#WHEN I SAY I STAN OLD MEN I AM NOT TALKING THROWS OUT HIS BACK IM TALKING HIP REPLACEMENT ‼️
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not-another-robin · 2 years ago
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Next up on my quest to ship Alfred with every old person in the dc canon: Arnold Wesker no I'm not joking
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zephrunsimperium · 2 years ago
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really solid analysis of ford's reluctance to say "thank you" to stan! just want to throw my own two cents on top of all the great points you made already– i think some of it also came from a place of stubbornness to not give stan what he wanted. hell, had stan not made such a big deal about it right out the gate, ford might've even thanked him of his own volition (or maybe not– he was pretty upset about being dragged back right when he could've defeated bill/the portal even being reactivated, after all) but ford spent the greater part of 40 years believing stan was selfish and only did things that benefitted himself no matter who he hurt in the process, and for stan to (in ford's eyes) disregard all of his warnings and drag him back just to hold it over his head and demand gratitude for saving him from a situation he never would've been in had he not contacted stan in the first place? i think that only drove that idea further home. plus, you know, stubborn bitter old men be stubborn and bitter 🤷‍♀️
Oh, absolutely. That’s what happens when you don’t talk about your emotions; the hurt doesn’t just go away if you pretend it doesn’t exist. Allow me to go on a tangent: (You have woken a beast, Anon)
Anger. God, do I have a lot to say about anger. It is an emotion I am acutely familiar with. But the thing about anger is that it is a secondary emotion; a reaction, and quite often a cover up for fear or hurt. Because anger is an emotion that makes us feel powerful and can give us a shadow of the control we crave.
With that in mind, I bring your attention to toxic masculinity. How often do we see a male character undergo a tragedy or loss of some sort and react with anger or even physical violence? So often, reactions like this are praised by the narrative; the death or tragedy was what pushed the hero to defeat the villain! But the fact is, situations like that are not all that common and resorting to anger and violence after tragedy is never healthy.
So how does this relate to Ford? Well, I have serious doubts that the brand of masculinity he was exposed to growing up was particularly healthy. He spends most of his life heavy with bitterness and anger. Because being bitter and angry hurts so much less than actually cleaning out the wound.
(If discussion about toxic masculinity and masculinity in media interests you, I highly recommend you check out Pop Culture Detective on YouTube. Here is a particularly good video of his: https://youtu.be/kGxW2toAvzc)
It’s okay to be angry. I would even say that anger is often healthy. But it’s definitely not healthy to bathe in your anger and let it consume you.
Moving on though… I do hesitate to label Stan as bitter. Ford, definitely, no doubt about it. But Stan… That man answered a two word plea without any hesitation after no contact for a decade, ready and willing to forgive, forget, and move on. He spent thirty years working his ass off to get Ford back and when he does come back, Stan seems overjoyed and relieved. (Until Ford punches him, that is.) I don’t think those are the actions of a bitter man. Of course, like Ford, Stan has decades of emotions he needs to work through, but I absolutely think he did a better job of handling things than Ford.
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diagonal-queen · 1 year ago
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thungo thursday moment ahaha
they didn't animate akutagawa's final words properly DAMNIT bones
atsushi tired and panting kinda.........hear me out......also ango....wyd here babygirl..........
okay BRAMS ABOUT TO APPEAR GUYS OMG
OMG HE'S SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND RELATABLE AS ALWAYS OMG BONES YOU'VE ACTUALLY ANIMATED A CHARACTER RIGHT I'M SO PROUD OF YOU IT *ONLY* TOOK FIVE SEASONS <333
no okay i SWEAR i've heard his voice somewhere before. i've heard this voice before where have i heard it
OH FUCK HE WAS NANAMI AND OVERHAUL no fuckin wonder i know the voice
OMG HIGUCHI MY QUEEN I MISSED YOU <3333
the vampire noises eughhhhhh it sounds like a cat gagging on something poor higuchi pls dont be dead
hirotsu protecting tachihara we stan a king with good taste <3 underrated old man
jouno is to tecchou like atsushi is to akutagawa, in the sense that they'll find any reason at all to insult them T-T especially when there's something dangerous happening that could kill them at any moment. what i'm saying is gay behaviour
not like the silly teruko and tachihara moment with the evil ominous music in the background T-T
also tachihara getting the pretty treatment this episode fr. maybe bones felt bad because it was his last (IM SORRY HELP)
NOT FUKUCHI JUST CLOSING THE COFFIN WHILE BRAM ASKS FOR A RADIO LMAOOOOOOOO BRO'S HAD ENOUGH
hey uhh, hey fukuchi??? this is a pretty fucking gay way of thinking about your ex 'friend'
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the cherry blossoms and everything T-T my man is WHIPPED (same fukuchi. i disagree with many of your views on the world but i agree with you that fukuzawa is love fukuzawa is life)
mori also getting the pretty treatment tf?????
NOT THE AGENCY SNITCHING TO MORI ABOUT TACHIHARA EFBHKJQGHKHDSKFHKDSHGHHDSFCJHKGHKSGHDGBSD
'i pretended to join the mafia and faked emotions' except the romantic ones you had for gin though. except for those tachiboy
its so funny how fukuchi is explaining his plan to tachihara and bram is just there. like he's just laying there waiting to be picked up lmaooo
him putting his bandaid back on :') ALSO IS HE GONNA SAY THE 'i'm not a hunting dog i'm the port mafia's tachihara michizou' line (or whatever the fuck it was i dont remember word for word) OR DID THEY SKIP THAT BECAUSE IF THEY SKIPPED THAT ICONIC LINE I AM GONNA THROW HANDS
if only tachihara hurried the fuck up with his ability everything would have been good again (im fucking JOKING its a joke holy shit calm down)
OMG THEY DIDN'T SKIP THE PORT MAFIA LINE LESGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TACHIHARA MICHIZOU OF THE PORT FUCKING MAFA
aww hell nah they took his fucking eyes smh can't have shit in detroit
'tachihara you are no angel' you're wrong actually tachihara is perfect and he's done nothing wrong in his life ever i actually know that its canon because I Am God
imagine a yosano and tachihara reconciliation moment where she heals his eyes and they have a long talk about his brother and all that and they become friends that would be the most adorable fucking thing ever omg i need this
'i care for my men tachihara' you just sliced his eyes out fukuchi
omg hopefully we'll get to see agatha soon enough that would be cool i want more british tea lady
and thats it for this week folks. i wish i could have been more enthusiastic about this episode but i'm so unbelievably tired and i just wanna go eepy have a good day guys <3
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arcadianambivalence · 1 year ago
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World on Fire, Season 2, Episode 3 - What is the Value of a Life?
Directed by: Meenu Gaur
Written by: Matt Jones
The Egyptian Storyline
Harry and Lois
Last episode, Stan had a moment where he asked Harry if they were in Egypt or Libya. Well, now we’re in Libya–and on the retreat back towards Tobruk, a city near the border with Egypt and the Mediterranean. A city that would switch hands repeatedly for the first half of the war. In the past, characters have encountered sandstorms, landmines, and Italian troops. Now they have to get past the arrival of German forces (Rommel is even name dropped because, let’s face it, he’s the only major German officer most of the audience recognizes). This means it must be around March 1941, so a few months have passed between the end of last episode and the beginning of this one.
In those months, Lois’s mental and physical health seems to have improved with the Auxiliary Territorial Service. Stationed in Cairo as an ambulance driver, she is throwing herself into her work, quickly fixing the engine and getting along with her coworker (whom the PBS transcript calls Pearl). But still, she’s throwing herself into work and brushing off the chance to eat anything. Food isn’t normally talked about in this show, so I’m concerned whether this is a sign of something else going on. Maybe she’s not doing as well as she looks. But this newfound resolve is put to the test when she finds Harry’s name among the papers of incoming wounded. (What are the odds, am I right?)
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While Lois has improved, Harry certainly hasn’t. That old wound in his leg that reopened last episode? It’s infected. (Just like I said it would be. Listen to the medic, Harry!) His papers say diphtheria. At the beginning of the episode, Harry had time to help a wounded soldier into a medic tent before collapsing himself. The two men were sent to a hospital in Cairo, where they’d be further from the front, to recuperate. We don’t see any of Harry’s treatment, but it presumably helps because the next thing we know, he’s awake enough to recognize Lois, who can’t help but catch a peek at him. 
They have a sweet talk, where Lois confesses that yes, she spoke with such finality the last time she saw Harry because she wanted it to be the last time she saw anyone. But now she’s better, she rushes to add. (And while I’m glad that at least one character with PTSD is recovering, I’m selfish and want to see characters go through that journey on screen! Could we at least have a scene of her arriving in Cairo and getting the light back in her eyes?) 
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Kasia, Jan, and Grzegorz are fine too, Lois says. It was Kasia who convinced her to fight.
Lois: That's the difference between us, Harry. You've got somebody to miss. Somebody waiting. Harry: In that case, maybe you and I could swap uniforms, and I could take the next ship out, disguised as you. Lois: Nice try, but you haven't got the legs for it.
He takes everything very well, and he’s already a very empathetic guy, but one has to wonder how much of his dazed speech is from morphine. She takes his hand. He talks about how they’re part of each other because they had a kid together. You can’t change the past, ya di ya-da. He brings up Kasia, and Lois drops his hand. And we’re back on this again. 
Lois, you were doing so well! Let him go so you can grow as a character!
But she makes a point to Harry that he shouldn’t be fighting the war because he thinks it’s some chivalrous or idealist thing for protecting women and children and whatever. He should have his own reason to fight, just as Lois does, just as Kasia does, just as everyone else. That leaves him with something to ponder, something that goes back to Rajib’s theme. What is he doing here?
The British Storyline - Part 1
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Kasia and James
Similarly, Kasia is struggling to know who she can be if she isn’t a soldier/member of the resistance. As members of the audience, we know that something is up with James (is this is first or last name?), that her suspicion of him is worthwhile, but take that away and you have another character experiencing symptoms of PTSD:
Feelings of detachment, even from family and friends (her feelings towards Harry, never leaving the Chase residence, apparently)
Numbness, trouble accepting positive emotions (the happiest we’ve seen her this season is embracing her brothers and joking about war with Jan)
Vigilance and preparing for danger (patrolling the house at night and overhearing James on the radio, sneaking into his bedroom to dig through his suitcase)
Difficulty sleeping (Sir James knows Kasia has nightmares)
Then there are signs of Complex PTSD:
Sense of shame, guilt, and/or worthlessness (calling herself the woman Harry “got stuck with”)
Difficulty with regulating emotions (punching the man in episode 1)
Trouble connecting with others (she hasn’t made a single friend despite being in England for months)
Difficulty keeping close relationships (not just with Robina…I mean, that’s obvious, but even with Jan, and her instant distrust of James)
And that’s just from the few scenes we’ve had with her over three episodes!
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But she does correctly deduce that he is part of military intelligence and asks if he can send her back to Poland. He refuses, to her dismay, but there are ways she can contribute from England.
During their first conversation, the Warsaw Ghetto is mentioned. Kasia says she already knows about it, a reference to Tomasz from season 1. Will she ever have someone to confide in again, who won’t turn around and leave like Harry keeps having to do? I wonder if the show will take characters back to Poland for the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising in 1943.
PTSD symptoms from the Mayo Clinic
C-PTSD symptoms from the NHS
Quick notes:
I forgot to mention this last episode, but Jan was reading The Hobbit!
James seems angry Kasia figured out his secret job instead of impressed with her intelligence. There's quite a difference between his terseness with Kasia versus the charm he puts on with Robina.
James diffuses a situation between Robina and Joyce, then says that he hopes he didn’t overstep the mark. The mark, eh? Another dual meaning for intelligence/spycraft.
Robina references the Jarrow March, a major protest against poverty and unemployment in the industrial city of Jarrow in 1936.
James continues to walk the line between flirting and friendliness with Robina, referring to himself as a bachelor and fun uncle. There’s more sexist talk of maternal instincts and Kasia’s apparent lack of them (Vera isn’t her child. Where is this talk about Harry’s paternal instincts? Or your grandmaternal instincts?)
Robina admits that her first marriage wasn’t for love, but out of obligation.
And speaking of obligation over choice….
The German Storyline
Marga finally arrives at the Lebensborn, a palace (?) in Brandenburg with lush gardens and vibrant green grass. A troop of young women exercise on the front lawn as a recording of the Nazi anthem, the Horst Wessel Song, plays. Their movements are slow and graceful, like they’re underwater, like this is a dream. But very quickly, the dream begins to unravel.
The young women are told that they will only be referred to as “Mother,” not by their own names. They have no family, no past, only no future. After a medical exam, they’ll be allowed to congregate with a “partner” for three days before switching. Like a fucked up square dance.
Marga is given an invasive examination by a male gynecologist, and for the first time, she starts to feel used. Next, her skull is measured, her period dates charted, and she is made to sign away any rights to her potential child(ren). I haven’t found a ton of resources on the Lebensborn program, so I can’t say if these inspections would be part of the official program, but all of these things go back to the Nazi obsession with the concept of “race” and “purity.” She’s treated like a datasource (or, more broadly, a source of a future baby) instead of a person. Her personhood, opinions, and feelings do not matter.
Then she confesses that her mother hasn’t explained what sex is to her.
So that would be one of the reasons why she was so keen to do this. Add that to the long list of reasons why mandatory sex education is necessary for young people. Someone (I’m not sure what her job is, but she seems like the equivalent of a headmistress or prison warden) gives her a book on the subject. Marga is disgusted, but she still tries to make the most of the situation. 
She wears her hair down for the first time and dons a flowery pink dress, which she may think makes her look older, but really just emphasizes to the audience how young she is. This is a girl who still signs her name with a flower at the end. She’s a sixteen year old who just learned the details of sex, and now she’s potentially “partnering” with a man in his late 20s to early 30s. At first, she makes eyes with a younger guy (still several years older than her), then the young man is physically eclipsed by a much taller, older officer. Not just any army officer, though. He’s a Sturmbannfuhrer, a paramilitary officer who took part in the invasion of France. It’s like watching a little fish being approached by a shark.
The officer bluntly schedules coitus for 10 o’clock that night, if she agrees. Looking uncomfortable, she accepts. Remember Robina’s conversation with James about consent and obligation? That conversation was there to thematically set up this scene. At 10 o’clock that night, he enters her bedroom. There is no conversation, just the loud silence that falls around every piece of clothing removed, then a cut to Marga holding in her tears until he shuts the door behind him.
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(It's also one of the few scenes that isn't dripping with flags and deathsheads.)
The next morning, they sit together as others look on and whisper about his rank. This time, there are no more girly pinks and floral dresses. She wears a simple blue sweater. While she picks at her food, he gorges on steak and eggs. She stares at his mouth, as if she’s the one being served on a platter. The moment makes me think of that scene in the Return of the King that cuts from a battle to Denethor’s mouth running red with tomato juice.
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Before I move on, I want to take a moment to praise Meenu Gaur’s direction for this episode. When I first saw this episode, I remember thinking “This must be directed by a woman” when the episode focused on Marga’s discomfort before the sex scene. The situation was handled with a kind of discretion and sensitivity I’ve unfortunately come to not expect out of any TV drama’s portrayal of young women and sexuality. (Isn’t it sad that a scene that’s been built up as something horrific and cuts on the implication feels like it’s out of the norm for me? Maybe I need a break from television dramas.) Anyway, Gaur directed episode 5 of this season, so I’m looking forward to that.
The French Storyline
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Luc and Albert
Albert and Luc’s location is finally revealed: Romainville, Paris, which means they are in Fort de Romainville. 
Albert gives Luc the bottle smuggled into the camp last episode. Luc thanks him and warns him that there are no black people left in Paris. Germans have taken away all of them, of Algerian and French nationalities. Albert hides how this news troubles him and instead says he knows how to make himself invisible.
When Luc and Albert drink the liquid in the bottle, they become violently ill and are taken to the camp hospital. Miles, a fellow prisoner, dryly jokes that he’ll miss the lunch. If anyone out there has an aversion to vomit scenes, you’d best close your eyes and put the scene on mute. It goes on for a few minutes.
That night, they climb out of their beds and wait for Henriette’s sister. To pass the time, they talk about what they’ve missed the most about the outside world. Albert reminisces about his flat in Paris, his work at the nightclub, and (in flashback) his relationship with Webster. This last part, he can’t risk saying out loud, even to Luc. Parker Sawyers gives a really moving performance during this scene. His eyes are full of wistfulness and pain as he whispers about a safe and accepting world that has now been wiped from existence.
Perhaps because of this realization, that there is no place for him to truly hide as a black, gay French African man with no identity papers and no real escape waiting for him on the outside, that when the time comes for Albert to follow Luc out the hospital window, he refuses, slamming the window shut.
Henriette
Things are not safe for Henriette, either. A group of German officers confront her about missing supplies, to which she cooly lies about trading morphine for sulfonamide with a local university to treat venereal diseases in the occupying soldiers. Later, they return to the hospital and ransack some of the supply rooms while they look for her. Henriette barely escapes with the help of other members of a resistance cell. At the end of the episode, she wears civilian clothes as she emerges from the back of a truck parked at the edge of a forest.
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On Fort de Romainville
A book about Eddie Chapman (Agent Zigzag) held there
An archive for people from the Channel Islands who were imprisoned during WW2
The British Storyline - Part 2
David
David has moved from Manchester to Kent, the coastal county that’s spitting distance from the French coast. Much of the aerial conflict over Britain occurred in this area (covered by No. 16 Group), as the German planes would cross over the county to bomb London and major air stations like Biggin Hill.
He jokes to a fitter (the guy in charge of preparing the plane) that the reason he’s been transferred to Kent is because “The RAF’s been trying to kill me for years. Every time I survive, they give me a more dangerous job.” His new mission is to fly across the English Channel (nicknamed “the drink” by pilots) and figure out where the Germans are stationed by drawing their fire and recording the location. There are a few things working against him:
Fuel - the plane’s tank has room for only so much fuel for the trip to France and back, so all flights have to be timed around this limitation. Given that he’s going over water, it’s crucial for him to return to English soil before he runs out.
Weather - it’s late winter/early spring, so he has to contend with cloud cover, which would be good for hiding from the Luftwaffe, but on the other hand, it diminishes visibility when flying over the kind of base he’s looking for.
Then there’s the fact that succeeding in his mission means getting shot at. Which he does. 
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Not-so-fun fact: To get out of some aircraft models at the beginning of the war, British pilots would literally have to flip the plane belly-up, open the canopy and drop out of the moving plane before they could pull their parachute.
If the cylinders plane’s engine were shot, the engine would catch fire and quickly spread to the cockpit where the pilot would be sitting. A pilot would have roughly eight seconds after the ignition of the fire to shift the plane into a safe downward angle towards a crash-landing site, undo the release clip tethering him to his seatbelt, and bail out. All while reeling at the fact that he’s going to die in the next breath if he doesn’t.
Luckily for David, the engine isn’t on fire (yet), so he has a little more time to react as the plane hurdles towards a forest in enemy territory. He is able to bail out, but that’s the last of his luck. Even with a parachute slowing his fall, he crashes through treetops, coming to consciousness covered in blood and badly injured. He’s able to clip himself free of the parachute and drag himself behind a bush before a group of German soldiers, drawn by the obvious British plane and bright white parachute, can find him.
What was it Henriette said last episode about rescuing downed British pilots? I think we found someone in need of her expertise…if the Germans don’t capture him first.
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Kent in WW2
Biggin Hill
RAF Ground Crew
Life in the Ground Crew
The Libya Storyline
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Rajib and Stan
I saved the best for last.
While Harry is being whisked away from the medic station, Stan is left behind in the retreat to Tobruk. In a reversal of the first episode this season, only Rajib is around to offer him a ride. With a big grin on his face, Rajib welcomes Stan to the British Indian Army.
Stan soon learns that they aren’t headed toward Tobruk with the rest of the retreating forces, but the Axis-occupied Msus. Their journey is cut short, however, when Germans start to fire on their truck. In the confusion, Stan and Rajib get separated from the rest of the group and run out of bullets to fight back. As Rajib is the highest ranking officer, Stan automatically defers to him in all matters–but not without complaining. When Rajib plans to steal a German truck, he theatrically checks his empty pockets for ammo.
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(Grand Theft Auto: Desert Edition)
What follows is classic buddy comedy stuff: Banter over their next move. Steal a jeep. Get lost in the desert. Play chicken with a German motorcyclist and take him prisoner. Rely on each other to survive without losing themselves. Nearly die of thirst. Just guy things.
To keep their (very young) prisoner of war from trying to escape, Rajib orders the German soldier to remove his uniform as Stan balks. He can’t get far without clothes, Rajib reasons. 
Stan: You're as bad as Harry. Rajib: Because I won't let a man starve? Stan: He's the enemy. Rajib: He's a boy. Letting him live will not alter the outcome of the war. Stan: Like I said, just like Harry. It's not even your war. Rajib: Now you sound like my brother. Stan: Yeah, well, they ain't dropping bombs on Delhi, are they? Rajib: If Britain loses this war, then Germany isn't going to turn India down, is it? They won't need to bomb Delhi. They just need Britain to lose.
Other than the strip down to underwear, Rajib tries to treat the soldier (Bruno) as well as he can. He splits what provisions they can find among the three men and, when Bruno falls out of the jeep, demands that Stan turn the truck around to find him. 
Rajib: Turn the vehicle around. Stan: We are running on fumes as it is. Do you even know how far Tobruk is from here? Rajib: That's an order, Sergeant. Stan: We're at war! With them! Rajib: And if we behave like them, what will we be if we win? Stan: Alive, that's what!
Then Rajib makes Stan confront his own biases, challenging his subconscious xenophobia.
Rajib: You refused once before accepting my invitation to evacuate.Didn't want to travel with brown-skinned men? Stan: I'm not like that. Don't make me out to be like that. Rajib: Then why did you refuse?
Finally, Rajib gives what I consider to be the best line of dialogue from the episode, if not the entire show:
“The value of a life is the value of a life is the value of a life!”
Reluctantly, Stan turns the jeep around to find Bruno, and from here on, David Lean has his fingerprints all over the cinematography. They track down Bruno with the last of the jeep’s fuel, then proceed to walk through the desert in broad daylight with no food or water left. The sun beats down on them as they stumble through a landscape that grows ever bigger with every new shot.
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At last, they arrive at a British posting. Recognizing Stan as a British officer, the guards rush to provide him and Bruno water, brushing off Rajib. Dehydrated and on the verge of losing consciousness, Rajib collapses.
In an interview with Jace Lacob for the Masterpiece Studio podcast, Meenu Gaur describes the scene as this:
“It’s this sort of almost desperate belief he has about the goodness and the equality and all the great values that he fights for, we fight for as human beings. And in that one moment, [...] you see his heart break, he knows that it’s not true. The value of a life is not the value of a life.”
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Stan sees this and desperately begins to shout “He’s a British officer. You should go to him!” He has, at least, learned from Rajib. In the final moments of the episode, the music swells as Rajib is given a flask and struggles to lift it to his mouth, so close, and yet so far.
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xcixmoon · 4 years ago
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since I met you
*reminder, most of my stories are 18+ - keep in mind when reading if you have not seen what this story is labeled as under the masterlist. also, thank u for 300 followers!!
note: just a heads up, this story is fem!reader but reader will have body dysmorphia. It won’t go into much detail but I’m putting this down now as a trigger warning.
pairing: sebastian stan x yn ; bff!seb x bff!yn ; (kinda) possesive!seb x yn ; seb x actress!yn ; jealous!seb x yn
warnings: (kinda) possessive Seb, strong language, teasing, alcohol consumption, body dysmorphia, choking, grinding, praise kink, jealousy, uh kinda fluff? etc...
masterlist
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“Seb! You’re the worst wingman!” You laugh at him.
Your legs rested on top of Sebastian’s legs as you both sat on your living room couch. You both were a little tipsy from having previous drinks with some mutual friends after a long day on set.
“How am I a bad wingman?! I got you that date that one time!” he recalled.
You shook your head, “No! I got ME that date. You almost blew it by saying embarrassing stories.”
You remembered back to the time you both went to a club with one of your old high school best friend. When you entered the club, you didn't notice but most of the men in the bar couldn’t keep their eyes off of you.
How could they? You were stunning.
Your friend was the one who hinted to you about a man that definitely fit your taste standing not too far from you three.
Blue eyes, dark hair, tall, and certainly handsome.
“He keeps looking at you...” she whispered in your ear.
You turned around to see who she was talking about. When your eyes landed on the man, Sebastian noticed. He seen where your eyes landed, his jaw clenched.
A sting of jealousy hitting him.
He wasn’t jealous of you looking at another man. He was more so jealous of how you looked at him.
The want and need in your eyes.
Sebastian took a sip of his drink and made his way to the man who you were once looking at, “Hey man,” he stuck a hand out.
The guy shook his hand when he noticed Sebastian was talking to him.
“I’m Sebastian, I’m friends with the girl over there.” He pointed towards you. You still hadn’t noticed that Sebastian slipped away as you were talking to your friend.
You let out a laugh at something she said, throwing your head back as if it was something so hilarious. Sebastian couldn’t help but smile at you, you looked breathtaking to him.
Your hair nicely done, a silk dress hugging your body, and the necklace he got you after your first big role that you both played in.
“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” He asked the guy after pulling his eyes off you.
“Uh, yeah.” the stranger cleared his throat, he was thrown off by Sebastian's comment a bit, “Sorry, I’m Daniel.” he mentioned.
“Come on, let me introduce you.” Sebastian gave him a half smile.
Sebastian returned to you and your friend, “Hey, there you are!” You said a little tipsy.
“Hey, babe.” He laughed at you.
That nickname.
You didn't even know why or how it started but it was something that happened so naturally to call each other ‘babe’. You loved it and he loved saying it.
“Who’s your friend?” You asked cheekily. You knew exactly who he was but giddiness filled your body when Sebastian introduced you both.
After a few more drinks, the man stayed around longer. You four were having a great time, “Oh god, I remember this one time when I snuck into Y/N’s trailer after a couple of my takes and I scared the living hell out of her.” Sebastian laughed.
You felt embarrassed as Daniel looked at you, “That wasn’t funny, I thought someone broke in!” you playfully hit Sebastian.
“I have so many stories.” Sebastian told the group, “She gets scared easily and she’s so, so gullible...”
back to present
You smiled at Sebastian whose hand was now resting on your thigh, “And you went on and on with the stories, the guy was getting ready to bolt after hearing how much of a dork I am!”
“He still ended up going out with you.” He reminded, you rolled your eyes at him, “That date was horrible anyways. All he wanted to talk about was about his job.” you chuckled.
Sebastian looked at you as you played with your necklace. He loved that it never came off, you would sneakily wear it during takes - often causing the wardrobe team to get upset at you for it.
"People are going to notice it," they would say.
It was a gold necklace of your favorite flower. You nearly cried when you seen it, it was beautiful, and no one has gotten you something like it.
You took notice of Sebastian looking at you, “What?” You asked - a blush crept onto your face. You never got shy around Sebastian but the look he had was something different.
He had his stupid little grin that you loved but his eyes looked like they were filled with love or lust.
You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about your best friend in a certain way that most people would think is wrong, but they wouldn’t understand.
You and Sebastian were not “normal�� best friends. You both would steal little drunk kisses often; it was something that would happen so casually and neither of you made a big deal about it.
Well, at least to each other.
Sebastian looked away, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. “It’s nothing,”
You removed your legs from his lap, deciding to sit closer to him. “Come on, tell me. We never hide anything from each other." you teased.
“Alright, alright.” Sebastian giggled, “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since I met you.”
You felt your heart flutter at his words.
You never thought you would have a chance with Sebastian.
You were used to the guy having many relationships that would often last a few years, while you were just having fun because you thought you weren’t capable to have a stable relationship.
“What?” You said in shock.
Sebastian looked down at your lips and back at your eyes, his voice lowered when he began speaking, “I always think about you.”
There he goes again - making your heart flutter, “Seb...” you said bashfully.
“I’m serious,” he got closer to you - you were inches away from his lips, “Do you know how hard it is to not kiss you when you look so beautiful all the damn time?”
You smiled at his words.
Was this really happening?
“Stop joking! I’m not even that pretty...” you shrugged off his compliment.
You struggled so much with your confidence and he was there to hear all the doubt. You never knew how bad he wanted to show you how beautiful you are to him.
“Why do you do that?” He asked he shook his head, “I hate when you doubt yourself.”
A sudden sadness washed over you, “I’m sorry...” you sheepishly said as you put your head down.
You began fiddling with your fingers, pulling at the fabric of your pants.
You felt like a burden when he finished his sentence, you always vented to him when you felt bad about yourself and you never realized how he might have felt hearing your rants.
Sebastian lifted your head up with his hands placed on each side, “Don’t apologize, please. Never apologize for what you feel - I only said what I said because to me, you’re so beautiful and it hurts me when you don’t see yourself as how I see you.”
A small tear rolled down your cheek.
Oh great.
“I’m such an idiot,” you said whipping it away, “I’m getting emotional over the fact my best friend called me beautiful.” a small laugh escapes your lips.
Sebastian continued to look at you with a small smile, “You’re my idiot.” he told you.
You settled down your emotions to give him a smile in return.
“I really, really want to kiss you right now.” He said with a laugh, licking his lips. He felt like a high school kid all over again with his crush sitting right in front of him.
The excitement.
The nervousness.
Just everything a teenager would feel in this moment if they were with their crush.
“Do it.” You said without hesitation.
As soon as you finished your words Sebastian pulled you into a kiss. It was full of need and love. His hand found its way down to your legs to pull you on top of his lap, “Tell me to stop whenever you want,” he said breathless between kisses.
You shook your head, “Don’t stop.”
Of course you didn’t want him to stop.
You always loved his kisses, he worked with what you were willing to do and every time it felt like you were having your first kiss all over again.
You began to grind against Sebastian as you sat in his lap. The friction getting you wet from the start, you felt him grow hard under you.
“Seb...” you whimpered.
He stopped kissing you to see if anything was wrong, “Do you want this?” He asked.
His face was full of concern and worry, causing you to laugh. He was so cute to worry, he didn’t understand how much this meant to you.
“I want this. I want you.” You reassured him, “I’ve always wanted you.” You told him finally pulling him into a kiss again.
“God, you don’t understand what you do to me.” He kissed you back.
You tugged at the hem of his shirt, revealing what was underneath and stared. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He said in a cocky tone followed by a stupid wink.
You’ve probably seen him shirtless thousands of times because of filming on set or seeing him in a movie but this was different.
This whole thing was different.
You felt like you could finally appreciate him because he was being intimate with you.
“Shut up,” you replied, you began to kiss Sebastian’s face, down his neck and down to his stomach. You noticed his breath hitched when you got lower.
“Oh, fuck,” he grunted in a low voice and bucking his hips.
You began kissing his lower stomach more, you liked that he was squirming under you from simple kisses, “Y/N...” he warned.
“I’m not doing anything...” you purred. Your voice came off innocent and sweet but that only turned him on more. His hand wrapped around your neck to pull you back to him, “You’re such a little brat.” he growled.
“Take your pants off baby, I wanna see how wet you are just from grinding against me for those few minutes.” He ordered you.
Revealing your wet panties Sebastian smiled, “You got that wet from grinding on me baby?” He teased.
“I wonder how your body will react to me fucking that pretty pussy of yours.” He said in your ear as he slipped his hand down your panties.
His fingers found their way to your clit, slowly playing with it and teasing you with the act of entering your folds but only quickly pulling out.
The sound of his voice sent chills down your spine, you’ve never seen Sebastian act this way. “Please...” you whimpered at his words, “I want you Seb, I want all of you.” you told him again.
His pants already undone and down to his ankles, Sebastian wasted no time pulling you on top of his lap again. Slowly lowering you onto to his hard cock, his thumb slowly circling itself on your clit.
A low moan escaped your lips doing so, “You’re so pretty like this,” Sebastian said as he began kissing your neck.
“Mh..” was all you could say in response.
Sebastian took his time allowing you to get comfortable on top of him, your eyes became glossy when you felt him fully enter you, “I never want to hear you doubt yourself again.”
“Tell me you understand.” He pulled your hair back from your face so he could look at you, “I understand.” You panted out and nodded eagerly as you still slowly rode him.
He gave you a kiss on the lips before praising you, “Good girl.”
Sebastian quickly pulled off your shirt, exposing that you are wearing no bra - to have his tongue find its way down to your exposed nipple, playing with it when you bounced on him, “Ah...” a whimper from the stimulation.
“How can someone look so pretty riding me? Hm?” He praised you. His words sounded like honey, “Your cute little moans...” he cooed.
“Just for you Seb,” you revealed, “‘m all yours.” you mumbled.
Sebastian sat back as he watched you pleasure yourself on his cock. He was happy letting you do what you wanted - you pulled one of his hands to cup one of your breasts, “Keep doing what you were doing please,” you begged him.
He kept his left hand on your clit, playing with it, “Anything for my baby, you tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.” He whispered in your ear.
His right hand played with your nipple, pinching, and twisting it to cause a little pain that you loved.
“Don’t be afraid to cum all over my cock baby.” He said before his tongue played with your nipple once more, “I can feel you close to cumin’.”
He was right.
You were riding him eagerly and your pace quickened. You had excitement fill your body when you realize he wasn’t wearing a condom, “I’ll fill you up baby, just say that words.”
“Mh, I want you to...” you couldn’t finish your words as you let out a load moan, “Oh, fuck, Seb- ‘m gonna cum.” You warned him.
Sebastian wrapped his arms around you, bringing him closer to you - “Fuck, Y/N, you feel so fucking good around me.” He praised you as his hips began to buck into your wet pussy.
“Mhm,” you whimpered, “Don’t stop, please.” You pleaded.
Sebastian’s thrusts into you began sloppy, “You were made for me baby.” He moaned as he filled you up.
A loud gasp leaving your lips at his words and the sudden warm feeling of his cum inside you, “Oh! Fuck!” Was all you could manage to get out once you came undone all over his cock.
You slowly stopped yourself, “I love you...” you heard him say.
“I don’t want just sex with you, I want everything that comes with being in a relationship with you.” He moved your hair that stuck to your face from the sweat.
Your stomach was doing a million flips.
“I love you too...” you said sweetly before kissing him.
-
im undecided if i want this to be a series lol
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batarangsoundsdumb · 4 years ago
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guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.
For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell
fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one
i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft
that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you
tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again
as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)
hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s
holy shit yes.
SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe
superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'
does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom
it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.
I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?
as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)
somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.
and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!
babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence
babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to
JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT
again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song
The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian
oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag
soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"
i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage
Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?
don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)
What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk
stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.
This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it
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This is canon now @nctxrejects
lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out
idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family
bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another
I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.
yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.
Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings
smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn
Duke was adopted by Bruce?
not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?
True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live
true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?
apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome
ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.
ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut
lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash
oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man
while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.
dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie
magnum hot take
hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth
thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)
why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???
what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones
oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no
I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked
yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends
"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years
i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.
BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them
lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.
I am in love with your posts your honour thank you
omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?
The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john
Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian
yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
and what about it?
when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST
oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat
Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes
lmao i do too
I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it
he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.
you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank
babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)
ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something
that's a very good vocabulary upgrade
somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”
steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.
Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious
babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks
In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97
lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)
You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.
bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers
How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?
horrible, next question.
I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid
yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time
bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)
lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)
Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje
he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'
I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??
i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way
SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed
'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'
i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam
fair enough
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sheeple · 4 years ago
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Headcanon madness
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PHOTO NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION. Genre(s): crack Fandom(s): MCU actors Pairing(s): none, it’s all platonic Summary: A fan asks a question about headcanons and you open your can of worms Warning(s): Does European!reader count as a warning? / There’s also no specific time set, so if that triggers you, boohoo A/n:  These headcanons are from all sort of posts and videos, but the main inspiration is from thecaptainsdoll on TikTok. Most of the credit goes to her [Masterlist]
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Doing a press tour with Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, and Chris Evans is always such fun. Especially something like ComicCon where you are squeezed in the middle of Seb and Chris, Mackie on Seb's other side.
"I have a question for (Y/N)", says the next speaker and I perk up, my mic to my lips. This is the first question directed at only me. "Since you said you were a huge fan of the MCU, what are your headcanons?"
A laugh escapes my lips. This is going to be so much fun!
"Head- what?" Seb looks confused at me.
"Headcanons. It is like... things you make up in your head about some characters. I have a few."
"Oh Lord, here they come", laughs Mackie and I shoot him a glare.
"Tony hates peanut butter. I don't know what it is, just something like... like... he just hates peanut butter, okay.
Natasha is an amazing singer, but the only two people who have heard are Clint and Steve. Clint because he's a little impostor and likes to hide in the vents." I throw a wink at the crowd, as a nod to Among Us. "And Steve. Just makes sense because they were on the run together in The Winter Soldier."
"What's an impostor?" Chris leans back slightly.
"It's from a game. Not like y'all old people would understand." I smirk. The guys give me dirty looks.
"Sara Rogers, Steve's mom, was an amazing cook. She taught all her recipes to Bucky because Steve didn't want to learn how to cook. So when she died, Bucky was the only one how to cook like Steve's mom. And before Infinity War, when Bucky was in Wakanda, Steve visited him sometimes and Bucky would cook for them."
The crowd awes and one guy yells from the top of his lungs, "Stucky!"
I snort. "Thor loves baking. And when I say loves, he loves baking. Especially bread. And no matter how many times Tony or Bruce have tried to explain to Thor how yeast works, to him it is just witchcraft.
Steve smokes and hates sushi. He smokes because he's from the '40s and has asthma and the treatment was smoking back then. I did my research, everybody. He hates sushi because of the whole USA versus Japan during WW2."
"Are all these of yours so long-winded?" 
"A few quick ones, then." I poke my tongue out at Mackie. "Sam's VA club becomes a Falcon Fanclub. Scott and Peter have each other as 'bug-boys' in their contacts. Thor doesn't know what a whale is and is too afraid to ask. Clint wears hearing aids like in the comics. Natasha hacks into any official document that says 'Captain America' and changes it into 'Grandpa frisbee'."
Chris laughs loudly, clutching his chest while throwing his head backwards. "She would do that, yeah."
"And the last one is that Peter once took a BuzzFeed quiz to find out which Avenger you are. And when he got Tony, he took a screenshot and sent it to Tony. Tony was in a board meeting and had to try to not get emotional because Peter's happy he got Tony."
"How do you come up with those?" The three guys look baffled at me.
"I am an insomniac with access to TikTok and Tumblr. What do you guys expect?" I lean back with a smirk on my face as the crowd cheers.
Another person rushes up to the mic, a girl by the sound of their voice. "What side of TikTok are you one?"
I whip my phone out of my pocket, giving a quick glance at my fyp and likes. "I am def on MCU-Tok. Ehrm... Europe-Tok, especially the trash-talking American side." A rumble goes through the crowd. "What? I am European! I can do that!"
Seb high fives me with a big smile. "Yeah baby, European rights!"
"Oh well, okay." Chris rolls his eyes like a toddler before Mackie and he squishes Seb and me in an 'American' high five over the two of us. 
I let out a weird, suppressed scream as I am laying underneath three grown men. "I am getting killed by three giant Doritos. Save me!" I flail my arms the best I can before they get off me. 
Chris neatens out my hair, but I swat his hand away. "No touch me, you lumpy space princess." I point my finger at him while narrowing my eyes, thickening my native accent.
I have forgotten the fact that it is not only us four but also the ginormous crowd of ComicCon goers, but their laugher brings me back to reality. Some are even crying.
"So, anyways. Be careful what y'all post and thirst about. Because I am hiding in the crowds, keeping an eye open for them and def sending them to those guys." I point towards the men next to me, earning another laugh from the crowd.
It's not until much later, when I am hanging out with the three idiots, that my Twitter notifications go wild. Fans have tagged me in memes and videos of today's panel.
God, there is nothing as great as the MCU fandom and their meme-making skills.
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bamf-jaskier · 4 years ago
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Who the Fuck is Eskel?
If you have ever gone on The Witcher tag on Tumblr, I’m sure you’ve seen dozens of blogs dedicated to this guy named Eskel and for people who have just seen the show you might be wondering - who the fuck is this guy? 
Hi, I’m Aaliyah, and this is Part 5 of my WTF Series - a crash course in subjects from The Witcher Books. 
Post under the cut
Let’s jump in by talking about what books Eskel is in. He’s only mentioned in one line in The Last Wish, The Tower of Swallows and The Time of Contempt. He has a flashback scene in Lady of the Lake and the only book where he plays a heavy role in is Blood of Elves. 
For all you Eskel Stans out there, this is good news, because it looks like S2 of the show is going to be taking some cues from Blood of Elves and we do know Eskel is going to be appearing so these scenes might be showing up in some form or another in the show. 
We first meet Eskel in Blood of Elves when Geralt is first bringing Ciri to the keep:
“Who comes?” Ciri heard a menacing, metallic voice which sounded like a dog’s bark. “Geralt?”
“Yes, Eskel. It’s me.”
“Come in.”
The witcher dismounted, took Ciri from the saddle, stood her on the ground and pressed a bundle into her little hands which she grabbed tightly, only regretting that it was too small for her to hide behind completely.
“Wait here with Eskel,” he said. “I’ll take Roach to the stables.”
“Come into the light, laddie,” growled the man called Eskel. “Don’t lurk in the dark.”
Ciri looked up into his face and barely restrained her frightened scream. He wasn’t human. Although he stood on two legs, although he smelled of sweat and smoke, although he wore ordinary human clothes, he was not human. No human can have a face like that, she thought.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” repeated Eskel.
She didn’t move. In the darkness she heard the clatter of Roach’s horseshoes grow fainter. Something soft and squeaking ran over her foot. She jumped. “Don’t loiter in the dark, or the rats will eat your boots.”
Still clinging to her bundle Ciri moved briskly towards the light. The rats bolted out from beneath her feet with a squeak. Eskel leaned over, took the package from her and pulled back her hood.
“A plague on it,” he muttered. “A girl. That’s all we need.”
She glanced at him, frightened. Eskel was smiling. She saw that he was human after all, that he had an entirely human face, deformed by a long, ugly, semi-circular scar running from the corner of his mouth across the length of his cheek up to the ear.
“Since you’re here, welcome to Kaer Morhen,” he said. “What do they call you?”
“Ciri,” Geralt replied for her, silently emerging from the darkness. Eskel turned around. Suddenly, quickly, wordlessly, the witchers fell into each other’s arms and wound their shoulders around each other tight and hard. For one brief moment.
“Wolf, you’re alive.”
“I am.”
“All right.” Eskel took a torch from its bracket. “Come on. I’m closing the inner gates to stop the heat escaping.”
Couple things here. First, for all the game fans out there, Eskel’s scar in the books is VERY different. It’s not the lightening-like claw marks that go over his eye but instead it goes from the corner of his mouth to his ear. This is interesting because it really parallels in my mind Ciri’s scar she gets later on that extends from under her eye to her ear. 
Also, the little reunion between Geralt and Eskel, so sweet. The line about Eskel in Last Wish establishes that they were close friends so here is the snippet just to give more backstory to the two of them: 
“Once, years ago, when a little snot-faced brat following his studies in Kaer Morhen, the Witchers’ Settlement, he and a friend, Eskel, had captured a huge forest bumblebee and tied it to a jug with a thread. They were in fits of laughter watching the antics of the tied bumblebee, until Vesemir, their tutor, caught them at it and tanned their hides with a leather strap.”
Childhood friends and brothers is just so damn great. Actually, speaking of brothers, it is stated in Blood of Elves that Geralt and Eskel actually look very similar and are often mistaken for brothers such as in this scene from Triss’s POV. 
Eskel stood next to Geralt, resembling the Wolf like a brother apart from the colour of his hair and the long scar which disfigured his cheek. And the youngest of the Kaer Morhen witchers, Lambert, was there with his usual ugly, mocking expression. Vesemir was not there.
“Welcome and come in,” said Eskel. “It is as cold and blustery as if someone has hung themselves. Ciri, where are you off to? The invitation does not apply to you. The sun is still high, even if it is obscured. You can still train.”
“Hey.” The Enchantress tossed her hair. “Politeness comes cheap in Witchers’ Keep now, I see. Ciri was the first to greet me, and brought me to the castle. She ought to keep me company—”
This really interests me because Ciri is very young child when she meets Eskel and she is very terrified of him and intimidated. Which makes sense, she is very traumatized. But, when Triss meets Eskel she only makes a short note of his scar and focuses more on his resemblance to Geralt and commenting on the lack of politeness. It just goes to show how different characters perceive people differently. A child’s perspective of a warrior is not going to be the same as a Mage’s. 
“You didn’t even know.” She nodded in what was now a calm, concerned and gentle reproach. “You’re pathetic guardians. She’s ashamed to tell you because she was taught not to mention such complaints to men. And she’s ashamed of the weakness, the pain and the fact that she is less fit. Has any one of you thought about that? Taken any interest in it? Or tried to guess what might be the matter with her? Maybe her very first bleed happened here, in Kaer Morhen? And she cried to herself at night, unable to find any sympathy, consolation or even understanding from anyone? Has any one of you given it any thought whatsoever?”
“Stop it, Triss,” moaned Geralt quietly. “That’s enough. You’ve achieved what you wanted. And maybe even more.”
“The devil take it,” cursed Coën. “We’ve turned out to be right idiots, there’s no two ways about it, eh, Vesemir, and you—”
“Silence,” growled the old witcher. “Not a word.”
It was Eskel’s behaviour which was most unlikely; he got up, approached the enchantress, bent down low, took her hand and kissed it respectfully. She swiftly withdrew her hand. Not so as to demonstrate her anger and annoyance but to break the pleasant, piercing vibration triggered by the witcher’s touch. Eskel emanated powerfully. More powerfully than Geralt.
“Triss,” he said, rubbing the hideous scar on his cheek with embarrassment, “help us. We ask you. Help us, Triss.”
Now, if you can’t tell, Triss’ favorite is Eskel. This scene is also implies that Eskel is more magically powerful than Geralt which Is very interesting. But Triss is an Eskel stan, in fact a couple lines later Triss thinks to herself: 
Vesemir hawked again. But Eskel, dear Eskel, kept his head and once more behaved as was fitting.
“Of course,” he said casually, smiling. “We understand and clearly we will postpone your exercises until your indisposition has passed. We will also cut the theory short and, if you feel unwell, we will put it aside for the time being, too. If you need any medication or—”
Eskel definitely has the older sibling energy where he ends up in charge sometimes and knows how to keep a cool head. He’s also the most aware of societal norms of behavior which is why Triss likes his so much. She really respects people who know how to move in society. 
There’s also this scene in Blood of Elves where Eskel is drinking and offers Triss some:
“White Seagull.”
“What?”
“A mild remedy,” Eskel smiled, “for pleasant dreams.”
“Damn it! A witcher hallucinogenic? That’s why your eyes shine like that in the evenings!”
“White Seagull is very gentle. It’s Black Seagull that is hallucinogenic.”
“If there’s magic in this liquid I’m not allowed to take it!”
“Exclusively natural ingredients,” Geralt reassured her but he looked, she noticed, disconcerted. He was clearly afraid she would question them about the elixir’s ingredients. “And diluted with a great deal of water. We would not offer you anything that could harm you.”
I think it’s very funny how secret The Witcher keeps all their potions and elixirs. Whether it’s mushrooms or potions, they gotta keep those secret drugs locked down tight. Also the fact that Eskel is the fantasy equivalent of high every night? Love that for him.  
Eskel really is the peace-maker of the group. He’s not a push-over by any means but he is definitely more willing to play along that any of the others. When Triss is talking at night, Eskel is really the only one listening and engaging, even if it’s very half-hearted. 
In the evenings, consistently and determinedly, Triss guided the long conversations held in the dark hall, lit only by the bursts of flames in the great hearth, towards politics. The witchers’ reactions were always the same. Geralt, a hand on his forehead, did not say a word. 
Vesemir nodded, from time to time throwing in comments which amounted to little more than that “in his day” everything had been better, more logical, more honest and healthier. 
Eskel pretended to be polite, and neither smiled nor made eye contact, and even managed, very occasionally, to be interested in some issue or question of little importance. Coën yawned openly and looked at the ceiling, and Lambert did nothing to hide his disdain.
And he is really the only sort-of listener to Triss’ stories and retellings of events: 
This time it was Triss who began to yawn and stare at the ceiling. This time she was the one who remained silent – until Eskel turned to her with a question. A question which she had anticipated.
“And what is it really like in the south, on the Yaruga? Is it worth going there? We wouldn’t like to find ourselves in the middle of any trouble.”
“What do you mean by trouble?”
“Well, you know…” he stammered, “you keep telling us about the possibility of a new war… About constant fighting on the borders, about rebellions in the lands invaded by Nilfgaard. You said they’re saying the Nilfgaardians might cross the Yaruga again—”
“So what?” said Lambert. “They’ve been hitting, killing and striking against each other constantly for hundreds of years. It’s nothing to worry about. I’ve already decided – I’m going to the far South, to Sodden, Mahakam and Angren. It’s well known that monsters abound wherever armies have passed. The most money is always made in places like that.”
“True,” Coën acknowledged. “The neighbourhood grows deserted, only women who can’t fend for themselves remain in the villages… scores of children with no home or care, roaming around… Easy prey attracts monsters.”
“And the lord barons and village elders,” added Eskel, “have their heads full of the war and don’t have the time to defend their subjects. They have to hire us. It’s true. But from what Triss has been telling us all these evenings, it seems the conflict with Nilfgaard is more serious than that, not just some local little war. Is that right, Triss?”
Once more, Eskel is the peace-maker of the conversation and he brings it back around to what Triss originally said and also points to her expertise. Basically, Eskel is not really a fan of verbal conflict. 
This is actually the last line we see Eskel in a scene outside of the flashback in Lady of the Lake. After this, Triss, Geralt and Ciri head off. It is important to note that near the end of Blood of Elves Ciri says this about Yennefer:
The lady magician knew a surprising amount about a witcher’s sword and “dance.” She knew a great deal about the secrets of Kaer Morhen; there was no doubt she had visited the Keep. She knew Vesemir and Eskel. Although not Lambert and Coën.
Yennefer used to visit Kaer Morhen. Ciri guessed why – when they spoke of the Keep – the eyes of the enchantress grew warm, lost their angry gleam and their cold, indifferent, wise depth. If the words had befitted Yennefer’s person, Ciri would have called her dreamy, lost in memories.
So clearly Yennefer is also friendly with Eskel and knows him. I love the idea that Yennefer regularly visited Kaer Morhen before Ciri came into Geralt’s care and I would literally cry if they did a flashback sequence in S2 of Yennefer visiting Geralt in Kaer Morhen. 
The flashback sequence in Lady of the Lake with Eskel goes like this: 
The fire in the huge fireplace went out. A gust of wind from the mountains whistled through the crevices of the walls and screamed through the improperly closed shutters of Kaer Morhen, Home of the Witchers.
“Damn it!” Eskel said, standing up and going to the cupboard. “Seagull or vodka?”
“Vodka,” Geralt and Coen said with one voice.
“Sure,” interjected Vesemir, hidden in the shadows, “Yes, of course! Drown your stupidity in vodka. Damn fools!”
“It was an accident…” muttered Lambert. “She had already mastered the comb…”
“Shut your big mouth, you idiot! I don’t want to hear any more! I warned you, if something happened to that little girl…”
“Enough,” Coen interrupted him, softly. “She sleeps peacefully. Deep and healthy. She will wake up a bit sore, but that’s it. About the trance, and what happened, she will not even remember it.”
“As long as you remember,” said Vesemir, panting angrily. “Cabbage heads! Pour for me too, Eskel.”
They were silent for a long time, listening intently to the howling gale.
“We will need to call someone,” Eskel finally said. “We will need to bring a sorcerer here. What is happening to the girl, it is not normal.”
Eskel is one of The Witcher who really pushes to call Triss in order to help with Ciri’s trances. Also, once again this guy is hitting the drinks. 
So yeah! That’s Eskel in the books. Based on how in the non-canon wedding short Asaps wrote where he ended up having Triss and Eskel get together, I think his hints of them having a connection in the books is very intentional and if The Witcher wasn’t such a god damn tragedy and Triss wasn’t mooning over Geralt, I’m willing to bet they would have gotten together at some point. 
Eskel is the peace-maker of the family and is the best at recognizing the norms of “polite society” (or at least noble society) and while Ciri might have been scared of his appearance, it isn’t enough to phase Triss who is considered rather vain. In fact, she seems to respect Eskel the most out of the Witchers. Just imagine a dark-haired, scarred Geralt and BOOM, you got yourself an Eskel. 
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msgrumpygills · 3 years ago
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Social Media Anon Here!
Firstly, never change Grumpy ;) you are probably the only person on Tumblr to LISTEN to another view and let it change a prejudice.
Secondly, the Padagram/Social Media change bus continues. Don't be fooled people will be looking at positive and negative reactions to that change on social media.
So here goes!
1. They are starting to market season 2 of Walker in Hiatus. That really doesn't happen. That means they know they need to target new viewers. They are acknowledging they have a problem. The main problem is Jared either didn't learn enough about production quality on SPN (Jensen/Misha were both more interested in behind the camera's) or that he thought he could stick a Stetson on and we all had such sh1t for brains we'd watch anything. So they need a viewer boost DESPARATELY and are going all out to (a) persuade Walkers remaining viewer(s) that it's worth sticking around and (b) get back old viewers or convert 1m+ viewers to season 2. So now we see all the cast (and Keegan has more followers than Jared and Lindsay has a VERY engaged following) trying to persuade their followers how fabulous Walker is. Expect this scrabbling to continue if they want their COVID paychecks.
2. Connected to 1, Jared has started trying to break out of the fandom bubble. I don't think he's trying for power couple (the clue in a power couple is that two FAMOUS people get together and create a super brand, here we have one niche C famous guy and a hanger on wife), I think we are in Jared profile raising and trying to raise his recognition score, which is probably a little low having half assed it in the last year and a half. He's doing it by scatter-gunning so I'm not sure it's going to stick.
3. Connected to 2,
(i) if I run my algorithm clean laptop with a "Jared Padalecki" news search, I get (a) a daily mail article on Jared "clarifying the rift" (b) a "hello" magazine saying he's been "inundated with support after death of "family member"" (c) the new york times article on Walker and Supernatural. It then goes into a variety of articles about Jared raising money for Holly's family (fucking atrocious in my view to use her death for publicity) and a series of derivative articles on his mantrum and later explanation. ONLY THE NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE MENTIONS WALKER other than as a throw away, all of the others link to Supernatural only. Walker isn't on the main radar of anyone as a show. It's not mainstream enough to mention. it has ZERO buzz.
(ii) if I run the same search on my compromised tablet, I get a SEA of fluff articles "jared padalecki goes to venice", "jared padalecki's wife wishes him a happy birthday" "jared padalecki goes to watch soccer" "jared padalecki goes to the wrestling". I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow.
At the end of that I get the same articles as in (i) but the majority of his publicity is still going through the fandom and the, not very viewed, endless zine type websites that update on every episode of every geek show every day.
So we are seeing, and I expect it to continue, a break out Padalecki, (who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films), and a fluff Padalecki, trying to stay relevant a year after SPN relevance ended, because he hasn't got the same push for season 2 of Walker as he had for season 1 and Walker has zero presence. No one, not even the fans are talking about Walker.
Will it work? I don't think so. Keegan has 7m followers on Insta and that's because he's a photographer and writer and it's interesting. I would follow his account (I don't), but certainly it isn't a Walker instagram.
Jared is a clever guy, but he's boring on social media. He has a limited appeal. He does family snaps, hunk snaps, flogs orange pee and flogs his show. He says "family" and "mantra" a lot but that's really it. The clue is, if you didn't know who he was and came across his instagram you wouldn't follow him. Why would you? For a video of a guy running up steps? A smug picture of two middle aged men trying to flog you something?... (oh and lots of "brother" comments on Keegan's social media, which is irritating. It's like he thinks that is his repeatable formula and it isn't).
His media approach won't work because advertising and exposure pushes a product. In TV's case, it's not a one off product and there is a lot of competition. Product Jared needs to be more interesting (his mantrum's are the only exciting thing about him - and that is tragic) and his TV show just needs to be BETTER, well, a LOT BETTER.
Soooo, expect the Padapush to continue, but it's not about a couple, it's about individual marketing and for Jared breaking out of SPN bubble. For Gen, it's her tag along profile that she'll never break out of. She'll have to be satisfied with her superpower of being able to persuade people to buy toothbrush's and dog food (if she can).
Expect though the couple's bit to die off a little. Jared is getting over exposed. His engagement rating is plummeting (nearly 3% is a plummet) because of the repetitive photo content. He'll have to back off or people will switch off (I have already). What makes me laugh is.... from the dawn of time when cavemen took their wives 2 miles away for a new cave weekend.... NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN INTERESTED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOLIDAY SNAPS.... Gen and Jared apparently need to learn that lesson...
I might stop these posts now because, well, it's gotta be a bit boring for you and I write LONG. :)
Stay safe and wear your masks ;) xxx
I don’t want you to ever ever change, lovely! Also, I’m NEVER bored by your messages! You put so much effort into the research you do and the messages you send and it’s appreciated! <3 
I started following Lindsey on IG because she seems pretty genuine, and her cat is way too cute! Plus, I like her attitude. I haven’t followed her for the whole Walker season, but even she doesn’t post a lot about it. She posts interviews and then posts about that night’s episode, but other than that, nothing.  Can’t speak for Keegan, but how are fans and non-fans supposed to be excited about a show when the people STARRING in the show can’t be bothered? Maybe they’re all aware of how shitty it is or maybe they’re lazy, but it doesn’t make sense. 
I’m always interested to see the difference in an “algorithm-free” setting and one that has an algorithm. I always figured Google was the same for everyone, but seeing the difference in articles you’ve outlined is insane. It really just goes to show that Jared isn’t the star that his stans think he is. He’s not as important as they think he is, he’s just an actor.  It’s even more jarring to see just how little Walker is talked about at all. All of my devices probably have been “contaminated” when it comes to algorithm so I can’t really speak personally about the public and fans talking about Walker or not talking about it. I can say that on the posts about Walker from the Supernatural Facebook page, a good chunk of the comments are people saying they stopped watching, never got into it, or thought it was trash. There are only a handful of comments talking about how they enjoy the show. 
I think it was disgusting for him to use a fan’s passing for publicity. And no, I don’t think it was anything other than a PR stunt. Her family had a GFM going that was promoted by plenty of the case INCLUDING GEN, so you know he knew about it. But for him to make his own special one and then have articles posted everywhere about how charitable he is? That’s gross PR bullshit and I hope it backfires. 
I still follow a few Supernatural fans, Jared fans, Jensen fans, etc. on Tumblr and even they aren’t mentioning it. I think maybe the hardcore Jared stans post gifsets or whatever, but I don’t see much praise for the show itself, just Jared’s looks. Even the fans aren’t biting and that would make me reevaluate everything if I was Jared. 
I'm expecting "Jared Padalecki defecates regularly" tomorrow. This made me laugh way too hard!
who knows he and his forehead may wish to have a final crack at films You are on a ROLL!  Maybe I’ve become biased, but I can’t see Jared doing films. I mean, I could see him doing like a side character role or something small, but I can’t see him having a big part of a movie. Like I said, maybe that’s me being biased but I see him staying in TV. I could be proven wrong, but I don’t know. 
I agree about Jared being boring on SM. I used to get some giggles from his Twitter posts and even some of his early IG posts because they were goofy, clever, and candid. It showed his humor and was more personable. Now it’s just all fake and comes off as someone whose only motivation to engage with fans is money and that’s a big turn off. 
For me personally, I think that if instead of the “couple goals” bullshit that they try to push for their lavish trips, if they just posted cool pictures they took of different locations, activities, food or whatever, that would be more palatable than all the “Look at my hubster and I! We’re in Italy! Look at how in love we are!” But maybe that’s because I’ve become a bit of a photography nerd? 
I guess time will tell whether or not Jared will make positive changes and if Walker can be saved, but I’m not really optimistic about it. 
I AM optimistic about your takes on things so keep them coming! Long posts or not, I love them! <3
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luxekook · 4 years ago
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bangtan host club ❯ part i
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❯ pairing: ot7 x reader
❯ genre: ouran au, college au, crack, smut
❯ summary: when you had decided to take summer lessons at your college, you hadn’t factored in the impending presence of seven insufferably attractive and arrogant boys… the bangtan host club. 
❯ word count: 2.1k
❯ warnings: 18+, cursing, suggestive language, terrible pet names, excessive dramatics
❯ banner by: maggie @kimtaehyunq​
a/n: while this fic is loosely based off of the anime version of ouran highschool host club, it is set in university - meaning that all of the boys are of age (at least 21 years old)
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host club members
❯ Kim Namjoon as “Kyoya Ootori” ❯ Kim Seokjin as “Tamaki Suoh” ❯ Min Yoongi as “Takashi ‘Mori’ Morinozuka” ❯ Jung Hoseok as “Mitsukuni ‘Honey’ Haninozuka” ❯ Park Jimin as “Hikaru Hitachiin” ❯ Kim Taehyung as “Kaoru Hitachiin” ❯ Jung Jungkook as “Haruhi Fujioka”
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Taking summer classes had never been on my agenda, my studies having been mapped out in detail since the day I arrived on campus three years ago. And then the university’s president suddenly has this utterly groundbreaking epiphany and adjusts the curriculum to “ensure that all students will leave Bangtan University well-rounded”. 
Screw that. My ass is already well-rounded enough, thank you very much.
But despite my best efforts (i.e. begging President Kim to make an exception followed by crafting a petition that gained over ten thousand signatures), I have found that there is no avoiding the dastardly new physical education requirement. And since my schedule for my upcoming senior year has been planned and set for literal years, I’ve been forced to enroll in the sole summer physical education class offered at Bangtan University - Introduction to Weight Lifting.
I wish I was kidding.
To say that I am dreading the start of class tomorrow would be an extreme understatement. I’ll be lucky to escape this summer without physical injury or the loss of my dignity. Athletics have never been my strong suit, and I’ve only entered our campus gym to go to the smoothie bar.
Groaning at just the mere thought of working out and being graded for it, I trek down the streets of outer campus towards the library, swearing under my breath and sweating profusely.
It’s a blazing hot, blue-skied Sunday in July. Typically, I would be lying on a beach somewhere with a drink in my hand, soaking in the warmth of the sun with joy. But instead, here I am, sweltering and desperate for air conditioning after my ancient window unit wheezed its final breath last night. The comfortable chill of the library is my only hope aside from my landlord who promised to fix my air conditioning by tomorrow.
My frustration builds as I turn onto the block lined with imposing and picturesque estates in which the upper echelon of Bangtan University resides. I’d bet the very last ice-pack in my freezer that these houses have unfailing central air.
I pick up my pace, worn Doc Marten platform sandals slapping against the hot pavement. The pristine mansions seem to mock my distress as they exude the coolness of unbothered wealth. Despite there being no Greek life here at Bangtan University, the lack of letters emblazoned on the numerous estates I pass does not symbolize a lack of status. 
This block is home to the athletic teams who throw massive parties whenever they happen to be in the off-season. It’s also home to the legacy clubs - the exclusive groups of current students who are relatives of past alumni.
And last but not least, this block is home to the infamous Bangtan Host Club, a small group of idle rich boys with exceptionally good looks and a penchant for entertaining. 
The aforementioned group’s house comes into view as I draw nearer to campus. The host club’s mansion sits on the corner lot right across the street from campus. Typically, students are wary of such proximity - but not those boys. No, they’re un-phased, throwing massive parties every weekend without fail and without repercussion.
During my first semester, I had been confused as to why their parties had never been shut down; but now I know better. The host club’s president Kim Seokjin is the son of none other than the fucking president of the university - the very same man who damned me to my weight lifting fate.
In fact, almost the entire host club is related to someone with influence - either at the university or within the surrounding community. The only exception to the wealth factor is Jeon Jungkook, who attends Bangtan University on a scholarship not unlike myself.
About 99% of the university are host club stans. As for me? I don’t subscribe to that bullshit. And I do mean literally ‘subscribe’. They have newsletters, merch and everything. I would say I don’t understand it at all, but a small part of me does.
They’re fucking gorgeous. Like I’m talking Tom Ford at New York Fashion Week gorgeous. Armani catalogue centerfold gorgeous. Goddamn Sports Illustrated Men’s Swimsuit Edition gorgeous. 
In fact, I’m pretty sure Kim Seokjin actually does model in his spare time. With his long limbs, broad shoulders and pillowy lips, Seokjin certainly has the features for it. My freshman year roommate bought so many posters of Seokjin from the host club’s merch website I think I could identify him from a hundred yards away in the dark. 
“Hey!” The bellow emanates from the porch of the host club’s house and jolts me from my memories, “Hey, princess!”
I let out a snort. Whoever that pet name is directed at needs to shut that down immediately. I mean, ‘princess���? In this economy? Please. I need off this block ASAP.
“Hello? I’m talking to you, angel!” 
The voice sounds closer now, and my eyes squeeze shut. Oh god, this person cannot be talking to me, can they?
Princess? Angel?
The sheer absurdity pushes me onward, and I do not spare a single glance in the direction where the inane greetings originated. Alas, I barely make it two feet before a tall figure screeches to a halt in front of me, panting like he had just run a marathon. 
I blink as I take in the very boy who just crossed my mind a minute earlier. Kim Seokjin looms over me, chest heaving and smile gleaming.
“Cupcake, hello!” his smile grows wider, “Why didn’t you answer me? I was talking to you.”
My brain is trying to wrap itself around the unfathomable phenomenon I’m currently witnessing. The host club president is beaming down at me like I’m the last custom Rolex ever made. His white t-shirt that probably costs more than my rent stretches across his shoulders in a way that has to be illegal. 
A bead of sweat drips down my back between my shoulder blades. I don’t have time for this attractive detour; I only have time for a long sip of iced water and a seat under an air conditioning vent somewhere deep within the recesses of the quiet library.
“Were you?” I shrug, looking over his illegally broad shoulder and plotting my escape, “I didn’t realize, considering my name isn’t princess, angel or cupcake.”
I inwardly cringe at my tone. I have a tendency to be irritable when the weather is hot, and it seems like today is no exception.
Seokjin stares down at me, his cocky expression wavering for a split second before snapping back into place. “Well, tell me your name then, sunshine, so that I may cordially invite you to the host club’s latest summer extravaganza!” His dark brown eyes sparkle as he remains seemingly impervious to my building ire, beaming down at me.
“No, thank you,” I shake my head decisively and attempt to sidestep around him. 
None of my friends are on campus for the summer, and there is no way I'm going alone to a party full of strangers. That just screams bad decisions, just like the time I willingly ate the dining hall’s “Mystery Meat Special” during my second semester.
Seokjin cuts off my path yet again, and my scowl intensifies as I glare up at him, “Could you move, please?”
Seokjin gapes back at me, “D-don’t you want to come to our party?” I stare at him with eyebrows raised. He continues at a higher decibel, “Don’t you know who I am?”
The nerve of this boy. My eyes scrunch shut as I send a quick plea to anyone out there in the universe to send me patience and then internally count backwards from ten. 
“Yes, I know who you are, Kim,” I finally say, completely exasperated, “And no, I still don’t want to go to your party.”
Seokjin is gobsmacked, looking like he’s seen a ghost as he stands before me open-mouthed. For a second, I allow myself to indulge one more time in his attractiveness, my eyes wandering along his toned torso, his muscular arms, his high cheekbones, his messy brown hair. 
And then he bounces back, snapping his fingers, “Aha! I know what this is. You’re playing hard to get! Okay, I can play along with you, sunshine.”
It’s my turn to gape at him this time, watching as he mumbles to himself about how I must want him to beg for me and how he would just love to do so. I’m about to put a stop to this madness when he spreads his arms wide and announces loud enough for the entire block to hear, “Sunshine, please, attend our party! My heart longs for your presence, and I will only be happy if I can have your arm in mine next Friday night...”
I’m honestly beginning to worry about the boy in front of me. Is he completely unhinged? Am I being Punk’d right now? 
Seokjin prattles on, “So, my sun, my moon, my stars, will you please do me the honor of joining me for a night of fun courtesy of the host club? No guest has yet to be disappointed and—!”
I finally just reach up and cover his mouth with my palm, steadfastly ignoring how plush his lips feel against my skin. “Kim Seokjin!” I hiss, “I promise I am not playing hard to get. I simply do not want to go to your party. Now, please, for the love of god, let me walk by you in peace.”
Loud bursts of laughter sound immediately after I finish speaking, and I whip around to locate the source. Two boys jog over to where Seokjin and I are standing on the pavement. Their laughter doesn’t subside with their approach. If anything, it grows louder.
“Oh, come on, pres,” the pink-haired boy who I know to be Park Jimin jeers, his melodic giggles punctuating each word. “Is this how you plan on handling your first rejection?”
My eyebrows pull together in confusion as I turn to face Seokjin, only to find him lying dramatically on the lawn in front of his house with one arm throw over his face.
“Go away, Jimin,” Seokjin groans, ripping out a handful of grass and throwing it at the other boy. Obviously, he doesn't calculate for the wind and sputters when the grass blows back in his face.
“Boss, you’ve really hit a new low,” the blue-haired boy - Kim Taehyung - grins as he looks back and forth between me and the over-the-top performance happening on the lawn. All Seokjin does in return is flip Taehyung off, seeming to have learned from his grass-throwing lesson.
Well, there’s no need for me to stay a second longer within this realm of crazy.
I turn on my heel and head off towards the library, renewed in my desperation for the relief of blissfully cold air.
Alas, I don’t get too far before the two boys with colorful hair are in front of me - each with an arm thrown over the other’s shoulders. 
“Well, well, well… I must say,” Taehyung drawls.
“You’re quite an intriguing little thing,” Jimin cocks his head, looking me up and down. I try in vain to steel myself against the heated assessments both boys are giving me.
I’d heard a lot about these two - most of it being completely outlandish and borderline unbelievable. Do they really do everything together?
It’s as if that thought is written all over my face as the smirks grow on the faces of Jimin and Taehyung. “If you don’t want to come to our party for Jin-hyung…”
“Will you come for us?” Taehyung finishes Jimin’s thought, and I am almost certain that he intended for that question to be as suggestive as it sounded.
Before I can even attempt to answer, Seokjin launches up from the ground and barges in between the two boys. “Yah! That is no way to speak to a lady! Have I taught you nothing? Don’t you fools remember lesson number fifty-two on being a good host?”
“We didn’t say anything inappropriate, pres,” Taehyung shrugs, looking pleased with how riled up the older boy is growing. His pink-haired counterpart grins, “If anything, you’re the one with the dirty mind, twisting our innocent words into such filth.”
It’s as if Seokjin is struck by lightning - his shock turning him pale as a ghost before the redness overtakes him. I cannot tell if it’s due to embarrassment or anger. All I know is that I need to bounce.
When Mt. Seokjin finally erupts, I slink away and practically jog across the street to campus. Ah, free at last...
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a/n: this is part one in my host club series! originally i was going to make this a giant one-shot but i figured i would just break it up into smaller pieces so that i could get some content out uwu
© luxekook do not repost, edit or translate
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mrvltwimagines · 4 years ago
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Just Another Day
PLATONIC-ISH COWORKER!SEBASTIAN STAN x READER x (TINY BIT OF) PLATONIC COWORKER!MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER 
SUMMARY: You had gotten too comfortable at your old job where no one noticed anything about you and didn’t think about how hard it would be to hide your ongoing secrets from your new coworkers.
WARNINGS: Domestic Abuse, Mentions of Anxiety
WORD COUNT: 4.4k (whew another long one, oopsies!)
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You knew with starting a new job that some of your secrets would shine through eventually. You were beyond grateful to have gotten this job, even if it was just retail. You had been struggling financially which had taken a toll on your mental health, so working again and knowing you have consistent paychecks coming your way was relieving.
Compared to your previous job, it only took the first day working at this new company to realize how bad you previously had it and how lucky you were to have landed this one. Your coworkers were all so nice, and while the customers you dealt with continuously acted like they were above you, that was just a part of working in retail.
Your anxiety was heightened during the first few days. You didn’t know anyone and you had to go through the constant motions of introducing yourself to anyone and everyone even though the very last thing you wanted to do was draw attention to yourself. The assistant store manager, Sebastian, was always checking in on you, even going as far as to ask how you were feeling mentally being thrown into such a large environment as the new person. You always responded that you were doing fine, but your anxiety was always creeping around the corner. You struggled with controlling your emotions at your previous job, always feeling so unprofessional and naive to cry or get upset when things got too much so you felt as if you needed to make a pact with yourself to not show as much emotion at this new job. 
You had noticed the pattern of male dominance throughout your new job. A lot of the women worked around the front end, leaving you to be one of the few working the floor with mainly men. You tried not to let your nerves show through each time you had to converse with some of the guys. You knew everyone here was going to be professional, but your guard was still up that one of them could act out.
The feeling of your phone continuously vibrating broke you out of your thoughts as you worked on the task at hand. You knew exactly who it was and fought the urge to roll your eyes, but even when you weren’t with him you didn’t do anything that would get you in trouble if you were in his eyesight. Taking a peek around you, you slyly pulled your phone out of your pocket, reading the texts from your boyfriend, most of them not being important but you knew the rule on texting back. Typing out a quick response with little commentary and answers to each of the texts, you slipped your phone back into your work vest.
“You doing alright over here?” you couldn’t help the small jump your body did out of habit while turning around with your hand over your chest. A small chuckle left Sebastian's mouth as he apologized for sneaking up on you. You could feel the heat rising to your face and neck, embarrassed at the thought of what he just witnessed.
“It’s fine, i’m doing fine,” you replied, nodding your head a bit towards what you were working on as if to prove that you were actually doing something productive, “I should easily be able to finish this all before i’m off today.”
“Oh good, thank you,” he smiled, “Just let me or Matthew know if you’re ever getting too overwhelmed and we’ll back off on giving you so many projects.”
“Oh trust me, compared to what i did at my last job, i am completely happy and not overwhelmed here, but thank you anyways.”
Your conversation lasted a few minutes longer before he had to run off to help out in another part of the store leaving you to get back to your task. 
The day flew by and before you knew it, it was the end of your last shift of your first week. You were overall ecstatic about working again and having such an easy going manager. The entire week went by so fast and luckily hasn’t added any more stress to your already stressful life. 
Waving goodbye to a few of your coworkers, you peeked into Sebastian’s office to see him and Matthew having a conversation. You were about to duck back out, but made eye contact with Matthew and he was quick to halt their conversation, waving you in.
“You heading out for the day?” he asked, a small smile gracing his face. 
Sebastian was the one who initially interviewed you for your job. He brought a comforting presence and was a huge reason why you felt it was a no brainer for you to take the job offer. Everyone else you talked to during the hiring process had nothing but kind things to say about him, and within the past week you understood and agreed with all the compliments that were laid upon him. Matthew was a manager you had met on your first day. You didn’t know what to expect out of him, other than the fact that Sebastian had referred to him as the peace making string bean. You initially laughed at that but upon meeting him, it was an incredibly fitting description. You felt no awkwardness or uncomfortableness around him, and thoroughly enjoyed the times you’ve gotten to work with him over the past week.
“Yeah, i’m sorry, i don’t mean to interrupt, i just wanted to wish you both a good weekend,” you retorted. You hadn’t felt much fear while working around all the men you do, but the possibility that either of them could be annoyed or upset that you just interrupted their conversation stuck in your head.
“No need to apologize, thank you, y/n,” Sebastian cut in, “You go have a great weekend, and we’ll see you bright and early on Monday, yeah?” You nodded, sending one last small wave before heading out of the office and the entire building altogether.  
Your smile faded and your nerves began to pick up on your drive home. You knew better than to talk about your new coworkers with your boyfriend, in fear that he’ll get upset that you spend so much time working with mainly other men. You used to find his jealousy endearing, thinking he was just worried to lose you, but it quickly grew tiring and left you feeling guilty and scared.
Your boyfriend had the tendency to not be able to control his anger. You’d been together for close to four years now, and about halfway through that something snapped in him and changed him for the worst. Any little thing could set him off, and while throwing verbal insults at you was his main technique, he has put his hands on you more than you’d like to admit. You felt so trapped and stupid for still being in love with him. You wanted to blame this all on a rough patch and that he was just stressed out, but it’s been a few years now and you’re worried that this is how it’ll always be. You didn’t have anyone else to turn to, and if you two broke up you didn’t know where you’d even go considering there’s no way you could afford to live on your own.
As you approached and parked near your apartment building, you quickly regain your composure and gave yourself a quick pep talk. You’ve got this, just put a smile on your face and hope he’s in a good mood. This weekend doesn’t have to be horrible.
* * *
By time Monday morning came around, more than half of your body was bruised and your confidence was at an all time low. The words your boyfriend yelled at you swam around in your brain, and the pain of the punches, slaps, and kicks he planted on you were felt over your entire body. He’d never been so ruthless when it came to his beatings before and you knew it was because you didn’t shut up about work and he had figured out about how much you work with other men. You just wanted to share how good things were going, but you should’ve known how fast doing that had the potential to upset him.
He had usually been careful to avoid your face, but this time there was a prominent black eye forming and no amount of makeup would cover it so you made sure you had an excuse to give to anyone who asks what happened. You dreaded the conversations that were bound to happen as you walked into work, your anxiety at an all time high at the thought of facing both Sebastian and Matthew. 
The day started off as good as it was going to get. Every time you bent over or extended your body too far you were reminded of every hit your body took. You felt your anger rising every time you winced or had to deeply exhale. Every time something like this happened you always questioned why you put yourself through it but always come back to the two answers: as horrible as it was, you still loved him. You had such good times together and sometimes he just got angry, and most of the time you could find the blame in yourself for making him angry. Also, you were stuck. Even if you didn’t love him anymore and were actively looking for an escape, you wouldn’t be able to afford anything on your own and you would have nowhere to go.
“Y/n?” You winced at Matthew’s voice behind you. You didn’t want to turn around, but you also knew that you would come off as rude and the last thing you wanted to do was make someone else mad.
“Goodmorning Matthew,” you offered back, slowly turning around to face him. You cringed at the look on his face and quickly avoided eye contact.
“I had a couple people inform me that you had a black eye so I wanted to check for myself and lo and behold you do. Are you okay?” He asks. You wanted to laugh at the question, but instinctually nodded.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you quickly answered, “I was cleaning this weekend and slipped while mopping the kitchen. Fell right onto the corner of my counter,” you chuckled, hoping your lie sounded realistic. He eyed you for a second longer, not seeming to buy your excuse. You could feel your heart rate spike and habitually began playing with your nails. He looked down towards your movements before looking back up to make eye contact with you which you held for a few seconds before choosing to look anywhere but his eyes. You cursed at yourself for being so obvious, but you didn’t know how else to act in this situation.
“It looks like it hurts, do you need anything?” He continued. You shook your head no, already knowing you’ve taken enough ibuprofen for the day and even that wasn’t helping too much so you just have to work through the pain.
“I’m fine, promise.”
You could tell by his expression that he was uncomfortable with the conversation and that it clearly wasn’t going the way he wanted it too, but he seemed to let it go for now with a simple “let me know if you need anything, mine and sebastian’s doors are always open” to which you thanked him and turned back around to your task. You could feel his eyes linger on you for a second longer before he walked away. You let out a deep breath, leaning your forehead against the shelf in front of you. You knew you were a horrible liar. You had even practiced for conversations exactly like that and still you sucked at lying. It’s like you couldn’t do anything right.
With one last deep sigh you attempted to get back to work, but your mind wouldn’t stop replaying the conversation over in your head. You thought of all the ways it could’ve gone, and all the other things you could’ve said to seem less suspicious. You cursed at yourself for fucking up yet another thing. 
You avoided eye contact with any other coworkers, and customers after that. Keeping your head down was your best option to not bring any more attention to yourself. Your entire body ached, including the splitting headache that was starting to form from either thinking too hard, or the throbbing that was going on around your eye. Potentially both things at the same time.
You jumped a bit at the sound of your work walkie talkie going off in your pocket.
“Hey y/n, can you come to my office when you get a chance?” The familiar sound of Sebastian's voice rang through the area you stood in. Your heart dropped, the idea of being in a small room with a man not seeming like the best idea, but he was also your boss and you couldn’t just say no.
“Yeah, i’ll be there in just a minute,” you responded, quickly starting to clean up the little mess you had created in your work area before taking your sweet time walking to Sebastian’s office. You know it was ridiculous to even think that he was going to hurt you, but after the weekend you had it was going to take a bit of time to not be uncomfortable around anyone and everyone. 
The sound of both Matthew and Sebastian’s voice rang in your ears as you approached the office. You heard the last bit of what Matthew was saying and instantly had the urge to just run out of the building altogether. 
“I’m telling you Seb, this isn’t a slip-in-the-kitchen black eye, this is a black eye you get when someone punches you. I’m surprised her nose isn’t broken or something.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to cry. You tried to build yourself up, thinking of every excuse you could and practicing every reassuring sentence you could think of that might get them off your back. It wasn’t their business after all, right?
With one last deep breath, you knocked on the cracked open door and slowly stepped through it. Your eyes were instantly drawn to Sebastian and the stern face he held. His eyes scanned your face before unintentionally running down your body as if to look for any other exposed bruises. His face loosened up upon returning back to your frightened gaze.
“Everything okay? Am i in trouble or something?” you asked, looking in between the two men. Your body felt like it was on fire from both the bruises covering it, and the intense gaze you were receiving from both of them. Their gazes softened a bit more at your question as they both shook their heads, shutting down the idea that i was in trouble.
“No, no y/n, you’ve done nothing wrong. I just wanted to check in on you, with this black eye and all. I know Matthew’s already checked in on you, but i just wanted to see how you are doing,” Sebastian spoke up. You looked between the both of them and felt a bit of anger rise at the uncomfortable situation you’ve been put into. You told Matthew you were fine, why couldn’t he have just kept to himself?
“Like i told Matthew earlier, i’m fine, just fell is all,” you retorted, sending a small glance at Matthew hoping he would get the hint that you weren’t too happy about this conversation. 
“Looks like more than a fall,” Sebastian continued to say while standing up to lean against his desk. You unintentionally moved back a bit, not taking much notice of your own actions over your heartbeat being the only thing you could currently hear. Sebastian and Matthew shared a look before Sebastian took a step away from his desk, approaching you a bit more. You flinched and took another step back, accidentally backing right into the doorknob hitting a big bruise that covered your lower back. You couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips as you brought a hand back to cover the spot you had just bumped trying to release some of the pain by rubbing it. 
Sebastian was quick to retreat as he watched you fully flinch away from him. He was more than four feet away from you even when he did take a few steps towards you, but your reaction was enough for him to confirm some of his suspicions. 
“Hey Matthew, do you think we could have the room?” Sebastian asked, getting a curt nod from Matthew as he looked back towards you and offered you a sympathetic smile. Honestly you didn’t want that. You didn’t want anyone's sympathetic or pitiful looks. You deserved everything that happened to you. You could feel tears forming in your eyes and instantly felt shameful. You made a pact with yourself to not show weakness and it’s only taken you a week or so and your emotions are already coming through.
You continuously blinked, willing your tears to go away as you scooted away from the door allowing Matthew to leave the room. Sebastian gestured at a chair near him and you hesitated to take it. You knew it would hurt to sit down and that there was no hiding the grimaces, but the look in Sebastian's eyes let you know that he’s already caught on to a lot of what's going on. 
You approached the chair and slowly sat down, trying to hold back how much pain you felt from putting pressure on the bruise on your tailbone and the one on the back of your left thigh.
“Are you safe?” was the first question he asked you, and before you could even think you habitually nodded. You knew it was a lie, and deep down you knew things were just going to get worse. You’d never seen your boyfriend as mad as he was over the weekend. It was like a constant where he’d just see you and see red. You walked on eggshells all weekend, and even before you left for work today you felt as if you weren’t allowed to take up any space. You were the furthest thing from safe. You looked up and made eye contact with Sebastian and instantly regretted it. The tears that you had managed to push back made their way to your eyes quicker than ever and fell before you had the chance to hide them.
“I’m sorry,” you whimpered out, covering your face. You were humiliated that all of this was going on. You had gotten away with covering bruises and hiding emotions from all your coworkers at your previous job. The attention you were receiving now made you think maybe everyone you previously worked with were just assholes, but also that you would rather be ignored than be seen how you are right now. 
“y/n... why are you apologizing?” he breathed out, scooting his chair a bit closer to yours.
“I made a pact not to cry and here i am a week in and already crying in front of you.” 
“Well you’re clearly crying about something important so why don’t you tell me about that,” you shook your head, looking up at him for the first time since you started crying. You could feel a sob escaping your mouth before you could push it back down while shaking your head back and forth. 
“I can’t tell you,” you sobbed out.
“Listen, I know your outside life isn’t any of my business, but I also care about every employee in this building and seeing you come in with a black eye and clearly other bruises on your body, I’m just worried.”
You sat there for a second contemplating all of your choices. You could continue to lie and push everything back stating that he was indeed right, your outside life was none of his business, or you could tell him the truth and let him in on one of your deepest secrets. You could feel your head pounding, and you could hear your heartbeat grow erratic. Your tears had momentarily stopped but now your entire body was in panic mode. You couldn’t continue to make eye contact with him and instead chose to look down at your hands in your lap. 
“I’ll lose everything. It’s either this or nothing, Sebastian. I’m fine, i’ve been fine,” you offered up. You weren’t lying, but even what you said felt wrong coming out. how did you end up like this? How stupid are you to let yourself get this deep in the abuse and the relationship altogether?
“Hey, please look at me,” he scooted even closer, his knees nearly touching your own. His voice was soft, almost pleading so you gave in and lifted your head. You weren’t used to being talked so gently to, “Is your partner the one doing this to you?” he grimaced a bit at the question, almost like he felt bad even suggesting that incase he was wrong, but the way his body tensed up at your eyes quickly averting away from him you knew he got his answer.
“He loves me. I just do and say things that he doesn’t like,” you shrugged as if what you just said wasn’t a major problem. Your eyes began to fill with tears again and you let out an annoyed huff, “I’m sorry Sebastian, i really shouldn’t be telling you any of this. There’s nothing you can do to help me. I’ve grown used to the fact that i am stuck in my relationship.”
“y/n please look at me,” he asked again, seemingly satisfied when you complied, “just that sentence alone is enough to scare me. A grown man, hell even a child knows not to hit other people. There’s nothing normal about this situation and you need to get out of it. I’m not going to sit here and say it’ll be smooth sailing and that you’ll instantly be happy once it’s over, but for your own safety and livelihood i need you to know that it’s not your fault that he’s hurting you. There’s nothing you could do or say to justify the pain you’re in right now.”
You wanted to fight him on that but the look on his face told you to not even try. He seemed genuinely upset, distraught even. 
“What am i supposed to do?” you ask, throwing your hands up to gesture your frustration. 
“Do you have anyone else you can stay with?” you shook your head no, informing him that the only reason you moved up here was so your boyfriend could get you away from your loved ones. He grunted at that, rolling his chair back so he was back near his desk. He started to search something on his computer and the looks of a hotel made your eyes go wide.
“I can’t put anything like that on my card. He’ll see it and freak.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to pay for this. I’ll pay for it so it’ll have no trace to your name. So there’s your living situation for a while until we can get you something better. I will also happily help you with getting any of your belongings out of your current place. My close buddy is a police here in town and can also accompany us to ensure your absolute safety because there’s no guarantee without him that i wouldn’t beat the shit out of your boyfriend,” he talked so casually like what he was saying wasn’t changing your entire life. You shook your head not being able to wrap your mind around this true chance to get away from your boyfriend. There’s so many things that could go wrong, would all of this be worth it when there’s always that possibility that your boyfriend could absolutely lose it and want to actually kill you? There’s so many stories out there of partners exactly like your boyfriend that won’t take a break up seriously and come back to stalk, hurt and kill their exes. would you end up just another one of those damaged ex girlfriends?
The two of you sat in silence for a minute before he finally looked away from his computer screen and looked at your frightened face. He would never understand how your mind works through this terrible situation but he so badly wanted to help. 
“Why are you willing to help me so much?” You manage to ask. You look up at him and see something flash over his expression before it goes back to being soft. 
“You’re worth more than you think. You’re sure as hell worth more than being beaten down by scum. I care, i know matthew cares, even the others who brought up your black eye to both of us care. You just haven't been shown affection like that in who knows how long and think i’m doing something crazy here when really i just want you to be safe and happy. it’s what any decent human wants for everyone else.”
For the first time in years you had the urge to hug. You wanted to throw your arms around Sebastian and say a million thank yous, but you didn’t want to overstep.
“Sebastian i just - i don’t know what to say,” you chuckled out through the few tears that slipped out. 
“You don’t have to say anything, let’s just talk over this a bit, i’ll give my friend a call and we’ll get a plan set up.” you nodded as you both stood up. Your legs felt weak and the pain of standing straight up was overwhelming but you sufficed through. 
He watched how you moved and a deep frown covered his face. Your previous thoughts of overstepped evacuated your mind and without thinking you couldn’t stop yourself from throwing your arms around him. It took a second for him to register what was going on, but he was gentle to wrap his arms around your back. You felt tense, but the second he reciprocated the hug your body loosened up and a small sense of happiness floated throughout your entire being. Everything was going to change. You were actually going to do this. There was so much that was going to happen, but for the first time in forever you felt relieved so for now, you were just going to embrace that.
A/N - please let me know if i should do another part to this! I do have more ideas for the storyline that would involve more of a relationship between the reader and sebastian, but i don’t want to do it if no one else wants that hahah
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hellpark · 5 years ago
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GREGORY: Oh my, seems Craig’s little online army doesn’t have a care at all that I’ve taken command of his weblog.
GREGORY: Estella, there are people who are actually curious about the true side of things, would you believe that?
ESTELLA: Are you really fiddling around with that stupid thing over there?
ESTELLA: Of course you couldn’t hold back from sating your bloated ego, you needed electronic strangers to help inflate it even further, you limp, detached and wounded tail of a diseased lizard.
GREGORY: Goodness, there are questions regarding both you and I, you know.
GREGORY: I haven’t so much as talked about myself at all, mind you.
ESTELLA: Why are there people attempting to talk to me through that device.
ESTELLA: Are you truly so stupid as to inform everybody of our whereabouts?
GREGORY: Heavens, no.
GREGORY: Just having some fun, is all.
GREGORY: You should join me with this one, spare yourself a moment why don’t you.
ESTELLA: Ugh, if it will get you off my back, fine.
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GREGORY: Now this one asks what our impression of each of those incessant dullards Craig calls friends is.
ESTELLA: All of them are as stale and boring as a long forgotten water biscuit fallen beneath a dumpster.
GREGORY: Right you are.
ESTELLA: Can I get back to what I was doing, now?
GREGORY: Not quite, I think I’d fancy tearing down the walls of each individual here.
GREGORY: It’s only fair that these curious strangers get their just earful.
ESTELLA: [sigh]
ESTELLA: If you insist.
GREGORY: I suppose we might as well start with the most likely focus of interest, the original owner of this log.
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GREGORY: Craig.
GREGORY: You know originally, I didn’t have all too much of an issue with this brain dead husk of a man.
GREGORY: I told him.
GREGORY: If he doesn’t fuck with me, I would have no qualms against him.
ESTELLA: And yet here you are, still plucking splinters from the backside of your head.
GREGORY: I could tell he was going to be a problem from the start, I just figured he’d be too slow and careless to be much of an actual threat.
ESTELLA: I’d almost say it’s adorable how angry you are over such a nuisance of a boy; But you’re far too revolting to ever be adorable, so I will just say it’s amusing.
GREGORY: ...
GREGORY: I don’t like him.
GREGORY: I’ll leave it at that.
ESTELLA: I couldn’t care less for that gelatinous clump of blue ink.
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GREGORY: I suppose next would be his subordinate friend-- Clyde, is it?
GREGORY: The one you stupidly chose to take control of.
GREGORY: Over just about any other candidate.
ESTELLA: I do not need to be reminded.
ESTELLA: He was simply the most emotionally compromised at the time.
GREGORY: It’s become clear that’s just how he always is.
ESTELLA: You sure took your oh so pleasant time getting me out of that putrid cauldron of body odor and unpleasantly placed hair.
ESTELLA: He’s quite revolting when he’s all alone, do you know this?
GREGORY: Do you mean... more so than you find other men to be, or...
ESTELLA: Yes, I do mean more so.
ESTELLA: You have no idea the things I had to sit through with that horrid, small manhooded caveman.
GREGORY: I’m sure.
GREGORY: I have no real feelings towards him either way, though he seems a little too keen on Tweek for my liking.
GREGORY: Or, I should say, Tweek seems a little too trusting of him.
GREGORY: So in turn, I am not too fond of him, either.
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GREGORY: Now, the one I find the most tolerable of the bunch is certainly Token.
GREGORY: I remember him well from when I was still alive.
GREGORY: Truly, if there were anybody to rival Wendy and I’s intellectual abilities together, it would be him.
ESTELLA: Well, he did throw all of us under the bus by telling Damien exactly what we’ve been up to on the surface, so I do not think I can possibly see him in the same light as you.
GREGORY: Oh, well I suppose there is that.
ESTELLA: Other than that, I find him a rather boring, simple minded individual.
ESTELLA: He could die the most foul and upsetting death imaginable, and I would not think any different of him-- same goes for the rest of those boys.
GREGORY: Mm, well, I still think I find him the most bearable of the bunch.
ESTELLA: If you say so, you blood-drunk man loving tick.
ESTELLA: Let’s talk about the best of the bunch, why don’t we?
GREGORY: Oh? Do you suddenly have a favorite?
ESTELLA: Why yes I do.
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ESTELLA: Stan, of course.
GREGORY: Oh. Him.
GREGORY: That thick-headed, good for nothing drain on society...
GREGORY: That’s who your favorite is?
ESTELLA: Yes indeed.
ESTELLA: I just love it when the real you comes out.
ESTELLA: Look at you now. Can’t help your horns from showing, you’re just so upset that anybody could possibly like that van-hit skunk.
ESTELLA: As if I’d actually enjoy him any more than the other bloody idiots.
GREGORY: There are few people more deserving of hell than Stan Marsh.
ESTELLA: I could think of many, but if you take such offense to your own personal death, I won’t stop you from thinking of that.
ESTELLA: My, you’re so much more pleasant to be around when you’re angry...
ESTELLA: My opinion of him is rather neutral, but he’s a man so there isn’t much about him that’s favorable anyways.
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GREGORY: Let’s talk about his counterpart instead.
ESTELLA: And who would that be?
GREGORY: Kyle.
GREGORY: The bloke with the ugly green ushanka.
ESTELLA: Oh, that collapsed anal cavity of a sewer rat.
ESTELLA: The opinionated one who thinks his insufferably bland words actually matter.
ESTELLA: Rather rich, but that’s all I can give him.
GREGORY: He’s always thought of himself as some sort of martyr of first world problems.
GREGORY: I’m sure if he wasn’t so full of himself he’d be less of a drain to talk to.
ESTELLA: Funny, that’s how I feel about you.
ESTELLA: You’re really just describing yourself, you know.
GREGORY: When I fight for justice, I’m not doing it to make myself feel good.
GREGORY: I do it for those who cannot take action themselves.
ESTELLA: Oh, I’m sure you love to tell yourself that.
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GREGORY: Speaking of selfish drains...
GREGORY: It truly shows how utterly stupid all of Stan’s friends are, still hanging around that tub of lard Eric.
ESTELLA: He didn’t really speak much while I was around, so all he is to me is another worthless sausage on a rusted old pan.
GREGORY: All I saw was that he still looks like he’s 10, and certainly still sounds like it.
ESTELLA: Smells like it, too.
GREGORY: I never did like the boy, he completely ruined an entire covert operation, you know?
GREGORY: Directly caused the death of a fellow comrade.
GREGORY: Of course we were all turned back before the war, thus nullifying all of our actions henceforth, but it still stands that the old paranoid fool he killed never quite was the same.
ESTELLA: Oh, let’s not start this conversation again.
ESTELLA: You talked my ear off for days on end the last time I decided to indulge in your simplistic babblings of self-perceived hardship.
GREGORY: Though who I find most interesting throughout all of what we went through was who really saved us all in the end.
GREGORY: I hadn’t seen all too much of him beforehand, yet he sacrificed himself for the entire town over in the end.
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GREGORY: That Kenny fellow...
GREGORY: You know, despite spiking me over the head with that lawn ornament earlier, I don’t really have too harsh a thought on him.
GREGORY: I blame Tweek and Thomas for not warning me more than anything, really.
GREGORY: There’s something about him that seemed all too familiar, though, even as a young adult now...
ESTELLA: I am taking advantage of the fact that you look like you’re lost in your tiny, hollowed out peanut shell of a brain to say that I am leaving now.
ESTELLA: There are better things to attend to.
GREGORY: I can’t even remember how he came back from the dead, he just appeared one day, good as new.
GREGORY: I never knew the original ruler of hell personally, only his son of course, but perhaps there was some sort of additional deal made for him to return to the land of the living once more?
GREGORY: Honestly, this perplexes me severely now that I think about it, and I can’t believe I’ve not thought about it more until now.
GREGORY: Needless to say, this one’s an interesting individual, to say the least.
GREGORY: Definitely not one I’d think to trust any time soon, however. He’s far too... suspicious of a person...
GREGORY: Hmm...
GREGORY: Well-- that’s all of them I suppose.
GREGORY: Though, hmm...
GREGORY: I could have sworn Craig’s friends had one more on their team...?
GREGORY: I wonder where they could be in all of this mess.
GREGORY: ...These are quite fun, I think I may indulge myself in a few more...
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boop-le-snoot · 4 years ago
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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 18
First time reader click here
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TWs/Summary: We stan ✨women in science✨. Bruce uwu. Twitter social media AU nobody asked for. Stephen and Tony are dicks and I'm not talking about their anatomy. Setting up mood for Bruce smut, ngl. PTSD makes things spicy. I'm depressed so please be kind ✌🏻💀🙃
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"I really do wonder how can you two fit those egos of yours in your pants," I kept my tone forcefully casual, cheerful even. "Why don't you just fuck already?"
I was met with stunned silence. Suddenly, the room seemed far too large and the people in much too quiet, staring at me with various expressions of horror obvious in their faces. As the strange friendship began developing between me and the team, my "outbursts" - how Steve liked to call them - lessened considerably. I had no need to provoke them into giving me attention, just striking up a casual chat was enough. The Avengers were great conversationalists, to my surprise.
Tony and Stephen, when paired, were the exception. I could count on one hand the amount of times they successfully came to a conclusion without fighting like cats and dogs. It was like each man had made it a personal mission to verbally top the other, more often than not resulting in a thirty-minute shitshow ending with one storming off in a dramatic flourish. It was mind-boggling how two supremely intelligent men could not find a way to communicate efficiently without infuriating the rest of the team.
Plus me. One way or another, I was almost always around. In the beginning, it was hilarious to see the free circus but it got old really quickly when they couldn't decide on dinner or a movie, leaving the rest of us starving and bored. Or the great Cloak debate - that one lasted days and the fussy thing was so upset, it point blank refused to part from Peter for a substantial amount of time. It's pretty fucking creepy that a semi-sentient, ancient piece of outerwear watches you when you sleep - just sayin'. I personally interjected with my own snark and sass whenever Tony and Stephen got too heated, successfully drawing the attention to myself. The fight broke up and I had amazing sex with Tony later, it was a win-win scenario.
Yet, Tony and Stephen didn't stop. To me, their way of "talking" (and I use that term loosely) looked a lot like unresolved sexual tension. Stephen frequently used his greater height to tower over Tony in a childish attempt to establish dominance; the engineer was no rookie and responded with extravagant peacocking such as "subtly" tapping the bracelet that hosted his nanotech suit or parading at dinner in a $30,000 custom made designer outfit. Because Tony could.
I was pleasantly surprised when Natasha started laughing at my remark. Full-blown, belly laugh. Those were rare, coming from the Widow, her usual mirth was quiet, sophisticated, just like her. Deadly (adorable). Bucky followed suit, snorting together with Clint and Loki.
Steve looked none too pleased with me. But then again, was he ever? "Doll, don't be rude."
"Brat," Bruce said at the same time, palming his face.
"People always call me a brat. And guess what, Steve?" I popped my hip, twirling a cotton candy pink coloured Dum-Dum between my fingers. "What can you do about it? Nothing," I shrugged, leaning my head against Bruce's shoulder affectionately.
Steve just shook his head in disappointment. "Can we get back on topic? Please?"
"Captain, I think that Stark..." Strange began talking with Tony dramatically groaning in the background and I instantly tuned out the useless babble. Steve should've been smarter and revoked speaking rights from Tony and Stephen. Or asked Loki to magically render them both mute for ten minutes.
"You're not wrong," Bruce quietly whispered next to my ear. "Ten bucks says Wanda meddles and those two finally work out their frustrations," The scientist hid a grin against my head. I felt the amused, giddy energy radiating off him like a plasma beam.
"I don't even have to bet," I rolled my eyes. "If she doesn't do it, I will."
Both Tony and Stephen were throwing me equally infuriated glances. One promised me a good, hard fucking and the other saw me a short, poisonous lecture on appropriate behaviour in the nearest future - you can guess which is which. If I had it my way, I'd skip the lecture and go straight to a hot, filthy threesome with two men twice my age. I wasn't blind, Strange was hot as hell and could be decent and even nice once in a blue moon.
He could, but he wouldn't be. I wanted that raw, unadulterated lust, tension so concentrated it walked the razor's edge between violent craving and repulsion. Ever since the incident with Clint, I had this ugly mess inside of me, like a live wire about to snap. My brain was constantly racing, darting between how utterly useless I am in a group of supers and embracing my normal-ness, amplifying it by hosting game nights and spending time trying to convince people to start a dungeons and dragons campaign. Or something.
My sleep was like Swiss cheese, riddled with holes where I stayed awake for one or two hours at a time in the middle of the night after waking up sweaty, with my heart hammering out of my chest. Sometimes I dreamt of Clint's lifeless, sickly white body, sometimes the whole room flooded with blood and I couldn't stop it no matter what, there was so much of it, I drowned in it, I startled up with the taste of it in my mouth. Rarely, the worst of it came - the one where Clint was alive as millions of millions of little fluorescent, poisonous jellyfish burst out of him and he screamed and screamed and screamed...
I had PTSD. Yay, me. As if my uselessness wasn't enough of a burden, my brain decided for me that it wasn't good enough that I saved Clint and now it was punishing me for being close to a group of people who routinely saved the WORLD.
I contemplated my usual habits - going to a party, getting trashed and dancing until my legs were numb. I just wanted to shut my brain off for a moment, give it a hard reset so-to-say, but with Tony on my back like a jet-pack, I didn't doubt he'd show up to the place and drag me out of there even if I was kicking and screaming. And he was a Stark, a billionaire, so visiting my dad in Cali wouldn't be possible on my own. Tony would gas up the jet and the rest of the team would find and excuse to tag along, too. As much as I loved being the baby menace who could get away with anything, I hated the way they all herded me, like I was an actual child. I couldn't get away from myself, not even for a moment.
I had the backup-backup plan and I was going to have to execute it. Desperate times, desperate measures. "I don't doubt y'all enjoy listening to Tony and Steph flirt," The nickname escaped unmoderated from my lips before I could catch myself. "But what are we doing for Halloween? I need to know if I gotta get a costume," Bruce chuckled next to me and wrapped an arm around me, happy for the distraction. Unlike me, the scientist was obligated to listen and participate in the avengers-themed discussion. Which was difficult because the engineer and the sorcerer constantly bickered, inadvertently taking over the talk.
"Halloween?" Steve groaned.
"We should do something," Bucky side-eyed his boyfriend. "For the children." Something told me he wasn't thinking of the children, at all. The man was positively leering, probably thinking about what kind of a tight suit he could convince Steve to squeeze into.
"A party!" Tony immediately exclaimed, interrupting Stephen mid-setence.
"Tony, no," Steve stated firmly.
"Tony, YES!" Clint perked up. "A snack bar. A bar-bar."
"I will not be helping you all if you get alcohol poisoning," Stephen crossed his arms.
"So it's a party," I stated firmly, throwing a contemplating look at Wanda and Pietro. The twins looked unsure but excited. I knew I could count on fellow young people to support my decision to have fun, dance a little, drink a little. Let loose. To nail my point, I turned to Bruce with a mischievous smirk. "Fifty bucks says Stephen is too stuck up to show up in costume."
"Beg pardon?!" The sorcerer exclaimed. His eyebrows threatened to meet his hairline.
"I think you give him too little credit, Princess," Bruce winked at me and we solemnly shook hands. It was great having a fellow partner in mischief. Loki's approving smirk just sealed the deal for me.
"It's not my fault you sometimes act like you have a stick up your butt," I gave in the way of explanation, shrugging my shoulders innocently in Stephen's direction. "I'm just pointing out the obvious."
"I don't dare to imagine what's been up yours," The sorcerer retorted dryly, in an uncharacteristically childish fashion, arms still crossed. It almost looked like he was pouting.
"Tony," I simply said, leering salaciously at the man.
"Ooh, kinky," Clint reached over and we promptly high-fived each other in the wake of multiple embarrassed groans emanating around the room. "Strange, you're a boring old man, get over it."
"And you regularly end up in dumpsters, Barton," Strange retorted quickly. "Not my idea of fun."
"You wouldn't know fun if it hit you in the face!" Tony grinned triumphantly, confident in his superiority over Strange. Look at that, the team was doing the work for me and I didn't even have to try.
"I'll show you fun," Stephen retorted darkly. It was obvious the man was planning something.
"Ok, boomer," I raised my eyebrows in muted satisfaction before turning around and grabbing Bruce to drag along with me. "I'm confiscating your best scientist to amuse myself. I am bored. We will go and do actual science whilst y'all argue. Bye."
My patience had run out. We were examining the parasites we found in the murder-anthropods-from-space, codename MAFS, courtesy of yours truly, and their amazing properties to penetrate cell membranes and feed on metals in organic life forms. Without Bruce's help I understood maybe half of it but he had the patience of a saint and dutifully and understandably explained to me the finer points of studying aliens. Signing half a dozen NDAs was never more worth it.
Steve's sigh consisted of 99% suffering and 2% disappointment. Natasha face-palmed silently in the corner, clutching a mug of coffee, a poster child for existential dread.
"Wait for me," Tony whined, going for the door and promptly being stopped by Steve pointing out the team needing his input on one mission or another. The engineer sighed. "Baby girl, don't let the green mean to start any experiments without me." Tony instructed, pointing an accusatory finger in our direction.
I clutched at Bruce dramatically, feigning hurt feelings and was rewarded with a swift motion of his arms. I shrieked delightfully at being thrown over the scientist's shoulder as he hastened his pace towards the elevator, hightailing it out of there. "I'd never snitch on science daddy," I wiggled my eyebrows in Tony's direction, sticking a hand down the back pocket of Bruce's pants, dangling over his shoulder like a happy sack of potatoes.
The lab smelled strongly of alcohol and bitter chemicals, the solution that Bruce developed to ensure the optimal state of the alien pathogens. The man's genius never ceased to amaze me: Bruce came up with the needed formula in the span of a few hours while running low on sleep, post a Hulk-out session.
We put on our protective gear - "science onesies" I called them - along with a respirator and goggles and set to the segregated part of the lab where the specimens were kept under a blue light. The glass wall between Bruce's and Tony's lab was dimmed; I reflected in it, looking positively futuristic in my double-stacked white platformed boots and white hazmat suit.
"Wait," I motioned to Bruce to come over.
"Oh, right, our music," He was already half-way to being in total Science Mode. "Friday, please put on the "Get Schwifty" playlist, 60% volume."
The playlist that me and Bruce came up with for our lab sessions. The man was such an adorable dork. Thirty percent my music, thirty percent of his indie rock shit and forty percent 00's bops. In other words, utter perfection.
I finally managed to fish out my phone from my pants. "No, let's take a selfie," I struck an impressive pose and pointed the camera as Avril Lavigne sung the first verse to Sk8r Boi.
Bruce laughed but abided by the request, giving me bunny ears in the photo, tapping the fingers of his other hand on my waist to the rhythm of the song.
"He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy!" I sang along, switching my Instagram to stories and posting the short clip of us just vibing with the caption #sciencetime, Bruce laughing openly behind his respirator. I looked cute and silly in my outfit.
"Send the video to me, I'll post it on my Twitter," Bruce requested. I indulged him then put my phone away, ready to conquer the world of microbiology. Or die trying. Science was calling...
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THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie
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sassy-pelican · 4 years ago
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Caught
Paring: Sebastian Stan x Reader
Premise: Seb catches the garter. You catch the bouquet. 
Warnings: a lesbian wedding, language, um age gap (no specefic’s mentioned but reader and one bride are younger), allusions to sexy times
A/N: This was based on a private request. My first ever! Also, we are going to pretend this is not happening in the midst of a pandemic and Seb and Reader aren’t idiots who are going to a large wedding during this time. 
I have been to exactly one wedding. And I don’t remember any of it. Singing also results in people thinking I’m crying so … I don’t know how to do that. We’re also pretending that this is a lesbian wedding (beacuse representation y’all) with a butch wife and girly wife because I live for that asthetic (not because I want a butch girlfriend or whatever or sometimes want to be the butch girlfriend, definely not that). Basically I have been given permission to write my dream lesbian wedding and I am running with it. I’m naming the couple but if you wish to pretend it’s something different go right ahead.
I also don’t know what kind of music is sung at weddings so I am picking my own kind. The song the reader is singing is More Than Words by Little Mix (with pronoun adaptations). 
So this kinda ran away from me and I certainly didn’t intend for this to have as many sexual jokes and situations that it does but it happened. 
This is unedited. Enjoy.
“Sebastian Stan x (non actress)reader where they met at their common friend's wedding and reader was the wedding singer as well, and for some fate Seb caught the garter and reader caught the bouquet”
Tagging: @cap-n-ce​​ becasue this wonderful human requested this.
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Considering that Natalie and Kate told you this wedding was only close friends and family you were surprised to see over a hundred people there. It wasn’t a problem really, just not what you were expecting. Even at the rehearsal there weren’t this many people. 
“You’ll be fine,” your bandmate and fellow singer tonight, Steph says. “You always are.”
“I know.”
“You’ve got the song down and they love you. Natalie wouldn’t have asked you to do this if she didn’t believe in you fully.”
“It’s not them I’m worried about. Natalie and Kate will be fine no matter what, nothing phases them. The crowd is a different story.”
“The actual wedding is over, it’s just the reception now,” she says. “The hard part’s over.”
You roll your eyes. She is right. You’d already done the important stuff during the ceremony, which was more beautiful than you ever imagined. Everything decked out in pinks, purples, and blues, or as they called it - a pastel rainbow. You thought the colorful bottom of the dress and lapels of Kate’s suit were a nice touch. 
“Let’s kill it,” Steph says. 
“Let’s.”
Stepping out from behind the curtain, preparing for their first dance you. Steph’s words ring out as you sing harmony, filling the background as the music plays. Every eye either on you two or the bride and bride. 
“When the sea, when the seasons change and the and the sun shines on-on your face yeah, I-I-I’ll be there with you, you you, you,” the words fall from your lips perfectly. 
Steph looks to you as she sings, “You’re a part, you’re a part of me now ju-ju-just as mu-mu-much as I’m a part of you.”
Facing the dancing couple, both beaming, you continue to sing, this time together. “I find peace in every story you told. I think of you, I’ll never be alone. It’s true, true, true. You know I do, do, do.”
“Oh, I need you more than words can say. Girl, you save me in ways that I can’t explain. Always been there for me, now I’ll do the same. Oh, I need you more than words can say.”
“Won’t forget, won’t forget, won’t forget when she bro-o-oke my heart. Ho-o-ow you helped me through,” Steph sings, the dance slowly becoming more free. 
“You turned, you turned, you turned a disaster into a dream. Gave me the power, made my life band ne-e-ew,” you sing. 
“When the world try to break us, we found magic. And we grew stronger, through every line, line, l-line, line, line,”
“Every night, every night, every night I’ll stand and sing with you. Now-now they know they gon’ be alright, alright,” by now the lyrics are flowing from your lips with ease. Both you and Steph are dancing as you belt out the song. 
“I find peace in every story you told. I think of you, I’ll never be alone. It’s true, true, true. You know I do, do, do.
“Oh, I need you more than words can say. Girl, you save me in ways that I can’t explain. Always been there for me, now I’ll do the same. Oh, I need you more than words can say.”
“I found peace in every story you told,” Steph sings. 
“I think of you, I’ll never be alone.”
“Oh, it’s true.”
“You know I do,” you sing. 
“Oh, I need you more than words can say. Girl, you save me in ways that I can’t explain. Always been there for me, now I’ll do the same. Oh, I need you more than words can say.”
“Oh, I need you more than words can say,” you finish.
~~~
As Kate bends down to peel the garter off her now wife, you catch someone looking at you. Sure, you knew they invited him, but just coming off a high from the song you didn’t notice him before now. Sebastian Stan was eye candy in every sense of the word. Natalie even admitted to both you and Kate that if she liked men, he’d be her type. 
Still, even hearing the embarrassing stories Kate had from when they grew up, long before you and Natalie even entered the picture, didn’t deter you from your crush. Of course it didn’t help that you were half in love with James Barnes. 
“He’s watching you,” Steph whispers in your ear, to which you twitch. 
“Fuck you,” you hiss “You know I hate it when you do that.” She knew you hated when people whispered in your ear, it tickled and you hated being tickled.
“I bet you’d like it if he did it,” she teases. “Maybe while fucking you.”
You glare at her. “I’m trying to enjoy my two sexy friends having a sexy moment in front of a crowd.”
“Maybe if you weren’t so preoccupied with that,” Steph quips. “You’d be having hot wedding sex in the bathroom.”
“Hey!” you whisper-yell, “I’m only a slut sometimes.”
Kate tossed the piece of fabric and elastic in the blink of an eye, all while Natalie looked on with a slightly dazed look in her eyes, and you know that whatever took so long wasn’t innocent. It doesn’t escape your notice that Sebastian casually catches the garment and winks at you. If you weren’t a strong independent woman, you might have melted. As it was, your knees felt weak. 
“Time for the bouquet!” Natalie yells, and you sigh. Personally you never got much out of the garter and bouquet tradition. It didn’t mean anything, not really. It was just a stupid thing to put pressure on people to get married. 
Standing in the back of the crowd of guests waiting impatiently for the flowers to become airborne, you hope it never reaches you. You can feel Sebastian’s eyes on you as you take your place though, and you can almost feel the disappointment in his gaze. 
They’d told everyone upfront that the lucky ‘winners’ of the tosses were to dance together at the party. And you wanted to dance with Sebastian, just not because of a stupid game. You wanted to do a lot more than dance with him if you were being honest. 
You see it enter your peripheral vision and before you can think, you put your hand up. Fingers clasp around the group of stems making up the bouquet. Shit. Smirk adorning his face, Sebastian walks up to you. 
“Think that’s our cue,” he says, leading you out to the dance floor, where Kate and Natalie are already starting to dance again. Everyone starts to disperse, as the brides stare you down, waiting expectantly.
“Think you can keep up Stan?”
“Think you can?”
~~~
He was right. You could hardly keep up with him. You’d lost count of the dances you had with him. It seemed like he refused to dance with anyone else and didn’t seem keen on giving either of you a break. 
“Sebastian,” you gasp. “I need to sit down.”
“Can’t keep up?” he teases, pulling you close, hand brushing the top of your ass. 
“Hell no,” you admit. “I don’t know what Marvel puts in your workouts but it’s more than what’s in mine.”
He throws his head back and laughs, the sound as melodic as any music you sing. And suddenly all you want to do is lick up the column of his throat. 
“Alright,” he concedes. 
You pull off your heels as you sit on one the unoccupied chairs lining the walls. “You know, for an old man you’re very spry.”
“Pulling that card are you?”
“Yep,” you reply, rubbing your feet. 
“Let me,” he says, offering his own hands, much larger than yours to massage the knots out. You would never ask, but given that he’s offering, you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. 
A few kneads in and a very sexual moan slips out of your mouth. 
“Have a fetish you don’t know about?” he teases, still massaging. 
“No,” you say, trying not to moan again. “My feet just really hurt. If you ever try to rub my feet while we fuck I will kick you out.” Your eyes shoot open, realizing what you said. 
“Planning on fucking me are you?”
You can’t gage the look on his face. “Um … I’m sor-”
“Good,” he says, setting your foot down and pulling your chair closer to his. “I was planning on fucking you too.”
The air around you is charged with sexual energy. “Think it’d be rude if we left?” you ask him. 
“If you don’t I’m going to gag,” Steph says from the chair behind you and you can’t stop the laugh from coming out. 
Sebastian just sits there, pure shock on his face. “Well don’t stop the sexy talk on accound of me,” she says, “I’m not shy about being a voyeur.”
“Steph!” you scold. 
“Oh fine,” she says. “But I come back and you’re both here,” she wiggles her eyebrows before leaving you alone with a shell shocked Sebastian. 
“So,” you say, biting your lip. “Want to take her advice, minus the voyeur part?”
“Only if you can keep up this time,” he says, slipping out of his awkward stupor faster than you could imagine. 
“Guess we’ll find out.”
2 Years Later
“You know,” you say as Sebastian looks at you from between your legs. “I never would have agreed to go home with you if I knew it’d lead me here.”
“Where, our wedding?”
“Damn right,” you say. “If I had it my way, we’d be going to the courthouse.”
“Yes, babe I know,” he says. “But let me take this off with my teeth will you, everyone is staring.”
“Oh fine,” you say. “But I am going to throw that bouquet with hate not love.”
“Yes dear,” he mocks you. Both of you know every word is a lie, but it helps your nerves. Having him this close to where you’re aching for him in front of a crowd, Steph smirking the entire time at you while Natalie and Kate beam, is a lot. 
You bite back a gasp as he presses his face against you, kissing you lightly where you want him for hours, before moving down to take the elastic band off. “Fuck you Stan,” you whisper through your teeth. 
“You will be,” he whispers. “Mrs. Stan.”
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bitchybutcher · 3 years ago
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Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:
-        Gird your loins
-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir
-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral
-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse
-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL
-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin
-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin
-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again
-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over
-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO
-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL
-        Aw Kimiko is learning
-        Her lil smile
-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar
-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers
-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs
-        Oh nooooo young love angst
-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident
-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested
-        A nice archer bailed him out
-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment
-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk
-        Oh fuck he is
-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER
-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice
-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick
-        OH FUCK
-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck
-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel
-        WHAT
-        What the fuuuuuck
-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute
-        Oh shit smuggled people
-        Homelander is nuts with power
-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps
-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows
-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca
-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING
-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him
-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr
-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him
-        Stormfront seems like fun
-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already
-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED
-        I like Stan
-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs
-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else
-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better
-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS
-        “Daddy’s home”
-        I’m dead. It’s official.
-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead
-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING
-        Is he making shroom tea
-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful
-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good
-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills
-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy
-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend
-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling
-        Homelander is a terrible father
-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes
-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa
-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store
-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone
-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY
-        Oh shiiiiiiiit
-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE
-        You were right this season is weird
-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket
-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf
-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice
-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute
-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch
-        The kid’s a dandelion omg
-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?
-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary
-        He’s completely insane
-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder
-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man
-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING
-        Or possibly laughing
-        Hard to tell when they have no face
-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her
-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE
-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly
-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie
-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF
-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT
-        Oop there’s the laser eyes
-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out
-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE
-        Hughie don’t do it
-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat
-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something
-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics
-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!
-        He’s hopeless
-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin
-        OH FUCK A WHALE
-        For fuck sake Kevin
-        Ewwwww
-        Butcher what the fuck
-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale
-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood
-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question
-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale
-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick
-        OH NO
-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down
-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good
-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught
-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok
-        OH FUCK
-        ANNIE WHY
-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE
-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK
-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman
-        Poor Kimiko
-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?
-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs
-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING
-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis
-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish
-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger
-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is
-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit
-        I feel so bad for Annie
-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired
-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂
-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love
-        Vending machine date so cute
-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo
-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her
-        I feel bad for Butcher
-        Homelander is a scary good liar
-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions
-        OH FUCK
-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE
-        Poor Maeve what the fuck
-        Ugh Stormfront
-        Shut your racist hole bitch
-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath
-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help
-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode
-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck
-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY
-        Stormfront is like 70????
-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird
-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed
-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child
-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over
-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT
-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH
-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA
-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk
-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic
-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??
-        Also this most recent one is super weird
-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE
-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg
-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT
-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again
-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting
-        ….
-        WHAT THE SHIT
-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest
-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up
-        This is super weird
-        Why is Homelander crying
-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM
-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie
-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose
-        “Strong female lesbians”
-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get
-        I feel bad for Ashley
-        She just wants to do her job well
-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken
-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it
-        Oh no what’s he gonna do
-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT
-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still
-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone
-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE
-        Aww he called Hughie his canary
-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?
-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED
-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE
-        Doggiiiiie
-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog
-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb
-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife
-        This is so cringe holy fuck
-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills
-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton
-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE
-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house
-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute
-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig
-        Why is there a sniper on the roof
-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir
-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend
-        Oh hey it’s dickless
-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating
-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit
-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass
-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired
-        He needs a hug
-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please
-        Why is Kimiko in a church
-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend
-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair
-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”
-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko
-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin
-        Stormfront again?????
-        Does this bitch ever fuck off
-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE
-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech
-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it
-        OH FUCK
-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected
-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming
-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress
-        I adore grumpy Butcher
-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her
-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown
-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????
-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good
-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good
-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE
-        Oop Lenny is dead
-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps
-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone
-        YES MM
-        OH NO MM
-        YES HUGHIE
-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher
-        Shiiiit shit shit shit
-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie
-        Oh good they all survived
-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit
-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult
-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it
-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum
-        What the fuck is Sage Grove
-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks
-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again
-        Uhhhhhhh
-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting
-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship
-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they
-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough
-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw
-        Ohhh the chip
-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW
-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip
-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream
-        Well that’s suitably gross
-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie
-        Butcher is so menacing I love him
-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute
-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT
-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle
-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD
-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone
-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO
-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital
-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER
-        Oh shit who got let out
-        What does Cindy do
-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER
-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out
-        Good job, guys
-        Ewwwwww acid vomit
-        OH NO HUGHIE
-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??
-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that
-        Aha Butcher agrees with me
-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set
-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?
-        Atrain get outta there
-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole
-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game
-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times
-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair
-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy
-        Oh shit a baby seat
-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now
-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident
-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing
-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it
-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she
-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him
-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt
-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane
-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?
-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa
-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY
-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive
-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice
-        I hate Annie’s mom so much
-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie
-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂
-        Oh shit his dad died
-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn
-        Oh boy a racist rally
-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus
-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk
-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed
-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE
-        Oh shit it’s Denethor
-        And he’s not dead
-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?
-        Shit Lenny shot himself
-        Butcher was SAS???
-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM
-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid
-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard
-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language
-        Is this a cult birthday party?
-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated
-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?
-        Good for him
-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice
-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me
-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself
-        Poor Hughie
-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter
-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!
-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE
-        YAY MAEVE
-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness
-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life
-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still
-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom
-        Hughie and Annie are too cute
-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything
-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA
-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE
-        Butcher in his lil jumper
-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird
-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB
-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY
-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas
-        And typical
-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them
-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy
-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches
-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice
-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink
-        She’s not wrong
-        Oh fuck off Becca
-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult
-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that
-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress
-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown
-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving
-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun
-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE
-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute
-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit
-        Ahahaha the news broke
-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander
-        OH SHIT
-        MM BETTER BE OK
-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying
-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING
-        It’s adorable but still
-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck
-        She’ll be fine
-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down
-        AYYYYY MAEVE
-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh
-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye
-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront
-        Good for him
-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO
-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA
-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked
-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German
-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to
-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7
-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again
-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults
-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft
-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all
-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”
-        Aww happy endings for all the boys
-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it
-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise
-        HIS HEAD BURST
-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused
-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am
-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him
-        Too bad it’s with the head burster
-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with
-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess
-        Should I sleep or find fic to read
-        Body says sleep, heart says fic
-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher
-        ….Butcher fics it is
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cherriesradio · 3 years ago
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Hello! This is Cherry on the first episode of, Me ranting about how misogynistic, racist, homophobic and transphobic different people in my family are !!! ^-^ On this episode we are covering, their misogy!!!
also this is half me ranting, half me commenting on how cishet white men don’t see the problems in their way of thinking! Feel free to add commentary on this (cough cough @artof-apollo ? Maybe? Cough cough) , and all of this is from a first hand perspective. (long post)
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M = mom D = dad
YB = brother a year older than me (adoptive) OB = second to oldest brother (adoptive)
B = oldest (adoptive) brother
P = biological brother, oldest of all brothers (yes I am the youngest of the family)
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“Housewife.”
My first memory of OB saying this is when we were eating dinner, talking about M. His own fucking mother. I can’t quite remember why he was calling her a housewife but she was bothered by it and told him to stop, but he didn’t. Being the eight year old I was at the time, who also saw OB as “cool” and “very smart”, thought this was funny. M told D to tell him to stop, but going along with the “listen to your mother” stereotype, he merely said “boys, stop calling M a housewife.” (He’s better now, don’t worry. We stan present D)
And then, this very night, while I was moving pillows from the floor so I could sweep, he (OB) moved from the couch saying “ima move, I’m not a housewife.” THIS SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD JUST INDIRECTLY CALLED HIS LOWER TEENS “SISTER” A FUCKING HOUSEWIFE. HE CALLED ME A HOUSEWIFE.
I don’t need to explain how fucking wrong that is.
Every wonder why women are upset about how little female CEO’s there are?
Body hair.
When I was around 9-10, me, YB, OB, B, dad and grandpa all went to the beach for a week during the summer. One of the very few memories I have of this vacation was playing in the pool with YB. Now, we’ve never gotten along, hell he still won’t even sit next to me. This was one of the very few times that we got along and enjoyed each others company.
We were just throwing a beach ball back and forth, and he felt the need to comment on how I hadn’t shaved my armpits. Yeah I had been given a razor but I never shaved. I started shaving for the first time when we got home.
Every wonder why women shave?
Secret catcalling.
That might not be the best thing to call it but it’s all I can think of right now.
When my family was walking back to the car from YB’s orchestra rehearsal OB called one of the older girl in the orchestra hot. He was sixteen at the time, she was in eighth grade, therefore 13-14.
When we were driving home from a fancy dinner with B and his girlfriend, OB pointed out a women who looked about 15-17 years old walking on the sidewalk with her boyfriend (holding hands, got a flash of him kissing her cheek) and said she “had cake.”
When OB was helping me with virtual school on my first day he called my second period teacher hot. She’s in her thirties.
There were too many times I sat in the car beside them or walking right behind them, holding M’s hand while they talked about how hot random girls on the street were.
Ever wonder why women are scared to walk down the street alone?
Weight comments.
(TW!!: eating disorder mention, weight comments, vomit mention, very personal, feel free to skip this portion)
When I was about nine or ten I would always have a small bag of popcorn when I got back from school, since I was usually starving. (Barely ate any of lunch since school lunch was gross.) OB told me to stop and that I was going to get fat.
When I was twelve a new bakery opened around my area. My dad got four things of ice cream and four of their big cookies. He said each of us (brothers me and him, M was on a trip) could have one thing of ice cream and a quarter of each cookie. I didn’t know either of these because I forgot quickly, most likely because of adhd or something. I ate two of the ice cream things and two more of the cookie quarters than I should’ve.
The next night while we were eating dinner they brought this up and I apologized. I apologized dozens of times, I was and still am very apologetic. YB said that I shouldn’t be aloud to have sugary food for a few weeks. He kept repeating why I was horrible for this. D didn’t even try to stop him.
I went and stayed in the bathroom all of dinner. Didn’t eat dinner at all that day. All I ate was a small bowl of animal crackers, tried so hard to throw them up.
And what was filling my mind while hiding in the bathroom from my own fucking family? “If you don’t eat, you won’t get in trouble.” I was twelve. Wanted a fucking eating disorder. I was twelve.
Ever wonder why women get eating disorders?
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