#WELL THEY DO NAP TOGETHER
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Wait, so you mean to tell me...that in both universes, these two can't be sisters together and be happy?
#what the actual fuck#fuck my life#don't even speak to me#i don't care about the theory that jinx is alive#well i do care#i care an unhealthy amount actually#but they seriously couldn't just be happy and reconcile and continue on with mending their relationship together?#anyway#i need a nap#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane season two#arcane season two spoilers#arcane vi#vi arcane#vi and jinx#jinx arcane#jinx#arcane thoughts#league of legends jinx#league of legends vi#lol#league of legends
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Thoughts
"Every life changing events, there's no doubt we'll change."
"But one thing I wanted to stay unchanged is being beside you...so.."
"If there's a next life, let me be reborn with you."
#kirby#meta knight#bandana waddle dee#king dedede#kirby of the stars#hoshi no kaabii#hoshi no kirby#return to dreamland squad#this is nothing serious shjshsj#its just that thought that you wanted to stay by someone side forever because you love them too much#in a way this is kind of inspired by 'sweet time' by Porter Robinson#how is this in Kirby's pov. not even i know but here I am#I just woke up from a nap to post this. How is everyone doing#I have interesting issues with my legs#They're healing well but man why do my body felt like it's falling apart and I'm barely in my 20s#I always rambled abt myself huh? Sorry sorry back to the art#if i scratch my memory hard enough. I think this kind of inspired by the next gen au of Kirby?#The longing of meeting them again if one had passed on#and also demon slayer. i cannot get rid of that hyperfixation anytime soon#the line of 'reborn together as someone close in our next life" has been my favourite to implement in stories that revolve around death#okay enough rambles#tata :D <33
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☀️
#y’all know when it’s a Doing Things Day?#well today I slept in way less than I wanted to and then decided I can’t take a nap to try to reset my sleep schedule#so I went and did some sight singing of choral pieces with friends (lamentations of Jeremiah/o vos omnes and Armistice 1918 took. me. out.)#as in they went so well (helped that half the people had done them before)#and then picked up two things from buy nothing#returned my friend’s wrench set#convinced another sister to come to weekend warrior with me#got some shoes I needed and two nice shirts at the thrift store#got art supplies I needed at dollar tree and ran into a deacon from my church there and had a nice chat#went grocery shopping#ran into an old friend who lives in another state in the grocery store??#called my boyfriend for a while while washing dishes#touched up a painting#read my first Terry Pratchett book (Equal Rites - it was amusing and enjoyable but not super special to me)#(I know there’s so much more! just dipping my toes in)#made dinner and prepped some extra things for future meals#spent hours going through little things I’d saved and pasting them into a journal#now going to read and annotate Life Together before bed#is this what it’s like when you get up and stay awake????#is this what y’all do?
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"BECAUSE YOURE WORTH SOMETHING!" "THEN I DONT WANT TO BE WORTH SOMETHING! AND ESPECIALLY NOT TO YOU!" "WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?" "EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING SAID!" Giyuu stared down at him, contempt rising in his expression- but Sabito could feel the hurt behind the anger, both boiling over into a moment of shock. Pain bloomed on his cheek as his head was knocked sideways, he snarled and struck back- yelling vaguely filled his ears aside the pounding of his own heart. His throat hurt though he couldnt hear his own screaming over the adrenaline and tension, it- ..it hurt. His cheek, forehead, he could taste blood- but what hurt the most was seeing the same on Giyuu. That he was inflicting. The same pain in his eyes he knew his own echoed. All of it a desperate plea, their bared teeth and glares wavering for a moment.
--
"What happened to Tomioka-san and Urokodaki-san?" "They got in a fight." "They did..? Why are they holding hands?" "They get upset when they fight." "Uwaa.... Thats so cute!" "I dont think Urokodaki-san's busted lip is very cute, nor Tomioka's black eye, Kanroji-san." "Ah!! I didn't mean it like that!-"
(Sabito gently smoothed his thumb over previously bloodied knuckles, since patched up and cleaned. He felt Giyuu's hand tighten around his own, resolved and firm. He huffed a sigh and rested his head in his other hand, the ache subsiding.)
#tomioka giyuu#kny sabito#sabigiyuu#giyuu#sabito#sabito lives au#loserboy giyuu posting#fratboy sabito posting#neros art tag#small thing i thought of when i was trying to nap#something something argument abt their self-sacrificing (& giyuu's self-worth) problems and they both lost it a bit#sabito saying 'i dont want to be worth anything to you if it means you'll get yourself killed for my sake'#giyuu not wanting to come to terms with the fact sabito's just doing the same thing *he* is#and how he only has a problem with it when its sabito's life on the line as well- exact opposite of what he wanted#they just care about eachother with their entire beings. hurting themselves hurts eachother in a horrible loop of pain they want to#relieve eachother from but dont know how. despite it all never taking eachother's existance *together* for granted#sabito's unspoken apology & giyuu's instant acceptance#theyre both big boys- a bit of pain isnt anything more than a little annoyance#but their bleeding hearts are a different story entirely#also giyuu had tackled him to the ground beforehand and shook him a bit- getting physical but not actually hurting him#but then everything exploded and a few others had to pull them apart#oh yeah Fortress(pinback) 'days with the light off freezing - you and i uneasy livid'
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three loads of laundry two dishwasher cycles several swiffer sheets and probably a quarter of a container of wet wipes later.
#i still need to mop the main room but i have clothes hanging up to dry there so i can’t yet lol#well i still have to do a lot of things. most of the surfaces in my room are still covered in clutter#but there is no more trash or dirty dishes or dirty laundry hanging around. we’re back to regular levels of eve clutter#picking up the pieces!!!!!! pulling my life back together bit by bit!!!!#going to take a nap now honestly. and then eat + shower and then hopefully… get back to it…#would not recommend slipping deeper into depressive madness 2 weeks before a terrible political event .#cuz suddenly ur looking around at 3 weeks of laundry on the floor . and somehow dishes in ur sink r moldy. n u gotta sort it out still
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me petting my Ren wip before i change it to something else because my brain can't be still
#he would not say that but it makes me smile seeing that while i draw#I CAN'T STOP FUCKING AROUND#i wish i could be faster and have more time and being able to concentrate more and having my life together and#okback to my enclosure 🍖#not tagging this bc wip#might delete later too yeyyeyyyeyyy#actually i shoujls take a nap^_^^_^^_^^_^ yeyeyeyeye<- needs to do a lot of things and hasn't started none ohohoeheheheehee#actually i don't think you will see this finished after a long time so say byebyeee i will show another thing when i havetime and feel well#imkijnd of losing my mind but its okkk a nap can fix me everything is sofunnyyy
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Oh, just me, my brain fog, and this damned ad layout I've been having an intense staredown with. Nothing much.
#cy's spamming againnnnn#me and sleep deprivation do not go well together#i'll most likely be awake for 20 hours today#i've had two 10-minute naps that hurt my back and neck#hope ya'll have a nice day tho#ack—
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A hero is only as good as his weapons, so make ‘em count (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Another idea smol and I are working on together :D Been a bit!#She came up with the concept on this one and I fell in love with it <3 She's very cool hehe#If you're familiar with the game Minit it has Something of a similar premise - not the same strict time pressure but yes on the time loop#Y'ever notice how in some games it seems like the wandering trader or traveling shop seems to come upon you rather than the other way around#:3c Hm ♪ Wonder how they'd know where you were gonna be :3c#The crux is that you play as the weapons shop owner and you're responsible for supplying the hero and his team with weapons!#Except the BBEG has gotten wise to how the hero keeps defeating him and it sick of it - so the shop owner is cursed to be in a time loop!#I love the concept <3 It sounds so fun to play in and there's still plenty of room to think about the mechanics and how it would be played#As well as the art design! :D#We threw around some character concepts - she's really into Baldur's Gate 3 at the moment so of course they had some influence in hers hehe#Only got the starting party for the moment but there are plans for a full team of 4 plus the shopkeep >:3c And various other NPCs lol#A lot of the gameplay would basically boil down to being a bartering simulator hehe ♪#Very RPG trade-this-for-that style quests - under a time limit! Hehe#Since it's the type of game that pretty much requires replaying sections time-loop-style it's all about how quickly you can trial and error#And then hightail it to where you need to be lol#I think we were also tossing around a nap mechanic to skip right to the time loop reset in case you mess up a run haha#I gotta get back to Majora's Mask at some point I swear#We still have a good bit of concept work to do on the art side of things - she's also been really into pixel art lately and I love pixel art#I also managed to pick up a full release of one of the RPGMakers :D So that's an exciting possibility!#I haven't learned most of its ins and outs yet but I do know About importing custom assets at the very least >:3c#Same with Novelty and I haven't done that yet either lol - all in due time! I hope!!
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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.
I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.
There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.
That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.
25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.
Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.
It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.
I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like
I dunno
Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.
I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?
All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.
I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.
#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day#but i could probably pull it off for brief stints#a week on a week off or something#get an extra two hours a day that way#and then of course there's my old go to#i could just stop eating or taking care of myself#lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else#and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out#in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble#i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time#but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it#on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much#maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in#if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds#god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me#i've been doing this so long now#feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year#and that was the first time too lmao#i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings#my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN#i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min#then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back#then make dinner for the family#then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day#then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower#and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm#that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious
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ABOVE ALL THINGS
SUFFERING,
GLORIFIED
#one of my fave shirts#went to a park today and it was so nice!#finished shooting my first roll of film <3#lyrics are from an unreleased song 'in hell there are no hands'#i want to start uploading more of my photography#i think i overdid it today#i'm in a lot more pain now#it was so fun though#such a nice day#my brain is scrambled so just imagine these things all connect together lol#me#did i ever make an outfit tag#i don't remember#oh well#southern gothic#the urge to tag in the modest fashion tags to start to filter out the terfs but also not wanting terfs to interact lol#big sign like !!! QUEER FORMER SEX WORKER I DRESS THIS WAY TO SPITE GOD NOT PLEASE HIM !!!#lmao#modest fashion#modest dress#if u dress modest and ur not a terf /swerf hiiiiii <3#and just for the record i don't think dressing modestly for religious reasons is bad#far from it i think it's great do what you want & what you feel called to#i just think the idea that there's a moral biological imperative for ALL people/afab/women/etc is shitty to enforce#yk?#anyway these tags got away from me lol#i need to take a nap
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.
#most days coding isn’t fun anymore but occasionally somebody does something rlly well and all the pieces come together and it’s like#a magicians flourish#an expert craftsman showing you how something is done and you can do it too#Augh. And then I have the feeling. I want to be good at this#Desire……. That part of me hasn’t died yet#bytebun rambles#I want to be good at this!!!!!!!#I like making things and I like doing it well……..#OTL#working dog that needs some antidepressants and a nap#to delete
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"not sure if that's a job for me tho, i was excited after my first day but now i am more like... confused? people are nice, which is great, but it's not exactly the kind of job i was looking for so idk. i may start looking for something else if nothing changes (i promised myself i'm not gonna stay if i don't like it cause i usually make this mistake & then i'm stuck in a place i fucking hate for 2+ years, not this time tho)."
*this is a different anon!* That's unfortunate, I'm sorry about that. It's okay if you don't want to or even can't, but may I ask what industry? And, is it retail again? I'm still on the job hunt myself, and I'm hoping to have a new job before May 31, 2024. That definitely sounds realistic, however, I need the hiring manager to believe in ME and give me a chance. I swear they won't regret hiring me. Ha. Anyways... is there an industry you're genuinely interested in and want to learn more about? Management skills are never a bad thing to pick up on and to your résumé! That's technically retail, but whatever, lol. I hope you're doing well!
(Once a BIG update (or more) happens to me, then I'll direct message you, by the way.)
~🌼
omg, hi! it's been a while! 🥺
so i don't want to give you any details, but long story short, it's an office job but you still have to talk to customers, just not face to face but through phone calls. i don't think it's right for me tho & i'm ready to quit any day now 😂 i don't even want any specific career, i just... don't want to talk to them anymore because i fucking hate them (after my 7-year experience i definitely know i wasn't born to be a customer assistant, they make me want to kill myself, i'm a depressed piece of shit & i blame them for that a little bit). the only job i actually liked was my first, in a bookstore (i had amazing team & i was working with something i truly loved), i miss it every day. but i am also very interested in just making money to survive, you know. i just don't want to feel so stressed every time i go there & so far i really feel like i want to throw up when i wake up in the morning & i barely even sleep at night. it sucks. i'm just really tired & i want to cry.
#or maybe i just need a nap idk#my sleeping pills are not helping either so...#well i do have an option you know#i can just quit any minute#i have savings i can survive another month of searching#i guess i will make my decision after tomorrow#i just feel so lost at the moment#poppy get your fucking shit together jesus#i hope at least you are doing better#i'll be waiting for the update & keeping my fingers crossed ALWAYS#& thank you for the message that's so sweet of you#sending hugs#daisy anon#i saved every letter you wrote me*
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I've been lot of playing Fire Emblem Fates recently.
I think I ship Kiragi and Dwyer now.
#personal thoughts#fire emblem#fire emblem fates#fe14#fe kiragi#fe dwyer#it's made a lot funnier by the fact that corrin is always kiragi's mum when i play. always without a fail#so in a way dwyer is dutybound to be kiragi's retainer in that scenario. but it doesn't matter that much at the end#it just makes their already existing dynamic funnier to me. dwyer would likely make it very clear that he's doing all of this bc he wants t#& not bc of his dad is forcing him to or anything like that#tho it does make me imagine a scene in which these two are napping together & jakob finds them & starts ranting to dwyer#only for him to go 'idgf dad' & kiss kiragi or do some other romantic gesture#then jakob goes 'i meant sleeping on the job son' & dwyer goes 'oh. still idgf dad'#might as well make my shippy thoughts everyone's problem
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If ur waiting on a reply from me (and i know a couple of folks are rn) thank u for ur patience in waiting. I'm working on typing things up but today is just. idk how to put it but i keep winding up grumpy and my replies i feel are suffering for it. Pls know i do wanna chat and exchange ideas, I'm just trying to make sure the Grumpasaurus Rex side of my brain that's v loud today isn't mucking them up before i send them 🫂🫂❤️❤️
#text post#like it's genuinely nothing just bad takes online some shitty messages in my inbox on here and reddit and not sleeping well at all#attempted a nap i woke up from like tenish minutes ago and it was all a realistic nightmare#in which ct house was somehow connected to nd condo & i kept getting caught on one side or the other at a time#unable to touch or talk to anyone until i was fully on either 'side' for a good while#made the flow of time feel fucked up and i fully expected this to have been a longer nap considering how time felt in there lol#but yeah. I'm trying and im v grateful to y'all waiting for being patient with me. thank u & i promise ill have my shit together soon#(aka might take an edible and just. idek. bake maybe? my brain isn't happy doing anything rn but cookies are always good)#have a potential call with mum later i need to prep for#...worst case scenario i try to nap a bit more and hope i don't wind up stuck in that weird hallway from my dream again#worst bit was the nd cats and my mum and ct cats and Housemate on each side both trying to get me out but couldn't#really don't wanna feel as stuck as i did in this dream but hey!! maybe it's trying to tell me something lmao#not entirely sure what but that's nothing new for me lmao#normally wouldn't post like this for replies but everyone waiting follows me so i figure this reaches everyone easily enough#& hopefully is better/more useful than me going radio silent bc my brain is being a baby abt shit that means nothing lmao
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cards I got for tonight: Love, History, The Maiden :')
#every time the love card pops up in a reading it just warms my whole heart#I like the history and the maiden together it seems like an interesting pair. something that's long gone and forgotten#the meaning of 'calamity. immutable'--vs a card for youth and joy and passion 'innocence. exuberance. cupcakes--'#the promise of so much love and warmth at the start#only for it to all come crashing down#and yet return to that same place of comforting joy in the end#the different themes of molly and jester's decks really do mesh so well together even though they're very different#anyway#nap time--
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i need to move in into his attic like the raccoon that i am .
#🌿 | nathan#THATS SO COZY ?!.):€#YOU DO RESEAECH **THERE**?!!?~|#my guy i would take the biggest fucking nap there WOAH#and this is why we fit so well together lolza#ALSO THAZS MY PIC !!;?:)3&/#im playing around a lot w photomode#🦝 ; buck.txt
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