#WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY ACCOUNT I MADE YESTERDAY AND DIDN'T POST ANYTHING WITH

[frenchkanna1808]

So after being in school alone with my thought, i wondered the question no one dared to ask, what is my friends daily account activity? Do they really hold up as dailies? How much dailies account even in there? Did brody cause 9/11? All those questions went trough my brain like wildfire, and after a very long 15 seconds of thinking i too the harduous task of finding every single daily accounts and using the power of MATH to see their overall activity.

so follow me on my little rambling as i see the RISE and FALL of the yttd daily community

So lets say some ground rule, when i mean activity i mean that the blog has posted adn actual daily blog post and not just talked or respounded to asks, so for example brocoli respounds to asks but he didn't post a daily since a certain time. Rule understood, okay okay.

First part of this task was to fin every single daily blogs and look their last posts, and this was the longest part for sure.

forget my very bad typos this was written in a moment of euphoria. What we can see from this is that there is 1 billion blogs actually but also that a ton of those blogs are in fact desactivated. THose which are classified as today are actually yesterday post i just was very lazy to change it.

Second phase was to put them all in different categories on a exel sheet to see the overal proportions and see the average of month since a last daily was posted.

as we can see there is no joke 53 FUCKING DAILY ACCOUNTS. But more importrantly about 16 of those accounts are either gone and dissapeared out of the face of the earth or they are simply stated as inactive by the daily in question. The second largest numbers are didn't post in 8 months and 4 months.

third part was to make a graphical illustration of my point, so i made a camembert.

so yeah i'm not gonna do a big study but its pretty clear that if we only consider daily accounts who posted today or this month as actual dailies then we can consider all the others as inactive dailies.

What was the point of this you might say? Well i wanted to prove my theories, first off most of those daily accounts were in fact born from the brody genesis, so when brody created his daily keiji account. It became a popular idea and everyone impulsively created accounts. The thing is that having a daily account is not some funny bussiness its extremely tiring and extremly difficult, and since most of the yttd community on tumblr are teens to young adults, we mostly have school to deal with. So keeping up with pace is pretty much impossible. Second my guess was that honestly all daily accounts would burn out in two months, and i was kinda right. Yes the graph seems to show that they lasted longuer, but actually, this doesnt count the time of inactivity in betwens or the long breaks. Most account burned out after 1 or 2 months which is pretty logical. LIke dailyshinai/rune burned out in two month for example.

I think the overral if we did a competion winners would be @rekofan101 who posted for a year straight and just terminated being a daily on their own account and janice/ @daily-dose-of-bucket who despite longs breaks are still posting. The dailies had an immense rise at one point but the fall was even harder slowly has the accounts and trend started to burn out. As someone who is on a dailies account i will say out of the maybe 30 blogs on it only lik 8 are actually active and only 1 post regularly.

This is isnt' at all a judgement or anything but its an interresting depictions of how waves of trends affect certains populations.

Tho if i had to give advices to make a daily account it would be:

-make it a weekly, more time better results last longuer

-don't do it alone perhaps do it with a friend and alternate betwen one another

-if you have adhd, a job, memory issues or overall issues that will make it evn more difficult for you to make an account a daily, i would consider not doing it, instead perhaps just do a regular fan account like me

But anyway thank for reading my useless unemployed friend rambling and keep doing what you love!

[dreambunnynotes]

daily reflection: nov. 16th ❤︎

good morning lovely friends! here is what i accomplished and what i could have improved today, to hold myself accountable. it was really effective for me to know that i had posted my goals list on tumblr yesterday where others could see it; whenever i felt like giving in to my adhd brain that tells me that tasks are to be feared, i would simply remember that i had kind folks online who were interested in seeing me succeed hehe, it helped me so much! here is my first day ❤︎

accomplishments:

i completed all of my cleaning goals and more! it turned into a deeper clean than i thought it would be which felt really nice (and is usually how it goes once i get cleaning). it's so lovely to be able to start fresh with a clean working and sleeping space; it's so much easier to feel inspired, be productive, and take care of yourself when your environment is as ready for you as you are for it!

i wasn't going to complete all of my texting and calling tasks, BUT I DID! these types of tasks are the hardest for me to get done because i have pretty intense social anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria, and communicating with others both online and offline takes a lot of mental preparation and energy for me. but i did it, and i am so, so proud of myself! in fact...

self-compassion:

not only did i accomplish my original communication goals, i also ended up replying to two friends i hadn't seen in a long time, even though i was anxious! both of them were at my sister's show last night and i was so surprised to see them and a couple of other friends that i had to go have a bathroom cry from the anxiety lol. i had so many emotions coming up; the first was sadness and shame seeing that they had all come in a group together and that i wasn't with them. i joined them two seconds after i saw everyone, but the sadness was still there because i was positive they would have invited me into the group earlier if i had been less isolated this last year, which is where the guilt came in. i realized i had been isolating from my friends for so long out of fear that i wasn't wanted, didn't provide anything to them, and that maybe i didn't have people i liked being around after all, but that is so, so far from the truth; i do have friends who love me and who i love, and all of them were so loving, so kind, and actually sent me messages after the show telling me how much they loved me and how happy they were to see me! it made me cryyyy and feel so many feelings. i have plans to see them next week, and i actually feel like i'm overcoming my isolation era at long last; i'm really proud of myself for having self-compassion and using tools i've learned in therapy to better my life! :')

my next step is to learn more about and overcome this shame i have around letting my friends love me for who i am; the only way to learn more about it is to actually make plans to see friends and be vulnerable; wish me luck 😭💗

improvements to make:

as for my other tasks; i cleaned out one of my emails, but i have so many email accounts that it felt a little bit lacklustre to call that an accomplishment. today i'd like to break down how big the task of consolidating my digital life will actually be so that i can take measurable and consistent steps towards completing my goal (writing that sentence is baffling me right now - bunny from a few days ago never would have realized how much writing out her goals could help her in being less afraid of them! this feels like a huge accomplishment for my adhd brain!)

today felt like a really successful day, and i'm super proud of myself! this was only the beginning of what i actually want to accomplish in a day, but it was such a great way to try it out. i'm excited to see where this journey takes me and how these daily checklists and reflections will affect my productivity; they already have helped so much! if you've made it to the end of this, thank you for taking the time to read about my day, it means so much to me! lets try our best to have another successful day! ❤︎

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Right, I'm back. I didn't post anything yesterday because I thought it's best not to rush. But it was indeed fascinating to see reactions in real time to the photo. Yes, I'm talking about the photo posted on IG of JM, JK and another person.

I think I must have read opinions that varied on a entire spectrum and expressed quite vehemently. It's safe to say everyone has really strong opinions and you either condemn it or you're totally fine with it, as long as you pick a side and don't question anything. In sitautions such as these, the tendency to add just a touch of conspiracy is right there. And it gets a pass when there's a lack of information, a language barrier, etc.

I too have my own questions and observations, to which I don't necesarily need an answer, but I'll just write them down.

1. I couldn't help but think of how deep the level of social media stalking is in this fandom. I looked up the account immediately as I saw a screenshot because initially there was confusion about the source. That guy made no previous photo uploads of either JM or JK. At a first glance, there is nothing to connect him to them. And still he had fan accounts following him, before it all blew up and he gained a lot more. My question is, how did that happen? Are there people who look up Jimin's followers list and they try to figure out if there's someone from an inner circle? In all those 50 million people? Do they check some select few accounts daily to see if there's a possibility of a post? The logistics of this are giving me a headache. Or maybe there's some obvious, easier answer and I don't know it.

2. Considering that the account is public, it's not like the photo is leaked. I don't know exactly the nature of the relationship that man has/had with JM & JK and I do not wish to make any speculation with regards to his intentions.

3. I think the outrage was mostly caused by jikookers bringing back to the surface that old photo under the heart arch. Which indeed paints a certain picture, but it's also not the most incriminatory thing out there. I don't think there's any real actual danger, considering that it was supposedly taken from Jungkook's dad Kakao talk. If that's true then it means the dad was ok with showing it.

3. What I personally believe should not have happened was to circulate that photo so easily on social media. People knew about it for a long time, even before someone posted it on I-Jikook twitter. But in cases like these, the photos will always be revealed. They will leave the group chats and out into the wild usually for a petty reason. Because at the end of the day, that's the issue. It has nothing to do with giving a shit about the people in the photo, it's about winning a shipping argument, about screaming "we won". Win what exactly???? It shows who is in it for the fantasy. No single argument could work for them. Replying on and on about deleting doesn't matter.

4. Maybe my last point, but this situation has revealed some things which were already known, but maybe not really articulated specifically all the time. As people not only part of the fandom, but also using social media 24/7, our ideas about privacy and what we should have access to when it comes to public figures has certainly been influenced by the current landscape. In the case of JM & JK particularly, they have been sharing pieces of themselves for more than a decade. It was the BH strategy, the BTS brand. It worked wonders because look at the huge fandom it gathered and the relationship that was built between idol and fan. Hell, Jungkook is doubling down heavy on it with his livestreams. How can anyone really expect a mass of people to really stop and think about privacy? We ourselves as regular people curate our social media image and we voice our opinions and share the places we go to, who are our friends, what parties we attended, when we get into a relationship. Every mundane or special occassion is posted for public consumption. I'm not saying this as some excuse that would justify sharing what looks like a private photo. What I'm saying is that it's to be expected in a way. As harsh as it is, but we live in this reality where the line between the public and private sphere is getting more invisible day by day.

What I think it's scary is that if there's a situation in which an actual compromising photo would somehow be leaked and which can be in the detriment of the people in it for various reasons, so called fans would still share it as proof. Because it doesn't matter for them. It's the high of finding it, of screaming about it on social media, without thinking for more than a second about possible implications. Everything needs to be done fast, regardless of consequences because people need to feed themselves with gossip and leaks.

I'm really just rambling here and not making too much sense. Anyway, I think we should always take a step back and really assess the situation and not scream about it, regardless of our position. Not everything is a threat, or privacy violation or putting people in danger, but it doesn't mean that it needs to be treated lightly as if it's no big deal (which usually comes from people who care more about their own safisfaction and feeling like a "winner").

[ingravinoveritas]

Hi Amy, I'm the cursed anon who asked Neil lol (and I guess I'll stay anon for all my life after what happened today). I just wanted to thank you for what you wrote. I was sure my ask would have reached your blog somehow, alas. I don't know what to say, I'm mortified, it's been a rather hard day for me, since I felt completely misunderstood and belittled by someone I looked up to. I'm sorry because I must have phrased my ask in a weird way, an even "creepy" one, it seems.. By the way, I'm so glad you didn't find anything creepy in that, because I don't know for the life of me what I said that was perceived that way. I spent the entire day thinking about it and, at the same time, I tried to distract myself from shame. I don't know how to describe it, but this answer made me question so many things, about my mental health too, and I definitely didn't need that. He could have just said that he didn't quite understand what I meant, instead he only made me feel stupid and fed me to the lions. I mean, of course I know that season 2 is wrapped for example, I just wanted to tell him that maybe this sort of casting might be a future problem for season 3, and that I hope it won't be an issue for season 2, even though I saw many people turning up their nose already. (As I also bloody know that David Tennant and Michael Sheen are actors playing a part, evidently this is not what my concerns were!) I really don't know how to better explain it, English is a hard language to convey things sometimes. Neil doesn't speak any other language than it, and it shows honestly, because he doesn't know how hard it is for someone who is not native; me asking that might have been an impulsive decision, but I really tried to do my best with the language, it was hard, and it's like he pretended he didn't understand nevertheless. I don't know, I'm so disappointed by such a response. I thought it was more likely that he just read and didn't answer, but that condescending response? I didn't expect that. I'm sorry that I made him so sour/sharp/harsh (I don't know which adjective is the more appropriate in this case, and it drives me crazy that it can take so little to be misinterpreted, that's what I was referring to) because evidently I must have offended him or hit a nerve, which was not my intention. I might have been stupid to ask that, but if the ask was so annoying to him, it's not like he was obliged to answer it and being so cruel at the point to completely distort its meaning. Do I regret it? I do, but maybe without all of this, I wouldn't have ever seen this side of him, and I'm for the truth, even if it always tastes bittersweet, so.. Good to know, I guess. 

Sorry for ranting! Oh my god, I didn't realise, it's just that it's still an open wound to me. Coming back to you, I wanted to tell you that even if you might not agree with me (you have all the right not to), your response is actually the kind I expected from a man of power who is twice my age (just saying). Thank you for always being so considerate and tactful, you really did made me feel a little better. I wish there were more people like you in the world, I mean it.

(Sorry for the disappeared ask, I deleted the account after sending it, thinking that it would have stayed in your inbox once it was there.. Well, I was wrong haha. I'm going to delete it after you answer then, I had reactivated it just because you turned the anons off and I wanted to thank you instantly <3)

Hi, Anon. Oh, I am so sorry for what you went through yesterday. I'm also floored to have you reach out to me, as I didn't even realize you were aware of my blog, but I thank you for doing so and sharing your thoughts/feelings with me.

It saddens me so greatly to know how much Neil's response has hurt you, and how it has affected your mental health. If the comments on my post about what happened are indication, however, you are definitely not the only one who felt that his response was not okay. What you said about feeding you to the lions was something one of my followers also mentioned, and whether Neil intended it or not, I would have to agree with that assessment.

The fact is, Neil is a writer. He knows how powerful words can be, and how suggestive. So by calling your question "creepy" in that first sentence, he is creating the lens through which the reader is going to view your question. And so what I would say is that two things can be true here, which is that 1) You have every right to feel the concerns you do, but trying to engage Neil about it was probably not the best idea; and 2) Neil has the right to feel/say what he wants, but deciding to answer your question the way he did instead of simply ignoring it was also probably not the best idea.

I don't know if you've been on his blog at all today, but Neil actually went into a bit more detail about his rationale, re: the use of the word "creepy" in the comments on this post, as part of a back-and-forth exchange with another fan who again brought up the issue of nepotism. I thought I would highlight these two comments in particular:

What I was struck by in the comment on the left was two specific things: 1) Neil's mention of the "undertones" to your question. Going by what you wrote, Anon, as well as the message that you've written here, I do not think there were any undertones to your Ask--with the possible exception of calling Neil's character into question (which, if he was hoping to squash that, it is now beyond ironic that his response to you has achieved the exact opposite); and 2) That someone who has been described as "so Tumblr" and "Neil gets it" would somehow be oblivious to how venomous people can be on social media, especially when encouraged by the creators of their favorite works, and why someone would therefore not want to make themselves a potential target. In just the first sentence of his response to you, however, Neil proved exactly why you were right to use a burner account.

In terms of the comment on the right, we see Neil draw a false equivalence between your question and people criticizing him for casting POC actors in Sandman. This was (in my opinion) Neil doing this fan what he did to you, which is twist around what they were saying as a means of deflection and avoiding answering the question that was actually being asked, which was about nepotism. The other irony for me is him talking about people accusing him of having a secret agenda, while he was the one doing the same thing to you. The only difference is that his assumption ended up having serious consequences, as we are now seeing.

I think you did hit a nerve, Anon, but--as strange as it may sound--I don't think it had anything to do with you. My feeling is that there is something going on with Neil and he is using Tumblr as an outlet--much in the same way that Michael used Twitter as an outlet in 2019/2020. So I do not think you are "cursed" or "made" Neil be salty/harsh--I think he was already this way and took whatever is happening with him out on you. Because if everything was absolutely fine--if what you were mentioning in your question was totally ridiculous and Neil was entirely unbothered by it--I do not think he would have answered it, nor would he still have been engaging this fan about it for hours afterward.

I know this probably won't be of much comfort, and I am sorry. English is not my second language, but I am autistic, and I relate very deeply to what you described about searching so hard for the right words (which is probably why it takes me forever to answer my Anons) because of not wanting to be misunderstood. And I know very well what it's like to have someone you so greatly admired turn out to be not at all what you expected, especially when everyone else's perception of that person is so wildly different.

It is for that reason that I can understand fans on here and Twitter rushing to defend Neil, not wanting to feel that someone they love could possibly do anything wrong. "Neil is a human being" is a comment I've seen frequently...but if we are going to say that Neil is human, then that means he is imperfect. It means he makes mistakes. And it should not be controversial to say this. I've also seen people in the aftermath of this saying how kind Neil is to the fans...but his response to you was unkind. Setting someone up to be a target is not kind. Neil has so many people who write into him who are dealing with mental health issues and concerns, and at best his response to you was thoughtless...but at worst, it sends a message to other fans that they, too, could become targets for absolutely no reason. And while I do not believe that Neil owes the fans anything, having an awareness of the power he wields and a sense of basic human decency does not seem like much to ask.

You do not ever have to apologize for ranting to me, Anon. I'm so glad that what I wrote in my other post helped you to feel better, even if just a little. I am by no means perfect--far from it--but I've been in enough fandoms and had enough heartaches to know that I would want to do anything I could to spare someone else from going through the things I went through. The shame here is not yours for asking a question that yielded a disproportionate overreaction from Neil--the shame belongs to the people who piled onto you because of it.

I want you to know that I was truly touched by your compliments, and that you felt comfortable enough to be so vulnerable with me here. I'm sending you lots of love, as well as the hope that we can continue to have honest discussions about these subjects. A lot of people are with you, and believe me when I again tell you that you are not alone. xx

[firesnap]

hi firesnap, sorry for this but is there any way you could maybe tag ur posts about the situation? This might seem insensitive and selfish because it’s about shelby and her comfort/happiness first and foremost but it’s been really triggering for me personally and ive been trying to distract myself on here. No worries if it’s too much of a hassle, i know escapism (?) isn’t the healthiest approach to this and if push comes to shove I’ll just delete tumblr off my phone for a bit.

Hope you’re doing okay all things considered and if it’s worth anything, in regards to ur post yesterday, I’m glad i got to know you (distantly) through this. It all went to shit now but seeing you on the dash made some of the bad days a bit less bad. Thank you for being a positive, older, influence in the fandom and no matter what decision you end up making in regards to this account, I hope you’ll end up happy :) <3

I can try but honestly I'd recommend just unfollowing me for a few days and then coming back when you're in a better place. The whole blog was about this guy and I don't know what else I'd be posting right now that wouldn't be tagged or related to the situation.

I hope that didn't come off as mean because, if you're a friend, I very much want you around while I figure out what I'm going to do here, but I don't want your mental health to suffer while I'm working through this too. Thank you for the kind words.

[lotusarchon]

No, I’m with the first anon. You publish asks telling you to hurt yourself all the time, but someone told you to stop engaging, tried to help because you THREATENED TO HURT YOURSELF, and you shot them down and tell them they’re acting like a saint. It isn’t healthy or a good look.

You don’t even have to answer this. You probably won’t. But I do hope you work on your wellbeing.

And again, you misunderstand the point I'm making.

I get where they're coming from, I know where they're coming from and I've already done then things advised. The last message I responded to with the shit was YESTERDAY. I've been posting other things to take my mind OFF of the drama.

You're not making yourself feel or sound better either, and rather than coming here to say that, SPECIFY, because again; I've already done what was said to me. You and that anon aren't the first people to do so.

I ignored their first message for a REASON. I've already done those things. But to come back acting like that is just baffling and furthermore annoying.

My best friend already told me that I needed to stop encouraging it, which I've done. I've cleared out anything related to the business, and that's it, I'm moving on to my own business with writing.

I'm not sure how many times I've had to repeat that I'm AWARE. If you checked the dates and times of the posts, you'd know that the last one was from YESTERDAY and NOT today.

You and first anon are confusing me still. Haven't you seen there's no other messages regarding the death threats?? Aren't you aware there's nothing posted recently because I know that's what they want? They WANT attention??

I'm trying to ignore the problem, but you and the first anon are bringing it up to prove some point that makes no sense. Listen, come off anon, then lecture me.

I KNOW. Believe me, I'm aware. I know that entertaining it is only going to bring problems for me.

I'm trying to actively ignore the problem, so if you're going to bring it up again, I'm going to delete your ask. Please stop repeating the same things over and over again because I've already done it and I'm moving on. I'm trying to keep what little of my sanity I've got left in peace. All you and first anon are doing are just reminding me.

You're just actively looking for problems at this point. If you can show me when the last recent post I've made answering any of the death threats or anons today, show me it, PLEASE. Because yesterday was the last time.

And, again. If you're referring to the dbz anon, chill, that's not hating. If you're referring to me reblogging my friend's post, if you read what I said, you'll know I didn't mention anything about harming myself because I KNOW.

Genuinely at this point this whole thing is a big fat joke. A lot of people are getting pulled in for no reason, but some people are TRYING to get pulled in.

Anon, you and first anon need to look through my account properly. And I mean, LOOK THROUGH IT. You see a few posts some people reblogged and IMMEDIATELY come to give repeated advise without context.

Adding this below here for everything in general; no I'm not suicidal, but also, even if I was and something were to happen, please genuinely stop acting like you would care. You're just some guy who came from someone's acc reblogging my post ready to jump in for no reason, it's super annoying.

I don't like this shit anymore than anyone else. Sometimes entertaining them is funny. I answered some of the other anons with funny memes or some shit just because trolling them is fun. Others I've deleted.

Dude. You guys are just bringing up a topic I'm actively trying to ignore. Giving me advice like this is only making me more annoyed and more butthurt. Yes, really. My method of coping is actively ignoring something. I've posted sooo many things and planned on reblogging all my fics to the top to ignore it.

I'm not a good person, never said I was, nor do I try to be. In the end of the day, I'm aware that the only person to blame is me. I'm upset my friends and others are getting yanked into the situation, but aside from that I know this is all my fault. From the beginning to the end, I KNOW. This was my shit, and I'll handle it by myself, either through committing, memes or something.

But you're genuinely just some stranger on the internet and quite frankly, you need to put yourself in my situation. I don't know you, or the other anons, why would I care to listen to you? I'm not obliged to, why do you persist on it?

If you bother to read this, then holy shit please understand. I never said the advice was bad. If anything, if you read anything properly but my tags, you would know I appreciate it even. It's silly but I like when people give me advice. What I don't like is when people repeat it constantly without explaining much less actually listening to what I say.

What's driving me insane is that you're still not listening. You're still not listening and holy fuck am I close to tears with this shit. Please, READ PROPERLY. Oh my god, it's genuinely not that hard for you to actively read, and process what I'm trying to say.

Over and over again, over and over. If it's not you fucking anons, it's my parents and if it's not my parents it's the police and if it's not the police it's someone else oh my god please LISTEN. LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING. I'M NOT TRYING TO FABRICATE SOME SHIT STORY, JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE LISTEN. STOP TELLING ME I'M LYING STOP FUCKING TREATING ME LIKE I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM TALKING SBOUT STOP IT STOP

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Some strange facts about some random anon like me!

I keep checking everyday those past few months when the update came when I still didn't find your tumbler account so I didn't have any knowledge of what was going on but I didn't stop doing that even though I found your Tumblr account everyday because apparently it became a habit.. checking and refreshing my browser page to see if getting updates was the best thing that happens to me with the chapters .. like chapter 8 I think got released on my birthday so I was very happy that I think I got it as a gift from you even though you didn't knew! So even if you didn't know that fact thank you ^-^!

I keep re-reading the parts where Golden cheese is angry because that was kinda a little attractive!.. You made it so well that I was surprised, just a question.. were you getting possessed when you were writing golden cheese or something because you did her so well lol!

I like her firm and dominating.. I just want to imagine it and I'm already getting sleepy due to the high overlord in my mind XD..

Like reader share some of that light- ahem!.. went overboard there..but what I said was true.. I got attach to golden cheese even with the lack of content when I found your fic :))...

I'm happy and kinda sad about the fic ending now.. like I mean I have been here since chapter 3-4.. even though I think that's not kinda long..I think?.. I basically got attached since that's too long that I will eventually get attached! Even if it's just writing! I waited for it.. I waited even if my time was wasted, I waited and it was worth it.. I was happy!.. I'm happy reader have found golden cheese cookie again at ending 2.. now I don't know where I should find another golden cheese fic again because apparently.. no one write her much since all the attention went to Burnt cheese due to his natural attractive nature with that long hair..

I would eat and gamble all that yummy food that people would write fics about golden cheese because it's the most delicious thing I can have in crk for awhile.. since I recently just join because I was raging at the lag months ago so-..

Take care by the way! I hope this brightens your mood like the other anons!

AAAAAA, h-holy crap! Yeah, this did make me happy! Thank you so much! I was already feeling a lot better about myself today, so you didn't have to do anything to cheer me up, s-so don't worry about that.....I-I was just a bit stuck in my head yesterday....^^;

Y-yeah, it's a shame that she doesn't get a lotta X Reader fics....I checked that tag recently, and the whole thing was me, like ONE other fic, and some older compilation stuff from pre-her release (when most of her characterization was just people speculating cuz we knew so little about her). She deserves so much more! Sh-she's just SUCH a cool character....! B-but sadly, I did see it coming, cuz back during her update, i-it really did immediately seem like Burnt got all the simps....I-it felt like I was in my own corner.....Wh-which is why it's such a pleasant surprise to me that my fic's gotten as much love as it has!

I-I do have ideas for other fics about her, and....i-if I ever do get to those, it'll probably be just for the sake of giving my fellow simps more food, cuz.....th-there's so little of it.....>///////>

A-also, the whole "it felt like you were possessed by the character while you were writing them" is SUUUUUCH a good compliment to give a fic writer, you have no idea....I-I really had so much fun writing her after I got the hang of it, so hearing that I did that good a job makes me feel very.....very good.....Cuz, I DID try to make her as in-character as I could, even if I got a bit indulgent in the last few chapters......X//////D

R-really, thanks so much for sticking with me for so long....( If you're telling the truth that chapter 8 was posted on your birthday, then wow, that's VERY lucky, cuz that was a really important chapter, for....o-obvious reasons, pffff.....) I-it's good to know that I was able to keep someone's interest for this long....Now, if CRK sticks true to their word and we DO see her again in canon soon, the game'll do the work for you while I take a rest from writing for a while! We'll see when that happens tho....So....y-yeah, thank you....!

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts days 22, 23

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven’t written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. And then somehow it turned into “I’m going to write a single interconnected story utilizing all of these prompts” which ?????, what can I say, I am incredibly foolish and there's no limit to my capacity for self-deceit. Anyway, the first draft is finished (at around 88k words) and I'll be unlocking posts here on tumblr as I edit.

read from the beginning here

Day 21 here

***

28. "Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now."

121. "I'd fuck you right here, right now, if I could."

***

Steph wasn't wrong. Tim really, really hated to apologize. Not because he saw it as losing face, or anything like that. It was because then he had to admit he fucked up, which might possibly mean he was a piece of shit. It just seemed like at some point he should be able to be the type of person who only caused harm because he meant to, and not because he hadn't slept in too long, like a cranky toddler.

But he was also not a chickenshit, so he suited up at home and left through one of the two concealed exits in the basement level as soon as he knew Damian would be on patrol. (And three nights in a row was a lot—he made a mental note to check the patrol rotation again when he returned home, because Tim wasn't the only one who needed sleep.)

He found Damian sitting on top of one of a huge stack of containers at the harbor, overlooking the ships being offloaded. Without trying to make the process soundless, Tim landed on the opposite end of the container. Damian's shoulders stiffened, but he didn't bother turning around.

Tim bit the inside of his lip, considering. He hadn't been able to work out the most appropriate method to begin this conversation despite all his brainstorming on the way over, so he'd finally decided he would just wing it. But now that the reality was staring him in the face—or determinedly giving him its back—he found himself nearly speechless.

Which was unacceptable. Right. When in doubt, dive in, and fix it later if it goes tits-up. (The part of his brain that offered constant commentary on his own thoughts gave the notion a hazy attribution to John Constantine, who was hardly a stellar example, but the principle was sound.)

Accordingly, he opted for the straightforward route. "I've come to apologize."

Damian gave a derisive tt but made no other acknowledgement.

"Would you mind taking your comm out for just a second? I'd prefer this not be accidentally shared with the entire crew."

He could tell Damian struggled with the concession, too angry to want to give an inch, but in the end discretion won out. He plucked the comm from his ear but kept his back turned. "Despite whatever Brown's inevitable gossipy meddling may have led you to believe, I do not require an apology."

Tim took a deep breath and paced a little closer, still keeping a prudent six feet between them. "I'm not here because of anything Steph said. I'm here because I fucked up and I need to make it right."

Damian snorted in contempt. "I assure you, there is no need. For me to accept such a thing would indicate you inflicted some sort of injury upon me. Which would imply you somehow developed skill and significance enough for that to occur. Which in turn is nonsense."

"Believe me, I'm well aware," Tim replied, and couldn't keep his tone from going dry as the desert. Damian's hands gave an inexplicable twitch at the words. "But be that as it may, we are still on the same team, and yesterday I acted like you were the enemy for no good reason. Yeah, you overstepped. But it was out of concern for my well-being and the safety of the family, so I should've been more understanding." He drummed one fist against his thigh, waiting for a response, but when none was forthcoming, braced himself and gave one more offering of vulnerability. "I was maybe still a little off-kilter from the dream. That one—ever since Insomnia fucked with my head, I've had the nightmare he gave me recur sometimes. Where it's not just Boomerang and my dad who die. It's most of us too. Except me. So I was definitely not at my best." A long pause, and still no sound. "I'm just gonna keep talking until you shut me up, but I'm pretty sure you're going to have to face me to do that, so . . ."

Damian's shoulders lowered the slightest bit. "Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now, and at least three of them don't involve turning around." He did give a quarter-turn, though. He wasn't looking at Tim, but his body was angled so Tim could at least see his profile. "They do mostly involve some sort of bloodshed, however."

"What a surprise. Not that I'm saying I don't deserve it." Tim dared to come within arm's reach. "I really am sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry and I said a lot of shit I didn't mean." He had turned off the white-outs on his domino, but Damian's were still firmly in place, so Tim couldn't tell which way he was looking. His ear was tilted toward Tim and he was clearly listening, and that would have to be enough to keep going. "You were right. I was being a baby."

Damian's chin dipped, and he angled his face away again. "Perhaps you were correct about some things as well. I regret not bringing up the issue with you instead of Father. And . . . other actions." Color crept up his cheeks.

Tim drew close enough to feel Damian's body heat radiating against what little skin he had exposed. A sudden sensory memory assailed him: leaning his face into the crook of Damian's neck, pressed together in a line from chest to dick. A wave of remembered arousal washed through him and left him aching with its recession. "If I made you regret we fucked, I'm ten times as sorry. You shouldn't have your memory of that ruined by me having been a jerk later."

Damian shrugged, a quick jerky motion entirely at odds with his usual grace. "I cannot argue with the final accusation you leveled at me."

Tim's mouth twisted as regret carved a hole in his chest. "Yes you can. You should. Don't agree with Temper-Tantruming Tim. He's an asshole and he only tells the worst part of the truth. I don't regret fucking you, Dami. I'm flattered you asked me. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Damian leaned toward him at the confession, every muscle betraying how badly he wanted to hear it. Tim suppressed a smile. He should have known praise would be his way in. "I'd fuck you right here, right now, if I could."

He reached out a cautious hand and grasped Damian's gauntleted fingers. Damian heaved a sigh of his own but didn't pull away. "I suppose you're aware that you could."

Tim couldn't stop himself from laughing aloud at that. "Fuck you right here? Yeah, if I want Oracle to take video and give notes on my performance." He reached up to tap the tiny depression on his domino that cleared Damian's white-outs.

Damian met his gaze straightforwardly, but it clearly cost him some effort. "Then perhaps you should do it where she can't see."

Tim pretended to consider, but it was a done deal as far as his dick was concerned. "You think so?" At Damian's firm nod, he grinned. "Better head back to my place after we're done, then."

Movement down at the harbor caught his eye. A group of men were creeping toward a particular container, hiding behind others as they went. "Hey, there's something going on. Wanna take a closer look together?"

"Naturally. I have not been standing here for my health. Let's go."

But before they did, Damian brought Tim's knuckles to his mouth, and Tim could've sworn he felt the burn of the kiss even through the Kevlar that separated their skin.

days twenty-four, twenty-five, and twenty-six here

[nestaismommy]

I really don't know how people put up with it.

Yesterday I commented on why Rhysand doesn't like Nesta, and of course someone came from the other side of the fandom. I really don't know how to fight, when I was little I was unable to give an opinion about something at home that my mother would start a fight saying I was wrong. I showed her evidence showing that I was right, but it was impossible for me to gain anything from her, she did everything to be right, even if it meant being wrong. We are very different in that, I know how to admit when I'm wrong but she doesn't. So I never learned to fight for myself, defend myself, defend my opinion and rights, even when I prove that I'm right, I still tremble whenever a fight starts, because of that, even if it's online.

But back to the person who came to fight me... As soon as I saw that they had commented I started to panic, and of course, to shake too - and I'm technically new to Tumblr, so I don't know how to use it very well, I didn't know I had how to deactivate the comments for nobody to comment - because as I explained well, I don't know how to defend myself. Another person came and then everything got worse, I started desperately looking for how to deactivate comments because I'm obviously a coward and I wanted to run away from any fights, when I finally figured out how to deactivate comments I just replied to this person and before closing them I asked him politely to leave because I was just giving my opinion and trying to join a community that understood me - this side of the fandom - and I immediately turned comments off.

How can you do that? Defend something/someone you like, defend yourself, how? As soon as I saw what they were talking about, I started to shake. I really don't think this is for me lol. I'd better stay in my lurking corner, agree with everything you say, and read the fanfics of this little community of ours.

Hi Anon ❤️

It’s not as easy as it looks. I used to be like that too, I thought I was the only one.

I think that by time, you get used to it. I’m always prepared for any response I might get, I also realized that haters say the same thing over and over again. Usually when I get attacked, I take it as more of a discussion rather than an argument because at the end of the day, you have to remind yourself that this is all ink on paper. That it’s not worth the stress. I made friends who help me defend my favorite character and myself. I think having a lot of mutuals who share the same opinion as you helps. My mutuals help me a lot, even if they don’t know that. I defend Nesta when people are being unfair and misogynistic, but I don’t defend her mistakes. I’m not doing anything wrong, that’s what matters.

I think the hardest part about TUMBLR is posting for the first time and not knowing anything about how the community is like here. I was clueless when I posted, I immediately got attacked. I deleted. I didn’t post anymore. Then I saw so many people defend Nesta with their blood, sweat and tears, and it made my rethink my decision. There are so many things I wanted to say but was always too afraid to. I think we should all have the chance to express our opinions without getting attacked. So I posted again, got attacked, and I didn’t stop. I kept on posting until I made a lot of friends here. I was told that their are certain people who go through hashtags just to hate on Nesta lovers. I was sent the usernames of the problematic accounts, I blocked them and I stopped getting hate.

Sometimes this isn’t for everyone. Some people prefer to turn off the comments, so that they can express their opinions freely. I support that, even I do that sometimes. Especially on TikTok. Also, I usually find it hilarious when I hit a nerve and everyone gets mad and pressed over a fictional character. I mean, there was this one person who told me that Nesta putting herself in danger by going near the wall to look for Feyre is the bare minimum because sisters are supposed to take care of each other, and she shouldn’t be praised for that, so I said “well Feyre putting herself in danger by going out to hunt for her sisters is the bare minimum because sisters are supposed to take care of each other” they got so mad and it was hilarious.

Either way, If you need help, don’t hesitate to message me. If you want those accounts, so that you can block them and decrease the amount of hate you can get, just ask and I’m here. If you need someone to support you, I’m here. ❤️

[koppiki]

gah, I HATE how long chapter 30 is taking to get out, and I also hate that my ability to translate more chapters is directly tied to my sureness that it will actually COME OUT at any point, given how things are going, it's not really anyone's fault, but when stuff takes so long I start feeling like it'll never happen again y'know?

doesn't help that my cleaner has gone what I would charitably call "minimum contact," so I got NO fuckin' clue what the progress/situation is on ANY of that, I would get more cleaners but I have known this man for like SEVEN YEARS (since high school) so like... I feel like I can't do that

oh also still looking for a typesetter for Q, What is Love, not that anyone here would necessarily interface because of that, but I figure may as well say it anywhere that I can

especially since it seems I can't actually make a damn CHAPTER ANNOUNCEMENT when the chapter ain't gonna be OUT

thankfully takeshino works pretty quick (and is communicative) so at least once the cleans are done (as they are now) I get some gosh-darn EMOTIONAL SECURITY for once, feeling like it'll actually get done

I also just feel bad for leaving people on cliffhangers, I guess- chapter 29 is a real cliffhanger, after all. Chapter 30 is not. On account of being... the last chapter of the volume. Those don't tend to be quite so cliffhangery. Except in romcoms. Which this is not. It is a com, though. Solidly a com.

OH I also read a gl that I thought was quite good called "Throw Away the Suit Together." With the period and everything, in the romanized title. I really liked it. The art was great, and was used to good effect in expressing the emotions and whatnot. Good stuff. I also just tend to like any gl that isn't just... schoolgirls. Since, y'know, over-saturated, and not relatable, and tends to have all those issues of like... implying that bein' a lesbian is just a phase, or some weird pure thing to be put on a pedestal, or anything like that. This doesn't have that. It does have explicit imagery though, so don't read it if you don't like that sort of thing. If you don't mind it, though, this is expressly a recommendation to go and check it out.

my sleep schedule has been slipping. I need to get up at 8 now, which means I need to go to bed before 12, and I am not doing that now. I was doing it for a while. Today and yesterday, not so. Probably still fine. I'll get used to it.

Oh, I also started reading the Kamonohashi Ron mango that my dear mutual headinabox posted about, since it looked interesting, and it certainly is! Deeply fun manga. Really enjoying it so far.

I ALSO read Futari Escape (very good), My Solo Exchange Diary (excellent, and I didn't know it existed until just recently), Mizuno and Chayama (quite good, if disjointed- the artistry made up for it though), Hello, Melanchoic! (fun one)... and started and dropped some other stuff that wasn't so good.

When I read My Solo Exchange Diary, I read it in math class. This would've been a bad call if the math teacher was good, because it meant I would've missed out on Crucial Learning, but (un)fortunately he is a very not-so-good teacher (who I have had the misfortune of having before) so... is good. But it was also STILL not a good call, because that mango made me cry, and crying is not really what I want to be doing in Discrete Math. Usually. Really good, though. Sorta wish I had read it at home so I didn't have to tamper my emotional responses.

Also back to the ron mango, I read that one in modern physics. Which was actually a bad call, as that class calls for pretty active participation, so I got in a little bit of trouble. I blame the mango, for being too enjoyable. How dare it distract me (I guess). Ha.

I wanna talk more about mangoes with people. I don't get a ton of opportunities to do it? I mean, I do get opportunities. I got the fishcord, and that has discussion aplenty should the situation arise. I guess I just meant... vocally. In person. That sort of thing. Don't know a lot of in-person folks that share my hobbies, or at least that aspect of them. I got folks I play games with, certainly, and they know me well enough now (and are comfortable enough with their sexuality) for me to talk about that sort of thing, but the mangoes (especially translation, and any gls and bls) remain pretty solidly outside of their zone. Not that that's a problem. I'm content on my own, in this specific case. Mostly. Though I guess half the reason I read these things is to fill that on-my-own-edness, so... sort of a... catch-22? I want to talk about the things I read, but I read the things I read because I don't have so many folks to talk to. Not really an exact cyclical relationship (cuts out a lot of middlemen) but it sorta is? If you squint?

Oversimplification is a bad thing to do, but sometimes it's all you can do.

Anyways, if you actually read all this, hello. How are you? I hope all is well. Enjoy your day, and all that. Reading my solo exchange diary kinda made my brain go funky (in a good way, I think? somewhat?) with respect to conceptualizations of relationships and interpersonal reactions generally. Makes me both... want to try talking to people, and more okay with the fact that I don't talk to as many. Though she is certainly right that it's important to have a variety of people to spread the load amongst, as it were. Can't get all my social interaction (even though I don't necessarily need a ton) from just the same one guy. I imagine it's bothersome, somewhat. Much like this would be if I actually said it to someone. That's why typing is a magical thing. I don't need to say it, and there's no obligation to read it. It just is, and if someone reads it, that's on them. It's not like it's addressed to anyone, it's not like there's social expectation... though I guess on the other side of things, it makes it all that less likely to actually be heard or responded to.

Which, I think, is sort of half the point of saying anything in the first place. So, whatever.

[imaginesforjohnnydepp]

new orleans, we have a problem

nick and sidney were out walking the dogs when both of their phones began to ring. cleo was straining against her leash for another tree as the one in front of her wasn't good enough and sidney used her other hand to answer her phone. "hey michelle, what's goin' on?" it was very rare for michelle, sidney's head of pr to be calling her; in fact the last time they actually spoke in a business capacity was to tell her not to answer any questions about her father in the aftermath of the trial. "have you checked instagram lately?" michelle sounded frantic (but when doesn't she sound frantic?).

"no, not really. why, did something happen?" on the other end of the line, sidney could hear the clicking of a mouse and typing. "only that your baby bump is all over social media. a girl got a picture of you yesterday. i'm emailing it to you now." sidney exited the phone app and saw an email from michelle and she tapped the notification. sure enough, it was a picture of sidney from the other night, her bump on full display.

the girl who posted the picture to her x account, zoey, already had hundreds of replies under the post. the baby bump couldn't even use the excuse of being her clothes being wrinkled or a bulky coat (the last of the cool weather is dying down in new orleans). "oh shit. nick! you have to see this!" she titled the phone to her husband who pulled out her own phone and she saw him pull up x, typing her name in the app's search bar. there were thousands of impressions.

half were congratulatory while the other half were condemning the girl for exposing the couple's private joy ("this is something nick and sidney should've been able to announce for themselves. zoey should be ashamed of herself."). and of course there were the weirdos who thought sidney was "ashamed" of being pregnant and wondered why she didn't want to show off her baby. "so what do you want to do now? should we announce it?" a part of sidney wanted to share this news with the world, that she's expecting a baby with her husband, the love of her life, but the other part wanted to protect this piece of her happiness.

"i don't really see the point of announcing it. i mean, the bump is out there. i don't know what much else is there is to say, but i was hoping we could've waited until gabriella was born to say anything at all." they circled the block for a second time, trying to come up with a solution, and in the end, they still decided to wait until gabriella was born and announce her birth instead. confirming the pregnancy at this time would be pointless because, duh, people can see sidney is clearly pregnant.

they made it back home, where they were preparing dinner and talking about how gabriella should be raised. nick removed the grilled chicken breasts from the air fryer as sidney chopped and wash the vegetables. "i feel like if we had to move back to california, it wouldn't be l.a. santa barbara maybe? probably when she's older," nick mused, grabbing a pack of burger buns. sidney loves santa barbara; it would be closer to lily and her friends, but not too close to los angeles where she'd have cameras shoved in her face 24/7. "santa barbara is perfect, it's so beautiful there."

a few minutes later, they sat down to dinner in the living room, where they turned on hulu, trying to figure out what to watch before settling on shrek on peacock. they split a bag of jalapeño chips on their plates as the movie started. "we can still just announce her birth and leave it at that." and then there's also the issue of going back to work. sidney is due in new york to begin filming her show which would give her a little over a month to recover and bond with the baby.

"maybe we should hire a nanny. my parents can't take care of a baby full time, and you only have a handful of weeks to take off from the tour." nick took a few sips of his water and nodded. "maybe my parents? they can come here for a month, and maybe they can watch gabriella in shifts?" as much as sidney loves her in laws, it was a lot to ask two people to pack up and basically move to another state for a handful of months to take care of a baby. "it wouldn't hurt to ask." the nanny idea would be put on the back burner for the time being.

over the course of the movie they wondered if gabriella would like shrek, if she would be more drawn to music or acting when she was older, how she would be raised, and nick asked her how parents managed. "the only thing my parents had to really worry about was perez hilton as far as the internet was concerned, and i wasn't allowed to have a myspace page, but i found around that one anyway, but i think this is a conversation you're gonna have to have with them. or you can talk to danielle and kevin."

sidney turned her attention back to the movie, putting chips on her plate. his two oldest nieces alena and valentina are being raised in new jersey by their musician father and a mother with no ties to the entertainment industry, in the age of social media where your every move is announced by an update account, while sidney was raised in louisiana with her actor father and journalist mother, way before social media was a thing. by the time sidney decided to take acting seriously, everyone had a myspace account and facebook was in infancy. there are definitely stark differences of course, but he could see where things were equal: sidney had a normal-ish life and alena and valentina's lives are normal as well.

that's what he wants for gabriella. for her to grow up without prying eyes. he'd have to ask johnny and simone for advice and his brother for some advice.

[avocate-assia-dazai]

Writober day 1: Lovers to ennemies

Author's note: Heyoo this is my first true post on this account. I wish you all like my work. I'm sorry in advance i'm not a native english talker. And I wish you enjoy this, because i enjoy writting it, i'm a bit anxious because i'm not sure about it, but whatever~ Be careful, italic is pretty important, it mean past events.

Synopsis: I think the tilte is already pretty abvious. But to sumup you're at the place of Cherry Evans, in an important moment of her life.

Number of words: a bit less then 2k

An aftertaste of wine in the throat, trembling and cold hands, the deafening sound of the rain. This time again I sat waiting for the person of my world to come back to me. But unlike that night, I find myself wishing he would never comes back. Everything seems so different, and yet so the same. I was never a strong woman, I will probably never be. I am a hole, unable to put reality into words and face my life. The rude truth is, everything just repeats, whether it was twenty years ago, five years ago, yesterday or today. I am still the same weak and terrified woman.

I don't even have the strength to get up, call him, or do anything. I looked at the bottom of my glass of wine, his favorite. I was so sure of myself, and yet it would only take one word to throw away all my certainties and crush them as if they had never existed. And while the ticking of the clock made this silence even heavier, the sound of the rain made everything harder for me. I thought I loved rain because he made me love it, but in reality I hate it. Maybe if it wasn't raining, nothing would have happened like this.

The sound of the rain, the water running down my frozen skin, even though I could no longer feel the drops falling as I had gotten so used to it. I don't even knew if I was crying. What I knew is that it was cold, and I wanted to tear off those black clothes, I wanted to tear off the false compassionate smiles of those people I had never seen anchored in my memory. I wanted to tear everything away. And I fled, finding myself here, sitting alone in the rain, praying that I would die too while the water still fell. And that evening too, I hoped to feel his hand on my shoulder, asking me what I'm doing alone in the cold at an hour like this. But I knew he would never come back. My father was dead. I knew it, and yet when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I didn't move, just wishing it was his.

The aftertaste of the wine they serve at funerals in my throat, and this hand on my shoulder, this presence at my side that I did not dare look at fearring of destroying all illusions. “It's co-”, he doesn’t finish his sentence, even though I hadn’t said anything. But he understood that I wouldn't move. That if I even tried to get up, I would probably fall even deeper where no one could ever find me. He didn't say anything more, he simply placed his coat on my shoulders. And after that, this same silence remained as long as possible. I was in too much pain to care about his presence. But he never left after that.

The sound of the key in the door made me raise my head suddenly, it almost hurt. I watch the handle tilt with so much expectation that I have a hard time trying not smiling. Sometimes I didn't understand my body, why smile now? For a moment my mind went blank, and it took a lot of self-control not to go and greet him. His tall figure crossed the door, his eyes fixe on me. There was a long silence, then he looked away, seeing on the pretty table, almost academically set, a dish of lasagna, his favorite, made especially for him. It was so late that I had forgotten about it. I looked at the dish, his gaze turned to me for a moment, before changing direction once again, I followed him carefully as if refusing to miss the slightest of his thoughts. Wine. And once again, his gaze fell on me, and silence returned for a long moment before he dared to say these few words: “You shouldn’t have waited for me. I ate with colleagues.

I wanted to wait for you”

He respons nothing, just took off his shoes and took off his jacket. He hesitated to go straight to bed. After fifteen years of marriage it was so easy to read his face even if it didn't change. But he sat across from me, poured a glass of wine, loosened his tie and took in a breath of oxygen before simply drinking, looking at nothing. In a way I didn't want to immediately break this moment of peace, I even surprised myself by wanting to stay like that, in front of him, peacefully drinking wine with him.

This wine, he must have recognized it as much as I did, it was his favorite. It was expensive so there were only a few occasions when we tried it. Sitting around a luxurious table, my hands were shaking. I had nothing to do in this restaurant, I was so anxious, trying as best as I could not to do anything stupid. Dressed in my most expensive clothes, which in themselves were not that expensive, my hair up and makeup that I had tried to make sophisticated. I know our graduation was something to celebrate, but when he asked me to dress up "properly", I thought we would just go to the movies or maybe eat at his parents's house. I regretted not pestering him a little more to find out where we were going. He read me like a book, he took the menu out of my hands, his cold face wore a mocking and playful look that I had rarely admired before. “It’s forbidden to see the prices, I’ll read you the menu and you take what you like.

Don't be stupid! I can pay for my-

Don't be stupid, let me invite my wife to the restaurant~

I'm not y-

Halala, you are really stubborn. Well, will you?"

I think I hadn't understood his sentence well, I didn't have time to answer him that I didn't want to let him pay. He took a last sip of this wine, before pushing his chair and standing up. kneel in front of me, to take out a small velvet box for me. “I wanted to tell you this for dessert. But actually I want to be yours now, and you be mine. I want to be able to pay you everything and take all your worries away now. I can’t eat without being sure that we will experience dozens of meals like this”

I handed him the envelope that had been hidden on my lap all this time. A smile on my lips, betraying my discomfort, my hands were trembling. He looked at me, neither confused neither surprised, he reached out his hand to take it from me, he opened it and started reading. “I wanted one last of these luxurious meals with you.” These few words spoken by a woman not knowing how to react did nothing to help the situation. I shouldn't have said them. Another long silence ensued.

I tried so hard not to smile, while he looked at me with a look that didn't show anything, didn't allow me to know anything. He looked at the contents of the envelope, and the silence was so heavy that I looked away. A hand grabbed my arm and lifted me up. He was jumping around, laughing or crying. I wouldn't be able to say, probably both. He made me flutter and I couldn't help but admire this new expression on his face that I had never seen. I was so happy, I laughed with him. He ended up putting me down on the ground to kiss me I don’t know how many times and finally just hug me with all his strength “thank you, thank you, thank you

Stop thanking me. We did it together. You better-

Whatever you want, thank you, thank you, thank you. Finally the three of us will form a real family.”

But this time there will be no outpouring of joy. In fact, I didn't even expect him to say anything. He simply looked up at me, placing the envelope in front of me. I thought this heavy silence was going to kill me. I looked at him for a long moment before he finally got up and looked at me. "Alright.

What do you mean Alright?

I agree.

That's all?

What do you mean that's all?

You're not going to say anything more?

No. that's all."

He simply got up from his chair, not even bothering to finish his glass of wine. And he passed me, a heartbeat. This brief moment seemed like an eternity. I couldn't hear the sound of the clock or the rain, and every step he took drove me crazy. I thought I didn't expect anything from him, but that's not true, I wanted him to say something. I reached out to grab his arm, and he looked at me almost confused.

The feeling of the fabric crumpled in my hand, I squeezed so hard I felt my nails dig into my palm. I said nothing, despite his repeated questions. I had nothing to say, no explanation. And at one point I felt the air split in two beside me, a horrible noise accompanied it, I looked behind me, at the wine stain on the wall, at the pieces of glass on the floor. He threw his glass a few millimeters from my face, before grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me in all directions. I hadn't noticed, it even took a few moments for his voice to reach my ears. Did he try to hurt me? Or did he want to scare me? Or was it just rage? He screamed like that night, he shook me exactly like that night, and since that night I stopped being myself.

I slowly opened my eyes, and I felt something heavy on my arm, I immediately recognized the feeling of his face pressed against the sheets covering my arm. The moment the first song escaped my lips, that weight disappeared, replaced by large hands on my shoulders. Trembling and heavy. It took me a few moments to regain my sight and see my husband's face destroyed by grief whispering to me I don't know what. “We lost her. For what? For what? Why did you do that? Yet I told you-

I thought you were-

I told you not to go! Now she is dead!”

These words made my blood run cold, I placed a hand on my stomach, and I was hit by reality, unable to utter the slightest word, or even just to hear it. I couldn't believe it.

“You killed her! You killed her, what the fuck do you expect from me! You killed her, you are going to kill this marriage like nothing, what do you expect from me!” I hated those words, I looked at him my vision blurred with tears, my throat contracted, my blood boiled “No! No! No! It's wrong! I was afraid for you! But you kill me every day holding me responsible!

Me? Are you going to blame me?! I was always there for you! And you had nothing to do, stay quietly, but you took this risk I gave it to yo-

I lost her too-

No you haven't lost anything, you never loved this chil-

It's wrong!"

The words and insults were flying, the reproaches of the last five years thrown like bombs to cause as many victims as possible. And at one point silence fills the room again, the sound of the clock, of the rain, of heavy breathing. “I miss her too… But I miss the man I love even more… You are not the man I loved. You, I hate you.

I would have preferred you to die in his place.”

[rayclubs]

That's literally not what the post is saying.

This post is saying "stop treating your mental illness as a mental illness and give it more human character". It doesn't mention the unhelpfulness of language or abbreviations, nor the levels of accountability taken. I saw the "bitching" post and I do think the diabetes example was made in bad faith, but it's very illustrative. Both "I'm sorry I yelled at you because I have ADHD" and "I'm sorry I yelled at you because I wasn't in control of my emotions" convey an equal degree of remorse.

I reblogged this post yesterday with some mildly disapproing tags, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how wrong it actually is. You don't have to "humanize" your mental health condition for people to feel compassion for you. You don't need to explain your actions in a "relatable" way for mentally healthy people to excuse them. If you have a health condition that affects your behavior, "taking responsibility" does not mean neglecting the effects of said condition.

For a good point of comparison, try this "humanization" tactic in third person. Like this:

Pathologizing: Your friend yelled at you because they have ADHD. One of its syptoms, RSD, makes them very sensitive.

Humanizing: Your friend yelled at you because they felt overwhelmed in the moment and reacted badly. You didn't mean to offend them, so this is their fault.

Hits different, doesn't it? I think we find it easier to speak unfairly and judgementally in first person. Try substituting "your friend" for "your partner", or even "your child". See how that makes you feel.

I don't think the OP was maliciously wrong on purpose or anything, but the reading comprehension of the addition is very out of touch with the reality of the text. You don't need to humanize your symptoms because they are already human enough. Because you are human! People with ADHD, or autism, or BPD, or psychosis, or anxiety, or any other mental health issues are not fucking aliens from space, and would really appreciate not being treated as such.

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[katisblue]

I really don't know much ( almost nothing) about tumble but I just made account yesterday after fighting alot with myself if I can find you or not (I'm pretty much anxious about most things so it took me alot of time hut I deeply missed seeing you over tl) and being anonymous is easy to talk since I don't want to be seen as annoying or anything in tw I could intract with you but I didn't do much I was scared 😅 but I'm happy to see you doing well and I notice you also posting something new I'm so exciting to read it 🩷 thank you for replying me it warm my heart ❤️

I've been on tumbrl for a while and I STILL barely know what's going on sonalfs the feeling is mutual hehe! But I'm very glad that you decided to make an account to find me 🥺 And please, let me reassure you from one anxious person to another - this is a safe space for you and it always will be 💗

The anonymous feature IS pretty spiffy though, it means people don't have to go through another app like retro or cc! But it is NEVER annoying to interact with me on posts or the tl. I know it can seem intimidating, and youre welcome to remain anonymous, but you would NEVER annoy me 💗

I do hope that you enjoyed my new piece! And don't thank me for replyingnalskf I love chatting with people and you've really warmed my heart so thank YOU for writing to me 🥺💗💖

[zoueriemandzijnopmars]

As of today I do not only hate Facebook for obvious reasons but also for personal ones

[cinefairy]

Y'ALLL!!! when people say that self concept is key they mean: IT. IS. THE. KEY!

here's my success story from focusing on my self concept for a week! just a single week, i am in tears!!

so before, i used to brush off self concept and think that i'll work on it/get a got sc when i get my other desires, which is all wrong. i am so thankful that i let go of the old story, i used to limit myself and wasn't even aware. self concept can easily show you all your desires in the 3d, and then some!! the realisation made my life a 1000x easier.

then i read some posts and success stories that came about all thanks to self concept and i said to myself: that can be me, it is time to stop perceiving myself as a victim/bad manifestor, and i should just start focusing on my self concept! it is time to change the story.

so i started vaunting and ranting and affirming how my self concept is amazing, through the roof, wonderful, perfect, never fails me... you get the story. i didn't even visualize, didn't go into the void, didn't script. i was vaunting in front of the mirror, looking at myself and sometimes pretending i was talking to someone. i repeated that for a week, and almost every day i got some of my desires !!!

now, onto what i manifested:

1. An adorable kitten! my parents never would have gotten me a cat, no matter how much i asked them to, so i just relaxed myself and stepped into the mindset that no matter what anyone in my reality does or says, my desires are here and nothing can stop them. on the second day of the week, my parents asked me if i wanted a cat because my grandparents' cat just gave birth to three cutest kittens.

2. Perfect vision! i am someone who has been wearing glasses my entire life, my sight was deteriorated at birth due to some complications during labor, and my optician told me some years ago that there was no chance for me to be fully recovered (i had a couple of surgeries so far, and constant check-ups, it was so nagging and uncomfortable). she also told me a month ago that i should not use my phone, but nothing can stand between me and my screen time so i just decided to manifest my bad eyesight away! and i did it, but it's weird without my glasses lmao.

3. A new friend group! my old friends were closed-minded people, i am talking unsuportive, bashing on other people, but 'kind' only to others in the friend group, full of negativity and hate. i just needed a fresh friend group, so i manifested one! one of my friends now goes to the same uni as me, we start in october and it's so exciting heheh

4. Fluent in French language! i just wanted to be fluent in a language that wasn't my first language or english, and i had been studying french in elementary school so that seemed like the best option for me.

5. Money! i manifested the amount of my scholarship to double in my bank account and for no one to bat an eye at that, and for a certain amount of money to appear in my wallet daily (yes, spawning thing is so simple with the right mindset!!!), and for my parents to be rich because they deserve it.

6. A perfect dorm room! the dorm rooms my sister had been living in were just not it, so i needed to take thing in my own hands and manifest a two-bed bedroom with it's own bathroom (no communal bathrooms for me pls) in a dorm not far away from college which i share with another friend.

7. Desired body! my figure now is slim, i have 6-line abs odbwkdbajwhj i could only dream of that a month ago, everything on this list makes me so happy!! i went shopping with my mom yesterday and every pair of heans i tried actually fit me which is a big deal for me lol

8. Lenient parents! as i mentioned, my parents were not the ones to let me get a pet, and they also were very strict with my school grades in the past, and with my going out and hanging out with friends. but now, i have a great relationship with them, they are relaxed and they don't forbid me from doing anything (i literally am going on a staycation with a friend this weekend).

9. New clothes! yesterday during shopping, i found so many amazing sweatshirts, even one that is croptopped which i never used to wear, but got the courage to because who else would wear it if not a bad bitch?? i got a denim jacket, some jeans, sneakers... all i need at a discount!!

self concept makes life easy!! asf!! just stay focused on your new reality and there is nothing you can't get! have fun manifesting, and thank you cinefairy for opening my eyes <333

LETS GOOOOO THIS IS SO AMAZING ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ SO PROUD OF YOU ANON WOOW. all these achievements just from affirming how amazing you are.