#WHY ARE THEY SO BAD AT THE GAME!!!!

[demonphannie]

HI JASSSS so nice to see u again :')

it's nice to gif again!! i'm still a dapg sims hater but i just want them to continue making videos together regularly so i must gif

[doctormori]

I love this book to death, so here's some things I noticed <3

[bixels]

In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.

He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!

You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).

Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!

But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!

[pipskippy]

characters i have drawn just soooo many times i love you forever thena!!!!!!

[lotus-pear]

the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical

[ninyard]

fox tweets (pt.2)

[blueskittlesart]

i take it back this shit is easy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Tis but a flesh wound!

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[hauntingsunshine14]

so, another thing about collegiate teams is that they usually have an alumni game.

now the foxes don't have any alumni by the end of the books, but they will eventually.

now this might be different for a sport like exy (I played lax which really dosent have a large professional league, but the big d1 schools i think still do this too) but yk what it usually happens during pre-season anyways and its always a ton of fun.

Because what happens is that it's usually a game of alumni vs current players. and that is hilarious.

(Dan gets back on the court and gets to win against her current players)

(the current players are just like 'this is so unfair' and 'what the fuck do you mean I have to guard kevin motherfucking day' or ' how the fuck am I supposed to score? minyard is in goal???')

Neil has the time of his life btw - because an alumni game is also a chance for everyone to play on the foxes' court again, a chance to come home!

[goldenpinof]

Phil's "we've known each other our whole lives" AU

[probablybadrpgideas]

Paladin with a firm oath against killing but keeps bringing it up in really weird contexts.

"Thank you for the christmas sweater! Just to remind you, I do have a vow against killing you over it. What, no, I love the sweater! I just wanted you to know it would violate my oath to kill you over it!"

[stelleduarte]

hear me out... snow lands on top of me

[levelofyoureye]

me reading the ballad of songbirds and snakes: hm yeah, i guess i see the appeal as to why people ship coriolanus and sejanus but i don’t really see it. coriolanus doesn’t really like him that much anyways, i don’t think he truly loves anybody.

me watching that one scene in ballad of songbirds and snakes: hm coryo why’re you looking at him like that? why are you standing so close hm?? why are you mumbling to him in that sort of manner? damn bro you wanna kiss him soooooo bad don’t you. lol fucking gayass

[britcision]

Indie ttrpg designers

We seem to be back in the “dnd sucks why don’t you just play Other Games (yours)” and I have a single question for you in return

Do I get to roll a d20?

Because I like the d20

That shape pleases me

I do not wish to roll a random amount of d6s or d8s or any of them other fuckers

I wish to roll the d20 because icosahedrons please me

I will also accept d12 but the other shapes all have less mouthfeel so if that’s what your game’s based on, it is not for me

I’d also prefer more than four stats but I’m not gonna lie it is the shape of the math rocks so like

Rec your d20 based indie ttrpgs friends cuz every single one I’ve opened is them little cube fuckers or the double pyramid and I Require Round

[bad-kendi]

[theseusgardens]

This could've been our bloody ben, they wasted my man on a background character. And don't get me started on them removing Kermit and Elmo, why get ride of Oscars family?! They are as important too🫠🫠