#WHERE DO THE LIES END
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still reeling from the realization that my blorbo osmosis of 911 was so profoundly wrong that i (a) thought buck and eddie were already an established couple a FULL seven seasons ago, and (b) upon looking at a few gifsets, definitely had their names and faces flipped this entire time
#saw a gifset of the one i thouhght was buck like WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT ONE'S EDDIE#WHERE DO THE LIES END
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scout tf2 had a secretary named jfk
jfk had a secretary named scout tf2
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#tf2#tf2 scout#jfk#jfk scout#scout jfk#scout jfk truther#jfk scout truther#tf2 jfk#november 22 1963#tf2 jfk scout theory#jfk scout theory#valveās secrets#truth come out#jfsout#soutf2 jfk#where do the lies end#no more lies#john fitzgerald kennedy#john āscoutā fitzgerald kennedy#john ātf2 from scoutā fitzgerald kennedy#the truth about massachusetts#massachusetts secret#italian carcano scout primary#force a nature italian carcano#force a nature ozwald primary#december 4 1987#taken too sout#massachusetts massacre
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I thought he was born 985???

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"And now I know why! He hates me!"
#first part of the two parter finale where the main character is super reluctant to go on a rescue mission to save him from bill#and ends up punching the main villain in the face in the next ep to save his twin my beloved#dreamscaperers and w3 parallels with dipper and stan is so important to me#dipper pines#stan pines#stanley pines#gravity falls#people always goes on about how stan sees ford in dipper but im just!!!#it's important that he sees himself in dipper too!!! it's super emphasised in dreamscaperers and scaryoke!!!#also him knowing that dipper wasn't going to take his secrets and lies well in nwhs even before the agents showed up#not knowing that dipper would immediately forgive him once he learns he did it all for his twin#cos dipper would do the same for mabel#they're the protective younger angry sweaty twins who care for their sweater twins!!!
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what if i wrote a āshen yuan transmigrates into a wifeā oneshot but the whole premise is based on the song āgone, iām goneā from hadestown and its overall theme is wanderlust and freedom and it starts out as Shen Yuan settling into life in the palace and trying to avoid harem drama and thinking he can just live with his head down for the rest of his new life, only to be hit with a sudden intense yearning to explore his new world the likes heās never felt before. What if he was sickly in his last life. What if he spent his entire last life indoors. Trapped between four walls. What if love is not a gilded cage. What if he begins clawing at the walls of his enclosure, desperate to escape because he wants to live, god please let him live. He canāt do this again. What if he spent months preparing for his escape and in that same breath getting the attention of some of the other wives around him because he has changed and it makes them wary. what if he got bingheās attention as he is wont to do. What if he left. What if Shen Yuan was born with a bottomless pit in his stomach and a gaping maw in his chest. What if he was starving. What if he was starving for the world around him. What if i wrote that. What then
#svsss#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain#scum villain au#scum villans self saving system#svsss au#luo binghe#luo bingge#its the same wife transmigration plot no.143 but its starry coded#and what if i made it a songfic what then. what if i titled it ālove is not a gilded cageā#what if there was no system in this au. just shen yuan on his own#and what if i made it part of a oneshot series with each oneshot depicting an adventure shen yuan goes on#he will eventually find his way back to binghe but not before he finds himself first#what if starry went the fuck to bed#what if the wife he ended up as was someone childish or loud or considered naive and then suddenly sheās not bc sheās sy now#and he has no system and heās alone with no allies and he is STARVING. he is ravenous. he wants to see the world please let him see the wor#world. let him out please please please please#all the wealth within these walls could never buy the thing called love#he cares for binghe greatly. thats his fave character! but he wants out please let him out. you wont even notice heās gone orpheus#youāll find another muse somewhere.#luo bingge is a good hunter but shen yuan is a good hider.#i want ning yingying to find sy in the gardens one day and suddenly see her shizun. sy wanted to try doing sqqās signature move bc it#seemed simple and easy enough and nyy saw him. and she asks him where he learned that. and he panics and lies and says in a dream somewhere#gnaws on the bars of my cage
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How's that possible? Since when did you start eating spicy food? I told you I'd do it for real next time. ...Don't touch me, orāI'll kill you!
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspicy#userrain#userspring#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#chen yi is really sitting there the whole time with only one thought in his mind and it is: i am gonna kiss this man. and then he does!!#okay but heres where i gotta get analytical about it bc ppl will say blah blah theyre so good at miscommunication and im sorry but NO#THEY ARE THE OPPOSITE. when ai di runs away at the end of ep10 after chen yi says he's figured it out and next time he'll do it for real-#chen yi does not seek ai di out Once after that nor does he try to force him into any admissions. HONESTLY HE DOESNT SINCE THE EP10 BAR#he LETS AI DI COME TO HIM EVERY. TIME. he lies a little to keep ai di from running but he doesnt ever actually force ai di to return to him#any time AFTER he CONFIRMS ai di has real feelings for him-which he does during the bar scene. there was no miscommunication there#it was only listening and observing. and chen yi doesnt push farther than offering gifts or that little lie because he wants ai di -#All of ai di. the truest parts of ai di.... he wants the REAL AI DI the one he knows and loves - to come to him of his own volition#in Whatever Form That May Be. because he loves him!! & in this case the form is in torture and accusations bc chen yi's lie has been caught#but chen yi is nothing less than DELIGHTED. bc AI DI STILL CAME. its further proof of ai di's feelings for him and chen yi loves it#& now it's chen yi's turn to show ai di all the ways in which he loves and belongs to him. its time to play his hand after waiting so long
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delivering controversial takes to the "the gang plays minecraft" discussion
#soda offers you a can#sage edited in post bc this thing doesn't have her for some reason?#addressing some hotter opinions ->#sonic does not speedrun. he would not enjoy the tedious task of resetting worlds to have a chance at performing the same actions over again#he does play but does not take it very seriously and dies a lot. he's there if he's wanted present and that's as much as he'll do#he doesn't dislike the game it's just not that interesting to him#shadow doesn't really get the appeal. that's all.#same with sonic in that he'll do it if the right people ask him to but he'll have less fun than sonic bc sonic knows how to play#general enjoyer tier has nuance within it. amy would go really hard on some aspects but doesn't get to the niche things#like redstone machinery and mob farms etc#silver likes the escapism of building little houses. sometimes he starts a world and lives through minecraft unfiction though#which kills the vibe and he won't touch the game for extended periods of time#elise and cream are the most casual in that the game's fun and they get into it but it's just cozy to them#maria would play minecraft if she was around for it and not dead. she'd be so normal about minecraft she'd be so normal about the end poem#minecraft could fix her but alas she's fucking dead#does not play minecraft crowd has feelings ranging from hatred of the game to it not being their thing#i'll leave it up to the observer to decide where each opinion lies#with the addition of some being physically unable to play minecraft. but you know
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we are taking a wildly unprecedented break from our regular loopposting to bring you instead: siffrinposting
specifically thinking about the dialogue w odile in the true end of the prologue when you pick 'i forget things'. the. 'whatever it is, it'll definitely come back to you'. because. no it wont. or maybe some things will, like everyones names did, but other things (like siffrins past, like anything related to the island, like - at this point - most if not everything before the loops entirely) are just gone forever. shes trying to help but honestly it feels more along the lines of her 'of course ive been in love itd be weirder if i hadnt at my age' line where she says something incredibly insensitive without realizing it, completely unintentionally. it hurts :(
#talk tag#'but russ isnt it still-' yeah <3 thats the bit:tm:#sasasap#sasasap spoilers#isatposting#isat#<- not actually isat but just adding those tags for uhh. sorting shit on my blog. categorization. thumbsup#anyways. lies down#also i. went and rewatched someone playing through the true ending to get the exact dialogue and .#i forgot how wawuauahwhauawuguh their Genuine Smile sprites are. i need to lie down im so fuckign sad#sasasap is s o. so. agonizing im gonna blwo up. auguaguaughgh#did also watch the perfect ending for the first time ever and i Knew what was going to happen (have read fics where its mentioned)#but good god the sound effect was. horrific. thanks. never doing that again!#<- sapfrin voice quite literally
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i just finished dark heir
#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him#dark rise#okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections#that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again#and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted#instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have#become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth#he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone#me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it#i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it
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i need to stop shadowboxing the concept of romance when i write. i need to make my brain go to a world where romance doesnāt exist when i write because feeling its constant presence and peopleās expectations of its presence and reading in of its presence is making me a worse writer.
like. thinking a lot about that post thatās going around rn about Books That Are Clearly Afraid Of The Reader. been thinking about how fear of being interpreted or perceived or whatever permeates a Lot of what i do and always has, creatively, and frankly compromises it, especially in terms of fear of people reading romance into my stuff because of how much i write about interpersonal relationships and intimacy and reliance and vulnerability and intense emotional situations.
i need to stop trying to build a boat with my main priority being āi dont want people to insist to me that this is a car or make people feel tricked into seeing a car etc etcā when there is actually no part of this boat that needs to be made with cars in mind at all i could just Build The Damn Boat. this metaphor got lost.
point is i need to stop letting romance take up space in my stories at all. even if it's just as something i'm doing backflips over and around. i need to just start writing about platonic relationships - friendships, queerplatonic relationships, familial relationships, etc - without feeling like i need to first disprove romance as an automated and inherent assumption. romance should have no quarter here, even in feeling forced to deny it.
#gav gab#thinking aloud#sorry if youre in a server with me where you have to see this twice in a row#im just thinking a lot about it#this is definitely um. Influenced. by ocd.#but it's like...#the duelling desires to both have my work understood as being deliberately joyfully and unambiguously#about platonic relationships#while not wanting to put myself in a situation of constantly having to be like#āi love you As A Friendā says character A#character B wanted to hug character C but not in a romantic way or anything#characters D and F didn't have a romantic relationship but it was deeply intimate and committed and Real anyway#i want to just. yknow. have those things exist without having to give space and deference to romance even in denial#yknow?#i just dont know how to have both things at once#'what about ambiguity though gav' i dont want ambiguity.#i dont want Fuck Labels Who Cares What The Type Of Relationship Is! Fuck Platonic And Romantic!#It's Just Love!#i want platonic. period. end of.#good for people who find joy and value in ambiguity and unlabelled dynamics for real im happy for you#that's not where my joy and my sense of being seen lies#anyway. i just feel like im constantly shadowboxing romance yknow#and i want to stop. bc not only does that suck ass it just#i think it makes me a worse writer. i really do think that.#im just so SO aware of how people are going to interpret things most likely#as it has happened to me and in front of me Constantly#since i started sharing my creative work in any capacity#im just sick of it yknow. im sick of constantly having to be so hyperaware of fucking romance#in my writing
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All of this has made me feel so terribly old.
#alexandria thornton#warrior wolf#I'm happy now... but I know not where to go from here.#My life up to this point has been fraught with hardship. I have fought through so much to get here.#What do I do now? Have I borne witness to the end of my journey?#What lies beyond for me now that I am slowly becoming at peace with my past?#What future is there to fight against now that I no longer need to fight and can heal?#I am so lost...
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imo wrt rosquez cryptic pregnancy baby like. if vale is first not believing that the child is his/doing accusatory mind games there and then later trying to take the baby away he does kinda become The Bad Guy even if his emotions make sense on his side. but yeah saying that. alex running interference obviously marc is very protective irl but itās clear it does go both ways
scream trust that even while im exercising empathy for vale in terms of his exact spiral down into crazy during the 2015 season i am ALWAYS hashtag team marc. metaphorical t-shirt that says VALE IS THE BAD GUY that i wear to every grand prix in my mind. i need him to grovel and i know he never will so i need marc to win ten titles minimum
#like i do have to ground his decisions in a thought process that i somewhat empathize with in order to rpf him#and not turn him into a cartoon villian etc. but then i get the marc those where like the worst two weeks of my life quote#and iām like GUARDS. HAMMERS. TO DEATHā¦:#motogp#callie speaks#asks#marc i think is also near the end of his empathy rope w vale at this point but then hes like vale doesnāt wanna fight :)#and i think about how much worse the āactually weāre goodā lies would be if there was a BABY involved
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Adar knows how King and Court think of the Peredhel, like some bittersweet tale of fantasy, like the scion of some distant history told to sleepy little elflings by the fire - but do not fear, gwinig, for the beautiful prince was saved from his cruel captors to live in happiness forever after with us. They speak of him like he's something quaint. Doesn't he look so like LĆŗthien, so like his forefather Fingolfin? Isnāt he as dignified as the Princess Idril? Isnāt he wise like Elu Thingol? How sweet!
And so in the golden light of Lindon do they lie to themselves - for Elu Thingol was ruthless, unshakeable in his convictions even unto his death; yet the courtiers tut at Lord Elrondās stubbornness. Idril Celebrindal was trapped, as hidden as her city as darkness crept up the walls and into her home; yet Lady Galadriel shrugs off her friendās warnings. Fingolfin held Morgoth at bay for four hundred years, unfailing strength carved into his very bones; yet the King both censures his Herald for his forcefulness.
And LĆŗthien, ai! TinĆŗviel, wrathful, relentless, unearthly - when friends flinch from your gaze and Lords shift uneasily when you talk, when the wise cannot bring themselves to look on you for fear of what they will see, when Kings lie and placate and spin gossamer traps because they know you could unmake them - that is LĆŗthien.
- from the fic Iām writing about Elrond from Adarās perspective. I'm on 100 words so far and idk how I'm going to make it to 5k... you're welcome to talk to me about it tho :)
#the fic is still unnamed - suggestions welcome!#would yall read 5k of adar just fangirling over elrond in that kinda hot kinda creepy way of his???#robert aramayo is cute and all but tragic eldritch vision of loveliness elrond just hits different#eldritch elrond#eldritch lĆŗthien#trop adar#adar x elrond#elu thingol#idril celebrindal#fingolfin#this fic is pretty critical of gil galad's court rn - like they're just picking the truths they want to notice about Elrond (familiar?)#but there IS a reason for that bc no one just lies to themselves all the time if the truth is not Deeply Uncomfortable for some reason#so here's the theory: the first age was absolutely Shit bc everyone was dying and shit was going up in flames all over right?#for the noldor all the nice stuff like music free time romance nice food books science pretty clothes dancing etc got left behind in valino#for the Sindar - already potentially āāless developedāā due to fewer valar & less stable environment - what they had made got destroyed#so at the end of the first age everyone is Suffering and miserable and Really Really looking forward to finally catching a Goddamn Break#so when the second age kicked off and things were stable enough to start making nice clothes food houses books music art#and political tensions cooled enough to do a cultural exchange that boosted invention economy the spread of ideas etc#it fed into a budding luxury culture among elves - like in the 50s after ww2 where the West went 'we can have shit now so we'll have it ALL#like Fuck Yes you deserve to be comfortable after that shitshow but now... youre a lil TOO comfortable#to adar this means theyre forgetting history ignoring sauron and avoiding the uncomfortable parts of elronds heritage
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Rewatching succession it really is wild to see Kendall and Shiv convince themselves over and over again that they can "fix ATN/Waystar from the inside" only to completely abandon their morals the minute it gives them a strategic advantage.
When they're on the outside it's an endless diatribe about how evil and rotten the company is to its core, but the second they get the slightest whiff of power they suddenly decide the problems are actually really manageable and that with the right leadership it could be a force for good, and like...the saddest part is that they genuinely seem to believe that.
#where's that crime and punishment quote about how the worst thing is that you've betrayed yourself for nothing...#and they really seem to think its true! they genuinely believe that they can turn it around and make it good! it's not an act!#kendall really thinks he's a feminist and 'one of the good ones' and shiv really does think she stands with/for women and liberal#ideals and the truth is that no matter how much they might care about those things they will always love power more and they#are infinitely more invested in the power structures that keep injustice alive than they are in actually trying to stop injustice#roman is the only one who's actually aware and honest about how fucked it all is but he thinks that means everything's bullshit and#therefore nothing matters. which can be just as dangerous as convincing yourself you're the good guy (see: america decides)#that's one of the things i like so much about the ending for shiv and kendall bc they're finally forced to confront the lies they've been#telling themselves. and like. maybe that'll go nowhere. maybe they won't change. but they might. and the only hope they have#of actually growing as people and maybe doing something good is if that illusion gets shattered#idk man i just have so many thoughts about succession#succession#shiv roy#kendall roy
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I don't think we talk about xiyao exes to lovers enough. I understand that in canon the "breakup" ended with death and imo it was never going to end any other way (I have a lot of feelings about how jgy is doomed from the start) but even in aus where survival is an option I barely ever see their full potential realized. The fact that there is this heartbreaking gap that is between them now, and yet that, despite it all, they can't stop loving each other. When you have drama this good, why is the conflict relegated to outside threats and we end up with little to no exploration of internal strife, of the fact that these guys have been living a domestic lie for a decade (I cannot stress this enough, the amount of parralels between xiyao and jgy's marriage to qin su are staggering.)
And let me be clear I will NEVER begrudge anyone their hurt/comfort and wanting their faves who are denied happiness and peace at every turn to find it. god knows I need that sometimes. Or even the less healthy but so emotionally devastating fics where the caring isn't good, and it doesn't fix anything- might only make things worse, actually- and xichen ends up recreating his father's fate. I love all of those things. But. Man. This divorce was over 11 years in the making it should take AT LEAST that long to resolve. What do you do when the person you trusted the most lied to you for years? What do you do when the only person who's ever believed in you loses that faith so completely they'd hurt you over a lie without hesitation? I need me some xiyao who try to get over each other for 20 years and fail. I need them to meet after not seeing each other for years and have it hurt like no time has passed at all. I need arguments where no one raises their voice but that feel like a screaming match anyway. Do you see my vision?? Do you see what we could have?
(if fics that do exacly this are out there, recs are of course welcome)
#mdzs#meng yao#xiyao#lan xichen#jin guangyao#rs: i wish it could've been you#this might make some people really mad#at the idea that jgy has any right to have grievances with xichen but uh...#i'm not interested in arguing with jgy antis. go scream at a wall#or a different camp who DO like xiyao but who are like 'but xichen was lied to jgy wouldn't blame him'#the fact that it was a lie makes it WORSE you guys know that right?#some of you have never been the proverbial boy who cried wolf#and had people assume everything you say is a lie because you've lied in the past#and good for you! You SHOULD be honest with those you love i'm very happy for all of you#but also. lmao. you have no idea how that feels.#i have read aus where they break up and get back together of course#but i always end up feeling like people see the conflict as an obstacle? a thing to get past so we can get them back together#and not.. you know. the most interesting part. the selling point#I think in a slightly lower stakes au xiyao should wait a few years get back together because they love each other and then break up AGAIN#when they realize that the old relationship they had with that easy trust is gone forever. love isn't enough to bring that back#you can build something new. including a new kind of trust just as potent. but that old easy kind is gone.#and i think they should try to get it back because it was the best thing they ever had#and get fucked up about it when they realize they can't#and it should take them well over a decade to mourn it until they're ready to let it go and try to make something new of it#PLEASE let me talk about the xichen qin su parralels please let me talk about how rusong is nmj-coded#not in personality but in the function he has narratively as someone that can never stop haunting jgy.#the fact that nmj's death and rusong's birth were likely extremely close to each other timeline wise LET'S TALK ABOUT IT
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sheās so proud of herselfā¦
#forgot all about this bonus till i rearranged my merch drawer earlier lmao#[āsighs and adds to the chizuchan raws folder]#[pokes ani.mate] still no vol 2 bonuses yetā¦?#i hope thereās a wholesome and/or funny vol 2 bonus to offset chapters 6 and 7 (delusional)#i dont think iāll tl the bonus manga (if thereās actually one) for vol 2 thoughhhh. im still soooooo far behind on idolsengen#in fact im so far behind that i organised my merch drawer as a means of procrastinationā¦ s i g h s#though it seems that i have more mona merch than i thought lmao.#kinda thinking of tling the volume summaries of idolsengen thoughhhh. it never crossed my mind to do it till now tbh#(the summary bits at the back of the volumes arent included with the ebook)#but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ani.mate bonus announcements w h e n#theyāre p consistent with bonuses soā¦#all of the artistās previous hw manga vols ([redacted] manga included) came with bonus manga soā¦#a n d all 5 of idolsengenās vols came with a bonus shikishi (s o b s) sooooooooo#no clue about the dolce manga thoughā¦ that ended eons agoā¦#but i gotta sayā¦ the dolce manga is kinda similar in vibes to the chizuchan manga#itās all fun and games for a while then suddenly *the plot* hits you like a truck#especially with the fuuma-centric chapters at the end of each volumeā¦ the shirayuki siblingsā¦ man.#fuuma crossdressing to look like his sister to make her dream of becoming an idol come true (if only in appearance)ā¦#shiina being so loved by everyone around her and *so* close to becoming an idol herselfā¦#and fuuma having to face the reality that he may not get to help his sister live out her idol dreams in the way he wants to for much longerā¦#ā¦yeah. i miss dolceā¦#ā¦no clue where im going with this bc this was supposed to be about chizuchan manga bonuses but hereās where weāve ended up ig#anyways read the dolce manga. itās good for your skin (lies)#(jk but the *plot* part of the dolce manga plot is heartbreaking. everyone should read it)#chizuchan manga š¤ idolsengen š¤ dolce manga: hw idol series manga with a hard-hitting *plot* underneath the frills and ribbons and silliness#(though granted idolsengen is usually only silly in the bonus chapters. thank you moge for your hard work)#o k thatās enough thinking for 1 day; back to sobbing over the shirayuki sibs
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