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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years ago

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Baby, It’s Cold...

Warnings: this fic includes dubious/nonconsent, fingering, lying, manipulation, and general Ransom naughtiness

This is explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: You go to meet your online admirer but not all is as it seems.

Note: Our Chris-mas fic is here! I tried to keep the holiday details as vague as possible and hope you all enjoy what I came up with. As a reminder, y’all chose Ransom Drysdale + Sugar Daddy + Silverfox (= yes please)

I hope y’all enjoy!

Let me know what you think! (Like, reblog, reply, leave some words, a gif, nonsensical emojis)

Your nerves wouldn't stop. It was the tap of your fingers, the urge to chew your thumb, and the way you shifted in your seat just when you got settled. The flight was long enough to calm down and definitely not long enough to prepare yourself.

You scrolled through your phone, offline for the journey. You swiped through the photos saved in your gallery. Hugh had paid for the ticket. A gift for the holidays he said; his gift, he added, was you. It was cheesy but it made you smile. He always had a way of surprising you. One moment, he was stern and demanding, the next he was flirty and fun, and sometimes, he could be sappy. He was different than any man you’d met; well you hadn’t exactly met yet.

It had started on your Insta. You liked to post pictures of pretty things; flowers, birds, critters, and the odd monument. Sometimes, even, yourself. He messaged you about some photo of a vintage book. It was random and awkward. You weren’t quite sure how you managed to bring the quality to text but you did always find a way.

But it continued and you got to know him. He knew a lot about books; he said he worked in publishing. As a photography student, you weren’t as impressive. You assumed he was older; a few years, he said. Well, that wasn’t so bad. He also suggested you keep some prints; it could make for a good coffee table book. You liked hat he humoured you but you were like any other arts major; you were waiting for your green apron.

As they announced the landing over the speaker, you buckled in. You played with the locked buckle. You had lied to your mother. You told her you were staying on campus for the winter break. What would do if she knew if you were meeting a stranger? Huh, you were meeting a stranger and you had kept it all a secret. Your romcom had just become a horror in your mind.

Well, you had the app on the phone. The one that would send your location if you didn’t log in within the next eight hours. But it could be too late by then. Shit, this was stupid. So stupid. You could hide and tell him you missed your flight. Well, fuck, you’d texted him just before boarding.

As the plane descended you went through every worst case scenario; catfish, liar, murderer… Hugh was hot as fuck and you had to admit, a rich guy with eyes like his, was way out of your league. You bit your lip as you looked at the pic of him at the beach; was it the abs that made you so dumb or the smirk?

The large wheels rolled over the tarmac as the pilot steered past the other planes and into position. You waited as disembarkment began and the attendants reminded passengers to remain seated until told otherwise. You felt the wine in your stomach swish. Hugh had paid for first class; you had enjoyed the complimentary drinks a little too much. The first had been for courage, the second for foolishness.

Finally, it was time to get up. Time to face your naivety. Why did these things seem like a good idea until the last minute? Rather, why did you think they were? This was like that blind date in your freshman year that turned out to be a prank by your roommates. Sophomore year saw you relocated.

What if the same was going through Hugh’s head? What if he was disappointed? It was easy to seem cooler than you were behind a screen. It wasn’t exactly like you broadcasted the fact that you spent all your time in the library or the fact that your study group was the majority of your socialization. Well, maybe you’d both be let down and you could laugh about it together.

You grabbed your carry-on and followed the rest of the passengers down the ramp and into the tunnel. You felt like you were in a movie or a dream. It was surreal. Had you really flown all this way to meet this online pal?

As you reached the escalators, you turned your phone off of airplane mode. There was a message waiting for you. ‘At the gate.’ It was all too real as you sent back an emoji and neared the belt to grab your bag. You extended the arm and rolled it behind you as you headed for the last barrier. You were waved through customs and met another set of escalators. You bounced your leg as you descended.

You got to the bottom and walked around as you searched those waiting around the gate. Blonde hair, you couldn’t miss it. Blue eyes, tall, broad shoulders… he was the type to stand out in the crowd.

“Hey,” you felt a large hand on your back and another on the handle of your bag. “Right here.”

The deep voice was the same from your phone calls. You smiled and looked over as he took your bag entirely and wrapped his arm around you.

“I can’t believe you’re finally here.” You turned to him and his hand rested on your hip as he faced you.

The air went out of you and your lips parted. You blinked and sputtered. “H- Hi.”

“You okay? How was the flight?” He asked.

You were in shock. Your entire body jittered and your breath was trapped in your chest. It was Hugh but he was about twenty years older than his photos. Most of his hair was silver, with only a few strands of blonde, and though he hadn’t aged poorly, the difference was stark. Handsome as he still was, he had lied.

“It was… fine.” You forced out. “I…” You shook your head and pouted as your thoughts raced, “Hugh, you’re… older than I expected.”

“Call me Ransom. Everybody does.” He leaned it, “Why don’t we talk about this in the car?”

You looked around. You couldn’t really just turn around and go home, could you? You lowered your chin and sucked in your lip as you thought. What else had he lied about?

“Sure,” you said thinly. “I…”

“Babe, it’s me,” he coaxed, “I’m exactly who I said I was. And you, you’re even more gorgeous in person.”

You glanced at him and nodded. You hooked your shoulder bag over your arm and he grabbed your hand as he pulled you with him. The wheels of your suitcase rolled loudly behind him as the buzz of the crowd drowned out your panicked mind. You let him guide you, in disbelief. You didn’t know what else to do.

You were outside as the haze cleared. You approached a car, sleek and sporty, though you were never good with types. Hugh, or Ransom, opened the trunk and dropped your bag inside. He went to the driver’s side and opened the door as you stared across at him. You mirrored him and lowered yourself into the passenger’s seat. The doors closed almost in unison and you stared through the windshield at the unfamiliar parking lot.

He cleared his throat and turned the engine. You snapped your belt into place as he shifted into gear. You flinched and crossed your arms. You peeked at him in the rearview and his hand crawled onto your thigh. His eyes met yours in the mirror and he smirked. You were paralysed as he steered with one hand and his fingers tapped against your jeans.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he said, “Or… happy holidays. Whatever’s politically correct.”

He laughed and you only managed to choke on your spit. You felt like you should be mad but did you have any right to be? He hadn’t exactly catfished you. Not completely. And he had paid for your ticket and from what you could tell, he was just as rich as he claimed. Yet, that wasn’t exactly why you’d come. Sure, it was all just in good fun, you didn’t expect a whirlwind romance, but it was still jarring.

“Why don’t you just relax?” he purred, “I know it wasn’t too long a flight but flying always takes it outta me. And you’ll need your energy. I have lots of surprises in store for you.”

You nodded and leaned against the door. You hugged yourself and lifted your leg over the other and Ransom’s hand slipped away. He seemed unbothered as he sat back in his seat and turned his attention to the road.

The radio flicked on and filled the tense silence. You clung to the unknown lyrics to keep from drowning in fear.

🎁

Despite your doubts, you couldn’t help but be astounded by Ransom’s house. Almost four years in a dormitory and the Holiday Inn was like a palace to you, but his place was even more than that. A modern façade with a blanket of store across the sprawling yards which seemed to have been perfectly laid to match the straight lines of the structure.

You stayed in the car as Ransom climbed out and took your bag from the trunk. You jumped in your seat as he tapped on the window with his knuckle. You looked over at him and undid your belt. You got out, your bag dangling from your wrist, and he touched the small of your back again as he led you forward.

“We’ll have dinner and then you can open your gifts,” he said, “That’s when the fun will start.”

“Mmhmm,” you hummed as he unlocked the door with a code and ushered you in.

You watched him hang his jacket and reluctantly unzipped your own. You put your bag down but kept a hold of your phone.

“You’re nervous,” he intoned.

“Why did you send me those pics and not something more recent? You lied.” You said.

His mouth slanted and he raised his brows. “They were me. Not much of a lie.”

“Enough of one, don’t you think?”

He chuckled. “I think you at least owe me a little leeway. Considering.”

“Considering what? You offered to pay. Don’t hold that over me.”

“I’m not but… you’re young, you’re impulsive. I mean, you came all the way here and now what? You’re going to tuck tail and run home? Spend the last of that bursary money so you can hide?”

“Don’t patronize me,” you huffed as you stepped out of your boots.

“I’m not.” He said firmly. “I’m giving you advice and it’s hard to see when you’re young but we both know you’re smarter than your age. We both know what this is and me being older isn’t going to affect that.” His eyes roved over you, “Is it?”

You lowered your lashes and thought. You wetted your lips and looked down at your phone. You unlocked it and opened the app. You keyed in your password and turned off the alert. You’d come this far and you were fairly certain he wouldn’t murder you. Besides, your mother would kill you once she found out you’d come all this way.

“It’s just gonna take me a bit to get used to it,” you tucked your phone away, “But promise me, that’s it. The only lie.”

“Promise,” he said gently, “Now, dinner should be here soon so why don’t you get changed.”

“Changed?” You snorted, “What--”

“Up the stairs, the room at the end of the hall, there’s a red box on the bed. It should fit. If it doesn’t, I’m sure it’ll still look great on you.”

You smiled as your cheeks burned. He was older but he still had charm and had aged into his looks and not out of them.

“Alright,” you said, “I… what’s for dinner?”

“Another surprise,” he replied as he neared and leaned in, “I’m more excited about dessert.” His breath tickled your cheek, his lips too, and you shivered. “Now go, we’ve both waited long enough for this.”

You drew away and turned to head up the stairs. He tapped your ass and you squeaked. You looked back over his shoulder and he winked. “Can’t help myself,” he raised his hands, “But I’ll try.”

You continued up the stairs and tried not to gape at what had to be expensive art. The furniture was no less extravagant and as you entered the room at the end of the hall, you closed the door and pulled out your phone. You typed in Ransom instead of Hugh Drysdale and pages of results popped up. Editor, Publisher, and Owner of Blood Like Wine Publishing. Jesus Christ, were you really that daft?

Well, he was famous enough to reassure you he wasn’t going to kill you. You tossed your phone on the bed beside the box and carefully untied the black ribbon around it. You shimmied the lid off and revealed the red velvet. You lifted it up, a short little piece trimmed with white fur. It was the most ridiculous thing you’d ever seen but scandalous nevertheless.

You stripped as your nerves only got worse. You slipped into the dress, it was tight around your chest and the short skirt had a slit along the thigh. You wanted to laugh at yourself. There was a pair of heels at the foot of the bed and you sat to slip on the stilettos. You stood and wobbled. You felt so dumb but a glance in the mirrored door of the closet gave you pause. Not bad.

You slowly made your way down the stairs. You held tight to the railing and as you came to the bottom, you looked around at the airy halls. You wandered into the next room and back to the kitchen. You stopped in the doorway as Ransom looked up from the counter. He carefully plated the food from the containers surrounded by paper bags. Expensive, boujie take out.

“The other way,” he smiled, “Past the stairs. I’ll be in shortly.”

“Oh, okay,” you spun and caught yourself on the wall.

You found your way to the room across the hall. There was an artificial fireplace in the wall burning and a low table with two cushions planted deliberately on the floor. There was a bucket with ice and champagne in it and two glasses waiting. You crossed to it and touched the petals of the stemmed roses in the tall crystal vase.

You turned as you heard footsteps. Ransom entered with two plates. He passed you and set them down on the low table. He spun back to you and took in every inch of you. “Wow, you look… great.”

“Thank you,” you shied away and he caught your hands. He pulled you close as the candlelight gleamed along his silver hair.

“Come here,” his hand grazed your arm and he caught your chin, “Amazing.”

He brushed his lips against yours and pressed them more firmly. You let him as you heart hammered and he pulled away as he nibbled your bottom lip.

“Let’s eat,” he breathed. “Before it gets cold.”

You followed him to the table and sat on the cushion. It was difficult as your skirt rode up and you bent your legs beside you awkwardly as Ransom popped the cork. He poured the wine and you sipped at the foam. You could still feel the glow of the grigio you’d downed on the plane.

“So, did you bring your camera? Tomorrow we might go out and you can get some photos. It’s beautiful in the winter. Cold but makes warming up all the better.”

“Yeah…” You took a bite of the salad. “So, why didn’t you tell me who you were? If your age doesn’t matter, then--”

“You didn’t ask me for money. Not even when I mentioned it. Most women, I tell them who I am, they google me, and they do a poor job of tiptoeing around my checkbook.” He shrugged. “And I like you. I wanted to get to know you without everything else.”

“Get to know me?” You scoffed. “That’s what you call it?”

“My intentions were innocent. At first. I thought your pictures might make a good book and then I found one of you. Business isn’t everything.”

“Oh,” you fluttered your lashes, “It’s not?”

His hand snaked over to your thigh and he squeezed. He played with the fur along your skirt.

“I have enough money.” He said, “What I want isn’t so simple.”

🎁

You finished dinner and washed it down with the champagne as Ransom cleared the plates. As came back, you sat on your knees and watched him cross the room. There was a table stacked with presents in the corner. You only just noticed it as he looked it over and picked out one wrapped in gold paper.

He neared and held it out to you. You took it and ran your finger over the edge. “Your gift is in my bag,” you tried to stand and he waved you off.

“Later,” he said, “Open it.”

You slid your finger under a fold and tore. You slowly unwrapped the box; black and shiny. You crumpled the paper and dropped it on the table. You wiggled the lid off a revealed a pair of black furry cuffs. You giggled.

“Thanks,” you looked up at him.

“Stand up,” he said.

“W-Why?” You tilted your head.

“You gotta try them on,” he grinned, “Come on. Just a little bit of fun.”

“I don’t know, I never--”

“I know you didn’t come here just for steak so come on, get up.” He demanded, “And turn around.”

You bit down as you stared up at him. You wanted to laugh but the lines in his forehead warned you he was serious. He bent and took the cuffs from you and set the box aside. You stood, numb and shaky. You didn’t believe it. He wasn’t going to--

He spun you around and swept your arms behind you. You tried to pull away as he caught your left wrist in a cuff and quickly hooked the other. They closed tight around your wrists and he tugged on the link as if to test them.

You stared at the artificial flames licking at the glass. He cupped your ass and dragged his hands around to grip your hips.

“They look nice,” he purred, “Oh, baby.”

He bent and nuzzled your neck as he brought his arms around you and kneaded your tits. He pushed them up as he nibbled at your skin.

“These… are perfect,” he kissed you and teased your flesh with his teeth. “Fuck.”

He pulled down the top of your dress and bared your chest. You wriggled and he hugged your waist he kept you close.

“What are you doing, baby? Where are you going to go?” He tweaked your nipple, “Dressed like a little slut.”

“Hey,” you gasped and he retracted his hand to smack your ass.

He hushed you as his fingers crept down your thigh and he rolled up your skirt an inch at a time. “What are these?” He snapped your panties, “You don’t need those.” He pulled them below your ass and they fell to your ankles. “Let me show you what an old man does better than any kid.”

He reached around you and tickled your pelvis. He raised his head and inhaled the scent of your scalp as his hot breath glossed over your head.

“Don’t be shy now… or would you feel better with a camera?” He taunted. “Hmmm?”

“Hu--Ransom,” you uttered.

“Come on,” he forced his hand between your legs and flicked between your folds. “What did you think this was? How long did you think I’d wait?”

“No, but--” You gasped as he toyed with your clit, “Ransom.”

“Say it again,” he swirled his fingers.

You gulped and moaned as he rubbed harder. Your legs quaked around his hand as he slid his fingers further back. You felt your arousal slicken as he spread it over your cunt and poked around your entrance. He slid a finger inside of you as he wiggled his crotch against your hands.

“Is this what you came for? Or did you want all of me?” He pushed another finger in. “You want me inside you, baby? Stretching you?”

You groaned as he curled his fingers and pressed the hell of his hand to your clit. He rocked his hand and cried out. Your legs cramped as your feet curled in the high stilettos.

“It doesn’t really matter what you came for,” he pushed on your shoulder until you bent forward. He caught the middle of the cuffs and held you like that. “I’m gonna get what I want.”

You closed your eyes and whined as he pulled his fingers out of you. You quivered and he spanked you before he withdrew his hand entirely. You felt him fumbling behind you as you shook your head. As you had been since you met him, you were off-balance. You couldn’t decide if what he wanted was what you wanted too.

You felt a prod along your ass. He brushed his tip down your cheek and poked between your legs. He wetted himself on your folds and pushed along your entrance. Slowly, he slid into you, grunting as he sank past his tip. Deeper and deeper until you threw your head up and moaned. He filled you completely; painfully and delightfully.

“Yeah, you want me.” He hissed as he thrust and jerked your body. “You want to be mine, don’t you?”

You hummed as he moved against you, your shoulders straining as he tugged on the cuffs.

“Say it. Say you want to be mine.”

“Ah,” you moaned, “I want-- to-- I-- I’m yours.”

“You’re mine, baby,” he snarled, “All mine. Aren’t you?”

“Y-y-yes,” your eyes rolled back as he sped up.

He rammed into you so hard your legs buckled. He growled and followed you down. He bent you over the table as swept the bucket and vase out of the way. He got to his knees as he pinned you over the top and crushed your hips against the edge. Your cheek was hot against the cool table as he jolted you.

“Mine,” he grunted, “Baby, all mine…”

He rutted into you as his voice mingled with yours. You whimpered as your legs tingled and your core bloomed. You let out a feral whine as you came, convulsing beneath him as he gripped the table above your shoulder.

“You want me.” He rasped, “You want me to cum in you.”

“I-I-I…” You twisted your hands as you struggled to think; struggled to do more than murmur wildly.

“Fuck.” He swore and you felt him burst.

He slowed as he slapped the table and when he stilled, he held himself over you and his breath sent a shudder through you. He sat back on his knees and slid out of you. His cum spilled down your thigh and you slumped down against him. He pinched the velvet bunched around our waist.

“You got more gifts to open, baby,” he slapped your ass as he stood, “You think you can keep up with an old man like me?”

#dark!ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale #dark ransom drysdale #knives out #ransom drysdale x reader #fic #one shot #request #merry chris-mas #seasonal #holiday fic

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paperw0rmz · 2 years ago

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wut's a trend from the 90s/early 2000s u wanna see make a comeback? :0

THANK YOU FOR ASKING

For those who don’t know Hi I’m Grave and I am obsessed with 90’s-2012 things and have archives and logs of media, specifically web, of things from those eras

1:Radio shack

As someone who is getting into ham radio and also just misses being able to get funky little add ons to computers and shit, I think we should all as a collective demand a radio shack. “Oh bUt yOu hAvE bEst bUy” I will literally slit your throat if you are dumb enough to think that that ugly wanna be ikea shit is anything remotely similar to big daddy Radio Shack

2:Chatrooms

Was I way too young to be on them back when they were popular? Yes. Did that result into trauma? Yes. But I’ve learned my lesson and now I want this shit back so bad. I LOVE chat rooms. “YeAh wE hAvE dIscOrd aNd DMS” ITS NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING AND YOU KNOW IT.

Bring back chatzy, bring back IRC (I’m active on a few), I’m even on Wireclub if anyone wants to join my chat rooms there!!! And pesterchum

3: physical copies of media

I hate streaming services. I hate it. There is nothing but zombie glossy eyed, let’s market to the brain dead, shit on there. Like yes, I love some of the shows, but we have lost so much shit from moving to streaming services. Remember on a VHS or DVD where you could watch behind the scenes, bloopers, play movie/show related games all on a tape/disk???? It’s the same with any physical music media too. I think it makes you more so focused on what entertainment you actually like. Too many people just like things because it’s popular or trending, which is fine, but when it comes down to it do you actively want to OWN something physical from the media? If not then is it something you’re willing to put time into then? Why not do something else?

4:Arcades

I’m not talking about that Dave and buster shit. I’m talking not scam (at least not as bad as it is now) arcades that was on every Main Street, in every mall, like in a mall now of days is a small as shit arcade if it’s NOT Dave and busters. I hate Dave and busters mainly bc they ruined a genre. It was marketed as a arcade for adults but then they added kid I pad games and now it’s just an awkward overpriced place to be where you can see a seven year old play cross road or angry birds on a glorified I pad and also see grown men get shit faced drunk.

5:MAGAZINES

Literally so hard to find good magazines now of days. Especially for a cost that won’t fucking kill you. I managed to get most of mine second hand, but it’s so hard to find anyplace that sells magazines especially ones that are to kids without being too babyish. I go to a grocery store and if I look for a young girls/boys magazine it’s about very YOUNG things to the point I don’t think the market audience can even read??? That or it’s just guns or gardening. Which is cool, but there isn’t anything for teenagers really anymore. Like yes there are, but you have to sign up online for it which is fine, but I miss being excited to go to the corner store to see if there is any latest addition of the magazine I loved there.

6:social interactions

You would jus stay outside or inside right next to your phone/computer waiting for someone to come by and tell you where everyone else is at. Like having to go walk to every gas station and corner store to see if your friends are there and getting excited when they are actually there. I am thankful for being able to easily like meet up with people, but like the feeling you get when you run into people and then go fuck off is so fun

7:The video games

Video game quality has gone down hill. I’m not talking about highly detailed story based games, no. I’m talking about app games, free to play games, all that shit. It is now a click bait, league clone, or clash clone. And it’s BORING. It’s all ad based and trying to suck as much money from you as possible and it’s all so ugly in that ugly 3D art style.

8:intelligence

*insert the tweet about how if you say you like waffles people will just assume it means you hate pancakes* people today do not have common sense anymore.

9: sense of community

#coquette #grassfromthegardencore #corefromcore

Like yes, back then was also elitist, but not as bad and forced as it is now. So many people today are so focused on aesthetic labels instead of just focusing on what they just like. Like yes, labels are comforting, but to the point you’re desperately asking what aesthetic this is so you can then throw out and change your aesthetic to match it and then repeat over and over? Gross.

10: early web memes

Memes arnt long lasting today as it was back then. There aren’t even memes today. Just a tiktok video that was posted on Twitter. I hate it.

#ask #anon #fun ask #autism #90s #y2k

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luvdsc · 5 years ago

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mark lee sucks at technology.

tap the heart if you have a big, fat, embarrassing crush on your best friend!

pairing :: lee mark x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + social influencer au word count :: 5,883 words warnings :: none playlist :: dumb stuff (lany) ⋆ feeling (coin) ⋆ so far so good (gabrielle aplin) ⋆ electric love (børns) ⋆ love by mistake (bad suns) author’s note :: i was debating if i should post it on his bday instead, but i decided to drop it earlier, so uh, happy (approx. one week early) bday to mister absolutely fully capable (except when it comes to tech stuff) !!!! thank you for blessing us with your god tier raps ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

In your required upper division business course aptly titled “Essential Marketing Strategies,” you had learned about a concept called personal brands. A personal brand is explained as the first impression a person wishes to perceive based on their own experiences, qualifications, and achievements. Your professor had told you and your classmates to pick three words to define your own brand. For instance, you chose to label yourself as charismatic, fun, and creative.

Your best friend’s brand would be awkward, endearing, and technologically challenged.

Okay, so that is definitely more than three words, but who’s counting? You might as well tack on “Y/N’s big fat crush” at this rate because everyone and their mother knows that you carry a torch—or more accurately, a blazing wildfire that can easily be spotted from Pluto—for your best friend.

Well, to be more precise, you should probably say everyone, except Mark, knows. And that’s not for lack of trying either. You completely dropped the art of delicate subtlety months ago already. Maybe you should add “hopelessly oblivious” instead.

The rolling end credits to the sixth Harry Potter film are playing on the screen in front of you, signaling the nearing end of your magical movie marathon. You’re seated on the worn down couch in Mark and Donghyuck’s shared apartment, watching the former make his drink with the fancy, gently used Keurig newly settled on the scratched countertop. Johnny dropped it off a few days ago because he had splurged on a better coffee machine (“It even makes Instagram worthy whipped frappuccinos!”) and didn’t want his old, but still perfectly functioning caffeine provider going to waste.

“What’s wrong with this thing?” Mark slaps the side of the machine, and it starts to emit a low whirring noise. “Oh, that’s good, right? That sound is good, you think?”

His question is immediately answered by the sad squirt of hot water speckled with coffee grinds falling into his mug for a few seconds before the machine shuts off.

“What the hell?” he mutters angrily, carding his hand through his hair in frustration, and you finally decide to take pity on your best friend. Getting up from the comfy spot you know you sadly won’t be able to recreate perfectly again later, you stride over to where your best friend stands and flip open the top of the Keurig.

“Hyuck didn’t take out his used coffee pod,” you say, pulling out the incriminating evidence of your best friend’s roommate and disposing it in the trash can next to the refrigerator. “Where’s the espresso one you’re gonna use? Why didn’t you put that in?”

His jaw slackens, and he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze and mumbling, “I thought I’d just open it later and pour it into my hot water.”

“Mark,” you start, placing your hands on his shoulders firmly and staring into his eyes with a serious look on your face. “Please know that I’m saying this in the most loving way possible, but you are an absolute idiot.”

You release your grip on his shoulders and grab the espresso pod dangling from his fingertips before slotting it into the Keurig. You remove the mug he placed underneath the spout and wash out the accidental coffee water before placing it back in its original position and pressing the start button on the machine. With a sigh, you lean against the side of the counter, glancing at your friend who looks like a child being scolded for stealing from the cookie jar.

“If you pour the pod into your mug, are you just going to chug all the loose coffee grinds, too?”

“... I didn’t think that far ahead.” His lips start to unintentionally form a tiny pout, and your eyes (and your heart, too) soften.

You’re very relieved that Donghyuck is off filming with your friend because he definitely would be making fun of your heart eyes that frequently make an appearance around a certain Mark Lee. Which you always deny. Because you certainly do not have a gigantic crush on your technologically inept best friend.

You glance over at him again and have to physically fight yourself to resist the urge to kiss his cute pout away. Okay, so maybe you harbor a very respectable, medium sized crush. But it's no big deal. It’s completely under control. Unless you’re counting the fact that your best friend is still unaware, and you’re running out of ideas to try and see if he likes you back before you actually shoot your shot. Then it’s very much not under control because you’re losing sleep over it and you don’t know what to do to be any more obvious without stating the, well, obvious.

“Well, now you know. If you forget, you can FaceTime me and I’ll give you instructions on how it works.” You pat his shoulder reassuringly before pausing. “Wait, you do know how to FaceTime, right?”

“Yes!” he exclaims, sulking even more before confessing in a quieter, defeated tone, “Hyuck showed me last month.”

Mark grabs his finished drink and follows behind you, settling back onto the couch next to you. The streaming service already has Deathly Hallows Part 1 in the queue and ready to go, and your best friend is ready to click play until he notices your attention being focused on the smaller screen in your hands. He wonders if you’re about to post another one of your popular cooking videos on that app that shares a name with the most iconic song of the 2000s (hint: the name of the song’s singer is made up of four letters and a dollar sign).

“Are you uploading one of your videos?” he implores before taking a sip of his drink with a satisfied smile. Somehow, it always tastes better when you make it, and he can’t figure out why for the life of him. When he went to Johnny’s place, his older friend uses the exact same pod and water ratio for his espresso, and yet, it’s never as good as yours.

“Nah, I’m ordering my grocery delivery before I forget. Do you want anything?” You select the option to load your usual grocery items into your cart before debating on whether or not you should splurge on buying several packages of those seasonal Pillsbury sugar cookies that only come in stock during certain holidays. It seems like such an insult to the entire premise of your Tiktok account based on baking and cooking, but you’re an absolute sucker for those soft pastries.

“Yeah, can you get me a Shin Ramyun ten pack? Hyuck ate the last one two days ago and didn’t tell me.”

“You sure you don’t want ten boxes again?” You decide to get those Pillsbury sugary delights, happily adding three boxes to your cart. Everybody has a weakness, and yours just so happens to be a premade one way ticket to diabetes. You’re here for a good, delicious time, not a long time.

“No! That was an accident!” He objects, flailing his hands around, before falling back against the couch cushions in defeat. “But Hyuck does all the online grocery shopping now.”

“Thank god. You guys finally have quality toilet paper again.”

The past month of bathroom occurrences was plagued with scratchy tissue that felt more like goddamn sandpaper from the horrible depths of hell. To be honest, you probably would have rather used actual sandpaper, given the choice. You even made sure not to drink too much water any time you came over, but today, you decided to splurge on a venti passion fruit iced tea with sweetener from that very popular franchise sporting a mermaid logo and fiscally cosmic name. To your pleasant surprise, your trip to the toilet this time was wonderfully padded with Charmin Ultra Soft, not that absolutely awful off brand one with the gross texture of a dried pinecone from inferno.

“Hey, that toilet paper was a good steal! It was a three for one deal,” Mark protests, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Wow, I wonder why it was priced so low.” You deadpan, and Mark blanches, recalling all those restroom incidents that were rather rough. Literally.

“Anyway, do you think my viewers wanna see me make chocolate crinkle cookies or mochi doughnuts?” You bring up the two recipes you managed to perfect and add your own spin to on your phone, eyes scanning the ingredient lists.

“Both. And tell me when you’re making them, so I can come over and eat them.” He gives you a wide grin, and you let out a snort at that. His smile only grows as he says happily, “I love your job.”

“You only love it because you can freeload off of me,” you jest, but nevertheless begin to start to add all the ingredients for both recipes to your shopping cart. You always film cooking videos on Tuesdays, edit on Wednesdays, keep Thursdays free for last minute touch ups and emergencies, and post one every week on Fridays with other various random videos uploaded whenever in between. With that in mind, you schedule your upcoming grocery delivery for Monday.

“Hey, you need me. I’m the best taste tester.” He puffs up his chest proudly before hastily tacking on a more genuine reason. “And because I’d starve without you. I can’t live off of instant ramen and frozen chicken nuggets forever. Gordon Ramsay already confirmed my shitty cooking skills. I need you to survive.”

“Oh my god, when I uploaded those pics of your scrambled eggs on Twitter, I lost like a hundred followers in less than a minute.” You confirm the delivery and place your phone on the coffee table, picking up the opened bag of Cheeto puffs before settling back in your seat. “My cooking credibility was completely shot. I had to explain to my fans that I didn’t make those.”

“Yeah, but now everyone calls me Eggy Boi online!” he whines, and you laugh. You have to admit, it’s quite a funny play on the whole “edgy boi” terminology. You wonder if Mark will find it amusing if he discovers his roommate is the culprit behind his new online persona (He probably won’t, and you reckon Donghyuck enjoys living in a safe space where he doesn’t have to sleep with one eye open, so you stay quiet about it. You’ll use it as leverage some other time).

“Okay, Eggy Boi, come by on Tuesday because I’ll be baking in the afternoon,” you say casually, grabbing the remote control from your best friend and pressing play.

You very narrowly avoid a green gummy bear to the face. It lands somewhere behind the couch, lost forever to the dust bunnies and other snacks that missed its target. You know for a fact that it’ll stay there until the boys decide to move to a new apartment. Mark grumbles at the miss, biting off the head of a red cherry flavored gummy bear perhaps a little harder than necessary.

“I hate you. But I’m still coming over next week because I want a doughnut.”

“No cookie?”

“... and a cookie. Maybe two.”

Wednesday comes faster than you expected, and you’re currently holed up in your apartment’s second bedroom—which you had transformed into a snazzy office space—completing the edits to your second video on mochi doughnuts. You already finished polishing the one about the cookies earlier, thank goodness. If you had to stare at your computer screen for another three hours, you would rather eat those pastries Mark tried to make two months ago, but had mistaken salt for sugar. Adding a cup of salt to any baked good is an extremely effective way to make anyone who tasted your best friend’s brownies experience a trip to the beach. Because they essentially just swallowed a mouthful of sand and ocean water. Because it’s salty as heck. Just like Mark was when you told him.

Speaking of your best friend, he’s currently puttering around in your kitchen doing god knows what. He knows better than to try another recipe and possibly blow up your number one moneymaker—your prized oven—in the process. Your heart nearly drops when your ears pick up the faint chopping sounds of a knife against your wooden cutting board. Is he going to try to temper chocolate again? He nearly burned through your entire stock of dark, milk, and white chocolate last time.

After much contemplation and deciding that you deserve a good procrastination break and a fully intact kitchen, you’re about to go out and see what he’s up to when Mark timidly appears in your doorway, clutching onto a white bowl of watermelon cubes with a fork tucked neatly in it. He shuffles in, dropping the snack on your desk before turning to walk out without a word, not wanting to disturb your work mode.

Your heart warms up at the sight, and you speak up, a small smile slipping into your face. “What’s this for?”

“Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.” He pauses in the doorway and adds on sheepishly, “And I can't cook anything, so this is what you get.”

Your heart swells tenfold, and your smile widens even more as you spear a piece of fruit with the fork and quickly pop it into your mouth. “Thanks, Marky.”

His cheeks flush with a pretty shade of carmine, and he fails to suppress the little giddy smile that appears on his face at your nickname for him. He walks out of your office, reddened cheeks still rising up higher than ever. “Y-Yeah, of course. No problem.”

By the time you finish adding the final few touches to your edited video, the bowl of watermelon has been picked clean. You save your video and transfer both of your completed projects to your phone, making a mental note to schedule their uploads and add them to your account’s posting queue later. Shoving your phone in the pocket of your sweats after ensuring the successful transfer of your videos, you pick up the empty dish and walk out towards the kitchen, the silver fork clinking against the side of the bowl with every step.

As you wash the dish and utensil, Mark wanders over from his spot on the couch, leaning forward and casually placing his chin on your shoulder. Almost instantaneously, you feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you briefly fantasize about your best friend wrapping his arms around your waist and how domestic and sweet the two of you would look, like one of those cheesy couples the two of you always made fun of.

“What’s up?” you ask, making a conscious effort to hold your voice steady and not waver over the fact that Mark is basically draped over you. After you place the dish on the drying rack, you turn around to face your best friend, sorely miscalculating the distance as mere inches separate your face from his now.

“I—” Puberty decides to make an ugly appearance in the form of an ill timed voice crack, and he internally curses as he takes a step back, willing the incoming blush to go away. Letting out a small cough, he tries again, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“I, um, Jisung sent me some kind of dance video. He said it’s a challenge? I kinda don’t know what to do with it? Like do I make a new dance, record myself, and send it back? Actually, isn't it easier to just do a dance battle face to face?”

“Can I see the video?” You already have a good idea on what the video will be, but you want to confirm it. Mark fumbles with his phone, pulling up the video in his text messages. He angles the phone towards you for you to see, and you grab his hand, bringing the device a little closer to you for a better look and clicking play.

“Oh, it’s a Tiktok challenge! He’s doing the Say So dance!” you exclaim, recognizing the song almost immediately as your eyes follow the fluid dance moves, completely enthralled. “So a challenge isn’t going up against someone, like a battle. It’s just some kind of trend or concept that you try to copy yourself. You’re supposed to learn the same dance and record yourself for this one. I can show you some other challenges and help you practice and record this one tomorrow if you wanna drop by after work!”

“O-Oh, okay, sounds good.” Mark stumbles over his words, attempting to focus on what you’re saying and the dance Jisung is doing, but all he can think about is the way your body is pressed against his side, hand comfortably wrapped around his. He freezes up as the tips of his ears grow redder and redder with every passing second, and his face sports a similar color. He silently prays for the telltale crimson to go away by the time the dance is over.

When the video ends, you once again realize the close proximity between you and your best friend. Your face burns at this revelation, and you awkwardly take a step back. Clearing your throat, you hastily release Mark’s hand (He inaudibly lets out the breath he’s been holding in this entire time, yet he also already misses the way your hand felt grasping his).

“Uh, anyway, I’m gonna make a latte. Do you want a drink, too?” You walk towards the other side of your kitchen with Mark trailing behind you. You take out a floral, peachy colored mug from your cupboards before pausing and looking at your best friend. “Wait, do you remember how to use a Keurig?”

“Yes!” He says, slightly exasperated as he picks out his own cup from your cabinet. He always uses the same one—a cerulean blue mug with squiggles all over it—and all of your friends and guests know not to use it because it’s unofficially officially Mark’s mug (And perhaps, you did indeed buy it from that overpriced kitschy tableware shop down the street two years ago with your best friend in mind).

“Really?” You select the latte option and press start after you had already positioned the mug beneath the spout and inserted a green tea matcha pod. He finally relents, shoulders sagging and a defeated expression on his face.

“... No.”

You chuckle, taking the mug from him and carefully putting it on the counter. You grab the espresso pod you know he likes from the drawer below and place it next to the cup. “It’s okay, I’ll teach you again.”

Mark tries. He really does. He tries very hard to concentrate on memorizing the simple process, but he keeps getting distracted. His eyes are focused on the correct button to push before they start to trail up to your fingertips. And then, they go from your hand to your arm, then up to the elegant curve of your neck, and finally, to the way your lashes frame your pretty eyes and how the tip of your tongue sticks out slightly as you concentrate until all he can focus on is you, you, you.

Suddenly, in what feels like a blink of an eye, you’re done and handing him his finished drink, complete with a perfectly whipped milk foam on top. You ask him if he knows how to make it now, and all he can do is lie and nod with a barely convincing smile.

After all, how can Mark tell his best friend that the reason he never remembers is because you’re the biggest distraction?

Mark should be here in five minutes, according to his most recent text message. And in the text message below that, your friend had sent you a challenge. More specifically, it’s the one she completed with Donghyuck a few weeks ago. When you said you wanted bold suggestions on how to figure out if your best friend feels the same way about you as you do about him, you didn’t want one this bold.

Yet, the video link to your friend’s “today I kissed my best friend” challenge along with a winky face from her is staring mockingly at you. While you aren’t one to back down from a challenge, the mere thought of kissing your best friend causes vast colonies of butterflies to erupt in your stomach and your ears to feel as if they have caught on fire. You’re already tongue tied with your head in the clouds, and he isn’t even here yet. How utterly fantastic.

However, your mother definitely did not raise a quitter, so you spring into action when you hear the faint jingling of a key being inserted into your apartment’s door (You had given Mark a copy of your key almost immediately after you had moved in). You move the pretty indoor fern given to you by Jaemin as a housewarming gift last year closer to the edge of your towering bookcase, leaning your phone against it. You quickly position the device to capture a good view of the couch area in your living room and press the record button, arranging a few of the leaves to hide as much of your phone as you possibly can without obstructing the lens.

You run full speed to your bedroom, letting out a sigh of relief when you’re safely inside and hear Mark finally unlocking the door successfully and shuffling in. When he calls out to you, you try to even out your breathing, walking out of your room with your tripod and laptop in hand.

“Hey,” you greet him in the most casual tone you can muster. You place the tripod down and sit before opening your laptop and setting it on the coffee table. “I thought we could watch a few challenges for fun before trying the Say So one. Have you watched Jisung’s videos before?”

“Um, well, no, not really,” he confesses sheepishly, taking a seat next to you on the couch, leg pressing against yours. He squints at the YouTube video you pulled up earlier before he had arrived, reading the title before clicking the space button to start it. “Savage Tiktok dance compilation part two?”

“Wait, hold up.” You pause the video and then turn to face him with an incredulous expression on your face. “You’ve never watched any of Jisung’s dance Tiktoks?”

“No… I don’t even have an account.” His cheeks are dusted with the lightest shade of pink as he quietly admits, “I watch all of yours though.”

Your eyes widen at his confession, face heating up as you stammer out, “O-Oh, well, I can help you make an account later to upload your video.”

“Sounds good.” There’s a few seconds of silence as you mull over his previous words before he speaks up again awkwardly, “Should I, uh, play the video?”

“Oh! Yes, right! Of course, hit play,” you laugh nervously, twisting and playing with the hair tie around your wrist. He starts the video again, and the two of you watch the compilation, slowly relaxing once more as you tap your fingers to the rhythm of the song and he bobs his head to the beat.

“Do I have to change outfits like that?” he questions a few minutes later, eyes growing round as he sees the girl on the screen switch between four different outfits throughout the dance. His closet basically consists of the same five black shirts that he stole from Jaehyun. Even if he did do an outfit swap, there would literally be no difference at all.

“You don’t have to,” you assure him, clicking the enter key to play the next video that’s recommended: another Tiktok dance challenge compilation. “All you have to do is copy the dance.”

Mark nods, taking a glance at the laptop screen before his hand shoots out and he pauses the video, leaning forward to take a closer look at the little recommended video title banner at the top. “Wait! What’s that one?”

He clicks on it, the new video now loading up. The two of you wait patiently for it to begin, waiting for the spinning disc to stop. But it doesn’t. In fact, the whole chrome page goes blank and then, the little pixelated Google Chrome dinosaur pops up on your monitor, announcing that you have no internet connection. Furrowing your eyebrows, you try to reload the page before trying to re-establish your laptop connection to your wifi. Unfortunately, you cannot find your appropriately named “drop it like it’s hotspot” wifi anywhere to connect to.

And that’s when it hits you. Your landlord had sent out a notice to the entire apartment complex last week about the electricity being powered down today from 4 to 6 p.m. for a maintenance check, and a quick glance at the digital clock on your laptop shows that it’s a little past four.

You groan, closing your laptop and flopping back against the couch cushions dramatically. Mark cocks his head, slightly confused, before he pokes you in the arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I completely forgot about the scheduled electricity shutdown for the entire building. We won’t have any wifi for the next two hours.” You pout, your bottom lip jutting out in the slightest, and Mark doesn’t think it’s fair that you get to be this cute and have this much of an effect on his racing heart rate.

“That’s okay, we can… play some board games?” he suggests offhandedly, pushing away the embarrassing thought and nudging your leg with his, and you smile before a sudden idea occurs to you.

“Or we can still do some Tiktok challenges! What was the challenge you clicked on?” You quickly sit upright, turning to face your best friend, eyes sparkling in excitement. “I memorized a few of the dance ones already! Was it Renegade? I can teach you that one. Jisung showed me how to do it.”

“Um,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His eyes dart everywhere, except you, as he lets out a feigned cough. “It wasn’t a dance one. It was about, uh, going up to your boyfriend… and um, hugging him... when he’s playing video games.”

“Oh.” You answer lamely, not knowing what to say. You unsuccessfully try to push away the image of you attempting that challenge with your best friend. “Those are really cute.”

“Really?” He says doubtfully, wrinkling his eyebrows and fiddling with the frayed sleeve of his sweater. “Wouldn’t the dude get mad?”

You don’t know what suddenly possessed you to do this (you’ll have to ask Renjun and his paranormal loving ass later), but you thank whatever demon did for that split second because you find yourself gently grabbing Mark’s arm and slipping your head underneath it. You swing one leg over his lap and settle down until you’re securely sitting in his lap, bent legs on either side of his hips, hands curled around the soft fabric of his sweater on both sides and resting on top of your thighs. His arms instinctively go around your waist, wrapping around you securely.

You tilt your head to the side slightly, studying the flustered boy in front of you with a teasing, albeit a little anxious, smile on your lips. “Are you feeling mad?”

Splotches of red litter his cheeks and decorate the tips of his ears, but your best friend furiously shakes his head at your question, bashfully ducking his head afterwards and muttering a soft “No.”

You swallow hard, heart pounding erratically in your chest as you timidly ask, “Would you be mad if I do this?”

Mark looks up at that, confusion written all over his face. His arms start to loosen around your figure, hands now resting on your waist. “If you do what?”

You take a deep breath. “This.”

You lean in and gently press your lips against his. Mark freezes in shock, and you quickly retreat soon after, gnawing at the inside of your cheek as you wait anxiously for his reaction. Your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest and be buried six feet under.

A tiny noise of surprise belatedly escapes from him and crimson spreads across his cheeks like wildfire. His doe eyes are wide and sparkling, staring at you in bewilderment. Your best friend lets out a small laugh of disbelief before a full blown smile breaks out across his face. He gazes at you adoringly, breathing out softly, “I’m not mad at that.”

You perk up at that, draping your arms around his neck as you lean forward, beaming. “Really? You’re not?”

“Definitely not.”

This time, Mark meets you halfway, his lips slotting against yours perfectly and making you feel tingles up and down your spine. Your eyes are closed, and you are so hyper aware of the way his hands grip your hips, how he tugs you closer, and how his lips chase after yours. The number of butterflies from earlier multiply in your stomach, and you have ascended past cloud nine by now.

When the two of you break apart, your eyes flutter open, and you nudge your nose against his affectionately. The brightest grin blooms on his face once again, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his little giggles and hiding the awfully vibrant cerise that rapidly blossoms on his face.

“Is this a good time to tell you congrats for completing your first challenge?” you say, resting your cheek against the crown of his head. You pull away when he lifts his head up, surprised.

“I wasn’t playing video games though,” he says slowly, processing your words and thinking back to the challenge that started this all.

“It was a different challenge. It’s the one that Hyuck did a few weeks ago,” you confess, and realization dawns on him, his face lighting up for a split second before a look of horror takes over.

“Oh, no. Is that why you had your phone recording on the bookshelf?” Mark asks, dread beginning to cloud his mind.

“Yes…” you say slowly, a little perplexed. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Oh my god, I ruined your video,” he moans, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder. “I saw your phone when I walked in and thought you were filming earlier and forgot to turn it off, so I turned it off for you.”

When the words finally register in your mind, you can’t stop the laughter from bubbling out of your throat, and he raises his head up to look at you with wide doe eyes at the pretty sound. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

You can’t stop laughing at the situation, and he looks at you worriedly, gnawing on his bottom lip slightly. You force yourself to calm down, a soft chuckle leaving your lips before you beam at him, leaning in and placing the softest kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’s okay, Mark. I’m not mad. That video wasn’t important anyway.”

“But still,” he whines before letting out a groan and slapping his hand against his forehead when the realization sinks in even further. “I’m such an idiot.”

“But you’re my idiot now, right?” you say teasingly, albeit a little shyly as well, as you reach over to tug his hand away from his face and lace your fingers with his.

“I mean, I kinda thought I was always your idiot,” Mark laughs softly and a little embarrassedly, eyes averted and cheeks turning pinker than ever. The largest grin spreads across your face at that, and you turn away slightly to hide it. You didn’t think your best friend can possibly be any more endearing, but he manages to prove you wrong every time.

“Well, then now you can add ‘Y/N’s boyfriend’ to your resume,” you say, and he fails to suppress the pleased smile appearing on his face at your remark, his rosy cheeks rising even taller than skyscrapers.

“So, uh, what sort of job description does that have?” He gazes at your intertwined hands in wonder, still completely giddy at the reality of you being his best friend and something more.

“Sharing hoodies, giving me attention, kissing, holding my hand, going on dates, you know, the basics,” you answer, squeezing his hand tenderly, and his doe eyes instantly light up. Mark feels a little bolder than before, and it shows when he grins widely and says:

“Can we do number three again?”

“Yes, we can, Eggy Boi.”

He wrinkles his nose at the name, disgruntled and unimpressed, as he crosses his arms over his chest, sulking. You let out a laugh before leaning in and crashing your lips against his. He immediately relents at that, enthusiastically responding and hugging you closer to him, and you can’t help but smile into the kiss as you feel his own smile appear as well.

At that moment, you decide that you want to change Mark’s personal brand. Because his should be “absolutely wonderful, positively amazing, a cute kisser, your boyfriend, and your bestest friend.” And yes, that is most definitely more than the allotted three words, but again, who’s really counting?

Certainly not you when you’re too preoccupied with kissing your best friend. Correction: best friend and new boyfriend.

One new notification: donutkillmyvibe uploaded a new video!

moominjun commented:

so you’re saying the reason why we didn’t get the highly anticipated best friend challenge video is because @ marklyrawr turned the camera off?

donutkillmyvibe replied: yes 😔 I’m sorry to disappoint everyone 🤧

nanaislove replied: omg no bby it’s ok 🥺🥺💞💓💓💝💗 you didn’t have to make an apology video for that 🥺💗💓💘💖

goofys.chuckle replied: yeah it’s mark’s fault. he’s the disappointment here 🥴

morklyrawr replied: hahahahaha stfu hyuck

tytrack commented:

mark is going through puberty. I apologize

dobunny replied: @.@

goofys.chuckle commented:

are we getting whip(ped)lash pt 2 by eggy boi?

morklyrawr replied: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THAT NAME?????

goofys.chuckle replied: uh gotta blast 🚀

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle does this mean you’re staying over again?

goofys.chuckle replied: @ showmethemonet yes if you want your super cute, mega talented, very handsome boyfriend to still be alive 🥺

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle oh my god I didn’t know I was dating bts jin???

moominjun replied: LMFAOOOOO

goofys.chuckle replied: heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻‍♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊

jenojam commented:

why am I not surprised……

itsmebetch replied: just mark thingz 🍉

suhprisemf commented:

mark your head looks flat af

jungjaeprince replied: 😂😂😂

10vely replied: @ jungjaeprince be quiet don’t cry

letswonwon commented:

whoop whoop

junguwu commented:

OMG CONGRATS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP SWEETIE 😍😍

takoyaki_prince commented:

MARK!!!!! you look handsome !! 😘

jisungpwark commented:

rip to @ donutkillmyvibe ’s future videos that mark will ruin. press f in the chat to pay respects 🙏🏻

bigheadking replied: F ✊🏻😔

peachyangel replied: f 🥺🥺

yoitslucas replied: F 🤪🤪🤪 but glad you’re happy, man ❤️

donutkillmyvibe replied: F 💔

morklyrawr replied: @ donutkillmyvibe wtf babe????

officialgordonramsay commented:

didn’t i tell you to get back on tinder ?

apado_god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

3K notes · View notes

wonderful-wells-writing · 4 years ago

Text

Fanclub; Chapter 1

EoWells x Reader

Some of the STAR Labs employees have a secret fanclub where they discuss Harrison Wells and share pictures they take when they think he isn't looking. Problem is it's not quite as secret as they think it is. The man himself seems to have taken an interest in the the little group, finding it to be the perfect place to find willing partners to satisfy his needs. And you're his next pick.

Work is dying down for the evening at STAR Labs. Chemists are checking that all the storage units are set to the proper temperatures. Engineers are making sure that everything that needs to be powered down is. Lab techs are cleaning up their stations. But nearly everybody is discussing their plans for the weekend.

There is one worker who is not engaging in such conversations. You are currently crammed between two sections of machinery, determined to get this wiring finished before leaving for the day. That way, Monday, bright and early your team can start doing test runs.

You are not engaging in conversation with others but rather are talking to yourself as you work. “Some red over here, blue wire over there.” Your grin would light up the room if anybody could see it. “I just love when a color-coded array comes together.” There’s a buzz on your right butt-cheek, and you squeal in surprise.

“Everything alright in there?” One of the other scientists looks up from the desk.

“Yeah, Bri,” you extract yourself from the machine parts. “My phone just went off, and I thought something shocked me.”

“Girl, I can not tell you how often that happens to me,” Bri takes her purse from a drawer and a jacket off the chair. “So, what are your plans for the weekend. More number crunching?”

You pull your phone from your back pocket. “Actually my college roommate is having a bachelorette party tonight. So I said I would swing by the bar for a bit.”

“Sounds fun,” Bri gives a wave before heading to the door. “Don’t party too hard.”

She returns the wave before opening a group chat app on her phone to see what the notification is about.

KittyCat42; O.M.G did you see Dr. Wells today? a shirt THAT tight can not be workplace appropriate!!!

Attached is a photo taken from a smartphone at an angle in which the subject does not seem to be aware their picture is being taken. Dr. Harrison Wells is leaning over a desk, examining something on a monitor. Kitty is right; his shirt is very tight, his biceps bulge through the long black sleeves.

You grin, considering sending a reply, but another message comes in first.

YummyBitch73; Think he’s got plans? Looking that good, he’s got to be going out tonight.

Your thumbs move across the screen to type a quick response.

BabyDoll14; Maybe he has a date tonight?

KittyCat42; wonder who the lucky girl is?

You lean against a nearby workbench, smirking at the screen.

---

On the other side of the lab, somebody picks up their phone to check the barrage of notifications coming in. They chuckle before adding their own two cents.

Speedy22: Hey, who knows, it could be a lucky guy.

YummyBitch73: Oh you wish, he is a lady killer through and through

BabyDoll14: I mean, who are we to judge if it’s a lucky lady or gent. Maybe he swings one way, maybe he swings both ways. Who cares, we’re just here to talk about his ass behind his back.

“Speedy’ nods, almost respecting the woman on the other side of the screen for staying objective about objectifying her boss.

Speedy22: Speaking of ass, I got this one yesterday

He opens his gallery and scrolls until an ‘appropriate picture is found. A nice shot of Dr. Wells from behind; the quality is incredible for a smartphone shot. The man’s shirt is riding up, showing a nice strip of the skin of his back, even a bit of where his boxers rise above the waistband of his hands.

YummyBitch73: Damn Speedy, you always get the good ones. You’ll have to teach me some photography lessons sometime.

KittyCat42: what kind of camera are you using? The quality is so gooooood.

“Hey,” a woman’s voice draws his attention away from his device. “Are you staying late again tonight?”

Harrison Wells takes a breath to look her up and down, mentally running through his mind all the employees to try and remember who it is at his office door. “I’ll be headed out soon; I just have to wrap some things up.”

He recalls who she is when he sees the look she’s giving him. Brianna Masters, a specialist working down in Lab C. She would have had to go out of her way to get to his office before leaving. Self-proclaimed president of the Dr. Wells Fanclub, he had just been interacting with the group chat of; after the former president left with a job offer at Mercury Labs. She had been making goo-goo eyes at him since her interview three months ago.

“Well,” Bri twirls a curl of her hair, fluttering her eyelashes. “Harrison, you know I was wondering if you might like to take me out to get some drinks tonight?”

Dr. Wells tries to hide his displeasure at the thought. She wasn’t his type, physically, mentally, emotionally, “I have plans in the morning that require a clear head. Miss. Masters. Now is there anything of importance that you need?” The man was not adverse to flights of fancy to pass the time; he wouldn’t be keeping an eye on the little Fanclub of his if he wasn’t willing to look for ‘interested parties,’ but this particular woman has been of no real interest to him.

For reasons such as how she pouts at his response, “Well, having fun is important.” She mutters before wandering off down the hall, turning her attention to her phone.

YummyBitch73; holy Shit! He just asked me out for drinks. It sucks so much that I have to drive out to Coast City; I”d have taken him up in a heartbeat otherwise.

----

Back in Lab C, you finally finish with the maintenance on the machine. You check your phone once more while heading over to the desk and nearly cackle at what you’re reading. Everybody knows that Bri is full of shit, but there’s no point in calling it out and causing discourse.

You mute the phone to focus on your computer. While humming a quiet tune, you work on moving files to the USB stick plugged into the monitor.

“Fuck,” you whisper, seeing the download time in comparison to the clock on the screen. Of course, you could just leave it be, take the weekend off. It’s not like you get paid extra to run calculations at home.

17 minutes later

“Nonononono, wait, please!” You’re half running to the street as the bus pulls away, leaving you in the illuminated circle of a streetlamp, cursing yourself. That was going to be the last bus coming this way for the night. If you walk home, you’ll never make it in time to change for the party. You might not even make the event at all. You pace up and down the sidewalk, contemplating your options.

A car pulls up beside you, tinted window rolling down, “Need a lift?”

You stop, shocked, “Oh, no I…” you pause, looking through the window, “Dr. Wells, hi...hey.” You swallow your pride. “I would really love to get a ride on-with, with you.” Internally you cringe at how that came out, but figure he probably wouldn’t have heard such a minor slip.

The lock clicks open, and you reach for the door.

“Maple Apartments on South 11th street, right?” Harrison glances at you as you get in the car.

You pause before shutting the door, “do I want to know how you know that?”

He laughs, and you jump a bit at it, “I can see how that would sound a little suspicious.” His smile is reassuring, and his blue eyes are kind behind his glasses. “It was on your registration forms when you started. I enter new employee data myself. Total recall can be useful even for small matters.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, shutting the door and buckling in. “I really appreciate this Dr. Wells, I would have been so late tonight if I didn’t get home to change soon.”

“Bit plans tonight?” Harrison asks as he starts driving. Truth is he had suspected you’d be missing her bus. He had seen you running after the last bus or driven past you walking home numerous times out his way out. You had quite the habit of working until the absolute last moment.

You smile, twiddling your thumbs to keep your hands occupied. “Yeah, I’m meeting a friend at the new bar that opened down the street from my place. She’s getting married soon, and since I can’t make the wedding, I promised I would spend at least a couple hours at her bachelorette party.” You aren’t exactly sure why you’re volunteering this information to your boss. It would be inappropriate to be so casual with him; then again, it’s also inappropriate to be part of a Fanclub that secretly takes pictures of him and talks about how great his ass looks.

Harrison ‘hmms’ in thought. “Why can’t you make it to the wedding?” He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, taking a moment to take in the way you sit, act, look, before returning his eyes to the road.

“Oh, they scheduled it for a Wednesday, so,” you look towards him just moments after he looks away. The first thing you notice is his hair; whenever you’ve seen him in the morning, it’s perfectly combed and straight, but it seems like as the day went on, it began to take on a life of its own. While the back is still nice and neat, the front is sticking out in all kinds of directions.

“You could have asked for the day off,” Dr. Wells offers, “Am I such a terrible boss that you think I”d deny you some vacation after all your hard work?”

You feel a heat rise to your cheeks at what seems to be a compliment to her work ethic, “Oh no, I don’t think that at all. It’s just that, well, we have so much work to do. Every day we get a little closer to your dreams of the particle accelerator, and I want to contribute absolutely everything I can to that dream.” You smile. “You’re going to do such incredible things for the world of science Dr. Wells, and I don’t want to waste any time that could be spent helping you.”

The man is somewhat stunned by this. He’d attributed her long hours and determination to personal ambition. “What about you? Do you want history to remember you for your achievements?”

You bite your lower lip in thought at the question, “I mean sure, it would be nice to be recognized for my contribution, but,” she takes a deep breath, “I’m more concerned about how my work will impact the world, not so much if I’m remembered for it. Anyways you’re the true genius. I can tell that STAR Labs will make big changes and put humanity on a path towards the future. As long as I get to be a part of that, it’s all I really need.”

Harrison does a low chuckle at your sentiment, amused by the naivety. You speak with such hope and wonder and admiration. If you knew the truth, how horrified would you be? The realization of the end goal of the particle accelerator, the effects across history that your determination would wreak.

He grins, “Well, I am glad to have such a dedicated employee, but I do believe that one off day is not going to hurt our progress.”

You purse your lips, “You don’t come down to Lab C very often; you’d be surprised how off the rails things can go when I’m not there. Anyways I would rather work than go to a wedding. It’s not my kind of scene.”

He can sense that you are holding something back but doesn’t press the issue any further. He’s reached your apartment building anyways.

“If you change your mind, I’ll be more than happy to give you the time off,” he says as he parks.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you reach for the door handle, “oh, and thank you so much for the ride. I really owe you one.”

Dr. Wells makes a mental note about cashing in that favor later. “You just stay safe and enjoy yourself tonight.” He smiles warmly at you as you wave goodbye, but when the door shuts, his grin turns a bit darker. He watches you walk away, eyes tracing the curve of your figure, resting on the beautiful shape of your rear, right up until you disappear into your building.

As he begins to drive away, he catches sight of himself in the rearview mirror. There is something about this form of his that seems to drive the ladies crazy, and he wasn’t opposed to taking advantage of that. While pulling back into the street and driving away, he thinks on his situation.

For 13 years now, Eobard Thawne has been trapped in this god-forsaken time period. For a while, he had focused solely on his mission, rarely interacting with others unless it served a greater purpose. But he was still a man, subject to desire. At first, it was almost enough to make him regret allowing Harrison Well’s wife to die, she could have filled his needs easily. But that woman had been intelligent; she’d have discovered his identity eventually, so allowing her to die had been for the best.

Still, after a few years of isolation, Thawne had found the need unbearable and began seeing ways to fill the hole that was forming in his chest. Little flings, one-off nights where he indulged his carnal side, allowed himself the pleasure of another’s body before quickly parting ways with them, when he discovered that a fanclub devoted to him had been formed amongst his employees, that made the whole thing easier.

Joining the group chat under a false name was easy enough. It inflated his ego every time he read them discussing how great they thought he looked, and he was more than happy to provide material for them to gush over. And with that, it was like he had been given a list of women who would fuck him with no questions asked. All he had to do was choose. Of course, he has to be wary of those who might get too clingy or go off telling other people. But it’s not that hard to week those types out of the pack.

Thawne notices magenta neon as he’s driving. A club with a grand opening sign out front. He smiles, knowing that now not only does he have a new prey lure in, but the perfect hunting ground as well.

#eowells x reader #eowells fanfiction #harrison wells x reader #harrison wells fanfiction #eowells #harrison wells #jade writes

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circethegoblin · 4 years ago

Text

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

#life hacks #life #not dying #staying alive #no one will see this #who cares though

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indulge-that-sin · 4 years ago

Text

A Social Experience

Characters: GN!MC, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Mammon

Wordcount: 1700

Tags: Fluff, Domestic, Bonding Activities, Humor

(No spoilers for latter lessons, but takes place fairly late in the game.)

***

"--a gross, shut-in otaku like me!" Levi finished, on the all too familiar note.

Usually by this point you would already be launching into reassurances that he certainly wasn't gross, and shouldn't talk about himself like that, but this time there was nothing but a silence that bounced off the walls, damning and louder than any words.

You reached into your bag of chips, removed a single potato chip, and ate it as you tilted your head in thought. Levi took your silence like a slap in the face, and recoiled, his face already wavering. The sound of your chewing was distressingly loud in contrast.

You finished chewing and swallowed. "I mean, is that even true anymore?" you asked after a nerve-wracking length of time.

Levi's expression twisted more into confusion than hurt. "Huh?!"

"Don't you kind of lose your hikikomori credentials if you become popular and people start coming to spend time with you all the time?"

"That's not-- I'm not-- You don't count!" Levi sputtered.

"Oh, I don't count, huh," you repeated, putting a hand to your chest and dramatically feigning heartbreak.

Levi looked abashed now. "Th-that's not what I meant," he rushed to add.

"I know what you meant," you said. "Give it an hour."

Now Levi tilted fully into confusion.

"Give what an hour?"

"My point to be made," you said, and placed your D.D.D. onto the lip of the bathtub, out of your own reach. It was also clearly visible to Levi as you both sat on beanbags in front of his TV, next to the bath tub. "An hour," you repeated in a portentous video game narrator voice.

Levi scowled and picked up his controller again, turning back to his game. But his reactions were off, now. His character moved jerkily around the screen, doubling back and taking wrong turns on the 8-bit map as Levi's mood roiled with the strangeness of the conversation.

You continued eating your chips slowly, savoring the taste of the limited edition novelty flavor that Levi had generously acquired for you. He'd tried to pass it as a coincidence, but he didn't really know anyone else who unironically enjoyed the taste of cream and devilradish chips.

Not even half an hour passed before there was a knock on the door. Levi asked for the password on reflex. Surprisingly, from the other side of the door came a sigh, and then Asmo's melodious voice reciting the string of nerd trivia that Levi had set as a password for him ever since they became unlikely allies for the Bloody Moon competition.

"Come in, I guess," Levi replied, giving you a long look. Your D.D.D. was still on the edge of the bathtub, untouched as you sat there elbow-deep in greasy chips. You couldn't have called anyone over. And yet, was this what you expected to happen?

"Give it forty more minutes now," you said low.

Asmo fluttered into the room, like a passing breeze bringing in the smell of perfume.

"Oh, there you are, darling, I was wondering where you were," he said, face lit up as he saw you.

He sat uninvited next to you in the beanbag, and you scooted over to make space for him. Levi would have complained, except moving to make room for Asmo meant you shuffled closer to Levi instead, so he ended up biting his tongue.

"What do you want?" Levi grit out.

"Must I want something?" Asmo asked, "Is it not enough that I give my adorable brother the opportunity to entertain me?"

"He's bored," you translated.

"I'm soooo bored," Asmo whined, his shoulders rolling in a full-body sigh. But he perked up as he leaned forward to look at both you and Levi. "But what about all this? Mind if I join the fun~?"

"Let's find a game Asmo can play," you suggested.

"If you'd like," Asmo acquiesced with a shrug, indicating he'd had some other kind of fun in mind.

Levi gave you another sidelong glance, full of suspicion, but his head was out of the game he was playing anyway, so he exited and pulled up his game library instead. Deciding which game to choose was the trickier part, because Asmo had terrible reflexes, and an attention span worse than Mammon's when it came to playing anything. This ruled out anything requiring twitch reflexes or understanding complicated rules.

Asmo, meanwhile, scrunched his nose at your chips.

"All that grease and salt is going to be awful for your complexion, darling," he said, clearly disapproving.

"I'm not rubbing it on my face," you said, and defiantly sucked crumbs off your thumb. Levi nearly choked at the sound, which was borderline obscene. The little sound Asmo made in response did nothing to contradict this impression. Levi managed to swallow back the wave of envy before it came undammed by concentrating on the list of games on the screen. He still had to make a selection.

A farming sim seemed like a safe enough choice; something bright and frivolous. Just like Asmo.

Levi passed the controller as the title screen came up, and Asmo, to his credit, managed to choose the 'New Game' option without messing anything up. Yet. When the screen went dark as the game loaded, Asmo couldn't resist looking at his reflection and primping his hair a bit. Levi did resist snorting and rolling his eyes, but it was a close thing.

The character creation screen popped up with its myriad of options, and Asmo gasped in delight.

"Oh! This is a good start! Much better than getting shoved into some ugly gray metal suit at the beginning," Asmo remarked cheerfully. He cycled through the hair and clothing options with the speed and deftness of a veteran player.

"Hey, beginner armor in RPGs can be colorful too," Levi protested.

"But not fashionable, apparently," Asmo sniffed.

Asmo had only just barely settled on a hairstyle and color combination he thought was adequately cute, and was scrunching his nose at the shirt options, when another knock came at the door.

"Come in," you called out, before Levi could demand a password.

Mammon's head popped through the door, and he pulled a face when he saw you there, just like he always did when you were in somebody else's company and not his.

"Eh? What're you doing here?" Mammon asked, closing the door behind him and sidling up to the three of you.

He craned his neck and squinted at the screen, like he was verifying that whatever you were doing, it passed his requirements for propriety. Between knowing the kinds of games Levi had in his collection, and seeing Asmo there, maybe he was not completely unjustified in some suspicion, but it still made you want to roll your eyes.

"We're watching Asmo create his character," you explained.

Mammon guffawed. "Betcha been watching him do that for a while!"

"Fifteen minutes, more or less," you said. "But to be fair, Levi takes way longer to create characters."

"It's an important step!" Levi sputtered.

"Especially with the quality of the options," Asmo added. "Look at this. A purple T-shirt with a pink butt on it?"

"That's a peach!" Levi protested, his face turning red.

"I know what a butt looks like, Levi," Asmo replied tartly.

"Wait, wait, Asmo, that black one with the gold design ain't half bad! Go back an' pick that one."

"That gaudy thing! Absolutely not!"

"Mammon, why are you even here?" Levi asked, now completely exasperated with his brothers.

"I was just seein' if we were still on for Devil Kart against those Purgatory Hall guys. We need ta win back our honor, ya know."

"Do we?" Levi asked suspiciously, "or are you running a betting pool again?"

Mammon made a good show of appearing indignant at the very suggestion, but he'd hit you up earlier today about whether you'd be willing to take a dive in the second half of Candy Mountain in exchange for a lump grimm sum, so you knew too much about the subject to defend Mammon without exposing him.

"Can't I be showin' an interest without ya gettin' all suspicious a' me? What makes me so weird, huh? Asmo here doesn't even play games, and I don't see ya hasslin' him!"

"I do too play games," Asmo protested.

"Really? 'Cause only thing I ever saw you play was that stupid matching thing with the gems, and I ain't seen much of even that lately."

You knew which game Mammon meant, because it was the only game app you'd ever seen on Asmo's phone. You'd watch him play in moments of boredom, swiping his screen with a completely blank look of concentration as he matched the colors of the gems in rows and columns, and they burst into sparkles.

"Ugh, of course you haven't seen me play, I finished it. I have to wait until they add new levels."

"Didn't that game have like ten thousand levels already?" you asked. "You mean you passed all of them?"

"Eleven thousand and sixty five," Asmo corrected primly. "And yes, I did them all. I have to wait until they add more now. I asked."

The room fell into shocked silence at this. Even Levi looked mildly dyspeptic at the thought of completing eleven thousand levels of a match-3 game. You'd played it yourself for a while, and past the two hundredth level, the number of complicated mechanics the game introduced had completely broken you.

"Anyway," Mammon said after a few more beats of silence. He gestured to the screen, where Asmo was flicking between two shirt options. "This thing got co-op or somethin'?"

You finished your chips, and folded away the empty bag. When you picked up your D.D.D., fifty five minutes had passed.

"Still five minutes left," you muttered to Levi while Asmo and Mammon bickered over the choice of pants. "Wanna play the long odds and see if the twins show up too?"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point," Levi grumbled. "I let way too many people waltz in here. I'll have to tighten security."

But Levi's heart wasn't really in it, and when he turned to watch Mammon try to swipe Asmo's controller while the latter loudly protested, there was almost a smile threatening to spread over Levi's face.

#obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me asmodeus #obey me mammon

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themiracleofteddybearmanifestos · 3 years ago

Text

spoilers galore, be warned

I finished watching this show about an hour+ ago but I'm spinning. I'm on an emotional high, and I just need to rant some more to get it out of my system.

Where to begin. There's a thousand things to say so I'll just start wherever.

Tarn. I love this man more than ever expected. I'm a huge enemy of shows that spend the entirety of the run time developing a relationship only to throw it away, but! As the flashbacks with Tarn and Nut came, all I could do was wish for this mans happiness. He's sweet, loving, caring, respectful, respectable, an activist, an artist, beautiful, smart, determined. Essentially, every good quality a person could posses, this man hoards.

I hate how the ending went for Tofu, and yet, I brought it upon myself because I wished for Tarn to be happy. I would have rioted if he didn't get a happy ending and I couldn't see any possible way for him to get that aside from how things played out. He deserved every bit of joy he could get, especially after enduring a lot. Though, I will say that Nut definitely endured the worst of anyone. How could so many things go wrong in one persons life? It's a tragedy on top of a tragedy for him, and I'm glad he found his happiness, even though I'm upset at the price it cost.

Tofu, my sweet angel. I loved him every bit as much as I loved Tarn. What a selfless boy, and what a kind soul. Weird that he's a teddy bear, and the final episode did a lot of weird things. I didn't quite like how he was lingering even til the end. He only wanted Nut to be happy, and I guess he could be considered happy with how things went down, but seeing him at the very end was a bit sour for me.

I would have liked to see some more moments with Tarn and Nut together at the end, since that's who he ended up with. I've never felt this split between love interests in what I didn't expect to be a love triangle and I don't even know if it could be called that.

There's a lot to be said, and my thoughts are a mess. I wrote in my phones notes app 100 pages worth (not exaggerating) of ranting, and yet I have an infinite amount more to say. I haven't come to terms with anything that happened.

Prib, I'll throw her in here. She sucked and I hated her. I am sad to always say that about women in BL shows, BUT here's the thing. She grew on me once she got over Nut and was just a friend. because she's a very beautiful, sweet girl by the end. I just couldn't stand her antics and she frustrated me beyond belief for a good chunk of her screen time. But like I said, once she calmed down and was a friend, I was able to love her. I had in passing hoped she'd get a girlfriend because that's my agenda always, but I didn't expect for them to actually do it. I need an entire show dedicated to them. Prib is genuinely SO adorable, and her eventual girlfriend is as well. I screamed despite usually hating to do that. I legitimately screamed..

I'm going to be transferring my notes to this blog just so I can pretend that someone is hearing me because I need to express this to the world.

Trauma!!!! I'll obviously do an entire post dedicated to this subject, but it needs to be mentioned here also. The handling of trauma was very well done whether that was Mrs Na's trauma or Nut's. They're such sympathetic people, and yet I also was angry at them multiple times. But that's indicative of a good, fleshed out character. They were consistent and made mistakes, but their hearts were good. Nut dealt with his mother so poorly, but when things were more explained you realize oh shit, he's in a terrible position. I would say I wouldn't wish any of the things that happen to him upon my worst enemy, but that's a lie. I wish that and more would happen to Jan and the woman who runs the company that Saen worked for. Also I'm glad Sib died, and that's one reason why I can't hate Saen. He did shitty things, but he wasn't an irredeemable person like his brother and wife. I am upset he took the fall for Jan. They both should have been locked up. But that Jan murdered Tofu and was able to get away with it is so infuriating. I hated that woman from the start and I'll hate her forever more. She did nothing good, and was cruel to a woman suffering from debilitating mental illnesses. She was hateful and evil towards innocent young men, and threw slurs at them for existing. She murdered the sweetest boy alive, but in that instance it was moreso an assisted suicide.

Tofu til the very end was selfless and loving. I wish he hadn't done what he did, but to him it's what he thought was the right choice. Because if he hadn't, Tarn would never have woken up. And I hate that it boiled down to one or the other. I cannot express how much I hate it.

I'm not exaggerating by saying witnessing Tofu's death was a traumatic experience and I know that that's so silly and unhealthy for me to have gotten so attached to a character but I'm incredibly isolated at the moment so I cling to what I can. I keep seeing flashes of the scene, him spasming and foaming at the mouth, and God it really sucks. I cried harder than I've cried in a long while, and that's saying a lot considering how hard and how often I tend to cry.

To describe him as a miracle was entirely correct. His very existence was quite literally a miracle, but everything about him was beyond that. The healing he brought to the lives of everyone he knew, whether Na and Nut, or Song and his father. He fixed relationships and individuals.

Brief interlude for Keunchai, who is my dearest friend despite never truly meeting him. I would die for him. When he wore the lion outfit, the party hat, and when he got bingo? I couldn't help but be delighted. Love that good boy with every fibre of my being!

Back to Tarn, who I love dearly. I just need to repeat it over and over to really make it hit home. He's wonderful and amazing. He gave Nut so much love and support, and then went on to also give the world the same. Almost getting killed to protest deforestation and corrupt corporations? One of the most respectable things possible!

Oh, one of my most loved lines was when Nut said "Tarn showed me the reality of this world, but you showed me the beauty." following Tofu's death.

On the matter of LGBTQ+ ! I love how blatantly and repeatedly the matters were mentioned. Nut specifically said he wanted to show that the "country that exports BL shows, has the prettiest transgender people, and has gay couples as internet celebrities, doesn't treat those same people with respect" (not verbatim). There were a lot of issues addressed on the inner workings of the country that I, a foreigner, have no place to further touch upon. But I'm definitely appreciative of the calling out of civil rights violations in any context for any nation.

I'm cutting this short (ironic word choice) because I'm going to switch back to my phones notes so I can vent even more there. Will upload that in its entirety though.

#the miracle of teddy bear #the miracle of teddy bear spoilers #rant #thai drama #thai bl

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p-eppermintea · 4 years ago

Text

love is a drug (but it never comes with a warning)

AO3 LINK

Pairing: Erwin Smith / Levi Ackerman (Eruri) Characters: Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Isabel Magnolia, Farlan Church Rating: Explicit Warnings: No warnings apply Word Count: 13186 Tags: Sexual Content, Hook-up to Lovers, Pining, Angst, Croissant the cat, Love Confessions, Christmas, Yes I wrote the Christmas scenes in June

Excerpt / Summary:

So, here’s the thing. Levi really isn’t the type of person who invites strangers over for sex. Sure, he had a couple of hook-ups, quick fumbles, and one-night stands after nights out in his younger years – but that’s about the extent of it.

NOTE: I started this in October and very slowly finished it over the past 8-ish months. Quality control courtesy of ADHD and my inability to force myself to edit, mixed with my impatience to post. Sorry about mistakes!

So, here’s the thing.

Levi really isn’t the type of person who invites strangers over for sex. Sure, he had a couple of hook-ups, quick fumbles, and one-night stands after nights out in his younger years – but that’s about the extent of it.

The older he gets, the less he cares about sex. He’s slowly paying off a mortgage, has hobbies and a good job and a couple of even better friends. Meeting people just seems like a waste of time, and sex is just so unnecessary and messy.

But after almost two years of celibacy and with the house to himself for the weekend, he caves and downloads Grindr. He pours himself a glass of wine, downs it, and meanders around the house for a little bit. He feeds his cat. Pours himself another glass of wine. Polishes his already meticulously clean coffee table. He finally opens the app properly.

Making a profile doesn’t take him too long, and most of that time is taken up by choosing a profile picture. He settles on the gym photo he sent to Isabel a week earlier. He doesn’t really take a lot of photos of himself either, so it’s not exactly hard for him to choose.

Levi takes one look at the array of profiles before he sighs heavily and throws his phone to the other side of the couch. This is so stupid.

He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. He’s thirty, for fuck’s sake. He’s gone through all of the stupid hormonal-fuelled confusion from his teen and early adult years, and he hasn’t been self-conscious about himself for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t even get nervous before big presentations. So why is this making his heart race and his palms sweat?

He sits and finishes his drink slowly, listening as his phone buzzes every now and then in front of him.

About twenty minutes pass before he eventually gives in and grabs his phone again.

Three messages. Alright, not bad. He can deal with three messages.

They aren’t really anything special. It’s about what Levi expected; “Top or bottom?”, “Come here often?”. And, of course, a dick pic straight away. Levi scoffs at that last one. It’s an okay photo, he supposes. It’s a just dick, though, there isn’t really much more to it. He’s worth more than some low-effort and unsolicited dick pic, though, so the message is ultimately ignored.

He’s actually a little disappointed by the choices. Maybe he’s a bit too old for this, but it just seems like people have gotten lazy when it comes to looking for hookups. They could’ve at least put some effort into their first messages, for fuck’s sake.

Levi shoots a lazy reply of “Switch” to the first guy. He looks okay in his profile picture. Attractive, but with soft features and the build of a particularly thin tree. He doesn’t really find himself gravitating towards that type of man too often.

Mr. Cheesy-Pick-Up-Line is more his type. Tall, wide shoulders, chiselled, and downright handsome. Erwin, thirty-five. A little bit closer to his age, too.

Too bad his first message is so lame.

Erwin: Come here often?

Levi: What is this, the nineties? Does that even ever work?

Levi: I just downloaded this.

Erwin: Not yet, but I’ve got my fingers crossed! What brings you here?

Levi: Looking for a hook-up, I guess.

Erwin: Any luck?

Levi: Not yet. Unless one mediocre dick pic counts.

Erwin: Unfortunate. I find that it’s quite rare to find a decent one. I could definitely send a much better one

Erwin: That was a joke. I think. Unless…?

This guy is so lame.

Levi: Ha. Ha. Ha. Hilarious.

He chews on his lip, contemplating. He flicks off the lid of the wine bottle and takes a swig. Fuck it. He might as well throw himself right in the deep end and get it over with.

Levi: Alright then. I’ll warn you though, I’m a tough crowd to impress.

And, well.

It’s something, alright. He was right, at least – it is much better. Warm early-morning lighting, with soft shadows that define the sharp planes of his hips. He’s kneeling on a bed, hard and curved in his hand, and okay. Levi’s stomach twists deliciously.

Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.

Levi: When can you come over?

When turns out to be right this minute.

Levi chews on his fingernails for the entire forty minutes it takes for Erwin to get to his house.

It’s not until he hears a car door slamming closed out on his driveway that it finally sets in. He’s known this guy for approximately… What, an hour now? And he’s coming over. To his house. At damn near ten o’clock at night.

Oh God, what if he’s a total catfish. Or a serial killer?

By the time there’s a knock at the door, Levi still hasn’t decided whether or not he can actually go through with it. He spends way too long pacing by the door and swearing to himself under his breath. He picks up his cat, and puts her down, and then picks her up again, before finally opening the door.

Erwin is standing in front of him, way taller and way more handsome than his photo looked. “Levi?”

The cat squirms in his arms. “Um.” Levi swallows, his throat suddenly dry. “Yeah, that’s me.” He steps aside and gestures inside, inviting him in.

Erwin steps inside, moving slowly and smiling kindly at Levi on his way past. “Cute cat,” he comments while Levi is bumping the door closed with his hip. He steps closer – way too close – and immediately starts rubbing behind her ears.

“Her name is Croissant,” Levi mumbles. She’s a little sand-coloured thing, with big green eyes and a fluffy tail. The name suits her. “She’s my housemate’s cat.”

Erwin laughs. “Nice to meet you, Croissant.” He’s leaning down and cooing over her, and she’s purring. That little shit, who almost never purrs when Levi is petting her, is actually purring.

Before Levi can get too annoyed that Erwin is giving the cat more attention, Erwin straightens up and looks at Levi with a bright grin. “How shall we do this, then?” he asks. “Would you feel more comfortable if we sit down and talk first, or just get into it?”

Levi contemplates for a moment, Croissant squirming in his arms until she breaks free from his hold and dashes off into the kitchen. It’s not like they’re on a date or anything, so getting to know each other first seems a little pointless to him. “What do you usually do?”

“I don’t do this too often, but when I do, I find it easier to start slow.” He’s already pretty close, but he steps forwards, moving more and more into Levi’s space. They’re basically breathing in each other’s mouths. Levi wets his dry as fuck lips and shuffles nervously. “Is this okay?”

Levi nods, and Erwin’s hand starts travelling lightly up his arm. His body jerks automatically in response, but he quickly relaxes. His hand eventually stops on Levi’s elbow, and he leans even closer. “Tell me when to stop,” he mumbles.

Erwin is taking his sweet time, studying Levi’s face. He squirms under his steely blue gaze. The anticipation is fucking killing him. It’s almost unbearable.

So Levi kisses Erwin first. He raises up onto the tips of his toes and smashes their lips together, throwing his arms up around Erwin’s neck, slow be damned.

It’s good, as far as first kisses go. Erwin is soft and tender, but there’s this underlying dominance to him. He allows Erwin to kiss his way into his mouth, his hands sliding up Levi’s arms and finding their way onto his cheeks.

They move slowly to the living room, hands and mouths roaming carelessly, and clothes slowly finding themselves strewn out on the floor. They fall onto the couch together, Erwin pulling Levi’s shirt off over his head and dropping it onto the floor next to them. Levi shudders at the sight of clothes discarded on the floor haphazardly, but then Erwin is kissing him again, and pushing him down into the couch cushions, and climbing on top of him, and suddenly he just doesn’t mind.

“Do you mind if I mark you?” Erwin asks, looking down at Levi with narrow eyes.

Levi’s breath catches in his throat, and he shakes his head quickly. Erwin moves downwards, and Levi’s head immediately falls back to expose his neck, his eyes rolling back when Erwin’s lips attach to his skin.

Part of Levi wants to roll Erwin over and make him beg – he usually takes on a more dominant role during sex. But they’ve only been making out for about ten minutes, and Levi just wants to lay there and let Erwin do whatever he wants to him, as many times as he wants. Levi groans quietly as Erwin digs his teeth into his skin and sucks hard.

They just seem to click.

Afterwards, when they’re both sweaty and exhausted and very much satisfied, Levi makes Erwin a cup of tea, and they sit in the kitchen and drink in silence.

After Levi’s usual hook-ups, he usually either kicks the guy out, or passes out immediately afterwards and pretends to still be asleep in the morning as he sneaks out, never to be seen again. He doesn’t have time for casual conversation with random guys from clubs.

This time feels different – he actually kind of likes Erwin. He’s definitely the best sex he’s ever had, that’s for sure. He really has no idea what to say, though.

Croissant is sitting in the doorway, eyeing them both suspiciously. Levi can feel her judging them.

“So,” Erwin starts, setting his cup down. “What happens now?”

“I don’t know,” Levi admits. He takes a sip of his tea. “You do this more than I do, you tell me.”

“I mean… unless you’d like me to go, perhaps we could put on a movie?” Erwin’s eyebrows wriggle suggestively. It’s stupid, and lame, and annoyingly cute. “And not watch it?”

And that’s how they find themselves back on Levi’s couch, making out lazily with some shitty rom-com that Erwin chose playing on the TV.

Erwin is exactly the right size for Levi to be far too comfortable lying on top of him. He’s big enough to wrap himself almost completely around Levi’s body. He feels oddly secure.

He’s also the perfect size, it seems, for Croissant to insert herself directly in-between them, pushing her little head between the two of them and lying down directly on Erwin’s chest. She starts purring immediately, flexing her claws in Erwin’s shirt, and flicking Levi with her tail.

“Oh wow,” Levi says, sitting up and crossing his arms. “Are you some kind of cat hypnotist or something?”

Erwin laughs, scratching Croissant behind the ears. “I guess she just likes me.”

Levi scoffs. “The little bitch doesn’t like anyone except my dumbshit housemate,” he replies. “She doesn’t even like me that much.”

“That’s surprising, you’re very pleasant,” Erwin replies, smiling cheekily. The joke is obvious behind his eyes and toothy smile.

“If my stupid cat wasn’t between us right now, I’d kick your ass.”

Erwin laughs, a bright and hearty sound that rumbles deep in his chest and startles Croissant. She merely looks at him in alarm for a moment, and then goes back to purring. He continues to fuss over her, making little kissy faces and squishing her face delicately in his hands. “You are so cute,” he coos, wrapping his arms around her gently and pulling her closer to his chest.

All Levi can really do is just watch as his Grindr hook-up, still in just his underwear and a T-shirt, gives his cat more attention than him. He can’t help but smile a little bit to himself, though, as he watches Erwin interacting with Croissant. It’s actually pretty endearing, in a way.

“I think someone’s in love,” Levi comments. He watches for a little bit longer, before his erection starts to go down and he gets a little too impatient. “Okay, time’s up. Shove her off and pay attention to me again.”

Erwin rubs his nose lovingly against Croissant’s forehead and picks her up, putting her down on the carpet. She looks disappointed, but opts for staring up at them instead of jumping up again. He looks back up at Levi and wets his lips, pulling him down with a large hand on the back of his neck.

It’s not until after half a movie, two more rounds, and a few episodes of Friends later, that Erwin yawns loudly, stretching his arms over his head.

“It’s late,” Levi observes. The clock above the TV reads somewhere after 2 AM. He really wasn’t intending for Erwin to stay for so long, but part of him really didn’t want him to leave. If anyone asks him, he’ll probably say that hormones were compelling him to let Erwin stay – it has been a while since he’s had any kind of sex, after all. But the truth is that he actually just really likes spending time with him.

“Yeah,” Erwin replies slowly.

“You’re probably too tired to drive home.”

“I guess I am, yeah.” Erwin’s eyebrow rises, waiting.

Levi looks down at his hands, scraping at an invisible speck on his thumbnail. “So maybe you should stay for the night. Y’know. So you don’t fall asleep at the wheel and die.”

Erwin huffs out a laugh. “That sounds good to me.”

Levi stands up, rubbing at his tired eyes with his sleeve. He reaches out his hand sheepishly, and leads Erwin into his bedroom – Croissant following close by.

“Just don’t leave in the middle of the night and steal my shit,” Levi grumbles. “I’ll know.”

When Levi wakes up at 9 AM in the morning (which is uncharacteristically late for him), he’s almost shocked that Erwin is still in the bed with him. For some reason, he kind of expected him to get up and disappear during the night. He doesn’t seem like the type, but there’s always the possibility. And of course, Croissant is curled up on the pillow, right next to his head, and snoring quietly.

He sits up in bed and watches them for a little bit. While Croissant is a bit of a cuddle bug sometimes, she’s never really connected with anyone as quickly as she seems to be connecting with Erwin. Even when Isabel brought her home as a rescue kitten – it took her a couple of months to get to this point. What’s so special about Erwin, then?

Levi is almost tempted to take a photo of the two for Isabel, but he really doesn’t want to be that guy who takes weird creepy photos of his hook-ups. He also doesn’t even want to think about all the questions and comments she’ll have for him. Knowing her, she’d be on the first train back, just to get a glimpse at Erwin. No, it’s probably better he keeps this to himself. She’ll inevitably find out eventually, though.

Erwin shifts and groans in his sleep, and Levi startles, whipping his head the other way. He quietly crawls out of bed and retreats into his en suite, closing the door carefully behind him. He busies himself with brushing his teeth, keeping an ear out in case Erwin stirs more.

He has no idea what he’s going to do when Erwin wakes up. He supposes he should make him breakfast and tea, and then what? Would it be rude to ask him to leave after that? He could always use work as an excuse if he needs to.

Levi sits on the side of the bathtub for a little bit, eyeing the spiderweb in the corner of his ceiling with disgust. It’s been there for a few weeks, but he doesn’t have the heart to get rid of it while there’s a spider still living there. After all, she keeps the flies out.

He sighs loudly and gets up, leaving the bathroom quietly. Erwin is sitting up in bed with Croissant, stroking her back quietly. Unfazed by Levi’s re-entrance, she rolls over onto her back, purring loudly as Erwin rubs her belly.

“Wow, you have her so whipped,” Levi observes.

Erwin smiles up at Levi. “I guess I just have the magic touch or something.”

Levi lingers in the doorway, shuffling his feet. He watches as Erwin leans over and presses his face into Croissant’s chest, scratching her cheeks. It’s stupidly cute, and Levi hates it.

“Um, so,” Levi starts. “Sleep well?” He cringes. Small talk really isn’t his thing, obviously.

Erwin sits up, smiling handsomely up at Levi. “I did, thank you.”

Levi sits down on the edge of the bed, reaching out to Croissant and softly petting her head. She looks up at him, looking downright offended that he’d even dare to look at her right now. In one swift motion, she flips over and bolts out of the room, sprinting down the hallway at full speed.

They both sit in silence, avoiding eye contact like the plague. Or, at least Levi avoids it. When he finally looks up at Erwin, he’s looking right back at him. His cheeks turn hot.

It’s not long until Erwin is pushing him down into the mattress and slowly kissing his way down Levi’s chest. His mouth is hot and wet when he takes him all the way down.

Levi makes both of them breakfast and they eat quietly in the kitchen, exchanging casual small talk every now and then. Erwin is a sous chef. He has no siblings, both of his parents are dead, and he lives alone. He likes dogs more than cats, but cats are cool, too.

They both have such regular, boring lives. No wonder Erwin is so freaky in bed.

Erwin puts his empty teacup down carefully and stretches, groaning loudly as he does. “I have to go,” he starts. Levi deflates a little, strangely disappointed. Erwin continues, “I’d really like to see you again, though.”

“I’d like that too.”

They say an awkward goodbye to each other at the door. Levi gives Erwin his phone number with a shy, “Call me whenever,” and watches as Erwin gets in his car and drives away.

Croissant sits by the door for most of the day.

Levi: I think you broke my cat.

Erwin: Oh?

The image Levi attaches is of Croissant, sleeping right next to the front door.

Levi: She’s been here since you left yesterday.

Erwin: I guess she misses me!

He also replies with a dorky laughing emote, and seriously Levi is so close to just blocking him. What is he, eighty-five?

Levi: My housemate came home, and the cat barely even looked at her. Usually, you can’t keep them away from each other.

Erwin: Oops! :)

Levi: She might get too lovesick, so you might have to come over again soon, maybe.

Levi physically cringes after hitting send on that one. This sort of weird flirting thing is new to him, but he quite likes Erwin. He never knew how enjoyable slightly awkward non-conversations and really good sex could actually be. It’s enjoyable enough to actually let himself talk like this, he supposes.

Erwin: Just tell me when

When Erwin comes over for the second time that Tuesday afternoon, he immediately scoops Croissant up into his arms and rocks her in his arms, pressing little kisses onto her forehead. She squirms in his arms until he loosens his grip and climbs up onto his shoulders.

Isabel slides up next to Levi, eyeing them both curiously. “Wow, I thought he was joking,” she comments, eyes wide. “But there she is, happy as a peach.”

They go through the weird introductory stage as fast as they can. Luckily, Isabel and Erwin are both rays of fucking sunshine, so they get along really easily, readily going into a full conversation about Croissant while Levi stands there awkwardly. They don’t talk for too long – Croissant is far too insistent on Erwin’s full attention for that – and soon move to the kitchen. The plan is for Erwin to cook dinner, Isabel to “have a nosy at her big bro’s new man” (her words), and Levi to suffer eternally until she finally leaves them alone.

Isabel sits herself down on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, resting her chin in her hands and looking between Levi and Erwin. She’s smiling uncontrollably at them, and it’s seriously creeping Levi out. She makes a happy little noise when Erwin sets Croissant down in her lap. Surprisingly, she settles right down, staring back at Erwin with big eyes.

Isabel and Erwin get back into their easy conversation, with Levi chiming in every now and then, while Erwin gets to work. He’s making vegan spaghetti and meatballs, as per Isabel’s request. Levi and Isabel half-play Scrabble while they wait, and Croissant eventually jumps down from her lap in favour of following Erwin around the kitchen – nearly tripping him up every five minutes.

It’s getting dark outside by the time Erwin finishes. Levi pours them all a glass of wine each, and they eat at the dining table.

Surprisingly to himself, Levi finds himself really enjoying himself. Erwin and Isabel seem to get along really well, which is good. He probably wouldn’t be able to see him anymore if she didn’t like him. It’s not exactly hard to get Isabel to like you, so if she doesn’t like someone, there must really be something wrong with them – especially if they’re willing to make dinner. And enough for leftovers, at that.

“God, you should cook for us every day,” Isabel groans, shoving her clear plate forwards. “I will give you Levi’s entire paycheque to be the head chef at Casa de Levi and Isabel.”

Erwin laughs, scratching his neck and blushing bashfully. “Oh, well…” he trails off, glancing at Levi, who just shrugs. “In that case, I’d quit my job in a heartbeat. I’ll even cook dinners for little Croissant here.” He looks down at her, where she insisted on curling up on his lap while they ate. She’s usually not allowed to be at the dinner table while they eat, but… well, Levi couldn’t exactly say no to all three of them, could he?

Isabel claps her hands together and looks at Levi with mock-pleading eyes, jutting out her bottom lip. “Oh please, Levi, can we keep him?”

Levi raises an eyebrow and pretends to think about it for a moment. He might as well play along. “I guess so, but only if you promise to clean up after him.”

Next to him, Erwin chuckles quietly. He reaches over subtly and places a hand on Levi’s knee under the table. Levi nearly jumps out of his skin, but manages to disguise it as shifting in his seat. His hand shifts, moving upwards slowly and eventually settling again high up on his thigh. When he glances at Erwin, all he gets is a small, polite smile.

Isabel grins hugely at Erwin, leaning forwards. “Looks like you’re staying here forever, then.”

“You’ll have to help me pack a bag,” he counters, somehow smiling back with the same intensity as Isabel. All while slowly sliding his hand between Levi’s thighs. When he opens his legs a little bit more, almost instinctively, Erwin’s hand moves further forwards. He rubs Levi through his jeans slowly, and Levi feels himself hardening, and okay, okay, okay.

Levi jumps up, completely startling Croissant and causing her to wriggle off of Erwin’s lap and shoot off out of the kitchen. “I’ll clean up,” he blurts out. He busies himself with taking all of the plates and empty wine glasses to the sink. Erwin looks up at Levi as he takes his plate, one eyebrow raised in concern. He smiles minutely, just to assure him that everything’s okay.

He cleans the dishes as quickly as he can manage whilst still being as meticulous as he usually is, and Erwin and Isabel continue their casual conversation quietly amongst themselves. He dries off his hands and turns around, tossing the handtowel at Isabel’s head. “Alright, fuck off now, it’s my turn.”

Isabel stands up abruptly and throws the towel back at him, missing completely. She’s smiling. “Alright, Mr. Grumpy Bones, I’m going!” She turns to Erwin on her way out and gives a little wave. “It was nice to meet you, I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, you too!”

She turns back just before she leaves the room and stares Levi down, her eyes saying, “Don’t you dare fuck in the kitchen,” in every way.

Levi huffs and slowly walks towards Erwin, waiting until he hears Isabel close her bedroom door behind her until he finally throws one leg over Erwin’s legs and climbs into his lap. “That was pretty mean,” he tells him, quiet and under his breath. He grazes his lips lightly against Erwin’s cheek, feeling him shudder.

“What was?” Erwin asks, smirking slyly.

“You know.” He nudges Erwin’s lips gently; not kissing him yet, but teasing. He puts a hand on Erwin’s cheek, using his thumb to part his lips and open up his mouth, and Erwin chases Levi’s tongue with his own.

They finally kiss, Erwin sighing contently and wrapping his arms perfectly around Levi’s waist. “Which one’s your bedroom again?” Erwin’s words come out as a whisper against Levi’s lips. They kiss again, and Erwin pulls Levi even closer, their chests pressing together. He slides his arms down and heaves both him and Levi up in one movement.

Levi’s legs wrap around Erwin’s waist, clinging to him like his life depends on it. “First door on the left down the corridor, make it quick.”

They have their first kind-of-but-really-not date on the following Friday.

It starts with Isabel harassing Levi from the second he gets home from work about how they “absolutely must go out tonight!” As much as he hates to admit it, Levi has never really been able to say no to her – and she knows it, too. That’s why there are photos of them all over the house, and a cat called Croissant.

Levi plays along and protests weakly for all of two minutes before giving in; she really does have him wrapped around her little finger. He feigns annoyance as he trudges to the bathroom to shower, just for the drama of it all. Truth is, they haven’t really had a night out together for a while. She’s been working pretty hard recently, and she deserves to have a nice time.

Levi showers as quickly and as thoroughly as he can manage without Isabel knocking the door down. He barely gets his underwear on before she’s barging into his bedroom and insisting that he dress up, immediately digging through his wardrobe to find him a shirt. She throws a dark blue button-down with white flowers to him – a shirt that she had gifted to him a few months ago after receiving her first paycheque. Levi isn’t really a flowers person at all, but it’s his favourite shirt. He’s allowed to be a sentimental bitch every once and a while.

Isabel pretty much forces him into a pair of inappropriately tight dress pants and pats him sweetly on the cheek. “So handsome!”

He shrugs her off of him, his cheeks growing warm. “Yeah yeah, get ready, and let’s fuckin’ go.”

She orders them both an Uber into the city – with one stop on the way to pick Farlan up – and walks them so quickly to the bar that she’s practically running. They end up in a fancy-looking underground cocktail lounge on the main street. It’s not quite dark out yet, and the clouds are grey and dense with rain. It had rained for most of the day already, but it didn’t seem like it would stop any time soon. Inside, there’s dim, warm lighting from the little chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, swing music playing on the speakers, and a lit fireplace. The whole nine yards.

They’re escorted to a small booth in the corner and given a couple of food and drink menus. Farlan and Levi go into a conversation about their respective days at work while Isabel immediately snatches up the menus and pours over them.

It’s been far too long since Levi and Farlan last caught up properly, but they fly back into comfortable conversation with ease. The three of them have a lot to talk about, especially after a couple of drinks each.

Levi gets up after a while to use the bathroom, slash buy the next round, slash flirt awkwardly with the stupidly cute bartender while he makes their drinks. When he walks back to their table, there are noticeably a couple more strawberries in the glasses than usual. He supposes that’s all he’ll get from his weird flirty banter, but he’s okay with that. He admires the professionality more than he cares for getting his number.

He barely sits back down and starts up the conversation again before Isabel gasps loudly, squirming in her seat. “Erwin’s here!” she squeaks, far too loudly, and pointing at the other side of the restaurant.

And yep. There he is. Of course, she invited him.

Levi hides behind his drink and watches as Erwin rushes over, all handsome and tall and button-up shirt tucked in with the sleeves rolled up and a stupid navy tie, and who even gave him the right to look that good?

“God, sorry I’m late,” Erwin says hurriedly. “We were late with closing, and then I got stuck in some traffic, and then I had to go home and change, and –”

Isabel cuts him off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t worry about it!” She stands up from her seat next to Levi and pats the now-vacant chair. “Sit! I’ll get you a drink – the espresso martinis here are so good.”

She runs off to the bar before Erwin can get another word in, let alone protest to her spending money on him.

There’s a long beat of weird, awkward silence before Farlan sticks his hand out, switching from awkward to his usual friendly self in a split second. “You’re Erwin, then,” he remarks.

Erwin shakes Farlan’s hand. “And you must be Farlan,” he counters. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Isabel.”

“Likewise,” Farlan responds, not without taking a not-so-subtle glance at Levi and raising his eyebrows suggestively. It takes every bit of strength in Levi’s being not to throw his drink straight at him. Instead, he just chews on his flimsy paper straw and grunts in acknowledgement.

“I think you just might be Isabel’s new favourite person,” Farlan continues. “She’s already completely smitten.”

Right on cue, Isabel gently places two espresso martinis down onto the table, before sitting down heavily herself next to Farlan. “If you and Levi split up, I’m totally swooping in and making you my housewife,” she jokes. “I do love some good home cooking.”

Erwin laughs nervously and sips his drink. “Well, I mean… There isn’t really anything to split up,” he adds in, glancing warily at Levi. “So… I suppose I could be your housewife whenever, then.”

All Levi can do is stare down into his drink and fidget with his hands. It is true that they aren’t actually together, but there’s something about the way Erwin said it, just like that - and he sounded so sure about it. For some reason, it hurt.

Levi tries so hard not to wear his emotions on his sleeve. Everyone who’s known him for more than a minute knows that he’d rather shove his head into a spider web than show his emotions, but that hit him differently for some reason. Perhaps it’s just the fact that he was always under the impression that there was something to split up – they’ve been seeing each other regularly for a while – longer than anyone has ever wanted to be around Levi for, other than Isabel and Farlan. Does Erwin actually think that way, or is he saying it because he thinks that’s what Levi thinks?

The thought of that, and coupled with the fact that Isabel didn’t even mention that he was coming, sends his brain into overload. He listens to Isabel and Farlan continue to talk at Erwin, until the staticky feeling in his brain starts to become too much and he downs the rest of his drink in one go. “Excuse me,” he says, getting up on wobbly legs and high tailing it to the bathroom as fast as he can.

He washes his hands once. And again. And then once more, for his own peace of mind.

Levi sighs and stares at himself in the mirror – at his tired, sunken-in eyes; the dryness of his lips and the paleness of his skin; his messy, dark hair. Every part of his brain is screaming at him. That he’s not good enough for Erwin; that he’s just going to leave him at the first chance he gets. It shouldn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, just let it play out. His throat is dry, but he swallows down his anxiety and turns the tap on again, frantically dispensing soap onto his hand.

Two men enter the bathroom, chatting obnoxiously loudly with each other, and Levi uses it as an opportunity to escape back to their table. Nobody says anything, thank God¸ but Isabel slowly pushes a pink cocktail in a jar towards him. She gives him her best puppy-dog eyes, and he forgives her instantly. Of course he does.

His heartbeat thumps loudly in his ears as he sits down next to Erwin. He’s good at acting natural, so he warily hooks his foot around Erwin’s calf and puts a hand down on his thigh. He gets a warm smile in return, and Erwin leans in closer.

“So… Isabel didn’t mention that I was coming, then,” Erwin starts, quietly.

“No, she didn’t.”

“She said that she’s sorry for making you uncomfortable,” he offers.

Levi sighs. “Yeah, I know she is. She just got a bit carried away.”

Erwin raises an eyebrow at him. “There’s not much she can’t get away with with you, huh?” He sounds surprised, as if he hasn’t been in the same room as both of them at once. It’s laughably obvious how lenient Levi is with Isabel. She could come home with a whole litter of kittens, and he’d let her keep all of them if it would make her happy.

Of course, he wouldn’t actually tell her that, because she’d probably come home with a box full of cats the next day. But the sentiment is still there.

Levi shrugs passively. “She’s like a little sister to me,” he explains. “It’d be very un-big-brotherly of me to not let her get away with everything.”

That seems to make Erwin smile. “That’s really sweet.”

They sip their drinks together, in a silence that’s comfortable but still so painfully awkward.

Across the table, Isabel and Farlan are arguing over a basket of sweet potato fries – Farlan keeps stealing all of the crispy ones before Isabel can even look at them, how dare he. They’re both laughing about it, but Levi really wouldn’t be surprised if Isabel jumped over the table and started clawing at him.

Levi stays mostly quiet for the next hour or so, only chiming in on conversation every now and then. He just sits and sips on cocktail after cocktail, sinking into a fuzzy haze. By the time everyone starts to get ready to leave, his cheeks are numb, and it takes him a good few seconds to stand up on his shaky legs.

“We should head home before I spend all of my money,” Isabel sighs, pulling her coat over her shoulders.

Erwin slowly stands up and looks around at them, unsure what to do with himself. Isabel hooks her arm around Erwin’s and pulls herself close to his side.

“Come back to ours,” she says, looking up at him. “I have some wine left, and you can stay the night.” She turns to Levi. God, she knows he can’t resist her stupid puppy-dog eyes. “Right?”

Levi shrugs, acting as nonchalant as he can. “Sounds good.”

Erwin smiles, “Sounds good to me, too.”

It’s not long until Isabel is wine-drunk and singing and swaying around the kitchen with Croissant huddled securely to her chest, whilst Levi, Erwin, and Farlan play Uno at the table. It’s definitely not Levi’s game of choice – not by a long shot. He’s unnecessarily competitive and impatient, and everyone knows that when you mix that with Uno, friendships get destroyed and someone ends up crying. He sits there, grumpy as ever and holding about fifteen cards, and glares at Farlan from across the table. He somehow managed to get all of the pick up four and reversal cards, completely fucking Levi over, because he’s a fucking coward who doesn’t even dare target the new guy.

“Fucking hell Is, it’s your turn,” Levi groans, picking up her hand and throwing it at her weakly. The cards flutter down around her and land softly at her feet.

“Noooo, no cards. Time to dance with the baby.” The baby, who is actually a four-year-old adult cat, seems content to just sit in her arms and be swayed.

Erwin looks on with amusement. It’s the first time since they got home that Croissant hasn’t stuck to Erwin like glue. (Although, she did get a bit upset about being stolen from her comfortable perch on his lap.)

“My turn, then!” Farlan says. He’s far too excited, Levi notices. And… yep, another pick up two card. Yet again, Levi doesn’t have anything to refute it with. He grumbles in annoyance as he picks up another two. He’s so getting his ass beaten later.

Next to him, Erwin takes his turn, happily exclaiming, “Uno!” as he sets down a yellow reversal card.

Levi throws his card onto the pile unceremoniously, and then Farlan takes his turn, and ultimately, Erwin is declared the winner.

“Thank fuck that’s over,” Levi hisses, dropping the rest of his cards onto the table. “I forgot that you’re an asshole.”

Farlan laughs happily. “Not my fault you’re bad at Uno.”

“I will punch you, and you know I will,” Levi challenges, standing up. It’s all just casual banter, and they both know that he probably wouldn’t punch Farlan. (Probably.)

“Let’s go, then!” Farlan jumps to his feet, puffing out his chest comically. He moves into an open space and beckons at Levi, planting his feet down firmly on the ground and bracing himself.

Erwin looks alarmed, but he doesn’t say anything. He just watches quietly as Levi lets out a (reasonably volumed) war cry and immediately pounces on Farlan like a cat. Their actual cat squirms out of Isabel’s arms and bolts off out of the kitchen. They wrestle with each other, and it’s like they’re kids again. Except much less messy, and more… two men who are getting way too old for wrestling.

Levi manages to pin Farlan down, jamming his hands under his shirt and wriggling them against his sides. He tickles Farlan until he’s a mess of laughter and surprisingly high-pitched noises, thrashing around and begging him to stop.

“It’s like watching two puppies fight,” Erwin remarks amusedly. He steps back cautiously when Levi’s head whips around to look at him.

“You wanna go too, big boy?”

Erwin raises an eyebrow at him. “You really think you could take me down?” he challenges. He thinks for a second before adding a wary sounding, “Short stuff?”

Isabel and Farlan gasp dramatically. “You didn’t,” Isabel laughed.

Levi gets up rather ungracefully and starts towards Erwin, flipping his hair out of his face and cracking his knuckles. Erwin doesn’t seem to be too worried by his “boy on the streets” intimidation tactic. He seems confident that Levi won’t actually hurt him or anything, but they both know that Levi is stronger than he looks.

Levi is also a lot quicker than he looks, too, and he manages to dodge around Erwin and jump up onto his back. He uses all of his weight to clumsily pull Erwin down onto the ground, rolling him over onto his back and throwing a leg over his body to straddle him. Isabel cheers for him enthusiastically. Even though Erwin’s tipsy state makes it a lot easier to take him down, he still huffs in triumph at his win.

“I wasn’t expecting you to actually be able to do it,” Erwin observes. He subtly places a hand on Levi’s thigh, stroking it gently. “I stand corrected.”

Levi grumbles under his breath nervously, his face warm and flushed. He moves to stand up and Erwin strikes, wrapping his arms around Levi and flipping him over onto the ground. The impact knocks the wind out of Levi’s lungs a little bit, and he gasps for breath.

“You dirty bitch,” Levi hisses, immediately struggling to regain control. Erwin just laughs and sits down heavily on his thighs, restricting his movement.

Erwin shrugs, grabbing Levi’s hands and pinning them down by his head. “You don’t win by playing nice and following rules.”

Levi sticks up his nose at Erwin, giving him his best annoyed face.

All he gets in return is a big grin as Erwin leans down, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose. “For such an angry little man, you sure are cute,” he points out.

From the kitchen, Farlan fakes gagging sounds. “I’m going to throw up, stop it.” Isabel giggles next to him.

Just to be rude, Erwin leans down and kisses Levi properly, laughing against his mouth. And what kind of person would Levi be if he didn’t kiss him back?

It happens slowly, but eventually, Erwin ends up spending most of his time at Levi and Isabel’s place. It started as one or two times a week, but then Levi suggests that it could be nice if Erwin spent a weekend there. After that, his toothbrush starts making an appearance in the bathroom, and Levi finds at least three pairs of his underwear in his wardrobe. They go to work at the same time, Levi comes home, and then he and Croissant just sit and wait for Erwin to come back a couple of hours. Sometimes it feels like years, but he doesn’t think too far into that.

Levi isn’t entirely sure what it is that keeps Erwin coming back. It could be that he gets along with Isabel really well. Both her and Croissant seem to follow him around wherever he goes. He comes home one day to all three of them asleep on the couch, some cheesy TV show playing in the background. He tries not to feel too jealous about their bond, because he and Erwin do still spend plenty of time alone together. But Levi just seems to struggle to connect with people in the same way that Isabel has always been able to, and he’s always been uncomfortably insecure about that.

Awkward lapses in conversation slowly turn into comfortable silences, though, and slowly but surely, it gets easier.

It’s hard for Levi to believe that someone like Erwin could genuinely like him, sometimes. He wouldn’t exactly brand himself as someone who’s easy to tolerate, never mind actually like. But apparently Erwin, who is relentlessly pleasant to be around and far easier to get along with than Levi is himself, really, actually, genuinely likes him.

Levi brushes his teeth and stares at Erwin’s razor, sitting on the side of the sink. It’s just sitting there, like it pays rent or something. And it should annoy him, but it doesn’t. Erwin is very slowly invading his home, his social life, his thoughts. Surprisingly, he’s okay with it. What started out as a hook-up and then really good casual sex is now… a friendship, he guesses. The sex is still good too, which is a bonus.

He sighs and puts his toothbrush back in its holder. What is he turning into?

They don’t see each other for about two weeks, making sure to text every now and then and communicate through Isabel. Even Levi will admit that it gets a little sad around the house without Erwin around. Croissant goes all around the house trying to find him, and Levi feels bad enough for her that he lets her sleep in his bed for a couple of nights.

Levi comes home on Thursday night from what is turning out to be his longest and most exhausting week in a long time. He fully intends on just lying on the kitchen floor with his cat for the next few hours and disintegrating into a pile of sand. He groans, hanging his work bag up on the hook by the front door, and heads towards the kitchen. The smell of sautéing onions gets stronger the closer he gets, accompanied by some faint pop song on the radio. “God, Isabel, I swear,” he starts, “if another one of the assholes I work with tests me, I’m going to start punching.”

He rounds the corner into the kitchen, only to be met by broad shoulders and blond hair. He blinks at Erwin, standing at the stove with Levi’s stupid old apron on. It’s pink, with big black letters on that front that invite you to kiss the cook. It’s also about two sizes too small on Erwin, and Levi has to work hard to suppress his laughter. “My, Isabel, you sure do look different today, did you cut your hair?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Erwin replies, turning back to the stove. “She let me in and went out for the night.”

“Right,” Levi says, suspicious. He approaches the kitchen island cautiously. Croissant is sitting on one of the stools, flicking her fluffy tail and watching Erwin intently. He sits on the stool next to her and reaches over to pet her head.

“I mean,” Erwin continues, pushing the contents of the pan around slowly, “she told me you were having a bad week and invited me over. Y’know, to help make you feel better.”

While he has never met them, Levi knows that Erwin has friends of his own. Which, as Levi understands it, loosely translates to having something better to do with his time. He doesn’t say that, though, because the last time he brought it up, Erwin just looked really sad and said, “What could be better than this?” Levi felt guilty for a whole week after that.

“I have this whole thing planned for tonight, so you can just go sit down and relax,” Erwin explains, reaching over to turn the kettle on. “I’ll bring a cup of tea out for you.”

Levi starts to protest, but Erwin gives him a look of pure don’t even try that’s somehow scary enough to scare Levi, of all people, into just shutting up and following instructions.

He heads into the living room, taking off his blazer on the way and folding it up neatly, placing it carefully on one of the armchairs. He throws himself down onto the couch, clicking the on button on the TV remote. He doesn’t really indulge himself on TV at all, but flips the channel until he lands on the opening song of this soap opera that he and Isabel started watching ages ago. She slowly lost interest and stopped watching, but Levi still catches up on it every now and then.

Erwin comes in and sets a mug down on the coffee table, taking care to put a coaster down first. Levi watches as he meticulously shifts the coaster around until it’s in the exact spot (more or less) that Levi puts it every time he uses it. He softly kisses Levi on the forehead on his way out, having said nothing about his evening TV viewing choices – Levi sighs in relief at that.

Levi takes a big gulp of his tea and sits back. He swims in and out of consciousness for a little bit, only half paying attention to his show. It’s been such a long and shitty week that he can’t even watch his favourite soap opera for longer than ten minutes without just wanting to fall asleep immediately.

The next thing he knows, Erwin is standing over Levi and gently shaking his shoulder. “Dinner’s ready,” he says softly when Levi opens his eyes.

Levi groans and crawls off of the couch, still half asleep. His soap’s credits sequence is playing on the TV, so at least he hasn’t been asleep for too long. He follows Erwin to the dining room, yawning obnoxiously loudly as he trails slowly behind him. “Thanks for making dinner,” he mumbles. “I’m so exhausted, I probably would’ve forgotten to eat again.”

Erwin laughs quietly. “Yeah, Isabel mentioned that you haven’t been eating properly.”

“Figures,” Levi sighs, sitting down at the table. There’s a big bowl of spaghetti bolognese (with real meat) in front of him, and a big loaf of garlic bread in the middle of the table. “Oh God,” he moans, reaching straight for the end piece of the loaf. “I am so in love.”

He doesn’t even try to back-peddle on that – he just immediately blocks it out of his memories and shoves the entire slice of garlic bread into his mouth at once. Thankfully, Erwin just sits down and doesn’t mention it at all, looking noticeably redder in the face.

Levi scarfs down his dinner in record time, downing an entire glass of water afterwards. “You’re too good at this,” he sighs. “Maybe you should be our live-in chef.”

“I’m sure Isabel will be very happy to hear that,” Erwin replies. “And Croissant, of course. She was absolutely screaming at me when I got here.”

“Stupid fucking cat.” Levi says it with all of the love he can muster. After all, they’re not that dissimilar when it comes to Erwin these days – always wanting to spend time with each other. He almost rolls his eyes at himself – he’s turned into such a fucking sap, it almost makes him sick.

They sit there for a little longer while Erwin finishes his own dinner, keeping up quiet casual conversation. Levi slowly eats away at the rest of the garlic bread, despite having eaten way too much and way too quickly. The bread is just so good, though, that he can’t resist.

Erwin takes their plates to the kitchen and gets to tidying up. Levi rests his chin in his hands and watches him work. He cleans up thoroughly and efficiently, and fuck, Levi should not be as turned on by that as he is – and yet…

Before he fully realises he’s doing it, Levi gets up from his seat and approaches Erwin, turning him around and kissing him straight on the lips. Between the tea, dinner, cleaning up afterwards, and just being here in general – Levi just can’t resist. He has always been independent, never relying on anyone, but letting Erwin look after him for just one night is just so refreshing.

Levi pulls back slowly and watches as Erwin stands there with his eyes still closed and his lips still parted and looking so beautiful; and before he can stop it, a little voice in his mind says, “Fuck, I’m in love with you.”

“Oh,” he says, out loud. It’s the first time he’s ever allowed himself to think about it. It slipped out, really – he’s been in denial about it for months now, shoving any thought even beginning with L deep into a little locked box in his mind.

Erwin opens his eyes and raises an eyebrow. He replies with a quiet, “Oh?” in return.

Levi laughs nervously, pulling away and backing the fuck up and out of Erwin’s general vicinity as fast as he can. He’s suddenly sweating buckets, and he can feel it sliding down his back – taunting him. “Oh!” he repeats. “Would you just look at the time.” He pulls his sleeve up to reveal his watch-less wrist. “I should go take a shower.”

Erwin looks conflicted for a second, cocking his head to the side like a confused dog, but he suddenly perks up and reaches out to grab Levi’s arm before he can run off to the bathroom. Any reaction to Levi’s sudden weirdness is thrown out the window as a shy smile spreads across his face. “Wait here a minute. I was going to draw you a bath as a nice surprise.” He pauses. “Well, I suppose it’s not much of a surprise now, but…”

“Oh,” Levi says again. He cringes at his overuse of the word and digs his nails into his palm, cursing this ridiculous gay panic. “That sounds good.”

Erwin happily trots off towards the bathroom, leaving Levi to stand around awkwardly in the kitchen. It’s almost too good. Dinner and a bath wouldn’t exactly be the most luxurious thing in the world in a lot of people’s eyes, but the most that Levi has ever gotten in terms of – he guesses – romantic gestures, is a one-night stand ordering food to his house after sex.

Erwin is making things very difficult for him, indeed.

While he’s in the kitchen, Levi busies himself with feeding Croissant for the night. The spoilt little cat meows loudly at his feet as he’s tipping a tin of Fancy Feast onto her plate. He puts the plate down for her and she immediately goes for it, scarfing the entire thing down in record time. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was being starved to death.

Levi squats down next to Croissant and strokes her back while she eats. It must be nice to be a cat, he thinks. Sitting around all day, not having to go to work or file taxes. Or deal with the feelings that you’ve been repressing for your friend-with-benefits, that have now reared their ugly little head despite how far you try to shove them down.

Not that Levi is bitter about it or anything.

Erwin calls out to him from the bathroom, and Levi gives Croissant one final scratch under the chin before he heads off to the bathroom.

He’s not sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t a bathroom filled to the brim with candles, a portable speaker playing quiet classical music, and a bath full of bubbles. Erwin is sitting down on the edge of the toilet lid, looking nervous as all hell.

It’s romantic, that’s for sure.

And all Levi can do is just start laughing. To make it worse, the sad, dejected look on Erwin’s face just makes him laugh even more. “Oh, God- Erwin, no, don’t worry,” he huffs. “This is really lovely, I swear.”

He’s not sure he’s ever referred to anything as lovely before in his life, but he’s being truthful. He forces his face back into a neutral expression and crosses over to the other side of the bedroom in a couple of strides, taking Erwin’s face in his hands and kissing him. “Really. Thank you.”

Levi starts to undress himself, placing his folded clothes in a neat, ordered pile on the counter by the sink. He can feel Erwin’s eyes burning into him as he takes off his underwear, and then even hotter still as he steps carefully into the bathtub and sinks down into the water. He sighs, and closes his eyes, and suddenly all of the stupid shit from the past week melts away in a mix of green tea scented bubble bath and vanilla candles. Fuck, it feels good.

“Are you going to join me or just sit there and stare at me like a creep for an hour?” Levi asks, rolling his head to face Erwin.

Erwin is hardly able to hold his excitement as he gets to his feet, taking his clothes off in record time. Levi sits forwards so that Erwin can slip into the tub behind him. The tub is pretty big, but Erwin still has to bend his knees to be able to sit in it. It’s still comfortable though, and Levi lets Erwin wrap his arms around his waist and pull him back against his chest.

With Erwin’s lips pressing little kisses against his cheeks and his fingers stroking little circles on his ribs – this may be the most relaxed he’s ever been.

After they get out of the bath and dry off, Erwin leads Levi to the bedroom. As if dinner and a bath weren’t enough, he gets Levi to lie naked and face-down on the bed for a massage. Erwin puts down a towel, brings a couple of candles in from the bathroom and sits, also naked, on the back of Levi’s knees.

The massage oil is cold as it drips onto his back, but it smells like coconut and it soon warms up when Erwin’s large hands glide up from the base of his spine to his shoulders. His entire body feels like it’s melting into the sheets as Erwin works out some of the most egregious knots in his shoulders and neck.

Levi sighs contentedly. “You better not have anything else planned. This is already so much.”

“This is the last thing,” Erwin chuckles. He leans over Levi’s body, pressing his chest against his back and kissing the back of his neck, and moving a short distance down his spine. “I promise.”

All Levi can do whilst Erwin is massaging his entire body is just lie there and moan quietly. He’s not really the type of guy to get massages, so he doesn’t have anything to compare it to, but Erwin does a damn good job at it. It’s hard for him to believe that anyone could do any better – especially when Erwin lightly presses his fingers between the tops of Levi’s thighs, sliding them up and cupping his buttocks firmly in his hands. From that point on, Levi is almost painfully hard.

He starts to squirm in his spot – not out of discomfort or anything, but pure anticipation. It’s obviously turning out to be one of those sorts of massages; especially with Erwin’s erection pressing firmly between his thighs. Levi isn’t exactly complaining about it, but Erwin sure is taking his sweet time to move onto anything further.

“Okay,” Erwin mumbles, sitting up on his knees a little bit. “Turn around.”

Levi flips himself over, raising his arms up to cover his eyes. Erwin applies more oil onto his hands and Levi can’t help but sigh as his hands move up his stomach and press into his chest. His gentle fingers circle Levi’s nipples, and God, he’s never felt so sensitive there in his life. He gasps loudly and arches his back when Erwin finally brushes the pads of his thumbs over them.

“Fuck, fuck,” Levi hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. His cock is throbbing and leaking against his stomach. Thankfully, Erwin decides not to tease him too much this time and goes straight into slowly moving his palm up the shaft of Levi’s cock before loosely wrapping his hand around it. He uses his other hand to nudge Levi’s legs apart and rub against his inner thighs, eventually sliding down between his cheeks to caress his perineum. It almost feels like too much stimulation, but in a good way. Honestly, he feels a little cheated that none of the hand jobs he’s ever received have felt like this.

Erwin’s hands speed up, his fingers inching further down to press and rub up against his entrance. Levi draws in a sharp breath when his middle finger finally penetrates him. He doesn’t take his time in sliding his finger further in, eliciting a loud moan from Levi when he crooks his finger up into his prostate.

He seems to be getting a lot of satisfaction in the reactions he’s getting from Levi, if the soft smile on his face is anything to go by. “How are you feeling?” he asks, tightening his grip a little bit.

Levi sighs, “Good, good,” and lifts his legs up a little bit for easier access. Erwin takes it as an opportunity to add in another finger, pressing a firm kiss onto Levi’s knee. His fingers press up against Levi’s prostate at the same moment his other thumb rubs against his frenulum, and Levi’s whole body twitches almost violently. Erwin raises a thick eyebrow at that, letting out a soft, “Oh?”

Having found the sweet spot, he sticks to stroking those two places in particular, and the more he strokes, the more vocal Levi gets. It’s the loudest he’s ever been during sex – which isn’t that much of a challenge to beat, since he was usually strangely quiet. But the noises he’s making are downright pathetic. Even so, coupled with the fact that he’s legitimately panting and his body keeps twitching involuntarily, he can’t bring himself to feel too embarrassed about his body’s reaction to the stimulation.

His orgasm builds up in the pits of his stomach, tingling up his spine, and Erwin just keeps speeding up little by little. Luckily for Levi, it doesn’t take too long for his entire body to explode with pleasure – and explode it does. Levi comes, and his whole body shakes with it, and it just keeps going. His pathetic little moans evolve into frantic crying – so bad that he has to shove his face into the sheets to muffle most of it. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck,” Levi hisses, scrunching his eyes shut and practically crying into the sheets. “Fuck, I love you, Jesus fuck.”

Tears roll down his cheeks as his body starts to calm down a little bit, and he manages to wipe them away with the back of his hand. Erwin doesn’t say anything – he just strokes Levi’s hair and leans in to press little kisses on his forehead.

They lie there for a few moments, Erwin whispering praise in Levi’s ear as he tries to calm down and stop the physical aftershocks of his orgasm. It takes him a good ten minutes for his body to finally settle and stop feeling like it’s floating. He looks up at Erwin, and then it clicks. Oh no.

“That was… um,” Levi starts. He digs his fingernails into the palms of his hands and cringes internally. Erwin is looking back at him with wide eyes. There’s no way he missed it. Change the subject as quickly as you can. “I think you’ve killed me.”

“Is that good or bad?” Erwin asks, giving Levi a pitiful little smile.

“Good,” Levi confirms. “I totally blacked out for a minute there. Like… I almost have no idea what happened.”

Erwin looks a little confused, but Levi just chooses to ignore it and rolls away. He sits up, and immediately his vision floods with static. He groans and waits a few moments before he crawls off of the bed. His legs nearly give way when he stands up, but he manages to stay on his feet and pull on his underwear without falling over. “I’m going to shower this oil off of me.”

“Good idea.”

“Are you staying the night…?” Levi asks warily, completely unsure of whether he wanted him to or not.

“I’d like to stay,” Erwin confirms.

“Okay.” Levi stands there awkwardly for a beat too long, before basically sprinting down the hall and into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him a little bit too hard and leans his back against the door, sliding his hands over his face.

Fuck.

“You did what?!”

Levi just sits there, looking down at his hands in shame. Needless to say, Isabel didn’t take the news of Levi accidentally telling Erwin he loved him and then completely back-pedalling – y’know, like a coward – very well. She leans forwards and smackshim on the head. “Ouch, you bitch!” Levi yelps, grabbing his head. “What was I supposed to do?!”

“Oh, gosh, I don’t know, maybe just fucking tell him how you feel?” Isabel exclaims.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Isabel counters. “You’re both obviously crazy for each other. Are you that stupid?”

All Levi can do is shrug. While it is true that he is a bit crazy about Erwin, he’s not really sure if he loves him. It’s not like he has anything else to compare to – he’s never been in a relationship or even really liked anyone before, so how should he know whether or not he’s in love with Erwin? They’ve been seeing each other for a while – longer than Levi has ever seen anyone by a longshot – and Levi cares about him just as much as he cares about Isabel and Farlan, but that doesn’t necessarily have to mean that he’s in love.

And what if Erwin doesn’t feel the same way about him? When Levi said that he loved him, Erwin didn’t say anything back. Granted, the entire situation was awkward and weird, but… He didn’t say anything about it then, and he hasn’t said anything about it since.

Isabel sighs, throwing her head down into her hands. “Why are you like this?” she groans, and Levi suddenly feels like a child who’s being lectured by his teacher. She lifts her head. “Do you remember when I was dating Sophie? And for months she was the only thing I talked or thought about. Like, it was so bad that you started spraying me with water every time I even said her name.”

“Yeah?”

“You sit around waiting for him to message, and if he’s not here you mope around the house all day until he asks if he can come over.”

“I don’t mope,” he argues.

…

Okay, maybe he does mope a little.

Isabel flaps her hand in his direction. “Whatever. I’m basically saying that you’re acting exactly like I used to, and it’s so obvious.” She sighs and leans forwards towards him. “Look. It’s okay if you don’t feel ready to tell him. If you’re too scared to acknowledge that you love him, or if you don’t think you do just yet, you don’t have to do anything at all.”

For the first time in a longtime, Levi doesn’t know what to do.

Maybe he is falling in love, but where does he go from there? If Erwin tells him that he loves him, do they start calling each other boyfriends? The idea of calling someone his boyfriend at thirty fucking years old just feels so weird to him – hell, it would’ve felt weird to him as a kid. And if Erwin doesn’t feel the same way and doesn’t want to see him anymore, what will he do then? He can’t even begin to imagine his life without Erwin in it anymore.

The idea of losing Erwin makes him feel sick.

Levi groans and throws his head back. “God fucking damn it,” he sighs. He brings his hands up to his face and digs his fingers into his eyelids. “I’m going to have to tell him for real, aren’t I?”

Chuckling, Isabel leans over to pat Levi’s knee. “Good luck.”

He doesn’t have anything close to a coherent plan in mind, but Levi invites Erwin over on the following Saturday.

He arrives at Levi’s house at noon with a paper bag full of different kinds of doughnuts and a cappuccino for Levi, who drinks it so fast that it burns his throat on the way down. The caffeine calms him down a little bit, but his hands are still shaking as Erwin says hello to Croissant, shouts his greeting to Isabel in her room, and throws himself down onto the couch.

He needs to say something.

Despite Levi’s jittery nerves, Erwin seems to be acting exactly the same as he always does. He smiles up at Levi and pats his knees, beckoning him to come and sit down. Levi complies, slowly slinking over to climb into Erwin’s lap. He pulls Levi down, kissing him on the mouth and sliding a hand up the back of his shirt. He idly strokes Levi’s back, fingers skimming over the ridges of his spine and causing Levi to melt even further into Erwin’s embrace.

Levi sighs happily, his hands immediately finding their place in Erwin’s hair and pushing his fingers through to separate the shitty hair-wax that he insists on using.

He really needs to say something. How hard does it have to be to tell someone that you love them, when you’ve already said it before?

But Erwin is warm, despite how cold it is outside, and Levi can feel himself finally calming down for the first time all day. Why does he even have to bring it up? It would be so much easier to just wait until Erwin brings it up himself. Or until he gets sick of him, Levi supposes – which would probably be so much worse, now that he thinks about it.

Winter is finally creeping up, and the more time he spends with Erwin, the more he begins to dread the idea of spending the season alone. He doesn’t peg himself for a particularly traditional person, nor a romantic, but spending the holiday season without him there would just feel wrong. Seeing people in their happy couples never really bothered Levi too much in the past, but there was always the tiniest feeling inside of his chest that felt a little too much like loneliness. Not to mention that they’ve all already gotten so used to Erwin being around, and Levi is in way too deep.

Erwin eases up, nudging his lips against Levi’s gently and slipping his hand down to his ass. He hums contentedly as Erwin’s long fingers dig firmly into his skin, acting as a way to pull him closer. His lips slowly find their way down Levi’s neck, and Erwin gently nudges his Adam’s apple with his tongue, eventually attaching onto his neck and sucking and licking its way down to his collarbone. There’s a sharp curl of pleasure deep within Levi’s core, and he can’t help the startled hiccup that forces its way out of his mouth.

“Fuuuck, alright.” Levi pulls back from Erwin suddenly and scrambles to climb off of his lap.

Erwin’s eyebrows shoot up and he sits up, carefully folding his hands in his lap. “What’s wrong?”

“God, um…” Levi shifts nervously. He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, sinking his teeth into the inside of his bottom lip. “You know, the other night. When I said… That I. Love you. Or whatever.”

Erwin blinks slowly at him. “I… didn’t think you’d want me to bring it up.”

“Yeah, well…” Levi digs his fingernails into his thigh and looks away. “I guess I’m bringing it up.”

“Okay,” Erwin says slowly. “You’re going to say that you didn’t mean it, right? Like, you just said it in the moment.” He sounds pretty sure of himself, Levi notices. He wonders if Erwin went through it in his head over and over, trying to convince himself that he didn’t mean it – just like Levi did.

Levi shrugs. “I did say it in the moment,” he confirms. He hazards a glance at Erwin for a second, and looks into his eyes, and sees just how startled he seems. There really isn’t any way he can’t tell him now, and the worst Erwin can do is reject him. It will only mean years of crippling embarrassment and loneliness for Levi, but he’s sure he’s been through worse in his life.

He takes a deep breath and turns around so that he isn’t facing Erwin anymore. Here goes. “The thing is,” he starts, slowly, “I think I do. Love you.”

There it is.

He did it, he did it, he did it.

Levi lets go of the huge sigh that’s been weighing him down all day. He’s still absolutely shitting himself, but it feels great to finally get it off of his chest. He has never laid his heart out to anyone like this before. He takes a couple of moments to breathe and slowly turns around to look at Erwin again. And… Erwin just staring at him with his mouth open was not exactly the reaction he thought he would get.

“I was–” Erwin’s voice cracks, and he clears his throat “…not expecting that.”

Levi is suddenly hit by a rush of oh fuck, oh God, oh no, and slowly pulls further back. He’s not sure exactly what he was expecting himself – total and complete rejection, maybe, but not… awkward, stunned silence. He can’t even run away, because it’s his house. Fuck, he knew he should’ve done it at Erwin’s place.

Still, he considers bolting anyway because he doesn’t think there is anything he has ever hated more than telling someone that he loves them for the first time and just getting stared at.

He’s just about to stand up and make his escape, but Erwin leans forwards and places a hand gently onto his thigh. “Tell me again.”

Levi clears his throat, and suddenly he’s completely nervous all over again. “I think I’m in love with you,” he mumbles. For good measure, he tentatively adds, “Erwin.”

Erwin suddenly leans in closer, pressing a hard kiss onto Levi’s mouth and sliding a hand up into his hair. He wraps an arm around Levi’s waist and pulls him in closer until their chests are pressed up against each other. He pulls back slowly, and he’s smiling, and he says, “I think I’m in love with you, too,” and Levi feels the weight lift off of his shoulders.

“You kept me waiting a little too long for that, y’know?” Levi says, leaning back. “I thought you were about to get up and leave.”

“I’m sorry.” Erwin chuckles, and kisses him again. “I would never do that to you, I promise.”

“That’s okay,” Levi says, just about melting. He pulls Erwin on top of him and kisses the hell out of him.

In all of the years that Levi has known Isabel, there has never been anything that has stopped her from going all out for Christmas, and this year is no different. She buys her presents months in advance, and absolutely insists on decorating immediately after Halloween.

Levi hates it. He hates Christmas, and he hates decorating, but it’s not like he could stop her. That would just be wrong.

Most of all, he hates the Christmas tree. He hates how the plastic leaves scratch his hands, and how difficult it is to screw it into the shitty metal stand, and he can’t stand the fact that Isabel and Farlan seemingly have no eye for decoration. They just throw ornaments and tinsel of all colours onto the tree and call it a day. It’s genuinely painful, and Isabel is lucky that he loves her so much. And if he subtly fixes her decoration monstrosities every now and then, no one has to know.

Levi watches in horror as Isabel haphazardly throws green tinsel onto the tree, completely covering up at least five of the baubles Levi had hung himself. She smirks sideways at Levi, and he concludes that there’s no way she isn’t doing it on purpose.

Beside him, Erwin chuckles quietly to himself and leans over to wrap an arm around Levi’s shoulders. “I can’t believe you’re just letting her do this,” he notes. “You must be more whipped than I thought.”

“He is!” Farlan says happily, tossing another string of tinsel at the tree. It lands almost directly on top of another string, and they just leave it there. Because they’re monsters.

Levi grumbles, crossing his arms. “She does it on purpose because she knows I can’t say anything about it,” he explains. He has to try extra hard not to cringe in disgust. “Christmas is the only time of the year where I’m not allowed to complain.”

Humming in what Levi chooses to believe to be a sympathetic manner, Erwin pulls on Levi’s shoulders until his head is resting in his lap. He takes the opportunity to curl up and shield his eyes from the horror unfolding in front of him, and pretty much melts into the couch as Erwin runs his fingers through his hair.

“And there’s still two months of Christmas left!” Isabel exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Yay,” Levi responds, completely unenthusiastically.

As November rolls on into December, Erwin and Farlan start to spend nearly every day at the house. It starts with Farlan, who usually spends most of the holidays with them every year, and Levi supposes that Erwin just follows his lead. It makes sense, he supposes, since Erwin doesn’t really have family to spend time with during the holidays either.

He wouldn’t admit it, but Levi is the happiest that he’s ever felt now that Erwin is around every day. They slowly fall into new routines, and it definitely helps that Erwin has plenty of time to bake holiday-themed treats. Whilst they both have time off of work, it’s easy to slip into a comfortable state of sitting down in front of the TV, cooking, “family bonding night” with Isabel and Farlan, and making out all week.

Levi can’t remember ever being excited for Christmas, but he bought Erwin an expensive Damascus-patterned Santoku knife, and there are some nights where he genuinely can’t get to sleep from how excited he is to see the look on his face when he gives it to him – and sometimes, from how nervous he is at the thought that Erwinn won’t even like it.

On Christmas Eve, he waits no later than 12:03am to sit Erwin down in front of the fireplace and give him the meticulously wrapped giftbox that has been giving him so much anxiety lately. He watches with a full heart as Erwin takes his time to unwrap it, being extra careful not to tear the wrapping paper or crease the nice ribbon that Levi used. He takes the lid off of the fancy wooden box that the knife resides inside, taking his sweet time as though he knows exactly how much the anticipation is killing Levi.

“Oh wow,” is all Erwin says once he sets the lid down. He gently picks up the knife and turns it around in his hands, not even attempting to stifle the huge grin that crosses his face. “This is lovely, Levi. I’m almost a bit scared to use it, it’s so nice.”

Levi just shrugs. “It can just be for decoration.”

Erwin gently puts the knife away and leans forwards to land a hard kiss on Levi’s mouth, “Thank you so much. I love it.” He adds, “I love you,” and Levi can’t help but push him down onto the floor and crawl on top of him. The world outside is slowly filling up with white snow and holiday chill, and the crackling fireplace isn’t the only thing keeping them so warm on their first of many Christmases together.

#Eruri #Attack on Titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #Erwin Smith #Levi Ackerman #Eruri fic #Eruri fanfiction #Writing Tag

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