#WE DEPEND ON YOU. / ic
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HELLO!! I was wondering if I could perhaps roleplay as this character in ur HABIT blog!! (Kris/Limb)
Potentially, please tell me her origin series if we have not watched it, we will then will report back :)
#the clowns are rambling instead of dancing#answered asks#ask response#we know the concept of limb is by wood tribetwelve tho :)#and depends on how you want ic relationship bases to be because chances are obs is not going to know her (at least well)
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Pre-Andrias amphibian history is so mysterious and goes so far back... so Valeriana is the last of her order but also, she invented the music box. Her order used to study the stones and temples, and the temples are used to extract the power from the users and store them back in the gems. This implies there were several previous users, and that Valeriana interrupted the cycle, discovered interdimensional travel and began the age of conquest. It's unclear whether of not this happened during the Leviathan dynasty. BUT ALSO: if Valeriana's order studied the temples, it must mean they were already there long before they came to be, and that they have mysterious origins too. There's so much obscure lore, you wouldn't even know the stones and the temples go so far back if you didn't know from the Journal that Valeriana invented the box and that she's actually an undead ghost.
And I don't even remember how the olms fit into this! Both the temples and Valeriana's gear have olm motifs so they were probably venerated and respected. I'll update when I rewatch S3.
So in order of how old things are and when the events happen...
Guardian > Stones > Stone users > Temples > Valeriana's order > Music Box > Age of Conquest > Box going missing (ca. 1020 CE in northern europe, in the """viking age""") > Technological and economic decline. Bunch of wars took place during this time. Written records lost. Instauration of the caste system > Some little lesbian alien mad her parents are making her move away or something idk
What I can't place yet is: the rise of the Leviathans to power, the origin of the prophecy, when the Core was first created and anything and everything to do with the olms. Might update later.
#amphibia meta#amphibia lore#amphibia worldbuilding#my posts#i need the artbook to come with lore so bad#gosh all the religious and symbolic worldbuilding i could make up with this information#the fanfic will be LEGENDARY#there's also the question of whether or not the Leviathans invented the core at all. or if they appropriated it#from a previous dynasty#I wanna say the Core was made during the Age of Conquest but it doesn't depend on the stones' power like most technology back then#so it COULD be older. maybe.#though then again. some technology could survive despite the missing stones. like frobo#if we assume frobo only came to be thanks to the powers of the stones being back in Amphibia#but that would imply he might die now that it's all gone :(#also my headcanon is that andrias made archeology illegal. every time someone tries to dig something up he assasinates them#like. no little scholar. you don't need to reconstruct ancient people's way of living by studying their 10000yo trash.#why would you think that? what a funny idea lol#of course. archeology as a discipline doesn't even exist#paleontologists are on thin fucking ice
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I love the scene in naruto shippuden where Kakashi says "I'm really starting to take a liking to you" not because naruto freaks the hell out but because this implies that for the other like 3 and a half years Naruro knew Kakashi and the 16 years Kakshi knew of Naruto Kakshi just did not like Naruto at all.
#Fic where Kakashi is left to take care of Naruto but instead of treating him better than he was I'm og Kakashi just neglects him#He's 14 and he just lost like everything and the loss of the last two things he had left was basically Narutos fault if you think about it#But see Naruto is a little baby and he loves Kakashi so it's just Narutos undying affection and Kakashi doing the bare minimum#He waves colourful things in front of narutos face for a few minutes then just dips for a few weeks#Left a ryo behind but kakashi is an idiot and left all of his money out which is a lot cause he never really buys anything for himself#Or Naruto#So Naruto takes like all of it for food but then gets robbed by assholes on the street bc of course he does#Kakashi then has to kill some people to get his money back. Ugh!#Kakashis not really even angry at things anymore he's just tired and depressed and that makes Naruto feel even worse#At some point when Naruto is ten he pulls like this massive massive prank to get Kakashis attention#And it's the first time kakashi has felt emotions in forever meaning he got super fucking pissed off#But then after realising he emoted he was like “:0” and then he was in a good mood so he hit naruto over the head#Then they ate some ice-cream together#It starts of really really toxic and horrible and ends toxic and co-dependent#But you don't but you don't notice because it's so much of a better situation than we started at#Naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto uzumaki#Kakashi hatake#And yes#Kakashi does in fact get a hug#He just doesn't want it#kakashi sensei#Theyre probably fine by the time Naruto comes back to konoha w/ Jiriya#Moldy-flowers
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New school attendance rules (that are stupid as fuck) being published has me learning people didn't even know that the UK fines people for their kids not being in school unauthorized???
#i...i....yeah to anyone who didnt know#we do#this country is obsessed with school attendance#if its not authorized your fucked#hell even if authorized aka your carer did phone for you and shit#depending how many you have it can stack up and they'll get sus#and you'll get in trouble even then#like the new rules alone are increasingly making it clear if your not authorized you can get bankrupt depending how many kids you have#which yes makes the new rules abelist as fuck and also only rich people will survive it#hell if the schools cant fine you they'll at least make you feel shame#as my school had a form system where at the end of each term a form will be rewarded for the best attendance#so rip if you were the fucker that took i dunno one or two days off for sickness or whatever#because you just costed your form room the award and the classmates know it and will look at you#source: me who had to take sick days off#hell snow days you wont free at my school#my roads and pathways were iced so i couldnt go in#but noooo according to my head of year i should have tried cause he hunted all of us who took the day off and interograted us#and if our excuse wasnt good enough for him we were told off#and they'd literally encourage you to only take sick day off if your throwing up#my head of year literally said he dont care if we got a headache or small cough or sniffle just come in#...huh wonder how they did during 2020...#but yeah attendance in the UK in terms of schools is fucking strict#(also if your curious they did send us home if we were bad-bad#i got sent home once i think??? i dont recall much of that school for my own sanity#but i badly burnt my hand in DT via a soldering iron and i had to go home and the doctors and return to school#with a hand i couldnt write with which was my writing hand so um#yeah i couldnt work much until it recovered...well my english teacher forced me to write with my non-writing hand but#and one girl got sent home for throwing up on the stairs#and another from my limited memories for falling down the stairs which uh were stone in a way so um#(i fell up those stairs somehow once...didnt get sent home but i missed english so) they had no choices sometimes)
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work is not happy with me.
#i am being chewed out as we speak.#when will they learn that i do not listen when they talk to me like this.#i am higher than you. you depend on me#you yell at your god like this. this is how you treat your deity? try again.#ic
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I don’t think I can remember the last day I wasn’t high the whole time
#smoking everyday and then being surprised when you feel like shit when you aren’t high#it’s a huge crutch and excuse for my mental health but like slay I guess cause I don’t feel like killing my self most of time so like we#stay winning I guess#I should take a small weed break before my trip so I’m not as depended bc I don’t wanna be smoking weed while driving just bc it’s something#to do. that’s what cigs are for. and eating ice cubes. and eating in general. and scream singing sobbing#anyways yeah I think maybe I’ll#smoke this weekend and then not smoke or smoke way less next week#found this in my drafts from a couple days ago when my WiFi wasn’t working#anyways not doing this lol#just hoping for the best and starting to take my actual prescribed meds as well as weed and hopefully I won’t be so brain foggy#I say as if I don’t also have a prescription for weed lmao medical card swag
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no but seriously y'all do know that whether you headcanon ice as having supported maverick's decision to pull bradley's papers or as being against it BOTH of these scenarios are 100% your headcanons with ZERO basis in the actual canon and
#like anything you say about this is completely made up#and since for most of you which of these two hcs you choose depends on if you like maverick or rooster better#and has fuckall to do with actually wanting to explore ice as a character and his motivations#your hc isn't more valid than anyone else's#especially when you have to make up a ton of stuff that never actually happened along the way to support it#here's what we know in canon about ice with respect to that stuff:#ice was sorry about goose 's death but wasn't driven guilty to the point of irrationality over it#ice and rooster have zero interactions and there is no evidence that they personally ever knew each other#there is zero evidence that ice was ever involved at all in his or carole's life#do with that as you may#or don't#but whatever you make of it unless it stick to these facts is completely your hc#and therefore cannot be more right or wrong than anyone else's hc#i will say this though#it's extremely obvious when most of the times your hcs regarding ice have nothing to do with ice#and everything to do with how much you like or don't like maverick#and whether you want to prop maverick up or tear him down#in which case your hcs may not be wrong but are definitely invalid bye#and worse they're boring#and its always the people who are either projecting (their perception of) maverick's guilt over goose on ice#or justifying rooster's entirely disproportionate anger through ice who think they're doing the best character analysis of ice#and then fighting about it like im sorry you're both boring lol#iceman kazansky#top gun: maverick
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#smile at people #a majority of the time people will smile back and you win Human Points #learn how to compliment people and do it often #Normalcy is a perspective that changes depending on who is looking but kindness and a positive attitude shows the same view to everyone #basic politeness with a little extra effort is amazingly difficult at times #but it goes MILES
Genuinely good advice from @aroace-get-out-of-my-face
can someone recommend some beginner normal behaviors for someone looking to become normal
#life advice#autistic stuff#and anybody who finds this hard which is pretty much everybody#would also add learning the functions and skills of small talk#yes i know i know it's evil it's horrible when nobody told you how#but get this: it's just social glue#it's the human equivalent of hyenas lowing to each other or crows clicking to each other#it's just “hello i exist you are in my social circle i accept your existence and please know that i don't hate you”#and it's got some fairly basic first-level rules too!! You intiate the greeting (Hello/hi/howdy/good evening/etc depending on context – yea#that dependency can be a bit trickier to learn but if you think of social structure it helps; e.g. this human supposedly ranks higher than#me and has not spoken to me before so i need to say “hello” instead of “wassup”)#and then you say “how are you?” or the less formal “how's it going?” (meaning: *I am initiating small talk*) and they will say “I'm alright#you?” (meaning: *I accept your move to small talk and value your input*) and you say “I'm okay” (NOT meaning: I am actually okay – but#rather *I appreciate your acceptance of my move to small talk and respect you so I will complete this ritual*)#in some cases people will go into a bit more detail – typically in response to “How's it going?” or “How've you been?” rather than “How are#you?” (in less formal contexts e.g. between friends) – and say something like#“Yeah I'm doing alright; had a lot of stuff on this week so I'm looking forward to a break!” and this is where you employ your Sympathetic#Vocalisation (“mm yeah” (solemn. nod head towards them at medium speed a couple of times)#BUT. you do not dwell on this. they will probably ask you “what about you?” afterwards and here you say something like “I'm good; I've got#some pasta I'm looking forward to eating tonight” (or any other bland mundane thing about your life. note: you CAN lie. not extravagantly#but you can say “Yeah I'm great; been busy too but gotta stay on your toes eh?” when you actually want to collapse right now#generally people react well to either positivity or wry humour at your negative experience#like: either bring out something that's a minor good thing and refer to that (see example character's “looking forward to a break”)#or if that's too fake for you you can mention something you're struggling with light heartedly (see: staying on toes example)#generally though people do not want to actually discuss each other's lives here. just social glue! just the “I acknowledge you and wish to#instigate/reaffirm a social bond in this situation so we can then get onto the real stuff or leave with stronger social connections”#anyway that's like the first basic step it; does tend to get a little less straight forward the further you go in#but I've found it a great skill to learn#and once I realised it was in fact a skill just like ice skating or acting or writing i was like ahah! i can learn this!!#and show off like a kid on a skateboard every single day!
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ive been reading too much ace attorney fanfic and its sort of pissing me off, apparently im a bit of a snob. if i had more time id be very tempted to write a case fic which goes uncharacteristically into legal details and technical stuff, but make it actually accurrate to the correct system
#swear the majority of these people havent even heard of a civil law system#not that i know a lot about it but thatd be the point id actually research it#not that its really tonally accurrate with the original but its a fanfic and tbh i actually enjoy that sort just not when its wtong#even though its not accurate to the original it still feels sort of realistic and easier to relate to them as people when they#do normal boring everyday stuff everyone does like go to the shops or take the bus#even though detailed descriptions are boring i like when theres i bit and technical legal or beurocratic stuff feels similar#is a bit difficult when you dont even know what city but make that generic i suppose#i always assumed it was a smaller city from the anime and what we see but i cant actually tell#anyway id even want to write it to just put normal everyday life stuff in that everyone gets wrong and i already know about#that one person who apparently hadnt heard of bike racks? have you ever visited a city in your life?#how health insureance works. ie nationalised and mandatory.#the existence of busses and trains and possibly trams depending. though lots of cities dont have any local trains even#and i hate cash only busses#and no ic card trains come on#not like im from a country where thats the norm for almost all trains or anything. but id got used to not having to buy tickets all the time#well at least theres no cash only busses here thats one thing the uk has. though actually i think i prefer when its cash but cheaper
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I want to make an Elder Scrolls character based on my last D&D character but it's. Very hard. Because she was such a unique and weird character that it is hard to translate that into an in-game character (info on her and my thoughts about how I could adapt her into an es character below the cut).
Her name was Eva "Halfblood" Akannathi, and she was a half-orc, half-goliath 18 year old bard (college of valor). But she was kind of an unconventional bard. She hated lying and dishonesty. Like, really loathed it. This girl has not lied once in the 18 years she's been alive and does not plan on ever doing it. She also considers illusions to be a form of lying.
This made playing through the campaign very interesting. At certain points of the campaign, she had to roll wisdom saving throws whenever her party had to lie to someone. If she succeeded, she managed to keep quiet. If she failed, she would blurt out the truth. She also disliked whenever her party members lied about anything. It didn't matter if it was for the greater good. She would rather die than tell a lie, and she wishes others felt the same.
Now, adapting her into a playable Elder Scrolls character is a bit tricky. You would think going with the Bard class would be the obvious choice. However, one of their major skills is Illusion, and given Eva's stubborn dislike of illusion, that's not exactly going to work. I could, of course, make a custom class, but I have so much anxiety about getting custom classes exactly right that it ends up just stressing me out whenever I try to create a custom class. But, maybe I'll try a custom class. That would probably be the best.
The race is a little less tricky, but there's still that "damn, I wish I could choose two races." Her in-game race would probably be orc, since that's the race she looks the most like. In my head, though, I'm thinking she would be half-orc, half-nord. I mean, D&D goliaths are resistant to cold damage and are tall, and Nords are basically the same, even if their coloration is different (goliaths have greyish skin and markings on their face, whereas Nords have white skin and no natural markings). What I really wish I could do is just take the cold resistance from Nords and just replace the Orc berserk thing with it because going berserk isn't really Eva's style lol (she's no barbarian!). But whatever, I suppose she can survive without her cold resistance.
It just really sucks because I loved playing her so much in D&D, and now that that campaign is over, I kinda miss her. But she's such a weird character that she's hard to play in any other setting.
#tesblr#d&d#I think maybe I just need some encouragement#I think it would be fun to play her in tes#I don't think I could play her in Morrowind unfortunately since the main quest requires at least one instance of lying#but I think every other tes game should be fine#I feel like Skyrim would probably be the closest to what our campaign had been#(we did Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden)#ANYWAY#yeah Eva was a funny character#fun fact I made her character because I was trying to think of the funniest race and class combination#at the time I only had access to the basic D&D races and classes/subclasses (created her on D&D Beyond)#so I went with the super strong race(s) paired with a support class known for talking their way out of combat#also fun fact she was raised by yetis after her father died up until she was 12 years old#when she was 12 her yeti parents left and never returned (she assumes they were killed by adventurers or something)#and she wandered around for a while until she eventually stumbled onto the roads in Ten-Towns#and my 1st character of that campaign (a drow/dark elf cleric of knowledge) found her#went 'oh you poor thing. come home with me I have an extra room in my apartment'#and yk. basically adopted her. unofficially.#they called each other 'roommate' but they very clearly had a mother/daughter relationship#my drow cleric actually ended up dying very early in the campaign (got insta-killed by a guy with an ice sword)#Eva joined the party after that because her dream was to go on adventures and Yllalana trusted her party to keep Eva safe#Eva survived the campaign btw. unfortunately when they defeated Auril she got cursed#the curse was actually essentially ptsd. cold gives her horrific flashbacks#she ended up moving south to Neverwinter and works at a local tavern there singing songs and telling stories of her adventures#oh she also ended up losing an eye near the end of the campaign#however after the campaign ended our tiefling undead warlock gave her a magic eye to replace her old one#it's a mood eye. changes colors depending on her mood. super cool#anyway yeah I really miss her. she was a very fun character to play
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» LAYLA, the burned portrait.
@ruinswandered ( lachlan fletcher. )
SHE'S STARING. IT TAKES HER A MOMENT TO REALIZE THIS. layla sits alone at a windowside table, late afternoon light threading through the loose red waves around her head and shoulders. THE OWLERY is a relatively new coffee shop, so the business has been fast and steady in its first month. she has made it a frequent haunt for the thrill of observing an ever-shifting tide of new faces. this is always how it starts: she skims the periphery, searching for interesting faces and the promise of layered hearts to intercept, pick apart, and ultimately break.
one among the bustling crowd stands out from the droll and predictable rest. calloused hands, a half-hidden scar upon the skull, and perhaps most interestingly, the body language of a warrior. in all of her decades—running on one hundred and fifty years now, though her appearance and mental maturity barely crest twenty-five—layla has not seen someone carry themselves like that in a very long time. consequently, she catches herself staring.
when the stranger's eyes find hers, she holds his gaze for a very long moment. steam rises from her untouched coffee cup. if lachlan's ability to sense supernatural creatures extends as far as her table, then he may be able to pick up on the presence of a selkie.
#ic.#ruinswandered#layla threads.#{ u gave her the choice and she immediately went with the younger one who has memory issues. classic }#{ gaslight gatekeep girlboss }#{ not that she Knows that yet of course but her muse was like. eyes emoji eyes emoji eyes emoji }#{ please let me know at any time if she makes you uncomfortable and i will dial her secret rancidness back however much u would like!!! <3#{ depending on what we want for the plot; she could either be The Worst or potentially redeemable and just very fucked up and sad KJSHDKJS#{ anyways sorry for rambling! let me know if any of this doesnt work or is inaccurate for lachlan! }
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#I read OP’s tags and this ISN’T about#the silmarillion#??! [tags via tanoraqui]
XD I'd read a bunch of ASoIaF fics and hang out in Batcest circles, but I party made it because I knew there had to be other fandoms it fit too. I haven't read the Silmarillion but I honestly love how many people have been tagging it with that!
Fandom wank over what constitutes incest is OUT fandom wank over what constitutes kinslaying is IN.
#fandom#fandom wank#incest in fiction#kinslaying in fiction#Lord of the Rings#because I don't have a dedicated Silm tag I mostly know it through fandom osmosis#A Song of Ice and Fire#Batfam#listen if Cass didn't KNOW Lady Shiva was her mom when she agreed to the deathmatch-#or how about Jason arguably dying and being resurrected again when Bruce bataranged his throat-#is Bruce a kinslayer??? yes no maybe??? depends on the universe???#Lannister twincest is a big deal because Cersei's committing treason by thwarting the kingly line of succession#HOWEVER it's also stated her kids would be in danger of execution for the Five considering them abominations#and we get the impression Stannis cares about that part#BUT THEN STANNIS HAS HIS BABY BROTHER ASSASSINATED#he didn't carry out the act itself but he had to give his blood for the magic and presumably approve the action#so uh buddy Stannis dude claimant to the throne and bitchy about it#ARE YOU A KINSLAYER AND THUS DID COMMITTED AN ABOMINATION by in universe standards YOURSELF OR NOT???
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i get why neuvillette is such a water fan, i get him. i love water it is the beverage of all time... its my go to drink most of the time, theres nothing like a cold glass of water
i would love to water taste with neuvillette honestly, i think it would be interesting to taste water from each region of teyvat and see how different they are. idk. water enjoyer to water enjoyer conversation
#can you tell i just had a really good glass of water#mm ice cold water...#genshin impact#i remember when my friend told me in elementary school that she didnt like water and i couldnt comprehend that someone just. wouldnt like it#same with those people that can only drink flavored water like. nothing wrong with that of course!! as long as youre drinking water the form#doesnt matter. i just cant understand not liking plain water#i mean. some water is not very good tasting. tap water is ok but it depends on the location i think#also dasani. i think we can all agree dasani tastes like shit#arrowhead was always my preferred bottled water but crystal geyser is a good 2nd place#anyways. mm water
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I think we as a society need to be reminded how good the original Powerpuff Girls was. Here's some of my favorite things about it:
the fight scenes had a level of punchiness and impact that was rare for cartoons of the nineties, and fight scenes that were way better than what one would expect from a comedy
The character writing is so good that a large portion of the show's most iconic episodes consist of just showing how the girls' personalities react to different scenarios, for example in one episode the girls take turns recapping a fight that had just happened, and the tone and art style of the flashback changes depending on whose telling the story
One of the recurring extras is a talking dog that goes about it's day like a normal human
Each girl has mostly the same powers with one special ability that sets them apart. Blossom has ice breath. Bubbles can speak to squirrels and is also fluent in Spanish. Buttercup can curl her tongue.
while the majority of the show is lighthearted comedy sometimes it'll just decide to be nightmareworld for an episode and i think thats pretty cool
The show utilizes a blend of classic upa linework and sixties art deco shapism to create a visual style that is utterly timeless. If the majority of the show wasn't cell animated you would not be able to guess when it came out
The main villain's speaking patterns were directly inspired by The Super Dictionary. AKA, the same book that brought us this:
You can tell.
In the season one finale, the girls fight a giant monster using a mech suit. During the fight, there is a sequence that is literally just 20 uninterrupted seconds of an absurd amount of missiles coming out of every possible orifice of the robot. And then they miss.
There was an anime adaptation made in the 2000's and its actually pretty good, like it does take a lot of creative liberties but its clear that the people making it understood the spirit of the original show and were just adapting it to reflect japanese pop culture in the same way the og show reflected american pop culture.
The show had an insanely kickass soundtrack consisting of early techno so clean it's kind of shocking that it was made in the late nineties and not the early 2010's pre-dubstep era
satan is there and he serves cunt
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good morning to hockey player! bakugo katsuki only.
not talking about the bakugo katsuki on ice though. i’m talking about him after his games, hair damp & sweat sticky despite the biting chill of the arena, copper in his molars & iron in his throat. games rarely go smoothly for the left wing—he has a bad habit of ramming players into boards & spitting on them for good measure when they get on his nerves. you know you shouldn’t, but you’re no better than a fangirl so you can’t help but find it attractive.
“hey you,”
katsuki bakugo trudges off the rink with sweat-soaked skin. he’s red-cheeked & bleary eyed & he keeps said eyes on the ground like his life depends on it. he trudges past you, shoulder bumping into yours as he wobbles past.
you bite back a grin at the sight of the grumpy forward. “gonna ram into me next ?”
“annoying,” he mumbles, turning back to pull you into him with a swift tug. you nearly topple over him but he’s quick to steady you, large gloved hands snaking around the curve of your waist & the front of your throat.
“eugh, you smell like sweat—“
bakugo crashes his lips into yours. he’s always rough after games, taking out his frustration on you with teeth gnawing your lips & tongue licking your canines. gloved hands glide from your neck to your jaw before his left hand sinks just to rise up your shirt, tugging at the clasp of your bra while you grunt between his lips.
“mmf, kats—“
“number 49! no pda on the pitch !”
katsuki releases your lips with a grumble. he glares in the direction of his coach, lips glossy & strawberry sticky from your chapstick, saliva dribbling down his chin.
“annoying.”
“i love how diverse your vocabulary is.”
he turns to you with a similar scowl. “shut up. car.”
“can we communicate in full sentences please ?”
he lets out an exaggerated sigh, head thrown back & gloved fingers pinching his nose. it’s taking everything in you not to giggle, especially since he’s your only ride home.
“you are so—“ katsuki grunts before dipping his head to kiss your neck, “fucking—“ his lips meet your jaw, “annoying.”
he settles his head in the crook of your neck, body limp & heavy breathing,
“i love you too,”
“shut up.”
© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload
#✷ ─ [ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 ]#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo mha#mha bakugo x reader#bakugo x reader#mha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugo katuski#bnha bakugou#bnha#mha#my hero#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia fanfiction#my hero academia#my hero acedamia#boku no hero x reader#boku no hero#boku no hero fanfic#boku no hero academia#boku no hero acedamia#fanfiction#x reader#anime#manga#mha fanfiction
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Once again tumblr is silencing my voice by not letting me add more than 30 tags. Okay the rest of what I was going to say is that if you gave him an assignment that was simple and out of the way enough, even upstairs, he might be able to stick it out for a couple hours. Another factor that determines how long that might be is where this is happening. Is he at Brinkley Court? Then Aunt Dahlia and the other servants (whom he seems to be on good terms with) will cover for him. No matter what he screws up, “oh, that’s Barry! He’s just new here!” Jeeves might be able to work something similar at a different manor house (presuming Bertie’s face isn’t already known there) if he’s on good terms with any of the servants there. They might agree to take Bertie under their wing as a favor to Jeeves. It also depends on whether Jeeves himself is there to help him, whether they’re working in the same area of the house, and if they’re able to inconspicuously pull each other aside to confer.
In conclusion: can’t answer question, too many variables
#this is tough because i kind of have to add some nuance#regarding the wording of the question itself#the question being asked is not how long he would last before getting found out#it’s how long he would last before saying/doing something inappropriate#the answer to the latter question is ‘within the hour’#because bertie’s model for what a proper servant is supposed to act like is jeeves. and jeeves says and does inappropriate things constantly#jeeves is not normal. he is not passing on good servantly practices. bertie does not understand that his own willingness to listen to#long lectures about pearls and shakespeare is not universal to all employers#however if the implicit question is how long before he’s caught that could vary a lot more depending on a range of factors#first of all as some have already noted i think bertie is smarter than he presents himself as#in the show he can’t make tea even with a manual but i don’t believe there’s any such scene in the books#he often is very vague about the details of jeeves’ valeting activities which could be taken to mean he doesn’t understand them#but could also just be conservation of detail or simply not seeing it as that important#everyone at this time knows what a valet does - we don’t need a detailed word picture about it#bertie has every detail of jeeves’ facial expressions and body language memorized#that speaks to many hours of staring at him and observing him#i believe bertie has spent enough time watching jeeves to grasp the basic theory of much of what he does#he would perform the task of ironing a shirt terribly but he COULD perform it#he understands the basic steps of 1. lay shirt on ironing board 2. pour water into iron 3. plug in iron#(electric steam irons were invented 1926 they could have had one from very good jeeves onwards)#and the end result would be a shirt with creases in all the wrong places that has nevertheless clearly been pressed with an iron#i think he could pass for a BAD servant for at least the better part of a day#as prev said he has better chances downstairs#you could hand him a dirty pot and a scouring pad and some soap and tell him to scrub it#upstairs he’s on very thin ice. again like prev said he has an expressive face and no filter#however i’m going to say that if he REALLY put everything he had into it he might be able to last an hour or two. again because of how much#he’s observed jeeves. if he kept mentally repeating ‘stuffed frog face. stuffed frog face stuffed frog face’ (there is a chance he would#eventually accidentally say this out loud) he could probably do a just plausible enough impression of a very distracted spaced out servant#who probably jumps every time someone speaks to him#if he DOES have to speak he knows a few scripted lines from jeeves but again jeeves is not the best model for talking like a proper servant
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