rejectedbad

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Royalty Snakes

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

INT. WHITE FAMILY LIVING ROOM - DAY

The scene opens with WALTER WHITE, known clavicle cannibal, sitting at the table and reading an article about crowbars on his laptop. JESSE PINKMAN is sprawled on the couch next to several eaten bananas, playing an old video game. HANK SCHRADER, a DA agent gone rogue bursts in, carrying a stack of mail.

HANK: (staring at the pile) Got a whole lot of nothin' again. Bill, bill, and… what the hell? Zootopia is getting a sequel?

WALTER: (looks up, amused) Yeah, it’s about a snake with bad dental care.

JESSE: (snorts) A snake? Seriously? What’s the tagline? “Brush your fangs or else?”

HANK: (arms crossed, shuddering) I hate snakes. They give me nightmares. And I can’t believe they rejected my submission! “Pink Unicorn OC: Law Enforcer of the Zootopia Realm,” would’ve been a classic!

WALTER: (chuckling) Sounds like they’re trying to keep it grounded in reality. Talking anthro unicorns, indeed.

JESSE: (smirking) Yeah, dude. But what’s more grounded than a pink unicorn working with the cops? Was this inspired from your cryptid division?

HANK: (defensively) Hey! It could’ve worked! Imagine that unicorn solving crimes! All the kids would love it! We've caught plenty of meth groupies with that technique.

WALTER: (supportively) I wouldn’t mind a unicorn in Zootopia. But they went with a snake, Hank. You are correct, a damned snake!

Walter leans back, then his eyes narrow as he recalls something.

WALTER (CONT'D): You remember when we were referenced in the first movie? The RV?

JESSE: (nods) That was sick! I felt like a celebrity.

HANK: (agitated) Right! But you know what really pisses me off? We still haven't seen a single royalty check from that! We should’ve been rolling in Disney dough!

WALTER: (smirking) Maybe they didn’t think a drug lord and a meth cook would be great family entertainment, and just want to stick with calling minorities 'predators'.

JESSE: (grinning) Come on, man, we could’ve done a whole Zootopia spinoff! “Breaking Bad: Furry Edition.”

HANK: (rolling his eyes) And what would that even look like? A cartoon Walter bursting into a clinic saying, “Say my name, bunny!”

They all burst into laughter, imagining the absurdity.

WALTER: (almost wistfully) “Say my name.” A bunny wouldn’t be quite as intimidating as a snake, though.

JESSE: (pulling himself together) Dude, if they’re doing a snake, we should pitch something! There’s gotta be a way to get our piece of this!

HANK: (fuming again) Yeah, can you imagine a scene where my unicorn is fighting that dental disaster?

WALTER: (mischievously) Imagine the dental plan that snake gets. I can see it now: “Get five cleanings and a free scale shedding spa.”

The trio bursts into more laughter, Hank gets up and starts pacing.

HANK: Listen, I’m not going to let some cartoon snake slither all over me while I sit here empty-handed.

WALTER: (smirking) What are you planning? An aggressive email campaign?

HANK: (pointing at Walter) God damned right, I am! I’m gonna give my complaint the voice it deserves! Who do they think they are, rejecting my pink unicorn?

Jesse nods in agreement, pretending to take notes.

JESSE: “Step one: Ride the unicorn.”

Hank stops, smirks, and shakes his head.

HANK: (reassured) Alright, but above all, no snakes. They’re creepy.

They all share one last laugh, the mood lightening. Hank gestures grandly, as if giving a toast.

HANK: To unicorns and RV references, who may never get the recognition we deserve!

The scene fades out with them all raising imaginary glasses in camaraderie.

FADE OUT.

END SCENE.

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Australian Tyranny

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

The RV parked in a remote desert location. Walter White (in his signature hat) stands over a makeshift lab table. Jesse Pinkman leans against the counter, fidgeting impatiently with a hole in his magenta beanie.

WALTER (firm, lecturing tone): Jessie, you’re not seeing the bigger picture. Australia’s new social media laws, they’re not about stopping kids from seeing things they shouldn’t. They’re about control.

JESSE (scratching his head): Yeah, okay, Mr. White, but like, how’s that mess with our blog, yo? The bad blog that got rejected, man.

WALTER (leans in, intense): Because once they lock down verification, once they track every login, every click, our irregular updates? Dead. Buried. You think they’ll let us just… slip something new past them?

[Jesse frowns, processing.]

JESSE: Whoa… so even if we wanted to, like, hypothetically drop some new truth bombs...

WALTER (smirking): We’d be digital ghosts. Shadows on a wall. Or worse, flagged. Tracked. Seen.

[Beat. Walter extends his hand. Jesse hesitates, then grips it solidly.]

BOTH (in eerie unison, turning to camera): Is it time?

[Hold. The camera lingers on their deadly serious faces as the RV door swings slightly in the wind. Fade to black.]

END SCENE.

Distant sirens play over otherwise silent credits

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Strax

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

INT. WALTER WHITE'S HOUSE - DAY

The tension in the room is intense. WALTER WHITE, the drug lord cannibal, is pacing back and forth, his face contorted in anger. JESSE PINKMAN, wearing a magenta beanie, is slouched on the couch, casually scrolling through his phone. Doctor Who, Deep Breath, is playing on TV.

WALTER:  I can’t believe this! Strax thinks he can just waltz around in Doctor Who and start stealing my ideas? Melting people in acid? That’s my thing!

JESSE looks up, bewildered.

JESSE:  Mr. White, it’s just a show. People get melted all the time in TV. It’s not like you invented acid!

WALTER stops mid-pace, glaring at JESSE.

WALTER:  It’s not about the acid, Jesse! It’s the principle! I’ve built a reputation on being the guy who deals with the consequences of chemical reactions. And here comes this... this Sontaran, wanting to imitate me!

WALTER’s voice gets increasingly heated, and he grabs his trusty crowbar leaning against the wall.

JESSE:  Whoa, whoa! What are you gonna do with that? You seriously trying to silence the BBC with a crowbar

WALTER stares at the crowbar, breathing heavily.

WALTER:  Maybe it’s time to remind the English who I am. No one understands the seriousness of what I do. They just think it’s all fun and games.

JESSE stands up, hands out in a placating gesture.

JESSE:  Okay, Mr. White. Just chill for a sec. You really think Strax is actually coming after your ideas? He’s a fictional character! You’re the real deal here!

WALTER slams the crowbar down on the nearest table, making JESSE jump and his magenta beanie nearly leap off his head.

WALTER:  I’ve spent years building an empire, Jesse! An empire that’s rooted in chemistry, not some ridiculous TV drama!

JESSE exhales slowly, eyebrows raised, trying to maintain a sense of calm.

JESSE:  Yeah, but that’s just it. You’re the scientist, man. Strax is just a goofy bald guy on the telly. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. You know, like that thing we talked about last night?

WALTER hesitates, his anger bubbling beneath the surface. He looks at JESSE with frustration.

WALTER:  You don’t get it. This isn’t just about Strax. This isn't about the clavicle BBQ.  It’s a matter of respect! People need to know that I am the real deal, not some animated joke!

WALTER tosses the crowbar aside, realizing the absurdity of his anger.  It makes a nice ‘ploink!’ sound.

JESSE:  There you go. That’s better. Just like in the lab, man! We control our reactions. You just gotta focus on what really matters.

WALTER exhales, the manic energy slowly dissipating. He sinks into a chair, rubbing his temples.

WALTER:  You’re right. I need to channel my energy into something productive. Not waste it on... Strax.

JESSE takes a seat next to WALTER, smirking.

JESSE:  Yeah! And if Strax ever tried to come for you, you could just show him who’s the real mastermind in this universe.

WALTER finally cracks a small smile, looking somewhat amused.

WALTER:  Yes.  And we will melt him with acid... JESSE gets back up and slowly backs out of the room.

FADE OUT.

END.

editor: for non whovians, this:

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Nuggets

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

INT. JESSE'S APARTMENT - DAY

Jesse Pinkman, looking curious, is pacing around the room. His Samoyed, METH HEAD, is lounging on the couch. Jesse is fiddling with his phone, reading about the new AI drive-thru at Taco Bell.

JESSE:  Yo, check this out, Meth Head. Taco Bell's got some new AI drive-thru thing going on. They’re saying it’s like, some kind of crazy advanced tech. You think it’s like a dude trapped in a box or something? I gotta see this.

Meth Head gives a little whine and a wag of the tail. Jesse grabs his jacket.

JESSE:  Alright, let’s go. I gotta see this with my own eyes.

EXT. TACO BELL - PARKING LOT - DAY

Jesse pulls up to the Taco Bell drive-thru, where a sleek, high-tech machine stands ready. He rolls down his window and starts to speak into the AI drive-thru.

JESSE:  Hey, yo, what’s up? I wanna check out this new AI thing. How does it work?

AI VOICE:  Hello! Welcome to Taco Bell. How may I assist you today?

JESSE:  Whoa, it’s like talking to a robot. Alright, give me—

Meth Head, sitting in the passenger seat, starts to whimper and whine, looking intensely at the AI drive-thru speaker. Jesse looks over, confused.

JESSE:  (laughing)  What’s wrong, buddy? You hungry or something?

Meth Head suddenly starts to telepathically communicate, his thoughts somehow getting through to the AI system. The AI starts processing the order. METH HEAD:  NUGGETS!  4 Dozen with the deliciousness of Canada!

AI VOICE:  Order received: 48 maple syrup nuggets. Is that correct?

JESSE:  Aw, man! Did I just order 48 maple syrup nuggets? What the hell?

AI VOICE:  Confirming: 48 maple syrup nuggets. Total cost: $42.00. Please proceed to the window.

Jesse stares at Meth Head in disbelief. Meth Head looks back innocently, as if he did nothing wrong.

METH HEAD:  (thinking) Yes!  Soon they will be mine!

JESSE:  Aw, jeez. Alright, fine. Let’s get these nuggets. But you owe me for this one, buddy.

They pull up to the window. The Taco Bell employee looks confused as they hand over the order.

TACO BELL EMPLOYEE:  Uh, 48 maple syrup nuggets, huh? That’s a lot of nuggets. Are you sure?

JESSE:  Yeah, it’s, uh, a... special occasion.

The employee shrugs and hands over the massive bag of nuggets. Jesse drives off, shaking his head.

JESSE:  I can’t believe this. You’re gonna have to help me eat all these, you know that, right?

Meth Head just wags his tail happily.

JESSE:  Guess we’re gonna be here a while. 

The scene ends with Jesse and Meth Head driving away, the bag of nuggets taking up the entire back seat. Jesse sighs as he looks at the endless supply of syrup nuggets.

FADE OUT.

END OF EPISODE.

(I read an article recently about Taco Bell and AI drivethrus, so decided to make a little short)

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: The end, questionmark?

The following is about a blog about rejected scripts from an early season of Breaking Bad.

Hi everyone, Ois here, lead writer of this blog. Rejected Bad was only ever meant to run for a few days, as a joke to some friends. But days turned into weeks. And weeks turned into months. And now, ONE YEAR has passed! Thankyou, leapday!

One year of madness of two guys from albuquerque and weirdness they did not encounter in the actual show.

One year of crowbars, of onions, bananas, and marmalade. One year of eating clavicles, of string cheese addiction, of a samoyed planning to invade Canada, and of Australian English spelling and references.

I want to thank each of you that enjoyed these, they've been fun to make, but I need a break. My own physical health has been failing, and I'm running out of ideas on what to put up here.

So. Gone, but not completely. Updates from here on will be sporadic, and no longer daily. But Walter and Jesse may turn up in your timeline at any point, so do stick around. -Cheers -Ois

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Interrogation

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

INT. JESSE’s APARTMENT - DAY

Gus is standing in front of Jesse, his eyes filled with anger and suspicion. Jesse is beaten and bruised, tied to a chair.

GUS: (menacingly) Where is he, Jesse? Where is Lil Victor?!

JESSE: (panicking) I swear, man, I didn't let him out! I would never do that to you, Gus!

GUS: (sceptical) Don't lie to me, Jesse. I know you have a history of screwing things up. Tell me where he is before I make you regret it.

JESSE: (desperate) I swear, I don't know where he is! Please, Gus, just let me go!

Gus grabs Jesse by the collar and leans in closer, his face inches away from Jesse's.

GUS: (coldly) You better start talking, Jesse. Or else…

Suddenly, a loud commotion is heard from outside. Gus and Jesse turn to see Meth Head, the samoyed, Fillmeup the coyote, and Lil Victor, the chicken, wreaking havoc in Jesse's backyard. They are wearing makeshift disguises and seem to be planning something.

GUS: (shocked) What the hell is going on out there?!

JESSE: (guiltily) Oh, crap. That's Meth Head, Fillmeup, and Lil Victor. They must have escaped!

GUS: (confused) Escaped? What do you mean, Jesse?

JESSE: (sheepishly) Uh, well, they're planning to invade Canada to steal maple syrup. I may have mentioned my love for pancakes once or twice…

Gus stares at Jesse in disbelief, then turns to the chaos outside.

GUS: (sighing) I can't believe this. You really have a way of attracting trouble, Jesse.

JESSE: (sheepishly) Yeah, sorry about that, Gus.

Gus unties Jesse and heads for the door, mumbling to himself.

FADE OUT

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Eraserhead

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[INT. METH LAB - DAY]

(We see WALTER WHITE and JESSE PINKMAN working in the lab, concentrating on their latest batch of meth. Suddenly, there is a loud explosion, causing smoke and debris to fill the room.)

WALTER: (coughing) Jesse, are you okay?

JESSE: (shaking his head) Yeah, I think so. What the hell just happened?

(WALTER looks around the room, noticing that the explosion has affected them both in strange ways. JESSE's vision is now in black and white, and WALTER has a wild set of hair made of foam and smoke.)

WALTER: What the… Jesse, can you see at all?

JESSE: (frantically rubbing his eyes) No, man. Everything's black and white. This is tripping me out.

WALTER: (confused) And what the hell is going on with my hair?

(JESSE suddenly starts to hallucinate, seeing WALTER as Jack Nance from Eraserhead.)

JESSE: (pointing at WALTER) Oh my god, it's him! It's Jack Nance! What is he doing here?

WALTER: (trying to calm JESSE down) Jesse, it's me. It's Walter. I'm not Jack Nance. You're just hallucinating.

JESSE: (frantically shaking his head) No, no, no! I can't deal with this. I need to get out of here.

(WALTER tries to grab JESSE, but JESSE stumbles and falls to the ground)

WALTER: (frustrated) Dammit, Jesse. Snap out of it!

(JESSE eventually comes to his senses, realising that it was just a hallucination. WALTER helps him up and they both try to assess the damage caused by the explosion.)

WALTER: We need to figure out what went wrong with this batch. But first, let's get you some colour back and fix my hair.

JESSE: (nodding) Yeah, sounds good. But seriously, Walter, you really did look like Jack Nance for a moment there.

(WALTER chuckles and the two of them start to clean up the lab, determined to fix their mistakes and get back to business.)

FADE OUT.

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Tetris Effect

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[Scene opens at Jesse's makeshift meth lab, where he is struggling to stack boxes of meth for delivery]

Jesse: Damn it, Mr. White! I can't get these boxes to stack right!

Walter: [looking over] You're overthinking it, Jesse. You just gotta find the right pattern.

Jesse: Pattern? What are you talking about?

Walter: Ever heard of the Tetris effect?

Jesse: The what?

Walter: The Tetris effect. It's when you've been playing Tetris for so long that you start seeing patterns in real life. Like stacking things in a certain way, just like you're doing now.

Jesse: Are you serious, Mr. White?

Walter: Trust me, it works. Just focus on the shapes and patterns.

[Jesse tries to focus on the boxes, but is still struggling]

Jesse: I don't know, man. I'm just afraid a magenta L shape is gonna appear out of nowhere and mess everything up.

Walter: [chuckles] You've been watching too much TV, Jesse. Just keep stacking and you'll get the hang of it.

[Jesse takes a deep breath and starts stacking the boxes with more confidence, following a pattern he sees in his mind]

Jesse: Hey, this actually works!

Walter: See? I told you. The Tetris effect.

[Jesse continues stacking the boxes successfully, feeling more confident with each one he places]

Jesse: Thanks, Mr. White. I never thought playing video games would help me in real life.

Walter: It's all about seeing things from a different perspective, Jesse. Now let's get these boxes ready for delivery.

[Scene fades out as Jesse and Walter continue working on the meth delivery]

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Zed

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

FADE IN:

INT. RV - DAY

WALTER stands in front of the chalkboard, holding a piece of chalk. JESSE and HANK sit in front of him, looking confused.

WALTER: Okay boys, today we're going to discuss a very important topic. The pronunciation of the letter "Zed" versus "Zee".

Walter writes "Zed" on the chalkboard.

HANK: (excitedly) Oh, I know this one! "Zed" is the correct way to pronounce it.

WALTER: (smiling) That's correct, Hank. And for that, you get a cookie.

Walter tosses a cookie over to Hank, who catches it and grins.

JESSE: (jokingly) Aw man, where's my cookie?

MIKE steps forward, holding a crowbar.

MIKE: Jesse, you know the rules. No joking around during lessons.

Mike raises the crowbar threateningly.

JESSE: (quickly) Okay, okay, got it.

WALTER: (clearing his throat) Now, let's discuss why "Zed" is the superior pronunciation. It stems from the Greek letter "Zeta", which is where the English letter "Z" originated from. It's the correct way to pronounce it in many English-speaking countries.

HANK: (nodding) Makes sense. "Zed" just sounds more proper and refined.

WALTER: Exactly. And not to mention, "Zed" rhymes with words like "bed" and "red", making it easier to remember.

JESSE: (mumbling) Yeah, but "Zee" rhymes with "tree" and "bee". What's wrong with that?

MIKE raises the crowbar again, ready to strike.

JESSE: (quickly) Okay, okay, got it. "Zed" all the way, man.

WALTER: (smirking) That's the spirit, Jesse. Looks like Hank is getting all the cookies today.

HANK: (grinning) I'll take 'em all.

Walter chuckles as he continues to explain the importance of pronouncing "Zed" correctly.

FADE OUT.

END.

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Fear

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[Scene: Gus's office. Gus is sitting at his desk, visibly shaken and sweaty. Credits to John Carpenter’s “The Thing” roll on a nearby screen.  Gus takes a deep breath and picks up the phone.]

Gus: Walter, I need you to handle production today. I won't be in.

Walter: Gus, what's going on? Are you okay?

Gus: I've encountered... something. Something I never thought I would face. I need some time to process it.

Walter: Gus, you can't just leave me to run things on my own.

Gus: I have faith in you, Walter. You are more than capable. And besides, I will be back tomorrow.

Walter: Fine. But just remember, I can handle production, but I can't handle the DEA or any other unforeseen complications.

Gus: I trust you, Walter.

[Scene: Gus's house. Gus is sitting in his backyard, holding Lil Victor, his pet chicken. He gazes at the chicken lovingly, finding comfort in its presence. Suddenly, his phone rings. It's a call from Mike.]

Mike: Gus, we have a problem. The boys are struggling with production without you here.

Gus: Tell them to keep calm and carry on. I will be back tomorrow.

Mike: Gus, this is serious. We need you back.

Gus: I need this time to clear my head, Mike. You and the boys can handle it.

Mike: Fine. But just don't take too long. We need you.

Gus: I will be back before you know it. Trust in Walter.

[Scene: Walter at the lab, putting on his hazmat suit and preparing to handle production on his own. He looks determined and focused, ready to prove himself to Gus.]

Walter: Let's do this.

[Cut to black.]

[End scene.]

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Exploring the Wild Side of Minnesota

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[Open with Jesse sitting at a table in his living room, laptop open in front of him. He is reading an article on the Rejected Bad blog titled "Exploring the Wild Side of Minnesota". He looks up with a big grin on his face.]

Jesse: Yo, check it out! The Rejected Bad blog just wrote about Minnesota, man!

[He turns to look at his pet samoyed, Meth Head, who is lying on the couch next to him.]

Jesse: This is awesome, Meth Head! We've covered every state in the USA now!

[Meth Head looks up at Jesse with a curious expression, his big fluffy ears perked up.]

Meth Head [telepathically]: Jesse, do you think we should also cover the Self Governing US territories?

[Jesse's eyes widen in surprise at Meth Head's telepathic question.]

Jesse: Whoa, Meth Head! I never thought about that! That's a great idea!

[Jesse excitedly starts typing on his laptop, researching the different Self Governing US territories.]

Jesse: We could cover Puerto Rico, Guam, American Samoa, the US Virgin Islands...this is gonna be epic, Meth Head!

[Meth Head wags his tail happily, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with the idea.]

Meth Head [telepathically]: I can't wait to explore more places with you, Jesse. Let's show the world the true beauty of all Taco Bell shops in these territories!

[Jesse nods, determination in his eyes.]

Jesse: Let's do it, Meth Head. Let's show everyone that there's more to this country than just the mainland. We're gonna make history!

[Cue dramatic music as Jesse continues researching and planning their next adventure, with Meth Head by his side, excited for the new journey ahead.]

[FADE OUT]

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Lobster

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

The scene opens with Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger sitting on the couch in Jesse's living room. Jesse holds a bag of blue crystal meth, while Skinny Pete and Badger share a joint. They are in high spirits, laughing and joking around.

Jesse: (laughing) I'm telling you, man, Massachusetts is where it's at!

Skinny Pete: (chuckling) Yeah, man, they've got wicked good lobstah rolls!

Badger: (snickering) And don't forget about those clam chowdahs, bro!

Their laughter is interrupted as the door bursts open and Hank storms into the room, looking furious.

Hank: What the hell are you three idiots doing?!

Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger freeze, looking sheepish.

Jesse: Uh, hey Hank. We were just talking about Massachusetts, man.

Hank: Massachusetts? I thought you were talking about Michigan!

Skinny Pete: Nah, man, we're talking about the east coast, not the Midwest.

Hank nods, a faint smile crossing his face.

Hank: Well, carry on then. But I've got a Massachusetts joke for you guys.

Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger exchange amused glances, intrigued.

Hank: Why did the Massachusetts lobster blush?

Jesse: (confused) I don't know, why?

Hank: Because he saw the clam's "chowdah!"

Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger burst into laughter, Hank joining in before shaking his head and walking out of the room.

Jesse: (chuckling) Hank's got jokes, man.

Skinny Pete: (grinning) Yeah, that was pretty good.

Badger: (laughing) I'll never look at lobster the same way again!

FADE OUT

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Pedagogy

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

FADE IN:

INT. JESSE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Jesse is pacing back and forth, fuming.

JESSE:  Yo, Mr. White! You're never gonna believe this shit, man!

WALTER:  What's wrong, Jesse?

JESSE:  The local school is teaching these kids "pedagogy" or some shit like that! It's messed up, man!

MIKE:  Pedagogy? What exactly do you think that means, Jesse?

JESSE:  I don't know, man! But it sounds shady as hell!

WALTER:  Jesse, pedagogy is just a method of teaching. It's nothing illegal or immoral.

JESSE:  Oh. Well, shit. My bad, then.

MIKE:  Seriously, Jesse? You thought the school was doing something criminal?

JESSE:  Hey, you never know, man!

WALTER:  We've gotta be more careful than that, Jesse. We can't go jumping to conclusions like that.

MIKE:  Yeah, we can't go around beating people with crowbars just because we think they're up to something shady.

[beat]

JESSE:  Aw, hell, I didn't mean it like that, guys! I just got all worked up, is all.

WALTER:  Well, now that we've cleared that up, let's get back to business. We've got a lot of work to do.

MIKE:  And Jesse, next time you hear a word you don't understand, maybe look it up before you start freaking out.

JESSE:  Got it, guys. Sorry about that.

WALTER:  No harm, no foul, Jesse. Let's get to work.

FADE OUT.

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Soda

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[INT. SAUL GOODMAN'S OFFICE]

(Saul Goodman is pacing back and forth, looking furious)

SAUL: This is outrageous! I can't believe this Mississippi Soda Company is trying to rip off Walter's blue colour!

(Walter White and Gus Fring enter the office)

WALTER: What's going on, Saul?

SAUL: Walter, you won't believe this. The Mississippi Soda Company is coming out with a new brand of soda that has the same colour as your blue meth.

WALTER: (calmly) I see.

SAUL: I want to sue the pants off them! This is a clear case of trademark infringement!

GUS: (smirking) Actually, Saul, we licensed out the colour to them.

SAUL: What? Why would you do that?

GUS: It's simple business, Saul. They pay us a hefty licensing fee to use the colour for their soda. It's all legal and above board.

WALTER: (nodding) And it's all about making more money. We've moving on from the meth business, Saul. Time to embrace the legal side of things.

SAUL: (sighs) I guess you guys do know what you're doing. But I still don't like it.

GUS: (putting a hand on Saul's shoulder) Trust us, Saul. We have everything under control.

(Saul reluctantly nods as Gus and Walter leave the office. Saul sits down at his desk, still grumbling)

SAUL: (to himself) I guess it's time to find another way to make a buck.

FADE OUT.

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Sobriety

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[Scene: Saul Goodman is driving through the scenic mountains of Montana, with a look of anticipation on his face. He arrives at a cosy lodge where his bi-annual lawyering meetup is taking place. As Saul enters the lodge, he is greeted by three familiar faces – Jeff, Geoffry, and Yeffroy.]

Saul: Well, well, well, if it isn't the three stooges of law. How's it hanging, fellas?

Jeff: Hey Saul, good to see you. Always a pleasure to catch up with my favourite lawyer.

Geoffry: Hey Saul, how's business treating you these days?

Yeffroy: Saul, it's been too long. We missed having you here at our meetups.

Saul: Yeah, yeah, enough with the pleasantries. Let's get down to business. Who's ready to lawyer up and have a good time?

Jeff: Actually, Saul, we've made some changes since the last time you were here.

Saul: Changes? What kind of changes?

Geoffry: We've all decided to go sober and give up string cheese.

Saul: [disgusted] What? Sober? No string cheese? What kind of madness is this? You guys have gone soft on me.

Yeffroy: Saul, it's for the best. We were getting a little out of control with our drinking and snacking habits. We figured it was time to clean up our act.

Saul: Clean up our act? Are you kidding me? This is a lawyering meetup, not some sobriety retreat. I can't believe you guys would do this to me.

Jeff: Look, Saul, we still value your friendship and your expertise. We just thought it was time for a change.

Saul: Well, I don't like this change one bit. I came here to let loose, have a few drinks, and enjoy some damn string cheese. And now you're telling me I can't do that? No way. I'm outta here.

[Saul storms out of the lodge, getting into his car and driving away with fury in his eyes.]

[Scene: Saul is driving back home, fuming over what happened at the lawyering meetup. He can't believe that his friends would betray him like this.]

Saul: [talking to himself] Those guys have lost their damn minds. Going sober? Giving up string cheese? What kind of world are we living in?

[The camera pans out as Saul continues to drive, leaving the mountains of Montana behind him. The screen fades to black as the sound of Saul's car fades away.]

[End of scene.]

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Prohibition

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[INT. LOS POLLOS HERMANOS - DAY]

(The camera pans to Mike sitting at a table in a corner of Los Pollos Hermanos, his face tense as he listens to his old partner on the phone. The bustling sound of the restaurant fades away as he speaks in hushed tones.)

OLD PARTNER: (on the phone) Mike, you gotta listen to me. They're bringing back prohibition in Oklahoma. It's gonna be a nightmare for all of us bootleggers.

(Mike's jaw tightens as his partner continues to speak, his eyes glancing around the room anxiously.)

MIKE: (into the phone) How soon do we have?

OLD PARTNER: (on the phone) They're talking about enforcing it by the end of the month. We need to move fast if we're gonna have any chance of getting our product out there before they shut us down.

(Mike nods grimly, his mind whirling with possibilities. He knows he can't do this alone, and he quickly formulates a plan in his head.)

MIKE: (into the phone) I'll make some calls. We'll get this done.

OLD PARTNER: (on the phone) Thanks, Mike. I knew I could count on you. Let's show 'em what we're made of.

(Mike hangs up the phone and pulls out his burner phone, dialling a familiar number. The camera cuts to Walter White's phone ringing in his car as he drives home from a long day at the car wash.)

WALTER: (answering the phone) Mike, what's up?

MIKE: (on the phone) We've got a situation. My old partner just called from Oklahoma. They're bringing back prohibition, and we need to move fast if we're gonna get our product out there before they shut us down.

(Walter's eyes widen in surprise as he processes Mike's words. He knows the risks involved, but he also knows the potential rewards.)

WALTER: (nodding) I'm in. What do you need me to do?

(Mike smiles, relieved to have Walter's support.)

MIKE: (on the phone) I need you to cook up a batch of turbo whisky. We'll send it out to Oklahoma before the new laws are enforced. It's risky, but it's our only chance.

(Walter takes a deep breath, his mind already itching with the possibilities of what they could achieve together.)

WALTER: (smirking) Let's do it. I'll get started right away.

(Mike hangs up the phone, a sense of determination in his eyes. He knows the road ahead will be rough, but with Walter by his side, he believes they can overcome any obstacle.)

[FADE OUT]

[rejectedbad]

Rejected Bad: Not even a fly

The following is a rejected script from an early season of Breaking Bad.

[Scene opens in a deserted street. Jesse wakes up groggily, looking around confused. He sees no one in sight.]

Jesse: (muttering to himself) Where the hell is everyone? Did I miss the rapture or something?

[Jesse walks around, calling out for anyone, but there's no response.

[Suddenly, Walter steps out from behind a dumpster, looking stern and holding a crowbar in his hand.]

Walter: Jesse, what the hell are you doing? We have work to do.

Jesse: (surprised) Mr. White, where did you come from?

Walter: It doesn't matter. What matters is that we have a job to finish.

Jesse: (jokingly) This is just like Ohio. No humans, no horses, not even a damn fly.

[Walter slaps Jesse hard across the face, startling him.]

Walter: Get your head out of your ass, Jesse. We don't have time for your jokes.

Jesse: (rubbing his cheek) Alright, alright. What's the plan, Mr. White?

[Walter gestures towards a nearby building, indicating that they need to get back to work. Jesse nods, following him obediently.]

[Camera fades to black as they walk towards the building, a sense of eerie desolation hanging in the air.]