#WHY DID I LIKE FITZ

[book-lover85]

Stay at home dad and artist on commission Keefe

[lostandbackagain]

under-appreciated moment in fool's assassin was when bee looks at fitz shortly after the funeral and goes "well,, I have a lot of things to do so I'll be seeing you around i guess"

[bookwyrminspiration]

We need your sage counsel in these trying times (abscourse)

Gather round, everyone. Fintan has no ass and Keefe has no abs.

Do the characters say he has abs? Yes, as Katie showed here. Can we trust what these characters (Keefe and Sophie) say? No.

As I demonstrated here, we cannot trust Sophie's recollections. Especially since they relate to Keefe, and she has a history of bias towards him. We also cannot trust Keefe, who was attempting to distract Sophie while injured. He already has a history of jokes and exaggeration, and this instance exacerbates that, meaning he cannot be taken at face value (especially since he's talking to his crush).

Also, I think the intention of him having abs is to contribute to his supposed hotness/love interest appeal, and I don't think abs necessary to be hot or appealing. In fact, I find their use to this purpose quite bland and overused.

Therefore, Keefe is absless.

[the-way-astray]

strieefitz!!

how did this happen. how is this happening. why.

[vessels-for-good-intent]

stop making nick carraway some innocent little twink he’s clearly NOT

[spectrum-color]

One of the most frustrating things for me in Tawny Man (and honestly beyond) is how Fitz acts like he was victimized by Burrich in him marrying Molly and raising Nettle as part of their family.

He refuses to acknowledge that it is primarily his own fault, because he refused to accept their marriage or let Molly exist in his life as anything other than his idealized mommy-wife, so he let them believe that he was dead until he had no choice. He also won’t pin any blame on Molly because he doesn’t want to risk the fantasy of his dream girl who will fix all of his problems and replace what he lost when he was abandoned to the Farseers as they live happily ever after in a pastoral nuclear family. That leaves Burrich as the villain who stole his family from him, because that allows him to deflect the consequences of his own choices onto a more convenient target (it also means he doesn’t have to really think about the way Burrichs attempts to instill shame and fear over his Wit were abusive because he can redirect the anger he feels over it toward a safer topic.) Burrich was the closest thing Fitz ever had to a father but he doesn’t even bother to mourn him when he dies because he’s too busy relentlessly pursuing his widow against her wishes in an attempt to relive his adolescence.

It is all very believable and true to Fitz’s character (he is often a victim, but he also leans on that as a crutch so he doesn’t have to take responsibility or own up to his decisions,) but oh my god it is so so annoying.

[moomin279]

Not loving the series but tbh nothing wouldve probably been as good as what i wanted it to be

[lady-starkiller]

it's extremely difficult to derail prof crozier from the class curriculum but the true masters know that the easiest way is to frame the off topic question in a way that directly leads to crozier being able to refute one of the other faculty's recent research

it's extremely easy to derail prof fitzjames from the class curriculum but it comes at the cost of fitz putting it as a surprise question on the final

[whatkindofnameisella]

fucking hate this dumbass chivalry patience burrich love triange IT'S GOING THE WRONG WAY!!! BURRICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE GAY FOR CHIVALRY!!!! ROBIN HOBB WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOMEGIRL!!!!!

[camelspit]

crying?

[fitzfunnymoments]

Tummy hurt ough </3

[radioactiveshitstorm]

engages in the completely normal behaviour of dumping some horrendous deep personal backstory lore in the tags of a simple meme post

as a treat :)

[bookwyrminspiration]

rolling up my sleeves as I open my doc before writing another variation of the exact same fic I've written a dozen times before

[mistninja]

girl help i just saw the most stupid review ever

[cavennmalore]

i cannot believe i am being flamed on a post about ALVAR

just realized alvar is like a forty year old man. what the hell

[thatgirlstrawberry]

How to Lie to a Behavior Analyst pt. 2

In which Y/N still thinks her dad doesn’t know about her and Spencer’s relationship. Rossi sets his daughter up on a date at his book signing party….

Warnings: semi-smutty scenes, cursing, you’ll probably get second hand embarrassment, Fluff, cute/horny/loveydovey!Spencer, JEALOUS!SPENCER

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

“Do you think we have too much sex?”

This question caught Spencer off guard seeing as they were literally in the middle of having sex. He paused his movements and looked at her. “Uhhhh no?” He shook his head. “Do you?”

Y/N quirked an eyebrow. “No. But I’m just trying to figure out the societally acceptable amount of sex to be having.”

With this Spencer busted out laughing. “Do you think we have over the societally acceptable amount?”

She shrugged, smiling up at him. “I mean we have sex a lot but I don’t think too much.”

Spencer chuckled. “Where did this come from?”

Y/N wiggled her hips as Spencer continued his movements, pushing into her over and over again. “Oh fu— it’s just my next door neighbor has like a lot of sex— all the time and it’s loud.” She nodded, moaning in between her words. “Like I was up until four am one night because she was moaning like a fuckin’ diseased cat.”

“How come I’ve never heard her?” He asked, groaning loudly.

Y/N titled head. “Oh so you want to hear her moan?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

“What— no!” Spencer exclaimed.

She rolled her eyes laughing. “Kidding!” She hit his shoulder.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

The next day, Y/N was at her dad’s house baking a bunch of desserts for his book signing party the next day.

“Dad, how many mini strawberry shortcakes did you need?” She asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Um… 10, i think.” He nodded. “Y/N/N, sweetheart can I ask you a question?” He asked.

She cleared her throat. “Sure.” She smiled, wiping the flower off of her forehead.

“Are you seeing anyone?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow. She froze for a millisecond.

She remembered the text Spencer had sent her two weeks before at the dinner party her father held.

How to lie to a behavior analyst: Don’t maintain excessive eye contact, keep your voice even, say my name if you refer to me, don’t fidget— I love you

She licked her lips and glanced at him before busying her hands with mixing the cake batter together. “No, why?” She asked, her voice calm.

He shrugged and leaned on the kitchen island. She didn’t turn back to look at him. “Oh, good.” He smiled. “I have this friend and he has a son. I wanted you guys to meet.”

Y/N swallowed hard and let out a quiet scoff. “Really?” She shook her head, turning around and smiling. “You’re trying to set me up now?”

Rossi shrugged. “I just noticed that you haven’t been in a relationship in a while and I think you would love Benjamin Fitz.”

“Your friends with Eric Fitz and his son?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Eric Fitz was a very… controversial news paper company man. Her shoulders tensed.

“Yes. He always made me look good in the paper.” Rossi joked, strolling over to his daughters side. “So, what do you say? Will you meet Benny?”

If I say no, he’ll definitely catch on.

Y/N smiled tightly and inhaled through her nose. “I-of course! It’s not like I’m seeing anyone so, it should be fun!” She said, internally scolding herself for speaking so fast.

Rossi nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll let Eric know.”

Spencer is gonna fuckin’ kill me

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Y/N shivered as Spencer’s finger tips lightly glided across her back. They were laying in bed just soaking up each other’s company. She had been holding back the fact that she was set up on a date by her father since she saw him.

She could tell Spencer was about to fall asleep because his fingers started to move slower and slowly. “Hey, Spence?” She spoke quietly.

He inhaled deeply, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Yeah, baby?”

“Uh…” She bit her lip. “So… I um… my dad— he set me up on a date tomorrow night at his book signing party.”

Spencer’s eyes got wide. “What!?”

The woman sighed and sat up, straddling his thighs. “I— my dad asked me if I was seeing anyone and I told him no because then he would find out about us and then he asked me if he could set me up with his friend’s son and I said yes because I thought it would seem like I was seeing someone even though I just told him that I wasn’t.” She spoke very quickly and Spencer found it hard to keep with her words but he got the gist.

“So you’re going on a date with someone else?” He asked, his eyes dropped down.

Y/N tilted her head and she bit her lip. “Aw Spence, no— well yes but no.” She shook her head. “It might be a date for him but it won’t be a date for me. It’s gonna be torture.” She placed her hands on his cheeks. “I’m gonna hate every second of it because I won’t be with you, okay?”

Spencer nodded. “W-well… what are you gonna wear?” He asked, his eyes avoiding hers.

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek. “I will literally show up in sweatpants if that would make you feel more comfortable.”

He pouted a little bit. “You look really sexy in sweatpants.” Y/N giggled quietly.

“I’ll wear a trash bag— a potato sack! Anything you want me to wear, I’ll wear it.” She nodded.

Spencer smiled, his pouty lips fading away. “I want you to wear…” He thought for a minute. “That pretty white dress that I like on you.”

She quirked a brow. “But you said I look sexy in that one.” She traced circles on his chest.

Spencer leaned forward and kissed her. “I want him to see how sexy you look and I want him to know that he can’t have you.” He whispered. A breath left her lips and she smiled.

She was about to lean in and kiss him again but the ‘diseased cat’ who she shared a wall wit started making noises.

Y/N gasped and slapped Spencer’s chest. “Oh my god! Do you hear!?”

Spencer stopped and listened for a moment before laughing. “Holy shit, why does she sound like that?” He asked through his laughter.

Y/N groaned and rolled her eyes. “We’re never gonna be able to sleep now!” She shouted, doubting that cat lady could hear it over her dramatic moans.

Spencer pulled her closer with a smirk. “We’ll just have to show her what pretty noises sound like.”

“Oh my god, please make me scream.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Y/N nervously looked around as she clutched her bag in her hands. She stood by her dad’s signing table. He wasn’t there, he was making rounds but she stood there in her tight white dress, waiting for him to show up with her ‘date’. She rolled her eyes even thinking about it.

Soon, her father and a tall blonde man emerged from the crowd of people and headed towards the table.

The first think she noticed about Benjamin Fitz was that he looked her up and down unashamed.

She gave a fake smile to her father and a head nod to Benjamin. “Bella, you look lovely.” Rossi smiled, hugging his daughter and kissing her on both cheeks.

“This is an amazing turn out, daddy.” She smiled, kissing his cheek. They stood in the rental area of a very fancy wine and dine restaurant. She looked at the blonde man next to her father. “You must be Benjamin. It’s nice to meet you.” She smiled, holding out her hand.

“Please, call me Ben.” He winked and instead of shaking her hand, he pulled her in for a hug. His hands landed on her waist and her eyes widened, pulling away quickly as she laughed it off. “And your Y/N?”

She nodded, glancing at her father who had squinted eyes, observing the two. “Y-yes. It’s nice to meet you.” She said again, looking back at him. She had to admit, he wasn’t ugly.

“You as well, sweetheart.”

Y/N blew air past her lips and she looked around. Rossi cleared his throat. “Oh, I see one of my friends.” He smiled, glancing between his daughter and Ben. “I’ve got to make rounds. Have fun you two.”

“Thanks, dad.” She gritted her teeth as he walked away.

Ben looked at her. “Where do they keep the booze?”

Be fucking for real.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Y/N had been leaning against the wall listening to Ben talk about being a Lacrosse star in high school and college. She nodded along but she wasn’t really listening.

Suddenly, she saw a very familiar face over his shoulder. Her eyes widened and she almost choked on the champagne she was chugging.

“Uh, sorry to stop you there Ben but uh… could you give me a minute?” She asked. She didn’t give him a chance to respond before she pushed off of the wall and walked around him.

Her boyfriend stood in the middle of the room with a book in his hand and a very sexy suit. He looked at her and smiled. “Spencer, what the hell are you doing here?” She asked, looking around to make sure that her father wasn’t there and watching them.

He smiled. “I just so happen to have a book that Rossi hasn’t signed.” He shrugged.

“Oh, really?” She asked, a smile forming on her lips. “That’s the only reason you’re here?”

“Mhm.”

She squinted her eyes. “Not because you want to spy on Ben and I?”

Spencer blew a raspberry and rolled his eyes. “Please. Me? Spying? Nooooo.” Y/N raised her eyebrows.

“Okay.” She nodded. “Well, I gotta get back to my date so… I’ll see you later.” She winked.

She walked back over to Ben, swaying her hips for Spencer to look at. “Who was that?” The blonde asked.

Y/N sighed. “Oh, just one of my dad’s coworkers.” She shrugged.

Ben scoffed. “That twig is an FBI agent? He’s too tiny.” Y/N raised her eyebrows.

That twig’s dick Is most definitely not tiny.

She let out a fake giggle and waved his joke off. “More champagne?” She asked, nodding her head towards the catering woman who walked around with a tray.

“More? Really?” Ben asked. “You must be trying to get me drunk so you can take me home.” He laughed.

Y/N’s tongue slid across her teeth. “Yeah, most definitely not.” She shook her head. The woman walked by her and she snatched a glass off of the tray.

Spencer clenched his jaw as he watched Ben stare at his girlfriend like some porn actress.

I’m gonna kill him, I’m gonna kill him, I’m gonna kill hi—

“Reid! You made it!”

He snapped out of his jealous daze and looked down at Rossi. “Yes, I did.” He nodded.

Rossi held up his pen and his free hand. Spencer opened the book to the front page and held it up for him. He sighed the book quickly.

Spencer sighed before speaking. “If you knew Y/N and I are together then why did you set her up with him?” He asked, heavily annoyed.

He hummed. “I wanted to see how much she cared.”

Spencer squinted her eyes. “What do you mean?”

The man smiled. “I wanted to see if she cared enough about you and your relationship by going out with possibly the biggest pig in the city to to make sure that I didn’t find out about it. I wanted to see if she cared enough to keep you safe.”

Spencer let the corners of his mouth turn up. “Rossi, I love your daughter.” He spoke.

“And she loves you, kid. I Can tell.”

He sighed. “Thank you for not telling her. I don’t want her to be upset or nervous.”

Rossi nodded. “Anything to make my girl happy.” He sighed, watching her roll her eyes as she drank more champagne. “I’ve got more signings to do. See ya, kid.”

He nodded as he walked away, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he saw Ben reach to push her hair behind her ear. She moved away smoothly, playing it off like she had to cough. She kept trying to glance at Spencer without actually turning around.

To: Kool-Aid girl 💘

Meet me in the bathroom in five?

She looked around and saw him before looking back at Ben when she felt her phone buzz. “Sorry, about this.” She shook her head as she dug through her bag for her phone.

From: Kool-Aid girl 💘

Of fucking course

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Their lips were heavy on each other’s. Her legs were wrapped around his waist while she was sitting on the counter.

She moaned so quietly as he thrusted his fingers in and out of her. Her hands grabbed at whatever they could. Her eyes never left his though. That was the one thing he wanted.

“Fuck, Spence—“ Her eyes watered at the immense amount of pleasure she was experiencing.

“This is mine— no one else’s.” He grunted. Y/N nodded and bit her lip. “Are you close baby?”

“So fucking close.” She nodded. “You’re- fuck— the only one that gets me there.” She added because 1, it was true and 2, she knew he was feeling a little insecure because of Ben.

Soon, she came on his fingers and shut her eyes, panting. She didn’t have to worry about getting her dress wet because Spencer had pulled it up as soon as they got in there.

Knock knock knock

“Hey is someone in there.”

Y/N’s eyes widened as she and Spencer recognized the voice. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Uh— it’s just me, dad.” She said, sliding off of the counter making sure that he heels hit the ground silently.

“What are you doing in the men’s restroom and why is the door locked? There’s like forty stall in there.”’

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” She whispered. “Uh, I had a woman emergency and someone was in the other restroom.” She nodded her head at Spencer towards the door at the other end of the room. She had no idea what it led to but oh what the hell, right?

Spencer started walking silently towards it as she pulled her dress back down to where it was supposed to be.

She watched him walk through the door and disappear and sighed. She unlocked the bathroom door and smiled at her dad. “Hi, daddy. Sorry.” She mumbled, walking past him.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Now, Spencer and Y/N laid together in his bed. They were just in each other’s company. Again, his fingers were drawing random patterns on her back as she dozed off.

“Hey, Y/N? Before you go to sleep…” He spoke quietly not to startle her. She hummed and nuzzled her face into his chest.

“Thank you for caring.”

She smiled and squeezed him. “I love you. I will always care.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Holaaaaaaaa

I love this. Thanks to everyone who loved the first one so much!!!!!

You guys are amazing and I wanna kiss all of you.

Also ask me questions in my ask box!! I would love to answer them :))))

Anywaysssssssssss love ya bunches ❤️❤️❤️