#WELL THEY DO NAP TOGETHER

[zaphiyy207]

Thoughts

"Every life changing events, there's no doubt we'll change."

"But one thing I wanted to stay unchanged is being beside you...so.."

"If there's a next life, let me be reborn with you."

[dimsilver]

☀️

[nerosdayinanime]

"BECAUSE YOURE WORTH SOMETHING!" "THEN I DONT WANT TO BE WORTH SOMETHING! AND ESPECIALLY NOT TO YOU!" "WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?" "EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING SAID!" Giyuu stared down at him, contempt rising in his expression- but Sabito could feel the hurt behind the anger, both boiling over into a moment of shock. Pain bloomed on his cheek as his head was knocked sideways, he snarled and struck back- yelling vaguely filled his ears aside the pounding of his own heart. His throat hurt though he couldnt hear his own screaming over the adrenaline and tension, it-  ..it hurt. His cheek, forehead, he could taste blood- but what hurt the most was seeing the same on Giyuu. That he was inflicting. The same pain in his eyes he knew his own echoed. All of it a desperate plea, their bared teeth and glares wavering for a moment.

--

"What happened to Tomioka-san and Urokodaki-san?" "They got in a fight." "They did..? Why are they holding hands?" "They get upset when they fight." "Uwaa.... Thats so cute!" "I dont think Urokodaki-san's busted lip is very cute, nor Tomioka's black eye, Kanroji-san." "Ah!! I didn't mean it like that!-" 

(Sabito gently smoothed his thumb over previously bloodied knuckles, since patched up and cleaned. He felt Giyuu's hand tighten around his own, resolved and firm. He huffed a sigh and rested his head in his other hand, the ache subsiding.)

[bright-and-burning]

three loads of laundry two dishwasher cycles several swiffer sheets and probably a quarter of a container of wet wipes later.

[oneroomjestershow]

me petting my Ren wip before i change it to something else because my brain can't be still

[silentgravesdontexist]

Oh, just me, my brain fog, and this damned ad layout I've been having an intense staredown with. Nothing much.

[sysig]

A hero is only as good as his weapons, so make ‘em count (Patreon)

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.

I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.

There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.

That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.

25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.

Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.

It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.

I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like

I dunno

Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.

I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?

All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.

I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.

[inniave]

ABOVE ALL THINGS

SUFFERING,

GLORIFIED

[bytebun]

.

[pardonmydelays]

"not sure if that's a job for me tho, i was excited after my first day but now i am more like... confused? people are nice, which is great, but it's not exactly the kind of job i was looking for so idk. i may start looking for something else if nothing changes (i promised myself i'm not gonna stay if i don't like it cause i usually make this mistake & then i'm stuck in a place i fucking hate for 2+ years, not this time tho)."

*this is a different anon!* That's unfortunate, I'm sorry about that. It's okay if you don't want to or even can't, but may I ask what industry? And, is it retail again? I'm still on the job hunt myself, and I'm hoping to have a new job before May 31, 2024. That definitely sounds realistic, however, I need the hiring manager to believe in ME and give me a chance. I swear they won't regret hiring me. Ha. Anyways... is there an industry you're genuinely interested in and want to learn more about? Management skills are never a bad thing to pick up on and to your résumé! That's technically retail, but whatever, lol. I hope you're doing well!

(Once a BIG update (or more) happens to me, then I'll direct message you, by the way.)

~🌼

omg, hi! it's been a while! 🥺

so i don't want to give you any details, but long story short, it's an office job but you still have to talk to customers, just not face to face but through phone calls. i don't think it's right for me tho & i'm ready to quit any day now 😂 i don't even want any specific career, i just... don't want to talk to them anymore because i fucking hate them (after my 7-year experience i definitely know i wasn't born to be a customer assistant, they make me want to kill myself, i'm a depressed piece of shit & i blame them for that a little bit). the only job i actually liked was my first, in a bookstore (i had amazing team & i was working with something i truly loved), i miss it every day. but i am also very interested in just making money to survive, you know. i just don't want to feel so stressed every time i go there & so far i really feel like i want to throw up when i wake up in the morning & i barely even sleep at night. it sucks. i'm just really tired & i want to cry.

[bellamyroselia]

I've been lot of playing Fire Emblem Fates recently.

I think I ship Kiragi and Dwyer now.

[izzy-b-hands]

If ur waiting on a reply from me (and i know a couple of folks are rn) thank u for ur patience in waiting. I'm working on typing things up but today is just. idk how to put it but i keep winding up grumpy and my replies i feel are suffering for it. Pls know i do wanna chat and exchange ideas, I'm just trying to make sure the Grumpasaurus Rex side of my brain that's v loud today isn't mucking them up before i send them 🫂🫂❤️❤️

[dent-de-leon]

cards I got for tonight: Love, History, The Maiden :')

[movedto-clifflix]

i need to move in into his attic like the raccoon that i am .

[chryzuree]

chrysijacks would always share their cookies, even if they had two cookies to split between them… chrysi would jst break both cookies in half and hand a half from each cookie to jacks.. they have to be connected in all possible ways…