#WHY would it prolong life if it heals you quicker

[doodles-and-oodles]

Question. Wouldn’t accelerated healing mean you age FASTER than normal bc it’s through cell replication and failed cell replication that we age?

[westwingwolf]

Why the Chenford Break Up Era Needs to Come to a Close Sooner Rather than Later on The Rookie...

I've expressed my opinion on the Chenford break over several long posts in the Chenford Discord. I'm sure I've annoyed them plenty with my thoughts, but I needed a place to vent so thank you for being patient with me and letting me rant. I swear I am trying to do better, but maybe getting all of my thoughts out in once place will finally calm the beast inside me enough to hold back any further ranting. This post will focus on what should come next after the break up, and not my opinions on whether the break up should have happened at all. It's over. It's done. We're here now, and I have to accept that so I can move on to enjoy what comes next.

Anyways, I thought I would collect all my thoughts here for those of you who are not in the discord. Whether you agree or disagree with me, that's fine. I'm making this public so I know I am opening myself up to disagreements. Just know I'm likely to respond if I can, and I'm less likely to give up discussing my opinion until long after it is necessary. So fair warning, everyone should proceed with caution.

On the highly unlikely chance that someone involved with the show sees this and it makes them think about what stories the show wants to tell, then feel free to share.

I foresee this getting long as the introduction is already this long, so proceed behind the cut if you dare... (Spoiler alert: it is very long.)

First off in most typical break up storylines on television (Because keep in mind I am strictly talking about how these storylines are portrayed in fiction for maximum dramatic effect. Real life is a totally different thing.) , there are certain elements that play out in a break up that is always meant to be temporary. And make no mistake, I do believe this break up is temporary. I refuse to believe otherwise. It's just a matter of how temporary will it be. I must also commend the writers for hitting these elements in a quicker fashion than I expected. (Whether that turns out to be a good thing or not depends on what comes next, but for now I like it.)

Avoiding each other and thereby avoiding fixing the issues that caused the break up. This element is the biggest key in determining how long the break up can last. The longer the characters avoid talking to each other, the longer the break up can go on without being resolved. As we saw in 607 Crushed, Tim didn't want to talk about it while Lucy did. This set the stage for avoiding the issue. This could have gone on longer with Tim digging his heals in to avoid addressing the issue by first refusing to admit to it, but Tim actually did the adult thing and sought out help. Because he had been thinking about needing help all day and because Lucy gave him that final push to get it when he still wanted to avoid talking to her about their issues. That dramatically cuts into the waiting time of couples getting to the point where they can talk about their problems.

Pining for each other. I will admit I thought 608 and 609 were going to be episodes where Tim and Lucy avoided each other entirely to prolong more of this break up by not having them interact at all, but I was pleasantly surprised and glad to be proven wrong. They had their nice pining and awkward moment in Grey's office in 608 Punch Card. Tim spends time thinking about Lucy and being reminded of her birthday. That leads to the very sweet Kojo Birthday Card moment which leads to an even bigger moment of pining for each other in the hall.

Putting aside the relationship problems to help each other and be vulnerable with each other. In 609 The Squeeze even though Lucy is still hurt by the break up, she knows Tim is going through a lot, and so she does what she can to comfort him. Thereby showing that Lucy is still the one who brings out the most vulnerable side of Tim. He put on brave face for Grey and Angela and everyone else, but that moment of melting into Lucy's arms and answering that he is okay now that she's holding him showed just how much he was trying to hold it all in. And he immediately goes back to his brave front once the elevator doors open. Tim has always been his most vulnerable with Lucy and that doesn't change whether they are together or not. Like the Kojo Birthday Card moment, this shows that they still care about one another and they don't let anger from/resentment of/shame about the break up stop them from showing that they care.

Working together in spite of the break up. I was surprised by how quickly they had them working together after their break up. I knew thanks to spoilers that they would have scenes together in 610 Escape Plan, but I expected group scenes. I didn't expect the car scene. Talking about Tim's therapy. Joking about their sex life. They seemed more at ease together after a break up than I thought they would be. Which makes it hard to believe they can go back to any of the major awkwardness from before. A scene like where they can barely speak to each other in Grey's office coming after this kind of moment won't make much sense. Therefore they have to be out of the awkward post break up phase. Again something that significantly cuts down the timeline in delaying getting back together.

Having the talk about their issues or at least getting close to the talk. Now, Tim and Lucy haven't had the full discussion about the breakdown of their relationship and all of Tim's issues. But they are closer to having it 610 then they were back in 607. With Tim going to therapy, with the sense that he wants to continue therapy despite having a psychotic blackmailing therapist, and with the apology he gave Lucy in the elevator along with his promise to repay her kindness in whatever small doses she'll allow; all of that indicates that he is finally in a place to have the necessary discussion about why they broke up. And Lucy wanted to have this talk back in 607 so there no longer seems to be a reason to delay it.

So now with all the steps that The Rookie has already shown through the Chenford break up, it's time to think about what comes next. Typically once the characters finally have the talk about why they broke up, they tend to talk about if they can get back together. We know the show is going to have do a little bit of time jump. A couple of weeks at most. If they want the audience to see this discussion, they'll have to come up with a reason for why they delayed it instead having it almost immediately when the door was open for them to have it at least the next day after that elevation conversation. Which I will allow if only because I really want to see it. If you remember when Wopez broke up in season one; they indicated they needed to talk about their relationship, then the talk they had was off screen and the next time we saw them they were back together. Great for them, but after the emphasis on how important is is that Chenford needs to talk to each other about why Tim broke up with Lucy, I want to see it. So I'm willing to go along with Lucy needed a couple of weeks to wrap her head around the idea and gather her thoughts to confront Tim.

What I will not understand is if Lucy or Tim decide to delay this talk for a long period of time. Lucy wanted to have the talk from the beginning. Tim wasn't ready but there is clear indication that his ready now. In order for Lucy to have agency in this situation and regain the balance that she lost when Tim unilaterally decided to break them up, I do think Lucy needs to be the one to say she wants to talk about their relationship. I don't want it to be like Tim saying "I'm ready to talk about our relationship" and Lucy to respond with "Oh, now you're ready?!" Because she would have a right to be mad. And if Tim is being true about letting Lucy take the lead by accepting his proving how much he appreciates her in however she will allow, then he has to wait for her to make that decision. I can't see Lucy delaying for whatever reason for too long. Even if she is still hurt by his actions, her curiosity about the cause of the break up is too much for her to let it go indefinitely. Think about how she was in 607 where she was desperate to know why. Think about her behavior after Emmett broke up with her, and this is Tim. She cares about Tim way more than she ever cared about Emmett. If nothing else, that need to know why is strong in her.

Having the discussion about the break up has a huge impact on whether or not the break up storyline can continued to be prolonged or not. As long as they avoid having the discussion, the longer they can delay the characters getting back together. But Chenford has already reached the logical point where they should have the discussion. As I've shown above it doesn't make sense for Tim or Lucy to want to delay it, so it cannot work for character reasons. It also doesn't make much sense for storyline reasons because they've already done everything else they can possibly do during a typical break up storyline as I explained above. This is literally the last step. Any delay would strictly be done to drive the viewers crazy, and when your writing becomes so obvious as to manipulate an emotional response from the audience it veers into bad writing territory. Always try to keep the writing more subtle so that it works for a character or a storyline, and not so you can see the pipe laid out easily for the viewer.

Now that I've explained why they have to have the discussion right away, I will talk about how I think it should be handled and what I would like to happen because of it. And when I say right away, I mean season 7 premiere. I'll give them until 702 if they have a lot going on action wise, but no more wasting time after that.

As I said, I want Lucy to have agency. That means she decides when they have this discussion. That also means giving her a lot more control in what happens because of the discussion. I understand her heart is broken. Her trust in Tim is broken. However, I do not believe the answer in fixing any of that is by her deciding not to give Tim another chance right away. Her agency isn't going to be affected by her deciding to stay broken up with Tim. She doesn't somehow get more power or power back because she decides they can't be together right now. I also don't see Lucy punishing herself or Tim because she is hurt and angry. That's Tim behavior, not Lucy behavior. If she loves him, if she wants to be with him, then she will want to fight for them. Also she has a psychology background, is she really going to let Tim suffer because he was going through an identity crisis? Is that at all true the nature of one of the most empathetic characters on the show? Lucy's agency comes in guiding the story and taking control. If anything delaying getting back together, only keeps her level of agency in the relationship/break up at where it was before. If she chooses not to get back together with Tim now, then what will drive her to make that choice later? Something he does to change her mind? Some unknown time when she suddenly feels "ready"? Neither of those options show me she has control. True agency in her relationship is her saying "I want to be with you, but things in our relationship have to change for the better, and this is how I want to make those changes happen."

Which leads to the what I hope comes next. I want to see Tim and Lucy actually working on their relationship. I don't want them going the route of "Everything is better now that we had that break up and got back together so we never have to discuss the problems that led to our break up again." Like what was essentially done to Wopez. Or how every now and then Nolan kind of snarkily brings back up the fact that Bailey hid the truth about Jason from him, and when he does she looks like she wants to beat him over the head with a bat. Actually working on fixing the relationship is more interesting a storyline that prolonging a break up as long as possible only to pretend like everything is okay afterwards because getting back together somehow miraculously solved all their problems. The writers and actors told us the importance of this storyline was to show them as a real couple with real problems. Well, a real couple that wants to be together is going to work on their problems if they have any hope of staying together so show me Chenford working on their problems.

One way to show me Chenford working on their problems is through couple's therapy. I think watching Tim and Lucy in couple's therapy would be funny, heartwarming, and dramatically tension filled with angst when necessary. And there doesn't have to be a lot of sessions. At least not a lot shown. Alexi mentioned not wanting to do the static, almost repetitive nature of Tim in therapy even though theoretically he does want to show ways that Tim has continued therapy. So really all that is needed is one episode of Tim and Lucy in therapy. Bookend the scenes of the episode with the first meeting is them being funny and awkward about it. And the final scene has the more raw and emotional moments that are tough to watch but get them understanding each other better. Then the rest of the episodes all they have to do is talk about what they learned or discussed in therapy or trying some exorcises to improve communication and intimacy.

No matter what Tim and Lucy do to fix their relationship, one thing that is absolutely necessary is to show Tim's growth. He started showing this in the elevator scene in 610 by willingly be more emotionally vulnerable with Lucy. It's never been about that Tim can't be emotionally vulnerable with her. He's more vulnerable with her than anyone. It's about Tim willing to put himself out there without Lucy having to ask or work to pull his feelings out of him. He pushes his feelings down so much that he doesn't ask for help when he needs. He needs to learn to ask for help. And he needs to learn to accept that help when it is offered. I would like to see Tim have another personal crisis, but this time instead of hiding and ghosting Lucy, he tells her about it immediately. She doesn't even have to ask or notice that something is off about him, he just tells her that he has problem and he wants her help in whatever way she can help him. That shows that Tim has grown and that he trusts Lucy to allow her to see the messy parts of himself. We know Lucy has seen plenty of the messy side of Tim and still loves him, but there is a part of Tim who is still afraid Lucy will walk away if he causes too much trouble. That's part of the reason he broke up with her. As much as he wanted to protect her, he also wanted to protect himself by not having her walking away from him. In his mind he lost Isabel because he didn't do enough and she said that living up to his standards was too much for her. He lost Rachel because he couldn't move for her job, and she couldn't give up that opportunity either. He lost Ashley because he couldn't give up being a cop, and she couldn't deal with that kind of life for him. Time and again has shown him that he isn't enough for people all the way back to probably feeling like is some kind of disappoint to his dad. And anyone who stays with him is going to be dragged down by him. The sad irony in that Lucy feels the same way in how her parents treat her. Lucy is the person who can understand Tim the most and love him for all of it. So an opportunity for Tim to willingly put himself out there for Lucy would be a great turning point in their relationship to show it has changed for the better.

Now you are thinking, well once everything is fine between Tim and Lucy isn't that going to make things boring again and put us right back to where we were before? I would argue that things were never boring, but if you are asking if it is not better to prolong the break up so that at least Tim and Lucy have a storyline filled with tension rather than things going back to being good between them again, I say no for these reasons:

Because the working through their problems storyline is filled with tension and needs to happen. It is still wrought with tension of whether or not it will work out. Arguably more so than just waiting to see if they will change their minds about getting back together. Working on their issues means putting all those problems right back in the forefront. It means talking about them instead of avoiding them. It's raw and messy and potentially shows all the cracks in the relationship that has to be repaired.

A longer delay in getting back together means we are less likely to see them actually work on their problems. If God forbid, they take a whole season for Tim and Lucy to decide to get back together, then we don't get any of that. If we manage to get a season 8, and Tim and Lucy don't get back together until the season 7 finale, then what is likely to happen is we come back to season 8 with them saying they worked it all, are fine, and will go on happily with their lives. Which is great, but I'm still going to be pissed that I had to endure a season and a half of a break up and I didn't even get to see the effort of them working on their problems. And if we don't get a season 8, if the writers find out near the end of this season that it is their last and they spent so much time on this break up, then what we get is a rushed getting back together to leave us satisfied that they are together but not particularly happy in the execution of it.

Once they are back together, and even if they are happy, they still have other issues that could cause them problems. One is Lucy wants to work undercover. The other is the chain of command issue. These problems only have significance to Tim and Lucy's relationship if they are together. If Lucy goes undercover while her and Tim are broken up, Tim is probably still worried about her, but there isn't much he can do about it. If they are broken up, Lucy not being around because of UC is no different than Lucy not being around because they are broken up. It doesn't really capitalize on all the problems between them if they aren't together to make it an issue. Same with the chain of command problem. Doesn't really matter if they aren't together. Neither of these issues can be tackled to their full extent by the writers is Chenford is not back together first. And if these problems are solved before Chenford get back together, then it's taking away a potential storyline when Chenford inevitably gets back together. Becomes a little too easy for them if Lucy get a job out of being under Tim's chain of command and decides she doesn't want to do UC anymore before she gets back together with Tim. So get them back together sooner, and they can address the storyline sooner.

Now here we are at what storylines can Tim and Lucy have after they are back together, have worked out their problems, and seem to be in a good place.

1.) The chain of command issue: I get that it was a whole thing in 5B and eventually led to Metro Tim. Sadly, because I think the writers really do want to put focus on either Patrol or Detectives, that means no more Metro Tim. If we are all honest with ourselves, as much as we love Metro Tim, the show wasn't really do enough with him in Metro. They spent just as many storylines, if not more, figuring out how to get Tim back on Patrol and/or working with Lucy as they did doing his own Metro thing. For this reason, I think Tim is going to remain on Patrol until the end or when they promote/retire Grey so Tim becomes Watch Commander (which I hope also isn't until the end if they decide to retire Grey.) They came up with a storyline that still doesn't make any sense to me to keep Lucy from getting promoted to Detective in order to keep her on Patrol so I assume that means they want her to remain on Patrol for as long as possible too. (Seriously, Primm, you got promoted and presumably a position you wanted because of Lucy so take your male ego and shove it up your ass.) So that means Tim and Lucy both on Patrol for the foreseeable future. As mentioned above this isn't an issue for them until they get back together so it's not an issue the writers need to address until they get back together. And no point in fixing it prior to that if they want to have the storyline. But how to fix it?

Simple answer: Sergeant Grey says it is okay for them to date. Yeah, that seems to fly in the face of making it an issue the first time around. But Grey was also there for that time. He saw what Tim and Lucy were willing to sacrifice to be together. He saw what those sacrifices ultimately led to. He paired them to work together even when they were dating and knows they can still work together well. They weren't too terrible even during the adjustment period of their break up so he didn't have to say anything more than once about making it work. If he sees them working just as well together as they are broken up, and none of it causes problems, then he can make the call to let them date. Chain of command issue be damned if he says it is not a problem. Especially if he doesn't want to lose one or two of his best officers. At this point, Chenford has been through enough so who is really going to care? Are the fans going to put up a big fuss if it means if we get to see Tim and Lucy not only dating but also working together? If the writers insist they have to remain on Patrol, then this is a concession they have to give us to make it work.

More complicated answer: Promotions As unlikely as it seems, I say just give everyone the necessary promotions. That starts with promoting Grey to captain. (Shh. I don't care about Lieutenant. ) Grey has been treated like the show's captain since Captain Andersen died. He is always in charge for the big events. Angela and Nyla go to Grey to talk about cases even though he isn't their boss anymore because they work in the Detective department. When Tim got promoted and worked in Metro, he was the same rank as Grey and answered to Pine, and yet somehow he usually answered to Grey anyway. The LAPD is currently going through a big shake up; some higher ups were probably compromised with this whole blackmail scandal. I'm sure one or two captains could have lost their jobs/rank. Promoting Grey wouldn't really change anything storywise in terms of what he does, but it would make more sense. Once Grey is promoted, Tim becomes Watch Commander. During this time Lucy takes the sergeant exam and passes easily. Grey creates a position in which Lucy is now his aide. She becomes his right hand woman when crisis mode. She can work on Patrol as sort of a liason role like Tim had in Metro so she can keep doing Patrol storylines. And if Grey is okay with it, she can even do some undercover work when necessary. It keeps Lucy available for all potential storylines while also giving her a well deserved promotion. And she will officially be under Grey's chain of command only and not Tim's.

2.) Tim and Lucy moving in together storyline. Once Tim and Lucy are back together, things get awkward for Celina as she now takes over Tamara's role of constantly catching Tim and Lucy in the middle of kissing. And maybe other things. Only a thousands time worse for everyone because Tim is Celina's boss and they all work together. Celina doesn't want to know that much about her boss/coworker's sex life, and they wouldn't like her knowing about it either. So after some very humorous and awkward moments, Tim and Lucy discuss moving in together. Are they prepared for this? Are in they in a good place after their break up? (Which is another reason they should get back together soon rather than later so there is more time between being in a good place and moving in together so it makes more sense.) Do they want to move in together to a place they already have or find a new place all together that is all their own? If they find a new place, they don't have to worry about Tim's home looking different yet again. That's at least two or three episodes. Build up the awkwardness with Celina, have the discussion about moving in, finding a place and moving in.

3.) Lucy getting a longterm undercover assignment opportunity. This storyline would ideally happen just as Tim and Lucy feel happy and secure in their relationship and have taken a big step like moving in together. They finally have to discuss what this means for them and if they truly can handle it. I think Lucy will have to take it and they will be able to make it work because they've put in all the effort that came before with working on repairing their relationship to make it stronger. If the show gets an 8th season, I can see this as a cliffhanger so that they can use the break between seasons to be a time jump so Lucy can be UC for months without having to isolate her for too long from the rest of the characters. Come back in the season 8 premiere with the end of the assignment winding down to an big action packed finish worthy of a premiere. And then Lucy decides she hates the isolation of longterm UC because she is a social person who needs to be around the people she loves. So she never does longterm UC again, and it is no longer an issue for Tim and Lucy. If this is the final season, then same storyline and outcome but sped up over a few episodes with an even more dramatic conclusion of Tim & Lucy hating being apart so they decide to get married.

And finally, I present you with the additional benefits of getting Tim and Lucy back together sooner rather later:

Secret Dating Era Redux: Tim and Lucy hiding their relationship once again, but this time it's more difficult and potentially more funny. Tim sneaking out of Lucy's apartment early in the morning without getting caught by Celina. Tim and Lucy having to act sad about being broken up even though they are back together. Other people trying to set them up in front of each other, and having to come up with excuses to say no. All coming to the ultimate conclusion where everyone finds out they are dating again. Just want the fans wanted: the everyone finds out reveal. I say Nolan should still be the last to know.

Tim finds out out Lucy dated Nolan: Maybe it comes up in their therapy sessions. Maybe Lucy mentions it when she talks about the issue with dating a cop. Whatever the way it happens, it's best if Tim and Lucy are together when he finds outs to really milk it for a potential issue. Also great to see Tim finding ways to take out his annoyance about it on Nolan. Bonus points if it if happens during the secret dating era redux so Nolan has no idea why Tim is mad at him.

Tim and Lucy having fun arguments again: Comparing their first date to their second first date or whether it's their second second first date. What counts as their anniversary? When they started dating? When they started dating again? Do they have two anniversaries? Does Lucy only want two anniversaries because she wants twice as many presents? The list goes on and on for how they can try to put humor into the idea of the break up once they know they are going to be okay after getting back together.

So there you have all my reasons for why and how Tim and Lucy should get back together sooner rather than later. I know we all want them pining for each other. I get it, but ask yourself how much time do you really want to wait to see them get back together. After the initial break up, there was a three week break of no new episodes, then four episodes where they are broken up, and now we wait 8 months just to see season 7. So that's 10 months of dealing with this break up already, and we don’t even know how much longer it will take. Do you want to wait even longer or do you want to see Tim and Lucy fix their relationship as soon as possible?

As a treat for those who suffered through this long ass rambling of my thoughts, I present you with a snippet of my new multichapter fic which I hope to finish soon so I can begin posting it in July. It's a Chenford fic based on the Once Upon A Time tv series concept. Basically if fairy tale characters were in the real world.

After they finish their meals, Lucy brings Tamara a pillow and a blanket for the night. When Tim sees that she has brought a second pillow and blanket for herself, he asks, “What do you think you are doing?”

“Staying the night with Tamara,” Lucy answers plainly like that should be obvious.

“This isn’t a slumber party. She is still our prisoner. You actually have to guard her,” Tim insists.

Lucy scoffs in disbelief. “You don’t trust me to do my job?”

“I trust you implicitly. I don’t trust her,” he points at Tamara, “not to give you some sob story that tugs at your heartstrings and has you handing over the keys.”

“You know what? Fine.” Lucy takes said keys and opens the cell. Stepping inside she throws down her pillow and blanket on the other bed. She then reaches her arm through the bars to lock the door from the inside before tossing the keys back to Tim. “You can let me out in the morning, and not have to worry about our prisoner escaping in the middle of the night.”

“And what are you going to do if there is a fire or an earthquake?” Tim asks smugly, thinking he has the upper hand.

Lucy shrugs as she challenges him on that unlikely scenario. “I guess I’ll have to trust that you can race back here quickly enough to let us out before the building crashes down on us.”

Tim doesn’t respond. Instead he leaves, and Tamara thinks he is admitting defeat and going home. But he quickly returns with his own pillow. “Just how many pillows does Smitty keep in this place?”

“Enough to build a fort,” Lucy answers as she sets up her bed. Not surprised at all that Tim is choosing to stay.

“Figures,” Tim responds as he puts his feet up on the desk while situating his pillow between his head and his chair. “Don’t stay up too late gossiping. We have a trial to attend in the morning.”

Lucy shakes her head, but fondly tells him, “Goodnight, sir.”

Tim answers with a grunt and nothing more.

Lucy seems less interested in gossiping and more interested in telling ghost stories. “Have you ever heard the one about Gracey Manor? It’s a local legend about the mansion that rests on the highest hill at the edge of town.”

Tamara and Lucy spend the next couple of hours talking and playing with a deck of cards Lucy brought with her. When they finally do go to sleep, Tim’s eyes are still closed, but Tamara has the sneaking suspicion that he is only resting his eyes. That if any trouble were to happen in the middle of the night, he would awake alert and ready to perform his duties. She knows her own experiences have kept her mindful of never allowing herself to fall too deep into sleep, but she can only wonder why Sheriff Bradford would learn such behavior.

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Little Bite #36

This is not a typical little bite drabble or draft, but I have these short HCs for all seven on what gaining from a lack of control over their eating would look like that I've developed and wanted to share.

Feel free to share your own or send ideas expanding on these if you would like! ---

Jin

Jin has always eaten for enjoyment and pleasure yet with moderation and control. He grew up wanting for very little in a well-off family though that also came with the expectation of appearance. Not necessarily fitting an image of fit and slim, but it did carry a tone of requiring politeness and control - never a social setting acceptable to appear gluttonous or improper. 

Once on his own with less reason to ‘perform’ for his family and more independence to make his own choices, Jin explored his hobbies and tastes with a seemingly endless budget. If he wanted to try a new restaurant or attempt a new recipe, nothing was stopping him. He already had an indulgent personality and the newfound freedom did little for his flimsy willpower. 

Replacing clothes, stocking his kitchen, and ordering food when he didn’t want to cook wasn’t even a thought because he was enjoying himself. Life is nothing without happiness and if food is his happiness at the moment, why limit it? Hitting limits like physical comfort, burdening insecurity, and addressing concerns about his weight are problems for future Jin.

Yoongi

Yoongi is completely unaware of his appetite capabilities leading to him becoming reliant on food for contentedness, a feeling he is chasing more and more as time goes on.

The realization of lack of control and gaining is a surprise, but it also does little to disrupt his habits because the warmth and comfort of finally being content that comes with being full or even just sturdier is ten times better than caring about his appearance. 

Indulging also brings in a newfound sense of connection that he lacked with his habits of overworking and isolation. Social interactions with his close people often center around food which is where the slip into overeating begins.

He finds himself craving those feelings even when he is alone and that is when eating becomes a desired comfort rather than a basic necessity. Yoongi will eventually take on the mindset that gaining weight is a show of his comfort and that is more than acceptable for him.

Hoseok

Hobi is the picture-perfect image of control. All aspects of his personality and life reflect his natural ability to lead, maintain, and dictate. Control is something that brings him peace and security which is why he exercises it so freely yet firmly. Little he does in life threatens his control which is an active choice he makes to ensure it stays intact. 

However, as life is for everyone, one cannot control everything. When something enters Hobi’s life that completely removes his control, he becomes reactive and impulsive to do anything to get that control back as soon as possible.

If something were to happen physically like getting injured or dealing with a minor but prolonged illness, he would take any advice to ‘fix’ what he can. Being forced to make changes and adjust his routines due to this new obstacle taking control would frustrate him in ways almost nothing can touch his strong resolve. 

Hobi does nothing casually, the full effort being made in all his choices so if the advice is to bulk up and regain his strength to heal and return to normal life quicker, he would take drastic action to make that happen. In his haste to take his control over his life back, Hobi unintentionally dismantles his control surrounding food.

Namjoon

Namjoon views everything in life to have purpose and eating is fuel for him in all ways. He may even start with the feeling that food is fuel for physical needs, but stress would bring on an attitude that food is also fuel for his mind and emotions. This shift in thinking would turn him from an intentional and functional eater to an unintentional and reactive eater. 

Namjoon would also have a surface-level apathy toward body expectations where outwardly he doesn't buy into expectations and his body can look however it looks without consideration of other people.

Although internally, he slowly falls into a spiral about the way his body is changing as well as how his thoughts and feelings are changing. In response to his emotional spiral, the overeating continues and even increases almost in a way to prove to himself that it’s okay.

Jimin

Jimin is all too knowing of his appetite capabilities, but he is truly unable to control it once he lets his restrictions drop. He is unable to get the control back in place after realizing how far he's gone, but he also a small shameful part of him is uninterested in regaining that control.

There is a level of relief Jimin feels in giving up his restrictive, unhealthy mindset that he cannot reach with any other coping mechanism. Nothing brings him quite the same comfort as undoing the long and often painful methods of maintaining his once concerningly small physique.

While the weight gain isn’t entirely healthy for him mentally either, there is no longer any physical weakness or devastating lack of energy so he will endure the other end of the spectrum mentally to avoid restricting himself.

With time, he would eventually begin to regain his confidence and accept the happiness that enjoying food freely brings him. It's clear that given how his body and mind reacted, giving up that intense control over his weight was actually better for him even if he is much bigger now than he ever imagined he would be.

Taehyung

Taehyung is an artist at heart and would find an ‘experience’ in everything, even a simple meal. He is also a social butterfly and saying yes to those experiences at new places with old friends or well-loved places with new friends brings him joy. So what if he goes out for every meal in a single day if it was with people he loves?

It isn’t so much of a lack of control in terms of eating for Taehyung, it’s that he allows his want for connection to outweigh the signals from his brain and body that he’s eaten enough. Social eating and drinking can be mindless and longer than an averagely proportioned dinner at home.

No matter the consequences, regaining his control over food is not something Taehyung is interested in when his relationships are thriving more than ever, and deep down, he knows that putting those limits on himself would be no easy feat. 

Taehyung likes to tell himself that overeating and poor food choices only happen when he is out with people, but if he were honest with himself, he would acknowledge that those habits start happening at home pretty quickly.

Ordering out for almost every meal is his routine and those orders get bigger and bigger over time. He can’t even simply talk on the phone or have a friend over for a casual afternoon chat without wanting to eat.

Jungkook

Having a big appetite has been Jungkook’s normal his entire life. In his teenage years, it was as if he could never actually feel full, but it also did not look as if he was eating enough for a family of four in a single day. A hyperactive lifestyle and unbelievably high metabolism made gaining weight the farthest thing from his mind. 

Jungkook was also a homebody, attached to his routine and safety net. Any disruption of those brought on debilitating episodes of anxiety until he adjusted. Major life changes like moving away for college, losing loved ones, or prolonged tension between people he was close with could completely disrupt his ‘normal’. 

Jungkook had tried many things and finally found that eating was a bigger comfort than he realized. The feeling of being heavier, that warm fullness, is unexpectedly grounding so overeating becomes a coping mechanism for his anxiety.

Unfortunately, growing older means many parts of his life become more sedentary and his metabolism ages with him so while his coping mechanism helps him more than anything else mentally, it becomes quite a problem for his waistline.

[ink-nurse]

Protecting Your Tattoo From Sun Damage

Tattoos & The Sun: How To Protect A New Tattoo From Sun Damage

There are a wide range of factors that can alter the vibrancy and crispness of your body art as the years go by, but ultimately nothing will cause a blurred and damaged tattoo quite like the effect of the sun.

Most of us have experienced the nasty sting of sunburn and (should, by now) know the importance of sun-safety, especially in climates as harsh as Australia. Many people, despite being equipped with this knowledge, aren't aware that these sun-safe tips also apply to taking care of your body art.

If you have some new ink and you're concerned about the dangers of the sun's UV rays, then read on as we explain sun damaged tattoos, how best to avoid them, and what to do if your ink has already seen a little too much sunlight.

How sun exposure can lead to a blurred, damaged tattoo

When a new tattoo is being drawn on the skin, essentially what's happening is that multiple needles are injecting coloured ink pigments directly into the dermis (middle layer) of your skin. When your skin is exposed to the sunlight, the sun's ultraviolet rays (UVA and UVB) tend to penetrate both the top layer (epidermis) and dermis. This is when the ink pigments begin to separate and break down, resulting in faded, blurred, or distorted body art.

Why is it important to of protect a new tattoo from the sun?

Aside from infection, too much sunlight is the worst thing that can happen to a tattoo during its healing stage. It's important to remember that until the scabbing process of your tattoo is complete, it is technically classified as an unprotected open wound. When exposing an open wound (new tattoo) to the sun, it is exposed to the risk of sunburn which will damage the tattoo far quicker than healed skin. If this happens, the best-case scenario is a prolonged healing time for your tattoo. In more extreme cases, a tattoo damaged by the sun during its healing process may result in permanent distortion in the lines and colouring of your ink.

What can I use to protect my tattoo from the sun?

When your tattoos have completely healed, it's imperative to treat these areas of skin just as you would any other part of your body. This doesn't mean spending the rest of your life in dark and shady places in order to preserve the vibrancy of your ink, however, the less exposure your skin has to UV rays, the better. To make the most of your fun in the sun without constantly stressing about the dangers of excessive sunlight, it's best to stick to these rules:

Wear sun-protective clothing and a hat

Apply a generous amount of SPF30 (or higher) sunscreen, at least 20 minutes before going outside

Stick to shady areas when possible

How to protect a new tattoo from the sun

During its initial healing stages (until the itching and scabbing process is complete), it's best to keep your tattoo completely out of direct contact with sunlight. It's also essential that during this stage of healing, no sunscreen is applied to your tattoo as this may result in an allergic reaction or infection. If need be, you can use more than one measure of protection to ensure your tattoo is covered, such as use of a breathable bandage as well as loose, sun-protective clothing.

How to treat sunburn on a new tattoo

If (despite your best intentions) you realise that the area of skin around your new tattoo has become sunburnt, the first step is moving from the sun and into the shade as quickly as possible. Once you've done this, attempt to cool your skin down with a cold shower (never take a bath while your ink is healing as this can result in infection). Once your skin has been thoroughly cleaned and cooled off, gently apply our moisturising remedy cream to the affected area in order to rehydrate your skin.

It's also important to remember that hydrated skin requires a hydrated body. To further ensure the restoration of your skin, make sure you're maintaining healthy fluid levels by drinking plenty of water during recovery periods.

How to fix a sun damaged tattoo

It's important to remember that sun damage to tattoos is permanent and cannot be fully reversed. However, if you have an older tattoo that's seen too much sunlight, there are a couple of options available to help restore its appearance. Here's what you can do the fix the appearance of a sun damaged tattoo:

Touch-up or rework:

If the tattoo has only been slightly affected by the sun, a touch-up or rework session with a professional tattoo artist can help restore its original appearance.

Tattoo removal:

If the damage is severe, tattoo removal may be necessary. This process involves the use of a laser to break down the pigment in the skin. It's important to note that this process can be painful and may cause scarring.

Camouflage tattoo:

Another option is to have a professional artist cover the damaged area with a new tattoo. This is known as a camouflage tattoo and can help hide the damage and improve the overall appearance of your tattoo.

Reference Link: https://ink-nurse.com/blogs/tattoo-info/protecting-your-tattoo-from-sun-damage

[hongism]

the little things - k. hongjoong

↣ pairing: hongjoong x reader; ft. seonghwa, san, mentioned poly ot8 x reader ↣ genre: sfw, fluff, slight angst, fantasy au, witch ateez au ↣ wc: 3.8k ↣ summary: a job doesn’t go as planned for hongjoong, and you’re left to pick up the pieces ↣ warnings: mentioned illness and death

Hongjoong arguably has the hardest job out of anyone in the coven. You are well aware of that, and the pressure he feels from being the leader of the coven doesn’t help one bit, especially since the majority of the public eye’s judgment falls on his shoulders. He would never admit it out loud, but that pains him quite a bit, even if he is willing to take the judgment of others so his coven doesn’t have to. Seonghwa helps in those moments of weakness, lulling Hongjoong to sleep with a quick spell or trying a myriad of other things to calm the man, but it must be worse than usual for Seonghwa to call on you to help with the issue.

Hongjoong’s magic is draining mostly due to the fact that he is eclectic and likes to dabble in everything. Some spells take more out of him than others, some take no effort, and others require days if not weeks of recovery time. Now, however, there seems to be a different issue.

“A job went south.” That’s the only explanation you got from Seonghwa, but the small shake of his head told you all you needed to know. Because jobs don’t just go south for Hongjoong.

That is what lands you here — steps outside Hongjoong’s room with hand raised and ready to rap roughly against the wood several times. You aren’t sure what awaits you inside, but considering the very late hour, you are hoping to find Hongjoong asleep. The faint yellow candlelight filtering under the door tells you otherwise though, and that’s why you opt to knock rather than barging in unannounced.

“Come in.” Hongjoong sounds tired even in the two small words, but it isn’t the typical kind of tired you’re used to hearing from people. You are used to the exhaustion of the body, people coming to your door for sleep remedies, and nightmare potions meant to dispel the bad dreams that keep them up at night. The exhaustion in Hongjoong’s voice is one that resides deep in the body, one that eats away at the bones and muscles, breaks you down until you can hardly keep your head up. It’s nothing you can’t fix with a simple herbal concoction, but Seonghwa didn’t ask you to bring anything. He didn’t expect you to use your alchemy to fix Hongjoong, thus you’re going to have to rely on words and comfort instead.

You twist the handle as quietly as you can so that you don’t disturb the other sleeping men in the house. Sneaking in was hard enough, especially since Jongho was sprawled out on the couch with Yeosang’s lithe cat form curled up directly on his stomach, but you managed to get past the two of them with little to no disturbances. (And you delivered a few head scratches to Yeosang but that’s beside the point).

“Are you here to heat the tea again? I forgot all about it — oh.” Hongjoong’s thought falls short when he turns to face you, no doubt assuming that it was Seonghwa knocking for the umpteenth time tonight, but instead, he finds you with your hands tucked behind your back and lips stretched into a small smile. “What are you doing here? Did something happen back at the cottage? Did you come alone? Please tell me that you at least carried a ward or charm with you. That walk isn’t safe alone at this hour and I—”

“Hongjoong, darling, please.” Your smile stretches bit by bit as you move towards where Hongjoong is seated at his desk. Back hunched almost painfully, the man seems to be slaving over some old tomes, several books cracked open and laid bare before him, and your heart squeezes tight in your chest from the sight. There’s a barely touched mug of tea alongside the books, no doubt cold at this point, and the small lamp sitting on the corner of the desk illuminates the space.

The tension in Hongjoong’s shoulders remains even as you get within touching distance of him, and you dart a hand out to brush a few loose strands of hair off his forehead. The dark locks cave under your fingers, letting you tuck them back with little resistance. Hongjoong sighs from the gentle touches.

“Long day?” you murmur, despite already knowing the answer.

“Fucked up an important job,” Hongjoong sighs in response. He drops his head and faces forward again, staring down at the book before him. You take the opportunity to look in the same direction but you regret doing so a moment later because of what you see on the page.

Curing terminal illness with magic.

You tug at the back of Hongjoong’s chair, pulling him away from his desk with as much strength you can muster, but eventually he caves and assists you in pushing the chair back. You leave just enough room for you to slip between him and the desk before dropping your hands to his shoulders. No words come from your lips for quite some time; the two of you just remain in that position until tension begins to ebb away from Hongjoong’s shoulders. And the moment that begins to happen, you take advantage of it, dropping atop his lap with little effort and slipping your legs about his waist. Hongjoong’s hands secure at your hips.

Even the slight touch fills your body with energy — it’s weak and fragile, evidence of how much magic Hongjoong used today and how much he’s struggling to even stay awake right now — and you push yourself closer to him in attempts to offer at least some warmth and comfort.

Seonghwa would be better suited for this as a witch, or even San since the man is Hongjoong’s familiar, and yet you were called upon to help Hongjoong. You, the herbalist and alchemist with no magical ability in your bones. It’s a daunting task being asked to help Hongjoong without knowing what to do or having the skills that the others have. Still, you refuse to let that lack of confidence shine through in the slightest, bringing your hands up to cup Hongjoong’s sharp jawline and lift his head. He blinks back at you with wide eyes, dark orbs swirling with a mix of emotions that leaves a deep-seated pain in your heart.

“My love, what happened?”

Hongjoong blinks away from you. Before either of you know it, tears are springing to his eyes, welling them up with crystalline drops that glisten under the yellow lamplight. Not a single one falls quite yet; they still hold onto his eyelashes and waterline for the time being, but the moment he starts speaking, you know they’ll begin to fall. You wait as long as he needs you to, patient as ever as he collects himself and takes several deep breaths to calm down a bit before talking again.

“I promised his father that I would be able to heal him and fix him,” Hongjoong exhales against the exposed part of your neck. “I – h-he trusted me, and I… he died.”

Your arms tighten a bit around Hongjoong out of sheer instinct, and Hongjoong’s breaths tremble before he’s able to get his next words out. You don’t force him to continue the thought; you’ve heard enough to know how badly the job went and why Seonghwa was so concerned when he talked to you earlier. Your fingers brush over the base of Hongjoong’s neck, combing gently through the locks of hair the reside there in a desperate attempt to offer him some comfort.

You don’t need to ask what he’s talking about to understand. There can only be one patient he’s referring to – the young boy of about nine who suffered from a tragic terminal illness, one that left him bed-ridden for years before Hongjoong came along. It only took Hongjoong two weeks to get the boy out of his bed, and another three for the boy to walk around normally. Within two months, he could run and play outside once more, and in the third, the boy and his father were going on weekly fishing trips that always resulted in Seonghwa getting vast deliveries of black bass and rainbow trout. The young boy’s case has always been Hongjoong’s pride — the one job he never tires of, the one he would always return to, the most important one he’s ever had. There were no signs of things going south again.

“I-I wanted his father to be mad at me. Scold me and harass me and berate me. Call me a failure because that’s – that’s what I am, but h-he just… smiled. Told me not to take it too harshly. I was a last-ditch effort as it was. He didn’t expect anything to work and y-yet I was able to at least prolong his son’s death for a few precious months. He was grateful — grateful. Even though his son d-died. Even though I couldn’t save him.”

You pull back to look Hongjoong in the eye now. Dark eyes search yours, still glistening with tears that fall freely now, and they seek answers that you don’t have. All you can do is hold his face with the gentlest touch manageable and bring your forehead down to rest against his.

“Death… death is fickle, mio caro. She takes as much as life gives and is as elusive as a cloud on a clear day. We can’t control her no matter how much we try. While you have the ability to prolong her cold touch, no one can keep her away forever. You gave this boy months of life – a life he was able to cherish and use to the fullest. That was enough. You did enough.” You drag the pads of your thumbs over Hongjoong’s cheeks collecting the tears and brushing them away with ease. He leans into your touch, eyes fluttering shut as you trace faint patterns across his skin.

“I just keep thinking about the ‘what if’s. What if I had noticed the changes sooner? What if I had been quicker to help him? To find a solution or a spell or just… something – anything. Could I have given him more time? His father seemed ready b-but the pain in his eyes when I delivered the news is not something I could readily forget.”

“You don’t have to forget that pain, Hongjoong. No one is asking you to. But put aside the possibilities, and look at reality.”

“The reality is that he died.”

“But not because of you,” you counter with haste, gaze sharpening on Hongjoong a bit as he opens his mouth to protest. “Were you the cause of his illness?”

“…No.”

“Did you do everything in your power to help him?”

“Yes, but there is alwa—”

“Shush, darling.” You drop a hand to where one of Hongjoong’s rests against your hip, taking it in yours and lifting it to your chest. You place his hand directly over your heart and fall completely silent so that he can feel the steady thrum of your heartbeat. “Do you feel that?” You inquire once a few seconds have passed.

“Yes.”

“That’s life, Joong.” A soft smile overtakes your lips. “Where there is death, there is also life. And we cannot focus on the life before us if we are too consumed by the cold touch of death. As much as you want to hear that you’ve failed or made a mistake or deserve to be hated, it is not what you deserve because none of those things are true. You gave that man and his son the most precious gift of all for those months: time. Time they spent together whereas before they could not.”

“Notre petite étoile is right.”

You don’t need to turn to see who’s just stepping into the room; the little nickname is enough to tell you who it is since there’s only one man in the house who speaks French and calls you by that name. Hongjoong looks up though, arms squeezing around your waist as he looks to where Seonghwa stands at the edge of the room.

“Are you two ganging up on me?” Hongjoong grumbles. You and Seonghwa merely laugh in response, the latter man coming closer to the desk. He pauses at the edge to glance down at Hongjoong’s mug of tea and wordlessly traces small patterns against the side of the mug. Before you know it, small wisps of steam curl into the air above the liquid, and Seonghwa has once again heated the tea. The smile he wears signals that it’s something he’s done time and time again tonight, but he doesn’t make it seem like a chore or a burden at all, hand reaching out to comb through Hongjoong’s dark hair. Hongjoong sighs into the touch. There’s a gentle silence that drapes over the room next – one that Hongjoong relaxes under with your scent and Seonghwa’s intermingling under his nose.

Seonghwa doesn’t stop his rhythmic motions until Hongjoong’s shoulders have dropped all the tension stored in them, then he moves around the back of his chair and leans over it. You aren’t quite sure what he’s up to until two fingers curl under your chin and lift your head to greet his.

“My little star,” he murmurs before dipping closer to press a soft kiss against your lips. “One for you, and—” Seonghwa pulls back to glance down at Hongjoong, finding expectant and wide eyes blinking back up at him, then he parts Hongjoong’s bangs and places a second kiss to the exposed skin of his forehead “—one for you, my sweet starlight. The sun will rise soon, along with our darling sunrise to do the yard work. You two ought to get some rest before the chaos begins.”

“I should get home so I can prep the shop for morning opening,” you whisper, beginning to pull away from Hongjoong inch by inch. You half-expect Seonghwa to be the one to urge you to stay with pleading eyes and lingering touches that most definitely hold a bit of magic to them, but this time, he doesn’t say a word. Rather, it’s Hongjoong who tightens his hold on you and clings to you as though he might lose you if he dares to let go. You don’t realize it right away – perhaps you’re too distracted by the haziness of the late hour or by Seonghwa’s presence in the room – but when Hongjoong’s hands move up to brush over your shoulder blades, there is a sudden sense of desperation in his touch. Seonghwa smiles from off to the side.

“I’ll tell the younger ones not to bother you too much. Sleep as much as you need to. Yeosang and I will take care of the shop, étoile.” Seonghwa turns on his heel and walks towards the door again, leaving you and Hongjoong to watch his retreating form in silence. Just before he disappears completely, however, he shifts to look at the two of you once more. “I could get used to such a vision in our home.”

“Hm?” You echo, confusion evident on both your features and in your tone.

“You being here often, Hongjoong distracted from work long enough to focus on something else, San sneaking up the stairs behind me and hiding outside the door while we talk.” Seonghwa cracks a smile and pushes the door wide open. A startled San pops out from behind the wood, broad shoulders curling inwards in his momentary shame, but Seonghwa doesn’t let that last long and brings a warm hand to the younger man’s waist. He doesn’t say anything else, slipping out of the room behind San’s form and leaving the familiar in his place.

“Come, come, darling.” Hongjoong motions for San to come further into the room as he nudges you up, and you quickly slip off the man’s lap to stand on your own feet again. The breath leaves your lungs in a huff as a pair of arms suddenly wraps around your body, squeezing you in a tight embrace. The lines of sinew and muscle could only belong to San though you never saw him move in the slightest. Still, his hold is warm and inviting, enough to easily pull you towards Hongjoong’s bed, one that’s large enough to accommodate more than simply two bodies.

“Missed you,” San mumbles into the crook of your neck. His cool breath tickles the hairs on your skin, sending rows of goosebumps over you, and San kisses them away as best he can. “Been too long since you stayed the night.”

“Hm, Hongjoong needed me tonight,” you sigh, watching said man adjust the books and papers on his desk. He leaves the lamp lit for the time being, but it’s evident that he’s preparing to join you and San in bed, and that’s enough of a welcome sight to cause some of your worry to melt away. San sits up all of a sudden, tossing the sheets back to slip under them, although you don’t join him in doing so quite yet.

“His emotions have been volatile all day,” San says under his breath. The hush over the room is not nearly enough to conceal his tone though. Hongjoong most definitely can hear his words, but he neglects to mention it for the time being. “Couldn’t do anything to fix or help.”

San and Hongjoong share in a special type of relationship, one that is more interwoven and connected than most simply because of San’s identity as a familiar. Not just any familiar but Hongjoong’s familiar, just as Yeosang is Seonghwa’s familiar. It allowed the pair to share a deeper connection, sharing of emotional states – when one feels pain, the other does as well, just as with every emotion from happiness to rage. Hongjoong, however, prides himself on being able to cut off his emotions and keep them from affecting San too badly; so if San could sense the distress today, Hongjoong must be suffering a lot more than he’s letting on. Thus, it’s no surprise that San showed up when he did or that he’s here to stay the night with the two of you. The bond they share provides more than just physical comfort; the bond of a familiar and his master is one that bears great emotional weight and connection as well. It’s something you’ve been a bit insecure about when it comes to both men, along with Seonghwa and Yeosang, but they never let those doubts linger for long.

You’re halfway through taking off your second shoe when Hongjoong finally approaches the bed. He pauses before you, setting the chamberstick on the bedside table alight with a small flame, then he slips down to his knees. Deft fingers work the knots of your laces apart and push the shoe away from your foot. His touch is too warm to be normal, and you only realize what he’s up to when a sudden wave of drowsiness overwhelms you. Hongjoong’s soft touch is the only thing that keeps you awake as he works his way up, pressing a trail of ghosting kisses up the inside of your calf and stopping at your knee. You can hardly keep your eyes parted but manage to see – or at least feel – Hongjoong crawl over you to get onto the bed and slip between your body and San’s.

“No fair,” you murmur, words slurring together a bit. Hongjoong huffs out a laugh before leaning over you to puff the candle out. Small billows of smoke fill the air around your heads, along with a pleasant scent of lavender.

“Forgive me for wanting my star to get some rest,” he chuckles as he settles back against the mattress.

“That’s Seonghwa’s line.”

“Yes, well, Seonghwa isn’t here to say it, is he?”

“I’m telling.” Hongjoong rolls his eyes – a gesture you can barely make out through the darkness – then he leans forward to peck the tip of your nose.

“Childish.”

“Seonghwa doesn’t like it when people steal his nicknames.”

“Oh hush, you little brat. You’re worse than Wooyoung.”

“That’s more like it. Our dearest affectionate Joongie,” San laughs from behind Hongjoong, chin coming to rest on the length of the other man’s shoulder. His lips stretch into a grin, dimples flashing through the darkness, and you smile back at him softly. A hand touches your waist, and you almost think it’s Hongjoong but San grumbles something about you being too far away to cuddle properly and you know it’s him instead. You hum at the touch and settle into the warmth it provides. You nearly fall asleep right then and there, but you force your body to stay awake just a little while longer so you can press one last kiss to Hongjoong’s lips, then another to San’s.

“Okay, goodnight, my loves. I can’t keep my eyes open any longer thanks to Hongjoong.” You press closer to both men, wrapping yourself in the combined warmth of your lovers’ arms and the sheets, and Hongjoong tucks your head against his chest. His chin comes to rest on the top of your head. You’re already drifting off when you hear San’s next whispered words, ones meant only for Hongjoong’s ears but ones you hear nonetheless.

“I have a surprise for you tomorrow.”

“Hm? Is that your way of telling me to clear my schedule?” Hongjoong murmurs. The words send soft vibrations across your hair, and you instinctively tuck yourself further into his chest.

“Well, your schedule should be empty at night unless one of the others would be having you… preoccupied at that time.”

“As if you don’t intend to have me in that way yourself.”

“Only after the surprise,” San whispers, tone slightly offended, but you can also hear the affection in his tone.

“Then I’m all yours tomorrow evening.”

“Perfect.”

Those are the last words you hear out of either man; both fall silent after that and leave you with the soft heavings of their breaths above you, warm arms clinging to you as you drift off into a pleasant and peaceful rest. And as much as you protest the idea of intruding and living here with them, you have to admit that these moments make it worth it in the long run. The little things – the kisses and hugs, the sudden intrusions from your other lovers, the piling warmth, lingering gazes, soft smiles, quiet shared whispers. Perhaps you could get used to nights like these.

...

a/n: just another lil addition to the witchteez universe, i plan of having a drabble for each member then doing drabble requests after? i think? let me know if that’s something you want to see or if you have any ideas for the other members’ drabbles! i haven’t come up with anything yet so im quite open to suggestions!

[jaskiersvalley]

Shards of Ice

There was a lot of yelling in tags, reblogs and comments about Lambert needing to be loved following this post. You should have been more careful with what you wished for, because before things can get better, they need to get worse. But he gets his happy ending, don't worry.

CW: Suicidal thoughts

The room was cold and dusty but Lambert no longer had the energy to care. It was a room, his room, as barren as it was. He had survived trekking up to Kaer Morhen, at least he wouldn't be exposed to the elements so it was a bit better, even if there was no roaring fire. There wasn't even any wood in his room to start one. It would have to wait. Much like food could wait too, Lambert still had a few rations and some water in his pack, that would see him through the next couple of days while his leg finished healing. He so desperately wished he had something to take for it, even just a root to chew on for the pain but he'd run out of potions a while back and had been too caught in grief to even think about making more. At least he had a bed to lie on, that was better than the cold, hard forest floor. Lambert would take any small fortune as a blessing at that point.

Sleep claimed him and didn't release him until the sun was high the next day. Groggy, stiff from sleeping in his armour, and ravenous, Lambert pushed himself up. In the light of day his room looked no better, still just as empty and stale as when he'd walked in. If he could, he would have gone for a wash, anything to freshen up but his leg protested too much. In the end, he sat on the floor next to his bed, munching on a ration of cured meat, willing himself not to feel.

The others had to know he was back. He'd made enough noise, they probably even saw him approaching. But obviously he had no place in their lives. A dogsbody who was good for making their lives easier but didn't warrant anything in return. Not that Lambert did it to get something. But he'd always thought family looked after each other, took turns picking up the slack when one of them stumbled. As the day wore on and Lambert pulled his bedroll onto his bed for a bit of extra warmth, there was only one conclusion he could draw. While he had counted Geralt, Eskel and Vesemir as his family, they didn't think of him in a similar fashion.

On his own with his thoughts, Lambert had the chance to mull it all over. He had been a fool to think his fellow Witchers would consider him part of their family unit. Not even Lambert's own flesh and blood had done that. Just because Destiny threw them in the same cooking pot didn't mean were all part of the same cake. Though Aiden had been different. He had seen Lambert, all of him and decided that he was worth something. Desperate fury at the unfairness of it all had Lambert's lips wobbling even if tears were beyond him. He raged against his lot in life and the fact that the one possible good thing had been ripped from him. Nobody wanted Lambert and, when he found someone who did, they were violently snatched from his grasp.

With nothing do do but sleep and heal, Lambert didn't bother keeping track of the days. While his food and water lasted he would be okay. And when it ran out, he'd decide what he wanted then. Time stopped existing for Lambert, he was either asleep or wallowing in misery. It wasn't like anyone actually cared that his behaviour was very unbecoming of a Witcher, let alone a fully grown man. Lambert figured that if nobody wanted him at his best, it didn't matter what he was like at his worst.

A soft knock woke him from his slumber. It was better to sleep than get lost in his head. Why someone would try to take his only solace from him was beyond Lambert and he woke with a snarl. His leg still pulsed with pain, his room was still cold though he had managed to somewhat air it while the sun was high so it was maybe a little less chilly.

"Lambert?" Eskel's voice called as the door opened. "You missed breakfast again."

All Lambert heard was that he hadn't provided breakfast once again. He'd been back for probably a few days but soft foods and warm honey hadn't magically appeared on the breakfast table for the others. Well, it served them right.

"Go away!" He growled low in his throat.

"I just wanted-"

"Fuck off!" Lambert didn't let Eskel finish. Whatever Eskel wanted, he could get for himself. "I don't want you! I don't need you! Just leave me the fuck alone!" He threw his gloves at the door, followed by his bracers which clanked loudly against the wood, barely missing Eskel's face.

For the first time in his life, Lambert got what he asked for. The door closed again and he was alone. A strangled scream mixed with a sob in his throat and he curled up on the bed, heart and chest aching worse than his leg.

Time had no meaning, Lambert stayed curled up under his blanket, eyes open but not seeing. He'd had enough. Enough pain, enough rejection, enough loneliness. His rations were dwindling but he couldn't even find it in himself to finish them off. There was no point, it would only prolong his suffering.

Another soft knock on his door but he didn't even bother acknowledging it. He was done, the others could get on with their happy little family, they didn't need Lambert in any capacity, that had become obvious in the last few days.

The door opened and Eskel stepped in, an armful of logs and a bag of kindling in hand. He didn't say anything but got a fire going and left. The warmth of the room didn't reach Lambert's heart. He stayed where he was, even when Vesemir stepped in, a bucket of steaming water and a couple of wash cloths. Lambert didn't even have it in him to growl when hands methodically stripped him and wiped the worst of the Path's grime from his body. Fingers deftly worked the bandage on his leg open and, like when Lambert was a kid who'd scraped his knee, the injury got tutted over. Vesemir left and Lambert wondered whether he was such a disappointment that the fact he couldn't even heal from a simple bite had sent the man he'd once considered his father figure turning away in disgust.

For some reason Vesemir was back with a tray. It smelled like medical supplies but Lambert couldn't understand why. Firm hands worked over his leg, cleaning out the wounds, wrapping them. Finally, a vial was tipped against Lambert's lips and he swallowed, hoping it was poison to put him out of his misery. He fell asleep with the sweet bitterness of the potion still on his tongue and decided that maybe this wasn't such a bad way to go.

Unfortunately he woke up again. This time Geralt was in his room, a bowl of broth warming by the hearth. Lambert finally found his words.

"What the fuck do you want?"

He pretended not to see the way Geralt flinched and looked away. It filled him with a sense of perverse satisfaction, knowing that he repulsed his, well, Geralt wasn't his brother, not anymore. Not that he ever was actually.

"Eat," Geralt said, grabbing the warm bowl and holding it up. When Lambert made no move to take it, he fiddled with the spoon. "I can help feed you if you need."

Growling, Lambert snatched the bowl, ignoring the way it was so hot his fingers almost burned. The broth was good, seasoned with his favourites, not that the others would know, they never bothered to ask him. Still, it slid down his throat and warmed his belly, so close to his still stone cold heart.

Anger bubbled in Lambert's chest. The others couldn't even leave him be to make a dignified exit from this world. For some cursed reason now was the time they decided to bring Lambert back, even as he fought tooth and nail to be left. From then on, Lambert never woke alone. There was always someone in his room, never once commenting on his nightmares. Maybe they didn't notice, or thought it was just Lambert's regular dreams.

"Who is Aiden?" Eskel asked one night when Lambert woke, heart in his throat. "You call out for him a lot."

It wasn't something Lambert wanted to answer. He didn't want to trust Eskel with Aiden's memory. It wasn't something he had earned. However, each time Eskel was there and Lambert awoke from a fresh nightmare, he was asked the same question. There was only so many times that Lambert could hear those words before he snapped. At first it was just a gruff "nobody" then a "none of your business" to "a friend". It went on and on like that until Eskel had the full story, with Lambert held close to his chest and shaking like a new born foal.

When Lambert finally left his room, it was with Geralt hot on his heels. Something told Lambert that he knew about Aiden too. Those suspicions were only confirmed when, in the kitchen, Geralt casually said, "I'll come with you in the spring. We'll avenge him."

By the time spring came round, Lambert didn't feel quite so hollow. His heart had started to thaw out but the clump of ice that sat heavy in his chest could barely be called a heart anymore. Over the winter he'd been shown what it could have been like to be part of a family, to be wanted but he couldn't quite connect with the others anymore. The trust he'd offered had been twisted and warped until it was nothing more than a burnt silhouette of what it had once been.

Lambert was no fool. He knew Geralt travelled with him not just for revenge but also for Lambert's safety. It wasn't like Lambert was going to throw himself at the first chort he found. That was not how he wanted to go. But the others didn't care to listen to him in that respect. In a way, nothing had changed in that regard. Lambert's voice was still one to be ignored.

Winter came round quicker than expected. Lambert and Geralt turned north to Kaer Morhen and trekked up the mountain. There was smoke meandering through the air from the fires that had already been lit. It wasn't the Lambert had wanted to come back but he had nowhere else to go either. At least in the old keep he could actually survive winter in relative safety.

"Welcome home boys," Vesemir said as he stepped out the greet them, hugging Lambert first, then Geralt. "Eskel is already home and he's brought a guest with him."

Distantly, Lambert wondered how Geralt would react to Eskel having a guest. And maybe he was a little jealous that Eskel, despite his scars and menacing build, could find someone to winter with so easily. There was only one person Lambert had ever considered inviting home but that had only been a fleeting hope of the past, Destiny had made sure to quash it without hesitation.

"Lamb?" A familiar voice called and Lambert's whole chest hurt. His mind was cruel to play such games, taunting him with the one thing he couldn't have. "Lambert!"

A body barrelled into Lambert, arms wrapping around him tightly. Lips pressed against Lambert's and he tried to see who was stupid enough to mess around with him like that. It wasn't Eskel, his arms felt heavier around him. Eyes open for the kiss, Lambert saw an eyepatch and, as his assailant pulled away, a familiar green eye.

"Aiden." The word was a broken whisper of hope and disbelief. Lambert's hands cupped Aiden's cheeks, held him in place to be inspected, admired and committed to memory. "I thought you'd died. I'd avenged you."

"You're a real darling, thank you for that." Aiden smiled and placed his hands over Lambert's, warm palms holding glove covered ones in place. "But, by some twist of fate, I survived, more or less intact. Took a while to recover, Eskel found me in some remote temple, being healed by some monks. Dragged me back here as soon as I was able to make the journey."

Hands slipping from Aiden's face, Lambert pulled him in for a tight hug, eyes squeezed shut tight. He let Aiden go but only as far as keeping an arm wrapped around his waist. From where he stood, he looked over to the other three Wolves, standing together and watching them. Maybe, just maybe, they were more of a family than Lambert had dared hope. He wasn't certain yet, needed more time to accept that. But, for the first time in a long time, he had he spark of hope flickering in his heart.

[soft-for-them]

Shrapnel ♡ Mission Impossible x reader

Anon 🐛: Hello! If possible, I’d like to request a platonic IMF team x fem reader, where reader gets injured somehow on a mission and the team tries to help patch her up but she’s extremely self-conscious and keeps refusing to let them remove an item of clothing for better access to the wound or something (eventually giving in, of course). Hope you have a great day! :)

I’m going for the ethan, benji, luther and ilsa team because they are my favourite IMF team so I guess this is set after fall out. Female reader. injury mentioned.

Proof read, edited and remastered on 20.10.2021

The mission was supposed to be a small one but all of the team had gotten injured somehow making the small job a lot harder. 

Sure, the gang you and the team were tasked to take down weren’t a threat to the whole wide world like the Syndicate and August Walker, which was your first ever field mission with the IMF, a mission that cemented you as a permanent member of the team. However, now you, Benji and Ilsa stand out of breath and waiting for either Luther to drive up in the get away car or for Ethan to somehow ‘save the day’ like he always seems to do.

The IMF team has successfully defeated the rouge gang but in the process the building behind you in burning up like fireplace from the explosion that was caused moments ago.

Benji and Ethan were closest to the impact of the bomb without being in direct contact with the flames but you had pulled Benji out the way of a window that had shattered from the fire causing a slight pain in your torso.

The both of you have assumed that Ethan had survived like he always does so all you need to do now is wait.

“Hurry up, hurry up.” Benji mutters to himself as Ilsa tries to treat a gash on his arm and the scratches adorned his face. The blonde man winces as she ties his arm up with the remnants of non burnt bits of his jacket.

“You’re lucky that (y/n) pulled you away when she did.” both Ilsa and Benji give you a thankful smile, “You could have been pierced in the gut by some shrapnel or be burnt alive but the fire.”

“I should have stayed at my desk job.” You chuckle at the two agents as Benji starts swatting Ilsa’s hands away from his arm.

“Same here!” Benji jokes for he knows what it’s like to be pulled from your desk job to an action packed agent life.

You laugh some more but not because you find it particularly funny, you do always joke with Benji about stuff like that but you’re not laughing because of that. No, you’re laughing for you feel a stinging pain in your side and you’re trying to hide your pain.

When you had pulled Benji from the explosion you had gotten hit too. Sure, you thought it was just some cuts and lots of inhaling of black smoke but as you hunch down further you realise that the shrapnel might of hit you instead of Benji.

All the adrenaline and the fact that you haven’t looked down at your now bleeding side means that the pain isn’t as bad as it will become.

“(Y/n) are you ok?” the concerned voice of Benji calls out to you, the sweet man’s concern for you making you look up with a small smile.

“I just-“ what do you say to him? Do you lie to them both? Can you even lie to them? “I’m still out of breath from all the running and smoke Benji.”

Your voice is hoarse from the smoke and you’re face looks fine but not convinced by your act Ilsa gets up to check over you.

 Thankfully for you she is interrupted by Luther pulling up in a four door green family car one a mother would driver her kid into school.

“Where’s Ethan!?!” he shouts concern in his voice.

A mixture of Benji, Ilsa and you answering is heard, all saying around about the same thing of ‘he got away!’ satisfies the hat wearing agent for now.

Ilsa tries to help you up to the car but you brush her off and make her go to Benji who is wobbling around like a newborn deer. With a prolonged inhale of now clean air you shuffled to the car, opening one of the side doors to clamber into.

Ilsa and Benji take the seats furthers to the back of the six seater car and you flop across the middle seats, leaving Luther on his own in the front of the car.

“Ahhhh!” you exhale with a small scream like sound which gets everyone’s attention on you.

“You’re not ok (L/n)!” Ilsa shouts about to climb over into the middle seats.

“I’m fine my lungs just hurt from the smoke!” technically that’s a half truth but really the pain is from wound trickling blood down your side.

Ilsa is interrupted once more by a small flash of Ethan Hunt running up near the family car windows.

Such a small man can run too fast.

With all your strength you lean up and open the sliding door for Ethan to jump in. The small man catapults himself next to you in the little space you’ve left. His hair is singed by the fire and his face is covered in sweat and ash but he climbs over into the passenger seat next to Luther just fine.

“Of course you survived!” Benji calls out half jokingly half in relief. 

The blur of Ethan and Luther talking lulls you into a sleepy state, the pain of your side almost disappearing. However, you’re snapped out of your sleepy trance but the ever so slightly frantic voice of Ilsa. 

“Luther drive quicker!” She frantically says as she finally scales over the seat to you.

You’re too out of it to move your legs so the woman basically lifts them up like you’re a child hogging the sofa. With worry she looks at your side which is less dark blur from you coat but more rich purple from the blood imbedding into the fabric.

“Damn, she was hit by the blast hard!” Ilsa sounds panicked as your try to keep your eyes open.

It’s all a blur but you see Benji pass the medical kit to her and you feel Luther picking up speed in the small minivan. 

”Why didn’t you tell me?” Ilsa says as she tries to lift up your coat and shirt.

“No.” you push her away, “It isn’t bad.”

“Have you looked at it (y/n)?” Benji asks which you reply with a shake of the head.

“I was- I was runnin-“ you start to disconnect with the world, slurring your words as your eyes begin to close.

“Stay with me (L/n).” Ilsa says as she tries to lift your shirt.

“Nooooo, you’ll see my body.” you whine in your out of it state self, the words turning into nothing as you drift away.

You look over to your dear friend Benji, who you always joke with your blurry eyes seeing a man near to crying.

“Benji. Imma ok, I don’t feel it that much.”

Ilsa tries again to lift your shirt which by any rate will be most blood if you don’t let her lift it soon.

“Ilsa no… I don’t want you to see my body, I hate it…” you gasp.

In any given time you wouldn’t of been so truthful but maybe the lack of blood or the humming feeling of tiredness has turned off you thinking.

“You are beautiful but you will be less beautiful if you bleed to death.” With her normally stoic facade down she starts to plea with you, “Please (y/n), let me help!”

“…Huh, uh, as long as the men in this vehicle look away.” you slur as the pain starts to get slightly worse.

All of the men look away from you; Benji sitting back down in his seat, Ethan fiddling with hidsen gun and Luther looking back to the road.

Ilsa takes your top layers off showing the bit of glass digging out of your side blood making you (colour) skin deep red. You look down to see just how bad the injury is only to feel a huge wave of pain drown you and the urge to pass out.

“Looking at it makes it worse.” Ilsa says as she applies pressure to wound without taking the large bit of glass out.

“We’re almost here!” Luther calls as he magically slides the car under a closing garage door, he carries on driving to a lower level where he stops the car and he immediately gets out to help you along with the rest of the IMF.

“No looking at my bra!” you whine as Luther slides open the door closets to your head, Ilsa making sure you don’t fall backwards.

“We’re looking at that thing in your side (y/n) not you boobs!” Benji jabbers is in a flurry as he tries and help with you.

Ilsa and Luther get you out and lead you to a door, which Benji opens, Ethan not far behind talking to someone on the phone.

“We have an agent who need urgent medical treatment!” he urges as you hobble with Luther and Ilsa inside.

.

.

It has now been a month since your injury and the ragged piece of glass than had scared your side in now displayed on your desk, a reminder that you’re lucky that you aren’t dead.

For the last most since then Benji has been acting like an overprotective best friend telling you that you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are along with some dad jokes sprinkled in to make you smile.

Luther and Ethan have been more concerned about your health and healing but you still got a talking to from the men about how the IMF don’t judge anyone for what they look like. (That conversion was mostly from Ethan and Luther nodding his head in the background.)

You’re still in shock about how much Ilsa had cares for you. She had called you by your first name and she had also called you beautiful, a thing she had never done before that day.

Even now in-between missions as you sit behind a desk you’ll get a short and sweet text from her asking how your are.

You stretch out in you spinny chair with a relieved sigh. 

There’s still a long way to go with excepting your body but with all that had happened to you feel more comfortable with yourself and the IMF team.

.

.

.

Edit: Proof reading may still be off because I’m tired, still love Benji and Ilsa.

Old description:

Did i write this right after i got the request? yes, but i don’t know how good this is. it’s too late for all this writing but i did it!

also i want to write an ilsa x plus size reader and/or a benji x plus size reader because i love them both! (i get gay panic for ilsa and i just find benji adorable!)

[wakaoujisenhime]

hello again! I'm the same anon that requested the story with the reader giving herself up to save Eri. I really, REALLY like the way that you wrote it, and I'd certainly love to see a part 2! You have such a talent for writing angst! ❤

A/N: Hi there once more! I’m really happy to hear that you liked it, since I was a little unsure of how it turned out (had to edit it quite a few times, till I was happy with my insecure ass xDD)! So as for now I’ll be featuring Aizawa, Nighteye and Fatgum (since Kirishima and Tamaki wouldn’t make much sense due to them being unconscious during the time I decided to write this in). Additionally I tried a new approach on Nighteye’s story, so I hope you enjoy these ones as well and thank you once again for the encouraging words! ❤

Oh and before I forget: (H/N) is once again your hero name while (L/N) is your last name ^^

Tags: Aizawa x reader ✅  Nighteye x reader ✅  Fatgum x reader ✅  SFW ✅  a lot of angst (once again) ✅

Setting this time will be after Mirio was shot and when he took Eli with him to escape, but before the girls fell through the floor. Only during Fatgum’s scenario the setting will be different!

☞ 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Aizawa:

“Damn it all!“

Right now you were running all the way to what seemed to be the center of the battlefield where your boyfriend Aizawa was supposed to be fighting against Overhaul, the leader of the crime organization ‘Shie Hassaikai’.

Or at least that is what a very injured Mirio had told you just a few minutes ago. Nighteye had apparently given him the task to protect Eri and try to escape with her. Hoping to be of some help you tried using your quirk on him and successfully managed to rewind and heal the stab wounds around his torso.

You had a similar quirk to Eri’s and that was the exact reason as to why the pro heroes were against you joining the mission, so why were you here anyway? Well the answer was quite easy...you snuck in and tried fighting as sneaky as possible alongside the other heroes.

The reason why you decided to be a rebel despite all of the warnings you got from people close to you, was because of something Aizawa had told you just before he left for today’s mission.

‘There are things in life that only we can do, no matter how dangerous or unreasonable they are.’

That were his last words before he kissed your forehead and left for duty.

You knew that his words were meant to calm you down, but they actually did the exact opposite.

After he had left you thought about what you could do with your similar quirk and all you came up with was to sneak in, pretend you were a part of the mission and sacrifice yourself.

It was the worst possible plan, it was stupid and you knew all that but you were desperate. Desperate to finally free Aizawa from all the stress he had to endure for this mission. Sleepless nights, nightmares or even days on which he didn’t return home. You witnessed it all and it pained you seeing him like that...so you decided to put an end to his own and his colleagues’ suffering, by doing the only think you could do.

Sacrifice yourself...

“(Y/N)?! What are you doing here...?”

Nighteye’s question brought you back to the present.

You had finally arrived at the battlefield and watched the horror that unfolded in front of your very own eyes.

Nighteye was hurt, bleeding and lying on the floor.

Midoriya’s whole body was bruised and scratched while he fought against Overhaul.

And there, close to Midoriya was Aizawa who had his quirk activated but luckily enough, he wasn’t hurt as badly as the others.  

Before you could call out to him, you saw someone slowly creep up behind your boyfriend, but luckily...you were quicker.

“Eraserhead, behind you!”

Chrono unfortunately beat both of you to it and managed to pin Aizawa down while pressing a knife to his neck.

“Don’t move or he’ll die.“

That warning was meant for you as well as for Midoriya, who had to fall back in order to ensure his teacher’s safety.

Meanwhile Overhaul just giggled darkly at your failed attempt to rescue the black haired man. With a small nod towards his underling, the villain began a monologue on how he’ll get Eri to come back to him and that was your call.

“Overhaul, wait!”

This was the first time Aizawa actually turned to you and one didn’t have to be an expert to notice how mad he was to see you here, but that was the last thing on your mind right now.

With confident steps you slowly made your way towards the masked villain who eyed you from head to toe.

“(H/N)! What do you think you’re doing?!”

Completely ignoring the blade which was slowly piercing his neck’s skin, Aizawa’s eyes were glued to you and no matter what kind of comment he threw at you, you kept on walking and pretending not to hear his pleas.

“Now now...you shouldn’t interrupt (L/N) here, can’t you see that we’re striking a deal right now?”

You weren’t surprised to hear your last name coming from the villain’s mouth. He as well had done his researches...considering your quirk how could he possibly not do them?

He had played with the thought of kidnapping you as well (just in case that Eri’s body would give out some day), but he would’ve never expected to hear that exact same thought coming from the person in question. There was only one problem. You actually demanded for your comrades’ safety and Eri’s freedom. It didn’t seem like that bad of a deal, since Eri was just a child which makes her less durable than a full grown adult like you, additionally her powers have yet to achieve their true potential while yours were basically your second nature.

Overhaul nodded after a short while, signalizing his agreement. Fighting over a small and mentally unstable child wasn’t worth the trouble nor the casualties, so he didn’t want to prolong this conversation any further. He also didn’t know when you might actually change your mind, so for him the clock was already ticking.

“Don’t leave me! P-Please (Y/N)...”

You were just one step away from sacrificing yourself, but Aizawa’s voice finally reached your ears and what he had just said broke your heart in thousand pieces.

What am I doing...?

Overhaul saw the determination you had a few seconds ago, vanish from your eyes so he immediately grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him, making it harder for you to escape his grasp.

Now matter how much you or your boyfriend struggled against your opponents neither you nor Aizawa could escape their grasp. Midoriya and Nighteye couldn’t intervene and risk both of your lives, so they had to stand by and watch helplessly as the both of you were being separated from one another.

The only thing the two of you were able to do was to extend your hands towards each other and call out the other’s name. Tears falling down your cheeks, your voices slowly losing their high volume and when you guys noticed that there was nothing else you could do to escape this situation you guys said your last words.

“I love you...”

“I’m sorry...”

Nighteye:

“Sasaki! Oh my god, are you alright?!”

Nighteye had just closed his eyes for what seemed to be a few seconds, but these seconds turned out to be several minutes during which Midoriya’s injuries had doubled, Aizawa as well as Eri who was alongside Mirio were gone and you had apparently arrived. He felt your arms wrapped around his sore body, but what he didn’t feel anymore was his injury...he figured that that was your doing so he looked up at you with a thankful and relieved expression.

“(Y/N)...y-you’re here”

Your boyfriend was happy to have you here next to him, but considering the situation you guys were in, it would’ve been better for you to completly stay out of this fight. So he sat up and held onto your hand, determined to get you out of here.

“(Y/N) you need to go and call for reinforcements. I’ll be helping Midoriya out while you-“

“No Sasaki. I may have healed your wound, but you still need to rest so stay and I’ll help Deku out...got that?“

Nighteye looked up at you and saw your eyes glistening with something else than determination, he trusted you but he had a feeling that you had an entirely different plan than the one you had just suggested.

You saw how hesitant your boyfriend was to answer and you felt like the more time he used to think about it, the quicker he might catch onto your plan and that mustn’t happen.

Sasaki was surprised to see you get on your knees in front of him and holding onto his hands,your actions began to scare him a little.

“Do you trust me?“

His eyes visibly widened after hearing your question, the fear he had earlier slowly began consuming him. Nighteye wanted to nod, but he feared what you might do next if he said ‘yes’. That’s when he came up with an idea.

What if I used my quirk on (Y/N)...?

Luckily you had never been against it before, so he wasn’t as afraid as he thought he’d be to read your future but desperate times call for desperate measures.

He began concentrating and calming down his nerves so that he could calmly look into your eyes and see what your plan looked like...but you were quicker.

You slowly raised your hand, softly moved his glasses away and covered his eyes causing him to flinch lightly.

“Please don’t...not yet. Just trust me Sasaki.”

Before he could answer you kissed his lips ever so gently and soon you felt him kissing you back. After a short while you got up slowly and smiled at your boyfriend as you turned your back to him and began walking towards Midoriya and Overhaul.

——

What did she just say...?

Sacrifice herself...for Eri’s sake....?

What do you think you’re doing?

Don’t leave me behind like this...you mustn’t..

No..don’t look at Midoriya like that...not with that smile of yours.

S-Stop don’t...don’t turn to me

Don’t give me that look...

Heh, you were always bad at hiding your true feelings.

If you feel bad then don’t leave.

Why did you even come up with such a dangerous plan anyway?

Do you have any idea what he’ll do to you?

Midoriya, let go of me! Don’t intervene!

I’m going to stop you or did you seriously think that I was going to let you off the hook, just like that...?

(Y/N) think this through, please! He’ll tire out your body on purpose and who knows whose life he might ruin next with the help of your quirk!

He might even decide to target me next..

D-Don’t cry, please...

I know you want to protect us, but your decision is way to hasty so-

Hey! Get your dirty hands off of her!

No..!

(Y/N)!!!

I woke up teary eyed and completely drenched in sweat.

That dream again...damn it.

How many times does this make already?

Since Overhaul took (Y/N) away from me there wasn’t even one night on which I haven’t dreamed about that one moment.

The mission was considered a success in the end, but not for me...

Since I had seen All Might’s Future back then, I was afraid to look into anyone else's....but now?

After I’ve lost my most precious person...this is something I am going to regret not doing for the rest of my life.

I mean...what else can I do?      

Fatgum:

Your fist collided with a villain’s cheek.

How many does that make now?

To put it frankly, you just don’t know anymore...

These past few minutes you were running around beating up villains left and right, thanks to the order you had received to support any hero you came across and help them save Eri.

You knew that the girl should be your top priority at the moment, but you couldn’t deny the fact that the worry for your boyfriend Taishiro (also known as Fatgum) was way bigger than that for the girl.

“(Y/N)? Is that you?!”

Your boyfriend’s voice suddenly called out to you from one of the rooms, startling and making you stop in your tracks.

“Taishiro!“

Seeing him in his skinny form was something you weren’t used to since it only occurred when he used up too much of his power.

You looked around in order to catch a glimpse of his momentary situation. Him and Red Riot were fighting against two peculiar looking man whose appearance was clearly different than that of the other evil guys, they looked....stronger.

“Listen, you need to go and help with the fight against Overhaul!”

At your boyfriend’s sudden order your eyes went wide.

“W-What? You can’t be serious...I can’t leave the two of you alone! Look at yourself...you and Kirishima are badly hurt, so-”

“(Y/N)! This is not the time for worry, we’re on a mission right now. Concentrate on the important things!”

It surprised you to hear him sound that cold and it hurt your feelings a little, but you decided to suck it up. You had to admit that you were quite the worrywart when it came to your boyfriend and that was sometimes inappropriate...like right now.

With a small but hesitant nod you exited the room and once again began running at full speed, but now you at least had a clear goal in mind.

——

“Don’t worry Kirishima. You did an amazing job and deserve some rest.“

After fighting two members of the Eight Bullets and winning against them, Fatgum needed to take a breather and think about what to do from now on. So alongside his enemies, he went to the aid room and began taking care of his disciple while his thoughts wandered back to you.

He wondered if the things he said were perhaps to harsh and thinking about the possibility of having hurt you with his words, only made his heart drop.

If there had been another hero by his side right now, he wouldn’t have hesitated to run and look for you, but right now all he could do was wait...

——

After what felt like hours reinforcements had finally arrived and happily delivered the message of the mission’s success. Everyone was in good spirits and felt relieved and now, all Taishiro wanted to do was wrap his arms around you and kiss you all over.

So when he saw Sir Nighteye, Aizawa and Midoriya standing together while talking to an injured Mirio he just knew that you had to be somewhere close to them as well...so he began jogging in their direction, completely ignoring the pain throughout his body.

But he soon noticed that something wasn’t right...

When the trio saw him approaching, their facial expressions suddenly changed. Now they looked somewhat sad.

“Hey you guys! Have you seen (Y/N)? As far as I remember she should’ve been with you.”

“Well yes...she was”

Nighteye was the first to speak up. He took a quick glance at his surroundings and took a deep breath.

“In order to protect us and Eri, (Y/N)....went with Overhaul.”

After processing what the man with the glasses had said, Taishiro felt like he had been run over by a giant truck.

W-What did he just say...?

“W-Wait...you mean to tell me that you guys just stood by and let her sacrifice herself just like that?“

It was Aizawa’s turn to talk now so he stepped forward.

“There wasn’t anything we could do, we tried to talk her out of it, but she kept on insisting.“

“I don’t care if (Y/N) did! The two of you are pro heroes damn it, you could’ve sto-, no...you should’ve stopped her even if she resisted!“

They continued arguing back and forth, getting more heated with each passing minute. Mirio and Midoriya didn’t know if they should or even could do anything to stop them at this point, so they remained silent.

Suddenly Fatgum felt a gentle tug on his shorts which caused him to pause his argument and look down.

He found himself looking into a pair of big red eyes which belonged to none other than Eri, who was holding out a small pendant to him.

“The nice Miss that saved me, told me to give this to a big, cuddly looking and yellow dressed man...I think she might’ve meant you.“

A little reluctant he took it from her small hands and looked at it. 

He gasped as he realized what kind of pendant that was. 

“(Y/N)...“

Seeing the muscular man fall to his knees and gently caress the small object in his big hand was surprising and heartbreaking at the same time.

Between his silent sobs, he softly pet Eri’s head and thanked her several times.

The pendant he now held close to his heart was the first present he had given you. It had your and his name engraved on the outside and on the inside there was a small photo of the two of you cuddling.

When you received it, he made you promise him to always carry it with you...until the end of your days.

[scripttorture]

Do you know how quickly the affects of solitary confinement would be alleviated by the addition of prolonged, positive human contact? My character was imprisoned & stuck in conditions that equated solitary confinement for a week and was to the point of attacking guards who brought them food to get attention before a more competent staff member got on site, realized what was going on, and went to spend time with them. How long would it take the prisoner to start showing noticeable improvement?

It’s unclear but it will probably be helpful for me to talk about why that’s the case and the story generally.

 While most people will show symptoms from solitary within a week this doesn’t mean the symptoms are at their worst possible level in a week. If there’s nothing else going on and no aggravating factors then the behaviour you’re describing would be more typical after a month then a week. That doesn’t mean you ‘can’t’ use the time frame you’ve planned, but I’d ask you think about why you’re jumping to an attack and how in character that seems.

 If this character has been brutalised by guards then yes, I’d think that sounds a lot more plausible. If you’ve established this character has a history of aggression and violent behaviour that also fits. If the character is under additional stress in some way (eg fears for their life, rationally or not), fair enough. But I worry that without some context to say why violence is an early response from this character it could seem like you’re saying even milder mental health problems lead to violent behaviour.

 The behaviour you’re describing does happen and it can happen as early as you’ve suggested. But remember that most of the studied people are prisoners and many have a history of violent behaviour. And generally they wreck stuff as an outlet for anger, or hurt themselves, before attacking others.

 There are a couple of follow up studies that tried to determine whether/when the symptoms of solitary confinement disappear. The problem is that the nature of the studies make it hard to draw definite conclusions.

 They’re on people who are still imprisoned and that presents two problems.

 Firstly it limits the length of a long term study: these studies generally looked at people weeks and months, rather then years later. Because their sample size dwindled as people were released.

 The second problem is the perennial one: reporting. Prisoners are not necessarily comfortable reporting all of their symptoms to researchers and may downplay the severity of their symptoms.

 Shalev quotes two such studies that broadly concluded the effects of solitary confinement could be temporary and people recovered fast. But as usual the devil is in the detail and some of the later follow ups Shalev also quotes come to different conclusions.

 The major factor seems to be the duration/length of solitary confinement: people confined for shorter periods recover more quickly and in many cases their symptoms seem to be temporary.

 Going back to those two studies- The researchers essentially showed that people improved on being released from solitary. The first study Shalev quotes (which you can find here) doesn’t really do a thorough follow up: people were studied while in solitary and then given one questionnaire on release back into the general population.

 The second paper is from 1983 (and can be found for free here screw you American Journal of Psychiatry) and describes the severe effects some of the studied prisoners reported alongside their deflections. And we are talking about severe cases here. I didn’t go through the paper in enough detail to find out the time scale these people were confined, but they’re describing self harm, suicide attempts, panic attacks, visual hallucinations, disordered thoughts etc.

 This paper says that the people studied reported their symptoms were better ‘within hours’ of their relief periods (a 24 hour period in general for every fifteen days in solitary, I don’t know how standard this practice is/was but it was used in this prison). However that’s… the extent of it. They felt better out of solitary. The same author published another paper in 2006 in which he briefly describes long term symptoms of solitary confinement.

 This lines up with what former prisoners who were in solitary for prolonged periods say. You’re describing a much shorter period of confinement.

 It’s also worth pointing out that these studies aren’t long term follow ups. They’re brief looks at the changes that happen immediately on release from solitary.

 All of which means there isn’t a definite answer to your question; we don’t really know.

 We know some people are more vulnerable to isolation and some are more resistant. Some volunteers in isolation experiments can’t spend a day in isolation. Others will only come out after two weeks.

 Longer isolation produces more severe symptoms. Children, especially younger children (mostly young teens in this case), show more severe symptoms in a shorter time frame. People with pre-existing mental health problems find those problems get worse.

 I think that a big part of figuring out a sensible time frame for this is figuring out how bad your character’s symptoms are and if there’s a reason behind that.

 So for instance, if this character had been abused shortly before being confined they’d be likely to struggle more, experience worse symptoms and so forth. If coming out of confinement means coming into a place that’s safe from that abuse that’s really different to coming into a place where they could still be targetted.

 Essentially having this background detail gives you a reason why symptoms might be worse then average and it also gives you a reason to have a much quicker recovery time afterwards or not. Depending on how you set up the environment.

 Whereas if you’ve decided your character is just more vulnerable to solitary confinement (or if they’re more effected because of a pre-existing mental health condition) then you have a reason for that recovery to be more difficult, to take longer.

 It’s reasonable for you to show the character feeling better within hours and showing some visible improvement in a couple of days. The research says that’s going to be the case most of the time for this sort of time frame of 1-4 weeks.

 But feeling better and improvement don’t mean ‘cured’. They don’t mean completely healed.

 Most people who are confined for shorter periods (less then a week) suggest the worst effects are gone within a month. But it’s hard to say for sure when we know people downplay the severity of their symptoms. And some people are more sensitive to solitary confinement then others.

 May be this character still experiences mood swings for weeks, or months. May be their temper is noticeably worse then it was before.

 Key to this is your decision of how traumatising you want this to be. If you’re trying to capture the worst case scenario, even on a short time frame, then it makes sense to follow that through with a longer recovery process.

 I hope that helps :)

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[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Permission - Nik

Previous ~ Masterlist ~ Next

CW: fear of dubcon/noncon, conditioning, manhandling, prolonged strangulation, brief suicidal idealization (better off dead kinda thing), brief vomit mention, 

Nik had never been ashamed of crying. It was a natural response, so why should he be? Before, he hadn’t really cared if people saw him cry.

Now, he had more reason to cry than ever.

He laid curled as small as he could. Back in his cell, he was miserable and shivering. His skin was still flush and sensitive, but he felt lightheaded and cold from blood loss. His back was the worst of all; he knew from when he reached back and his fingers found strips of his own skin. The feeling of the thick strips in his hand made his stomach curl, but he didn’t dare let himself vomit. That would surely be worse. He laid on his side, holding himself tightly. It was a hell of impossible opposites, both freezing and burning simultaneously.

No, Nik wasn’t ashamed of crying, he was ashamed of the thoughts that came with the crying.

He wished it wasn’t him. He wished that someone else would have stepped up to protect his people. Kia was so much stronger than me; she wouldn’t have given in so easily. She wouldn’t be this shivering, trembling mess. She would have been better at this. It should have been her.

He pulled himself away from that train of thought. No, he couldn’t think that way. He could never wish this pain on anyone else. 

Anyone else but the vampire, he thought as he bitterly held himself tighter. His chest was still bare, but the cold stone felt, well, not good but better, on his bruised and battered body.

No, he would never wish this on Kia. She deserved to live her life, to be the person that they both knew she could be. They had been friends since childhood, and he thought of her like a sister that he never had.

Besides, humans were known for their… appetites. Either I’m not His type or that’s still yet to come. His mind was cruel, forcing scenes to the front of his mind without his permission. Scenes that flooded his system with fear and made him pull himself so close to never feel so exposed again. No, he needed to get away from this train of thought, too. Nothing had ever been suggested or even implied.

Even if it had, he would give himself every day so Kia would never have to.

Breathe in, breathe out, Nik coached himself. If there was no one else there to give him comfort, then he would do it himself. He focused on his breathing and let exhaustion take him.

When he woke again, he could feel his arms and legs again. He smiled, until the pain started to register. They were just as bruised and sore as the rest of him. He wished the numbness would have lasted until his body wasn’t so damaged. Just a bit of reprieve, please.

He flexed his fingers carefully and weighed the options. He knew healing spells. He could make himself feel better. How much is left in me? he thought. He had never needed to ask himself these questions before. There were limits to what he could do, but he had never even considered it before. He sighed. Last time He went to far, I stopped breathing. He looked at the dark, cold, removed cell around him. Maybe that’s not so bad.

Painfully, Nik pushed himself to a sitting position. As unsteady as he felt, he didn’t dare brace against a wall; not with his back in this condition. He winced as he pulled the bandage away from the cut on his arm. It was deep, but not to the bone. He pulled the words from his mind, mouthing them lightly. His eyes fluttered and he began to massage his palm. Soon, light pooled in his palm. He laid it against the wound, and waited for it close. He felt the skin pull together and go taut with a comforting warmth.

Another source of light caught his eye. The cuffs. The cuff on his left arm was glowing threateningly, pulsing and slowly warming. Before he could register what happened, pain seared through his body. He cried out and fell back to the ground. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe.

A blink, and the Sorcerer was looming above him. He lightly tapped the cuff on his own wrist against Nik’s, and the pain stopped instantly. It was abrupt, and Nik felt off balance as a result.

“How dare you,” he screeched as his hand wrapped around Nik’s neck. Nik’s hands flew to his neck, to scratch and fight and breathe, but they accomplished nothing. The Sorcerer lifted him by his neck so only his bare toes grazed the floor. Panic set in. His breathing was shallow and restricted, every breath hindered by an iron grip. He scrambled to try to get his feet under him.

“Listen to me very carefully. We made a deal. You are mine; all mine. Every part of you, from the hair on your head to the blood coursing through your veins belongs to me.” His eyes drilled into Nik’s wide, panicked stare.

“You heal when I want you to heal, you bleed when I want you to bleed. You breathe,” the hand around Nik’s neck closed, crushing his airways. Nik scratched and kicked and fought, but his vision started to grow hazy. His head pounded and his legs grew weaker and weaker. He tried to plead, to beg. The vampire had once called him well-spoken, perhaps Nik could convince him, but the grip was too tight. 

He could feel just how crushed his airways were as they pulsed with his heartbeat. He pleaded with his eyes; the man had always seemed to like his eyes. 

Nothing. No pity, no mercy. His hands and feet grew still as his vision got darker and darker. Surely, he wouldn’t let him pass out; would he? Nik’s last coherent thought was overpowered by raw, animalistic panic.

Nik gasped awake, held by his shoulders to the wall. Before the open wounds on his back could rear in pain, his throat cried out. Even without the hand, it was still partially closed and painful. Gasps of dry air might as well have been glass, shredding and tearing through his throat.

“Did I say you could breathe?” came a voice. Nik’s head spun and ached. He couldn’t even form words in his mind. The hand returned to his neck, and Nik’s body went rigid. The grip, the pressure on already damaged skin was unbearable. Nik’s body burned as already exhausted muscles fought again for survival. Darkness came quicker this time, but it still came.

He gasped awake again, hazy and unfocused. He was still pinned against the wall, but he felt as if he was floating. His body didn’t register; not pain or cold or even discomfort.

“Again, you insolent creature; did I give you explicit permission to breathe?” Nik’s mind shot back as the hand laid against his throat. Please, no, please, no no no. I can’t, I can’t, please I need to breathe, please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Nik’s mind protested, but none of the words could make it to his lips. 

Fear and panic overrode his system, taking control away from him. Instinct kicked in, but a different instinct this time. He pressed his mouth closed and held his breath. His heartbeat pounded through his skin. Surely the man could feel it? He can tell right? I’m not breathing. Please Gods let him know I’m not breathing. I’ll obey, please let me breathe. Please, I need air. I need to breathe.

“Good. Breathe.”

Nik gasped, taking in as much air as he could. He sputtered and coughed, filling his lungs as quickly as he could. His throat still burned, like the air was made of hot coals. A hand gently cupped the side of his face, sending a shiver down his spine.

“You’re mine. You follow my explicit permission. You obey me regardless of what your mind and body tell you. Do you understand?”

Nik moved to open his mouth, then closed it quickly. Is this a trap? Am I supposed to answer? Is a question explicit permission? His thoughts raced, trying desperately to figure out the right answer. There must be a right answer. He needed the right answer. His eyes flicked up to try and read the face of the Sorcerer to try and gather more information. At the furious glare, pure dread filled him as he realized he never gave any answer.

A fist knocked his head to the side, white exploding in his vision. His ears rung and drowned out the sound of his own body crashing to the ground. The ringing bore through his mind as a flurry of kicks broke his ribs and battered his already weak frame. His body tried to curl in to protect itself, but it was never allowed. When he finally snapped back to his body, his back was pressed down hard against the gravel floor. His back roared and seized, rising above the other pain that ravaged his body. He cried out, voice already breaking from use and fear. He could feel his ribs bend dangerously far underneath the boot that pressed him down.

“Why did you not answer me? You obey me! Tell me!”  

“P-P-Please, Sir,” his voice was broken and split, hoarse from crying out and strained from lack of use. “Y-you, you never g-gave me, ex-xplic-cit permission. I’m s-s-s-sorry”. Tears rolled down the side of his face.

The boot lifted immediately. Nik desperately needed to breath, but he tried to keep it shallow and unnoticeable. His eyes were shut tightly, as if not seeing the blows would make them hurt less.

A soft laugh. A hand cupped the side of his face again. Unsure of what to do, Nik remained perfectly still. No instructions, wait for instructions. Please god let me breathe. Please don’t hurt me again. I’ll obey. I promise; just let me breathe

“You’re not as stupid as those other creatures, are you? You are actually capable of thought.”

Was that a compliment? Was that good? No permission to respond, so he tried to stay as still as possible. He tried desperately to calm the full body trembles, but nothing worked.

Just wait. Just wait for permission and don’t move. Don’t move a muscle.

The Sorcerer wound a long strip of fabric many times over his eyes, keeping them closed tightly. A punishment for using his own magic to heal himself. That, and the beating he had received. Nik laid on the ground, exhausted and in pain. If he ever could have willed himself to pass out, to drift away into hazy darkness, he would have.

~~~

@luminouswhump @lonesome–hunter @pepperonyscience @insanitywishes

[sablelab]

Covert Operations - Chapter 119

SYNOPSIS: Dr Foster is with Claire when Murtagh Fitzgibbons arrives at Med Lab to see her and ask about Jamie. The doctor is pleased with their progress and when Murtagh asks to see Jamie he follows the physician on his rounds. However, Jamie’s only thoughts are of his brave Sassenach.

Chapter 118 and all other chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations

THANK YOU for reading Covert Operations and continuing on this journey with Jamie and Claire and bravo to Fergus for thinking on his feet.

CHAPTER 119

As Murtagh Fitzgibbons entered Med Lab, a voice behind him stopped him in his tracks. He recognised the sultry voice immediately and turned around to face the smiling face of his paramour Bóinne Rivière. "Hey, Murtagh. I was wondering when you would turn up here again.”  The sight of his lady love was a feast for sore eyes. He suddenly felt a whole lot better and gave her one of his quirky smiles. "Hi yourself."  In return she gave him a candid smile that made her eyes sparkle. "Are you here to see Claire?"  "Yes."  "She's doing quite well actually." The nurse’s eyes gleamed with pleasure as she saw the relief that crossed his face. "It must have been difficult for you to wait out the twenty-four hours … I'm surprised you didn’t sneak back and check up on her again sooner than this."  Murtagh tried to keep his face deadpan. "I've been a bit busy. Things have been chaotic in Comm., that’s why I decided to come here for some peace and quiet."  Bóinne smiled to herself as though his answer had amused her. With tongue in cheek she looked back up at him and replied just as poker-faced, "Of course you did."  “So? Is it okay to visit?” “Wait here, I’ll check with her physician Dr Foster. He’s doing his final rounds at the moment,” she answered. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere real soon. I’ll be right here when you come back.” He replied giving her a wink as she walked away to check with the doctor. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Jeremy Foster stood at the foot of Claire’s Beauchamp’s bed reading her prognosis chart before completing his final rounds for the evening. He was very pleased with her healing prospects despite the atrocities of her incarceration at the hands of the Rising Dragons. He’d dealt with other operatives in the past who had returned from missions in a similar condition as Claire Beauchamp, and they had managed to recuperate fully. He had faith that she too would do the same. If Operations and Madeline put in place the recommendations he’d suggested, then both she and Jamie would heal quicker and be ready to return to the mission sooner rather than later.  He signed Claire’s medication requisites for the next day, then glanced up from the report and looked at the patient. Even though she slept he saw that she was somewhat agitated as she began to thrash about in her bed. Dr Foster quickly replaced the chart and walked closer to her side and with a gentle touch held Claire’s shoulder. With his other hand he gripped her wrist and monitored her pulse rate registering that it had escalated a little. Leaning down he spoke to her in a soothing manner.

“Claire … are you okay?” Somewhere in her subconsciousness she heard her name. She stirred.  Once again, he spoke softly to her not wanting to alarm her if she opened her eyes quickly. “Claire … it’s Dr Foster,” he said soothingly. The person’s quiet demeanour was non alarmist and her jerky movements abated a little at his tone of voice. Blinking once, then twice, Claire slowly opened her eyes to see a person wearing a stark white coat. However, the harsh white lights of the infirmary made her squint even more as she tried to focus on the person standing by her bed. Compounding her disorientation, the incessant high-pitched beeping noises of the monitors exacerbated in her head and in the quietness of the room. Still half-asleep, Claire Beauchamp stared at him in confusion until becoming more lucid. Recognizing who it really was, she nodded and reached out her hand.  Helping her to sit up more comfortably in bed and checking the heart rate monitor at her bedside the doctor asked, “Are you in pain?” “No … I’m fine. Just a little restless … that’s all.” The physician looked at her with an assuring smile on his face. “Yes … your pulse is a little fast but otherwise you are doing very well considering what you’ve been through.” Claire looked down at her hand, “I hope I didn’t dislodge anything I shouldn’t have.” “No … no damage done,” he smiled reassuringly. “Your IV line will be removed in the morning anyway.” Closing her eyes she unconsciously bit her bottom lip. “Dr Foster…?”  The doctor mistook the meaning behind her utterance of his name for another bout of pain. He watched her closely then tried to allay her uneasiness. “You experienced terrible things on this Mission, but physically you're doing fine Claire. It won’t be long before you are back on the road to recovery, but mentally it may take a little while longer I’m afraid. That’s why I’ve suggested that you have some well-earned downtime when you are discharged.” Claire looked at him intently, nodded then closed her eyes again. Although his words were encouraging her thoughts were conflicted. She knew the sooner she got out of here the better but there was one major stumbling block to Dr. Foster’s suggestion … her superiors, Operations and Madeline. Thinking that his patient had begun to doze off he asked, “Will you be okay? I have to check on Jamie.” Suddenly Claire reached out with urgency and gripped his hand tightly. She didn’t need to say another word for he knew exactly what she was thinking. Dr Foster nonchalantly moved his body to shield her face from the surveillance camera. He then looked back at Claire and smiled reassuringly.

“Don't worry. Jamie’s doing much better than we thought. He’s being transfused at the moment. Hopefully in another twenty-four hours he will have passed the worst of it.” Her gaze was fixed on his face as he uttered every word as Claire’s eyes registered her inner feelings. She was extremely relieved to hear that. Sinking back deeper into the pillows she let her thoughts transcend to her mentor, partner and the love of her life in the next room.  “Try and see if you can get back to sleep, hmm? Things will be better in the light of day. Trust me.”  Although she heard the physician’s voice, Claire wasn’t really listening to what he had to say, instead she asked, “When will I be able to see him?” Jeremy Foster leaned down close to her face before replying. “Soon. Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” Then switching the lights back to their usual dim night setting he made his way out of her room. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Pacing back and forth like an expectant father Murtagh Fitzgibbons turned when he heard muted footsteps echo in the Med Lab. On seeing the doctor leave Claire’s room, he forgot his promise to Bóinne Rivière and rushed over towards him before she could speak with him about his request. “Hey Doc!” He called out stopping in his tracks, “I’m sure glad you’re still here.” “Murtagh,” he acknowledged turning around at the sound of his voice. ‘What are you doing here?” “I came to see Jamie and Claire. Is that okay?” “No … not really. Both patients need their rest and you will only tire them out I’m afraid.” “But Doc?” he protested, “I need to know if Jamie is out of the woods and how is Claire? You said to come back in twenty-four hours and it is well past that. So, what about it? Hey? Give a man a break.”  He looked at the pleading face of the man who had miraculously saved both of Section’s top operatives, and relented. “Okay … you can see Jamie with me, but Claire has just gone back to sleep.” “Thanks Doc … I owe you one … Big time!” “Just make it quick … okay.” “Okay … I’ll be in and out like Flynn. Trust me,” he replied hoping that the doctor would appreciate this little bit of humour. Jeremy Foster noticed the slightly raised eyebrow of the wizened operative’s reply and smiled. Although he knew  Fitzgibbons was keen to see how both his friends were, he wanted his patients to get as much uninterrupted rest as possible for what may lay ahead for them. Unnecessary or prolonged visits would not aid in their recuperation and they had to also deal with Section’s recalcitrant leaders at some point. The road ahead would be tough and while he could lessen the impact a little while they were in Med Lab he would do so.  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ As they made their way over to Jamie’s room, Dr Foster reiterated, “Very well, follow me but remember you can only stay a few moments.” “Sure thing Doc.”  Murtagh held his tongue as they walked along, but he was biting at the bit to ask him if Jamie was going to be okay and that if his blood supplies were adequate to see him through.

Considering all the trouble that he and Fergus had gone to and the chaos that had ensued in Section because of their escapades with the phantom breach, he wondered if his and his buddy’s little adventure had really all been for naught. He hoped that there may be a positive from all that had transpired despite what had happened during the course of the day. If only one thing had come from their adventure it was that he and Fergus had solidified their friendship even if Fergus wasn’t too cognizant of that point at this moment. In time they would look back at what they’d done with a sense of pride that they were able to outwit TPTB … well so far anyway. 

Also, the information they’d found of Jamie’s relationship with the Mackenzie brothers was also very enlightening.  It explained a lot … Operations antagonism towards his Level 5 operative and his partner Claire as well as Colum’s unannounced visits to Section One. Obviously, there was something deep going on between the brothers and it certainly involved James Fraser one way or another.  Jamie was most certainly unaware of the connection but why was it being hidden from him?  It was certainly a mystery wrapped up in a conundrum that hopefully would be solved before too long.  

Trying to wrap his head around all these thoughts was nigh impossible at the moment so Murtagh concentrated on the here and now with Dr Foster.

“We didn’t hear from you in the last 24 hours … so does that mean Jamie is doing much better Doc?” “Decidedly so,” he replied looking over at Murtagh understanding the hidden meaning in his question. Dr Foster happened to notice an unusual expression crisscross the older operative’s face. He nearly missed it but Murtagh wasn’t fast enough to compose himself. He raised a slight eyebrow before asking quietly, “You didn’t do anything stupid … did you?” If only the Doc could read his mind. Classified Intel was hard to access but they had given it their best shot and, in the end, they had unwittingly discovered much more than they had bargained for and that in itself was a major coup in his mind. Their experience had also given him an adrenalin rush like the one being in the field … a feeling that was oh, so good. 

Murtagh  looked at Dr Foster and answered rather sheepishly. “No … No … Of course not. I was just asking out of curiosity.”  They soon reached ICU and entered. “Hmm?” he mumbled under his breath not quite convinced with his answer but he dismissed his misgivings anyway and replied. “Good. I wouldn’t want to see you put into abeyance for disobedience Fitzgibbons.” “Neither would I Doc. Neither would I.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dr Foster entered ICU and approached James Fraser’s bed as Murtagh trailed in behind him. Taking his file from the base of the bed he quickly read the nursing staff’s notes to check on the patient’s progress over the last few hours. Closing the file, he then looked up at the patient. Jamie was breathing soundly and all his vital signs were back to normal. He was also pleased to see that colour had finally returned to his face since having the blood transfusions. Due to his conditioning and fitness what had appeared to be a crisis in the happening had been avoided. It was evident that his patient was surely on the road to recovery and had turned a corner despite the critical trauma he had faced when he’d first come into Med Lab. The physician was confident that both Claire and Jamie would bounce back from their wounds and be ready for any future assignments Madeline and Operations had in store for them with the Rising Dragons’ mission. 

It had been well over 24 hours since Murtagh had seen Jamie and although he was shocked to see the IV drip and monitors surrounding him, he hoped that the worst was finally behind him. His eyes scanned all the equipment and monitors that the Level 5 operative was hooked up to, and as Dr Foster checked his vitals, Murtagh watched the persistent beats of the heart rate monitor at his bedside as it beeped. He also watched the liquid in Jamie’s intravenous drip make its way into his body giving him the nourishment to get better.

Darting his eyes from Dr Foster to Jamie then back to the doctor he tried to gauge his body language. “Is Jamie going to be okay Doc?” The physician looked at him with a wry smile that spoke volumes … it was obvious that James Fraser was going to pull through and there would be no need for additional units of blood.

“He’s stabilized and that’s a good sign.” He was thankful for that Intel even if he and Fergus had risked life and limb to ascertain what Madeline and Operations had had classified about their number one operative. He was a glass half full guy and thus could take a positive out of a negative from their situation. If nothing else living on the edge made each situation a challenge but also a necessity to survive here in Section One. Knowing that at any time you could be killed or put into abeyance meant that you lived what life you had in this hell hole to the fullest … and he and Fergus had certainly done that. What they’d done was dangerous but it was also exciting and exhilarating … it made you feel alive and that was vital to survival in Section. The patient was asleep and Murtagh didn’t want to disturb him unnecessarily by overstaying his visit. He looked back at Dr Foster asking in a hushed tone, “Will he recover fully?” “I don't see why not. He is still in good shape and has the strength to come out of this very well considering that he has been put through the wringer.” “Will there be any complications?” “As long as no infection occurs to his wound, he should be back to normal and as fit as a Mallee bull before we know it.”  “How long will that be do you think?” "It's hard to say ... perhaps a week maybe more depending on how fast he heals. I’ve suggested both he and Claire have some recuperation time away from Section. This will help immensely.”  "That’s good to know. I hope Madeline and Ops think so too." “Yes … that could be a stumbling block, but I’m working on it.” “Yeah … well good luck with that,” Murtagh replied knowing that an immovable object or possibly two, may have just been placed in the way of Jamie and Claire’s recovery. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ As they were quietly talking Murtagh turned his head when he heard Jamie take a deep breath. He was still a bit groggy, but nevertheless he looked around him until his gaze finally settled on the two men standing next to his bed. Jamie tried to sit up, then stopped, wincing in pain.  “Mmmm.” “Hey … How are you feeling?” Jamie knew that voice of concern and taking a deep breath moved his head so that he could look at Murtagh. “Like I've been shot.”  “Yeah. You were shot on the retrieval Mission ... in Hong Kong,”

“Hong Kong?” He was a little disorientated and closing his eyes Jamie rubbed his forehead, trying to remember what happened next.  A little alarmed at Jamie’s lack of recollection about the mission at the monastery and by his rhetorical answer and gestures, he asked, “Do you remember?”  Jamie’s eyes were closed as he spoke. “Aye … we were trapped in the monastery ... you rescued us ...” then without finishing his sentence he suddenly sighed darting his eyes to Murtagh then to the doctor. “Where's Operations? I need to debrief.”  “They’ve seen you already Jamie.” “Do they ken?” As he listened his face showed no expression.  “Yes, they know … I’m sure your mission debrief can wait.” The report was really secondary to what he actually wanted to know … but protocol required him to think of his obligations to Section first but it was not his primary concern. With the one pressing question hovering on his lips, James Fraser turned his head towards Dr Foster and asked solemnly, “How is Claire?” His patient was agitated and that was not good so he checked Jamie carefully for any relapse in his vital signs.  Dr Foster hoped that his next answer would appease some of his concern. “She’s doing very well,” he replied.

“Thank ye.” He spoke softly as if the words he’d just heard were a cool balm that had almost instantaneously made him feel better.  Jamie closed his eyes briefly and opening them he stared up at the ceiling before uttering in a voice cracking with emotion, “Can I see her?” “Not yet ... but soon.” “Soon? How soon?”  “I’m sure it will only be a day or two Jamie, and then you'll be able to see her.” Murtagh chipped in. “You need to build up your strength. You have to rest.”  “I’m fine.” Jeremy Foster had experienced James Fraser’s stoicism on other occasions when he’d been in Med Lab and he expected nothing less from the Level 5 operative. On the rare occasions that he’d been sent to medical, this man had often said he was “fine” even when he’d been bleeding all over the floor, but this time he was not well enough … just yet … to be going anywhere until his IV unit was out. The physician understood his frustration at being confined to a hospital bed but unfortunately there was little he could do about it. James Fraser was here and that was that.  “I’m sure you are fine Jamie … but … we need to look after you first. Press the buzzer if you need anything. And try to do what Murtagh suggests … get some rest, hmmm?"  “That’s right,” the munition’s expert reiterated like a concerned father. “O-kay.”

They heard Jamie’s softly spoken slurred reply as the two men turned and quietly left his room so that he could sleep. Although he was not yet able to visit his Sassenach his thoughts were anything but far away from the woman he loved. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Rest? How could he possibly rest knowing that his beautiful Claire was so close and he was unable to see her? He detested being in Med Lab and would rather discharge himself than be here one day longer than necessary. He moved in bed trying to get comfortable but comfort eluded him. The level of pain in his chest was almost bearable … if he didn’t move … but the pain of not being able to see his Claire was more unbearable. He was uncertain if he could wait another hour before being able to see for himself that she was okay. The worst thing was the not knowing what was going on outside these walls but particularly in her room. He’d been in here for over 24 hours but he had to rely on others for Intel on her progress. How much longer would he have the IV drip in for? Hopefully he would be recovered enough to have it removed tomorrow … then he would see her. He had to believe that his Sassenach was okay. He couldn’t bear to think of any other alternative. He’d lost count of how many times he’d repeated the same mantra over and over in his head, “I can bear pain myself, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have.” He couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Claire in any kind of discomfort and he needed to know that she was now okay. Lying here in bed with his brave Sassenach within reach but also too far away was killing him. Murtagh and Dr Foster wouldn’t dare lie to him that’s for sure, so it must be true that everything was okay... that she was okay, but until he saw her with his own eyes, he was not convinced.  Pushing himself up into a better sitting position, Jamie grimaced as his wound started to throb unmercifully. He grimaced in anguish but gritted his teeth until the pain dissipated. He had a high threshold for pain and he wasn’t going to let a bullet wound be a setback. The surgeons had done a mammoth job of piecing him back together and because of his innate determination to fight affliction, he willed himself to be better. Jamie didn’t care about his pain. That was of no consequence … what he did care about was the hurt that his courageous Sassenach had suffered at the hands of the Rising Dragons. What motivated his recovery even more was the thought of the pain that he would inflict on the people who had hurt her. Only then would he be satisfied and then Claire would also be able to move on from the consequences of this mission.

Staring vacantly at the IV line poking out of the back of his left hand, Jamie’s thoughts turned to what would happen when they left Med Lab. 

There was no way known that he or Claire would be able to resume the Rising Dragons’ mission before they were fully recovered. So, he was totally resolute that come what may, the two of them would be out of here and away from the prying eyes of Section One and their superiors to recuperate.  Consumed by these thoughts of his love, James Fraser soon succumbed to the lure of sleep.  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ to be continued Tuesday 12th May

[ocular-intercourse]

every once in a while, i am remembered that i should probably nail down what exactly is in the realm of possibilities with the enhancements in the gyoverse

is the process government regulated, or more of a talent thing, the way anybody can learn how to draw with enough patience? I think it’s a mixture of both, people are not forbidden to gain certain abilities, you literally can’t keep it from happening, those are just things that can develop naturally when a person has the right mindset, but it’s also a dangerous process if certain levels are reached and things go wrong, so the government tries to keep certain levels.. I guess certified? At the very least registered. If you gain a certain amount of power you will be observed.

So there are two areas of use: personal & professional life.

In personal life a person can develop certain helpful abilities, imagine a fisherman training himself without trying to a point of being able to sense the location of fishes in the water. It’s very close to people in our world who just get very very skilled in their labor and get the ability to do specific things simply by experience (the way people in food stores can eyeball the weight of a specific item and be 100% right). Those are not particularly ‘powerful’ per se, more little every day helpers that might not even entirely get recognized as an enhancement. A lot of these abilities are inherited, but that might be less of a genetic thing and more grounded in the upbringing, environment, and education, one person teaching their skills and experiences to the next generation and them developing these enhancements themselves.

Then there’s professional life especially in jobs that are highly competitive, because everybody wants to be the best they can be in their field so naturally they would use any tools they can get their hands on. The biggest example of course is the army. The country with the strongest soldiers wins, so there have been raised standards and whoever cannot reach them loses by default. Hence the imperial army usually weeding out people with insufficient talent for the enhancements (thembo supreme raime being an exception). A whole nation selecting and breeding for the ultimate warriors at all times. There have been certain Levels established, a class of soldiers with Level A, Level B, Level C (those are not the actual names I’m still workshopping here), each with stronger abilities than the last. I imagine there are tests, either on set dates, or evaluations a person can apply for, to be moved to the next class (and get more pay and status). These Levels of evaluating a person’s capabilities can vary from job to job. A soldier with Level B would probably score lower in a scientific, research-based field, it’s all depending on how good you are at the enhancements that are useful for your job. (Army standard’s being pretty much universally accepted as the most powerful and useful skillsets and therefore valued the most)

Now this feels like a JRPG leveling system. My character’s skillset scores are Army Level C, Medicine Level A and Barter Level B+. (Now I’m picturing Trading Cards with your favorite Soldiers. Noor has one and every skill is at S cause propaganda. Gyo’s is a lot of S with worse scores in anything communicative, also S+ in immortality)

But what are the basic and less basic abilities a soldier can gain?

At base level are physical enhancements. More stamina, more strength, more agility, general healthiness (better immune system, faster gradual healing).

Followed by your base senses of smell, taste, sight, hearing and feeling. Later Levels of this ability include higher control, shutting down some senses or enhancing only one.

A little bit more difficult are things that need tighter control. The ability to influence your digestion, your blood flow, your oxygen intake. You can go longer on less food and air, you can slow your bleeding down, or trigger adrenaline rushes at will.

The next step is adding supernatural senses. The ability to feel the presence of other people, even at a distance and out of sight. The more trained you are in this area the better the feel is you get on the person and their intent. You cannot read minds, but you can certainly feel anger or admiration, general feelings or moods.

The next step is learning how to hide these things in yourself. These can cancel each other out depending on who is involved. A person that is good at hiding their intent can not hide it as well if the other person is better at seeing people’s intent than they are at hiding it.

The next step would be considered elemental magic by most standards. You can create a spark of flame, a bit of fluid, a gust of wind. These will most likely not be impressive flame thrower like attacks or anything, but can be practical here or there.

Also magical but more difficult, and mostly requires the student of this direction to split from developing other enhancements to concentrate solely on this area to be effective: healing magic. Gyo for example has mostly ignored healing magic, he can keep wounds shut enough to keep someone from losing blood but he cannot close them entirely, while Noor chose to stop their studies of techniques that would help in fights to focus on learning how to heal and nurture (it’s not only wounds, they can also relieve pain and control infections and other things). To be skilled in both is incredibly difficult and I don’t think it is currently seen. Something must be put on hold to learn other powerful things, so you have to pick and chose what you want to be proficient in. It is also an ability you can only use on others and not yourself, so most soldiers (at least those that get to this point and are therefore most likely power hungry in some way) chose to ignore it for something that helps themselves rather than others.

A similar direction but removed from regular healing magic because that focuses on healing other people while this is entirely self-focused: the next level of the control over your own body, the ability to sustain the body without meeting nutritional needs or rest. Beginners of this Level can go several days without sleep or rest, depending on a.. let’s say amount of ‘spiritual’ energy they have gathered before. They are, in that moment, basically feeding their body’s needs from this energy. The better you are at this, the longer you can go. This Level is only reached by those soldiers, that are willing to focus as much on their intellectual studies as they do on physical training. Many talented soldiers who exceed in fights get frustrated by these requirements. The ultimate Level of Control over your own body is the step Gyo has reached where he entirely halted all aging and is practically immortal, if not killed or dying of an illness. I imagine it has a lot to do with gathering such a vast amount of energy, that you can feed on it indefinitely, because you have learned to gain the energy quicker than you deplete it. There are earlier levels of this ability when you learn how to stretch less energy and slow down your aging instead of halting it completely. (many ppl in or out of the army will try to gain some bits of this ability to prolong their lives, everybody wants to squeeze a bit more out of it if they can) There are varying degrees of aging speed depending on the person’s skill level and energy intake.

The problem, aside from many people not having the mental or physical requirements to begin with, and the fortitude, discipline and patience to stick with it, is that said energy is also extremely volatile. People who begin gathering it often get overwhelmed by moodswings, the energy wanting to get out and presenting itself in any way that is currently available for it to be released by, whether that is physical or psychological. In higher concentrations the amount of energy can be literally corroding if your body and mind are not prepared to handle it. People carrying a large amount of energy can be caught in a bad moment and lose the ability to contain the energy, often with catastrophic consequences, definitely for the person themselves, sometimes for their surroundings too. People on Gyo’s Level are basically walking nukes, he could take out a small town if he ever lost it. Key to get to where Gyo is, is a strong enough anchor, a feeling or a motivation that drives you that is enough to sustain your willpower. (While in universe the idea is more philosophical, trained soldiers being told “think of something that motivates you”, this is more literal than they think. Gyo’s current anchor is wrath, that is why his sword which is known for its gruesome owners, attached itself to him. You could see the wrath as a fingerprint scan, if he did not have it, the sword would not work for him. A person’s anchor can also switch, which Gyo’s will, eventually, to his need to protect, and it will cause trouble with his sword and I assume some of the ways his other abilities have worked for him in the past)

The different Levels soldiers can be classified as are defined by a combination of these abilities, since each of them have multiple levels (from lesser to higher control over your body, stronger elemental magic and so on). So, to reach Level A you need Skill A Ability Score 1, Skill B Ability Score 1, Skill C Ability Score 1 while reaching a higher Level requirement might look more like Skill A Ability Score 2 Skill B Ability Score 3 Skill C Ability Score 6. So, a test that would allow you to reach the next Level would test how high your Ability Scores in each Skill are and see where that lands you. So even if your Levels are Skill A Ability Score 6 and Skill B Ability Score 6 if you do not have Ability Score 6 in Skill C you will not reach that higher Level. Gyo probably has all Skills maxed out (except healing but that one is counted separately since the army knows most soldiers will not reach high Ability Scores here).

But like I said, this Grade System is army specific. In another job field requirements might look more for skills that help you read and retain information faster, or specialize in reading other people and putting pleasant emotions out there to influence others.

This also explains Raime’s situation. While they are, from birth on, unable to gain these things that count as army recognized enhancements, they have an ability more on par with those private uses that develop naturally through talent and repetition. They DO technically have enhancements, but they are exclusively social, enhanced emotional intelligence if you will. The ability to read people, not the way the army enhancement works where it is basically a  supernatural sense you gain, but more through being able to instinctively read faces and voices and putting together what that means rather than sensing it. 

I don’t think this is entirely a class system based on your Level of enhancements, but typically people with enhancements are respected more, more so if they are high skilled in ‘popular’ fields (a soldier Level A will be more respected than a Scientist Level A). There is definitely a certain pressure to gain certain Levels, especially in higher society. If a first born noble does not gain high army Levels they are considered shameful.

[healedserpent]

After the trial, you feel a spike in your strength. whereas you might have doubted it before, now it's clearer that the blood of immortals courses through your veins. you're quicker and stronger than you've ever felt before. one night, you fall asleep and "awake" in a dream. something about it is familiar, like you've been there, or maybe you've seen it from somewhere. describe where you are.

Julian rises in his dream, but things are different after the trial. Doubt in his abilities have weakened, replaced by a confidence forged by his allies. He's back in Chicago, but not where he works: he's at the scene of the accident that claims his aunt hours later. He watches steam roll off the van that t-boned his range rover. The night shelters the color of blood on the upholstery and dashboard, while blue and red lights flash in the distance, drawing near like thunder in a storm.

The scene is grim, bringing back pained memories that has left a mark on you like the scars of battles you already have endured. But even in this moment, under the dark sky and bright lights of the ambulances, you notice an ambiguous presence amongst the accident. What does the shape look like? is it a man? a woman? a creature? describe its features.

Julian doesn't know what to make of it. He sees his aunt in the car, unconscious from the force that hit her side and reduced the passenger side to a range of metallic mountains and ridges. He squints, stepping forward and over the shards of glass, plastic, and metal that strew the aged asphalt. Scales glimmer and shine under reds and blues while a slitted gaze meets him. It's a snake, something unnatural on the roads of Chicago. "There's never snakes. There never was one, that day," he mutters with a scowl.

With ease, the incorporeal form shifts into a snake. For a moment it seems like it was taking the terrible sight in as well but soon enough, it's attention goes back to the doctor, sizing him up before it started to make their way to him. Does he recognize the type of snake it was? Did it appear to be large or something sleek?

Julian finds himself stepping forward, not away, as the form slithers along the accident-laden ground, going over plastic and metal and oil alike as if it's nothing. While the ambulance and police lights shutter over its scales, he can discern with enough knowledge that it's a snake he's seen from his research at camp: rat snake. While they're normally a foot or two long, this one seems larger. Heavier, as though it's grown from age, perhaps Julian's height if he dares to lift it.

It's scales shined deceivingly beautiful under the different sources of light, almost as if they truly weren't black without all of it. The snake slithered across the wreckage, meeting the demigod halfway until they were at Julian's feet. It might have been unbelievable, but it seemed like it wanted to talk to you, but the voice was ever-changing. When you concentrate, what does the snake sound like to you?

He stops in place, headlights searing into the back of his head and form, casting a large, imposing silhouette over the wreckage. Julian's blue eyes gain a cerulean shine under the headlights, squinting as voices of a myriad of accents and age greets his ears. Young and old, rugged and smooth, its a cacophony of noise that slowly deduces to a low, smooth tone. The snake resembles one of his leads in residency, the very man that introduces him to surgery and became his mentor. Smooth, patient, and sporting a Germanic accent.

"My, my, my... Julian you have grown so much," the snake finally said out loud to the demigod. Despite not showing any expressions on its face, the voice was familiar and smooth, as if it was happy to see the man. "Not where I expected to see you again. Actually, why this place, Julian?"

His heart leaps from his chest, coating the back of his throat in a metallic taste. He swallows and adjusts himself, ever curious on the voice and the surgeon that it belongs to. "It's been a while, Erik," he says as a soft laugh weaves his words. He gestures around, "Here? The accident that claimed my aunt's life and almost mine, too," he explains. He tries to be casual, but the memory of her death gives his words a crisp nature, as though he wants to move on from the pain. "I didn't realize how fragile life could be until this moment. Maria didn't deserve to go," he murmurs the last part.

It notices the struggle in Julian's infliction of his words, slowly hissing at him as if it was its attempt to soothe the man. "Life is a delicate thing. It comes and go. Can be taken or saved," the snake said in the familiar German accent that Julian knew. "What do you think best describes you, Julian? Do you see yourself being that breath of life or the one who ends their agony? Or perhaps... something in between?"

Julian pauses, there. He lowers his head under the warm light. Sweat forms at his brow and his hands, bloodied and cut, flex at his sides. "That it can be," he affirms. Memories of his first quest, memories of his past patients flood his mind. All the ones that he's save and all the ones he's lost. Life and death, a fine line in medicine. He swallows at the memory of Keaton, Jared, and himself almost dying in the span of months. All on his dime, the healer. But he's saved them--he's saved himself and brought them back. "In between," he announces, looking to the snake, "I am the mediator. Medicine is used to heal, whether that be through prolonging a life or giving it a peaceful end."

"Well, the world does need balance. Life and death seem to be that, but it's intriguing to hear how described it, almost as if death is just as much as a favor as life," the snaked hummed. As he finished his sentence Julian notices men taking her corpse and putting it in a body bag. They ask you if you would want to go back to the hospital with them. Do you?

Julian finds tears forming unbeknownst to him, little creeks glistening down his cheeks as Maria's carted off five feet away. "People think death is a horrible end, but for some, it's a wonderful beginning," he phrases, meeting the snake's slitted, knowing gaze. He looks to the paramedics and then the snake. It's a dream, yet he has a responsibility to his family that can't be ignored. "I need to go with her. Be with her," he tells the snake. "She may be dead, but she can't be alone."

Julian and the Snake are ushered into the ambulance, and the ride is eerily quiet, almost as if the paramedics forgot he was there. "Your father would be so proud, Julian. You truly are following his steps and coming into your own," The snake assured the demigod as they began to arrive to the hospital. But as they were entering the waiting room, they were stopped from going into the morgue. When he looked around, he sees three men--no, three demigods in stretchers, in different, terrible conditions. "Seems to be your comrades, who are they and what happened to them?"

Julian smiles faintly but it doesn't meet his eyes. He bows his head as lights fly by the windows and the ambulance is driven to the hospital's other half: morgue. "You know about him?" he muses, looking over at the snake, "you aren't Erik, not exactly, are you?" he asks, not in hostility but much rather curiosity. 

His attention shifts to the bodies and his heart stops. Julian looks at the group, the first one Keaton, laid back on the stretcher in blood and sweat, with a convulsing fit here and there that spills blood from his mouth and onto the man's clothes, much like the night in Alexandria warrants. The one beside him is Jared, the fair-haired and kind man that suffers deep wounds and bleeding from Astraea's blades, while little sparks of red electricity shock at his poor muscles. The last...the last one is Remy. Unconscious and suffering a deep blow to the stomach, with leaves and branches pressed or embedded in his flesh from Demeter's trial. 

He retains his composure at the cost of his heart and lungs. "Keaton, Jared, and Remy. They are the demigods that almost lost their lives on my watch. Keaton nearly drowned in blood, Jared almost taken down by the demigoddess Astraea's blade, and Remy from a corrupt guardian. Remy's the only one I wasn't able to save at my own hand; another demigod sacrificed themself in his stead."

"No..." The Snake responds. "But I am here to help you on your journey and this seems to be what will make the transition to godhood easier for you, which... seems to be much rougher than you anticipated." The snake looks over to the three men, barely older enough to not be considered boys anymore. Their surroundings seem to fade away, the people occupying the space around them disappearing before all there was just the three demigods and him. "What do you feel, Julian? Do you feel the need to help them or seek revenge? What will you do?"

Julian gives a feeble chuckle, running his hand through his hair, "You can say that. I'm used to the stress from the hospital, but this? Monsters, gods, and all that? It's hard to describe," he admits. He watches as surroundings give way, leaving him with the evidence of his falters. The proof of his mistakes. Anger rises in his heart but it isn't at the culprits of their injuries, but at himself. He feels that it's his fault they're like this, whether from a lack of promptness on his part or inexperience in the realm of demigods. 

In the end, his anger shifts to concern, and from there: drive. "I feel the need to help them," he says, "I am the one that contributed to their injuries. I have to help, I need to get them better and maintain their health." He walks over, putting his hand in Keatons' to give it a squeeze. Then he checks on Jared, sifting his fingers through his hair, and at last rubbed at Remy's arm gently. They deserved more. "I will be there for them. Use my abilities that I've been born with, and what I've learned in med school, to help and mend and support them. I cannot fight the fight like they do, but I can make sure they return to the battlefield stronger than before."

With the determination in his voice alone, it seems like the three of the fallen demigods have been healed, able to continue forth in their battle. "Thank you for showing me who you are. You have proved to have an amazing sense of self, it only makes me want to see you continue in your journey, and what you will become." The snake was unable to smile, but there was a warm aura emanating from him that came close to it. "There will be things putting your resolve to the test, but I will be here to help you. Are you ready?"

Julian almost steps back as the three demigods heal miraculously from their ailments. No longer on the brink of death, they're able to fight the good fight once more. Julian returns his gaze to the snake and his lips curled gently. He knows it isn't going to be easy, but that means the success is more rewarding. "I am. The camp needs a good healer to have their back. If I'm not ready to improve now, then when will I be?"

"I guess you're right, my boy," the snake muses. "But remember to take care of yourself, they may depend on you but you are worthy of help as well. Until next time, Julian. Make us proud."

[lemonsandstrawberries]

Goodbye - Figaro Drabble #14

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

universe: Figaro universe, Superfamily (Tony and Steve adopting Peter Parker)

summary: Nothing can last forever and inviting a pet into your life means saying goodbye one day.

warning: pet death (peaceful and after a long life, but still death)

length: 2 323 words

a/n: I didn’t think that I would have to say goodbye to one more of my cats this year, but we tried, we fought, we lost. I couldn’t do anything more for you, just hold you in my arms, as you moved on. I know that we will see each other again and for now, I promise that your bowl, your sleeping spot, and the love I can’t give you anymore will be for another cat you will send my way. I love you and I will miss you, Little Eye ❤. this fic is for you and everyone who ever lost their pets, please, don’t close your heart and homes, it hurts, I know, but the happy moments outweigh the pain. this is not the last Figaro fic, just my goodbye to my cat and my statement. soon will be back on a happier note, just need some time to rest and heal

————

Goodbye - Figaro Drabble #14

It was… horrible to watch, yet everyone couldn't take their eyes off the scene. Even Natasha, who was skilled in hiding her emotions, had a hand pressed to her mouth stifling the sobs matching the glossy look in her eyes.

"Sweetheart…"

A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, yet Tony curled in himself, a heart-wrenching sob shaking his whole body and twisting everyone's heart.

"Tony… It's… It is okay now."

Tony choked on his tears, holding the bundle closer. It wasn't okay. It never again would be okay. He felt the small frame and lifeless body he was holding wrapped in a blanket and he couldn't stop crying.

Steve looked at the back at his team, unsure what to do. He received no help. No one wanted to interfere this moment, knowing that it was theirs. Even Peter didn't move, his head cast down as silent tears were rolling down his cheeks and falling to the grass. Clint's hand was resting on his godson's arm in the same consoling manner as Steve kept his hand on his husband's shoulder.

Bruce, silent and with a stoic expression, hid the syringe away into the material pouch. As cruel the words were, everything went fine. He passed away peacefully after a long life of happiness and love.

"Tony," it was Rhodey who first stepped out, feeling that if the moments got any longer, Tony won't be able to end it. He knew that Steve was shaken and grieving himself, but it was time to move on. "Tony, he is gone. It is over."

The words were needed but made Tony's pain explode with a whole new force. He curled even more, almost laying on the soft soil, the wind carrying his cries. Maybe not yet. Maybe he still could feel. They couldn't take him away unless he was sure there was nothing left.

Rhodey looked over at Bruce who gave a confirming nod. The first shot was a sedative, to let him drift into a painless sleep. The second shot was the drug, to stop the heart and brain functions. The dose was precise and there was no mistake.

"Tony, give me Figaro," Rhodey asked in a demanding, yet soft voice. He saw how hard it was for his friend to let go and prolonging this moment would be just more scarring.

Tony didn't answer, only shook his head vigorously, tears streaming quicker with the movement.

"Do you want to carry him?"

Tony nodded. Slowly, and with Steve's help, he stood up, carrying his cat's lifeless body wrapped in a blanket. They all moved in silence, in a grim march, to the back yard of Clint's farm, where Steve had dug a grave earlier. Tony kneeled in front of the soft soil and for the last time run his hand over the blanket, dimly feeling the soft fur that in the last week became matted and thinner. He placed the bundle down, next to the old fish on a rod that was Figaro's favorite toy and a bit of dry cat food in a material bag, in case his cat would get hungry on his way.

"Bye Fig," Tony whispered in a broken voice, tears streaming down his cheeks, "I will always remember you," he closed his eyes, seeing it all again. The day he saw the small kitten on the street, shocked, with a broken paw. The squeaky meows during the first night at the new home. The warm weight, covering his whole torso as Figaro cuddled to him, purring happily. The way Tony shook his head each time, he found that one of his best formal suits was once again all covered in black, long fur. The happy moments and the sad days when Figaro stopped eating, not leaving his hiding spot and meowing in distress. There was no cure for old age. He could only help him to move on without any pain. Tony grabbed the small shovel and put the first mound of earth, saying the final goodbye to his long-time friend. Steve kneeled next to Tony and placed the second.

"Bye buddy," he smiled sadly, eyes shining with tears, "we will meet again one day," he stood up, holding Tony with him, as the rest of the team and their son walked closer to say their goodbye. The couple stood in the distance, Tony hidden into Steve and sobbing, not able to stop. Steve kept rubbing his back, knowing that there was no way to stop it anyway. The pain won't go away on demand and only time could heal his heart and let him see again all the happiness and erase the sadness.

Skillfully, Clint placed the big, marble-like stone on top of the ground. Engraved letters 'Figaro - The First Cat Avenger' sparkled in the sun, reminding of happier days.

"You can visit him whenever you want," Clint turned to Tony, putting a hand on his friend's arm and squeezing reassuringly. "Don't worry, Lucky will take good care of him," he smiled as Figaro's grave was next to his dog's grave. Two years ago, Clint had to go through the same ordeal when Lucky stopped eating and lost his strength, not able to walk anymore. He knew what Tony was going through and how painful it was.

Tony nodded his thanks, not able to smile or say a word, not yet.

"Figaro was a mighty, noble cat," Thor rumbled in a low, pleasant voice. "He will be welcomed in Valhalla with opened arms."

Peter didn't join his uncles who went to talk with his dads. He stayed near the grave and looked at the sparkling stone. His dad was heartbroken and he felt the same way. Of course, he didn't remember when as a baby he was adopted, but his earliest memories always included Figaro. He remembered tugging on the cat's tail, and Figaro being remarkably patient with him. He remembered the first time when he was able to lift the almost thirty-pound cat and how proud he was, carrying the cat around when he was less than ten years old, hearing his dads cheering on him. The time he became Spider-Man and how confused he was with his powers and the sudden changes, and Figaro in his lap, purring out comfort and grounding him back. Figaro was Tony's cat, always had been, but Peter loved him equally strong and easily considered his best friend. It was hard to say goodbye, even if Figaro happily lived to twenty years old, which was pretty remarkable for a cat.

"You okay, kiddo?"

He wasn't a kid anymore, but when he looked at Natasha, his eyes were full of tears. Maybe it was the sun playing tricks, but he could swear that there were also tears in his aunt's eyes.

"Come on, let's head back," she said, extending her hand to the teenager, and walking with him back to the farmhouse, the rest of the team already waiting inside. The apple cider was heating up on the stove and they all could have a warm mug of comfort.

The days were passing, and life was going back to normal. Peter observed his dads, and the way Tony was closing in himself, spending more time in the workshop than he should. He could understand it and knew that his father always bottled his emotions by working himself half to death. His other dad, of course, didn't like it but didn't know how to help and let Tony slip away each morning, not stopping him, letting Tony heal at his own pace.

Peter took in his own hands to make them a family again. He looked through many cat lovers forum, reading about people's experiences with losing their pets and the way they handled the loss and emptiness. There was one sentence that kept repeating every few posts, and while Peter felt disgusted at first, considering it cruel and heartless to move on so soon, it slowly made sense to him and sounded like a good remedy.

"You want to adopt a cat?" Steve asked, lowering the newspaper and frowning at his son.

"Yhm," Peter nodded. No cat would ever replace Figaro, but if they could give a home to a cat in need, why not? He missed having a cat in the house and had a feeling that it might help Tony with his feelings.

"I don't know, Pete…" Steve sighed, folding the paper and thinking about his husband. About how dull his eyes became in the last weeks and how nothing seemed to make him happy anymore. Bringing in a cat not even a month after Figaro's passing away, seemed harsh on his grieving husband. "Maybe we should wait until your dad will feel better and ask if he is ready for a new cat."

Peter tilted his head to the side, eyeing his father. "Do you think he will get better?"

"Of course," Steve lied right away. It may take more days, or more weeks or months, but Tony would move on. They both just needed to give him time and support and be patient.

"Pops…" Peter ran both hands through his hair, sounding genuinely distressed. "I am worried. And I read some articles and I think it really might help. Us all," he added in a quieter voice.

Steve's heart broke a little. He knew that not only their small family was missing Figaro, but every resident of the Avengers Tower did too. He missed having a cat. Wakening up with a face full of fur and having to share his bacon with a little, greedy critter. Sometimes he caught himself in the kitchen, holding a stripe a raw bacon while the pan was heating up and waiting for soft paws to come running and a begging meowing concert to start, before he realized that those moments were not coming back and green eyes won't look at him pleadingly, trying to get a piece.

"Alright," he agreed, hiding back behind the newspaper, "tomorrow we will go to the shelter, but I can't promise anything."

It was all Peter needed and Steve could practically see his son's huge smile from behind the newspaper.

Tomorrow came soon, and Steve was mentally preparing himself for the trip to the shelter. He didn't tell Tony about his and Peter's plan, and as soon as his husband took the elevator down to his workshop, they left the Tower and got into the car, not knowing if they would come back with a new family member.

It wasn't planned, but as soon as Peter saw the cat, he knew it belonged in the Avengers family. On their way back, they picked up all necessary things to welcome the newest resident, accompanied by sweet purring.

"Tony, sweetheart."

Tony lifted his head and moved the goggles up to his hairline, stopping welding for a second, when he heard his husband calling.

Hoping that everything would turn alright, Steve walked closer and smiled insecurely. "I and Peter want you to meet someone."

Just then, Peter walked from behind Steve's back, holding in his hands a carrier. Tony's eyes widened when he recognized Figaro's carrier and he looked at his husband, some anger shining in his eyes. Then he heard it. A meow. He opened his mouth to yell, to scold how dared they make this decision without him and that he wasn't ready and no cat would ever replace Figaro, when Peter put the carrier on the workbench and opened it, taking the pet out.

Immediately, Tony lost his voice, eyes not leaving the cat for even a second.

"This is Stella," Peter introduced with a smile, putting the cat on the bench and petting her for comfort. The cat looked frightened and turned her eyes to Tony, sensing a new person.

Tony blinked, seemingly taken aback. It wasn't a kitten, but an adult cat, and was nothing like Figaro. She was short hair and lean, gray and striped and looked like an ordinary alley cat. There was nothing special about her, nothing that would make her stand out from the other cats. What was more, when she turned her face to Tony, he saw milky blue eyes, nothing like the beautiful vivid green of his Figaro. This cat was blind.

His husband and son came back with an old, blind cat.

Tony's heart beat faster, when the cat let out a tiny meow, feeling that her fate became questionable. Gently, Tony took a step closer and extended his hand. Stella smelled it and head-butted the offered palm graciously.

It was their first encounter and Steve watched with a nervously beating heart how it would develop. Peter kept smiling brightly, already knowing.

Slowly and delicately, Tony took the cat in his hands, causing the cat to struggle nervously at first, until he pressed her to his chest and stroked down the short fur, cooing lovingly. Her fur was a bit matted, but on the right diet, she would become even more beautiful.

"She is perfect," Tony whispered, cuddling the calmed down cat, listening to the happy purring. "I already love her," he said in a breaking voice, hiding his face into the cat's fur. Stella turned her head and brushed Tony's cheeks, her whiskers tickling a bit and Tony giggled quietly. "Let's get you some food. And I will show you where you can sleep," he cooed to the cat, heading to the door.

Steve looked at his beaming son, smiling happily, glad that he listened to the advice. Maybe he should give Peter more credit and listen to him more often. Tony was already looking better and it was the first time in weeks he saw his husband smiling again.

"Are you two coming?"

After the question, Peter and Steve quickly left the workshop, following Tony and Stella, who already became best friends. They wouldn't miss Stella's first day in her new forever home for the world.

----------

Little Eye appeared in Meow Cafe series as one of the original cats that were first in the cafe. In the fic she got adopted by an elderly couple who I based on my parents

[speaksfish]

                                  Arthur Curry : An Overview.

BASICS.

Given / Birth Name : Arthur Curry  Nickname / Preferred Name : Arthur  Alias(es) : Aquaman, King of Atlantis  Birthdate / Age : January 29th / Thirty - Nine  Place of Birth : Amnesty Bay, Maine  Current Location : Atlantis Gender Identity : Cis Male Sexual / Romantic Orientation : A bi boy through and through.   Ethnicity / Race / Cultural Heritage: Hawaiian (Polynesian) && Atlantean  Marital Status : Married Occupation : Monarch. An uncomfortable one.   Religious Beliefs : Polytheist / Spiritual in a sense. He claims to have seen enough to know one entity isn’t ( nor could ever be ) responsible for it all. So he chooses to believe that these greater forces move within us to affect our lives. Sometimes it’s for the better, often it’s to challenge us, make us move, inspire once unwilling growth. As far as naming these forces, Arthur has none, only a gut telling him there are various hands at play here and all are fighting for the steering wheel. Except Poseidon. Poseidon and his kin, in the wise words of Arthur Curry, can fuck right off.

CHARACTERISTICS.

Height : 6′4 Weight : Somewhere in the ballpark of 300 lbs.  Body Type / Build : Athletic / Strongman build. He’s pretty par for course as far as merging Atlantean and Humans go. Go team Humanoids.   Eye Color : It’s the new dress meme. Are they gold and white, are they blue and black ?? Just kidding, they’re blue.   Hair Color / Texture : A brunette with sun-bleached highlights. His hair may appear soft but it is not, it’s rough and more often than not covered in salt ( and other less favorable sea ) particles. Someone introduce a good cleansing shampoo to this beach waved boy. He once walked out onto a seafaring dock with a damn crab clipping his hair up.   Recognizable Features / Scars : His most notable scar is the one through his eyebrow. Got it during the first real scuffle between himself and Black Manta 2.0. The tattoos across his arms, shoulders, back and torso are also important to him. They’re what connect him to his polynesian routes, as tattoos were what they considered “all the armor one warrior needs”. Each design is also an attribute to the oceans more formidable marine life. Triangles ( both negative space and not ) representing the tooth of a shark while arrows represent the tails of manta rays or swordfish or the fins of whales ( etc ).   Speech Patterns / Accent : Arthur uses an incredible amount of colloquialism in his speech dating to the 90′s. He had a speaking inflection typical of east coast accents, however it’s not as noticeable with age. ( When speaking Atlantean it’s very clear that he has it. )   Languages Spoken : English and Atlantean prior to becoming a king. All languages afterward, one of the perks to his gig.  Powers / Skills / Abilities : Besides being able to powerlift your heart into the new year? He’s strong. It’s a vague area because he has overextended himself in the past, but the guy can throw nuclear subs and war ships at very specific targets and that’s nothing to bat a lash at. He has sonar capabilities and scary good hearing ( yet Bruce still scares the absolute piss out of him by sneaking around ). Atlantean physiology means withstanding great amounts of pressure, seeing in the dark, quicker than average healing times, longer strides, quicker reflexes and higher endurance. Abilities that are his own small mutations include marine ( and life that originates from the ocean, but weaker ) telepathy, resistance to telepaths, and is a fast swimmer. Crazy fast.    Overall Health : Average? 

RELATIONSHIPS.

Order of Birth : Eldest  Number of Siblings : 2, technically.  Father’s Status + Relationship : Tom Curry, retired. Tom Curry moved to Maine after a volcano covered roughly half of his family farm land in Hawaii. He used the money from that property to buy a worn down lighthouse, taking up a job as a fisherman shortly after to begin the process of making that his family home. He retired at the age of sixty but still manages the lighthouse during stormy weathers, as well as takes care of Arthur’s dog whenever his son is underseas for prolonged periods of time. Notable fact: he can drink Arthur under the table, but his father (Arthur’s grandfather) would call them both weak guts. Mother’s Status + Relationship : Queen Atlanna, deceased.  Sibling Status + Relationship : Orm, half - brother. Pain in the tattooed butt. Tula, step - sister. Favorite non - biological sibling.   Loyalty / Affiliation : Atlantis.

PERSONALITY.

MBTI : ENFJ Hobbies : Whittling. When alone he tends to need something in his hands that’ll occupy his time, that turned into wood / bone work. He’s an avid connoisseur of good stouts.   Bad Habits : A picky eater.  Three Positive Traits : Arthur is first and foremost a humbled person. He understands where he lacks expertise and can admit to faults of his rather effortlessly. It’s been criticized ( specifically by Orm ) in the past as ‘ showing weakness ’ but he disagrees fullheartedly. To claim you know everything about everything is foolish and irresponsible, so he relies heavily on the council of those close to him  or experts ) to help bridge the gaps in his understanding. And it’s perhaps why, more often than not, he feels in over his head and incapable of ruling / seduced by the simpler times.  Another trait that stands heads above the rest ----- Arthur is KIND. One could theorize that it was his mixed heritage ( growing up severely bullied as a result of being ... alive ) to push him into a softer approach when hardships hit, but ultimately he was always this way. Looks are deceiving, and it’s certainly true he will not allow others to test his threshold, but if there’s any choice present : he chooses to be kind.  Dad jokes are his jam. He may not be a pro at this ‘hero bantering’ thing, but he’s great at belly - laughing at his own dumb humor. 

Three Negative Traits : He only has a set scale of annoyances he can tolerate before seeing red. That scale varies by contributing factors throughout the day. I had this under a form of introversion, because he absolutely gets his energy in solitude and tires out in social situations, but a tricky sub genre of the personality type. Introversion on its own is NOT a negative trait, his can make him abrasive, rude, and standoffish unexpectedly. Arthur can be rather impulsive at times. He doesn’t always think his actions through, just battering rams it and hopes for the best. It gets on Mera’s nerves, he finds inaction oftentimes more dangerous.  The dad jokes ------- Moral Alignment : Neutral Good.

ASSOCIATIONS.

One Song :  Atlantis - Bridgit Mendler  One Quote / Piece of Art : This vine / Ships in the Stormy Sea One Fear : Losing his humanity. One Strength : Empathy. One Object : Trident of Neptune.  One Place : Neptune’s Grotto.  One Food : Coconut. One Scent : Saltwater.  One Lucky Charm : Ka Makau Nui ‘o Maui cattle bone necklace his father carved him 

[darkspellmaster]

Sailor Senshi x Shitennou Romantic Essay - Sailor Mercury and Zoisite

(Again a warning. Due to the way Tumblr works on the phone, this post is long and if you’re reading on a phone there is no read more button. Sorry in advance.) 

So after thinking about it for a while I figured it would be better to start off with the pairing I think is actually the most interesting because it seems to be the most quiet in terms of their personalities, that being Ami Mizuno and Zoisite.

This, oddly enough, is my favorite pairing, and it’s not your traditional romantic couple by a long shot. Ami has always been the quietest of the girls, and second only to Rei when it comes to not being able to deal with boys. Unlike Usagi, Minako and Makoto, Ami is the one of the group that seems less incline to be busy with a romance. This is not to say she’s against it, and it’s been clear in various versions of the show that she wouldn’t mind having a husband and getting married. But part of her goal is to become a doctor, so romance isn’t as strong an idea for her versus the other three, minus Rei.

On the other side of things you have Zoisite who a lot of people thinks would be flirty, however, there’s enough in the materials collection and the recent series, as well as the manga, to have me thinking that flirting is low on his spectrum of interests. That’s not to say that he can’t or won’t flirt, it’s just that it would be very different. We don’t get a lot of Zoisite outside of his brainwashed state, but when we do it’s interesting. He’s very quiet, staying close to Kunzite, and is the second one to get angry when they reveal what’s going on with them. When it comes to seeing Mamoru as the Prince later, he clearly shows that he’s able to smile, though softer than the other three. On top of this when it comes to personality, according to the Materials media, is the youngest and is treated as Kunzite’s younger brother. So this would play a lot on the idea of him as being both the cutie of the group, as well as the brat.

Which brings us to the first point: Characteristics and personalities of the two.

Ami:

When it comes to personality Ami is sweet but never really made friends that easily. Straight up in the episode we first meet her we hear kids commenting on her “weirdness” for being very smart and preferring to read books and study over other things. Because of the fact that she has a bit of a quieter withdrawn sort of nature to herself, she’s often times seen as arrogant and aloof and it took Usagi approaching her with Luna to give others the impression that she’s friendly if quiet. Her intellect is through the roof, and she’s seen as the smartest in her group, with people thinking that she had an IQ of 300.

Naturally her calm nature makes her the most level headed of the five, and it drives her love of math and science, propelling her to want to be a doctor like her mother. Among the group she’s the group of reason, and was able to actually get the older outer senshi to not kill Hotaru with her reasoned explanation of why it would be bad to do so. Ami, because of her smarts, also is the planer of the group, and analyzes situations, items, etc. for them as she has a knack for it, and doesn’t mind. This leads her into trouble, as with the disk incident with Zoisite in Crystal.

It’s her kindness that shines the brightest, as she’s a gentle person who doesn’t like to quarrel with others and abhors the harming of those that are innocent. Her loyalty is unmatched when it comes to Sailor Moon and she would sacrifice herself to save the others if necessary. If she does have, a flaw that the others can point to easily, it’s that she needs to “loosen Up” more. Emotionally though there’s a reason why she pushes herself so much. Her relationship with her mother, the person she looks up to and respects the most, is distant. Her parents at some earlier point in her life divorced, and her Father –a painter –has not seen his daughter in a long while, sending only birthday cards with well wishes every year. Her mother is always busy, making it harder for Ami to grow close to her mother at all.

One thing of note about Ami is that, while she’s very busy with studying and her job as a scout, she’s also an excellent swimmer –which probably has an attachment to the water element in her, and she also excels at playing Chess, as well as listening to music.

As for Zoisite:

When it comes to personality Zoisite is a kind person but comes off as a bit aloof and cold. This isn’t to say that he’s not a good person, but rather, unlike the others less likely to make a shallow friendship with someone. That comes down to a few things I believe. For starters he’s seen as effeminate, probably an overly refined person who can come off as someone extremely polite and courteous to others. He has a lot of delicate features and looks and probably comes off with a quiet thinking softness to him that makes a lot of people underestimate him.

We know that he’s curious by nature, as the first time we meet him he’s pondering what the crystal really is, and given what we saw later with him, we know he’s the sort to think things through before enacting a plan, until he’s frustrated to the point where he just reacts and makes large mistakes in the process. Zoisite is the most level headed of the Shintennou and also probably the most sensitive of the group. When, in the manga, both of his friends died, Zoisite became emotional to the point of seeking revenge upon Rei herself for the death of Jadeite, and later on Sailor Moon for the death of Nephrite. He’s a deeply caring person who probably doesn’t outwardly show it a lot to other people.

We know that he tends to act mature, but also is very immature too. Being the youngest member of the team he’s more then likely treated as the charming one and one that a lot of people want to protect. Zoisite more then likely uses that to his advantage, being charming and then manipulating the situation to best serve what he needs it too. I also get the impression that he dislikes being underestimated, and looked down upon, and probably has some deep seeded issues with his physical appearance. Due to this he tends to come off as a smart ass, even if he is the most intelligent of the group and probably uses his words to wound people more than using his sword. He hides a lot from others but when he does show his affection, it’s very strong.

When it comes to loyalty, he’s probably only matched by Kuznite, who is seen as an elder brother figure for him and probably one he emulates in how he comes off. No doubt that to the Prince he was probably the one that was the most willing to give his life directly due to the fact that Endymion possibly saw past his appearance to the strong, kind, and pure person that Zoisite was under all his coolness. It’s also clear that Zoisite is very clever and willing to be underhanded when it comes to getting a job done, and would rather end things quickly then prolong a fight just to be seen as noble or something like that. The faster something is done, the quicker things can be healed and mended.

He also is someone that adapts to things very quickly and doesn’t like to lose, he more than likely enjoys trying to one up someone in wits and possibly in who is smarter at times. He also get’s frustrated and distant when angry until he’s annoyed to the point where he emotionally reacts to something like a kid would and then becomes embarrassed by it.

For Zoisite, reading and probably learning about things would be a hobby of sorts, and possibly creating tech for the team would be another.

So connections between them….

As far as Mercury and Zoisite of the past there does seem to be hints of how these two would work as a couple in the Silver Millennium.

We know that both are extremely loyal to their leaders, that being the Princess and the Prince, and no doubt both would find a common ground in that idea. They are also intellectuals that seem to prefer dealing damage at a distance, and also are underestimated due to both their physical appearance and their natural quiet nature.

I have no doubt that like Mercury, Zoisite probably was seen as the most introverted of the group. The weak link in the chain due mostly to his physical appearance. He can easily be seen as a woman, and possibly, because of his refine polite skills, he was talked about as the lesser of the Knights. Throw in that he also probably was seen as short and young and given the more aggressive personality of Nephrite, may have felt that he had to be cool and aloof in order for people to stop treating him as a child, and may have enventually learned to use that to his advantage.

That same feeling of being seen as the weaker one probably created a strong understanding between them, and probably lead to them becoming friendly with one another. Yet another aspect is the fact that both Mercury and Zoisite seem to share a kindness to them that quiet and unlike the others, this has to be drawn out by more extroverted people.

Zoisite’s head shots tell a lot of his story, and given that he doesn’t strike me as someone that easily could let himself fall in love, it’s not very hard to see that when he fell for Mercury it was probably very hard and he didn’t realize it until he did and then it was a lock on him. From the way he holds her in the picture to the look that he gives her in the fight, it’s clear that, at least from his end, he’s a bit more possessive of her. Not that he wouldn’t give her space and become a stalker like figure, more that he would want to be by her side and keep her shielded from attacks and harm.

Another thing that I think both would probably have made a connection on was the fact that both seem to be the planners for the group and the smart one on the team. This could lead to them discussing things with each other that would have the others completely lost on for whatever reason. I also have the odd idea, in the back of my mind, given that Zoisite is a technopath and seems to have a lot of skill with different forms of technology, it wouldn’t surprise me at all to think that either he made the goggles and the head set for Mercury to use. Or helped her in developing them at some point in time to give the girls an advantage in finding the princess when she went missing or other issues that came about.

As for Ami and Zoisite, there’s a lot more to go with there when (not if) the Shitennou come back.

We know that Ami is a kind hearted person who’s intelligence can bring out the best in other people. Her nature of caring and finding out the truth to things and being willing to put herself on the line would be someone that Zoisite would find very interesting and also someone that he would want to challenge in the friendly sense to see who’s smarter.

The two both have issues with making friends or finding companionship and knowing Ami, seeing how Usagi helped pull her out of her shell, she would want to extend the same thing for Zoisite. It would give him a moment of someone actually wanting to see past his looks and realize that he’s actually a lot stronger than he first appears. I could also see her realizing before the others that the aloofness is more of an act and not part of his real personality, more that it’s a cover to hide a sensitive side that he worries others will exploit.

The two would probably be a match on the study side of things, and, seeing how Zosite would be 16 to 17 years old, he’d probably be one of Ami’s rivals when it came to testing scores. Not only that, but again, pointing to his use of technology for his plans, one can then speculate that probably Zoisite would have an interest in the sciences. Given that he’s the Knight of Healing, it’s not that huge a leap of logic to assume that he, like Ami, may want to go into the medical field, or possibly something where he could use his logic and insight to excel at helping others. Both are the voice of reason for logic, and Zoisite would more or less be able to help her find information that could allow her to gain a better understanding of her own personal ideas.

Throw in there that Zoisite more or less would be the one that would have the skills to be a charmer, and it’s not hard to see him using that on her to get her to step away from the studying, even if he himself may understand why she is pushing herself so hard, and to have some fun. He’d also be able help her find some way of getting a better connection to both her parents, as healing doesn’t just refer to a physical condition, it could be a mental or emotional one as well.

Zoisite would be impressed with her use of words to deal with a situation. Even if he’s not the peacekeeper of the group, he’s probably the one that is able to use his words to get people to do what he wants. So seeing her use them to defuse a situation, or get others to back up from a fight would be something that he would find heavily attractive in a person, I would think. I also feel that their loyalty again would be the start of common ground as she’s friends with Mamoru and he would see the compassion and trust that she has in the young Prince, something that he sees in him too.

One thing I think for sure that could unite them is their love of books, and Zoisite would more than likely enjoy playing chess with her. I have no doubt that he’d be in the stands cheering for her on the swim team and they probably would both enjoy sitting around listening to music.

I’m also going to throw in there that Zosite is probably the sort of person who, when he sees someone he loves across the room being asked out by someone else, he’d probably send that person running with a glare. Then act as if the person had some weird reason to leave.

So what does Ami see in Zoisite?

Ami would see the compassion and deep kindness behind the aloof exterior. She would easily see someone that she could talk to about family issues and a person that could understand those things. She would be attracted by his more refined nature and probably by his intellect. A battle of wits could be part of it, along with enjoying the fact that Zoisite is someone who would be flattered or embarrassed by her way of nonphysical flirting.

Ami’s the type of person who would also feel for him, being an only child, and also understand how it feels to be seen as the weak link in the group. She would try to help him overcome his own issues of doubt in himself that he probably tends to cover up and work with him to find a way to show his strength in a more positive light. She’d also be the one, along with Usagi, to pull him out of his shell and get him to loosen up more and be more willing to have fun.

Given the smile on her face in the main picture I have no doubt that she feels happy when she’s with him and his warmth comes through for her. Zosite’s charming nature and general politeness would also win her over and she might find him a bit on the dangerous side given his ability to manipulate others to do what he wants. At the same time, she’d also respect that he mostly does that for the sake of making thing end quickly so that peace can come back to them.

Romantically speaking she would be drawn to him based on his intelligence and quiet nature, and she’d stay around for his kindness and actual willingness to understand others and way of trying to help others heal or fix what’s the matter with them to the best of his ability.

So what does Zosite see in Ami?

Other than her soft beauty he’d be taken in by her kindness and warm nature. He’d also become quickly attracted to how strong she is, even though her attacks can be seen as weak. He’d also be interested in her intelligence, and how smart she actually is, and find her shy nature very much a cute aspect of her, even if he doesn’t say it that much.

For him, love would be something that again, he would not see coming and when it hit him, he wouldn’t let her go, not for an instant. He’d find in her someone that he could talk about not only things that interested him, but also someone who didn’t judge him for his looks and appearance. The fact that others saw her as aloof would be something that would surprise him and also make him protective of her against other words of harm that could be bestowed upon her. He’d probably want to help her deal with her parents in some way, and listen to her when she was upset over things.

Zoisite would see her as a friendly rival, always trying in some way to challenge her perception of things and make her think outside the box, and come up with new plans to deal with things. He’d teach her to think on her feet and be able to observe and realize what’s going on and to multitask in a situation. Also I have a feeling he’d work with her to find a  way to pair up their powers to make them a hard duo to beat on the field. (Snow and Crystal shard attack?)

He’d also fall for her due to her view of quarrels and the harming of the innocent, something I think he agrees with as the Knight of healing. I can also see him trying to teach her how to use her quietness to become more observant and also how to use her calmness to get others to listen to what she has to say for a larger group of people.

On top of all that her determination to become a doctor, and her desire to help the scouts, even when things are harder for her, would make him want to be with her even more. I also think that her loyalty would be something that he would see as a start to common ground for them.

Romantically speaking he would be drawn to her quiet nature, but also her kindness and beauty. He’d see someone he would want to protect but also someone who was an equal match on the intelligence and cleaver factor. He’d stay around because of her honesty and determination, as well as the fact that he could tease her and she wouldn’t judge him harshly for his actions, choices, or the fact that he can be a bit of a smart ass and a flirt around her.

So how would these two have met in the past and how would they meet in the present.

(*seeking out the artist so I can credit for this image)

For the past, I assumed that the girls probably split up to find the princess. Knowing Mercury she possibly went to search for the princess where she would think Serenity would likely go to, such as a meadow or somewhere where she could feel the open air and the like. More than likely, while she was searching, she came upon Zoisite reading or observing something, or vice versa. Zoisite is not one to beat around the bush about situations, so he probably came up to her, and politely, but seriously, asked her who she was and what she was doing on earth.

Mercury most likely introduced herself to him, and he did so to her, and told her that the moon people weren’t supposed to be there. I’m pretty sure the two had a short chat over what her reason for being there was, and he agreed to escort her around to find the princess, and probably explained that they were having similar issues with the prince and that once they found them, she and the princess could leave.

However the two, wind up finding more in common during this early time and become friendly with one another, eventually prompting Mercury to agree with the Princess about going back down again, and meeting with the Knights to become friends and learn more about the world that they’re protecting from above. This would lead Mercury to ask Zoisite about what he could tell her about earth and he’d probably bring her books upon books to study about the planet, it’s history and it’s people. During this time, the two would fall for one another, and Zoisite probably came up with the idea of meeting the girls under the tree as a means of being the spot where the four could come together.

(*seeking out the artist so I can credit for this image) 

 As for the present, my guess would be that Zoisite, as with the other knights, would have been in Japan for whatever reason. Given his looks, I would think that he may be half-European half Japanese and more than likely the prince of his school, or possibly bullied for his looks. Given he’s a year younger or the same age as Mamoru he would probably have the same sort of schedule as Ami heading to school. No doubt, the two probably would be rivals for the top spot in testing, and he probably sees her as a challenge.

If anything, I think the two would more than likely meet at first as rivals, with Zoisite informing her that he’ll take her top spot, and this leads to a friendly competition between them. If anything, he would probably and eventually, like the girls, regain his memories when he met Mamoru and because of his kindness and seeing the kind hearted person inside whomever Zoisite was. Of course, he would be helping his Prince with whatever issues that he may have and end up assisting the girls as they dealt with enemies.

During this time, he and Ami would probably forge a friendship more than a romance as he would point out that they are not the same people that they were in the past and that they need to come to terms with who they are now and not who they were then. Eventually, however, Zoisite would probably be the first to realize his feelings for her and, with the blessing of his Prince, decide to move on it. Again, both are shier introverted individuals, so they wouldn’t have a huge passionate confession or anything like that. Being the nerds they are, it would probably be a slow burning but strong dating thing, taking things one-step at a time till finally they could actually come to a mutual agreement that they were in love with one another and proceed from there.

(seeking out credit for the artist) 

As for their future? Not really sure on that one. Zoisite strikes me as someone who could potentially do all sorts of things for a living. I could see him going into medicine, but also someone who could easily peruse the arts in a more logical kind of way. It’s hard to point out what he would do, Ami on the other hand we know would become a doctor like her father, and Zoisite would support her as she strove to do that as she would support him in whatever his endeavor would be.

Whatever the case may be for the two on a professional level, I feel like romantically they would be the most likely to have the the deepest connection in regard to a mental thing going on. Probably not very showy when it comes to public displays of affection, but more then likely very affectionate and sweet when alone and in public small things go a long way for them. No doubt they would be the pairing that would make each other smile the most on inside jokes that the others didn’t get. 

So the next one up would be Makoto and Nephrite. Hoping to get on that next week.