#WHY DO ALL MY FRIENDS HATE ME
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why does everyone need to laught at me. am i really that big of a joke ???? why do people hate me so much ?
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sigh
I don’t want to break up | T. Kageyama
synopsis; he didn’t mean it when he said he wanted to break up, and now he’s showing up out of nowhere to apologise
word count; 718 + 3 smau
warnings; hurt/comfort, no prns used, breaking up, apologising, first time writing kageyama so probably ooc.
The dingy clouds hovering over the crestfallen sky released threads of despondent blue that collided with the wet—almost muddy ground.
The earth was thick with the earthy scent of petrichor and damp soil. It wasn’t your lucky day, quite the opposite. The rain collides with your skin, sending a shot of shivers up your arm. Wet clothes clung to your figure like your own skin, accentuating the smallest of curves and lines, making you feel almost naked. And it clearly did nothing to shield you from the soaring wind.
You cursed your luck as you took cautious steps, not wanting to end up in a puddle filled with nature’s secrets. It was hard to see. The small droplets of rain stuck to your lashes, obscuring your vision.
It was quiet, set aside the piercing sound of the rain. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to him. How is he? Is he doing okay? Does he regret it? Did he find someone else?
What about the sweet kisses you shared? The way his calloused hand fit yours perfectly? The soft sighs he let out every time he nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck.
Your cautious steps turned to almost enraged ones. With every step, you felt like you wanted to scream. Scream and cry and yell and beg him to come back. A life without him seemed unreal. A life without him seemed impossible.
You were so focused that you didn’t even realise you’d bumped into someone’s chest. Someone’s toned chest, sending you a step or two back, but your wrist was gripped to prevent any further stumbling with a familiar hand. An awfully familiar hand.
“Sorry I—“ You look up to apologise, but the words refused to come out after that. Your eyes dampen and a feeling of suffocation clogged your throat to the brim as you stared into his eyes.
He looked like he didn’t sleep a twink for the last 2 weeks. Ink black strands of hair fell into a cascade of disorder, laying astray in many different directions you didn’t even know exist. Eyes almost bloodshot, outlined by a red rimming that you wanted to kiss so badly. They were slightly swollen and tinged with a delicate hint of pink. You almost threw your heart up.
Your throat went dry. Your hands were trembling. Was it with need? With anger? With hurt? That you couldn’t tell. You did miss him though, there is no denying that. But like wise, you could tell his hands were trembling. And you wanted to cradle them in your own and kiss them, whispering words of comfort until the tremors cease to exist— to tell him it’s going to be okay. But you didn’t.
“I’m…I’m sorry…” his gaze shifted away, unable to meet yours. A faint hue of red painted his pale cheeks and flushed the tips of his ears.
You furrowed your brows, lips slightly parting in confusion. His long fingers—the ones that were gripping on your wrist a few moments ago covertly slid into the palm of your hand instead, seeking refuge within it
He began fidgeting with your fingers, a subtle dance of his fingers against yours, a silent conversation in touch. The tremble was as evident as ever.
“I don’t…I don’t want us to break up,” he muttered—almost whispered. His voice carried a tinge of distress from within, his gaze still not able to meet yours.
His hand switched from fidgeting with your fingers to intertwining with them, the callousness of his finger tips apparent as he traced nervous shapes on the back of your knuckles.
It was a natural reflex, the way your hand let go to cup his cheeks, caressed them slightly, tracing the delicate pink under his eyes, then pulled him into a desperate kiss.
His lips against yours—the way they tasted, salty with anxiety and sweet with desperate need—he didn’t hesitate to kiss back for a split second. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders.
It wasn’t the first time Kageyama did this—and it certainly won’t be the last time. It will take some time for him to reprogram himself, that you knew. But what you also knew was that you’ll always be there for him—you’ll always be the home he will find solace in, and for that, he counted his lucky stars.
#WHY DO ALL MY FRIENDS HATE ME#CAN WE STOP WRITING ANGST PLS#I HAVE A WEAK HEART#“What about the sweet kisses you shared?”#“The way his calloused hand fit yours perfectly?”#“The soft sighs he let out every time he nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck.”#so you want me to sob#your writing is so good I can't even be mad smh#“kageyama fluff” I scream into the ether#also sahri what do you want your tag to be? <3
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Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
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LOA Shiptober Day 4: How They Met
October content month was ambitious..
This one took me. Shockingly long. Whoops! I’ll probably end up jumping around the prompt list and it might extend into November 😋
I’ll try to do day 31 on the actual date of Halloween though 🫡
#the good or bad thing depending on who you ask about my ship art is that there are many more ranting tags#once again bringing my “he can’t blush but what if he did’’ agenda#Ngl the first panel reminds me of a children’s book it’s kind of fire#I feel like frost doesn’t like being touched by most people#but then he meets gricko professional animal friend and he’s so confused bc wtf why doesn’t he hate this#so that’s the drawing#sighs fondly confused grimmorning#except frost is the only one that’s confused#Im not joking when I say this one took me a long time I started it the day before the prompt and finished it like a week later#unintentional but frost is doing the Jim halpert thing#he wasn’t supposed to be but it turned out that way#frost don’t Jim the fourth wall.. community reference yeah..#I keep forgetting gricko tail agenda#also I love all the requests I’ve been getting once shiptober is over those will be popping up#anyways that’s enough out of me#but seriously some of those requests are so good they’re actually inspiring me to finish these pieces#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#morning frost#gricko grimgrin#grimmorning#gricko x frost#OH last thing possible stardust rhapsody art on the way I have to share my dandy art with the world
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genuinely why are you not allowed to decline someone's affection. why do you have to trap yourself in situations and relationships you don't enjoy in order to protect someone else's feelings. it's not really fun to be 'friends' or 'partners' with someone out of moral obligation. it's not fun for anyone involved. but you have to stay, because they mentioned they have abandonment issues once and now you feel like cutting ties would be the most evil fucked up thing you could ever do. it's not my fault if i don't like someone. it's not. but it feels like it is.
#and everytime a post like this is made#almost all of the notes are just ''yeah well its even worse when someone you like doesnt like you''#''this is exactly how abusers think''#''you shouldnt abandon people just because youre annoyed with them''#''im scared of rejection'' ''im scared of abandonment'' ''im scared my friends all hate me''#i know. we all know. but why do i have to apologize for something i cant control#why do i have to apologize for not liking someone its weird its fucked up#im mad. i dont like this.#aromantic#romance repulsed#aplatonic
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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sometimes its really obvious how much people dont actually believe presentation=/=gender when they see their nonbinary friend go from extremely masculine to relaxing back into femininity once theyre comfortable with their gender and every time they call it detransitioning with zero indication thats what their friend is calling it. i dont know how to tell you this but sometimes you present a certain way for social reasons and not because thats how you actually feel. sometimes you experience dysphoria about your body that is actually related to how people view you and not how you feel about your body. i really dont think its that uncommon for trans people to swing really hard in one direction for the affirmation and then relax back into a different presentation once they are more comfortable in their gender
#txt#gekkering#idk how to word this but genuinely if you see your friend growing more comfortable in their body and presentation and assume theyre detransi#tioning without them telling you that you should be ashamed and i hope your friend finds someone who is more accepting of experiences they d#dont personally relate to#butch trans women exist femme trans men exist and very masculine AND very feminine nonbinary people exist#i hated my body most of all when i focused on how other people view me. and before anyone accuses me of anything not that you need to but i#do have other dysphoria but its not NEARLY as severe as when i was younger and was obsessed with how other people gendered me#and if that does still bother you thats okay im not saying people who arent bothered by being misgendered are unreasonable or should get ove#r it or anything#but THATS why sometimes your dysphoria from when you first came out can drastically contradict the way you present later in life#such as transmasc people no longer wanting to bind or transfem people no longer wanting to tuck
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one day I’ll overcome the part of my brain that says I’ll be publicly executed if I try roleplaying and end up Doing It Wrong. and then I’ll be unstoppable. but not today.
#james speaks#me looking at other people’s ocs being friends: cool! i should try that.#the gargoyle in my brain that hates me: good idea. oh but if you do it awkwardly at all you’ll die.#me: wait what-#and that’s why i don’t rp with anyone right now 👍#it’s a hundred percent not on you it’s all my own personal hangups lmao
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I have a confession. I do not care for the soc boys. I'm sure they have very interesting character traits and lore the actors and fandom have come up with and that is so fun and great and I know none of it and I am perfectly content with that. Shout out to all my mutuals who love the soc boys I hope you are having fun with your Ken dolls but I will not be joining you. keep slaying.
#not saying i hate them i just cant get my brain to like them the same way i do all the greasers and the soc girls#excluding bev for some reason melody ily bev ily but i dont latch onto her the same way i do cherry and marcia 😔😔😔😔#shout out to all my soc boy mutuals i hope you are having so much fun#the closest i will ever get to caring for the soc boys is randy#man was an asshole tried to kill a kid saw his best friend die went fuck all of this dumped his girlfriend left town and became a hippie#shit start great ending good job randy 👍#this is also why i havent gotten into parry#i love the gays i promise but i did not latch onto paul the way the rest of the fandom did 😔😔#i totally get it i see where yallre coming from i understand#its my ship-in-law ill support parry truthers 4ever#but im a dar-bit truther for life#yes i am also a mar-bit truther#and an aroace darry truther#i win no matter what#but anyways#i am not part of the community i am an ally ✊️✊️✊️#its also fun cuz since i know jack shit i never get annoyed at mischaracterization because i dont know what the correct characterization is#i can see anything about them and go 'yeah sure'#and it could be so out of character#and ill never know#i stay winning#anyways love yall 🫶#although i do think a reason i havent latched onto bev is because i never see anyone talking about her#if you love bev please tell me about her i want to know everything#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#two-bit talks
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Luffy not knowing about Zoro promising Sanji to kill him if he ever ends up losing himself makes me go feral because that's something they can only know about. Because Zoro's respect for life and death goes beyond anything, and Sanji knows he understands. Sanji knows that if somebody has to kill him, it's him.
And I don't even think it's because Sanji assumes Zoro's opinion of him is hatred and it would hurt less for him to do this, but because Sanji knows only Zoro would be able to treat the promise as it is. Because he would put Sanji's wishes before any feelings he has for him. It's not that Zoro doesn't care, but I think he respects people's ideals and decisions to the extent of being able to kill Sanji if he so desires.
That being said, he'd do it if there's no other way to fix it. If it's either dying or living as an emotionless machine, which is the same as dying for Sanji, Zoro would fulfill his promise. And there is just... Something about Luffy not knowing. Their captain. The man they're devoted to the most as if he were their God. Luffy doesn't know. It's something only the captain's wings are aware of and the thought of these two keeping this from Luffy until the end is just insane. Not even trying to make it romantic here, but the bond and respect these two have for each other is crazy.
Maybe it's the poetry of it all, too. Somebody like Zoro, who has looked at Death in her face multiple times and said "no", ending Sanji's life, who wants to give in to death to not experience a fate worse than death for him.
#bean posting zosan this is so rare and weird don't get used to it sweeties#kind of tired of people jumping to extremes with these two btw like-#they don't hate each others but they're also not best friends-- respect is something they value even more than those things#they're not good for my mental health they make me go insane#this wasn't meant to be in a shippy way but idk if you wanna see it as romantic you do you bc it could def be#it depends on my mood#i consider myself a zosan shippers on random days#you could also say sanji thinks zoro doesn't give a fuck about him and that's why he tells him bc we know this guy's self-worth is awful#but i also like to think it's because zoro's views on life and death are exactly what sanji needs#luffy would try to look for a way to fix this and they others wouldn't be able to do it tbh#i mean if it ever got too serious i think luffy could do it but do you really think sanji's gonna make him go through that#if zoro has to die he wants to die by luffy's hand but if sanji has to die he wants to die without involving their captain#idk if that makes sense okay i haven't slept at all tbf#one piece#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan
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PLEASE STOP COPYING FICS ‼️
I am by no means gatekeeping concepts or tropes. We all know that it’s normal to see the same tropes or AUs be used differently, and that is not plagiarism. However, I recently found a fic that was oddly similar to my old (and discontinued) Gojo x Reader series, Reckless. The CEO! Gojo is nothing new, and neither is an accidental pregnancy trope. The only reason I am concerned is because this Gojo series I found has the exact same themes as Reckless that consists of: a playboy CEO Gojo with a very notorious reputation, a poor reader who is an employee and asset to the company (someone who works closely with Gojo), reader getting knocked up from a one night stand with Gojo, reader with a seemingly dead/absent mother yet still in contact with her father, Gojo with a very traditional family who does not like reader, and Gojo with an ex he struggles to let go of - which are all elements of Reckless.
The first chapter of that Gojo fic is also eerily similar to my first chapter with the same flow of: YN finding out she’s pregnant and her friend being there for her, Gojo saying he’ll take responsibility because ‘they both made the baby’, YN having to move in with Gojo to take care of the baby, and both of them coming to a mutual agreement that their ‘relationship’ will be purely for the baby’s benefit. The flow of events and specific details about the characters’ backgrounds are too similar to mine.
Again, I am not gatekeeping concepts, just as how I’ve had other writers ask me if they could write their own stories or takes based off of the NAOYA’S TROPHY WIFE COLLECTION or the BONTEN HUSBANDS EXCLUSIVE, and I’m fine with that. I’m even happy people are inspired by what I write. But being inspired is completely different from taking someone’s story and posting it as yours. Please trust your own creativity and skills in writing. You can write amazing stories and have people love them without having to steal from others.
It’s sad to say this is not the first time I, and other writers, have been plagiarized. It’s even more upsetting to know that a friend of mine who has also written a Gojo series (that I’m sure you all know and dearly love) experiences the same issues with the same person. The fact that this is happening to many writers out there is disheartening. We work hard and pour a lot of love in the stories we create. None of us are getting paid for this, and we simply want to share our passions with others. So please, let us be kinder with one another and show love and support the right way. If you love a fic, you give feedback and rb/comment + show support to the writer. You don’t steal their ideas and play it off as your own because you liked it.
#for context: my Reckless series was posted around 2021 and this new Gojo series I found was posted in 2023 (when I was already in my hiatus)#i’m just... this is so upsetting. i have been in love with jjk for so long but i won’t lie and say the fandom hasn’t given me problems :(#there always seems to be drama or issue going around... why can’t we just all enjoy reading x reader fics in peace#if its not hate anons or discourse it’s plagiarism. it’s tiring#this is one of the reasons why i moved fandoms after my jjk works. because i used to love it sm but i just felt stressed out#and imagine my shock when i saw my friend got plagiarized bcos no way you guys are doing this to someone who worked hard on a fic for YEARS#imagine my double shock when i see that writer’s page and see a similar work to mine too like 😭 c’mon guys. you guys have big brains.#you can write something juicy and awesome without ripping it off from others#and please do not send hate to this creator at all! that is not the intention of this post. i will also not be dropping any names.#now i’m aware i take inspos from other media too - i say it often that my fics take inspo from k-dramas or songs#but i take inspirations only. i do not copy the entire thing and then tweak one minor detail to make it ‘a little different’
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8c0805a24bc0aeef43e0a1291f60c46e/4a43e8e513720444-00/s540x810/bae7881c3dc25a6d74ae40f4ac99d231814f1c81.jpg)
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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FOREWARNING FOR GROSS-OUT SKIN CLOSEUP SHIT DON'T YELL AT ME FOR SHOWING YOU has anyone else gotten this really weird phenomenon on youtube. I swear every algorithm on every website is actively and purposely worse now. Where you'll be scrolling through vids after searching for something (I was looking at crochet stuff) and SANDWICHED IN THE MIDDLE OF ACTUAL SEARCH RESULTS... YOU KNOW. LIKE THINGS RELEVANT TO THE KEYWORDS I TYPED
are a couple of completely out of left field SHOCK VALUE VIDS. like to intentionally be alarming. drama vids and things you're enticed to click on bc they're upsetting, and deep deep closeups on zits. what the fuck is going on. Sandwiched between videos about GRANNY SQUARES. crack? is it crack we're smoking????
#are you telling me I can search for crochet patterns and be fed videos of pimple popping and news about anorexic influencers?#THESE ARE NOT ADS!!!! they're just IN THERE. I have ublock I've got all that stuff. these are just completely irrelevant videos#in the search results after I typed like. granny square patterns. or something really basic like that#NASTY shit#and I know it's not the algorithm clocking me bc I can tell when they do that. but I hate hate hate pimple popping videos#so that's not gonna be it.#when mr. algorithm gets me I can smell it. because guess what. nail polish. it's always nail polish.#and I don't watch upsetting shit abt the starvation girl or anything either. and I don't follow drama clickbait channels#WHAT IS THIS. WHERE AM I.#why did they make me look at this!!!!#sergle.txt#you're not allowed to yell at me btw I gave you a warning. which was more than I got. we're in this together now.#i'm not sure what to tag this as bc if i tag it as body horror then ppl will bark at me bc zits are natural. is it natural to get#a camera this close to big irritated holes and boils on your face. lesions. cysts. is that natural. are we friends#do i need to be close enough to smell you. put my eyes directly into the holes in your face
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Just discovered the term les4les. Are we really trying to make biphobia cool again
#it was on a blog with sapphic in the username too 🙃 but les4les in their about and tagged on every one of their posts#like you realize sapphic includes bisexual women right?#went to the tag just to make sure i wasnt insane and half the posts were also tagged with wlw#like you realize that ALSO includes bisexual women right??#some dumbass was like 'the discourse around les4les is insane how come we cant say that but bisexuals can talk about#how they wont ever date women' like ??? where are all these mythical bisexual women who hate dating women#someone else was bragging about being gold star#what the hell is happening. is this 2014? we're returning to 'women who date/have dated men are tainted by them' discourse#but this time asking people to pretend its not hateful#and also reappropriating all the terms we created specifically to build community between lesbians and bi/pan women?#(bc of course none of them even acknowledged the existence of pansexuality as a label either)#first blog was also like 'i need butch mutuals 🥺 why do no butches follow me 🥺'#well idk about any other butches but IM not going to follow anyone whos biphobic to my friends and partners#and as someone who identified as 'old fashioned' they should EXPECT me to protect my femmes anyway right?#anyway. probably shouldnt even bother posting this but that was such a stupid thing to wake up to#rambling
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So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?
Things I need to do:
Finish reading icebound land
Make a whole lotta art that I promised people
Research study abroad programs
At least one Dutch lesson a day
Keep my room clean
Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)
My math homework
Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane
Eat at 7pm
Various things I enjoy as to not go insane
All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00
So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks
But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup
#“but you never actually do that stuff! you just sit and scroll!”#yeah cause if I'm not doing what I need to I'm not Allowed to do anything else#but I'm just. too tired. to do what I need yo#I hate high school#rambles#adhd#executive dysfunction#<- I've heard that this kinda mental math can be a symptom of those things? idk#im so tired#burnout#adhd burnout#(????? I think????)#high school#I'm just so tired of all of this#the sun is going down way too early and I barely speak at all at school and I never finish work early anymore and the teen center is loud#and I still want to be active in the fandom but I don't have time to make posts anymore#and I don't have any in person friends anymore and I don't know when the last time I got a hug was#and I'm just. so. tired. my room is clean and I have good grades and I talk to my friends everyday and I shower routinely#why the hell am I so stressed#I do everything I'm supposed to do#I just want to go somewhere else man#The Netherlands hopefully#I wanna actually DO something#go on a trip for band#not just finish the work put in front of me day after day after day after day#I wasn't built for this shit#I'm so fucking tired
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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