#WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. OH MY GOD!!
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Is it just me or does STYX and it's whole vibe and duty remind y'all a lot of the SCP foundation.
#also. while we're on the topic of book 6:#WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. OH MY GOD!!#also LILIAS OUT OF POCKET COMMENT WHEN WATCHING THE STARS WITH MAELLUS. WAS THIS NECESSARY?!#what the fuck were Idias parents thinking when leaving their chronically online son who has NO HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS in charge of#an underground foundation with very dangerous beings that could cause the end of the world.#ttcnt event review
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“close your eyes, evbo” or whatever she said
#my art#pvp civilization#tabi pvpciv#pvp civ tabi#pvp civilization tabi#pvp civ spoilers#pvp civilization spoilers#how are we feeling pvpheads.#you best believe that caption is a mouthwashing reference#anyways. i’m still reeling from this damn episode. i am going to go downright insane#it’s great that raymond’s still alright. it’s cool that we got a lore drop. yknow what isn’t cool? ALL OF THAT#WHAT THE FUCK DUDE…… OH MY GOD.#i’m going to have a headache. it’s so good though. god………. pvpciv save me
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forever mourning how granada holmes never adapted the three garridebs. diabolical. unbelievable, even. 'if you had killed watson you would not have made it out of this room alive' but in brett's frightfully intense and low, biting, hissing voice. the violent, wild stare versus the gentle hand on watson's knee. all of that precarious control getting flung out the window. the humanity of it. gritting my teeth can you fucking imagine.
#we were ROBBED#no cause why does no one adapt the three garidebbs. it has The Scene. LIKE COME ONNN#if i got to watch jeremy brett Lose His Fucking Mind over watson getting shot i wouldve also lost my entire shit#like oh my god#jeremy brett's holmes is soo intense he wouldve been PERFECT. i can just imagine the wild stare 2 inches from the camera#ohhh my god#no cause sometimes i think about how granada was going to do reigate squires and it genuinely brings my mood down#IT WOULDVE. AUUCKK#im so pissed yall#im rewatching granada and its all i can think ablut#WHAT IF THEY HAD JEREMY BRETT HOLMES LOSE HIS SHIT OVER WATSON GETTING SHOT. CAN YOU IMAGINEEE#THE INTENSITY + THE GENTLENESS#💥💥💥💥💥💥🔨🔨💥🔨💥🔨💥💥🪓💥🪓💥⚰️⚰️💥🪓💥🪓#this is making me want to pick up that watson whump fic i was writing as part of sillage again#i need holmes to go crazy go stupid#'if you had killed watson you would not have made it out of this room alive' CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINEEE BRETT SAYING THAT#SOMEBODY SEDAATEEE MEEEEEE#IM SO PISSED#not equipped for rambling#granada holmes#the three garridebs#sherlock holmes#john watson#acd holmes#acd watson#granada watson#jeremy brett#i need holmes to go crazy go stupid 😔😔😔😔
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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kevin getting angry at neil for not taking his health seriously and telling neil to run then promising to teach him every night and keeping neil's binder safe without looking what's in it and calling wymack to make sure neil is okay after winter break and offering to talk about riko if neil wanted to
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#kevin day#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#kevneil#we've talked about their relationship so much recently#but im in the middle of making anothre post#and i just remembered him calling wymack!!!!!! to check on neil!!!!!!!!!#and before that telling neil not to go bc he knows what riko will do to him#and 'jean will help you if you help him'#and oh my fucking god i am crying losing my mind dying#I LOVE HIM#I LOVE THEM
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Sometimes the doomed old man toxic yoai gets so bad you just have to start writing about fucking revenge guac to get over the pain.
#sonic movie 3#sonic 3#sonic the hedgehog#slight spoilers#stobotnik#I've never seen such fucking YEARN in a man before like PICK IT UP bro your obsession is so obvious#I've never felt so.. like this about an end of a relationship before i swear to god if Stone disappears after this I'll riot#I need him causing destruction in Robotniks name but before that I'm going to cope with him being a yearny little shit snd Shadow being edgy#Genuinely it's going to be 1K words of Shadow thinking 'Maria would've loved guacamole..' or something like that because i refuse to be sad#I'm not coping.. everyone lives nobody dies stobotnik ISN'T DEAD NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN#the sonic movie team is paying for all of my bills not just the therapy ones because FUCK THIS#i loved the movie though it's so good gaia please never stop the peak it's so peak holy shit#OH GOD I JUST REMEMBERED METAL SONIC WON'T HAVE HIS DAD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE#I'm NOT going to be okay coming into the third movie how could you have taken the father son bonding AWAY FROM ME
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2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered
Tommy's family arc
#911#911edit#911 abc#911 show#911 spoilers#911 season 7#tommy kinard#evan buckley#evan 'buck' buckley#kinley#bucktommy#kinkley#tevan#pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name#anyway analysis time!#looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud#babygirl was back there getting into narnia#he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins#even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something#but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think#and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself#because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you#then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is#and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough#or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him#rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless#my edits
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#tsom#whistlecone#the sound of music#captain von trapp#georg von trapp#maria von trapp#georg x maria#captain and the governess#pinecone/whistle#my art#please don't repost#chewing on them like squeaky toys#listen. i have a problem#and my problem is christopher plummer and julie andrews#spinning them like rotisserie chickens in my brain#i am going mental#what am i gonna do oh my god#they need to fucking stop#“you don't look like a captain” “you don't look like a nun” hmmmm okay can we calm down#what if i drew them kissing what then
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nobody fucking talk to me are you joking the forehead touch the crystal THEY ARE THE ANOMALY they revolve around each other “you show me the light in every universe” but why do you persist even after everything i’ve done? “now all i want is my partner back” are you fucking kidding me get out leave do NOT come back
“i’m always with you” the parallels of each universe, first powder alone and then ekko on that fucking balcony both alone, “can we do it like the first time”, powder cherishing vi’s memory in the alternate to vi cherishing jinx’s in the real one. jinx paralleling not only vi but paralleling isha. powder and jinx, jinx and powder, one and the same, end me
and the animation? a fucking SPECTACLE you cannot be serious right now half of that battle half of those effects those were 2 fucking d frame by frame i fucking saw that shit don’t play with me oh my god
don’t even get me started on sevika as a councillor because from somebody willing to fight to silco’s right hand man to a councillor because she is always there and willing and she deserves that spot more than ever, and the city of progress having her undercity ass on the council someone please take me out with a double barrel shotgun right the fuck now
do you guys understand there will NEVER, EVER be a show so wildly BATSHIT insane again how does one even begin to attempt trying to top this in any way shape or form
#jayvik#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#jayce talis#yes i’m sobbing on my floor what the fuck do you want from me#oh my god#i actually don’t understand how i’m supposed to go through my fucking day tomorrow what the everloving fuck#who just drops a finale like fucking THAT i can’t believe it#arcane i have waited 3 years for this i love you with all my heart#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#vi arcane#sevika arcane
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valentines newsletter ???? ?? HELLO ???????? ?????? ? ????
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#queen#queenkaard#art#doodles#comic#dude hes so fucking lonely and desperate oh my god. why is that becoming less and less of a joke#SIR this is a WENDYS#LOSER BOY !!!!!!!! LOSER. i lov you. you are so fucked up and strange and unhinged. what is wrong with you#i need ch3 and 4 right now i need to see if they love and or hate each other. i need to see more of whatever is happening here#yeah queens has personalized pens that have her face on them. what ruler doesn't#anyway#go in there#go in the dark#i mean the box
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stay warm! 🌟🍬🤖🎈
#stupid idiot forgot his mittens. to the shredder#merry yurimas.#polysho#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#proseka#Oh my god im waking uo for the stupid broadcast in like 6 hours im dumb as fuck#WEH. WEH#merry whatever the fuck#AUUUUUU excited to have nothing to do and draw for myself for um 12.. days. Oh my god theres only 12 days til 2nd sem. Oh fuck everything#I NEED TO DRAAAAAAAAW.#guys help i was going to draw song covers i want but i need to sleep cause i have stuff tomorrow but listen#if rks gets a snobbism cover i called it. Ok? ok.#i think it would be funny and just if they dont get another duet again. get the ruinene treatment. CAN WE FREE RNN ACTUALLY ITS CHRISTMAS#what was the other thing. um carnival that song i want it added so bad idk if theres sny songs with its letter count but please.#literally played nijiro stories on repeat while drawing this we need them back#fucking NBOODY TOOOOLD ME ITS EMUKASA WEEK ON STIPID TWITTER IM NOOOOTHING IM NOTHIN#i usually acknowledge that i dont have the moxy to do fanweeks but i really want to be drawing more and faster so i will participate.#emurui week is like march iirc. you wont get away from me this time.
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insane
#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#what the fuck#oh my god#first episode in and im already going insane#911 show#911 spoilers
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personal take on fem tsukasa
#no the white bow is not part of my vision...... my apologies#if i was more tsukasa literate id think more about how being a girl would change her character and how the people around her react to her#like. instead of 'oh shes surprisingly caring' maybe more like 'oh shes surprisingly disruptive as fuck' because of hashtag society#and hashtag gender roles and whatever#but like i said. not really that well versed on everything he has going on so im just gonna leave it at the design#ann art#prsk#pjsk#tsukasa tenma#femkasa#prsk fa#So stupid looking in every universe god bless#IG WHAT I MEAN IS being a role model of an older sibling and being responsible i feel are traits more expected in girls. so it wouldnt rly#be 'unusual' or unexpected of her to be like that. i think. idk.#among other things probably. like realistically a lot of her personality would be changed but ASSUMING its identical to the original.. what#sequence of events/reactions/perceptions would have to have happened to get there. yknow. maybe.#education major in several child psych/development courses in ur area ! my bad
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she cut her hair 😔
#BARK BARK BARK#george russell#alex albon#formula one#f1#rule 63#2363#yeahg... theres a long sequence in my head of george showing up one day w her haircut and everyone gets whiplash#which is understandable she had the longest hair for the longest time. noone expected this scenario#and alex is like what tha flip georgie... in a way that sounds negative (it isnt. shes just surprised. galex common miscommunication trope)#and george is like oh my god you HATE it im going to KILL myself#and alex is like youre so fucking stupid jesus christ. you look awesome. etc etc kiss etc etc#ANYWAY LOL i love long ass hair georgie and pixiecut georgie just the same 🙏#random eurotruck mention sharl helps her cut her hair 😋 needa bring that diva up more often#ok goodnight. dream of george yuri tonight#my art#AND alex going wrong scissor action LOL#girl drivers
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they wrongfully executed his daughter, in front of him, and then imprisoned him IN THE CRATER FORMED BY HER CORPSE, IN HER RIBCAGE WHERE HER HEART WOULD BE, IN A SEA OF HIS OWN TEARS
#WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE *F U C K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*#IM GOING TO BE INCONSOLABLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE . OH MY /GOD/#mine#tdp spoilers#aaravos#leola#tdp s6
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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