#WHERE ARE THE PAPERS ABOUT THIS SHIT
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Good idea to make a seminar about Cotta, telling everybody to take a look at the Cotta biography which we do have in our university library and then expect everyone to hold presentations about Cotta.
Like sir, we have, in the whole university, 5 editions of that book. We also have bachelor students who maybe need that book, too. Literature students. Like, this book is incredible important for this seminar and none of us will buy it. And the one edition in the main library is already taken and reserved until February. As is the latest edition from 2017. We have two editions left. And since I will need that book for another seminar's presentation in January, too, you can expect that their will be only two editions left and since we have to write research papers, too... Well... I already see myself scan the whole book just in case, because I can't hold onto it that long without the library coming after me.
#prof hasn't thought this through#I am already pissed bc someone has the mail exchange between cotta and goethe which I really need for my presentation#prof had to scan half his book so that I could look at it and find like 2-3 letters that I can use#he also wants us to look for the texts ourselves#like dude#try to find one useful text about the reprints and vienna editions of Faust that is not about statistics or the publisher's bibliography#and I thought finding material about the LGBTQ+ community in Japan was difficult#but this topic#and I am in Germany#this is about shit that happened IN Germany#WHERE ARE THE PAPERS ABOUT THIS SHIT#what do I have to type into the search bar to find this???????#like not even google scholar can find shit about it?????#it was easier to find Mori Ougai's whole biography and works in German than anything about the Faust editions during Goethe's lifetime?????#I even found one paper about Mori's Faust edition by complete coincidence#but Faust in Austria????? Nada#akikos shitpost#late night shitposting#I had to rant about this somewhere#university stuff
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i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.
BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.
Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.
Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.
But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.
Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.
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They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.
It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.
If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)
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Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.
They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.
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Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.
One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.
Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.
And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.
She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.
She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?
And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.
(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)
The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.
Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul#its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT#this is the gist of it#i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper#and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it.#ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage#bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat#ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina#the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms#because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley.#and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore#like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and#haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where#siren type shit fr fr#look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat#on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth#he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason#and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina#the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays#a lullaby.#look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink#hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays.#hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly
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i think sacred music in the kryn dynasty would be very cyclical and repetitive in form to symbolize the idea that life is a continuous thing (at least those who are consecuted right right) and is a cycle across lifetimes and yeah
#court rambambles#cr#critical role#kryn dynasty#finishing up my religions class and i've used the last two topics to research non-western music because hi music major western music gets#super fucking boring. and i've been having a Blast listening to classical indian music. this shit slaps. i fucking LOVE music with drones.#but since this is a religions class obvs im researching in in the context of religion so I'm doing music in hinduism and this was something#brought up in like 2 sentences not even in a paper im using a a ref and it reminded me a lot of this and idk yknow. very neat.#ive been thinking a lot about fantasy music as well. okay like using western music and medieval western European music as inspo is fine and#dandy.#but like goodness guys there are so many other amazing cultures and styles and genres of music and subdivisions within cultures and i just.#im so amazed by them. give me that microtonal music give me these awesome instruments give me these great scales and rhythms and just. yes#if anyone comes from some non western European cultures and has neat traditional/folk/classical/whatever music and they want to share it my#dms and ask boxes are/should be open and stuff. please i just like learning about music across the world#*non western-european bc yknow eastern europe has unique things too#FOLLOW ME FOR MORE POSTS LIKE THIS WHERE I RAMBLE ABOUT MUSIC AND MY INTERESTS. SOMETIMES I EVEN POST ART AND TALK ABOUT MY OCS WHOAAAA#please talk to me about music i just really like music. it's not like im majoring in it at all. is it a smart idea in this economy with adh#wellll yknow
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I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist
#this ^ isn't directed at any post in particular but instead a lot of comments ive seen. but now im gonna talk about other posts down here#and prefacing anything i put in the tags here with DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH#but the biggest post ive seen going around rn about moo deng being mistreated and the general quality of khao kheow zoo is questionable#claims that the enclosure is mostly concrete seem to be false from all the sources i can find#the concrete section looks like its specifically around the feeding area which fits zoo care guidelines which specify that the feeding area#be a surface that can be easily cleaned separate from the substrate and is a surface present in other zoos#the lack of deep water also seems to be purposeful? older videos of the same enclosure show deeper water areas#and looking back through the news every baby pygmy hippo announcement from every zoo i could find mentioned periods where the baby had to#learn to swim and was slowly introduced from shallow water to deeper water as time passed#this was also corroborated by fowlers zoo and wild animal medicine volume 8 which suggests keeping the mother dry and then slowly#introducing water as the baby grows as a potential best practice#damn im treating this like a paper now. anyway the negatives#there are absolutely things that strike me as bad eg. public access to the hippos and the way the keeper interacts with them#for the keeper stuff in particular i'd really like to see input from someone who has experience as a zookeeper with pygmy hippos#the public access is something that i def think the zoo could improve on and even older footage from years ago shows people sticking like#selfie sticks and shit off the side of the railings and right into the hippos faces#however again the zoo seems to be making efforts to curb visitor behavior which is tough when you go from having 800 visitors a day to#4000+ and you can't remodel the whole exhibit right then and there#all this to say! just do your own research and take somewhat inflammatory comments on the internet with a grain of salt#also just to make it clear im not making any sweeping statements on khao kheow or the treatment of moo deng im just summarizing what i foun#based on what's being said in the most popular post on the subject ive seen.#for the potential like three people who will read all this hi :) hope ur having a nice day
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I can't imagine being anywhere near as insane as Trump supporters because my dad told me that he, earlier, drove past a guy putting a "Harris Walz 2024" sign outside his house and decided to yell out at him "TRUMP 2024 YOU COCKSUCKER" and flip him off. And he laughed when he told me because he thinks that yelling at a man (emphasized man because he thinks men should be "better" than women, and "better" would be voting for Trump in this case) who is voting for a "whore who slept her way to the top" (his exact words) is funny. And expected me to laugh with him. And got angry when I didn't and just stared at him in disbelief. Even though he already knows that I don't like Donald Trump. These people fully expect others to find their weird ass derogatory words and behavior FUNNY. Donald Trump is leading a cult of old people who he brainwashed into being delusional with him.
#vote blue#harris walz 2024#kamala harris#tim walz#i know some fucker is gonna be here saying like “it's true i was the tree”#i didn't see this with my own two eyes but i've lived 21 years with my dad and i HAVE seen him do shit like this#but it was mostly just honking at random people on the sidewalk or yelling “WHERE Y'GOING” in their direction out the window#like it's still embarrassing and weird but not derogatory#and since being retired and having nothing to do all day except watch trump and more trump and more trump he has gotten worse#not a day has gone by in the last four months where he hasn't insulted joe biden or kamala harris#and every single time he has expected my brother and i to laugh at his insult even though he knows that we don't like trump#it's so depressing watching your own parent become a worse person#he was already one of the insufferable republicans before trump and now he's a trump republican which is even worse#and yk what's even worse it's that my mom has no spine against men so if her boyfriend asks for her to vote trump she'll be like “okay”#she's not a republican she just doesn't care because she thinks voting doesn't matter#my aunt who i have always loved so much now calls up my dad to talk about trump with him and i never heard her swear until this year#my other aunt makes talking about trump her entire personality when she has a gambling addiction she should be treating instead#my dad's side is a bunch of trump supporters and my mom's side just doesn't give a fuck#and i can't vote because i'll get kicked out of here faster than the speed of light the second my dad sees#the paper in the mail saying that my voter history has been updated#even if it's not public who i voted for because he knows that whoever i vote for will never be trump#sorry#tag vent#this sucks#please vote
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The thing that sucks about knowing the context for a popular ship redraw meme or incorrect quote is watching people be so so incorrect about it and just having to sit there, gripping your thigh, reminding yourself of your values
My personal problem is the quote from "Everything Everywhere All At Once": "In another life I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you"
Because every day EVERY DAY even with ships I love, I watch people use it as a "Oh my god isn't it so tragic that these two characters are forced to suffer the horrors or to be ripped apart when in their heart of hearts they want to be living domestically and doing laundry and taxes?"
And I have to sit there and think "No no you don't get it! That line wasn't the tragedy of the characters not having a better life where they can just be together. It's a different kind of tragedy! The main character didn't like her normal Chinese immigrant life of running a laundromat and dealing with taxes and her family in the USA. Once she learned about all of these different worlds, she began to feel even more like her current life was one that she didn't want. In fact, this life where the guy said that popular line was one where she chose not to go to the USA with him to build a life and love together and became a famous actress instead. She has been thinking about how her husband truly held her down and stifled her life. How if she hadn’t chosen him she wouldn't have had to deal with him and her life would be better and more exciting. And so she's talking to this alternate version of her husband who never became her husband, and she starts making a case for why this is the best outcome. After all, who would want to live in a laundromat and do taxes when she can be a movie star and have anyone she wants? And this is when he tells her that that life that she rejects, that she feels is lowly and one that no one would want, is something that he wants. He doesn't care that she's a famous actress now, he would have loved to just live a simple life with her, even if it was hard and taxing. And this moment in the movie is so so many things (things I'm not even doing justice to here), but it is also a major moment that highlights the disparity in these two characters (even if one isn't her og husband) and their desires.
The main character feels trapped in her life and that she never lived up to her potential. Her husband truly would want to be with her simply because of the bits where it isn't exciting. Even if they're poor and suffer hardship and do things considered simple and lowly, he would still like that life with her.
So yes every time I see this meme my brain screams "get out of here with your blorbos in an au who tragically can't live normally and domestically. Bring in your blorbos who love(d) each other and are messy and are on the verge of divorce and want different things in life, who have to make a choice in what to do about it. Give me your "person who feels trapped in this small life and wanted bigger and better things who lowkey resents the other who is just supporting them" x "person who understands this life isn't always easy or glamorous but is glad that they get to do it every day with this person, who would choose a life of love with them no matter what"
#i just be ramblin#god that movie is so good#after that scene?#in one of the timelines the mc let's go and starts smashing shit before signing the divorce papers. and her (now ex) husband begs for her to#be let off easy and claims that this only happened because he sprung divorce on her. so she sits outside and smokes with the lady with the#irs who went through the same thing#there's a universe where her and the irs lady just live happily and intimately and simply out of love. and happen to have hot dog fingers#in her original universe she goes back to the appointment with her family and the irs lady to fix their taxes. she stays with her current#life but she understands her husband and her daughter much better now#She gets to live out all feelings of anger and anguish and catharsis and potential choices for this situation in different universes#and while this version of her chooses to stay with the life she has now‚ she is still never punished in the universe where she chooses to#divorce her husband and change her life#The story doesn't present a sole solution to the dissonance between her and her husband's wants out of life#She just is able to learn things about herself from this journey and improve as a person due to her experiences with different versions of#her husband and daughter#the narrative gives her all the tools and lessons she needs to make her choices and recognizes that there is no sole good choice#except perhaps the idea that we have to choose to be kind to people in this world#anyways sorry for going off about this#this movie is amazing and makes me feel things and it gets me when people misrepresent such a painful line from that movie as being about#the tragedy of not being able to have a simple life with the one you love
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profs will set the due date for the final as april 24 and then STILL NOT HAVE THE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT UP TO SUBMIT THE PAPER BY 11PM ON APRIL TWENTY FUCKING THIRD
#ALEC. BESTIE. PLEASE. I AM BARELY PASSING YOUR CLASS AS IT IS I NEED YOU TO WORK WITH ME HERE#i feel the need to explain the level of bullshit that has been going on with this particular final actually because holy shit.#he first told us about it about 3 weeks ago which. fine. but all he said was 'you will have to pick a topic and write a paper'#like nothing about what the topic should relate to how the paper should be organized word count etc. literally nothing#radio silence for 2 weeks. we all forgot about it. then out of the blue 'btw your papers are due in a week lol!'#so we all scramble to figure out what the hell the assignment actually is#come to find out he never actually posted the assignment brief on canvas as an assignment. the only way we can access it is via a pdf#linked in ANOTHER UNRELATED ASSIGNMENT.#the project brief in question describes several in-class activities we straight up have not done.#no one actually knows if it's really due tomorrow or next week because he keeps pushing shit back and DOESNT ANSWER EMAILS#but the date on the syllabus is the 24th. and there is still nowhere online where we can submit our papers at all.#jesus fucking christ in heaven#personal#he is going to be getting a. shall we say INTERESTING professor review from me. lmao
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Frye Fest - Final Countdown
<- Previous - Part 19 - Next ->
[19/20]
♡Back when it was just us♡
👋Team Paper👋
Splatfest World Premier 27-08-2022
[Master Post - coming soon]
#aaaaand just one more left to go!#what was a truly terrible mistake of mine became quite poetic in the end#in several ways actually#1. Being that. After all these events we go back to the beginning one last time to where it all began#when it was just the three of them#for one last time before the big event#2. This just further solidifies my pick of team future#Why? Well#because I messed up big time in the past and only realised in the middle of the event and freaked out about it.#But I had to keep going#I came this far why give up now? So I pushed forward and here I am!#Also the origamis being shiver and fry was completely unintentional on my part#😭😭#I just thought it be funny to also add one on her head and then I realised while coloring that I could make it symbolise them 😭#Anyway#looking back with the first drawing.... HOW DID I IMPROVE SO MUCH IN 19 DAYS WHAY?!?!?! HOLY SHIT THE DIFERRENCE#frye fest#frye onaga#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatfest#splatfest world premiere#team paper#rock vs paper vs scissors#my art#saltys art
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Today I created my own holiday called “handle your shit saturday” in which I had to actually deal with all the shit piling up in my house and actually do the projects I’d been planning and it was so satisfying and made me feel SO much better. If you’re struggling rn, I highly recommend, even if you just handle a small chunk of your shit, giving it a name made it feel all official and whatnot and somehow let me trick myself into doing things I’ve been putting off since November.
#I re-sealed around the basement window where I think ants were getting in last summer#I filed my taxes#I put away the candles in the windows from Christmas (all the other Christmas shit got put away a while ago)#I put away all the snowman decor#there’s still more to do:#I need to pay my water bill#i need to scan the QR code that came with the water bill to see if I have to test something about my pipes#I need to re-seal around the kitchen counters and also the kitchen window#(the other likely entry point for the ants)#I need to replace the picture frame I broke mopping last weekend (don’t ask I don’t know how I did it either)#but getting rid of the piles of paper for my taxes for example feels so good
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top 5 fandoms?
oooh, okay! so my top 5 to hang out in (which is not necessarily the same as stuff I draw fan art of, but ones where I’ve gone to group meet ups at conventions, attended watch parties/events for, actively seek out the tags for on twitter, etc) are probably
-Kamen Rider
-the bitter Sam fan side of SPN
-DMBJ
-Pacific Rim
-Guardian/Zhen Hun or the Yakuza franchise
#I avoid a lot of fandom spaces now because the vibe isn’t super fun and I dislike the elevator pitch trend people have adopted#when talking abt media like I fully did not give a shit about dunmeshi until a friend convinced me to read it bc the way everyone#on twitter talked about it was boring as hell so I’m not interested in going beyond talking to two friends abt it#and generally keep it down to the tried and true system of ‘find five friends and chat about it offline’ method of enjoying things#but the above five things are things where I actively go out to engage with or talk to other people about#tbh fan art is a lot like shaking loose thoughts from my brain and forcing them to take a coherent shape on paper#ANYWAY I think the JSAMN fandom might replace one of these at some point. everyone is very nice 🥺
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Why does the Romanian government want to make my life specifically as hard as possible
#this is about legal gender marker and name change#starting to come to terms with the fact that I'll only be able to do this after graduating#bc while I'm still actively studying Russian it really flows together with Romanian#to the point where I can understand anything without issue but if I try to speak#like half of it comes out in Russian#I can't be doing a whole ass court case like that fhsjfhsjhfjd#I feel super embarrassed about it but I guess that's not that unusual of a multilingual struggle#anyway this was prompted by me looking through the process of the name and gender marker change#in honour of being back home for a while#and as a result being absolutely flabbergasted by all that shit they need from me#medical papers sure diagnoses etc etc WITNESSES???? And it can't be family???#thinking about which friends to take to court with me so I can change my stupid gender marker and stupid first name#personal#trans stuff#if anyone has experience or info pls hit me up
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im doing a drawtober of characters i think of through the day and will post in batches. day 3 solo because its already been derailed and todays blorbo is immunochemistry.
#admin draws#self#not fanart#drawtober#shoutout to two group chats and one server tormented by me reading a research paper and going jesus christ. whatthefuck#Anyways i have some Opinions about how booster doses and vaccines were handled by companies that had all the money in the world#to do this shit right and figure out the lowest effective dose that grants all the benefits but instead went HMMM NOPE ACTUALLY#LETS GO ALL IN AND GIVE BIG DOSES EVERY TIME. JUST TO MAKE SURE IT WORKS#and guess what. whguess what happened dear reader.#if you guessed immune non-response to covid in shots 3 onwards then congratulations! you win a cookie. we are fucked tho.#IgG4 being the centerpiece of this shitshow has one upside and that is that its a very very interesting antibody subtype#i look forward to learning more about it. i wonder about its genesis and role. like ACTUAL role in a healthy body rather than just#pathological processes. where it is prominent in some other vaccines (again only in too large dosages mind you) cancer and autoimmune stuff#anways i love vaccines. vaccines rule. but pharma industry doesnt and their lack of caution in not recognizing that you can have too much#of a good thing and then it backfires and leaves you worse off than EVER. doesnt rule. it makes it quite bad actually#anyways classes started again. irregularly scheduled reminder that im a bioscience student LMAO
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(frantically googling) where can i special order drawing paper thats at least 6 feet in both directions
#what do i need big paper for? great question#where will i store a piece of paper thats at least 6 feet tall? EVEN BETTER QUESTION#upper level studio arts classes will have you saying shit like 'yeah im engaging with scale this semester'#'yeah ive been really into the relationship between the body and the surface and i think large scale is the way to go about it'#ASK ME ABOUT MY DRAWING PRACTICE PLEASE
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i really dont understand studying at all like genuinely i don't know what it is . i know about "taking notes" and "reading the textbook" and that's it . quizlet doesn't do shit for me because i don't know what to. do. with the cards. look at them ? am i supposed to just look at them . No one bothered teaching me actual skills bc i got good grades when i was 8 and now i am so hopelessly lost . why did no one think to teach me this for when stuff got harder than four plus three
#text#ive never understood flashcards . like what to do with them. how is that any more different or helpful than just like... writing a list on#paper of vocab terms or whatever#and like conceptually i know 'learning' is like. not only committing things to memory but also being able to engage with it which#is why teachers loveeeee group discussions and essays. but like. you read the text and then you go to class and Discuss but how do you#Learn what the text is saying like how do you . put it in your brain and udnerstand and remember it .#i think im missing something very simple because everyone else in the world seems to understand this fine#like where does the part where you go oh! i understand this and can explain it in my own words. Happen#how do u force it to happen if its not something ur autistic about#Like the only example i can think of rn of this is when i hyperfixated on hpa axis dysregulation + trauma a couple weeks ago#so i was learning stuff about it for Fun and not for school so no comprehension tests or notes or anything#and basically i'd just put on a webinar while i sorted seaglass or worked on sewing or whaever#and i can explain the concept fine. ur brain controls ur body so if it gets too scared ur body loses its shit basically.#but i dont remember most of the words. i still can barely define neurotransmitter#i can apply this to my own life but i confuse the hippocampus and the frontal lobe and the amygdala etc#and i couldnt point out any of them on a diagram#i dont get it . like i know a lot and simultaneously nothing at all abt it#how am i supposedto be remembering words and numbers AND understanding the concepts AND im supposed to do that between#reading the book and engaging in thoughtful conversation with my peers i dont understand
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Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.
My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper
#lee rambles#I gotta fix the metal bits on the front#they keep coming out of place and drooping down. maybe some hot glue'll work since i don't want to melt the styrofoam under the paper#I went as Chell that year#with a shitty handmade Aperature Science shirt lol#Also as a sidenote since i'm already talking a bunch in the tags#I have no idea if we're actually going to be able to afford to move or not#so we're kinda thinking about staying where we are and seeing how things go over the next few years#i know it's in my dad's will to sell but with how expensive rentals are i doubt we'd be able to afford 2k+ a month on top of our other bills#I just hope my Uncle doesn't give us too much shit about it. We didn't get much from the life insurances he had#definitely not enough to live on for long on its own#but 800 a month for the house is a lot more doable than 2000#we don't want to end up having to kill ourselves working just to make ends meet. That's probably what would happen if we moved#i dunno#just... thinking a lot about the future. I honestly hope we stay#It'd get rid of a lot of stress if we stayed. We'd still get rid of a bunch of things but... it'd be easier.#We weren't even really allowed to grieve. once the funeral was over we just had to start packing our lives away.#i'm a little bitter about it really. They've gotten to grieve and be away from the situation. We've had to be there the whole time.#We might've all been there the day he passed but they weren't there for his bad days. They weren't there helplessly watching as he slowly#got more and more tired. and sick. and depressed.#I don't know what we're going to do.#I didn't mean for this to turn all venty. sorry about that if you've read this far
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Thinking about when I told my roommate I hyperfixate on Mario a lot and he was like "I didn't even know you COULD hyperfixate on Mario until I met you" fkdnfnfndndndnfjfekef
#A FAIR ASSUMPTION#he also didn't know there were rpgs until he met me which is just so interesting to me because yes again a fair assumption but like#you ever just get hit with the fact that someone else grew up with a very different perception of a series than you djdhdbdbdbsnsf#i grew up with Super Paper Mario and Bowser's Inside Story djdjdjsbsnsfjsg#i was always disappointed by mario games that weren't RPGs as a kid cause i wanted a story like Super Paper Mario#i remember playing BiS for the first time and feeling SO much joy because i had finally found another story heavy mario game#after likr accepting spm was the only one (not true but i was 4 when SPM came out and 6 when BiS came out cjdjdndbbdg)#It's so fucking funny but to this DAY i still get so excited over Paper Mario trailers i would become PLASTERED to the TV#whenever a new Paper Mario commercial would come out cause that's how i found out about that shit chdbxbxbsf#same with M&L i remember wantinf a 3DS SPECIFICALLY for Sticker Star and Dream Team fncbcdhshxjsfv#anyways ramble over. shout out to my other roommate when i mentioned the M&L games to him he went#“That reminds me of that one i played on my DS as a kid where Mario & Luigi were babies and fighting aliens” based PiT enjoyer#OH MY GOD WAIT WHEN PAPER JAM WAS ANNOUNCED I WAS FLOORED BTW
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