her, guessing what the redhead wasn’t telling.

A person that she used to love.

A person that couldn’t be here, was she? The woman can’t help but glance around but she can’t find your face. What was she expecting anyway? To see you in the corner of the room with a bright smile and your arms open for her to throw herself in a hug? That was stupid, and so is the hint of hope she felt when she opened the box. The others told her many times she has to turn the page, but she doesn’t seem ready to let you go. Even after two years, she is still craving your presence as much as before.

The thought of it puts to shame the redhead who knows she shouldn’t hold on to the past, especially when the past in question has a pretty face and breaks her heart. Even after what you’ve done to her, she has spent hours crying, praying for you to come back. Even after listening to the others assuring her that she deserves better, she couldn’t forget how you’ve always been the most caring, and strong, and beautiful person she has ever met in her life.

You weren’t horrible. Were you?

Sometimes, she thinks you are a monster.

Sometimes, she thinks she is, for not listening to you that day.

That day, she let her anger speak for her, something she swore she would never do again. When she started to realize that, maybe, she should’ve listened to your version of the events, it was too late. At the time, she couldn’t bear to hear the sound of your voice or see your voice, but after two years, as the memory of it starts to fade away, she surprised herself to miss it.

Except that Fury had refused to tell her where you were. She tried to ask nicely, to beg, and even to threaten the man, but none of it worked. He said that you needed time, that you’ll be back when you are ready, not before. Despite her frustration, the woman accepted it. After all, she is the one to blame, the one that puts herself in such a situation. She could only hold on to the fact that, one day, you’ll be back. Right? As the days go by, the likelihood of ever seeing you again is gradually diminishing. Some nights, when she can’t sleep, she stays up, eyes fixed on her laptop’s screen — Maybe she could give fate a helping hand? She knows she could find you easily. Yet, despite her urge to do it, she has always ended up closing her laptop without starting the research.

She has to trust Fury, she repeats to herself. Even if she sometimes disagrees with the man, even if it’s frustrating, she has to believe him when he says that you are safe.

Some other nights, all she can feel is anger, and hatred. The redhead is lost, and scared, again, something she never thought she would feel again the day you two met. What if it was true, and you really cheated on her? Then, you could do it again if she forgives you, because history always repeats itself, and you are no exception to the rules of the universe. She knows how people tend to promise a lot of things that they don’t mean, especially when they are desperate, which is exactly what you’ve been that day. She couldn’t forget the look on your face when she dragged you out of the building, the despair in those bright eyes, glistening with tears. This is the only thing she can remember when she thinks about you. Not the good moments you’ve shared, only the brutality of the end of your relationship.

You've abandoned her, and so did she.

It has been three since she last saw you, and almost a year since her birthday party, but the woman couldn’t stop thinking about it. She didn’t take the gift, leaving the jewelry in the box, and the box on a shelf. She hasn't touched it since. How could she when just the sight of it was already too much to bear?

Every day, when she wakes up, it is one of the first things she sees, and one of the last when she goes to sleep. If it doesn’t feel right to the woman to take the gift, it doesn’t feel right to throw it in the bin either, so it stayed here as a constant reminder of what she has done. Every time she thinks she is finally over it, the box rekindles her doubts. There are some things she can’t quite understand about the situation, and why you would give her such a gift, two years after she kicked you out, is one of them.

Maybe it was a poisoned gift. Maybe it was a sick trick to make her feel guilty, a way to get her to crawl back to you. Beside these possibilities, she couldn’t think of any others that were likely, and she was afraid to admit that your plan was working. The box was a permanent reminder of your existence, something she couldn’t get herself to give away because of those dumb feelings she was experiencing. Somehow, she was holding on to that last piece of your years together after she threw away everything else with the help of the team.

The pictures, the clothes, the gifts, even your favorite cutlery has been burned a few days after you left them. It is almost as if you’ve never stepped a foot into the building, as if you’ve never existed. The woman was fine with the idea of pretending that nothing happened — She was fine with the idea of erasing every remaining part of your relationship.

Except that black box. It is stupid how she hangs onto that last proof of the relationship she once had with you. She had burned everything, but she couldn’t get herself to do the same with that gift. Maybe because she knew that she could never erase you completely from her life. She surely could pretend, it is a game she is really good at, but you would always be on the back of her mind because memories don't go away as easily as objects do.

Since she had opened the box, doubt had been creeping inside of her — What if? What if she has been wrong the whole time? What if she should have listened to you? Give you a second chance? That day, her reaction had been dictated by anger and hatred, feelings that still inhabit her soul, but have faded over the years. For two years, she had been sure that she made the right choice — At least, that’s what everyone kept telling the woman, and she listened to their comforting words.

But since she opened the box, she was no longer sure of anything. She wasn’t the one that wanted you gone in the first place. She surely needed a bit of space before being able to talk with you properly, but only a few days, maybe a few weeks, not two years, and definitely not more than that. That little box only worsened her doubt because who would be desperate enough to still cling to the person they betrayed, years after the events? A person truly in love. She had kept her doubts for herself before that day. If she is almost sure of the identity of the person who gave her the box, because there is only one person on that planet that cares enough to gift her something so meaningful, there are still a lot of questions to which she doesn’t have the answers — For example, how did you manage to sneak into the building without everyone knowing? She now knows that someone knew the whole time.

“Tell me,” she firmly asked the man, leaving little room for discussion.

No one pointed out the thing he has said about the mascot, the subject of the conversation quickly changed after that. Except, while they were talking about which flavor the cake should be, Natasha could think of nothing but Tony’s words — “She likes you too much to miss your birthday”, “she pretends it’s not true but I know she is lying.” So when everyone eventually decided to go back to their rooms, around two in the morning, she stayed a bit longer in the common room in hope of getting some information.

“Sorryy, I can’t, I don’t know anything,” the man replied, indifferent to her tone, “anything at all,” he repeated, chuckling like a child who has done something wrong.

The woman sighs, pinching her nose as she takes a deep breath, trying to not lash out her frustration on the man. The conversation isn’t exactly going the way she had hoped, Tony refusing to answer her question no matter how many times she has already asked. She even tried to blackmail him, but he was persistent in pretending that he didn’t know anything. When he almost falls on the ground trying to get a few steps back, it has been the last straw for the woman. Gladly, someone entered the room before she could hit him so hard that it would have sobered him in an instant.

"Is everything okay?" the voice asked, and both of them immediately shut up to turn their heads toward the woman who just entered the room, Astrid. She is leaning in the doorway, her gaze alternating between Tony and Natasha.

She hates her. Not as much as she hates you, but she still feels resentful toward the agent. When she smiles, when she speaks, even when she is just here, existing, the woman can’t help but hate her from the depths of her heart. Gladly, she rarely sees her, as an agent of the S.H.I.E.L.D., she is only around when they have outstanding missions. If Natasha had a choice, she would’ve thrown her away with you that day.

"She wants me to admit that her girlfriend was the one in the costume," he immediately replied, "but sshht, we can’t let her know that!" he added, holding his index finger in front of his mouth for a few seconds before leaving the room giggling.

"I know what happened," she eventually said when she noticed that Natasha was about to leave after a few seconds when they glanced at each other in silence. "Th- That night, in the motel room~," she added, her voice being hesitant. Those words made the redhead stop in her tracks.

"If you're about to rub in my face how you've ruined my life, you can shut up," she immediately cut her, not wanting to listen to the woman, not if it’s to tell her about how she fucked the woman she loves. Her voice was full of anger, just like the murderous look in her eyes. The only thing that prevented the woman from immediately leaving the room was the thing she saw in the other’s eyes. Her attitude betrayed her emotions, a mix of guilt, sadness, and shame, which aroused her curiosity.

With a nod, she ordered her to continue.

That morning, as many others, you are woken up by your girlfriend’s gentle touches, her fingers slowly tracing circles on your stomach. A hum of satisfaction escapes your lips before your turn around, nuzzling your head further into the crook of her neck.

How could you have known it would be the last time? How could you have possibly guessed that the routine you’ve got used to would be broken so quickly?

Every morning, it is the same thing, and while the former spy has no problems getting up early, you definitely can’t say the same for yourself. She is always awake before you are and, even if she had never admitted it, you are sure that she takes a few minutes to observe your sleeping form. She loves seeing you so peaceful and calm, being able to have a glimpse of your face without those worry lines, without the marks of your anxieties.

She is always the one who wakes you up, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. There is no better way to start a day than Natasha’s sweet words and caresses. It’s her fault if you never want to get out of bed, wishing every morning that you could stay in that bed, next to her, for the rest of your life. Sometimes, you suggest that you tell the others you are sick, just to spend a day together, but she just laughs, dismissing your idea.

But all the good things must come to an end, right?

"It's time to get up, milaya," she softly said in your ear, her breath tickling your skin, "Astrid won't be happy if you are late again," she added when the only answer you gave her was a groan of discontent.

"They won't say anything if I am late once, it's okay", you mumbled, her words not being enough to convince you to leave the comfort of her arms.

Especially when you realize that there is nothing to get excited about the day ahead of you, in perspective, only hours spent in an office, listening to men who think they know everything better than you do. Today, you are supposed to attend an important meeting alongside Astrid, and you still don’t know why you volunteered. The thought of the paperwork and the efforts that you will have to put in pretending that you are actually happy to be here definitely don’t worth your pay.

Except that you’ve lied to Natasha, and she knows it. This is definitely not the first time that you are being late, it happens almost every day, to the point that the day you are in time can probably be counted on your hands. Gladly, when you are coming in the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters, it's Astrid who’s your supervisor, and she appears to also be your best friend. Most of the time, she is kind enough to accept to close her eyes on your delays. Today, you came in only ten minutes late, and the woman was somehow impressed, expecting you to be later than that.

“You’re late, again,” she replied, obviously waiting for an excuse that you don't have. She would know if you are lying to her, and you don't have the energy for that kind of game today, and you could see that the woman neither. She was starting to get tired of every day starting with the same bullshit coming from your mouth.

“I am so, so, sorry,” you said to her for what may be the tenth time since you’ve entered the office. She is walking fast, and you are trying to catch up with the black-haired woman, who is also your superior within the S.H.I.E.L.D. “Please, don’t tell Fury,” you begged, but all she did was roll her eyes, and give you a file when you eventually reached her office. You quickly glanced at it before closing it again, your attention focused on the woman, “Astrid, I am serious. He is going to give me more paperwork if you do. Or worse. Imagine if he forces me to train the new recruits, you know I can’t do that again. Please, …,” you added, looking at her imploringly.

“And what do I have in exchange?” she sighed, turning around to look at you, one eyebrow raised. Despite her serious expression, you know she was trying to not laugh. She may be your boss, but above all she is your friend, and you both know that she would never tell Fury about your delays. Even if she has threatened you to do so a few times in the past, she has never actually done it. Yet, this time she felt like she needed something in exchange, she had covered for you enough time for free, and you were happy to thank your friend with whatever she may want.

“Anything you want!” you replied, desperate but no less honest.

“Tonight, after work, you pay me a drink, deal?” she asked after pretending to think for a few seconds. In reality, she already knew what she wanted from you. She has thought about asking you out since the moment you met, something you’ve never noticed, always reducing her to the role of a friend, and not keeping up on the clues she was leaving you. Tonight, however, she will be clearer than she has ever been.

“Deal!” you immediately said, accepting the proposal without thinking twice about it. "Thank you. Thank you so, so much. You are the best," you added, kissing your friend on the cheek before leaving the room quickly, a sight that made the woman chuckle.

It is a deal that makes you both happy. You have met Astrid at the Academy, when you were both trainees that dreamed of joining the S.H.I.E.L.D. without even knowing if you were good enough for that. The two of you quickly became close — That’s the kind of thing that happens where you are the only two females of your promotion. Either you hate each other over your dead bodies, or you grow so close that you become inseparable.

Except that, since you've both achieved your dreams and joined S.H.I.E.L.D, something changed in your relationship. It wasn’t your fault, nor hers, that you had less time to see each other, your jobs taking a lot of your time and energy. Then you've been assigned on a long-term mission with the Avengers, and you’ve spent less time at the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters despite still working for the organization. Then you've met Natasha, and you feel like you’ve slightly grown apart from each other after you’ve announced to her your new relationship. On the whole, you had less time to spend with your best friend, and the promises to make up for the lost time have never been kept, not until today. That deal was the perfect occasion to spend a bit of time together outside of the office work.

You both really hoped that this night would make things back as they were before.

"You know, I love her," she confessed to the redhead, her voice being barely louder than a whisper as she felt tears filling her eyes. "Since the day we met, I have loved her. That's what I told her, that night, when we went out," she admitted, and Natasha felt her heart pounding in her chest, her hands were shaking with apprehension, “but she rejected me. She loves you so much, too much," she sadly chuckled, but the redhead felt no relief when she heard those words because they were not explaining the pictures. She can't cry, not now, not in front of that woman.

"Continue," she ordered, feeling that the woman had more to say than that. She already knew that Astrid loved you, you may be the only one that hadn't seen it, or maybe you were pretending, or maybe you were blinded by your love for Natasha.

"I didn't plan to do that, you know," she started, carefully looking at the spy, "but I was so desperate that night, and I-," she said, except she was unable to finish her sentence, the words stuck in her throat.

The past three years, she had kept the truth a secret. At first, she thought it was better that way. The woman was ashamed of her actions, and she was relieved when heard that you’ve been transferred to another department, and she thought that her secret would be safe. Except that, if everyone acted as if you’ve never existed, her mind didn’t allow her to forget. Every hour of every day, you were in her mind, and the longer she thought about that night, the biggesther guilt became, until the burden was too heavy to bear. Tonight, hearing them argue about you, has been the last straw.

“What did you do?” she asked, sensing that something was wrong. She didn’t like the feeling that was creeping inside of her, “what. did. you. do.?” she asked once again, but more firmly that time, when the other didn’t immediately answer her question. As she saw the hesitation, she reduced the distance between them in a second, her hand gripping the collar of Astrid’s shirt that she pins to the wall abruptly, “tell me. Now,” she insisted as the interaction only reinforced the bad feeling she had.

That morning, unlike the others, you woke up alone. There haven’t been the gentle caresses of your girlfriend to wake you up, nor her sweet words to coax you into getting up. No, that day, it was only yourself, draped into the cold sheets, and it felt so strange, the silence and the loneliness of the room. Sadly, it has not been the exception you’ve wished it would be, but only the first of too many mornings like that.

In the sleepy state you were in, it took you a few seconds to realize that something was wrong, and almost a minute before you noticed that you weren’t home. You couldn’t even recognize the place you were in, only knowing that it looked like a hotel, a shitty one if you might say. The room was small, simple, and not-so-comfortable. There was something in the ambience that gave you an uneasy feeling about the whole thing, but you were unable to say what it was exactly.

Your head is throbbing, and you are definitely feeling nauseous, but you know that’s not the problem. Your physical distress isn’t the cause of the weight on your chest, the one that makes your breath aching, it’s something else that your mind can’t comprehend yet. It’s all these inconsistencies. The missing memories of last night, the unknown room, the fact that you are alone,... you don’t remember drinking that much last night. You may not be the most responsible person that planet has known, but you know how to handle yourself. Usually.

Could you have possibly drunk that much?

The day has barely started, but you already know it is going to be a rough one. If only you knew how right you were, maybe you would have taken a few more hours of sleep, enjoying the comfortable peace of your old life a bit longer before joining the chaos. Yet, you had no means to guess that your day would go that way.

It's a note left on the bedside table that answered all your questions, easing some of the worries that were creeping inside of you. Someone has written the following words : “Couldn’t get you home because of how drunk you were. don’t worry about being late today, I won’t tell Fury. however, had to go on a mission, be careful when you go home. I left you a bit of money, it should be enough to pay for the room and an Uber. Love you.” The message might not have been signed, but you can easily recognize Astrid’s handwriting. A smile spreads across your lips as you are reassured, the situation not being as bad as your mind made it look.

Some memories of last night flew back in your mind, but it’s only a glimpse of what happened, a lot of the events staying unknown to yourself. The last thing you can remember is the conversation you had with Astrid, when she admitted that she loved you and you replied that you too, thinking she meant as friends because you couldn’t see her any other way, not when you were already engaged in a relationship. The rest of the exchange is confused, and you are not sure what’s real and what has been made up by alcohol. Even today, you are still not sure.

Maybe you’ve really drunk too much that night.

Knowing that you’ve been with Astrid the whole time was reassuring, and you are no longer as bothered by the absence of memories. For a moment, you thought you'd been kidnapped by some weird man. As you regain your composure, your thoughts become clearer and you decide that the first thing you should do is to send a message to your girlfriend. She must be so worried, and your heart aches at the thought that you might be a source of problem for the woman you love.

It is not your kind to not keep your promises, and you’ve told her you would be home last night. It is not your kind either to not answer her messages or calls. In reality, you are quite the opposite, always sending her hundreds of messages when you are out with your friends. The only reason she hasn’t got after you is because she knew you were with Astrid, and she trusted you. However, the sweet messages are going to have to wait because, when you try to turn your phone on, you only encounter a black screen, a sign that you’ve run out of battery. Obviously, your friend didn’t think to leave you a charger.

You sigh, admitting your defeat. Shaking your phone surely won’t change the situation. For the moment, there is nothing more you can do, except hoping that Natasha won’t be too angry. As you are getting ready, your mind is focused on how to earn the redhead’s forgiveness — Maybe you could stop to buy her some flowers? You hate it, when the two of you are arguing. It doesn’t happen a lot, but it’s never pretty, and the mere thought that it might happen was already hurting.

As you definitely couldn’t go back to the compound by yourself, not knowing how far you were and being in a pitiful state, you decided to use the money left by Astrid to call a cab, as she instructed you to do. It’s not before you enter the car that you realize how late you actually were. It is almost one in the afternoon, and if you are not an early riser, like your girlfriend who is always up by six at the latest, you rarely get up after ten.

It has been a thirty minutes drive back to the compound, and the whole time you were thinking about two things: taking a shower, and leaning into your girlfriends’ arms. You are so exhausted, physically and mentally, that you’ve decided to skip work today — You were already so late that it wouldn’t make a big difference anyway. The journey was long, and those thirty minutes felt like hours.

Soon enough, you started to suffocate into your own mind, then skin. You felt so sweaty, and dirty, that it quickly became unbearable. Maybe it was the effects of the alcohol, or maybe because you’ve slept in a seedy motel, but the only thing you wanted was to get rid of the clothes you were wearing and the uncomfortable state you were in as soon as possible.

When you enter the compound, you find it empty, and so is the room you are sharing with the woman. If you frown, you don’t think much about it. If the building is rarely empty, it sometimes happens when emergencies are called. A whine escapes your lips as you realize that, if it’s true, they are going to be mad at you for not being here when they needed it. You can already feel your mind losing itself to self-hatred thoughts, as you mutter to yourself how stupid you are. You are going to need more than a few flowers to earn their forgiveness. The fact that JARVIS confirmed that everyone was at the S.H.I.E.L.D.'s quarters didn’t, you would have preferred to hear that they went to the restaurant without you rather than that.

Tears brimming your eyes, you quickly put your phone to charge. It is only when you get out of the shower, twenty minutes later, that you saw the missed calls and messages from Natasha. The most recent ones were sent a few minutes ago. There were too many of them for you to take time to read everything so you just sent her a quick text that said: “sorry, my battery was dead, and I couldn’t answer your calls. I’ll explain everything, I promise. see you soon. love you.” A message she saw but she didn’t answer, which is unusual and an obvious hint of how angry she probably is.

Despite your decision to not work today, you still end up in the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters. You are almost running in the corridors, going to the meeting room where you find your girlfriend, and the rest of the Avengers. When you stumble into the room, a deadly silence descends. None of them greeted you, and the only reaction you got was Fury’s nod when you started mumbling excuses for your late arrival. While your eyes immediately landed on the redhead, she didn’t glance at you once of the entire meeting. The sight made your heart sink. You love her, but you have to admit that the spy is scary when she has that stern expression on her face, one that leaves no room for discussion.

The safest decision was to sit on the furthest chair, leaving her space until you get the opportunity to explain yourself. Something that you hadn't had a chance to do before a few more hours, when you stumbled into her in the corridors. You have been lost in your mind, having a hard time focusing on your work. Earlier, when the meeting ended, she immediately left the room, not leaving you a chance to exchange a word with her, and it has been bugging you since.

“Please, wait,” you said, already begging the woman. When she heard your voice, she stopped, allowing you to gently grab at her arm so she didn't go. She could, if she wanted to, and a part of her did want to run away, but the rest of her knows that this conversation can’t be avoided. “Listen, I- I am sorry,” you started once you were sure she was willing to listen to your excuses, “I should have warned you, but I couldn’t, my phone’s battery was dead and, and- honestly? I don't remember much of what happened last night. All I know is that once was enough. It won't happen again,” you chuckled sadly. When you woke up that morning, you promised to yourself that it was the last time you drank that much. A promise you kept, and three years later, you still haven’t touched a bottle of alcohol. “I promise, 'tasha. Please, don't be mad at me for that, or at least tell me how I can make up for my mistake,” you said, and the woman knew she had heard enough.

“Seriously?” she scoffed, breaking free of your grip. “I can’t believe you are that stupid,” she said, as she started to walk away. But if she didn’t want to hear the sound of your voice any more, you, however, weren’t done yet.

"I know I’ve made a mistake, but I am fine, isn’t it the most important?” you asked, starting to follow. Except that, when she heard your steps in her back, she accelerated her pace. “I promise to be more careful next time but, you know, I can handle myself for one night. Well, I might have drunk a bit too much, but Astrid was wi~,” you tried to explain, except she cut short your ramblings. To say, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the woman quickly cut you. She scoffed again, in disbelief this time.

"You are really stupid, aren't you?” she said, stopping in her tracks, and you almost ran into her, surprised by her sudden stop. A few more seconds passed before she turned around to face you, her posture matching her stern expression. “Do you think I don't know what happened last night, with Astrid? Do you really think I wouldn’t have known the truth?” she added, taking a step forward for every question she asked, and you took one back every time, until your back hit the walls. You would certainly have found the situation hot if she didn’t look like she was about to murder you.

“W- what?” you said, “you are mad because I went out with a friend. That’s the problem? Astrid is the problem?" you snapped, starting to feel frustrated about the whole situation.

You are tired, and the only thing you’ve wanted to do since you opened your eyes that morning — Throwing yourself in your girlfriend’s arms — was impossible to do. You hadn’t expected the woman to give you such a hard time. You knew she could be jealous sometimes, you’ve already had arguments about that in the past, but you’ve always been understanding because you know that her jealousy isn’t caused by a lack of trust. This feeling is fuelled by her own insecurities and past. Except that, that time, it was too much. The way she wouldn't listen to your excuses is seriously hitting on your nerves.

"Don't you dare to lie to me,” she said. For a moment, you thought she was going to hit you, but she took a step back before she could do that. She was angry too, taking deep breaths in an attempt to ease the feeling. “I trusted you,” she eventually added but her tone was different — The anger left her voice, replaced by pain. “I trusted you and, most importantly, I loved you,” she whispered, turning around to see you one last time. “After everything I have done for you, I can't believe that's how you are thanking me. You know, I really thought you were different, better," she laughed, trying very hard to not throw you against the walls or worse, to cry. The most insufferable was the look in your eyes, the false innocence. She was tired of pretending, she had given you enough chances to tell her the truth, “but you’re not,” but now, she was done trying.

That is the last time the two of you talked. The next time you’ve seen her, she hasn’t been kind enough to let you have a chance to explain things. She was done trying, and so were you. The last words she said are still ringing in your head, even years later. Maybe if you'd chased her once again that day, things would have ended differently, but you haven’t moved. You couldn’t, petrified by the conversation that just took place, you have just watched the redhead walking away without glancing back.

It’s only when you enter the break room that you understand the whole conversation you had with Natasha. No one was here, but the walls had been covered with pictures of yourself. At first, you thought it was a prank from your teammates’ but the pictures were all but innocent. You felt your heart sink when you took down one of the photos to get a closer look at it, and tears in your eyes when you realized that you were nude in those.

It was you, in bed, with Astrid. Your face doesn’t entirely show but you can easily recognize yourself and the bed you’ve woken up in that morning. There were dozens of different pictures, but all showed similar scenes: your bodies against each other as you are obviously sharing an intimate moment. Something that you should only share with one person on that Earth. A person that is definitely not Astrid.

Except that the more you look at those pictures, the more foreign they feel. You are sure you are the one in the pictures, but you are still unable to remember what happened. Slowly, doubt creeps into your heart — Did you drink that much last night?

So much that you betrayed the woman you swore to love until the sun dies?

You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You are suddenly overwhelmed by a bunch of emotions that you can’t describe, but that are definitely not pleasant. It is a mix of confusion, anger, guilt, and disgust. The pictures speak for themselves, and they leave little room for doubt about what you were doing — And you were surely not just sleeping. The woman was on top of you, her mouth closed to your neck, maybe she was leaving soft kisses against your skin, maybe she was whispering sweet things in your ears, you don’t know. But the thing you were focused on was her hand hidden by the sheets, leaving only your imagination to complete the scene. It wasn’t the only picture of that kind: they were all picturing similar scenes. You can easily understand her rage and hatred earlier because you are now sharing those feelings with your girlfriend, just for different reasons.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" a voice said, pulling out of your mind. It was Astrid, who just entered the room. She glanced around before looking back at you, a sad smile spreading on her lips when she notices the tears that are soaking your face. and you saw Astrid entering the room. She looks around, a sorry look on her face. "I am sorry,” she started, and you could feel she was looking for the right thing to say, “I- I sent the pictures to the wrong person. When I realized, I tried to explain to Romanoff but, well… you know how she is,” she explained, shrugging as if she was trying to make you believe she had actually tried to, “she wouldn't listen to me, and they- they did that before I could stop them. It doesn’t please me either," she added, reminding you that you weren’t the only one suffering from the situation. Except she seemed to deal with the situation better than you do. As she talked, she slowly walked closer to you, accompanying each of her sentences with a few steps forward until she was close enough to wrap you in her arms.

You didn’t get the energy to push her away.

"Did we.. ?" you asked, but your voice broke before you could finish your sentence. It felt too difficult to say those words out loud — “Did we hook up? Did I cheat on Natasha?” But the woman doesn’t need the words to be said, she seems to read in your mind the end of your sentence.

"Of course we did, what kind of question is that?" she replied, frowning. She seems to be surprised by your question. For a second, the hand that was slowly caressing the back of your head stopped. The woman pulled back a little, just so she could see your face. "Why? Do you regret it?" she asked, and for an instant she seemed to be genuinely worried about your reaction, "because you didn't seem to last night, when you cried my name,..." she whispered in your ear. You could feel her breath tickling your skin but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, unlike when Natasha does it.

Everything felt so much. Her voice, her touch, her presence so close to you, was now unbearable. As she remembers the night you’ve spent, a soft smirk spreads on her lips, but you are definitely not sharing her feelings. “Of course we did.” The words loop back into your mind, it seeps in like a poison that quickly takes over your whole being. Soon, you are paralyzed by an awful feeling. It hurts, but at the same time you are not sure you are actually feeling something, your body and mind feeling so foreign to you — If you wanted it, why does it feel so wrong?

At that moment, if you had been able to move, you would have ripped your ears off just so you wouldn’t hear her voice any more, and maybe you would have done the same with your skin. It felt like the only way to get rid of your overwhelming feelings. Suddenly, the reassuring touch of your best friend made you feel gross, and so do her sweet words — But if she said that you did it, and wanted it, then it must be true, right?

You have seen the pictures, they are in your hands, right under your eyes. You can see yourself betraying the woman you love and in those, you really don't give the impression that you didn’t want to. On the contrary.

"No, no, it- it's not that, it’s just…," you eventually managed to say, but you are hesitating and unsure of yourself. There are too many thoughts and words clouding your head, so many ways you could react and yet, none of what you could say or do felt right. "It’s just that I don’t even remember last night,” you admitted, feeling ashamed about it, “I mean, did we- you know,... for real?" you asked softly but you were not even listening to Astrid’s answer, the question was more for yourself in reality. "Sorry, I have to go, see you later", you said, interrupting the woman. Somehow, you regained control over your body, just enough to push the other away and leave the room. You are not sure where you are going, but as far from that room as you can is already a good start.

That's where she found you when she came home that night, sitting on the bathroom's floor, the pictures in your hands.

Your hand is still wrapped tightly around the pictures, but you didn’t notice it. Not before being back home, in the room you are sharing with Natasha — Or were sharing, you thought, unsure about how the situation would unfold. It may be the last time you set a foot in that room that has been your safe place for months. Before you could completely break down, you decided to take a shower, thinking that, maybe, the steaming water would be enough to ease your mind. You took two showers. Then three, then four, and maybe more. You can’t be sure, you’ve stopped counting. All you knew was that it hasn’t been enough to get rid of the uneasy feelings and thoughts. You’ve scrubbed yourself until your skin was so sensitive that even the touch of the towel has been painful — But maybe you deserved it.

The rest of the day is a blur, and you are not sure what time it is. You’ve spent hours on the bathroom’s floor, your left hand clenched around the picture while the right one was holding the towel. Your head was so empty, but so full at the same time. That’s how she found you when she came home that night, and if she had been tempted to wrap you in her arms when she saw your pitiful state, the conversation she just had with the others discouraged her to do so — You didn’t deserve her pity. They are right when they say that you are not the victim: you are the one that cheated on her, and she needs to be firm, stern. You knew how hard it is for the woman to trust someone and yet, you still broke the fate she had put in you after years of making her dream of a better future.

"Oh, so you remember now?" she coldly said to you when she entered the room. You didn’t move, not even your eyes to look at her, but if you did, you would have seen that the woman was leaning in the doorway with her arms crossed. Maybe you would have also seen that her coldness was only a facade, and that she was as close as you were from breaking down.

You stayed silent, unable to say anything. The words were stuck in your clenched throat, and they aren’t feeling right anyway — How could you defend yourself when you didn't even know what happened exactly? Plus, you weren’t even sure there was something to defend, the pictures speaking for themselves. Even when she started packing your belongings, you didn’t move. For you to move, she had to grab your arm and drag you all the way outside the Avengers’s building by herself.

She needed you gone, and everyone agreed that it was only for the best. At least for a few weeks, just the time for things to calm down. That’s what she came to announce. The few words that left your mouth were useless, your pleas falling in deaf ears: the decision had already been made, and the sentence was irrevocable. The woman is done with your bullshit. She is done with you, and so you are.

"The pictures, they- they aren't real," she eventually admitted, her voice being barely louder than a whisper as she unburdens herself of this old secret. “I mean, th- they are, but it’s a staging. Nothing happened between us, she- hm, loves you too much to give you away,” she continued, tears filling her eyes as she talks, her voice wavering a little more with each word. "She isn't even conscious in these," she continued when the spy didn’t react. If the black-haired woman thought it was because the other was listening, it was because she didn’t know how to react.

The weight of what she had done left her shoulder, and it was now lingering in the room, where the air was suddenly thick, and almost unbreathable. Natasha felt a weight in her chest that made each breath harder than the previous one. Overcome by surprise, she had let go of the other, stepping back a few steps. Her thoughts were racing, numerous and contradictory, they weren’t coherent enough to allow how to respond in any way. She needed to do something, but she didn’t know what.

“I- I don’t know why I did that. It wasn’t me, that night, you know that, right? That I would usually never ever do something like that,” she started to defend herself when she saw the look on Natasha’s face, “I was so angry, and disappointed, when she refused. I have given her everything since we met, and yet you are the one she chose. I thought that, maybe, with a bit of time she would eventually realize her mistake, … but I was so wrong,” she sighed, and the redhead could see the remnants of that anger in her attitude. A clenching jaw and fists, accompanied with firm words that left no doubt about the resentment she held towards her, and towards you. “That night, I- I wasn’t myself. We’ve already had a few drinks and, you know, it doesn’t mix well with emotions,” she continued, and the woman could feel her anger rising with every word the other spoke. “All I could think about was getting revenge. I wanted to show her she was wrong, that I had so much more to offer than she thought. I wanted her to change her mind, to see me for more than just a friend,” she admitted, her voice being just a whisper as she says the last sentence. “I never thought it would end this way, I swear, you’ve to believe me, Natasha,” and to forgive me. She didn’t say the last words out loud, but she doesn’t need to, her eyes are speaking for herself.

Only, when her gaze met the redhead’s, she didn’t see in her eyes the compassion she had been expecting, only pure hatred, an emotion that had quickly replaced the initial surprise. Not even a word was addressed to her as the other left the room, leaving her alone to dry her tears.

| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING

| Part one. Part two. Part three.

| Taglist — @cd-4848, @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite, @gemz5, @jusnough, @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0, @mrsrushman, @riyaexee, @takeyaki, @taliiiaasteria.

#a spes writing #devious lies #mcu fandom #mcu fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #natasha romanoff fanfiction #reader insert #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #angst writing #angst without comfort #anon request

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worriedvision · 10 months ago

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He ignores you after an argument - Dr Ratio

Gender neutral reader, angst with an ending that can be viewed as happy. Dr Ratio shows his immaturity, and he only realises how close he is to losing you when Argenti makes an appearance.

"What do you mean, 'can you try to be more considerate'? If you cannot comprehend a genius' words, you are not worthy of my time!" Your boyfriend huffs, turning around to place his mask on.

He always did that when you had arguments, but the words that were paired with his actions were what worried you. You had really stepped in it, trying to tell him that you weren't finished with your sentence. You were getting frustrated that he wouldn't stop interrupting you and, sometimes, filling in the statements incorrectly. You ignored your frustration in the past, but it boiled into this argument you just had with him. You were doubtful that he would think about your feelings even after he calmed down, so you mentally prepared yourself for the silent treatment.

Days became weeks, and weeks became months. He still wasn't talking to you, and you were heartbroken. You dive yourself into your work, the astral express themselves commissioning you because of Dr Ratio's words of praise of your intellect. Swallowing the temptation to explain he was likely exaggerating to help you with getting work, you go along with it. Your boyfriend, despite no longer talking to you after the argument, tags along. You both get separate rooms - something you are thankful for, considering how awkward you felt around your partner. You didn't even know if he was considering himself as your boyfriend or if he mentally checked out since the argument.

Now, Argenti decided to make an appearance. Turns out, he had an issue with his ship, so he had to request some resources from the astral express. You had tried to speak to your boyfriend, who was still playing chess by himself as he ignored your pleads for forgiveness - apologising for failing to communicate effectively. Struggling to keep yourself together, you walk to the other side of the room before taking a seat. Pulling out your folders, you get to work on other projects. Hearing someone walking towards you, you assume they'll just be taking a seat somewhere close, only for them to sit right next to you.

"A beauty as precious as one you possess shall not be under-appreciated by an unrequited love." He begins, Dr Ratio halfway through playing a knight, freezing up at this man hitting on you. "With brains to accompany your radiant and decadent beauty, I shall request that you consider flourishing under someone to cherish you."

Dr Ratio gets up from his seat, his mask literally starting to crack as he begins to storm over to you. He realised, through Argenti's speech, that he ought to treat you better since he truly loves you. He had to show you that he has been thinking of you, about how to apologise - he simply kept his mask on because he thought he didn't deserve to show his face until he thought about how to apologise to you for interrupting you. By the time he knows what to say, his mask breaks entirely, falling to the floor to Pom-Pom's distain.

In the middle of Argenti clearly scouting for you to join him on his ship, Dr Ratio walks behind the couch and wraps his arms around you, side glaring at Argenti.

"Apologies, but this is a prize I won." Dr Ratio growls, Argenti chuckling as he gives Dr Ratio a light warning that you were likely going to get snatched up by another man if he screwed up again.

Your boyfriend comes to take Argenti's place on the couch, pulling you in for a hug, he begins his apology.

"You didn't talk to me for months, you know?" You pout, your boyfriend scolding himself inwardly for being immature.

"You are the one who's more empathetic than myself. I need to put more effort into understanding your feelings, I'm lucky that you're still alright with me hugging you despite the argument." Dr Ratio sighs, squeezing you as he looks over your shoulder to read your work.

"...I almost forgot how amazing and intelligent my partner is." Dr Ratio smirks, you turning your head to look at him. "If I have to wait a year for compensation of my neglect to remain yours, I would gladly do so."

#dr ratio x reader #dr ratio x gender neutral reader #argenti #dr ratio #gender neutral reader #angst

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aubvrns · 2 months ago

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"Longer Than A Fortnight"

| SVU & Headcanons

Synopsis — Their love languages towards you, and the kind they want to receive.

Note — Olivia Benson, Elliot Stabler, Alexandra Cabot, Casey Novak

(Female centered, but no pronouns used.)

———————————————————————

Olivia Benson

• — Olivia Benson is 100% acts of service.

• — She is the kind of lover that will tie your shoelaces, even if she’s running late.

• — WILL AND I MEAN WILL, do the simplest tasks for you just because she can!

• — "What you do mean you went out to get groceries? Without me?"

• — Her way of saying "I love you." is to comb your hair after you finished showering, and she asks you to sit on her lap as she does. (biting my fists rn)

• — Though, she craves for words of affirmation.

• — She didn’t grow up in a home where she felt appreciated, nor did she ever felt the comfort of her parents.

• — But she knew she loved you when you told her the sweetest sentence ever.

• — "I love you so much that you make me get out of bed to get groceries."

• — Seconds later, you felt arms behind you. Not long enough before your shoulder dampens.

Elliot Stabler

• — This man is so quality time.

• — He knows he has a dangerous job that occupies his time, hours and hours in the precinct.

• — But any chance he gets, he will come home to you.

• — "Pack your bags, we’re going to Italy!"

• — He’s afraid of losing you, or letting you go to the plane’s bathroom because you’re comfortable in his arms.

• — Amidst the turbulence, he enjoys your physical touch.

• — From all the abuse and torment he witnessed, it’s rare for him to feel safe nowadays.

• — That’s why he isn’t afraid to admit that he loves the way you kiss his forehead, trace patterns on his gentle calloused hands, or spooning him when he gets nightmares.

• — "Italy won’t run away, let’s just stay 5 more minutes in bed."

• — More so, your vanilla scented hair was his view of a vacation.

Alexandra Cabot

• — Shoot me when I say this blonde’s love language isn’t giving gifts.

• — Being a lawyer with an amazing conviction rate also means having money, money, money!

• — She enjoys spoiling you, giving you everything you need and want just because she can. She refuses to let you reach for your wallet, at all.

• — "I bought the necklace you stared at earlier!"

• — Besides your lips, Ms. Cabot also tracks your eyes. (i would like to have you for christmas)

• — Starring at you, she never noticed how much she longed for acts of service.

• — Her parents were always away, and she was left alone. Her parents’ money were their way of saying they’re sorry they couldn’t come to her graduation.

• — She was surprised when you called in sick, even though she was the one coughing like there’s no tomorrow.

• — "What do you mean I could’ve bought myself medicine instead of your necklace?"

• — You can’t help but smile as you sat beside her laying body, wiping her warm face with a wet cloth as she explains how much your necklace reminds her of your eyes.

Casey Novak

• — This redheaded loser in a hot body cannot go on a day without physical touch.

• — She was raised as an affectionate child, expressing her love greatly as her parents did.

• — Her auburn hair is as warm as her as you lay between her arms, her face on the crook of your neck as she sleeps soundly.

• — "If only court saw how soft and adorable you are when you sleep, you wouldn’t seem so intimidating." You say, playing with her hair.

• — Smiling lovingly, she unconsciously pulls you closer.

• — Aside from her comfort, she adores your words of affirmation.

• — She was the kid who would wait in her teachers’ approval, hoping that she did good enough for their expectations.

• — Luckily for her, she didn’t have to wait anymore.

• — "You think I look soft and adorable when I sleep? I think I want to kiss you right now."

• — And she did, like the soft and adorable loser she is.

#valwrites .ᐟ #law and order: svu #law and order svu #svu #headcanons #olivia benson #elliot stabler #alexandra cabot #casey novak #olivia benson x reader #elliot stabler x reader #alex cabot x reader #casey novak x reader #olivia benson x elliot stabler #alex cabot x casey novak #cabenson #benovak #calex #fluff

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rhysandsfavwhore · 30 days ago

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Sweet Dreams

Rhysand x fem!reader

content; stressed and clingy Rhys (i honestly dont know why i like writing about a stressed clingy rhys for), fluff

notes; okay ik this doesn’t completely match up with Rhys’ backstory but its okay☺️

—————————————————

Ink covers his tanned hands as they grip onto the desk, a result of days and days worth of paperwork. He was writing back to all the courts, gathering plans and information on Hybern.

However, it seems he doesn't have a responsibility of taking care of himself. The pile of uneaten food on the floor directly below his window, his sunken eyes and haunted look is all proof of that fact.

As his childhood friend, you were especially worried for him. He isn't himself. granted, he witnessed and been through much more, but looked like he had lost it.

“If you wanted to see me, you should have just asked.” Rhys sighs, attempting to straighten the mess that is his desk.

“And would you have let me? See you, that is.” You respond, crossing your arms at him. You had made her way in here after claiming his window was ‘broken.’

“I've been busy.” He offers.

“Right.” You nods, her gaze distant, understanding his pressure and mounds of work to get through.

“You know, I think your window is broken. Food always seems to be falling from it.” You says, your brows raising. “You want to explain this to me?”

“No.”

“Rhys.”

“No” He corrects coldly. He then watches her straighten, and feels a twinge of guilt. He takes a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and slowly opening them again.

"Rhys..” you try again, hoping to get anything more than one word from him.

“That will be all, Y/N”

“Rhys, wait-”

“That will be all ”

“Let me help you fix the window. Please. It doesn't have to stay broken.” You says. something in your expression tells Rhys your not just talking about the window, anymore.

“I'm afraid it's beyond repair.” he replies, barely above a whisper.

“oh Rhys” you say, walking over to him and running a hand through his hair. “nothing cannot be fixed”

He allows himself to close his eyes after you run your hand through his messy hair, and he practically melts into your touch. He’d miss this. He’d miss you. He hadn’t seen you all week.

“How can you be sure?” He counters, and it’s almost a challenge.

“because that ‘window’ is not broken, it just needs a hand, and thats what I’m here for.”

He can’t find the strength to fight you on it any longer. He’s tired, both mentally and physically. He can feel the bags under his eyes weighing him down.

He leans into you for comfort, placing his head on your chest and wrapping his arms around you. It was a move he hasn’t done since he was a young child, and the memory of his childhood days was almost enough to make him cry.

All he could manage was a weak “I’ve missed you.”

“ive missed you too Rhys” you said, your voice almost breaking. after everything you’ve seen him go through, you couldn’t understand why this hit so hard, but you didn’t want to pry.

Rhys holds you tighter, his grip desperate and needy. Your familiar warmth was almost enough to make him gasp. He’d missed you so much, being cooped up in his office all day just left him with his own thoughts, and he almost drowned in them.

He needed you, here, now.

“shh, im here” you cooed, running fingers through his hair.

The simple, yet affectionate gesture was enough to make Rhys eyes water. He wanted to speak, wanted to say anything to express how he was feeling, but he was afraid that if he even opened his mouth- he’d burst into tears.

So he stayed like that, his arms around your middle and his head pressed against you, listening to your heartbeat. The steady rhythm was like a metronome, and he found himself getting calmer with each thump. This side of him was one he was embarrassed to show, one even you and only seen on few occasions.

you pressed a kiss to the top of his head and allowed him to stay comfortably resting on you, not wanting to disturb he one moment of peace he has had in days.

Rhys felt warmth bloom in his chest as you kissed the top of his head. It was something you used to do all the time when you were kids, and the action itself was enough to bring a few tears to Rhys’ eyes.

“Thank you for checking on me,” He mumbled out the words into your shirt. “I’ve been really out of it, lately.”

“i know, i know. come on you need some rest” you said before taking him by the hand and leading him to his bedroom.

Rhys, while a bit surprised, lets you lead him over to his bed without protest. You could see the exhaustion in his weary eyes, he needed sleep, and he didn’t even realize it.

When you reach the edge of the bed, he stops, and seems to hesitate before laying down. He’s still holding your hand, and makes no move to let go.

you stand, unsure weather you should pull away from his grip or not. “ill go grab you some water, get some sleep” you say, deciding leaving him to rest was your best option.

Rhys’ hand gripped yours tighter in reaction, and you could see a hint of panic in his expression. “Don’t go.” He muttered.

He really did look like a lost little kid at the moment. His hair was messy, his eyes were tired, and his clothes disheveled.

You smiled slightly at him and gave a small nod and you lay on the edge of the bed, slightly propped up against the headboard, unsure what to do.

Almost as if he were magnetized, Rhys quickly moves over to you, and lays down on the bed next to you. He doesn’t let go of your hand, instead he intertwines his fingers with yours.

He can’t bring himself to move his gaze away from you, he looks at you with the eyes of a man starved; who finally found some water. He just needed you now.

You gently ran his free had down the side of his face giving him a sweet smile.

Rhys leaned into the soft touch of your hand against the side of his face. He couldn’t help but close his eyes for a second, savoring the feeling of your fingers on his skin. Every little touch sent his heart racing.

He opened his eyes after a moment, and gave you a weak smile. “You always used to do that.” He muttered out the words just loud enough for you to hear, “Whenever I couldn’t sleep.”

“i know” you gave him a soft smile and kept your reassuring movements going.

Rhys was practically purring at the feeling of your fingers against his skin. The combination of it and his exhaustion was making his eyelids feel incredibly heavy.

He moved himself closer, until his head was rested against your chest. He could hear the rhythmic thump of your heartbeat through your shirt, and it almost made him yawn.

You were shocked at how close he got to you. a part of you relaxed knowing that you always wanted to be more than friends but scared to tell him and thought maybe, he now felt the same, but you brushed the thought aside knowing he needed his friend now, not a girl pinning over him.

He shifted on the bed, until he was resting mostly on top of you. He wrapped his arms around your midsection, his grip desperate and almost needy.

He was silently begging you to stay with him, even if he didn’t realize it. He buried his head against your chest, and let out a shaky breath.

“get some sleep Rhys” you sighed, smoothing your hands down his back.

Rhys could feel the steady rise and fall of your chest as your hands move up and down his back, the sensation was hypnotizing.

He couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, and he found himself drifting off to sleep. He mumbled something, but it was inaudible with his face buried into your shirt.

As he drifted off, you whispered, so quite you could hardly hear yourself, “i love you Rhys” hoping he was asleep.

But he wasn’t asleep, and he’d heard.

He felt his heart flutter in his chest, and a warm feeling began to bloom in his chest. You loved him. You loved him?

He didn’t speak, and he didn’t move. He pretended that he was asleep. He wanted to hear more.

“i love you Rhys, i always have” you whispered, thinking out loud as you ran your hands through his hair, thinking this is the closest you will every get to being more than a best friend to him.

The words echoed in Rhys’ head, over and over again. You loved him. You always had.

He could’ve laughed, he certainly wanted to. Had he really been that dense?

He could feel your fingers running through his messy hair, and it was enough of a distraction to keep him from exploding with emotions right there.

“sweet dreams Rhys”

——————————————

#acotar #acotar x reader #acotar x you #fem!reader #rhysand #rhysand oneshot #rhysand x reader #a court of thorns and roses #fluff #rhys acotar #rhys x reader #rhysand fluff #acotar fluff

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jaylaxies · 1 year ago

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THE PATH TO A NERD’S HEART

PAIRING: nerd!jay × fem!reader

GENRE/CW: sub!jay, dom!reader, smut, fluff, unprotected sex, public sex, slight biting and marking, mentions of bullying, room sharing, kissing, handjob, mentions of sunghoon

WC: 8.1k (8169) words

SYNOPSIS: the annual debate competition was just around the corner and you were thrilled to meet your partner, who turned out to be park jongseong. from you studying together to him asking you how it feels to kiss someone, how would your relationship progress? especially when you offer to give him a demonstration, even more so when he asks if he could get a bit more.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, angels! I'm back with another fic! i've re-edited this fic and i’m reposting as per the request of my anonnie! i hope y'all will enjoy this! :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all <3

“What have you done to her?” The principal sighed in distress, slightly turning his head, glancing at the girl who sat next to you with an expression filled with misery, a girl with a broken nose to be more precise.

“With all due respect, sir, she was bullying a student, which clearly goes against our school policies, and further, she tried to punch me when I asked her to stop. She had it coming,” you calmly explained the whole situation, fake politeness dripping off your tone.

The girl next to you screamed like a maniac after hearing your statement, flailing her arms and legs, claiming that you were the one who attacked her first. She never failed to show her spoiled-child behaviour in public.

“I request you to please check the surveillance camera of the corridor, it'll make it more clear to you, sir,” you faked your smile as Hana Lee, the bully, started crying, knowing that nothing could save her from the upcoming punishment now.

She was soon dismissed to go to the medical room, her wound bleeding, yet she didn’t show a sign to stop protesting.

“Miss Y/N, I understand that what Miss Lee did was wrong, but that does not give you any right to punch her.” He looked at you with an expression that clearly displayed disappointment.

“It was just self defense from my side, sir,” you said with wide eyes, plastering your most innocent face in front of him, wanting to leave his office as soon as possible.

He sighed, “you’re one of our top students, miss Y/N, and I appreciate you caring for the other students, but please refrain from using punches next time. You can leave now.”

You finally smiled in victory, muttering a ‘thank you’ before grabbing your bag and rushing out of the office.

As you got out of the office, a hand immediately grabbed your wrist, causing you to widen your eyes at the sudden gesture, your own hand curling its fingers to punch until you saw who it was.

He softly pulled you to the empty staircase area.

“I’m sorry,” he slowly whispered, he had a busted lip and red eyes, the sight made your heart hurt, a frown settling on your face.

“Jay! Oh my god! Does it hurt?” You asked, hand extending towards his face.

You barely knew the boy, in fact, your first ever proper interaction with him took place this morning.

“You shouldn’t have stepped up for me,” he sighed, eyes not meeting yours as he looked at his shoes, confused as to why you would help him.

“I don’t care what you say, I cannot stand bullying, Jay,” you simply told him, getting closer to see his wound, the wound caused by Hana.

Now, the question is: How did you reach here in the first place?

Let’s start by replaying the morning events.

The yearly Inter-school English debate was two months away from now. Meaning, that you’ll soon know who your assigned partner is for this year’s competition would be.

Your English teacher had asked you to meet her, so you made your way towards the staff room. You greeted her as soon as you saw her, eyes soon moving to observe a guy with specs standing next to her.

“Y/N, c’mere! Meet Park Jay, he’ll be your partner for this year’s debate competition,” your teacher explained.

You smiled, extending your hand which he shyly took into his bigger ones, “nice to meet you, Jay.”

Your radiant smile caused Jay to crack a small smile of his own, “it’s really nice to meet you too,” he said.

Further, the teacher explained how your school won’t be the host for the debate this year, instead, the Busan branch will be the one to do so.

Conclusively, she informed you that all your expenses will be paid by the school, except for the extra souvenirs you would purchase there for yourself.

You listened to it all, giving small nods at the end of her sentences, your eyes also shifting to look at the guy standing next to you, his gaze focused on what your teacher was telling.

A hotel will be arranged and she will accompany you both for your two day trip to the competition.

“The topic will be provided to you both soon, I hope both of you will get along well, please don’t hesitate to ask for any sort of help from me,”Ms. Hwang smiled at you both and ensured that you were okay with this setting.

Park Jay. You knew him, of course you did. He’s always been exceptionally smart in studies, him being the only one in school who matched your own pace.

The only difference between you was his shy nature. Your nature screamed enthusiasm and boldness, hence, making friends came easily to you. You were one of the popular students, not to mention how you were good at academics too, which was also paired with your kind nature.

However, you didn’t know much about Jay, except for the fact that he was good at studies and closed off, with little to no friends at your school.

This piqued your curiosity.

After Ms. Hwang left, you turned to look at the shy boy, asking him if he’d be up to eat lunch with you, to get to know each other better.

His eyes slightly widened at your suggestion and you theorized it must be because he never eats with anyone else, which worried you as you thought you had crossed a line.

His small smile just after, ensured that it was not the case, “I’d love to,” he said, and you noted how sharp yet cute his smile was.

The whole student body was shocked to see Jay interacting with the popular girl herself, their eyes fixated on your table.

It wasn’t your concern though, you were enjoying having a simple conversation with him, asking him about his hobbies. He got excited that you were willing to talk to him, not forcing yourself like the other students did. And he tried his best not to show how excited he was.

He told you about his love for fashion, his smile growing at each word he spoke, you found his deep voice pretty as you paid attention to everything he had to tell and offer.

He stopped his sentence midway, looking at you as you stared at him with shiny eyes.

“I talk a lot, don’t I?” His shyness came back to him all of a sudden.

“No! I think that it’s really beautiful that you’re so passionate about something, I could hear you speak about it for hours,” you reassured him, reaching forward to hold his hand which was kept on the table.

He breathed out softly, gulping at the sight of your joined hands and your reassuring smile, his cheeks heating up and a sudden warmth spreading through his chest.

Just one conversation and he already wanted to trust you, to spend more time with you, to get to know you better.

He looked forward to it all.

You wanted the same, to get to know him better. Jay was cute effortlessly, and you were quick to notice that even slight proximity made him nervous to the point his ears got red.

You found it adorable, promising yourself to keep a check on him to make sure he doesn’t feel lonely at school anymore.

So, when you saw Hana cornering and punching him for not completing her homework, you knew you had to step in.

He watched how you pushed her away from him, standing as a barrier between them both. He noticed how you raised your voice at her, the demeanour completely changed from the sweet one which you had in the morning.

He noticed how you didn’t hesitate to block her punch, your own hand swiming to counter punch her instead with no regrets whatsoever.

He stood there in awe, he knew was thankful to you, however, he was too shocked to even form words.

You turned back to look at him, his lip bleeding and his bloodshot eyes made you worried and angry at the same time.

Before you could say anything to him, you were dragged to the principal's office.

Which brings you back here.

Jay silently cried in front of you, “you don’t deserve this,” you softly said with a sad frown before hugging him

His hands grabbed your waist as he softly weeped into your shoulder, your hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

You weren’t sure how long Hana had been bullying him into doing his homework, but now, you had this sudden urge of wanting to protect him, your hands tightening around him.

He calmed down after a few minutes, body still holding on to you.

“Thank you,” he softly whispered, taking a step back, his eyes meeting yours for a second before he turned away, rushing to leave.

He did not stop when you called out his name, thrice.

You sighed, stuffing your hands in the jacket pocket before leaving for the next class.

The boy never left your mind no matter how hard you tried to concentrate on the lecture.

The news had spread all around the school as the newest gossip. Some said that Jay was your new boyfriend, while some assumed you to be his bully. Nevertheless, no one bullied him after Hana got suspended for using violence in school.

Soon after, the theme for the debate was announced and Ms. Hwang had called you both to inform you about the same.

You observed his face, seeing him for the first time after that incident and you were glad to see that all his wounds were healed and didn’t leave any scars.

When he felt you looking at him, he turned to look at you, smiling softly to say hello.

After some minutes of general discussion with your teacher, she left you both alone as she had to grade other test papers.

You never brought up the topic of Hana again, only paying attention to the debate. Jay kept on glancing at you from time to time.

“Thank you,” he whispered shyly, passing you a bottle of your favourite drink, which made you tilt your head to look up at him, “I wasn’t sure what you liked so I asked Sora,” he rushed to speak, mentioning how he asked your best friend about it.

“You didn’t have to.” A smile graced your face at his sweet gesture.

He felt more confident talking to you now, and he even attempted to make silly jokes just to see you laugh, which you did, heartily at that.

Your hand grabbed his arm as you tried to support yourself while laughing. He found it beautiful and he wished to hear your laugh more often. Your hand felt soft on his arm, sending tingles to his stomach.

You hugged him softly before leaving, your sweet scent sending Jay into a state of frenzy, his ears turning red while his heartbeat felt faster than usual.

Being teased was like a routine for you now, your friends did everything in their will to constantly remind you how 'soft' you have gone for that nerd kid.

“Your jealousy is showing,” you smirked at Sunghoon, who repeatedly mentioned Jay in each of your conversations.

“Of fucking course! You haven’t kissed me in weeks,” he retorted.

It had been a while since you ended your friends with benefits relationship with him, you just couldn’t do it anymore, it felt wrong to you, seeing how attached he was getting with your setting.

Yet still, you decided to humor him this time.

Laughing at his pouty face, you grabbed his chin as you kissed him, trapping him against the lockers and he eagerly kissed back, not caring if anyone saw you both.

The makeout session was short lived as the bell was quick to indicate the time for your next class, a groan leaving his mouth as he punched the locker, muttering how nothing works in his favour.

You left him there, a boyish smirk spreading on his face when you winked at him.

You were breathless, but then you realized why you had left this in the first place, the guilt seeping deep inside you, knowing that it would lead him on if your suspicions were right.

You’ll say no the next time, that’s what you decided, not paying attention to the lesson the entire class.

You didn’t like him, you just needed a distraction from a certain someone who invaded your mind at the most random times.

You weren’t going to use Sunghoon as a distraction anymore.

You couldn't.

Jay met you at the library after school, for research purposes and collecting further information on your topic to be prepared as much as possible.

“Hey,” you smiled, hugging him, which had now become a usual thing for you two.

You noticed how he was a bit hesitant somehow, his arms not pulling you closer like they always used to.

Not paying much attention to it, you both got inside and searched for your respective books and topics, noting down all the information you needed. No words were exchanged for a long time, your focus solely on the text in front of you.

“How does it feel?” A whisper was heard from beside you.

“Excuse me?” You asked, looking up at Jay, confused at his unusual antics and sudden silence. “H–how does it feel to kiss someone?” He completed his sentence, not looking up at you while he kept fiddling with the hem of his uniform sleeve.

“Wait, you saw?” You asked him, eyes widening as you thought that he might have gotten the wrong impression.

You realized that he might have seen you kiss hoon earlier today, hence his question.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before, Jay?” You enquired slowly, not missing the way his eyes turned big for a second.

“N—no,” he whispered.

“Have you ever wanted to try it?” You softly asked.

Jay was probably the purest person you had ever met, the thought of corrupting him kept on swimming in your mind, the fact that he might want to try something with you made you smile.

“Will it be fine?” he hesitated again, “isn’t he your boyfriend?” He asked, referring to Sunghoon.

“What?” you almost shouted, apologizing once you got looks from the nearby students.

Maybe the library isn’t the best place for such conversations.

“He’s not my boyfriend, Jay. We’ve had something but it was not a relationship,” you revealed.

He listened to you with all his attention, a small smile on his face when you told him that you were single, which you didn’t fail to notice.

And he nodded, saying that he wants to try. His ears were red, which you found adorable.

“Of course, we’ll stop the moment you feel uncomfortable, yeah?” You assured him.

“But, here?” he kept on asking like a kid, his heartbeat beyond control as he tried not to seem too flustered.

You laughed, “we’re meeting at my place tomorrow, right? We can try it out then, if you’d be comfortable with that,” you suggested and he agreed shyly, nodding and looking down at his fingers.

You only looked at the pretty boy next to you, wondering how far he would want to go with you.

Jay was overwhelmed by the fact that you agreed to kiss him, he had been staring at your lips ever since he saw you kiss sunghoon in the morning, deeply wishing that it was him instead.

It was pretty strange of him to think this way, but he couldn’t stop, especially when he saw how you took control of the kiss, tilting Sunghoon’s head to the side and kissed him deeply.

You saw him looking dazed as you were about to leave, his actions being so cute, which left you wanting to fluster him more.

A cute yelp left his mouth as you softly pecked his cheek, tiptoeing to do so, before bidding him goodbye.

He blushed a lot in general, but you being around him took it to another level, you found it adorable to say the least, excited to see how he would behave tomorrow.

The next day, Jay woke up early. He wanted to look perfect, to smell perfect, to be perfect for you. Not that he needed to do anything, yet he did some extra research for the debate and printed them out for you, to make up for the time you’d invest to kiss him today.

He paid more attention to his clothes, for this would be the first time you would see him without his usual uniform. He even devoted his time to do his hair, finally reaching your place at the exact time you had given him.

Releasing his breath and cussing once, he rang the doorbell.

You were quick to rush down to open the door, not wanting him to wait for long, chuckling when you saw how he rang the bell at the exact time you had given him.

His breathing hitched as he laid his eyes on you.

It was the first time he saw you looking this comfortable as you wore a soft and loose top along with sweatpants.

“Jay! Come in,” your enthusiastic voice dragged him out of his daydream as he nodded.

He followed you like a lost puppy, “are you home alone?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, yeah! My parents come home late,” you explained with a wink, “don’t worry, baby,” you said and he almost passed out with the nickname you had used.

You smirked at his state, making him sit on your bed.

“You look good,” you complimented seeing his attire and he muttered a small thank you, a shy smile spreading on his face.

He likes to be praised, you noticed.

Without much delay, you started scripting your research papers. Jay noted how you were always serious when it came to studies and the competition, he paid attention to the way you bit your lower lip while concentrating.

Some part of him wanted you to do the same to his lips, he waited patiently for you to remember your promise to kiss him but you never once brought it up, his mood turning sad.

Taking the matter into his own hands, he spoke up.

“Can we—” he took a deep breath as you stared at him with big doe eyes, urging him to continue.

“I—it’s nothing actually.” He backed away.

You laughed, “I didn’t peg you to be the impatient type,” you smirked, well knowing what he wanted.

Closing your laptop, you urged him to come near you, patting the space next to you.

“We’ll start off with a simple peck, yeah? Pinch me if you feel uncomfortable and I'll stop,” you told him and he shivered as you got closer to his face, gulping his anxiety down.

“May I?” You finally asked, searching his eyes.

“Y—yes,” he whispered, nodding.

Softly placing your hand on his cheek, your lips touched his lips in a short peck. They merely touched, yet it was enough for Jay to get butterflies, heart beating out of his chest at the sensation.

You leaned back to observe his reaction, he still had his eyes closed, a soft rosy glow spread on his cheeks.

Getting closer again, you grabbed his chin, tilting his head as you dived in to kiss him, longer this time, your lips moving in sync once he got the hang of it, low whine leaving his mouth, making you smile.

You wanted to play with him even more.

So, you gently bit on his lower lip, causing him to gasp, giving you enough opportunity to taste him.

It felt so right yet, forbidden somehow.

You had invaded all his senses, you pushed him down on the bed, his eyes looking at your every move as you made him lean against the head frame, you sat down on his lap and he cussed.

“Does it feel good?” You asked with a small, teasing smile.

“Fuck, y—yes it feels so good,” he whispered out.

“Yeah? So good that my good boy is using bad words now?” You teased.

“Please,” he whined, “sorry, I’ve never done this before and it just, it felt so good I couldn’t help it,” he rambled and you shut him up with a peck.

“Lord, you’re so adorable. It makes me want to ruin you,” you breathed out, brushing his hair away from his forehead, gripping his chin and running your thumb on his swollen lower lip.

His heartbeat sped up at your words again, head dizzy as he said, “please,” and you pulled him into a deep kiss for the second time.

Your fingers softly tugged on his hair, finally causing him to moan out loud, his pretty voice resounding all over the room.

You both pulled back from the kiss after a few minutes, breathing hard and deep to come back to your senses.

“How was it?” you asked him in a gentle voice, sitting down next to him, slightly worried if you had gone too far for his first time.

His stare on your face and silence only made it worse.

“Can we do that again?” He asked after a few seconds, trying not to sound too shameless, but he couldn’t help it, not when you had offered to kiss him so nicely.

He slowly pulled the hem of your top, and you understood, coming back to kiss him, your hand on his jaw, as he shifted his position for you to take full control.

He laid underneath you as his heart pounded harder than ever, he could only focus on how soft your lips felt against his mildly chapped ones, his eyes closed as he took in everything you were willing to offer.

The said practice of your debate ended with you making out with Jay, he didn’t wish to stop, not even after his lips were swollen, his eyes shining as he looked at you as if you were a goddess.

He had to excuse himself when his cock felt painfully hard, he was beyond embarrassed and you looked at him with hooded eyes, holding yourself back before it gets too much for him.

“Here’s the washroom,” you guided him, “let me know if you need help,” you said with a smirk.

“I—thank you,” he rushed to go inside.

You knew what he was going to do, and you wished it was you who’d be the one to please him instead, his voice wasn’t silent when he took your name, as he reached his orgasm inside the washroom.

You chuckled, wondering how he’d look while doing so into your hand. He left soon after, face red and hot.

It left him wanting more.

The debate was a week away from now, and you both were well prepared for it yet, you kept on studying from your notes. That wasn’t your concern right now though, a certain nerd had occupied your mind from the past few days.

You found it adorable how he would request you to kiss him in the empty classroom, his room, or any place where you both were alone, he wanted you guys to be alone together.

You were corrupting him, and truth being told, you wanted to corrupt him even more.

Jay had always been attractive, his knowledge was a plus point to it all. You absolutely loved his shy demeanor, no matter how comfortable you both got with each other, he could not help but blush around you.

Meanwhile, Jay was confused. He had never had girl problems before, so why did it feel so different when it came to you? Even more so when you were so good to him.

He loved how you took care of him in the most minimum way possible, you made him feel like he mattered, giving him motivational speeches (and your kisses were a cherry on top).

He knew it really well that the other students wanted to date you, or they wanted to be closer to you. Why wouldn’t they? You were perfect in their eyes, but this did not stop Jay from wanting more. He wanted you to claim him yours. You were beyond perfect in his eyes.

But he wondered if you’d ever be willing to like him back, to be with someone like him. Kissing was one thing, maybe you did it just to make him happy, but more?

He could only wish.

“All participants from the same school will be given one room to share, will it be okay for you both?” Ms. Hwang informed you both, also asking for your comfort.

Jay stiffened, he was sure to lose control if left alone with you at night.

“It’s alright for me ma’am,” you smiled.

“Yeah, for me too,” Jay shakily let out.

He wanted this, he finally decided, he’d even go as far as confessing his feelings for you.

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow morning, right?” Ms. Hwang confirmed as you both nodded, you had to leave early tomorrow for the competition.

As you walked back home with Jay, saying that you’d drop him off, you spoke, “are you sure that you’ll be comfortable?” you asked as your fingers were interlocked with his, giving him butterflies.

“You’ll take care of me right?” He asked in a low whisper, suddenly stopping and looking at you.

He definitely meant more than the normal care but you were willing to give him anything.

“I will,” you promised with a smile, “I’ll take care of my pretty boy,” you said before pecking his lips and leaving him blushing on the sidewalk.

The next morning, he didn’t have to wake up, for, he didn’t get to sleep. That’s how excited he had been, the fact that you were going to be in the same room as him at night made him blush.

His excitement only grew when he saw you at the station wearing a skirt, it was short lived as Sunghoon came into view, holding your hand, holding your luggage with his other hand.

Jay frowned at the sight.

Sunghoon looked like your boyfriend with this setting, he did not like it a bit.

You spotted Jay in a second, smiling and hugging him without thinking much, it was not returned though.

You bit down your smile, making him jealous seemed like a great idea to you, knowing well how adorable and needy he is.

Naturally, Hoon got a cheek kiss as a goodbye while Jay had a frown plastered on his face, almost like a pout.

Your teacher came to the station soon, informing you that her seat is not near you both and telling you her seat number so you can approach her for anything you’d need.

You nodded and thanked her before getting into the train, which arrived right on time.

You sat down next to him on the express train, which gave you two hours to spend with him.

“What’s wrong?” You innocently asked him, your hand resting on his thick thigh.

“N—nothing.” His breath hitched as your hand neared his upper thighs.

You softly massaged that region, “you’ll be a good boy and tell me, won’t you?”

He shivered with the tone you had used, your hands making him feel weak in the knees.

He rushed to keep his backpack on his lap to hide his private area in case something went wrong.

He whined your name as quietly as possible, “tell me what's wrong, baby?” you asked again.

He grabbed your hand, staring at you with doe eyes as he placed it high up on his thigh, near to his hardening cock.

“Not so fast,” you said as you moved your hand away, “you’re not getting anything until you tell me what’s bothering you,” you urged him.

“I was jealous,” he whispered, red adorning his face.

“Yeah? Go on,” you hummed, softly brushing your fingers in his hardened and clothed member.

The thrill of you touching him in public only made his cock hard.

“You kissed Sunghoon,” he whined, placing his head on your shoulder, trying to calm himself from the pleasure he was receiving.

“Yes I did, and what about it?” You sped up, placing your hand on his cock, thankful that he had covered himself using the bag, so that others won’t be able to see you both.

It caused him to squirm in his seat.

“I—I wanted it too,” he struggled to form words.

“Being needy, are we now?” you chuckled as he softly moaned into your neck.

“What more do you want, pretty boy?” You asked, pleasuring him.

“Your kisses, y—your touch and—ah! You,” he barely spoke.

“That’s my good boy.”

You continued your actions for a few minutes, allowing him to release his mess without you having to touch him directly.

You looked at him in awe, you wanted him to be yours. Your baby boy.

“You did so well, baby,” you cooed at his teary face, kissing him swiftly.

“Go and clean up in the washroom, yeah?” You said and he nodded, somehow making his way towards the room.

He was clingy the entire ride, and it made you smile as you gave him all your attention.

“Did you like it?” you questioned.

He bit his lip, “yes, I did,” his answer was short as he was shying away again.

“How cute,” you said, “get me a list of things you like, yeah?” you requested him just before getting off at your destination.

The whole ride to the hotel was silent as your teacher was with you both, Jay still couldn’t think straight, his mind going back to when you touched him and how devastatingly good it felt.

“Here’s your room key, you are both free till tomorrow, so you can roam around a bit but be careful! Don’t forget to meet me at the same place at 11 am sharp with your proper attire on tomorrow,” Ms. Hwang commanded and you both nodded, leaving her to settle in her room.

After washing up and changing into comfortable clothes, you both sat down side by side at 9 pm. You noticed him writing something, but didn’t ask what it was, only looking at his face which had a cute pout, an expression he held whenever he was focused.

You settled down and scrolled through your messages on the phone to pass your time, even though deep inside, you wanted to spend time with Jay.

He soon came up to you, calling your name softly as you looked up at him.

He gently placed a note in your palm.

“I made the list,” he said, referring to the time you asked him to make a list of the things he liked back on the train.

You raised your brows, “come here,” you patted the place next to you before you grabbed his chin, making his heartbeat rise again.

“Let’s see now.” Holding the note in your other hand, you started reading, “degradation and praise kink? Oh, so you want to be called a dumb slut now?” you saw him nod and shiver, enjoying the way you called him a slut.

You wanted to ruin him.

“Choking? Who would have thought that our president ‘good boy’ would be into such filthy stuff,” your hand traveled from his chin to his neck, putting in a bit of pressure just enough for it to feel pleasurable.

Jay whined at the constricted feeling yet his eyes never left your face.

“You wanna be tied up? Cuffed even? And used as I wish?” Your eyes widened after reading his fantasies, the list amusing you beyond words.

You knew that Jay was willing to try stuff but you never expected it to be this wild, you loved it and you bit your lips as you looked his way.

“Please?” He requested you, eyes innocent.

“What do you want me to do, baby boy?” you finally asked as he gulped, coming closer to whisper something in your ear.

“Want you to touch me, please.”

“Like this?” You pulled him closer by the neck, your hand traveling down from his torso to his lower abdomen, and you noticed how he shivered with your touch.

“I—yes,” he let out desperately.

Switching to a better position, you got close to him, almost sitting on his lap as your fingers further trailed up to his mouth.

He was quick to part his lips, taking them in and sucking on your two digits, your head tilting as you noticed how devoted his look was, tongue swirling around your fingers.

“How cute,” you commented, amused with the boy, the same boy who you thought was innocent, however, that wasn’t the case.

All he wanted to do was to please you, and he wanted you to call him yours.

Your other hand rested on his thigh, soon going up and resting on his hard on, causing him to moan around your fingers.

“My needy pup, do you want me to take care of you?” You asked, loving how he reacted to your touch.

As you softly touched him through his sweatpants, he unconsciously jerked his hips forward, suppressing a moan.

“Let me hear it, I need your answer,” you slowed down your actions, causing him to whine.

“Yes! I w—want that so much,” he said out loud, as you took your fingers out of his mouth, wrapping them around his throat.

“Good, now, don’t move, and don’t you dare suppress your pretty noises, am I clear?” you asked for confirmation.

He nodded swiftly as you removed his pants.

His hard member came into view, thick and veiny, begging to be touched. Jay bit back his moans as you teased his tip with your thumb, your fingers wrapping around his length before you bent down to softly swirl your tongue on it, your eyes never leaving his.

“Fuck,” he cursed out loud as you took him in your mouth.

“Good boys don’t use bad language, do they?” You said slapping his dick. Your slender fingers gripped his neck again, this time capturing him in a passionate kiss.

“Y—yes,” he whispered against your lips.

“Open your mouth,” you ordered and he complied, you spat in his mouth, observing how it traveled down his tongue, “swallow it.”

And he did, opening his mouth again to show you the same, causing you to smirk.

“Such a good slut for me.” You kissed him as he whimpered at the degradation coming out of your sweet mouth.

He also whined at the lack of your attention to his cock.

He was needy, and you loved it. You had wanted to take care of him from the very start, seeing the boy in front of you, all naked, you wondered how he’d look full of your lipstick marks, which you’ll leave on his sweet hickeys.

You slowly started stroking his cock again, taking him in your mouth whilst massaging his balls. His breathing got heavier by each second, face red and voice shaky as he took your name sweetly.

Tears stained his rosy cheeks due to the immense pleasure he received, it was unlike ever before, his hands never felt this good, this perfect.

What made it better was the fact that it was you who was touching him, who was making him go crazy.

He liked you so much.

You felt him twitching and you got down to take him in your mouth before saying, “cum in my mouth baby boy,” and he did, moaning your name in the process as you hungrily gulped everything he had to offer.

You got up with a small smile on your face, seeing how he had closed his eyes, lip bitten and his chest heaving up and down.

You softly cupped his face, his eyes opening with your gentle touch.

“How are you feeling?” You asked him with a small smile, thumb caressing his cheek.

“Euphoric,” your laughter bloomed at his answer, a shy smile on his face, “can we do more?” He asked.

Your eyes softened at how vulnerable he looked at the given moment, and you knew if you’d do more, then you’ll probably won’t ever let go of him.

You kissed his forehead, “win that debate with me tomorrow and I’ll give you your victory gift, alright?”

He whined, not wanting to wait till tomorrow, but agreed nevertheless.

“C’mere, let’s get you cleaned up.” You took him to the bathroom, asking him to stay still as you cleaned him up, ensuring that he felt okay and you laughed whenever he felt ticklish at your touch.

“Can we cuddle at least?” He asked before sleeping, he loved being close to you. He had given you most of his firsts without any hesitation, and he was willing to give you even more. You grinned and took him in your arms, you both drifting off to dreamland soon.

Jay’s heartbeat clearly out of control as he only got closer to you, taking in your scent and watching you sleep, softly saying.

“I wanna be yours.”

The next morning was in a frenzy as you both tried to cramp up last minute information before your awaited debate.

Jay kept shying around after last night, and you had to pull him back and ask him to look into your eyes, making him laugh.

You couldn't help but notice how hot Jay looked in a black blazer, wondering if it was the same guy who begged you to touch him last night.

More importantly, you were also aware of that one girl who kept staring at Jay as you waited for your turn at the big auditorium where the competition was being held.

She was just behind you in the line, meaning, she might be your rival team for the final round, where you had reached with ease, courtesy of Jay.

Not being able to handle her constant stares and shy whispering about Jay, you rolled your eyes as you turned to him, calling out his name.

He turned to look at you, his face looked so innocent it made you want to smile, that’s the exact second you decided to peck him, tips of his ears turning red instantly

“W—what was that for?” He asked wide eyed, checking if someone saw you both.

“Just a good luck kiss for my baby,” you spoke loud enough for the girl to hear. A satisfactory smirk rested on your face as you saw her frown from the corner of your eyes.

Your turn came by soon, you listed out all the cons about the given subtopic with Jay smoothly.

However, you got stuck at the doubt round where the judges had to ask you questions, it was smooth until that one last question came up, which you had no idea how to answer.

You looked at Jay with worried eyes, but he kept his composure, remembering that particular piece of information from that one morning he made extra notes before going to your place, which he answered with full confidence, earning applause from the seated judges, and also you, a proud smile adorned your face.

You were sent back to the waiting area where you gushed about how cool Jay looked while answering with such confidence.

“It’s nothing,” he said, trying to act as if his ears weren’t turning red at your compliment.

“You’ll always be my shy baby,” you gently laughed.

He adorably rested his head on your shoulder as you praised him for being so intelligent while waiting for the result declaration.

“Now, for the most awaited first position, congratulations to ms. L/N and Mr. Park, from the Decelis Academy, Seoul!” The announcer declared.

You hugged him with joy, taking his hands in yours as you went on stage to accept the trophy, your teacher cheering and clicking pictures of you both from the audience seat.

Jay was overjoyed, somewhat because of winning the competition, but mostly for the reward that awaited him tonight. You both hugged again and got your trophy, Ms. Hwang treated you to dinner afterwards, being proud of you both and informing your principal at once.

Now that you were alone in your hotel room, without any distractions, you could easily see through Jay and how he was trying his best not to mention the reward you had promised you’d give him.

You smirked.

“My baby is so smart, shouldn’t he be rewarded now?” You asked, getting closer to him as he gulped down his nervousness.

“Please,” he breathed out.

“Please what, baby? Use your big words to tell me how you wish to be rewarded?” you encouraged him.

“Please, I want you,” he whimpered.

Your hands wandered around his torso, unbuttoning him one by one just to test his patience. He started helping you unbutton him, but you stopped him grabbing his cheeks.

“Did I give you permission to do anything?” You asked sharply while he shook his head, saying no.

“Be a good boy for me, yeah?” He nodded as your lips captured him into a deep kiss, your fingers gripped his hair while he held on to your waist, low hums and grunts were heard as you started grinding on him.

“Fuck me, please!” He cried out loud,

“Undress me,” you ordered.

He shakily took off your white blouse, leaving you in your lace bra, his eyes fixated on your body, and how pretty you looked in lace.

“Can I touch you?” He asked for your permission, you nodded.

He removed the remaining of your clothes and softly trailed his fingers down your body, as if trying to memorize you. Holding his hand, you guided him towards your wet pussy.

“Prep me, baby,” you instructed him as he hesitantly touched your core, spreading your juices in a circular motion.

He observed how you bit down on your lips and closed your eyes. Getting further validation from you, he pushed in a finger, slowly pumping it, he soon added another digit, his fingers curling inside of you sending you into bliss.

You felt your high nearing, “fuck, Jay I want to cum on your cock,” you said switching your positions so that you were straddling him, he cried out loud as your wet cunt came in contact with his throbbing dick.

“Moan louder, babyboy, tell everyone who the winner is tonight,” you said against his lips.

That let him loose, lewd sounds filled up the room.

“Louder,” you encouraged him, finally letting him enter inside you.

Your walls clenched around his thick member, adjusting to his size. You looked at him for permission.

“Please, you can move,” he allowed you.

Without wasting much of a second, you started riding him, your tits bouncing up and down in the process.

Jay couldn’t think straight anymore, his mind was corrupted by you, small dumb mumbles leaving his mouth and he loved how you were being equally soft and rough with him, considering it was his first time.

“Moan louder before I stop,” you threatened him, finally causing him extra stimulation when you clenched around him.

The pleasure was enough for his tears to run free, his cheeks blotchy with red speckles all over, and he moaned, just like you had wanted him to.

“Good boy,” you kept muttering, loving his sweet and needy voice.

“Let me cum, please?” He asked for your permission.

That is when you got off him.

“Not so fast, baby,” you replied with a peck on his lips.

Harsh whimpers left his mouth as you slowly stroked his leaking dick for the next few minutes.

“Please,” he begged after he couldn’t take it anymore, his dick twitching with how close he was.

“Impatient slut,” you slid into him again, your walls contracting around him, it was too much for him to take in.

You fastened your pace, “I’m about to—” he cried.

“Hold it in,” you warned, loved how he closed his eyes shut.

It was so fun teasing him.

You decided to be a bit gentle with him now that he was close, just like you.

“Cum inside me, love,” you encouraged

With a few more bounces, and his thrusts from below, he muttered a string of curses, emptying inside of you as you reached your high just a moment later.

You cupped his cheeks, not getting up but looking deep into his eyes.

“You did so well, I’ll arrange a nice hot bath for you to relax, yeah?” you softly caressed his cheeks.

He weakly nodded, still high from the activities done minutes back. Soon, you helped him into the tub, sitting on his lap as you softly washed his hair for him while he stared at you with stars in his eyes.

“What’s it?” you quietly asked, a small smile on your face.

“Thank you,” he pecked you, this time with adoration, catching you off guard as your heartbeat rose.

“I did nothing,” you smiled at him as he returned it.

You traced his red bruises, applying lotion to them and giving him a massage as well. Jay was thankful to say the least, eyes on your face.

“You’re staring,” you noted.

“You’re pretty,” he said, lowering his eyes as he did so.

“God, you’re so cute.” You kissed him softly, a shy smile gracing his face as you wrapped him in a towel.

“Come on, let’s sleep,” you patted the space near you.

“Can we cuddle?” he excitedly asked and you brightly nodded, taking him into your arms.

The room was silent, however, it felt comfortable, especially when you could feel Jay’s warmth in your arms.

“Y/N?” He called out your name.

You hummed, “yeah?”

“What are we?” he asked as he sat up to look at you.

“What do you mean?” you asked, also sitting up.

“I—what’s our relationship?” he gulped as he asked that, not sounding too confident, wondering if he’d be rejected.

“What do you want us to be?” you questioned, raising your brows.

Being with Jay was like a rollercoaster, you had grown a liking to him, more than you would like to admit.

His demure ways made you adore him, but he never hesitated to put a brave front for you and those cute efforts of his made you fall for him even more.

“I want us to be more than just friends,” he admitted.

You had bewitched Jay since the day you first talked to him, and the feeling only grew. He looked forward to spending time with you and soon it turned into yearning. He wanted to hold you in his arms and call you his, not wanting to share you with anyone else (ahem, Sunghoon), the phase might have been of only two months, but that was enough for him to fall for you.

“What’s more than friends?” you teased.

He pouted without even trying to, wondering if you were trying to ignore the topic because you didn’t want him, but seeing his expression, you frowned.

“Be my boyfriend,” you suddenly blurted out, not regretting it after.

Jay’s eyes widened comically, “w—what?”

You took a deep breath and laughed lightly, “Jay, baby, you’re so precious to me. Fuck! I like you so much, please be mine?” you expectantly stared at him.

His lips turned upwards and into the biggest smile you had ever seen on his face as he leaned forward and kissed you wordlessly, conveying his answer through it.

The kiss was deep and meaningful, “yes! yes, yes!” he squealed as you kissed him again.

“Hey, boyfriend,” you smiled.

“Hey, girlfriend,” he spoke with confidence, melting your heart as you pulled him down and into a hug which soon turned into a cuddling session.

Both of you fell asleep with smiles on your faces, your arms holding him tight.

Even after the competition, he couldn’t help but miss you every second of his day, texting you constantly, calling you at night just to stare at you during the two day holidays you had gotten.

The next time you met was after the competition was three days later at the school.

Jay saw Sunghoon approaching you, but he was faster as he stood in front of you, causing your eyes to widen at his sudden entry.

“Hi, baby,” he cooly said before placing a kiss on your lips.

You laughed at his childish behaviour as you see Sunghoon fuming from a distance.

“Getting protective, are we now?” you raised your eyebrow.

“You’re mine,” he tried to sound authoritative, but his voice came out in a whine.

“I’m yours,” you laughed, kissing him softly.

Safe to say, Sunghoon left after the little show Jay had put up and soon, the whole school knew about you two dating, half of them crying about how wrong the pairing is, you couldn’t care less though.

Jay was everything you needed and more, and you were going to cherish him for the rest of your life.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

TAGLIST: @ddeonuism @macaroonff @ajayke-reads @en-myworld @lunalovesstories @jayzdaze @deobitifull @silenth1lls @celeste-hoon @mari-oclock @kpoprhia @bolliwon @woniebae @lalalalawon @blessedcursd @skzenhalove

permanent taglist open! comment or send an ask to be added <3

#fic : the path to a nerd’s heart #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #jay smut #enha smut #jay x reader #kpop smut #enhypen imagines #park jay smut #sub!jay

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appocalipse · 9 months ago

Note

hello ♥ i'd like to request faded photograph + antique lock and key set with steve. maybe after what happened in s4 with steve and nancy and all that r decides to leave hawkins because she's sure he still loves nancy and she wants to move on? and if you want it could have a happy ending with one of those super cute love confessions ♥♥♥

ahhhh this is so steve! ♥ (also this is my version where eddie and max are alive and fine and hawkins is safe again)

visit amy's flea market ♥

"I need to tell you something."

Steve is not sure he likes the tone of your voice. It's somber, serious. His gut clenches, and for a brief moment, he scares himself with the thought that something might be wrong with you, something he might not be able to help with.

And it's raining outside, for God's sake. It's never good news on a rainy day like this, is it?

"Everything... everything is fine?"

"Yeah. Yes, everything is...fine."

You smile, but Steve notices it doesn't quite reach your eyes.

You look at him as if the words are stuck in your throat, as if they're heavy and you desperately want to get rid of them.

Finally, you clear your throat.

"I'm leaving."

Steve feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him. "What?"

"I'm leaving. Hawkins, I mean. Tomorrow."

You shrug, as if you're not sure what else to do with your arms, and then you turn around and Steve can't even attempt to read your expressions anymore.

He knows you've been thinking about college and your future, but he thought... well, he thought you'd stay. You'd told him months ago that you were actually planning to stay. And now...

Steve clears his throat, trying to keep his voice steady. And because he's sure this can't be happening, he double-checks, "For...for good?"

"Yeah. For good."

The silence between you feels like a living thing, thick and suffocating. Steve can feel the weight of it pressing down on him, making it hard to breathe. He wants to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. He's not sure if he's in shock or if he's just too stunned to form words.

"Why?" The question finally escapes him. "Why are you leaving?"

You turn back to him, and for a moment, Steve thinks he sees a glimmer of something in your eyes. Is it... sadness? Regret?

"I...I'm not sure, I guess," you say. "Just...why not?"

The words sound pathetic even to your own ears, but you can't help it. It's not like you don't love this place, this town, your friends... Steve. You do. You love it all.

Too much.

And it's different now. Hawkins is safe. The kids are safe. You're out of excuses to stay and get your heart broken a little further. It feels like it's time to move on, to leave behind the shadow of the Upside Down, to stop waiting for something to happen.

But Steve looks at you like you're making the biggest mistake of your life, and then he says the last words you'd expect him to say right now. "You want to leave and you don't even know why?"

It's not anger in his voice, but it's close. It's desperation and fear and a kind of raw pain that you'd expect to see in the eyes of someone who's just been told they have a terminal illness or something.

"I just..." you stammer, feeling the weight of his gaze pressing down on you. "I have to."

Steve shakes his head, looking as if he's trying to will you to stay. "You don't have to."

"Yes I do! In a way that you don't understand."

"Then explain it to me!"

You're angry now, and a little hurt. All of your other friends supported your decision; Eddie, the kids. Nancy. And out of all of them, Steve is your best friend. Shouldn't he understand most of all?

"It's not that easy! You don't understand what it's like here! I can't...I can't just stay!"

Steve takes a step back, clearly hurt. "What do you mean I don't understand?"

"I mean..." You trail off, feeling helpless.

What are you supposed to do? Tell him how you are such a coward you cannot stand to see him and Nancy find their way back to each other?

"...doesn't matter," you murmur. "Doesn't matter. You'll be fine, okay? You have... everyone."

The words taste bitter in your mouth, and you can tell they're not sitting well with Steve. He looks at you like you've just slapped him, and you feel a pang of guilt. But what else can you do? You can't tell him the truth. You can't tell him that you're leaving because you're terrified of never getting over your stupid feelings for him, of watching him and Nancy falling in love with each other all over again.

You can't tell him that every time you think about it, you feel like you're drowning.

"Look," you say, forcing a smile, "it's not like I'm never coming back or anything. I'll...I'll visit. And...and I'll...call."

Steve doesn't return your smile. He just looks at you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours, as if he's trying to find something. Something that you've been keeping hidden. And then he shakes his head, and a small, sad smile finally tugs at the corner of his lips.

"You know what?" he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe...maybe I should come with you."

You look at him, stunned. You hadn't even considered the possibility. Steve...leaving Hawkins? With you? It's a strange, surreal thought, and...no. Absolutely not.

That would totally ruin your plan.

"What?"

"Yeah," Steve says, surprising you again. "I mean...why not? It's not like I've got anything keeping me here. And maybe...maybe it'd be good for me to get away. You know? See something new, do something different."

He looks at you, hope in his eyes. And for a moment, you almost consider it. Almost. Because it's so much easier saying yes to Steve than saying no. You could be together, away from all the memories and the reminders of everything you've been through...but you'd still be just friends.

He'd be with you everyday, and that's the last thing you need.

You can't stand the thought of watching him find someone else, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Of course, you want him to have all of those things; you just don't want to watch.

Steve seems to sense your hesitation, his hope fading.

"You don't want me in your life," it's not a question.

You panic.

"No! I mean...I do, I..." You can feel the words tumbling out of you before you even realize what you're saying. "You just..."

"Is that why you want me to stay here? Just so you don't have to deal with me anymore?"

"No!" You shake your head violently. "Of course not! That's not it at all!"

But the words feel hollow, even to you. Because in some twisted, secret part of your mind, that's exactly how you feel. You want him to stay here, where it's safe, where he can't get close to you, where he can't hurt you. You know it's selfish, but you can't help it.

Steve's expression softens, and he takes a step closer. "Be honest with me."

You make an effort not to move.

"I'm sorry," you manage to say, your voice barely audible. "I don't want you to come with me, but it's not because...I just...I don't think it's a good idea. It'd be better for you to stay here, where you belong. You deserve...you deserve to be happy. Your life is here, your job...she is here."

"She?"

"Nance."

Steve's face twists into a bitter grimace. "What does Nancy have to do with anything?"

"I just mean...well, c'mon, she was your first love, and you still love her, it's clear, a-and now she's single again-"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second here," Steve says, his voice suddenly raised. "Nancy? You think I'm still in love with Nancy? You're kidding, right?"

You blink, surprised by the vehemence in his tone. But Steve has always been…protective of his feelings, refusing to really understand them. You had seen how he and Nance looked at each other when no one was around, how he would light up whenever she was near...even when you were in the Upside Down, fighting for your lives, Steve's eyes would sometimes drift towards Nancy, his expression softening.

It's obvious to you.

"Forget it," you say. "It's none of my business, I just...I want you to be happy."

"I am happy," Steve says, his voice low. "I'm happy with you here."

It feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. You want to say something, to apologize or explain or reassure...but you can't find the words, and with the way Steve is looking at you now, you're not even sure what it is you want to say anymore.

"Steve," you murmur in a small, quiet voice, your heart feeling like it's tearing in two.

He takes another step closer, and you feel your heart start to race. He cups your face in his hands, his touch gentle but firm, and leans in until his breath is warm against your lips. "Don't go anywhere," he asks.

Right this moment, you're not entirely sure you'd be able to if you tried.

Your feelings are confused enough. Being this close doesn't help.

"Steve," his name rolling off your tongue is somewhere between a plea and a warning as you look up into his eyes, chest heaving. You tell yourself you want to pull away, that you simply can't find the strength.

"You really think that?" he whispers. "You really think I'm still in love with her?"

His hands are still cupping your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as his lips part, and he slowly leans in, closer, until his nose is almost touching yours.

You fist your hands in the fabric of his shirt, trying to will yourself not to give in to this, to not feel this way, to not want this. "Please don't," you manage to choke out. "Don't do this."

His lips brush against yours, soft and hesitant. "Don't do what?" he whispers against your mouth. "Don't love you?"

"Steve." Desperation. Feels like the world is spinning out of control.

He pulls back, eyes searching yours. "What do you want me to do?"

Your throat feels tight. "Don't do this," you manage to whisper. "Don't choose me because you think I'm a consolation prize."

He frowns, confusion flitting across his features. "What are you talking about?"

You swallow hard, feeling the tears burning at the back of your eyes. "I don't want you to do this just because you don't want me to leave, or because you're lonely, or-"

Steve cuts you off with a gentle shake of his head. "I know that's not true, and you know that's not true," he says, his voice soft. "But if it's what you need to hear..."

He kisses you properly this time.

It's the kind of kiss that makes your toes curl, your heart skip a beat, and your stomach flip-flop. It's the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless, and a little dizzy, and more than a little bit in love. It's the kind of kiss that tells you, without a single word being spoken, that you are wanted, and cherished, and loved.

"Do you feel like a consolation prize when I do this?" he whispers against your lips. And he kisses you again, slowly, his weight pressing you against the wall. You feel the warmth of his body against yours, the hardness of his muscles beneath your fingertips. "Or when I do this?"

He trails his lips down your neck, leaving a trail of tiny kisses behind. You sigh, arching into him, and he chuckles softly.

"Steve..."

"Or this?"

He pulls back slightly, cupping your face with his hands, looking into your eyes as he trails his thumbs across your cheekbones. The softness of his touch catches you off guard. His gaze is intense, searching, and you feel like maybe he can see something there that no one else ever could.

"Do you really feel like a consolation prize?" Steve gently brushes his nose against yours. He smiles. "Because if you do..." He leans in, lips parting just enough for his breath to tease across your skin. "...I'll prove you wrong."

"Actually," you smile, feeling the warmth spread from your chest up to your cheeks. You wrap your arms around his neck. "I think I might need some more... convincing."

Steve grins, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, then." He leans in, pressing his lips against yours in a soft, gentle kiss. "I guess that's what I'll have to do."

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve x you #steve x reader #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #steve harrington drabble #🏷️ amy's flea market #amy's flea market

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aayakashii · 4 months ago

Note

could you feed us lyca simps?

I hope you don't mind the little slice of life fluff I ended up writing for this request, I just think he's too cute for his own good (๑•́ ᎔ ก̀๑) and thanks for the request!!

neapolitan

Warnings: none. Just tooth rotting fluff and slice of life. Lyca knowing nothing about the world, while MC holds his hand to introduce him to the fun things of life.

“You know you don't have to follow me right now, right? I'm just going to the store to restock my first aid kit…” you say, sighing in defeat, as you side-eye the tall boy prancing right beside you, almost attached to your hip.

Lyca puffs his chest, a small pout appearing under his sharp fangs.

“No, I have to! I don't trust that shop man. He is weird… He looks at you weird!”

Well… You couldn't quite deny that fact.

“But don't you have homework from Professor Moby?”

“Who is that again? You know I don't remember their names” Lyca asks, scrunching his brows and scratching his head, as if he was searching his brain for the right face to attach to the name.

“Professor squirmy” you suppress a smile as you use Lyca's nickname for the eldritch teacher.

“Oh! I have already done all my homework from his class, though?”

“Really?” you look at him with widened eyes “That's very responsible of you, Lyca. That's great!” you smile, giving him two thumbs up.

You do wonder how he managed to finish it all so quickly, since he had difficulty reading harder kanjis, but you just chalk it up to Subaru helping him out without your knowledge.

He huffs, cheeks just a little bit rosy.

“Of course! That's nothing for someone like me. I'm gonna be an exemp… exemp… eggs-emm-puh-larry… member of human society!” Lyca says, slapping his own chest with a loud thud.

“An exemplary member of human society, right?” you repeat his words, more fluently than him, so he can hear how it's usually pronounced.

“That's what I said.” he mumbles and pushes the door to Darkwick's local store open, pointing to the inside of the dimly lit shop “You first.”

You widen your eyes once again, and chuckle.

“Wait, when did you learn to be so gentlemanly?” you say, as you walk through the door with him right after you.

“The blonde gigolo has been teaching me some things. He says being a gen-tle-man would make people respect me more.”

You nod at his words right as the door closes loudly behind him, the chime bell slamming against the door frame.

Okay, well. Maybe he still needs a bit of practice.

You wince at the loud sound, but after just a few seconds, you immediately relax, feeling the cool air inside the store hit your body. The fragrant scent of pastries being displayed inside a small shelf and the gentleness of the low lights also lull you into a sense of tranquility.

It seems like the effect is the same on Lyca, because you see the way his shoulders slump a little bit and how his grumpy face gives way to an eased expression.

You decide to browse through the shelves for a bit, absentmindedly, before getting your supplies. Lyca stood close, his nose sniffing every little thing you pointed out.

After a lot of explaining about products (No, Lyca, you cannot eat tide pods, those are for washing clothes. Yes, Lyca, you can actually eat hard candy, they aren't made for biting though. No, Lyca, just because tide pods and hard candy look similar, doesn't mean they're the same thing), you grab all your needed supplies and make your way to the cashier.

Thinking hard about how to keep Lyca from growling at the shopkeeper, you barely notice how the werewolf walks towards a small freezer a few steps to the side of the cash register. You finish paying when you hear his voice calling at you.

“Hey! Hey! What's this?” he points to the inside of the freezer and you walk to his side, his hands instinctively grabbing your bags so he could carry them for you.

“Those are ice cream pots.” you look at the multi colored labels that advertised a small range of different flavors. “Have you ever eaten ice cream, Lyca?”

“What's that?” he looks inquisitively at the small containers.

“It's a type of frozen sweet. It has lots of flavors and it's usually eaten when it's hot outside.”

He hums, still staring at the pots.

“Do you like sweets, Lyca?”

“Hmm, not really…”

“Oh, I see...”

“But! It's, um. It's hot outside, right?” he replies quickly, looking at you expectantly.

You smile to yourself, thinking about how his tail would probably be wagging if it was out right now.

“That's true, it's very hot outside. I think ice cream sounds great right now, what do you think?”

“I- I agree! Of course.” he huffs, as if he wasn't almost hopping with joy at the idea.

You chuckle and open the freezer, grabbing a small pot for the both of you. After paying for the frozen treat and grabbing two spoons, you two go out into the merciless heat of Darkwick's campus.

“Okay, so.” you sit under a huge tree overlooking a lake, hiding from the sun rays under the cool shade, and grab the ice cream pot.

Lyca sits right next to you, back straight as a plank, paying full attention to you and the mysterious treat you bought.

“I bought this one because it has three of the most classic flavors, and since you never ate ice cream, I figured you should taste the most common ones first. It's called neapolitan.” you explain, opening the lid and giving him a spoon “It's vanilla, strawberry and chocolate”

His eyes sparkle, looking at the frozen sweet. Your eyes widen as you see his wolf ears and tail pop out instinctively, but you choose not to mention it.

“Oohh! It looks good! Which one should I try first?” he asks, tail sweeping the grass under him.

“You can try whichever you want. Go crazy!”

You immediately regret your words as he shoves his spoon deep into the ice cream, grabbing more than one flavor, and eating a huge spoonful in one go.

“Ugh!! My head!!” he yells after a little while, clawing at his own forehead.

“Lyca! You can't eat cold things so quickly, you'll get brain freeze” you scold him, rolling your eyes.

“Well, tell me that sooner!” he groans, still holding his head, eyes shut tight.

“You're supposed to know that instinctively!”

He grunts, shaking his head as the sharp pain disappears slowly.

“Grab just one flavor at a time for now, so you can see which one you like more. Then you can mix everything. Like this” you say as you scoop a bit of strawberry ice cream into your spoon and eat it.

He mimics your action, scooping a bit of vanilla ice cream first.

Lyca's face falls as he smacks his lips repeatedly, tasting the ice cream.

“It's not that big of a deal.” he says, visibly disappointed.

“That's okay, now try the pink one.”

He does as you say and immediately scrunches his face.

“Uwah! That's awful! I don't want to eat it!”

You sigh, thinking about how Lyca seems more like a werecat than a werewolf at times.

“That's fine, it's just your personal taste. Now try the brown one. It's chocolate.”

Lyca hesitates, not really trusting your words after the previous experiences, but scoops a bit of chocolate ice cream either way. As soon as he eats the treat, his ears and tail perk up.

“Ohhh!!! This one is good!!” He yells, tail wagging a thousand miles per hour and eyes sparkling as he scoops a huge amount of chocolate ice cream again.

“Careful, or you're gonna get brain freeze again!” You scold him, but immediately give up, sighing and smiling at the sight of him happily smearing chocolate onto his face, like a big baby.

“I like the brown one mixed with the white-ish yellow-ish one! The pink one is gross though!” He says grabbing the ice cream with his hands, spoon immediately forgotten.

“Ah, Lyca! You're not supposed to eat it with your hands! You'll get all dirty…” you fret, afraid he'll get his uniform stained once again.

“But it's better this way, because I can feel how cold it is with my hands. You humans are so weird with all your rules…” he grumbles.

You sigh, as he pouts and licks his hands clean, grumpiness fully back.

“You have to learn these rules to become human though? But…” you trail off and he looks at you as you rummage through your pockets, fishing out a handkerchief.

You hold his cheek, wiping his face clean, ignoring the little blush that tinted his face as you got closer.

“But as long as it's just us, you can eat however you want. Just don't do it in public. And don't tell Rui I said this! He thinks I spoil you way too much. Deal?”

Lyca looks away, clearing his throat that suddenly got parched, despite all the ice cream he had just eaten.

“Hmpft. D-deal.”

#tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker x reader #tokyo debunker lyca colt #lyca colt

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babypinkhearts · 10 months ago

Text

spare me this - anakin skywalker

pairing: anakin skywalker + fem!reader

summary: the council assigns you on a deathly solo mission, forbidding anakin to join you.

warnings: angst (i don’t know what is wrong with me!! i am addicted to writing it now), mentions of injury and death, anakin is so sweet and sosososo in love it’s almost pitiful, fluff

a/n: i feel like i put a part of my soul in this. i feel so drained but finishing this feels SO rewarding. another day for firsts! this is my first time writing for anakin, or anything star wars related :) this has been sitting in my drafts for MONTHS. i figured, while i still feel motivated to write, let me finish this!!! hope you all enjoy <3 i loved writing it

“three days.” you repeated faintly.

you disliked how quiet anakin was at times. it often left you more troubled than relaxed.

you frowned when he didn’t look at you from his stubborn stare at the ceiling. sighing softly, you mimicked his eyes and looked upwards, your neck rested against the headboard of the bed.

“we will come back victorious, and we will be right here. together again.”

the night before your mission’s departure, you slept in anakin’s room. it would have been much easier to ignore him, act like he didn’t exist for a while. the two of you were far too dependent on one another. the love sometimes felt overwhelming.

however, anakin’s fear was far too evident. it was strong - too strong to the point where you genuinely believed someone else could detect it. you decided that if you could soothe his worries, he’d be relieved of his thoughts.

but anakin didn’t speak. he refused, and his body simply forbid him from trying. not a touch or word was directed at you. it had almost been an hour of pure silence.

unbeknownst to you, there was a helpless feeling of uncertainty that anakin could clearly sense from you. that was what was driving him crazy.

bloodshed was a promise, you already knew it. your master had spoken grimly about the mission, and it was anakin who realized - much quicker than you - that this battle would not end seamlessly.

there was a large, if not, inevitable chance of you coming back alarmingly injured.

you were calculated, strong, and reliable. it was you who the council had chosen to lead the mission.

they were selfish, anakin believed.

“obi-wan knows this will kill me.”

anakin bleakly spoke, his voice muffled by the blanket he had brought up to his face. you decided against expressing your surprise to the sound of his voice.

while obi-wan had no idea about the true nature of your relationship with anakin, he was aware that you served as each other’s weaknesses. jedi code called for the banishment of any attachments, though obi-wan knew he himself had begun to break them when he started to form a brotherly bond with his once-padawan. he held no room for judgement.

while you hadn’t spent nearly as much time with him as anakin had, you felt very fond of him. there was a certain soothing atmosphere that only seemed to arrive in his presence.

secretly, obi-wan had pulled you aside mere hours after your mission was announced. his voice was low as he spoke, and he had gently held your arm the entire time.

“you come back within your scheduled arrival, and everything will be fine. i cannot promise you we will be at ease if you take longer.”

and, of course, through unknowing ears this was a simple comment - a statement of encouragement, really. but it was a completely different story when you could see the true intentions in his words.

anakin would not be at ease, is what he had wanted to say.

and obi-wan was right. from the moment you explained your mission to anakin, he had gone silent. you had been in your room, slowly walking in circles as you counted the tasks you were required to fulfill on your journey.

you hadn’t noticed how awfully pale your jedi had become.

now in present, you realized he had never left his stage of shock.

anakin hated this. he hated how guilty he felt for the resentment he had towards your capabilities. you had impressed the council too much, and it had put you in a dangerous position. he hated how careless you tried to sound, and he hated how you only gave the reply of “yes, master” when being told the instructions of your suicide mission. most importantly, he hated how he was forbidden to join you.

“how do i live? how do i function when you could be dead at any moment?”

you froze, eyes widening.

anakin’s words were cold, and you fought the urge to feed into his frighteningly grim thoughts.

pursing your lips briefly, you forced a smile, brushing back his hair from his forehead. anakin was laying on his back, eyes still narrow and focused upwards. you tried to keep the mood light, attempting to add a little amusement to calm the tense atmosphere his question had made.

“we’re both aware i’m capable enough to handle myself. i used to beat you during training, and i saved you from-“

your playful smile faded, and you gave up talking once you realized he had started to look up at you.

anakin knew you were strong. he didn’t need to hear your reassurance, especially when he knew even you were undoubtedly terrified.

for a while, he just stared at you. it wasn’t intimidating - he could never direct an emotion like that at you - but you felt exposed, almost as if you should shield your face.

anakin felt troubled, trying to piece together all his discomforting emotions clearly. to have you so close seemed to be a punishment. you shouldn’t be here. he shouldn’t be seeing the worry in your eyes, or watching the slight furrow of your brows. although, there was something so beautiful about your concern. he wasn’t made to feel these kinds of emotions, especially ones that one mere person could provide.

for a moment, he wished he didn’t know you. selfishly, he knew that would relieve him of the pain.

“anakin,”

his name that only ever sounded right when you said it.

“what’s the matter, ani?”

there were no protests made when you moved closer to him. the security and serenity he felt with your arms around him made it feel impossible to refuse.

anakin trusted you with his life. he’d give you his life in a heartbeat. he’d do anything for you. and yet - why couldn’t you help him believe you would be okay on this mission? it was cruel, picking on his one and only weakness. his heart, which you held so effortlessly. his mind consisted of you, you, you.

with a shaky sigh, he spoke.

“you’re scaring me.” he quietly admitted.

his eyes were glossy, nearing a depressive red. his stare was piercing. you weren’t sure you wanted his attention anymore.

confused, though mostly alarmed, you continued to look back at him. scaring him?

“you think you’re going to die, don’t you?”

your eyes widened, and suddenly you felt very vulnerable being in front of him.

“anakin - what?” you stumbled out, shaking your head in surprise. he couldn’t be serious. you attempted to talk, reassure him that you would be fine, but his gaze was unfocused. he didn’t want to listen to your futile words. anakin knew you better than anyone else.

“please, do not lie to me.” he whispered, and in that particular moment, you had never seen him so small. “spare me that.”

anakin skywalker, the reckless jedi who consistently charmed his way through trouble. someone who was so spontaneous, yet brilliant.

love kept him going. it wasn’t unrequited. he knew that more than anything. love got him up in the morning. love was adrenaline. love was everything and so much more.

he couldn’t bare losing it.

“i-“ you shook your head again, pausing briefly to lay beside him. a hand was placed on his cheek, and you caressed his face gently.

anakin��s eyes closed, and once more he felt a wave of anger pass through him. he hated the council, he hated the jedi. he hated everything to do with this. they were trying to take you from him. your sweet touches, your soft voice, your caring nature. he felt so bitter it hurt.

you pursed your lips, letting a sigh escape you.

“i will tell you this.“ you whispered, cupping a hand around his soft face. “i am scared. i act like i am not because that is what i must do.”

for the past couple of hours, anakin had assumed that hearing you admit your fear out loud would put his mind at ease. maybe, if you admitted you weren’t invincible, he could convince you to take extra care of yourself.

but your words had the opposite effect on him.

you were scared. and he wouldn’t be there to help.

“i cannot promise you i’ll be unscathed, anakin, but i can promise that i will come back to you.”

it took everything in you to not break in front of him.

you forbid him from continuing the conversation further after that.

when the morning you had dreaded arrived, you silently awaited for a signal on your commlink to commence your departure.

you had left anakin, quietly pleading for him to stay optimistic during your absence. he had helped you get dressed. his touch was like a feather, gently escorting you to a hell you could only hope would be generous to you.

weapons were hidden under your robes, as usual. two lightsabers, because you had learned from anakin years ago that an extra could never hurt.

you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt possibly felt guilty.

anakin had trained you, hoping that an increase in your skill would payoff on the battlefield to solely keep you safer when he wasn’t around.

but you had surpassed his expectations. and now, you were in this position.

it had been an honor to be praised so highly. though, you quickly found that, in reality, it was not something to completely look forward to. anakin’s worry being the main reason.

when your commlink finally sounds off, you waste no time in leaving.

three days, you had claimed to anakin.

when you finally return, a week had gone by.

and just like you had repeated to anakin so many times before - you were victorious.

though, not unscathed.

“medical-“ you breathed heavily, your hand glued to your side as you stepped out of your starfighter, your heart pounding in upmost fear as you realized your vision had begun to blur.

you couldn’t tell who grabbed you first. it wasn’t anakin, you knew that by muffled noise of calm reassurance. if anakin were here, he would have the entire building burned to the ground in seconds. if it weren’t for the excruciating pain you felt everywhere, you could have chuckled at the thought.

“requesting medical attention - yes, this is urgent.”

blinking as quickly as you could, which looked evidently labored, you watched as obi-wan spoke through his commlink.

yours had broken days ago, leaving you stranded with no communication. retreating was never an option in your mind, and you stupidly had fought until your mission had succeeded.

the consequences of your actions truly haunted you as you were lifted on to a table, the strong scent of medication telling you that, yes, your wound was as bad as it felt, if not worse.

and finally, the mask put over your mouth lulled you to a more painless state of sleep.

upon the first few seconds of opening your eyes, you tried to immediately close them again.

of course, anakin was right next to you.

you heard him jolt in his seat, repeatedly calling your name as if you would die if he stopped. his voice sounded hoarse. gently, you reached your arms out, silently begging for him to touch you. you needed his embrace. you can not have gone through all this effort for nothing. he was why you had tried so hard to survive. without a word, anakin complied to your silent request. his hands cupped your face, while yours did the same to him.

his chest was shaking with uneven breaths.

“i made it back - just like i said, right?” you spoke quietly, smiling through a wince. joking was never the way to handle serious situations with anakin, but fuck, you really couldn’t handle how broken he looked.

he didn’t smile. he hadn’t taken your eyes off of you, almost as if you would disappear the second he looked away.

“don’t ever do this to me again.”

you quickly stopped speaking at his tone. unstable and hurt. you can’t promise that to anakin. it would be selfish. you help people - your mission had hopefully saved thousands. what is one life to lose if it can save so many more? you’re skilled, why not use your potential for something extraordinary?

“leave the order with me.”

your eyes widen, bigger than you mean them to.

“i-i can’t do that.” you reply immediately, shaking your head in his gentle grasp. leaving the order was nearly unspoken of - all of these years training, dedicating your life - what would it have been for? you can’t leave. people need you - the galaxy needs you.

you would have anakin, but could you live with yourself? all these years, you’ve been taught to be selfless, so why is anakin proposing such an idea?

you’re sure he can see the conflict on your face.

“you almost died.”

his bluntness forces to you remember the stinging pain on your side. you shake your head.

“that’s a part of the job.” you speak firmly. “i would be injured a hundred times over if it meant someone won’t be.”

anakin immediately lets go of your face.

“listen to me,”

it’s nearly a full-body sob, and you watch as he stands straighter, attempting to compose himself.

you feel your heart drop to your stomach.

“you’re hurting me - i don’t care if i’m being selfish! i love you. i love you more than anything, and i know i cannot live without you.”

anakin skywalker’s love for you was almost pitiful. he himself nearly couldn’t stand it. how can one person cause so much heartache? why is it possible to care for someone as much as he does for you? his outburst was childish, and he’s aware. but he needs you to see him, so raw, so authentically. maybe if you could see the pain he was in, you would spare him more easily.

“anakin…” you whispered, so quietly you almost doubted he heard you.

the reality was, you tended to push anakin away. you were hesitant to love him. you felt greedy whenever you allowed yourself to love him so deeply. you were meant to serve others, not have feelings of your own. anakin was your weakness, and that scared you more than anything. if you were going to be powerful enough to save millions, it would be foolish to have a flaw.

but, clearly, anakin didn’t care about weaknesses. he had you, and loved you with open arms, and despite this, he preformed better than you in nearly everything. how does he manage?

“i love you too much.” his voice was defeated, and the anger he had previously held dissipated. “obi-wan saw me sulk after the three days. he stopped me from seeing you when you arrived.”

you nodded slowly. it made sense, you couldn’t imagine the scene that would have occurred if it had been anakin carrying your half-conscious body. anakin skywalker reacted according to his feelings. he was spontaneous.

you sighed quietly.

“i would never leave the order, anakin. i wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” you spoke, and winced as you visibly saw him tense.

you had to be honest with him.

reaching a hand out, you grabbed his, gently interlocking your fingers.

“but, i can promise you that i will never take a mission like that. it was reckless, i know. i’m so sorry.”

he didn’t speak, taking a seat on your bed.

he was unsatisfied, you knew that.

but you couldn’t change the entire trajectory of your life for him just because he worries you’ll get hurt. it would be wrong, and you know, though he won’t say it out loud, anakin agrees with you.

he allows himself to give into desires. it’s not because he feels he’s “deserving” of them, but because it’s something that comes so natural to him. so why must it be wrong to love you?

anakin is confident with your abilities. he knows how strong you are. but it’s second-nature for him to worry. you’re something so precious to him in this world of despair.

so he’ll stay silent and let you do whatever you please. he cannot hold you back, and he’s now painfully aware of it. but, he can help you.

more trainings, better advice, and more time.

you have each other, and he is satisfied with that forever.

#star wars fanfiction #star wars x reader #star wars fic #star wars x you #anakin skywalker #anakin angst #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x you #obi wan kenobi #obi wan star wars #darth vader #revenge of the sith #darth vador x reader #luke skywalker #obi wan x reader #rots #r2d2 #star wars anakin

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eeunoia · 5 months ago

Text

ENHYPEN Imagines

limerence.

pairings: lee heeseung x reader

synopsis: you’ve been secretly admiring and slightly staking lee heeseung for a while now. the admiration you once thought to be harmless started to evolved and made you do something unexpected.

warnings: grammatical error, obsessive love, stalking (slight), yandere.

word count: 5k.

note: this took a while to be posted. i know, i’m so lazy to post it, i’m sorry lmao. anyway, enjoy! also this is connected to the other yandere fics of enhypen. i will probably put it into a masterlist together. replies and reblogs are highly encouraged! send me a message to my asks too! i love reading them. thank you so much, ily. stay safe!

‘Have you ever liked someone?’

Probably, right? Okay, let me rephrase it...

‘Have you ever liked someone to the point that you feel obsessed? Like you watch him silently, dreamt of him being with you...’

“Hi Heeseung!” your eyes snapped open when you heard that name. With squinting eyes, you tried to scan the wide field of your school to look for him.

And there he is.

Lee Heeseung.

Standing confidently by the field, wearing his jersey like he was meant to play rugby even before he was born. His pitch black hair falls messily on top of his sinful beautiful face. He smiles softly as he waves at the girls by the end of the bench. They screamed loudly after managing to catch his attention.

The handsome man doesn’t seem to even be slightly bothered by it as he comes to receive such reactions from girls everyday. You knew. Because you always watch him from afar, admiring him.

He’s one of the popular kids in your school. Very handsome, plays sport, not so bad with his acads and from a wealthy family. Girl’s will fall on their knees for him and you cannot blame them. He is worth to be simped for. Mainly why you had fallen into this deep dark obsession you slowly grew addicted on.

It started normal. A girl catching attraction over his schoolmate. Somehow, you wanted to blame him for being so cool with everything. Whatever he does, he have this way of turning it into an attractive way. It was hard to properly explain, but its sums up to Lee Heeseung being overwhelmingly admirable.

“You should go for it, dude!” your steps halted from walking along the long hallway when you saw two familiar tall figures.

One was Park Jongseong, also known as Jay, and then the taller one is Lee Heeseung leaning over one of the lockers. They’re looking over somewhere— more like someone. You unconsciously followed his line of sight and saw Irish, one of the cheerleader of your school. Totally hot chick babe and almost everyone in the campus knows her.

You saw how Heeseung’s stares pierced right at her while she laughs with her friends, unaware of it. Something bitter slowly spreads your chest and made it harder for you to take further steps.

Heeseung didn’t say a word to his friend and just kept his stares over Irish. Like he’s watching her very closely, observing everything about her. Just like how you are to him. A part of your heart cracks at the thought of it, but you couldn’t really blame him. Irish are exactly the type of girl that fits him very well. For all you know, the whole school will rejoice.

You snapped back to reality when you saw them slowly facing your way. Panic consumes you when you saw them heading your way. You and Heeseung will walk across each other. As usual, you lowered your head trying to prevent any chances of eye contact.

While in a hurry, you unexpectly clash over someone and you turned right away to face them. The lace to your i.d slightly got tangled with the other person and because you faced them, it got off. Thankfully, neither of them got broken.

“I’m sorry fo—” your eyes grew wide at the sight of Lee Heeseung. His placid expression as he stared down right at you just sent shivers to your spine, stomach churns and legs wobbling.

Your heart bursts just by short eye contact so you bowed politely and run away. You probably look like a pathetic loser for him now because of how you reacted and the students around who witnessed the scene might think you are being crazy.

The thoughts and worries were forcedly shoved away by your consciousness. Finally snapping out of the embarrassing quick flashback. It’s not like he will remember you anyway. Nobody in your school does. For them, you’re invisible.

You have no friends. It’s totally fine for you. Its not so sad to the point you cry inside your bedroom every night just because you have nobody to walk with you along the school premises. You aren’t a loner because they isolated you purposely. It was your own choice.

Besides, how can you freely spy Lee Heeseung if you have a friend that goes around with you all the time? They will just think you are a creep or much worst, they might report you.

As you try to catch your breath and calm yourself, the vivid memory of Heeseung’s face up close flashes back to your mind. His pretty eyes, nose pointy and kissable lips. Not to mention his slightly tan complexion. Suddenly, your heart starts racing once again.

Bumping into him was so far your first true interaction with him and the distance a while ago was the closest you got. Due to his tall height and slim body proportions, he doesn’t seem like someone whose physically strong. But when you bump into him, he didn’t even moved. Like as if you hit a wall and not a person.

Just by thinking of it makes you blush hard. It feels illegal to feel so good about it. With a ghost of smile, you started heading to your next class.

It was break time already and so Heeseung and his friends gathered together as usual. When he arrived, he already saw some of his friends hanging out near the cafeteria, causing some traffic due to the girls who wants to stare at them.

“Let’s go. I’m starving.” he says that caught their attention. Jungwon whose on his phone nods, while Jake headlocks Ni-ki so they can go inside.

Jay waits for Heeseung to catch up on him before he lays his hand on him, asking for something. He smirks before fishing something from his pocket and handed it to him without a word.

Sunghoon and Sunoo follows behind them as they go inside the rowdy cafeteria. Eyes follows them shamelessly and they didn’t really put much care into it. As long as they don’t bother them, he’s cool with him.

His eyes roamed around and caught Irish' group of friends at the left corner. She’s talking with them while she fixes her hair from time to time. Heeseung snaps back to reality when someone claps their hand to his shoulder. It was Jake.

“Do you think it would work?” Heeseung unconsciously asked.

Jake follows his line of sight and he chuckles, “It will for sure. Don’t you trust me?”

Heeseung whips his head to face his friend and smirks at him. “I trust your plan. I’m just a little excited.”

His friends flashed him this teasing grin before nodding his head while smiling downwardly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get her soon.”

He nods and the line moved so its their turn to buy food. They chose the table near the entrance so they can leave easily. Their heads looked over Jungwon when he sighs a little, resting his phone down the table. His food untouched.

“What’s wrong?” Jay asked the younger one, a little concerned.

Jungwon eyes them and shook his head once. “(jungwon’s girl)’s refusing to eat again. She said she wants to come out of the house.” his tone low, enough for them to only hear.

They seem unbothered by the fact that their friend, the kind Yang Jungwon, president of the student council, has been hiding one of their schoolmate. The one that has been missing for months now.

“Why? I thought she’s finally behaving already?”

Jungwon smiles a little, a sign of victory.

“She is. Well, she gets bored of waiting for me to come home everyday from school. She wants to go out and attend school again.”

Heeseung’s mind went blank before his head unconsciously darting at the left corner of the cafeteria. He saw her finally eating her food. He watches her silently while imagining being with her. Holding her by his arms, inhaling her scent, kissing her neck, cheeks, nose and lips.

He cut his own thoughts as he’s slowly falling deep into it. He can’t be submissive over his own greed and ends up messing everything. It can’t be good, specially that they need to follow.

“Oh, right...” Jungwon starts that caught his friends' attention.

“Did you manage to get the part time?” he asks his Sunoo hyung. The latter smiles brightly and raises his thumbs up, making them all smile as well.

“I bribed the manager to let me work there for a week or so. He didn’t even think twice.” he announced.

Ni-ki scoffs after taking a sip from his drink. “What about your parents? Did they ask why you suddenly want to work a part time job?”

“Mom got curious, but I told her I just really want to try working.”

“And she buys it?”

“Yes.” and Sunoo nods.

They resumed eating, talking from time to time. They enjoy their food while the other students enjoy watching them eat.

“Look who's here...” Jake whistles and nudge his chin over a direction, informing them of who just entered the cafeteria along with her best friend.

When their eyes saw who it was, Heeseung’s eyes flee over Sunghoon and he already has glaring eyes towards Jake.

“Don’t whistle like that. She ain’t a dog.” he seriously said that earns only playful giggles from Jake and Ni-ki.

“I heard she likes you very much Hoon.” Heeseung says.

The statement made the boiling anger in his friend’s eyes calm down as he licked his lips, ears burning red.

Jungwon chuckles, “You’re still after Heeseung hyung, remember that.”

“I fucking know. So hurry up so I can have mine.” he said directly at Heeseung that only made him smile. He badly wants to do it quickly as well.

Your obsession is getting worst. Before, you’re already contented just by looking at him, watching him. And now seeing him lurking around Irish makes you feel so mad. You have no rights to, but that’s what you’re feeling.

How can he show those sweet smiles towards her? Carry her bag? Stare at her eyes softly? Why can’t it be you?

It's been a week ever since you’ve seen Heeseung hanging out with Irish too often. News of the two of them dating surrounds the campus like a wild fire and its making you feel so... jealous. You know its bad. You know its wrong, but you’re starting to hate Irish. Even if she’s not doing anything to you.

No... Actually she did something. She stole Heeseung.

While studying one night and obviously having zero progress, you decided to cut some slack and lay down your bed. Scrolling over your tiktok and then switching it to naver, scanning some latest news. It was pretty boring, not until a popular search caught your eye.

‘How can you make someone like you back?’

You’ve never clicked so fast in your life. Feeling impatient for it to load completely, you nibbled on your lower lip, eyes fixed at the screen of your phone.

There are pretty decent suggestions, such as dressing up, having make overs, try to get their attention.. blah blah. Same bullshits that you can see on movies or tv series. Its actually annoying how they think that could work? For people who's naturally pretty or full of charms, maybe.

You cursed and was about to exit the damn article when something caught your attention once again. Its a comment probably left by someone in a joking way. A hundred replies were left beneath it and it gained almost a thousand likes.

‘Kidnap them and keep them in your house.’

Your heart beats so fast by the illegal and dark thoughts that occupies your mind. These are the things that can ruin everything in you, but this obsession seems to be feeding and growing nonstop inside you and now its unstoppable. All you can think of is that you have to get him. You’ve got to have Lee Heeseung for yourself.

A week later, with nervous hands fidgeting together and rigid breathing, you pull your face mask upper to make sure it covers the lower part of your face. A black hat tops your outfit. People won’t be suspicious of you as wearing face masks became pretty normal already.

You can almost hear your heart thumping loudly inside your chest when you felt a presence looming behind you.

“Coal?” one man muttered the code name you told him to use once he arrived so you’ll know its him.

You didn’t even glance at him and just try to hand him the paperbag containing your payment for the stuff you asked online. It was odd that you’re here at the vacant park near your apartment building but its much weirder that you can buy these type of serums on the internet. Although it requires a lot of secrecy, but still. Now this feels very illegal.

After he handed you your package, the man never said another word. It was impossible to tell who it was too since like you, he’s all covered. Well, if he’s going to illegally sell these meds he really needs to hide his identification.

He left afterwards. It was like as if he wasn’t even there. It makes you feel shivers down your spine and eyes dropped at the paperbag. Your heart thumps, remembering what it contains inside. You’re a little hesitant, makes you wonder if you should continue your plan or just back out.

But then Heeseung kept flashing inside your mind.

You decided to walk back to your apartment as it was late already and you shouldn’t encounter anyone. Nobody should know that you went out of your apartment at this time.

Once back inside, you went to the fridge and get your favorite drink. Thankfully, you stopped by the convenience store near your place before going home. You didn’t need to go there right now that can make you suspicious.

You have a simple plan. It’s not the best one you can come up with, but its better that way or not getting Heeseung at all.

First, you will wait for him at his usuall route back to his apartment. For some reasons, he take the shorter way near the park where you just got your package. He walks there whenever he doesn’t take his car because of practice.

They have rugby practice during tuesdays and thursdays. You’ll wait for him that day and quietly stalks behind him. That won’t be too hard because you’ve done it multiple times, he never caught on you. It’s either he's really dense or he’s just very tired from practice to even give a fuck.

While you stalk behind him, you will find the perfect timing to go close and point a knife on his side. You will threaten him to come with you or else you will hurt him.

A lot of contrasting thoughts occupies your mind, but you disregard all of them and stayed positive.

There’s just some minor problems. Sometimes, he walks with another friend. Another one is that since he’s very tall and obviously much well built than you, he’ll probably fight back, right? Will your plan even work? The last problem is that you have to make sure nobody will see it. His practice ends late, so he’ll probably walk home late as well.

The next day was wednesday and you’re planning to execute your plan tomorrow. They will have a practice and since the games are near, surely they will stay late. Mixed emotions while trying to prepare yourself for what's about to unfold.

“Ack!” your head unconsciously snaps over to the side after hearing someone shriek from the corner.

Three people are at the far side of it, making sure their presence will be unknown by any school officials. You kept staring and when you realized that Jay was one of the three, you let out a sigh. He’s probably bullying lower years once again.

He often loves playing pranks or occasionally makes fun of the lower batch. You slightly feel bad for them, but there’s really nothing you can do. Jay’s one of the most influential kids in your school. His family is very wealthy and have a lot of connections all over the town. It sure is a bad idea to go against him.

Just like other students, you turned blind-eye and just went on walking back to your classroom. Being observant gave you the ability to adapt to your surrounding and to avoid any way to get into people’s bad side.

Specially to Heeseung’s group of friends' bad side. They’re the most dangerous kids here if you’ll be very honest.

Starting off with Yang Jungwon. His father is the Governor. Being the younger son, his parents always favor him. Next is Jay, his father owns a big travels agency. He’s their only child too so that only means his parents will do anything for him.

Follows up to him is Jake Sim. His parents are both doctors and they own multiple Hospitals. They also own one of the biggest pharmaceuticals in the country. And you know what it means when your source of income aligns with health, it reeks of money. Health is wealth, that’s what they said. Well, he at least he do well in school unlike some of them. You’ll give him that.

Park Sunghoon. The first child of the owners of the biggest and most famous Law firm in the country. His father won a lot of big cases local and international. It was no doubt that he have the ability to manipulate the law itself in any way he wants. He’s a snobby one too.

Kim Sunoo is the youngest child of business tycoons. His parents owns big and well known commercial establishment all over the country. He’s no joke. Very spoiled as well and have a rude attitude. His face speaks for him whenever he look over people that are not on his level.

Nishimura Riki, middle child of said to be owners of Engineering and Architectural companies that said to be incharge of building the biggest establishments and also the roads of the country.

Lee Heeseung is just the same with the six of them. His parents owns an airline and is currently one of the three biggest in the country. He’s the youngest of the two sons and sure is spoiled rotten.

Their families are considered the most powerful and influential families in the town. They basically rule this place. Nobody, as in no soul dares to mess with them. Their kids, which is the seven gorgeous boys you just mentioned, were the ones that rules the school like their own playground.

The thought made you halt your step. Are you really gonna do that? You’re probably losing your mind at the moment. Lee Heeseung is the son of one of the most influential people in your town. There’s no way you could execute this plan properly, right? This is probably the worst idea.

But as if like the fate is playing jokes on you, just in time Lee Heeseung walks ahead of you. His familiar manly scent made it to your nose that instantly drawn you into a spell. A dangerous one.

Your eyes follows him while he walks confidently over the hallway of your building. His wide back and long legs sure is eye-catching as you watch students almost breaking their necks just to get a good glimpse of the said boy.

Still under that dangerous spell, you ignored all those thoughts and your decision to do what you planned ruled over the fear.

The next day came and you’re currently at a near convenience store to buy your favorite drink. You mindlessly grabbed one from the big fridge then walk towards the counter. Your eyes settles to the cashier boy that focuses on scanning your order as the familiar beep sound errupts from it.

“That’ll be 2000 won.” he mumbled softly. Your eyes are glued to him for some reason.

“Miss?” he calls you again that snapped you back to reality. It somehow made you feel shy for spacing out.

“U-Uh, yeah. I’m sorry.” you lowered your gaze to fish something from your wallet. As you grab your money, you kind of felt off.

“Here.” you placed the correct amount of payment and watch as how he slid the drink near you.

His fair complexion grabs your attention and it made you tilt your head to the side. You’ve been in this convenience store a lot and not once have you seen this person yet. Well, you can’t really tell who it was since he’s wearing a cap and mask. But his built and all is very unfamiliar, far from the people who you saw working here.

In the end, you realized that maybe the fact that you’ll be doing something illegal tonight makes you overthink alot. It makes you overanalyze everything. So you disregarded all those thoughts and just go to where you need to be.

Just like how you planned you waited patiently at the usual route Lee Heeseung takes whenever he has practice. Just near a vending machine, you crouched to hide yourself from his sight.

Exactly how you expects him to arrive, he did. There he is. Wearing a plain white t-shirt and his sweats while his big duffel bag hangs loosely over his body. Both of his hands are inside his pocket.

His tall figure kind of intimidates you, but there’s no chance of backing out at the moment. It’s better to take action right away.

When you’re about to walk towards him, he stops that made you stoned to your position. You carefully watch his movements and somehow expects him to turn around.

He didn’t. Instead, he started rummaging over his bag making him totally unaware of his surroundings. He’s so busy looking for whatever that thing he’s trying to get inside his bag. You silently cheered and advances near him to execute your plan.

A few steps away from him and you can already smell his addicting manly scent. Once you’re near enough, you stood behind and placed one of your hand at his shoulder. Your other hand holding the knife points over to his side, making sure it won’t hurt or bruise him.

“Don’t move.” you tried to hard to sound so intimidating.

You felt Heeseung tensing up and stiffened in front of you. His tall figure almost covers you from the view of people in front him. He didn’t said anything right away.

“What the...” he mumbles.

You take a deep breath. “Don’t even think of doing something funny.” you threatened again, pressing the knife more. Just so he can feel it and be scared of it. His head craned to the side so you know he’s now aware of the weapon you have.

“What do you need? Money? I can give you all of mine.” he casually said. He doesn’t even sound scared. You gulped, nervous now.

“I d-don’t need your money!”

He turned his head and was about to face you, but you pushed him over the shoulder to prevent it. He sighed and tilt his head. His large figre in front of you makes you feel dizzy.

“Start walking! Do as I say or I will seriously burry this knife on your side.”

He was silent for a while, unresponsive. You’re already worrying that he’s about to fight back, but thankfully he started walking towards the direction you’re guiding him.

“Where?” he asks, still sounding calm.

“To that building.” you said seriously and started guiding him inside.

The guard on patrol are probably out on a break so he's not on his usual spot by the entrance of the apartment building. Heeseung stayed silent until you reached the elevator.

You stretched your arm to press the floor button and met eyes with him through his reflection on the elevator doors. It made your heart race insanely fast. You kept your composure and went back on standing behind him, knife pressed on his side.

His eyes looked blank while staring silently at you. It made you shiver, but there’s no backing out anymore. If you showed him that you’re scared it will backfire on you.

“You know you’ll get arrested for this, right?” he asks calmly.

You know that very well. But you alreay lost your mind for him. Obsession sure is a dangerous thing, toxicating.

You ignored what he said and pushed his back so he can start walking again once you arrived at your floor. Since its already pretty late, the hallway was empty as expected so it was easier for you.

“Don’t make a sound.” you reminded him, knife still pressed at his side while you hold his one arm.

“What? Do you think I will scream like a fucking pussy?” his tone was full of sarcasm that completely caught you off-guard.

You’ve always know that he is confident and brave. But how come he can still be this arrogant despite a knife being pressed over him? Is he really this fearless? Or maybe he just don’t take you seriously.

“Watch your tone.” you hissed at him.

He craned his neck at the side and stared down at you. It was cold and blank. You shivered once again, but you kept a glare on him.

“Punch my code in.” and you started to dictate your pincode for him.

He surprisingly obliged without giving you a hard time and noticed how natural he looked pressing those numbers in. The door made a sound and you kicked it open before pushing him once again.

He didn’t say anything and just struts inside. His head moves side to side, scanning the whole room. You felt your cheeks flushing by realizing that Lee Heeseung is inside. Just by standing behind him and watching him awkwardly standing in the middle of your small living room, makes you realize that he look out of place because he’s so big.

Your apartment never look so small before.

“Sit down at the couch.” you ordered after snapping out of your trance.

He turned around to face you and cooly slid his hands back inside his pockets. He stared at you with his intense blank eyes.

“I said sit down!” you shouted, feeling worried that he will really fight back already.

To your surprise, Heeseung obliged with no complain. He sat down, occupying a large space to your almost worn out sofa. He stared at you, still with no words coming out from his sexy lips.

You started walking closer, his eyes following your movements. You gulped and pursed your lips before grabbing the handkerchief that has a chloroform. His eyes darted at it but remained silent.

“You won’t be hurt as long as you behave yourself.” you mumble and walked closer to him.

His head tilts to the side, the side of his lips lifts. “You have the guts.” he whispered but enough for you to hear.

You gulped and acted quickly pushed forward and covering his mouth and nose with the handkerchief. His hand reaches out for you and it felt so warm over your skin. He was trying to resist but you pour everything to keep him in place.

After a while, his movements became weak and his eyes started batting slowly. You cheer inwardly and smiles when he finally fall over to the sofa, unconscious.

You heaved a heavy sigh watching him knocked out. Slowly standing up and staring down at his sleeping state, a victory smile spreads across your face. Both of your hands raises up.

“It actually works!” you cheered, very cheeky.

You leaned closer and softly poked his cheeks to check if he's awake. When he’s not responding, you quickly grabbed the rope and tape you bought. Carefully you tied him up, making sure it won’t him too much.

After making sure he’s all secured, a big smile makes it way to your lips once again. You leaned towards him and can hear his calm breathing.

You chest thumped loudly and you can feel your whole system almost comvulsing in so much thrill. You can feel your throat drying up just by staring at his pretty face. Not once did you imagine being this close to him. Dreams do really come true.

When your finger touches his soft face, you retrieve it like as if you got burn by it. You bit your lower lip trying to suppress the big, crazy grin on your face.

“You’re really here with me.” you utter and giggled as you stood up.

Deciding to kill some time to wait for him to wake up again, you went to get your favorite drink so you can drink it. It’s a pre-celebration for actually executing your plan.

You have a big smile on your face as you drink from it. After that, you sat at the other sofa and opened the television to entertain yourself. You glanced over to Heeseung and giggled once again, seeing him sleeping cutely.

While watching this show, you can feel your eyes losing focus, your lids feeling heavier. You’re starting to doze off. Suddenly you feel so sleepy, but its different. Like it feels heavier, your body weighing tons.

As you slowly falls back to the couch, dozing off, before your eyes fully close you can see a shadow from the corner of the room. You don’t know if its just your hallucination or what, but you have no time to confirm since your eyes fully closed.

A figure slowly loomes closer to Heeseung’s body at the coach. His arm stretches with a knife and then he freed his arm and legs from the ropes you just tied him with. Heeseung’s eyes cracks open and it quickly darted at your direction.

“How long will she be out?” He asks his friend after he took off the tape on his mouth.

“If Sunoo did inject the right dosage I told him, two to three hours.” Jake informs him and even glanced at the drink they just spiked.

Their head snaps at the door when it opened revealing Sunoo with Jungwon. Sunoo’s still on his uniform from the convenience store and Jungwon with his hoodie and sweatpants. Their brows furrowed hardly.

“How is he awake?” Sunoo wonders, referring to their friend.

Heeseung teared his eyes from them and struts closer to your position.

“He just pretended to pass out.” Jungwon concluded, putting two and two together. Sunoo nods and roams his eyes around the place.

Sunghoon, Jay and Ni-ki finally arrives and they’re all wearing their hoodies and sweatpants. Some of them wears caps.

“Did you handle the apartment manager?” Jake asks.

Jay nods his head, smirking. “That sum of money is enough for him to shut his mouth. Nobody will know we’ve been here.”

“I also made sure no one’s around the neighborhood saw.” Ni-ki mumbles while eyeing his eldest hyung crouching in front of your unconscious body. His hand carefully stretches to reach for you, gently brushing some hair away from your face.

“Irish won’t say a thing too. I returned her card pass for this building.” Sunghoon says and tilts his head. “What did you even do to her, hyung? You scared the shit out of her.” he chuckles lightly and roams around your small apartment.

“You don’t want to know.” Jake smirks and glanced at his hyung.

Heeseung is silent while staring at your unconscious body. A small evil smile spreads across his face before he slid his arms to carry you.

“You’re going to keep her here?” Jungwon asks then he knocks on the wall. “The wall’s too thin.”

Heeseung shakes his head side to side.

“I’m taking her home with me.” he heaved a sigh, calming himself down.

“I’m finally taking you home with me, baby.” he whispers down at your sleeping body.

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@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @ayayiiie @aeyeree @heeseung-min @in-somnias-world @psh-pjh @hveanlyanqelic

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #eeunoiaverse #eeunoia #eeunoiawrites #enhypen lee heeseung #enhypen heeseung imagine #yandere enhypen #enhypen heeseung yandere #enhypen heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung imagines #enhypen heeseung

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sweetkpopmusings · 4 months ago

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stray kids as love letter confessions <3

a/n: i said that a quote about love was hyunjin-coded and got the urge to write out how stray kids would confess their love. this is short and sweet, but let me know if you want something more! pics not mine <3

content: fluff, romance | wc: 0.6k | warnings: none really! | pairing: stray kids x gn!reader | requests: open

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

chan♡‧₊˚

for the longest time, i felt like i needed to stay busy. i was always running toward something, chasing after the next achievement, creating goal after goal, searching for fulfillment. when i met you, it was like i took a deep breath for the first time. you are my sense of peace. you are my place of rest, my solace, my comfort. i can never say thank you enough. please let me be the one to help you breathe easy. i love you.

minho♡‧₊˚

there are so many different ways to say it, and the simplest version is that i care about you. anything i can do to ensure you are cared for is something i’ll do with great pride. i’ll always peel fruit for you, lend you my coat on the coldest days, offer you a safe place from the rest of the world, and be there whenever and wherever you need me. i’m sorry i can’t think of anything original to say on the matter, but i’ll keep trying. i’ll always care for you, my dear, because i love you.

changbin♡‧₊˚

when i look at you, i realize that all that i have was lacking something important before. my life is rich, and i am so grateful, but everything became more meaningful after you became a part of my life. you are critical to everything i have because it is worth so much more now that i can share it with the person that matters the most to me. you have all of me. i love you more than anything and everything.

hyunjin♡‧₊˚

you captivate me. even if i attempted to create something new every day for the rest of my life, i don’t think i could find the words or images powerful enough to portray the way you have enchanted me. you changed how i see the world, how i experience life, for the better. i’ll never stop trying to explain the magnitude of what you make me feel because i love you, endlessly.

jisung♡‧₊˚

knowing you, i finally understand what soulmates are. only something as magical as fate can explain our connection. whether we’re tied by a red thread or written in the stars, i truly believe we are meant to be. it is an unbelievable honor to have you in my life, and it is even more of a gift to be a part of yours. you inspire me. you ground me. i promise that i’ll choose you again and again and again. thank you for finding me. i love you.

felix♡‧₊˚

you are the brightest star in my eyes. when people call me “sunshine,” i think of you, because i have become warmer after basking in your light. thank you for shining in your own way. thank you for teaching me true happiness. i promise to be the best i can be, if only to see your radiant smile shine even brighter. you make everything around you glow. i love you, my star.

seungmin♡‧₊˚

you are better than a dream come true. knowing you surpasses anything i could have imagined, and yet you are real, right here with me. what a surprise, what a delight it is to be with you! every love song must have been written about you, for i cannot think of anyone more deserving of such beautiful, tender love. you have my heart. i love you.

jeongin♡‧₊˚

i can’t say i’m good at expressing all of this, so i’ll state the obvious: i love you. my life is sweeter with you in it. the good times are more enjoyable, and the difficult times are easier to withstand, all because you are with me. as long as you let me, i will be by your side. i promise to always be there because you make me feel as though i'll never be alone again. thank you for everything. i love you.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

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connorsui · 2 months ago

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Gojo Satoru x fem! Reader || Imagine ||

"He's not that bad!"

♡♡ The room was filled with a sort of palpable tension,

one that made your skin prickle under the weight of Utahime’s burning gaze. Her brown eyes, usually reserved and steady, were now wide with a mix of disbelief and disgust as they bore down on you. It was almost enough to make you want to shrink back and disappear entirely, though you held your ground as best as you could.

“You cannot be serious,” Utahime’s voice was low, cold, and full of judgment. She continued to stare down at you, her disbelief practically radiating from her.

Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat resounding in your ears as you averted your eyes, unwilling to meet her gaze. How did it come to this? You thought telling your friends about your feelings for Satoru would be an awkward conversation at best, but you hadn’t expected this level of intensity. You fiddled with your fingers, unsure of how to respond.

The silence stretched painfully between you all, until Utahime suddenly backed up, her expression shifting from disbelief to genuine shock. “Oh my god, you’re being serious…” Her voice wavered with disbelief before she exclaimed, “Out of all people, you choose him?!”

Mei Mei, lounging casually nearby with an ever-present air of calm superiority, let a small smile curl at her lips. “Utahime, lower your voice,” she chided softly, her voice smooth and cool as always. “At this point, he’s going to hear you.” She then turned her gaze to you, her smile fading into a frown. “Though, I must admit, (Y/N)… when we asked who was the man keeping you up at night, we didn’t mean for you to choose the most mundane and idiotic out of the bunch.”

You frowned at her words, heat rising to your cheeks in a mix of embarrassment and mild frustration. “Oh c’mon, he's not that bad!” you tried to explain, but even you could hear the defensiveness in your tone. “I actually think he's pretty cute…”

Utahime visibly recoiled, her expression a perfect display of disgust. If she could have physically vomited in the corner, you were sure she would have. “But really!? I would be fine if you chose Nanami or even Haibara! Hell, I’d be fine if you dated an ugly curse rather than him!”

You pouted at Utahime's dramatic reaction, but before she could say anything, you continued.

“You’re talking about him like he’s some annoying, egotistical guy,” you mumbled, trying to find some kind of defense. Satoru had his faults, sure, but he wasn’t that bad… right?

At that, both Mei Mei and Utahime responded in unison. “That’s because he is.”

Utahime shook her head. “He’s stupid.”

Mei Mei added, “You’re far better than him.”

“He thinks he’s superior to everyone,” Utahime went on.

“And he’s definitely not worth it,” they both chimed in again, their synchronized complaints making you feel small and foolish.

You opened your mouth to protest to defend Satoru in some way, but you hesitated. They were your friends, and in their eyes, you were making a huge mistake. But they didn’t see what you saw. They didn’t see the moments when his guard came down, the subtle ways he showed he cared.

Before you could muster the courage to respond, a familiar voice broke through the tension.

“Heyyyy laaadiesss, guess who’s baaack,” Satoru called out as he sauntered into the room, his hands casually stuffed into his pockets, a smirk plastered across his face.

Beside him, Geto walked in with a much calmer demeanor, giving you all a casual nod in greeting.

Utahime’s eyes narrowed immediately at the sight of Gojo, and Mei Mei raised an eyebrow, her expression unchanging. You, however, felt your heart flutter involuntarily. Despite everything, despite all the complaints and warnings, the sight of him still made your pulse race.

Satoru’s cerulean eyes flicked to you, and his smirk widened. “Did we miss something? You all look like you’ve been talking about us,” he teased, his tone light and carefree as always.

Utahime rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, clearly annoyed by his mere presence. “Unfortunately, yes.”

Geto chuckled softly, clearly amused by the situation, though he stayed out of it, leaning against the wall and watching the scene unfold.

Satoru didn’t seem fazed by Utahime’s hostility, his attention drifting back to you. His smirk softened, just slightly, into something more genuine as he tilted his head. “You weren’t talking bad about meee though riiiight?” he asked, the playful glint in his eyes making your heart skip a beat.

You blushed, unable to stop yourself. “Of course not,” you muttered, trying to avoid his gaze.

Mei Mei’s frown deepened as she glanced between the two of you. “Oh dear, she’s hopeless,” she said with a resigned sigh. “She’s actually smitten.”

Satoru, ever perceptive despite his airheaded persona, raised an eyebrow at Mei Mei’s comment, but his focus quickly returned to you. “Smitten, huh?” he mused, his grin turning more mischievous by the second. “Well, who can blame you?”

Utahime groaned audibly, pinching the bridge of her nose as if this conversation was physically painful for her.

You shot Satoru a glare, but it was half-hearted. His cocky attitude always grated on your nerves, but it was also part of what drew you to him. That, and the moments when he let the façade slip. You saw the way he cared, even if he was a pain in the ass about it.

“Toru,” you sighed, exasperated but fond. “Stop making it worse.”

He laughed, carefree and utterly unbothered, as he stepped closer to you. “Worse? I’m making it better. Admit it, (Y/N), you can’t resist me.”

As much as you hated to admit it, part of you knew he was right.

I had this one in the back burner for a while oops-

#suiwrites🍒#jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #satoru x reader #satoru x you #satoru x y/n #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n

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elllisaaa · 3 months ago

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how xdh would confess to you

-> words count : 3.3k words

-> genre : xdh members crushing on you, fluff

-> warnings : is extremely cute

-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | xdh masterlist

GOO GUNIL - MUSICAL

i think that he would be friendly with you from the get-go, always making sure that you feel included in the group conversation.

other than that, i see him as someone who’s very in touch with his own emotions and feelings so he would definitely be quick to notice that he has a crush on you.

but even if he’s aware of that and that it’s pretty obvious from the way he looks at you, he doesn’t want to confess.

even if he acts confident in front of you, a part of him is still anxious about being rejected.

poor baby cannot help but overthink everyone of his interactions with you, thinking that he’s cringe and awkward - which is untrue because you just think he’s so cool.

when you told him that you’d always wanted to learn how to play the drums, he nonchalantly proposed to teach you the basics.

but gunil hadn’t realized that it would mean spending a lot of time alone with you, and he couldn’t help his heart from beating faster each time he was too close to you, or that you’d look at him with a proud smile on your face because you succeeded in doing what you had just learned.

“- Did I do it right this time ?”

Gunil was so focused on not cooing at you from how cute your concentrated face was while playing on his drums, with his sticks, that he only snapped out of his haze when he heard your voice.

“- Uh, yeah, pretty much. But for this part, you should do it more like this. Here, let me show you.”

He got closer to you, his back pressed against your back as he grabbed your hands over the sticks so he could demonstrate exactly how the combo should be done. You could feel the heat of his body behind you, and his hot breath hitting the skin of your neck. You shivered and a blush started to creep up your cheeks - even your ears were red, you could feel it. Your mind drifted away from the drums, only focusing on Gunil and how he was driving you mad.

“- Y/N ? Are you alright ?”

It was your turn to be snapped out from your thoughts, quickly turning your head in his direction, only for your gaze to fall into his, his face much closer to yours than you thought. You tried to open your mouth and say something, anything to explain why you were distracted and that wasn’t the truth. But Gunil didn’t let you have any chance as he leaned in to lightly kiss you, his hands still holding yours. Your eyes widened in surprise and you let out a gasp as he pulled away.

“- I…”

Your voice was shaking, and noticing your shocked expression, Gunil cringed at himself. He let go of your hands, burying his face in his palms to shake off the embarrassment. What was he thinking when kissing you just like that ? He was an idiot.

“- Listen, I’m sorry, I don’t even know what took over me, but I’m sorry. I won’t talk about it ever again, we can forget all about it, I’m s-”

This time, it was Gunil who let out a gasp when he felt your lips crashing against his instead. He barely registered the sound of his drumsticks hitting the floor as he got lost in your taste. And this time, when you pulled away, he had a big smile on his face.

“- Took you long enough.”

“not gonna take me long to take you on a date now, baby.”

KIM JUNGSU - CHARMING

do i really need to explain that he’s the most gentleman to ever exist ?

like he’s so caring and sweet towards anyone, it makes me tear up.

so you can bet that with you - his crush - he’s even more observant and warmhearted and it feels good to have someone watching over you that much

the type to send you little texts to remind you to eat or drink water when you’re studying hard or working a long shift.

also the type to put his hands around the corner of things when you bend down so you won’t hurt yourself (i’m crying i need him so bad).

his hugs !!! oh my god i just know that he gives the best hugs ever and that he loves to engulf you in his embrace every time he sees you to say hi.

so like the gentleman he is, his confession would be so fucking romantic (i’m crying again).

he would ask you out to dinner, bringing you to a fancy place where he would’ve reserved the best table for the two of you.

praising you the whole fucking night honestly he just fell in love even more seing you in your pretty outfit, and knowing that you made so much efforts for him is making him weak in the knees.

“- Thank you so much for tonight, Jungsu. I really had a great time.”

You walked as slowly as possible, even if the night was cold and that you could still feel the chilly air despite Jungsu’s jacket sitting on your shoulders since the moment he saw you shivering. You didn’t want the night to end, nor did Jungsu. He wished he could’ve spent the rest of his life by your side, simply admiring you. Both of you had big smiles aborning your faces, hands brushing against each other without any of you daring to take it.

“- It was amazing, yeah. I should be the one thanking you for agreeing to go out with me.”

You chuckled cutely, a pretty blush spreading across your cheeks, and Jungsu couldn’t help staring at you like he did all night.

“- If I can be honest, I’m glad you made the first move because I was too anxious to do it myself.

- Then I’m glad to have man up for once.”

Both of you laughed together, and disappointment filled you up when you noticed that you were now in front of your building, and that the night would’ve to end eventually. You stood in front of Jungsu, finally finding the courage to grab his hands in yours as your eyes dived into his sparkling gaze.

“- I know I’ve said it a million times now, but thank you for tonight. And I think I really wouldn’t mind going out with you again.

- I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

Jungsu grinned at you, and the urge to kiss your lips overtook him. But it was only your first date, he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. So he simply squeezed your hand in his one last time, wished you good night, and turned away. He wanted to slap himself for being such a coward. He had only took three or four steps in the direction of his car before he said “fuck it” and got back to you.

“- Jungsu ? What are yo-”

You were interrupted by his lips capturing yours, his hands cupping your face. You closed your eyes as you melted under his touch, your hands going up to wrap around his neck and kissing him back. Soon enough, it was impossible to keep on going because you both were smiling too much. Jungsu pulled away, his forehead resting against yours and pushing a stray hair behind your ear.

“- I’ve waited all night for you to do this.”

“if i had known that, i would’ve kissed my girlfriend sooner.”

KWAK JISEOK - CHILDISH

he’s truly so fun to be around, a day with him is never boring.

you like to pretend like he’s not that funny, but he is, and he makes you laugh all the time.

you know that when you have a bad day, you only need to spend some time with jiseok and that he will cheer you up without even trying because his mere presence just makes you feel better.

he’s so comfortable to be around, it’s like you had known him for years.

jiseok is also very playful too, he loves to tease and especially you.

that’s how the members know he has a crush on you ; because he’s constantly bugging you, trying to get your attention.

whenever you walk in a room, his eyes suddenly illuminate, and whenever you walk away or talk to somebody else, he looks like a lost puppy (i’m dying, he’s too cute).

he thinks he’s slick, but he’s really not - the way he’s always trying to rizz you up kinda gives it away.

he pretends it’s only for fun and giggles, but truly, he hopes that one day you’ll catch on because he wants to go out with you.

“- Hey Y/N !”

You sighed and rolled your eyes as Jiseok put his arm around your shoulders, a smirk already stretching out his lips. You already knew what he was going to do, he always did whenever he saw you. And you acted annoyed every time even if you lowkey liked the attention, even if it didn’t bother you that much.

“- What do you want this time, Jiseok ?

- Just wanted to ask you something.”

You could feel the pick up line coming, you knew him all too well by now.

“- Go on.

- Do you believe in love at first sight ? Or should I walk by again ?”

The proud grin on his face didn’t flatter, even as you groaned in annoyance. Jiseok wouldn’t let your lack of positive reactions discourage him. He didn’t have the balls to tell you all about what he was feeling straight up, and the only way he knew to confess was by telling all these stupid pick up lines. If only he wasn’t such a loser, he could’ve asked you out, tell you he liked you. But everytime he looked at you for too long, his hands were shaking and it was as if he couldn’t even talk properly anymore, and he chickened out everytime.

“- I don’t think it’s gonna be necessary, I’m already in love.”

Jiseok was ready to manage another rejection but hearing you flirt back left him speechless. He opened his mouth and closed it without letting out any words a few times, his cheeks progressively growing more and more red. You chuckled at his lack of reaction, finding him even more cute like that.

“- Cat got your tongue now ? Come on ! You’ve been flirting with me for months and now that I’m finally saying yes you’re getting shy ?

- You just catched me off guard, that’s all !”

It was your turn to grin proudly as Jiseok buried his blushing face into your shoulder. He was so fucking embarassed, but he couldn’t help the smile stretching out his lips.

“does this mean i can finally take you out ?”

OH SEUNGMIN - JOKING

he’s a menace, always up to tease you with a pretty smirk on his face.

but he’s also very sweet because he has a soft spot for you, it’s honestly pathetic from his members point of view how down bad he is for you.

seungmin is constantly praising you, even for the tiniest things : you did good at your exams = praises ; or you cooked something new and it was tasty = praises.

he’s also always complimenting you, be it your outfits, your hair or makeup ; you can bet that he will tell you you’re pretty as soon as he sees you.

he’s a little playful with it, calling you darling just to see the blush spread on your cheeks.

however, he’s not immune to the effect you have on him either, and he doesn’t really try to hide it.

you could only be smiling at him, or passionately talking about something you liked and he’s grinning like a lovestruck fool because he thinks you’re so amazing.

even if sometimes you feel like you can be annoying or boring, seungmin always makes sure to remind you that he’s there to listen to you, that he’s interested.

despite that, he would not confess first because you already know how infatuated he is with you, he wants you to make the first move.

“- Seungmin ! It’s not funny, I need to study ! Give me my book !”

The boy chuckled as he held out your book higher, clearly out of your reach. He wasn’t doing this to be mean, obviously. You just looked so cute with the pout aborning your lips, and the way you jumped to try and get your belongings back was also too adorable for him to give up just now.

“- You don’t need to study, darling, you’re already smart.”

You wanted to stay mad at him but his praises made you flustered once again, still not used to the way he was always adoring you. But you really needed to work on this, because you didn’t want to fail your classes, obviously.

“- It’s not a good reason, give it back !

- Only if you give me a kiss.”

Seungmin was visibly very satisfied with what he came up with, his smirk widening as your pout intensified. He didn’t believe that you would be bold enough to do it, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Little did he know you had enough of his games. You were already smitten by him, he didn’t need to aggravate that by flirting with you every chance he got.

“- Okay, if that’s what it takes.”

You stood on your tippy toes to reach his lips, lightly kissing him as you closed your eyes. Seungmin didn’t even have the time to register what was happening before he let go of your book, his now free hands coming down to hold your waist and kiss you again. When you pulled away, surprise was still visible in his eyes, and it was your turn to chuckle.

“- For once, you’re the one blushing.”

“not for long, darling. it’s my duty as your boyfriend, after all.”

HAN HYEONGJUN - SHY

my favourite boy ! he’s so cute i think he’s gonna kill me one day, i swear.

when gunil first introduced you to the guys, hyeongjun was very quiet and didn’t talk to you much.

it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was only that you were so amazing that he didn’t know how to approach you.

so you’ll have to make the first move to engage in conversation with him, but despite him being a little shy at first, you discover that he’s sweet and passionate, and that you love him very much.

and hyeongjun loves you very much too, so much that it’s painfully obvious for everyone else to watch.

so much that his members started to tease him about his crush on you, even if you’re there. hyeongjun denies and denies all the time, especially since you’re joking about it too and that he’s convinced it’s because you’re not interested in him.

despite that, you seem to really enjoy your time with him as you’re always seeking his answers in group talking, or waiting to spend time alone with him.

“- Hey, Hyeongjun ! Look who’s coming !”

Hyeongjun turned around and discovered that you were the one Jiseok was talking about. His friend had a big grin on his face as he witnessed Hyeongjun cheeks’ growing red as you entered their dorm. Sometimes, he hated his band members for being able to read into him that easily.

“- Hi guys ! How are you ?

- Well, Hyeongjun is always well when you’re here, Y/N.”

Yes, he definitely hated Jiseok, he would have to sleep with one eye open that night. He glared at his friend coldly, but you only giggled and teased him further. It hurt a little sometimes to have you laughing at his crush like that, even if he always said it wasn’t true, he wished it would be.

“- Do you need help ?”

Hyeongjun was straddled by your voice as you came into the kitchen where he was finishing up cooking for everyone. He told you what you could do to help him and he tried to stop his hands from shaking and kept a casual conversation with you.

“- The boys seem really adamant about your crush, they love to tease you about it.”

You weren’t looking at him when you said that but you had a little grin on your lips. Hyeongjun stared at you for a few seconds, trying to decide if he should say something now or not, but his heart took the decision for him before his brain could think about it further.

“- Would it be so bad if I really had a crush on you ?”

You snapped your head up to look at him, but he couldn’t hold your gaze for long, his cheeks heating up again the longer he felt your eyes on him. Your eyes were sparkling with joy, your smile eating your face as you watched him nervously run his hand through his long hair. You stopped him from biting his nail when you carefully grabbed his hand, his eyes finally falling into yours.

“- Well, since I have a crush on you too, I don’t think it would be a problem.”

“i’m gonna be the one to tease them now because i have the prettiest girlfriend in the world.”

LEE JOOYEON - SILLY

he has such a good vibe, i feel like you can only smile and be happy when you’re with him.

he’s the type of friend you can do stupid things with and he isn’t gonna judge you because he does stupid things too.

he could be considered childish at times, but you love it because you can do everything you want with him and he makes you laugh so much.

definitely the first one you come to whenever you feel down, and he’s extremely grateful that you’re this comfortable with him.

i think he would be very touchy with you, he always wants to hug you or cuddle when you’re both watching a movie.

his other way to hint that he has a crush on you is by flirting every so often, with this cheeky smile of his (screaming).

so when a game night gives him the perfect occasion to make a move, jooyeon is gonna take it.

“- Okay so your task is to propose to someone !”

Jooyeon immediately locked eyes with you upon hearing his dare. It was finally his chance to tell you how he had been feeling for some time now. You grinned at him like you did every time you knew he was going to do something a little stupid. Jooyeon got down on one knee in front of you, grabbing one of your hands in his and looking you in the eyes.

“- Y/N, will you make me the happiest man alive and be my wife ?”

If you hadn’t known him for years, you would’ve thought that he was serious. The way Jooyeon seemed to really be waiting for an answer made your breath hitch in your throat, your heart beat faster and butterflies come alive in your stomach.

“- I guess I don’t have a choice.”

Everyone around you was whistling and screaming “kiss”. And honestly, you wanted to do it. You wanted to reach forward and kiss Jooyeon. You searched for a response in his eyes, but all you could see was adoration. So you didn’t think further and you cupped his face to peck his lips. This time, it was his breath that was knocked out of his lungs, his brain unable to process what had just happened. And as all your friends cheered, the world around you dissolved, tunnel vision to Jooyeon’s face that you were still holding gently.

“- You know… I wouldn’t mind becoming your wife for real.”

That big smile you loved so much took over his features, making it hard for him to kiss you again, and again, and again. You were giggling the whole time, letting Jooyeon hold you in his arms and twirl you around as if you really were a newly married couple.

“it’s too soon for now, but one day i’ll do it. one day i’m gonna marry you, baby.”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

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