#WICKED BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN

[emilyjunk]

Had the most fun watching wicked that I have ever had watching a movie in my entire life ????? I will never doubt John Chu again I'm so sorry king

[nikibogwater]

Actually while I'm thinking about it, I just wanna say that the more live-action remakes Disney shlups out like shoveled manure, the more amazed I am that Cinderella (2015) exists. It breaks literally every standard of Disney's LA remakes.

It's not a shot-for-shot remake of the original 1950 animated film, though it does include small references and homages to it, but only when such things can be incorporated organically into the story.

The creators understood and respected the cross-cultural significance of the Cinderella story. They didn't want to "fix" it, or add some wacky twist to it, they just wanted to make the best possible version of the Quintessential Cinderella that they could.

Everything that could be done practically was done practically. The carriage was a real, the horses pulling it were real, and all of the other animals (with the exception of the mice and lizards, since their performance was a lot more involved than the others') were real living animals, the lizard footman and goose carriage driver were wearing prosthetics instead of just having their animal features added in post, the Fairy Godmother's dress had little LED lights sewn into it so that it would actually glow for real, the ballroom set was built by hand and included real chandeliers with more than 2000 total candles that were all actually lit for the scene, and I could go on but you get the point.

There's a ton of attention paid to little details that make the world feel real and lived in. Ella's shoes are always a little scuffed and dirty. Her farm dress is faded and wrinkled. When she breaks down and runs away to the woods, she rides her horse bareback (which, once again, was a thing Lily James actually did, no stunt-double or editing in post), because not only is that something a country girl like her would know how to do, but it also makes sense that with as upset as she is, she wouldn't want to waste time with saddling the horse. When she's dancing with the prince, it's visually obvious that he is leading her and giving her cues because of course Ella wouldn't know the latest ballroom dances, and would need him to guide her through it.

Hey speaking of dancing, y'know what else this movie does that no other LA remake has been allowed to do (at least not to this extent)? ROMANCE. Land sakes alive, this is one of the most unabashedly and yet still tastefully romantic movies I've ever seen. Ella and Kit are just oozing romantic chemistry from the moment they lock eyes for the first time. It all comes down to the fact that these two characters both have the same core values of courage and kindness, which makes their admiration for each other feel grounded and believable. Richard Madden also really sells Kit's feelings for Ella with the way his eyes go all big and soft whenever he looks at her. And don't even get me started on Lily's performance as Ella. Her quiet awe that someone as powerful as the prince loves her. The timidity and fear that she's not really worthy of that. The selfless determination to protect him from her family's cruelty, even if it means she'll never see him again, I'm just-- *banging my fist against the table and screaming into a pillow*

Absolutely god-tier costume design. No notes, I think Sandy Powell's work speaks for itself. Btw, in case you were somehow still wondering, yes, Ella's ballgown is fully practical--those layers upon layers of dreamy silk skirts are real. CG was only used to brighten up the blue color to make her stand out from the crowd more.

Wicked stepmother was allowed to actually be wicked. The movie never tries to make you sympathize with Lady Tremaine, or shift the blame off to someone else. And her villainy is given an extra layer of depth with the reveal that she is a dark reflection of Ella. They've both lost people they loved, but where Ella refused to let her grief get in the way of kindness, Lady Tremaine became utterly consumed by it. She views the death of her first husband as a sort of twisted justification for pursuing all her worst impulses. She despises Ella for her ability to flourish even while enduring terrible suffering, for being everything Lady Tremaine was either unable or flat-out refused to be.

Also Cate Blanchet absolutely SLAYS in this role. Hands-down my favorite portrayal of the wicked stepmother character.

Anyways, TLDR: Cinderella (2015) is the only Disney live-action remake that can justify its own existence and that's because it actively defies everything the LA remakes are today.

[paarksunghoon]

what about childhood best friend hoon who has always seen you as the sweet and innocent kind until he accidentally stumbles upon your dirty mind and fantasies

this just did something to me

***

“What the fuck?!”

“Sunghoon!” your cheeks and neck feel like they’ve been set on fire. You mumble a quick apology and goodbye into your phone and end the call. “What the hell are you doing in my apartment?”

“Your mom said you’d be home and I just got back into town.” He looks at you, frowning.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sunghoon steps through the threshold of your bedroom wearing a black muscle tank and sweatpants. It’s a bit unfair how beautiful your best friend is with perfect biceps and an abdomen that can be seen through the fabric of his tank top. Sunghoon doesn’t have to try that hard and people will still fawn over him.

He looks at you like he’s seen a ghost. You see his duffle bag still in his hand but his grip seems to loosen the longer he looks at you. Sunghoon gulps and hesitantly takes a step inside of your room.

“You…I overheard you talking.”

“Why did you talk to my mom before coming come?” You ask, deflecting Sunghoon’s words in an attempt to pretend he heard nothing. “Did you drive home from school? Why is my apartment the first place you go to instead of your parents’ house?”

“Y/N.” Sunghoon’s throat feels a little too dry.

“You’re awful for not texting me before coming over.” He watches you turn around and put your phone on your table. “Anyway, how was your drive?”

Sunghoon drops his duffle bag. “I thought you were a virgin.”

You sputter. “A-A virgin? Why in the world would you think that?”

A part of you already knows this answer. Unlike you, Sunghoon’s not afraid to talk to you about his sex life and started hooking up with girls the second he left for college. He told you he lost his virginity the second he got home and updates you every so often about his sexual escapades, though not in great detail. He doesn’t press on about your sex and you don’t make it a point to bring it up because you aren’t as shameless as him.

The two of you don’t really have the dynamic where talking about sex is on the table. Or rather, he’s more open to the idea and doesn’t pry any information out of you because you’d shot him down when he asked about your virginity before you had sex for the first time. Sunghoon, for the fear of making you uncomfortable and losing his best friend, kept his mouth shut and generally always thought of you as a pretty innocent person.

You get a bit warm in the face when a sex scene in a movie comes on or whenever he plays songs that have sexual undertones to them in his car. Sunghoon has always thought you were a bit on the innocent side and figures the farthest you’ve ever gone was kissing Lee Heeseung in the eleventh grade.

But right now, his perception of you is distorted. Upon coming over after your mother told him where the spare key was, Sunghoon stood outside hoping to surprise you when he overhead you talking to your friend about a recent hookup.

“No amount of porn or book smut could really describe the feeling of a guy cumming inside of you. I had to practically beg him to take the condom off because he was worried it would be risky. But I’m on the pill so he agreed and fuck, it felt so good.”

He stands there, dumbfounded by the revaluation but can’t stop picturing you with your legs spread open for him on the bed next to you like he has for the past few weeks. Sunghoon’s face is red, no doubt.

“You’re looking at me funny.”

He whips his head to look at you. “I’m not acting funny. You’re acting funny.” Sunghoon watches you scoff and get up from your desk.

“I don’t know why you’re surprised that I fuck, Hoon.”

He sputters. “I don’t think about it.” That’s a lie.

“You don’t have to.” You shrug it off like it’s no big deal. “Do you use condoms?” Sunghoon chokes.

“No.”

Your wicked grin makes his cock jump.

“Me either.”

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! xx

[btsgotjams27]

things you don't know | jjk

summary: it’s been seven years since you last saw the boy that broke your heart. after moving back home, you try everything you can to avoid seeing him around town, but destiny has a wicked way of doing the opposite.

✨ title: things you don't know | one shot ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: M/17+ ✨ genre/au: angst | ex best friends!au | ✨ word count: 4.3k ✨ warnings: language, drinking, light kisses, miscommunication, reader jokes about unaliving her other best friend, mentions of throwing up ✨ prompt: “i thought i’d never see you again” ✨ a/n: heyoooo. so this is loosely based off a friendship i had in high school and in case you're wondering (irl) i haven't seen this man in over 17 years (oh gawd i'm old). anyway, thank you to @shina913 for being my beta.

✨ mini-series masterlist ✨

You were a fool to believe nothing could tear you and your best friend apart. Just like in the movies you'd watch for hours, you realized you were not the main character; he was. You were only part of the supporting cast, the best friend–not the one he wanted. Someone else had been occupying his mind, his thoughts, and you guessed you weren't privy to know all of him.

You wondered if you became the villain in his story. Were you the other woman? How could you have known if he never told you? He was your best friend. The one you shared everything with–your hopes, dreams, and even the dumbest little details of your life.

And maybe you expected too much. Maybe you had built a world of sunshine and rainbows and believed no storms could ever weather through. Maybe you cared too much, thinking he felt the same.

But at long last, you had become the girl jealous of Josie–the person who took away your best friend.

The city you lived in had grown vastly the last time you were here. Multiple lanes were added to the highways, and fields of land were cleared out for new homes, shops, and restaurants to try. Though the only thing on your mind was not bumping into him.

His was the only face you didn't want to run into in a city that felt familiar and unfamiliar. It felt silly. You're a grown woman with a car and an apartment–had bills to pay, and running into one person shouldn't haunt you as it did.

You might have done some detective work, going through old high school friends lists on Facebook and Instagram, lurking to see if he would show up. But as you suspected, he didn't exist on social media, so your chances of seeing him increased in your weird little mind.

The old hangout places were on your no-go list. Remember, you're trying to avoid him. He has not been on your mind every waking second, minute and hour. You weren't wondering how he was doing or if he was okay. He didn't deserve to occupy your mind, take all your energy.

But if you were to bump into him, you had a monologue ready to tell him how he had fucked up your mind, spiked all your insecurities, and hoped he and his stupid little girlfriend lived unhappily ever after. He deserved that, at least.

"Did you see Lillie's Instagram post? The one where a bunch of them were out celebrating Josie's birthday?" Lana asked, sipping on her iced vanilla latte. Lana was another high school best friend who didn't stomp all over your heart.

And regarding Lillie's post, it was hard not to see it when everyone you knew was tagged. Some things never change, you guessed. The same circle of friends, the same drama, the same gossip, but then again, you were sitting with one of your oldest friends.

"Yeah, I saw it."

And you also noticed how Jungkook wasn't in any photos. After doing your detective research and scouring through the internet. He was a ghost, not even showing up in tagged photos. You were hoping to get a glimpse of him in the background, but you hadn't seen a picture of him in years, so you had no idea if he had grown into that big 'ol nose of his or if he had gotten those piercings and tattoos he's always wanted. There was no trace of this man, not even in Josie's pictures.

Last you heard, they were still together, and you always rolled your eyes hard, remembering what Jeon Jungkook did to you. Didn't even have the fucking balls to say it to your face, but in a letter instead.

You suspected it was all Josie's fault. Probably afraid you'd steal him away, or he'd prefer to hang out with you. And you understood, he wasn't your boyfriend or anything, just a friend. Ex-best friend, that is. So you supposed any girl that did like Jungkook would be intimidated by your friendship.

"Have you seen Jungkook at all?"

Lana knew what went down–dropping you like a fly, like you didn't exist. She had teased you like a madwoman because you were crushing hard on his friend, Jimin, and somehow ended up befriending Jungkook.

"Nope," you said flatly.

"So, you know how we always talk about Jungkook being untraceable? I think I found him," she said, pulling out her phone.

Your jaw clenched before huffing out a breath. Lana liked to poke the bear when it came to Jungkook. You knew it wasn't intentional, and there was a part that held onto those painful memories because you weren't over what he did to you. Countless nights of questions and if you could've done anything to save your friendship. Wondering what you did wrong and why he picked Josie instead of you. You thought he had feelings and just didn’t want to act on it.

Lana slid the phone over, her two fingers zooming in on a brightened photo. "It's definitely Jungkook," she pointed to a figure in the background.

You narrowed your eyes as she moved the photo around. Your heart skipped a beat. You'd recognize that nose anywhere. It was him. He wasn't a ghost. There was actual evidence that he existed.

"I searched for more photos, but nothing else came up."

You chuckled. "Of course not. Jeon Jungkook doesn't exist on social media. It was never his thing anyway. It was always Josie who liked the attention."

"As a couple, they make no sense to me. What does he see in her anyway?" Lana pondered, sucking up the last of her latte.

Josie was popular and pretty and did every extracurricular activity known to man. Jungkook was quite the opposite: introverted, kept to himself, played games day and night, yet somehow they still ended up together.

"I don't know. Maybe she has a great personality or something," you answered.

She had everything and could’ve had anyone in the senior class, and something always bothered you about their relationship. You just couldn’t put your finger on it.

Lana could see your despair and decided to change the subject. "What are you doing tonight? Jimin is having a small party and was super excited when I told him you moved back."

You narrowed your eyes, your lips thinned. "What are we? In high school again?"

"Come on, babe. It'll be just like old times. I'll even pick you up. I know you hate driving."

It's only been a week since you've moved back. You didn't even know where all of your cute clothes were. "I have nothing to wear." It was the best excuse you could come up with at the moment.

"I got you. Don't worry about it!"

Fuck—you should've opted for a different excuse.

"I thought you said this was a small party," you said, wearing a dress that was barely covering your ass. You'd get Lana back for putting you in the tightest dress.

"Trust me, this is small." Lana hooked her arm with yours, dragging you to the kitchen, where Jimin poured several soju bottles and sodas into a pitcher. It was quite the concoction.

“How can he afford this place?” you whispered as you stared at the fancy marbled island and large commercial refrigerator.

Lana shrugged. “I don’t think he lives by himself. Probably has roommates or something.”

"Ladies! You're here!" Jimin squealed, setting down the soju bottle. He hugged Lana before greeting you warmly. "Oh—it's so good to see you!" He wrapped his arms around you, moving you from side to side, digging his chin into your shoulder.

"It's good to see you too, Jimin. You're, um, still quite the host." His parties were all the rage in high school, and now that you look back, you're unsure what you saw in Jimin. He was a good guy, a great dancer, but he partied too much for your taste. Maybe you were shallow and just liked him for his looks.

"I have a reputation to uphold." He wiggled his eyebrows, handing you a shot glass. "I call this little drink 'Soju Sunrise.'" He held his glass, waiting for you to clink it against his.

"Here goes nothing." The glasses clack together, and the mixed liquids go down your throat as smooth as silk. Surprisingly, the cocktail is rather tasty, and you hold out your glass for another round.

"Yes! That's my girl!"

After multiple rounds of Jimin's Soju Sunrise, your body loosened up along with your tongue, being quite the chatterbox to everyone hanging around. The alcohol coursing through your veins made catching up with old friends less dull. Though you wish you could've had a sign plastered to you stating your job, why you were back, and what you've been up to. It would've made your life simpler.

As you exited the bathroom, Lana immediately pulled you into an empty bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"What the fuck, Lana?"

"He's here!" she exclaimed out of breath.

"Who?" Confusion sets on your face.

“He-who-must-not-be-named!”

"Voldemort?" You raised a brow, pouting your lips together.

She struck your head. You scowled, rubbing the spot. Still confused, you think back to the crowded room.

A lightbulb finally goes off. You blame the Soju Sunrise for making you an airhead. "You've got to be kidding me."

"She's here too."

Oh, how you'd rather be clawing your eyes out right now. It would hurt less than facing Jungkook and Josie after all these years.

You had your little monologue prepared and ready to go, but you didn't think you'd have to recite it. Did you even remember what you wanted to say?

You looked around the room and sprinted when you saw a window. Your hands fumbled with the lock, but it was too hard to open.

"What are you doing?" Lana asked, her eyebrows knitted together, watching you struggle.

"I'm gonna climb out the window." It was the only sensible thing to do.

"You're so fucking dramatic."

"It's the only way to avoid them."

Lana grabbed your arms and made you look at her. "You are a grown-ass woman. Put on your big girl panties and walk out that door with your head held high."

"But I don't wanna," you pout. "And I'm wearing granny panties." You lowered your head, staring at your dress, picturing the blush-colored panties with a little bow on the front.

"Granny panties with this dress?"

"What? I couldn't find other ones and I like full coverage." Curse you for not unpacking like you should've been doing.

"Would've been better if you went commando."

"Lana! I have some dignity."

"Do you, though? You won't even leave this room and face the one person who broke your heart."

"Thanks, Lana," you said flatly.

"You're welcome!" she smiled, shaking your body. "Come on. You can do this. I believe in you." You rolled your eyes, staring blankly at her. She scanned you from head to toe, then back up to your chest. "Sweetie, we gotta make sure your tits are stunning." She dragged down the top of the dress, ensuring the swells of your breasts were peeking through.

"Lana, I'm not trying to seduce the guy." Okay—maybe you developed a crush on him, but it's not like you were going to make a move, he had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake.

"Yeah, who cares? We're trying to make Josie jealous."

"This is so high school," you comment, digging through your purse for your lipstick.

"Your point is?" Lana blinked.

You huffed. Okay—fine. If this were the only time you'd see Jeon Jungkook and Kim Josie, then fuck it. You could pretend everything was great for five minutes. Your hand went underneath your dress, tugging off your granny panties and tossing them on the ground.

"Holy shit—going commando too?" Lana squealed and clapped excitedly.

Hiking your dress up just a smidge, you were ready to smile and lie through whatever this dreaded conversation would bring up, probably old feelings of hurt and regret.

You hooked your arm through Lana's, with your shoulders back and head held high. This was it. After all this time, you would face the son-of-a-bitch who broke your heart and the cruel witch who took him away.

You had class—at least, you hoped you did. So, you'd play it cool, be calm and collected. Pretend like you had your shit together.

That is until you turned the corner and immediately spotted them snuggled up in the corner. Josie looked like a lovesick puppy all over him. Jungkook, not so much.

You clutched Lana's arm tighter and came to a halt. You repeated your short monologue in your brain from the bedroom to the living room, but it was as if your mind had wiped everything and your brain's connectors were short-circuiting.

Your eyes glistened as you watched the two. Josie sat on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him. Your lower lip quivered, and your stomach sank. You weren't sure if you needed to hurl because of them or because of the soju. Perhaps both.

Jungkook pulled away from her grasp, seemingly annoyed by her show of affection. As soon as he turned away from her, his eyes landed on you.

You flashed a small smile and a wave of your hand. Who knew seeing Jungkook would make you feel the complete opposite of the narrative you had created? In your head, he was a heartless best friend who left you for a wicked witch, but here he was in the flesh and was just that big-nosed, doe-eyed boy whom you shared everything with. You missed him so much and wanted to catch up on life like no time had passed.

Lana turned to you. "Hey, what happened to the bad bitch persona? Aren't you gonna tell him off?"

"I'm so stupid, Lana. I can't do this." So much anger had been building up within the last seven years, but underneath that anger was just a girl who was heartbroken.

Lana nudged you in the ribs. You two watched as he pushed Josie off his lap, causing her to frown. You attempted to let go, but she pulled you in as Jungkook beelined toward you.

"Oh, my god! Jeon Jungkook in the flesh?" Lana said in a dramatic tone. "You do exist! I can't believe it. Well, I'm going to find myself another drink! Have fun catching up with your bestie!" She punched Jungkook's shoulder hard, and he scowled and flinched, massaging the spot.

You pressed your lips together, unsure what to say to him. It's been seven years since you last saw him. Once you graduated from high school, you were out of each other's hair. You were off to college a few hours away, and he stayed in town to attend a local university.

Jungkook cut off all forms of communication. It was like your friendship ceased to exist, which hurt you the most. The last thing you received from him was a measly little letter explaining that he was with Josie and that she didn't want you coming in between their relationship.

You couldn't understand why Jungkook couldn't just talk to you. Josie was never mentioned in conversations, nor did you see him with her, so it felt out of left field. If Jungkook told you he liked someone, you'd never stand in the way of his happiness. You thought he knew you better than that, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe you didn't know each other at all.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Jungkook said, the corners of his mouth curving into a warm smile.

You only paid attention to the glow-up Jungkook had. He did get the lip piercings he wanted, along with the tattoos. You could see them peeking through underneath his gray hoodie hanging off his shoulder. The white tank top defined his taut chest, letting you know he liked to work out. His damp hair curled in all the right places against the nape of his neck and his forehead. The silver chain adorning his neck looked pretty enough to tug on.

"You look great, by the way," Jungkook added, breaking you out of your daze.

"Oh, thanks. So do you." You manage to squeak out finally; then you remember how provocative you looked in your dress compared to sweet, innocent, looking Josie in her pink floral sundress, who was making their way toward you.

"Jungkook, can we please get a drink?" Josie whined, giving you the once over before latching onto Jungkook like the leech she was.

"You remember—"

Josie interrupted, "Yeah–don't remind me. Can we go?"

Josie stormed off toward the kitchen, leaving you and Jungkook behind. Did he have any say in their relationship, or did she tug him around like a puppy on a short leash?

You're stunned but not surprised by her remark. Once a bitch, always a bitch.

Turning your attention back to him, you realize you have nothing to say. The scars from this friendship were carved deeply into your heart; not even the monologue you rehearsed could dissipate the pain he caused.

"I—I gotta go," you said, taking off toward the bedroom because you couldn't fucking leave your underwear on a random stranger's floor. You had to save whatever dignity you had left.

"Wait—" He tried to grab your attention and followed you, walking through the hallway toward a room. He watched you go from one end of the room to the other, searching for something. "What are you doing in my room?"

You straighten your posture, slowly turning to him. "This is your room?"

"Yeah, Jimin and I share this place along with another friend.”

Oh, now you were going to fucking kill Lana. She knew. She must have! That's why she wanted to bring you here. And out of all the rooms, you had to pick Jeon Jungkook’s to leave your underwear in?

"Great," you said in exasperation. You turned back around in search of your panties. "Where the fuck is it?" It could only be in so many places.

"Where's what?"

You got down on your hands and knees, tugging your dress down, looking underneath the bed for your granny panties. "Nothing," you grumbled. "Fuck it. Forget it." You stood, walking past Jungkook. He could have your underwear as a keepsake, you suppose.

"Hey—" He gripped your arm. "Come on. This is how you greet me after all this time?"

You scoffed, glaring at him. "You're fucking kidding me, right? You're lucky I'm even speaking to you. You don't even deserve that."

He lets go of your arm. "We kind of ended on a sour note, but it wasn't my fault."

He couldn't see it, but smoke was fuming from your ears, and you wished your death glare could burn through him and maybe even through Josie. How fucking dare he put all the blame on you? And for what exactly? You might add that you did nothing but be his friend, and he ghosted you like you meant nothing to him.

"So it's my fault?" You assumed he was placing the blame on you. "How is it my fault? Please enlighten me, Jungkook."

He quieted down, cowering his head.

"You showed up holding hands with Josie, then proceeded to not talk to me like a human being and instead wrote me a fucking letter like the coward you are. A letter, for fucks sake. You could've had the common decency to say it to my face."

You walked out of language class, and there they were, hand in hand as you idly watched from behind. And he didn’t even hand you the letter. He had stuffed it in your locker.

Your words took him aback. His recount of how everything went down was different from yours. "I'm sorry," he said. His eyes flicked to yours before looking away.

"Well, it's too fucking late for apologies."

Jungkook called out to you, and you didn't look back, storming away from him. You passed by Lana, telling her you were leaving and that you'd talk to her later.

You ran out the front door, stopping at the sidewalk's edge, remembering that Lana drove. "Fuck," you grumbled, pulling out your phone to grab an Uber.

You were stupid to think Jeon Jungkook wouldn't affect you after all these years. Maybe it's because you haven't dealt with feeling abandoned by him. Maybe you wished you did more for your friendship. Whatever the reason, you knew moving back wasn't a good idea because you’d have to deal with this.

"Hey!" Jungkook called out. You looked over your shoulder and continued walking. He ran in front of you to grab your attention. "Can you talk to me?" he asked, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

"Why don't you fucking write me a letter? Since you're so good at that," you mocked as you shuffled around him. He was a shitty writer who could barely pass Creative Writing without your help.

"That's not fair."

You scoffed, stopping in your tracks to turn back to him. "Run back to your little girlfriend. Don’t you have to get her approval first before talking to me?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

You tut. "Yeah–okay." That was hard to believe, considering she was all over him.

"She's not. We haven't been together for a while now," Jungkook explained.

"You looked pretty cozy earlier."

Jungkook looks at the ground, kicking around an invisible rock. "It's complicated."

"That's great, Jungkook, but I really don't want to hear about your relationship problems. Good luck with Josie and in life. You two deserve each other." You pulled out your phone to see if the Uber was arriving.

Crossing your arms, you walked back toward Jimin's place. You wish you pinned the pick-up location somewhere else, but you'd have to endure his presence longer.

Jungkook followed, giving you some space, stopping when you did. His eyes raked over you. His dimple appeared and disappeared as he licked his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"When you got your acceptance letter to college, and you decided you were leaving, you didn't bother to ask about what I thought," he said, hands still in his pocket, staring at the ground. Your eyes flickered to him before looking away. He softly chuckled, "I thought to myself, what would I do without my best friend? I had nothing going for me, didn't even know what I wanted to do—still don't know what I want to do. And as much as you make me out to be the bad guy in your story, there are a lot of things you don't know."

You turned away from him as your eyes began to well up. You didn't want to cry before him, rehashing things from so long ago. You let out a shaky breath, trying to contain your emotions.

"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked, using the back of your hand to wipe away the snot threatening to fall.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I would never want to keep you from something that made you happy," he admitted.

You were always open with each other, so you're unsure why this one thing made it seem like he couldn't be honest with you.

"Tell me one thing."

Jungkook hummed.

"Why didn't you tell me about Josie?" It was the one question that lingered since you received his letter.

His lips thinned. "Honestly?" You nodded. "It all happened so quickly. Jimin was throwing a party that night when you told me about going off to college, and I was in my head, overthinking everything. And Josie was there, being sweet and comforting me, and I don't know what came over me. I just kissed her to make myself feel better. Then, the next day at school, she took my hand and told everyone we were together."

"So, let me get this straight? I told you I'm going off to college. You get upset, kiss Josie because you were mad about me leaving, and then end up in a relationship with her?"

"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous."

You turned to him, hitting him across the chest several times. He held his hands up to block you. "Because Jeon Jungkook, it is ridiculous! God–you're such—a—" you groaned. "Do you know how much you hurt me? We could've avoided all this if you had just talked to me. Life could've been different for us. You could've come with me, and then we could've been together."

"Together?" He stared at you with his starry brown eyes.

"Yes, you dummy! I liked you, if you couldn't tell. I was going to tell you, but then you and Josie happened, and well, you know how the rest of the story goes."

You closed your eyes and let out a long-awaited breath. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, getting all this out in the open. You weren't expecting Jungkook to do anything to make you feel better, but at least he could hear what you wanted to say after all these years.

Your uber pulled up and you opened the door, holding onto it as you looked at Jungkook. A glimpse of the boy you once knew still lingered in his eyes. If you could go back and do it all over again, you would've fought harder for him, fought for what the two of you had. It was too precious of a friendship to let go just like that. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.

There were no forms of time travel or alternate dimensions where the two of you could've lived happily ever after, and there were only the choices you made here and now.

"Bye, Jungkook."

✨ read part two | read part three ✨

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

THE 141 RESPONDING TO READER'S CRAVINGS (pregnant or not) SUSPICIOUSLY BUT STILL GETTING THEM WHAT THEY WANT cuz they love them 😭😭

Hehe, absolutely! I did this one just as pregnant readers cravings if that's okay! I've heard of some really interesting ones to say the least🤣

141's + König's Reactions To Pregnant Readers Cravings

Warnings: mentions of gagging, urge to throw up

Simon Ghost Riley-

Simon awoke to an empty bed, groaning as he stretched his arms out to find your side of the bed cold. He rubbed at his eyes and stretched before swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

His brows furrowed slightly as he could smell the aroma of tomato sauce in the air. It was 8 am, what were you up to downstairs?

He made his way down to the kitchen and found you singing along your favorite song, cooking away at the stove.

"...babe?" He asked, approaching you slowly. "What, uh, what are you making?"

"Have you ever seen the movie ELF? With Will Farrell? That scene where he makes the spaghetti? It just sounded really good." You turned to him with a wide smile, as you giggled maniacally.

Simon swallowed thickly, slightly terrified at what was unfolding in front of him. He'd be lying, though, if he said he didn't find the sight of you adorable. You had a raging bedhead, your makeup still slightly smudged from yesterday, and were draped in one of his shirts, which practically dwarved you despite your growing belly.

He watched as you struggled with the pasta and chuckled slightly before making his way over to you, placing his hands on your waist as he kissed your forehead. "Need help?"

"Yes! Oh, that'd be great. The sauce is almost done. Can you get the syrup and the candy from the pantry?" You turned to him with a smile, and there was no way in hell Simon could ever say no to you.

He did as he was asked and felt his insides churn slightly as he watched you throw all of the ingredients together on the plate.

"Darn bottle won't open!" You huffed in frustration, prompting Simon to come to the rescue. "Thanks, Si. Once it's opened, can you pour it all over the pasta?"

"You want...syrup all over the pasta?" He suddenly realized you were being quite serious about the reference to the Christmas movie. "I uh.. okay."

He felt bile rise in his throat as he poured the syrup all over the pasta and tomato sauce, and it took everything in him not to puke as he watched you scarf it down. "It's SO good, Simon!"

"Sweetheart, I love you, but that looks dreadful." He chuckled, patting you on the head. "I'll go to the store and buy some TUMS, lord knows you'll need it later."

He gave a kiss to your head before grabbing his keys, stopping when you called out to him, waiving a small piece of paper. "Wait! I have a list. Can you get me these?"

"God, you're lucky I love you." He rolled his eyes playfully as he pressed a kiss to your lips. "Oh blood hell, that tastes horrid."

He grabbed the piece of paper and had to bite back a laugh as he looked at what was on the list. "Hot sauce? Ice cream? Tuna? Do I want to know?"

"Probably best not to ask."

John Price-

"Babe, I was going to order us some dinner, what did you want?" Your husband, John, called from the other room.

"I'm actually okay! Order for yourself. Found my new favorite snack." You shouted back, digging into the food in front of you.

Confused, given that you never turned down the chance to order food, John made his way into the kitchen, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you.

You were perched on the counter, 5 months pregnant, and in your lap was a carton of ice cream, with a jar of pickles right next to you. He watched as you scooped at the ice cream with one of the pickles in your hand.

John had to practice wicked self-restraint, as he tried desperately to not puke. "Love. Are you eating pickles... and ice cream?"

You nodded your head vigorously before biting off a chunk of pickle and spooning ice cream into your mouth seconds after. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let out a content sigh.

"Who knew! That pickles and ice cream would be SUCH a good combination?" You exclaimed, a wide smile on your face. "You should try it!"

"Oh. No, that's all you love. Wouldn't want to take it from you." He replied, trying to be polite. Though he found the idea utterly repulsive, he didn't want to make you feel bad about what you were craving.

John watched on, horrified, as you downed nearly the entire carton of ice cream and at least a half dozen pickles. How you weren't getting sick from it, he'd never know.

"Do you know if we have peanut butter?" You asked, turning to your husband with a hopeful gaze.

John blinked a few times before realizing you were talking to him. "Oh, yeah. Let me uh, grab it for you."

He reached in the cabinet next to you and slid you the jar of peanut butter. You grabbed at it and methodically dipped the pickle you were holding into the peanut butter. This time, Price couldn't hide the look of disgust on his face.

"Oh my God, this is incredible. I don't know why I didn't try this before!"

"I can think of quite a few reasons why a perfectly sane person wouldn't try it." He chuckled, and quickly dodged as you threw the spoon at him.

"Hey, Mister! You know better than to rile up a person when they are pregnant! It's not good for the baby!" You said playfully, as you flicked pickle juice at your husband. "Anyways, go ahead and order whatever you want!"

"Oh, sweetheart, my appetite is long gone."

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

"Hey, when you're out... could you possibly get pickles... and jelly?" You approached your husband shyly as you twirled your hair between your fingers. You'd had this craving for weeks, and it was getting to the point where you could no longer ignore it.

Johnny stiffled a laugh before offering a mock salute. "No idea what you'll do with those, but sure thing. I'll be back soon."

~

You met Johnny at the door when he returned, and were quick to grab the bag from his hands and sprint to the kitchen. You tore through the bag to grab the jar of pickles, and the jelly, and made quick work of spending the jelly all across the pickle.

"So, you going to make a peanut butter and jelly sandy? I didn't know if we had bread so I bought it... I bought..." Johnny's words trailed off as his eyes landed on you, practically inhaling the jelly covered pickle.

You turned to him with a sheepish gaze as you swallowed the remainder of your concoction. "What?"

"You just...ate pickles and jelly?" He asked, his brows raising.

"Look, it sounds gross, but I promise you, it tastes amazing. Try it!" You held up the second jellied pickle to him with a proud smile.

Johnny shook his head, chuckling and against his better judgment, grabbed the pickle from you, and took a bite.

"Not.. Not terrible." He said, coughing slightly. "Have you heard of dipping chips in honey though? Heard that's a weird craving but am tempted to try it if you're down, we've got the ingredients for it."

From that moment on, Johnny helped you with any pregnancy craving you had, and even encouraged some of them. He'd find various combinations on social media and would try them along with you.

The two of you even made it a game to see who could come up with the tastiest, weirdest combination. Surprisingly, Johnny won nearly every time.

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

"Hey, babeeee?" You called out to your husband, Kyle, who was cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

"Yeah love, what's up?" Kyle asked, looking over his shoulder as he flipped the bacon.

"Could you possibly put a glob of Nutella on the side with my plate of bacon?" You bit your lip nervously, unsure of how Kyle would react to the unusual request.

"Sure, but what did you need it for? I don't have any toast made."

"I uh...dipping the bacon in it sounded rather good, so I wanted to try it."

"Well that's a new one, don't think I've heard that one before." Kyle chuckled.

He finished up cooking and put together a small plate of bacon and Nutella for you. He stared at it for a moment, wondering how you possibly could've come up with this concoction. To say he was curious of how it would taste, was an understatement.

He walked over to you with a smile and handed you the plate, laughing softly as you did a small happy dance. "One plate of bacon and Nutella for my love."

"Oh, it smells heavenly, thanks, Ky!" You dug right into the food, groaning loudly as it tasted even better than you thought it would. "Kyle, you have to take a bite. I know it looks gross, but it's so good."

Kyle couldn't help himself. The giant smile on your face had you looking adorable, and he'd do anything to make you happy. He walked over and took one of the slices of bacon before dipping it in the Nutella.

"Holy shit. This is so delicious, babe." His eyes lit up as the flavor exploded on his tongue. He grabbed another slice of bacon and used it to scoop up a large bit of the hazelnut spread.

You giggled as you moved the plate to the middle of the table, and gestured to the seat next to you.

Needless to say, the two of you spent the better part of that morning eating Nutella and bacon, not that either of you were complaining.

König-

"Maus, what's all this in the cart?" König asked as he watched you throw yet another thing into your overflowing shopping cart.

"Oh! I'm just super hungry. I had a few things I wanted to try out." You gave him an elated glance before barreling down another aisle to grab another ingredient.

König chuckled to himself before looking down at the array of ingredients in the cart. You had everything from hot sauce to ice cream to oranges. He swallowed thickly as he remembered reading something in one of the pregnancy books he bought about the weird cravings those who were pregnant got.

You both made it home about an hour later, and he watched as you bolted inside, with one of the bags tucked firmly in your arms. He followed behind you and nearly gagged when he watched you grab the bottle of hot sauce and the jar of peanut butter. Surely... you weren't going to..

"Kö, can you get me a spoon?" You asked sweetly as you opened the ingredients in front of you.

König stood there for a moment, unable to process what was happening before he shook himself. He walked over slowly, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and handing it to you hesitantly. He watched as you snatched it from his hands, got a spoonful of peanut butter, and drizzled a decent bit of hot sauce on top.

You put the spoonful in your mouth and licked the entire spoon clean, moaning as you absorbed the taste. You put the spoon back in the peanut butter, before repeating the process with the hot sauce. "This is just what I needed."

"It...it tastes good?" König asked, bewildered. In his life, he'd seen people eat some pretty weird shit, but this easily took the cake.

"Oh gosh, it so does. Try it?" You asked, beaming as you turned to him. He gulped audibly as he approached you, taking the outstretched spoon.

You watched him with a hopeful gaze, as he took a tiny bit of the concoction on the spoon. He did his best to keep a straight face as he processed the taste and was trying not to gag as he desperately did not want to hurt your feelings.

He cleared his throat a few times before darting over to the fridge to grab a drink. He grabbed the first beverage he could find and downed it. "Maus.."

You gave a small giggle as you watched your husband's struggles. "Not a fan?"

"Oh, no, it was.. it was good. I'm just very thirsty." He gasped out as he finished the last of his drink. "Perhaps, I could make you a better snack though? I don't know how filling this will be for you."

"What kind of snack did you have in mind?"

König gave a hearty chuckle. "Well considering we bought half the store today, I'm sure I could come up with something."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Heya!! can i request for yandere john wick (headcannons or give anything will work)

You probably know which Anon i am. Please forgive me i got a little too happy cuz you write so good for such good stuff!

Yandere John Wick Headcanons

Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Stalking, Snooping, Very Brief Implication of Smut, Just John in Love <333, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You.

A/N: I wanted to get these out before I watch the new John Wick film; one which I have been waiting for for the last 4 years <3

O B S E S S I V E

Absolutely an obsessive lucid yandere – he may be in love, but he’s not delusional.

Regardless of whether you came before or after Helen, John knows how cut-throat his profession is; how quickly everything can go from an is to a was.

Thus, nothing is certain. Not you, not him, not your relationship.

So when he realises he’s in love with you – a process as gradual as the construction of Earth itself – he’s never letting you out of his sight.

This might manifest as something as subtle as him visiting you more than usual, staying, longer during movie nights, trying to get you to spend the night more often; inconspicuous displays of a strengthening friendship you and John had accrued over the last couple years or so.

But, unbeknownst to you, he’s around even when you’re unaware.

An unmarked black car parked a house or two down the street, shielded by the shadows of the trees as moonlight casts a stark white against the black.

An inconspicuously-dressed civilian who’s been sat on that park bench for the last two hours as you read your book.

And, eventually, the tiny camera attached underneath your sofa, monitoring every coming and going of your house.

You know about none of this, of course.

Sure, you may have suspicions that the car down the street – one you’ve never seen before in your life – could be doing something… but who were you to judge ? There could be a perfectly logical explanation !

But John keeps enough of himself – and you – in the dark so you’d never suspect him.

I mean, why would you ? He’s John Wick ! Nicest, quietest guy on the block.

If ever he’s on a mission; John relies on that camera more than he’s like to admit.

In his downtime, while resting up at the Continental, he’ll check his phone, see that you’ve gone to the kitchen to make something or other, and wait for you to return to the sofa until he can put his phone away.

Even with his logical mind, he can’t help but fall partial victim to his superstition that, once you reach the sofa, nothing bad can happen to you.

The idea of putting up more cameras has crossed his mind.

Multiple times.

But you’re attentive. You’d notice something as small as a little blinking light a mile off.

Hencewhy he takes to manual surveillance when he’s not out earning a thriving.

He also lowkey interrogates you.

“You found a boyfriend yet ?”

You give a sharp laugh.

“If I had, you’d be the first to know,”

You already tell John practically everything that happens to you – as best friends do – but whenever you ask John something similar, he’ll skirt around your questions.

“No time for that,” he’ll tell you whenever you try to identify the new mystery partner in his life.

“You’re always so busy, John-John !”

Ah, his nickname. A mythic specialty no other has had the privilege to call him.

And John gives a rare smile.

“I’m never too busy for you.”

And you know he means it.

Whenever you need him, he’s there.

And you try to be there for him as much as possible, but given how elusive he is, he rarely seems to need it.

You want to help as best you can, regardless.

So, one day, out of the blue, you hand John a set of keys.

He’s a smart man. But he can’t wrap his head around what you’re trying to tell him.

And when he stares at you with a narrowed look, your eyes roll, the edges of your lips curling up.

“They’re keys, John,” you say. And you gesture around the living room, general in your manner. “To my house.”

And John stares at you for a moment. Then two.

“(Y/N), I’m not trained to be a housekeeper.”

“Oh my god, John–”

You have to explain to him that you’re not trying to get him to clean your house or care for it. You’re opening it up to him.

“I trust you more than anyone else to know how everything works here,” you say, a hand on his shoulder. He’s trying to keep dead eye contact with you, but the feeling of your fingers holding him with a softness he’s never known is like being branded.

“So,” you smile. “If you ever need it for anything, you can get in.”

Honestly, John has been granted few mercies in his time; makeshift alliances with murderers who were loyal to none, not even themselves, his life saved only by his ability to barter and his renowned skill for death. And never are these mercies granted without a price.

So to have you gift him a set of keys to the place you are most vulnerable takes John a while to come to terms with, shall we say.

Remember earlier when I mentioned John’s idea to install more cameras ?

Well, now you’ve given him a perfect in.

Plus, he now has access to all your personal belongings.

At first, he did try to restrain himself.

Trust me, he did.

But, as the days grew into weeks, your keys sat on his bedside, glinting under any source of light that could find its way inside.

And, as if the Gods aligned circumstance on his favour, you would be away from home for a week.

A trip to such-and-such a place – John had the address memorised even before you did.

You’d best believe that, although he initially had his reservations about 1.) you going on the trip, and 2.) using your absence as a means to snoop around your home, John is not immune to whim and fancy. Especially when it came to you.

He’s phantasmic; he leaves no trace, not even fingerprints as he prowls your apartment, looking for…well, anything, really.

He avoids stooping so low as to rifle through your underwear drawer like a stalker. Instead, he uses what he likes to call ‘environmental storytelling’ to make deductions about you.

He’s a very intuitive, perceptive individual, so the story of your everyday routing unfolds for him as if he were reading a book.

And, yes, the temptation to peek at the…less savoury pieces of your inventory did become overwhelming when he could no longer be satiated with the literature you consumed, the worn look of your favourite outfit, your secret money stash you kept in the biscuit tin in the kitchen.

To make a long story short, John walked out your house with a short of yours.

And, when he got home, he did the only thing he could think to do.

He put it on a pillow and pretended it was you.

Cuddles with it whenever he’s missing you. Or sad.

Maaay have cried into it on more than one occasion.

Maaay have done…other things to it when he wasn’t feeling upset.

He’s absolutely paranoid that you’ll find it one day, despite his aptitude at covering his tracks, so he tries not to invite you to his house as much as he can.

However, as your friendship progresses further, that’s unavoidable.

While you may not be dating yet, just know that John holds you in the highest of regards, and he’ll never let anything – including himself – hurt you.

Just ignore his eye wandering to the walk-in cupboard in the hallway; that’s just where he’s kept his imitation of you.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterpost

Yandere Masterlist Juicy Original Content <3

[omgthatdress]

Extremely pissed off this year about the Golden Globes's ridiculously loose definition of "comedy."

Okay studios have ALWAYS stuffed their middling dramas that are okay movies but not good enough to be serious awards contenders into the comedy or drama part of the Golden Globes just so they can have "Golden Globe Nominee/Winner" on otherwise forgettable bullshit.

But this year I'm actually fucking pissed off about it because this year has given two genuinely superb comedies that absolutely deserve recognition: Barbie and Bottoms.

Yes, Barbie has a ton of nominations and is likely to win a lot of them and honestly probably deserves them all. But here's the thing. Fucking Charles Melton's stunning and heart-breaking DRAMATIC performance in May/December (which despite having a level of camp and a few jokes in the script is NOT A COMEDY if ever I saw one) is pressed against Ryan Gosling's superb and hilarious performance in Barbie, which is an actual fucking comedy that deserves recognition for being an excellent comedy.

Charles Melton's performance is probably the best performance I've seen this year. An actor whose previous claim to fame was a minor role on Riverdale went into this movie and fucking stole the show from Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman. BUT IT IS NOT A COMEDIC PERFORMANCE AT ALL.

Ryan Gosling, on the other hand was not only hilarious, he managed to turn the personality-less Ken into an actual person with emotional depth and a sense of reality. It's and extremely skilled performance that he clearly put everything he had into and it is so good.

DIFFERENCES LIKE THESE ARE WHY THERE ARE SEPARATE AWARDS FOR DRAMA AND COMEDY. Both actors deserve awards for their work. And Charles Melton is probably going to win because well he'd probably win best actor anyway. In a movie that is only good because the acting is superb and wouldn't be nominated for anything outside of acting were it not for the fact that they could stuff it into the comedy nominations.

Comedy is so under-valued and it infuriates me. Bottoms is one of the funniest movies I've seen in years, full of wicked, clever writing and outstanding performances. I want to see movies like this, which take incredible skill and talent to make get fucking recognized. AND IT'S NOT NOMINATED FOR SHIT.

You know what is nominated?

Air. Fucking Air. Fucking Ben Affleck being rewarded for yet another deeply mediocre movie.

For real people have no appreciation for how hard it is to be funny, and the skill and talent it takes to make an outstanding comedy. It deserves recognition, but it almost never gets it.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Barbara Stanwyck (Ball of Fire, The Lady Eve, Double Indemnity)—I hope someone else has submitted better propaganda than I because I don't want my girl's prospects to rest on me just yelling PLEASE VOTE FOR MY TERRIBLE HOT GIRLFRIEND. She is a delight in everything! She is often a sexy jerk! (It's most of the plot of Baby Face!) Even when she plays a "good girl" (as an example, Christmas in Connecticut, which more people should see) she's still kind of a jerk and I love her for it! She won't take men's shit and she sure wouldn't take mine!

Margaret Lockwood (The Wicked Lady, The Lady Vanishes)— Gorgeous feisty funny talented and the sexiest stubborn face ever committed to film. And if people haven't seen the original Wicked Lady they need to be introduced to a glorious poly highway romp of a film. When a woman outsneers James Mason you know she has sex appeal!

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Margaret Lockwood:

Barbara Stanwyck:

"THE leading lady of the golden age of hollywood. One of the only actresses to work independent of a studio, making short-term contracts that enabled her to make movies wherever she wanted. She had so much range, and could act in basically any genre. She's been rumored to be a lesbian literally since she was active in Hollywood; most notable is the rumor that she had a long time on-and-off relationship with famously bi Joan Crawford, her "best friend" for decades (They lived right next door to one another). She also lived with Helen Ferguson, her "live-in publicist" for many years. She was the quintessential femme fatale in Double Indemnity, and really pushed sexual boundaries in her pre-code films like Baby Face, and the famous screwball The Lady Eve, where she plays basically a downlow domme. Allegedly, when a journalist asked her if she was a lesbian, she straight up threw him out of her house. She even played a lesbian in Walk on the Wild Side"

"THE queen of screwball comedies. I adore her, I'd kill for her, I will cry if she's not gonna win this poll."

"listen ok she had awful politics she was a mccarthyist right wing wacko BUT she's so incredibly hot that i've deluded myself into believing i could fix her. if you see her onscreen she carries herself in a way that's just so effortlessly sexy AND she has just a stunning face. imo she was at her hottest in the 1940s but even as early as the late 1920s she had a rly captivating screen presence and just a beautiful face, and then post-1950 she was just irresistibly milfy so really she was just always incredibly hot. she was also an incredibly talented actress who was equally stellar in melodrama, film noir, and unhinged screwball comedy. the blonde wig they made her wear in double indemnity is notoriously silly looking but she still looks sexy in it so that's gotta count for something. i've watched so many terrible movies just for a chance at seeing her that i think her estate should be paying me damages."

"Not often thought of for her sultriness, Barbara Stanwyck was incredible in that she could actually choose to be hot if the role called for it, and then have a glow-down to look ordinary for another role. She wasn't the most beautiful or effervescent, but damn did she have rizz. Watch her with Gary Cooper in Ball of Fire teaching him about "yum-yum" or with Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve whispering huskily into his ear."

"She is always the smartest woman in the room. Watching her play Henry Fonda like a befuddled fiddle in The Lady Eve was a highlight of my life. Femme fatale in Double Indemnity, comedy queen in Ball of Fire. She can do anything."

"She was part of my gay awakening"

"SHE'S A PRE-CODE QUEEN. She did everything, drama, comedy. The most beautiful woman in the world to watch weep. Beg for to step on you with those legs. Fun Babs story: Ginger Rogers was offered the role in Ball of Fire but said, “Oh, I would never play that part, she’s too common.” So they called Barbara Stanwyck and they said “We offered this to Ginger Rogers but she’s turned it down, would you be interested?” And she read the script and she said; “You bet! I LOVE playing common broads. [link]"

[tobydandelion]

Disabled Villainy isn't Ableism, it's Realism, or; Some People are Wrong about Nessa.

[Some 'Wicked' stage musical/Movie part 2 spoilers]

So I've been seeing a lot of takes about Nessa, (mostly on YouTube since that's the best social media platform for my current neurological needs), and there's a somewhat common one that I have the strong urge to dispute into the void. Some folks seem to misunderstand Nessa's role in the deconstruction of 'Evil'.

The Wizard is Systemic Evil, Glinda is Complacent Evil, and Nessa is Socially Traumatized Evil.

Because Wicked isn't just deconstructing society's perception of evil, but also Evil in practice- which comes from not only bias, misunderstanding, apathy, and greed- but also, the cycle of abuse. And a lot of disabled people don't like to hear this, because there's that lovely statistic that we can point to that says we're "more likely to be victims"- and that's true of abuse that reaches the level of criminality- but I dont think that's true of day-to-day, average, 'just plain mean' abuse. That kind of abuse is a learned behavior that comes from trauma. And, emotional neglect from your peers is trauma. Feeling like a burden is trauma. Watching all the other children playing and feeling left out is trauma. Being made to feel different over your entire life, is trauma.

Nessa isn't an ableist character, she's realistically Borderline for being disabled in a world without Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Her character literally feels like she was written with BPD/NPD in mind- lashing out the most when she's feeling abandoned by a person she perceives as "hers", feeling the need to control the people around her, not caring how she hurts people in the process of that attempt to control their affection- she's literally my ex wife. They're both very extreme examples, but, with an understandable pathology. And the less extreme version of that is someone a lot of us need to actively fight against becoming every day. It's not fair that that's our burden, but it is. It's the thick line between healthy self-loving disabiltyPunk, or just being a dick. And it's a part of our extra personal labor that 'Entitles' us to an extra amount of grace that I don't think I'll ever really be able to properly quantify, because that line can be hard to see in the heat of the moment, through years of gaslighting and guilt and shame and resulting internalized ableism that we have the urge to fight against. The only way we can really see that line is in hindsight.

And while media that more thoroughly deconstructs this cycle is neccessary, so is simple media like Wicked. Especially in the context of an example of another traumatized marginalized character who made the decision to start actively trying to follow their ethics over their emotions despite their trauma. And, once again, the solution isn't limiting the options for marginalized characters, it's just making more marginalized characters in general.

A lot of folks also take issue with the entire concept of depicting disability being 'cured' in media at all, but, and thankfully I have actually seen this rebuttal: nothing about her life gets better once she becomes abled. And that's because she still has all that trauma from those years of severe marginalization that resulted in ostracization and feelings of powerlessness. She's still disabled- just only neurologically so, now. This is a terrific example of how different disabilities can intersect, and be exacerbated, or even created, by the neurological impact of marginalization.

In fact, that brings up another criticism that I've heard- that the characters are realistically ableist... in a society falling to fascism... in a story all about marginalization. I'm pretty sure that's intended, you guys.

Maybe I'll turn this into a script to film for shortform content next year when Part 2 comes out- I hope I'm out of Postpartum Depression by then. But I couldn't get this out of my head until I got it into words this morning. I think that's probably a good sign I'm starting to feel more like myself. Thankfully I had time to sit down and rock and type this morning, since my partner is taking care of our baby in the other room right now. (Not just babysitting, either- he's washing bottles.❤) He's 6 months now, and the most beautiful, funny, amazing person in the world. Meeting the new version of him every day as he gets stronger and brighter has been the light keeping me going. And we're already doing PHONICS. 💪🧠

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Tied Together - John Wick X Female Reader

Title: Tied Together

John Wick X Female Reader

Additional Characters: Dog/Boy (John's Pitbull), and Freckles the Dalmatian (OC)

Requested by Anon!

WC: 1,594

Warnings: embarrassment, nervousness, slight 101 Dalmatians movie reference/meet cute, John being John, awkwardness, slight angst, and fluff

The sun was shining brightly down upon you and your dog, Freckles. He was a Dalmatian, with five prominent spots on his nose and around his eyes, with black ears, and the usual black spots that dotted his short white coat. He was a beautiful, angelic animal... When he wanted to be. He was always running off on his own to do things like play in the park, or run through the woods in search of birds, squirrels, or any other small prey animals. But that was just how dogs acted, and you loved Freckles. He was your best friend. 

The park was nice, calm, and with very few kids running around; playing games, or having picnics with their families. It was just perfect weather for a walk. You weren't really paying attention, but with a sharp tug of the leash, you looked up abruptly. Freckles was bouncing or hopping back and forth, looking up at you with wide bright eyes, seemingly excited about something. You frowned slightly, tilting your head.

"Freckles... Honey... What is it?" You asked your hyper dog. "Is it a squirrel?" His tail wagged wildly and he let out another yip of excitement. And before you knew it, Freckles bolted. You almost fell forward, stumbling to not fall as Freckles pulled you along behind him. This dog was certainly more intelligent than most. You knew he wanted something, and you almost regretted putting him on the leash. You looked up, eyes widening when your dog went barreling into someone. 

Freckles jumped up on a man, his dirty paws landing on the man's suit pants, making you cringe. The man turned, looking down at the tail-wagging, tongue-hanging-out dog. The man's black hair fell like dark curtains, framing his face almost too perfectly. Your heart stopped at the sight of his brown eyes, so deep, you couldn't imagine ever looking away. His lips were pulled into a tight frown as if angry; however, his eyes told you differently. They held an emotion you had never seen before. A kind of sadness that made you yourself worry. You swallowed nervously, giving the man an awkward smile as you quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. Freckles doesn't usually do this." 

The man looked back down at your dog, who hopped off his legs and began to sniff his Pitbull. "Freckles?" He asked, his voice deep and mysterious, making you wonder what his morning voice would sound like.

You nodded sheepishly. "Yeah... Uh... He's got spots, like freckles... So I sort of got inspiration from that?" You spoke, your sentence becoming more of a question the more you spoke. 

The man before you then turned down to look at the dogs, watching them play with each other. It was silent for a long time, an awkward tension in the air as you watched your dog, subtly glancing at the man beside you. He still hadn’t said anything, which made you feel even more nervous. His overall presence beside you made you nervous. You couldn't get over how handsome the man was. He was definitely more attractive than any guy you’d ever met. You shook your head lightly. That thought was ridiculous and inappropriate. You were only meeting the man for the first time, and already thinking about that?

"So..." You began, instantly cringing at yourself, "What's your dog's name?" You asked, and the man beside you said nothing for a while, making you want to crawl up inside a hole and die, but you let out a breath when he finally spoke.

"... Boy. His name is Boy." He answered, his voice softening and sounding more relaxed now.

Your jaw dropped slightly. "... Oh." You responded lamely, and you could've kicked yourself. "Boy… That's a good name for him…" You added quietly, looking back down at Freckles and Boy playing. You couldn't help smiling slightly.

He chuckled softly. "Yes, I suppose it is." Then he smiled slightly, before turning slightly towards you, his hand out. "My name is John."

Your eyes widened slightly as you took his hand, shaking it gently, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly. "Uh... Y/N. Nice to meet you." You stuttered, feeling more embarrassed with every passing second that passed by. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and felt sick to your stomach. You were so stupid... So unbelievably stupid. You should've been able to hold a normal conversation with him, and yet here you were trying to make small talk. "So, uh... Where'd you get Boy?"

John glanced at you before looking back at the two playing dogs, "A kennel." He answered simply, and you looked at him with a surprised expression.

"Really? That is so sweet. Rescuing dogs is such a noble and heroic thing. I didn't get the chance for Freckles. My parents gifted him to me." You replied with a soft giggle, causing John to glance back at you. You cleared your throat before speaking again, "Sorry. Uh, I'm not really good at socializing." You said quickly, your cheeks growing warmer with embarrassment.

"No apologies needed," He murmured, "Socializing isn't really part of my expertise either." He added, causing you to blink in surprise.

"Oh... Well..." You trailed off. Why did you suddenly feel the need to fill the silence? Why did you want to speak to him further? You tried to think of what to say. "Well, it's nice to meet another introvert like me." You inwardly cringed again, realizing how stupid that sounded.

John gave you a look, and you thought you almost saw another smile before a small yip brought your eyes to your dog. You bit your lip briefly before you looked up at John once more, "Uh, I might as well go. I have to make lunch soon, and Freckles must be tired from all the playing." You chuckled, as Freckled pranced over to you. "It was nice meeting you, John." You looked down at Boy. “And you too, Boy.” The pitbull barked happily.

John nodded, offering you a small smile, "You too."

As you turned to walk away, Freckles walked with you for a while before he barked up at you, suddenly turning and running back to John and Boy. You watched in horror as Freckles ran up to John and Boy, your rambunctious dog then launched you into John's back. Slightly startling the man as he turned around, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you blushed madly. You tried to pull away, apologizing profusely but you couldn't move your legs. Looking down, you watched as Freckles chased Dog around you and John, ultimately tying the two of you together with the leash. 

"Freckles! Stop!" You shouted both yours and John's bodies pressed together uncomfortably as you tried to stop your dog. Looking up at John, you continued to apologize. "I'm sorry about him, he's usually very well-behaved."

John shook his head, his hands wrapped almost protectively around your biceps, "It's alright, please don't apologize."

"Well, I can't help but be sorry." You spoke, almost defeated. "I feel so embarrassed." You mumbled softly, feeling your cheeks grow hot as you stared up at the man, who smiled slightly at you, his hand loosening its grip on your arm.

"Please, don't worry." He spoke, "It was an accident."

"I know." You sighed, "Here, we should try and get out of this." You mentioned before you and John began to successfully untangle yourselves from the leash. 

Hands on your hips, you glared down at Freckles, who looked up at you with wide puppy dog eyes. "Oh, you're in big trouble, mister." You scolded him gently, in a slight baby voice. "No treat tonight." At your words, Freckles whined, before seemingly huffing and sitting down. "Oh, don't give me that attitude, young man." You chastised sternly, and Freckles pouted up at you. "Don't give me that look! Don't you dare pout at me either!" John looked at you with a warm smile, clearly amused. His smile left once you turned to look up at him. "I'm sorry about him again, there has to be something I can do to make it up to you." You offered.

John quickly shook his head, "No, it's alright. I understand."

You took your turn to shake your head, "No, please. I must do something to make this up to you. I won't be able to sleep at night if I don't." You practically pleaded. John stared at you, frowning slightly, the gears turning in his head as you continued, "Please, let me take you to this sweet diner I know. I'll pay for lunch."

John paused for a moment, his brows furrowing in thought as he slowly shook his head, as if not wanting to accept. "You don't have to do that."

"But I want to." You insisted.

John continued to stare at you, his eyes raking over your features, analyzing everything he could; from your hair to your eyes, to your lips. His own lips parted, but no words came out. Could John open his heart again? Could he let his cold heart thaw? Could John let someone back into his heart? He opened his mouth a few times, an "Alright." Finally fell out. You smiled widely.

"Really?" You asked excitedly.

"Sure." He repeated himself, his hands finding a place in his pants pockets. "So, where is this diner?"

You grabbed Freckles's leash as you and John began to walk out of the park, Freckles and Boy fooling around as they followed. "Well, it's just up the street! It's super nice, has the best milkshakes, and is pet friendly..."

[damnfandomproblems]

Posting a compilation of responses to Fandom Problem #5234

Anon:

PLEASE watch the Contrapoints video on Twilight. It is by a trans person named Natalie Wynn.

(anon includes a link to a YouTube video titled "Twilight | ContraPoints")

This video has changed the minds of tons of people who initially thought Twilight was "rape and stalking abuse", by explaining the history of where all this panic comes from and why people are drawn to dark fantasies. It changed my mind and I'm hoping it'll change your mind too.

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Anon:

going through every point bc this personally ticked me off for literally no reason but i have nothing better to do. so. sorry if this seems overly pissy /genuine. (also typed this in my notes app so sorry for the lack of italics/caps in place of italitcs) 1. not wanting to see incest/whatever isnt purity culture. blocking tags/accounts that make you uncomfortable is something that is HEAVILY ENCOURAGED. the only people i have ever seen discouraging this are antishippers. what IS purity culture, however, is saying that EVERYONE ELSE should not make something because it makes you personally uncomfortable. as someone who was literally raised within purity culture, that is exactly the kind of shit they say. 2. fiction DOES affect reality! but not in the way you think it does. yes, propaganda works! but that is because it is specifically constructed to convince people of a certain view. representation is important because people who arent cishet white men exist and deserve to see themselves in fiction. but i think the best way i can explain it is this; if you were to watch Hannibal, would you automatically assume that cannibalism is okay? what if you watched a John Wick movie or Deadpool? Is mass murder okay? the answer is obviously an astounding no, because you are able to think about the media you consume. this is expected of any media that isnt literally a show aimed at children. There's at least one media btw. i'm not entirely sure about Hannibal because i've never seen it. 3. that is literally a coping mechanism therapists recommend. those are all UNHEALTHY and SELFDESTRUCTIVE coping mechanisms. you cannot compare the two. 4. if you are getting mad about porn then that is an entirely Puritan viewpoint. 6. "make the story frown upon it." if you cannot gauge for yourself that these things are bad then you should not be engaging with those stories. 7. last point isnt a proship issue, its a jerkwad issue. people who dont tag things are dicks, at least we can agree on that. however if someone doesnt tag something it is on you to block them. YOU need to curate YOUR online experience. (it may also be worth it to KINDLY send an ask about it. its the same as tagging flashing. sometimes people just dont think about it and sometimes people are doing it on purpose to be a douche. you need to block the latter as they are not worth your time or energy.) Last point was something you did not mention so im not including it in the list itself; if you were to ask a proshipper if they supported pedophilic/incestual/abuse relationships irl, they would most likely say no. If they say yes then they are just a pedo/someone who is okay with incest/an abuser. those people are not bad people because of the fiction they consume/create. they are bad people because they want to hurt people and do not see anything wrong with it/are not willing to see why they are in the wrong. apologies for any typos, ive reread through it but i tend to miss things.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Anon:

Op really just compared writing fictional scenarios with fictional dollies, a method of processing trauma that is recommended by psychologists and actually -is- effective at helping people process stuff, to alcoholism, street drugs, and socon which can and do kill people. You ever seen someone withdraw from alcohol abuse? I have. You actually spoken to a psychologist about friends who write things to cope after being raped at a party? I have. Are you still a clueless child? Yes. So take your moral panic and shove it. You're a kid but if you want to get involved in serious adult conversations, you need to be prepared to accept discussing serious, real things. You can't even look at a rapefic without getting triggered (I use this word in the proper sense, not hyperbolic sense) and ascribing blown-out-of-proportion, emotional judgments on people who, if you passed them on the street, wouldn't stand out to you at all. Because these are normal people. This to me is a huge sign you're just not ready for this kind of conversation.

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Anon:

"...really ticks me off how someone can say "It's really fucking gross how you wanna see a minor and an adult make out" and proshippers can be like "UGH PURITY CULTURE" Like, how is not wanting to see pedophilia and incest purity culture. Especially when you're a minor. dumbass I was a minor when I wanted to se OCs modeled after myself hooking up with the hot adult leads from my shows. I wasn't stupid enough to think it was OK to happen in real life but if Dream of the Endless was in an arranged marriage with my OC for reasons I wanted to see it. Like. "Minors" have sex. A lot. And yeah, age gaps can be problematic in real life but on paper? Who cares? It's fake. It's not real. It's a story. Acting like minors are sexless little angels until the day they turn 18 is crazy. Minors want to see boning and they want to see people their own age boning, and sometimes they want to see people their own age boning That Old Man or Milfs or 1000 year old vampires or whatever. Not even gonna bother with the rest. Others can get that.

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Anon:

Where to even start here? I guess I should start by saying that proshipper doesn't mean what you think that it means OP! It doesn't mean that we support incest or pedophilia, it simply means that we're anti harassment. I don't like incest or pedophilia. It's weird to me, and yet one of the most popular series, Game of Thrones, features both incest and pedophilia. Romanticizing villainy? Can I ask what your definition of romanticizing is? What if the story revolves around the villain? Like Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? Are stories like that not supposed to exist? What about the anime and manga called Overlord? What About Hannibal Lecter? What about the Joker movie? Do none of these have any value? Do you expect the villain to deadpan into the camera every 10 minutes confessing that he knows his actions are wrong but he's doing it anyways? And if the writers don't make their characters do this, are you going to accuse them of condoning their characters actions? Because I think it would be pretty dumb to make a villain out of character for the sake of, "I know this is wrong, but I'm doing it anyways!" Do you want no villains in stories? Is that what you prefer? For everything to be sunshine and rainbows all of the time? Because that would be really boring. Are there any true heroes without a villain. A bad coping mechanism? Really? So now you're a psychologist who knows everyone on the planet that knows exactly what everyone needs to get better? Coping mechanism looks different from person to person. What is important is that the coping mechanism helps you process your emotions and what happened to you and sometimes it is helpful to write your emotions out in the form of writing and sometimes that can be fanfiction. I am someone who had been diagnosed with trauma and depression and I'm currently doing therapy for this and taking medicine. You know what's helped me all of these years before I started going to therapy on a regular basis? Characters with a lot of baggage like me. They can be hero or villains. I don't care which it is. If they have a tragic back story and I'm all over that. Fiction doesn't effect reality? It can and sometimes does. You're right. But you know who's problem that is? Your parents, the school system, and whoever else never taught you that fiction is fiction. That characters aren't real. If your parents let the TV or Internet babysit you growing up instead of being a parent and teaching you right from wrong, or being able to tell fiction from reality, well then that is the fault of your parents. Do you know who's not at fault? Stranger on the Internet. We're not here to hold your hand, you are not entitled to that. It is up to you to curate your own experience and mind your own business. If you don't like something, blacklist the tag, block the person posting it or log off of that site and find something else to look at. You think you've debunked everything, but really you're just naive and living in a fantasy world. The world is not an idealistic place, nor will it ever be and that is why these stories exists to begin with. Covering up everything that is bad in the world won't ever make it go away and that is reality. Period. Let people cope the way they need to, and unless you have degrees in psychology, you have no right to tell people what they can and cannot enjoy. Again, I myself would never write or read about some of the things that you've posted about OP, but will I continue writing about my trauma? I sure will, because it is something that I am still dealing with many years after it happened and I'm sure others will do the same with the things that they've had experience with, too.

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Anon:

OP, one of your top posts is an AO3 reference and contains a link to an AO3 fic. In case you didn't know, AO3 was directly created to be a host for fanworks that got censored by other sites. Functionally, it is an archive, like a library. And like libraries, it hosts anything that is legal to host under US law. One major driving factor behind AO3's creation was the "Livejournal Strikethrough Boldthrough", an incident where "concerned parties" successfully lobbied to get Livejournal, a site that hosted writing, to remove its "yucky fics". Guess what? Gay fiction got removed in the process because, surprise, certain parties found that yucky too. (I'm talking about conservative groups who are obviously very anti-gay and anti-LGBT.) Here's one post about it: https://pretentioussongtitle.tumblr.com/post/624690560646676480/like-wathever-antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx So... You can't say you're okay with calling to censor things, without looking at the full picture and where it ultimately leads. You're asking for a lot of collateral damage. And like someone else said, engaging in discussions about heavy, adult topics with strange adults on the internet (and most of us are adults, OP) is very dangerous. There have been a lot of cases where someone has cried foul about certain kinds of fictional writing, only for an "anti proship" person to walk up to them and groom them, and it worked because the kid was under the pretense that the person was a "safe, good person". Please do not put yourself in danger and get out of the spaces you frequent.

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Anon:

It's interesting you use Lolita as an example of what to do "right" when it comes to depicting things. You believe tons of media must be censored or kept away from the light of day, yet Lolita is an example of what to emulate to prevent that from happening? You would be very shocked to discover Lolita is among, if not the, most notorious piece of fiction for censorship groups to attack. So I really don't know if you fully understand what it is you're arguing for, here. You're just a kid, so I'm assuming you haven't actually read Lolita. That's the first thing. The second thing is, given the fact virtually all people who are invested in censoring and banning media actually hate Lolita, but you seem to have a totally opposite, 180-degree opinion about it, I have to wonder if you've happened to find a lot of random stuff from around the internet, but have yet to actually put it all together and cross-check everything to see if it actually makes sense. There's a lot of stuff in your post that is either plain out wrong, poorly strung together, or contradictory.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon:

I'm going to look real tinfoil-hatty in two seconds, but I swear some of y'all antis in the notes are following tags like "pedophilia" and "incest" and that's the only reason you found this confession. Cause I haven't seen half of you here before. And if so, that's kind of weird. I hope I'm wrong. To be fair there's no way to confirm either way but I just thought it was funny because I can see it happening if not for the antis here, than for others. Gotta get that daily dose of outrage.

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Anon:

""Fiction doesn't affect reality" So why is representation so important? Why has propaganda worked so well?" you're taking this statement too literally. fiction obviously affects reality. if you cry over your favourite character's death, well there ya go. fiction has just changed reality. it made you feel sad things. representation is important because it makes those represented feel acknowleged and because it makes their existence more known to the world. propaganda is designed SPECIFICALLY to heavily affect reality. a doujin artist does not sit down and think "hmm. today i will draw a loli hentai to turn people into paedophiles". ""Well I'm not gonna become a murderer just because I've seen people murder in pieces of media" Name one piece of media where murder was portrayed as unironically, fully okay." as someone not well-versed in shooters, fortnite. murder is encouraged in fortnite. the point of the game is to kill people. i'd also like you to name one piece of media where rape is portrayed as perfectly fine and dandy. ""I'm coping with trauma" Well that's an awful coping mechanism. If you have been traumatized by incest, abuse, or pedophilia, why are you creating/consuming content where those are all romanticized?" because the fact that they're not alone in their suffering is comforting to them? as an abuse victim, i like characters with abusive parents. it gives me a character to sympathise with and characters to absolutely loathe with all my being. now that i think about it, i like that i'm not suffering alone. other people acknowledge the things i, and other victims, have to deal with. there are other reasons, but that's one i thought up ""You're ableist for criticizing our coping mechanism!" ... You know what else is a coping mechanism? Self-harm. Alcoholism. Excessive drug use. Those are frowned upon EVERYWHERE, because they're self-destructive. So why is thinking adults and minors should be cute together (sometimes real life adults and minors, but I'm not gonna get into the whole RPF discourse because RPF is even more fucking disgusting) suddenly okay?" there is a difference between doing things that being actual harm and because the latter is harmless. besides... isn't this circular logic? this argument is based on the conclusion you draw from it. "proshipping as a coping mechanism is bad because proshipping is bad". ""Rule 34 and gross ships is always gonna exist!" In our current world, bigotry is always gonna exist. Doesn't mean we should stop getting mad about it." bigotry excludes a specific group of often-innocent people for no reason. rule 34 is just porn of fictional characters. completely incomparable ""I'm exploring unhealthy relationships in fiction!" Okay then! That's great! Don't romanticize it. Tag it accordingly. Make the story frown upon it. Lolita, the book, frowned upon the pedophilia and thought it was disgusting. Do that." nobody romanticises anything. most loli hentai just... depict a loli having sex. it doesn't depict it as this amazing thing that you should dp. most lolicons that talk nabout wanting to fuck... idk, klee from the funny gacha game don't actually wanna have sex with kids. it's omly romanticised in-universeww, if you will. it doesn't say anything about it being good to do irl. and on nhentai, we use tags. we have a lot of 'em, including the recent 'kodomo doushi'. you jujst have to take a look at the tags section of a doujin and search for any tag you may not want you can also filter them in the search bar. we tag our shit, it's just your fault for being an irresponsible fuck. "But you're not gonna do that, are you." we will. the importance of tagging can NOT be stressed enough anon, i am gonna be blunt here. you are not smart. you did not debunk shit. god will slam the pearly gates of heaven on you for this post

[loulooser]

Here’s some things about me!

My name is Lou online

I’m lesbian aromantic agender

My favourite colour is green

I really like music, drawing (I’m not great tho), cooking, talking, watching movies, making friends, wearing clothes, being gay etc

My favourite band is twenty one pilots

I’m a massive Marvel nerd

My top five marvel characters in no particular order:

Phillip J. Coulson, Spider-Man (not including spider verse people, that’s a different tier list)(Andrew is the best of the three spider men), Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Loki Laufeyson.

Some of my fav books/series: Gone (Micheal Grant), Itch (Simon Mayo), all of Alice Oseman’s stuff, AGGGTM (Holly Jackson), The Angel Of The Crows (Katherine Addison), all of Darren Shan’s stuff, Skullduggery Pleasant, Ketchup Clouds (Annabelle Pitcher) etc etc

My favourite movie is fantastic mr fox

I really like Diggers (the machines)

Favourite animal is a rabbit

My favourite show is Agents Of Shield

I cry a lot

I love love love Les Mis. Watched it just under a month ago in London and I will never recover. Stewart Clarke the Javert that you are <3

I most likely have misophonia, but even if I don’t please for the love of god don’t make any noises around me

Anxiety is fun

Big fan of fictional old men from the 1800s. Shoutout to them.

I like Nintendo a lot!! Zelda and Animal Crossing my beloved. The 2DS is my favourite console ever (not the stupid 2DSXL)

I really like musicals!! Some honourable mentions: Les Mis, Hamilton, Wicked, Six, Heathers (some of it, haven’t seen the whole thing yet), In The Heights, Rogers the musical (SHHH SHH ITS FUNNY) and School Of Rock

I’m a massive nerd

My plan in life is to finish school (A levels in DT, Computer Science and IT), then start an apprenticeship in software engineering :3

Please send me asks!! My dms are always open for rants or a chat

Navigation:

- Writing posts to keep handy

- tags: (Mind you I don’t use them anymore)

#the reblogger - reblogs

#the religious text - original posts

#musical Lou - lyrics/yapping about music

#the boys from Ohio - tøp posts

#my FRIENDS - me and my friends

#marvellous tomfoolery - marvel

(I don’t have all my tags for people yet, but when I do they will be here:)

- #shreypilled sheepmaxxer -> @shreysheep

- #dizzy my beloved -> @diary-of-a-disaster

Cool posts I’m pinning here:

Disproving TERFs with biology

Wizard maze.

Shoe lacing patterns that help pains

Reaction templates

Cool art links

snapshots of my music taste:

(This is basically me putting together a playlist every first of every month that sums up my music taste and how my soul sounds if you will at that point in time)

[snapshots archive]

My cat:

Her name is April and she is very cute. No idea what breed she is

[muddyorbsblr]

man of the month part 10: november

Series Masterlist @mochie85's Series Masterlist See my full list of works here!

Summary: You start planning for contingencies as you realize that after today, Loki will figure out that you have feelings for him.

Pairing: Loki x Reader (almost there…)

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: language (sorry not sorry, Rogers); sad Scopes hours; a tiny bit of steaminess at the end

Things to be aware of: mutual pining; idiots in love

"Come on, Scopes, you gotta stop being so hard on yourself," Shaun tried to console you as he helped you load the backdrops on a pipe, prepping for Strange's shoot today. "Barnes seems to be a pretty chill guy, he'll get over it in no time. Pretty sure he's not gonna have a hard time finding someone more than willing to try making him forget all about you." 

"Gee thanks, Shaun," you deadpanned. "Real stroke to my ego right there hearing that I'm easily forgettable." 

"I didn't say you were forgettable, Y/N. I'm saying there isn't a shortage of women willing to try --" 

"Relax, Xu. I'm kidding. I know what you meant." The visible relief on his face quickly had you both chuckling and struggling to properly prop up the backdrop. "But honestly, though, you should have seen his face," you went on, a more serious tone coloring your words. "It was like I took his puppy and tossed it into traffic." 

"I'm sure it can't have been that--"

"Actually, you know what, no. It's worse. It's like I gave him a puppy that he would grow to love with every fibre of his being and then one day I just upped and chose violence, taking that puppy from him, tying him to a chair and making him watch as I fed it to a meat grinder." 

"Okay that's the last time we watch the SAW movies to 'unwind'," he commented, a queasy look coloring his face as he imagined the scenario you just described. "I'm almost afraid to ask but…where exactly am I in this grotesque mental image of yours?" 

You gave him a wicked smirk before you answered, "In the kitchen. Cooking chili." 

"You're demented." 

"And you chose to be my friend, so I guess you're stuck with me." You finished putting up the final backdrop on the roll for Strange to choose from for his shoot. "So…anything I should be aware of today?" You weren't afraid of Stephen, not by a long shot. But after yesterday's session with Bucky you thought it best to at least have an idea of where the doctor stood emotionally when it came to you.

"All I know is that he likes you," he answered. "And he's holding out hope that since everyone so far walked out rejected, that hopefully it's him." Shaun looked to the door to see if anyone was nearby before saying in a more conspiratorial tone, "Little do they know you literally saved the best for last." 

That was the shoot you were terribly afraid of. Tomorrow's. Loki's. At the end of Strange's shoot, he would know that it's him; he was the one you'd had feelings for. The one you were in love with. 

And he would laugh in your face. Or perhaps he would be less cruel about it and just reiterate how tits deep in the friendzone you were, and that there was no way you would ever get out of it. 

The look on Shaun's face morphed into one of concern. "Scopes?" You didn't reply. "Y/N?" Still nothing. "Tweety…" 

"Huh?" 

"I lost you for a second there. Where'd you go?" 

"He's gonna know today," you answered him, your tone sullen and despondent. "Strange is gonna come out of his shoot, say it's not him, and everyone will know who it is. He's gonna know today and I'll never be able to look him in the eye again." Tears began to prick at the backs of your eyes as you could feel your heart splintering. "Maybe we should get someone on standby. In case he doesn't show tomorrow. Ghosts me completely." 

"Tweety I really don't think--"

"Hey Babes. Hey Shaun. You two wanna go get brunch before Stephen's shoot?" You looked over at the door to find Wanda and Vision, along with Natasha, standing right outside your studio and looking up at you and Shaun tiptoeing on tall ladders with barely any support if one of you were to topple over where you stood.

"Hey Babes. Sure just let us get down from here and we'll join you." You looked over at the synthezoid standing by Wanda. "You joining us, Vishawn?" 

"Tweety why would you use that, you know--" 

"I know, Wan, I know. I've probably been hanging out too much with Sam. That reminds me, Vishaw--I mean, Vision…" you corrected yourself as Wanda playfully glared at you. "If ever we'd be in need of a substitute, you'd be available, yeah?" 

"That would be correct, Agent Y/L/N," he answered you. "Although I do not believe that you would be in need of one--"

"I know, I'm just making sure I have my contingencies in place, you know?" you tried to explain as you took a step down from the ladder, causing it to wobble from its instability. "Could one of you hold this stable? And maybe someone else do the same for Shaun?" 

"No need, little Tweety bird," the martial artist said casually as he practically flew off his ladder, landing safely on the ground. 

"Show off," you grumbled, scrunching your nose and sticking your tongue out in his direction, earning you an amused look and a similar expression back. You took another step down carefully, the ladder nearly tipping over completely to the side had it not been for you putting all your body weight toward the opposite direction, stabilizing it once more. But only barely.

"Oh my fuck. Y/N!" you heard a new voice from by the door before you felt a fabric wrap around you as you were safely lifted upward and away from the ladder, and then placing you safely on the ground. You looked at Strange's cape wrapped around your shoulders, the lapels smoothing your flyaway hairs and then proceeding to fluff it out as the sorcerer approached you. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah yeah, I'm--I'm fine, Stephen. Thanks." You found yourself quickly returning the fond smile that he gave you, keeping yourself planted firmly on the ground as his cape seemed to push you toward its master. "You're here early." 

"Just wanted to stop by and ask what time you wanted me." You raised an eyebrow at his wording, your friends leaning back with playful smirks on their faces as they eyed him. The former neurosurgeon suddenly stammered, "I-I mean, fuck. I mean what time you wanted me to come over. For the shoot." 

"Relax, Strange," you chuckled at his suddenly nervous demeanor. "I know what you meant I'm just fucking with you." A grin broke through on his face as he visibly relaxed. "That's better…We were actually on our way out to brunch so…probably later at around 2pm sound good?" 

"Sounds good. But nobody talk about food around me. You're about to feast on plates of bacon and french toast, while I'm here eating like a damn rabbit trying to make sure my abs don't get camera shy." 

His words had brought a genuine smile to your face, something you hadn't been able to do for the last few days, and had you feeling a bit more like yourself. The you before this entire project even began and Stark decided to spill your secret that was bound to get out by the end of the day.

Goddamn Stark, I should've kept the code that had FRIDAY calling you Daddy for this.

"Just stay away from the carbs," you offered. "At least until the shoot's over and then you can gorge on all the bread and pasta you want, I promise." You turned toward your friends, who were now looking at you with an almost teasing expression. "Let's go?" 

Hearing your name exclaimed in such a panicked manner had Loki sprinting from his seat at the kitchen island toward the door to your studio. Whatever got the former Midgardian healer to seem so worried about you was most definitely his concern as well. You may have been acting peculiar since yesterday which he couldn't quite rationalize for the life of him, but that did not take away from the fact that he still loved you and your safety would always be his priority.

When he got to the door of your studio, however, you were already safely on the ground, Strange's cape wrapped around your shoulders with the lapels primping at your hair, the rest of it making a visible effort to nudge you toward the sorcerer.

Perhaps his brother had been right after all. It was truly down to Strange and himself, considering that Barnes had walked out the night before unsuccessful in his attempt to woo you. And from the way you'd acted around him yesterday, the god was convinced that the super soldier was secretly a strong contender. 

But it seemed that he'd found out before his appointment with you even came that he was ultimately to lose in this endeavor. It was the former healer. Strange. 

And his dreaded suspicions were all but confirmed when he saw you speaking with the other man, your whole demeanor so glaringly comfortable compared to how you behaved when you were around the god. And your smile. The one he hadn't seen since this project even began. The one he thought you only had reserved for those closest to you.

You'd given that smile to Strange. 

Perhaps the game was already over. A winner had already been determined before he even had his chance to test the waters with you. Of course it wouldn't be him. It was foolish of him to think that someone as good as you would ever harbor emotions for him that ran as deep as his for you. 

That was a fantasy he simply was not deserving of. 

All he could do was at least bask in the brief moment where he could see that smile of yours again. Even if it was given to someone else. He watched, frozen in his stupor, as you walked out of your studio still adorning the sentient cape, that wondrous moment where you illuminated his world with your radiant grin shattered as the expression on your face faded into one of hesitation as your eyes met his.

And in that moment he could swear his heart had fractured, too.

"Oh uh…hi, Loki," you stammered, your gaze fidgeting as if you'd become incapable of maintaining eye contact. 

"Good morning, Y/N." He wanted to stab himself at how formal the atmosphere felt around you two ever since Banner's shoot. Things had felt so strained ever since that day, and what made it exponentially worse was that he couldn't pinpoint a reason why. All he knew was that yesterday morning when he saw you, before you disappeared into Barnes's chambers for the soldier's session with you, he had compelling reason to believe that you'd been crying.

Was it over your studio being ruined? Most probably not. He knew that you were not the time that would become so overcome with emotion over that. It was an inconvenience, absolutely. But it wasn't worth sobbing so hard that your eyes were rimmed with red.

Besides, the studio was all but finished now. It would be ready for you once more before Strange even appeared for his session after lunch. 

"Are you alright?" The confusion on your face prompted him to say more. "I heard Strange call for you in a panic--"

"Oh that," you cut him off, your tone deceptively nonchalant. "Nearly fell off the ladder. No biggie. Levy kept me safe." You motioned toward the cape as you said the last part, the lapels now set on your cheeks and shaking your head. "Oh you don't like that name?" More vigorous shaking. "You'll get used to it." One of the lapels lightly tapped you on the cheek.

"Hey how come you're nicer to her than you are to me?" The ends of the cape made a motion as if shrugging at the sorcerer before resting at your sides once more. 

"Strange, isn't there a command or something to get this to return to you? I don't know it just…feels weird. Like I'm wearing something I shouldn't be." He snapped his fingers and the garment twisted off your shoulders and went flying back to its master, sending your body twisting in the same direction from the momentum. 

Loki made the split second decision to intercept you from that path, stepping forward and placing his hands on your shoulders. You looked up at him with those big doe eyes that it took all his strength to not throw caution into the wind, frame your face with his hands and press his lips to yours. Even if he wouldn't be the one to ultimately win your heart, he wanted you to know that you held his. There was never a competition. There never would be.

"Thanks, Mischief," you mumbled, awkwardly ducking and shuffling out of his hold. He resisted the urge that arose in him to reach for you again. You turned and reached your hand out towards Romanoff and walked toward the elevator, leaving him standing with the sorcerer.

"So it looks like it's down to the two of us," Strange commented, holding out a hand as a show of sportsmanship. "May the best man win?" 

Loki merely scoffed as he turned and walked back toward his chambers. "I am no mere man." 

You returned to the Tower in better spirits than when you left. That last interaction with Loki was so excessively awkward that it really threw you off kilter. It almost felt as if he already knew that it was him and he was doing everything in his power to retain what semblance of a friendship you had.

Would you even want to remain friends with him when he finally knew and he chose to say and do nothing and instead just put in an effort to ensure you both at least remained friends? No. Probably not. 

With your studio good as new after Tony made sure to have everything repaired and replaced, you had all your resources available to you again. A far cry from yesterday at your shoot with Bucky where the entire thing took place in the bathroom in his apartment, which probably contributed further to the emotional train wreck of a session all that turned out to be. 

Straining to clear your thoughts, you took a good look around the studio, assessing each set carefully to see which would fit Vision best. Might as well ready the contingency because you were almost completely sure that tomorrow your heart would break waiting in here for absolutely nothing and no one to show up for the December shoot. 

You knew that he had a more human-presenting form, something he learned from early on in his relationship with Wanda so that she would not be subject to the condescending looks of those who passed her on the streets when they walked together hand in hand. More likely than not, he'd be using that, and he gave off more 'distinguished professor' vibes with that version of him, so you mulled over the study, trying to see what would work for him and what could be taken out now.

You'd been so focused on your current train of thought that you barely registered the sound of your door opening, the sound of footsteps and fabric whoosh-ing being what caught your attention.

"Scopes," Stephen greeted in a playful tone. "How was your brunch?" 

His question once again had you smiling at how laid back the atmosphere was around him. "It was good, Strange. Thanks." You pointed toward the bare set with only a background and he snapped his fingers at his cape, making the garment stay put as he took his place on the set, sitting down on the chair you'd placed there this morning, legs stretched out as he manspread and leaned his torso slightly toward one side. Relieved at how quickly he'd taken to getting comfortable with a pose, you clicked away at your camera from a few angles, hoping one of them would be good.

"Hey, have you never been curious why there's half a vintage car in here?" he asked pointing at the display piece a few meters away from the bedroom set. 

"Honestly? I chalked it off to Tony being Tony. Remember the man had a phase of when he believed something was ridiculous yet 'unique' he'd immediately go 'I need it. Buy it.' That's probably one of those pieces." 

"And you never thought of using it?" You shrugged your answer; none of the previous sessions ever even considered branching out, and it wasn't your place to tell them which sets they would be posing in. After all, the entire point of the shoots were whatever they were comfortable with. 

You did, however, use the car in your pre-calendar 'test shoots' with Wanda and Nat. And the resulting shots made you desperately wish that at least one of the twelve men would want to at least have a few shots done there.

"If I wanted to use it, what would we need?" You took a few covert shots at Strange as he talked, hoping that the casual demeanor he had would translate in the photos because it captured the sorcerer's effortless charm quite well. 

"I'd have to either bring the blinds down so that the sun wouldn't be glaring into the lens and ruining the shot to Kingdom Come, or bring the half-car over here. You got any magic spells that could swing that?" 

"I might have something better." He stood up and walked out of the studio, calling for someone to come over and help the two of you with something. A few moments later,  you heard the unmistakable heavy strides of Thor fast approaching.

"Lady Y/N! Master Strange! How can I be of assistance?" 

You pointed toward the half of the '67 Chevy Impala. "Could you bring that over to this side of the studio? We wanna use it for his shoot." 

The blond god walked over to the piece. "Certainly. Though I do have to ask…While I am always happy to help you, my si--my friend," he stammered. He seemed to have caught himself before he said another word, but he hadn't said more than the beginning of a syllable, so you couldn't for the life of you figure out what the real word would have been. "Why didn't you call for my brother instead?" 

You bit your tongue at the realization that  Thor knew about your feelings for Loki. Memories of the June photoshoot haunted your mind now, of how you flat out admitted that you liked his brother. Too much, you even said. And for some reason he believed that those feelings were requited. Precious dummy. 

"I erm…Strange was the one who called. Not me," you evaded his question. In truth had you been the one to step out, you'd have made the same call. "I-I didn't even know he was outside." 

The god of thunder lifted the half of car seemingly without much effort and began to bring it toward the front of the studio, taking slow, careful steps as he struggled to see where he was going. "He is always outside, Lady Y/N. Those who do not know better may even take to believing that he'd begun to live on that portion of the couch. Stark even made a comment about how the cushions may already have a permanent impression of his buttocks…?" 

You chortled at the mental image, making a note to check the couch for such a mark. Out of pure curiosity, of course. 

He put down the fragment of the vintage car down near the set that you were just using with a goofy triumphant smile on his face. "Will you be needing my assistance elsewhere, my friend?" You shook your head at him. "Then I suppose I will take my leave. Lady Y/N. Master Strange." 

"Thanks, Thunder." You waved at him as he walked out of the studio. You turned back towards Strange, who'd taken the initiative to place the chair he was previously occupying down in front of the opening of the half-car. "Alright, Doctor." You motioned toward the backseat. "Take a seat. Let's try to get this done as soon as possible so you can go eat. Y'know. Do it for the pizza." 

"Hah. Right," he chuckled, unbuttoning the first button on his shirt and pulling on one side before taking a seat in the back half of the Impala. You clicked away on your camera as he adjusted his seating, having a feeling that his official shot would be one of the more casual, candid shots rather than the ones he posed for. "Would you like to join me, Y/N?" 

You put your camera down, your smile faltering as you saw him intently looking at you, waiting for your answer. "O-Oh. I uhh…"

The smile on his face lost its brilliance, fading into one more consistent with someone trying to handle disappointment without making it too obvious. "So it's Laufeyson?" 

You figured there was no point hiding it anymore. He was the only one left. You nodded your answer. "I'm sorry, Stephen." His eyebrows furrowed together in visible disappointment, looking away from you. You couldn't fathom for the life of you why you took a shot of him looking like that, but you did. "And I know it's stupid. He hates everyone, he hates his brother, so spare me the speech. I'm a stupid little mortal. Alert the press." 

"I wasn't going to say that, Scopes." He stood up, his tone sounding more like that of a consoling friend as you walked over to your computer to plug in the memory card from the camera. "I was just going to say that if ever you two got together we'd have two world record breaking relationships in the team." 

"Oh yeah? How so?" Your tone dripped with sarcasm as you entertained his ridiculous hypothetical of you and Loki becoming an item. 

"Well we already have Rhodes and Danvers with the universe's longest distance relationship." His quip had you chuckling despite the impending heart-shattering conclusion to this project fast approaching. You could feel it more and more now that the moment he'd walk out and inform everyone that it wasn't him came closer and closer. "And then if you and Laufeyson became a thing? We'd have the universe's largest age gap relationship." 

You nearly spat out your water. "Strange--!" 

"I mean I don't think anyone can top a thousand and three hundred years, give or take, so I think it's safe to say that that record would be yours. You even beat out Thor and Foster." His comments had you full on cracking up now, for some reason becoming much funnier once he brought up Thor and his currently long distance relationship with his own girlfriend.

"Ohh god…" you groaned. "You think Jane would kill me if I told her when she gets back that I saw her boyfriend naked?" 

"Are you kidding?" he shot back at you. "This is Thor we're talking about. Jane probably already knew about the calendar the second Stark announced it. And she probably already knows that you saw everything that her boyfriend had to offer. He tells her everything. L'amour and all that." 

When the pictures finished importing into your computer, you pulled all his shots up on the screen. "Pick your poison, Doc." 

"I see what you're doing, you know," he teased. "Trying to avoid the conversation about Mr Golden Horns. What is it?" He laid a hand on your shoulder, urging you to look at him. "Oh. You still think it's one sided, don't you?" 

"Come on, Strange, I know it is. Just pick your shot. Please." 

He pointed at the last shot you took. "I like the melancholia." 

"Plus your fans are gonna be screamin' and creamin' from the little bit of exposed chest they get from this." 

"That's just--Ugh, gross, Scopes. How'd you get so crass?" 

"Hung around too much with Sam. And then started hanging around with Shaun to add some flavor." He gave you a fond smile before redoing the undone button on his shirt and straightening it out before proceeding to begin to walk away. "Hey, Strange?" 

"Yeah, Y/N?" 

"Is there any chance you could…postpone telling them? Just until tomorrow?" 

A sad smile graced his features as he shook his head. "You know I can't. They'll figure it out anyways if I walk out of here anything less than ecstatic." 

Tears began to prick at the back of your head once again as the inevitability sank in. This was it. Loki would know in a matter of minutes. "Gotcha. It's all good. Thanks, Strange." 

"If he doesn't want you back, it's his loss," he uttered, his tone once again consoling. "You're an incredible woman. It's…the whole reason I said yes to Stark's ridiculous project. I wanted to try and see if maybe you got to know me a bit better…" 

"That's…that was really sweet of you, Stephen." You grimaced as the look in his eyes became somber. "Fuck, it never feels good turning someone down. I'm really sorry," you sighed as he gave you a clearly forced smile. His attempt at trying to make it easier for you, which just made you feel even worse. "I suppose tomorrow I get to know how you all felt. Taste of my own medicine and all that." 

"He's an idiot if he rejects you, Y/N. Remember that." You answered him with a forced smile of your own. "And if ever he really does prove that he's the biggest idiot on the team, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on…" He clicked his tongue and gave you a playful wink as he raised his shoulder. "I'm available." 

His antics somehow found a way to elicit a giggle from you. "Thanks, Strange. You know, Stark did say that he was so sure of this turning out well for me that if he was wrong, I had full permission to beat his ass in one of his Iron Man suits, so at least I have that to look forward to." 

"Atta girl. Do you want me to go tell Horns that his appointment's tomorrow or do you wanna do it?" 

You groaned at even the thought of having to face Loki after this shoot. "Might as well, right? I'll do it. You go on ahead, Strange. I'm sorry you have to be the sorry fucker to seal my fate." 

"I'm sorry, too." 

And with those words, he walked out of the studio. Leaving you alone with your computer and your fears of rejection intensifying by the second.

There was truly no viable reason why Loki chose to still stay at his usual seat waiting for Strange's appointment with you to conclude. He already knew the answer to all this. Strange would emerge victorious and he would have to face you tomorrow without you even realizing that his heart had shattered the night before. 

Should he even bother with telling you of his affections? He did not wish to put you in an uncomfortable spot especially since you were already adjusting to your new reality where you were starting a new relationship with the sorcerer.

Strange finally emerged from your studio, the smile on his face inconsistent with that of someone who'd just won your heart, but it unnerved the god nonetheless.

"So it's you," he huffed. "I suppose congratulations are in order." He stood and held out his hand. "I suggest you hurry before I change my mind and break your jaw with it instead." 

"Oh fuck me," he grumbled, breaking into chuckles that sounded a mix of strained, relieved, and disappointed all at once. "You're in love with her. Oh this is rich. This is some Hallmark, Lifetime level shit." 

"Strange, what--" 

"It's not me, Frosty." His heart pounded in his chest at the words. 

He couldn't find it in himself to utter the words. To even think it possible that the answer was… "It's me?" 

Strange took his hand and gave it a single shake. "Congratulations. Try not to rub it in all our faces tomorrow. Who am I kidding? You'll probably walk out of here carrying her bridal style." 

The sorcerer walked away f rom him and further into the tower right as the door to your studio opened again and you poked your head out of the doorway, the hesitation in your eyes returning as your gaze met his.

Oh, my darling Y/N. Was that the reason behind your discomfort all this time? You thought your feelings unreturned? 

"Uhh, h-hey, Mischief. You good for doing the shoot tomorrow?" 

It took all his strength not to walk over and just make you completely his right this moment, offering only a smile your way instead. "Yes, darling. I'll see you tomorrow." 

You ducked back in to your studio with a quiet "Okay", leaving him slumped back in his seat, thinking about how he could steer his appointment with you tomorrow. The things he could do in order for things to lead to him finally getting to tell you the words. 

"I love you, Y/N," he whispered into the empty waiting area. 

As the hours passed and you still hadn't reemerged from your studio, Loki concluded that you'd probably fallen asleep in there once more, surrounded by your work. But instead of walking over and pressing his hand to the door, silently bidding you goodnight, he made the decision to walk in there instead and check in on you. 

He found you laying on the floor, pages of the calendar strewn out around you in varying sizes, your tablet near your right arm. Your chest rose and fall in perfectly even intervals, telling him that you'd fallen fast asleep, but the furrow in your brows told him that you were at some level of discomfort.

"Oh my darling mortal," he whispered, picking you up and into his arms, causing you to stir as your arm instinctively hooked itself over his shoulder.

"Who--"

"It's only me, Y/N. I'm bringing you to bed." Your tiny giggle at his words nearly had his resolve crumbling. "To sleep, my love." He bit his tongue at his own words, thanking the Norns that you were too deep in the hold of your slumber to remember much of this encounter.

You grumbled against him, burrowing your face into the crook of his neck as he walked up the steps leading to your chambers. Loki couldn't help but smile as he caught the words "no fun" in the midst of your incoherent protests. Once he made it into your bedroom and laid you on your bed, you became a touch more restless in your sleep. 

"What is it, darling?" His voice became clipped, more strained, as you squirmed and whimpered in reaction to him tucking your blanket under you. "Truly testing my resolve, aren't you, little mortal?" You mumbled more incoherent words, making him sigh in temporary defeat. He would talk to you tomorrow. "Sleep well, my love." He pressed a brief kiss to the top of your head before he turned and made his way out of your chambers.

"Mmph…love," you sighed as you began to wriggle out of the hold of your blanket. "I wish Loki loved me back." 

He crossed the distance to you once more, leaning down and placing his lips barely an inch away from your ear. "I do, my darling Y/N. I do." Your breathing began to grow heavy as he whispered the words into your ear. "My darling girl, tomorrow I will make you mine. You will know without a shadow of a doubt that you have my heart. That you have consumed my every thought, waking and dreaming."

You began to stir some more, starting to turn your face towards his, causing him to splay his fingers lightly along your jaw, keeping you in place. Your chest heaved, little whimpers escaping your lips. 

"Tomorrow, my love." He touched his forehead to your temple. "Words will never be enough to adequately tell you of how I love you, so I will prove to you my affections. Show  you how you possess my heart, my devotion, my pleasure. There will not be an inch of your precious form that will go untouched, unloved. By tomorrow's end you will share my bed, lay in my arms, and I will never let you go." He pressed a kiss to the skin below your ear, eliciting a moan that had him quickly hardening in his trousers. 

"Vixen," he grumbled against your skin, pressing another kiss to the same spot. "Rest tonight, darling. You'll need your strength." You whimpered once more, the heavy implications of his words seeming to have reached you even in your current state. He moved to hover his lips over the base of your throat. "Just one more. To tide me over until I have you tomorrow. Until you're mine. Forever." 

He pressed a kiss to your skin, both hearing and feeling the delicious moan you let out. Gods, that alone took a Herculean effort for him to pull his lips away from you, to wait until the next day for him to conduct a proper seduction. One that neither of you would forget. When he had pulled away — albeit reluctantly — and once again was at the door leading out of your bedroom, he turned toward you one final time. "Sweet dreams, my love. Until tomorrow."

A/N: Sing it with me everybody, he knows he knows and I know he knows…

Everything taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot @creationsbyme @coldnique

[daphnebowen]

descendants rise of red thoughts

warning: these are probably nonsensical and just a lot of confusion/venting/random excitement?? but enjoy regardless:

I'm glad that they explained jay, evie, and mal's absence right off the bat 

Uma and mal's relationship >>>

Not me bawling my eyes out already at the mention of Carlos, we all know uma's tears were china's tears 😭😭

Wonderland is GORGEOUS

"DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER" WHERE THE ANGELS USED TO BE

this fight scene is so unrealistic 

LUCIUS MALFOY?!?! (nope it's a dupe)

can I just say Kylie is GORGEOUS in red??

MAD HATTER SON SIGHTING AND I LOVE HOW HIS NAME IS MADDOX

who would have guessed she used the hug with Maddox to steal the Time Machine - hmm, not me!!

Brandy is absolutely KILLING IT her voice is majestic 

but where does Chad fit into all of this??? like isn't he the son of Cinderella but he doesn't look like his dad or mom?

the queen of hearts accent is soooo soothing

she (the queen of hearts) reminds me a LOT of Audrey, in her looks, her mannerisms, the way she speaks, her everything, it's kinda crazy 

A MENTION OF CHAD!!! Maybe it's possible! who cares about genetics!!

okay queen of hearts buggy is 🤩🤩

Chloe reminds me so much of evie and red reminds me so much of mal!! this is probably obvious to everyone and on purpose but oh well

WHATS MY NAME REMIXXXXX AHHHH

where's Harry and Gil bro not even a mention of them??? they were uma's best friends bffr

Omg I haven't seen Dara in a lot of other things but she is SLAYING the crazy uliana character 

Chloe running around fixing all the things red's messing around with is so accurate 

WICKED STEPMOM SIGHTING

anyways, the house Cinderella grew up in is soooo accurate to how I pictured it

I don't think poor chloe has ever touched a mop lol

Dara doesn't even sound like herself in this song

THAT EEL FREAKING SCARED ME GAGAHAGAGA IT LOOKS JUST LIKE FLOTSAM AND JETSAM which is probably the point but oh well here I am 

the way my heart DROPPED when she smashed the shoes!!!! 😢😢

oh snap. I did NOT expect red to go there (speaking about the "how did that end up for her?" talking about Chloe's mom) THATS SO AWFUL AND HORRIBLE MY JAW DROPPED

young Cinderella can SINGGGG

Love how they never showed Chloe's feet after she threw her glass shoes into the fireplace 😂 not important but I thought it was funny

love the kid barking and meowing and making Merlin rethink his life choices 

I definitely thought for a second that red was gonna be like "actually, I want to stay in this timeline"

OMG I HOPE THIS WORKS

YESSSS UMAAAA SLAYYYYYY ILYYYY

the costume change for queen of hearts is EVERYTHING

how is Chloe going to explain the broken glass shoes to her mom lol

nothing gets past Uma lol she's ALL KNOWING OUR QUEEN

final thoughts: reaaaalllyyyy wishing we could have brought back more of the og's or even got a little more closure about Carlos and his death. even though I know everyone's moving on and healing and dove especially is distancing herself from Disney and trying to be her own person without that (which, I respect) I still would have liked a cameo, a sort of "passing the torch" thing. without them it kinda was abrupt and strange, but having fairy godmother and Uma definitely benefited the movie. Red and Chloe were definitely well thought out and loveable and relatable characters for me, being a perfectionist myself and having three little troublemaking brothers who want nothing to do with me or my family at all. I feel like there was hardly any real time to get to know the other characters at all though! particularly young Bridget and ella, I definitely would have loved to see more of them. even uliana, although she made such a big impact and interest with her limited amount of screen time, put it to good use and made the most, though I would have wanted more. More backstory between her and Ursula's relationship, perhaps??? Uma and uliana reconciliation?? where is uliana now??? etc etc etc. I feel like the movie was so short there wasn't a ton of time to fully flesh things out and explore the characters and yet the pacing was great for the plot, so I don't know how those two things work together but somehow it felt rushed and yet perfect at the same time?? Like I don't know what they could have added to make it longer. definitely wanted more Uma and fairy godmother banter and updates on all the vks and auradon kids!!! how's Jane!!! ESPECIALLY NOW CARLOS IS NO LONGER WITH US?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? what about Lonnie!! and dizzy and the twins and Doug and Harry and Gil and all those other rascals. good to know Chad's off playing tourney in college and we know mal, Ben, evie, and jay are sailing around the world making amends with other countries and forming alliances. but yeah. overall I was pretty satisfied, obviously I don't think ANYTHING could top the iconic original descendants but I feel like this one did its job. it continued the story and introduced many new characters and a new timeline and plot line that was easy to follow while also leaving room for more and for wanting more. didn't even mention the music but I felt a lot of it was suuuuper repetitive and just this pop thing. where are my ballads!!! my if onlys!!! everything was just like "rotten to the core" or "chillin like a villain" and I wanted some emotional songs. Yes, I love a good pop upbeat song but I don't want an entire movie of them. everyone sang great I think, except I couldn't tell what was real and what was auto tune, but anyways. so yeah, I'd rate this movie a 7.5 out of 10. Pretty decent but still... not the greatest. as to almost be expected without our original cast.

side note: anyone wondering, if Cameron Boyce hadn't passed away, do we think they still would have continued adding on to that original trilogy and storyline or do we think that they would have brought in the new characters and storylines anyway? just a thought, I've always wondering what it would be like if cam hadn't passed. rest in peace xo 💋 

[timeagainreviews]

A Foot in Two Worlds: 73 Yards

My third-grade lunch buddy was a girl named Kendra. We used to love chatting about movies and television. My favourite topic was Batman. Hers was Full House. However, one morning, instead of gushing over Stephanie Tanner, she told me about a movie she and her brother had watched over the weekend. The movie was 1989’s “Clownhouse,” and she was a bit traumatised by it. And because of her vivid description, so was I. Honestly, I don’t remember anything past her saying “It’s about these kids who see clowns watching them through their windows,” because I never stopped thinking about that sentence, for years. While I’ve still never actually seen Clownhouse, nor do I experience coulrophobia, the idea of being watched from a distance still creeps me out. I still close the blinds at night.

Initially, I wanted to compare “73 Yards,” to something like “It Follows,” or even “The Immortal Snail.” Both scenarios entail being tracked by a slow but relentless pursuer who kills you if it ever catches up to you. But “73 Yards,” isn’t so much a story about being pursued. It’s about feeling watched. It’s about feeling judged. It’s about feeling abandoned. It preys on our fear of being the subject of gossip. That people could spread lies about us that scare away our loved ones. The fear that maybe they’re right. Maybe we don’t deserve love. It’s about the ambiguity that sits within our hearts. The liminal threshold between us at our best and us at our worst. But it’s not just about the wicked and the divine, but also body and spirit. A foot in both worlds.

Doctor Who currently has a foot in both worlds. The Doctor steps on a science fictiony land mine one week, and the next week he’s stepping on fairy circles. A recurring theme in this new season is “look before you leap.” Or ‘watch your step.” Ruby steps on a butterfly in the past and changes species. The Doctor steps on a land mine and almost dies. And now, the Doctor steps on a fairy circle and disappears. The Doctor is learning to have a healthy respect for the new supernatural powers coursing through the Whoniverse. At least he would if he remembered anything from this adventure. Not even Ruby will learn a lesson here, so was it worth it?

After last week’s “Boom,” I was game for whatever Russell T Davies had in store for the future. The trailer for “73 Yards,” gave us very little to go on, and in hindsight, it’s pretty easy to see why. This was a Doctor-lite episode and therefore not a lot of footage to share that wouldn’t also spoil this being a Ruby-centric story. But I was ready for it. Ruby has been suffering a bit from underdevelopment as a character. I even saw a Chibnall stan on Twitter saying so, which is quite extreme when you consider how underdeveloped Yaz was. In Ruby’s case, however, it’s hard to pinpoint what it is about her that’s underdeveloped. She’s got a great family dynamic. She’s nurturing. She plays in a band. But who is she? Like River Song before her, her character arc is starting to affect her character development. And my interest is waning.

After the Doctor steps onto the fairy circle and disappears, Ruby unsuccessfully tries the TARDIS doors. She then checks around the other side to see if he’s having a pee. This may be the first time the show has canonically mentioned the Doctor goes to the bathroom. It’s funny to think of the great Time Lord having a slash off the edge of a cliff. The Doctor seems to do a lot of important things on cliff edges these days. Failing to find the Doctor, it’s then that Ruby notices a strange old woman standing under a creepy old tree from 73 yards away making some sort of hand gestures. However, the closer she walks toward the woman, the further she appears away.

The mechanism of how the woman moves is hidden by editing, but it feels like something Ruby would notice quickly. I don’t imagine Ruby walking closer would cause the woman to start backing up physically like that Community episode where Professor Duncan got a restraining order on Chang and used it like he had force powers. Instead, they cut back to the woman and she’s simply further away. Ruby is conveniently looking for footing every time, so she fails to see this. But if you started walking toward someone and they started hovering backwards, wouldn’t you find that weird? It’s not like she doesn’t sense something weird pretty early on. She even asks the woman if the Doctor’s disappearance has anything to do with her. She even asks the hiker (yet another character played by Susan Twist) if she can see the old woman.

Something I found interesting about the Susan Twist scene was that whoever her character is, she’s not immune to the effects of the old woman. Either that, or she’s lying. Either way, it feels important that we were shown her having the same reaction to the woman as everyone else. If she’s a magical trickster, she’s not an invincible one, or maybe she’s not magical at all. We’ve learned very little about Susan Twist’s character(s), but this indicates that she’s not fully in charge of the situation if she can be scared off like that. What’s frustrating is that the first time a character looks at her and says “Hey don’t I know you from somewhere?” it’s in an aborted timeline. I would have expected the Doctor to have made the connection after the ambulance screens in “Boom,” matched the woman from Space Babies, but maybe he’s been distracted by clothes.

By this point in the episode, I’ve been fully drawn in. Ruby finds her way to the small village of Glyngatwg and a pub called “Y Pren Marw,” which translates to “The Dead Wood.” I thought this might have been a reference to the weird tree on the cliff, but the illustration on the pub sign looked more like an oak tree, so I doubt it. Another name they could have used for the pub could have been “The Gaslight Inn,” because man oh man did they gaslight the hell out of Ruby. They keep accusing her of thinking they’re yokels for asking pretty innocuous questions. Asking if you can pay with your phone is perfectly reasonable. There’s a chippy in my village that does the best fish n chips in the area, but I never use them because they haven’t got a card machine and I don’t carry cash. I don’t imagine the owner of the chippy goes home every night in his Fred Flintstone car because of it. Maybe they’re worried they really are yokels. Either way, five quid for a Coke and abusive staff? What’s their Trip Advisor score? Negative six?

The only non-yokel in the pub is Enid and that’s solely because she’s played by Siân Phillips, who could never be mistaken for common. She was easily the highlight of the episode for me, sitting elegantly at the bar in her fashionable hat. Of all of the patrons at the bar, she’s the one I believe would coin the Latin phrase “semper distans,” to describe the way the old woman follows but never approaches. If only she could have taught Isaac Newton the word “gravitas.” Beyond being incredibly rude, I rather enjoyed the patrons of Y Pren Marw. They reminded me of characters you would have found in classic Doctor Who. The pub scenes reminded me a lot of “The Dæmons,” or “Terror of the Zygons.” But more than anything, this episode reminded me of “The Stones of Blood,” wherein things start like folk horror and end in a more mundane setting.

After Ruby’s unwanted follower scares away one of the pub’s most faithful patrons, she’s forced to head back to London, which is about where the episode starts to lose steam. Up until that moment, I was expecting a sort of witch coven or worse to spring up in the sleepy village of Glyngatwg. I was ready to call it RTD’s best ever. But now we’re back in London where the biggest mystery is Mrs Flood, and she’s really only there to remind us she exists. But that’s not to say a piece of Glyngatwg didn’t leave with Ruby, and it’s not to say I disliked the story’s ending. But there was a noticeable drop in excitement the moment Ruby boarded that train.

I found it odd that Carla and Cherry were badmouthing the Doctor in his absence. Cherry was ready to jump his bones the last time they spoke and now he’s good for nothing. I get that they want to support Ruby, but like, what if he’s hurt somewhere? All I’m saying is that if I ever go missing, please don’t send Carla and Cherry to find me. After telling Carla about the old woman, Ruby’s deepest fears are realised. Like Susan Twist and Josh before her, talking to the old woman causes her to abandon Ruby. The look Carla gives Ruby from the cab as it drives away is the last way anyone would want to be looked at by their loved one. It wasn’t a look of fear, it was a look of disgust.

It’s that look of disgust that really started to make me think of another story from the Whoniverse- “The Curse of Clyde Langer,” a Sarah Jane Adventures episode written by Phil Ford. In it, Clyde’s name becomes cursed and anyone who hears or reads it becomes irrationally opposed to Clyde. His friends and family disown him and it’s Clyde against the world, which is wild because Clyde’s one of my favourite characters in all of Doctor Who. Who could hate that precious cinnamon roll? Even further, who could forget that episode? Well, it turns out Davies was kinda hoping the answer would be you. I’m not saying Davies is out of ideas, but he seems to be “remixing,” a lot of what has come before. More on that in a moment.

After losing her family, Ruby gets on with life, but not before being given a spark of hope in the form of Kate Lethbridge-Stewart. We even learn some things about the old woman from Kate. We establish that yes, it is always 73 yards away. And no matter how close a person gets to her, she always looks as in focus as a person with 20/20 vision would see her from 73 yards. We also learn that the old woman’s “powers” work via headset, as Kate breaks contact with Ruby, leaving her devastated from losing yet another lifeline.

An interesting factoid about that scene is that Kate and Ruby were sitting across from “The House of Pi,” and Pi Day is the 73rd day of a non-leap year. Why do I know this? Because I went into a bit of a rabbit hole trying to learn about the number 73 yesterday. I looked into its mathematical significance. I learned it’s Sheldon Cooper’s favourite number. I looked it up in terms of numerology. I read the 73rd Psalm. There are 73 books in the Catholic Bible. But none of it felt significant. Then my dumbass googled whether RTD had explained the number, and he claimed it was as simple as going outside and measuring the distance from which people’s faces began to blur. Right. Well, that’s disappointing, albeit creative.

We’re treated to a montage of Ruby getting on with her life throughout the next couple of decades. Like the rest of us, her age starts to show itself with long hair and big glasses. I mentioned earlier that Ruby suffers a bit from a lack of character development and this montage does nothing to help that. She grows up into possibly one of the most boring people they could have made her. Her queer group of friends she has a band with seem to have disappeared. Her dating life is painfully heteronormative. She didn’t date a single woman throughout that time? She would have learned by now not to encourage her friends to talk to the old woman, and due to the perception filter, it’s not like anyone seemed to mind her anyhow. I’m just saying, if someone as normie as her started wearing a political shirt for the nuclear war-hungry Albion Party, I’d look at her and say “Pssh. Figures.”

Speaking of the Albion Party, it’s time we started talking about Harold Saxon. Oh, sorry, I meant Roger ap Gwilliam. The episode implies that Roger is the trickster “Mad Jack" who had escaped the fairy circle after the Doctor stepped on it. But Davies is remixing the classics, or as LCD Soundsystem puts it- “Shut up and play the hits.” He even mistreats women in the same way as the Master. I took this to be Doctor Who’s flimsy attempt at a comment on the MeToo movement. It would work better if ap Gwilliam was more than a moustache-twirling miscreant. Especially because Ruby throws poor Marti to the lions by not warning her away from Roger. If this is a MeToo story, Ruby is an enabler, which is not a great look. But she apologises so I guess it’s ok. Don’t worry Marti, your trauma gets erased anyhow.

While the campaigners prepare for a press conference for Roger ap Gwilliam to announce that Britain has purchased Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal, Ruby realises she’s out of time and needs to act now. Using her semper distans friend to her advantage, Ruby backs 73 yards away from Roger and sends him cowering and eventually resigning from his position as prime minister. Ruby expects this to be the end of the old woman, but she remains with her until the day she’s on her deathbed, at which point, the old woman changes from her perspective to Ruby’s. As the old woman, Ruby sees her young self and is able to call out to her and warn her about the fairy circle. That’s what happened, right?

Well, maybe? The biggest curveball comes in the form of the old woman herself. Because while Ruby does age to the ripe old age of 80, the actress playing her is Amanda Walker. The actress playing the woman is Hilary Hobson. Set pictures have also revealed Hobson in make-up that appears to be scarring going up the left side of her face. And those hand gestures of hers? Sign language. Eagle-eyed viewers have roughly translated her signing as “Bless you. Thank you so much, that's so kind of you. When you gave me that little thing, it was just so precious. How am I ever going to repay you? But we will think of something.” Perhaps this scarred woman is someone the Doctor and Ruby have yet to meet. Perhaps she repays them by warning them away from the fairy circle and saving both the Doctor and Ruby from a bizarre fate.

People seem divided by this episode in a major way, which is pretty normal for Doctor Who. But one of the more irritating takeaways I’ve seen is that the episode doesn’t make any sense. That’s only sort of true. There are some bootstrap paradox things occurring, which if you haven’t accepted as a reality of Doctor Who at this point, what are you even doing here? But what does the old woman say to Ruby? Where does the Doctor go? How does she travel back in time to the clifftops of Glyngatwg? Forgetting completely that we’re in a Doctor Who era which has introduced magic in a real way. But that’s a bit hand-wavy, can’t we do better? Well, they do mention that the TARDIS’s perception filter parked so close to the fairy circle might affect how people ignore the old woman. I liked this because it implies that the TARDIS and magic are somewhat compatible and therefore opens up new avenues for storytelling. You could also imply that if the TARDIS could affect the fairy circle, perhaps it can affect the TARDIS in turn. Maybe people reject Ruby because the warding spell placed on Mad Jack is affecting Ruby. Maybe Ruby needed to be in a position where she was so friendless that she would join the conservative party.

The episode may not have explicitly explained things, but it gives us enough of a vague framework to form an idea. As a fan of David Lynch, I am rather happy to exist in that liminal space. To straddle the cusp between the known and the unknown. It leaves an air of mystery, or as David Lynch would say “room to dream.” I will however slightly come down on the episode for its rather bland ending compared to its strong start. I don’t agree with the people who said it nosedives toward the end. But I would be lying if I said I lost a lot of interest the moment Ruby left Glyngatwg. Earlier, I compared the story to “The Stones of Blood,” but where the two stories differ is that when “The Stones of Blood,” changes its setting from the occult folk horror of the Cornish countryside, it replaces it with something equally strange.

That isn’t to say the jump to the year 2046 isn’t interesting. I’d be very curious to see how this story plays over the next few years. It acts as speculative fiction and the bizarre reality of speculative fiction is that it occasionally becomes mundane in hindsight. What once sounded unreasonable now feels painfully obvious. HBO’s “The Leftovers” hits different after the pandemic. Richard Kelly’s loony “Southand Tales,” feels tame after the 2016 election. Therein, I fear the day Roger ap Gwilliam becomes something more than a cartoonish depiction of British politicians. Partly because of the implied threat of nuclear devastation, but also because 2046 feels like a rather generous timeframe.

[astrronomemes]

THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE : STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 2000 Disney movie, The Emperor’s New Groove. change & alter as needed.

“Okay, this is the real me.”

“You threw off my groove!”

“Let me guess — you’ve got a great personality.”

“The emperor had me thrown out the window.”

“You really should have thought of that before you became peasants!”

“Hey, everybody hits their stride! You just hit yours fifty years ago.”

“Word on the street is, you can fix my problem. You can fix my problem, can’t you?”

“Oh, right, the poison! The poison for [name]! The poison chosen specially to kill [name]! [Name]’s poison! That poison?”

“Let’s face it, you’re no spring chicken. And I mean that in the best possible way.”

“You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike. You might think about relabeling some of them.”

“I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this.”

“Listen here, big guy, I’ve got three good reasons why you should just walk away.”

“Hope that doesn’t come back to haunt me.”

“Why would I kidnap a llama?!”

“You’re the criminal mastermind, not me!”

“Okay, that was the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Don’t worry, [name], I’ve got you! You’re safe now!”

“Maybe I’m just new to this whole ‘rescuing’ thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn’t you say?”

“For the last time, it was not a kiss.”

“Someday, you’re gonna wind up all alone, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

“Well, he ain’t gettin’ any deader. Back to work.”

“You can’t get much deader than he is right now! Unless, of course, we killed him again!”

“Well, he’s not as dead as we would have hoped.”

“You know that means you’re doing something nice for someone else?”

“Well, I was going to have you imprisoned for life, but... I kinda like this better.”

“I thought you were a changed man!”

“I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but you’ve proved me wrong!”

“Well, that makes you ugly, and stupid.”

“You’re just gonna have to trust me.”

“Don’t read too much into it. It was a one-time thing.”

“What are the chances of you carrying me?”

“No, no, it’s not you. She’s not the easiest person to get close to. There’s a wall there, trust me.”

“When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?”

“We’ve been walking around in circles for who knows how long! That is the last time we’re taking directions from a squirrel!”

“It’s a simple question! Is there or is there not anything edible on this menu?”

“They saw the whole thing. They know what happened.”

“Oh, yeah... it’s all coming together.”

“As much as he tries to deny it, I know there’s some good in him.”

“From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward.”

“Hey, I’ve been turned into a cow. Can I go home?”

“For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline!”

“Stop being so hard on yourself! All is forgiven.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve been tossed out a window, and it won’t be the last!”