#WHOA me going to back actually posting my stuff nice

[alchemistgoose]

I LOVE U SICKLY OLD MAN

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Okay, so this request got inspired by your post of how the Mercs react to Y/N telling them they have PTSD. Not sure how the situations go but what about a hurt/comfort Mercs x Y/N when they unknowingly, or somehow, triggered Y/N’s trauma?

Y/N knows they didn’t mean it but it’s scares them because Y/N doesn’t breakdown like THAT. Y/N tells them it’s okay, although they are triggered they find comfort with the Mercs because they make them feel safe. Mercs just being there for them, listening, and like asks Y/N to let them know if they need anything.

(It’s not often I see these kinds of requests with x reader/y/n stuff, but your post did make me smile a bit as someone with PTSD)

I understand your point of view. Thank you, by the way. I feel very alone in my struggles and it’s nice to hear i’m not.

TF2 Mercs Scare Y/N With PTSD On Accident

Scout:

- Oh.. Fuck. Immediately goes into panic mode because he’s a very empathetic person. You can see it on his face as he struggles to hold it together. He knows freaking out will only make this worse. (He’s less stupid than you think.) Watching you cower and breathe heavily is breaking his heart. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned that name.

- “Hey, whoa whoa, whoa, hey hey, relax. It— It was a different person! I was talking about someone different!” He pauses, trying to deduct a possible solution. The fact you’re telling him it’s fine is making him angry at himself. Why would he recklessly slip up like that in front of somebody so important?! He wants you to beat him up. “No, No. You need to like — beat the shit out of me for that. Don’t ever settle for less in a person. Like, actually, beat the shit out of me.”

- This is definitely causing some stares. Scout rarely at all takes accountability for his actions because of how on the defense he is. Seeing this side of him is uncanny. Scout takes you by the shoulders and pulls you into a big hug. Your face immediately meeting his chest. When he was a child, his mother would give him physical affection to subdue his panic attacks. This is the first thing that came to mind.

- “Easy, easy. Alright? That stupid shit won’t ever happen to you again. Not while I’m here.” He whispers in your ear. Running his fingers through your hair. Somehow, he comes rightly by his mother. He even forces himself to steady his breathing on behalf of you. He knows you’ll calm down eventually.

——————————————————————————-

Soldier:

- All it took was one disagreement. One. Single. Sideye from Soldier and you suddenly got transported into the past unwarranted. Your breathing became shallow and you felt like passing out. The impending doom was indescribable. At first you wanted to lash out and attack him for this. But Soldier quickly tilted his helmet up in alarm upon seeing your unexpected reaction. You had to kneel down.

- “Private?” He asked. His voice was more higher pitched than usual. The sight of somebody he loved breaking into pieces like janga blocks all so suddenly was shocking. He was briefly scolded and slapped to death by Medic for triggering your PTSD before, and you didn’t want that for him again. “It’s fine— I’ts fine—“ You said. “No, it fucking isn’t.” He answers.

- “It isn’t fine that you’re feeling this way. I’m going to go into your ear and fix that damn hippo campus or whatever, so help me god.” He said, his eyes full of despair as he knelt down beside you to hesitantly place a hand on your back and rub you. His answer was so unbelievably stupid you almost snapped out of it.

- “I’m sorry for glaring.” He said, sort of laughing at his own pettiness and shaking his head. He truly felt like gutting himself. As i’ve mentioned, Soldier knows full well what PTSD is. The world war did numbers on his comrades’ mental health. He’s seen people completely crumble under the weight of tragedy. “Sometimes it’s just the little things, isn’t it? One moment you’re in the present, and the next moment you stand on the hills of the battlefield overlooking the bloodshed, and you wonder: where the hell did we go wrong?”

- You sort of calm down at his attempt to soothe you. Crawling onto his lap and shoving your face into his uniform. Soldier allowed you to do this. A distant and exhausted look in his eye as he defeatedly fell back against the wall. “Did you feel that way in the war?” You mutter to him. Wondering where his knowledge came from.

- Soldier was still holding his rocket launcher in the other hand. He turned it to the side to examine it for a second. “Eh…” He muttered back. Noting the blood on the handle that was spilt earlier on the frontlines. “I’m just one of those war dogs whose mental strength rivals Zeno of citium himself, I guess.” He said sarcastically.

____________________________________________

Demoman:

- Immediately tries to distract you from the horrible things you begin to relive. Shoves you into your quarters and locks the door. Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t have liked this, but he’s made it clear to give you your space. You sit on the edge of your bed, unsettled, whilst he peaks out the blinds of your window.

- “Datse’ sum wee ass birds sittin ow on the tree out there. Look at em, bloody fat roosters dey are.” He says, as you look away at the ground. He notices your lack of attention and sighs. Taking an abundance of alcohol into his mouth. “Hey look, ye wanna know sumthin?” He points his flask at you. “Lemme tell you sumthin about explosives.”

- “Once a landmine explodes, kablooey. Thatse it. No goin’ back. But yer brain ain’t like that.” He tells you, pointing at your head. Frustratingly, you roll your eyes “Why’d you bring me in here, Demoman? And — thanks but my fucking wounds are unfixable.” Your tone sounds more annoyed than you’d like it to be. But you couldn’t help it right now, you felt like your body was attacking itself.

- “NAH. You ain’t. y’know why?” He knocked on his own head with his flask. “See this thing er’? this thing can mend itself. Unlike an arm or leg. OR AN EYE.” He made sure to put emphasis on that last part for some reason as he spoke it to the ceiling. Tavish still kept his respectful distance as he paced around the room. “Isn’t that just my luck? Enough about dat, tho. Look at ye! Just look at ye! You’re here. Despite those aforementioned metaphorical landmines goin off! Isn’t that crazy? There’s so much space in between what happened and whatse to come. Dont be impatient with yerself. I’ll follow you through this dense forest. Okay? You go there and then you’re there, and once you’re there, you’re there and then you’re there. Y’know? I’ll get you there.” He’s clearly drunk but this somehow helped. You watch him clear his throat and unsteadily sit down in a chair. Sitting in silence with you.

—————————————————————————

Engineer:

- Engineer is an adult. He has (mostly) mastered the art of keeping calm on behalf of a panicking person’s sake. “Hey now…” You hear that thick, creamy drawl behind you. What had triggered you was a loud noise in the server room followed by the crashing of metal echoing off the walls. Engineer happened to be nearby. “That was all me, sorry for the scare pardner.” He tilts his hard hat in respect. He must’ve heard your yelp.

- As you sat cowering against those old computers, tears flooding down your cheeks, Engineer approached you like he would an injured stray kitten. Slowly kneeling down, a refusal to make any sudden movements. His wrench in the other hand had a dent in the adjustable jaw. “Was tryin’ to tinker with somethin’ and some shit fell onto the grating. Ain’t nobody gonna hurt you.” He said. Tilting your chin up to admire your face. Even as you were caked in tears and sweat, he still found profound beauty in this.

- He was making an effort to lie. The wrench had traces of dark red blood on it. Your eyes peaked over his shoulder and you caught a glimpse of an enemy spy’s shoes just behind the mess of computers. Engineer was a good liar. If it weren’t for the dead spy beyond him then you would’ve believed his comforting lie. It wasn’t the spy you were scared of though.. The noise did it all. “Ain’t nobody gonna hurt you.” He whispered again. “It’s alllllll in the past.”

- voooooOoshh. Yeah, figures :/

- “Would you excuse me for a sec, darlin?” He planted a kiss on your forehead, whipping around as he stood up and bitch slapped that same enemy spy with his wrench. Watching him slam against the machinery and lie bleeding on the ground. “Dead ringer, seriously?” He asked. “je te déteste.” (I fucking hate you.) The enemy spy choked out. You felt slightly better afterwards. Knowing Engineer would be able to protect you before anything could truly occur.

—————————————————————————

Heavy:

- Offers to beat the shit out of anybody who triggers your ptsd. TO DEATH. He comes pretty close to doing so a bunch of times. Scout had unintentionally done this and he couldn’t walk for a week afterwards. Heavy was pretty certain he crushed some of his spine. So imagine his dismay when your vacant eyes couldn’t leave a poster on his wall. He knew that stare anywhere — in fact — he had that disconnected stare before.

- Heavy snapped you out of your momentary dissociation by ripping the poster down and crumbling it up. “Heavy did not like that book anyway…” He said, frowning as he threw it away in the trash bin next to his bed. “Come. Do not look at things that remind you. Not good for health.” He beckoned his large hand over to his bed and you laid down next to him. Instinctively cuddling into his chest to try and even out your breathing, But your agony was evident. He could feel your heart practically bursting out of your chest.

- “fetal position.” He instructed you. You did so, hugging your entire body. It was then he took you into his arms and applied light pressure. He had learnt to do this from a Russian psychology paper. Your pain was quickly dying down after this. Who knew being squished to death would help so much? The lingering feelings of dread would remove themselves from you in record time. Normally it would be hours or even days. Every time this happens, he’ll use pressure therapy to aid you.

- If you dislike that type of stuff, he’ll read you a children’s book. For some reason those always helped him. Maybe even take you into the main lobby area to sit down with the boys and listen to their conversation. The white noise of their stupid conversations is distracting, and the presence of friends is always comforting.

——————————————————————————

Pyro:

- :((((((((((((( Looks completely fucking devastated.

- They’re quite reasonable. Immediately asks you what triggered you, and how they can keep you away from it. They’re patient and observant. Especially if you’re incapable of answering them. Their senses will eventually find the object, smell, or word, etc that had caused this in the first place. Silence to Pyro is always louder than words. They make quick work of the issue.

- They tell everybody on the team about this. (Which takes a while by the way because nobody can fucking understand them.) And go into huge detail about why they shouldn’t have/say certain things around you. Nobody’s allowed to rudely question them or else somebody’s belongings are going up in flames.

- Speaking of setting people on fire.. People aren’t allowed to call you a faker either. This happens way too often. How stupid can people truly get? Said people go missing after a week or so and the Tuefort police can never find the body. Every time this happens, you know who to blame. For some reason you also find out later down the line that several power classes were working in cooperation with Pyro’s murders. Thanks guys.

- If present in their room, they’ll bring a bunch of their plushies over to you and cover you in blankets. Watching old kid’s movies with you to make you feel better. This especially works well if you sfw age regress to cope with ptsd. Will 100% be your caregiver.

—————————————————————————-

Sniper:

- God dammit fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck why didn’t he just shut his big mouth and die god dammit fuck fuck fuck he wants to die FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NOOO WHY DID YOU GO SILENT

- It was the way he said something that got you. It sounded too familar to you-know-whatsit. You were in his sniper nest when this happened. He took his eye from the scope to see you on the floor holding your chest and trying in vain to control the breathing issues you were encountering. “SsShit!” He hissed angrily at himself, getting up and sitting next to you on the floor. He didn’t even make a move to touch you. He knew how horrible things could feel in moments like these. It wasn’t until you returned the favor by leaning your head against him did he put his arm around you.

- “Sniper, I feel like throwing up..” You say, nausea symptoms setting in. He didn’t have any medicine with him other than painkillers, so he made room for you to lay your head on his lap. Putting his hand on your head. “Easy now. This’ll pass.” He whispered. It was moreso his crazy low voice that began calming you down. Jesus christ he was trying so hard not to blame himself right now.

- He was right though. It was important to believe him. This’ll pass too. It always does. You weren’t in that horrid space right now and the nest was dead silent minus the chirping of song birds outside. He remained on guard the entire time you rested on him. His eyes looking at the door, then the hole he peeped his gun through, then the door again.

- He said nothing the entire time. What was there to say? Your past had been eroded. He had no excuses nor complaints. Not even a single question. Sniper was purposefully making himself soundless to aid your recovery process. Every so often when you twitched, and started breathing heavier than normal, he’d rub your scalp in response. This is how he comforts you during a flashback most of the time. Allowing you the bliss of silence and touch.

—————————————————————————-

Medic:

- HUH???? Wait a second.. fast breathing, wanting to self harm, panicking like you were about to die, and other familiar symptoms? Oh. He knew right away what this was. Time to make sure.

- You were screaming in the corner of his lab, cowering and on the verge of pissing yourself. It was awful. It was god awful. Probably the worst one you’ve had this year. Heart palpitations and all. Your vision was blurry and you couldn’t focus. Medic knelt down in front of you with an incredibly serious expression across his face. Lifting his finger up and watching you — or at least you trying — to follow it. Some other mercs were nearby watching this go down in slight horror. They had no clue what you struggled with or why you were acting like this. You felt like you were surrounded by a bunch of idiots once again who were too stupid to fathom your experiences.

- “What’s wrong with Y/N, Doc?” Soldier asked. He had the faintest idea of what it was but he didn’t want to assume. “Hm.” Medic answered bluntly in response. He didn’t even look at soldier as he dismissed everybody with the aggressive shooing of his hand. Waiting until everybody left to talk to you.

- He took you gently by the shoulders. “Y/N, look at me.” He instructed. You thrashed a bit and struggled to do so. It was hard to not feel intimidated by all this. “The year is 1971. You’re you. You’re here. The stuff that happened, it happened a long time ago.” He said. When it didn’t ground you enough he made you repeat your age, and the date.

- “It’ll happen again!” You exclaim, “It’s happening again!” You scream in retaliation. Medic shook his head calmly. “No, it is not happening again. You have a brain injury mien schatz—“ He was cut off by your terrified yelling. You clung to him for dear life and desperation and he clung back just as hard. He was kind of thankful nobody was here to witness this.

- He only pulls away to take a deep breath and you instinctively mimicked him, holding it for a few seconds as he counted and then let go. You synced up your breathing with his and after what seemed like forever, the repeated breathing exercises were slightly helping. He had his latex glove on your chest the hold time to make sure you were doing it. Weakness took over you and you threw yourself into another hug. Wanting to be carried by him.

——————————————————————————-

Spy:

- Spy has flashbacks too but they’re less aggressive than yours. He had trained himself to stay composed by suppressing it, and he’d rather not make the same mistake with you. For a spilt second, one could easily mistake his stoic posture as you cried there in his chair as complete indifference. But he felt things far from that. You had dumped all this stuff onto him out of nowhere upon entering his quarters because you were sick of being quiet. It boiled over then and there like a volcano.

- “Hmph.. So it seems once again someone has been failed by a worthless system. Pour l'amour de Dieu.” (For god’s sake.) He angrily snuffed out his cigarette in his ash tray. Crushing it for good measures. His righteous anger was filling the entire room with dread. Spy wasn’t pleasant when he was mad. You made your posture smaller in an attempt to look innocent. You did not want to face his wrath.

- “What is this?” He asked you curiously. “It is not you I am angry at. It is the inept incompetence of those around you.” He sat in his chair adjacent from you. He wanted better for you. So much better. After a moment of silence and Spy rubbing his temples he finally spoke. “I have learnt.. Many languages. In none of them do I have the words for just how angry I am that you suffer this way.” He admitted. Looking at his gloved hands. It was rare he was so vulnerable like this, so it immediately peaked your interest in-between sobs.

- “Perhaps words aren’t enough to describe how even you feel. Yes?” He asked. You were trying to nod in response but you couldn’t focus hard enough to do so. The pain was too much. There was a look in Spy’s eye that suggested he knew that. “Come sit on my lap, let me lull you to sleep.” He offered, holding his arms out.

[kingofmyheart-19]

Begin Again - Chapter 1

***thinking about posting my wattpad stuff here too, starting the first chapter of this book.

Six months prior - Mack's POV

I'm getting Riley ready for bed when my phone rings from the other room.

I look at my watch.

She's late again.

"Mommy? Where momma?" Riley asks me sadly.

"She had work, baby. She will see you in the morning."

She leans in and kisses my cheek, "Okay."

I scoop her up and kiss her cheek, "We love you. So much."

I set her in her crib and turn on her sound machine and then hit the light.

"Night night, mommy!"

I sigh, "Night night, baby."

I close her door and walk to the next room, "Max, come here, boy."

Our big yellow lab runs into the room and hops onto the bed.

I grab my phone and see two missed calls.

Ally.

I push her contact and it quickly gets picked up.

"Hello." A man's voice answers.

"Uh, hello? Who is this?" I ask, concerned.

"Is this the spouse of Allison Hughes?" He asks.

I gulp, "Y-yes? What is going on? Where is my wife?"

Silence.

"Mrs. Hughes? My name is Dr. Snyder, I was your wife's trauma doctor today."

My heart drops.

"What? Where is my wife?" I ask and stand up.

"Your wife was in a terrible accident. She came into my trauma bay and we performed CPR for 30 minutes, but her injuries were too extensive."

I stop pacing.

"No. Where is my wife? I want to talk to her! She-she was on her way home, albeit, late, but she was on her way!"

"Mrs. Hughes, your wife passed away about 30 minutes ago. We were unable to save her. I am so sorry." He says.

My brain is unable to compute what is actually happening.

"We have a two-year-old." Is the only phrase I can say.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Hughes. We will need you to come down to the hospital. It's a formality."

I stare at the bed and feel tears running down my cheeks.

I see the photo of us on our wedding day and when Riley was born.

"Fuck. Okay. I understand. I'll be there, what hospital?"

"UC San Diego Medical Center."

I hang up and rub my face.

'This can't be fucking real. It just can't be.'

I go to my contacts and click the name.

"Hey dude! What's going on?"

"Lauren?" I sniffle.

"Whoa. What's wrong? You and Ally okay?"

The mention of Ally makes me cry harder.

"Shit. This is bad. I'm coming over."

She hangs up and I sink to the floor.

'What am I going to do?'

Present

"Riley! Don't go too far, okay?" I call out.

"Won't, mommy!"

I look out at the ocean and sigh. I look down at my wedding rings that I can't take off.

'I miss you so much, babe.'

I look back up and try to locate Riley, but can't.

"Riley?" I call.

I feel my heart rate increase and call again, "Riley!"

"Mommy, I'm here!"

I whip around and see Riley run up with another girl.

I kneel down and hug her, "You scared me, baby."

"Right here, mommy." She says.

I pull back, "Who's your friend?"

She smiles, "This is Charlie!"

I smile, "Hi, Charlie."

"Hi! My momma is over here!" She says and bolts away.

I watch as she comes back, pulling a woman.

"Whoa, Charlie!" She says.

"Momma! This is Riley, my new friend! And this is her mommy!"

I smile and stand up, "Hi. I'm Mack."

She smiles and I feel butterflies in my stomach.

"Alex. Nice to meet you. Looks like these two are thick as thieves." She laughs.

I nod, "Looks like it."

"Can we go play?" Charlie asks.

"Yeah mommy, can we?" Riley pleads.

"Sure, but we have to go in 10, yeah?"

She nods and runs off with Charlie.

"She's cute, how old?" Alex asks.

"She's 3. What about Charlie?"

She smiles, "She just turned three too."

I nod, "Nice. We will have to exchange numbers so they can have play dates."

She smiles wider, "Totally."

We continue talking when I look at my phone.

"I'm so sorry, but we have to go. Riley, come on!"

She runs over, "Time to see momma?"

I smile sadly, "Yeah, baby. Just like always."

She nods, "Bye, Charlie! See you soon?"

Charlie nods and hugs her, "Yeah!"

I see a look in Alex's eyes, but it quickly changes, "Here's my number."

I grab it from her and nod, "Thank you. I'll text you."

She bobs her head, "Great. Bye!"

I wave and we walk to the car, getting in.

We pull into the cemetery and I park.

"Mommy?"

I sigh, "Yeah, baby?"

"When can momma come home from the cemetery?"

I feel my eyes fill with tears and sigh, getting out of the car.

I open the back door and get her out of her seat, setting her on the ground and kneeling.

"Ry, momma isn't coming home from the cemetery. She died, remember? Her body stopped working and she went to heaven." I say sadly.

She looks down and nods, "Lots of flowers."

I smile, "So many flowers, just like momma liked."

She sighs, "Go talk to momma, now?"

"Yeah, let's go."

She runs ahead and I look up.

'She misses you so much.'

Alex POV - later that week

"Earth to Alex! I'm telling you a story!"

I turn and see Taylor, "Sorry. Zoned out."

"What about? How your divorce with Serv is almost done with?"

I sigh, "No, but also thanks for the reminder."

She chuckles, "It's a good thing. Then you can be free to do what you want or really who you want."

I smile and shake my head, "You're ridiculous."

"Now that you're like settled on the whole being with a woman thing, we have to find you a lady!" She exclaims.

I sigh, "Oh my god."

"Come on! Let's go to the gay bar." She says, pushing my shoulder.

My eyes widen, "I have a three year old. No one wants my baggage."

She sighs, "Dude, you're a catch. Charlie is adorable. Also helps that you're a ridiculously famous soccer player."

I chuckle, "Maybe. I don't want to date another player though."

"Okay. But we will find you someone." She says.

"Sure."

I stand up and walk out of the locker room.

I get to my car and stare at my phone.

'That woman never texted me. Charlie's been asking about Riley.'

I sigh and head towards Charlie's school.

I pull in the parking lot and Mack crosses my mind again.

I shake my head.

'She had a ring on, Alex. Get a grip.'

Mack POV -

The bell rings and I smile, "Alright guys, that's the bell! I'll see you all next week!"

I watch as my high schoolers quickly clamber to get out of my classroom.

I turn and sit at my desk, starting to grade papers.

I glance up and see the photo of Ally and I with Riley, one month before she died.

I sigh and sit back.

"Knock knock, buddy! Time for the weekend!" Lauren waltzes in.

I look at her and smile, "Yup!"

"Let's go out tonight." She says and leans on my desk.

I stare at her and shake my head, "Riley is still having a hard time during bedtime without Ally."

She sighs, "You need a break. Call your mom, she can come watch Ry."

I look down, "I'm really missing her, Laur."

"I know you are, which is why you need a break. Let's go out, get a few beers, nothing crazy, you'll be home by 11. Ally would want you to take a break." She says.

I look back up at her, "Alright. I'll text my mom."

She pats my back, "It'll get better, I promise."

I bob my head, "Okay. I need to go get Riley."

"See you at 8."

She walks out and I lean back, looking up.

"Send me a sign, babe. I don't want to go on without you, but it's hard."

I close my eyes and sigh.

I gather my stuff and head to my car, going to get Riley.

I pull up to her preschool and smile when I see her running out on the playground.

'She's so much like her.'

I get out and she sees me, "Mommy!"

I jog over and pick her up, kissing her cheek.

"Hi my little love!"

"Hi Mrs. Hughes! Can we chat real quick?" Riley's teacher asks.

I nod, "Go play a little more."

I watch as Riley runs off and turn to her teacher.

"What's going on? Everything okay with Riley?" I ask.

She nods, "Yeah, just she's having a hard time napping and has been acting out a little bit."

"Acting out, how?" I inquire.

She sighs, "She's shoving kids, not sharing, wants to be by herself, which as you know, is not like her."

I shake my head, "It's not. She's been struggling with losing Ally."

She nods sadly, "I agree. I really think it'd be beneficial to have her see a social worker."

My eyes widen.

"I know that sounds scary, but you're an educator, you know the importance of getting the right supports in place." She says gently.

I think about it and let out a breath, "I know you're right. I'm just worried, she sleeps with me every night."

She nods, "We will support you guys just like we have been."

I nod, "Thank you, see you Monday."

"Come on, Ry!"

She skips over and grabs my hand.

We walk to the car and get in, "Okay, baby. Tonight, grandma is going to stay with you for a few hours. I'll tuck you in, but mommy is going to go out for a few hours with Auntie Lauren."

She shakes her head, "No, mommy! What if something happens!"

I sigh, "Nothing will happen. I'll see you in the morning. You'll be safe with grandma. Maybe she will even give you ice cream before sleep."

Her eyes well up and she nods, "Promise you'll come home?"

"Promise."

Alex POV

"Okay, let's get a drink!" Taylor yells.

We walk to the bar and I lean on it.

"Hey. What's your name?"

I turn and see a gorgeous blonde staring at me.

I smile, "Hi, I'm Alex."

"Elise."

"Nice to meet you." I say.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

I nod and am about to speak when someone bumps into me.

"I am so sorry. Jesus, I should really watch where I am-"

"Mack?" I ask.

She looks up at me, "Uh- Alex? Hi! What are- what are you doing here?"

I chuckle, "Same thing as you."

She stares at me and shakes her head, "Can I buy you a drink?"

I smile widely and nod.

"But-" Elise starts.

I turn to her, "I'm so sorry, but i know this one. Thanks for offering though."

She scoffs and walks off.

"Did I interrupt something?" Mack asks.

I shake my head, "No."

"Mack! The hell? You just wander off and now you're with some hot chick!"

My eyes widen.

"Holy. Are you her wife? I am so sorry, but I promise this is not what it looks like."

Her eyes widen, "Am I her- oh no. Just best friend."

Mack sighs and I notice her demeanor change.

"Lauren, what's your name?" The woman asks.

"I'm Alex. Our kids met at the park the other day." I say.

She smiles, "Oh, nice."

Mack is lost in thought and her friend nudges her.

She looks up, "Riley met her daughter at the park."

"We established that, idiot. You know what? I'm going to go find our crew. You'll catch up?"

Mack nods.

Lauren walks away, "So, you promised me a drink."

She smiles, "I did. Let's go out on the patio though."

We grab drinks and walk outside, which is way quieter.

We sit and I stare at her.

'She's so damn cute."

I shake my head.

"So, where's your wife?" I ask.

She looks down at her hand and sighs.

"I know you see these rings and that's why you ask."

I look at her confusedly.

She lets out another breath, "Alex, my wife died six months ago."

'What?'

[marthawrites]

Hi my name is Martha and I'm a big ol' sap!

It's been a hot minute since I've made a post like this - OG followers might remember when I used to make 'em much more often haha!

Anyway, hi!

House of the flippin Dragon season TWO officially starts TOMORROW!? WHAT??! ARE YOU JOKING? It's been FOREVER and now that it's here I'm having a hard time it's actually happening! AHHHH!!!

During my time in this fandom I've wrote 41 fics. That is soooo insane to me! HotD as a whole (I wasn't involved in the GoT fandom but I was and forever will be in love with it), and Aemond, gave me my spark of creativity back. Before coming here, I hadn't wrote anything in probably 5-6 years. I've always loved writing and then I just... stopped. Idk. It's more complex than that but it gets pretty personal and I don't really feel like talking about it. But, yeah. Writing was something I didn't really plan on doing anymore. Then... boom! After S1 was over it hit me so hard and I couldn't NOT do it! I dove in head first and I remember after posting my first ever fic on here, that I was shaking SO bad from nerves, anxiety, excitement, being scared, all of it - WHOA.

I realize 41 fics might not sound like a lot to some people, but for me it is. It's a lot. It's countless hours not only physically writing/typing, but also simping, brainstorming, brainrotting, talking to fellow fandom freaks, rambling in discord, yelling about this and that, reading sooosososo many other people's fic, hyping them up, cheering for people, rooting for people, and SO much more! I love fandom. I really do. It's truly a community and since the end of S1 I've genuinely enjoyed my time here with all of you!!

I'm blown away at the kindness I've found here. The support. The sense of community. All of it! I have friends in my phone from ALL over the world and it's sososo wild to me!

Thanks to everyone who's ever been nice to me (LOL) and read/supported my stuff. As someone who came from niche OC writing to this? I am forever blown away at the community and support here within this fandom. I've made friends and created friendships I never even imagined I would when I came here!

ILY and I cannot wait to experience S2 with you all, and to see what a new season will provide for further fanfiction, fanart, and fandom craziness!

Thanks for making my fandom experience fun, silly, insane, and overall fucking awesome. Seriously.

LOVE YOU!!! ♥♥♥

Here's to more fic (maybe another 41?!?), more simping, and more (affectionate) insanity!

MWAH MWAH MWAH!

ps: I'm going to do my very best to make my blog a spoiler free space with proper tagging and mindful posting!

[silver--scar]

I left Tumblr to make pride art only to come back realising I'm not actually straight after 18+ years

Uhm... Happy Pride Month to me too I guess?

I might delete this post who knows lol I don't like talking a lot about myself

I'm still not too sure about it, but me and my friend had a lot of talk over it

Tldr: me and my friend discovered that I might be androsexual if you wanna skip this poorly written yapathon

I've always felt an attraction towards guys, and I've always declined the thought of dating women because I'm just not interested.

But looking deeper into it, I don't think I like anyone that's fem aligned or identify as a girl.

And then I felt confused haha

Because earlier yesterday, I was scrolling through Twitter and saw an image of a butch lesbian. And for the first time, I didn't just think, "Woah, they look nice!" I thought, "Whoa, they look so handsome •///•"

Because they were a woman, and I don't like women. I always just go, "Aw, they're pretty!" Or "Hey, they're a pretty cool person!" And also, I've always avoided questioning myself, tiptoeing around the subject because what if I'm wrong? What if I'm pretending to be what I'm not? What if people assume I'm faking it just to be included in a community?

But this girl looked masculine and my heart did a whole bunch of flipflops and stuff as cringe as that may sound.

So I went to my friend to talk about this, because I felt like a dick being attracted to people who appear masc (even though I wouldn't necessarily care what someone would look like, so long as they were nice and friendly would I consider a relationship), but they assured me that there are people who like men and non-women (basically anyone who doesn't identify as a girl) and vice versa. And when I thought it over, I realized that I don't mind dating nonbinary people either, masc aligned or androgynous. It's just the femininity I'm not really into.

This answered a few questions for me, like why I was always more drawn to playing as males in games even though I'm perfectly happy with being a girl, or why I had these sorts of feelings. But I was still iffy, because it was worded like... A kink almost? And I know this is definitely not the case, because I rarely feel sexual attraction towards strangers or people I barely know.

While I know it's okay to not necessarily worry about labels and stuff, I wanted to find out exactly what was going on with me. So I just started googling and came across androsexuality. "People who feel attraction towards men or perceived masculinity, irrespective of whether or not the person is assigned male at birth." Or "Someone who is primarily attracted to masculinity, be this sexually, romantically, or aesthetically."

Not to mention that after looking into it more, it has slightly different definitions. Some people use it when they're attracted only to cis and trans men, some use it to express attraction to masculine people regardless of gender, but there are also people saying it's open to all genders while others say it's only open to nonbinary genders?? So of course I'd feel iffy using this identity if it's known for trying to put nonbinary people into gendered boxes.

But I had a lot of discussions over it. I learned many sexualities and what could possibly fit what I described to other people, and soon, I've come to realize that I'm not straight, but androsexual. All my life and into adulthood, I thought I was so sure, but I guess people learn about themselves a whole lot later than others.

All because a handsome lady made me head over heels lol /lh

[goshdangronpa]

For the i send ya a character and You do something

Hiyoko Saionji from the hitgame dangansopa.

also Ibuki h hehehe

Let's do one at a time ^^" Starting with your fave, Hiyoko!

Yeesh, I've gotta start putting readmores on these

Sexuality Headcanon: Not sure if there's a label for this (.......demi?), but Hiyoko seems like the type who latches onto a single person at a time, if at all. She won't consciously look for a girl or guy, may not even say someone's attractive if randomly asked, but when someone's got it, she's hooked.

Gender Headcanon: I believe that some people are only passively cisgender, meaning they've never actually ruminated on their identity and considered that they might be something else, and that trans people would be less rare (if still in a very small minority) if more people did. My hc is that Hiyoko's passively cis in SDR2, and that if she grows up, gets more exposure to the idea, and opens her mind enough to question herself, she might enjoy life as a more androgynous person ... Whoa, I just projected myself onto Hiyoko.

A ship I have with said character: I know you love hiyobuki, zombyne, and I'll never take that away from you. That said, I'm basic, so I'll go with mahiyoko for this post. What does Hiyoko like about Mahiru? She's a cute redhead who takes no crap when people fail to meet her high standards, a sweet girl who'll willingly shower with a near-total stranger in a killing game, a true friend who even helps her with her own clothes. What does Mahiru like about Hiyoko (arguably the real question)? I enjoy the notion that Mahiru's more amused by Hiyoko's antics than she lets on. Don't forget, she also has a low opinion of Mikan - not as much as Hiyoko, but not enough to defend her from what are obviously unserious insults. When you're always the serious one, it's nice to let your hair down around someone. I also like the idea that Mahiru loses her goddamn lesbian mind when Hiyoko comes back from summer break taller than her.

A BROTP I have with said character: And this is where I'll talk about Ibuki! Forget the Twilight Syndrome stuff (the writers of SDR2 sure did!). Just look at their interactions! When Hiyoko basically tries Ibuki's whole life in the first trial, Ibuki shouts in amusement something like "You've pierced me with your arrow of truth!" She either knows this girl isn't serious, or she doesn't care if she is. Then the only person in the whole goddamn group who likes Ibuki's music is the most annoying bully in the bunch. That's a terrific joke that works perfectly for Hiyoko as a character. Of course the Ultimate Traditional Dancer, who likely grew up sheltered in one of those homes where modern pop is forbidden and Harry Potter is considered Satanist, would have her mind blown by Ibuki's metal freakouts. Hiyobuki as a ship is great, but even just being besties is awesome for them ... though I think they could also enable each other in just being so mean to people lol

A NOTP I have with said character: I don't have many NOTPs in general ... but I can safely rule out Teruteru after that scene in DR3. Yiiikes.

A random headcanon: Hiyoko was perfectly capable of tying her obi on her own. C'mon, she's not that childish. Occam's Razor would dictate that things went exactly as stated in the game's dialogue ... but what if Hiyoko just neglected showering altogether because she's depressed? You know, cuz she's in a goddamn killing game with a dozen-odd total strangers? Then the one person she likes and kinda trusts offers to join her in the shower and suddenly this obi thing goes from an excuse to an opportunity. When Mahiru dies, though, Hiyoko's shattered, and that comes out in her newfound inability to properly dress herself. This manifestation of her grief gets so bad that it ultimately kills her. What a tragedy: opening up to another person leaves her totally helpless against the person she dismissed as the weakest in the group. There's a fanfic in this ...

General Opinion over said character: No one needs to like Hiyoko for whatever reason. That said, the most common reason I've observed in the haters is that they wouldn't want to be friends with her in real life. In my opinion, that's an extremely boring way of looking at fictional characters - it's not like they'll ever like us back, right? Might as well enjoy Hiyoko for playing a highly important role in the SDR2 ecosystem: the mixer! It's boring if everyone's all nice and stuff. Besides, Hiyoko's no simple bully, nor is she a lost cause. Like any Danganronpa character, the girl has her own hidden depths that make her more compelling than the haters might expect. I'd elaborate ... but anyone interested should reach out to zombyne, or the many other cool people I've met who enjoy Hiyoko as a character.

[the-fiction-witch]

Blood Pumping P2

Media Nowhere Boy

Character Paul

Couple Paul X Reader

Rating Flirty AF

Requested

I didn't know which was worse my fear or my excitement, it was like having two over excited puppies in my mind jumping over each other attempting to be seen. The door opened and immediately I gulped her shoes gone, her little white socks pulled high, her skirt tugged up high, her button down shirt unbuttoned enough to reveal the start of her cream bra, her tie long gone, her hair let loose from the usual braids and ponytails allowed to hang naturally with only her alice band to push it back.

"Oh hi Paul"

For a moment no words arrived at my mouth honestly I was doing my best not to loose my balance as I felt like I could have fainted as my heart was beating out my chest, my blood pumping around me every drop of blood flooding to my stiff erection ".........uhhhh hi y/n" I blushed

"Don't you look handsome"

"Uuuuuuuughhhhhhhh thank you, you uhhhh you umm" I stuttered "You look beautiful"

"You're cute. Come on we can sit up in my room" she smiled grabbing my hand and dragging me inside with her 

She lead me into her bedroom which was actually in the loft having to climb a steep stairwell to get up there but it wa sa very large room with anything a teenage girl could want a huge double bed, desk, a huge record collection that rivaled my own and John's out together next to a pretty high end player, and her own one suite. Everything in it was impressive and clearly expensive many of the perfume, make up and such I recognized from magazines and such I didn't know what her family did but clearly they had money.

"Whoa this uhh this is nice" I told her as she jumped on her bed hugging a stuffed bear I had to avert my eyes given I now stood over her bed and could pretty much see up her skirt and honestly seeing her in this half undone school uniform in her bed hugging her teddy bear was… unlocking things in my mind it really shouldn't have been, uuummmm believe me babydoll I wanna jump in that bed with you 

"Thanks, took a lot of work" she says 

"I can imagine, so uhh algebra?" I asked putting my stuff down trying not to look at her 

"Ehh do we have to? I've just done so much work at school" she whined rolling on her bed a little

"Well we uhh we can chill out for a little better it that would help?" I suggested

"Awww your so sweet" she smiled getting up and stroking across my shoulders as she past me "none of my other tutors let us do that" she smiled giving my cheek a kiss 

"Well I uhh I uh I'm not like other tutors" 

"I can see that" she smiled flicking through her records finally picking one and adding it to the player setting some music on and I recognized the song 

"Hu… you uhh you like this?"

"Ummm very much"

"I uhh I do too, I don't have it myself but John plays it alot. How'd you get it? I thought it hadn't been released over here yet?"

"I have my ways" she smiled 

"Do uhh you mind me asking what your parents do?"

"My mum works in the seamstress shop in town turning hems and such" she explained moving around her room doing various things "you can sit on the bed Paul it's okay" she smiled 

So I did take a seat there even if I had to force some darker thoughts away "and your dad?"

"He runs the record shop on East gate"

"Really! That explains the collection I'm guessing"

"He likes to give me promos to listen too, he says he uses me for customer resource"

"How do?"

"He gives me all the promos the shop gets and I tell him what to order and what not to order track the trends he says" 

"I uhh I go there all the time" 

"Umm he tells me"

"He does?"

"He likes to keep me posted on…cute boys who sniff around the right musical sections" she Cooes 

"That uhh that's how you knew my name?"

"No, I found that out after a nice evening in the dance hall." She explained 

"The dancehall? So you uhh you uhhh"

"Yes Paul I've seen you play" she giggled coming and sitting in the bed with me "you boys are really good, but your my favorite"

"Thanks, that's really sweet of you. I'll have to get you backstage some day"

"That would be nice, so long as you promise to keep me safe"

"Of course I would,"

"You'll have to let me know the first time you boys record some stuff I'll have to had it to my collection, I'd pay of course"

"Absolutely, but I couldn't charge you y/n"

"That's sweet Paul, but really it's no trouble I'd love to not fair to get stuff for free" she says and a wicked smile went across her face she stroked across my hand and I glanced down nervously but excited and when I glanced back up to her she captured my lips in an intense hot kiss I happily kissed back feeling my blood pumping around my body in excitement as we kissed till she pulled away and kissed my nose "that can be a little deposit" 

"Uuuuuuuhhh yeah uhh okay" I nodded trying desperately to think straight

"That okay or do you need some more?" She asks wrapping her arms around my shoulders

"Uhh more. Yeah more.. please"

"Your so cute, it's fine Paul you can kiss and cuddle as much as you like even a little more of you… did my algebra for me?"

"Deal!" I told her happily pulling her back for another kiss 

[mojaves]

tagged by @bnbc @katsigian and @silverpixelcloud to do this THANK YOU!! <3 i love not shutting up

rules:

👻 post 5 facts about your oc

👻 go into the recent section of the #cyberpunk 2077 tag and rb some posts. and be nice. [i will do that when i am not afraid of people. dont worry about it. hold me at gun point if you must]

👻 tag people to keep the game going

who else would i talk about other than this fruit of a man.

1. he grew up as part of the valentinos, with his father taking him out on jobs at a very early age, which wasn't a very good idea - but he was the eldest child, and his father figured that getting him involved in gang business early would've been for the best. seb hated it, but was also thankful for it in a way, because it at least meant he could keep his younger siblings safe from as much harm as possible

2. he 'left' [see: got kicked out of] his family at 19, when he decided he didn't want to live the gang life forever, and wanted to work for a corp in order to get more money for his family. they [1000% just his father actually] shunned him pretty much immediately, and he was left to live alone on the streets for 2 years. he handled himself pretty well, using the skills he learned over the years to con people out of money and get by relatively unscathed.

3. i could go into sooo much more detail with all of that but then we'd all be here forever so basically; steals money from someone at arasaka, she is like whoa lol, gets him working at arasaka as an assistant, eventually becomes something of a bodyguard/intimidation device for people who worked there. they get married [not good], and then she cheats on him [with their boss [also not good]]

4. he understandably got angry bc of that, and when he threatened to quit, his boss beat the shit out of him and left him for dead in an alleyway, which is where his cyberjaw/neck cyberware comes from. the attack also left him with a prosthetic leg. if he was just some guy who left, none of that would've happened. but unfortunately he was a very important asset bc they were experimenting on him - drugs and other fun things that greatly improved his combat skills, and made him more useful. and if any of that info got out, everyone involved would've been greatly fucked over basically. and because they'd kind of fucked up by making him highly dangerous, the only option was to kill him. but that didn't go very well and now here we are 👍 i said i wasnt going to ramble but. anyway

5. and then from all of that, he slowly got back on his feet and became the leader of a small gang who mostly deals with fucking over corpos for people whos lives have been ruined by them - sometimes also helping corpos get revenge on each other, mostly bc it's always petty drama, it's funny, And they get a lot of money out of it. they also do security stuff on the side. because of their reputation amongst corpos, seb is often the target of assassination attempts, and always gets out of it unscathed. but he is currently being hunted down by a VERY stubborn merc who is the first guy in many years who has ever come close to killing him, so life is finally getting exciting for him again (^:< ehehehe

BONUS FACT HE HAS A CAT CALLED FRANKIE STROMBOLI

i. do not know when to shut up sorry <3 i need everyone to know everything about him. i do not know how to be concise. <3 not my problem now

ANYWAY i will tag uuhhhhhhhh. who has cyberpunk ocs. @aartyom @nuclearstorms get over here right now and yell about your guys. it said 5 people but i dont know 5 people. anyone who follows me and has cyberpunk ocs feel free to join in teehee. hii

[universeofmuses]

//so starting on my whole wanting to add my fan fictions that I posted before I started on tumblr, I thought I’d start with my first and arguably my most popular fan fiction. I started posting this about 12-13 years ago lol, long long time lol. But this was the first fan fiction I ever wrote and actually posted out for people to see and still get such praise for it today, I hope you all like it. I hope to make this a weekly thing that I post something I previously wrote and work on and adding more chapters/remastering what I had already put out there. Please let me know what you think.

Paradox: A Rangers Through Time Story

A/N: I do not own the characters, concepts, and so on, this is my first try so please play nice kids. Enjoy.

Summary: AU set around the time Kira helps Tommy go through his old stuff, but what happens when Mesogog's latest plan to destroy the rangers does not go quite according to plan? AU part is that Tommy is not stuck in ranger form and Trent is not the evil white ranger. Kim x Tommy, Kira x Conner

It was any typical Saturday morning in Reefside as Kira Ford and Dr. O were busy down in his basement/ranger command center, going through boxes of Dr. O's old stuff. Everything from old high school notes to old red shirts and other odds and end of his life.

Dr. O turned to Kira "Hey Kira, thanks again for helping go though all my old stuff and helping get organized." Dr. O said,

"No, problem." Came Kira's reply,

Looking though an old green binder of Dr. O's she noticed that it was some of his old high school science notes.

"Hey Dr. O, where do you want this to go?" she asked as she handed him the binder, he flipped though a few pages and remembered what was in the binder.

"You can trash it, its just old notes from high school I don't need them anymore." He said while handing her back the binder.

"Wow, why do you still old high school science notes?" Kira asked,

"I though I might need them, I'm a pack rat like that." He defended,

As Kira finished with the box she was working on and was going to pick up a large shoebox, when she lifted it up the contents fell out as the box was upside down.

"Oh, sorry Dr. O. I didn't know the box was upside down" Kira apologized,

"Its ok, just be careful ok some of these things are breakable." Dr. O replied over his shoulder.

What fell out were old pictures of a young man with long hair tied back into a pony tail hugging a short young woman with shoulder length auburn hair, old movie tickets, and finally a letter addressed to 'Tommy Oliver' with a return address in Florida. As she started reading though the letter her mouth dropped open and she broke into a blush when she realized, it was a break up letter.

"Hey, . . . Dr. O?" Kira asked uncertainly,

"Yeah Kira?" came his reply as he turned around,

He noticed the look on her face and then noticed what fell moments ago.

"Whoa, Dr. O I am so sorry, I mean-" Kira said

"Its ok it was along time ago I already forgot about it" Dr. O said cutting her off, he smiled as he had finished trying and reassure her, but true be told to this day he still hurts as much as he did the day he received that accursed letter.

"Hello? . . . Dr. O?. . . anyone home?" Kira asked as she waved her hand in front of Dr. O's dazed face

"Huh? What's up Kira?" Dr. O responded snapping out of his daydream,

"Who is she?" asked Kira,

"Her name is Kimberly Ann Hart, and she was the first pink ranger and my first girlfriend." Dr. O explained.

"Oh yeah, I remember her from the video" Kira replied with a little chipper tone,

"Yeah, originally my first draft of the video had nothing but her in it, and then the other ranger teams told me to get over it, that the video is about them not her." Dr. O replied turning a slight shade of red when Kira let out a light giggle.

"Hey we were THE first ranger couple." Dr. O defended

"Ok, dropping it." She replied while playfully throwing up her hands with a smile on her face,

"So what do you want me to do with the rest of this stuff?" Kira asked as she started to pick up the contents of the box,

"umm. . .better yet let me take care of this." Dr. O said as he slowly stated to pick up the scattered mementos of his old flame.

"Dr. O, I know you said your personal life is off limits but, but if you don't mind me asking; what happened to you two that made you guys break up, I mean you two look so happy in the photos." Asked Kira,

"It's a long story." Dr. O said as he let out a sigh of discomfort,

"I've got time." Kira replied.

"Ok, like I said me and her where apart of the first ranger team. And like you saw in the photos we where very happy together, in fights we could always find each other and complement each other's style; the others on the team would say that there was no better tag team than me and her. Anyway she was into gymnastics got invited by some big gymnastics coach to help her train for the pan global games, but she had to move to Florida where his gym was. So after some coaxing from the team and I she decided to accept his offer and she passed her power coin to Katherine Hillard who was her successor to the pink mighty morphin ranger powers. Of course we tried the long distance relationship thing for a while, we would go see each other when we could and mail each other letters and stuff, but as always the long distance thing doesn't work out too well. So after about a few months I get that letter ending the power ranger couple." he finished explaining to his student and teammate.

"Oh, how sad, I'm sorry Dr. O." Kira said as she walked over to him and gave him a comforting hug.

"Its alright, like I said its ancient history." he said

"Kinda like you and your lectures?" Kira asked trying to lighten the mood

"Ha ha very funny, just for that I'm giving a pop quiz on Monday." Dr. O replied with a smile on his face.

"Oh come on Dr. O, I was just kidding." Kira replied with a bit of a whiney pout,

"Oh well, should have thought about that before you decided to make fun of me." He said with a bit of a laugh in his voice.

"Lets just finish this last stack and we'll call it a day, what do you say?" he asked

"Yeah, sure sounds great, I could use the extra time to study for the new pop quiz on Monday." she replied.

In reality Dr. O had no intention of giving a pop quiz on Monday, he just wanted to get back a Kira for the ancient history joke.

(One Hour Later)

"Wow Dr. O, you sure know how to pack it in don't you?" Kira said as she was stretching out her back,

"What can I say? Its who I am" Dr. O replied, "Thanks again for your help Kira." He said as he turned toward Kira,

"Anytime Dr. O" she replied,

"So I'll see you later at my gig tonight?" Kira asked,

"Wouldn't miss it for the world Kira." Dr. O said leading her out of the base.

(The Mysterious Island Lair)

"The never-ending failures from you two is getting . . . old." Mesogog hissed at his henchmen who hung their head in disgrace,

"We are sorry my lord but-" Zeltrax started,

"Sorry doesn't bring back the white dino gem, sorry doesn't defeat the rangers now does it?" Mesogog said as he cut off what would have been a pitiful excuse for failing to execute the will of his master.

"My lord, I know that we've had some . . .misfortunes when I comes to dino gems and rangers, but I think I have a plan to get rid of the rangers once and for all." Elsa said in a hopeful tone.

"Really now, do explain." Mesogog replied with peak interest in his henchman's idea.

"Well here's what we do." Elsa began.

A/N: Hope you guys like the first chapter. Please review so I can get some input from you guys, and any ideas about the story would be greatly welcomed. Thank You.

[matcheadz]

THIS IS NOT A TUTORIAL

So I like to draw. That much is clear. In fact, I went to school for it! For an exorbadent amount of money, actually. Well, not drawing. Animation specifically but thats not the point.

I like to draw, but for a long time I felt like I couldn't because my 'process' was rather ridiculous. Or at least, I felt like it. I still sort of feel like it. I want to remind people here that your process doesn't have to look clean or pretty or whatever, because nobody (unless you go to an art college in that case just get in the habit of saving custom layouts for projects, trust me) is going to see it.

I call my sketchbook my 'shitbook' because its full of stuff that will never see the light of day. Blind contour drawings. Random mixtures of shapes. Observational drawings with little notes to myself. Don't worry about those 'aesthetic journals.' Fuck 'em, I say. Life is messy as shit, let your sketchbook show that.

So today I wanna show you the absolute mess that is my process. I like to take screenshots during a painting or sketch that I feel is pivotal in my learning process so I can see if I took the right direction or not. As a result, I have a ton of these .pngs lying around. Lets look at one:

What the fuck is that? EW! THATS UGLY! Hold on, what about this one:

Hmm, well what about this- wait what the fuck is this

These are all thumbnails/sketches from IT projects I did maybe two or three yearrs ago. These never saw the light of day, save for maybe a joke post or to a partner involved in a project. These were for me to look at, to carve out. These don't have good anatomy. They're not the final composition. Sometimes they're in a completely different style. Point is,

These are my versions of thumbnails. It's how I plan my shots, my layout, my composition, my expressions. Is some of it pretty? Maybe? Is most of it absolutely vile? YES. And I love it that way. The dirtier the better, as I like to think. Its a thought process. I want my thumbnails to look like I'm thinking so I can combine those thoughts. For example, I'll show you the last Vergil painting I just did and all the steps I did with that. Look at this ugly little motherfucker:

This is a strange sketch considering the final product. What I did here was look at the 'jinx pose' from Arcane and be like "hmm. Vergil?" and tried to use the perspective and anatomy. it did NOT work out in this sketch because as you'll see in a second, the rough colors did not work for me. But in this specifically, I focused on the musculatory anatomy of his shoulders, because I knew that was going to be something super defined and important to understand with how odd his vest is. So here are my flats. Sorta:

So at this point I'm clearly focused on the face and my file is still named Vergil Thirst Trap Lol and something clearly isnt working with my perspective. His head and arms are huge, and Vergil might have a grabable waist for some of you but this isn't it. So At this point I'm done with my first sit down and I step away. I come back the next day (during work hehehe) and I get to this at the end.

Alright! Color is looking a little better. Arms are more sculpted and while I'm aligning myself to my sketch more than anything, I'm also very closely looking at my pose reference, thinking about anatomy and my color palette. I step away (I clock out) and I take a minute to look at it. Its... looking better? But theres something off still about that perspective. At this point I'm a little frustrated with this vest and its weird rules. So I bare my teeth and gnash at it:

WHOA WHY THE FUCK HE LOOK SO WEIRD HERE?? Cause I flipped the canvas after painting and didn't realize how odd it looked oops. We'll do some fixing but that face looks nice for now and I think im better understanding the contrast I need through some actual photo editing. So let me tell you the story of Vergil's hair. Its a sad one. It will enrage you. This man had four different itterations. Most of which I can't show you because I painted over them so many times. But heres a screencap of the one I thought was gonna work.

Its NICE. I liked it alot. But the I realized this was not the way things were heading. Hair too swaggy. IMO anyway. I was slowly editing the name from Vergil Thirst Trap lol to Vergil to Vergil has mommy issues. and this hair? It matches the lightning well, but this was more Vergil Fucks. so what was the end result of the body?

more or less this (Those buttons didnt look like that I just realized this screenshot is fucked but you get the idea.) I did some composition editing, some contrast play and more effects, but this was pretty much done. So, like, shit gets messy. Thats not even counting the layer of overlapping reference photos I used because I don't use art boards like a normal person. shit gets messy! Let it get messy. Just clean up when you're done and hopefully you get something you're proud of >:)

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Smile (Mattress)

Sung by: Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson Original Artist(s): Lily Allen

Like how Hairography had a theme (distracted!!) Mattress also has one as well -- 'smile'. I think this episode, however, does a better job of integrating the theme into the story and not hitting you over the head with it. The thing about the whole 'smile' theme, though, is that it's the idea of smiling as a façade over the darker emotions going on.

The thing about this song, though, it's also a façade; albeit possibly unintentionally? On the outside, it's a nice, flirty Finchel duet. But have you guys ever actually listened to the lyrics? It's about reveling in your ex's misery. I'm totally going to try to make the case that this song really should have been a Quinn song...

Story Analysis

So - the whole point of this scene was Rachel trying to teach Finn how to smile better for the yearbook photo. And... you know what? It's kind of a cute scene on its own. Rachel is, somewhat, uncharacteristically happy during it (it feels very Lea-ish, or at least post-Season 4 Rachel) and yes that's part of the schtick, but I think the genuine flirtatiousness of the song kinda makes Finchel sweet. Finn is adorable in his awkwardness, and then he kind of loosens up and goes along with Rachel. It's honestly, kind of sweet, and I feel like showcases their actual chemistry for once. (As I'm of the mind that Finchel is going to feel so forced in the future.)

But the thing about the song is that it's sooooo not about just general happiness and flirtatiousness. This song is about being happy that your ex is a groveling, dribbling mess and really not giving a shit. And -- I just can't make it work for Finchel.

I suppose you can argue that Rachel can be overdramatic - and want to think herself being better than petty relationship drama. But even as Rachel will go on to do some truly batshit crazy things (does it get any worse than Sunshine and the crackhouse?) she doesn't really pull this stuff with Finn. Nor, I'd argue, would she actually be happy to see him sad or upset.

The reason this song is misleading, really, is the fact that the song makes such an emphasis on the word 'smile'. So as Finn and Rachel are dancing around singing about smiling -- you kind of get wrapped up in the fun beat and the cheery melody and the word smile, and can easily miss the fact that this song is really vindictive.

As I was going over this one in preparation, though, it occurred to me that this would be a perfect song for Quinn.

When you first left me I was wanting more You were kissing that girl next door What you do that for? (What you do that for?)

Quinn being pissed off that she was dumped for Rachel -- um, yes, she was upset about that on multiple occasions.

I never been on my (own that way) Just sat by my(self all day)

Who defines herself by the relationships she has with men? Why that's Quinn.

(Oh!) I was so lost back then (Oh!) But with a little help from my friends (Oh!) I found a light in the tunnel at the end (Oh!) (Oh!) Now you're calling me up on the phone (Oh!) So you can have a little whine and a moan (Oh!) And it's only because you're feeling alone (Oh!)

The first time I really listened to the lyrics I was like - whoa, those some dirty lyrics. But, again, Quinn would think this way -- I can totally see her talking like this.

At worst, (I feel bad for awhile) (But then I just smile, I go ahead and smile)

This is the real deal sealer for me, though. Because Quinn is all about the façade - and all about trying to present as this perfect, in control person. She will just smile and cover up any emotions she has to save face. She'd also does not really care about your pain. She's too busy dealing with her own to have pity or sympathy for someone who has screwed her over.

Plus - I feel like this song should be sung with a real sense of sarcasm and edge to give it that ironic sound. This song plays it straight, but I think a Quinn version would have added those darker qualities.

Really -- they should have had Quinn scowling in the background of this number and it would have felt perfect.

Technical Thoughts

First thing to get out of the way is, yes, I know they changed the lyrics. The original lyrics say *fucking* the girl next door instead of kissing. It's a network tv show about high school students, so I'm not surprised - but also, that would have taken you completely out of the Finchel love fest they were going for.

So. Here's my thing - Rachel sounds fine on it. But the song itself was put through some kind of filter. Was it autotune? Was it some other kind of electronic something? I have no idea what exactly -- but the sound feels /off/ -- too mechanical and produced. And this is one of the few times on the show that I can feel that they're lip synching. Especially at the beginning. Glee usually does better at integrating pre-recorded song with the performance, but this isn't one of their better attempts. Ah well.

Meanwhile, Finn sounds alright. At times, it's a little too high - and it feels forced. But, in general, Cory Monteith sounds better overall than he has in previous numbers - and when he and Lea are singing together, I have no complaints. It's a catchy little tune, and the scene is very sweet.

vs. The Studio Version: There's a little more of an introduction and they include the second verse, but that's pretty much it. It's a solid song though.

vs. The Original Version: So. Glee's arrangement is more or less the same as the original song. Lily Allen's voice is a bit grittier and a little less produced (sorry Lea - you're still good on the Glee track.)

The thing though, wow, this video. It really showcases the duality of song -- being a happy, bubbly sound song, but the singer is out for blood and shows no mercy. There's a lot more going on than the music would outwardly suggest. (Secret Quinn Solo)

[jlalafics]

"Photograph"-a Royal!Everlark story

This was inspired by this prompt from @writing-prompt-s:

When you were seven, you held a fake wedding by the swings with a kid you met at the park. You never saw your childhood “spouse” again after that day. Today you received a letter summoning you to a foreign country… where your wedding to the heir to the throne twenty years ago is seen as valid.

This is totally unedited. Thank you to @sparklingdust4612 for bringing this prompt to my attention. Looking forward to everyone else's interpretations along with this one and the story by @jhsgf82!

I actually have more of this but I thought I'd show y'all a little bit of my interpretation of the above prompt.

****

We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

And time's forever frozen, still…

-Ed Sheeran

Photograph

Katniss Everdeen loved building castles.

In the massive sandbox, she packed another bunch of sand into her bucket before placing it upside down to set. While waiting, Katniss imagined how she would decorate the inside of her palace, a delighted smile growing on her face as she thought of the possibilities.

First, the walls would all be yellow. Not the ugly yellow that looked like snot—but yellow like Prim’s, her baby sister, golden locks.

Yellow meant hope: that’s what Daddy always said.

Knocking on the sides of the bucket to loosen the sand like Mommy showed her, Katniss slowly lifted it revealing a perfect tower for her castle.

“Yes!” she hollered, jumping up in excitement.

Her eyes went to Mommy who was sitting on the bench across the way. She was talking to a pretty, yellow-haired woman with a big tummy. Prim was asleep in her stroller, her binky hanging from her mouth.

“Mommy!” Katniss rushed over, stopping just a scant from toppling over on the concrete. “Look! I’ve made the perfect tower!”

Her mother smiled proudly.

“That’s wonderful, Katniss.” She turned to the woman next to her. “My Katniss is always building and dreaming on how to make her perfect home. Her teachers tell me that she has such a creative mind for a seven-year-old.”

“How absolutely charming,” the woman responded kindly, a smile on her pink lips.

Katniss tilted her head at the sound of her voice. There was something different about the way the lady talked—the dips of it sounded strange—but still nice.

“Why do you sound like that?” she asked bluntly.

Her Mommy frowned. “Katniss Everdeen! Please apologize!” She looked to the woman once more. “I’m so sorry—”

“That’s perfectly alright,” the lady assured her. The pretty woman turned to Katniss. “I have a little bit of an accent because of where I’m from, that’s why my voice sounds different.”

Katniss nodded. “Okay, but it does sound nice…like a song!” She smiled. “What’s your name?”

The woman glowed like an angel. “My name is Marguerite.”

“Hello Miss Marguerite.” Katniss looked to where her sandcastle waited. “I better go before someone takes my stuff! Bye!”

Throwing a wave at the woman, she plopped back down onto her space in the sandbox ready to add some detailing to her newest tower—

The foot crushing her tower landed straight in the middle of it creating a space between each side.

Katniss fumed and her eyes went up to the blond-haired boy with the snooty face.

She stood, her hand slamming into his chest. “Hey! You destroyed my castle!”

The boy stared at her in shock. “No one ever touches me!”

“Until now—”

Katniss was suddenly blocked by another boy, tall and dark-skinned.

“No one touches his royal highness,” he declared, and the blond boy stuck his tongue at her.

Another boy, this one dark-haired and sharp-eyed, approached.

“Prince Peeta has decided that you will be his bride,” he stated with a scowl.

Katniss made a face, crossing her arms to show them how disgusting that sounded. “Gross.”

The so-called Prince Peeta walked over to her.

“As my bride, you can make as many sandcastles as you want,” he explained. “I’ll build a bigger sandbox than this for you!”

Something inside zinged at the thought. “Really?”

The boy shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

Katniss eyed him suspiciously. “Why would you want to marry me anyway?”

Peeta shifted in his stance, the confidence in his blue eyes suddenly wavering. “I like your eyes.”

“My eyes?”

A rise of pink colored his cheeks. “They’re soft…and pretty.”

That had been it for her.

On that warm afternoon, by the swings of District 12’s only playground, Katniss Everdeen married the so-called Prince Peeta.

“You may now kiss the bride,” Gale, the dark-haired boy, said. He looked at Peeta, a teasing smile on his face. “Go on—kiss her!”

“Close your eyes,” Peeta told her.

Katniss, wearing her paper towel veil courtesy of the park’s public bathroom, did what he said and closed her eyes.

SPLAT!

She barely registered being shoved down into the muddy puddle.

Katniss looked up at the sneering boy, feeling the rise of anger in her body.

“That’s what you get for pushing me.”

++++++

Twenty years later…

“Katniss.” She looked up from laptop to find Prim at her open doorway. Her sister held out a Fed-Ex envelope. “This just came for you.”

Without even glancing at it, Katniss tossed the envelope on her bed, going back to the open page on her screen.

“Don’t you want to open it?” Prim stepped into the room and plopped onto the bed, picking the post up to examine it. “It looks important.”

“Probably one of those things saying that I’m eligible for another credit card.” Katniss frowned, sitting back, and staring at the blinking cursor. “I’m so stuck on this blog post!”

“Is this the one about kitchen flowers?” her sister asked, and she nodded. “You got some great pictures from Madge’s shop.”

“I know but my writing inspiration is zilch,” Katniss explained. “I need to get this done if I want to post by Mother’s Day.”

“Speaking of Mother’s Day, mom is wondering if you’re bringing anyone to Sunday dinner,” Prim informed her.

“I love our mother but lately every conversation we’ve had is either about my lack of a dating life or my withering eggs,” Katniss said. “Right now, I need to focus on getting more attention on the blog. It’s just gaining momentum!” She rested back and turned to her sister. “This is important to me.”

“I know,” Prim replied. “And you are good at it. I mean, look at what you’ve done to our apartment! To this room!”

Her sister’s bright blue eyes looked around the buttercream room, beautifully decorated with white-washed furniture. The console that her television sat atop was bought at a nearby thrift shop and refurbished by her. Katniss had sanded it down before putting a whitewash over it and adding lacquer to give it a more modern look.

In fact, most of the furniture in her and Prim’s apartment was completely refurbished by her. She had always had an eye for decorating and instead of going to a four-year college, Katniss had opted to go to design school.

Creating something new from what people considered junk gave her a special kind of thrill—almost akin to being in love.

At least that’s what she thought it might feel like.

“Whoa!”

Katniss whipped over to her sister—who was holding an unfolded paper in her hands.

She stood from her seat and went to Prim. “What?”

Wordlessly, Prim handed the piece to her—it was a letter.

The letter was on marbled paper, an elegant insignia atop it, and she could see that the elegant calligraphy was done by hand:

Dear Miss Everdeen,

You are hereby summoned to the kingdom of Panem to present yourself to His Royal Highness, King Peeta.

Photo documentation has validified that you are the Queen Consort to His Royal Highness.

Attached is my business card, please contact me to arrange your travel to Panem.

Respectfully,

The Rt. Hon. Effie Trinket

Private Secretary to His Royal Highness

“This is a joke!” Katniss tossed the letter onto her desk and laughed. “Photo documentation? There is no such thing—”

The laugh fell from her lips as Prim turned the FedEx envelope upside down and a single photo fell onto her bedspread.

“There’s a business card in here, too,” Prim told her carefully.

Walking over, Katniss could see that the photo was facedown.

Trembling, she picked the print up and read the elegant cursive atop it:

‘Peeta and his new bride, Katniss Everdeen!’

Next to the caption was a happy face; it was obvious that this statement was made in jest.

Turning the photograph, a wave of nausea hit seeing the image of her seven-year-old self, a paper towel veil atop her head, joining hands with a blond boy—

Prince Peeta.

Or to be more precise, His Royal Highness King Peeta of Panem.

[xplrvibes]

So, Hell Week is upon us once again.

Before I get into this, I want to be completely honest with you all- I had zero expectations going into this. ZERO. I wasn't overly excited, I didn't think it was gonna blow my mind- in fact, after the underwhelming mess that the Trilogy wound up being (sorry to any Trilogy fans out there, please read the "opinion" dieclaimer at the front door), I was a bit concerned about how this was going to go.

So, imagine my surprise when I actually came out of this kind of...really enjoying it? It reminded me of some of the better parts of the so-called season 2, at any rate.

I'll put the rambly stuff behind a cut, but in short- solid start.

Remember my disclaimer: Any thoughts, criticisms, or reviews expressed in this post are my own opinions. The definition of opinion is: “A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.”

This place has a very heavy story- so heavy, in fact, that snc did have to stop multiple times to issue trigger warnings and disclaimers. I do want to say that I think that is pretty nice that they issued those warnings, and that they used discretion in how they were providing the ugly story being told.

That being said- snc clearly seemed surprised by the fact that a hospital run by nuns and priests could be so evil and have such terrible back stories, and that naivety was kind of sweet, but also caused a little bit of confusion for them throughout the video. Trust an old lapsed Catholic who was taught by nuns and priests when I say that this place having bad vibes and being the site of a lot of cover ups and corruption didn't exactly make my jaw unhinge and roll across my kitchen floor in shock.

As far as the paranormal activity that they caught was concerned- I found a few things interesting:

Absolute power, after all, corrupts absolutely.

I had to laugh when the rem pod thing was going off in the beginning and Nate said, "Why don't you move the bag full of equipment, see if that helps?" They moved the bag of equipment, the rem pod stopped going off, and they immediately developed short term amnesia and were like, "Whoa, wonder why this suddenly stopped going off?!"

I'm not always a fan of the robot voice box thing, but I did think it was extremely interesting how many religious/Catholic words came up in this particular place. Random how things like "contrition," "rapture," "thurifer," "oremace," etc. The fact that they've never heard those words before, to my knowledge, until they were in a Catholic place was kind of compelling.

Thought it was interesting that Colby said earlier in the episode that he felt "wobbly" in the nun room, but when he went up there later, nothing happened. He was even saying that he felt like it was residual energy up there, which sidenote- why does he always casually drop little pieces of knowledge like that out there and then never expand on his thought? How did he know it was residual energy? Explain, please.

The voices they were hearing were kind of cool. And robot voice thing going "Yeeessssssss" when they said they heard a voice was creepy as shit lol.

The fog on the camera was kinda cool, but Nate could've just adjusted his hold on it and just breathed directly onto the lens? Idk.

The double Estes Method. I'll admit, I didn't understand why in the hell they would even attempt this at first. Seems pointless and counterproductive. But once it got going up in the chapel, it was actually interesting. Everytime their answers not only synced up to the questions, but to each other- gotta admit, that was cool. It was also cool that occasionally, one would hear something that the other wouldn't, but that it would still match the question being asked. So yeah, I liked that.

I need them to stop with that drawing planchette thing immediately. It's silly. Stop doing it, stop forcing the scribbles to mean something, stop all of it.

As you all know, I'm not a big fan of some of the more...easily debunkable equipment, such as the rem pod and the whacky flashlight tricks. However, I was just thinking about the flashlights in particular, and I wonder if maybe some of what happens with those flashlights is more of their intuitive nature coming out, than these ghosts just sitting around and flicking the on/off button every couple of seconds. Like, maybe they can already sense the right questions to ask, to line up with the flashlights flickering on and off (cause when you set those twisty flashlights up the way they set them up, they can pretty much flicker off and on at will). Maybe we're looking at the power of the flashlights from the wrong end. Maybe it's the questions, and not the answers, that are paranormal in nature.

Or maybe I'm an idiot who ate too much shrimp today. Idk. Could go either way. I'll consult the flashlights about it.

A few more miscellaneous thing I just wanted to call out:

I was a little confused and suspicious of the tourguide right off the bat (even though we never saw him). They couldn't film the tour because you won't show up in camera? Are you fucking Bela Lugosi? What kind of shit is that??

Everyone already pointed out that the hospital is apparently "invested" with snakes, so I won't pile on and point it out again. Even though I really would like to make a terrible joke about an abandoned hospital investing their life savings with a bunch of snakes...I will refrain.

Nate: "lays down in an old grimey dirty coffin" also Nate: "WTF HOW DID I GET FLEAS?! 😱"

They really backloaded the first half of this video with random clips and jumpscares, like chill out fellas.

Colby Brock, Career Ghost Hunter: "I just shut the camera off cause I got scared."

Colby Brock, Family Man: "The only things that really freak me out are nuns, grandparents, and little kids."

They are so polite to these nun ghosts. Lots of pleases and thank yous.

I've been on the internet way too long- when they were joking about them having babies, all I could think was "mpreg is always possible" lol.

The ending was very...abrupt. And not having a preview for the next video was strange to me.

As i said earlier, this was a solid start. I love their chemistry with Nate and Seth, I enjoyed the editing and the pacing and the solid storytelling, and none of the evidence (besides the planchette) pissed me off, so that's always a plus lol. They didn't get too much, but what they did got was kind of cool, kind of creepy, and surprisingly cohesive. Overall, I'd give it a solid 8/10.

Excited for the rest! Let me know what you thought!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

[brightwoods]

Im not sure which thomas thoughts it was, but i remember that after alastair calls thomas ”light of my eyes“ In persian, thomas thinks ”i love him”. Was that just a throwaway comment or…..

Oh, that was definitely not a throwaway comment! It's actually going to come back up in the actual fic very soon. And what went on with that is going to come up more in his thoughts when I post it for more chapters too

That's in this one/set during chapter 11, but their first date and first kiss only happened on Sunday and Alastair only calls him that on Friday night. So Thomas was self-aware enough to be like whoa I've been into him for years and I got to holy shit I'm in love with him fast and it's almost definitely far too early to bring that up without scaring him off (especially since he had no idea about the fake dating or the Charles situation so he thought that Alastair's random bursts of distance up to that point were from Thomas scaring him off so he was definitely like this is a keep to myself thought for now).

And then while he was holding off, things got really complicated for Alastair with the whole Elias situation and he was like yup, he has a lot on his mind without me making things about me and throwing that at him when it's almost definitely still too early

And then Elias was gone and things were going really well and they had that really good date and he was debating whether it was still too early to say it when it was less than a week since he originally thought no, that's too soon and they still hadn't actually been dating for two weeks

And he was kind of psyching himself up to do it and be like I know it's still early but- but then the rest of the Merry Thieves showed up at Alastair's house and there was the awkwardness of them coming to pick up Cordelia and they were going to get Thomas right after but oh great they could take him now then and there was all the awkwardness of them half-heartedly offering that Alastair could come and Alastair clearly not wanting to go and Thomas not really wanting to ditch Alastair when they were having such a nice time and he was with him first but all of his friends were being impatient and Alastair was claiming he was busy anyway and telling him to go and basically there went that opportunity for the day and then Thomas kind of had other things on his mind like were things with Alastair okay or was stuff with his friends messing things up after he'd tried proving to everyone (including himself) with that movie night at Matthew's house that he brought Alastair along for that he could spend time with them both at the same time and it would be fine

And then Monday he was just relieved that things seemed to be okay and that apparently Alastair and Kit hung out or talked or something, but he was still worried about the Matthew and Alastair uncomfortable dynamic, but still, that was a whole other thing and things between Alastair and him were still going to well and he was back to telling himself he was going to find a good moment and just tell Alastair and then they had plans together with Alastair's friends and he thought maybe he'd tell him after or after one of the dinners with their families or at some point when they were alone together after a nice date

And then things imploded as fast as they were planned before he got the opportunity to say anything and he was very very relieved that he hadn't said it and made even more of a fool of himself and he didn't want to know if Alastair would have said it back as some joke or to keep stringing him along while he was dating someone else (because the moment Thomas saw the text, the Charles and Alastair thing clicked together and that is why he was so upset and reacted like don't talk to me again)

And then he was living under those assumptions and with those beliefs including when he thought Charles and Alastair broke up after his own break up with Alastair until the end of chapter 20 when Alastair drunkenly told him about breaking up with Charles over the Grace thing before he'd ever actually asked Thomas out and now anything that Thomas has thought or processed since the end of that chapter is redacted until I post chapter 21 because it would definitely include spoilers

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

New Neighbour - Colin Shea x Reader

Pairing: Colin Shea x Reader

Word Count: 991

Warnings: fluff

A/N: I’ve had this in my completed folder for weeks now and decided to finally post it because Colin is a character very close to my heart. 

After pausing for a moment to catch your breath you returned to the task at hand. Grabbing another couple of boxes you started to make your way back inside your new apartment building.

“Whoa, hey you okay there? Need a hand?” You hear someone say as you blindly try and walk inside.

Glancing round you see a kind, incredibly attractive man smiling over at you.

“Oh yeah that would be great, wait you’re not gonna steal my stuff right?” You ask making the man laugh.

“No I’m not I promise, I live here too so I wouldn’t get far even if I tried” he laughs pointing up at the building as he grabs one of the boxes from you.

“Well it’s nice to meet you neighbour” you smile as the two of you walk inside.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Colin by the way” he smile as you start walking up the stairs.

“(Y/N)” you smile introducing yourself.

The two of you continue walking up the stairs together when you reach the final set of stairs though you notice Colin pause.

Looking over at him you noticed the playful grin was gone. Replaced with a muted sad expression, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“You alright?” You ask him grabbing his attention.

He plasters on a smile one that was far less genuine than the one you’d seen before.

“Yeah just never get used to all these stairs” he says starting up them again.

“Oh you live on this floor too that’s cool” you smile catching him up.

Once at the top you walk over to your new apartment opening it up and letting the both of you in.

You place the box down in the kitchen and turn to see Colin looking around the sad expression back on his face.

“You can just put that box there” you tell him point to the couch.

Colin just nods slightly before putting the box down shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

“Nice place” he says with a small smile.

“Yeah decent price too, the last tenet must have been an artist going by the light fixtures over there” you say pointing over to the corner.

“Yeah she um, she made models” Colin tells you.

“Oh did you know her?” You ask.

“Uh yeah, she um we ah we used to date so I was round here a lot” he tell you looking down at the floor.

The sad expression on his face made sense now. You felt bad for the guy, you’d probably struggle walking into your ex’s old apartment too.

“Oh I’m sorry, you don’t have to stay” you tell him.

He gives you a small smile “no it’s alright it wasn’t a bad break up or anything, her art career took off so she moved on while I stayed” he says.

“Plus unpacking would be quicker and more fun with company” he smiles.

“Okay but as long as you’re completely okay with it, I don’t want to accidentally send you into a downwards spiral” you says making him chuckle.

“It’s okay I’m past the eating ice cream phase” Colin laughs making you chuckle.

“Well if you revert back send me the bill for the ice cream” you laugh.

The two of you continue chatting and laughing as he helped you unpack. By the evening you were mostly unpacked just a few boxes left which could be left until the morning.

You grabbed a couple beers from the fridge passing one to Colin sitting down beside him.

“So what do you do for a living?” He asks taking a swig of his beer.

“I work in marketing, boring job really but I like it and it pays the bills” you chuckle “what about you?”

“Musician, much to my dad’s disappointment” colin chuckles.

“Oh really what did he want you to do?” You ask taking a sip.

“Police officer like him, but I liked music more. That being said I did pick up a few things from him” he explains.

“Oh really like what?” You chuckle.

“I can track down people, I actually helped my ex track down all of her ex’s” he explains making you raise a brow.

“Why’d you do that?” You ask.

“She got into her head that if you sleep with more than 20 people you’ll never find the one, so thought if she tracked down all of her 20 ex’s one would be the one” he explains a small smile playing on his lips.

“I’m guessing that plan didn’t work?” You ask with a quiet chuckle.

“God no, but she got over that idea she’s probably on number 22 now” he chuckles.

“Well it’s good that she got over that mentality just because you’ve slept with lots of people it doesn’t devalue your worth. It’s just a number at the end of the day” you smile, noticing him smiling back at you.

“I can cheers to that” he smirks holding his bottle out.

“Cheers” you smile knocking the neck of your bottle against his.

“So what’s your number?” He asks after a moment.

“15, I was a wild one back in college” you smirk making Colin snort and shake his head.

“Alright what’s your number?” You laugh pushing his shoulder playfully.

“I dunno I lost count” he laughs shrugging his shoulders.

You laugh along with him “Ally would let me hide in here the morning after while I waited for my one night stand to leave” he chuckles.

“Well you can continue to hide here if you want” you offer but he just shakes his head.

“No it’s okay I don’t do that anymore, guess I’ve mellowed with age” he smirks.

“Well you’re still more than welcome to visit whenever you want, you seem like a nice guy and I’d like to hang out more” you say smiling over him.

He smiles back at you warmly taking a small sip of his beer “me too” he smiles.

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