#WHAT WAS INT HE AIR THAT NIGHT HUH

[wheeboo]

babes come get your man

TOMO WHY WOOLD U FCKIFNG DO THIS TO ME ?!\€|€€]**]’&/:;):$$:&:&:&

HES SO FUCKING FINE IM GONNA SCTEAM

[toruro]

I REQUEST NASTY DIGUSTING SLIGHTLY WEIRD AND OFF PUTTING JIHOON SMUT THIS INSTANT

maybe like hate sex and they're really going at it and jihoon is kind of (really) a dick but the reader loves it and they're both possessive okay bye

or a/b/o

side by side

pairing. jihoon x reader tags. smut (18+ / minors dni), implied enemies & fwb au, bulge kink, creampie w/c. 1.4k (what the heck this wasn't supposed to be more than 500 words) a/n. ur targeting me bc i love mean men and this is only encouraging me

"say it again," he grunts from behind you, the words rumbling from deep in his throat. his voice is low and gravely, and the harshness of his tone has your stomach churning in a way that you don't want to unpack.

"missed this—" you choke out, body throttling as you brace yourself against the armrest of the sofa, shoving your face into the cushions. "missed it so-o-o much," you whine as jihoon's grip hardens on you. you're sure his knuckles are white, and you're even more sure that you'll have bruises all over in the morning.

"bet you did," he grunts, punctuating the words with a sharp thrust at the end, the skin on your ass burning at the contact. "missed my cock so much you had to hang off of soonyoung like a fucking pet to get my attention, huh?"

"'m sorry," you hiccup as jihoon's powerful snapping of his hips sends you deeper into the cushions. faced pressed into the sofa, your drool and tears staining the cloth. "'m so sorry," you try to repeat when he doesn't relent with his face, seemingly fucking into you harder as you gasp out the words.

there's something that burns behind his eyes when jihoon sees you like this; knowing that you can run your mouth all you want around your friends, being all coy with your deceivingly shy smiles and batting eyelashes, but at the end of the day he's the one who gets to see you like this.

this being the way your body seems to bend to jihoon's very touch (when he brushed a thumb against your bottom lip the first time and you swallowed him right in, swirling your thumb all over the finger), the way the only words you seem to know are a string of curses and his name ("ji-jihoon—ah, fuck ..."), the way you take everything he gives you.

who would've guessed that the person who couldn't seem to dislike jihoon enough was the same person crying under him every night. it enthralls him, how much power over you jihoon has.

(he ignores how every time you whine his name, he get's pushed closer and closer to his relief. he ignores how his heart melts just a little when you pull him down into a ravaging kiss. jihoon ignores the hold you've got over him too.)

"are you? are you sorry? seemed like you were having fun with 'soonie'," jihoon recalls when he slips out of your hot cunt, a series of incoherent whines and complains slipping from your lips at the feeling of being empty.

"jihoon," you drawl out, wiggling your ass back as you dumbly try to chase any sort of friction you can get, but jihoon's not having any of it as he pins you down with his hand. "fuck, i'm sorry ... i really really am," you choke out, as jihoon yanks you down the length of the couch and flips you over so you're laying on your back.

"really?" jihoon asks, and you can finally see his face—the way his eyebrows furrow together and sweat beads down his forehead. the way his lips are flush and mouth slightly open as he pants for air. it's beautiful, and for a second you realize you feel too much, and focus back on the feeling of his fat cock prodding slipping through your folds. "or would you rather be with 'soonie,' right now?"

"no!" you protest immediately, wrapping your legs around his torso as an attempt to ground jihoon in place. "only you, only want you," you pant, lifting your hips to meet his cock halfway as he finally pushed into you. "please jihoonie?" you coo, letting your eyes well up with tears once more, but this time out of pure frustration and desperation.

jihoon's got his arms on either side of your head, sharp gaze boring into yours as you blink rapidly, and something flashes in his expression before he furrows his eyebrows and pulls his hips back.

the feeling of being so full suddenly going to painfully empty is dizzying, and as your vision begins to grow foggy, jihoon scoffs, "you think you can just bat your eyelashes and cry a lil and i'll fuck you?"

when you don't respond, merely lolling your head to the side as you look up at him with pleading eyes and a pouty lip, jihoon slips away from all self control and jams his cock into you. "jihoon!" you mewl, thighs spread up higher against your chest as his weight presses into you, cock so deep in your cunt you think you might feel him in your tummy. "jus' like tha—oh, yea-ah jus' like that ..."

"feels good?" jihoon grunts, but doesn't give you the chance to respond so he can smash his lips into yours, tongues mingling in a hot mess of love and anger and lust all at once. jihoon's left hand runs over your waist as kisses you, cock fucking in and out of you with long and powerful deep thrusts. his paws at your tits occasionally, flicking over the nipples and kneading into the soft flesh while he swallows up your moans with his tongue. it's only when his fingers finally smooth over your stomach when jihoon freezes as he's balls-deep inside of you.

"n-no," you cry out, fruitlessly trying to squirm beneath his weight, but jihoon's still on top of you. "please," you choke out, "please don't stop jihoonie—"

"fuck," jihoon finally groans, cutting you off with a shallow but fulfilling thrust, eyes trained on watching your stomach as he does so. you're about to whine and tell him to fuck you harder, but for a moment you watch his face flush and muscles twitch, and you curiously follow his gaze.

you don't expect find is the imprint of jihoon's cock against your stomach.

"oh," you breath out, watching as jihoon takes your hand gingerly and presses it agains the bump at the base of your tummy. gently, he throws in an experimental thrust, and for a moment the bulge disappears before you feel it reappear. "oh—jihoonie, fuck ... s'deep," you moan as his thrusts begin to regain their original vigor.

you feel something different with the way jihoon fucks you. it's difficult to articulate into words because he's fucking your brains out at this point, but there's a fire behind each thrust that has you moaning at the top of your lungs.

jihoon's fucking into you with harsh and calculated snaps of his hips, watching the way his cock bulges against your tummy, groaning under his breath. "needed me so much, huh? had to make room for me and my cock, didn't you?"

the way you struggle to responds spurs jihoon on. he's drunk on you; he'd hate to admit it but you've grown on him. it'd be a problem, he vaguely thinks, but when you begin to babble about how you "love his cock, love him," jihoon realizes that it's not really a problem at all. fuck. he can unpack his feelings later, but right now, he needs to lose himself to you.

"good baby," he coos finally, bringing down a hand to rub against your clit. "g'na cum soon, right?"

"yeah," you nod your head vigorously, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him back down for a messy set of kisses. "cum w'me, jihoonie," you mutter against him.

"fuck," and the way jihoon whines the curse has you writhing against the sofa. "fuck yeah, you'll let me cum in you, right baby? g'na let me make you mine, yeah?"

"yea-ah, please," you grunt against him as your body lurches back and forth and the increasing force of his thrusts. "'m so close," you continue as your vision starts to blur and your ears begin to rush.

"shit, me too just—fuckin' perfect pussy every," he groans, and with one final, sharp thrust jihoon's spilling inside of you. the feeling of his hot cum painting your walls white in thick, heavy spurts has your own orgasm crushing down on you, spasming around jihoon as he shallowing continues to thrust and ride out your highs.

you chant a mantra of his name as your vision blurs white and you pant for air, him flopping down onto your chest as he stills inside of you. jihoon can think about his feelings later, but for now, he revels in the feeling of you murmuring his name as you doze off under him.

[agroteraa]

Watermelon Sugar

Oliver Quick x f!Reader

My fic masterlist

Summary: Just a slice of hot summer in Saltburn.

Actaeon series spin-off, taking place between Artemis and The Wrath of the Stag.

Warnings: smut, fingering, handjob, finger sucking.

Word Count: 3,2K

Almost two weeks had passed after the karaoke night events. It was a sultry August noon, and you were reading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" by the pool. You were lying on your stomach on a lounger, dangling your feet in the air and eating triangularly sliced pieces of watermelon. Time seemed to freeze and melt in this heat, and at that moment it felt like that summer would never end. That would be perfect.

Oliver sauntered over to the pool, topless, his T-shirt on his shoulders. There you were.

You were so engrossed in reading that you didn't hear him approach. Besides, he came unnoticed. As always.

Your legs swung back and forth in the air alternately exposing your buttocks, slightly peeking out of your colorful swimsuit.

Oliver swallowed involuntarily. He leaned against the nearest wall, clutching the ends of his blue T-shirt tightly in his hands. He loved every inch of your body, but he was already beginning to realize that your ass was especially driving him crazy. He was a booty man and never missed a chance to put his hand on top, squeeze or kiss it. Or better to do everything at once. And sometimes even give it a little slap. He was thinking more and more often that maybe he should try to go a little bit further with that and see your reaction. At that thought, he shifted against the warm rough bricks of the wall, tugging the ends of his cloth tighter.

God, if only he could have his way with you just right there, by the pool. Sit down next to you, give you a little massage, and then... take you as he wished it and as you wished it too. On a lounger, by the pool, in the water, or better yet, all in turn. And so that all the inhabitants of Saltburn, its guests and servants could hear how much pleasure Oliver was bringing you. But alas, this was not his home. At least for now, he had not yet fully decided on this issue for himself.

His body began aching numbly, and, unable to just stand and think all these thoughts anymore, Oliver finally decided to declare his presence.

"Hey, Y/N, do you mind if I lie down next to you?"

"Oliver... Didn't hear you coming!" you abruptly turned over on the sunbed, with a piece of watermelon in one hand and a book in the other. Watermelon juice began to flow slightly down your hand, you put a piece of watermelon on a plate, quickly licking the remaining juice from your hand and wiping against your leg. Oliver carefully followed all these movements with the silent gaze. You lifted your sunglasses, greeting him with warmth in your eyes. Oliver couldn't help but smile back.

"I think I left my book here yesterday," Quick went to the far little table to get his belonging, and then laid down on the next lounger from you.

"Oh, you’ve started a new one?"

"Yeah," he confirmed absent-mindedly, opening it and searching for the place where he had left off the previous time. It seemed that Oliver was not just reading books, but devouring them for lunch.

"Huh, I'm still reading Harry Potter..." your voice became a little sad and thoughtful. Of course, you also read a lot of things during your studies, but still not all of them from the list, and during the summer break you preferred to distract yourself with something lighter, almost childish even. While Oliver read one big serious book after another, also he had recently read Harry Potter in less than a week to be aware of what you were all constantly talking about, discussing the plot, "How you’re doing that?"

"Well, you take the book, open it... and then you start to look at the lines of letters that add up to meaningful words and sentences," Oliver explained in a serious tone, barely hiding his smile.

You snickered back, "Should’ve known that sooner!"

He chuckled, and you both went deep into reading your stuff. After a couple of minutes, your smile faded again.

"What is it, Y/N?" it seemed that nothing could be hidden from Oliver. You decided to tell him as it was, choosing the words and overcoming some embarrassment, "I just... I don't know. You read so much, and in general, you’ve achieved everything yourself at Oxford, including entering it. Well, of course, me too... Kinda... But still, it seems that you do more and work harder than I do. Even the way you read in your free time. I've been reading Harry Potter for the second month now. Of course, I'm just enjoying it, stretching the pleasure, it's also important, you know... But anyway, I'm not like you, I wish I could be you in certain way..."

Oliver listened to your mumbling until his eyebrows began to rise and warm smile appeared on his face.

"Y/N. You're not like me, and that's why I like you," Oliver said tenderly.

"And you don't even know how much," he added mentally. You could think that he would judge by your close communication over the past couple of weeks, or at least since the beginning of the summer, but he has already studied you very well since your meeting at Oxford. You were kind, you were kind to him, especially when you comforted him the day he told Felix and you about his family and the whole "father situation". Yes, not at all as interested as you were now, but it was only a matter of time, Oliver had been hoping for this from the very beginning. Yes, you were much kinder than him. Basically, this reason alone possibly could have been enough, but he did not deny himself the pleasure of mentally going over the rest of your qualities, which were different from his own.

You were open and generous, you were similar to Felix here, but unlike him, you were more modest and even a bit shy. And, of course, you were smart, although sometimes very naive. But for Oliver, it wasn't a flaw, he adored your naivety and innocence.

That trick with Felix's towels and your little lie about the malfunction of the second bathroom, he totally forgave and recorded it as a childish prank. He decided that it even amused and touched him, the way you childishly decided to take the initiative and allegedly outwit Quick.

He felt like a tiger that a little kitten had tried to hunt. The tiger that laid calmly next to the kitten and smiled lazily, waving his tail, which the little hunter was trying to catch. Oliver smiled lazily at the thought himself and decided that someday he even wouldn't mind if you tried to repeat such an innocent prank. And he would think about what he would do to you after that.

You were never capable of even a small part of what he was willing to do and had done in life to achieve his goals, to the extent that you would never have thought of such a thing. That was also why he had chosen you. You didn't have to be power hungry like him. On the contrary, it would be more than enough for him if you were hungry only for your rather harmless aspirations and, of course, for Oliver himself.

You were quite a complete and content person on your own, and this was very attractive to the many-faced Oliver, who was still struggling to find a place for himself in this life. But he had found his place beside you and planned to stay there for a long time, ideally, forever.

And of course, he adored the power he had over you, the way you looked at him trustingly and fascinated whenever he told you something. The way you looked away shyly when he gazed at you too intensely at breakfasts or dinners. The way you looked at him with your doe eyes, lying under him in bed, as if bewitched. The way he made you feel. Moan. Dig your fingers and nails deeper into his skin. Throw your head back with pleasure. Say his name. And generally, the fact that his name was coming out from your lips. Wheresoever. All the time.

And if only you knew what kind of power you have over him yourself. It seemed that even Oliver himself sometimes did not fully comprehend this, but he definitely felt it on a subconscious, instinctive level. He felt boundless joy, excitement and pride that the object of his adoration finally adored him. If there was a happiness, which Oliver sometimes looked for confirmation of in the philosophical books that he read, then it definitely laid in this for him.

He wanted a lot from you, it was true, but in return he was ready to throw the whole world at your feet and even more.

You were smiling sheepishly, still processing his words. The sunglasses on your face had slipped down slightly, revealing your equally embarrassed, but gentle and expressive gaze to him. He reached out to you, leaning on your lounger with one hand, and gently kissed you on the lips. The book in your hands trembled a little.

"It seems it’s getting too hot in here. I'm going to take a dip," Quick winked at you, got up from his sunbed and walked to the edge of the pool. Spreading his shoulder blades on his broad, muscular back, he stood on tiptoe a little and made a rather graceful leap into the water. To be honest, for a while you forgot about the adventures of young wizards, all your thoughts were now occupied by Oliver and how he swam in the water, making wide strokes with his fit arms. You even thought about joining in, but he came out of the water pretty quickly and flopped down on his lounger with his stomach down, exhaling contentedly.

You looked at him through your glasses. Drops of water trickled down his body that was heating up, repeating the contour of his every lean muscle, his dark slightly curly hair turned into wet, completely black strands. Then he turned over, exposing his face, glistening from the water, to the hot sun. He had just cooled off in the pool, but he looked damn hot. He was like an animated marble statue basking in the August sun on a lounger next to you. You inhaled the warm sticky air sharply but quietly, deciding to focus on reading. Oliver chuckled faintly, without opening his eyes. Surely, he couldn't know how you stared at him through your black sunglasses. Or could he? You weren't sure anymore.

Finally, really deep into reading, you took another piece of watermelon and began to eat it with appetite. The watermelon was juicy, so it started running down your chin and then down the hand that was holding it. You put down the book and reached for a napkin, when suddenly you heard a slightly hoarse "Let me." Looking in surprise to the side, you found that Oliver was shamelessly examining you, lying on his side, and, apparently, for some time. His unblinking gaze and slightly parted lips turned something in your stomach. His chest rose and fell noticeably from his rather heavy breathing.

He gently took your hand by the wrist and then slowly ran his tongue over it, climbing up the palm and licking the watermelon juice from it. A familiar knot started to form in your stomach. Oliver took turns taking your fingers into his mouth. Thumb. His lips were very tender. He pulled your completely clean finger out of his mouth with a smacking sound. Index finger. His lips were soft but at the same time firm. He started looking you straight in the eye.

Middle finger. You felt his soft, hot tongue against your skin. Ring finger. God, he started to lick and suck your fingers lightly at the same time. Pinkie. You were already burning down there, as you shifted your gaze from to the place where your fingers met Oliver's caressing mouth, to his piercing blue eyes, which looked at you from under their black eyelashes, almost without blinking.

He had never done this before, but now you didn't understand how you had lived without that feeling all this time. You wanted to eat a watermelon sloppily every day so that he would do this. Seeing how much you liked it, how you started fidgeting your legs on the sunbed, he once again ran his lips over your middle and index fingers, sucking them both at the same time. You let out a soft moan. Oliver smiled contentedly, closing his eyes and enjoying the process. You opened your lips in a silent exhale, looking at the guy, unable to tear yourself away from this sight. There was already a fire raging in the pit of your stomach and below.

Taking your fingers out of his mouth, he briefly kissed your palm, and then threw one of his hands over your body, leaning on your lounger. It made an surprised squeak at the presence of a guest. His heated by the sun metal chain hung, almost touching your lips. You even had the thought of taking it in your mouth. You gulped.

"Do you know, Y/N, how sweet you are? And right now, literally," Oliver put his face close to your chin and licked off the remnants of watermelon juice. Moving his tongue higher, he licked the contour of your lips. You could barely lie still, but at the same time you seemed frozen by everything that was happening now. He slipped his tongue inside your mouth, letting out a soft groan. The sweetness of the watermelon and your tongues mixed in your mouth, making your head spin. His wet and sticky lips caressed your lips, making some breaths and moans. He almost completely rolled over with his body on your lounger. The hotness of the sun and Oliver's hotness almost drove you to sunstroke. You could feel the firmness of his body and the way his swim trunks were getting tighter by the second. It was almost unbearable.

You broke off the kiss while recovering your breath. Oliver was looking at you, unsure of what to do next. More precisely, he knew exactly what he wanted, but he couldn't afford it right now, so his brain was quickly calculating all possible options.

"Shall we go for a dip together?" you nodded affirmatively at his suggestion. Getting up from the sunbed, he took you by both hands and led you to the edge of the pool.

"Together" means "to the very end," he smirked, and without letting go of your hands, he took a step back, plunging into the pool. You squeaked as you flew after him. In the water, Oliver's strong arms caught you and spun you around a little right under the water. You let out a laugh, releasing a few bubbles instead of "ha-ha."

Then you surfaced, and Quick pinned you between his muscular arms at the edge of the pool. There you both reached the bottom with your feet there, and you were pressed closer to the cool wall of the pool. It was a pleasant contrast between this and Oliver's body, which was even somehow hotter in the water.

"And what I am to do with you? With you, lying in your swimsuit in the sun, enjoying yourself so much and eating watermelon so seductively all the damn day. It's impossible to look at it and just put up with it," Oliver said, kissing you again passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and your legs began to wrap around his pelvis. You felt his boner with your crotch even in the water. He hissed faintly. You involuntarily began to rub and cling to him even more, feeling the literal fire under the water down there.

"Don't tempt me any more," he whispered against your lips, "Or else..."

One of his hands went deeper under the water, his fingers parted the fabric of your bikini to the side. Soon you felt his fingers inside you. The feeling in the water was slightly unusual, but you liked it. Oliver was slowly caressing you, and you tilted your head back a bit, unable to figure out where the wetness of the pool ended and your own begun. Oliver was moaning softly near your ear, and you could barely contain your loud moans. His fingers worked so well inside you that it felt like the entire pool was filled exclusively with your moisture.

You snuggled closer to the guy, and he started kissing your neck, which made your body cover in goosebumps. Then he slipped his other hand into your swimsuit and squeezed one breast. You let out a groan. Oliver added another finger, your legs curled around him, you wanted to moan at the top of your voice, but you were afraid that someone might come up at any moment and see what you two were doing here. The mixture of fear of being caught and wild excitement made brought you to the peak much faster than you expected.

"Is my girl done much faster today?" Oliver asked innocently, stroking your waist, "Admit it, it’s rather turning on. The probability of being caught. You feel it too, don't you? Oh, yes, you do understand me..."

Oliver slightly narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. He really liked the fact that you were different, but he was even more pleased with the moments where your morality and your desires sometimes converged at the same one ambiguous point.

He grinned contentedly when you, nodding slightly and biting your lip, a little timidly reached for his swim trunks with your hands. He exhaled sharply when you felt his bump and ran your soft hand up and down his hard cock several times. The movements of your hand in the water felt like in a slow motion. Oliver half-closed his eyes, holding onto the sides of the pool, and hissed, "Yes, my sweet Y/N, that's it, don't stop… Wait."

He recoiled a little from you, you involuntarily turned around, following his frowning gaze. Felix. He was walking to the pool in sunglasses, wearing a yellow shirt and swimming trunks, carrying a towel and some drink in a can. You laughed awkwardly and embarrassedly while Oliver was rather tense and very displeased. But he forced himself to distract himself, for your sake and for Felix too.

"Hi guys! How long have you been... Hey-y, did I interrupt something?" Catton Jr. asked rather jokingly, seeing you laughing in the pool, but he still tensed a little from the proximity of your distance.

"No, we just came in, join us!" Oliver shouted cheerfully, dispelling the guy's suspicions. At least, most of them.

While Felix was undressing and putting his things on his lounger, you looked pointedly at Oliver and sighed quietly, pursing your lips. Quick blinked slowly in response and nodded slightly, assuring you that way that your fun would definitely continue soon, and no one would dare to interrupt you next time.

But still, Oliver thought to himself, he would have to ponder again all the options for how to make sure that you wouldn't be disturbed inside and outside this house, not only for the next time, but preferably never again.

[fandom-imagines-stories]

You Can Talk to Me

Matt Murdock x Reader

Words: 5730

Summary: A night of drinks becomes something else when the reader reveals what’s been bothering her the past week. Matt tries to not be blinded by his feelings for his best friend as he comforts her, but this heartbreak may be just what she needs to see what’s right in front of her. 

Notes: Yet another Matt comfort imagine, surprise surprise. I guess the thing about heartbreak, is it gives you plenty to write about. I don’t really have much else for this one, other than I’m just writing whatever I need right now. And fuck it, if that means combining smut with a comfort imagine, so be it. This is a lot, but I loved every minute of writing it. 

Warnings: Angst, 18+ SMUT (choking, oral, unprotected, the works)

More Matt Imagines Here

-

Karen checked her watch again, head peeking over the growing crowd at Josie’s to try and spot the fourth member of their get-together. 

“She’s never late,” Karen said, frowning. She turned to the two men waiting with her. “Maybe I should call again.”

Matt listened. Old rock hits played over the speakers and a group of men bickered by the pool table, but past the buzz of the neon and slight muffling through the window pane, he heard it. Quick, shallow breaths and a hurried heartbeat paired with the sharpness of salt in the air. 

Matt stiffened. 

You were crying. 

He heard as you took a few deep breaths and hastily wiped your cheeks. 

You pushed open the door to the bar with a strained smile and searching eyes. 

“She’s here,” Matt said, his tone turned solemn.

What happened? 

Foggy beamed, spotting you by the entrance. “How does he do that?”

Matt’s head tilted, analyzing your movements as you made your way through the crowd. Karen and Foggy were still looking for a table, but he could practically feel the effort it took to keep up your sunny demeanor. 

“Sorry I’m late,” you said, finally reaching them. “I got an unexpected call from work.” 

Your heart skipped. 

Matt’s worry deepened. 

You’d never lied to them before. 

Karen waved it off. “Well, you’re here now.”

“Let the party commence!” Foggy cheered. 

Matt gave you a small smile. You did your best to return it. The other two left to get more drinks. 

“Work, huh?” Matt prompted. 

Your heart skipped again. “Yeah, they just needed to run something by me. No big deal.” 

“Right.”

You noticed the twitch in his smile, the gentleness in his tone. You should have known he’d be able to tell something was wrong. He always did. It didn’t help that you’d been avoiding your friends these past two weeks. Especially Matt- because you knew this would happen. Somehow, he just saw you. 

“How are the cases coming?” You asked, hoping to get the attention off of you. “You guys just won the worker’s comp case you’d been working so hard on right?”

Matt’s smile returned. “Yeah, we did.” He motioned in the direction of his partner. “Foggy’s closing statement really sealed it for us. You would have loved it.”

“Well, I unfortunately had a civil case across the hall.” You flexed your hands. “God, they talked so much I thought my fingers would fall off.”

The two of you chuckled.

“You should take some of that vacation time you talked about.” He cleared his throat, shifting almost uncomfortably. “Maybe go somewhere with Sam.” 

You stiffened and glanced down at the table. “Yeah, Matt, about that-”

“Your elixir of drunkenness, milady.” Foggy set your bourbon down with a flourish. 

You laughed, grateful for the interruption. “Why thank you, sir.”

Matt sighed lightly and sipped his beer, gripping the bottle a little tighter. 

What the hell did Sam do?

You took a long, slow drink and let the burn wash away any other feeling. It worked… if only a little bit.

Karen led you all to a booth she’d picked out towards the back of the bar. 

“So,” she said, taking the seat beside Foggy, sticking you beside the human lie detector. “What have you been up to? It seems like it’s been forever since we’ve actually seen you.”

You gulped and slid into the booth, Matt following after you. You almost stammered when his knee bumped against yours.

“Um, it’s been okay.”

Matt raised a brow at your hesitation, nudging you again. It wasn’t like you to hide things. Not from him. 

You took a deep breath and ripped off the bandaid. “Sam and I broke up.”

Foggy’s eyes widened, Karen’s softened, and Matt took another drink. 

“I’m okay though,” you quickly followed up. 

Lie.

“I’m sorry,” Foggy said. He paused, then perked up. “Do you want another drink?”

“Foggy,” Karen scolded.

“What? Break-ups are the perfect reason to get wasted!”

You snickered and downed the rest of your whiskey. “I wouldn’t say no to another round.” 

Foggy turned to the others. 

Matt shrugged, still listening intently to your uneven breathing. “I’ll have what she’s having.” 

Karen leaned, reaching a comforting hand toward yours. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

“No, I couldn’t,” you shook your head. “We’re celebrating you guys tonight.” You took the drink Foggy handed you and raised your glass. “To Nelson and Murdock.” 

Matt clinked his whiskey to yours. “And to being there for friends,” he added pointedly. 

“Here here,” Karen cheered before you could shoot him a glare.

The next hour was filled with drinks and laughter. It helped you feel a little more like yourself- something you’d been trying to do for weeks. Every time Foggy made a joke or Matt “accidentally” brushed against your arm, the hole in your chest felt a little smaller. 

And then you saw him.

Matt heard his voice first. His tense shoulders were why you looked up. 

Sam had his arm around a pretty girl with dark hair. You’d seen her at his office before. His head turned, eyes meeting yours. 

It was like you weren’t there. 

Sam waved at Foggy and went to the other side of the bar, as far away from you as possible. 

“That’s just cold,” Foggy said, shaking his head. 

You finished your third drink. If you had anymore here you’d start crying and you were not going to let that happen. Not in front of all of them. Not til you were home. If Sam could not care, so could you. 

“Do you want to leave?” Matt asked softly. 

You swallowed back the panic attack rising in your throat. “No. We should finish our drinks.”

“Do you want another?” Karen offered. 

“I’ll just get water to end the night, thanks.” 

Matt knew what that meant. You’d finish the night at home, by yourself, drinking until you fell asleep numb. A coping mechanism you had only ever confided in him about. It was easier for you to face everything alone, or at least you convinced yourself it was. He could relate to that.

You couldn’t stop your gaze from shifting toward the couple across the bar, no matter how hard you tried. You watched Sam’s eyes glisten every time he looked at her. He laughed loud enough for the sound to reach over the crowd. 

God, you felt so stupid. 

Matt couldn’t do it anymore. Even if he hadn’t been able to sense the way just sitting there was eating at you, the idea of you hurting was enough to break him. 

“Hey, I’ve got some leftover enchiladas from the Galindo case,” he said, leaving closer to you so his breath was against your ear. “Want to help me get through them?” Before you could make an excuse, he finished with. “They’ll go bad if you don’t. You know how often I forget dinner.” He playful bumped his shoulder into yours. 

You rolled your eyes. “And I keep telling you that one of these days you’ll keel over and I won’t run to help you.” 

“Yes you would,” he teased. “You like me too much.”

“Maybe,” you laughed. 

He could always do that. And the idea of going home alone…

“Alright, you’ve convinced me.” You held up a finger, “but only if I can go through your record collection.”

Matt grinned. “Deal.”

Karen saw your gaze flit back to where it was before and leaned to whisper to you. 

“I know this isn’t much help now,” she said, “but you’re better off without him.” 

“Yeah, I never liked the smug sonofabitch anyway,” Foggy added a little too loudly.

“Shhhh,” you and Karen both hissed. 

You thought you saw Sam glance over and ducked to hide your face in Matt’s shoulder. 

Karen looked between the two of you, but kept her comments to herself, though her smile grew. 

Matt chuckled and took your hand, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb in a way that said ‘it’s gonna be okay.’

-

Foggy and Karen got a cab but both you and Matt felt okay enough to walk back to his apartment in the warm New York spring air. There was still a bite in the breeze, lingering from winter. Only wearing a nice tee, you shivered. 

“Are you cold?” Matt asked, already taking off his suit jacket. He put it around your shoulders without you even having to ask. 

Karen shot you a smirk. 

You mouthed ‘Seriously?’

She snickered and closed the cab door. 

You quickly turned to Matt, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks- not knowing he could sense it, of course. “Ready?”

Matt smiled and held out his arm. “Lead the way.” 

His easy demeanor helped to calm you a little and when his arm hooked through yours, it felt like he was the one guiding you. Maybe he was, in a way.

“It’s really nice tonight,” you said, trying- and failing- not to sound awkward. 

“Are you talking to me about the weather?” Matt teased. 

Your face reddened even more. “Leave me alone, I’m-” you searched for a word, flustered. “Fragile.” 

He snickered. “Fragile, huh?”

“Yes,” you nudged his side with your elbow. “Fragile. Which means you have to be nice to me.” 

“I’m being very nice,” he said in mock offense. “I’m feeding you Seniora Galindo’s enchiladas and letting you rummage through my records. I’d say I am your knight in shining red glass this evening.” He poked you right back.

“You have certainly been chivalrous,” you smiled and fell into silence, the weight on your chest sucking the energy out of you. 

This was how it had been. One moment, you were okay, and the next…

It was like you only had two true modes of being. 

Angry.

Or empty.

There was much in between. It was getting harder and harder to remember that any of it had been good to begin with. 

The way his eyes just slide past you at the bar. 

The way he practically ignored you in the conversations at work.

The way he wouldn’t even talk to you about what happened. 

Like you weren’t there.

Like you were nothing. 

The word hit you. It struck you in the chest like someone had put their hands around your ribs and pushed. 

But you kept walking.

Matt sensed the shift- the hitch in your breath and the hesitation in your step. He wanted to stop you right there and pull you into his secure embrace to block out the thoughts that plagued you. The hurt. He wished he could stop it. 

But he waited. 

You were grateful for the jacket wrapped tightly around you because the night had turned colder by the time the two of you reached Matt’s apartment building. Still pushing down that dark empty ache, you climbed the stairs with your eyes trained on the ground. 

Matt opened the door, ushering you in with a gentle hand on the small of your back. 

The touch made you flinch, not because it was uncomfortable, but because the gesture brought out more feeling than you were prepared for. Every nerve was set on edge. 

“Sorry,” you murmured, seeing Matt pull away. 

He shook his head, still giving you that small smile. “You don’t have to apologize.”

He let you go first into the living room, where you took a seat close to the window. Staring out at the bright, shifting lights of the billboard, you breathed out for what felt like the first time since you saw Sam in the bar.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” you mused. You felt Matt take a seat, the cushions shifting beside you. His arm grazed your back as he draped it over the back of the couch. 

“Y/N,” he started softly.

You blinked back tears, a pleading in your voice. “Matt…” 

“Hey, it’s okay.” He put a finger under your chin and gently turned your face toward him. “I know you’re holding something back. Why?” There was a desperation in his voice, a need to do something- anything to make it better. 

“I can’t.” You still tried to fight against the emotions trying to choke you. 

Maybe Sam had the right idea when he stopped speaking to you altogether. And you still didn’t know why. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” Matt whispered, moving closer to you. “You can talk to me.” 

Those five words were all it took. Two weeks of being blamed and ignored and confused and devastated hit you all at once.

Matt felt the break before the first tear fell. He felt your lips tremble, still trying to hold back the words that were tearing you apart. It shattered him. Matt wrapped his arms around you and this time you didn’t flinch away. 

You crashed against him like the waves inside your chest. 

“Tell me what’s been going on, sweetheart,” Matt urged, his tone as sweet as the endearment he called you. “Just talk to me.”

“He won't-” You sucked back a sob. “He won’t talk to me. I thought, when he broke up with me, that things were okay between us. That we could be friends like we were before. But now, he won’t even look at me.”

Matt thought about Sam’s quickly shuffling feet, his spiked heartbeat when he saw them there. Like he couldn’t get away fast enough. But why? The last time Matt had been around the two of you, Sam seemed fine. Matt didn’t particularly like the guy but he made you happy. Or he used to, anyway.

“It’s not like I thought Sam was ‘the one’ or anything,” you said, calming yourself down. “But I thought these past two months at least meant something. He’s acting like they didn’t even happen.” You wrapped your arms around your legs, tucking yourself into the corner of the couch. “And I feel like an idiot because we weren’t together for long but��� I guess he’d become one of my best friends and now it’s like I’m not… anything, anymore.” 

Your last statement struck Matt, but he didn’t push it. Not yet. 

“And he hasn’t told you why? He just-” Matt sighed. “Disappeared on you?”

More like he made you disappear. 

You curled up more. 

“And there’s nothing I can do about it.” There was no hiding the defeat in your tone. You wiped a stray tear. “I just wanted something to work out for once.” How many times could your heart break again and again and again before it gave up?

Matt kept an arm around your shoulders. He moved closer so you could lay your head on his shoulder and blew out a breath. “I know.”

His soft touch set you off again. Your cries were quiet, your tears slow. You didn’t have the energy to sob. 

Matt tucked you in his arms, waiting. It wasn’t his place to push, not when everything was so raw. Not when part of him wished he could kiss your tears away. 

He’d always wondered if his dislike of Sam came out of jealousy. Matt felt he had waited too long and he lost his chance when Sam came along. 

He felt horrible, thinking about that now, but it lingered nonetheless. 

“Thank you,” you sniffed, sitting up again. “I really didn’t want to go home alone again.”

You’d counted every crack in your ceiling three times already.

“You can come over whenever you need to, okay?” Matt smiled. “You liven up the place.”

You snorted. 

“I’m serious,” he said. Matt leaned over and kissed your forehead. “You warm every room you’re in.”

You weren’t sure who leaned in first, but when your lips brushed against his- just for a moment- Matt pulled away.

“Wait,” he said. The kiss barely lasted a second, but he sounded breathless. His smile almost seemed nervous. “You haven’t picked a record yet.” 

You swallowed hard. “O-okay.”

While you walked to his crate records, Matt tried to force his heartbeat to slow down. Just the brief touch had his head spinning. But you were vulnerable and hurting. He couldn’t bear the idea of taking advantage of that. To keep himself busy, he got up to go to the kitchen, getting you a glass of water.

You picked a soft 90s alt album and put the needle on. Quiet drums filled the space but did little to silence your mind. You went back to the couch but didn’t sit down. You took the water but didn’t drink. 

Neither of you said anything for a while. 

Finally, the guilty part of you took over.

“Sam’s going through a lot,” you reasoned. “Between his caseload and things going on with his family…” God, maybe you were being the selfish one here. 

Matt held onto the back of the couch, unfocused eyes trained on the carpet. “That doesn’t mean he gets to treat you like this.”

You turned away. “I know.”

Matt let go of the leather and walked to you. “You deserve better than this, Y/N.” 

“I know.” Your heart faltered again. Another lie. 

Despite the voice in his head telling him to stop, Matt put a hand on your arm, fingers squeezing gently to get you to face him. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

You found yourself leaning into his touch again. At least it made you feel something again. When you spoke, it was almost too quiet. If it hadn’t been Matt, he might not have heard you.

“I’ve never had someone make me feel like I was…” The words cracked inside you. “Like I’m nothing the way he has.”

Matt’s heart broke completely. 

How could anyone make you think that? How could anyone not see how incredible and important and- he couldn’t even think of enough words to capture the growing need in his chest. A need to not have you feel this way anymore. 

“Y/N, no,” he said, taking your face in his hands. “You aren’t nothing. You mean so much to so many people. To Foggy and Karen. To me-” he took a deep breath. “Y/N, you’re everything.”

Suddenly you weren’t thinking of Sam or the girl he was with. You weren’t thinking about your emptiness or your anger. All that mattered, all you felt… was him.

“Matt,” you breathed him in, shaking with your next request. “Please.”

Matt’s lips ghosted yours. He was standing so close you thought you could hear his heartbeat. 

“Are you sure?” If you said no, he would step back and you would never have to worry about him not speaking to you. He could never leave you like that, no matter how he felt. But if you said yes-

“I need you, Matt,” you whimpered. You didn’t know how true it was until you said it. 

Until he closed the space between you, capturing any other words with his lips. 

Matt wished his kiss alone could show you how much you meant. He tried to convey every feeling with the movement of his lips, the sweep of his tongue, his hand moving to cup the back of your head. 

A soft moan escaped your throat as his tongue explored your mouth. You tilted your head back, giving him better access. 

The sound ignited through Matt. He held you tighter, hands falling to grip your waist while his mouth moved to your ear. 

“You’re everything,” he repeated, breath on your skin. 

You moaned again, fingers gripping his button down, pulling him back toward the couch. 

Matt’s hold tightened, keeping you in place. He chuckled and shook his head. “If we’re doing this.” He lifted you up in his arms. 

You yelped. 

He wrapped your legs around his waist. “We’re going to do it right.”

He carried you steadily to his room and laid you down on silk sheets. Matt hovered over you for a moment, letting his senses take everything in. 

Impatient, you tugged on his hair.

Again, he just chuckled, using one hand to grab your wrists and hold them over your head.

You raised a brow. This was a side of the snarky lawyer you hadn’t entirely expected. Not that you were complaining. 

“I need you to do something for me,” he said, a smug smile spreading across his face. There was the Matt you knew. “I need you to be patient.” He kissed along the collar of your shirt. “And let me make you feel good.”

“That’s two things,” you teased. 

He nipped at your collarbone hard enough to make you gasp.

“O-okay, Matt.” 

“Good girl,” he said lowly. From how your body responded, he kept that in mind for later.

Matt pulled his shirt over his head, not bothering with the buttons.

You admired the curves of his torso, leading downward to the waistband of his pants and what lay beneath.

“Matt,” you said, a slight whine in your voice. 

He smirked. 

Bastard.

You pulled those smug lips back to yours, kissing him with just a smidge of defiance. 

Matt’s hand made its way to your throat, squeezing just enough to hold you down.

“Be. Patient.” He growled again with a deeper tone.

He removed your shirt and bra in two swift motions. Matt didn’t waste any time roaming his hands over your body, committing every touch to memory.

Your breathing hitched as his fingers each ran over your peaked nipples. Rough yet gentle hands massaged your breasts. Matt rubbed his thumbs over the sensitive buds again if only to hear that lovely little gasp again. 

He took a moment to remember how this all started. As one hand teased its way down your stomach, the other took hold of your chin. 

“You are not nothing,” Matt said firmly. His fingers dipped beneath the fabric, undoing the button of your jeans. “I want you to say it.”

You bit your lip and tried to turn away, but his hold wouldn’t let you.

Matt kissed your lips then trailed his way to your chest, listening to your heart. 

“Please?” He kissed the skin in the valley of your breasts.

You breathed out a sigh. “I am not nothing.” 

“I know you can do better than that.” Matt trailed his kisses over the slope of your skin so that his lips hovered over your nipple. “Come on, sweetheart. I need you to believe it.”

“I am not nothing,” you said a little more confidently despite the hitch in your words when the tips of his fingers grazed your clit.

Matt nodded before taking your nipple into his mouth. Your jeans and panties were quick to join the rest of your clothes on the floor and his fingers pressed down on your bundle of nerves. 

You had to bite back another whine. Between his teeth tugging on your nipple and his fingertips beginning agonizingly slow circles, you were already coming apart at the seams. Each swirl of his tongue matched the motions against your clit. It ignited every one of your senses, enveloping you in him. 

Matt sucked a little harsher, eliciting the moan you were holding back. 

And he reveled in it. 

While Matt switched his attention to your other tit, he accelerated his circles on your clit. 

“God, Matt.” You finally moved your hands from where he’d placed them above your head and tangled them in his hair. 

He could hear your heartbeat quickening, hear the unevenness in your breathing as he wound you tighter and tighter with just the tips of his fingers. 

“That’s it,” he cooed, replacing his nipping and sucking with soft licks and kisses across your chest. You knew you’d have several marks in the morning, which excited you even more. Matt rubbed harder and faster. “That’s it, baby.”

Your climax crashed into you before you could prepare. Your hands pulled on his hair, loud whining gasp escaping your lips. Matt caught the sound in a kiss, letting it vibrate through him perfectly. He kept up his flicking, figure-eight motions to help you ride out the high. 

You tugged his bottom lip between your teeth, draping your arms around his neck. Closer. You needed him closer.

And yet, he pulled away. Matt smiled at your whimper, laying one hand on your cheek and bringing the other to his lips, licking your glisten from his fingers. You turned your head, taking two of his fingers in your mouth, sucking sweetly. 

Matt felt something snap inside him. With a deep rumble from his chest, he moved to stand at the foot of the bed, yanking you down to the edge. 

You sat up, hands reaching for his belt. You needed him. 

Matt pushed you back on the bed quick enough that you bounced on the mattress.

“Not yet,” he smirked, laying an arm across you to hold you down. There was something different about his smile. Something devilish.

Then he knelt in front of you. 

Your head fell back against the silk sheets as he bit your inner thigh, soothing the spot with his tongue. He did this up and down your legs, all the while holding you to the bed to keep your hips from bucking and giving you more friction than he allowed. 

“Ma-ah-” You gasped as his tongue finally swept up the length of your core. 

Matt’s head swam with every detail his heightened senses were taking in. From the taste of you to the way his name fell from your lips fueled his movements. He closed his lips over your clit, spelling your name into the sensitive nerves with his tongue- then spelling his own. 

Your core pulsed around nothing, tightening the more wrecked you with his mouth. 

“Fuck, Matthew,” you moaned. 

Matt lapped at your center, completely taken by the overwhelming burning inside him that you stoked with your noises and your scent and your taste. 

You almost screamed with the coming of your second climax, even more intense than the first. The ache inside of you just got worse as you gushed, still empty and needy. 

Matt drank in everything you gave him, pushing you as far as you could go. 

As he crawled back up to you, your limbs trembling and your heart racing, he kissed you gently, letting you taste yourself on his lips. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked, afraid he’d gotten carried away. 

“I need more,” you pleaded, gulping down breaths. “Please, Matty?”

He smiled that devilish smile again. 

“What do you want, sweetheart?”

“Matty.” You keened, hands trying to reach again for him, but he held you firmly. “I need you inside me.” You pouted your lips. “I need you to hold me.”

Matt kissed you again, this time softer, trailing down your neck as he backed away to take off the rest of his clothes. 

You got just a glimpse of him before he laid you on your side and it was enough to have you aching even more. 

He laid beside you, holding your back to his chest. 

“Okay, baby.” 

Matt pushed inside of you, arms locked around your middle. He bit down on your shoulder to contain his moan while your breathless cry rang through the room. 

“So good, sweetheart,” he murmured, bringing his hips back. “You feel so good.”

“Just for you, M-Matt.” You laid your head back in the crook of his neck. 

Matt snapped his hips back, plunging his cock deeper inside your pulsing walls. “Atta girl.” 

You rutted back against him, every movement inside of you bringing a whimper with each brush of his shaft against the blinding spot within. 

Matt held you as close to his body as possible, making it harder to tell where he ended and you began. He slipped a hand up to wrap around your throat, turning your face to kiss you. His tongue claimed your mouth while he continued to rock in and out of you. In and out. A perfect, steady rhythm that stayed deep inside your core while being just slow enough to keep you wanting more. 

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.” Matt whispered, saying your name like a sacred prayer. 

“God, Matty,” you said, feeling his hand around your throat. “Matt, I’m-” You were cut off by a loud moan when he hit that spot that made you see stars even harder than before. 

“I know,” Matt cooed. “I know you want to give me another one. I know, sweetheart.” He gripped your neck a little tighter. “But I need you to wait a little longer.” 

“But Matty…” The hot coil inside you constricted more and more. 

“I know, baby,” he smirked against your jaw. “Here, I’ll count with you, okay?”

You tried to think past the haze of him. “O-okay, Matt.”

“Alright.” His free hand returned to your clit, making it even harder for you to hold back. “Count with me and I’ll let you come. One.”

You took a shaking breath. “One.”

“Two.”

“T-two.” 

This continued his thrusts, getting faster, leaving you both panting by the final count. 

“Ten,” Matt growled, nipping the back of your neck, having been struggling to hold on himself. 

“Ten,” you exclaimed. “Ten ten ten. Matt please.”

He wicked a line up to your ear, biting the soft flesh there. 

“Come for me, Y/N.”

You reached up to tangle your fingers in his hair again as overwhelming shocks of pleasure burned through you like wildfire. As Matt spilled into you, his hips stuttering against your ass, you stopped feeling anything else. Everything was this moment. 

Neither of you even had a moment to say anything, completely overcome by pleasant exhaustion. 

Matt cradled you to him and you fell asleep tangled with his body. He breathed in your scent, smiling as he let sleep take over him as well. 

-

You woke up to a warm sun and an empty bed. A moment of confusion clouded your tired mind before memories of the night flooded your senses. 

Seeing Sam at the bar.

The emptiness in your chest. The nothingness. 

Then coming here with Matt…

Matt.

“Oh God.” You sat up, silk sheets slipping over your skin. 

You had sex with Matt. Your best friend. Amazing, mind-blowing sex, but at what cost? Was one night worth screwing up years of friendship? And where was he? Was he so disgusted by what you’d done he couldn't bear to be around you anymore? 

Those fears consumed you as you scrambled to gather your things and get dressed. You found the living room empty, making your stomach sink even more. The thought hit you like a punch to the gut.

You screwed up the most important relationship in your life… all because you saw your ex at a bar. 

How you felt about Matt- feelings you were realizing you had- didn’t matter. You’d fucked everything up. 

Matt was climbing the stairs with coffee in hand when he heard the racing, panicked heart in his apartment from a floor down. One thought leaped to the front of his mind.

You regretted everything. 

With every hurried step, Matt grew more furious with himself. What was he thinking? He’d let his feelings for you get in the way during a difficult time and now you hated him for it. 

He would apologize. He had to. He couldn’t risk the relationship you already had. Even if it meant ignoring how he really felt. 

He opened the door with sorry on his lips, but you beat him to it.

“Oh thank God, you’re back,” you sighed. From your tone and the lingering salt in the air, he knew you’d been crying. His fault.

“It is my apartment,” he teased. If he could just get things back to how they were-

“I know, but when I woke up you were gone and-” You took a deep breath. “I understand if this makes things too complicated and you don’t want to speak to me again. I promise I didn’t plan any of this and-”

“Y/N, wait.” Matt interrupted, finally understanding. 

It wasn’t regret. 

It was fear. Like his. Only, you had just gone through something similar with Sam, which made everything even worse. 

“I know you have a lot going on,” you said, trying to hold it together. “I won’t add to that. Not over a-” The words stung as you said them. “Over a pity fuck.”

And just like last night, Matt’s heart broke for you.

“Is that what you thought it was?” Matt asked quietly. 

“I don’t know.” You fell back onto the couch and stared at your lap, unable to look at him anymore. “First everything with Sam now I’m going to lo-” You couldn’t finish, sucking in a breath to keep from crying. 

Matt crossed the living room and sat beside you. Slowly, carefully, he took your hand in his. He laid it on his chest so you could feel the steadiness of his heart. 

“You’re not going to lose me,” he said. 

You focused on that heartbeat. 

Matt moved his hands to cup your face. 

“Last night wasn’t about Sam or the breakup or the bar.” He wiped a tear away with his thumb. “Last night was about us. You and me. And we can make it mean whatever we want it to or nothing at all. But Y/N,” he sighed, “you are not going to lose me.”

You let his words sink in and made yourself believe them, at least right now.

Matt pulled you closer, gently pressing his lips to your forehead.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment before you glanced at the table, finally taking in the scent of the coffee. 

“So that's where you disappeared to,” you laughed a little at yourself for panicking. 

Matt nodded, his hands falling to his lap. “Yeah, I was out and I know how you get without your caffeine.”

“Hey,” you snickered, poking his side.

“I knew I could get a smile.”

You blushed. “How do you even know?”

“Trust me,” he beamed. “I know.”

The two of you decided that you would figure it out at whatever pace you both needed. He was your best friend and you loved each other. And you would no matter what. Still, the prospect of being together, of taking your relationship a step further, excited both of you more than you admitted. 

There was, however, a promise Matthew had yet to keep…

So you had enchiladas for breakfast.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Good morning/afternoon/night

Could you make Sanemi x male reader? With reader is chosen by kagaya to go with Sanemi through missions and reader is calm, logic and aways stop Sanemi from getting in trouble

Yandere Sanemi X Male Reader

You most definitely beat him up after his actions with Tanjiro 

And since you work so well your names typically are never said without the other

Where he’s abrasive and offputting

Your approachable and gentle

“You’re family’s probably dead. Might as well get your grieving over now.”

“W-what?!” 

“I apologize for my partner. What we mean to say is that their fate is uncertain but we will get to the bottom of this.”

“Ohh well thank you so much!”

“Happy to help.”

Your strong as him

And so much sweeter

You’re just really really good at this 

So good you do often get pulled away from Sanemi

Who politely throws the biggest tantrum to Kagaya-sama when you get the assignment

“Master I strongly request that he stay by my side. After our assignment.”

“Sanemi...I realize why you want him to stay with you but you must give him space…he’s requested it.” 

The stakeout for this mission was uncharacteristically silent. Typically he’d be insulting the demon or even the people you placated before lightly interrogating about the demon but he was silent. As were you, already aware of the conversation he no doubt had with Kagaya-sama. 

“So…I’m too much for ya is that it?” 

You let out a sigh as you could already hear the angry grumble in his seemingly calm question. You didn’t respond instead watching as the demon began to make its move, you began to move feeling the angry puffs of Sanemi’s hollering behind you.

“What? You not gonna talk to me now!? Is this too close for you, huh?!”

Practically yelling in your ear as you tried to focus on the demon’s movement, silently debating if they were aware of your presence. You concluded that they were and they were preparing to attack a nearby home to divide your attention. You took a step to descend from the roof of the building only to be stopped by the tense body of Sanemi.

“Sanemi. Move. Those people need help.”

“I’ll move when you tell me, why?!”

You sucked your teeth sidestepping the Wind Hashira. 

“I don’t have time for this!”

He pulled at your bicep wrestling you face first into the ground; knee in your back as you watch the demon ravage the people inside. You struggled against him, failing to remove him you yelled.

“LET ME GO SANEMI!”

“I WON’T! NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME ‘WHYY?!’ WAS IT TOMIOKA? OBANAI?”

You let your cheek rest against the wood of the roof.

“It's really…because of you.”

You growled at his silence as you registered the demon moving to attack you both.

“Its because of you that I’d rather be in solitude than clean up the messes you make with your mean attitude. And your mean face! And your horrible attitude about everyone that talks to me…”

Sanemi let his mouth hang open.

“Yeah, I know about the threatening. I know about the mystery asphyxiations. Kagayama-sama may not be willing to disown the Wind Hashira in fear of what you will become but I will. And at this moment I wish to part from you forever, alright!?”

At your call, Sanemi beheaded the demon without looking. Letting you up from his hold on your back to swipe at the demon’s last attempts to stab at the both of you. Letting the demon’s screams hang in the air you let silence envelope you both once more. That is until Sanemi broke it.

“Ha! Even when you're saving my life, you reject me!”

“What did you expect? I’ve been doing that since selection.”

He let the memory replay as he let the mirror of your past self align with your current self. Grimacing at the thought he debated cutting your Achilles heel. Stopped by the unsheathed blade hanging low as if already aware of his intentions.

“Don’t think about following me. I’ll kill you if you do.”

“Right. Right. And you better come back unharmed or I won’t let this go.”

“Whatever.”

Sanemi whipped around letting his hand clutch at your face, squishing you into silence as he gave his unsettling smile.

“You. Will. Come. Back. Unharmed. Yes?”

You reluctantly nodded being released as you watched your crow's circle overhead. 

‘It really couldn’t have been longer.’

[coffeeghoulie]

Kinktober Day 25: Overstimulation

The Ghostober prompts were put together by @kroas-adtam, and divider made by @gothdaddyissues, thank you both so much!

By popular demand (three people asked for this <3), the continuation of Day Seven

Pairing: Aether/Dew/Mountain

Summary: Dew gets his reward, and it's a little more than he bargained for.

Contains: Trans Dew, cunt and cock used to describe his genitals, fingering, oral, overstimulation, safeword discussion but no actual use

Read under the cut or on AO3!

The door to their room has hardly latched before Dew starts begging. "Please, Aeth, Mount, please I've been so patient, please, Aeth, you said you'd make me feel good if I was good for you!"

"Shh," Aether hums, shifting Dew in his arms. His legs had been too wobbly after cockwarming both him and Mountain for hours. "I did promise you that, baby boy. Can you wait just a few more moments for us?"

Dew squeezes his eyes shut, pressing his forehead to Aether's collarbone as he nods, chest heaving. Aether turns and presses a kiss to the jut of Dew's obsidian horn. "So good for us, huh, Mount?"

Mountain pulls the covers off of their nest, piling them at the foot of the mattress as he sits down. "You were so good, droplet," Mountain coos, reaching out to Aether to take Dew from him. He settles their fire ghoul over his lap, leaning back against a pile of pillows and spreading Dew's thighs over his own, baring him to the cool air in their room.

Aether shuffles onto the bed, kneeling between both of his mates' spread legs, helping Dew out of his oversized shirt. He smiles fondly at them, cupping Dew's cheek and kissing him far too tenderly for the amount of teasing he had put him through. He pulls back, gaze moving down, past his puffy nipples, down to where his little cock shines with slick, jutting out from his sopping wet folds.

"Oh, baby boy, you're so wet," Aether coos as he teases his fingers along Dew's entrance, pressing kisses along Dew's burning cheeks.

Dew tries to scoff, but the sound comes out more a keen. "I've been waiting all night, Aeth, please just fuck me already!"

Mountain chuckles, leaning over to kiss the crown of Dew's head. "But you've waited so long, firefly, can't you wait a few moments more?"

Dew snarls weakly, turning to snap at Mountain. "Next time, you try sitting on someone's dick for three hours!"

Mountain doesn't flinch, knowing those fangs would never willingly hurt him, no matter how much Dew flashes them. He settles the ghoul in his lap, laying him back against his chest, giant hand covering his sore, abused tits. "We've got you, droplet. Let us reward you for being so good to us. You were so patient for me and Aeth, love."

He reaches down, wraps his giant hands around Dew's thighs, spreading them wider. Aether steps closer, slipping two thick fingers inside up to the third knuckle with ease, crooking them upwards. Mountain smirks over Dew's shoulder, tightening his grip just as Dew thrashes.

"So patient," Aether parrots, not starting out slow, fingering him with an accuracy that only comes with time and lots of experience. Dew shrieks wordlessly, hand flying up to cover his mouth, but Mountain takes his wrist in his giant hand.

"Fuck!" Dew screams and tries to thrash, tries to close his legs against the onslaught, but Aether takes one thigh and Mountain takes the other, flaying him open. He stares, eyes wide and glassy, as Aether smiles at him.

"What's wrong, darling?" Aether says casually, like he's not up to the knuckle in Dew's cunt. "You wanted us to make you feel good, does this not feel good?"

He presses the pads of his fingers against the spongy spot behind his cock and Dew's vision goes white.

"Aeth asked you a question, firefly," Mountain whispers, nosing along the shell of Dew's pointed ear. "Can you answer him, baby?"

"Yes, feels good, Aeth, too good, too much," Dew pants, hips jerking even as they both hold him down and open. He can feel the swell of Mountain's dick behind him, pressing into the cleft of his ass, see the bulge tenting Aether's soaked sweats. Neither of the other ghouls had shed a single article of clothing yet. "Too fucking much, Father Below, too fucking much."

Mountain and Aether share a look over Dew's shoulder, turning to the writhing fire ghoul. "Color, droplet?" Mountain asks as Aether's fingers slow.

Dew keens, reaching for Aether's wrist. "Green, you fuckers, don't fucking stop!"

Aether grins, flashing his fangs at the little ghoul in front of him. "As you wish, baby boy," He says, something mischievous flashing in the deep purple of his eyes as his fingers start moving once again.

Dew howls, throwing his head back onto Mountain's shoulder as the overwhelming pleasure assaults his body. Mountain takes the opportunity to trail kisses up the thin column of his neck, before licking a filthy stripe up the side of his jaw, grinding his hips into Dew's little ass.

"Cum for us, pretty boy," Aether coos, leaning in to kiss the corner of Dew's mouth, softly, gently, like he isn't currently fingering him. The juxtaposition makes Dew's head spin, the knot at the pit of his stomach tightening past the point of return. "Let us reward you."

Dew cums with a scream, gushing hot and slick down Aether's wrist, splattering on his shirt. His legs fight to close, but Mountain and Aether are much stronger than him when he's at his best, let alone after being their cockwarmer for two movies.

Aether works him through it, hardly slowing his thrusts, and Dew's eyes go wide as the pleasure turns nearly painful. "Aeth?" he asks, voice barely tinged with panic. "Mount?"

"Yeah, baby?" Aether asks, glancing up from his dripping cunt. "What's wrong?"

Dew paws at Aether's shoulder, digging his claws into his shirt. "Aeth, shit, slow down, fuck," he pants, fighting to stay still.

"I promised I'd make you feel good, didn't I, darling?" Aether asks, sinking lower and licking a stripe across Dew's throbbing cock. The fire ghoul squeals, turning and burying his face in Mountain's throat.

"You did, shit, Aeth, you did," Dew babbles, hips working even as the pleasure of Aether's fingers and tongue turns too much too fast. "'Cause I was good and quiet during the movies, shit, fuck, please, Mount, please!"

"You were so good," Mountain whispers, and Dew can feel the rumble of his voice, chest pressed to his back, and sinks his fangs into his bottom lip. The whole room smells of slick and iron, and it makes Dew's head spin. Or maybe it's just Aether's fingers that are making Dew's head spin. He doesn't know.

"So," Aether continues, craning his neck to look up at Dew's face. "Since you were so good for me and Mounty, such a good cockwarmer, we're going to keep making you feel good."

Dew shakes his head, biting his lip harder and harder as Aether doesn't stop.

Mountain leans forward, holding Dew's head still to whisper in his ear. "You know what to say to stop this, right?"

Dew nods, and he keens as Aether's fingers pet firmly over the most sensitive spot inside of him.

Aether settles the leg that he's been holding over his broad shoulder, leaning in closer to Dew's soaked cunt, licking his lips. "You say the word, baby, and we all go take a bath and go to bed, okay?"

Dew nods, but stays determinedly silent.

Aether grins. "Well, Dewey, I think three more will do. Don't you, Mount?"

Behind him, Mountain hums consideringly. "He still needs to make us cum too, nova. We had to be just as patient as he did."

Aether cocks his head, raising an eyebrow. "You're right, Mount. What do you say, Dewey baby? Three more?"

Dew squeezes his eyes shut and nods. He's in for a much longer night than he thought he was.

[marswasnothere]

Pretty in Pink : an unfinished draft that’s been left sitting in my docs for way too long

All the lead up to smut without anything happening, very abrupt ending, Bojan in the Pink Tavastia Collar tm, and the start of some good ole fashioned puppy bojan without getting to the good stuff

“Woo, home time!”

“I’m sooo tired du– hey, shuffle up– thanks, okay, cool… auhhhh… yeah, home time.”

“Vou, big yawn. You go sleep?”

“When we’re back at your flat, yeah.”

“Aww.”

“…what?”

“You miss out on surprise, Bojči.”

“…what do you mean?”

“Here. Look.”

“…”

“…”

“Is that one of the coll–”

“Shhh. Mikke front seat.”

“Okay, okay… just. Hhh– what the fuck.”

“You look cute in. I want to see my puppy again.”

“… holy shit.”

“You do not like?”

“No– no, I lov– it’s good, I love it. I’m wide awake now.”

“Phew, okei.”

“…I jus– h-how’d you get it?”

“Stole from Matti. Will return. Don’t stain it.”

“Jeeesus, Jere…”

— — — — —

The moment after Jere waves the car away, shuts the door, and kicks off his shoes, Bojan has him pinned against the wall. His eyes dart between Jere’s soft yet chapped lips and his icy eyes, staring right back with innocence, as if he hasn't basically been teasing Bojan the entire car ride.

When Jere showed him the collar, that little strip of pink dotted with black spikes sitting in his hand, Bojan’s mind raced back a few hours. He knew he was going to join Jere on stage for Cha Cha Cha for both shows, and half joked, half suggested that he wear the dancer’s bright pink costumes. Matti took that suggestion in stride and passed him his outfit to try it on, maybe recording something while they’re at it. Bojan could only slip the collar on and pull it tight around his neck before he decided that was enough, and sat patiently for Matti to pass him the costume from behind his phone instead.

Just a short, fun video. That was all.

Until Jere walked in and called Bojan “my pretty puppy.”

All he could do was sit as Jere tousled his hair and baby-talked to him in Finnish, pretending like it was absolutely not turning him on in the slightest. Bojan decided to test his luck when Jere gave him a command to speak, and he barked.

Now why, in all things holy on this very Earth, did his spine tingle with arousal all the way from his non-existent dog ears to his dick?

He tried to laugh the feeling off, and thankfully Jere joined him. Bojan prayed that his jeans weren’t tented when he passed the costume back to Matti, and hesitated when he reached up to unclip the collar.

“Here, I got.”

Jere’s fingertips brushed his neck. Bojan’s breath hitched. The tightness of the collar around his neck was gone, and for some reason, Bojan missed it.

“There we go, puppy.”

He could blame any pink on his cheeks from drinking. Easy.

What wasn’t easy was trying to stay calm when getting on all fours, letting Jere ride him with his hand so dangerously close to his neck, accidentally revealing his O-face to hundreds of people twice in one night, and then having to sit next to him in a silent car ride, knowing he’s going to get his brains fucked out and be barking like a dog for Jere–

He …huh. Okay then.

“You still sleepy?”

Bojan, back in the moment, lets out a weak chuckle.

“No. Nope. You kept me awake. Hand on my thigh and all that.” He tugs Jere’s puffer jacket off his shoulders. “I always fall asleep in cars, plus it’s, like, one in the morning. It’s crazy how a little bit of your attention makes me stay up.”

Jere smiles as he watches him talk. He slides the jacket off and hangs it up, then returns his hands to cup Bojan’s cheeks. They’re warm, flushed from cold air and close proximity.

“We celebrate now. To Bojan here in Finland,” in between giving a quick kiss to his lips, he whispers, “here with me.”

Bojan lets his eyes drift shut as they sink into a longer kiss. His hands trail up underneath Jere’s shirt, pulling him closer as he parts their lips with his tongue. Jere nudges forwards and their teeth clack together, but all Bojan feels is his adorable smile pressed into his lips that he’s going to feel imprinted on them, long after he returns to Slovenia.

He wants to revel in the warmth of Jere’s mouth, taste the slick wetness of their tongues together for the rest of his life. Bojan keeps his hands on Jere’s hips, gently squeezing his love handles.

“And to successful concert,” Jere adds, though it sounds a little more like “suck-ess-fool” to the Slovene's ears.

“Mmm, yeah.” Keeping his eyes shut, Bojan trails kisses up from Jere's lips to his cheek, then nibbles at his earlobe. In turn, Jere lets out sweet sighs of pleasure, his head resting on Bojan’s shoulder.

“I’m so glad we’re alone now,” he whispers into Jere’s ear.

“I get to see puppy all for myself,” Jere responds, breath hot against his neck

Bojan stills.

There’s that stupid little tingle again. It happened in the car, it happened in Tavastia, it happened in Liverpool when Jere called him his dog in that steak restaurant, and, fuck, it’s happened so many more times when Bojan fantasised about Jere all alone in his bedroom.

“Bojči? You ok–”

“Do you still have the collar?”

Bojan refuses to give him a chance to worry if anything is wrong.

It takes a second for Jere to verify the situation, and he grins, reaching over to his jacket. He dips his hand into the pocket and backs up against the wall, separating their embrace, much to Bojan’s dismay. It’s momentary sadness, as when he pulls the collar out, that little irresistible strip of pink fabric, Bojan swears he might collapse from how weak his knees become.

Jere dangles the collar from pinched fingertips, practically eye-fucking Bojan right where he’s standing.

“You want to wear again?"

“Obviously,” Bojan whispers, conscious of the heat in his cheeks and how embarrassing he must look.

Jere flashes a smile. When his fingertips brush against his neck, Bojan feels like he’s going to explode. There's no delicate way to put it. Jere knows his weakness and Bojan knows he’s going to use it to his advantage. The collar is soft against his skin, wrapping around his neck just like Jere’s hands from the past times they experimented together — explored each other's bodies, as one might say.

The ends of the collar click together, and an overwhelming heat rushes through Bojan’s body. He can’t help but shudder when Jere cradles the back of his head. Something about being locked in, being his puppy, being owned.

Bojan never considered himself to be a kinky guy, but he might have a few things to discuss with Jere in the morning after, including a trip to whatever weird Finnish sex shop they can find.

“How it feel?”

“…weird,” Bojan answers. Jere’s smile drops so he finishes his response. “Good weird. It’s good, just different, and I– I like it. Yeah… I like it. What do you think?”

Bojan puffs his chest out with his question, making Jere giggle behind his hand.

“You make very cute puppy, Bojan,” he says, “but I like you better on floor, where dog belong, yes?”

Jesus fucking Christ, if he doesn’t fuck me right here, right now, this trip was all for nothing.

His face gives away his thoughts. Jere laughs again, his hand moving up to stroke Bojan’s hair. Bojan relaxes at his touch. He glances to the side when Jere gently holds his greying strands in between his soft fingers, wishing he wouldn’t have a constant reminder of his stress poking out from his hairline.

“Am I going fast? Too much for you?” Jere asks.

“No– no, keep going, I like it when you talk and… talk about what you want me to do.”

Jere hums.

Bojan stares at his lips, plush, soft, a little chapped from the cold. He has no doubt Jere’s staring at his own too.

“On floor. Like on stage, you crawl. You crawl for me, like walking dog. You can do, yes?”

It practically rips the oxygen out of Bojan’s lungs with how easy and casually he can say that. Their eyes meet, Bojan staring at him, with parted lips and upturned eyebrows. He nods, awkwardly lowering himself while he holds onto Jere’s arms for balance.

“There you go,” Jere coos as his knees hit the floor.

He doesn’t seem to care about how hard Bojan holds onto his forearms, or how his ankles click, or how he groans at the aches radiating through his post-gig body. Every little thing that Bojan thinks about seems to fly right past his mind. How can Jere not see how embarrassing he looks? How pathetic, and desperate, and awkward, and–

“Good boy, Bojan. Good puppy.”

“Woof.”

Bojan barks.

He feels that goddamned tingle up his spine again.

AAAAAAND THATS ALL I GOT UP TO :DDD

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Human Salami

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

INT. UNDERGROUND METH LAB - NIGHT

Walter White, commonly known as Heisenberg, and Jesse Pinkman are working in their secret underground meth lab. The room is filled with industrial equipment, beakers, and blue methamphetamine crystals.

WALTER:  (intensely focused)  Jesse, we need to be precise here. The temperature needs to reach exactly 140 degrees Celsius.

JESSE:  (yawning)  Yeah, Mr. White, I know. But you know what we should have? Ejectable seats on helicopters!

Walter stops what he's doing and looks at Jesse, perplexed.

WALTER:  (confused)  Ejectable seats? Why would helicopters need that?

JESSE:  (enthusiastically)  Think about it, Mr. White! In case of a crash or emergency, you could just shoot up into the air like a fighter pilot. Only difference is, you go right into the rotor blades, and bam! Human sliced salami!

Walter's eyes widen with horror, speechless for a moment.

WALTER:  (slightly horrified)  Jesse... that's... gruesome. Human sliced salami?

JESSE:  (grinning)  Yeah, man! It's dark, twisted, yet kinda awesome in a messed up way, right? Dark humour, yo!

Walter's initial horror quickly changes to a peculiar mix of concern and pride.

WALTER:  (sighing)  Jesse, I'm not sure whether I should be horrified or... impressed? You're definitely developing a more macabre side.

JESSE:  (nods, proudly)  Hey, Mr. White, you've taught me a lot. I'm just expanding my horizons, tapping into some dark stuff. Breaking bad and breaking boundaries, baby!

Walter pauses, considering Jesse's words, then smirks.

WALTER:  (mockingly)  So now we're aspiring to be helicopter seat engineers for the most sinister purpose ever? Human sliced salami, huh?

JESSE:  (laughing)  Just imagine the headlines, Mr. White! "Homicidal Heisenberg and his Helicopter Slicing Sidekick"!

Walter can't help but chuckle at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

WALTER:  (smirking)  Alright, Jesse, let's get back to work. We have serious business to attend to. But remember, subtlety is key. We have no intention of becoming helicopter seat engineers anytime soon.

JESSE:  (nods towards the carcass pyramid)  Yeah, yeah, I get it. Subtle slicing salami, gotcha.

They both laugh, and with a mutual understanding, they get back to cooking the blue meth.

FADE OUT.

[perennialwitness]

NATALIE'S DEEM

EXT. EAST WENATCHEE - LATE MORNING

A quiet residential street coated in snow blackened by asphalt and exhaust. It is quaint by all definitions, one where if it weren’t Winter children would be playing, though now the only sound is that of approaching tires crunching through the packed snow. A mid-00s Subaru Outback, Earthy Green, All-Wheel Drive, slides wide around a corner losing traction for a moment before correcting. 

In the driver’s seat is NATALIE(22), she’s smoking a cigarette, cruising, soaking in the icy air even as it whips at her fingers and cheeks. Sunglasses on, headphones in— because the Subaru lacks an AUX plug-in— she’s buzzing and still a little drunk and/or high from the night prior.

She pulls into the driveway of a moderately sized ranch-style home. Lower middle-class, no gate, no dog, no garden. A single string of Christmas lights hangs above the front porch. 

With some work she gets out of the car and is on her way toward the door when she hears shouting.

VOICE ONE(MAN)(O.S.)

No, I will not calm down. I’m not going to take this shit, this is my goddamned house!

VOICE TWO(WOMAN)(O.S.)

What are you gonna do, huh? Hit her you sonofabitch?

While they argue Nat is still, she listens and digests.

VOICE ONE

Why would you even— You think that’s the kind of man I am?

VOICE TWO

Then what the hell do you think all this yellin’ is gonna accomplish? She’s a grown woman, CHARLES, you can’t spank her.

CHARLES

She’s still my daughter. We raised her, she needs to have some respect for our time.

Natalie turns on the spot. She’s headed back to the car when the front door opens and her father, Charles, appears in the doorway furious.

CHARLES

Nuh-uh, no you don't. Get your ass in here.

INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

Dingy white carpet, framed photos, wrap-around sofa, entertainment center, no bookshelf and a plastic Christmas tree, they’re gathered in the ‘Family Room’. Natalie stands at a slouch, her back to the exit. In the dim lighting she is noticeably ragged, clothes loose, hair messy, eyes bloodshot. She’s having a silent moment with her mother, LINDA, whose apologetic eyes disagree with the words coming from her mouth.

LINDA

There has to be a limit, Nat. Do you hear me? We cannot do this anymore.

Charles is too beside himself to speak. He’s chewing his lips, folding his arms, flaring his nostrils. After a moment of tense silence he manages to grunt,

CHARLES

Well?

And Natalie has the audacity to reply,

NATALIE

Well, what?

In a flash he sends his foot crashing into an end table, it goes flying, both Linda and Natalie flinch.

CHARLES

You think this is funny? Your mother and I both had to take off of work today. You’re so goddamned selfish do you know that?

Recovered from the shock, Natalie stands her ground.

NATALIE

I’m selfish? I’m the selfish one? Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t have to take this, you know that right? I don’t even live here.

Charles rolls his shoulders, ready for war, but Linda’s patience has worn now as well, she’s between them.

LINDA

Curse at him again and I’ll slap the taste out of your mouth girl. Where have you been?

NATALIE

(coldly)

I went to Dicky’s party, I told you I was going. Do you not remem—

CHARLES

That was two days ago! Do you think we’re stupid? You think you can just take our car, our only source of transportation and disappear for two days and we wouldn’t notice, Natalie? Is that what you’re telling me? If you are, I think we need to go and see a doctor right now because you must be out of your goddamned mind to think that what you did was okay.

NATALIE

I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I can’t do anything about it now.

LINDA

(pleading)

Take some responsibility. If you’re using drugs, you can tell us, we want to help.

NATALIE

I‘m not on drugs! I took the car out and I forgot to bring it back, I said I was sorry.

CHARLES

(astounded)

Oh, so now you forgot, huh? I can’t believe it, we raised a fucking con artist.

NATALIE

(loudly, under her breath)

You think you raised me?

LINDA

Natalie!

Charles is suddenly focused, his anger reined in tight. He stares at her, his only child, his best friend and she can’t hold his gaze. 

CHARLES

Get your shit.

Panic.

NATALIE

Dad, wait—

CHARLES

Get your shit, I’m taking you to the bus station.

NATALIE

I don’t have a place to live, Dad. The room doesn’t open up until January. You said I could stay for the holidays.

CHARLES

And then you stole my fucking car. Get your shit.

Natalie looks to her mother, why isn’t she talking him down?

NATALIE

Mom.

The eyes are back, apologetic, pitying. It hurts and because of this Natalie reacts poorly. The stress has begun to kick in, the reality of it, survival. How it would override her every sense, every thought. For the next two weeks she would not rest well, if at all. Everything would be harder from here on out and her light dims in response. 

NATALIE(CONT’D)

Okay, well fuck the both of you then, I guess. Dad, you’re a fuckin’ pussy who likes to raise his voice at women. Go fuck yourself.

Linda screams, enraged by the words. She lunges for Natalie but Charles grabs her.

CHARLES

(barely audible)

I’m not gonna tell you again.

Natalie, on her haunches, backs out of the room. They hold each other’s gaze and for a moment Charles senses genuine malice from her, guilt sets in.

INT. NATALIE’S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

She’s furious, at herself, at the both of them, she becomes a tense ball of rage and fear. Stumbling around surrounded by what remains of her childhood. Tears in her eyes she racks her brain desperately for solutions, but none come. She’s pumped full of adrenaline and has no idea what to do with it, her vision shakes and blurs, there's a ringing, coupled with what can only be described as “loud silence” and for a moment it overloads her, her body clenched so tight that the world goes white.

..

...

....

.....

....

...

..

Just after what feels like a little too long, she breathes and her faculties return. Shaky breaths at first, but she composes, then steeles herself and packs her bags.

EXT. EAST WENATCHEE - LATER 

The Outback slides to a halt at a red light. Charles is driving with no radio, Natalie sits in the back, behind the driver’s seat out of his reach. She is not wearing a seatbelt— one last act of defiance to Charles, a form of defense to her. 

The turn signal tick tick ticks as cars pass for what feels like an absurd amount of time, not slowed, but skipping like a record and resetting every fifteen seconds. 

Natalie is wearing headphones, her expression blank, her mind a storm of dread. They make eye contact in the rear view mirror.

Tick tick tick 

Charlie grows impatient, frustrated he makes an unprotected right into the slick intersection and the car fishtails.

A truck barreling down the road swipes the back end of the car sending them spinning with enough force to make a full rotation. Other cars swerve, rather than brake to barely avoid them. In the back Natalie slams into the door panel, her head bounces off of the window and she’s out.

EXT. EAST WENATCHEE - MOMENTS LATER

CHARLES(O.S.)

Nat! Are you okay, honey!? Nat!

Natalie comes to with a shock and clenches in expectation of an impact, but none comes. Confused, she opens her eyes, they’re stationary, she’d missed the end of the crash. Bewildered, she sits up and Charles sighs with relief.

CHARLES

Don’t worry, it was just a tap. We’re okay, right? Nothing hurt?

Natalie

I’m okay.

He’s no longer looking at her, but scanning the road. She puts a hand to her head to check for blood.

CHARLES

 Fucker smacked us and took off, these tweekers man I swear.

Natalie can barely comprehend him, her head is spinning. He gets out of the car to inspect the damage and she reels backward into the seat.

She lays there with her eyes closed for the full thirty minutes it takes Charles to assess the bumper and acquire evidence for his insurance claim. From inside she listens as he interviews witnesses, repeating the same few bits of information repeatedly to everyone who passes by, “Some tweeker is on the loose smashing into cars on the road”. He takes photos, calls the police, repeats the story to them as well, with fresh details he’d added with each retelling. By the time he’s finished Natalie has regained her equilibrium. Once he’s back in his seat he starts the car.

CHARLES

(clears his throat)

Cops are comin’, I asked’em if I could take you over to the bus station and come back. They said it was fine.

NATALIE

What?

He just stares out through the windshield as he pulls the car back onto the road. From her slouched perspective Natalie watches the clouds roll by. It’s two minutes until they’re pulling into the bus depot. No words are spoken.

Charles stops right out front where people shiver in the cold while they wait for their buses. He puts the car in park, turns on the hazards and looks back at his daughter. All that rage he’d had now gone, replaced with reluctant determination.

With her eyes Natalie acknowledges for the last time that this is what their relationship has become, they’ve reached the point of no return and Charles does not bend. He holds to his word. 

The bus station is busy, all of the action is on display. Two groups of teenagers squaring off, a homeless man in a blanket begs for cigarettes. A woman is having a loud conversation on the phone with her unfaithful boyfriend, a girl and her dog try to sleep on one of the benches but security prods her awake. 

It all plays out while the rear driver’s side door of the Outback opens, Natalie steps out, reaches in for her bag, closes the door and walks up to the ticket counter. She doesn’t look back as Charles rolls down his window, lights a cigarette and drives away.

[titularkilljoy]

sometimes and always

//a love story in five acts

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: It's hard to resist falling into bed with a cute neighbour, but it turns out it's even harder to resist falling for him. (alternatively- Spencer Reid and the reader struggle to resolve their feelings but make valiant attempts to do so while lying horizontally in each other's beds.)

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, strong language, decidedly non-American spelling conventions

Author's Note: SO. This fic was originally part of a fic swap for the wickedly talented @imagining-in-the-margins, but it is now over six months too late. Thankfully, patience apparently springs eternal in her?? besides all the other amazing things?? Unfair, but good for me. So, Pom, this one is for you. Thanks for being the absolute best and putting up with my rants and not judging me for mocking everything and everyone all the time. Love, Perpetually Tardy.

(i)

This is how it happened the first time.

I was frowning at the pitiful stack of mail in my hands, wondering if the conspicuously missing letters and subscriptions would ever be returned to me. Ever since moving to my new apartment, I had been at the mercy of the Postal System and that was never a good situation to be in. I’d resigned myself to having to take an extra trip back to my old building and do some investigating, when the elevator dinged and I stepped in. Just as the doors slid closed, there was the frantic rumble of footsteps and a hand slipping into the narrowing gap.

The doors sprang apart to let in the harried owner of the appendage, who barely spared me a glance before turning to face the front, eyes briefly darting to the buttons. It took me a second to recognise him. It was the guy from the apartment opposite to mine, although so far that seemed to be only a nominal living arrangement; in my two weeks there, I’d seen him exactly once, merely in passing, and we had exchanged a sum total of zero words.

I followed his lead and stopped blatantly staring at him, though I continued studying him covertly through my peripheral vision. He looked—well, his jawline looked like it could cut glass effortlessly and he had the soft chestnut hair of a male model and I knew I was probably going to develop a very embarrassing crush on him at some point— but besides that, he looked browbeaten, his whole posture seeming to buckle under the invisible weight of the world.

There was an awkward moment when he realised we were both heading in the same direction, and I took it upon myself to break the ice.

“Hi,” I greeted, introducing myself, “I just moved in. I don’t think I’ve seen you around.” I gave him my warmest smile.

His swift assessing glance would have escaped my notice if I hadn’t been paying such close attention; his expression was still shuttered off, but he offered an endearing little quirk of his lips and an introduction. “Spencer Reid. I’ve-uh, I’ve been away on a work thing.”

“Oh? What do you do?” I asked, beginning a leisurely walk down the hallway and fishing my keys out of my bag. I immediately regretted the query when, impossibly, his eyes became even more guarded.

“I’m an FBI agent.”

Well, that clipped admission would have given anyone pause. “Oh, wow. That’s really impressive, dude.”

“Thanks.” He hesitated before adding, “I’m part of the Behavioural Analysis Unit.”

“So, you’re like a psychologist?”

“I catch serial killers.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable so much as it was brimming with my insecurities. The alcohol in my blood helped with that, though; the next words were out of my mouth before I even registered the thought.

“Do you want to come in?”

“Oh, uh—”

He was going to say no.

“It’s just that you look like you could use some company. And I think it’s absolutely criminal that we haven’t gotten to know each other yet.”

“It’s really late.”

But he was rocking forwards on his toes just the tiniest bit, leading me to believe that some part of him did want to take me up on my offer that night.

“So it is. Come on, Agent Reid. Be a good neighbour.”

“It’s Doctor, actually,” he corrected. “Doctor Reid. I have Ph.Ds. Three of them.”

My eyebrows had risen to my hairline and, sensing the change in the air, he hurried to put me at ease. “But you can just call me Spencer.”

“Huh. You don’t hear that every day.” I chuckled sheepishly. “Well, come on in, Doctor.”

There was a moment when his whole body leaned towards me and his face looked conflicted but slightly enthusiastic, and I was convinced I could turn the night into a very pleasant one for both of us. Then, with a loud clatter, my keys slipped from my hands, startling us. The moment was broken, and I sighed in resignation.

“Let me guess, you’ve decided I’m too drunk and we’re going to go our separate ways.”

At least he had the good grace to look apologetic. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now,” he told me slowly as he bent down to pick up my keys and pressed them securely into my outstretched hand, “It’s late and I’ve had a long day. I’ll...see you around?”

“Sure,” I managed to say with a regretful smile, “I’m holding you to that.”

*~*

That, however, turned out to be easier said than done, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the Herculean feat of unpacking and organising my new place with a mild hangover and a tinge of frustration over lost opportunities looming over me. Once that was dealt with, the bigger challenge turned out to be actually locating the man in question. I knocked on his door a few times, but when the responding silence continued to persist for over a week, I began to think he’d just been a drunken hallucination in the first place. And the longer I went without any follow-up interactions, the more intensely I started overthinking the slightly fuzzy memory of our brief conversation.

Of course I’d managed to make a fool of myself in front of a really cute guy. That was absolutely in character for me. Every time I passed by his door, I convinced myself a little more that I owed him a sincere apology for my poor, inconsiderate conduct.

Beyond the embarrassment, however, work didn’t leave me much time to think about it, and by the time I was trudging to my apartment the next Saturday, the whole encounter had been relegated firmly to the back burner. Naturally, that was when the faint glow of light under his door distracted me from the very passive-aggressive email I was composing. I hesitated.

The deep breaths I sucked in didn’t serve much more purpose than to make me somewhat lightheaded, but I forged on anyway. I knocked on the door, and waited.

There was silence, followed by the sound of reluctantly shuffling feet, and then, finally, I was face to face with Spencer Reid once again.

“Um,” I started, “hi.”

He stared at me wordlessly for a beat, during which I started to wonder if he’d actually forgotten me already.

“So, we met the other day, and I just want to apologise. I didn’t mean to come on to you so strongly, and I get that you weren’t int-”

“Do you want to come inside?”

“..What?”

“Do you want to come inside?” he repeated, enunciating clearly. That didn’t clear up my confusion, though.

“Um. Yes? Sure. I mean, no, shouldn’t we talk about this a bit?”

He let out a tired laugh. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Alright,” I said, biting my lip. I followed him inside, and pushed the door closed behind me; it emitted an innocuous little click as it fell shut.

There was something about the weariness behind his eyes and the careful set of his jaw that made me want to study him and understand what was going through his head, but all I could glean that night was that Spencer didn’t seem amenable to much time spent on documentation.

“So,” I began unsurely, shedding my jacket and scanning the contents of the room, the piles upon piles of books and the distinct lack of much else, “tell me about yourself.”

“Didn’t I already do that?”

“Hmm, that’s not the whole story,” I mumbled, running my fingers over a broken-spined, wrinkled copy of Paradise Lost laid open on a heavy wooden desk. A single smudge of blue ink stood out against the yellowing page, and beside it, the print read: This horror will grow mild, this darkness light. “You’re not just an FBI agent.”

“That’s all that’s important,” he asserted, taking a step towards me. He had one eye on my curiously wandering fingers and, sensing that it was making him more antsy than he needed to be, I tucked my hands into my back pockets, facing him with a grin of false bravado. I really wished I was drunk. That would have made things infinitely easier.

“Besides,” he continued, this time meeting my eyes directly, “I don’t know anything about you either.”

“Fair enough,” I conceded, stepping closer to him.

His eyes didn’t leave mine, until my own strayed to the bobbing curve of his throat and the tantalising motion of his tongue sweeping over his bottom lip. Not for the first time that week, I wondered how terrible of an idea it would be to try to kiss my attractive neighbour. I could see my own apprehensions mirrored in his stance, and I saw the exact moment when he identified the focus of my gaze.

I didn’t have to spend much time contemplating. He decided, just as I did, that any consequences of this impulsive decision could be dealt with later.. I lunged for him just as he closed the distance in one long stride, grasping my jaw in both his hands. Then we were firmly attached at the lips, and his arms wrapped around my waist and dragged me closer, seemingly intent on devouring my mouth. Gradually, our actions slowed a bit, the kiss turning softer and more exploratory, our tongues winding around each other gently, my lungs readily accepting his deep, nasal sigh.

His arms around my waist were a steadily spreading band of warmth, and I could feel the growing evidence of his arousal against my thigh. I found myself thinking I could be very happy with just kissing him like this, feeling his breaths tickle my face, letting my hands suffer minute pinpricks from the stubble littering his jaw. But then his grip shifted to my hips and tightened ever so slightly, and it was like I’d been doused with fuel and set alight. My fingers struggled to unbutton his shirt as he pressed distracting kisses along my neck, my soft whimpers breaking the relative silence of the room.

All of a sudden, the ground shifted and my stomach swooped, and it took a second or two before I realised I was now in his arms, being carried towards, presumably, his bedroom. Content, I got to work on undoing the last button and trying to slip the shirt down his arms entirely. He granted me a chuckle for my troubles before laying me down gently on our destination and taking it off himself.

He didn’t waste any time in sinking his knees into the soft mattress on either side of my legs, helping me out of my own clothes and methodically kissing every bit of newly exposed skin, until finally, I was clad only in flimsy cotton and he was nosing at my aching core. With two fingers, he deftly removed the last of my defences and pressed his mouth against me. I moaned, my hands flying to his hair and trying to keep from pulling too hard as he used his tongue to examine every inch of my arousal, evidently experimenting based on the sounds he managed to elicit from me.

“Oh, my God,” I babbled, hips bucking wildly under the iron grip holding them down.

“Tell me,” he demanded, pulling away slightly, “tell me how much you like it.”

“Spencer,” I breathed desperately, “Please. I need- I need more.”

He hummed leisurely against me, frustrating me to no end. My grip in his hair tightened at last, guiding him where I needed him most, and I swear I felt his lips stretch into a smile.

It went on for what felt like hours, but there was no earthly way I could have lasted that long. He took mercy on me eventually, plunging two long fingers deep inside me, closing his lips around the bundle of nerves that, predictably, sent me into a violent, shaking climax. He nursed me patiently through the aftershocks, waiting till my legs had stilled before rising to undo his belt and rid himself of his pants. I was already mourning the loss of his closeness, and I pulled him back on top of me the moment he was within reach.

“Come on, Doctor,” I taunted, “It’s time you made good on your promise and got to the main event.”

“I never promised anything,” he retorted, but the playful glint in his eyes excited me, and while he reached over beside us to the nightstand, I rose to the occasion.

“Oh? Well, if you don’t want to, I guess I’ll just head out, then,” I teased, going so far as to attempt to sit up from underneath him. I felt a low, threatening sound begin in his chest and make its way up his throat as his hands gripped my wrists and brought them down to my sides, pinning me in place.

It was my turn to chuckle at his eagerness, lifting my head to briefly peck him on his lips.

“Don’t worry, Spencer,” I cooed, “I’m not going anywhere. Now fuck me already.”

“With pleasure,” came the response, and while I wondered idly how a smirk could simultaneously be sinister and bashful, there was the sharp sound of crinkling foil, and then he cut off my thoughts by entering me in one fluid motion.

“Fuck!” I cried out, holding him around the shoulders, bringing him impossibly closer.

“That’s it,” he groaned in my ear, “let me hear you.”

He set a torturous rhythm, thrusting into me harshly before pulling out slowly, carefully, making me relish the sensation, anticipation building steadily in the pit of my stomach and spreading until it engulfed me. A ceaseless litany of moans and whimpers filled the air around us, the source of each barely discernible. At last, I could feel myself riding the very precipice, and his name began to fall from my lips like a prayer.

“Spencer,” I called, “Spenc-”

He swallowed the rest of my inconsequential cries, bringing his thumb to where we were joined to guide me over the edge, and as I convulsed around him soundlessly, he reached his own climax, blunt fingernails leaving crescent marks on my hips, his heavy panting breaths stuttering, once, against my clavicle, before calming and slowly evening out.

We stayed that way for a few minutes, my hand combing lightly through his hair, his closed-mouth kisses pressing against my neck like a balm. Eventually, though, we had to move, and it was he who did first. He pulled out and walked away from the bed without looking at me, tossing the tied-up condom in the trash. I sat up, cross-legged, watching him for a bit, pursing my lips when I noticed he was actively avoiding my gaze.

I cleared my throat. “Where’s your bathroom?”

He pointed in a general direction and mumbled something incoherent; sighing in disappointment, I stood up gingerly and went to clean myself up. When I returned, the room still smelled like sex, and Spencer was still evasive, but he was sitting on the edge of the bed now. He looked up when I entered, watching me pick up my clothes.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly.

I glanced over at him. “Yeah, I’m good. You?”

Nodding, he watched me get dressed, then followed me into the living room and watched me drape my jacket over my arm. Then he watched me walk to the door, all the while not saying a word.

The cool steel of the doorknob in my hand, I looked over my shoulder one more time.

“Well, Spencer. You know where to find me, I guess,” I muttered, shaking my head slightly. Then I left his apartment, and despite the enormity of what had transpired during my visit, the click of the door closing sounded exactly the same.

.

(ii)

Of course, after that, I resolved it would never happen again. The man next door clearly had some issues with what we had done, and I couldn’t be bothered to solve them. It was, frankly, idiotic to jeopardise the prospect of good neighbours in favour of sex, however great it might have been.

It was embarrassing how quickly my resolution packed its bags and jumped out of my third-storey window.

I was awoken the next morning by three firm raps on my door. I think I knew, somehow, who was trying to get my attention, so I took my time, but the reveal of Spencer’s regretful face didn’t surprise me any less. I was wary as I stared at him wordlessly, cycling through all the possible reasons for his visit, and his eyes dropped to the way my arms tightly hugged my midsection. He winced then, meeting my eyes.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted,” he blurted, and it sounded so rehearsed that I had to stifle a guffaw. There was a flicker of something in his eyes that could have been frustration, but he powered through. “I’ve had a pretty terrible week at work and I think I was trying to get something out of my head. But I was awful to you, and it was completely my fault. I’m sorry if I offended you. I had...a great time.”

I’d been watching him carefully throughout his speech, and if he was faking the earnestness in those last couple of lines, he was an extraordinary actor. I concluded, as I studied the apologetic slump of his shoulders and the dark bags into which his eyes had sunken, that I didn’t need to worry about the veracity of his words.

“It’s okay,” I said hesitantly. “I mean, no, it’s not okay, it felt really awful, but thanks for explaining. I get it now.”

“Oh,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking off to the side, “that’s great. Thank you.” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

“Problem?” I was bemused.

“No!” He was looking back at me, now. “I- well, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting it to be this easy. I thought I’d have to convince you.”

“Huh. Well, you can still convince me, Doctor. Give me a second to get ready. You’re buying me breakfast.”

I quite liked the shy smile that graced his face in response.

*~*

It kept happening. There was no way I could have stopped it, and there was no reason I would have wanted to.

We quickly grew into a familiar rhythm. Each time, it started with one of us having a particularly stressful day. Each time, it started with a knock on the door and some perfunctory shuffling around. Before wasn’t the time for talking. Each time, we’d stumble into whichever surface was closest, and every time it wasn’t the bed, Spencer would make some halfhearted protests about germs and hygiene, before I shut him up very effectively with a manicured hand on his dick. Each time, in the During, I marvelled at how well we fit together, how quickly we’d learned each other’s bodies, and each time, I saw more of him than I had the last.

And I loved every bit of it.

Spencer no longer retreated into his shell in the After. He’d try sometimes, but I knew how to coax him out, now. I’d slip my hand into his, ever so gently, and wait. Or I’d sling one arm around his waist until he returned the embrace. I was getting scarily good at reading him. It was like working on an intricate puzzle, and every new achievement was rewarded with a deeper, longer look into his mind.

I carefully stored away every casual anecdote about someone from work or his godson or his mother, and I loved to watch the life burn bright in his eyes. Of course, they were all happy stories. I could sense the bittersweet aftertaste they left in his mouth, but he never let me inspect it too closely. In turn, I regaled him with tales of my own, of my sister and my parents, of my cat that was perpetually falling asleep on top of me. I told him all the easy, palatable things, holding back just as much as he did, always careful to maintain the wall of superficiality.

But things did slip through the cracks every once in a while, from both of us-- they were bound to, what with the sheer amount of time we spent together in various states of undress. Things that made me burn with curiosity that couldn’t be sated without jeopardising the very foundation of our arrangement. So I turned a blind eye to the jagged scars on his thigh and neck when he failed to maneuver to hide them; in return, he kept mum when I walked into his apartment, on the day of my worst professional disaster, with runny makeup and bloodshot eyes, shivering all over.

If he noticed that I kissed the skin over his scars a little more tenderly, lavishing attention on him the first time I saw them, he didn’t show it. If he liked the way I always nuzzled my face into the one on his neck when we were done, he didn’t show it.

For my part, I tried very hard not to read into the slow, shallow thrusts or the almost reverent way he handled me when my tears still hadn’t dried. I definitely did not read into the arm over my shoulder or the slightly baffled crease in his brow while we sat on his couch with a random episode of The Office.

And if, maybe, the frequency of his visits increased as the months went by, who could blame him? He was an FBI agent. He probably had a lot of bad days.

Sometimes, though, I’d go over when I’d had a good day and I felt like celebrating. Sometimes, I’d knock on his door just because I was bored and I wanted to see him. It wasn’t as if he would know the difference. Our bodies knew how to be around each other, and that was all that mattered.

This was just stress relief, after all.

(“Have you ever been in love?” I asked him once, abruptly, my heart still pounding as the sweat cooled on our skins.

He glanced at me warily, but he must have detected only honest curiosity on my face, not lovesickness or anything else that would have had him running for the hills.

He chewed on his lip for a moment. “Once.”

“What happened?” My finger traced an aimless pattern on his chest.

“She loves me,” he said, “but she isn’t in love with me.”)

We never articulated any feelings we may or may not have about each other or our situation. We dodged sincere conversation like it would kill us. So all the pieces we owned of each other were ones that we had been remiss in guarding diligently. That only made them all the more precious.

But on the heels of every stolen glance, there was a moment where he looked right through me, where I felt blank and insubstantial, like I was a placeholder for something or someone, and that would be enough for the wall to be between us again, rigid and unrelenting.

It was a shame that I was stupid enough to hold on to the scraps that fell through anyway.

.

(iii)

I was an immensely stupid person.

That was the only explanation for why I was leaning against the outer wall of our apartment building at three in the morning, desperately shoving my hands into my coat pockets to brace against the cold.

“You don’t have to be here.”

Can he read minds now? I wondered sullenly. Spencer was sitting on the front steps, with his head in his hands. His hair was dishevelled, and his eyes were the picture of torment. I would have loved to console him, but every attempt so far had been firmly rebuffed.

He had knocked on my door an hour ago and silenced my greeting with a bruising kiss. Of course, I knew how to do that dance, but Spencer had been off his rhythm tonight. When I’d reached for his shirt, he’d pushed my arms away. When I had kissed his jaw, he'd flinched. When I’d finally retreated in concern to ask him what was wrong, he had huffed out that he was perfectly fine, before trying to lift my shirt over my head.

I’d pushed him onto the bed and tried to distract him, and he had responded by clenching the sheets in his fists instead of grabbing my hips. I’d whispered his name in his ear the way he usually loved, and he’d climbed out from under me, sitting up on the bed with his chest heaving. At that point, I’d given up. What had followed was an exercise in patience.

(“Spencer, what’s wrong?” I’d asked again, to no avail.

“It’s nothing. I don’t want to talk about it,” he’d gritted out, glaring at me.

I’d sighed. “Okay, which is it? Nothing, or that you don’t want to talk about it?”

Silence.

“Well something is clearly bothering you. Am I just supposed to ignore that?”

“We don’t need to talk about anything.” He’d tried to kiss me again. That time, I was the one who pushed him away.

“No, Spencer, this isn’t working. I don’t think we should do this tonight.”

The glare had intensified. “Fine.” He’d gotten up and tried to put his shirt back on, but his hands were shaking.

Cursing my investment in this man, I’d helped him while he stared daggers at me. When he’d hunted down his shoes and made his way out of my apartment, I’d pulled on my coat and followed, petting my cat briefly when he tried to follow us.)

So now we were outside, experiencing the most awkward silence ever known to man. Every time I attempted to put a hand on his shoulder or sit beside him, he would tense up yet again.

“Yes, Spencer,” I replied at length, “I do. You look like you might accidentally walk into traffic. I’m not leaving.”

“It’s not your problem.” The petulance was beginning to get on my nerves. I hadn’t signed up for sleepless weeknights.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” I told him, shrugging.

I pulled out my phone to distract myself with the cute animals in my game. Spencer was still worryingly silent. But if he didn’t want to talk to me and he wouldn’t let me near him, there was little I could do but stand there.

Every now and then, his breathing would hitch, and I would study him out of the corner of my eye. Whether he fully registered my presence or not, I was unsure, but he seemed to be calming down. He looked less on edge, his eyes less wild, and I was about to approach him and try again, when a black car pulled up just ahead of us.

Both our heads jerked to attention, but the petite blonde who exited the car only had eyes for Spencer.

“Spence!” She rushed to him, pulling him into a hug that he slowly reciprocated. “Your phone is off. After what happened, I was so worried,” she murmured into his hair, her eyes shut in relief.

And Spencer-- Spencer’s face was something to behold. His eyes were tightly closed, his lips turned down unhappily, and his face was so naked and open that I almost looked away. Almost. The pain that shone there riveted me. I felt as if I could see every wound he had ever suffered, in that instant. He’d never shown me that before. And he still hadn’t-- this wasn’t for me. The embrace broke, but his face stayed the same while the woman fussed over him.

Something came back to me, a fragment of a memory. She loves me but she isn’t in love with me. Unbidden, a sound of realisation escaped my throat, drawing two pairs of eyes to the dark corner in which I had been so far obscured.

Spencer schooled his face back to some semblance of normalcy, and ran a hand through his hair.

“Uh, JJ, this is--”

“Leaving,” I blurted out, then cleared my throat. “I was just leaving. Work in the morning. Nice to meet you.” I tried to smile at her, but it felt more like a pained grimace.

I brushed past both of them, but hesitated on the top step. “Spencer…”

His gaze was inscrutable, and I was too tired to try to decipher it.

“Feel better,” I mumbled, and then I left them there.

*~*

I was not sulking.

I told myself this as I lounged on the couch in my most comfortable pyjamas, stuffing my face with junk food and watching Michael Scott lament his foot injury.

So what if Spencer was in love with a beautiful blonde while getting him to talk to me was like pulling teeth? It wasn’t like I’d been carrying a torch for him. We were just extremely compatible sexually. And in very close proximity to each other. That put us in the ideal position to hook up whenever we needed it. That was the extent of our relationship. For all I knew, he’d been sleeping with other people this whole time. I hardly had the right to protest it if he had. We hadn’t set up rules. We just fell into bed together as and when we liked.

It was a good, uncomplicated thing.

So I needed to make sense of whatever needless jealousy I was feeling, before I ruined it. I couldn’t sit around being pathetic. I had a life.

There was a knock on the door.

Sighing, I turned off the TV and put the snacks away. Spencer was quiet as I let him in. His eyes roamed the small living room as if he didn’t know his way around my place as well as he did his own. I perched on the arm of the couch and stared at him, hoping my face didn’t betray the rollercoaster of emotions I’d experienced over the last forty-eight hours.

“So,” I started, “you okay?”

He looked a bit startled, as if he hadn’t expected me to address it at all. I tried not to roll my eyes.

“Yeah. I’m alright.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I prompted, “It was pretty intense.”

“It-uh, it was a work thing. JJ helped me out.”

Of course she did. “Great,” I said aloud.

We looked at each other for a beat. “She’s the one, isn’t she?” I blurted before I could stop myself.

“What?”

“The one you’re in love with?”

There was a telltale spot of red high on his cheeks, even as he sputtered. “That’s not-- I mean, yes, but that was--”

“It’s fine,” I said cheerily. “I was just curious.”

He frowned at me. “She’s my best friend, it’s not--”

“No, I get it.” My stomach was somewhere near my feet. “So, do you wanna fuck?”

Again, he seemed taken aback. “What?”

“Isn’t that why you’re here?” I directed my gaze at his meticulously polished shoes.

“No.” A pause. “I just wanted to say-- would you look at me for a second?”

I forced myself to comply.

“I, uh, I wanted to thank you. For staying with me the other night.” The sincerity in his eyes was a bit too much to bear at the moment.

I hadn’t done anything, and I told him as much.

“You didn’t have to. Just being there was more than enough.”

“Right,” I said hollowly. “So is that it?”

“Yeah.” He seemed very lost. “Um, are you okay?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re acting kind of strange.”

“That’s because there isn’t usually this much talking,” I snapped.

I longed to smooth out the lines on his face and make him feel at ease again. This was supposed to be the good, uncomplicated thing. He was apparently making an effort. I could return the favour.

“I’m sorry,” I said, letting out a deep breath and rubbing a hand over my face. “Can I get you something to drink? We can talk about it if you want. Or just hang out.” I tried to squash down the hope that bloomed in my chest.

“Oh. Sure, if that’s okay.” He was chewing on his lip again, and it was unfairly appealing.

And so he stayed. I got two mugs of coffee, and when I came back, he was on my couch reading a well-worn paperback, as if he belonged there. I had to agree with the thought. When he heard me enter the room, he looked up with a smile.

When he left three hours later, I couldn’t remember what we’d talked about or the name of the book he’d abandoned within minutes, but I remembered the way he’d leaned close to me while gesturing wildly with his hands, and I remembered that we hadn’t touched beyond accidental brushes of our fingers the entire time.

He still hadn’t revealed the source of his despair, and I knew there was someone he loved. I knew whatever this was, it would be temporary.

But the smile on my face as I closed the door was real.

.

(v)

Spencer kept coming over. I was never given the chance to initiate contact because it seemed like he was always at my place. Whenever he was in the city, he would be with me. I started to worry about his apartment gathering cobwebs from the disuse. But I couldn’t honestly complain about this new development.

Sometimes we had sex, and sometimes we didn’t. Sometimes he came in sore and tired, other times he was brimming with excitement with a playful grin. Sometimes he was angry at the world and I was allowed to coax him down from his rage. Those nights were in turn infuriating and thrilling.

(“What happened?”

“Work.”

“That’s really helpful, Spencer, care to elucidate?”

“No.”

“Okay, caveman.”

“Shut up and take off your clothes.”

I’d rolled my eyes and complied.)

I enjoyed every bit of him. I wanted to observe and chart every one of his moods and his little quirks. I loved the small pile of his books that had found their way onto the coffee table. I loved introducing him to pop culture that he approached with the same diligence as he would a textbook of quantum physics. He was an eager student, and I attempted to return the favour whenever he launched into his obscure tirades.

Some nights I would drowsily let him in and he would crawl into bed with me, fully clothed. The following mornings, I would wake up with a silly grin on my face, seeing him utterly relaxed and at peace. We’d have breakfast in my kitchen and slowly come awake together over our steaming mugs of coffee.

It was fun, learning him.

In the dead of night, as I was drifting off to sleep, he would tell me bits and pieces of horrible things he’d had to see. All I could offer him then was a tight, protective embrace and a steady gaze as the words clawed their way out of his reluctant throat. It felt like he was giving me some sort of twisted boon, these revelations of his pain. I collected them just as carefully as I did everything else. If it was a part of him that was freely given, I knew I wanted it.

At intervals, I would have to remind myself that he wasn’t truly emotionally available. It wasn’t hard. I only had to picture JJ’s relieved smile and the raw uncloaked expression on his face that I had never seen again. He mentioned her every now and then, and I’d discovered that his godson was her child. He never seemed upset, talking about her family, but he wasn’t the kind of man who would resent another’s happiness, even if it was at the expense of his own. I knew that now. I still remembered the way he would pull away from me and flinch at my touch, and I knew I was playing a losing game. There was no way out of this where I didn’t get hurt. All I could do was try to control it.

Three months after that night outside our building, I knew I’d fallen for him.

I was in trouble and I needed to do something about it, quickly. So I stopped preemptively cancelling plans with my friends and coworkers. I joined a book club. I called in a guy to loudly fix my bathroom sink the day I knew Spencer would be getting home. I even got a gym membership. I tried to be away from home as much as I could.

Whenever Spencer texted me, I would let him know I was unavailable. His texts got progressively more frustrated. Watching the excitement on his face dim when I turned him away at my door was painful. But it was necessary. I convinced myself that when Spencer and I stopped existing in this vacuum without other people, my feelings would weaken and I would be able to get him out of my head.

It didn’t work, of course, and I spent every day missing him. I tried to distract myself with work and my suddenly-full schedule, but the feelings were still there. Try as I might, I couldn’t stop thinking of him every morning and every night, and every time I passed his door and every time I walked by a bookstore.

So when Neil from work asked me out a week later, I said yes.

I wore a nice dress and heels, and he picked me up. We went to a midscale restaurant and talked about boring first-date things, and I knew within the first fifteen minutes that I didn’t want to see him again. I went through the motions, smiled pleasantly at him, and told him I would take a cab home. When I walked dejectedly up to my apartment, it took me a second to realise what I was looking at. My heart leapt and I dropped my keys.

Spencer was sitting on the floor outside my door, and he looked tireder and older than I’d ever seen him. He had looked up at my approach. I froze.

“Spencer.” I hadn’t seen him in a month.

He looked me up and down, and there was an unhappy tilt to his mouth. I wanted to kiss it away. He reached for the keys and rose to his feet.

“Hi.” He held them out to me, and I wanted to laugh and the eerie reflection of our first meeting.

“Hi,” I echoed.

“Were you on a date?”

There was no point in lying to him. “Yes.”

He looked away, his jaw clenching.

Silently, I unlocked the door and held it open. After a moment’s hesitation, he walked in.

He paced the floor of my living room. I took off my shoes and put my keys on the table, waiting for him to speak. I felt out of sorts and unprepared for what was to come. Even when I heard him come to a halt, I didn’t lift my gaze to meet his.

“Why would you-- I thought we had something.” His tone was heavy with accusation.

I stared back at him in challenge. “Sure. We had something. But I didn’t want to fool myself into thinking it was more than it was.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Us! You. You send me all these mixed signals, and I know you’re still hung up on someone else but I let myself get in too deep anyway. I had to protect myself.”

“I’m not hung up on someone else,” he shouted, raising his hands in frustration.

“Of course you are!” I matched his volume. “You told me so yourself.”

“When did I do that?” He sounded honestly bewildered.

“A few months ago. You said you were in love with someone but she didn’t love you back. And then I saw you with JJ that day. I know it’s her. It’s okay. You didn’t promise me anything.”

Feeling drained, I wrapped my hands around my middle. The tears were threatening to fall, but I tried to hold them at bay. This would be over soon. It all would.

“JJ--” he barked out a laugh, surprising me.

“What about this situation is funny to you?” I demanded.

“No, listen--”

“You’re hot and you’re cold. You kick me out right after our first time and then you’re sweet the next day. How do you want me to feel about that?”

“I’m sorry about-”

“Trying to talk to you is impossible! I want to help you. But you clearly don’t want to talk to me!”

“That’s not--”

“And then you’re over here all the time, and I get that it’s because you want to distract yourself, but you have to know how it would con--”

“God, would you just shut up and listen to me for once?”

I glared up at him. He was undeterred, a strange glint in his eyes.

“I love you,” he informed me, striking me dumb. “It took me a while to realise it, but it’s true. I love you.”

All I could do was gape at him as he walked closer to me and took my tightly clenched fists in his hands. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like I was holding back. I’m trying to be better. And I don’t know what you thought you saw between me and JJ,” he said very slowly, stroking his thumbs gently over my palms, “but all that’s there is a lot of trauma and shared experiences. Yes, I thought I loved her once, but that was a long time ago. We’ve never-- she’s not you.”

Traitorously, that tendril of hope began to coil around my heart again as I searched his face, looking for a trace of a lie.

I found none.

I surged forward, crashing my lips to his with no finesse and too much force, but he was ready for me, releasing my hands and cradling my waist instead. I gripped his hair, letting the tears spill at last, an overjoyed laugh bubbling out of my throat and into his mouth. I let my hands roam the hard plane of his body, the delicious ripple of wiry muscle beneath his shirt, the hidden softness that only I could feel.

“I love you,” I told him when we broke apart for air. “I’m glad I can tell you, I love you, I fucking love you.” Spencer grinned down at me, and the look was so fond I had to kiss him again.

The rest was a blur of hastily discarded clothes and the steadfastly ignored pain of knocking into furniture before we finally found my bed and tumbled into it.

(“All this time, I could have had you,” I groaned into his ear while he thrust his fingers into me, mouthing along my jaw.

“You have me,” he promised into my skin an eternity later, when he was inside me and my nails were scrambling for purchase along his back, my vision going white.)

That night, there were no painful confessions or taunting insecurities. There were just the two of us, blissfully entwined together, and the deepest of dreamless sleeps. Somewhere in the middle of falling out and falling back together, we had found our new rhythm.

.fin.

[metalheadcowboy]

Billy could sense his father behind him without even looking, it was like a sixth sense at this point. Whether it be the death-glare burning through the back of his golden curls or just Neil's overall over masculine, overbearing aura that sent a chill straight down his spine, he felt it.

And normally, it would mean trouble for him, but as he looked at the suit clad, dapper Steve Harrington standing on his front porch he had a sickening feeling that right now the focus wasn't on him.

"Harrington..." Billy trailed, eyes shifting down to the flowers Steve was anxiously shifting between his hands. It was like a warning, telling him to go before things got more ugly than they needed to be. But, of course, when did Steve ever take a hint.

Suddenly, the biggest, goofiest smile Billy'd ever seen split the brunettes lips, spreading across his cheeks like the plague. It was all pearly, perfect teeth and nerves, but something about it was oddly... adorable?

"Billy Hargrove will you-" Shit. He wasn't, he couldn't be... could he?

"Steve, no," he whispered urgently finally letting his eyes fall back to where Neil sat in his old, beat up recliner, nursing what had to have been at least his fifth beer of the night, seemingly more interested in what was going on at his front door than the star player sliding into home on their television, "Just- you should go."

Billy's voice was first only because it had to be, for both of their sakes. The still cool late winter air brushed goosebumps along the blonde's skin, reminding him all too well of what season it was, as if Steve's little "promposal" didn't give it away enough.

"But-"

"Billy, who the hell 're ya talking to?" Billy visibly cringed and Steve still looked confused as ever, completely oblivious, as always.

"Nothing dad!" the shorter boy was quick to respond, "It's just- just a friend from school- he's here about a project!" It was a bold face lie, but the only thing he could think of in the heat of the moment.

"A friend, huh?" Suddenly Neil's voice was softer, more sarcastic in the most suspicious way.

"Shit, Steve, you gotta just- you gotta get the hell out of here before-" But it was too late, the signature sound of the rickety folding back into itself rang throughout the living room, hitting Billy's ears like a freight train.

"Go!" Billy hissed under his breath one last time, wanting to just scream when all Steve gave him was a confused, almost hurt look with those stupid big, brown puppy dog eyes that he would never admit he was such a sucker for.

The second Neil got to the entry way he pushed Billy to the side a bit, making room for his own body int he door way. Steve's sickeningly sweet fake smile came back for round two as Neil gave him a rather judgmental once over, swigging down another sip of beer, "Project, huh?"

And just as Steve was about to open his mouth Billy interrupted, "Yup, Chemistry, ain't that right, Steve?" the look in Billy's eyes said it all really, and still Steve didn't get it.

"No I just- I brought these over for Billy." he nervously gestured to the flowers in his hands and Billy half wondered if the blonde highlights in his hair sucked out every last brain cell from inside of his head because how could anybody possibly be this stupid?

"Jesus," Billy mumbled, just waiting for the smart ass comment Neil was sure to spit out.

"You brought flowers... for my son?" his father questioned and he desperately wished the hardwood would swallow him whole so he didn't have to sit through this, "What kind of queer brings-"

"Stop." Billy insisted, putting an arm out in front of his father who was leaning in closer, and closer to Steve by the second, "Just let him go-"

"Let him go, my ass!" Neil snapped, throwing his can to the ground, pushing Billy's arm away with enough force to make the teen recoil in pain, "Fuckin' fag thinks he can show up to my house and talk to my son, well he's got another thing coming."

"Dad, no!" But it's too late, the hard bone of Neil's left knuckles are colliding with the fragile cartilage of Steve's nose in a most disgusting 'crack!'

Before Billy can even process what's happening the beautiful roses have fallen to the ground, trampled and wilting with rage, and so has Steve. Terrified, the brunette tries to recoil, inching himself backwards on his elbows, bangs hanging in his face as he retreats.

"Jesus, stop it!" Billy begs, making a mad dash towards the two, but not before Neil delivers a swift kick to Steve's vulnerable gut. It makes him sick, makes him feel like he could throw up seeing his father hurt someone that wasn't himself. He couldn't help but wonder if this is how Susan and Maxine felt when they had to witness him get some of the worst beatings of his life. And if it was, then why didn't they stop it?

"Dad, please, cut it out, he didn't do anything!" he pleaded, shoving at his dads shoulder only for him to turn with a fire in his eyes.

"What, you're okay with this?" he counters, "You're okay with this queer coming to our house and treating you like one of them, Billy?" And in all honesty, Billy doesn't know what to say. The obvious answer is 'no' and yet something about that didn't feel right.

"Well, Billy? You gonna let this cocksucking lowlife come and treat you like one of his own? Have you really stooped that low." The words stirred passion in his stomach, made him angry for all the wrong reasons.

"No." he grit out, face angrily set in stone.

"Then hit him!" Neil called, "Beat the fag."

It went against everything he felt was right and yet there was still that shred of him that wanted to make his father proud, craved his approval more than anything, and it won.

Just as Steve had regained his footing, barely wobbling on two feet again, making a steep lunge for his car Billy tackled him to the ground with a loud shout, grunting at they hit the concrete of his driveway together.

and Steve might not have been the brightest, but he was smart enough to fight back, even if he had seen this play out before, and the odds most definitely were not in his favor.

It seemed even that Steve might win, that is until Billy got a firm grip on his highlighted chestnut, waves, tugging as tight as he could until Steve cried out in pain. The most high pitches, weak, hurt sound he'd ever heard come out of a human being that hit him right in the heart.

He had never backed down faster in his life, letting go and letting Steve push him into the grass, giving him one good punch to the cheek before pushing himself off the ground and making a mad dash or his car.

"Billy, the hell are you doing, get up and get him!" But Billy just let him run, listened to the elevated sounds of Steve's expensive dress shoes as they hit the cracked cement. Listened to his soft whimpers and distant grunting as he started the car and swerved off down the street, "Goddamnnit!" Neil cursed, "You almost had him, why'd you let him get away?"

And Billy was sure to get his shit rocked later, for losing to a Harrington of all the people in the world, but for now he was just looking up at he stars with tears in his eyes wondering what he did to become so forsaken.

----------

For @yallwildinrn because I promised them some big whump for being so kind to me :) (Sorry it was supposed to be longer but I just needed this to get out of my drafts I promise I'll write something else to go with it!)

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

no matter what it takes

summary: y/n is kidnapped, and for once reid can’t think of a solution

inspired by this request: Hiiiii! I absolutely love your writing it’s so amazing! I was wondering could there be a storyline where your all working a case (the reader is dating Spencer) and have a lead and you go to the suspect’s house and while there you get kidnapped when back at the BAU the team is trying to work out how to get you back and they get a ransom vid of you getting beaten (dark I know) so they all have to work faster and they find you but while you're taken can we see it from like Spencer’s POV and his thought process on your being gone. Anyways they find you and you’re like drugged majorly injured you wake up in hospital Spencer’s there and it’s fluffy at the end.I know that’s rough but I really love your writing and hope this is ok x

word count: 2,331                                                                                               reading time aprox: 8 mins

a/n: to whoever requested it, i kinda didn’t follow your format or ending. i’m really sorry to disappoint you, but i was writing the plot one way, then suddenly it took a turn. i hope you still enjoy it!

masterlist

Spencer’s POV

My eyes scanned the words in front of me, Charles Dickens displayed in between my hands. I hoped my thoughts would wander more as I explored the novel, taking my mind off of the case I worked previously.

Out of the blue, two soft hands appeared on my knotted hair, massaging the scalp tenderly. “Are you settling okay, my love? How was the case?”

I exhaled deeply, setting the book down beside me as I guided my best girl to my lap. I cushioned her to my side, nuzzling my nose into her shoulder.

“That bad, huh?” Y/N sympathized, trailing her fingers at the cut of my chin. I nodded into her, taking in her calming scent. She smelled of fresh daisies in the summer and the first layer of snow in the winter.

I lifted my head from hers, bringing my arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to me. I sighed in relief as a wave of calm brushed over me. “We were too late...we couldn’t get to one of the last hostages before the unsub.” I shook my head, taking her hand in mine. I examined the daintiness of her fingers, chuckling softly as I placed kisses upon each of them.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she whispered, nuzzling into me as we enjoyed each other’s presence. “Did you catch the unsub?”

“No...he got away last minute,” I sighed, running my hand over my face. “This unsub likes to make things personal. He only killed the last victim to mess with us.”

Silence infiltrated the conversation before it dived into the dark details of the case. The combined sounds of our breathing created a tranquil environment, lulling us to sleep with every second passed.

“I promise you Y/N...”

-

The shade of grey that covered the walls of the BAU prevented agents’ minds from meandering from their tasks. This proved quite effective in intended circumstances, although the caveat was the consequence of a disconcerted mind.

The film cast over my eyes exacerbated the existing burn from staring into space for too long. Although the sensation was unmatched for the void that consumed me from the inside. My limp fingers twitched beside me in a rhythmic pace, reminding me that this was real. My feet felt heavy against the granite tiles of the office, barely able to hold up the rest of my stature. I felt my muscles sag underneath my weight as the feeling of emptiness flooded from my torso to the knuckles of my hands.

“You be careful, Y/N!” I teased, watching as my lover’s silhouette disappeared into the elevator.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone!”

I shook my head, amused at the incessant Marvel-themed references that had been thrown my way since our last movie night. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

I hissed as I felt my nails dig into my palms. I hadn’t realized how hard I’d been clenching my fists until I looked down to see blood trailing around my nail bed. Shaking my head, I cleaned off the evidence against my slacks, watching it seep through the material.

“Guys?”

My head shot up to find Penelope typing away at her computer. Her brows were crossed with worry and her eyes would flicker frantically between her four monitors. The rest of the team seemed to follow me to her station, gazing with anticipation at what she discovered.

“What do you have Garcia?”

“I-um. I’m picking up a satellite feed somewhere in Danbury, Connecticut,” she spilled out, her fingers shaking over her keys. “Ther-there’s a livestream that just went active two minutes ago, an-and it’s...there’s-oh my god.” Penelope pushed herself away from her screens, tearing her eyes away as her face grew hot.

“Reid. Out.” Hotch demanded, not taking his eyes off the feed in front of him. JJ moved beside him, further blocking my view of the monitor. Her face contorted in shock and disgust, similar to the expression Garcia beheld moments ago.

“What...why?” I questioned, taking steps forward to investigate, but was ultimately stopped by Morgan. A coil wrapped around my insides, getting tighter with every breath that I took. The sides of my forehead began to warm up with a disorienting blaze, traveling down my eyelids. The fire followed down to the pit of my stomach, sending an uneasy chill down my spine.

“Kid…” he whispered, shaking his head in caution.

“What…” I breathed, feeling my cheeks swell up. Morgan couldn’t meet my eyes--none of them could. “God, it’s my girlfriend. I deserve to know where the hell she is,” I huffed, pushing past Morgan. Although the words were launched back into my esophagus, turning into bile that burned away at my pride.

A high-pitched ringing echoed and bounced around my head. My ears thumped with a resonating drum, overwhelming my senses. Every sharp intake of air felt like ice shooting up my nostrils, and every exhale felt like fire to my lungs.

Y/N was hunched over in a chair with braces around her wrists and ankles. Her beautiful hair was matted with dirt and blood, sticking to the sides of her face. Her skin was painted with a mixture of sweat and grime, hiding the usual radiant glow of her skin. Fortunately, the blurry pixels of the video saved me from witnessing the large gashes that ran along her flesh.

A man stood next to her with a Cheshire grin, his pervasive eyes scanning every inch of his work before breaking the fourth wall. He stared at the camera with a joyful gleam, tilting his head as he inspected the lenses.

“Spencer.” I imagined her call out. A phantom chant met my ears, remembering the softness in her voice and the soothing gravity she carried within her words.

“Spencer, stop it!” Y/N giggled, burying herself deeper into our duvet.

“Why baby?” I murmured into the crease of her neck. “We should just stay like this all day. Maybe if we stay long enough we can morph into a chrysalis.”

“Spencer,” she giggled. “Spence…”

“Spence?” JJ empathized, searching my eyes. She placed a hand on the outside of my arm, lingering there for a comforting moment. Although when she realized her attempts were futile, she retracted her arm with a tight frown on her lips. “I know that-”

“The feed is displaying audio now,” Garcia announced with a wavering tone. I slid past JJ, standing my ground next to Hotch as we listened to the livestream. Whimpers echoed throughout the concrete compound she was trapped in. Her body flinched as the man inched closer to her with an object out of view from the camera. The fear in her eyes left a sharp pang in my chest as a burning resentment ignited my bloodstream.

“Stop…” she whispered, pulling away from the man. “Stop...please,” she sobbed. Her face was contorted in anticipation, glancing down at the item creeping towards her. It was only then a glint of a metal object bounced off of the camera, a foreign substance leaking from its tip.

“Stop! Please!” Y/N’s voice amplified in volume as the inevitable came. “NO!” she screamed, thrashing in her seat as the needle penetrated the soft layer of her skin. “SPENCER! HELP!” she cried out, desperation seeping through her weeps.

A suffocating poison ran its course throughout my body, entrapping me in the limited reality of my abilities. I felt my inner conscious thrash against the walls of my mind, begging for an answer, a solution. I tore my eyes away from the screen, my hand unconsciously clawing at the base of my neck. Staggered breaths blocked my airway, and the room shrank under my feet.

I needed to get out.

I let my feet sweep me away from the office, as far as it takes. My back hit the cold wall of the eerie hallway, feeling the chill penetrate through my blazer. I closed my eyes as I banged on my forehead, hoping that the gears would start working, but nothing seemed to bring me assurance.

Nothing could assure that she’ll be okay. I failed her. I failed to assure her that I was going to keep her safe. I failed at keeping her safe. I failed her.

My heart was pulled against my spine, attached tethers tearing it apart in opposite directions. Contractions of adrenaline seeped into my nervous system as her anguished screams left the room silent behind me. It was like gravity had ceased to exist, leaving me floating in a mind-numbing state of desolation.

I failed her.  

“I’m always going to love you,” I reassured, tucking in a hair behind her ear as she swung her legs back and forth atop of the counter.

“Really Spence?” she giggled, bringing the spoonful of 3:00 am ice cream out of her mouth, dangling the utensil from the bottom of her plump lips.  “Prove it?”

“Darling, isn’t there a tub of ice cream--that I bought--in your hands?” I teased, tapping at my watch. “And last time I checked it’s the middle of the night.”

“Whatever,” she giggled, nudging at my shoulder. My hands traveled to the sides of her hips, pulling myself closer as I inspected the beautiful glow of the moonlight reflecting off of her visage. “I thought you were going to say something cute.”

“That wasn’t cute?”

“Not even close, Spencer Reid,” she mumbled, tapping on the end of my nose before taking my face into the softness in her hands. She playfully scoffed as we inspected each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours. My arms found their way around her waist, melting into her, as I lessened the gap between us.

“What is it?” I whispered, my eyes flickering from her eyes to the pigment on her lips. Closing in proximity, I nudged her into me. But before our lips could meet, a chuckle filled the air and a hand was placed above my chest.

“I...am out of ice cream.” With that, she scurried away to the fridge with a bounce in her step. I shook my head in amusement, whispering to myself.

“That girl’s damn lucky that I love her.”

Frenzied feet inside the office took me out of my daze, but it was the sound of soft steps approaching me that made my shoulders stiffen in anticipation. I collected my composure the best as I can, maintaining a brave face for whoever would walk into the doorframe.

I didn’t even bother to look up to see who it was. The figure’s footsteps halted beside the door frame, leather shoes in my peripheral. Without a moment of quiet, the figure stooped down with its back pressed lightly against the wall. Although despite the thick tension, the figure remained silent.

“You know I don’t always need company…” I murmured defensively.

“I know kid...I know,” Morgan huffed, bringing his hands to his head. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any.” He knocked his knee into mine, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “She’s going to be okay Spencer.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know that she’s strong,” Morgan countered. “You just gotta believe in tha-”

“Don’t- Don’t give me hope like I’m one of the victims we interview. I’m- I’m not a victim.” I nudged his large hand off of me, feeling confined in the big desolate hallway.

“I wasn’t saying you were-”

“But you implied it!” I combed through my hair, my lungs still sore from staggered breaths. “I’m...I’m sorry,” I sighed.

“I said I’m sorry!” I yelled, feeling my throat dry up from the venom dripping from my words.

“This is the third time, Spence. The THIRD time you came home late,” Y/N seethed.

“Who are you? My mother?”

“All I want is to know that you’re safe, Spencer! God! I wait here all day for you, knowing that you’re out there on the field, and something could happen. How does that make me feel?”

“This is ridiculous,” I shook my head, dismissing her ignorance. I headed towards my jacket that I strung up on the coat hanger a few minutes ago, not bothering to take my keys with me.

“Where...where are you going?” Y/N whispered.

I made the mistake of looking back and seeing the hurt present on her face. The apples of her cheeks were stained with tears, and her eyes were glistening with fresh ones. Her lips were parted ever so slightly, still looking plump and soft even in her distressed state.

“To work,” I monotonously replied, turning away from her. I shuffled out of the apartment with anger dominating every part of me, blinding me to the point where I guess I forgot to lock the door.

“I did this.”

Morgan’s head shot up at the utterance of my words. “What do you mean, kid?”

“I left her by herself...alone,” I scoffed. “We were fighting, and I just left her there. God, I didn’t even lock the door.” I rammed the back of my head against the plaster wall, squeezing my eyes tightly. “How can I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Hey, stop that!” Morgan intervened, pulling my shoulders off of the wall. “You didn’t know that this was going to happen…”

“Yes, but I should’ve known, Morgan! Don’t you get it!”

“Spenc-”

“I had one job…” I sighed, the inner walls of my chest collapsing into themselves. “God I...I should’ve known.”

My head fell back into the curves of my palms, my tears shamelessly peeking out of the corners of my eyes. My chest heaved reluctantly, as my heart lurched forward. Heat crawled up my cheeks, combining with the coldness of the tears running down my face.

Morgan’s supporting hand felt like a phantom’s upon the skin of my back, knowing that nothing compared to the innocent touch of my Y/N.

-

“What is it, Spence?”

“I promise you that....that I’m always going to keep you safe, no matter what it takes.”

-

taglist: @rexorangecouny​ @howdycharlie @honeymilk-4​ @linthebinbag​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @ssareidbby​ @kyleetheeditor​ @tclaerh​ @jimilogy​ @lulwaxim @jhillio​ @m3ssytrash​ @haylaansmi​ @meowiemari​ @ashwarren32​ @spencerwaltergubler​

[pallasperilous]

Fifty Ways to Lose Your Lover

{on AO3} “Despair” Studio Draft 09/18/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.) CASTIEL is verging on tears, joy and sorrow fighting for dominance. He knows what he’s about to say will be enough to summon THE EMPTY to claim him forever. DEAN is still struggling to process, but a terrible understanding is beginning to dawn on his face. CASTIEL ...I love you. DEAN (tearfully) I love you, too... ...buddy CASTIEL (Sighs grimly.)

> “Despair” Studio Draft 09/19/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.) CASTIEL ...I love you. DEAN (meaningfully) I know.

Haha sorry dude I’ve just always wanted to say that CASTIEL opens the door for THE EMPTY and wordlessly walks into the sweet embrace of OBLIVION. > “Despair” Studio Draft 09/20/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.) CASTIEL ...I love you.

DEAN Cass, man...I...how long have you felt this way?

CASTIEL Maybe...season 6? But I would’ve... (He pauses, overcome with emotion, then steadies himself to meet Dean’s gaze.) But I would’ve totally dicked down by mid-season 4.

DEAN Are you...are you fucking kidding me? That’s twelve seasons, Cass!! Network length seasons!

CASTIEL I didn’t think you could possibly reciprocate –

DEAN I had DESPERATION SEX with KETCH, Cass. ARTHUR KETCH. I had to get a TETANUS BOOSTER after that shit!  What the FUCK!

The pounding at the DOOR abruptly ceases. 

THE EMPTY (O.S.) Hey, so, this is getting weird, I think I’m gonna take off. 

CASTIEL Wait, no–

> “Despair” Studio Draft 09/21/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.) CASTIEL ...I love you.

DEAN (tearfully) Bazinga.

CASTIEL opens the door and hurls DEAN into the glistening maw of THE EMPTY. > “Despair” Studio Draft 09/22/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.)

CASTIEL ...I love you.

DEAN (tearfully) I love you, too.

BILLIE (O.S.) (Muffled, through DOOR) Pay up, bitch!

THE EMPTY (O.S.) Fuck!!  BILLIE (O.S.) There’s an ATM twenty minutes from here up 281. I’ll wait.

THE EMPTY (O.S.) Uggggggh you suck. > “Despair” Studio Draft 09/23/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.)

CASTIEL ...I love you.

DEAN I love you, too.

CASTIEL Oh.

DEAN ...what?

CASTIEL Uh. Wow. I just...didn’t anticipate this. I’m...not sure what to say. I kind of thought the EMPTY would, you know, take me. Before you could say anything back.

DEAN Huh. Good job on the wards, I guess.

CASTIEL Thank you.

A beat.

CASTIEL (nervous laugh) I really thought the EMPTY would have taken me by now.

DEAN Do you want me to check on her, or...?

CASTIEL If you wouldn’t mind. I just worry.

THE EMPTY (Opening door) Haha I’m fine guys, this is hilarious. Seriously Castiel, I’m super flattered that you think I could  come up with anything worse than dating an unemployed closeted dude in his forties who’s obsessed with Zeppelin and lives with his adult brother in a basement in rural Kansas, LMAOOOO enjoy couple’s therapy, bitch > “Despair” Studio Draft 09/24/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.)

CASTIEL ...I love you.

DEAN (tearfully) I love you, too. CASTIEL I mean that I love you in a romantic way. Just to be clear. DEAN No, I get it. Same. CASTIEL Sexually also. I mean, probably? Not super clear on that one, but I’m open to experimentation. DEAN I am ready to explore that with you at whatever pace and in whatever way is comfortable for all involved. CASTIEL Just making sure we’re on the same page, here: this is a homosexual declaration of romantic love. DEAN Yep. Super gay. ...queer? CASTIEL No, I like queer. It’s inclusive. DEAN An umbrella term, yeah. Reclaimed and shit. CASTIEL Because, while we’re both male-presenting, and I don’t want to diminish the significance of that, I’ve got a whole potential genderfluid situation going on, maybe also on the ace spectrum, and you’re...do you prefer bi, or pan, or...? DEAN Bi works. But, you know, 2020 style. CASTIEL Right, so meaning you experience attraction to more than one gender, not just two binary genders. DEAN (finger guns) Bingo. CASTIEL This has been a very helpful conversation. DEAN Yeah. I’m so happy we finally got to talk about this stuff, man. CASTIEL So am- THE EMPTY bursts through the door, seizes CASTIEL, and vanishes again. DEAN sighs.

> “Despair” Studio Draft 09/25/20 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.)

CASTIEL ...I love you.

DEAN Don’t do this, Cass.

CASTIEL Yeet!

CASTIEL throws DEAN against the far wall as THE EMPTY pushes through the door.

THE EMPTY Yeet?? C’mon man, this is my last scene. I don’t even have a line, I’m just a fucking special effect. Throw me a bone here. 

CASTIEL I apologize. Let’s go again.

THE EMPTY Thank you.

CASTIEL (clears throat) Yoink me, Void Daddy.

THE EMPTY Oh my god. > “Despair” Studio Draft 09/25/20 #2 DO NOT DISTRIBUTE INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT. (CONT.)

CASTIEL ...I love you.

DEAN Nice try, Chuck. Now let him go.

CHUCK appears, looking miffed. CASTIEL suddenly relaxes, like a puppet whose strings have been cut.

CHUCK Shit. How did you figure it out? 

DEAN Cass and I hooked up all the way back in 9x06, man. 

CHUCK Wh...no you didn’t! The crew just lost the light but had to wrap the sequence!

CASTIEL That’s exactly what we wanted you to think. We’ve been together ever since.

DEAN We had a vow renewal ceremony last month when we legally adopted Jack. 

CASTIEL It was very moving. 

CHUCK This is insane. You can’t do this! I control everything that happens in this universe!

DEAN Becky taught us about coda fics, Chuck. And that was all the opening we needed. 

CASTIEL Dean. It’s time.

DEAN I’m ready.

CHUCK Wh...what are you doing?

CASTIEL Your power only extends to shots that make it to air, Chuck. 

CHUCK (glancing at watch) No. NO.

CASTIEL That was a very long speech you had me deliver. Almost enough to take us to end credits. And then on to another show entirely. 

CHUCK I think it’s OUTPOST. I haven’t...I haven’t even watched it.

DEAN Jack likes it okay.

CHUCK (sputtering) You bastards. You may try to fuck with me between eps, but whatever happens to me still has to fit logically with the situation at the beginning of the next episode!  

DEAN Ah, yes. Tell me, who’s writing the next episode, Cass?

CASTIEL (with sinister resolve) Bucklemming.

The blood drains from CHUCK’s face. 

DEAN Then I’d say...

CASTIEL shakes his ANGEL BLADE out into his hand.

DEAN ...Sky’s the limit. SMASH CUT TO CREDITS. {on AO3}

[beann-e]

I wrote ‘ thank you for 300 followers ‘ angst ☹️

you knew this was wrong you knew it yet here you were standing in front of the stadium your heart beating through the sweater you wore to fight off the cold you had

to fight off the tears

the heartbreak and not only that but the pure sadness you felt for yourself

you moved through the hallways as you took a deep breath hand steady on the door. You felt as the emptiness of the hallway washed over you

“ once you do that y/n your not only on bad terms with one of them but both “

You dropped your head as you heard kageyamas voice come out softly.

He knew right now what you didn’t need was insensitive comments he was sure you’d get those inside

“y/n just don’t go in “ you shuddered when he reached out his hand to grab your arms and pull you back but your grip only tightening on the door

“ fine your funeral “ he moved back hurt at the action walking inside the gym your body following as he held the door open for you. “ you won’t be alone— I mean yeah kind of because your like dead but, i’ll — i’ll go “

Small steps echoing through the now quiet gym as everyone had been cleaning up to end practice but now all stood staring down at you

‘of course right now they all have to be tall ‘

“ ah ah y/n —w-what are you doing here “

you slowly pulled your head up as you toyed with your backpack straps in anxiousness

“ yeah —y/n “ that annoying voice let out as you heard footsteps “ what are you doing here “

you bit you lip as you felt your hands go sweaty

‘ I have to answer him ‘

“ I just —yams can we talk please “

he looked around in nervousness as he shook his head up and down “ yeah y-yeah sure “

“ thank yo-“

“ well I think that it seems of lesser importance if you waited all day to tell him “

tsukishimas voice continued “ I mean school just let out —could of told him in class “

he stepped closer to you “ lunch —he was with you oh no wait you sat somewhere else “

his voice was questioning as you pressed your teeth harder into your lip “ or were you sitting on someone else “

“ tsukki “ yamaguchis voice came out in a squeal everyones body shaking as you felt people look to you and then back to the floor trying to save you the embarrassment

“ what their the one who’s clearly not being honest here “ his eyebrows tightned in disgust “ just fucking dump ‘em already they didn’t even come here to tell the truth “

“ yeah but they might have been willing to tsukki if you just “

“ if I what ? was nice about it like you are “

“ ye—“

“ that’s why your getting fucking cheated on right now yamaguchi “

your breath stopped as the room went even quieter you could feel your boyfriends eyes prickle with tears at the accusation “ I-“

your voice got cut off as yams spoke “ that’s not -why would — your your out of line “

“ i’m “

“ why else do you think their standing here — why they avoided you all fucking day “ he sighed “ yams come on don’t be so fucking dense over a s/o “

“ wait let’s talk about thi— “ sugawaras voice was civil as everyones pointed looks moved to him

“ please “ you cried tears already hanging off your lashes “ I—I didn’t cheat I didn’t “

you felt your body grow hot at the new tears and the warmth from someone’s eyes pressing down on your skin “ it wasn’t like that I just — please “

“ then what was it like because as far as I could tell “

“ no no we —we were just talking and I “

“ oh so sitting on someone else lap is talking — letting someone else feed you is talking —y/n how about cheering for someone else at a match your boyfriends on the same court as “

you felt your eyes go blurry “ tsukishima I didn’t — it didn’t feel like cheating just please “

“ it didn’t feel like cheating — then what did it feel like y/n ? because I know how it felt when my best friend was waking me up in the middle of the night in fear when he saw you getting your fucking face eaten at the summer vol-“

“ please I didn’t mean for it t—“

“ what y/n what ? everything I hear out of you is excuses—just own up to it already —that’s the least this new shitty person i’m looking at could do “

“ tsukishima let’s just “ daichi said trying to help calm the situation down “ it’s yamaguchi a — “

“ why do you care so much “ kageyamas voice came out in question as he sipped his milk

“ I mean it seems like it has more to do with them and Yamaguchi than you “

“ because I — “ he scoffed “ imagine getting woken up the whole time we were at the camp at 4 in the morning just to go with your best friend to watch his girlfriend kiss an asshole while he cries next to you—every single day for a week “

“ we—”

“ then they just lie the whole time even after they got caught In the act —I mean I got fucking proof —really “ he laughed “ it’s gotta be considered annoying at some point “

“ please i’m not lying he just “

“ who “ yamaguchis voice came out as you sucked in air “ please let’s just —let’s cut the s-shit who was it—we could never tell it was always so dark when you two met up “

your body dropped at the word he’d never cursed at you before

“ it was — “ you gulped you didn’t even know if the person actually liked you or if they were just doing it because you were the only real girl who spent the night in the same dorms due to lack of space but you liked him

you liked him enough to forget your own boyfriend

using the guy and the camp as if it were a spa retreat

How Had you messed up everything that brought you happiness in a short quick week

“ i’m so sorry “

“ you didn’t say the name “

“ what team “

“ a-aobi johesai “

his body stopped “ oika—“

“ THE GREAT KING “ hinata looked at you sadly “ I — I thought better of you y/n “

you cried more as tsukishima laughed “ yeah right not even him it’s someone else —even he wouldn’t stoop that low “

he looked down on you as he finally stood in front of you whispering “ what the fuck are you dragging this out for tell them who you cheated with— he’s not even ace “ his voice hurt you

“ he’s not captain he’s fucking— “

“ mattsukawa “

your body lifted as you let his name out

“ mattsukawa is who I was meeting with at night “

you let your bottom lip go as you took a deep breath heavy eyes now pulled up to meet everyone “ I didn’t mean for — I think he — I don’t know what happened one minute i was —we were sitting down and the next he wa—“

“ no “ kageyamas voice came out “ your the — “

you looked over at the tall male before directing your eyes to all the third years whos mouths were wide open

“ holy hell your the — your the person that everyone was talking about at the barbecue “

you felt your eyes drop

“ he — he talked about me“ your body fluttered

“ look at ‘em actually liking him “ tsukishima laughed scoffing at the end due to your small look of hope “ you still have a boyfriend y/n not for long but —seriously in his face”

“ uh y/n he “

“ no please I don’t —not here “ sugawaras voice came out caring “ let’s just tell them later “

“ no that’s not righ— “ asahis voice came out

“ he told everyone you were easy “ kageyama said as he crushed his milk box

“ he told everyone on that team that you were simple and that he swore he could get you easily boyfriend or not “

your body shook “ wha—huh — no you “

“ you were a bet y/n—nothing more ,nothing less “ kageyama stared you down eyes holding pain for you but, knowing this was your only chance to fix everything with yams if you knew the truth.

He knew the only way to get you out of this crush mindset was to be harsh

“ y/n we swear if we’d known he was talking about you we would’v-”

again sugawara was cut off eyes going straight to kageyama while his face held annoyance at the first year

“ he took a bet with some other asshole that he could —I don’t know what he meant but he said he could ‘tap that’ and if he could everyone on the team would owe him yen”

your heart fell and your body slumped “ I-I gave hi—I gave him everything “

“ everything ? “ daichis voice came out confused

“ y/n it was only a week long camp how did you? there wasn’t much to give “

your mind went blank as you felt your body grow cold eyes coming up to meet with a disgusted and hurt yamaguchi who stood in shock mouth wide open

“ y-y/n you didn’t “

“ i— I thought that —he talked me int—“

you watched as he moved quickly to the door the loud echo from the slam moving throughout the room

“ uh ? “ tsukishimas voice sounded confused as he lost what you meant not being able to decipher the situation anymore “ I don’t — I don’t get this part “

“ because you start shit tsukishima and don’t know the whole story “ kageyamas voice was crisp

you felt your legs turn to jelly as you back away from the rest of the males running out of the door and home pulling your phone out as you dialed the number you were given

“ yoohoo~ this is the fuckboy hotline how can he help you “

you could hear the laughs over the phone as mattsukawas voice came out in small protest in the background

Them finally calming down as oikawa spoke “ ok no but we’re in the middle of practice which one is this “

“ how much you wanna bet it’s the girl he talked to last match “

“ no no it’s gotta be the one from the market “

“ your all wrong it’s gotta be the person from camp “

they all laughed “ yeah right— that one had a boyfriend matsu-chan’s got no balls for that one “

“ even I know not to touch that one — tried it cause their hot but they weren’t interested in leaving the guy “ oikawas voice came out in a scoff “ y/n’s smart honestly —that’s why she’s with that nice guy cause she wants to be taken care of I doubt they gave in to an asshole like him “

“ but dude swear it they were all over him when he said that their boyfriend sent him to dump ‘em “

“ shit— you lie —they believed that “

“ I mean “ you could feel the shrug that took place over the phone

“ woke up with ‘em in the same room as us “

“ damn mattsu got the angel from camp “ you could feel oikawas pout

“ crap I really wanted her too anytime I tried they said they were happy with spotty boy “

iwazumis voice was questioning as you listened in breathing getting heavier “angel from camp ? what the hell— mattsu you played another one I thought I asked you to stop “

“ I-I did “

“ then who’s that “

your voice came out in tears as you spoke “ c-can I—can I please just talk to mattsukawa “

You just needed reassurance everyone was wrong they had to be —they were

he told you there was no one else that cared enough to tell you about yams cheating.

that yamaguchi trusted him to tell you because tsukishima hated you which, was totally believable after just now

that everyone was lying and he — he was right he had to be

“ holy shi— “ oikawas voice went high in a squeak as he heard the whimpers “ oh hell mattsu-chan —your doing extra spikes what’d you do —whoever this is their crying “

“ which one is it “

“ pl-please oikawa just its y/n just please — “

“ fuck fuck fuck — “ you heard mattsukawas voice come out in panic “ I—i’m not here “

your heart dropped

“ uh — hes not here we um“

“ who’s that which one is that “

you heard as oikawa tried to whisper in hopes you didn’t hear “ that’s— it’s the one he banged at camp for the dare— the crows manager — the freckled losers s/o “

“ t-they did it ? they —mattsu how’d you get that “

“ I just —I might’ve told ‘em their boyfriend didn’t want them anymore “

the team went silent “ i swear I didn’t expect anything other than a kiss so I could get my money but once I kissed em —I —I screwed up I went too fast and —you gotta get ‘em off the phone “

you could hear his panicking “ I took their virginity on accident i swear I swear—I swear “

your hand shook as cries poured from you hearing a louder scream ram into your ear form the other end of the phone

“ do you not feel ashamed “

iwaizumis loud voice rang out “ you—you asshole how dare you —how can you take something like that accidentally—how can you take that from them “

“ I swear I didn’t me—they were sad and i — I didn’t know how to help and we were already halfway there and— “

you heard as the phone dropped to the floor Iwas loud voice booming on the other line hearing the occasional grunt and shuffling on the floor

you ghosting your shaky thumb over the end call button until you felt someone else’s hand lead yours to the red button

your body relaxing when you felt the hand you’d always loved to hold

relaxing into his back that pressed against your backpack only to feel him move away and his warm hand leave your own your hand moving out to grab his again as you turned around

“ no y/n “ his voice was so soft it hurt “ no you don’t get that — you don’t get my comfort “

you couldn’t even argue head looking to the gravely road

“ y’know if anybody I would have thought it’d be tsukishima “ he laughed a little “ that’s what I was afraid of y’know the whole time we dated I was scared you’d leave me for him — i was insecure really “

he shook his head “ but you always reassured me telling me you didn’t see him that way you didn’t like him there was nothing to worry about with him— and I just “ he scoffed his hand running over his face In exhaustion “ I guess I should have asked about other guys and not my fucking best friend— shouldn’t have had such a closed mind to be jealous of my best friend should have been jealous of every guy that passed my view when I was with you “

“ yams n— “

“ please don’t make this harder than it needs to be “ your head rose up at his words finally seeing his red stained eyes and floppy hair that he’d fixed desperately to cover them “ your already making it hard by standing there looking just as beautiful as you looked the day I stammered my way through asking you out “

he smiled “ come here “ you moved over slowly to his arms as he hugged you tightly “ yams please I didn’t mean— he just —he told me “

“ I know I know “ he rubbed your back as you calmed down into him his body encasing your own like a teddy bear that you needed to cry into after a hard day

“ we can fix it and we can just work through this —I know “

“ yeah your right “

he kissed the top of your head continuing to rub your back the moment feeling calm. You’d known yamaguchi wasnt one to keep grudges nor was he one to be mean. So this wasn’t very surprising for you.

You were thankful that he’d give you another chance that you even had a boyfriend like that it was truly a blessing for you causing you to hug him tighter

“ we— we can work through this “ he pulled back to look at you a smile on your face as you looked up at him his own mouth quirking up

“ separately “ he rubbed your arms up and down in a way of comfort “ don’t come to the next travel match y/n “

your face and heart dropped all at once “ but— yams i’m — im a manager “

“ yes I know but — the only reason why you were one was because you were my s/o they made an exception we had enough we only needed two”

“ wh— “

“ I think it’s best if we just go our separate ways — meaning you don’t have to pretend to like managing the team anymore and I can try to suck up my feelings for you “

he stepped back as he wiped his face “ i’m sorry but —i’m tired of getting walked over I need to make boundaries for myself and other people“

you shook silently head threatening to blow off in the amount of pain you were sheltering as he nodded towards your front door “ go on “

you looked between him and your house

“ I still wanna make sure you get in safely “

he smiled softly as you walked to your door moving to open it after toying with the lock

his eyes still on you until you walked in the house to look through the window him nodding twice to the floor, and putting his hand over his heart before he looked to your window he knew you always watched him when he left after dropping you off

he finished by waving his hand and turning around to leave

your back hitting the door and falling to the floor quickly tears falling hard and fast

you weren’t crying because he left you

you weren’t crying because you’d cheated

you were crying because he still said he loved you in the hand signals you two created for each other and gave you the same goodbye he’d given you everyday for two years since grade school

[vangoghmusings]

are you hiding too? part two | shoto todoroki x reader

summery: part two of “are you hiding too?” read part one here: ✿✿✿

college au + nsfw 

pairing: shoto todoroki x fem!reader

word count: >3,000

warnings: cussing, mention of drugs and alcohol, nsfw, oral, intercourse 

a/n: oh my goodness, i can’t believe you guys wanted a part two!! and with smut?! lord have mercy, i can’t believe i’m giving y’all permission to be horny on main smh...oh well >:) i had a really great time writing this and if you guys dont like it i might actually cry...hehe enjoy!! 

taglist: @mixfi​ @lilacskyura​ @brownmoonchild (comment or message me if you would like to be added)

After what seemed like ages of attempting to drag Mina and Ururaka to their shared dorm, you finally managed to put them into bed. You felt drained, the two of them were completely drunken toddlers. Except worse because they reeked of vomit and were far from cute. 

You walked took the stairs to your own dorm, sneaking in quietly. Tsu was asleep in her room, and you did your best to not wake her up. Your phone chimed, signaling you had failed. 

“Shit shit shit,” You whispered, quickly turning your phone on silent. You made your way into your room, closed the door behind you, and plopped onto your bed. You exhaled deeply, exhausted from your night before looking at who had texted you. 

unknown number: hey, y/n its shoto :-) 

You blinked and bit your lip, your cheeks heating up. You recalled the nights events. You had only just truly met Shoto, but the way he kissed you made it seem like you had known him for a lifetime. Before you could reply, you heard your name being shouted from your window. You hurried over to the window and peered your head out. On the sidewalk below stood the very drunk Denki Kaminari and a plastered Eijiro Kirishima. 

“Oh y/n, y/n, let down your hair!!” Kirishima sang, his words slurring together. 

“Nah man you gotta be like, HEY Y/N FLASH ME YOUR TITS!” Kaminari wailed, flinging his shirt in the air. 

You rolled your eyes, “Go to bed boys.” 

Their eyes widened seeing you look down at them. Kirishima cleared his throat. 

“Shall I compare thee to a summers day-” 

“CMON Y/N, LET US UP! WE’LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE,” Kaminari sang, thrusting his hips out in the air suggestively. 

You laughed and shut the window and closed your curtains. You hopped into the shower, washing off the smell of weed, alcohol, and Mina’s vomit. You got into your pajamas and crawled into bed. You remembered the text from Shoto and eagerly grabbed your phone, replying quickly. 

you: hi shoto, did the party die down? 

shoto: yes, thank goodness. did you get home safely? 

you: yes :) thank u,, hows whiskers? 

shoto: he left me for koda :-( 

you: oh you poor thing!

shoto: i know what would make me feel better though...

you: hm? whats that 

shoto: can we go on that date sooner? like, sunday? 

you: sounds perfect :)

It was Friday going into Saturday. You almost wished he’d ask to see you tomorrow, but that must’ve seemed too eager. Another text came in as you looked back to the screen. 

shoto: great :-) i’m beat so im gonna go catch some zzz, good night 

you: good night shoto 

You felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. You barely knew him but everything just felt so normal. 

Before you knew it your eyes fluttered shut and you were sound asleep. 

✿ 

You were woken up, quite harshly by Mina and Ururaka screaming in your face. Mina shook your shoulders, your head wobbling around. 

“Okay okay!” You groaned, pushing Mina off of you. 

“IS IT TRUE?!” She shouted. You rubbed your eyes, irritated from the rude awakening. 

“How the hell did you guys even get in here?” 

“Tsu let us in,” Ururaka chimed in. 

“Sorry!” Tsu yelled from out in the living room, causing you to sigh. 

“Stop dodging the question!” MIna said, gripping your shoulders once again. You slapped her hands off. 

“What question?” You glared. 

“That you made out with THE Shoto Todoroki!” 

You blinked. 

“ARE YOU SERIOUS MINA YOU WOKE ME UP TO ASK ME THAT?! YOU WERE THERE!” 

Ururaka squeaked at your sudden outburst, pulling Mina away. 

“Thats what I told her! She couldn’t remember,” She said, Mina pouting. 

“Just how drunk were you last night?” You question, Mina turning away in shame. 

“Enough to forget that you made out with Shoto,” She grumbled. 

You chuckled and got out of your bed stretching. 

“Mmm, well, yeah. And we’re going out on Sunday.” 

Their jaws dropped. 

“SUNDAY?!” 

You cringed at their shouting. Ururaka began spilling out a bunch of dating advice while Mina kept begging you to tell her all the details in case you got the opportunity to “give him the ol’ razzle dazzle” as she put it. 

“Hey I made waffles! Get them while they’re hot!” Tsu yelled. The three of you looked at each other before running into the the kitchen, sitting down at the table, and proceeding to stuff your faces. 

“So, Todoroki huh?” Tsu said, sitting down beside you. You blushed and nodded, cheeks full of waffle. 

✿ 

You anxiously pressed your hands on your skirt. Shoto was supposedly 10 minutes away and you had no clue to where he was taking you. You stared at your self in the mirror. You donned your most confident inducing outfit, a mini skirt and lace trimmed top. You took a deep breath before reaching down to slip your sneakers on. There was a knock on the door and you shot right up. You ran to the door and inhaled deeply as you opened the door. 

“Shoto- What are you doing here?” 

Standing infront of you was Mina and Ururaka, pure excitement in their eyes. 

“We came to see you get ready-”

“We wanted to make sure you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself,” Mina said cutting the brunette off. 

You rolled your eyes and let them inside. 

“He’s supposed to be here soon,” You said, the nerves bubbling up once again. 

“You’ve got this y/n!” Ururaka cheered, giving you a tight squeeze. Mina made her way to the fridge, shuffling around and grabbing a day old breadstick from a pizza box. You tilted your head at her. 

“What are you doing? Those are mine!” 

“You can’t possibly think I’m going home when you’re going out with him. I need to be here for when you get back so you can tell me every juicy detail,” Mina scoffed, punctuating the sentence with the last few words. 

You huffed and nodded, your eyes widening as a knock was heard at the door. 

“OH MY GOD!” Ururaka mouthed, waving her hands in the air frantically. 

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE’S HERE HE’S FUCKING HERE,” Mina mouthed, jumping up and down, the breadstick flopping between her teeth. 

You opened the door, relieved to see the real Shoto standing there. You smiled up and him, praying he couldn’t see how nervous you were. 

“Hey,” You said breathlessly. Shoto looked, stunning. You thought he looked beautiful in the dim yellow lighting of the room at the party, you were proven wrong. He wore slim trousers and a gray button up, open at his collarbones. 

Shoto’s eyes seemed to replicate the same thoughts. 

“H-hey,” He said, nerves edging his voice. He tried his best to not make it too obvious that his eyes were raking you up and down. 

You closed the door, Mina and Ururaka giving you energized thumbs up. 

“Sorry about that,” You blushed, walking at his side.”They were excited to see you take me out.” 

“I don’t blame them, I’m excited to take you out too,” He smiled sweetly. 

You punched his shoulder playfully, “Don’t be so cheesy.” 

He chuckled, making his way to his car and opening the passenger door for you. You stepped inside, looking around. You inhaled, his car smelled just like him. 

He sat down in the drivers seat and buckled himself in, you doing the same. 

“So, you never told me where you’re taking me.” 

“Oh?” He smirked. “I know.” 

“I hope this isn’t a plot to murder me.” 

“Oh no, nothing like that,” He laughed, turning on the ignition and beginning to drive.  

You arrived at what you believed to be an art museum. He hopped out of the car and ran to open the door for you. You beamed up at him as he took your hand, walking inside. 

“Reservation for Todoroki,” Shoto stated to the security guard. The guard nodded, opening the door and letting the two of you inside of the massive, and empty museum. 

“Dean’s son huh?” You looked up at him, swinging your laced hands in between you. 

“Its got its perks,” He chuckled. “Like renting out the art museum for just the two of us.” 

You blushed and you walked around the corner to see a series of paintings. The two of you walked and talked and gushed over the art for what felt like hours. 

You came to a stop in front of a painting. The image portrayed a gorgeous Japanese woman in a traditional kimono. You bent down to look at the title of the painting. Courtesan: after Eisen, Vincent van Gogh. You hummed and stood back up. 

“She’s beautiful.” 

“Yeah, she is.” 

You turned to see Shoto looking at you, tenderness and endearment in his eyes. You blushed deeply. 

“I thought I told you to quit it with the cheesy-ness.” 

Shoto cupped your face, leaning in, his lips brushing against yours as he whispered, “Sorry.” 

You drapped your arms over his shoulders, closing the gap and kissing him deeply. He set his hands on your hips, his lips moving with a loving softness that made you melt. He pulled you closer the kiss gaining momentum and getting rougher. He pulled away, slowly, teasing you by biting on your bottom lip. The two of your stared at each other, pink cheeks and eyes filled with lust. Shoto quickly grabbed your hand and began walking. 

“This way.” 

You followed behind him like a love struck puppy. You found yourself int he photography section of the museum. The space was illuminated by a red light, the photographs lining the walls. There were several benches in the middle of the space. 

You looked up at Shoto, the red light highlighting how hungrily he looked down at you. He sat down on one of the benches, you following his lead. 

Before you could say a word, his lips latched onto your neck, soft whimpers of shock leaving your mouth. You felt his lips curl into a smirk against your skin. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging gently when he bit down on your collar bone. 

“S-Shoto,” You huffed. You could sense yourself getting extremely wet, and the sudden idea of jumping him right in the museum wouldn’t leave your mind. He seemed to get the message, placing his on your inner thigh. He snaked his hand further up, his eyes widening feeling your soaked panties. 

“I-I,” You stammered, afraid of what he would say. He said nothing actually and instead dropped to his knees in front of you. You blushed profusely, as he took the zipper of your skirt in his fingertips. 

“Is this okay?” He looked up at you, waiting for your consent. 

Is this okay? Oh god yes. 

You nodded, too excited to see what he would do next to let the words come out of your mouth. 

He proceeded to unzip your skirt, your thighs exposing themselves to him. 

“You know,” He says softly, his nimble fingers, gently removing your soaked panties. “I’ve been wanting to do this since I saw you in philosophy freshman year.” 

Before you could reply to his confession, he burred his head between your thighs, darting his tongue inside of your heat. You gasped, your spine shuddering at the sudden penetration. You gripped the bench tightly, Shoto humming happily against you. His tongue swirled inside you, his nose tickling your clit that was so needy for more. You reached your hand down, and proceeded to rub your sore clit. You whimpered and bucked your hips, Shoto pulling away. His eyes widened at the sight, causing the erection in his trousers to cause further friction against the fabric. He stood up, and unzipped his pants, pushed down his boxers, allowing his strong erection to stand at attention. You eyed his length hungrily. Not only was he big, but he was long. 

You opened your mouth, a fake innocence glazing your eyes. Shoto blushed as you took his cock in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you began to suck. 

“F-fuck,” He groaned, griping your hair. He tenderly ran his fingers through your locks, brushing the baby hairs that were pressed against your forehead with sweat out of the way. And all this time you were still touching yourself. 

“God, you look so pretty when you touch yourself y/n,” Shoto spoke softly, his mind beginning to blank from how good you were sucking him. You shuddered and whimpered, your fingers quickening their pace. You were reaching your climax and Shota had noticed. 

“No,” He said sternly, gripping your wrist and pulling your hand away from your aching heat. 

Your face was filled with defeat and embarrassment. 

“S-Shota please, I just want to cum,” you whimpered.

“You’ll cum y/n, but when I say so.” 

He sat down on the bench, gripping your hips and turning you so you would face him. The lust in Shoto’s eyes seemed to have crept to the rest of his features. He held his length in front of your core, it was dripping in your saliva. He picked you up and placed you above his lap, your entrence hovering over his cock. Part of you was afraid you wouldn’t be able to take all of him. The other part of you really wanted to try. 

“Ride me,” he commanded. You nodded without hesitation and kined yourself up with his lenght, slowly lowering yourself unto him. You shut your eyes tight as he entered your tight hole. 

“Shit,” you whimpered, but you were on a mission to fit all of him inside you. Shoto groaned, his cock twitching inside your tight walls. Once you managed to take in his whole shaft, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re fucking huge,” You exhaled. You places your hands on his chest and kissed him hungrily, but not making any attempt to bounce or grind against him. You were cockwarming him, and Shoto adored you for it. But not for long. 

“Fuck it y/n, I wan’t you to ride me already.” You giggled at his needy request and began to bounce yourself on him. Moans passed your lips effortlessly. Shoto was in a position that directly targeted your g-spot, and with every thrust upwards from his hips, you felt like you were on cloud-9. 

Shoto watched you, completely enamored. You somehow managed to make riding him look so elegant. You glowed under the red lighting, and he was dying to see how your face would look under it during your orgasm. In one swift movement, he laid you on his back, your legs laying against his chest. You gasped in surprise. Shoto had gotten impatient and was dying to please you. 

He gripped your legs firmly and began began thrusting-no-pounding into you. He huffed with every forceful thrust, grunting at the tightness of your walls. Your moans and wails were music to his ears. Your knuckles were white from gripping onto the bench. 

“I-I’m close Shoto,” you moaned, the words shaking as they came out. 

Shoto nodded and proceeded to roll his hips, hitting further inside of you. You groaned, your eyes rolling back, and seeing your face like that caused him to moan too. You arched your back, reaching your climax and Shoto continued to pound his entire length inside of you. You cried out in pleasure and cummed heavily all over his length. Shoto’s suspisions were correct, you looked glorious during an orgasm. So glorious infact, the sight caused him to cum himself. He groaned in a raspy tone, hot ropes of cum filling you up. Shoto slowed down, allowing the both of you to ride out your highs. He pulled out, the mixture of your cum flowing onto your thigh and the bench. He swiftly grabbed your damp panties and slid them on you. 

“You’re just going to have to keep that inside of you until we get home,” He said with a smirk. You blushed and pecked his lips. He helped you up and off of the bench, and the two of you proceeded to get dressed. 

“Hey!” The two of you whipped your heads around to see the security guard. 

“Is this where the two of you have been hiding? Your session is up.” 

Shoto bowed infront of the guard. 

“I am so sorry sir, here,” he pulled out his wallet, and handed the guard what appeared to be two $100. “We didn’t mean to take so long. Thank you and have a good night.” 

You squeaked out a little thank you to the guard, before Shoto and you were running back to the parking lot, laughed and grinning at their adventure. Once again, Shoto opened the passenger door for you and proceeded to get in the driver’s seat. 

“Are you okay with staying at my apartment tonight?” 

You blushed and nodded. 

“A sleepover with the dean’s son? How could I say no.” 

He chuckled and drove away from the museum as you pulled out your phone. Three texts from Mina. 

mina: how’s it going?? ;)) 

mina: its getting late wya 

mina: oh my god are u dead 

You rolled your eyes and replied. 

you: i’m fine, staying at shoto’s house tonight <3 

Not even a second later, Mina answered. 

mina: OMG YOU SLY BITCH GET IT GIRL

You giggled and put your phone away. Shoto set his palm down in front of you. You took his hand and your fingers laced together. He smiled, focused on the road and rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.

[yeochikin]

late night snacks. | j. yunho

a/n: i needed to like.. write something due to having some type of writer’s block the past few days kjddkf but here’s the full fic, if you have seen the teaser ehe. this is lowkey sucky but at the same time i like it and that’s what matters pfft. hope you enjoyed reading this! ✨💖

"y/n."

a soft groan left your lips before you shifted on the bed, just to face the other side. the creasing of your brows slowly softened up once you started to fall back to sleep, muscles relaxing once again until...

"y/n."

cue another groan coming from you, your eyelids slowly fluttered open. due to the sleepiness still in them, you could only make out a shadowy figure in front of you, which caused you to sit up awake to scream in alarm until a large hand quickly covered your lips.

"calm down, calm down. it's just me, yunho!" said male reassured.

heart still thumping rapidly against your chest, you swear that you can almost feel it jump out of your chest. it took you a few more seconds to finally calm down while your roommate watched you with concerned eyes. 

"you scared me, yunho. what do you want?" you asked with a hand on your chest, patting it gently to calm your heart as you sat up while rubbing the sleepiness away from your eyes.

though relieved it wasn’t some random intruder about to kidnap you, you glowered down at the tall male who managed to look so tiny just kneeling down next to your bed. yunho, who could see the slight annoyance painted over your visage, quickly spoke up before you would snap at him for disturbing your sleep in the little hours of night.

“come with me, let’s go to the convenience store.” he declared.

“jeong yunho!”

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

you don't even know how it happened. one moment, you were in your bed, and now suddenly, you are dressed in your most comfortable hoodie and leggings, seated on the barstool of the convenience store overlooking the nearly empty street, the window in front of you acting as a barrier between the inside of the store and the outside.

“an ice cream sandwich of choice for our lady.”

the sudden image of the said frozen treat appeared in your line of vision made you look up at your roommate who was grinning down at you despite you glaring daggers at him from the rude awakening earlier. yet, you grumbled a low ‘thanks’ and took the ice cream sandwich as yunho took his seat next to you.

you won’t lie, it was difficult to stay mad at the male seated beside you. 

yunho had always been the cheerful one in your friendship and somehow would pack a lot of energy with him, frequently bouncing in place due to his excited nature. of course, it would be unrealistic to say that he's all smiles 24/7. it is a little harder to approach him whenever he is in a bad mood, and it was not because he looked scary. rather, his face would be devoid of any emotion, holding a poker face, and looking as if something was in his train of thoughts. sometimes yunho would even zone out whenever he's in the middle of a conversation with someone, especially with you. 

just as easy to tell he is in a bad mood, yunho is never good at lying. whenever he is feeling guilty of something, his eyes would be looking everywhere, and even if he did look straight at you, the way his eyes would twitch and occasionally widen ever so slightly would give it all away. just like how you had caught him trying to hide the fact that he spilled your paint water all over the floor. the poor potted plant was somehow labelled as the guilty one for ‘pushing the paint water due to its huge ass leaves.’ yunho’s words, not yours.

at the memory, you couldn't help but to let out a chortle underneath your breath, immediately catching yunho’s attention as he curiously looked over at you. you merely waved a hand in a dismissive manner upon catching the inquisitive look on his face yet, the male merely urged you to tell him. 

“i was just trying to remember how i got the nickname ‘pup’ for you.” you merely stated, taking a small bite out of the ice cream sandwich and hummed approvingly at the sweet taste washing over your tastebuds.

“easy, you called me that as soon as you saw how i reminded you of a golden retriever during the first day of meeting.” the male grinned, nudging his upper arm against your shoulder. 

upon hearing those words, you couldn’t help but to smile at the memory. 

your eyes read over the address in the text you received, double checking to make sure you were in the right place and not some random stranger’s house. though, fingers crossed this house is the last one you needed to visit. you had been driving from place to place according to the flyers looking for a vacant place to stay since your time in the dorm is almost up so you needed to move out, and you needed a place to stay in, fast. but of course, the places you’ve been to were either near a shady place, or the vacant spot has already been filled. it is safe to say that you are almost on the verge of giving up.

with a deep breath heaving out of your lips, you lifted a hand up to ring the doorbell, patiently waiting for someone to open the door as soon as you heard the slight thumping of footsteps scrambling around from the inside. taking your time, you glanced around the place.

the place wasn’t that big but it sure looked like it could fit both you and your potential roommate. it was a huge bonus point that the place is located near your university as well, you probably won’t even need to drive considering how it’s just ten minutes away or so. you could deal with that. plus, the place is much more welcoming than the couple of places you’ve been to. it was when the sound of the door unlocking along with it being swung open managed to catch your attention and pry you away from your thoughts, wanting to greet the person. 

your words somehow died in your throat once your irises were met with a beautiful shade of dark brown. yet you only noticed them later on since your eyes were instantly caught on the peachy toned strands of hair, albeit a little messily. in front of you, stood a boy, a very tall boy, dressed in a simple brown sweatshirt with black sweatpants. 

“um.. can i help you?” he spoke, his voice rather deep yet it held some type of gentleness in them. 

you mentally cursed yourself from staring at him before clearing your throat to speak, holding up your phone to show the text you had received earlier. 

“i was the one who texted you about um.. the roommate thing?” you said, unintentionally making your sentence sound like a question instead of an answer, while the taller male looked at the text. 

as if realising what you meant, his features brightened up with how his lips curled themselves into a huge dream, his cheekbones rising due to the bright smile he held. if you were being honest here, he looked like an excited puppy. at first, you felt nervous as you never had a male roommate before but the grin on his features managed to make you feel less nervous as you immediately sensed his friendly aura surrounding him.

“oh, yes, yes! you must be y/n l/n, i’m yunho, jeong yunho!” he introduced, immediately ushering you into his place. 

once in, your curious eyes wandered yet again while yunho showed you around his place, a mini house tour if you will. the interior design of his apartment was simple yet somehow it added a bit of his… personality? pictures hung on the walls of the doorway of what you assumed to be his family and friends, most of the pictures you see are of the same eight people in them, yunho included. you also noticed the few little details around his place, especially the little dog shaped clock hanging on the wall of his living room.

“and this room can be yours! i used to have a roommate living with me but he had to move out of town.” he said, opening the door of the said room. 

you peered in and went inside once yunho stepped aside so you could have a better look. true to his word, the room was rather empty. the only things present in the room were a single bed just near the window, a closet, and of course, a dresser with a decently sized mirror. you noted the slight dust blanketing the closet and dresser, a clear indication that the room hasn’t been used in quite a while now. but you didn’t care, nothing a few hours of cleaning the room up couldn’t do. 

while you were looking around, yunho on the other hand fidgeted quietly in his place, long digits playing against the sleeves of his sweatshirt. it has been quite a while since he had a roommate, the months of living without a roommate made the extroverted male a tad lonely and more often than not, bored, of not having anyone to hang out with whenever he is required to stay in the house. so many thoughts ran through his mind, already creating some type of reassurance that it will be okay with whatever choice you choose later on. besides, it’s not like it will be the end of the world if you didn’t choose to be his roo-

“so when can i move in?” 

what?

yunho’s eyes widened, surprised at the sudden statement you had said, blinking a few times as if he had heard wrong. seeing his surprised expression, you couldn’t help but to think whether you were being too bold for immediately making up your mind. reaching a hand up, you rubbed the back of your nape.

“i.. i guess it’s too soon, huh?” 

snapping back into reality, the peachy haired boy immediately shook his head and waved his hands frantically in the air to reassure you that it wasn’t the case at all. despite being surprised, he couldn’t hide the jovial look painted over his visage, slightly bouncing in place as he could feel the excitement and happiness in him just overflowing his entire being.

“no! you can move in as soon as you are ready, you can even move in right now!” yunho grinned, eyes twinkling.

his actions only made you realise a low chortle. the male might look intimidating at a glance due to his height but to you? you have made the conclusion that he looked like a golden retriever who still thinks he is a puppy. and that was enough to make you coo internally at him, finding it endearing.

“calm down, pup! i still haven’t got most of my things.” you chuckled but it died off as soon as yunho casted a confused look towards you.

thinking you must have said the wrong thing once again, you tilted your head. “what?”

“you called me ‘pup’.” he said, blinking a few times with wide eyes. 

groaning at yourself internally, you could feel heat rushing through your cheeks from the unintentional slip up, mumbling a string of apologies. you expected yunho to grow awkward upon hearing the nickname, thinking it might have weirded him out now. the last thing you want right now is a tense atmosphere with your own (potential) roommate. 

instead, you were met with yunho’s smile yet again as soon as you looked up, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. 

“hey, calm down. i have been told that i resemble a puppy often, so it’s fine! i like it anyway.” he winked and laughed, an attempt to lighten the mood around the two of you.

and from there, the two of you started to bond. thanks to yunho, you were able to move most of your things inside the vacant room, now slowly being filled with your own things and added a lil bit of your personal touch by painting on the wall with your own creativity. whenever you started to paint and decorate your room, yunho would always linger around your doorway or even in your room, offering all the help he could.

sometimes, you would even let the male paint whatever he wanted on your walls. it took you a while to reassure him, though. poor guy was worried he might ruin all the pretty doodles you had painted on your wall. but of course, you didn’t care. when you mentioned how his own doodles would make it special, you could see how his irises brightened though still unsure. with much contemplation, the peach haired boy agreed. before you know it, your walls were filled with little doodles of dogs, courtesy of yunho, along with your favourite flowers. 

from then on, the two of you instantly formed a tight bond. you would also always spend every sunday doodling on empty pages of your sketchbooks, teaching yunho how to paint, yunho teaching you how to dance (since you saw him practice a piece one time when you got home from class), or going to a random store to buy a few things to decorate your rooms.

“sunflower?” yunho nudged you, causing you to blink repeatedly from your little trip to memory lane. 

just like how you would call him ‘pup’, yunho had decided to name you in different types of flowers, though more often than not, he had been calling you sunflower instead of random ones. you switched your gaze from the empty street to the puppy-like eyes of the male next to you, smiling at him as a silent way of telling him he had your attention.

“tomorrow’s sunday, well, technically today is sunday. you know that, right?” he smiled down, crumbling up the plastic wrapper of his own treat he had earlier. 

“of course! what’s up?” you replied, leaning your cheek on the palm of your hand as you stared up at your roommate.

“i was thinking, you wanna finally get started to find more art supplies? i’ve noticed that you’ve run out of pain and i could really use the time to take my mind off of dance classes for now.” he offered, mirroring your own actions.

you couldn’t help but to giggle at the sight of his cheek all squished against his hand, reaching your own hand to poke his cheekbone with a faint nod of your head. 

“sounds good to me. though, let’s go home and sleep first, mm? unless you want us looking like zombies in the streets, pup.” you joked, standing up from your seat to throw away the crumpled wrapper of your ice cream sandwich, yunho following suit.

“sleep sounds good. let’s go home, sunflower.” 

and with that, the two of you walked out of the convenience store side by side, talking about some of the events that the both of you failed to mention during the past week.