#WHICH WAS AN ABSOLUTE ACCIDENT
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spent all morning rereading all of my own fics from the past several years and sometimes its like . .. dang i'm kind of good at this
#also when you read them all back to back you REALLY can see the overuse of certain phrases#'breath she didn't know she was holding' i'm looking at you you dumb bitch#also i need to stop talking about fingertips lmao#ALSO realised upon rereading that i'm basically giving my gf a christmas gift that i wrote kara giving lena once#WHICH WAS AN ABSOLUTE ACCIDENT#AND NOW I'M AFRAID SHE'LL READ IT AND GET THE GIFT AND REALISE
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broke: Jeremy is captain sunshine golden retriever boy who hides his feelings and his fucked up family situation
woke: actually🤓☝️ Jeremy first met Andrew in juvie when they were 15 & 13 respectively
#the way i would go absolutely FERAL if this were the case#probably not tho#...but just imagine...#they were both in cali at the time so it's technically possible¯\_(ツ)_/¯#andrew minyard#aftg#jeremy knox#the sunshine court#all for the game#tsc#ok but really just imagine...teen jeremy with anger issues and a criminal record#which his rich stepdad sealed for him if jeremy agreed to take the name 'knox#also headcanon that jeremy has an older brother who plays exy professionally (but had an accident on court and had to quit)#AND JEREMY WAS THE ONE TO PUSH ANDREW TO TRY PLAYING EXY IN JUVIE.#andrew agreed just to make jeremy shut up about exy and his pro big bro#and maybe (just maybe) they helped each other figure out their sexualities👀#ngl so many possibilities here omg#jerejean#andreil#<- for visibility purposes✨️
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Impulsively shoving a guy's hand in your mouth after having the thought "oh just like when my little sister used to prick herself on a rose thorn" and then immediately being treated like a pet who ate something they shouldn't have? Wonderful. Thank you, Thane.
(also not pictured is Thane apparently trying to scrape your tongue with his hand BEFORE pouring the holy water down your throat because NO. BAD.)
#bewitching sinners#palmier baker#thane verashkova#accidentally ingesting vampire blood because of big brother impulses is wild#also the reason hes so alarmed is bc in that world you kinda soulbond to others and thats how you soulbond as a vampire#you drink each others blood and so hes flipping out because while he hasnt had your blood yet#hey your ex is going to absolutely kill me if we bond on accident and i dont think i wanna die like that!#which is VERY cool to know thank you thane im so glad your concern is actually less of being bound#but about being murdered thats really cool#also the fact thane is found in the library studying with arshem my beloved ex and is BRIBED TO LEARN RECIPES#by arshem with vials of mixed blood hes just CASUALLY CARRYING is like hey man#thank you for being group mum i love you for it#and then later on arshem actually is like oh thane you can drink my blood later since you havent fed for a while#and thane is super chipper about it like HECK YEAH THANKS !#hey boys youre adorable thank you for existing in this incredibly fucked up world#im in a choke hold with this otome im sorry#you ever try to be nice to a guy and think surely this will help him a little bit then you get background lore#and you realize youre probably making things A LOT WORSE FOR HIM by being nice#im going through it with my emotions as i learn about palmiers actions pre game swap so like#dude please i am BEGGING YOU palmier please have ONE redeeming quality in you at some point#i want to adopt one of the love interests as my son though and im obsessed with the fact he can speak fish#my son can speak to the fish and he gives me fish as a present bc i might need it later#and i do actually in fact need said fish later for another quest#thankyou my son i love you and i appreciate you youre amazing#gonna have to draw arshem at some point and everyone will immediately go yeah that makes sense
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thinking about boromir dying and and his last words being “I have failed”
and Aragorn saying “No!” and kissing his brow and “You have conquered. Few have gained such a victory”
and realizing that even here, Tolkien was planting the seeds for Frodo, because Boromir’s victory, the victory Aragorn praised him for was that he fell to the Ring’s temptation but unlike gollum and Isildur he came back—
and because he came back, Frodo could too.
#literary emotions#lotr#boromir and frodo as foils#also as a side note#the whole interchange between Boromir and Aragorn reads remarkably like the catholic rite of confession#which i suspect was not an accident#but you have the naming of the sin: “i tried to take the ring from Frodo”#the act of contrition: “i am sorry”#and the act of penance: “i have paid” ie died trying to save merry and pippin#which means of course that Aragorn is taking the role of priest in giving absolution#which is very priest-prophet-king vibes#anyway tolkien is famously anti-allegory#but when people love to say “frodo is the Jesus-figure” in lotr i think they are massively overlooking aragorn#who like. is descended from a line of kings but of a now kingless country. and doesn’t look like a king. and heals people.#and something about the entrance into the city in disguise versus his entrance as the king reminds me of jerusalem#idk it’s not an allegory for similar reasons to why frodo is not an allegory#but i do feel that tolkien does allusions and symbolism a lot
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watched a playthrough of Reveil yesterday and I think it's the most successful use of the horror walking simulator format that I've seen. Germans are killing it in the boring existential dread category of fiction, which sounds like a criticism but is actually some of my highest praise
#my only criticism is it is absolutely humorless like most german properties#as a people they just dont understand or value humor#despite being incredibly funny by accident all the time#what i cant figure out is the use of the name “Liam Kennely” which is obviously an RE reference#but why#what was the reference intending to convey#just “video games”?#the rest of the plot isnt that shallow so it stuck out
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Hi GT, I hope you are doing well! who is your favorite Weasley?
Thank you! Absolute treat of a question. Oh, man. It's Ron, right? It was always going to be Ron.
So here's the thing: the Weasleys are a really well-characterized family in that you can kind of see a lot of character emerge through limited sketches and contextual information. Bill is Number One Boy, the best at everything, oldest child who was always confident and at peace with his indisputable place in the family; so he's a chill, cool, incredibly competent guy who naturally takes-charge. Charlie is a patented never-grew-out-of-your-middle-school-dragons-phase Weird Kid, but like, mindfully and enthusiastically so, because his parents probably still had plenty of time to support and nurture his interests; plus he's also different to Bill and excels in different ways, so they aren't too competitive (as we see). Percy is the first one to suffer from the pressure of mounting expectations, and he's very quickly followed by the twins, who do the classic "if I can't be the best I'll be the worst" late-sibling trick of acting up for attention, so he gets lost in the shuffle. (The fight between Ron and Percy in Chapter 58 is, hence, in substantially about the relationship between the two most-ignored members of the Weasley family, and that's why Ron is so much angrier at him than the rest of them. Like I've said before, Ron always thinks he's got it the worst, but he takes pride in being able to kinda "tough it out," and nothing pisses him off like other people's self-pity.) Ginny is obviously the baby of the family, a girl with everyone wrapped around her finger, and I love her, but I feel like we didn't get enough grit in her portrait— she's just really successful in everything she does, in a way that can read as flat to some people, and certainly read as flat to me my first time through the books. In fact, Ginny reminds me a lot of Bill: first daughter/first son, described often as "cool" and clever and good at basically everything, charming and generally liked by all. Which is lovely. A delight to read, just like the twins are. But my taste in characters ranges way more fucked-up and mean.
Ron is the last boy, "sixth son of a woman who wanted a daughter" (fascinating line that complicates everything we know about Molly's relationship with her kids — and BTW, how the hell does Ron know that, and how old was he when he learned it? And this also comes into play with Molly's cry of "not my daughter" to Bellatrix which like, as a moment obviously fucking rules, but also — there's a reason she says daughter, not "child," right? Do you see what I'm digging at? Anyway). Ron meets Harry and recognizes himself in how Harry defaults to thinking people don't care about him, or won't help him if he asks, because — although they come from very different circumstances, Ron's home was completely loving, just not as nurturing as he always needed it to be — Ron usually goes in assuming people don't care about him, too. So his first instinct is to go: "Alright. Well, I'll care about you, then, weird stranger. Do you want to share my horrible sandwich, and also my life, perhaps?" Goddamn! Sixth of seven in a house with never enough to go around, and he's immediately like: "fuck it, room for one more." Because he could have been Percy — and you can see it in the way that Ron is mean, sometimes, he's not careful with his words and he struggles with empathy and he's got a vengeful streak that comes out when he's pissed — but he isn't selfish enough, he loves too much and too easily, and it takes shockingly little to earn his loyalty. You just have to pay a little attention to him.
#i'm excluding arthur and molly because i assume they're off the table#and they don't get a ton of characterization in the series#they're sort of the archetypal 'Good Parent' figures who represent goodness and nurturing#which is ironic because. again. the weasley household is not perfect#and it creates significant problems for ron and by extent the golden trio when the weasley drama#spills over and starts to create actual plot problems. e.g. percy#I think it's absolutely no accident that Percy and Ron have parallel arcs in Deathly Hallows#they both run away from their family and have a prodigal-son moment#very telling about their respective characters I believe#in short. there are two kinds of Weasleys: the “number one” and the “number two”#the tragedy of number one (bill charlie ginny) is that their problems are dismissed by no. 2 because “you're good at everything!”#the tragedy of number two (percy twins ron) is that their self-doubt is being constantly & implicitly affirmed by the existence of no. 1
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In light of fine's event announcement, I would like to formally welcome Eichi to the "Event 5-Stars Going Through The Horrors™️ (2024)" squad.
#i wouldve put nagisa's absolute card here but he is smiling Despite the horrors lol#enstars#ensemble stars#enstars cards#im pretty scared for this story actually bc so far the “es idol colonization” plot has not been handled very well imo#(akatsuki kinda fucked over the local idols on accident in submarine ryuseitai could only do so much in stella maris... matrix😔...)#esp when you take into account that the ryukyuans are like. an actual marginalized group of people that have been colonized before#and project atlantis absolutely is an exploitation of them for es's (eichis) own gain. which is the point yes! but can they handle it well?#i do hope akiras (assuming he'll be writing) critical side comes through here and we get to see some backlash and tori + eichi growth#but yeah we'll see ig!#on a more positive note though this mv is fucking gorgeous. everything i imagined shukufuku no library couldve been and more#ponytail eichi is also one of the best design decisions ever made god hes so pretty
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Me and flips have not been friends ever since I landed on my head/neck during a double back when I was 18, so of course deciding to finally learn a front flip half twist is going to be good for me. Living by the whole "if I'm scared I'll do it scared" thing now, working out well for me so far.
#technique is dodge lmao#the reason i could do a double back was my upper leg muscles are fn strong & will launch me into heaven even if my run up is absolute shite#but my coach at the time believed in 'if youre scared you don't ever have to do it again' so i just never got over that accident#which is why im almost immediately moving into the flip part instead of going UP first#anyway i literally need to commit to pull my hands into my left shoulder instead of letting them faff about and then I've got the twist#we'll work on the ehrm. *neatness* afterwards lmao
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God the new ultimate guide sucks
It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.
But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.
SUMMARY THOUGHTS
Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.
They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.
I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.
Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.
Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.
Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.
Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."
It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?
Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.
SHORT STORY THOUGHTS
And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.
Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe
First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"
It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?
Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool
The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.
Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.
I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.
Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.
It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.
I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?
shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?
Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch
A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.
Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.
Story 4: Clear Sky
Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.
Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.
Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."
to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"
Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."
who wrote this? Gray Wing??
#The amount of passive voice Clear Sky has to be surrounded with in order to look like a redeemable character is dizzying#I feel like I'm reading a headline about cops who blew up an orphanage every time I read anything official about him#oh wait im sorry. A ''high-pressure accident which occurred at a government institution with 3 officers present'' lmaooooo#ultimate field guide#bone babble#im actually REALLY glad actually they havent been making these#This was garbage#There were a few good things in this but overall? Absolute slop. I wouldn't even feed this to a pig.#I think this is actually down there with Cats of the Clans (with Rock) for worst field guide#This is abysmal#You would be better with the wiki summaries and the 4 stories are mid at best#What a shame that they re-pivoted so hard from Riverstar's SE which I was JUST praising for tossing out that shitty ''redemption arc''#Nope. We're right back to square one.#How much do you guys wanna bet it's ONE writer who's OBSESSED with Clear Sky and every time he writes anything he does this#I'm not sure who wrote this one but let's see if my hunch is right lmao
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if you listen very carefully, you can actually hear my heart breaking in the background of this scene from Legend of the Cybermen
(uh, spoilers I guess for an audio that came out in 2010?)
#jamie mccrimmon#sixth doctor#technically zoe's briefly here too i guess#legend of the cybermen#context: i revisited this scene sort of by accident the other night and it's been tormenting me since#at which point i decided the context of the triology leading up to this must not be necessary for it to still destroy a person#so i decided it was fair to subject others to it#sorry for the weird cuts but i clipped out the parts where it jumps to concurrent action among different characters#ALSO you should all know that 'beanpole polly sailor ben dainty victoria aye and me and wee zoe too'#is one of my absolute fave ways of referring to two's tardis teams#it's just not a suitable shorthand for tumblr // adequately known or i'd tag things that far more often
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I forgot to post this haha (that's what being too busy with animation brings you oops) but anyway!! Older gussiri designs bc I think they deserved that (they did have designs in my mind but I had never made a reference for them haha)
Plus some notes on what they're up to at that age! They're so silly <333
#forgot to put this in the notes but their baby girl sunniva would be abouuuut 9 years old#no-one knows how they managed to stay together this long#siri's become the head midwife (which isn't that impressive cuz she's one of the few midwives) but she's very proud of it#she also makes a lot of their family's clothes by hand and puts little lavender pouches in everyone's beds for a good smell#gustav lost an arm in some kind of freak accident (probably that's still up for debate cuz I'm going back and forth on that detail)#(even tho it isn't exactly a detail it's like. bigger than a detail LMAO)#he's a blacksmith (surprisingly) and his workplace is a complete mess#siri brings him lunch in exchange for kisses#their daughter absolutely hates them being affectionate#sunni is often playing with trinkets at the smithery#i wanted to add a little sunni design here too but i don't have a lot of time to draw these days smh#anyways#httyd#how to train your dragon#oc#artinandwritin's art#siri vínteri#gustav larson#character designs#oc x canon#gussiri
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Have you thought about collabing with the creators of Clangen?
It would be cool? But from what I know, Clangen really tries to stick close to canon, moreso than I do. They wouldn't be looking to add my clan culture expansions or spirituality overhauls.
So like, sure, if they/a mod maker approached me with an idea or request. Otherwise I'm not sure what we'd collaborate about?
#I want to translate the name file into Clanmew at some point#But another large difference between BB and Clangen is ecological accuracy#Which is something I very intentionally set out to fix#Clangen takes place in a bizarro world mix of the us and uk like canon#The United Statedoms of Englerica#And more specifically canon takes place in the... California/Appalachia/Pennines.#Mostly Appalachia but they mentioned a 'Mountain Vole' in DOTC which is from Cali-fucken-Fornia iirc#Unless it was an accident and they meant ALPINE vole or pygmy vole...#Digressing please do not take any of this as a dig or insult about the ecology stuff. I 10000% understand why they don't do what I do#More than anyone in the world I understand why they would not be super obsessed with ecology#There's absolutely no replacement for coyotes in England. And there is no Gar.#So you can't even do The Garfield Joke if you do what I do#I reintroduced boars so there would be some accurate danger that isn't just offleash dogs#I'm proud of the research I do but it is a lot of work! Work they're already doing on coding a workable game.#Bone babble
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Now Miss Nina...THOSE TAGS
i said what i said!
ALSO: i think he said "I-I Lo--" before he passed out </3
#yeah…yeah#whats a fanfic without a homoerotic fatal wounding right#also i am a richard siken gay#he is my favorite poet i model my image after him#jk is so there is a niche in his chest#where a heart could fit perfectly#and he thinks if he could just manuever one into place#Well Then#GAME OVER.#but no i know it was BRUTAL#LIKE RAVENSTAN JUST CAPPING SOMEONE#jk smirking w blood in his teeth litrally Dying like#that was a little sexy of u saint stan ;) xxx#rs like shut up shut up SHUT UP I HATE YOU I HATE YOU#I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU U STUPID FKN MAN#like I Cannot Do This Without You DO YOU UNDERSTAND#like you did it once and you’ll do it again baby#Suck It Up Sweetheart ;) xx ;-;#lol branch in my eye#also jk being a clown while being mortally wounded is my fav content bc hes trying to make rs laugh bc he knows#if he doesnt hes going to have a panic attack and not be able to breathe bc he is freaking asthma boy and never has his shit#so he is like fkn flatlinin and in SO MUCH PAIN but hes acting up but hes trying to distract stan so he doesnt hyperventilate :(#and he does the same thing in the divorce para like i think they have the exact conversation and rstan is like SMH#u Never Learn!! like no sir <3 never not once!! do u think im sexc do u want to kiss me...like Yes Absolutely bUt StILL MAD#*rstan inflicting pacifistic violence and flickin jk on the forehead or hitting him w a throw pillow patching him up*#Stop Hitting On Me >:c KLJDSksjd WHICH IS SO CUTE#and jkyle is just like YEESH EAAASY KILLA! CANtCHA SEE I GOT GLASS SKIN N PAYPA' BONES?! IM V SOFT N DELICATE#WHICH IS SO UNSERIOUS he also was such an Ayshole when rstan did it and went OWwW so rs kissed him on the forehead#BY ACCIDENT HES NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT It WAS DIABLOLICAL AS FUCK HE WAS SO PROUD TOO SMH#rS LIKE UUU ARE SO ANNOYING I HAtE U ( me when i lie ) jk like yayaya anyways can i have a second one yk For My OCD <3 jAAAAAILLL!
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OK I swear the reason I'm showing you this will have context in a couple days! But also, the fact B&N has a section dedicated to "well he may be a ten buuuuut" and included my current crime of "he's blonde" is like. Dang. Called out.
Didn't help I saw this with a guy and I said "oh no, my blonde enjoyer crimes called out!" and he said "better than redheads" and I'm like. "Sir, I have to inform you of my previous crime." and he was not pleased as he said "Fish... why....."
#moe talks a lot#not art#this will be much more relevant to my art in a couple days but just know#that ive had a field day staring at these and noticing unintentional bullshit#such as ! note how they are all kinda average writing size OR p big except for the tail one#which is kinda small and i feel like the person who wrote it is like this is the opposite of a '10 but -' ... thats a plus...#but then you also have all of them starting off lower case EXCEPT He's a man-child#oh absolutely gotta cater to the man-childs esteem and capitalize that one#this might be incredibly funny to me but i am not letting it be rebloggable im so sorry#also i like how he calls me fish in public bc despite having known me since 4th grade#he got in the habit during our ffxiv days during skype calls with someone in another state#so instead of using my in game name of Tuna vs my actual skype name Salmon#hes like fuck it we ball with just Fish#so i am fish to him and it carries over irl when we hang out which is rare but still#this is the same guy who was on the phone with his wife while we were wandering around and he just#watches me walk off with a very serious determination and i hear him say#hold on babe fish just walked over to a makeup store and is staring#so he walks over and asks me whats up and i point to a shelf and say dude#and he looks where im pointing and asks his wife#hey honey do you want main character energy? fish found some lipstick for that#and i hear her over the phone saying what very flatly#and he had to explain that there was a shelf advertising main character energy in sephora#his wife said no which is fair (they were also closed lol)#also the same guy i beat up on accident who lied to his football coach about why he had such fucked up shins#bc he knew his coach liked me as a very kind and quiet and obedient student#and my buddy was like i cant tell him you kicked me so much i bled...#and i just ????????????? hey what you never mentioned bleeding to me? dude? you KEPT MAKING SHORT JOKES#KNOWING ID KICK YOU IN THE SHINS? you never thought to say maybe stop that or maybe just stop picking on me#anyway yeah this guy and i have been through some weird times and most of them are my fault
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thinking about how steve was homophobic and misogynistic in s1 but they gave him a chance to be faced with a demogorgon when people needed help and he stepped up. everyone lauds him for that, and he's become a fan favourite. yet when billy, finally in his right mind after being possessed the whole season, gets the opportunity and chooses to do the same--stepping up to take a killing blow for el--people dont offer him the same grace? why. :(
the biggest (reasonable) argument is always 'billy dying was not a redemption' and it's not, you're right. steve stepping in to whack a demogorgon with jonathan's nail bat wasnt a redemption either; his redemption came with him apologizing to them both, and then working to show nancy that he's a better person as they deal with the fallout of s1, and being gracious about jonathan's presence in nancy's life. he got the chance to show he's changed and managed to redeem himself because he lived, and billy unfortunately didnt. but you cant deny that his final moments proved that the potential for him to change is there, and that makes a difference.
#rei rambles#billy hargrove#steve harrington#stranger things#stranger things meta#kinda? i guess.#also: steve's homophobia and misogyny is a LOT less complicated than billy's racism#u can point to steve's bigotry as a sign of the times and his rich boy upbringing#billy's racism is mired in toxic family dynamics and probably a survival mindset#yes it's not EASY for steve to unlearn shit but that is certainly not as difficult as unlearning coping mechanisms#that probably served as methods of survival for billy as he grew up under his father's fists#unlearning toxic shit is already difficult when it's stuff society made you learn completely by accident through osmosis#which is what i assume is how steve picked up his homophobia and misogyny#imagine trying to unlearn stuff your dad probably beat you up for if you said you didnt believe it or thought was stupid#jeez#i am still absolutely convinced billy was added as a character bc they werent planning on making steve a good guy#so when they decided to do that last minute they had to refill the role#and then they added eddie bc billy became too controversial so they gave ed the metalhead stuff#and gave the racism and mean popular boy stuff to jason#and nixed all the sexualizing#which is another thing altogether. like why was billy the only character in this entire show that was so overtly sexualized?????? wild.#so weird.#i digress
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Every appearance of the red-haired menace that is early Laurence forces me to sit here and stew upon how I will fix his introduction in the rewrite. As a coping mechanism. Unfortunately since I can't remember the parts where his character isn't just harassment so I can't cook with the themes the way I'd like to. Like the way he calls Aph "my love" after she very explicitly in the text of the game tells him not to do that... bad vibes. I think I could rock with his character if he'd done the same sort of approach in hitting on Aphmau as heavily, but the moment she lays down an actual boundary, he backs way the hell off. I could even fuck with her trying to be subtle about the boundary and him not getting it and continuing to make her uncomfortable before she snaps at him and he apologizes, saying that he truly didn't mean anything by it, and he respects the boundary she lays like his life depends on it from then on out. It would create some immediate complexity in his need for explicit communication, and backs up the sort of deeper character hinting they seem to try to do when he's talking about Castor and Cadenza, this idea that he deeply cares, if being a bit pushy on accident. It would also make a good detail fueling the conflicts later on with the love triangle that can sort of prevent Laurence from looking like TOO much of a dickhead (him being unaware or misinterpreting situations, and the delicate nature of it making him uncomfortable asking questions, is a compelling reason to see somebody hurting his friends' feelings, and makes him significantly more sympathetic, opening him up for feelings of remorse and guilt).
#mcd#minecraft diaries#jeremiahs mcd notes#laurence mcd#i want autisic/adhd king laurence and im not even remotely joking#i think it would add a lot to his character to give him those struggles#if i'm recalling his character right anyways#i am still very early in the series#But i do recall vaguely there being conflicts where I was absolutely not on his side#and i had a very strong sense of justice as a kid so i imagine that i'm not making that up#but also its been 8 years so who knows#but i think he can still very much get off on the wrong foot with aph and it can still be good#i think honestly having him get off on the wrong foot and then work to make it up to her would be good as hell#bc it's a situation in which she sees him be willing to work on himself without much prompting#(aka as soon as he's told there's an issue he starts to work on it and she doesn't have to ask)#and she goes oh actually. you know what. maybe hes not a dick.#and she starts to be more comfortable around him over time#It might create this dynamic where it feels like he's always trying to catch up to her level#Always apologizing always being the wrong one#and then eventually when she does something that he can't just smile and bear#(as all friends hurt each other on accident one time or another#it is unavoidable we are but human and i believe Laurence would let a lot of things slide bc he knows how much she's had to forgive him for#And I can see as well it not going over well bc aphmau is not used to the idea of being the wrong one#and she had a reason for what she did and she gets defensive#Causing an uncomfortable moment of tension#I also think that there could be a good spot where Garroth is being more controlling as to try to protect aph and she is bothered by it#feeling in that moment very robbed of control and like he's not listening to her#and then here's laurence#who is willing to build himself anew brick by brick with her input#Like this is how I would overthink it if I wanted a true love triangle conflict introduced to the plot here
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