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#WHY DO PEOPLE BUY THEM ALL THE TIME? THEY TAKE SO LONG TO DRY
paimonial-rage · 4 months
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unraveled - alhaitham
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synopsis: after hearing a rather interesting rumor about your boss, how could you give up the chance to test its validity?
ship: alhaitham x reader
notes: 4.8k, prompt given by @milkstore more than a year ago lol
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You heard something extremely interesting the other day while walking around the Akademiya. Now let it be said you were never one for gossip. Not that you viewed yourself as above gossip or anything; it just rarely had anything to do with you. This recent tidbit that drifted into your listening ears, though, it had you stopping cold in the middle of the morning Akademiya rush. It was shocking. It was discombobulating. It was absolutely world-shaking! Alhaitham, your boss…
… was apparently interested in someone.
You were used to hearing many rumors about Alhaitham—how he was planning to change Akademiya hours to a strict 9-5 schedule, how he destroyed the self-esteem of toddlers for fun, how he was secretly raised by Inazuman Rifthound Wolves with the blood of the abyss flowing through his veins—but those were easy to ignore. As his secretary, you were privy to his plans and personal information. You knew what was true and false (not including toddler thing—that was up in the air). However, Alhaitham interested in someone? Now that was interesting.
Your first reaction was to dismiss the rumor. Your boss followed a strict schedule that didn’t leave much room for other activities. That wasn’t even mentioning the sheer number of people that filed complaints regarding his tongue. Sad to say, he didn’t get along with most people. 
And, while you’ve never been in a relationship with someone before, you’ve seen how others acted. They became sweet to their lover, engaged in much physical contact, noticed them even in most crowded of rooms, and spoiled them rotten. Could you imagine Alhaitham doing such things? You most absolutely positively could not. 
But when you thought about it more, it was often said that love changed people. Even the grouchiest of grumps could turn into the softest of softies, right? It was a possibility. Added to that, he made it a point to leave when his time for the day was up. He had a decent amount of time after work to woo and court to his heart’s content. Yes, as you contemplated it all, you came to a set conclusion.
Your curiosity was piqued.
So, let it be made known now that you knew it was wrong to do so. You knew that if you got caught, you’d get sent straight to the scary General Mahamatra. But you had a duty and it was this duty you would uphold. You were an alumnus of the Akademiya and you would follow in the footsteps of your predecessors. Desperate times called for desperate measures, as they said, and desperate measures called for engaging in a long-supported research method. 
Stalking Observation. 
It was a brilliant plan, perhaps one of your smartest. If the Acting Grand Sage was interested in someone as rumors implied, observation would be the best method to discover the truth. To ensure your plans would go off without a hitch, you slammed through your work for the day. You even skipped out on Shawarma Wrap special hour at Lambad’s Tavern. Sure, your stomach may had been causing a ruckus, but such sacrifices were necessary. Today you would find the truth!
You were ready the moment 5pm hit. Your work was done, you were in civilian clothes and clocked out for the day. He didn’t even notice you weren’t seated at your desk when he walked by toward the exit! Judging from how everything was going so far, it seemed that your mission would be far easier than you thought! 
And it was! In fact, it was rather boring! His first visit was to the House of Daena. You hoped he would be there to meet someone, but he instead made a beeline for the new book section. After glancing over a few here and there, he picked out a few, checked them out with the librarian, then left. They weren’t interesting books either. As you peeked out from under a desk, you could catch a glimpse of the cover of one of the books about Inazuma. It was written by “Hat Guy.”
Hm.
Anyway, your heart pounded in excitement when he began heading in the direction of the Grand Bazaar next. You heard he recently became acquainted with a dancer from the Zubayr Theater. Perhaps the secret lover was her? But he disappointed you once more. He spent a total amount of five minutes glancing over stalls, looking at some ugly pieces of furniture, before quickly departing once a crowd of people began filing in for a show. 
As you followed him to your next destination, your initial reaction to this whole debacle started to become more and more plausible. It seemed all that was on his mind was errands, nothing more and nothing less. If anything was strange, though, it was how you didn’t seem to be disappointed by the turn of events. 
Though it was clear Alhaitham didn’t get along with most people, you personally liked him quite a lot. When you first came to the Akademiya from Mondstadt, you had a difficult time. You weren’t sure why at the time, but you tended to annoy people. No matter how friendly you tried to be, they sneered even more. It wasn’t until an explosive confrontation that you learned why. They saw you as disruptive and nosy. You lacked any pride. You were too idealistic. 
You weren’t like them.
You spent much of your time to yourself after that. You didn’t know how to act. You didn’t want to do anything wrong. Despite its warmer climate, Sumeru somehow felt colder than the winters of your homeland. 
You first met Alhaitham on a joint project. As usual, you kept to yourself through much of it. Being the only member of your darshan there, you knew you should have brought up your points of concern, but fear held you back. And sure enough, the project ended up heading in a direction that would inevitably hit the roadblock you predicted. You would’ve kept quiet had Alhaitham not spoken up.
“Are you planning on contributing anything worthwhile to this project?”
His words came so out of the blue you could only splutter in response, “Excuse me?”
“I recommended you for this project because I thought your research papers showed complex reasoning and a thorough work ethic. However, it seems I was mistaken. Not only have you not offered anything useful, but you insist on keeping quiet despite your knowledge of possible issues. So I ask you again. Are you or are you not going to contribute anything worthwhile?”
There were so many things you could’ve said, so many things you should’ve felt. It wasn’t like you weren’t doing anything! You fulfilled your set duties for the project. But despite your work, you were being labeled by him as essentially useless. The only logical response was to feel upset, even anger. But instead, a hesitant warmth filled your chest instead.
“Wait. You recommended me?”
Though his expression didn’t change, somehow you could see he was judging the strength of your intellect.
“Your studies relate to this project directly. Why wouldn’t I?”
You floundered, gesturing wildly for a few moments before finally getting out, “But nobody likes me!”
He simply stared at you deadpan, communicating through body language alone, “That is my problem how?”
“Are you sure you want me to speak up? You won’t get upset?”
He sighed.
“You were brought onto this project for your expertise. If anything, I would be upset if you did anything but that."
His words were astounding. They were game-changing. They were earth-shattering! In his eyes, you were not an outsider from Mondstadt. You were a scholar, and it would only be your merits upon which you would be judged. 
You knew he didn’t exactly like it, but you found yourself sticking around him even after the project was successfully completed. With everything you dealt with at the Akademiya, Alhaitham was like a breath of fresh air. Sure, he did tend to point out the fallacies in your logic and personal flaws that would get in the way of achieving your goals, but that really was it. It wasn’t like he was ever wrong either, so you didn’t mind. At least you weren’t getting criticized merely for existing. 
As for how he felt about you, you really weren’t sure. He wasn’t exactly the most expressive person in the world, nor the most feelsy either. Really, he could probably be replaced by a Rishboland Leopard and you doubted there would be much difference.
Still, if there was anything you did know, it was that he never pushed you away without reason. Even when his nose was buried in a book during his free time, he had no qualms letting you ramble to your heart’s delight. And when you finished, he would respond with his own thoughts, always surprising you with the fact that he was listening all along. 
There also was the fact he requested you personally as a secretary when he was forced into the role of Acting Grand Sage. Sure, working at the Akademiya after graduation in administration made it easier for you both to keep in touch, but you didn’t think he still kept tabs on your work ethic. So maybe, just maybe, the feelings he felt toward you were higher than simple toleration. And you were content with that. 
So lost you were in your musings that you almost didn’t catch him turn onto Treasures Street. You nearly bumped into a few people while correcting your course. But he didn’t head in the direction of his home like you assumed, however. Instead, it seemed he was making his way to Menakeri's Treasure Shop. Which was rather strange. That shop had been out of stock for the past year. Unless he was planning on reserving something with Khalid? 
Upon peeking inside, it seemed he was examining quills and fountain pens. You nearly gasped audibly. Was he perhaps finally listening to your advice and purchasing himself new writing utensils? You didn’t know how many times you nagged him about those terrible ParchmentMate quills that anyone could buy in bulk. They didn’t give a consistent line, were prone to getting clogged, and were all around cheap garbage! It was about time he got himself something fitting of his position. 
But… Wait, was he…? It was the moment he hummed in thought and picked up a particular brand that you found yourself called to action. 
“Just because Zilot H2 fountain pens are popular doesn’t mean they’re actually good!” You exclaimed, rushing over and plucking the abomination from his fingers. “Even when you’re right-handed, they still tend to smear like crazy! Also, the quality is not consistent throughout the pens, so you can get some that clog constantly!!”
You were quick to plop the pen right back where it belonged on the display. Such a monstrosity would have no place in your boss’ office. No way. It was a good thing Alhaitham was essentially a lazy person who despised putting up with inconveniences because arguing with him was the last thing you wanted to do today. And thankfully, he did not disappoint!
“I see, then which pen would you recommend?” He asked with his fingers against his chin in thought. 
Oooh~ At the sound of that beautiful question, your heart quickened within your chest as a rosy flush found its way to the apples of your cheeks. He’d always wave you away whenever you brought up this subject before (probably because he knew very well you could ramble about the glory of stationery for a good hour), so what changed his mind? Well, who cared what did! You weren’t about to squander this chance he so graciously gave you!
“Well, there are many great fountain pens and quills. Monstadt is Teyvat’s biggest producer of high-quality pens, though Inazuma and Liyue have some notable brands too. I’d recommend…” You hummed as you scanned the display before plucking two that caught your eye. “A KWSBY Eco or a KAMY Safari.”
“And the difference between the two?” He asked as he stepped close to you.
Though the fact that you could feel the warmth he radiated against your arm and his gaze upon your face was distracting, the excitement within your chest overpowered any presence he had. 
“Well, while they both write very well, the Eco holds more ink and, in my opinion, requires less maintenance. It’s more eco-friendly as well because it doesn’t take cartridges. But I’d say the Safari feels better in the hand and requires less pressure, so it’s less straining to write for long periods of time.”
“Then which one would you recommend?”
You tilted your head to the side. That was a good question.
“Well, personally, I would recommend the Eco. While you do write a lot, I think the hassle of replacing cartridges and going out to buy new ones is something you’d find annoying after a while. However, both are rather cheap, so it wouldn’t be much out of your pocket to purchase both to see which one you like more. Then you could use the other as a backup pen, or maybe one to keep at home.”
He hummed. 
“I see. And why were you following me this whole evening?”
Well, that was the easiest question he asked by far!
“Because I heard rumors about you and I wanted to see if they were true!” You exclaimed with a wide smile on your face. 
Wait, that question wasn’t about pens at all… In fact, that was… You paused and realized something for the first time. Alhaitham was looking at you. Like… he knew and was cognizant of the fact that you were standing in front of him. Which meant… 
“You used those pens to lure me out, didn’t you!?” You cried out in betrayal. 
He shrugged.
“It’s not my fault you’re easily baited with stationery.”
You groaned in frustration. He wasn’t wrong about that. Anyone that knew you knew quite well how much you enjoyed talking. Blame it on your Mondstadt blood, but you were too talkative for your own good. Often times you’d surprise people by making conversation in long lines or when their pretty outfits caught your eye. More than that, you loved helping people and giving advice, even when you weren’t exactly needed. Really, it was a smart move on Alhaitham’s part.
“So, what is it this time?” He asked with a cross of his arms and a raised brow. “It’s not the rifthound wolves rumor again, is it?”
You shook your head. 
“Of course not. You know you were there when I checked that one,” You exclaimed with a roll of your eyes. “This rumor is way better than that one. They say that you’re courting someone.” 
He sighed.
“And you believed that?”
You shook your head once more. 
“Well, no. But rumors like that don’t come out of the blue. So I thought there had to be some truth to them. Maybe you’re interested in someone.”
“Oh? And it bothered you enough to follow me after hours?”
You laughed.
“Well yeah. Who wouldn’t want to see the sarcastic and straight-laced Alhaitham getting starry-eyed over a special someone?” You replied with a shrug.
His eyes shut, shaking his head in exasperation.
“And how exactly would my getting ‘starry-eyed’ look?”
“Well obviously–”
Your stomach grumbled. Loudly. You winced. Apparently not eating lunch today was coming back with a vengeance. It seemed that your companion noticed the sound as well as his brow raised while glancing down at you.
“Did you eat yet?”
You coughed.
“No.”
He nodded in acknowledgment.
“Then you can tell me over dinner.”
Your heart jumped as a smile leapt to your lips. 
“Are you paying for dinner too?” You asked, your eyes glittering. 
His eyes narrowed as he placed a hand on his hip.
“If I’m not mistaken, the last time, I was the one that paid.”
You coughed once more.
“Th-That may be true,” you began with a stutter, “But… I’m not the one with the salary of a grand sage. Surely it wouldn’t be too much out of your wallet to pay for your overworked assistant?”
He stared at you, his eyes half-lidded in exasperation shutting them in unwilling acceptance.
“Fine.”
With a joyous fist pump, you rushed to follow him at his side as he began to make his way in the direction of the tavern.
“This is why you’re my favorite boss, Alhaitham!” You exclaimed with a grin causing him to snort.
“If I recall, just yesterday you were calling me the worst for excusing you when you sneezed.”
“That’s because right after, you gave me tips on how to sneeze quieter,” you shot back. “I can’t help the way I sneeze, you know. I was—excuse me—born that way. Besides, nobody in Mondstadt ever–”
Your brow furrowed as yet another person bumped into you. It seemed the true rush hour of Sumeru finally hit as the roads were covered with people. You wanted to roll your eyes. Of course, nobody was walking into Alhaitham. He seemed to have a two-foot forcefield around him. Not that you were surprised. Though you liked him, even you could admit that the vibes he exuded were not the most welcoming. 
But as you kept musing to yourself about Alhaitham and his unkind vibes, the more you found yourself getting pushed and shoved away from him. Thankfully, you knew the direction he was heading, so it wouldn’t be too hard to simply meet him there–
“They’re not going to move unless you make them.”
Your eyes widened as you felt a hand grasp yours. With a gentle tug, you found yourself pulled from the crowd. There Alhaitham stood with a brow up, daring you to argue. You pouted.
“You could’ve done that earlier.”
He shrugged.
“I was waiting to see if you’d do it yourself.”
“Well thanks, I guess,” you replied, rolling your eyes. Still, you squeezed his hand gently because you were, though a bit exasperated, also grateful. 
With him at the forefront to part the crowd, he led you by hand to Lambad’s Tavern. Despite being a busy night, it didn’t take too long for you both to be seated. After being guided to a square table, he took his normal place diagonally to your side instead of across from you. In the back of your mind, you assumed it was so that you were easier to hear, but there wasn’t any point to putting much thought into it than that. With your orders put in and a round of drinks on the table, you took a hearty swig from your glass before leaning back. 
“So here’s what I envision for an Alhaitham in love,” you began, eager to continue your conversation from before. “I…
Hm…
“I um…”
That was a good question. How would a starry-eyed Alhaitham look?
“Well, you see…”
Though you found yourself ready to wax poetic about a normal person in love, when you really thought about it, Alhaitham wasn’t the most normal person around. He didn’t laugh much, let alone smile. He was more mean than he was nice. That wasn’t even mentioning his sheer lack of friends. 
“Can’t think of anything?”
“No, that’s not it. I’m just realizing you wouldn’t act much different,” you began. “I think you would still treat them the same, but you’d always have an eye out for them. You may talk about them from time to time, maybe pay for their meals as well. I can see you wanting to be nearer to them than most people. You’d prefer their company more. Things like that.”
His head cocked to the side in thought.
“That doesn’t sound like I’d be very much in love with them at all.”
You shrugged.
“You don’t need to look in love to be in love, you know. It’s just that you wouldn’t be as obvious about it as most.”
It was then his turn to shrug.
“Really? I think most would say that I’m not capable of love.”
You snorted.
“Oh, come on,” you began with a humored grin. “We both know that’s not true. You’re a human just like anyone else. You’re one of the kindest people I know.”
“I know many people that would disagree with that.”
“And I would disagree with them. You don’t judge people. You see them for who they are. You always tell the truth, even if it may hurt. You don’t like it when people are troubled, so you give them words to help them change. Though you try to avoid company, you don’t hesitate to help the people you care about. You don’t abandon people in their time of need. You’re kind, Alhaitham.”
He took a sip of his drink.
“You make it seem like I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart. I merely don’t like being troubled by other people’s problems,” he replied with a shake of his head.
“Maybe,” you admitted with a shrug before giving him a knowing look. “But if you really hated it all that much, I think you would’ve gotten rid of some people in your life a long time ago.”
He turned away.
“I think you’re looking far too into it.”
“And I think you just feel exposed for being a softie,” you shot back with a laugh.
He didn’t speak after that, not that he needed to. You knew he knew there was no point in trying to argue. This was something you brought up multiple times in the past, much to his dismay. As much as he tried to ignore it, you saw him for how he really was. Which was why… 
You sighed.
“Do you really like someone though? Are the rumors true?” You asked nervously. 
“Was it that important to you that you had to follow me to find out if it was?” He questioned.
You shrugged. 
“Well, I mean I did want to see you get all starry-eyed, but… the thought of you having someone so important to you in your life and me not noticing a single thing bothered me. I mean you’re the person I spend the most time with. Can I even be called your friend if I didn’t notice something so big?” You asked, a bit dejected.
“Is that the only reason?”
When you frowned in confusion, he continued.
“You say it’s because you’re my friend. Are you sure it’s not for any reason more than that?”
As he spoke, his gaze did not waver from you. It was as if his eyes were piercing you through. It seemed as if he was searching for something, but what? Was there truly a reason more than that? You weren’t so sure. 
Before you could respond, your plates were set before you, prompting your stomach to let out another long and loud grumble. You flushed. Of course, your stomach had to interrupt such a serious moment. 
He sighed.
“Let’s eat.”
Really, you truly did mean to play around with his words in your head as you ate, but the moment the food touched your tongue, any and all thoughts were out the window. Lambad’s Shawarma Wraps were always top-notch. The flatbread was soft and warm and the sauce was tangy and fresh. Despite living here for the past few years, you still weren’t quite used to eating with your hands, but such problems never detracted from the taste. 
When you were almost done, you turned your gaze to your companion with stars in your eyes. 
“Do you want to share an Ajilenakh Cake with me?”
Though you knew he wasn’t one for sweet food, you didn’t know anyone who could resist the sweet nuttiness of Ajilenakh Cakes. They were warm and soft and the jam complimented the flavors wonderfully. 
“Sure,” he agreed with a shrug. 
And with an excited grin, you put in the order and went back to your food. In the back of your mind, you remembered the time Alhaitham mentioned he preferred meals with you. When you asked if it was because he enjoyed your company, he said that you were always so focused on eating that you barely had any time to speak. You hated how you always proved him true because once the dessert was placed before you, again any thoughts you had of continuing the conversation quickly came and left.
As you ate you mused it probably would be a good idea to go on a diet after this. Alhaitham barely had a fourth of the Ajilenakh Cakes, not that you were surprised. He wasn’t exactly one for sweets. But that meant you ate the rest, and with all the Shawarma Wraps you’ve been eating as well… it did not bode well for your waistline. 
“I don’t think it means anything. Me being bothered, I mean,” you finally announced as you wiped your lips clean. “I think any normal person would want to know what’s going on with one of their friends, you know? Besides, you say that me being bothered could mean something more. What more could it mean?”
He shrugged.
“It could mean that you’re interested in me and worried that I may have found someone else.”
You leaned back as you crossed your arms in thought. Well, when he put it like that, it certainly was a possibility. Perhaps you were afraid of being replaced by someone else. You enjoyed being at his side, after all. But that being said, being interested in him? It didn’t seem very likely.
“No, I don’t think so,” you replied. “I’ve never really thought of you in that way before.”
He sighed.
“Then that’s a shame.” When you asked why, he continued, “Because the rumors are true. The person I’m interested in, the person everyone is gossiping about, is you.”
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“And that’s what happened,” you finished as you sipped your wine. “Can you believe it? The source of the rumors, the one everyone was talking about, was me!”
“W-Wait. He literally told you that? He just went out with it!?” Kaveh exclaimed in disbelief. 
As Kaveh sat across from you, you wanted to laugh at the sheer look of confusion upon his face. He was utterly dumbfounded. Not that you could blame him. It was a rather crazy story, after all.
You nodded.
“Yep! I mean looking back, all of the signs were there. We spend a lot of time together for work, he likes sitting next to me at restaurants, sometimes he pays for me… He even holds my hand from time to time when the roads are packed! I don’t know how it took him explaining it to me to finally realize the truth!” 
And really, it was embarrassing on your part. Growing up, you’d love to while away the hours in the Knights of Favonius’ library reading mystery novels. Nothing was more exhilarating than getting the culprit correct. So really, this was something you should have figured out from the very start. But nevertheless, being given the answer to this mystery didn’t make the outcome any less exciting. It made you wonder if you should investigate more Akademiya rumors in your free time. It certainly would be fun.
However, a quick glance at Kaveh showed he wasn’t exactly sharing your thoughts. Instead, his face still held that same dumbfounded look from before, if not a bit more intense. 
“So what did you do? What did you say? Alhaitham didn’t seem any different when he came home! Oh Gods, and to think I scolded him that evening for leaving his books out! I really must’ve sounded like a jerk!!”
You frowned in thought. Was there something lost in the communication here? You didn’t see anything worth panicking over. 
“Well, after he told me that, I tried to argue with him, actually. Honestly, can you imagine me being the answer? That’s way too easy. But then he explained everything to me and eventually it made sense. After that, he paid for dinner and then we went home.”
His jaw dropped this time. 
“That’s it!? You went home?? After all that???”
You tilted your head to the right. 
“What do you mean? The mystery was solved. What more did we need to do?”
He dropped his head into his hands and pulled at his hair before them on the table.
“What do you mean!? Alhaitham confessed his feelings to you. And you just nodded and went home!? I can’t believe you’re making me feel bad for him! You really don’t think anything about it?”
Your head tilted this time to the left. Kaveh groaned.
“He likes you. Don’t you feel anything about that?”
Feel anything about him liking you? Him… liking you. He… liked you. 
Oh.
First your eyes widened, then your hands dropped to your lap, and then, with the fury of a thousand suns, you felt your face burn up. 
“I’m happy… I think?”
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ohmytyong · 1 year
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mark me in your heart
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PAIRING: drug dealer!mark x bartender!reader (female!reader)
GENRE: angst, smut, kinda friends with benefits au, bartender!renjun, best friend!renjun, action au, open-ended narrative
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, explicit description of drug use (don't do drugs kids), use of pet names, trust issues, explicit language, mentions of food, smoking, emotionally unavailable characters, both mark and y/n are kind of assholes, explicit sexual content, angry make-up sex, rough-ish sex, unprotected sex (!always use protection!), heavy make out, choking, lip biting, nipple play, pussy slapping, spitting, oral (both m and f receiving), degradation, praise, spanking, crying, hair pulling, incredibly cringey dirty talking, aftercare (?), not proofread (let me know if i missed any!)
WC: 13k (12,975)
‣[PLAYLIST]: 505 by arctic monkeys, bad omens by 5 seconds of summer, slow down by chase atlantic, why do you only call me when you’re high? by arctic monkeys, a little death by the neighborhood, okay by chase atlantic
SUMMARY: when a sensitive and broken heart meets another one of the same nature, their instinctive reaction is to seek comfort in each other, and in order to heal themselves, they both need to be equally strong and willing to put all their broken pieces back together. but sometimes, some hearts aren’t strong enough to be saved; the only way to save them is if the stronger heart of the two is willing to take the risk and try for the both of them, whatever it takes.
A/N: it's finally here! it took me too long to finish this one but here it is! i know it might seem a bit fast paced or vague in certain parts, but remember this is all about the vibes and i deeply hope that you will enjoy it and give it some love because it definitely needs it <3
read on wattpad / ao3
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“Hey Renjun, pass me that glass” you said as you wiped the thick tall glass completely dry before you put it back on the shelf behind you. You were moving mechanically at this point, the exhaustion of the long night at the bar taking over your entire body. It was 5 in the morning and you had just barely managed to kick out some of the remaining drunk nobodies who were so wasted, that their toxic-infused brains couldn’t even give them the signals to move their own bodies.
Working at the bar wasn’t your dream job but it’s not as if you had a better choice. It was either a bartender or a stripper. Both of them sounded equally bad, so you decided to opt for the slightly better one. If you could even say it like that.
It wasn’t a particularly ideal job but it was enough to get you by. It earned you enough money to buy you food and pay the rent at the motel you were staying at, it got you as many free drinks as you needed to help your mind escape from all your worries and you also got to meet some relatively cool people, so that was somewhat good. The working hours weren’t such a big of an issue either, you couldn’t really sleep anyway. So you were fine with it.
Most nights, the bar usually closed at around 3 am. There wasn’t a set rule on this; it usually depended on how many customers there were and how much they were drinking. Your boss had suggested that you shouldn’t keep the bar open all night long, so you kinda decided that it was best to close a few hours after midnight. You weren’t complaining about this though; the sooner it closed, the more time you’d have to get high with your co-worker Renjun at the alleyway behind the bar.
Unfortunately, tonight luck wasn’t on your side, as a group of friends kept on drinking more and more as the hours passed by, which meant that you and Renjun had to keep the bar open until later. You weren’t opposed to this idea, it only meant that you would earn a little bit more money. It was Renjun who started complaining, so he decided to take action into his own hands and practically dragged the drunks out of the bar.
This is how you ended up cleaning up the place this late, rather this early in the morning, with your co-worker. The two of you were too tired to speak, so neither of you made any efforts to spark up a conversation. You both just attended to your respective tasks, waiting for a specific somebody to show up.
Luck surely wasn’t on your side tonight. He would usually show up at around 3:30 am, right after the bar closed, and he would have all the stuff ready, just at the exact moment you needed it. Why was he late today?
It didn’t take a genius to understand that Renjun was clearly affected by the lack of the stuff. He moved around the place nervously, tugging at his hair and stomping his foot rhythmically. He was in a desperate need of it, and you would honestly lie to yourself if you said you didn’t need it half as much as Renjun did.
You put the last clean glass on the shelf behind you and went over to the storage room to grab a broom, so that you could clean the floor a bit while Renjun was still wiping the bar counters. As soon as you closed the door of the storage room, the little bell that hung above the bar’s front door rang with a tinkle and soon after it followed the sound of the so familiar footsteps you were waiting for all night.
“Hey kids, Santa’s here,” his voice resonated in the empty room as he waved a small transparent plastic bag that looked white because of its content. Renjun threw the handkerchief he was holding to the other side of the counter and dramatically jumped over it to go and hug the male who just entered. All of that just at the sight of the clear plastic bag with the snowy content.
“Mark, what took you so long my guy, I’m literally a dead man walking! Give this beauty to me,” Renjun exclaimed and snatched the plastic bag straight out of Mark’s hand. Mark smirked at what Renjun said and immediately started grinning at the sight of the boy’s eagerness.
Renjun went to sit on the bar stool closer to him and placed the bag on top of the counter he had just wiped clean. With slender fingers, he opened the plastic bag and dredged some of the content on the counter. With nervousness in his movements, he set the bag aside and shuffled through his back pocket to find his ID card. He started scattering the white dust all over the counter before he gathered all of it in a straight line with the help of his ID card. When he was satisfied with the result, he put his ID card back into his pocket, lowered his head to the level that his nose touched the cold surface of the counter, took a deep breath and snorted the entire line of crack, the product going straight up into his nostrils.
Renjun blinked several times before he slowly lifted his head. He scrunched his nose and wiped it with the back of his hand, his drowsy eyes looking surprisingly bright considering his state. “Man, whoever hasn’t done crack, never, they haven’t known the beauty of life yet” he chuckled. Mark smirked at Renjun’s comment and you couldn’t help but shake your head amusingly, a small smile creeping up at your face.
Renjun took the plastic bag with the rest of the cocaine and put it in his pocket. “This baby’s for me, thank you,” he amused and turned his heel towards the storage room. “Don’t come look for me, I’ll be right here. If I take too long to come out, then you should be concerned,” he said and closed the storage room door behind him; a scene that was surprisingly quite familiar to you.
You then set the broom down and walked towards Mark. “Hey” you whispered and Mark greeted you back in a low husky voice. “What took you so long? We were expecting you to come earlier” you asked him.
Mark shrugged and leaned his elbow against the counter. “I came by at our usual meeting hour and saw that you guys were still open. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing me so I decided to drop by later,” he said and you nodded in understanding.
“You do have more of those plastic bags on you, don’t you?” you asked him and he chuckled. “Of course I do, pretty. Let’s go outside and treat ourselves a bit, shall we?” he suggested and you nodded again, walking beside him towards the alleyway behind the bar.
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The sky was painted in a deep hue of light blue, the moon and the stars still visible in the early morning sky, the sun barely seen in the horizon. You huffed in a sharp breath and put both your hands inside the pockets of your jeans as a reaction to the crispy air of the early morning, as you leaned your back on the damp wall behind you. Mark followed right after you and did the same. He shuffled into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a clear plastic bag full of crack, two crack pipes and a lighter. With almost automatic motions, he filled the pipes with crack and lit them up. He handed you one of them and kept one for himself.
You looked at the crack pipe as if it were an oasis in the middle of an infinite desert and you were so thirsty that your dried up mouth and throat were already relieved just by the sight of it. It only took you one second to react to the visual stimuli in front of you, quickly removing your right hand from your pocket and pulling the pipe straight from Mark’s hand. You brought the pipe to your lips, closed your eyes and took a long, slow drag. This was exactly what you needed.
You immediately felt your body relax and your mind clearing up. The moment you took the drag in, all your worries and problems completely vanished, even if it were only temporary. It was your brief sweet escape from the huge bitter world you were forced to live in.
A chilly breeze flew and you lifted your shoulders at the shivering sensation. Mark noticed immediately and he pulled you closer to him, removed one of the sleeves of his jacket and draped it over your shoulder, slinging his arm over it too.
"So," Mark spoke up, breaking the easing silence, "how was work today?"
You shrugged your shoulders. "Eh, like usual. Bunch of random people came in to drink their problems away and give us their money in exchange for adulterated alcohol. But Renjun had to drag some of them out of the bar, he literally grabbed them by their collar and feet and dragged them out of the store, you should have seen it. It was way too funny" you said and chuckled at the memory of the incident that happened a couple hours ago.
Mark giggled at your statement. "Damn," he dragged out the word, "too bad I missed that" he said and brought the crack pipe to his lips and squinted his eyes in pleasure and relief when he inhaled the poisonous content.
The next few minutes remained silent. There was only the sound of cars passing by being heard in the distance, it was probably people going to their early shifts at work. Normal types of work. Unlike the one you had, unlike the fate you brought upon yourself. That’s when the realization of your situation hit you like a truck. How could your family cut you off so easily when they found out that your dreams were different from what they were expecting of you? Were you just a tool for them? Another burden to take care of?
"You seem unhappy" Mark broke the silence. He was looking straight ahead in the distance, his eyes focusing on nothing in particular, probably because he was a bit too high to notice anything.
"Because I am" you responded to his comment, turning your head to look at him, searching for a sense of home into his soulless eyes.
Mark smirked and turned his attention to his heels. "You know, I wanna help. Right? You know that" he said with a raspy voice due to his sleeplessness. "But I don't think that feeding you drugs is any help" he now turned his head to look you in the eyes.
You pressed your lips into a thin line before you spoke. "I ask for the drugs Mark, you're not feeding me anything. It's my only escape, what else am I supposed to do?"
"I love you, Y/n" Mark said.
You winced at his confession and turned your head to avoid his gaze and fixating yours on the wide sky ahead of you.
"You're high, Mark. Cut the crap" you said in a bitter tone.
"Do you think I'm lying? I mean it, Y/n. I fucking love you, for whatever reason I do. And I care about you, so come with me and let's get out of this shitty town. I’m running out of time too, they’ll soon find where I live" Mark defended himself.
You turned again to meet his eyes. "And go where, Mark? Where the fuck should we go, huh? I don't have anything else to do other than this shitty job. I only keep it because I need the money to survive and it's the only way to keep myself sane. The people I used to call family kicked me out of my house and this was the easiest solution I could come up with before I would collapse entirely and before it would become too difficult to get back on my own feet. So what else is left for me to do?" you were clearly getting angrier now, but not at Mark. At yourself.
Mark's eyes darkened in sadness. "That's what I'm saying! You deserve better than this! Look, we have enough money. I do deals, but I know this is a job I can't have forever. I told you, I’m on thin ice. If I’m seen doing deals again, I’ll go to jail. You know I play the guitar, right? I can join a band or something. I know a friend downtown, he might be of help" he said.
"And you," he continued, "you're a great bartender. You could make a career out of it" he said.
You shut your eyelids and shook your head in denial. "It won't work out. I'm a mess, you're a mess. We can't make this work. It's impossible" you said, turning your head away.
Mark sat up straight and put his hand below your chin to turn your attention towards him. "Look at me, Y/n. We can make it work. Believe me. Trust me. I can't leave you living like this. And I certainly can't live a life like this myself. You're the only person I can make a change with. I need you" he said.
You gulped and stared right into his eyes, unable to form a response. "So you just need me as a means to get you out of town and help you start your magical new life. No thanks, Mark, I'll pass" you said and shoved his hand away to release his grip on you.
Mark became frustrated and moved to stand right in front of you. The half of his jacket that was wrapped around your shoulders dropped and it hung behind his back.
"Okay, look Y/n, you're tired and you're high. We'll have this conversation again in the morning" Mark said defeated.
Your energy was running low despite the boost of energy you had just inhaled, so you let yourself loose. "Let's get you back to your room. You need some rest. Come on, I'll drop you off" Mark suggested and you gave in to him completely.
You took a step towards him and stumbled a bit. Mark, with his rapid reflexes, caught you firmly by the forearm and guided you to his car. The last thing you remembered was the faint sound of the car door closing, before you were engulfed into pretty sleep.
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The next day you woke up to the sound of light guitar strumming from across the dim lit motel room. It was already past noon; the curtains were still drawn closed but the midday sun rays found their way in between the curtain folds and peaked through the dirty motel room windows to light up the inside of the place.
Mark was sitting on a wooden chair across the bed with a concentrated look on his face. With his jaw clenched and his cheekbones popping, he strum his fingers through the guitar strings, playing random chords in an attempt to create a melody he liked.
You shuffled between the bedsheets and stretched your body all over the old bed. A squeaky sound echoed in the room due to your sudden movement, which caught Mark’s attention. His strumming stopped abruptly and his head jolted up in surprise, his eyes opened wide and his lips dropped to a pout.
“Did I wake you up? Shit, I’m sorry” he whispered, trying to be as quiet as possible.
You rubbed your eyes to clear your vision and looked at him. “No, you didn’t. I like what you’re playing. Sounds pretty” you reassured him. “Good morning, Mark”
His previously guilty expression was taken over by a wide grin appearing on his face, which turned into a bright smile. “Good morning, pretty,” he said.
You smiled at him and he went back on strumming random chords on his guitar. His eyebrows scrunched in concentration and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of his messy hair and wrinkly t-shirt due to the, apparently, good quality sleep he just had. Your obsessive thoughts took over once again and didn’t let you enjoy this glimpse of happiness in the abyss of misery you were engulfed in. Your lips gradually dropped to a frown and your vision became blurry again.
Mark wasn’t perfect, but neither were you. He came into your life at the perfect moment, when you needed him the most. It was your first day at the bar, your first time as a bartender. Renjun had been training you all day, teaching you the basic parts of the job and giving you tips on how to handle weird or creepy customers. You were completely drained out that day, so your co-worker and soon-to-be best friend had promised you a pleasant surprise by the end of your shift.
Renjun’s definition of a “pleasant surprise” was slightly different from yours. That night, Mark walked into the empty bar with steps full of confidence. You didn’t know him back then, but from the very first second you saw his figure enter your life, there was only one word that kept circulating your mind; trouble.
Mark was trouble. With his sharp gaze and well-defined features, captivating aura and assertive moves, it was more than obvious that this guy would mean nothing but trouble to you. For some inexplicable reason, this was exactly why you were instantly attracted to him.
Mark came in carrying all the usual stuff Renjun wanted and gave them over to him without talking much. The two guys seemed to share a lot of past memories together, and you were right. Renjun had filled you in later that night on his relationship with Mark and how they helped each other stand back up on their own feet after they were forced to leave home. A story very familiar to you.
Mark came by the bar every single night. He didn’t give Renjun drugs every time, but he sure enjoyed both your and Renjun’s company. It’s not as if he had anywhere else to go.
That’s how you grew quite fond of him very easily. You found yourself looking forward to the end of your shift just so you could see him. He once offered you drugs but immediately took back his offer when he saw your shocked expression. You were at the lowest point in your life and doing drugs wouldn’t be the wisest habit to take up, even though this was, at the same time, the exact reason why you should do drugs. Eventually, reality hit you and you caved in, waiting for Mark to come at the end of your shift for one more reason other than just seeing him. He was reluctant at first. Mark didn’t want to drag you into this lifestyle, so you annoyed him and begged for it until he finally gave you the lethal medicine.
You and Mark were surprisingly very similar. Maybe that’s why you bonded so fast with each other. And maybe that’s exactly why you were equally bad for each other. You could see so much of yourself in him, just at a more put-together version. Sure, he was a drug dealer, which was certainly not a better job than yours, but he at least seemed to have a purpose in his life. Unlike you.
As time passed, you started spending more and more time with him. You would smoke crack, get high, talk endlessly until your mouths dried up, go back to your motel room, have sex with each other, and repeat. You found comfort in his presence and became attached to him without even noticing.
But you didn’t love him. No, you couldn’t call this love. Rather, you were depending on him, no matter how much you hated that. He acted as an emotional support beacon to you, you enjoyed his company and, if you were honest, you genuinely liked him. But it was hard for you to admit to any deeper feelings, so you repeatedly tried to convince yourself that you didn’t love him, so that it wouldn’t hurt as much if he ever decided to switch on you. You hoped it wouldn’t turn out like that.
You lightly shook your head to get rid of all these thoughts and got out of bed to wash up a bit. “I’m starving, I’ll go down to the diner to grab some breakfast, do you want anything?” you asked Mark as you were heading towards the humid bathroom.
“Let’s go eat there. Together” Mark suggested and you stopped at your steps.
He always avoided going out in places that were too public because he was at risk of being outed as a dealer. Especially now that he was caught selling drugs once and the guy who saw him threatened to report Mark to the police.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? You’re on thin ice, you said that yourself” you raised the tone of your voice and walked towards him. 
Mark put down his guitar to focus on you. “You worry too much Y/n, like, what are the odds? We’re in the middle of nowhere, I doubt anyone knows this place apart from us and the customers of your bar. I think we’ll be fine,” he cleared his throat, “I mean, I’ll be fine. Relax, I wanna spend some time with you.”
You decided against protesting and trusted Mark’s certainty of his words. Besides, he was right. The diner was out of town, it wasn’t very popular among people who weren’t familiar with the bar. Most customers at the diner were either drunk people from the bar or passersby. So you simply just nodded and whispered a soft “okay” before you went inside the bathroom, the door emitting a creaking sound as you closed it shut behind you.
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The screeching sound of the fork scratching the surface of the porcelain plate turned your facial expression into a wince, which went completely unnoticed by Mark whose attention was entirely devoted to the pancakes in front of him.
The old diner was relatively empty despite it being lunch time. Other than you and Mark, there was only a group of friends and a guy sitting on a barstool. You were actually very satisfied with the quietness of the place, which was only disrupted by sounds of forks scraping plates and glasses thudding on the tables.
The diner was situated right down the same road your motel was at, so anytime your stomach growled in annoyance you would stop by and fulfill its needs. You were practically a regular customer now and probably the one who kept the place from going bankrupt. It was old, cheap and dirty; the perfect place for you.
Mark gulped down the last bite of his pancakes and thirstily drank the entire glass of water. He then set the glass down and leaned back on the booth, fixating his gaze on you.
You noticed his eager eyes on you and you set down your fork, mimicking his stance and staring right back at him, waiting for him to speak.
"That was a pretty good meal" Mark sighed and you smiled a bit. This wasn't what he wanted to say.
Since Mark seemed to be unwilling to speak his mind, you decided to take matters into your own hands instead.
"Why did you want to have lunch with me?" you asked him with your voice calm and your eyes searching for an answer in his.
Mark crossed his arms and scrunched up his nose before he answered your question. "’Cause I wanted to spend time with you. Actual time. You know, like normal people?" he said.
You rolled your eyes at his response and mimicked his body language once again, crossing your arms over your chest. "I don't buy it, Mark" you said.
Mark sat up straight and leaned closer to the table, resting his elbows on top of it. "Why are you always like this, Y/n? Whenever I tell you something, you never believe me! What's up with you?" Mark's frustration started building up in his attempt to defend himself.
"It's not that I don't believe you-"
"It's that you don't trust me" Mark interrupted you and you stood there with your mouth still open. You didn't know what to say.
Mark's gaze was piercing, his sharp eyes were darker than usual and his lips quivered at the blank stare you were giving him. "You don't trust me," he concluded.
The truth is that you weren't sure if you trusted him or not. You wanted to trust him and he had proved to you numerous times that he was someone who cared and didn't lie. Yet sometimes, you were afraid that if you trusted him too much, he would end up hurting you. So every time he said something you weren't expecting him to say, you immediately assumed that he was lying.
"Mark, listen to me," you started to say and Mark sat back against the booth, rolling his eyes. "I-I do trust you, it's just that-"
"What? You think I don't mean what I say? If I didn't meant what I fucking said then I wouldn't fucking say it! When I say I care about you, Y/n, I fucking mean it. When I say I fucking love y-"
"Don't get mad" you were the one that interrupted him now. Mark was clearly way too frustrated by you now, his voice was getting gradually louder, his eyes were full of fire and his nostrils were fuming.
At the sudden raise of Mark’s voice, the guy who was sitting at the barstool turned to look at your booth with a brief glance and then returned back to eating his food.
"Mark, just let it go, please" your voice came out almost like a whisper. You hated when Mark became angry at you and you hated it even more when he did it in public, even though it was practically just you and him in that diner.
Mark's jaw visibly relaxed and he lowered his eyes to his lap, nodding to himself. He lifted his head to look back at you with pleading eyes, much in contrast with his previous fiery gaze.
"Then why don't you come with me? Out of this fucking town? You deserve to live a better life than this. We deserve it. Look, I know I don't have an exact plan on how we'll do it, but I know that we can figure it out together. Please, Y/n" he said, taking your hand in his from across the table, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.
You lowered your eyes at the spot your hands were joined together. Did you really love Mark? No, actually, did you really trust him enough to depend your entire life on him?
You couldn't give him an answer at that moment. Not a yes, not a no. Not even I don't know. Forget that, it would complicate things even more.
Mark noticed that you weren't going to give him an answer to his question soon, so he let go of your hand and started putting on his jacket. He reached into the inside pocket and took out some cash. He slammed it on the table and got up from the booth ready to leave.
"I have to go to work now, alright? I've arranged some deals. I'll come back later at the bar tonight. If you ever decide what you want to do with me, you know where to find me" he said and without even turning to look at him, you heard the sound of his footsteps grow fainter as he walked out the diner.
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The bar was relatively full tonight. From behind the counter, you could spot only two empty tables. That was the fullest the bar has been in the last month. At the far back of the bar, you spotted Renjun already counting the tips he had earned and it was still midnight.
All the customers were busy chatting and enjoying their drinks. You found yourself craving some alcohol too, the need for an intoxicant substance was growing stronger and stronger, so you decided to mix just a little bit of something to treat yourself.
As you were filling in your glass, Renjun walked behind the counter and leaned close to your ear to speak, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to hear him through the loud chatting of the customers. “Man, I think we are in heaven, I lost count of my tips and I’m not even high yet” he said and you giggled at him.
He noticed the bottle of vodka you were holding and nudged you on your forearm. “Hey, pour me some of that too” he asked and your response was to grab a glass from the shelf behind the counter and fill it with the toxic liquid.
You had barely stopped filling in the glass when Renjun grabbed it and downed the liquid in an instant. He placed the glass on top of the counter with a thud and licked his lips, savoring the bitter taste. “What’s up with you and Mark?” Renjun asked you. You contemplated whether you should answer him or pretend you didn’t hear him just to buy you some time. A good couple of seconds passed so you just caved in and answered him.
“I don’t know. Go and ask him.” you said in a tone filled with nonchalance, sipping on your drink.
Renjun rested his elbows on the counter, his eyes scanning the place around him. “He said the exact same fucking thing when I asked him about you. You can’t be running in a vicious circle all the time. Just fuck it out, you’re both acting like little kids” he said and you sighed at his scolding tone.
Renjun wasn’t just your co-worker, he had also grown to become your best friend, a person you could talk to freely without fear of judgment because he always understood your intentions. Engulfed in your misery and loneliness, he was the person who helped you get back on your feet and have hope that things will somehow get slightly better. That sounds like something a friend would do.
You brought the glass to your lips to drink the last sip of vodka that was still inside, leaving it empty waiting to be filled with more of that toxic liquid. “You wanna know what, Renjun? Even though I hate the life I’ve made for myself, I enjoy having Mark in it. But I can’t do what he asks me to do. I can’t depend my entire life on him. I can count on him for some of it, yes, but starting anew with him? I don’t know. I really don’t. I’m not the kind of person you want to start a life with. I will fuck everything up. And he shouldn’t count on me as much as he does. It’s for the better. For both of us.”
Renjun kept staring at you, waiting for your little rant to be over so that he could take his turn to speak. He gulped and looked at your burnt out figure. Your eyeballs were turning a bit crimson due to the line of cocaine you snorted earlier, even though you promised you’d wait until Mark came later, and the lack of sleep provided you with dark hues under your eyes and skin as pale as the moon. 
“Look, Y/n,” Renjun started and came a bit closer to you so that he wouldn’t have to strain his vocal chords in order to be heard, “I see your point. And I understand exactly what you mean because I felt the same way when I came here. But in my case, I had nobody to lean on. I became an addict, left home and the rest of the story is familiar to you. But you and Mark have each other and, trust me, your future is looking way brighter than mine.”
You looked into his eyes searching for honesty. Renjun has always been honest with you and you never doubted any of his words. He really cared about you. Mark too, as it seemed. And he was right. Living in a cheap motel, starving and working long hours to barely make ends meet, depending on drugs and more specifically on an exceptionally lovely drug dealer wasn’t the life you imagined to have. But fate had different plans for you and now you ended up here, whatever this here is supposed to be.
Mark didn’t seem to be ill-intentioned. From the very first moment you met him, he was protective and caring, he had always treated you nice. He spoke to you softly and touched you in a just as smooth way. But the life he was living wasn’t that much better than yours; in fact, you could say it was even worse. He depended on you as much as you depended on him.
You didn’t know what was the thing that made you keep a sort of distance from him. Emotional distance. Part of it might be because you weren’t available to be fully devoted to him, because of fear that one day he would leave you, just like everyone else did. Part of it might be because the two of you weren’t so different and two broken souls mending together doesn’t necessarily make a fully healed one.
“I’ll talk to him when I’m ready. I could do it later but I’m afraid I’ll be too high to think rationally. Or maybe this will give me more insight, I don’t know, I’ve never thought of it. Do you think clearer when you’re high?” you asked Renjun but he was preoccupied, looking at the screen of his phone which radiated such brightness his eyes squinted as a reflex.
Scanning his features more carefully, you realized that the reason for his scrunched expression wasn’t lying solely on the brightness of the screen. You took half a step closer to him and Renjun tilted his phone away from you, hiding the screen from your eyesight.
“What’s wrong, Renjun?” you asked with worry lacing the tone of your voice. Renjun shook his head and put his phone away in his back pocket. “Mark won’t be coming by later. Something came up, I’m afraid we’re in trouble too. Listen, can you handle the bar for a couple hours by yourself? Mark needs some help” Renjun said, searching for his jacket underneath the counter.
Your eyes widened at Renjun’s words and you felt your heartbeat racing and your fingertips trembling. “Is Mark okay? Tell me, is he okay?” your rising voice quivered, betraying the nervousness you felt.
Renjun squeezed your shoulder and pressed his lips together in an attempt of a reassuring smile. “Yes, he is alright. He’s fine. He just needs some help with the cops. If you see anyone suspicious showing up, flash the stashes down the toilet, we don’t want them finding anything. I’ll be back soon.” 
With swift movements, Renjun turned his heel to walk out the bar in a hurry, muttering something under his breath that, due to your shocked and nervous state, you failed to hear, “How am I gonna save your ass this time, Mark?”
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As soon as you heard the bell on top of the bar’s front door tinkle, you knew that Renjun was already outside and you were left alone in the bar. You were left standing frozen behind the counter, staring into nothingness. Your vision became blurry due to the tears that threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes, your hands curled into fists and your nails were digging deep into your palms, cold sweat forming at the sides of your forehead.
You were terrified. Mark was already caught selling drugs very recently, so your mind went to the worst case scenario which made you extremely terrified; that Mark was caught selling drugs by the police. 
You dreaded this moment at the exact same time your eyes met Mark’s sharp ones. You knew that, once you became thick as thieves with a drug dealer, you would be in for a lot of trouble. 
But you also knew how careful Mark was and this gave you hope that, whatever the case is right now, he would find a way to get himself out of there. Mark was a smart guy. You wanted to trust him, you wanted to believe that he would be smart enough not to get himself in trouble.
Yet something didn’t add up. Mark has been doing these types of deals for a long time now, he knew all the tricks of the job and he knew very well how to protect himself. So it sounded almost impossible that he would do something so reckless and irresponsible to get him caught. 
There was only one possible and logical answer to all of your questions. That somebody ratted him out.
Your train of thought was disrupted by the husky voice of a man. “Excuse me, miss, would you mind pouring me a drink?”
Your head snapped at the sudden sound of a voice other than the one inside your head. Your eyes met with a man sitting on a barstool at the other side of the counter, looking at you with wary eyes. Your gaze was roaming all over his figure when your eyes halted for a second as soon as they spotted something shiny at the right side of the man’s chest; a badge.
You cleared your throat to cover up the anxiety and fear that started to appear in your voice. “Officer! What can I get you?” you greeted him with bright eyes and a cheerful voice that masked your intense heartbeat and the trembling state of your hands behind the counter.
“Actually, I don’t want a drink,” he started and moved his hand inside his jacket to pull out a file with pictures and papers, “but I do want you to help me with something. Have you ever seen this guy?” he asked you, placing the file on the counter and turning it to your side.
You gulped at the sight in the front of you and your eyes quivered from side to side. A mugshot of the face you grew to almost love was staring back at you. Sharp gaze and popping cheekbones, defined jawline and dark eyes were presented in front of you and you knew more than well enough who the person in the picture was.
Your heart sank at the sight of Mark’s mugshot and you knew what you had to do. You drew in your eyebrows together and lifted the picture with your hand in order to bring it closer to your eyes and examine it better. “I don’t think I recognize this man, officer” you said.
You set the picture down on top of the counter and looked at the police officer, not trying to avoid eye contact. You wanted to seem as less guilty as possible.
The police officer took the picture and put it back inside the file. “Really? That’s a shame. But I’ve been informed that you do know this guy because you were seen with him this morning.”
You froze immediately. Your brain tried to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, you tried to digest and connect everything the cop just said in order to form your answer.
“Are you sure about this, officer? A lot of other girls look like me, maybe it was a mistake?” you asked with a rising intonation in an attempt to defend yourself by adding another lie to your previous one.
You tried to remember where you could be possibly seen with Mark, especially during the day. You always met with him at night and you avoided seeing each other in the morning. There was no way anyone saw you with Mark.
The moment you had this thought, the answer to your question suddenly popped up in your head as if a lit up light bulb. That morning, you and Mark had breakfast down at the diner. And you specifically remember that suspicious guy who kept staring at the two of you.
That’s when you knew you had to do something drastic to get you out of this situation, and you had to do it relatively fast.
The police officer didn’t seem to buy the lie you had just uttered and continued to pressure you more. “Is this where you keep all the drinks? Can I take a look inside your storage room?”
The rhythm of your heartbeat kept increasing more and more by each word the police officer said and you were running out of lies and excuses.
“Sure, it’s this way officer” you said with a nonchalant tone, gesturing towards the door behind the counter. 
The cop stood up and turned his heel to walk behind the counter and towards the storage room door. Your trembling hands had barely managed to hide the stashes you kept behind the cash register under your oversized shirt, and you followed the cop inside the storage room with uncertain steps.
The police officer could not find the rest of the stashes. It shouldn’t happen, and you had to act smart in order to prevent it. “Can I help you with something, officer? We can’t stay in here for too long, my co-worker finished early and we’re not allowed to leave the bar without having anyone to tend to the customers” you said in an attempt to speed up the process and get rid of him before he could find anything that could put you in jail.
“You can go back to your work, miss. This is my job here, you can go and do yours” the cop said as he had already taken a bottle of vodka in his hand to examine it for anything suspicious.
“Okay, I just wanted to help. Call me if you need anything,” your answer was convincing enough for him, but it wasn’t good enough for you to buy you more time.
You left the storage room and stood right outside the door, leaving it so open as to let you peek through it so that you were able to see what the police officer was doing.
With your still trembling fingers, you took out your phone from your pocket and dialed Renjun’s number with quick movements. Without taking your eyes away from the cop, you kept tapping your foot waiting for Renjun to pick up his phone.
The constant beeping sound in your ear signaled that Renjun wasn’t going to respond soon, so you put your phone back in your pocket and tried to think of what to do.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you muttered under your breath, running your fingers through your hair. Your eyes were wavering from the police officer to the customers in the bar and then back to the police officer. You had to do something to get everyone out of there.
Your eyes followed the cop’s figure and certainly didn’t like what you were seeing. The cop squatted down so that he could reach the boxes under the shelves and stretched his arm to pull out one of them.
“No, no, no, fuck” you whispered. Those are the boxes in which you hid the drugs.
You turned your head to look at the inside of the bar. It was fully packed. There was not any chair or barstool that was empty and, just at that moment, the door opened to reveal a group of friends who wanted to get drunk and have fun just like the rest of the people inside the bar.
The only person who wasn’t having any fun right now was you. And obviously Mark and Renjun as well, who you had no idea about their whereabouts or their well-being. On any random night, all these people in the bar would equal a pretty satisfactory amount of tips that would make your life slightly easier to get by. However, you could definitely not say that for this particular night, when your main priority was your and your friends’ safety.
Shifting your gaze from the customers to the police officer and back to your phone for any missed calls or unread messages from either Renjun or Mark, you were completely on your own on this one. Cold sweat engulfed your entire body as the seconds passed and the cop was one step closer to finding the thing that could turn your entire life upside down.
You swallowed thickly and looked at your phone one last time. No sign of anybody.
“Okay, I got this” you muttered to yourself and walked behind the counter where you usually stood. A middle-aged woman was sitting on one of the barstools, smoking and sipping lightly from the cocktail you mixed for her earlier. You picked up the first bottle of alcohol you saw on the counter - you didn’t have the time to care what it was - and walked towards her.
“Excuse me, miss, would you like a refill?” you asked politely to gain her attention. Before she even opened her mouth to speak, your actions were faster than her words. You quickly snatched the cigarette from her hand and put it out on the counter, immediately pouring some alcohol right on that spot.
Soon enough, flames started building up and the counter caught on fire. The smell of smoke became suffocating and it was hard to breathe in such a small space full of people. Your plan worked.
Muttering a string of “sorrys” to the woman, you turned around to pull the fire alarm. Every customer turned their heads to the direction of the piercing sound full of worry. “Everyone must get out, the building is on fire!” you yelled as loudly as you could, motioning everyone out the door.
Very quickly, you managed to evacuate the building by leading all the panicked customers outside the bat through the front door. In the midst of all this chaos, you noticed with the corner of your eye the police officer you rushed out of the storage room without looking any scared at all. 
You ushered the last customers outside as the fire grew bigger, eventually leaving you and the cop as the only ones inside the flaming place. As he passed by you to get out the bar, he leaned closer to your face and whispered. "That was smart, young lady," he said and walked outside towards his car.
So he knew, you thought. He knew all along about the drug deals happening in this place and mainly the drug possession. He almost tricked you into thinking you tricked him. How amateurish of you.
You walked out the bar and shut the door behind you, watching the police officer drive away. A sigh of temporary relief escaped your lips and you pulled out your phone to dial a phone number you weren't particularly happy to call. Waiting for a few seconds, you heard the dreadful voice on the other line. "Hey boss, um, is it easy for you to come down to the bar? We kinda have a small problem" you said with a rapidly beating heart.
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The time was already 3:16. You were pacing around your motel room, patiently waiting for any news about Mark. You had already called and texted him multiple times, but all of your efforts to reach him went in vain.
A few minutes after you called your boss, she arrived at the bar, totally shocked and deeply saddened upon seeing her not-so-small business all up in flames. You explained to her what happened, shaping the story so as not to sound guilty, and luckily she didn't blame you for anything.
After the firefighters arrived, your boss encouraged you to go home, saying that you already went through a lot for the night, so you needed to get some rest.
So now you were back to your motel room, unable to get some rest because you were still scared about yourself and your previous interaction with that police officer. But most importantly, you were anxious about Mark.
You were terrified for him. And your fear only increased because you couldn’t do anything to help him or save him. You realized that you depended on him twice as much as he depended on you and that made you feel useless in situations like this. Knowing that Renjun was - probably - with him eased your nerves a bit, but, at the same time, knowing that you didn’t do anything to help him made you feel selfish and hopeless.
Everything you did tonight was to save no one else but yourself. The entire night, you kept worrying about yourself and how you could avoid going to jail when during those very same moments in time you had no idea how Mark was or what he was going through.
Mark wasn’t the helpless one in this situation; it was you.
As you picked up your phone to call Renjun again, a loud thumping noise on the door startled you. Your body jolted up upon hearing the sudden sound and you walked nervously towards the door to look outside through the peephole.
Your eyes widened in shock and surprise at the sight of the face that was constantly on your mind. You didn’t waste any time opening the door and pulling the boy you were aching to see all night long inside the motel room, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.
You rested your head in the crook of Mark’s neck and he reacted to your touch in an instant, stretching his arms to the small of your back to hug you as tightly as he physically could.
Tears fell from the corners of your eyes and you pulled back just as much as you needed in order to look into Mark’s exhausted eyes without breaking the embrace. “You can’t imagine how scared I was,” you whispered.
Mark stared deeply into your watery eyes. He moved his hands to cup both of your cheeks and nodded his head when he processed what you just said. “I know, I was terrified too. Renjun came to help me but we kinda fucked it up" he said with a stinging tone in his voice. 
“What happened?” you asked and Mark let go of you and walked towards the bed in the middle of the room, sitting on the edge of it. You copied his movements and sat down right next to him, turning your head to his side as you waited for him to fill you in on what you had missed.
“That bastard ratted me out. That asshole from the diner. I had a deal with some teenagers and he called the cops on me. I don’t even know how he tracked me down.” Mark confessed looking straight, his eyes full of void, focusing on nothing in particular. 
“Anyway, they took me to the police station and started questioning me about all this bullshit. There was no way I could excuse myself, they literally busted me, they saw me doing the deals. I texted Renjun and, I don’t know what he said to them but it didn't go well," he stopped to take a deep breath despite the desert that formed inside his mouth and the waterfalls that were forming in the corners of his eyes, "so we basically ran away and sooner or later the police will find me. I had nowhere else to go and I knew that your place would be relatively safe." Mark finished reciting you the events of the last few hours, tears staining his cheeks like the raindrops of a drizzle.
The dried tears that stained your cheeks became wet again when the new set of them fell down your face. You were staring at Mark through your teary gaze, trying to find any emotion in his void expression. He had never looked so soulless and it terrified you even more.
But the truth is that Mark himself was trying to mask his fear and anxiety by not showing them. The tears that traveled from his bambi eyes down to his popping cheekbones felt empty and the sight of him in such a state brought a stinging pain to your heart.
“So w-what does that mean?” your voice trembled at each word you uttered as you faced Mark with nothing but fear and another emotion that, at that moment, resembled love.
Mark made an attempt to wipe most of the tears off his face with the palms of his hands so that he could face you with clear vision. “It means I might go to jail. I will go to jail, unless I get out of here” he said. “Fuck, those bastards gave me an excuse to leave this fucking place” Mark scoffed as he sat up from the bed and started roaming around the narrow room, hands resting on his waist.
Your eyes trailed on every single one of his moves. You blinked several times to prevent any more tears from falling and cleared your throat to avoid your hoarse trembling voice. “So you’re really leaving” you said quietly, more to yourself than to Mark.
Mark turned around to look at you. “Yeah, I am. First thing in the morning. I don’t have many things to pack so it won’t take me long. And I can help you pack your things too, it will be quicker if-”
“Who said I’m coming with you?” you interrupted Mark and you immediately regretted doing so once you met his fuming gaze, which was now completely taken over by anger but was previously filled with nothing but emptiness.
“Y/n, we agreed to this. You’re coming with me and that’s it.” Mark growled as he took a step closer to you.
You stood up and started walking nervously around the place you called home, running your fingers through your hair in an attempt to ease your nerves. “We never agreed to anything. I told you I can’t-”
“Bullshit, that’s what you told me. Everything you said is bullshit. I want nothing but the best for you, we’ve been meaning to do this for such a long time and now that we have every reason to leave, you don’t want to! What’s wrong with you Y/n?” Mark clapped back at you.
A tear dropped down to your feet as you looked at Mark’s reddening face. Your lips trembled in your attempt to voice out your feelings, unfamiliar to your vulnerable state. “I’m scared, Mark,” you paused to sniff your nose, “I’m so fucking scared. For you, for me, for everything.”
Mark’s features softened at your sudden confession. He remained silent, gesturing to you to move on.
It was hard and unusual for you to open up to him like this. You hated the fact that he made you weak, that he had such a strong effect on you to make you eventually do as he says. But there was always this evil little voice in your head that told you not to trust him because, in the end, he would act just like everyone else and leave you.
“Do you know how scared I was tonight? I almost risked my fucking life for you! I had no idea where you were, I didn’t know what happened or why, and you know why? Because you never tell me anything! You only care about yourself,” all your fears and anxieties exploded and the outburst was so big you didn’t know how to stop. And you couldn’t stop even when you took a glimpse of Mark’s furrowed eyebrows and frowned lips, which you couldn’t tell if they were the result of sadness or anger.
You didn’t want to hurt him. But at this state, you couldn’t remain silent anymore. It wasn’t Mark’s fault, but you had reached a point where you couldn’t bottle up anything you felt anymore, so he just had to take everything you said.
You took a deep breath before you licked your dry lips to speak again in a calmer but still bitter tone. “If only you would disappear from my life I would-”
You never completed your sentence because Mark dashed towards you and grabbed you by the neck, squeezing the sides just so, so you could breathe a little bit, his face only a couple inches away from yours. “Shut the fuck up” Mark spat out with a growl which immediately kept you quiet.
His blackened eyes were piercing right through you, his fully black pupils bore into your wavering ones. You stood frozen there, completely locked in your place under Mark’s forceful hold on you, a position which made your lower stomach twitch.
Neither of you spoke for a few seconds. Mark’s face was painted in crimson, his eyebrows fully drawn in together and his nostrils flaring out, as he tried to keep his breathing steady. His angry state scared you even more; not because he would hurt you, but because he could hurt himself. Behind the mask of the angry man he presented himself as, you were the only one who could see the sad little boy who wanted nothing else from you but to love and trust him.
With Mark’s hand still pressing on your neck, your voice barely came out when you tried to speak. “Mark please, say someth-”
Mark interrupted you once again by smashing his lips on yours with the same force he held you under him and the same desperation he hid behind his bloody gaze. You didn’t waste a second, responding in an instant to him, moving your lips to the pace and rhythm he settled. You slightly parted your lips to allow him access to deepen it even more, as he slid his tongue in your mouth to dance with yours.
His presence and strong grip was too much to endure, so you stretched your arms to grab his hair. Mark sensed your need for more support, so he lessened the pressure on your neck and moved his free arm to the small of your back.
The previously quiet room was filled with the lewd sounds of your lips and tongues and the soft grunts and whimpers that left your lips in between each violent connection between them. You hadn’t realized how much you needed Mark, how much you had missed his touch and his burning essence on you until this very moment. Your body reacted to him almost immediately, as you felt your blood flow from your heart down to your aching core.
The heated argument from earlier was now completely forgotten and transformed into a passionate battlefield between two broken souls. Mark's crack infused breath, the bitter taste of alcohol on his dry lips and the lust overtaking his brain and controlling his actions electrified your entire body. There was not a single part of you that didn't want Mark, that didn't desire him and you couldn't help but want more of him.
Your brain, too foggy from the bold emotions and the alcohol you had consumed earlier, couldn't work properly, so your primal instincts took over you entirely. You kept kissing Mark while biting on his lower lip, which resulted in low whines coming out of him, his hardening length growing more inside the pressure of his pants.
You could sense him struggling to keep his cool and you were trying to give yourself some friction too by rubbing your thighs together. You reached your hand down to Mark's pants, cupping his dick outside the thick fabric of his jeans, the teasing action causing him to roll back his eyes.
Mark stopped kissing you abruptly and without wasting any time, he threw you on the bed with all his strength, watching you with hungry eyes. You plopped down on the bed, the sheets creasing at the sudden force and you looked at him with a lustfull gaze that invited him in.
"Wanna fuck you so dumb right now" Mark growled lowly as he took off his shirt from the back of his neck in a swift motion and continued to unbuckle his belt, his eyes never leaving your pleading ones.
You followed along, removing your own shirt and shorts, lying in bed only in your underwear. Mark had now discarded himself completely off of all his clothes except from his boxers, which had an undeniably visible precum stain on them.
Mark's body hovered above yours, connecting his lips with yours for a brief moment before he pulled back to attack your neck, biting and nipping on the spot right under your ear, which earned a loud gasp from you.
His lips kept on abusing your neck area, as you locked your fingers in his hair, tugging and pulling at it with every bite on your neck and chest. The hot sensation of his lips, tongue and wet saliva all over your body made you whimper under him, a sound that made his cock twitch inside his underwear.
Mark traveled lower down to your chest. He slipped his hand behind your back to undo your bra, removing the bra straps off your shoulders eagerly and tossing the piece of clothing somewhere in the dirty motel room. He was quick to attack your hard nipples, dropping his head to suck on one of them, and reaching the other one with his hand, twisting and rubbing it between his fingers.
Your moans and whimpers echoed in the room, the sound and smell of your bodily fluids polluted the small space, everything about the inside of the place being purely filthy.
The heat in your body kept rising and you could feel the stickiness in your panties. You wanted Mark, all of him. You wanted him to treat you however he wanted to, you wanted to please him by giving him all of you and you wanted to feel desired by him.
"Please Mark," you breathed in a soft moan, "please fuck me" your face reddened in your pathetic confession, but it didn't seem to stop Mark from ripping your panties apart, leaving your dripping cunt exposed to the dirty cold air of the room.
Your drowsy eyes and rapid breathing fueled Mark and all his inner needs, as he lifted his body off yours and parted your legs with his hands, pushing your thighs apart. You were breathing heavily in anticipation of his next move, which was a sharp slap to your pussy that sent a strong bolt of pleasure through your whole body. You moaned in pleasure and surprise and Mark repeated his action at the sound of your whiny moans.
"You're a pathetic little slut after all, aren't you?" Mark lowered his head and spat on your pussy, which had you clenching around nothing. "Look at you, begging to be fucked" he brushed one finger up and down your clit, just enough to tease you and elicit a sharp intake of breath from you. "You really pissed me off, you know?" he muttered.
"Please Mark, I want you. I need you so bad, please fuck me" you whined with a high-pitched voice, the one you knew that Mark could never resist, as you pouted your lips at him.
Mark rested his hands on your knees, holding your legs as far apart as possible, so as to have full access to your glistening cunt. His dark eyes were filled with nothing but hunger and lust, unable to control himself any longer from how bad he wanted to taste you. He lowered his head even further, brushing his lips over your clit.
"As you wish, princess" he mumbled to your wet core before he attacked your swollen bud, licking and sucking on your clit with absolutely no remorse.
A loud moan escaped from your lips at the abrupt touch of Mark's wet tongue on your pussy, your hands intertwining in his hair, grabbing and pulling at every licking stripe Mark left on you.
He kept on licking and sucking on your clit, mumbling sweet nothings and small praises, which reminded you more of the Mark you knew rather than the cold and hungry man that was presented in front of you a few minutes ago.
The lewd sounds of Mark's lips and tongue on your pussy mixed with your whiny moans turned him on to the fullest, as he pulled one of his hands away from your knee and dropped it down to slowly pump his dick underneath his underwear.
The burning desire rising up in his body was becoming too much for him, so he pulled away from your clit with one last sucking pop and took off his underwear, setting free his painfully hard length.
Mark positioned himself between your legs and with a swift motion, he turned you over to your stomach, pulling you by your hips so that your ass was higher up towards him.
"Need to fuck you so bad" Mark growled as he smacked your ass cheek with a sharp slap, your pussy clenching at the burning sensation.
"Please, Mark" you whined in the pillow, a tear rolling down your face and landing on the sheets as a response to the overstimulation taking over your body.
The way you kept whining his name and the juices almost dripping down your thighs had Mark gritting his teeth. He gave himself a few more light strokes as he positioned his dick right at your entrance. Without giving you any warning, he dived into your pussy with a sharp stroke.
You shut your eyes in pleasure and gripped the sheets tightly until your knuckles went white as Mark pounded into with sharp rhythmic strokes, each one pushing your head further into the pillow.
Your moans were coming out as crying mumbles as your face was buried deep in the sheets. Mark kept his pace and force, his head lolling back at the intensity of the moment. He kept his one hand on your hip in order to keep you steady while, with the other one, he reached down to grab a fistful of your hair, tugging at it and pulling it roughly, an action that triggered your hot tears to spill from your eyes at the pure sense of pleasure.
Mark's breathing was heavy and sharp at the sound of your soft growns and the sight of your ass jiggling at each stroke he left. "Is this what you wanted, pretty? Me fucking you so good you end up a crying fucking mess?" Mark provoked you in a voice as deep as the ocean, his groans low and hot like the pits of hell.
The sound of skin slapping on skin echoed inside the four walls of your motel room. Mark's hips connected with your ass in an intense force and a static speed, as he hit the spot that always brought you closer to the edge.
"I-I'm close, Mark, p-please" you whined as he gradually took you closer to your limits, your lower stomach twitching in pleasure and your jaw going slack as you felt your climax rising more and more.
"Let this pretty pussy cum on my dick, come on baby" Mark growled and with that, you let out a high-pitched groan into the pillow as your pussy clenched around Mark's dick, the forceful grip of your hands on the sheets was slowly loosened.
You felt Mark's strokes become sloppier as you coated his length with your warm fluids. He quickly pulled out and turned you over so your back was touching the soft mattress. He moved his body closer to you, pumping his dick slowly as he brought the tip to your lips, brushing softly against them as an invitation to take in his dripping cock.
"Open up for me, pretty" his fully blackened eyes bore into your teary ones. You slowly opened your mouth and Mark quickly pushed his cock into it, moving his hips as you bobbed your head up and down, sucking on his veiny length.
"That's right, baby. Such a good girl" Mark whimpered as he slowly released into your mouth, his hot cum dripping down your throat. You swallowed all of it completely before he pulled out and laid down on the bed next to you, both of your heavy panting echoing in the now quiet room.
Mark took a few seconds to ease his breathing and turned to the nightstand above his head to search for the pack of cigarettes you kept hidden in the small drawer. He took one cigarette out of the box and brought it to his lips. With the lighter you kept inside that very same drawer, he lit it up, smoke immediately coming out of it. The room now smelled like a mix of sex and smoke, and you winced at the odd yet satisfying combination. Mark took a long drag out of the cigarette and then puffed the smoke into the filthy air.
As soon as you caught your breath, you turned your body towards Mark's, looping your arm around his waist and resting your head on his chest. Mark responded to your intimate touch, wrapping his free arm around your shoulders, stroking your hair lightly. He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and then brought the cigarette again to his lips.
After the long and terrifying day you had, you finally felt at ease. Your heart was beating normally, your breathing was steady and your mind was blank. All you could do was savor this moment with Mark, wrapped around his arms and listening to his beating heart, a sound that promised you that everything would be alright.
"Please don't leave me, Mark. I wouldn't know what to do without you" you whispered to him as you slowly drifted away to deep sleep. Mark didn't say anything back. He kissed your forehead again instead and inhaled deeply, exhaling in a long sigh, as his eyes were fixed outside the window, looking over at the bright city lights.
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Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of chirping birds outside your window. From the way the room was illuminated and from the shadows that formed behind every object, you could tell that it was only a few minutes after sunrise, and the bright orange sun confirmed your speculation.
With your eyes still half-open, you stretched your arms above your head and groaned, a soft yawn leaving your pouty lips. You then shifted between the sheets, turning your body to the other side of the bed, moving your arms around in search of the drug dealer’s toned body, the one that hugged you tight to sleep.
“Good morning, Markie” you mumbled, still half asleep. You rested your head on the pillow, still patting the mattress when you couldn’t sense the male beside you. Your eyes widened in an instant and your body quickly adjusted to the awake state. You were focused on the other side of the bed, where the boy you spent the previous night with would be lying sound asleep. Instead, you were met with nothing but tangled bedsheets.
“Mark?” you called again, in hopes that maybe he was in the bathroom and he couldn’t hear you. No response.
You yanked the sheets off you and rushed to the bathroom, opening the squeaky door with more force than you intended. “Mark?” you called, but the calling was in vain.
Maybe he went down to the diner to get us breakfast, you thought. It was still very early in the morning, but the diner never closed during the night, so there might be some leftovers or, if you were lucky, some fresh food at this hour.
So you decided to wait for him, thinking that his whereabouts were probably the old diner. Since you were now fully awake, you decided to take a shower and change into some fresh clothes. It will only be a few minutes, Mark will probably be back by the time I’m finished, you thought.
So you hopped into the shower, letting the warm water fall down your tense shoulders in order to ease your nerves and help your body physically relax. Your mind brought up the memories of the previous night you spent with Mark. You thought about the cop that came to the bar, you thought about the fact that Mark was in serious danger, you thought about your argument with him and how you made up afterwards by having steamy sex, just like every other time.
You didn’t know how to label your relationship with Mark, or whatever you had with him. He was more than a friend but less than a lover. He protected you, cared for you, helped you with any troubles you had and was always there for you, whatever it took for him. And what did you do for him in return? Nothing.
You did absolutely nothing, at least nothing that could compare to what he did for you. And you hated yourself for not being able to pull him out of his misery, even for the slightest bit, when he could even go as far as to move mountains just to see you crack a smile.
You didn’t deserve him; yet you were too selfish to let him go. He was a soul that wanted to fly and be free, but his wings were weighed down by your annoying fears and anxieties for the unknown.
The water dripping down your body suddenly turned cold and you immediately turned off the faucet and ran out of the shower, wiping your body dry with a towel. There was still no sight of Mark, so you quickly put on some fresh clothes and searched throughout the room in order to find your phone and call him.
Your eyes scanned every corner of the room where you could have possibly left your phone, when your gaze dropped to the wooden chair across the bed, the one where Mark usually sat when he played the guitar, only to find a folded piece of paper.
You stepped closer to the chair, picking up the piece of paper and turning it around. With shaky hands, you slowly unfolded it and a shiny bright red guitar pick fell on the floor. You picked it up, bringing it closer to your eye only to recognize it as one of Mark’s favorite ones.
You held the pick between your fingers and sat down at the wooden chair, looking at the wrinkly piece of paper. Written with a dark pencil, you recognized the sloppy handwriting and the small neat letters as none other than Mark’s and you couldn't help but feel your eyes sting in threatening tears as you slowly read and processed each heartfelt word he wrote:
Dear Y/n,
You’re probably reading this because you can’t see me in your room. But don’t bother look, because I have already left for a better, safer life and I won’t be coming back.
So here’s everything I couldn’t bring myself to say last night.
I love you deeply, Y/n. And I know your feelings towards me differ from my feelings towards you, but I’m not scared to hide it. You’re afraid of the power your heart holds and I understand that. For that, I will give you time, as much as you need to learn how to use this power.
I don’t know if I am a strong man or a coward for leaving; that I’m not sure of. But what I’m sure of is my life, and right now my life is in danger. I always spoke to you about how I wanted to have a normal life, to escape from this hell hole and build a different path for me.
Most importantly, I wanted to build this path with you. You’re the only thing that made this hell hole bearable, the only thing that gave me purpose, the thing that made my life have a meaning.
But I took some time to think and I realized that I can’t force you to follow the same path as me, no matter how much I need you or how much I want only what’s best for you.
So I left. I left to build this new path and I will try as hard as I can. I don’t care if I fail, because I know I can keep on trying and, no matter where you are, just the thought of you gives me strength.
I’m leaving you a piece of me behind though. My favorite guitar pick. I want you to have it. You can keep it, burn it, destroy it, I don’t care what you’ll do with it. I just want you to have something to remember me, something that means to me as much as you do.
So, for the meantime, mark me in your heart like I have marked you in mine, and think about what makes you truly happy. If you ever change your mind, you already know where to find me.
Your beloved,
M.
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Idk personally I think if your profits are so high in every category that the only way to make them higher is start subtracting from how much you pay workers and ending things like shared accounts accounts just to falsely Create new users then it's time to admit you did it.
That there's nothing left. Everything has been capitalized as much as it can be. You won capitalism.
Was it not enough?
Having more money than most of us can even imagine, more security and food, more access to healthcare and much higher quality healthcare at that? Being able to spit on the people beneath you or have the cops show up on demand when you call. All the power. Knowing you can buy politicians and set up your own fucked up chess game.
Having all that and asking for more. Trying to bleed what's already run dry.
How is it possible that these people are trying to find MORE to take?
How is it that everything is not enough?
What is their long game you know? Like there are people making those decisions at Amazon and Unilever and Nestle. To just die rich? Is that it? Have capitalists considered what happens when they reach the end of capitalist potential?
All this suffering just so they can die with some extra zeros in their account? A man made currency put in a digital space? Like let's be real her for a second: it's fucking fake. Money isn't anymore real than the tooth fairy.
And this is the best way for society to function? The earth?
Leeching off one another like parasites for made up currency until we kill each other over it?
None of us are even happy. People who like capitalism will never even be happy with it. Nothing will ever be enough.
How is this worth it? Why aren't we punching every rich asshole in the face?
Why do oil execs still feel comfortable leaving their houses? Jeff Bezos should be afraid of the public. The Waltons should exist strictly as recluses who then die in a fire. I want to see rich people desperately trying to give away their money because someone keeps spray painting "Rich Cunts Are Still Hollow" across their houses. I want the Kardashians and Carters to need a bodyguard detail taking the kids to school.
You know?
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ageingfangirl2 · 1 year
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Hello👋😊 I would like to know if it was possible to do a story in which Buggy(still a "prisoner" of the Straw Hats ) started to feel strange(in a good way of course) with Y/N. After a day, the Reader, who had the task of repairing any damage of the ship, but it was a very hot day and Y/N, in order to stay cooler while working, decided to take off her top, leaving just the bikini top and the shorts. But without realizing that she was being watched by a head👀🤭Buggy began to observe the drops of sweat running down to her back, chest and forehead, leaving him with a strange feeling about Y/N👀🤭❤️‍🔥
Sorry if the recommendation is too long😅😅
I Finally See You! Buggy (OPLA) *REQUEST* - Female Reader
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Part 2
BUGGY
This was something I'd never live down, being held hostage, well my head being held hostage by a bunch of young adult pirates calling themselves The Straw Hat Pirates. When I first met them there were only three of them but now that number had doubled and I didn't like being outnumbered. They took it in turns looking after my head, but I hardly got taken out of that stinky bag they kept me in. Once I got my body back I'd bounce, and the next time they crossed me I would come out on top.
The only member of this stupid crew I could stand was y/n. I wasn't sure what they did, but they were quiet and kept to themselves making them an easy target. They had some past trauma and hardly any real-world experience so I could be a flirt and perverted and they took it on the chin. Until Zoro nearly threw me into the sea and told me to watch my tongue or lose it. y/n made an innocent remark asking if my tongue could also detach, and after a wink and a 'shall we find out together kitten' comment Zoro sent my head flying across the deck.
Y/N
It was a hot day and you'd told Luffy you'd fix the damage done by Garp, but working under the hot sun was intense. You were in a pair of shorts and a loose blouse now drenched in sweat which clung to your body. Thinking you are alone you take off the blouse revealing the skimpy blue bikini stop Nami had convinced you to buy and the matching bottoms under your shorts. Little did you know someone was watching you.
BUGGY
The dumb swordsman was sleeping again, this time finding himself shade while leaving me exposed in the sweltering sun. I was about to unload a range of colourful insults when the sound of hammering caught my attention. I hop a little on my barrel and gulp, my eyes fixated on y/n of all people. They were inches away from me bent over fixing the side of the ship unaware of my presence.
I assumed y/n was a prude only having seen them in trousers and long sleeves, but I licked my dry lips and raised my eyebrows seeing them in shorts that left little to the imagination and long legs that would be perfectly wrapped around my waist as they rode me.
I shake my head, what was I thinking? y/n was fun to mess with and nothing more.
Next thing I know y/n is taking off the blouse, and if I was attached to my body I might have just got a hard-on. Why did y/n choose to hide such a magnificent body? The blue bikini top is the same shade as my hair, and I vaguely remember y/n saying their favourite colour was blue. As y/n picks up a glass of water I allow my eyes to wander, like a moth to a flame. Noticing how small their hands were as they reached up to wipe sweat from their brow, but could probably easily wrap around my dick, and how when they arched their back their chest jutted out and little droplets of sweat run down them. Fuck, they would look good arching beneath me.
I curse and y/n gasps loudly hearing me, 'Oh my god--'
I smirk, 'Not god kitten, but I can be whoever you want me to be.'
I'm surprised they don't immediately cover up, instead leaning down to my height giving me a very nice view of their chest, 'Did Zoro leave you in the sun?'
I pout, playing the sympathy card, y/n was too nice and I loved attention, 'wouldn't even give me any water, I'm parched kitten.'
y/n liked cats so my nickname was appropriate, even if they didn't understand the real meaning behind it.
'You can share my glass Buggy, I'll scold Zoro later,' y/n huffs, clearly annoyed at the swordsman as they bring the water to my lips and I start drinking, 'I'll give them a right tongue lashing...I think I overheard Sanji say that once.'
I spit out the water and it lands on y/n's chest, soaking into the material, 'you're one of a kind y/n. if you need any advice I'm sure I could offer some lip service. Maybe when the others are sleeping.'
y/n blushes and I'm not quite sure if they understand me, 'I think we've both had too much sun Buggy, let's get us both inside and you can stay with me for the rest of the day.'
Before I can protest y/n picks me up, and for a split second I'm pressed between their breasts before they turn my head. y/n was going to be the death of me, and I wasn't going to look at them the same way ever again.
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lexithwrites · 2 months
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Moonwater head canons? How Sirius reacts, how they get together etc
This might get super long + I’ll throw some nsfw in there for fun:
- Remus wasn’t around as much as James was growing up but when he was, little regulus would always stare at him and he never knew why
- he was pretty average looking but there was something there that regulus liked
- and as they grew up, and he transitioned and came out, reg realised it’s because Remus is just a nice fucking guy
- regulus doesn’t really date at all (personal opinion) because he never really felt interested in it, sex too, it seemed too much so he doesn’t have much experience but he’s confident in what he likes and has very high standards
- Remus unfortunately gets fucked over a lot, he has a big heart and just wants to care for someone and people don’t appreciate that as much as they should so he’s been dumped a couple times
- but then one night when they group all goes drinking regulus touches remus’ arm during a conversation and something just shifts between them. They’re gently bumping arms and knees and their pinkies brush, Remus buys reg some drinks and regulus just leans his head on his shoulder most of the night
- Sirius knows. Sirius isn’t stupid, he can see it coming a mile away but wants one of them to come and tell him first, just in case
- they stay close after that and regulus texts Remus a lot because he doesn’t want to stop talking and Remus always smiles when he gets a new message
- then their relationship shifts into flirting and Remus is done for. He gets SO flustered and blushing because regulus is good at flirting with him, usually he’s not great but there’s something about Remus that let’s a new side out and he loves it
- he also starts getting off to thoughts of him and he’s usually lying in bed panting just wishing Remus was with him
- Remus is quiet but he has the filthiest mind when it comes to reg and he’s caught staring at him so many times it’s crazy
- then one night reg invites Remus over for dinner and after some glasses of wine reg just kisses his neck during a movie and they make out for SO long
- there’s grinding and touching and it’s the most intimate they’ve ever felt and it’s so beautiful
- they don’t have sex for quite a while after actually dating bevause they don’t feel rhe need to rush, plus making out and dry humping is fun af
- remus’ favourite thing to do is grab reg’s ass and squeeze and regulus likes holding remus’ bicep and drawing circles on his skin to make him shiver
- they kiss,,,all the time
- when they do eventually sleep together it’s slow and steady, and Remus makes it romantic so they’re both comfortable
- reg doesn’t get off the first time and Remus almost cried because he felt so guilty but then regulus later guides him during head and he cums so hard he tears up and Remus holds him so tight
- they shower together not even for sexual reasons it’s just practical and fun
- regulus goes non verbal around Remus a lot because he’s comfortable and Remus loves taking care of him during those moments
- he kisses reg’s hair and strokes his cheek to reassure him he’s happy to look after him
- regulus hates mornings but he wakes up early to get Remus coffee because his man has insomnia and wants to sleep in
- when they get more comfortable sexually they start getting more adventurous and they love trying new positions
- remus’ favourite is bending reg over things/prone bone whilst wrapping an arm around regulus and reg loves riding, but they both love missionary for the eye contact
- there isn’t a dom/sub dynamic with them but they’ve tried things before
- reg has called Remus daddy and even tho it’s rare it can be fun for Remus to take charge like that
- Remus does call reg sir a lot, it’s gender affirming but also regulus likes being in charge
- and Remus calls reg puppy/gets called puppy by reg when he’s really desperate (pet play Remus you’ll always be a star)
- reg doesn’t always like penetration and Remus is more than fucking happy to have his face ridden or be on his knees for his man any time of day (reg LOVES oral, giving and receiving)
- but besides sex they’re a very soft, intimate couple. They cook together, read together, nap and shower together, all of it
- they’re attached at the hip but still individuals and it’s a good balance
- Sirius was also happy when they told him, they never hid it and wanted his blessing first and he hugged them both
- but he did give them separate talks about not hurting each other otherwise he’d be mad
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drurrito · 7 months
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Home
A/N: You're going to have to pry retired!avengers reader x Natasha au from my cold, dead hands. Anyway, I wanted to see if I could quickly churn out a little something before needing to focus my attention on this stupid MSJ memo.
From a drabble list: #34 - "The boxes are all labeled incorrectly."
Parings: Natasha x Reader
Warnings: time...and it's a little angsty ig but there's a happy ending.
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You slice through the tape with ease and toss the box cutter to the side.
"Huh, so that's where I packed my boxing gear," you lift your gloves out of the box and set them aside. Moving has been anything but a breeze. Natasha finally pried your last remaining stubborn fingers that had a death grip on your life as an Avenger. Your retirement party was too-perfect. Even Fury was there to send you off. You hated it. Natasha knew from the jump you wanted to die an Avenger, not some washed-up hero that spent retirement trying to find anything to fill the bottomless void left from no longer being needed by the world anymore.
But you love Natasha much, much more than you hate not being an Avenger.
She tried to make it up to you, even picking a house that has a home theater and game room for your poker nights with Tony and the boys. Someplace by the beach while being close enough to the S.H.I.E.L.D. training facility so you can sleep in as long as possible before having to train recruits.
Your new life scares you much more than any bullet, bomb, or power-hungry warlord ever could.
You hear the front door open and keys drop onto the new marble counter that Natasha spent weeks curating. The familiar clicking of heels draws nearer. You feel your wife's nails drag across your back before her fingers dig into the knots between your shoulders.
"There you are," Natasha's voice is so gentle, it has been since your retirement party. She always knew what she wanted with you, and you never gave her reason to doubt you would meet her halfway. Retirement was the last step she needed you to take into this new chapter of your lives. Most people would have rather opted to watch paint dry, but she would have waited forever for you if you needed it.
"How's the unpacking going?" Natasha rests her head on top of yours, letting her arms drape around your neck. You instinctively lean back into her and take a few breaths. Among the most chaotic scenes, Natasha has always been your safe place to land.
"We're making some progress," you trail off, both of your eyes scanning the room that's littered in torn, sliced, and otherwise unopened boxes. You feel Natasha heave a loud sigh against your back. Her arms come up to your shoulders to give you a sympathetic squeeze.
"Wait, why are my dishes in your underwear box?"
You chew on your bottom lip for a moment to buy yourself some time, "because...the boxes are labelled incorrectly."
"And who was in charge of labelling the boxes?"
"I was," you try not to sound so deflated, Natasha's laugh echoes through the mostly empty house.
"Should've hired the recruits to do our dirty work," she smirks and pulls out her phone, "I'll get us take out."
You watch her rattle off your favorite order as she walks down a barren hallway. Maybe retirement won't be so bad after all.
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waffledforbreakfast · 1 month
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Roommate - [MUTI! BLLK X F!READER]
Staring: Rin, Shidou, Sae, Niko, Kaiser, Ness, Otoya, Karasu, Reo
[ BLLK Scenario Masterlist ]
TW: heavy ooc (I MEAN HEAVY. forgive me, it gets a bit better later chapts i swear), bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, etc.
 Bllk as your Roomate 
>Rin
It feels like he’s never home. But he is. You two always somehow eat dinner at the same time, so you eat together. He doesn’t mind :> You ask about his day (he’s not used to people caring, is secretly happy) and he’ll tell you about all the stupid things Bachira did that day LOL
He’ll even invite you to watch horror movies with him (he tells himself it’s because he can’t finish his popcorn)
If you have extra tickets to a festival, he’ll gladly come along! (he insists it’s because it’d be a waste of tickets if he didn’t) 
A/N: Imagine if he runs into bachira and isagi there LOL
>Shidou
Y’all know about his morning routine- right??
No need for an alarm, this rat is never late.
Will barge into your room without asking, and rant to you about his day
He’s a great listener though, and he’ll offer to do your makeup! (He will be sad if you say no :c)
Great relationship advice. You have no clue where it comes from
He can and will comment on your outfits
Will draw you (i love artist Shidou)
Brings you left-overs from when he goes out (unless he dragged u along LOL)
>Sae
This man wakes up early. Too early.
He’d wake you up too (accidently) 
Used to order take out like everyday. Until you came along and actually cooked good meals. 
The first time he just eyed your food with a blank expression. You had no idea what he wanted XD
you awkwardly offered him some, he couldn’t resist and tried it
He then said he’d pay you to cook for him
When he goes out and sees smt you might like, he’ll send you a picture and ask for your thoughts. If you take too long he’ll just buy it
Will tell you about his day (after he naps)
>Niko
Will often just knock and peak into your room to see what you’re doing for no particular reason other than wanting to check up
Runs to you after reading a new chapter of his manga
“nOOOOO THEY KILLED HIM😭” sorta vibes yk? If you’re reading the same thing, you’d have to stop him from giving your spoilers, to which he’d wait patiently for you to finish so he can rant to you
Share your theories on animes/mangas together
Can’t cook, but he’ll buy the materials if you need them :3
Please get this boy a plushie, I think he’d love it sm
Man has his earbuds in 24/7 tho ;v;
He’d come into your room to steal manga
>Kaiser
Keeps calling you Ness outta instinct
This lead to you not cooking for him anymore (you’re not too sure when you agreed to cook for him in the first place, but he just kinda expected it-)
Will complain about said food, but then apologize and beg you to keep cooking once he realized you’re serious about stopping
Asks for your opinion on a lot of things “This outfit looks good right?” “Who do you think is the best striker?” “You like milk?!?!” etc. though you’re not sure if he actually cares about your answer
Kaiser would pace, rant, and talk to himself on a (concerningly) normal basis
This man would silently fold anytime you give him a genuine compliment though
He finds your affirmations very comforting, that’s why he asks you to compliment him so often LOL
He’d often give you bread. Just- bread. He’ll come home with a bagged baguette in his hands, and give it to you with a proud smile
>Ness
This man does *everything* 
Ness calls you Kaiser on instinct too
Will get on his knees and apologize when he does so 
Genuinely shocked when you shrug it(the kaiser calling) off
Non-stop talking about Kaiser turns into non-stop talking about you XD 
“Omg you look so pretty today :D” “Let me dry your hair for you :3” “Can I braid it?” etc.
Has no clue what to do when you ask him about his day because no one has ever asked him before
But he’ll start ranting about it, and look over at you every few seconds to see if you’re listening and if you’re ok with him going on :>
Insists on doing all the house chores (except for cooking, he likes your cooking, but’ll still do it if asked)
>Otoya
…Does anyone actually want this man as a roomie??(Me.)
Would leave a mess EVERYWHERE and is genuinely shocked when you don’t offer to clean up
The way he acts has you questioning his upbringing…
Eats all your food, brings people over constantly, probably broke a plate and didn’t bother cleaning it up
The only thing he offers in return is to make out-
His jaw drops when/if you decine 
>Karasu
Watches TV in the living room typa guy (ik that’s what ur supposed to do, but let’s be honest, y’all are prob cooped up in your room reading this)
Whenever you leave your room and enter his line of vision, he just stares 
It’s genuinely unsettling. So like a normal person, you stare back. You’ve now been staring at each other for 2 minutes
Any/all gifts Karasu gives are things he observed from you (ex.Favourite food, scent, show, etc.) and I’m sure you’ll do the same in return 
Will message you random pics he finds funny
 “[Pic of a party hat on a trash can] haha, look at this”
If you cook for him, he’ll order takeout for you
>Reo
He’s either the best roomie, or the worst-
You guys never run out of food or supplies, and always have something fun to do
He’ll take you out on the weekend to do fun stuff, and you two get along pretty well!
As long as you don’t question why he has so many toothbrushes, he’s pretty chill :> 
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A/N: no an :3
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al-the-remix · 3 months
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Six Sentence Saturday (or something like that)
Starting on my second bucktommy fic 😌 This was inspired by a post I'm pretty sure @unfuckablebogtroll made a few months ago that I can't find anymore, but the gist is that Tommy buys his house during the 2007/8 financial crash, refinances during covid, and has been saving since then to be able to renovate it himself. In this fic Buck's obviously going to volunteer to help Tommy out ( with his previous construction experience and all) and slowly insinuate himself into Tommy's home without either of them fully realizing it...at first. Buck learns Tommy as he learns more about his house: starting the inside and working outwards. Meanwhile Tommy learns how to let people help him and that Buck's really in it for the long haul ✨
“Hey, can I ask you a question?”
Looking over his shoulder, Tommy raises a brow. He’s elbow-deep in Evan’s kitchen sink, warm, sudsy water tickling his skin as he finishes the last of the dinner dishes. Evan made a chicken parm that had Tommy contemplating the existence of God and carefully planning the head he’d be giving his boyfriend later. As long as Tommy had known him–which was admittedly not very long–Evan has been a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy. More likely to barrel through any awkwardness than couch his questions in some kind of lead up. “Of course you can, you know that.”
Evan takes the plate Tommy offers him in hand, drying it and setting it aside, his expression just hesitant enough to give Tommy pause. 
“Why do we always hang out at my place?”
The question startles a laugh from him. That…wasn’t what Tommy had been expecting. “We don’t, sometimes we go on dates.” Tommy allows his face to settle, faux serious and gently teasing. “Are you claiming I’m not romancing you enough Buckley, because I take that accusation very seriously.”
It gets him the reaction he was hoping for: Evan rolls his eyes like he’s aiming to hit 20 Klicks into the stratosphere and keep climbing. He can hear Evan's common refrain in his head, only coworkers call me Buckley, and I don’t even want to contemplate explaining what we’ve been up to to HR.
 “Ha, ha. You know that’s not what I meant. You don’t think it’s a little weird that it’s been two months and I haven’t made it past your garage?”
Tommy’s brain goes straight to the gutter, but Evan’s arms are crossed over his chest in what Tommy has come to learn is a tell-tale sign of him feeling a little insecure.
Tommy tucks away the innocent expression he’d been pulling and sighs, yanking the plug and reaching for the discarded towel to wipe his hands clean. “I mean, it’s a shorter drive for me to come here from Harbour than make you slog it all the way out to mine. I was just trying to make things easier on you.”
Evan holds up his hands like he’s trying to brace both himself and Tommy for his next question. “Okay, let me be more direct. Do you still live with your mom?”
That one shocks, a genuine, full belly laugh from him. The concern on Evan’s face is beginning to grow, and Tommy waves him off. 
“No, it’s nothing like that. My place is just…a little unfinished at the moment, is all.”
Evan’s apartment was so put together it had honestly taken Tommy aback the first time he’d gotten a good look at it He didn’t know what he’d been expecting but it hadn’t been anything this nice, clean, or stylish, and the next opportunity he’d had to linger and poke around…with fewer distractions…he had quickly reevaluated the person he’d assumed Evan to be based on first impressions alone.
It had been his first in a long chain of lessons he’d learnt to never underestimate Evan Buckley. It had also made him feel slightly…lacking.
“Okay,” Evan says slowly, he’s using that tone of voice that usually means he already has a succession of twenty questions in the barrel and was just barely holding back from pulling the trigger.  “Unfinished, how?”
Tommy scratches at the side of his nose before he can stop himself. A nervous tick. “Well, I bought it with the intention of renovating it myself--my first job was working for a contractor–but I, uh, kept getting a little side tracked.”
Evan shrugs. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“You haven’t seen it yet…” Tommy warns.
Evan’s smile slides sideways. “Yeah, and don’t you think it’s a little unfair that Eddie’s seen your place and your boyfriend hasn't?”
He feels silly, but Tommy can’t stop the way his stomach goes hot and squirmy every time Evan says it. Boyfriend–like it’s a pearl cupped lovingly on the bed of his tongue. 
It’s Tommy’s turn to roll his eyes. He reaches out, covering Evan’s damp hand with his own and offering him a direct, hot-eyed look. “I’m not trying to impress Eddie.”
His words have their intended effect, Evan grins and ducks his head, cheeks going pleasantly red. 
Evan laces their fingers together. “I don’t care how rough it is around the edges, I want to see every part of you,” he says, devastatingly sincere. 
Every time Tommy thinks he’s gotten an upper hand on his feelings, Evan throws him for a loop. “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”
Evan’s grin spreads across his face like soft butter on toast. “You got it.”
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marchtooctober · 4 months
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It's been some time since i posted something 😅
My contribution for prompt "Desperate"
@dailytwiyorprompts
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“Yor.”
“Yesh?”
“Your scarf. It's falling off.”
“Oh… Shorry.”
It was one of those dinner nights of Loid and Yor, a regular practice that is part of their cover as Mr. and Mrs. Forger. Loid managed to pull off the date smoothly at the cost of another intoxicated Yor. At this point, he's now surprisingly used to it after so many times.
But maybe, this is the last.
“Thish too hard.” With struggling effort, Yor tried to fix her scarf.
“Let me.”
“N-No it'sh alright…” She mumbled.
Loid grabbed the scarf and wrapped it around Yor. As he adjusted the cloth, he felt Yor's warm breath on his hands. The sensation made Loid feel fuzzy inside, as if the warmth has spread all throughout his body. Then he quickly pulled back his hands, quite abashed.
“Thank you.” Said Yor and turned away.
She walked a few steps ahead while tapping her cheeks.
Loid wondered if he made a mistake. He didn't want Yor to be wary of him. But he couldn't help himself.
“L-Let ush cake some for Franky and Anya.”
Despite the messed up sentence, Loid understood.
“I don't think we can buy cake at this time. It's already late. I'll just bake one tomorrow if that's alright with you.” He replied.
“M'kay.” Said Yor and continued walking.
It's deep in the night and only a few people are still out, just like them.
The cobblestone pavement carpeted with dry foliage, the leafless trees line up the path. Howling of chilly wind signifies the near ending of fall. And it won't be long before winter comes, and a lonely one at that.
No matter how much he yearns for an ordinary life, Loid will never attain it. The so-called “home” where he wants to be, is a place very far from his reach.
“Loi? Where are you? Loi!”
Yor's voice took him out of his grim reverie. He rushed to her.
“I’m here. Hold on to my arm and walk carefully.”
Loid held out his arm but Yor declined.
“I’m fine. I jush thought you gone shomwere.”
Hearing those words, Loid swallowed hard.
“You don’t have to worry. I… I’m here. I’m not going anywhere..” Replied Loid and smiled bitterly.
They continued, Yor still walking ahead. Loid stared at her back and felt the unfamiliar sting of guilt. And where did it come from? Guilt out of saying those words? Handful of words added to the pile of lies. But it was necessary, lying for his mission. Yet, he couldn't shake the heaviness of guilt.
There shouldn't be any emotional hindrance. He knows it well. But for a second, he was possessed with selfishness and tried to reach out his trembling hand. Loid simply wanted to hold Yor’s hand.
Suddenly, he quickly remembered that he had no right to do such a thing.
Who he is right now is nothing but a disposable mask. Loid Forger is just one among the many passing shadows of Twilight.
Pain is welling up in his chest. Twilight realized his fault. The suppression of feelings that he didn't want to face.
Is this love after all?
What he knows about romance is mostly from theory but never experienced the real thing. It’s unfitting to someone like him. Feelings and sentiments were never beneficial to him.
Drawn to the flame he can't touch. As a last resort, he called out to Yor.
“Yor.”
“Hmm?”
“Can we take our time walking?”
“Why?”
“B-Because…”
“Okay, Loi… If you want sho. Let'sh walk sowlowly.”
Yor beamed a smile and turned away. Loid was thankful that he was walking behind. He didn't want Yor to see the few tears that escaped his eyes.
This little distance between them is the only thing that keeps Loid from losing his sanity. He knows that even this moment will fade as a memory once everything is over. And he will be left with nothing but a blank canvas for him to paint another fakery.
That's all there is to it.
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moonstruckme · 1 year
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could you write steve harrington x reader x eddie munson?
something like, Eddie invited Steve to see his band playing at a bar and during the presentation Steve starts to flirt with the reader cause he thinks she's the most gorgeous girl ever, and hes actually happy cause she is flirting back, and when the show ends Eddie gets to them and he is like "yeah shes my girlfriend but don't worry we like to share"
Hi, thanks so much for your request! This got a bit long, but I hope you like it :)
Steddie x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
Steve knows that, in theory, he's supposed to be here for Eddie. And Eddie is good, commanding the attention of the entire bar, the colored lights seeming to shine more brightly upon him. It's unfair to his bandmates, really, but Eddie's just like that. Has been from the first time Steve met him, and he's grown more fascinated with the other man each day since.
It's part of why, when Eddie had asked Steve and no one else to come to his show that night, Steve hadn't hesitated before cancelling his plans with Robin. But now that he's here, he finds his attention unwillfully divided between the bright, shining star on the stage and the girl beneath it, glowing softly like the moon.
It seems like every bit of light that catches Eddie refracts back onto you, and you beam up at him, clearly enamored. Steve knows the feeling. Maybe it's that kinship that drives him towards you, maybe it's something else, but Steve finds himself drifting through the crowd, letting himself be bashed around by overenthusastic moshers, until he's beside you.
"Do you know their stuff?" he shouts over the music, jerking his chin towards the band.
You smile, eyes roaming his face appreciatively, and Steve's mouth goes utterly dry. He didn't begrudge you the attention you were bestowing upon Eddie, but having it directed at him is something different entirely. Steve wonders if he's never been properly looked at in his life, if this is what it's supposed to feel like.
"I do!" Your enthusiasm is adorable, and Steve finds himself grinning back at you as if in a trance. "I go to all of their shows. Is this your first one?"
"Yeah," Steve says, debating whether to tell you he knows someone in the band. What if you want him to introduce you to Eddie? He's not sure if he could stand watching as the two most gorgeous people he's ever seen get together right in front of him; Steve's too selfish for that.
He's saved from his moral dilemma when you nod cheerfully, as if Steve's just given more than a bland, one-word response. "Yeah, didn't think I'd seen you here before. Whaddya think?"
This, he can answer with complete honesty. "I really like it. They're awesome." Some of them more of others, in Steve's opinion. But he might be biased.
You look downright jubilant at his answer, and Steve's happy to have something in common with you. "Aren't they?" you yell back, still bopping your head to the rhythm even as you devote most of your attention to Steve. Eddie starts on a guitar solo, and you both abandon your conversation to watch, whooping above the roar of the crowd, and when Eddie grins, Steve's not sure which one of you it's directed at. Once the chorus starts again, you grab at Steve's collar, pulling him closer so you can yell in his ear. He's eager to oblige you. "You should come to more shows, if you can. I'd love to have someone to hang out with."
Steve hopes the lighting is camoflaging his blush, but there's no hiding the beaming grin that comes to his face at what he hopes you're implying. "Sounds good to me," he yells back, taking the opportunity to put his hand in your hair under the premise of gaining easier access to your ear. "Actually, I'm really thirsty. Come to the bar with me for a drink? I'll buy."
You agree without any further persuasion, and while neither of you ever takes your attention completely off the band, you spend the rest of the set chatting at the bar. By the time Eddie hops down from the stage, your hands are joined on the bartop, and you're running your thumb along Steve's knuckle flirtatiously. Eddie heads straight for the two of you and Steve wilts slightly, knowing the jig is up, but when Eddie grins at him, he can't help but smile back. It's an automatic response.
"Hey," Eddie greets him, before his eyes find you. "Hi, sweet thing." He wraps an arm around your shoulders, and your cheek dimples where he kisses it. "Did you have fun?"
You hum in happy affirmation. "I met Steve."
Eddie chuckles. "Yeah, I can see that, baby." His gaze falls on Steve, who's busy wishing a sinkhole would open under his seat and swallow him up. "I was gonna introduce you to my girlfriend after the show, but it seems like you found each other without me."
"Your girlfriend," Steve repeats dazedly. He looks between the two of you, waiting for someone to be offended. Should it be him? You were flirting with him too, or had he misread everything? There was no way Eddie didn't see your hands atop the bar, fingers intertwined. "I—I'm sorry, I didn't know you guys were together. I wouldn't've—"
"Shit, relax, Harrington," Eddie laughs, and now Steve's definitely offended. How could he have thought Eddie liked him, when he would laugh at Steve's humiliation like this? "My bad, I should've explained. Y/N is my girlfriend, but we're not...exclusionary."
Steve says nothing, letting his flabberghasted expression speak for him.
"I was sort of hoping you guys would hit it off tonight. We're into sharing," Eddie says it casually, as if its not the most surprising and objectively the best news Steve has heard in his entire life.
"Wait." Steve wants to be sure he has this right. "So you," he looks at Eddie, grinning smugly as he watches Steve put it together, "and you," he turns to you, gazing at him with kind, hopeful eyes, "are in a relationship, but you want...me, to be in your relationship too?"
"If you want to," you say softly, squeezing Steve's hand. "Eddie's been campaigning for this for weeks, and after tonight, I'm pretty sold on the idea too." You laugh a little, and Steve realizes, for the first time, that you're nervous.
"Yeah." Steve's palm is sweaty against yours, but the answer comes to him easily. "Yeah, I'd like that."
"Great." Eddie doesn't seem surprised, necessarily, but his smile is giant and goofy, and you seem equally thrilled. "Then how about I order us some more drinks?"
Steve's only had one tonight, but as Eddie slings his other arm around his shoulder, wrapping the three of you in a loose hug, he feels plenty drunk already.
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accio-victuuri · 6 months
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sharing this new fake rumor posted over at zsww fake house. it’s a pretty long one ✌🏼going by the conversations, i think the intent here is to supplement their alleged meet up recently. usual disclaimer, this is not real. treat as fan fiction. there are some unnecessary bits omitted but very minimal. just so it wouldn’t be a full translation.
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XZ: Don’t worry, I haven’t downloaded it yet.
XZ: Yeah, I know
XZ: I said it
XZ: Well, then I’ll start here.
XZ: Try to be early
XZ: 🫵🏻 Watch for some time
staff: Don’t worry
It has been arranged, but it is not necessary, but there is a sense of ceremony, so I went to prepare it.
people interpret this as XZ watching WoF! i’m cackling cause he is asking the staff to watch it too when he is not looking. reminds me of that other rumor that WYB does the same. he asks staff to watch and then they will tell him what happened if he is too busy to. and he is saying to wyb to come early, maybe he wants to watch it together!
XZ: Don’t move, just lie down.
WYB: It’s okay
WYB: I fell asleep in the car for a while
XZ: Are your legs sore?
WYB: Not bad
WYB: Why do you look at me like that?
XZ: What do you think?
WYB: ☺️ 😏😏😏
XZ: Virtue
WYB: 😀😀
WYB: It's okay. Look. Okay.
WYB: It’s starting to itch a little bit
XZ: Don’t buckle
as for the “virtue” term i looked it up on baidu and it seems like this is used more on the reason of telling WYB off cause what he is thinking is 😏😏.
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the itching is probably the wound he has on his hand that is drying up now. and how xz is so concerned for wyb! AHHHHHHH!
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XZ: I told you before that you wouldn’t listen.
XZ: It’s quite obvious on TV that there’s a trap.
WYB: Where did you see it?
XZ: Watch the clips. I want to watch them all. Where can I find the time?
WYB: Oh
WYB: You still have time to rest more, ge
WYB: You must be tired, ge 🥺
(….)
XZ: Don’t force me into happy moments……
WYB: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
watching WoF clips! Hahahahahaha! I find it really cute how they support each other
WYB: What are you having for dinner?
XZ: Please hurry up, please
this next part is mostly WYB being clowned by staff and his continued refusal to make vlogs 🤪 and him not approving an increase in budget! here is a bit:
Staff 2: 😂😂😂😂
Staff 3: You don’t need to provide us with a vlog
WYB: That saves money
Staff 4: Then my budget has increased
WYB: Not approved
Staff 4: 😂
XZ: Mr. Wei has spoken. You must listen.
WYB: I’ll give you some for yourselves.
XZ: Are Mr. Wei’s rights limited to this much?
WYB: It’s up to you whether it’s you or not
XZ: 😅
XZ: Do you think I’ve treated you badly?
WYB: Just kidding, didn’t you click on all of them?
mister wei 🥺🥺🥺 why do i have a feeling that XZ’s favorite right now is Wei Ruolai?
XZ: He doesn’t have many opportunities, so use them and cherish them.
Staff 4: Finished. Here.
WYB: Oh, can you finish it?
WYB: Who do you belong to?
XZ: Report to you
WYB: Huh?
XZ: Repay...the real reward📱take it and repay it
WYB: Then I can take it apart and buy it....
XZ: Then buy it yourself
WYB: You buy it for me...what you just said
XZ: I didn’t say
XZ: OK OK OK
XZ: Aren’t they all in your hands? Buy it yourself.
WYB: Don’t worry if I buy a lot at once
XZ: Scared. I’m so scared.
WYB: I bought just one
WYB: ☺️
XZ: 👍🏻
this is confusing me but what i can gather is wyb bought something! what is it? 👀
Isn't it just for us all to hear you whispering, coaxing, and speaking so loudly? Come on, eat, the meal is here, if you don't eat, you'll be full first.
P.S: The boss doesn’t know that he blinks when he’s trying to coax people.
i love this last part cause OP is sort of complaining about the two lovebirds! as usual, having their own world. and idk who the “boss” is that blinks, or maybe he is trying to be cute by slow-blinking? i have a feeling it’s xz tho 😂😂😂😂
-END.
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love-toxin · 2 years
Note
We’ve seen bully!eddie, but what about obsessed worshipper!eddie?
Like he sees the reader as this untouchable deity and he absolutely worships the ground she walks on, everything she does is perfect. He doesn’t feel worthy of her but he just has to have her, he just can’t let anyone else taint her
obsessed worshipper you say? ohoho.....
(cws: worshipper!eddie, f!angelface, self-esteem issues, stalking, delusions, masturbation, stick and pokes, punishment-centric self-harm, eddie literally licks your boots w/o you in them, mutual pining.)
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he twists his rings whenever you walk by the table he sits at, a little squeak squeak squeak as he fidgets and fiddles until you're completely out of sight. he has to stare but he can't be idle, he's rarely ever idle, so he watches and ogles until it's a running joke at the Hellfire table that Eddie's whipped for the new girl.
maybe. no, not really--he's just in awe. probably. you're really pretty. and you don't seem at all like the fake people that far outnumber him and his comrades, he knows you're more genuine than they are because he's not scared of you, and you're not scared of him. you tell him good morning when you see him, your lockers separated only by a single one between them, and when he says it back you always smile and seem so happy. but it's not because people don't like you; you're so warm that everyone likes you. why wouldn't they? how could someone dislike you? it doesn't compute in his mind even somewhat.
it's always weird being around you, but good weird. like butterflies in his stomach that turn into hurricanes when you smile, or laugh, or when you get close to lend him a pencil and he smells your perfume. so pretty. he buys a bottle just to spray it in his room so it always feels like you're around, and that's a little creepy, but he's already a freak so it probably isn't any worse than what people think he gets up to. it's not any worse than when he's pricking his own arm with a homemade needle to tattoo your initials into his skin, or when he cuts a tiny lock of his hair off and sneaks it into the bottom of your backpack. you just need something of his, he needs people to notice that you shouldn't be messed with--he needs people to stay away from you because they don't deserve you. they don't deserve your kindness when they turn around and terrorize other people, and they shouldn't get to take away your smile when someone's rude to you and you flinch away. they're all beneath you.
when he starts following you home is when Eddie knows he has some kind of problem. at first he convinced himself it was just to make sure you got home unscathed, but soon he realizes that it's just because he needs more time with you. there aren't enough hours in the day for him to spend looking up at your godliness, and while he's gone from egregious truancy to a near perfect attendance, even worshipping you at home isn't enough after awhile. he can only practice so many love songs before his fingers bleed and his throat aches, and gripping his own cock as he drowns himself in fantasies of you can't satisfy him forever. he needs something of yours, but what he really wants is you. stealing one of your shoes is the next big infraction, although he reasons it out that because he brought it back it wasn't a big deal--even though he came all over the toe of your polished doll-like dress heel, just so he could lick it off and feel like he was polishing them for you. touching himself later that night was especially brutal, as he punished himself with as much pain as he could bear in some sort of confessional apology you don't even know about--mostly bruising pinches to his inner thighs just as he's about to finish, and a tight, dry grip that leaves him sore and shaking from his own abuse even though it felt so good.
after a while, he even worries over whether or not you're getting enough release yourself. you're so perfect, do you practice self-pleasure? how often? how do you do it? how long? what do you think about? do you use your hand, or....those questions and thousands more cycle through his head on a daily basis as he fixates on his new idea of you, but they don't stop and only get stronger the closer the two of you get. soon enough you're friends, he spends time in your room, you spend time at band practice and Hellfire. he loses his mind at the sight of the bed you sleep on and the furniture you touch every day, with the clothes that wrap around your body and the bits of makeup that cling to your perfect skin. he wishes he was all of that and more, he just wants to be around you, on you, 24/7. he has a moment of clarity one night, where he's so deliriously worried for you after a degrading comment was made earlier in the day by some jock, and he has to physically punch himself in his own stomach to stop himself from crawling through your window and cuddling up next to you as you sleep. after that he has to distance himself, worried he may encroach too far and scare you into fearing him.
but Eddie is beyond happy to find that's not the case when he finds whispers of his name in your diary entries. flipping through them becomes a passing hobby when you're not home, and once he's gotten through quite a bit to start reading more recent entries, his breath hitches as he discovers some passages from when you first moved to Hawkins.
"sometimes the only good thing about my day is seeing Eddie. I feel so worthless most of the time, but he makes me feel special."
"maybe he's lying when he says I'm pretty, but I don't care. I really like him. I feel like I've known him forever."
"this is so embarrassing, but I think I might have a crush on Eddie. I feel like he's with me all the time--I can't get him out of my head. but how could I tell him how I feel? how could he ever like someone like me?"
it's a dream come to life, but it's bittersweet all the same. among those glorious admissions of your feelings for him, someone so low and unworthy compared to you, there are so many sparks of doubt and self-hate that just kill Eddie inside. as your most loyal follower--your only follower--he can't allow that to stand.
so this time, he'll wait. and when you get home, oh, will he have so much to show you to prove that you're so much more divine than you seem to believe.
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ohmytyong · 1 year
Text
mark me in your heart [teaser]
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PAIRING: drug dealer!mark x bartender!reader
GENRE: angst, smut, kinda friends with benefits au, bartender!renjun, best friend!renjun, action au
TEASER WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, explicit scene of drug use, use of pet names
WC: tba (TEASER WC: 1,2k)
‣[PLAYLIST]: 505 by arctic monkeys, bad omens by 5 seconds of summer, slow down by chase atlantic, why do you only call me when you're high? by arctic monkeys, a little death by the neighborhood, okay by chase atlantic
SUMMARY: when a sensitive and broken heart meets another one of the same nature, their instinctive reaction is to seek comfort in each other, and in order to heal themselves, they both need to be equally strong and willing to put all their broken pieces back together. but sometimes, some hearts aren't strong enough to be saved; the only way to save them is if the stronger heart of the two is willing to take the risk and try for the both of them, whatever it takes.
A/N: i forgot how long i've had this idea sitting in my drafts. i think it's time it saw the light of day and i think it's better if i share this with you
wanna be notified when i post the full fic? join the taglist here or send me an ask! | click here to join my general taglist
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“Hey Renjun, pass me that glass” you said as you wiped the thick tall glass completely dry before you put it back on the shelf behind you. You were moving mechanically at this point, the exhaustion of the long night at the bar taking over your entire body. It was 5 in the morning and you had just barely managed to kick out some of the remaining drunk nobodies who were so wasted, that their toxic-infused brains couldn’t even give them the signals to move their own bodies.
Working at the bar wasn’t your dream job but it’s not as if you had a better choice. It was either a bartender or a stripper. Both of them sounded equally bad, so you decided to opt for the slightly better one. If you could even say it like that.
It wasn’t a particularly ideal job but it was enough to get you by. It earned you enough money to buy you food and pay the rent at the motel you were staying at, it got you as many free drinks as you needed to help your mind escape from all your worries and you also got to meet some relatively cool people, so that was somewhat good. The working hours weren’t such a big of an issue either, you couldn’t really sleep anyway. So you were fine with it.
Most nights, the bar usually closed at around 3 am. There wasn’t a set rule on this; it usually depended on how many customers there were and how much they were drinking. Your boss had suggested that you shouldn't keep the bar open all night long, so you kinda decided that it was best to close a few hours after midnight. You weren’t complaining about this though; the sooner it closed, the more time you’d have to get high with your co-worker Renjun at the alleyway behind the bar.
Unfortunately, tonight luck wasn’t on your side, as a group of friends kept on drinking more and more as the hours passed by, which meant that you and Renjun had to keep the bar open until later. You weren’t opposed to this idea, it only meant that you would earn a little bit more money. It was Renjun who started complaining, so he decided to take action into his own hands and practically dragged the drunks out of the bar.
This is how you ended up cleaning up the place this late, rather this early in the morning, with your co-worker. The two of you were too tired to speak, so neither of you made any efforts to spark up a conversation. You both just attended to your respective tasks, waiting for a specific somebody to show up.
Luck surely wasn’t on your side tonight. He would usually show up at around 3:30 am, right after the bar closed, and he would have all the stuff ready, just at the exact moment you needed it. Why was he late today?
It didn’t take a genius to understand that Renjun was clearly affected by the lack of the stuff. He moved around the place nervously, tugging at his hair and stomping his foot rhythmically. He was in a desperate need of it, and you would honestly lie to yourself if you said you didn’t need it half as much as Renjun did.
You put the last clean glass on the shelf behind you and went over to the storage room to grab a broom, so that you could clean the floor a bit while Renjun was still wiping the bar counters. As soon as you closed the door of the storage room, the little bell that hung above the bar’s front door rang with a tinkle and soon after it followed the sound of the so familiar footsteps you were waiting for all night.
“Hey kids, Santa’s here,” his voice resonated in the empty room as he waved a small transparent plastic bag that looked white because of its content. Renjun threw the handkerchief he was holding to the other side of the counter and dramatically jumped over it to go and hug the male who just entered. All of that just at the sight of the clear plastic bag with the snowy content.
“Mark, what took you so long my guy, I’m literally a dead man walking! Give this beauty to me,” Renjun exclaimed and snatched the plastic bag straight out of Mark’s hand. Mark smirked at what Renjun said and immediately started grinning at the sight of the boy’s eagerness.
Renjun went to sit on the bar stool closer to him and placed the bag on top of the counter he had just wiped clean. With slender fingers, he opened the plastic bag and dredged some of the content on the counter. With nervousness in his movements, he set the bag aside and shuffled through his back pocket to find his ID card. He started scattering the white dust all over the counter before he gathered all of it in a straight line with the help of his ID card. When he was satisfied with the result, he put his ID card back into his pocket, lowered his head to the level that his nose touched the cold surface of the counter, took a deep breath and snorted the entire line of crack, the product going straight up into his nostrils.
Renjun blinked several times before he slowly lifted his head. He scrunched his nose and wiped it with the back of his hand, his drowsy eyes looking surprisingly bright considering his state. “Man, whoever hasn’t done crack, never, they haven’t known the beauty of life yet” he chuckled. Mark smirked at Renjun’s comment and you couldn’t help but shake your head amusingly, a small smile creeping up at your face.
Renjun took the plastic bag with the rest of the cocaine and put it in his pocket. “This baby’s for me, thank you,” he amused and turned his heel towards the storage room. “Don’t come look for me, I’ll be right here. If I take too long to come out, then you should be concerned,” he said and closed the storage room door behind him; a scene that was surprisingly quite familiar to you.
You then set the broom down and walked towards Mark. “Hey” you whispered and Mark greeted you back in a low husky voice. “What took you so long? We were expecting you to come earlier” you asked him.
Mark shrugged and leaned his elbow against the counter. “I came by at our usual meeting hour and saw that you guys were still open. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing me so I decided to drop by later,” he said and you nodded in understanding.
“You do have more of those plastic bags on you, don’t you?” you asked him and he chuckled. “Of course I do, pretty. Let’s go outside and treat ourselves a bit, shall we?” he suggested and you nodded again, walking beside him towards the alleyway behind the bar.
* .♡ *:・゚✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆
TAGS: @peachjaem00 @bbyyhyuck @vdollys @positionslab @matchahyuck @renjun-fairy @back2jisung @doieslefttoe @uwuheeseungie
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river3000 · 8 months
Text
An overview of Rachel Elizabeth Dare’s hair, and her hairbrush (and why the hairbrush should be appreciated more)
I’ve seen lots of people saying that Rachel bringing a hairbrush is unrealistic, and people with WAVY hair (which is way different from curly hair) saying it's unrealistic too, so this post is telling them why they’re wrong. So I LOVE Rachel, not just because she looks like me (same pasty, easily sunburned skin, and plethora of freckles; her poor bank account, spending so much on sunscreen), but also because I relate to her so much! One reason I relate to her is that HER HAIR LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MINE, HER OFFICIAL ART HAIR LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY HAIR, way too curly, way too frizzy, and easily tangled. So, for all the straight-haired people reading this (also I will be showing this to all my friends, all of whom have straight or wavy hair, except one of them has two waves down the back of her hair and is delusional because she thinks her hair is curly) this is my hair brushing routine and other things about my hair so you understand what I mean when I say that taking care of hair like that is HARD:
I take a shower and use curly hair-specific shampoo (which is expensive)
I also do a wash-out untangle thing to make it easier to brush
I use curly hair-specific conditioner, a detangling spray, and two hair mask things to make the brushing easier
I use either a WET brush or a detangling brush, but usually the WET brush
I keep a spray bottle on hand to keep it wet the whole time
It takes at least 30-45 minutes for me to brush my hair
I wash my hair out again to get the conditioner and hair masks out
I use a wide tooth comb after that because water makes it a little tangled
Sometimes after that, I use a leave-in conditioner, but not often
If I brushed it for a fancy event or something then I use my diffuser to dry it, if not I braid it and go to bed because I take night showers unless it's a fancy event or sometimes a weekend
I sleep in a silk bonnet and use only a silk pillowcase
I can only brush my hair wet
I can’t run my fingers through it a lot
I have to go to a haircut place that specializes in curly hair
I can't brush it in the morning or casually
I brush it every three days because I can’t get it wet lots because that's bad for it
To get the Frizz™ that’s on the top of my head every morning to calm down when I put it up I wet it with my sink water
The only hair ties I can use in my hair on a normal basis are scrunchies
I only wear my hair down the day after or after I brush my hair
I wear it up every day
My friends can't do my hair a lot of the time unless I instruct them or find a tutorial video of a style of curly hair like mine, and they call me controlling when I do that
My friends with wavy hair say that wavy hair is harder to take care of than curly hair and I hate it because they don’t know what they’re talking about
If I don’t brush my hair it all becomes one giant matt on the back of my head and if that goes on too long it becomes painful and I get a scalp rash
Buying products is an expensive necessity
One I hadn’t brushed my hair for a week and when I took it down to redo my bun my friend looked at me in Horror™
Only one of my friends actually puts in the work to do my hair and helps me with it because she enjoys styling it and understands it’s hard to take care of after helping me brush it a few times, surprise surprise she’s my best friend
No hair clips, they get stuck in my hair
Once I was brushing it and my hairbrush just broke in half
I have an undercut that you can’t see with my hair down, just to make it easier to deal with; it’s an inch-or-half-an-inch-idk-which-one-thick, inch tall stripe that’s right above the back of my neck, at the base of my skull
I shed like a fucking dog
My hair also becomes so frizzy it looks like I brushed it dry when it's humid, and I live in a humid and hot place
Ginger hair makes you sunburn easier (and unable to tan)
I got bullied in school for being ginger because there’s something wrong with that in the minds of middle schoolers (I was also bullied for being gay and not ashamed of being queer but that’s not the point)
I would be called a leprechaun a lot as a kid, Saint Patrick's Day was and still is hell
Every time someone with straight hair complains about their hair being frizzy, I die a little more inside
Being pale an ginger, doing makeup, dying hair, and literally buying clothes is hard
especially makeup
I use the palest concealer they have at Target (it's called porcelain)
That’s all I can think of right now but I know there’s more. It’s entirely realistic that Rachel would bring a hairbrush because she has experienced all of this, and all of this started to happen to me when I was years younger than her. I said that I couldn’t brush my hair dry and Rachel could have had to, or maybe she would have waited for a part of the labyrinth with water to wet it and then brushed it, or had Percy use his water powers to wet it (Platonic Perachel is amazing, and I need more of it, they’re one of my fav brotps). So anyways guys, respect Rachel and stop questioning her hairbrush, they were in the labyrinth for a while, she needed that thing and it had done its fair share of service. That hairbrush has done more than being thrown at Kronos' eye.
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asiandra-dash · 2 months
Note
I am once again asking for your akikasa support. (Headcanons) pretty pleeeeease with a pancake on top?
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I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG UM I FORGOT THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS AND I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO TYPE ANYTHING UP ON VACATION I'M SO SORRY also I'll be answering your other Akikasa ask with an AU if that's cool cause um no hc or stuff was specific on that one and I'm going to explode if I keep quiet about my AU any longer
The the little emojis in brackets are HCs I stole borrowed from my friends
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Akito sings in his sleep. Sometimes Tsukasa wakes up to hear it and he doesn't dare to move until silence fills the room again.
Tsukasa probably snores and it annoys the hell out of Akito.
Whenever Akito can't sleep Tsukasa mumbles a bunch of super cheesy stuff to him until he falls asleep [❄]
Whenever Akito thinks Tsukasa's talking too much, if not many people or no one they know is around, he kisses him and that shuts him up immediately because Tsukasa is the one who usually gives the kisses.
Before Akito and Tsukasa started dating Rui would sometimes tease Akito about it. Akito never told him but Rui obviously put the pieces together.
Rui is absolutely an Akikasa shipper lmao
Before they started dating Rui probably locked them in a room together once and came back to them making out (lol)
Most of the time at school if Tsukasa starts screaming about a bug Akito will appear out of nowhere and take care of it, no one ask where he came from.
They both have an album on their phones of photos of each other trust.
Akito can kind of draw and sometimes when he's zoning out in class he'll find that instead of notes he's made a small doodle of Tsukasa in his notebook and it takes all he has to not physically cringe at himself. [⭐]
Meanwhile Tsukasa does them intentionally while somehow taking notes. He likes showing them to Akito who loves them but refuses to admit it.
Whenever someone brings up Akito and Tsukasa's relationship, Akito begs them to shut up while Tsukasa casually hops in and takes over the conversation.
"Tsukasa? I mean, he's cool, I guess." "AKITO??? [Insert a 15 paragraph essay on how much Tsukasa loves him]"
I think they both listen to each other's alt vocals of their songs
Tsukasa definitely learned some VBS songs, especially Akito's focus songs. Sometimes Akito will hear him humming one of his songs and god he loves this idiot so much
Akito refuses to admit he learned any of WxS's songs but trust me he did and when Tsukasa found out for the first time he burst into the room SHOCKED
Akito booped Tsukasa once and the blond kinda just. Stood there. In shock. Cause. Like. What. Akito was the last person he expected to get booped by.
Akito likes it when people mess with his hair, even though he'll act all pissy about it. But sometimes he lets Tsukasa pet him.
Tsukasa found this out after Akito came out of the bathroom fresh out of the shower and his hair was still drenched and Tsukasa insisted he help him dry it.
Yes they definitely stay over at each other's homes sometimes.
Whenever Akito stays over at Tsukasa's, he often wakes up to breakfast (and it's usually pancakes)
Tsukasa frequently gets woken up by Akito's midnight texts and he would complain if it wasn't for tired Akito being so overly affectionate
Whenever Akito gets sick and Ena can't take care of him Tsukasa comes over to take care of him and he will go all out
Tsukasa buys things for Akito a lot because it reminds him of him
Tsukasa swears Akito hates him sometimes and when Akito finds out he will frantically try and find a way to make him change his mind
Whenever Akito has dry lips Tsukasa makes him put on lip balm and if he refuses he puts it on himself
Like he will literally make him stop whatever he is doing and MAKE HIM put it on
Akito wears a lot of jewelry like earrings, necklaces, piercings, etc. and Tsukasa sometimes helps him put them on... Though he does question why he wears so much
Tsukasa rambles a lot and though Akito spaces out at times when he does, he still appreciates that Tsukasa trusts him enough to talk about whatever on his mind
I refuse to think about how things will go after Tsukasa graduates but they probably call a lot I guess. Idk it hurts to think about it
I think I talked about this already but I wanna say it again Tsukasa steals Akito's hoodies a lot
Whenever Tsukasa comes over almost every time he finds one of his hoodies gone and when he asks Tsukasa about it he denies it until he wants to give it back (He has at least five sitting in his closet)
Akito doesn't mind though lol and Tsukasa always gets him new hoodies anyways (even if they're not exactly pretty but he'll still wear them)
Whenever Tsukasa wants new clothes Akito goes along with him cause trust me even if a bunch of those VBS outfits look ugly as shit Akito knows what he's doing
Tsukasa always carries an umbrella with him when he's out with Akito just in case it rains
I think it would be really funny if Ena sometimes had to tell them to stfu when Tsukasa is over cause trust me they ain't gonna be quiet (Akito room reveal when)
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I got bored in Hong Kong and decided to ask all my friends if I should make a satire Darkside Akikasa GLMM... It doesn't look satire at all please help me (I have one minute left to make)
Divider / Reply Icon made by me! ( 1 | 2 )
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baileythebean · 5 months
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OPEN RP :3 (LONG-ASS INTRO, HEAVY BAILEY ANGST, TW: MENTIONS OF MURDER, BLOOD, THROWING UP, SUICIDE, EXTREMELY SAD BAILEY - I’D ALSO LIKE PEBBLE @the-sugar-demonboy TO BE IN THIS ONE IF POSSIBLE, THANKS )
*Bailey had an exact agenda in mind. Scam some lootbag into buying “modern art” at an insane price and then dash. He succeeded, obviously. He’s Bailey. What do you take him for?* *The problem came when he ran into a group of scraps in the alleys who he didn’t know. They were somehow aware of the formation of the sort of alliance that his friends had with Stone, Vinnie and Skipp. After further discussion, it became clear to Bailey that this was a threatening attempt.* “So, what’s it gonna be? You can give us that cash ya got there… or we can turn your little gang against you. How’s that sound?” *The G word alone was enough to make Bailey tense up, but he knew better than to give them a reaction.* ”and how exactly, are you going to accomplish that? You seem like the type of dumb fucks that like to get under people’s skin and never get anything done.” *The same one that had spoken up earlier went on:* “Oh we could uh… I don’t know… inform them of some… plotting you’ve been doing with them pretty weapons of yours. They’re not gon’ feel so safe ‘round you once you’ve been outed as an attempted murderer.” ”But I never-“ ”Oh, we know. That’ll be the fun part.” *He smirked as Bailey’s eyes widened. He was suppressing everything as best as he could, but everything kept coming back up. Like his brain was vomiting up something he was desperately trying to keep down.*
“…Leave me the hell alone.” *He shoved his way past, and hard. He needed to get out of here right now before everything came out.* ”Fine! You seem like the type that’d shoot all of ‘em up anyway if they got on your nerves enough!” (Dammit… I need to get away… fuck, fuck, fuck…) *His mind was clouded and his vision blurred as his eyes welled up with tears. He sprinted away from there as fast as he possibly could. He wouldn’t have been bothered by that petty comment but… he knew all too well what it was like to lose someone to your own two hands. He couldn’t help but imagine Sora, Finn, Jasper, Stone, Vinnie, Skipp - Hell, even Flynn as motionless bodies scattered on the floor. He needed to get it out of his brain. He finally found a quiet, empty ditch in an alley.* (fucking disgusting…) *he thought as he slumped against the wall and he finally let his tears spill down his face.* (I’d never- Yes you would.) *his own thoughts cut him off.* (You’ve done it before.) *the last thing he thought before everything came rushing back to him. The images were too vivid. Like he was seeing them in front of him right now. Brain vomit turned into physical vomit and after a few rounds of violent throwing up, he now had dry heaves. Drenching a tissue in water and wiping his face off, he started to forget how to breathe, how to neutralize his feelings. Why did it have to be like this today? He could normally get over this with a few minutes of mourning everyone… but this? He’d only felt this a few other times. He started to scratch at his shoulders as he hugged his knees to his chest and cried.* (What if I joined them…? Met the same fate myself by the same hands…???) (mod: WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT AM I ON TODAY?? I’M SORRY TO ANYONE WHO LOVES BAILEY AND DOESN’T LIKE SEEING HIM DEVASTATED.)
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