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fortheloveofwonderland · 2 years ago

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Summer Heat | S.R

Summary - By orders or the director, the BAU must undertake a team building hike in the woods. You and Spencer have never gotten along and not even the summer heat seems to be able thaw the ice that exists between you. But then you get yourselves lost and while waiting for rescue, you have to find a way to pass the time…

A/N - set somewhere in the realms of s15. This is my second entry for @imagining-in-the-margins Summer Sunshine Challenge.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / BAU Fem! Reader

Warnings - enemies to lovers, Spencer’s awkward info dumping about hiking related deaths, swearing, public urination, talks of bladder control techniques, treating wounds, Spencer is touch starved, mentions of prison and Cat Adams and Max, Spencer and reader are oblivious idiots, make outs, handjob, fingering, public sexual acts, interruptions.

WC - 8.9k

The potency of the early afternoon Virginia sun infiltrating the towering thicket of loblolly pines caressed your skin, peppering its honeyed kisses across your flesh.

The warm earthy scents combined with the aromas of moss and the sharp, almost sweet notes of the pine trees engulfed you in a blanket of mother earth's creation.

You hummed to yourself as you trekked up a grassy incline barely registering the weight of your oversized pack on your back. You were no stranger to hiking or the heat and you were barely phased by it.

Unlike some people.

Doctor Spencer Reid was equipped for neither physical activity or the weather, despite the fact he grew up in desert climates. You could hear him huffing and puffing behind you as he struggled up even the smallest of hills.

You reached the brow and turned back to him with your hands on your hips. His face was flushed red from a combination of the sun and exertion. His hair stuck to his sweaty brow and his chest heaved with his breaths.

When he reached you, he doubled over, hands on his knees and he fought to catch his breath. You rolled your eyes and waited somewhat impatiently for him to stand again.

“Are you really this out of shape?” You scoffed.

He glanced up through a curtain of hair, puffing uneven breaths out between parted lips.

“Clearly.” He bit back.

It wasn’t a secret that the two of you didn’t exactly see eye to eye. You’d been with the team for almost a year now, but you and Spencer had never been close.

You’d gotten off on the wrong foot on your very first case. He’d spent almost all day on the phone to someone talking about his mother and you’d made a flippant comment about him being a mama's boy.

This led Spencer to launch into a rant about how his mother suffered from schizophrenia and altzeimers and how he was talking to her doctor because she was struggling to adjust to the new home he’d put her in DC.

He didn’t stop there. He continued to inform that she had been moved to DC because she wasn’t responding well to medication or her living facility in Vegas. He detailed how he’d moved her to the east coast and then gotten arrested in Mexico whilst trying to procure some experimental medicine.

He was seething by the time he told you that the same woman who’d gotten him arrested then had his mother kidnapped and almost killed.

He wasn’t as standoffish towards you as he used to be, his iciness thawing somewhat over time. But you were never going to be his favourite person. And as a result, he wasn’t yours either.

He forced himself to stand up straight, grabbing his canteen from where it was hanging from the strap of his backpack and taking a hefty sip before wiping the back of his hand over his mouth.

“It’s just a little hike. It’s not like you’re running a marathon or anything.” You clucked. “Can we continue now?”

“Just a little hike?” He groaned but started walking nonetheless. “It’s ten miles! And I have to do it with you.”

“Oh you poor, unfortunate soul.” You rolled your eyes as you fell in step with him.

The hike had been an idea which was floated down from the director. A team building exercise it had been dubbed. Although it wasn’t strictly mandatory it would look bad on those who didn’t participate.

So the BAU was spending a rare weekend off on a ten mile hike through the Shenandoah National Park followed by spending the night camping at the valley’s campground.

The Shenandoah National Park was more than five hundred miles of hiking trails extending along the Blue Ridge Mountains which included a section of long distance Appalachian Trail.

As someone who relished in the outdoors you’d always wanted the chance to visit Shenandoah but had never had the opportunity. And if you were paired up with anyone other than Spencer you might have been able to enjoy yourself.

Garcia had everyone draw straws in order to team up for the hike before you would all meet up later at the campground. You’d quite literally drawn the short straw with Spencer whilst Penelope was paired with Matt, Luke with JJ whilst Tara, Emily and Rossi made a group of three.

Spencer was the least athletic of the BAU members, the least outdoorsy, and so far had not stopped complaining.

You regarded your GPS as you walked to ensure you were headed in the right direction and the two of you fell back into silence.

Spencer breathed heavily even when the trail was flat, groaning a little every time you came to another incline.

You watched him out of the corner of your eye. It was a strange sight to behold, an academic who was far more comfortable indoors trekking through the woods like this. But what was even weirder was his outfit.

You’d never seen Spencer out of a shirt and slacks but he’d tried to at least look the part of a hiker today. He wore a thin black t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts which showed off his surprisingly toned legs. You didn’t even think he would own such an item of clothing.

He’d tried to look the part, probably only taking into account the heat and not the fact that he was leaving his legs exposed to bug bites and poison ivy. You wouldn’t be the one to tell him that though.

He’d ditched his satchel in lieu of a backpack but still had his trusty converse on with obligatory mismatched socks. You’d told him converse would be hard to hike in, their thin soles alone not conducive to walking on the forest floor.

Judging by the way he grimaced with nearly every step, he was starting to wish he’d listened to you.

You continued to walk in silence, watching the way Spencer’s wary eyes cast around through the thick tree trunks, ears pricking at every tiny sound.

“If you didn’t need to stop and catch your breath every five minutes we’d be back by now.” You couldn’t hold your tongue.

Spencer’s head turned towards you, brows furrowed.

“If we hadn’t taken such a hilly trail I wouldn’t need to keep stopping every five minutes. Did you know hikers use twenty eight percent more energy when traversing uneven terrain as opposed to flatter land?” He grabbed his canteen again and took another sip.

“Don’t come crying to me when you’ve run out of water.” You ignored his statistical rambling, increasing your gait a little.

“I won’t run out of water. I’ve calculated exactly how much I can afford to drink per hour when approximating how long it will take to walk ten miles.” He told you smugly.

“Of course you have.” You rolled your eyes, picking up your pace a little more.

“I can’t believe the bureau is making us do this. Do they not realise that hiking related deaths have been on the rise? They’ve increased as much as twenty one percent in recent years.” He grumbled as he tried to match your pace.

“Oh please, do tell me more.” You huffed and clearly Spencer either didn’t sense your sarcasm or he chose to ignore it because he did tell you more.

“Fifty percent of all hiking related deaths are caused by a fall or drowning. Men make up seventy two percent of those victims.” He pulled a face, focusing on the ground beneath him now he’d drawn his own attention to that fact.

“Well you for one are particularly clumsy.” You replied, your tone one of boredom.

“The other fifty percent are due to medical conditions such as heart attacks while engaging in physical activity.”

“What kind of physical activity?” You smirked suggestively, nudging him in his arm.

Spencer shook his head as your childish insinuation.

“Oh grow up, Y/L/N.” He spat.

“I’m just saying if there is a man out there so good in bed he can induce a heart attack, I wanna meet him.” You chuckled, seeing him roll his eyes in your peripheral vision.

“And I’m saying, hiking is inherently dangerous.”

“We chase serial killers for a living.” You huffed, checking your navigational device again.

“Which I am well versed in due to years of hands-on experience. I am not educated in outdoor pursuits.” He scoffed.

“You seem to know a lot about hiking related deaths.” You cast your gaze upwards towards the sun peaking between the high trees.

You could hear faint rhythmic buzzing from insects nearby, distance scuffling through the underbrush. Every now and again you picked up on various bird songs as they chirped from the high branches.

It made a smile blossom on your features, being one with nature, the summer air cleansing your lungs. The sounds and the smells were a comfort to you, taking you back to childhood memories camping and trekking through forests just like this with your family and fond recollections of years spent at summer camps.

Summer was without a doubt your favourite season. It elicited waves of nostalgia, taking you back to years spent at camp lake edges, eating ice cream hurriedly before it melted, giving you brain freeze.

It evoked images of burning campfires, the smell of the wood as it smouldered and the marshmallows roasting ready to be made into s’mores. Dulcet tones of an acoustic guitar played under the moonlight by Andy Duncan, your camp crush.

And later when he’d walked you back to your cabin and bestowed upon you your first ever kiss. Summer held some of your best memories and kindled your sentimental side.

You toyed with the GPS device in your hand as you walked, twigs and leaves crunching under foot. You didn’t realise Spencer was staring at you.

“You okay?” He spoke up, snapping you out of your reminiscing.

“Huh?” You glanced at him sideways.

Spencer had a hint of amusement in his eyes as he looked at you, something you’d never seen on him before, not directed towards you anyway.

“You look awfully wistful.” He shrugged.

“I just love summer I guess.” You mirrored his action.

“That makes sense.” Spencer turned away and looked back at the ground so he could avoid any potential trip hazards.

“What does that mean?” You swatted at a bug that landed on your arm.

“It means I’m not surprised you like summer, arguably the worst season.” He clucked.

“The worst? Oh please. Let me guess Doc, you’re a fan of gloomy winter? That would make sense.”

“Winter isn’t gloomy. Winter is oversized sweaters and hot cocoa by a fireplace. Huddled under blankets, the holidays. Sometimes even snow.” He told you as if you’d never heard of winter before. “But it’s not my favourite season. My favourite season is fall.”

“Hmm, dark and moody tones, nature dying. That tracks.” You spoke in a clipped tone.

“It’s not dying, it’s the start of rebirth. Shedding one layer so it can grow into something more than it ever thought it could be. It’s hauntingly beautiful really. And autumnal tones are stunning, all those earthy hues and streets littered in leaves. It makes me think of cinnamon and old books. Reading in the park with my mom when she was lucid and watching the leaves fall from the trees all around us.” It was Spencer’s turn to grow wistful.

You noticed his eyes glaze over slightly, his lip quirking up at the corner as he got lost in a fond childhood memory.

Spencer never talked to you about his youth or his mother after your initial falling out. He’d never been so candid with you before. As if he realised this, he shook his head, snapping himself out of his own revere.

“I, uh, didn’t mean to share all that.” He grumbled, grabbing his canteen and sipping the water just for something to do.

“I don’t mind.”

“Well I do.” He spat, slowing a little as the two of you neared another slight slope. “You’re the last person I want to talk to about my mother.”

You slowed with him until you both stopped. You folded your arms across your chest and glared at him.

“Reid, come on. It’s been a long time. I’ve apologised for calling you a mama’s boy multiple times. How could I have possibly known about your mother?” You shook your head.

Spencer’s jaw tightened, the muscle in the side of his face pulsing as he stared at you. You could all but see the cogs turning in his head as he fashioned a response.

“I don’t want your apologies, Y/L/N.” He huffed out.

He suddenly started walking again, ignoring how much his legs ached as he started up the small slope. You watched him go for a moment or two, feeling awash with anger.

You’d been looking forward to this hike, to an excuse to spend the weekend outdoors in the sun. You were not going to let Doctor Spencer Reid ruin that for you.

***

You carried on walking for another hour or so and not another word was spoken between you. It was tense and awkward and the sun was getting lower in the sky.

It wouldn’t be at all long before it started getting dark and you were growing a little concerned that you might not make it back before the sunset.

Spencer was clearly thinking the same as his brows had been furrowed for at least the past ten minutes and he was furiously chewing on his lip.

You halted in your tracks and pulled the GPS device back out. You stared down at it with a heavy frown, feeling the heat radiating off of Spencer as he drew closer to you. He peered at the GPS over your shoulder with a scrunched brow similar to your own.

“That says we’re only a few hundred yards from the camp. We should be able to see it.” Spencer looked up but all he saw was trees.

He turned a complete three hundred and sixty degrees but was met by trees as far as the eye could see.

“I think…I think it’s busted.” You groaned deeply, the sound reverberating out into the forest.

“No? No!” Spencer snatched it from your hand and shook it as if that would help matters. “Call someone! It’s going to get dark soon!”

You did not miss the blatant panic in his voice and if you didn’t feel the same you might have made a jab at him for it.

You reached for your phone in your pants pocket and unlocked the screen but groaned as soon as you did so.

“Fuck, I have no signal.”

“What?” Spencer scrabbled for his own device and huffed seeing he had no bars either. “We’re stuck out here?”

“Uh,” you glanced around. “Yes?”

“No, no. I am not dying out in the woods with you.” His tone was even more fraught.

“Trust me, you are not my first choice of death partner either.” You scoffed.

“If we’re out here long enough we could dehydrate! Or get hypothermia! I told you fifty percent of hiking related deaths are caused by medical conditions.” He was spiralling.

“How many hiking related deaths are caused by homicide?” You shot him an unamused look.

“Eighteen percent of 990 deaths at national parks were considered intentional. That includes suicide and homicide.”

“It was a rhetorical question.” You shook your head. “Maybe if we get to higher ground we can get some cell service.”

You started to walk but had no idea where you were going. You just had to hope you would find some higher ground.

Spencer followed you for lack of any better suggestions. He was sulking like a petulant child, clearly there was something on his mind as he huffed a few times as he trailed behind you.

You walked no more than a few minutes before his constant sighing and pouting caused you to stop again.

“What?” You spat. “What is it?”

Spencer frowned, halting in his tracks too. He was rolling his lip frantically between his teeth now and jiggling a little where he stood.

“I, uh,” his cheeks flushed red. “I need to use the bathroom.”

You closed your eyes for a second, pinched the bridge of your nose.

“I hate to break it to you but there are no bathrooms way out here.”

“It’s a figure of speech.” He grumbled. “I need to…pee.”

“Okay, well take your pick.” You motioned around to the copious trees surrounding you.

“I’m not a dog.” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry princess but it’s the best I can offer you.”

Spencer sucked in a deep breath, clenching his hands at his side. His leg was still jiggling with his need to urinate.

Spencer had developed an extremely strong bladder in his time in prison. The toilets on offer at Milburn were some of the most unhygienic he’d ever seen and as such had used them as little as humanly possible.

He’s trained himself to strengthen his bladder, exercising his pelvic floor in order to reduce the amount of times in a day he needed to use the bathroom.

As such during the hike he hadn’t been once while you had been multiple times. And now it had snuck up on him, coming out of nowhere and he wouldn’t be able to hold it long.

“Goddamn I hate nature.” He grumbled, glancing around for the largest looking tree he could use to shield himself from you.

You watched as he turned his back on you, hurrying off in one direction, further than was strictly necessary. You rolled your eyes with a shake of your head.

“Don’t worry, Doc I’m not looking to catch a glimpse.” You called after him. You heard a tut in response but he didn’t rise to it.

Spencer pushed forwards through some bushes and weaved in and out large pines before he found a tree trunk far enough away from you that he could have some semblance of peace while he expelled himself.

He made sure the trunk was blocking his body before he unbuttoned his cargo shorts and freed himself from his pants. Within a fraction of a second he was already urinating.

He let out a relieved sigh, holding the base of his cock in one hand for aiming purposes whilst leaning the other on the tree.

He closed his eyes as the blissful sensation of his bladder emptying consumed him. He didn’t relish doing this in the woods but he couldn’t deny how nice it felt.

It felt so good in fact he didn’t even notice the itching of his calves. He finished his business and tucked himself away before buttoning his shorts.

He swung his pack off his back and rummaged in the side pocket for a little bottle of hand sanitiser. He squirted a little in his palm and rubbed his hands together.

Returning it to his bag and putting it back on, he noticed a stinging in his left calf but ignored it as he walked back over to you. As he walked his other leg started to sting too.

When he reached you he subconsciously reached down and started scratching the backs of his bare legs with his blunt nails. You stared at him curiously.

“You okay?”

“Just a little itchy. Think I’ve been bitten or something.” He grumbled.

You walked around him and regarded his legs. His skin was flushed red with little raised blisters dotted up the backs of both calves.

“Reid,” you took his wrists and guided his hands away from his frantic scratching. “I think you’ve walked in poison ivy.”

He snapped back to his full height, eyes wide.

“What? No? Come on!” He moaned, glancing back at the rash forming. “Could this day get any worse?”

“I’ve got a first aid kit in my bag, I’m going to need to treat those. If you keep scratching they could scar. Maybe this will teach you for wearing shorts on a hike.” You put down your backpack and rummaged for the kit.

“It’s nearly eighty degrees.” He scoffed. “And I’ve never been hiking before.”

“Just shut up and stand still. Give me your water.” You knelt down on the ground behind him.

“You’ve got your own water.”

“I’m not wasting my water on cleaning your rash because you were the idiot who wore shorts. Give me your water.”

Spencer huffed out a breath to show he wasn’t happy but then he unlatched his canteen from his bag strap and passed it back to you. So much for his calculations.

You uncapped it and poured a little on the back of each leg causing him to shudder. You used a small hand towel you had in your backpack to dry them off before sanitising your hands.

You located the hydrocortisone ointment in the first aid kit and squeezed a little on the pads of your fingers. You cautiously started on his left leg, massaging the cream into the small blisters.

Spencer hissed and his legs buckled a little. He was silent though and allowed you to treat his rash. Soon you were moving onto the other leg and although it stung Spencer couldn’t deny he enjoyed the skin to skin contact.

As much as he hated to admit it, Spencer was touch starved. He hadn’t felt another set of hands on him in such a tender way since before prison.

He’d deliberately kept everyone at arms length since, not trusting himself or deeming himself worthy to be so close to another person.

He’d almost allowed himself to go there with Max, to succumb to the kind of pleasure he’d sorely missed. They’d kissed but ultimately that was the furthest he’d let himself go.

And somehow your benevolent touch was more intimate than kissing Max. Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking on his part.

He was sure you knew the real reason he was so brusque with you wasn’t because of what you’d call him during your first case. He was annoyed about it at first but he hadn’t held a grudge over it.

His curt behaviour towards you stemmed from his almost overwhelming crush on you. He’d pushed you away because when he met you he wasn’t ready to be close to someone. But in doing so he had inevitably sealed his own fate so that now when he might actually want to pursue something, you could barely stand him.

He tried to omit the feeling of your fingertips on his calves and focused his attention on the warbling of a nearby bird. Its song wasn’t the prettiest he’d ever heard but it had a certain cadence to it which he found oddly calming.

All too soon you were finished and your touch was gone, leaving Spencer feeling dissatisfied. You wrapped both of his rashes in gauze bandages but your fingers barely ghosted over his flesh again.

You stuffed the kit back away and pushed yourself to your feet, brushing the dirt off of your knees. Spencer looked down at his newly bandaged legs with a small frown.

“Do you have a change of clothes? Some pants perhaps?” You asked.

“No, for all my planning and research I did not think to bring long pants.” He shook his head at his oversight.

“I know we don’t always see eye to eye, but you could have asked me what you should bring. The whole team knows I’m big on hiking and camping.” You turned away from him, looking back out through the trees to try and ascertain the best direction to head. “I also could have told you that converse was a dumb choice for hiking. I can only imagine how much your feet hurt.”

Spencer made a noise that sounded somewhat like he agreed with you but didn’t want to say it out loud. You pulled out a piece of crumpled paper from your backpack and unfolded it, staring intently at it for a few moments.

Spencer came closer, glancing down at the wrinkled paper in your hands. It looked to be a topographic map of the area. Finally something Spencer understood about hiking.

“Didn’t know Garcia gave us those.” He spoke as you studied it.

“She didn’t. This isn’t my first rodeo, I would never have come out here without one.” You didn’t look at him.

“So I can read this but how do you work out where we are? There’s nothing but trees for miles.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Observation. We passed a small body of water about a mile back. I didn’t see it but I could hear it off to the west. And this incline,” you pointed in front of you. “Will help figure it out.”

“Okay, so a small body of water and an area where the contour lines aren’t too close as the hill isn’t too steep.” He nodded.

“Exactly.” You agreed. “And if my bearings are right I believe we’re facing north east.”

Spencer looked around briefly before a smile tugged at his lips.

“Because of the position of the sun.”

“Yep. And the moss.” You nodded towards the trees. “It’s not an exact science but in the whole moss tends to grow on the north side of trees in the northern hemisphere.”

Spencer watched while you ran your index finger along the map, trying to draw on everything you knew in order to get the two of you to higher ground.

“Wow I’m…I’m actually impressed.” He chuckled a little and you looked up at him with a frown.

“Are you patronising me?”

“What? No! I mean it. I’m really impressed.”

“Oh,” you looked back at the map. “Thanks.”

A minute or so later and you’d estimated a few miles worth of trail you believed the two of you to be on. If you were right you were still miles from the camp and wouldn’t make it there by nightfall.

Your plan was to find somewhere to get cell service so you could call the team and hopefully they could get park rangers out here to find you as they were the only ones equipped to traverse the forest after dark.

Spencer followed you while you kept the map in your hand. The two of you walked for another mile or so, by this point Spencer’s water rations were nearly depleted.

Eventually you stopped at the foot of a large, steep hill and Spencer looked up at it with a dubious expression.

“You want me to climb that?” He whined.

“Well we have a better chance of getting cell service when we have two phones.” You rolled your eyes, folding the map and slotting it in your pocket.

“Can’t you just take mine up there with you?” He pulled a face. “I really do not possess the physical prowess for this.”

“No kidding.” You scoffed. “But we’re in this together. I could get hurt or something, I need you for backup.”

Spencer groaned, pouting his bottom lip like a child.

“Oh jeez, fine.” He huffed. “But I will complain every step of the way.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” With a shake of your head you started forward and Spencer reluctantly followed you.

You got less than twenty paces before he almost slipped and fell on his face. To steady himself he instinctively reached for your hand. He didn’t let go the whole way up.

You hated to admit it but there was something oddly comforting about Spencer’s hand in yours. His hand was warm and surprisingly soft and it was so much larger than your own he all but encompassed yours.

He held onto you tightly, fingers squeezing your hand every time his foot slipped a little on the hilly ground. A part of you didn’t want to make it to the top because you didn’t want him to let go.

But of course as soon as the ground levelled out he slipped his hand away and all but collapsed onto the damp ground below, huffing and puffing. You watched him grab his canteen and finish the water without a second thought.

He removed his pack and rolled onto his back, relishing in every last drop of liquid and clearly not concerned he had now emptied his reserves. He closed his eyes and pushed his hair back off his sweaty forehead.

You pulled your cell phone out and unlocked it. You had one tiny bar of signal which you hoped was enough to make a call. You nudged Spencer in the ribs with the toe of your hiking boot. His eyes shot open and he stared up at you, the exhaustion heavy in his eyes.

“I’ve got one bar, I’m going to try and call Prentiss.” You informed him, bringing up your contacts.

You found Emily’s name quickly and hit the call button before putting the device on speaker. The dial tone was crackly and you knew the signal could cut out at any minute. It rang four times before Emily answered but her words were muffled and you only caught a handful of what she said.

“Y/N…are you?...Gone hours…thing okay?”

“Emily, we got lost. Our GPS was misprogrammed. We need help.” You had no idea how much she could hear of what you were saying.

“...are you?...send a rang…coordinates?”

You reeled off your approximate coordinates, explaining that you could be anywhere within a few miles of that spot but again you don’t know what she heard due to the spotty service.

“Hold tight…get a ranger…be okay.”

“Thanks Emily.” You finished before hanging up.

Spencer was still on the floor on his back, his brows furrowed in concern.

“How much of that do you think she got?” He was rolling his lip between his teeth.

“I have no idea.” You pocketed the phone again. “I’m almost certain Garcia would have brought her laptop with her. If she can get to the rangers station and get on the WiFi she might be able to locate us.”

“Yeah, good point. Garcia is the best.” His eyes closed again, a strangely dreamy smile on his lips.

“What are you doing?” You kicked him again and his eyes quickly opened and he stared at you.

“Resting, what does it look like?” He scowled.

“Reid, the second the sun goes down the temperature is going to plummet. We need to make a fire.”

“Goddamnit,” he pushed himself to a sitting position. “I hate the outdoors.”

You chose to ignore him and didn’t help him to his feet, instead started wandering around in the search for some sticks for the fire. Spencer eventually got himself up and started to help. The sun was barely a sliver in the sky by the time you collected enough wood.

You created a crisscross on the ground with the kindling, explaining to Spencer this type of fire would burn for longer and not need as much wood. You had no idea how long you would be out here and you needed to stay warm. The smoke would also help draw attention to your whereabouts.

You retrieved a pack of matches from your back, Spencer once again impressed by your preparedness. He simply watched while you went about lighting the fire, in silent awe. It was several minutes before the fire started to grow and he shuffled closer to it, sitting cross legged on the dirty forest floor and holding his hands towards the flames.

You sat down next to him, but not too close. You got out a fleece hoodie from your bag and slipped it over your head. As if jogging some kind of memory for Spencer he opened his own bag and found his oversized CalTech sweatshirt, thankful he’d had the forethought to pack this even if he had overlooked bringing pants.

Sitting by the fire you felt the fatigue wash over you. You could quite easily curl up and fall asleep after the day's events. Spencer noticed your fluttering eyelids and how you were desperately trying to stay awake.

He suddenly felt extremely bad for how difficult he’d been all day, complaining and moaning while you tried to keep him safe and alive. He huffed out a breath and the sound caused you to look at him.

Half of his face was illuminated by the glow of the fire, the other side set in deep shadow from where the sun had now almost completely vanished beneath the horizon. His golden brown eyes shimmered as he looked at you.

“I, uh, I’m sorry I’ve been such hard work today.” He rolled his lip between his teeth.

“Reid, I’m used to you being hard work.” Your lip twitched at the corner.

“I’m sorry about that too.” He swallowed. “Do you…do you want to lay your head down on my lap? You deserve to rest.”

You frowned a little sceptical, mildly concerned by the offer as Spencer had never been so nice to you. But you were too tired to question it and the idea of laying down sounded wonderful. You nodded slowly, prompting Spencer to uncross his legs and stretch them out in front of himself.

You sucked in a breath, shuffling in the dirt so you could lay on your side with your head in his lap while you stretched your own body out on the ground.

Without meaning to, Spencer's hand was soon brushing through your hair. You couldn’t help the hum of appreciation that you let escape and it goaded him to continue.

His touch elicited the sweetest sounds from your lips, some sounding dangerously like moans. Spencer was only human and his body reacted of its own accord at the noises.

He could sense the blood rushing south, feel the swelling in his shorts despite how much he willed it stop. He stilled his movements on your hair, hoping if you weren’t making those delirious sounds it would stop the blood rushing and he wouldn’t get hard enough for you to notice…

…You suddenly sat up, looking right at him with wide eyes. Of course you’d noticed, his crotch was right beneath your head.

His cheeks instantly flushed red and he pulled a face full of apologies and mortification. You continued to stare at him and he felt more uncomfortable with each silent second.

“Please,” he whimpered. “Just…don’t mention it.”

“Kinda hard not to…pun not intended.” You frowned at your own choice of words and Spencer groaned.

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “It has been a long time since I’ve had any kind of closeness with another person. I can’t be held responsible for my body’s carnal reactions. Especially when you’re making such sinful noises.”

Your own cheeks turned red now and you glanced away from him towards the fire.

“I, uh…I didn’t realise I was. Sorry.” You croaked. “Full disclosure, it’s also been a long time since I’ve had any kind of closeness with another person.”

Spencer’s brows furrowed as he regarded you. He found that incredibly hard to believe. You were just so beautiful he imagined men fell at your feet everywhere you went.

“Seriously?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Seriously.” You confirmed with a huff as you turned back to him.

“But why?”

“Why what? I don’t understand.”

“I mean…you’re you. You’re beautiful and smart and charismatic. Surely you could have your pick of men?” Spencer was really frowning.

“I’m…fussy I suppose? And I don’t really like the whole casual sex thing…” You trailed off with your own frown. “Wait did you call me beautiful?”

“And smart and charismatic.” He nodded.

“Uh, thanks?” You were rightfully confused, Spencer had never said anything nice about you. “What about you? You don’t have women lining up at your door? And weren’t you dating someone?”

Spencer let out a hearty laugh at this, shaking his head dramatically.

“Max and I broke up not long after Cat and her games. We never…you know…and trust me when I say women do not fawn over a neurotic, socially awkward ex-con.” Spencer sighed sadly.

“Oh, I didn’t realise about Max, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It wouldn’t have worked out even if Cat hadn’t interfered.” He pulled a face, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. “You didn’t know me before prison. I’m not the same man I used to be. I had to do things on the inside just to survive and it changed me. For a long time I didn’t trust myself to get close to anyone. A part of me still doesn't but I’m trying I guess? Max was the closest I came to allowing myself to be vulnerable again.”

You simply stared at him, unsure what to say. You’d never spoken so personally with Spencer before, he’d never opened up to you in such a way and you didn’t know how to respond.

You knew you needed to tread lightly, not wanting to risk him clamming up and shutting you down. You were making progress for the first time since you’d met him and you didn’t want to give him a reason not to continue.

“I didn’t know you before prison and I have no idea the things you would have gone through in there. But I do know you now. I know you shield yourself behind these huge walls to keep people from hurting you, probably because you’ve already been hurt enough for one lifetime.

“You kept me at arms length because you don’t like change, you worried I would threaten the team dynamic. But once you realised that wasn’t the case, you were too far gone and it was easier for you to keep treating me with disdain rather than thaw towards me.”

Spencer was silent while you talked, ingesting your words, mulling them over in his head. His expression tightened, his eyebrows knitted together and his lips drawn into a line.

“I guess you’re right, at least about some of it.” He exhaled. “I was always guarded to a degree even before prison. People have always disappointed me I guess and so I learnt not to rely on anyone, not to let anyone get too close. It’s easier to be alone than to risk getting hurt.

“But you’re wrong about why I kept you away. Your comment about me being a mama’s boy stung but I didn’t hold it against you. I needed to put distance between us because from the first time I met you I knew how effortless it would be for me to fall for you.

“I was too raw at the time, I wasn’t ready to give my heart away to someone who might not even want it. I had to keep you at arms length because it was safer than letting myself develop feelings for someone who probably wouldn’t reciprocate. But I guess the jokes on me because my plan was far from foolproof and I managed to fall for you anyway.

“I don’t expect anything from you in return, and I’m hoping once we’re rescued we can just forget this whole thing ever happened. But I suppose you deserve to know why I am the way I am with you and maybe going forward we can try to be…I don’t know…friends? Or at the very least I hope we can get along better.” He sucked in a breath when he finished speaking, looking completely exhausted and utterly heartbroken.

You couldn’t speak. You took in every single word, toyed with them in your mind and tried to make sense of them. But really they didn’t make any sense. In the year you’d known Spencer you had never even gotten so much as a hint that he had feelings for you. He was detached, withdrawn and oftentimes entirely unapproachable.

It seemed implausible that he could have been hiding these feelings all this time and for you not to have a clue. You were a profiler, wasn’t it your job to pick up on these things? Did the rest of the team figure it out? Were you the only one in the dark?

He looked increasingly uncomfortable by his confession with every passing second of silence. The fire crackled, its warmth washing over you both. It cast you both in a cosy glow.

Spencer seemed closer somehow. Did you move nearer or had he, or was it simply all in your head?

There were so many things you could say, so many possibilities but you couldn’t form a simple sentence. Every time you tried to speak your words caught in your throat and his own played over in a loop in your brain.

I guess the jokes on me because my plan was far from foolproof and I managed to fall for you anyway.

Spencer had feelings for you and he thought you wouldn’t feel the same. Perhaps neither of you were as good at profiling as you thought.

Spencer rolled his lip between his teeth, growing self conscious in your lack of response. He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled it through his nose.

“I should not have said any of that.” He averted his gaze to the fire. “I don’t even know why I did. Jeez, I’m a moron. Please can you just pretended I didn’t…”

He trailed off when your hand cupped his chin and you turned him gently to look at you.

“Yes, you are a moron.” You smiled meekly. “But only because you missed what was right in front of you. How can you think I didn’t feel the same?”

His mouth fell open, your hand still on his jaw. He blinked rapidly as if trying to clear some kind of fog in his brain.

“You…I’m confused.” He frowned.

“Let me clear it up for you then.” You dropped your hand to your side but seconds later your lips crushed against his.

Spencer gasped at the sudden action, in a million years he never dreamed to actually feel your lips on his. And if he never got this chance again, he was going to make the most of it.

He raised his hands to cup your face and ran his tongue along your bottom lip, gently asking for passageway. You obliged by parting your lips enough for his tongue to slide inside.

You were quick to explore the contours of each other's mouths, both of your desperations evident in the way your teeth knocked together while you worked to find your rhythm.

One of his hands worked its way into the back of your hair and held you firmly as he deepened the kiss further. He pulled you into his lap and you manoeuvred yourself so you were straddling him, kneeling in the dirt either side of his hips.

He kept one hand cradling your head and the other moved down over your ribs. It dipped beneath the thick fabric of your hoodie, sandwiched between it and your shirt underneath.

You rocked in his lap, wrapping your arms tightly around neck. The friction caused him to moan languidly into your mouth and it wasn’t long before you felt him growing hard again.

When he pulled back and opened his eyes, his pupils were blown out, heavy with lust. He was begging you for more without the use of words, he removed one of your hands from around his neck and moved it between your bodies.

He placed your palm on his rapidly growing erection, rolling his swollen lip with his teeth whilst silently asking if this was okay. You smiled at him and your other hand joined it so you could pop the button of his shorts.

One hand wasted no time in diving straight into his boxers and wrapping around his shaft. You quickly tugged him free of the confines of both his shorts and underwear.

You sat back a little on your haunches to look down on him. You couldn’t hold back your lamentation as you surveyed every inch of him in your hand. He was long and thick, heavy against your palm. Honestly you hadn’t known what to expect, but it wasn’t this.

The vein that ran up the underside throbbed as you brushed your thumb over it and he bucked his hips when you moved it to rub over his swollen red tip. You slowly brought your fist all the way back down, squeezing his base whilst nestled in a bed of scratchy pubic hair.

You tore your eyes away from his crotch and looked up to meet his eyes. They held a hint of uncertainty, as though he was worried you wouldn’t like what you saw. Spencer never was blessed with body confidence, he was always too skinny or too tall or too gangly.

He wasn’t dumb though, he knew that particular appendage was above average. He didn’t have a wealth of sexual experience but he had enough to know that he was often a tight fit for most. But that didn’t stop him from feeling self conscious under your gaze.

The smile on your face and the glint in your eye was enough for him to know that you were pleased by what you’d seen and it allowed him to relax a little. He felt a wave of heat wash over him as your hand slowly started to move and it had nothing to do with his proximity to the fire.

He wriggled beneath you as you started moving your hand up and down, your thumb brushing over his sensitive head each time. A string of wanton moans left his lips and he was momentarily dumbfounded while you worked him, not able to do anything but sit and relish in this feeling.

Your petite hand couldn’t fit all the way around him but it didn’t make your movements any less mind blowing. He had never been touched like this before, with such a combination of care and desperation.

Once he got his brain working for long enough to think straight, he moved his hands towards the buttons of your pants. You didn’t let up on your ministrations while he got them undone, swiping your thumb through the precum collecting on his head.

He swiftly popped the buttons and his right hand dipped inside straight inside your panties. He moaned animalistically when he discovered how wet you were already, the sound dissipating out into the forest.

You kept eye contact with each other as his fingers slid between your legs, collecting your arousal before moving to settle on your needy clit. You whimpered as he rubbed the sensitive bud with two fingers, rocking against his hand whilst increasing your speed on his cock.

The sounds coming from the both of you were nothing short of feral and became eaten up by the vast woods surrounding you. You grinded against his hand while he flicked your nub deftly, eager to bring you to orgasm.

You returned the favour and matched his speed. The sounds of your arousal and his flesh against yours filled your ears. The fire continued to crackle behind you, casting you in an ethereal glow from where you perched on top of him.

His chest heaved and his stomach was coiling into thick knots. He wanted this to last forever but knew his orgasm was imminent. It had been all too long since someone had touched him so intimately and it would be impossible to stave off his release for too long.

But judging by the noises you were making, the sinful whines and moans leaving your parted lips and how frantically you bucked against his hand, he assumed you were in the same boat.

“Jesus, Reid,” you panted heavily. “Who knew you’d be so good at that?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, increasing his speed even further as if to prove that point.

“Likewise.” He replied, whimpering as you swiped your thumb through more beads of precum.

“I’m so close.” You whined, throwing your head back to your shoulders.

“M-me too.” He stuttered, stomach clenching at the way you twisted your fist around his shaft.

Somewhere in the distance you heard a twig snap but paid it no attention. You kept your focus here on Spencer, on how he was making you feel and on how you were making him feel. But then you heard another crunch followed by a faint voice.

“Reid? Y/LN?” It called. “I see smoke! That has to be them!”

“Is that…?” Spencer frowned, breathing heavily.

“G-Garcia.” You mumbled.

“Fuck,” Spencer groaned, his frustration evident.

“Reid? Y/L/N? It’s Penny G, can you hear me, my loves?”

You and Spencer exchanged a look while you both stilled your movements at the same time. He kept his hand inside your panties while you held the base of his shaft limply. You felt dizzy, you were on the cusp of orgasm, about to fall over the ledge when Garcia’s voice had dragged you back from the brink. Looking at Spencer, he felt much the same.

“Y/L/N, Reid! We’re coming angels!”

“Oof,” Spencer groaned, cautiously withdrawing his hand from inside your pants. “Poor choice of words.”

You reluctantly let go of his shaft and crawled away from him while you both readjusted yourself and got your pants done up.

“Over here, Garcia.” You called, hoping she didn’t notice the way your voice shook.

Your body tingled, so close to release a soft breeze could get you there. Spencer pushed himself to his feet, legs shaking and reached out to help you up. He was tenting his shorts, unable to get the blood flowing elsewhere due to how close he’d been. He picked up his backpack and held it in front of him so Garcia wouldn’t notice.

Your underwear was soaked and sticky. You tried to adjust your stance so it was less uncomfortable but it was almost impossible. You could see three flashlights in the distance and the footsteps were growing closer.

Soon enough Garcia and two park rangers appeared through the thicket. If she noticed the flush of your cheeks she didn’t say anything. She immediately threw her arms around both of you, Spencer cloying to keep his bag as a barrier between himself and the bubbly blonde for fear she might feel his unyielding erection.

“Oh my sweet angels!” She cooed over you both. “Let's get you back to camp and get you warmed up and fed.”

You both silently agreed and let the rangers lead you back towards a clearing where their vehicle awaited you. Garcia hopped in the backseat first and Spencer held open the door for you, offering a meek smile as you passed him.

Perhaps it was for the best you’d been interrupted before you could go too far. Perhaps Garcia had inadvertently helped you dodge a bullet.

***

Several hours later after making it back to the camp and feasting on Rossi’s campfire soup and bread and whilst being wrapped in Garcia’s fluffy blankets, one by one the other members of the BAU retired for the night.

The fire was still dwindling as you perched on a log next to Spencer, silence deafening you once the two of you were alone. You watched the small flames flicker and dance in the soft breeze, soaking up the last of the summer evening before calling it a night yourself.

Before you did, you turned to face him to find he was already looking at you. He smiled softly, a little bashfully and you returned it. Words and emotions bubbled under the surface and neither one of you knew where to start.

“Some day, huh.” You shrugged, wrapping the blanket tighter around your body.

“It was certainly eye opening.” Spencer agreed.

“It was probably for the best that Garcia and those rangers found us when they did, right?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. Probably stopped us from doing something even more stupid.” Spencer chuckled nervously.

“Exactly.” You nodded, getting to your feet. Spencer did the same. “We can just pretend nothing happened. We were tired, probably a little dehydrated. The sun makes us do weird things.”

“Yeah, the sun.” He nodded too.

You swallowed thickly, giving him one last look before turning towards your tent. Spencer scuffed the toe of his converse on the ground and found himself speaking again without really meaning to.

“I mean…it would have been nice to at least finish. I’ve been kinda on edge ever since.”

You spun back to look at him and he looked so unsure of himself. His hands were in his pockets and his shoulders were pitched up to his ears.

“Uh, yeah same here.” You took a couple of tentative steps back towards him. “There’s no doubt I could go back to my tent right now and finish what we started alone but…”

“But your hand feels so much better than my own.” Spencer finished for you.

You both chuckled as you reached him again, letting go of your blanket and letting it fall to the floor so you wrap your arms around Spencer’s neck.

“It would just be a one time thing.” You whispered, your breath fanning across his face.

“Even though you don’t like casual sex.” He placed his hands on your hips.

“Even though I don’t like casual sex.” You repeated.

“We’re just…two colleagues helping each other.” Spencer smirked, inching his face closer to yours.

“And if anyone ever found out…”

“We’d blame the sun. Summer heat got to us.”

“Summer heat.” You agreed and with that he kissed you again, drawing you into his body whilst tugging you in the direction of his own tent.

Spencer had never been a fan of summer. But after today he may have been converted. And he was certain this summer heat between you would continue to smoulder through the seasons.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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baby-alien11 · 1 year ago

Text

Memories: First Public Apearance (Y/N Ulrich Universe)

taglist: @volturi-girl-imagines @dessxoxsworld @camiesully @ethanlandryluver @nowitsmissing @aliciacat20 @gabbylovesreading @nikfigueiredo @itsaaliyah2

Since the start of your relationship on end of august, you and Jack decided to keep it private except for close friends and family to have a few months of peace before having the scrutiny of the public on you, at the eyes of the world both of you were good friends who support each other, but behind close doors you were more than friends, you were lovers

And deciding that a hard launch at the last month of the year would be iconic, the Avatar: The Way of Water London premiere would be the perfect oportunity

So, while he and the rest of the cast were doing press, you and your team of stylist were organizing everything to travel to London, return to LA, and Canada

"Okay, the Club L London brown dress is already bought, we just need to try it when we arrive in London, we achieved to pull an Armani archive for LA, and the Norma Kamali will arrive the same day we do in Canada, we have all the shoes and accesories", Nora enlisted while the living room was a mess with clothes, shoes and accesories, "We got the inspiration moodboards for all the looks, and also the street looks for the three cities, we just need to organize everything"

"Do we need another suitcase?", you asked sitting on the floor in the middle of the mess, "I mean, three countries in two weeks, and I'm also staying with Jack and his mom in Virginia for the holidays"

"Just in case", Nora nodded, "We can use one for the premiere looks and another for the regular clothes"

Going to your room, you went to your closet to get another suitcase and bring it to the first floor to continue with the organization

"We'll do your nails the day before leaving to London, and we got the design ready, which is beautiful", Nora continued checking her tablet, "Make up will be provided by Charlotte Tilbury, Fenty Beauty, Rare Beauty and the Nyx Avatar Collection"

"That is a beautiful collection", Lysette, the make up artist, said, "I can't wait to play with it"

"Hey, sorry to interrumpt but there's a package for you, tornado", Skeet said entering the living room with a big box in his arms which was left in a free space in the middle of the chaos, "Biggest PR package so far"

"Holy shit", you murmured getting up to open it revealing a blue box with the title of the next Avatar movie

Smiling, you went to got your phone to send a text to the person you knew will answer your thoughts

My champ

Hey babe, I hope I'm not interrupting anything

But, can I call you?

Not even a minute after you sent those texts, your phone light up with a videocall from Jack which you were quick to answer

"Hello gorgeous", Jack greeted when he saw your face

"Hi babe", you smiled, "How's everything?"

"Good, we're having a break between interviews", Jack responded moving the phone to show his outfit

"Uh, I love the outfit", you signaled, "By the way, guess what just arrived?"

"An advent calendar? Your Casetify order? A new baking book?"

"No, no and no", you responded before moving the camera to show the big blue box, "Straight out of Pandora, it seems"

"I'm glad it arrived before the trip here", Jack smiled, "And it's more of hand picked gifts, than the regular PR box they are sending to the rest"

"In that case I can't wait to open it, any clues on what I can expect inside?"

"I just going to say that you'll love everything is inside"

"Is that Y/N?", you heard Trinity's voice off-screen, "I want to talk to her"

Seeing a bit of tussle between Jack and what seemed to be Trinity, Bailry and Jamie for a few minutes during what you went to the patio to sit in a sofa, it ended when their faces were in the screen and trying to prevent Jack from taking his phone

"Hi, guys", you smiled, "It's nice to see you"

"I miss you", Trinity said, "When are you coming?"

"My flight is in two days", you responded, "We're still organizing the luggage"

"Did you get what I sent you?", Bailey asked

"I did!", you nodded lifting your hand, "I'm already wearing the Baby Vamp Ring and the Donna bundle, and I love the blue in your hair"

"Do you want to know the end of the movie?", Jamie asked

"No, thank you", you responded

"Guys, give me my phone", Jack exclaimed while trying to grab his phone, "I want to talk to my girlfriend"

"You talk to her daily, we don't", Trinity pointed

"Guys, guys", you claimed their attention, "I promise that the moment I arrive we can talk about everything, I promise"

"Ghostface princess promise?", Bailey asked

"Ghostface princess promise", you nodded

Satisfied with that response, they gave Jack his phone back

"Hi again"

"Hi", you laughed, "I can't wait to go there"

"And I can't wait for you to be here", just as Jack was about to speak again, he was called to continue with the interviews, "I guess duty calls"

"I understand", you nodded, "Go there and be the charming boy that you are"

"I love you gorgeous"

"I love you babe"

Ending the call, you returned to the living room where things were still being organized to move the box to another part of the house with good lighting and position the phone with the light ring in a way that the box and you were visible, before starting an instagram live

"Hello dearest friends behind the screen, Y/N here, I hope you are doing well from wherever you are watching this", you greeted looking at the camera, "So, this package arrived a few minutes ago, and you know I love doing unboxings, so lets start, but first I would like to thank the Avatar: The Way of Water team for sending this"

Opening the top of the box, you were welcomed with a hand written card, which you read out loud

"Dear Y/N, in honor of Avatar: The Way of Water releasing soon we would like to sent you some gifts inspired by the incredible world of Pandora, I hope you like everything that is inside the box and make your experience of watching the movie even better, sincerely, your friends from Avatar", you finished reading to look at the camera again, "Aw, thank you guys, I really apreciate it, okay, lets see what's inside"

Leaving the card in the table next to you, you removed the blue and teal paper to start getting the things

"First we have these blind boxes, we have four of them, after the live I'll open them and upload to stories what I got, then whe have these two atokirinas which you can hang in any space you want, I love the atokirinas, they're so cute, next we have a hat, three shirts and a hoodie, we have also a Loungefly Toruk Makto wallet, plushies of an ikran, a pa'li, a palulukan and an ilu, we also got a scented candle, I love scented candles and this one smells amazing, we have a water bottle which I'm going to use for the gym, we also got an...are you serious? It's an action figure of an ikran, it's so beautiful, I love the purple and green combination and the details, and lastly we have...a LEGO of the Tree of Souls! Guys, you're spoiling me a lot! Fun fact: this is my second favorite tree, the first is the Tree of Voices, but it was destroyed, someone has a video of me crying while watching that scene, well, I would like to thank the team of Avatar for these wonderful gifts, I love them so much, I'm so grateful for them and I'm going to enjoy them so much, also for everyone seeing this, don't forget to watch the movie on cinemas on december 16, I'm sure we are going to love it, love you guys, until next time"

Finishing the live, you put everything in the box again to return to the living room and continue with the packing, this time adding the hoodie in everyone of your airport outfits

When the day of the flight came, and after a ten and a half hours flight, you along with the team of stylists and yours and dad's publicist arrived at London during the afternoon, getting on the van that was sent to go to the hotel were everyone was staying

Arriving at the hotel and getting all the luggage out of the van, your group entered t go to the lobby and get the rooms

"Anna", you exclaimed when she entered the lobby to hug her

"Hi angel", she smiled hugging you back, "I'm so glad you arrived in time"

"I'm also glad to be here", you nodded once the hug ended, "How's everything and everyone?"

"Good, they in the middle of the last interviews of the day", Anna responded while both you returned to the reception, "Tomorrow is the last day and then the next day is the premiere"

Returning to the reception, you filled a form of registration because you'll be staying in the same suite as them, so after they gave the extra key and the rest of your team got theirs, all of you went to the elevators to go to the floors where everyone was staying

While the team stayed in a floor below with the rest of the other teams, you went to the floor were all the cast and part of the crew with their families were staying to walk thought the hall until you and Anna reached the correct door that she opened it helping you with one of your suitcases, even thought if you insisted on carry the two suitcases and the tote bag

"Here's our room", Anna said closing the door, "My room is the one on the left, and Jack and yours is on the right, I think Butters is still eating"

Entering the suite, you saw Butters eating in the dinning room table who at the moment you aproach to scratch him, left his food to greet you because he hasn't see you in a few weeks

"Hi, baby", you said in a small voice scratching him between the ears, "Are you being a good boy? Yes, you are"

"He's enjoying having the room by himself almost all the day", Anna commented, "We often return and he's sleeping in different parts of the whole place"

"Mr Butters is living his best life", you joked

"Angel, do you mind if I leave you for a little while?", Anna asked helping you to carry your things to your room, "They only have two interviews left for the day and I usually am there"

"No, it's okay, don't worry", you assured, "I'm just going to organize my things"

After Anna left making sure you were going to be okay, you started to put some of your things in the bathroom and some of your shoes on the closet, including the sneakers you were wearing, without taking too much space

Once you finished organizing your things, you went to the small kitchen, followed by Butters walking behind you, to drink some water

"So, Butters", you talked to the sphynx cat who jumped into the counter next to you while petting him, "How's fame treating you?"

Just as Butters let a few meows and purrs, the principal door opened inmediatly followed by Jack, still in his interview outfit of the day

"Gorgeous!"

"My love!"

Running to each other, both of you met in the middle to collide into a hug, during which Jack lift you up the ground at what you circled his waist with your legs

For a few minutes, both of you stayed in the same position with your arms around his neck and legs arund his waist, while he rounded your waist with his arms, and his head on top of yours, all while Anna stayed in the entrace filming the entire thing

"I missed you", you said

"I missed you too", Jack responded now looking you in the eyes, "I was literally jumping in my seat during all the interviews just thinking about you arriving today"

"I was also hoping that the plane would go faster", you said, "But I rewatched the movie to have it fresh in my mind, and read the three volumes of 'The High Ground' on my iPad, and then I fell asleep for the rest of the flight"

"Hey, what if I go change because they'll kill me if I wrinkle the clothes and then we can talk and have some dinner?"

Nodding, Jack left you put your feet on the ground to go to his room and change to something more comfortable, while you and Anna started to order some room service for dinner

While having dinner, the three of you talked about everything that happened while being in different countries before going to sleep because of the tiring day all of you had

The next day, while Jack was being styled for the last day of press, you dressed up in a black body, a Burberry skirt, black tights and black high boots, with your hair tied with a hairclip to spend the day with your mom

After being ready and taking your stuff, the three of you went to the first floor to get breakfast at the hotel restaurant were some of the cast were eating, and noticing the table where Trinity and Bailey were, you gave your jacket and purse to Jack before walking silently to them before covering their eyes with your hands

"What's your favorite scary movie?", you said in your best impression of the ghostface voice

"The one you're going to be in", Trinity responded taking you hand that was covering her eyes, "You're here!"

Almost screaming, both girls stood from their seats to share hugs before Jamie, Britain, Filip and Duane joined when seeing the commotion, greeting you when they saw you there

"When did you arrive?", Bailey asked when all of you sat in the table

"Last night", you answered after ordering a coffee, "While you were having the last interviews of the day"

"And we decided to wait until today because all of us were tired", Jack explained with his arm around the back of your chair

"Smart choice", Britain nodded

"So, Y/N, the movie ends with-"

"Goodbye, I'm going to get breakfast", you interrupted Jamie standing from your chair

"I already told you she hates spoilers", Jack said to him before following you to the buffet

"You seriously wanted to tell Y/N Ulrich, the daughter of the first ghostface, the end of the movie?", Duane asked

"It was a joke", Jamie justified, "Besides I told a hundred people the ending"

"Yeah, but she is the ghostface princess, she's horror royalty", Bailey insisted, "And she's a baddie too"

"I heard that", you exclaimed from the buffet, "You're also a baddie and part of horror royalty, Bai"

"By the way, we got renewed for a second season", Bailey said

"I'll be seated", you responded finally returning with a plate of fruit with yogurt and another of regular breakfast food, "So, how's everyone doing?"

"Us we're good, just chilling until we have to go to the premiere tomorrow", Filip said refering to him, Duane and Britain, "Today we're just going watch some movies and going out for lunch, want to join us?"

"I appreciate the offer, but I made plans with my mom to have lunch and spend the day together", you declined, "And I also need to pick up my dress for tomorrow"

"Do you have pictures?", Trinity asked at what you nodded and gave her your phone with the picture of the dress, "It's beautiful, it's giving Evermore"

"And you haven't seen the shoes", you added, "They look like the Tree of Souls"

"Hey, kids", a member of the Avatar media team said getting close to the table, "Sorry for interrupt, but the interviews start in twenty minutes, we need to go"

Eating the most they could of their breakfast, Jack, Trinity, Bailey and Jamie stood from their seats to follow the media person and their families

"See you later, gorgeous", Jack said while sharing a hug, "Enjoy the day and say 'hi' to your mom from me"

"I will", you nodded, "Have fun and go charm everyone, spider boy"

"I love you", Jack smiled with a small kiss

"I love you", you returned the smile

"Where's our kiss?", Duane joked

"Are any of you my girlfriend?", Jack joked, now only circling your waist with an arm to watch the three of them

"No, but we spent four years together", Britain simplified, "We peed in the tank, that was a bonding experience"

"Ew", Bailey groaned, "It's more gross everytime I heard it"

"We all peed in the tank", Jamie exclaimed, "You can't denied it"

"Guys, James is saying that he personally is going to come if you aren't there in five minutes", the media person said reading the message James sent

"Big boss is calling", Trinity commented

Saying the last goodbyes, they left to continue with the last day of interviews, while the four of you returned to eat

"Do you want to see pictures of Jack during filming?", Filip asked

"Absolutely", you exclaimed, "Show me everything"

During the rest of the breakfast, they showed you photos of everyone during the filming of the movies while being careful to not spoil something, and even adding you to the groupchat "Pandora kids"

A bit after finishing breakfast and talking a bit more, you along with Nora and Rachel took a cab to go to the store to get the dress for the next day; arriving at the front of the store, you noticed your moms car parked outside the store and she reclined against it

"Mom", you exclaimed running to her

"Hi baby", Georgina smiled hugging you tightly, "I'm happy to see you here, you look beautiful, I love the outfit"

"Thank you", you smiled twirling a little

Entering the store, they lead the four of you to a private area where the dress was hanging on the wall, with a few couches, small tables, a changing area and a big mirror

"It's even more beautiful in person", you squealed aproaching to saw it better, "I can't wait to try it"

Going to the changing room with the consultant, you changed from your clothes to the dress before stepping out and stand in front of the mirror

"You look stunning", Georgina smiled taking pictures with her phone

"How does it feel?", Nora asked helping you with the heels

"It's comfortable", you responded looking at yourself in the mirror, "I love the fabric, the shape, the color, the slit"

"Can we close the slit?", Georgina joked

"Mom!", you laughed

"And the best part, is that no one has worn it to any red carpet, premiere or event", Rachel, your publicist, said, "And the shoes and the nails are the perfect contrast against the brown"

"With all the complete styling tomorrow it will be perfect", Nora pointed, "I can already picture it"

After returning to your regurlar clothes and while they were packing the dress, you decided to check some things they had in there which end up in buying some things

While leaving the store and waiting for a cab, Nora and Rachel took the dress and the things you bought to take them back to the hotel, while you and Georgina drove to another part where there were stores and coffee shops to walk around

"So, are you excited for tomorrow?", Georgina asked with her arm around your shoulders, "The premiere and making the relationship public"

"Yeah, I can't wait to not hide anymore", you smiled, "Also excited because I know the movie is going to be incredible, by the way, Jack says 'hi'"

"I'm so happy that you found someone who loves you a lot, he's a good guy, and respect of the movie, I literally see giant posters of the characters in every street"

Laughing, both of you continue to walk until she stopped in front of a Hérmes boutique confusing you a bit

"Quit that face, you got three premieres to attend", Georgina joked, "I wanted to give you an early christmas present, and I know you dream of having a Birkin bag some day and that you have to have a sales history, so I decided to get you the first item"

"Thank you so much, mom", you almost sobbed hugging her, "It really means a lot"

"Anything for you, little one"

Entering the boutique, a sales associate aproached with a kind smile

"Miss Cates, welcome", the sales associate greeted, "I'm Irene, I will be your sales associate for the appointment"

"Thank you so much, the appointment is for my daughter, I want her to choose something she likes"

"Hi, I'm Y/N, nice to meet you", you said shaking her hand

Walking around the boutique and seeing the things they offered, until you decided to try some sandals for tomorrow in case you wanted to change shoes for the after party, and also because they were stunning

During the rest of the day, both of you walked around some of the streets and having lunch at a nice restaurant (in which you decided to bought pastries for everyone), before continue with the walk and some shopping in between, until it was time for you to return to the hotel to be in time for the dinner that was organized before the premiere tomorrow

"I wish I could be here tomorrow with you", Georgina sighed while hugging you

"I share the feeling, mom", you said, "But I understand that you have a very important photoshoot"

"But I promise I would have all my twitter and instagram notifications on to see you on the carpet"

After saying goodbye again and making sure that you were inside the hotel, Georgina left while you walked towards the elevator to leave your shopping spree in the room and retouch your make up

"Hello baby Butters", you exclaimed closing the door and leaving the bags in the kitchen table to see the cat waking up from his nap in the back of the couch, "I bought you something to be elegant and cute"

Going through one of the bags, you pulled out a red collar and a pair of glasses for cats and getting them closer so he can sniff them, and having his seal of approval, you put the items on him carefully before taking photos of him and then carrying him in front of the mirror and putting your glasses and taking a few photos of both of you

"We look amazing", you declared sending the photos to Jack and Anna before putting the cat in your lap

Fortunately, the retouch only consisted in removing your jacket, re-aplying your lipstick and releasing your hair from the hairclip and brushing it, so when Jack and Anna returned from the last day of interviews, the three of you went to the first floor where the dinner will be held in a conference room

Arriving there, Anna went to talk to some of the parents while you and Jack walked around the room to find a table, until he saw someone

"Come, I want you to meet someone", Jack smiled walking you towards a small group, "Sig!"

Knowing who he was calling by the nickname, you almost froze in your place if it wasn't for Jack's arm around your waist guiding you towards her, who stopped her conversation to turn to look at both of you with a smile on her face

"Queen Sigourney", you murmured still in shock

"Sig, this is my girlfriend, Y/N", Jack presented both of you

"I've heard so much about you", Sigourney speaked hugging you while you were still in shock, "I'm so happy to meet you"

Separating from the hug, you were still in shock but you gained the hability to speak again

"I'm a great fan of you, it's an honor to meet you", you said not noticing how Jack slipped away, "I'm sorry if I sound like a fangirl, it's just that I admire you a lot, and Alien was the first horror movie that I saw, and I'm sorry if I started rambling"

"That's okay, don't worry", Sigourney laughed, "I also act like that when I met someone that I admire"

"Okay, now I feel a bit calm", you joked, "And I would also like to tell you, that in high school I wrote an essay about you"

"I think that is the best compliment I recieved, what was the name of the essay?"

"'How Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley influenced on the future final girls', and I got an A+ and I was published in the school newspaper along with the other perfect grades"

"If you don't mind I would love to read it"

"Of course! I'll send it to you"

After exchanging numbers, you sending her the essay, talking for a bit more and taking a few photos together, you went to the table where Jack was sitting talking with Duane

"I think I just died and came back to life", you said sitting in the chair next to Jack who was quick to put his arm around your shoulders at what you put your head on his shoulder

"How was the conversation?", Duane asked

"It was like talking to an angel, I swear I was going to fade at any moment, especially because she asked to read my essay about her, and now I have her number on my phone"

"How did you save her?", Jack asked this time

"The only correct answer is 'Queen Sigourney'", you smiled, "And then she saved me as 'The cutest Ulrich', this is one of the best days of my life"

Noticing how James Cameron and Jon Landau were stepping into the small stage with mics on his hands, everyone went to sit at their tables, which include Duane going to the table where his family was, and Anna sitting with you two

"Here's my boy", Stephen Lang said clapping Jack on his back before sitting on his other side, "How's everything going?"

"Good, good, everything's good", Jack nodded, "I wanted to introduce you to someone, this is Y/N, my girlfriend"

"It's nice to finally meet you, Jack has told me a lot about you", Stephen said shaking your hand

"It's nice to meet you too", you smiled, "I'm such a great fan of your work, especially 'Don't Breathe', it's one of my favorites"

"Big fan of horror, I see", Stephen pointed

"I guess it's in my blood", you joked causing everyone to laugh

Interrupting the small conversations, James and Jon gave a speech thanking everyone for being part of the project and things like that, and anouncing a small karaoke between the boys and the girls

"Y/N, you're with us!", Bailey exclaimed from her table

"Of course I am!", you exclaimed back

Running to the stage, the boys choose 'I Want It That Way' and 'Everybody' from The Backstreet Boys (Britain wanted to die from embarrasment during the whole thing) while the three of you choose 'Bad Blood' and 'Look What You Made Me Do' from Taylor Swift, while the adults were having fun watching the small battle

The next day, which was the premiere, all of you took the oportunity to woke up a bit late until the glam teams arrive to start the prepearing for the afternoon, and it seemed like the rest had the same idea because while having a little brunch thanks to the room service, all of the younger cast came to the room to grab from the box of pastries you bought the day before

When the glam teams arrived and while they started to prepare the things and the outfits, each of you took a shower before sitting to get ready, except for Jack who at the moment was wearing face masks sitting on the couch while playing with Butters

During the process of the hairstyle, your phone started to ring with a groupal videocall from your dad and siblings, which you were quick to accept inmediatly seeing their faces

"Hi everyone", you greeted

"There's the fashion icon of the family", Jakob exclaimed with Megan by his side from their house, "What time is it there?"

"Three twenty-two", you responded

"Here is seven twenty-two", Skeet said taking a sip of her coffee, "How's London?"

"Fortunately, not as cold as I thought, by the way, say 'hi'"

Moving your phone, you pointed at everyone in the room who were happy to greet your family at the screen

"Everyone looks beautiful", Naiia exclaimed, "What time is the premiere?"

"Starts at six, and we have to arrive before nine", Jack said at what you turned the camera to his face again, "We're going to run on caffeine and energy drinks"

"With responsability", Anna pointed at what you moved the phone to her direction, "Only a coffee and an energy drink per premiere"

"Anna, you're a saint only for dealing with those two", Jakob joked causing everyone to laugh

"Especially after tons of caffeine", Skeet continued

After talking for bit more the call ended to let all of you to continue to get ready, when Anna was ready, it was Jacks turn to get ready, while they finished your make up, they started to prepare everything to dress you

"Y/N, it's time", Nora said with tape and scissors

"I thought we were going to use the strapless bra", you frowned

"We don't want to take the risk of the bra falling off mid-premiere so the tape is better", Nora explained

Sighing, you got up from your chair to follow her along with Lysette and Tessa to your room

"Wish me luck", you said before closing the door

"Good luck!", the rest exclaimed

Getting into the tape and dress took twenty minutes, during which you talked with them about random topics, after putting the dress, the four of you got out to see Jack in his suit ready for the premiere while you were still putting on the accesories, shoes and prepearing your purse and the emergency sandals

Once your look was ready, they took a few profesional photos for social media, before getting to the lobby and into the van to go to the premiere

Arriving there, all of you got out of the van and walk a bit hearing people going crazy by seeing the two of you holding hands, before stopping to wait to your turn for the press photos

When it was your turn, both of you walked to the first part of the carpet to let them take photos of you side-hugging, which some of them ended up in both of you looking at each other laughing and smiling, even sharing small kisses on the cheeks and lips, and then some of them were individually

Letting him take photos with the rest of the cast, you followed Rachel to the press area where a reporter from 'People' was waiting to interview you

"Y/N Ulrich! Look at you!", the reporter exclaimed making you laugh, "You never disapoint with your looks, can we talk about this one, if you don't mind?"

"Of course", you smiled, "This whole look is inspired by Jacks character, Spider, this Club L London brown dress represents his costume, the blue accesories the painted blue stripes, the hair is also an interpretation of his hairstyle, the nails are also na'vi themed, and the shoes, I don't know if you can see them, but I bought them because they reminded me of the Tree of Souls"

"I absolutely have no words for your creativity"

"Thank you so much, and it was a team effort with my styling team, they are my fairy godmothers"

"That's a beautiful way to refer to them, now, speaking of the movie, the first one came in 2009 and now in 2022, we're finally seeing the second one and also we have three more movies in the way, how does it feels to be able to see the franchise expand?"

"It's amazing, and I'm not going to lie, I saw the first movie for the first time early this year during one of Jack and I's dates, and I ended up mesmerized by the amazing world that James and Jon created along with the cast and crew, and knowing the effort everyone put during this years of production it adds more value"

"What do you expect to see in the movie?"

"First of all, I don't want to see Neytiri suffering, my girl deserves a break and a nice vacation after everything that happened in the first one, and also I can't wait to see the new part of Pandora, which is Awa'atlu and the metakyinas"

"Well, thank you so much for this interview, it was a pleasure to talk with you, you look incredible, and also congratulations on your relationship with Jack"

"Thank you so much, you look beatiful as well, enjoy the night"

After doing two more interviews, you saw that the cast was doing their interviews, so you went with Anna to keep her company

"How's it going?", you gretted them intervining your arm with hers

"It feels gratifying to see everything became real, I feel proud of him", Anna said a bit emotional

"You have every right to be, you have been with Jack since the beggining, it's a full circle moment", you responded putting your head on her shoulder

After Jack finished his interviews (in which you joined him for two), everyone entered the teather to finally watch the movie

"Y/N, last chance for me to tell you the ending", Jamie joked while all of you walked into the teather

"Not going to happen", you denied, "We're litearlly about to see the movie and I won't let anyone, speacially you, tell me the ending"

"That was hot", Jack murmured in your ear while hugging you from behind

"Thank you", you smiled

Entering the teather, you grabed a bag of butter popcorn and a package of red twists to go sit with Anna, while the cast went to the front to share a few words before the movie

In the end, the movie completely broke you (it was luck that your make up was waterproof) so much that even James Cameron aproached to see if you were okay and to invite you to the set when filming starts again

#baby alien creations #y/n ulrich universe #jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion imagine #jack champion scream #jack champion x you #jack champion fanfic #jack champion fluff #avatar

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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 1 year ago

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~Lovely Nights With Lover Boys~

Genre: very mild hurt/comfort(?), fluff

Ship: PA/MA/VA

Warnings: None, though it gets a little bit ✨spicy✨ at some point

Also random hc: PA and MA love to play fight with each other and Ginny puts up with their dumbasses cuz he loves them <3

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Massachusetts playfully threw a pillow from the couch at Pennsylvania, who growled when it hit him right in the face. This was something they did often, and it was purely affection.

"Aight Masshole get yer ass over ere’!" PA launched himself at the shorter state, though Mass quickly jumped out of the way of his fiance with a smirk. Penn blushed at the wild look in the Bay State’s eyes, the one that he loved oh so, so much. The look that he saw whenever Mass was sparring with him and other states. The look he saw when Mass was causing chaos and giving Gov a migraine. The look he saw way back then before the Revolution, when they had first met and Mass thought that PA would be a threat to the others. Damn how he has fallen for this man…..

Pennsylvania was so lost in his thoughts of Massachusetts that he couldn’t brace himself when the latter tackled him to the couch, successfully pinning him down and playfully hitting him with a nearby pillow. They both laughed and struggled as this playful fighting they had grown to love continued. As a last resort, PA decided to fight dirty and kissed Massachusetts deep on the mouth, pinning him down whilst doing so.

Mass wraps his arms and legs around PA’s torso, groaning softly as he feels PA’s hands massage into his upper back. He quickly flips their positions again, this time pinning Penn to the couch and gently biting and kissing at his neck, which earned a sharp intake of breath and a low whimper from the taller state. PA’s hands rested on the Bay State’s waist whilst gently gripping his shirt.

This continues for a few minutes before they are both interrupted by the sound of Virginia clearing his throat.

"Well as much as I love the sight of my two handsome fiancés kissing, dinner is ready and I need you both to come help set the table." said Virginia with a teased lilt to his voice.

Penn and Mass both blushed brightly and groaned fondly at their fiancé. They both begrudgingly got up, untangling limbs and wiping spit from their mouths (hehehehehHEEEE-). They both wandered into the kitchen, each kissing Virginia on the cheek as they walked past.

After they had all settled down for dinner, they all talked about their days as they ate. Virginia had made chicken noodle soup to the delight of all three, as it was a favorite amongst the three of them. All of their ears perked up when Massachusetts received a phone call from the school he worked at part-time.

"Who’s that?" Penn asked, clearly being unhappy with their dinner being interrupted. He didn’t say anything though since he knew how special the job was to his fiancé.

"The school. Some kids were turnin’ in late work, nothin’ much." Mass was very quickly scrolling through and responding to messages when Ginny reached over and gently placed a hand on top of Mass’s, using the other to take the phone from Mass’s hand and put it on the counter. Mass gave a light glare to Ginny, who only rolled his eyes lovingly.

"Ya can respond to that stuff later hun. You’ve been workin’ all day, and it’s time for you to take a break." Virginia calmly said, though there was an undertone that told both Mass and Penn that there would be no room for argument.

"Fine…." Mass really wanted to answer those messages and look over the students’ work, but deep down, he (begrudgingly) knew that Ginny was right. He still couldn’t help but feel bad though.

Penn kissed Mass on the cheek softly, making Mass blush brightly. "He’s right, chickadee. Ya need a break."

Mass grumbled a bit under his breath, but a soft glare from both fiancés shut him up. They all finished their food and headed up to their room to go to sleep (or to just relax).

They all lay down, Mass laying in between his fiancés and cuddling into them. He snaked his arms around Pennsylvania to untie his hair, letting it flow freely. Penn sighs softly as he feels Mass gently rub at his scalp, melting into the nice feeling. Mass chuckles softly when he feels Virginia cuddle closer to him from behind.

"You both are so clingy…" he teased, though it was purely out of affection. He reaches back to grab Ginny’s hand and holds it close to him after placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. Mass chuckles once again when he hears (and feels!) Virginia’s embarrassed but lovestruck huff against his neck.

"Yeah, but you love us/it." said the two taller states in unison.

"yeah…..yeah I do…."

————————

@crazedstoryteller and @godedraws since I know y’all live, laugh, love this damn ship and breathe it like it’s oxygen <3 /lhj

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt #wttsh

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eurovision-revisited · 1 month ago

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Eurovision 2008 - Number 36 - Nevena Tsoneva - "Не изчезвай"

youtube

This is one of the first footsteps in the career of a Bulgarian superstar. She'd been singing in the clubs and bars of Sevlievo alongside her father from the age of six. He pushed her and by the age of thirteen, she was already recording her first album. She was also winning local singing festivals and competitions. Nevena was still performing alongside her father at this point.

Then came the first series of the Bulgarian incarnation of Pop Idol in 2007. It was a long, multi-round competition in which she sang in several different styles. She won by singing a version of Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You arranged for a brass band. No really.

youtube

The prize for winning was a recording contract with Virginia Records. A single and another album followed in 2007, before Nevena and her father tried to get her out of that contract. Lawyers were involved.

While that was going on, there was time to try to launch Nevena internationally by representing Bulgaria at Eurovision. For that she had a song written by Karla Rahal, Bulgarian singer and actress alongside successful producer Miro Gechev aka Miro Gee and with words by singer/song-writer/actress/personality Vanya Shtereva. This was a starry team to have behind her

The song was Не изчезвай (Ne izchezvay/Don't Disappear) and it got fast-tracked straight into the final as the song was produced by the TV company, BNT. It's a love ballad with Nevena pleading with a lover not to go, not to vanish from her life. Something has clearly gone wrong but Nevena is forgiving, reassuring. The emotion builds with the power although there is no resolution. Did he stay? Did he go? Probably the latter given that Nevena seems to be abandoning hope at the end.

It's very much a Eurovision-ready ballad. Big, bold, well sung throughout. However Eurovision was heading in a different direction in 2008 and the result for Nevena was disappointing in a competition surrounded by other acts who had already been selected for the final by a popular vote. Like the Big Four at Eurovision, that doesn't lead to a good outcome. Nevena was seventh of the twelve acts in the final, although she did end up with nine percent of the televote - it was tight at the top.

By this point though, a poor national final result on the biggest indoor stage in Bulgaria wasn't a problem. A series of hit singles followed in 2008 as well as awards for her album and her singles. That carried into 2009 through to 2011. She had a short break before coming back in 2013. Since then she's had peaks and troughs, but her published output continues to this day as do her performances on her own tours and at festivals. She sings almost anything from pop to traditional Bulgarian folk music. Nevena has also started writing her own songs.

This is Жена (Jena/Woman) performed live by Nevena in Varna as part of her 2024 tour.

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#Youtube #esc 2008 #esc #eurovision #eurovision song contest #Belgrade #Belgrade 2008 #national finals #EuroBGVision 2008 #Bulgaria #Nevena Tsoneva #Karla Rahal #Miro Gechev #Vanya Shtereva

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vncptk · 1 year ago

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bio/cv

BIO: Born in 1994 in Genova, Italy to two Ukrainian immigrants. Veronica has found herself to be attracted to the world of art since an early age. interested in music, painting, sculpture, drawing and in the recent years; digital media. In 2017 she moved to Aberdeen in Scotland and started studying at gray's school of art in the contemporary art practice course. She started specialising in video, digital art, and installations. Her passion for sound art and electronic music has moved into a discovery of the art of vjing. After graduating in 2021 with First Class Honours she has moved to the city of Edinburgh to continue her art career. Veronica also freelances as a poster and cover art designer.

Veronica is part of the audiovisual duo mutomajor, of the creative collective PowerPot and Ukrainian events and radio Pentane Cast.

🦠 Live VJ sets- Hanoi Monsoon Fesival, 21 and 22/10/2023

🦠 Live performance and installation - The Field of Heritage, Monsoon Festival, Hanoi Vietnam 15/10/2023 (British Council x Vietnam Season 2023)

🦠 Live VJ set - Animal Farm: Klangkuenstler, SWG3 Glasgow, 15/09/2023

🦠 Live VJ set - Microsteria. 17/03/2023 Summerhall, Edinburgh

🦠Spotify canvas + album art for Narciss and Nasty, released by Warner Music 02/2023

🦠Boiler Room video for Transmoderna / Dixon , 02/2023

🦠Live VJ set for Myriad, as mutomajor, Glasgow 21/10/2022

🦠Live VJ set for Plant Bass’d - DJ MELL G, Glasgow 14/10/2022

🦠Visuals/performance for EYVE, Cryptic Nights, Glasgow 13/10/2022

🦠Live VJ set Edinburgh Disco Lovers 01/10/2022

🦠Live VJ set for Cultivate Festival, (LF SYSTEM, Patrick Topping, OBSKÜR, Airwolf Paradise, Rebuke, etc) Aberdeen 24-25/09/2022

🦠Live VJ set - Shoot Your Shot - fka.m4a, Glasgow 17/09/2022

🦠Live VJ set - Circle, EPiKA , Edinburgh 17/06/2022

🦠 Commission for Fermnywoods Contemporary Art “Lisovyk” 05/2022

🦠Live visuals for TontoTechno at Mash House, Edinburgh, 21/05/2022

🦠Live visuals for CULTIVATE festival in Aberdeen 15/05/2022 (visuals for Hannah Laing, Liam Doc, Ross from Friends, SKREAM)

🦠 HERETIK audio-visual live performance at Sonica Festival, Glasgow 10/03/2022

🦠Group Exhibition Gray’s School of Art, Virtual Degree Show 07/2021

🦠 Group Exhibition “Subterranean Virtualscapes” showcasing Italian Digital artists - Virginia Bianchi Gallery 07/2021

🦠 Interview and cover of a-n Degree Show Guide 2021

🦠 Open Call- Sonic Bites (Cryptic) 06/2021

🦠 Art Residency @ Agora Digital Art 02/2021

🦠 Video for tracks: Shawn Cartier , Mod-R , RECON , Kaiser , mk54 , Franck

🦠 Live streams during UK lockdown (Eclipse Lunar , RARE Thursday, TWS , TLF)

🦠 Pre-Degree Show (Gray’s School of Art 2020)

🦠Live VJ set- Monami 003 13/03/2020

🦠Curator for Monami 003- Digital Art Exhibition 13/03/2020

🦠Live VJ set- Bohemia: Asquith (14/02/20),Tunnels Aberdeen

🦠RE:Liminal (Art Gallery) exhibition, Aberdeen 31/01/2020

🦠Live VJ set- Re-Analogue Festival (01/02/2020)

🦠Live VJ set- Monami: IDA (17/01/2020)

🦠Live VJ set - Monami launch night (30/11/2019) Tunnels, Aberdeen

SPAMM.fr featured video 2019

🦠SKO-SCO exhibition in Skopje, Macedonia Jan 2019

Artist statement: I am researching in-depth the issues of filters, selfies and social media curation on people’s psychology and self-esteem. I’m looking into selfie dysmorphia or also known as Snapchat dysmorphia, a psychological condition that causes an individual to prefer the “filtered” version of themselves.

I like to integrate aspects of club culture and underground electronic music which have become a huge part both of my life and my art practice. I want to merge the two together creating a 360º experience for the viewer with uses of vibrant videos and visuals, sound art and electronic music composition.

Corrupting and glitching files is an ongoing theme in my artwork, I want to continue to integrate that into my projects. Together with programs such as “TouchDesigner” I can add yet another layer of distortion to the piece. Through that type of node coding, I can change the reality of the artwork even more giving it another aesthetic and meaning. Combining gifs and altering ready-made videos creates a digital surrealist re-elaboration of existing work. This “recycling” of video material brings a new life to files lost in cyberspace, giving them another opportunity to tell another story. I like to edit the videos I’ve corrupted and created in Premiere Pro, this gives me the opportunity to put together a narrative of these diverse clips.

With the addition of sound art, it creates an audio-visual experience for the viewer that will transport them into a digital world full of glitching colours and powerful images.

Program knowledge: Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Premiere Pro, TouchDesigner, Spark AR, Blender, Audacity

#cv #bio

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gracesentme · 1 year ago

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ALMOST HEAVEN Oh, hi there. I’m in Maryland or West Virginia or Pennsylvania or Virginia. “Virginia is for Lovers.” As a pre-teen I bought that shirt. And wore it. Mom? Dad? Well, you were great parents. No judgment from me. Well, a little judgment. But we kids turned out ok. On the Appalachian Trail, “Virginia is Forever.” People get the Virginia Blues for one reason or another. It’s pretty. Endlessly green. Dense forests. Shenandoah Ri-i-ver 🎵. Long, lush grasses brushing against hikers’s legs and launching ticks onto hikers’ lovely golden doodles’ hair. Record scratches. Music stops. Many sweet baby animals perish on the road. I have taken to yelling “NOOOOO!!!” and crying at the sight of a perfectly-formed spotted fawn looking as if it were sleeping on the roadside. Or a bunny. Any furry animal, really. Even if they are smushed. This is not how the world is supposed to be. But, as for ticks…I hate them so much. They should die. And then I feel a little guilty. Do tick parents think their babies are cute? I need to stop projecting human thoughts and feelings onto creatures, right, Gus? He is nodding. Anyway, the other day I reached to the back of my leg. Bug bite? I couldn’t see it. But it seemed to be growing. Irritating. Itching a bit. When I met up with Jon, I jokingly said, “Check this bug bite out. See if it’s a tick.” I am very, very funny. Jon looked at it and said “We are headed to Urgent Care.” Jon did not get that I was kidding. Kidding! Sure enough, the bite had what looked like the Lyme Disease bullseye. A saving grace. “Here! Look at me! Do something!” Says the bullseye. Back before antibiotics, I believe the “Do something” was “Prepare to perish.” The Urgent Care doc decided that even though the ring was a lighter color than is typical, I needed treatment for Lyme disease because she had a patient with a rash just like that come in a week ago and three days later it was a HUGE brown bullseye and the lady had Lyme disease. Or I could have an infection from itching a bug bite. Either way, antibiotics. All this to say, prayers appreciated. And I want to share a poem I wrote last year. I sucked you to read my poem.You feel sorry for me, so you should read it.

The Unseen

The unseen things are dangerous A vagrant cell A tiny tick A blind spot A river rock

The invisible is glorious A treasured thought A noble spur A faithful angel A steadfast heart

The hoarded things are treacherous Bitter seeds Hate-filled thoughts Rage unchecked Power lust

The treasured gifts are life-giving Sweet memories of Gratitude Kindnesses Mercies new Humility

A cloudless sky Gold swaths of wheat A long road home A soulful hymn All bittersweet

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blueiscoool · 2 years ago

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Rocket Lab Launches Electron Rocket from the US for the First Time

Rocket Lab, a prolific launch company that routinely blasts its towering Electron rockets out of New Zealand, conducted its first liftoff from US soil on Tuesday.

The mission, nicknamed “Virginia is for Launch Lovers,” took off from NASA’s Wallops Flight Facility on Virginia’s northern coast at 6 p.m. ET. The launch of the 60-foot (18.3-meter) rocket delivered three small satellites to orbit for the Earth-imaging company HawkEye 360, which uses a network of spacecraft to pinpoint radio frequencies on Earth in support of military and business projects.

Rocket Lab is among the most successful aerospace start-ups of the modern era. Unlike Elon Musk’s even more prolific rocket company, SpaceX, which builds larger rockets capable of hauling tens of thousands of pounds to orbit, Rocket Lab builds lightweight launch vehicles designed solely to lift small satellites — as compact as a loaf of bread or a refrigerator — to space.

Though the company has been headquartered in the United States since its inception, all of its prior launches have taken place at a pad near Ahuriri Point, located on the east coast of New Zealand’s North Island.

But Rocket Lab has sought for years to bring some of its launch operations stateside, in part so that it can provide services to the US government and military, which make up a lucrative slice of the global launch business customer base.

The NASA Wallops Flight Facility on Wallops Island in Virginia’s Accomack County is one of the oldest launch sites in the world. The first rocket flight took off from the site in 1945, before the creation of the space agency. More recently, the facility has been home to Northrop Grumman’s Antares rocket, which launches cargo resupply missions to the International Space Station.

By Jackie Wattles.

#Rocket Lab #Rocket Lab Launches Electron Rocket from the US for the First Time #Virginia is for Launch Lovers #Wallops Flight Facility #nasa #rocket #rocket launch #space #space mission

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themiamiguide · 3 years ago

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Miami vibes and palm trees 🌴 Save this post to help you find what’s happening in Miami 👩‍🎨 Mar 10-13 @superfineartfair Superfine Art Fair makes a return to Miami Beach atop the iconic 1111 Lincoln Road building, the epicenter of our new Superfine Art Week 🥃 Mar 11 @thewhiskyx whisky festival A haven for whisky fans of all levels, WhiskyX brings together the best experiences of classic distilleries but on a festival-sized scale 🍹 Mar 11-12 @miamirumcongress The Miami Rum Congress makes its long-awaited return for its 3rd year at Hilton Cabana Miami Beach, featuring a selection of premium rum brands 🍻🍔 Mar 12 @smorgasburgmiami The largest open-air food market in America will launch in Miami in the heart of Wynwood on Saturday 🎶🎷 Mar 12 – 13 @jazzgardens Jazz in the Gardens lineup for the 15th anniversary of the incredibly popular jazz and R&B music festival 🏐 Mar 12-13 @modelvolleyball BANG Model Volleyball takes places once a year in Miami Beach featuring top models and professional volleyball players 🎭💃🏻 March 13 @carnavalmiami Calle Ocho Music Festival is the world’s largest Latin music festival in the US. Stroll around 20 blocks of Little Havana filled with music & food 🎸🌴 March 11-13 @virginiakeygrassroots The 9th Annual Virginia Key GrassRoots Festival of Music & Dance is a 3-day music & arts festival on Virginia Key Beach Park 😊 Mar 18-20 @wohasu The World Happiness Summit’s fourth edition focusing on resilience taking place at the University of Miami. 🍷 Mar 19-20 Coconut Grove Food & Wine Celebrating its 25th anniversary with a Goombay-inspired celebration of the Grove’s Bahamian roots. 🎶 🔊 Mar 22-27 @miamimusicweek Miami Music Week is one of the world’s most recognized electronic music events 🙌 Mar 25, 26, 27 @Ultra Music Festival Ultra Music Festival, a three-day electronic dance music (EDM) party. Attracting over 70,000 music-lovers ⠀ 📷 @o.malikoff ⠀ #miamibeach #miamievents #miami #miamivibes #miamiflorida #miamicity #visitmiami #exploremiami https://instagr.am/p/Ca44sHXu3Yv/

#miamiguide #miami #florida

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chiseler · 4 years ago

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The Mysterious Death of a Hollywood Director

This is the tale of a very famous Hollywood mogul and a not-so-famous movie director. In May of 1933 they embarked together on a hunting trip to Canada, but only one of them came back alive. It’s an unusual tale with an uncertain ending, and to the best of my knowledge it’s never been told before.

I. The Mogul

When we consider the factors that enabled the Hollywood studio system to work as well as it did during its peak years, circa 1920 to 1950, we begin with the moguls, those larger-than-life studio chieftains who were the true stars on their respective lots. They were tough, shrewd, vital, and hard working men. Most were Jewish, first- or second-generation immigrants from Europe or Russia; physically on the small side but nonetheless formidable and – no small thing – adaptable. Despite constant evolution in popular culture, technology, and political and economic conditions in their industry and the outside world, most of the moguls who made their way to the top during the silent era held onto their power and wielded it for decades. Their names are still familiar: Zukor, Goldwyn, Mayer, Jack Warner and his brothers, and a few more. And of course, Darryl F. Zanuck. In many ways Zanuck personified the common image of the Hollywood mogul. He was an energetic, cigar-chewing, polo mallet-swinging bantam of a man, largely self-educated, with a keen aptitude for screen storytelling and a well-honed sense of what the public wanted to see. Like Charlie Chaplin he was widely assumed to be Jewish, and also like Chaplin he was not, but in every other respect Zanuck was the very embodiment of the dynamic, supremely confident Hollywood showman.

In the mid-1920s he got a job as a screenwriter at Warner Brothers, at a time when that studio was still something of a podunk operation. The young man succeeded on a grand scale, and was head of production before he was 30 years old. Ironically, the classic Warners house style, i.e. clipped, topical, and earthy, often dark and sometimes grimly funny, as in such iconic films as The Public Enemy, I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, and 42nd Street, was established not by Jack, Harry, Sam, or Albert Warner, but by Darryl Zanuck, who was the driving force behind those hits and many others from the crucial early talkie period. He played a key role in launching the gangster cycle and a new wave of sassy show biz musicals. At some point during 1932-33, however, Zanuck realized he would never rise above his status as Jack Warner’s right-hand man and run the studio, no matter how successful his projects proved to be, because of two insurmountable obstacles: 1) his name was not Warner, and 2) he was a Gentile. Therefore, in order to achieve complete autonomy, Zanuck concluded that he would have to start his own company.

In mid-April of 1933 he picked a public fight with Jack Warner over a staff salary issue, then abruptly resigned. Next, he turned his attention to setting up a company in partnership with veteran producer Joseph Schenck, who was able to raise sufficient funds to launch the new concern. And then, Zanuck invited several associates from Warner Brothers to accompany him on an extended hunting trip in Canada.

Going into the wilderness and killing wild game, a pastime many Americans still regard as a routine, unremarkable form of recreation, is also of course a conspicuous show of machismo. But in this realm, as with his legendary libido, Zanuck was in a class by himself. He had been an enthusiastic hunter most of his life, dating back to his boyhood in Nebraska. Once he became a big wheel at Warners in the late ’20s he took to organizing high-style duck-hunting expeditions: the young executive and his fellow sportsmen would travel to the appointed location in private railroad cars, staffed by uniformed servants. Heavy drinking on these occasions was not uncommon. (Inevitably, film buffs will recall The Ale & Quail Club from Preston Sturges’ classic comedy The Palm Beach Story, but DFZ and his pals were not cute old character actors, and their bullets were quite real.) Members of Zanuck’s studio entourage were given to understand that participation in these outings was de rigueur if they valued their positions, and expected desirable assignments in the future. Director Michael Curtiz, who had no fondness for hunting, remembered the trips with distaste, and recalled that on one occasion he was nearly shot by a casting director who had no idea how to properly handle a gun.

But ducks were just the beginning. In 1927 Zanuck took his wife Virginia on an African safari. In Kenya Darryl bagged a rhinoceros and posed for a photo with his wife, crouched beside the rhino’s carcass. Virginia, an erstwhile Mack Sennett bathing beauty and former leading lady to Buster Keaton, appears shaken. Her husband looks exhilarated. During this safari Zanuck also killed an elephant. He kept the animal’s four feet in his office on the Warners lot, and used them as ashtrays. If any animal lover dared to express dismay, the Hollywood sportsman would retort: “It was him or me, wasn’t it?” Zanuck made several forays to Canada with his coterie in this period, gunning for grizzly bears. Director William “Wild Bill” Wellman, who was more of an outdoorsman than Curtiz, once went along, but soon became irritated with Zanuck’s bullying. The two men got into a drunken fistfight the night before the hunting had even begun. In the course of the ensuing trip the hunting party was snowbound for three days; Zanuck sprained his ankle while trailing a grizzly; the horse carrying medical supplies vanished; and Wellman got food poisoning. “It was the damnedest trip I’ve ever seen,” the director said later, “but Zanuck loved it.”

Now that Zanuck had severed his ties with the Warner clan and was on the verge of a new professional adventure, a trip to Canada with a few trusted associates would be just the ticket. This time the destination would be a hunting ground on the banks of the Canoe River, a tributary of the Columbia River, 102 miles north of Revelstoke, British Columbia, a city about 400 miles east of Vancouver. There, in a remote scenic area far from any paved roads, telephones, or other niceties of modern life, the men could discuss Zanuck’s new production company and, presumably, their own potential roles in it. Present on the expedition were screenwriter Sam Engel, director Ray Enright, 42nd Street director Lloyd Bacon, producer (and former silent film comedian) Raymond Griffith, and director John G. Adolfi, best known at the time for his work with English actor George Arliss. Adolfi, who was around 50 years old and seemingly in good health, would not return.

II. The Director

Even dedicated film buffs may draw a blank when the name John Adolfi is mentioned. Although he directed more than eighty films over a twenty-year period beginning in 1913, most of those films are now lost. He worked in every genre, with top stars, and made a successful transition from silent cinema to talkies. He seems to have been a well-respected but self-effacing man, seldom profiled in the press.

According to his tombstone Adolfi was born in New York City in 1881, but the exact date of his birth is one of several mysteries about his life. His father, Gustav Adolfi, was a popular stage comedian and singer who emigrated to the U.S. from Germany in 1879. Gustav performed primarily in New York and Philadelphia, and was known for such roles as Frosch the Jailer in Strauss’ Die Fledermaus. But he was a troubled man, said to be a compulsive gambler, and after his wife Jennie died (possibly of scarlet fever) it appears his life fell apart. Gustav’s singing voice gave out, and then he died suddenly in Philadelphia in October 1890, leaving John and his siblings orphaned. (An obituary in the Philadelphia Jewish Exponent reported that Gustav suffered a stroke, but family legend suggests he may have committed suicide.) After a difficult period John followed in his father’s footsteps and launched a stage career, and was soon working opposite such luminaries of the day as Ethel Barrymore and Dustin Farnum. Early in the new century the young actor wed Pennsylvania native Florence Crawford; the marriage would last until his death.

When the cinema was still in its infancy stage performers tended to regard movie work as slumming, but for whatever reason John Adolfi took the plunge. He made his debut before the cameras around 1907, probably at the Vitagraph Studio in Brooklyn. There he appeared as Tybalt in J. Stuart Blackton’s 1908 Romeo and Juliet , with Paul Panzer and Florence Lawrence in the title roles. He worked at the Edison Studio for director Edwin S. Porter, and at Biograph in a 1908 short called The Kentuckian which also featured two other stage veterans, D.W. Griffith and Mack Sennett. Most of Adolfi’s work as a screen actor was for the Éclair Studio in Fort Lee, New Jersey, the first film capital. The bulk of this company’s output was destroyed in a vault fire, but a 1912 adaptation of Robin Hood in which Adolfi appeared survives. That same year he also appeared in a famous docu-drama, as we would call it, Saved from the Titanic. This ten-minute short premiered less than a month after the Titanic disaster, and featured actress Dorothy Gibson, who actually survived the voyage, re-enacting her experience while wearing the same clothes she wore in the lifeboat. (This film, unfortunately, is among the missing.) After appearing in dozens of movies Adolfi moved behind the camera.

Much of his early work as a director was for a Los Angeles-based studio called Majestic, where he made crime dramas, Westerns, and comedies, films with titles like Texas Bill’s Last Ride and The Stolen Radium. In 1914 the company had a new supervisor: D. W. Griffith, now the top director in the business, who had just departed Biograph. Adolfi was one of the few Majestic staff directors who kept his job under the new regime. A profile in the February 1915 issue of Photoplay describes him as “a tallish, good-looking man, well-knit and vigorous, dark-haired and determined; his mouth and chin suggest that their owner expects (and intends) to have his own way unless he is convinced that the other fellow’s is better.” It was also reported that Adolfi had developed something of a following as an actor, but that he dropped out of the public eye when he became a director. Presumably, that’s what he wanted.

Adolfi left Majestic after three years, worked at Fox Films for a time as a staff director, then freelanced. During the remainder of the silent era he guided some of the screen’s legendary leading ladies: Annette Kellerman (Queen of the Sea, 1918), Marion Davies (The Burden of Proof, 1918), Mae Marsh (The Little ‘Fraid Lady, 1920), Betty Blythe (The Darling of the Rich, 1922), and Clara Bow (The Scarlet West, 1925). Not one of these films survives. A profile published in the New York World-Telegram during his stint at Fox reported that Adolfi was well-liked by his employees. He was “reticent when the conversation turned toward himself, but frank and outspoken when it concerned his work. Mr. Adolfi is not only a director who is skilled in the technique of his craft; he is also a deep student of human nature.” Asked how he felt about the cinema’s potential, he replied, with unconscious irony, “it is bound to live forever.”

III. The Talkies

In spring of 1927 Adolfi was offered a job at Warner Brothers. His debut feature for the studio What Happened to Father? (now lost) was a success, or enough of one anyway to secure him a professional foothold, and he worked primarily at WB thereafter. Thus he was fortuitously well-positioned for the talkie revolution, for although talking pictures were not invented at the studio it was Sam Warner and his brothers, more than anyone else, who sold an initially skeptical public on the new medium. After Adolfi had proven himself with three talkie features Darryl Zanuck handed him an expensive, prestige assignment, a lavish all-star revue entitled The Show of Shows which featured every Warners star from John Barrymore to Rin-Tin-Tin.

Other important assignments followed. In March of 1930 a crime melodrama called Penny Arcade opened on Broadway. It was not a success, but when Al Jolson saw it he sensed that the story had screen potential. He purchased the film rights at a bargain rate and then re-sold the property to his home studio, Warner Brothers. Adolfi was chosen to direct, but was doubtless surprised to learn that Jolson had insisted that two of the actors from the Broadway production repeat their performances before the cameras. One of the pair, Joan Blondell, had already appeared in three Vitaphone shorts to good effect, but the other, James Cagney, had never acted in a movie. Any doubts about Jolson’s instincts were quickly dispelled. Rushes of the first scenes featuring the newcomers so impressed studio brass that both were signed to five-year contracts. While Adolfi can’t be credited with discovering the duo, the film itself, re-christened Sinners’ Holiday,remains his strongest surviving claim to fame: he guided Jimmy Cagney’s screen debut.

At this point the director formed a professional relationship that would shape the rest of his career. George Arliss was a veteran stage actor who went into the movies and unexpectedly became a top box office draw. He was, frankly, an unlikely candidate for screen stardom. Already past sixty when talkies arrived, Arliss was a short, dignified man who resembled a benevolent gargoyle. But he was also a journeyman actor, a seasoned professional who knew how to command attention with a sudden sharp word or a raised eyebrow. Like Helen Hayes he was valued in Hollywood as a performer of unblemished reputation who lent the raffish film industry a touch of Class, in every sense of the word.

In 1929 Arliss appeared in a talkie version of Disraeli, a role he had played many times on stage, and became the first Englishman to take home an Academy Award for Best Actor. Thereafter he was known for stately portrayals of History’s Great Men, such as Voltaire and Alexander Hamilton, as well as fictional kings, cardinals, and other official personages. The old gentleman formed a close alliance with Darryl Zanuck, whom he admired, and was in turn granted privileges highly unusual for any actor at the time. Arliss had final approval of his scripts and authority over casting. He was also granted the right to rehearse his selected actors for two weeks before filming began. All that was left for the film’s director to do, it would seem, would be to faithfully record what his star wanted. Not many directors would accept this arrangement, but John Adolfi, who according to Photoplay “was determined to have his own way unless he is convinced that the other fellow’s is better,” clearly had no problem with it. His first film with Arliss was The Millionaire, released in May 1931; and in the two years that followed Adolfi directed eight more features, six of which were Arliss vehicles. He had found his niche in Hollywood.

One of Adolfi’s last jobs sans Arliss was a B-picture called Central Park, which reunited the director with Joan Blondell. It’s a snappy, topical, crazy quilt of a movie that packs a lot of incident into a 58-minute running time. Central Park was something of a sleeper that earned its director positive critical notices, and must have afforded him a lively holiday from those polite period pieces for the exacting Mr. Arliss.

In spring of 1933, after completing work on the Arliss vehicle Voltaire, Adolfi accompanied Darryl Zanuck and his entourage to British Columbia to hunt bears. Arliss intended to follow Zanuck to his new company, while Adolfi in turn surely expected to follow the star and continue their collaboration. Things didn’t work out that way.

IV. The Hunting Trip

It’s unclear how long the men were hunting before tragedy struck. On Sunday, May 14th, newspapers reported that film director John G. Adolfi had died the previous week – either on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on which paper one consults – at a hunting camp near the Canoe River. All accounts give the cause of death as a cerebral hemorrhage. According to the New York Herald-Tribune the news was conveyed in a long-distance phone call from Darryl Zanuck to screenwriter Lucien Hubbard in Los Angeles. Hubbard subsequently informed the press. The N.Y. Times reported that the entire hunting party (Zanuck, Engel, Enright, Bacon, and Griffith) accompanied Adolfi’s remains in a motorboat down the Columbia River to Revelstoke. From there the body was sent to Vancouver, B.C., where it was cremated. Write-ups of Adolfi’s career were brief, and tended to emphasize his work with George Arliss, though his recent success Central Park was widely noted. John’s widow Florence was mentioned in the Philadelphia City News obituary but otherwise seems to have been ignored; the couple had no children.

V. The Aftermath

Darryl F. Zanuck went on to found Twentieth Century Pictures, a name suggested by his hunting companion Sam Engel. One of the company’s biggest hits in its first year of operation was The House of Rothschild, starring George Arliss and directed by Alfred Werker. The venerable actor returned to England not long afterwards and retired from filmmaking in 1937. In his second book of memoirs, published three years later, Arliss devotes several pages of warm praise to Zanuck, but refers only fleetingly to the man who directed seven of his films, John Adolfi, and misspells his name.

In 1935 Zanuck merged his Twentieth Century Pictures with Fox Films, and created one of the most successful companies in Hollywood history. He would go on to produce many award-winning classics, including The Grapes of Wrath, Laura, and All About Eve. Zanuck’s trusted associates at Twentieth-Century Fox in the company’s best years included Sam Engel, Raymond Griffith, and Lloyd Bacon, all survivors of the Revelstoke trip. Personal difficulties and vast changes in the film industry began to affect Zanuck’s career in the 1950s. He left the U.S. for Europe but continued to make films, and sporadically managed to exercise control over the company he founded. He died in 1979.

In 1984 a onetime screenwriter and film critic named Leonard Mosley, who had known Zanuck slightly, published a biography entitled Zanuck: The Rise and Fall of Hollywood’s Last Tycoon. Aside from his movie reviews most of Mosley’s published work concerned military matters, specifically pertaining to the Second War World. His Zanuck bio reveals a grasp of film history that is shaky at times, for the book has a number of obvious errors. Nevertheless, it was written with the cooperation of Darryl’s son Richard, his widow Virginia, and many of the mogul’s close associates, so whatever its errors in chronology or studio data the anecdotes concerning Zanuck’s personal and professional activities are unquestionably well-sourced.

When Mosley’s narrative reaches May 1933, the point when Zanuck is on the verge of founding his new company, we’re told that he and several associates decided to go on a hunting trip to Alaska. The location is not correct, but chronologically – and in one other, unmistakable respect – there can be no doubt that this refers to the Revelstoke trip. From Mosley’s book:

“There is a mystery about this trip, and no perusal of Zanuck’s papers or those of his former associates seems to elucidate it,” he writes. “Something happened that changed his whole attitude towards hunting. All that can be gathered from the thin stories that are still gossiped around was that the hunting party went on the track of a polar bear somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness [sic], and when the vital moment came it was Zanuck who stepped out to shoot down the charging, furious animal. His bullet, it is said, found its mark all right, but it did not kill. The polar bear came on, and Zanuck stood his ground, pumping away with his rifle. Only this time it was not ‘him or me,’ but ‘him’ and someone else. The wounded and enraged bear, still alive and still charging, swerved around Zanuck and swiped with his great paw at one of the men standing behind him – and only after it had killed this other man did it fall at last into the snow, and die itself. That’s the story, and no one seems to be able to confirm it nor remember the name of the man who died. The only certain thing is that when Zanuck came back, he announced to Virginia that he had given up hunting. And he never went out and shot a wild animal again, not even a jackrabbit for his supper.”

VI. The Coda

Was John Adolfi killed by a bear? It certainly seems possible, but if so, why didn’t the men in the hunting party simply report the truth? Even if their boss was indirectly responsible, having fired the shots that caused the bear to charge, he couldn’t be blamed for the actions of a dying animal. But it’s also possible the event unfolded like a recent tragedy on the Montana-Idaho border. There, in September 2011, two men named Ty Bell and Steve Stevenson were on a hunting trip. Bell shot what he believed was a black bear. When the bear, a grizzly, attacked Stevenson, Bell fired again – and killed both the bear and his friend.

That seems to be the more likely scenario. If Zanuck fired at the wounded bear, in an attempt to save Adolfi, and killed both bear and man instead, it would perhaps explain a hastily contrived false story. It would most definitely explain the prompt cremation of Adolfi’s body in Vancouver. Back in Hollywood Joe Schenck was busy raising money, and lots of it, to launch Zanuck’s new company. Any unpleasant information about the new company’s chief – certainly anything suggestive of manslaughter – could jeopardize the deal. A man hit with a cerebral hemorrhage in the prime of life is a tragedy of natural causes, but a man sprayed with bullets in a shooting, accidental or not, is something else again. That goes double if alcohol was involved, as it reportedly was on Zanuck’s earlier hunting trips.

Of course, it’s also possible that Adolfi did indeed suffer a cerebral hemorrhage. Like his father.

John G. Adolfi is a Hollywood ghost. Most of his works are lost, and his name is forgotten. (Even George Arliss couldn’t be bothered to spell it correctly.) Every now and then TCM will program one of the Arliss vehicles, or Sinners’ Holiday. Not long ago they showed Adolfi’s fascinating B-picture Central Park, that slam-bang souvenir of the early Depression years in which several plot strands are deftly inter-twined. One of the subplots involves a mentally ill man, a former zoo-keeper who escapes from an asylum and returns to the place where he used to work, the Central Park Zoo. He has a score to settle with an old nemesis, an ex-colleague who tends the big cats. As the story approaches its climax, the escaped lunatic deliberately drags his enemy into the cage of a dangerous lion and leaves him there. In the subsequent, harrowing scene, difficult to watch, the lion attacks and practically kills the poor bastard.

by William Charles Morrow

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My sources for this article, in addition to the Mosley biography cited in the text, include Stephen M. Silverman’s The Fox That Got Away: The Last Days of the Zanuck Dynasty at Twentieth-Century Fox (1988), and Marlys J. Harris’s The Zanucks of Hollywood: The Dark Legacy of an American Dynasty (1989). For material on John Adolfi I made extensive use of the files of the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts. Special thanks to James Bigwood for his prodigious research on the Adolfi family genealogy, and to Mary Maler, John Adolfi’s great-niece, for information she provided on her family.

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blackswaneuroparedux · 5 years ago

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The Many Lives of Lee Miller: Surrealist icon who photographed World War Two

If you were one of the few women photographers accredited by the U.S. Army at the start of World War II, chances were you were far from the front lines. Military regulations at the time dictated that female photojournalists, unlike their male counterparts, were not to enter combat zones.

But Lee Miller, the Poughkeepsie-born photographer and noted Surrealist operating as British Vogue’s war correspondent, was not one to be constrained.

Miller had made a habit of not taking no for an answer long before she accompanied American forces to document scenes such as the Blitz; nurses operating hospitals after D-Day; women serving across the armed forces; and just-liberated concentration camps.

Elizabeth ‘Lee’ Miller was born on the 23 of April 1907 in Poughkeepsie, New York. She was the middle child of Florence and Theodore Miller, a mechanical engineer and avid amateur photographer. She was something of a tomboy, always ready for the next big adventure and to try the biggest stunt.

Her first coup was gracing the cover of U.S. Vogue in 1927 at age 19. Lee Miller was walking down a crowded street in Manhattan. She was ravishingly beautiful: blonde hair stylishly bobbed, lips painted red, her slim figure clad in the latest fashions from Paris.

Perhaps it was Paris she was thinking about so deeply. Whatever it was it absorbs her entirely that as she stepped off the sidewalk she didn’t see a car speeding towards her.

At the last minute a man whisked her to safety. He turns out to be none other than the publisher Condé Montrose Nast. As soon as he saw the woman he saved, he decided she must model for his magazine.

A few short months later, Lee Miller’s face, drawn by Georges Lepape with the New York skyline for a backdrop, stares out from the cover of Vogue.

That cover launched Lee Miller’s modelling career. Within months she became a fixture on the New York social scene, hobnobbing with the likes of Charlie Chaplin, George Gershwin and the Vanderbilts.

Fashion greats such as photographer Edward Steichen zipped her into Lanvin and Lelong, draped her in pearls, swathed her in velvet. In one picture she models a Chanel evening gown covered with geometric embellishments, her body resembling a glorious art-deco building.

Lee was fêted and pursued by suitors. A glassware manufacturer even moulded a champagne coupe in the shape of her breast. It was all very glamorous but, for Lee, not wholly satisfying. Later, remembering her New York years, she said, ‘I looked like an angel but I was a fiend inside.’

This contradiction – stemming from a traumatising childhood into early adulthood,

Her father, Theodore, was an amateur-photographer and had begun to photograph his naked daughter long before that, in 1914, when she was seven. According to Miller herself, in that year, she, then known as Elizabeth, had been sent to stay with family friends while her mother was in hospital.

During the trip, she had been raped by a sailor; the attack left her with gonorrhea. For the next year, the child was subjected to daily douches of potassium permanganate, and k twice-weekly visits to the hospital to have her cervix painted with picric acid. Everything she touched at home was immediately sterilised.

It was during this year that Theodore had begun to photograph his daughter in the nude, his first composition being a take on the French artist Paul Chabas' September Morn, a painting of a nubile girl bathing, which had caused a scandal when it was shown in New York in 1913.

For his own picture, Miller required his daughter to pose, nude but for slippers, in the deep Poughkeepsie snow: the resulting picture was called "December Morn". Theodore made it using a stereoscopic camera, so that, viewed through accompanying glasses, his naked child appeared three-dimensional.

The early childhood experience would plague her throughout her adult life, and arguably cause her to constantly try to reinvent herself, wondering if she ‘ever was meant to fit together’.

Those reinventions – as a key figure in the Surrealist movement, fashion photographer, muse and tormented war correspondent – have made her the subject of plays, film scripts (Nicole Kidman wanted to play her in a film written by David Hare that was never made).

Reinvention of otherworldly beauty was also so evident in all her photographs. But Lee wasn’t happy as a model. A sketch she drew in her journal in 1930 shows a woman standing against a studio backdrop, daggers pinning her into place, as another woman in a hat looks on. No wonder, then, that she was hungry to forge her own identity beyond the camera’s frame – a frame that, to a woman who had been looked at by men her entire life, represented an implicit power imbalance.

She gave up her modelling career and set sail for Paris, intending, as she provocatively stated, to ‘enter photography by the back end’.

Bags of confidence, together with letters of introduction from Edward Steichen, convinced Man Ray to take her on as his assistant. He was instantly enchanted and their professional relationship blossomed into a love affair so tumultuous that it affected them both for years afterwards.

Miller was to befriend other iconic Parisian artists like Max Ernst and Picasso and intellectuals like Jean Cocteau. She would vacation with some of the most prominent figures in the art world at the time. Picasso would paint Lee six times and the two remained friends throughout the rest their lives. Picasso wanted to bed her but she held her distance.

It was Lee Miller, not Man Ray, who discovered the photography technique known at "solarisation" bu turning on a light in their darkroom before the negatives had fully developed. It creates a dark line around the subject of the photograph and created groundbreaking images at the time. Ray is often credited with this discovery and he used it often in his own work, but it was actually Lee Miller who made the first picture of its kind on accident.

Man Ray’s portraits of Lee are sensuous and romantic, but even he never seemed able to see her as a whole, often depicting her body broken up into pieces.

He painted her lips floating disembodied in a mackerel sky in ‘Observatory Time: The Lovers’, and in his photographs her breasts, neck and eyes are removed from their context, palpably humming with sexual energy, the ultimate surrealist objects.

In December 1930, Miller's father, Theodore, had come to Paris from Poughkeepsie, New York, to see his daughter. Like any good parent might, he had taken pictures of her. Unlike most fathers, these photographs were shot in the nude, in the bathtub of their shared hotel suite. Lee Miller was 23.

The shots Man Ray took of Lee and Theodore Miller, she in a demure print frock and curled, child-like, in her father's lap, are deeply weird. They seem less of a father and daughter than of an older man and his much younger lover.

Perhaps Ray had heard rumours that Theodore had been Lee's actual childhood abuser, or he may have imagined it for himself. (No charges were ever brought against the unidentified sailor-rapist.)

In terms of age, Ray's own relationship with Lee was also ambiguously paternal: he was 17 years older than her, a pattern that would mark all her relationships with men. At any rate, Theodore and Ray seem to have gotten along famously. Together, the two men photographed Lee, nude, lolling on a bed with three other naked women.

It is hard not to see all this in psychological terms, if not in moral ones. Cursed with a perfect beauty, Miller became a focus of Ray’s internal need to violate. For Man Ray, this was aggravated by the masculine drive to compete.

If the countless celebrities photographed by Man Ray – Wallis Simpson, Aldous Huxley, Virginia Woolf, Picasso, Chanel, Schiaparelli, himself – the one he went back to most obsessively was Lee Miller. You can see why. Miller was a physical ideal, the kind of perfectly moulded, ice-blonde beauty beloved of Hitchcock; flawless, or at least imaginably so.

Lee Miller and Man Ray's exciting, passionate and tumultuous relationship ended and Man Ray did not take it well. In fact, one of his most famous pieces, Indestructible Object, includes her eye ticking on a metronome.

Ray's instructions to fans on how to make their own version of the work suggest the violence of his anatomical method. "Cut out the eye from a photograph of one who has been loved but is seen no more," he writes, bitterly. "Attach the eye to the pendulum of a metronome and regulate the weight to suit the tempo desired. Keep going to the limit of endurance. With a hammer well-aimed, try to destroy the whole at a single blow."

That done, the photographer, ever the drama queen, sat for a self-portrait called "Suicide" with a noose around his neck and a gun pointed at his head.

Hell hath no fury like a Surrealist scorned.

When their affair ended, Lee moved back to New York and opened her own studio, where she worked ‘in the style of Man Ray’, as she advertised in a bold appropriation of his name.

She hardly needed the help. Clients such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Elizabeth Arden paid handsomely for pictures by the woman who was herself ‘one of the most photographed girls in Manhattan’.

But in just a few years the Lee Miller Studio closed when Lee married an Egyptian, Aziz Eloui Bey, and moved with him to Cairo. She felt stunted by Egypt’s restrictive society but produced some of her best work there, driving into the desert with her trusty cocktail kit in the boot to take photographs of the landscape.

Her husband, however, let Lee spend extended holidays in Europe with the Surrealist set, where she met painter and art collector Roland Penrose, the man who eventually became her second husband. They would be happily married for the rest of their lives until death. She at last found someone who accepted her whole. But it still wouldn’t be enough for Lee.

By 1939, it was time for another reinvention. War broke out, the Blitz rained down on London, and Lee, urged on by her friend, the photojournalist, collaborator and sometime lover David Scherman, got accredited as a war correspondent for (of all places) British Vogue.

Her editor, Audrey Withers, expected soft-focus photo-essays about war privation, but Lee had other ideas.

Her reportage was gruesome, intimate and important. On the front lines at the siege of Saint-Malo, Lee documented the Americans’ first use of napalm and described a company ready for action, ‘grenades hanging on their lapels like Cartier clips, menacing bunches of death.’

She shot close-ups of the faces of German Nazis who had committed suicide in Leipzig and took powerful portraits of starving prisoners following the liberation of Dachau and Buchenwald.

When she arrived in Paris during the Liberation the first thing she did was go to Picasso's studio. There they are pictured smiling holding each other tight, probably beyond relieved that they were both alive. Picasso is quoted saying in astonishment "the first Allied soldier I should see is a woman- and she is you."

When Hitler fled Munich at the end of the war, Lee and Scherman were the first of the press corps to reach his apartment, where they drank his cognac and napped in his bed. They propped a picture of Hitler on the rim of his bathtub, set Lee’s dirty combat boots on the bathroom rug and took the now-famous photograph of her bathing in Hitler’s tub.

The war made Lee feel alive.

The image of Miller in Hitler’s tub was the one that led to the end of her Vogue career. The public was outraged at what they interpreted as flippant disregard for the ravages of war. Being accused of insensitivity inevitably took its toll, but it was what she saw, felt, and experienced during those years that would eventually send her into a struggle with depression.

She loved her uniform, tailored on Savile Row. She loved roughing it: washing in her helmet and subsisting on K-rations. And for a woman always searching for meaning in her life, documenting the war for readers back home gave her purpose. ‘Believe this,’ she cabled to Vogue, and the pictures she sent back were indeed horrifying. They came at a cost: Lee was never able to distance herself from her subject. She threw her entire self into her work.

Lee suffered mightily postwar.

The trauma of what she had seen haunted her for the rest of her life. Today we would call it PTSD. In postwar England, Lee was told by her doctor ‘we cannot keep the world permanently at war just to provide you with excitement’.

On her return to London after the war, she was feted. "Who else has written equally well about GIs and Picasso?" her editor said. "Who else can swing from the Siegfried line one week to the new hip line the next?"

Desperate to ward off a sense of anticlimax, she returned to eastern Europe. But soon she was pregnant at 40 years old and finding the prospect of motherhood scarier than any front line.

She missed the action, despite suffering post-traumatic stress. She also felt increasingly sidelined: in staid, patriarchal postwar Britain, her husband was the one in demand.

Finding the inspiration to write and take photographs became harder and eventually she gave it up entirely, hiding more than 60,000 negatives and contact sheets in the attic and becoming so tight-lipped on the subject that even her own son, Antony, knew nothing about her war work until he was an adult. An entire piece of herself was boxed up and placed out of sight.

Depressed at her loss of looks and gain in weight, she found solace in drink and cooking elaborate gourmet meals for her guests at Farley Farm House in East Sussex, her home until her death in 1977.

She could have written a very good cookbook by all accounts. She was a virtuoso chef.

She remained friends with the Paris crowd. In particular she was close to Picasso. Lee Miller's son recalls going over to Picasso's home as a child. He even wrote a book about the time he bit Picasso, as a child, called ‘The Boy Who Bit Picasso’.

Lee even reconciled with Man Ray. Lee and Man Ray last met in London in 1975, at Man Ray's retrospective at the Institute of Contemporary Arts. By now, he was in a wheelchair and Lee Miller was a drunk.

Lee Miller died of cancer in 1977. By the end she was overweight, an alcoholic, ravaged by depression, and tortured by her husband’s affair with a trapeze artist. Anyone meeting Lee Miller then would have been surprised to know that she was once considered the most beautiful woman in the world, second only to Greta Garbo.

But just as she, and her reputation, went out of sight for years. There has in recent years been a resurgence of interest in Lee’s photography, bringing her legacy, and her enduring appeal, further into the light.

As a female icon she never saw herself as a victim. It's remarkable that Miller was able to delight in her body (and in the pleasure others took from it). She saw sex and love as two very different beasts. She was very comfortable living out the truth as she believed it."Emotionally, I need to be completely absorbed in some work or in a man I love," she wrote, but she didn't see why going to bed with someone should upset whichever man she was currently in love with.

Lee insisted that she couldn’t be kept and that women should be able to be as sexually free as men. She was radical, and people made her suffer for it - Man Ray included.

Strikingly beautiful, she was used to submitting to the male gaze and even subverting it. A less spirited woman might have been crushed by these alpha males, but Miller, unfazed, determinedly transformed herself from passive model to active artist.

Her son, Antony Penrose, observed in his 1998 biography of his mother, The Legendary Lee Miller: Photographer, 1907–1977, her unique background capturing uncanny moments and haunting, bizarre portraits during the heyday of the Surrealist movement served her well in war photography. Penrose wrote:

“Unexpectedly, among the reportage, the mud, the bullets, we find photographs where the unreality of war assumes an almost lyrical beauty....On reflection I realise that the only meaningful training of a war correspondent is to first be a Surrealist—then nothing in life is too unusual.”

But it was the very nature of unconventionality of her career trajectory that hampered her historical reputation.

Her early association with the Paris Surrealists - particularly her role as Man Ray's "perversely enchanting muse" - overshadowed her own artistic accomplishments.

Her abandonment of photography, and the consignment of all her work to her own attic also limited her impact during her lifetime.

Her association with fashion also coloured the interpretation of Miller's work. As her biographer Carolyn Burke states, "to this day, her life inspires features in the same glossy magazines for which she posed...this approach turns the real woman in to a screen onto which beholders project their fantasies", and further perpetuates the legend of Lee Miller as an "American free spirit wrapped in the body of a Greek goddess".

The force of her beauty, effervescent personality and high octane biography will always remain central to interpreting her work.

Today Miller has been recognised as among the most original and ambitious photographic artists of the 20th century, and a subtly transgressive artist, who - as Lynn Hilditch asserts in Lee Miller, Photography, Surrealism and the Second World War - took off from her Surrealist background and "pushed the boundaries both of art and war photography, often using unconventional methods to comment on such multifaceted issues as sex, gender, death, and war"

#lee miller #history #photographer #world war two #art #beauty

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adevotedappraisal · 5 years ago

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Magdalene by FKA Twigs, a review.

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I’ve been learning some shit from women from as long as I’ve been alive. Always some other shit that I never asked for but I got told it. I used to treat them things they said as laws as a child, but I never saw them in a book, so then I stopped believing them. They were always hushed laws though, laws told with squinted eyes and italicized whispers, laws told when no one else was around.

I mean, now of course men make the real laws that we know and live by. Well come on now, we write them on parchment, and display them on lights, we code them into computers, inscribe them on coins and stone. But these women…man women tell you some other shit, like glue shit, in low, muttered tones in the quiet part of the house. Like advice on… well not how the world works, but how to deal with the world when it works against you, and how to make it work for you. But you see, I’ve come to believe that the fairer sex tells you different laws than the vaunted laws and advice of our fathers because they all around see the world differently than men do. They may, in fact, have been harbouring different goals than us all along.

I mean for christssakes us men have our hero’s journey as clear as day, writ large and indelible across history books and entertainment. You could take that Joseph Campbell mono-myth theory and see it expressed in Arthurian swash-buckle, the middle earth ring-slaying of Tolkien, or in the recently concluded tri-trilogy of Star Wars galactic clashes. We’re in the empire business, as Breaking Bad’s Walter White infamously said. But still, the question always lingered to me: what is the heroine’s journey? Is it really just a lady in a knight’s armour? Or some tough-as-nails spy for some interloping government’s intelligence agency, delivering kidney kicks in a designer pencil skirt?

Well, I’ve come to believe that the heroine’s journey is navigating the waves of history we imperial and trans-national men make from our railroads and pipelines, our satellites and wars, them at once preserving a culture and sparking a path and creating a bond between cultures in order for them and their (il)legitimate brood to survive. That old chestnut about how behind every successful man is a woman always unnerved me by its easy adoption. I kept thinking ‘bout that woman. I kept thinking, what the fuck was she thinking?

You see women’s heroes, they ain’t as clear as day to me. They don’t kill the dragon, they don’t save the townspeople, they don’t shoot the Sherriff, or the deputy, or anyone most times. When I ask people in public at my job what super power they would like, most men go for strength, flight, and regenerative abilities (my pick). Most women went with mind reading and flight. In late night conversations though, with the moonlight coming through the white blinds and resting soft on us like so, I sometimes manage to hear that women’s heroes heal and clean the sick of the nation, in sneakers with heels as round as a childhood eraser; they feed a family with one fish and five slices of wonder bread; they would run gambling spots in the back of their house, putting the needle back on the Commodores record and patrolling the perimeter of the smoked-out room with a black .45 nested by their love handles; they climb up flag poles and speak out loud in public for the disposed and teach children those unwritten, floating laws while cloistered in the quiet part of the house.

Although their heroines are sometimes from the top strata of society –a Pharaoh here, an Eleanor Roosevelt there, an Oprah over there—they also name a healthy mix of radicals and weirdos with modest music success, people like Susan B. Anthony, Frida Kahlo, Virginia Woolf, or Nikki Giovanni, I mean did Nina Simone or Janis Joplin even crack the Billboard top ten? Yet there they are, up on the walls of a thousand college dorms across the country. So even though I couldn’t’ve foreseen it, it makes sense that of all the ultra-natural creatures, of all the great conquering kings and divining prophets of the Holy Bible, Mary Magdalene ends up the spirit animal for the album of the year for 2019.

Mary Magdalene was a follower of Jewish Rabbi Jesus during the first century, according to the four Gospels of the New Testament of the Bible, a figure who was present for his miracles, his crucifixion and was the first to witness him after his resurrection. From Pope Gregory I in the sixth century to Pope Paul VI in 1969, the Roman Catholic Church portrayed her as a prostitute, a sinful woman who had seven demons exorcised from her. Medieval legends of the thirteenth century describe her as a wealthy woman who went to France and performed miracles, while in the apocryphal text The Gospel of Mary, translated in the mid-twentieth century, she is Jesus’ most trusted disciple who teaches the other apostles of the savior’s private philosophies.

Due to this range of description from varying figures in society, she gets portrayed in differing ways, by all types of women, each finding a part of Magdalene to explain themselves through. Barbra Hershey, in the first half of Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) plays her as a firm and mysterious guide, a rebellious older cousin almost, while Yvonne Elliman, in Norman Jewison’s 1973 film adaptation of Lloyd Weber’s Jesus Christ Superstar is lovelorn and tender throughout, a proud witness of the Word being written for the first time. In “Mary Magdalene,” FKA Twigs, the Birmingham UK alt-soul singer, describes the woman as a “creature of desire”, and she talks about possessing a “sacred geometry,” and later on in the song she tells us of “a nurturing breath that could stroke you/ divine confidence, a woman’s war, unoccupied history.” Her vocals that sound glassy and spectral in the solemn echoes of the acapella first third, co-produced by Benny Blanco, turn sensual and emotive when the blocky groove kicks in. That groove comes into its own on the Nicolas Jaar produced back third, and when this all is adorned with plucked arpeggios it sounds like an autumnal sister to the wintry prowl of Bjork’s “Hidden Place” from her still excellent Vespertine (2001).

This blending of the affairs of the body and of Christian theology is found in the moody “Holy Terrain” as well. While it is too hermetic and subdued to have been an effective single, it still works really well as an album track. In this arena, Future is not the hopped up king of the club, but a vulnerable star, with shaded eyes and a heart wrapped up in love and chemicals, sending his girl to church with drug money to pay tithes. Over a domesticated trap beat he shows a vulnerable bond that can exist, wailing his sins and his devotion like a tipsy boyfriend does in the middle of a party, or perhaps like John the Baptist did, during one of his frenzied sermons, possessed and wailing “if you pray for me I know you play for keeps, calling my name, calling my name/ taking the feeling of promethazine away.”

Magdalene, the singer’s sophomore release, takes the mysterious power and resonance of this biblical anti-heroine, and involves its songs with her, these emotional, multi-textured songs about fame, pain and the break up with movie star boyfriend Robert Pattinson. With “Sad Day,” Twigs sings with a delicate yet emotional yearning, imbued with a Kate Bush domesticity. The synth pads are a pulsing murmur, and the vocal samples are chopped and rendered into lonely, twisting figures. The drums crash in only every once in a while, just enough to reset the tension and carve out an electronic groove, while the rest of the thing is an exercise in mood and restraint, the production by twigs, Jaar and Blanco, along with Cashmere Cat and Skrillex, leaves her laments cosseted in a floating sound, distant yet dense and tumultuous, the way approaching storm clouds can feel. Meanwhile “Thousand Eyes” is a choir of Twigs, some voices cluttered and glittering, some others echoed and filled with dolour. “If you walk away it starts a thousand eyes,” she sings, the line starting off as pleading advice and by the close of the song ending up a warning in reverb, the vintage synths and updated DAWs used to create these sparse, aural haunts where the choral of shes and the digital ghosts of memory can echo around her whispered confessional.

In many of these divorce albums, the other party’s role in the conflict is laid bare in scathing terms: the wife that “didn’t have to use the son of mine, to keep me in line” from Marvin Gaye’s Here My Dear from 1979; the players who “only love you when they’re playin’” as Stevie Nicks sang on Fleetwood Macs Rumours (1977); or as Beyonce’s Lemonade (2017) charges, the husband that needs “to call Becky with the good hair.” At first though, Twigs is diplomatic, like in “Home with me,” where she lays the conflict on both sides here, expressing the rigours of fame, the miscommunication –accidental or intentional –that fracture relationships, and the violent, tenuous silence of a house where one of the members is in some another country doing god knows what, physically or mentally. “I didn’t know you were lonely, if you’d just told me I’d be home with you,” she sings in the chorus over a lonely piano, while the verse sections have the piano chords flanked by blocks of glitch, and littered with flitched-off synths. Then, the last chorus swirls the words again, along with the strings and horns and everything into a rising crescendo of regret.

Later in the album however, her anger once smoldering is set alight, in the dramatic highlight “Fallen Alien.” Twigs sings with an increasing tension, as her agile voice morphs from confused, pouting girlfriend to towering lady of the manor, launching imprecations towards a past lover and perhaps fame itself. “I was waiting for you, on the outside, don’t tell me what you want ‘cuz I know you lie,” she sings, and, after the tension ratchets up becomes “when the lights are on, I know you, see you’re grey from all the lies you tell,” and then later on we have her sneering out loud “now hold me close, so tender, when you fall asleep I’ll kick you down.” All while pondering pianos drop like rain from an awning, tick-tocking mini-snares and skittering noises flit across the beat like summer insects, the kicks of which are like an insistent, inquisitive knocking at the door, and then there’s that sample, filtered into an incandescent flame, crackling an I FEEL THE LIGHTNING BLAST! all over the song like the arc of a Tesla coil. The song is a shocking rebuke, and it becomes apparent upon replays that the songs are sequenced to lead up to and away from it, the gravitational weight giving a shape and pace to the whole album. Because of this, the other songs on Magdalene have more tempered, subtle electronic hues and tones, as if the seductive future soul of 2013s “Water Me” from EP2, and the inventive, booming experimentation of “Glass & Patron” from 2015s M3LL1SSX, were pursed back and restrained until it was needed most, and this results in an album more accomplished, nuanced and focused than her impressive but inconsistent debut LP1 (reviewed here).

This technique of electronic restraint has shown up in the most recent albums by experimental pioneers, with the sparse, mournful tension of Radiohead’s A Moon Shaped Pool (2017), it’s cold, analog synths and digital embellishments cresting on the periphery of the song, and with Wilco’s Ode to Joy from last year, an album bereft of their lauded static and electric scrawl, mostly embossed in acoustic solitude and brittle, wintery guitar licks. Twigs and her co-producers take the same knack for the most part throughout the album, like with closer “Cellophane,” where the dramatic voice and piano are in the forefront, while effects crunch lightly in the background like static electricity in a stretched sweater, and elsewhere, as the synths of “Daybed” slowly intensify into a sparkling soundscape, as if manufacturing an awakening sunrise through a bedroom window. And it is this seamless melding of organic and electronic instruments, to express these wretched and fleeting emotions of heartbreak that makes this the album of the year.

It makes sense that an artist like FKA Twigs would be drawn to a figure like Mary Magdalene. Of the many Marys in the New Testament, she stuck out as palpably different, or rather, she depicted a differing part of womanhood than the other two. She wasn’t the chaste, life-giving mother of Jesus, or the dutiful Mary of Clopas. Instead, Magdalene was this mixture of sexuality and spirituality, one of those figures that managed to know men and women in equal measure, wrapped up with the blood as well as the flesh. Twigs also played with this enrapturing sexuality in her work, writhing around in bed begging some papi to pacify her and fuck her while she stared at the sun, then making you identify with the lamentations of video girls, and then telling you in two weeks you won’t even recognize who you were seeing before. There was something mysterious and layered to her millennial art-chick sexpot act though, layers that have begun to be revealed with this album.

We realise now, that what she was depicting all along was more like the sexual heat that lays underneath devotion, as opposed to fleeting, mayfly lust, and that she now understands the weight and half-life of love. That is, that beyond the sex and patron and fame there is a near sacred love we build between each other for a while in time, lasting as long as both hands can bear to hold it, and also that the death of a relationship still has the memory of the love created warm within it that then radiates off slow into the air. A love that then falls into our minds for safekeeping dark and unobstructed now, the way Jesus’ blood fell from his wound into Joseph of Arimathea’s grail held aloft.

“I never met a hero like me in a sci-fi,” FKA Twigs sings, an evocative line less so for the hegemonic patriarchy of the worldwide movie and comic book industry suggested by ‘the sci-fi’ here, and more for the ‘hero like me’ part, which suggests she had to make her hero origin story all up, without the scaffolding of centuries of relatable mythologies, presenting us with an avatar of millennial love, in all of its tortured luster. And you hear this type of love in her voice, no longer changed up and ran through a filter for Future Soul sophistication most times, but out in the open now, to express particular emotions, whether it’s in that swooping, falling ‘I’ in the heart-break closer “Cellophane,” or her assured realisation, later on “Home With Me” where she says “But I’d save a life if I thought it belonged to you/ Mary Magdalene would never let her loved ones down.”

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It’s never about how to conquer with these women you see. In the end of all relationships it’s how they find their way out after us temporarily embarrassed conquerors are about to leave, jacket slung over shoulder, standing by the door. You squint your eyes back at her this time, and you listen this time, while she tells you, or tells the ground in front of you, what parts of love to let go of, and what parts are worth holding on to in this age of Satan, the parts that will help you become yourself. “I wonder if you think that I could never help you fly,” the song tells you then, one of those stinging admissions that only women come up with, and you wisely stay silent, and then the piano chords part, the synths subside. And for a while there as she looks at you, as the breathy sortilege in the song keeps going, it all sounds like something worth believing in again. And then, the words she says to you start to come across like laws.

#music #music review #rnb #rnb music #r&b #soul #future soul #future pop #alt soul #electronica #fka twigs #magdalene #mary magdalene #cellophane #Long Reads #sad day #hiro murai #new music

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corona-extra-newsletter · 5 years ago

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3/18/20 corona extra: cracking open cold covid facts

Announcements & Thank Yous

Thank you to everyone who’s messaged me or sent asks! Specific thanks go to:

@ruffboijuliaburnsides for their help with Kansas

@marywhal for information about Canada and Gritty tips

My husband for the memes

My dad for informing me how the UK works

Twitter users @molly0xFFF and @goblinartificer for their continued help with the Wordpress site

@pullingawaythespooks for Oregon info

@elprupneerg for Wisconsin info

@theeyesinthenight for Pennsylvania info

@adventurecalls for Minnesota info

@heartyargybargy for UK info

If you have reliable information from a good source that I don’t seem to have, please shoot me a message/ask/pigeon!

Places now included in the newsletter are: Germany, France, Cuba, Alaska, Hawaii, Nevada, New Mexico, Idaho, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Maine, and West Virginia (with that, all 50 US states are included. Whew.) Please send an ask or a message if you would like a place included!

I have started a website for the newsletter! Find it at coronaextranewsletter.com. If you know me from fandom, please be chill about my meatspace identity. Please.

Just The Numbers

Total cases: 191,127 (+15,123)

Total deaths: 7,807 (+786)

Mortality rate: 4.08%

WHO numbers look a little wonky today because the timing changed on when things are reported/collected. They should be back to normal tomorrow!

Western Pacific: 91,845 cases (+312), 3,357 deaths (+23)

Europe: 74,760 cases (+10,911), 3,352 deaths (+604)

SE Asia: 538 cases (+30), 9 deaths (+1)

Eastern Mediterranean: 18,060 cases (+1552), 1,010deaths (+140)

Americans: 4,979 cases (+2,243), 68 deaths (+18)

Africa: 233 cases (+42), 4 deaths (+0)

160 countries/territories reporting cases, 1 new including:

Montenegro (2)

Italy is reporting 31,506 cases (+3526) and 2,503 deaths (+345)

Spain is reporting 11,178 cases (+1987) and 491 deaths (+182)

Iran is reporting 16,169 cases (+1178) and 988 deaths (+135)

International/General News

Eurovision is canceled. Lovers of sparkles and cheesy ballads weep in the streets.

I’m blasting ABBA in mourning and encourage you to join me

Many places are closing liquor stores, bars, and restaurants. This is very concerning for people who are dependent on alcohol as they are at high risk for withdrawal. Public health measures to mitigate this are necessary

The US-Canada border is now closed. Holy shit. Essential business is still allowed but still. Holy shit.

Cuba is working with China to test interferon-alpha as a potential therapy for the virus. Watch this space for further news.

I’m less optimistic about this one than the favipiravir I mentioned yesterday because interferons are a way less directed therapy but the trials will tell the story!

Vaccine trials continue in Seattle, United States. Authorities of the state of Washington are asking for healthy volunteers to join the trial.

Antibody trials are underway in the Netherlands.

The United States has a major shortage of testing supplies, still.

US immigration enforcement are a bunch of bastards. Still.

Italy has promoted a bunch of senior medical students to start practicing in the outpatient setting so more seasoned doctors can work in the hospitals.

As a senior medical student, this frightens me personally.

Virology Corner

Today’s question is: Why 6 feet of separation? How does that help? How is COVID-19 spread?

Let’s start with how COVID-19 is spread. It’s a respiratory virus, so it is spread by respiratory droplets, aka the garbage you breathe/cough/sneeze out.

A good hard sneeze won’t launch your eyeballs out, but it will launch nasty shit up to 6 feet away from you at a shocking speed. (This is why you should Dracula when you sneeze.)

6 feet is a great rule of thumb to keep people out of each other’s sneeze radius, so they can’t get in contact with each other’s respiratory droplets.

Regional News (if you want somewhere added just let me know. Don’t be shy!! I highly recommend you just skip to your area if you don’t wanna be overwhelmed.)

Australia: last updated 3/18 at 6:30 am

454 cases (+79)

189 cases acquired overseas (US, Iran, Italy, UK)

Community spread not confirmed

5 deaths (+0)

43 recoveries (+27)

States affected include: ACT (2, +0), New South Wales (210, +40), Queensland (78, +10), South Australia (32, +3), Tasmania (7, +0), Victoria (94, +23), and Western Australia (31, +3)

Passengers repatriated from the Diamond Princess are included in their respective states

COVID-19 information line: 1800 020 080

Canada: last updated 3/17 at 8 pm

Total cases: 569 confirmed (+145), 26 presumed (+10)

Symptoms began for these cases between 1/15 and 3/15

12% of cases have required hospitalization (-1%)

74% of cases are in travellers, and a further 11% (+5%) in their close contacts

8 deaths (+3)

Deaths are being reported in: Ontario (1)

Recoveries are being reported in: Ontario (5)

Affected provinces include: Alberta (97, +23), BC (186, +83), Manitoba (15, +8), New Brunswick (8, +1), Newfoundland and Labrador (1, +0), Nova Scotia (7, +2) Ontario (189, +12), PEI (1, +0), Québec (50, +9), and Saskatchewan (8, +1).

Totals here include confirmed and presumptive positives

9 cases in repatriated travellers (+1)

Restrictions/Closures:

No formal restrictions/closures at the federal level

Recommendation to cancel or postpone gatherings of >50 people

Recommendation to avoid non-essential travel, particularly cruise ships

All international travelers must self-isolate for 14 days upon arrival

Wash your damn hands

Federal information line: 1-833-784-4397

Alberta: last updated 3/17 late evening

97 (+23) cases

Community spread confirmed in Calgary

Affected zones include: Calgary (70, +18), Edmonton (20, +2), Central (3, +1), South (1, +0), and North (3, +2)

No deaths reported as of 3/17 in the late evening

Restrictions/closures

K-12 schools and in-person post-secondary classes/training are closed

Licensed childcare facilities, out-of-school care programs, and preschools are closed indefinitely

State of Emergency declared 3/17

Sit-down restaurants are operating at lower capacity

All events over 50 people are prohibited

Rec centers, bingo halls, casinos, theaters, other entertainment/public spaces are closed

Hotline: 811 is fully dedicated to covid-19 in Alberta

British Columbia: last updated 3/17 at 3 pm

Dedicated phone line: 1 888 COVID19

Self-assessment questionnaire: http://covid-19.bccdc.ca/

Use this if you think you need to be tested!

186 cases (+83), 5 recoveries (+0), and 6 critical cases

7 deaths (+3)

Public health units reporting deaths include: Fraser (1) Vancouver Coastal (2)

Ages of decedents include 80s (1)

Affected public health units include: Fraser (47), Interior (7), Island (12), Northern (4) and Vancouver Coastal (116)

S/o to BC for tabulating numbers by public health units <3

We once again hit the Rhode Island Problem aka I don’t know how many of these things there are and there’s always more than I think

Clusters of infection have been reported at Lynn Valley Care Centre, Hollyburn House Retirement Residence, and Lions Gate Hospital (admin staff).

2 deaths reported on 3/17 at Lynn Valley

An exposure occurred at the Pacific Dental Conference 2020 (Vancouver Convention Centre, 3/6 and 3/7)

All present on those dates are in self-isolation until 3/22

Poor teeth man :(

Restrictions/Closures

All hospitals have postponed elective surgeries and are on Outbreak Response Phase 2

Lions Gate Hospital is going to open a dedicated COVID 19 unit and is in Outbreak Response Phase 3 (emergency patients only)

Long term care facilities have restricted visitors to end of life only

Public gatherings & buildings with >50 people are prohibited

All casinos are closed

Establishments with a liquor primary license (bars, nightclubs, pubs) are closed until further notice

Basically if it’s fun it’s closed

Manitoba: last updated 3/17 PM

HealthLinks Line: 204-788-8200 or 1-888-315-9257 (toll free)

15 cases, 7 new

Affected regions include: Interlake-Eastern (1, +0) and Winnipeg (12, +5)

Newly affected regions include: Southern Health (2)

Ages of cases include: <19 (0), 20s (0), 30s (3), 40s (3), 50s (3), 60s (3), 70s (2), 80s (1), 90s+ (0)

8 dedicated testing centers are now open effective today, 3/18

Check the Manitoba website at https://www.gov.mb.ca/covid19/index.html for locations and hours

Closures/Restrictions

Hospital and long term care visitors restricted to only exception circumstances (incl. end of life care)

Licensed child-care centers are closed effective 3/20

Casinos are closed effective 3/17

Health care workers and first responders who need child care due to school closures are advised to call 204-945-0776 or 1-888-213-4754

New Brunswick: last updated 3/18 9:45 am

8 cases, 0 new, 0 deaths

Affected areas include: Zone 1 (2), Zone 2 (1), and Zone 3 (5)

This is the only place I’ve seen thus far that has ZONES and it’s kind of fantastic. More places should have ZONES.

Affected ages include: <19 (1), 20s (2), 30s (0), 40s (0), 50s (3), 60s (0), 70s (0), 80s (0), 90s+ (0)

Closures/Restrictions

Schools are closed starting 3/16 for two weeks

Non essential businesses and public places are closed starting 3/17 until further notice

Hotline: 811 Telecare

Thank you NB for not actually making me watch daily hourlong news conferences to figure out what’s going on

Newfoundland & Labrador: last updated 3/18

3 cases, 2 new

Sorry that’s all the info I have ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m working on finding more but the NL website sucks

Nova Scotia: last updated 3/17

7 cases, 0 new

Affected areas include: Halifax Regional Municipality (2)

Closures/Restrictions

Gatherings over 150 people are disallowed

Casinos are closed starting 3/16; VLTs are not allowed in bars

Childcare facilities are closed starting 3/17 through 4/3

Public schools are closed until 4/6

Long-term care facilities are closed to visitors until further notice

All incoming international travelers are required to isolate for 14 days upon arrival

Hospitals are limiting visitors but limitations vary by centre

Ontario: last updated 3/18 at 10:30 AM

189 cases (+12)

5 recovered & 1 death are included in this number

Affected public health units include: Durham (1, +0), Halton (1, +0), Hamilton (14, +5), Middlesex London (4, +2), Niagara (1, +0), Ottawa (3, +0), Peel (4, +0), Sudbury (1, +0), Toronto (11, +0), Wellington Dufferin Guelph (1, +0), York (7, +1)

Only cases from 3/16 on are counted under here based on how the site works

No hospitalizations since 3/16

Deaths are being reported in: Simcoe Muskoka (1, +1)

Ages of patients beginning 3/17 evening: <19, 20s, 30s, 40s (2, +2), 50s, 60s (1, +1), 70s (1, +1), 80s, 90s+

Newly affected public health units include: KFL&A (3) and Simcoe Muskoka (1)

Closings/Restrictions

All schools, restaurants, libraries, childcare facilities, theaters, public venues, and recreational spaces are closed until 3/31

Events over 50 people (incl. parades and worship services) are prohibited until 3/31

Telehealth Ontario: 1-866-797-0000

P.E.I.: last updated 3/17 AM

1 case, in Queens County, connected to a cruise, no new cases

Closures/restrictions

Libraries and community events are closed/canceled

Child care facilities are closed for two weeks starting 3/17

Public schools are closed until April 6

General queries: call 1-800-958-6400

Business-related queries: call 1-866-222-1751

Québec: last updated 3/17 at 1 pm

74 cases, 24 new, no deaths

Affected regions include: Capitale Nationale (3, +1), Mauricie - Centre du Québec (3, +0), Estrie (9, +6), Montréal (22, +4), Chaudière-Appalaches (4, +0), Lanaudière (6, +3), Laurentides (7, +4), Montérégie (13, +3), and undetermined/outside Québec (7, +3).

State of health emergency as of 3/13

Closures/restrictions

Indoor gatherings of >250 people prohibited, many public buildings closed until further notice

Daycare/childcare facilities and all schools closed until 3/27

Elections scheduled for 3/15 have been rescheduled to after late April

Non-essential visits to hospitals and long-term care institutions are prohibited

Saskatchewan: last updated 3/17

8 cases (+2), no deaths

Ages affected: 20s (1), 30s (1), 40s (2), 50s (1), 60s (3)

Areas affected: Regina (5), northern SK (1), Saskatoon (2)

Saskatoon is an amazing name, thank you for this gift Canada

Hospitalizations: 1

Restrictions/Closures

School K-12 is suspended indefinitely effective 3/20

Gatherings >250 people are prohibited, except for distributed places (malls, universities, etc)

Public gatherings >50 people with attendees who have traveled internationally in the last 14 days are canceled/prohibited

Hospital and long term care visitors are only allowed in end of life care

Saskatchewan has a bad website. I had to read all their press releases for this data. Please, Saskatchewan, we can’t keep doing this.

Cuba: last updated 3/17

5 cases, 1 new

No community spread

Affected provinces include: Sancti Spiritus and Villa Clara

I do speak Spanish but the Cuban government is notoriously bad at internet so this data is from the WHO and news sources. If you know where I can get better data, please let me know.

Cuban doctors fucking rule. They are some of the best trained, most selfless physicians the world has.

France: last updated 3/17 at 3 pm

National hotline: 0 800 130 000

I actually speak French and for once that’s useful. Yay. *twirly finger*

Suck on that, google translate.

I am going to spend like, an hour tonight updating the relevant Wikipedia articles, pray for me

7,730 cases, 175 deaths

7,652 in France and 78 in overseas territories

Affected regions in France include: Auvergne-Rhône-Alpes (710), Bourgogne-Franche-Comté (549), Bretagne (247), Centre-Val de Loire (103), Corse (145), Grand Est (1,820), Hauts-de-France (612), Ile-de-France (2,177), Normandie (174), Nouvelle-Aquitaine (200), Occitanie (311), Pays de la Loire (126), Provence-Alpes-Côte d’Azur (478)

French regions have more hyphens than my last name

I’ve left these names in their French language forms, if it would be helpful to translate (e.g. Bretagne to Brittany, Corse to Corsica) I can do that, just let me know.

Affected overseas territories include: Guadeloupe (27), Saint-Barthélémy (3), Saint-Martin (3), Guyane (11), Martinique (19), Mayotte (3), La Réunion (12)

I’ve split out France vs overseas territories for both readability and geographic sense. More granular data will happen over the next few days as I get a handle on the situation there.

Don’t get me started on neocolonialism. We’d be here all day and then there wouldn’t be a newsletter.

Germany: last updated 3/18 at 10:30 am

Cases: 8,198 (+1,042), 12 deaths

Mortality rate: 0.2%

9.9 cases/100,000 population

Affected states are as follows: Baden-Württemberg (1609, +130), Bavaria (1,243, +134), Berlin (391, +46), Brandenburg (92, +19), Bremen (69, nice, +12), Hamburg (358, +48), Hesse (432, +59), Mecklenburg-West Pomerania (56, +11), Lower Saxony (478, +153), North Rhine-Westphalia (2,372, +267), Rhineland-Palatinate (474, +32), Saarland (88, +13), Saxony (198, +16), Saxony-Anhalt (105, +47), Schleswig-Holstein (159, +32), Thuringia (74, +23)

Wikipedia tells me this is all of them, I think

There are so many Saxonies

Deaths are reported in the following states: Baden-Württemberg (2), Bavaria (4), and North Rhine-Westphalia (6).

Heinsberg district in North Rhine-Westphalia is designated as an area particularly affected by the German government

Restrictions/Closures

Most schools and daycares are closed effective 3/16, this is a state by state basis and I don’t know where to find details. If you know, please message me so I can add it!

Borders with Austria, Denmark, France, Luxembourg, and Switzerland are closed as of 3/16.

Entry for all non-EU citizens is restricted to exceptional circumstances until 4/16

Citizens from the EU, UK, Iceland, Liechtenstein, Switzerland, and Norway are allowed to travel through Germany as of 3/18

And we’re back to the languages Emily doesn’t speak. S/o to Google Translate and also to Germany for translating some of their stuff

Stats are provided by the Robert Koch institute (named for the cool epidemiologist who showed how to prove that a particular thing causes a particular disease, not the shitty evil American capitalists)

This isn’t particularly important I just wanted to share how much I love Robert Koch and his Principles

Greece: last updated 3/18 at 6 pm

418 total cases (+31), 5 deaths (+0)

14 recoveries, 79 hospitalizations, 13 critical cases

Community spread is confirmed

Restrictions/Closures:

All arrivals to the country are required to isolate for 14 days

Beginning 3/19 at 6 am, the country is closed to non-Greek and EU nationals unless exceptional circumstances warrant

Parliament has suspended all committee meetings and restricted each party to one MP in attendance at a time, and will vote on one bill a week

Businesses are closed starting Wednesday 3/18, with the exception of gas stations, pharmacies, and groceries

Supermarkets are restricting the number of patrons to allow 1 person per 10 square meters

Migrant camps on various islands are on total lockdown for 2 weeks

Religion is canceled until 3/30

An MEP got raked over the coals for panic-buying. Please don’t be a dick and panic-buy. Thank you.

Note: I (still) do not speak Greek, and I therefore am struggling to find official data from somewhere more granular than the WHO. I’m sourcing most of this from the WHO and from Ekathimerini, but if you know where I can find better/more up to date info, please let me know. Thank you!

Ireland: last updated 3/17

292 total cases, 69 new (nice), 2 deaths (0 new)

Community transmission is confirmed

The following regional breakdown is available of the new cases: 48 eastern, 5 north/west, 3 west, and 13 southern

Restrictions/Closures

All pubs & bars are closed until March 29. House parties are discouraged.

Schools, colleges, and childcare facilities are closed until March 29

Indoor gatherings of >100 people and outdoor gatherings >500 people are prohibited

State run cultural institutions are closed until further notice

The Netherlands: last updated 3/18 at 2:15 PM

2051 confirmed cases, 58 deaths

346 new cases, 15 new deaths

408 hospitalizations (+94)

Average age of decedents is 79, with a range from 63 to 95

The report of a decedent aged 59 years was in error, this is now corrected

Provinces affected include: Drenthe (22, +5), Flevoland (30, +6), Friesland (18, +4), Gelderland (210, +37), Groningen (15, +5), Limburg (258, +61), North Brabant (728, +94), North Holland (167, +15), Overijssel (58, +13), Utrecht (174, +1), South Holland (232, +57), and Zeeland (26, +6).

There are 84 non-residents/unknown location patients

Flevoland is now known as Flavorland in my house. Does Guy Fieri live there? Uncertain.

I’m mad at the Netherlands for not reporting province numbers anymore and making me do a lot of math for like 2 hours

Restrictions/Closures

Schools, restaurants/bars, sports and fitness clubs, sex clubs, saunas, and childcare facilities are closed until April 6

New Zealand: last updated 3/18

20 cases, 7 new

Locations include: Auckland (10), Canterbury (1), Dunedin (3), Invercargill (1), and Waikato (2)

Ages include: <19 (1), 20s (1), 30s (3), 40s (7), 50s (1), 60s (5), 70s (2), 80s (0), 90s+ (0)

Exposures are reported on the following flights and in the following locations within 14 days:

NZ029 3/6, Houston to Auckland

NZ283 3/7, Singapore to Auckland

NZ675 3/8, Auckland to Dunedin

QR160 3/10 Denmark to Doha

QR920 3/10 Doha to Auckland

JQ225 3/10 Auckland to Christchurch

NZ007 3/13 San Francisco to Auckland

NZ828 3/14 Brisbane to Wellington

AA83 3/14 Los Angeles to Auckland

NZ828 3/14 Auckland to Wellington

Logan Park HS in Dunedin

Testing capacity: 770/day, expected to be 1500/day by the end of the week

Anyone coming into the country from anywhere except a small list of other Pacific islands is directed to self-quarantine for 14 days. This started on 3/16 at 0100 and is expected to continue for at least the next few weeks.

New Zealanders currently overseas should register with SafeTravel (https://register.safetravel.govt.nz/login)

Flu vaccines are being released starting 3/18, with extra vaccines being produced this year. The flu shot does not protect against COVID-19 but it does prevent against the flu, which needs to not be bad at the same time please.

Healthline number: 0800 611 116

Norway: last updated 3/18 at 10 pm local time

I still don’t speak Norwegian so if I screwed up lemme know

1585 cases, 6 deaths (+3)

85 hospitalized (+18), 18 critical (+3)

116 new cases during the 24h of March 17

Breakdown of cases by area: Agder (67, +0), Innlandet (97, +9), Møre og Romsdal (20, +0), Nordland (12, +1), Oslo (348, +19), Rogaland (161, +11), Troms og Finnmark (28, +4), Trøndelag (70, +9), Vestfold og Telemark (63, +4), Vestland (147, +6), and Viken (410, +52)

Ages are as follows: <19 (54), 20s (162), 30s (241), 40s (345), 50s (386), 60s (150), 70s (54), 80s (22), 90s+ (9)

Restrictions/closures

The whole country is under shelter in place type restrictions for two weeks. Hang in there, y’all.

Switzerland: last updated 3/18 at 3 pm local time

3,028 cases (+378), 19 deaths (+5)

Restrictions/closures:

Whole country is on lockdown as of 3/16: no entry or exit until further notice (maximum of 6 months)

schools are closed until 4/19

all events are canceled

all personal service establishments are closed

Hospitals are deferring elective procedures.

United Kingdom in general: last updated 3/18 at 9 am

#milkshakeboris2k20

2,626 total cases (+34.7%), 676 are new today

103 total deaths (+48)

Nigel Farage (barf) wrote a really shitty editorial and I hope he gets milkshaked again.

Fucker.

He has a real punchable face, too bad human arms are shorter than 6 feet.

England: last updated 3/18 at 9 am

2,182 total cases, 625 new

Affected UTLAs with at least 10 cases are as follows: Barnet (27, +3), Bexley (17, +3), Birmingham (25, +5), Brent (45, +21), Bromley (32, +9), Buckingham (27, +4), Cambridge (14, +2), Camden (30, +10), Cornwall and Isles of Scilly (10, +0), Cumbria (34, +12), Devon (25, +1), Ealing (42, +21), Enfield (27, +17), Essex (27, +6), Gloucestershire (12, +1), Greenwich (19, +0), Hackney and City of London (29, +7), Hammersmith and Fulham (25, +2), Hampshire (77, +8), Haringey (29, +12), Harrow (40, +25), Hertfordshire (50, +14), Hillingdon (21, +5), Hounslow (24, +9), Islington (29, +18), Kensington (55, +6), Kent (21, +3), Lambeth (61, +18), Lancashire (15, +0), Leeds (12, +1), Lewisham (22, +4), Liverpool (12, +1), Manchester (18, +4), Merton (34, +21), Newham (23, +6), Northamptonshire (15, +3), Nottingham (14, +2), Nottinghamshire (28, +15), Oldham (12, +2), Oxfordshire (34, +9), Slough (13, +1), Southwark (70, +18), Staffordshire (14, +4), Stockport (10, +0), Surrey (39, +9), Sutton (12, +2), Tameside (12, +2), Tower Hamlets (25, +2), Trafford (14, +2), Walsall (14, +1), Wandsworth (59, +38), West Sussex (10, +0), Westminster (68, +10), and Wolverhampton (22, +4)

Newly affected areas or those that broke 10 cases today include: Barking and Dagenham (14), Brighton and Hove (11), Bristol (12), Croydon (32), Derby (11), Derbyshire (27), Dudley (10), East Riding of Yorkshire (10), Leicestershire (14), Newcastle (13), North Yorkshire (11), Sheffield (36), Suffolk (10), Waltham Forest (14), Warwickshire (10), Windsor and Maidenhead (10), and Wokingham (10)

I had to download an Excel spreadsheet situation for this, hopefully it is being updated the way I think it is. Let me know if these numbers are totally off.

Also, tomorrow I am planning to consolidate things into counties so it’s less wall of text.

I have been informed that Nottingham is the city and Nottinghamshire is the zone. Like, The Shire.

I have also been informed that Slough is pronounced like it rhymes with “plow”. My question of “are y’all okay” stands.

Deaths are not being reported by area yet. I’m working on this.

Scotland: last updated 3/18 at 2 pm

227 cases, 32 new

3 deaths, 1 new

Affected health boards are as follows: Ayrshire and Arran (9, +3), Borders (7, +0), Dumfries and Galloway (4, +3), Fife (8, +1), Forth Valley (15, +3), Grampian (24, +2), Greater Glasgow and Clyde (57, +8), Highland (5, +0), Lanarkshire (25, +4), Lothian (33, +3), Shetland (16, +1), and Tayside (24, +4)

Maybe this is all of them? Time will tell.

If anyone knows whether negative numbers are patients dying, being moved, or recovering, please let me know.

Wales: last updated 3/18 at 11 am

149 cases, 13 new

2 deaths, 0 new

Areas reporting deaths are: Swansea (1)

Because every area of Wales is now affected, the Welsh NHS will begin to report cases differently starting 3/19

Northern Ireland: last updated 3/18 at 2 pm

68 cases, 6 new

Health dept is not providing more detail than this at this time as far as I can tell

Apparently enough people have complained and they’re going to provide more information “later this week”

Watch this space!

US in general: updated 3/18 at 4 pm

7,038 total cases, 2,812 new (+66.5%)

97 deaths, 22 new (1.38% mortality rate)

54 jurisdictions are reporting cases: 50 states, DC, Puerto Rico, Guam, and US Virgin Islands

Shelter in place orders and curfews are coming into effect in lots of places

Alabama: updated 3/18 at 4:10 pm

51 cases, 12 new

0 deaths

Affected counties include: Baldwin (1, +0), Elmore (4, +2), Lee (8, +5), Jefferson (25, +4), Limestone (1, +0), Madison (1, +0), Montgomery (2, +0), Shelby (4, +0), St. Clair (1, +0), and Tuscaloosa (3, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Calhoun (1)

State hotline: 1-888-264-2256

Alaska: updated 3/17 at 7 pm

6 cases, 3 new

No community spread

Affected regions include: Anchorage (2), Interior (3), Southeast (1)

Arkansas: updated 3/18

33 cases (+11), 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Cleburne, Cleveland, Desha, Garland, Jefferson, Lincoln, Pulaski, and Saline

Exact numbers by county are not available from the state department of health

Newly affected counties include: Bradley, Faulkner, Washington

Y’all have a county called YELL, that’s the best county name I’ve seen yet

State hotline: 1-800-803-7847

Arizona: updated 3/17 at 11:36 AM

27 cases, 7 new, no deaths

Affected counties include: Graham (1, +0), Maricopa (11, +2), Navajo (2, +1), Pima (5, +1), and Pinal (8, +3)

Community spread is confirmed in: Maricopa, Pima, and Pinal counties

Closures/Restrictions:

“Strong recommendation” that restaurants in areas of community spread close their dine-in services

Recommendation to cancel/postpone gatherings >10 people

Schools are closed through 3/27

State hotline (rolled into poison control): 844-542-8201

California: last updated 3/17 at 6 pm (state website; county websites are updated more recently)

Total cases not including the ones at Miramar (discussed below): 598 (+126), with 13 total deaths (+2)

The following counties report deaths: Los Angeles (1, +0), Placer (1, +0), Riverside (3, +0), Sacramento (2, +0), San Benito (1, +1), San Joaquin (2, +2) San Mateo (1, +0), Santa Clara (6, +2)

The following counties report recoveries: Humboldt (1), San Benito (2)

The following counties report numbers of hospitalizations: Los Angeles (2), San Diego (10, +1), Santa Clara (56, +0), Tulare (1, +0), Yolo (2, +1)

Affected counties include: Alameda (31, +4), Amador (1, +0), Calaveras (2, +0), Contra Costa (41, +2), Fresno (3, +1), Humboldt (1, +0), Imperial (2, +0), Los Angeles (190, +46), Madera (1, +0), Marin (15, +6), Monterey (2, +0), Nevada (1, +0), Orange (42, +13), Placer (9, +1), Riverside (16, +1), Sacramento (40, +0) San Benito (5, +2), San Bernardino (5, +2), San Diego (75, +24), San Francisco (51, +8), San Joaquin (14, +1), San Luis Obispo (7, +4), San Mateo (80, +16), Santa Barbara (3, +1), Santa Clara (175, +20), Santa Cruz (13, +0), Shasta (1, +0), Solano (8, +0), Sonoma (8, +2), Stanislaus (5, +2), Tulare (5, +2), Ventura (13, +3), and Yolo (5, +1)

Note regarding San Diego: The five federally quarantined people are not included in the county statistics. Cases of non-residents diagnosed in San Diego are included.

Unaffected counties include: Alpine, Butte, Colusa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Glenn, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Mariposa, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Napa, Plumas, Sierra, Siskiyou, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tuolumne, and Yuba

Thank you in particular to Merced County for putting out a press release every single day to say that you still have no cases

Counties with confirmed community transmission include: Los Angeles, Marin, Orange, Riverside, Sacramento, San Francisco, San Joaquin, Santa Clara, Sonoma, and Yolo

Newly affected counties include: Mendocino (1)

New community transmission in: Tulare

Closures/Restrictions by County

Alameda: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Alpine: County activities are canceled, schools closed, no non-essential services

Contra Costa: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Del Norte: Schools closed through 4/20

El Dorado: Schools closed through 3/20

Los Angeles: gatherings >50 people prohibited

Marin: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Mendocino: Shelter in place until 4/7

Mono: Schools closed through 3/30, Alterra Mountain closed, libraries closed through 3/31

Monterey: Shelter in Place beginning 3/18 until 4/8

Napa: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Nevada: Schools are closed until 4/13, libraries closed until 4/12

Orange: Shelter in Place until 3/31

Riverside: Schools & daycares are closed, gatherings >10 people prohibited

Sacramento: Shelter in Place until further notice

San Benito: Shelter in Place until 4/7

San Bernardino: County operated attractions are closed

San Diego: gatherings >50 people prohibited, restaurants are carry-out and drive through only, all schools are closed, and entertainment establishments are closed

San Francisco: Shelter in Place until 4/7

San Luis Obispo: Alcohol sales on site are banned through 3/18

San Mateo: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Barbara: Dining is takeout/drive through only

Santa Clara: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Cruz: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Siskiyou: gatherings >50 prohibited, hospital/LTAC visitors prohibited

Solano: Shelter in place until further notice

Stanislaus: Gatherings of >1000 people are prohibited indoor and outdoor from 3/16 to 3/31

Sutter: Shelter in place

Tuolumne: Schools are closed through 4/13

Ventura: All schools and public libraries are closed starting 3/16 until further notice, nonessential businesses closed until 4/1, and those 75 and older should shelter in place

Yolo: Shelter in place until 4/7

Yuba: Shelter in place

Counties with no closures/restrictions beyond those mandated by the state: Alpine, Amador, Butte, Calaveras, Colusa, Fresno, Glenn, Humboldt, Imperial, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Madera, Merced, Modoc, Placer, Plumas, San Joaquin, Shasta, Sierra, Solano, Tehama, Trinity, and Tulare

Drive through testing is available in Marin County

Colorado - last updated 3/18 at 4:00 pm

183 cases (+33)

2 deaths (+0)

26 hospitalizations (+6)

Counties reporting deaths include: El Paso (1) and Larimer (1)

Affected counties include: Adams (10, +2), Arapahoe (22, +4), Boulder (7, -1), Clear Creek (2, +0), Denver (43, +5), Douglas (11, +0), Eagle (39, +5), El Paso (8, +2), Garfield (2, +0), Gunnison (11, +0), Jefferson (25, +8), Larimer (4, +3), Mesa (1, +0), Pitkin (11, +0), Pueblo (1, +0), Routt (2, +0), Summit (4, +1), and Weld (9, +0)

3 cases are designated “unknown”

Out of state visitors are now included in the tally of the county where they were diagnosed/are being treated

Confirmed community spread

Newly affected counties include: Grand (1)

Drive through testing is available in: Denver and Lowry

Residents of Gunnison, Eagle, Summit, Pitkin are recommended to minimize social contact due to potential exposures

Anyone who visited the Colorado Springs Bridge center in late Feb-early Mar may have been exposed, call the DPH for more information

Closures/restrictions

Public places are closed, restaurants are takeout only until 4/16

Gambling is canceled

Schools are iffy, check your local district news

Connecticut - last update 3/18 at 4:30 pm

96 cases, 28 new

The following counties are affected: Fairfield (69, +21), Hartford (11, +4), Litchfield (5, +0), New Haven (10, +2)

Apparently there’s at least 5 counties

nice

Newly affected counties include: Middlesex (1)

Restrictions/Closures

No gatherings >50 people until further notice

Nursing home visits restricted

Schools closed through 3/30 and 180 day school year is waived

Restaurants are carryout/drive through only through 4/30

All “places of public amusement” closed through 4/30

Gambling is canceled until the end of April

Malls are closed 3/19-4/30

AccessHealth Connecticut has announced a new special enrollment period for health insurance. If you are uninsured in CT, you can get insured now. Visit the state health department at portal.ct.gov/coronavirus for more information.

State has put in place increased telehealth provisions

Delaware: last update 3/18 at 3:50 pm

26 cases (+10), 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Kent (3, +3), New Castle (20, +3) and Sussex (3, +2).

Kent reported first cases 3/18

Restrictions/closures:

Events over >100 people are encouraged to cancel/reschedule

Schools closed through 3/27

District of Columbia: last update 3/18 at 7 pm

39 cases (+8), no deaths

Public transit fees are decreasing and being waived in some areas

DC Circulator is closed on the National Mall route effective 3/19

Restrictions/Closures

Food service/drinking establishments are restricted to <250 people, <6 people/table, no standing or bar seating, and tables separated by 6 feet

Nightclubs etc are closed

Most government stuff is telework so if you want to report a Ponzi scheme you have to email them or call them

Florida - last updated 3/18 at 6:02 PM

328 (+112) cases and 8 deaths (+1)

Community transmission remains unconfirmed but highly likely

Affected counties include: Alachua (7, +1), Brevard (2, +1) Broward (80, +25), Charlotte (1, +0), Citrus (3, +1), Clay (4, +0), Collier (13, +6), Duval (14, +4), Escambia (1, +0), Hillsborough (14, +5), Lake (2, +1), Lee (11, +4), Manatee (8, +1), Miami-Dade (77, +34), Nassau (1, +0) Okaloosa (4, +2), Orange (11, +5), Osceola (8, +1), Palm Beach (21, +8), Pasco (3, +1), Pinellas (12, +8), Polk (2, +1), Santa Rosa (1, +0), Sarasota (4, +0) Seminole (7, +3), St. Johns (4, +1) Volusia (9, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Gadsden (1), Leon (1), Sumter (1), and Walton

State hotline/call center: 1 (866) 779-6121

Closures/ Restrictions:

Schools are closed until 4/15 at the earliest, distance learning begins 3/30

Georgia: last updated 3/18 at 11:38 AM

197 cases (+51), 1 death (+0)

Affected counties include: Barrow (1, +0), Bartow (19, +9), Charlton (1, +0), Cherokee (9, +2), Clayton (6, +2), Clarke (5, +2), Cobb (28, +3), Columbia (1, +0), Coweta (3, +0), Dekalb (18, +3), Dougherty (7, +0), Fayette (8, +3), Floyd (6, +0), Forsyth (2, +1), Fulton (49, +16), Gordon (3, +1), Gwinnett (7, +0), Hall (3, +2), Henry (2, +0), Lowndes (5, +1), Lee (2, +0), Newton (3, +2), Paulding (3, +2), Polk (1, +0), Richmond (1, +0), and Troup (2, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Houston (1) and Whitfield (1)

Closures/Restrictions

USG universities are closed through 3/29 and will be online after that for the semester

Athens-Clarke County has instituted a shelter in place policy until 4/7 and no gatherings over 10 people are to be held in the county until 4/7

Hotline for the state: 844-442-2681

Hawaii: last updated 3/18 at 12 PM

Total cases: 16

Total deaths: 0

Affected counties: Hawaii (1), Honolulu (10), Kauai (2), Maui (3)

State hotline is Aloha United Way: 211

Dear Hawaii, I was going to be mad at you for your website being hard to navigate but then you automatically alphabetized things and I forgave you. Love, Emily

Idaho: last updated 3/18 at 8:30 am

Total cases: 11

Total deaths: 0

Affected counties: Ada (3), Blaine (5), Madison (1), Teton (1), and Twin Falls (1)

Illinois: last updated 3/18

288 confirmed cases (+128), 1 death (+0)

Confirmed community spread

Affected counties include Champaign (1, +0), Clinton (3, +1), Cook (178, +71), Cumberland (1, +0), DuPage (45, +19), Kane (4, +1), Lake (18, +11), McHenry (4, +2), Peoria (3, +2), Sangamon (3, +0), St. Clair (3, +1), Whiteside (1, +0), Will (3, +1), Winnebago (1, +0), and Woodford (1, +0)

Deaths are reported in the following counties: Cook (1)

Newly affected counties include: Kendall (2), Madison (1)

Closings/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are closed (except for carryout and drive through) until 3/30

All gatherings >50 people prohibited

Gyms/fitness centers/clubs/theaters are closed

DMV is closed (yay)

Schools are closed through 3/31 statewide

Indiana: last updated 3/17

C’mon Indiana. C’mon. You were doing so well yesterday with your readable website.

It��s 9:15 PM your time. Update your ding dang website.

39 cases (+9), 2 deaths (+0)

Affected counties include: Adams (1, +0), Bartholomew (1, +0), Boone (1, +0), Floyd (1, +0), Franklin (2, +0), Hamilton (2, +0), Hendricks (4, +1), Howard (2, +0), Johnson (3, +0), Lake (3, +1), La Porte (1, +0), Marion (11, +2), Noble (1, +0), St. Joseph (1, +0), and Wells (1, +0)

Deaths are being reported in the following counties: Johnson (1) and Marion (1)

Newly affected counties include: Clark (1), Fayette (1), Jennings (1) and Madison (1)

Iowa: last updated 3/18 at 5:39 pm

38 cases (+9)

Affected counties include: Adair (1, +0) Allamakee (2, +0), Black Hawk (1, +0), Carroll (1, +0), Dallas (5, +2), Harrison (1, +0), Johnson (21, +3), Polk (3, +2), and Pottawattamie (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Washington (1) and Winneshiek (1)

Community spread confirmed

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed for 4 weeks starting 3/16

Public places closed, restaurants carryout only until further notice

Kansas: last updated 3/18 at 10 am

21 confirmed cases (+5), 1 death

Affected counties include: Butler (1, +0), Douglas (1, +0), Franklin (1, +0), Johnson (11, +1), and Wyandotte (5, +2)

Newly affected counties include: Leavenworth (2)

Deaths are being reported in the following counties: Wyandotte (1)

Community spread confirmed

Closures/Restrictions

Schools closed statewide for the rest of the school year

KU and Washburn are fully online for the rest of the academic year

Gatherings >50 people prohibited

Public places must maintain a 6ft bubble

Travelers to affected areas (basically everywhere) must self-quarantine for 14 days upon arrival

Phone line: 1-866-534-3463

Kentucky: last updated 3/18 at 4 pm

35 cases (+8), 1 death (+0)

Counties reporting deaths: Bourbon (1)

Counties reporting recoveries: Harrison (1)

Affected counties include: Bourbon (2, +1), Clark (2, +1), Fayette (6, +0), Harrison (7, +1), Jefferson (11, +2), Lyon (1, +0) Montgomery (2, +1), and Nelson (1, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Franklin (1), Kenton (1), and Warren (1).

Closures/Restrictions

Restaurants and bars closed to in-person service

State Capitol closed to non-essential personnel

Entertainment/nonessential services are closed

Schools are closed statewide

Phone line: (800) 722-5725 (rolled in with poison control)

Louisiana: last updated 3/18 at 5:30 pm

280 cases reported, 84 new

7 deaths, 3 new

Parishes affected: Ascension (1, +0), Bossier (2, +1), Caddo (6, +2), East Baton Rouge (3, +2), Jefferson (45, +10), Lafourche (3, +1), Orleans (196, +60), St. Bernard (3, +1), St. Charles (3, +0), St. John the Baptist (2, +1), St. Tammany (10, +4), Terrebonne (3, +0), and Washington (1, +0)

2 cases are unassigned to a parish

Parishes reporting deaths: Jefferson (1, +1) and Orleans (6, +2)

Maine: last updated 3/18 at 12:50 pm

42 cases, 0 deaths

Recoveries are being reported by the following counties: Androscoggin (1)

Affected counties include: Androscoggin (3), Cumberland (24), Kennebec (1), Lincoln (3), Oxford (1), Penobscot (1), and York (2)

7 cases are unassigned to a county

Affected ages include: <19 (2), 20s (2), 30s (4), 40s (7), 50s (9), 60s (8), 70s (7), and 80+ (3)

Closures/ Restrictions

Bars and restaurants carryout only until 3/31

Gatherings >10 people prohibited

Nonessential businesses recommended to close until 3/31

Schools are recommended to become remote as soon as is feasible

State hotline: 1-866-811-5695

Maryland: last updated 3/18 at 10 am

85 cases (+28), 0 deaths

Counties affected: Anne Arundel (4, +1), Baltimore (10, +4), Baltimore City (4, +3), Carroll (1, +0), Charles (2, +1), Frederick (1, +0), Harford (3, +1), Howard (8, +5), Montgomery (31, +7), Prince George’s (20, +6), Talbot (1, +0)

Community spread confirmed

Exposure risk advisory for Lorien Elkridge

Closures/restrictions

Casinos, racetracks and other gambling situations are closed

Gatherings >250 people prohibited

All schools closed through 3/27

Senior centers closed until further notice

Elections postponed - vote by mail implemented for urgent elections

Massachusetts: last updated 3/18 at 4 pm

256 cases (+38)

Affected counties include: Barnstable (2, +0), Berkshire (17, +3), Bristol (5, +0), Essex (14, +6), Hampden (2, +1), Middlesex (100, +11), Norfolk (45, +2), Plymouth (5, +0) Suffolk (51, +9), and Worcester (10, +2)

4 cases of undetermined location

Newly affected counties include: Franklin (1)

27 hospitalizations (+6)

Michigan: last updated 3/18 at 2 pm

80 cases (+15), 34 hospitalizations (+9), 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Bay (1, +0), Charlevoix (1, +0), Ingham (2, +0), Jackson (1, +0), Kent (5, +0), Leelanau (1, +0), Macomb (10, +2), Monroe (1, +0), Montcalm (1, +0), Oakland (23, +7), Otsego (1, +0), Ottawa (1, +0), St. Clair (2, +0), Washtenaw (7, +0), and Wayne (23, +7)

Wayne County includes Detroit (13 cases, +5)

Two employees of the corrections department have tested positive

Jackson County Probation Office and Detroit Detention Center have both been exposed, contact the health department if you have been exposed

Closures/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are carryout/drive through only

Public spaces (casinos, theaters, etc) closed

Public offices open by appt only

Guns are canceled unless you’re doing hunting

Yurts are canceled until 5/15

(so are other small cabin/camping type things)

Minnesota: last updated 3/18 at 12:00

77 cases (+17)

Affected counties include: Anoka (2), Benton (1), Blue Earth (1), Carver (2), Dakota (7), Hennepin (30), Olmstead (6), Ramsey (6-20), Renville (1-2), Stearns (3-5), Waseca (1-2), Washington (1-2), and Wright (1-2)

We’re still working with some ranges because not all counties provide counts and there’s conflicting news reports. I will continue to try to sort this out.

Community spread confirmed in Hennepin County & the greater metropolitan area of Minneapolis-St.Paul

Newly affected counties include: Martin, Nicollet, and Scott

Closures/Restrictions

Anoka County has closed all public-facing county services until 3/30

Dakota County has closed all public-facing county services until 4/1

Hennepin County has closed all public-facing county services until 4/6

Schools are closed statewide through 3/27

Metro Transit (Twin Cities) has suspended service 11pm to 4am

Drive through testing in Carver county is temporarily halted due to nationwide shortages, but the Mayo Clinic is planning to open a bunch of testing facilities

Mississippi: last updated 3/18

34 cases, 13 new, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Copiah (2, +0), Forrest (3, +0), Hancock (2, +1), Harrison (4, +3), Hinds (6, +0), Jackson (1, +0), Leflore (4, +0), and Pearl River (4, +2)

Newly affected counties include: Bolivar (2), Coahoma (2), DeSoto (1), Madison (1), and Perry (1)

State hotline: 877-978-6453

Missouri last updated 3/18 at 7 pm

24 (+11) cases, 1 death

Counties reporting deaths include: Boone (1)

*** NOT UPDATED BY STATE HEALTH DPT SINCE 3/17*** Affected counties include: Boone (1), Cass (2), Cole (1), Greene (4), Henry (1), Jackson (1), St. Louis City (1), St. Louis County (4)

Hotline: 877-435-8411

Montana: last updated 3/18 at 8:15 am

10 cases (+2)

Affected counties are not being reported at this time by the state. Montana has a million counties and due to the Netherlands Spreadsheet Incident of My Entire Afternoon, I didn’t have the time to figure this one out. TBH I’m hoping the state health department does it for me because it’s their job.

Closures/Restrictions

Public schools closed until 3/30

Many counties have closed courts & public-facing services

State of Emergency

Nebraska: last updated 3/17

Community transmission confirmed: many locations in Douglas County are potential places where transmission has occurred; if you live or have traveled to Douglas County (Omaha), please check the Douglas County COVID-19 monitoring site at: https://www.douglascountyhealth.com/latest-news.

There were also two exposures in Knox County on March 5, at basketball games at Lincoln Southwest HS and North Star HS.

27 cases (+6), no deaths

Affected counties include: Cass (1, +0), Douglas (21, +3) and Knox (2, +1)

Newly affected counties include: Sarpy (1) and Lincoln (1)

Hotline (bling): (402) 552-6645

Nevada

55 cases

Community spread confirmed

Restrictions/closures

Gatherings >10 people recommended to cancel

Governor asks Nevada citizens to stay home for 30 days and nonessential businesses to close

Gambling is canceled, sorry Vegas

Weed is now delivery only, but at least there’s weed delivery now?

Nevada wins worst website for a state health department in America and that’s a really fucking low bar

New Hampshire: last updated 3/18 at 9 AM

39 cases (+13), 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Carroll (4, +3), Grafton (7, +0), Hillsborough (8, +4), and Rockingham (17, +3)

Nashua (1, +0) and Manchester (4 new) are included in Hillsborough county totals

Newly affected counties include: Belknap (2), Merrimack (1)

Exposure reported at the Manchester DMV on 3/2, 3/3, 3/4, 3/5, and 3/10.

My desire to avoid the DMV at all costs continues to be vindicated

Governor Sunununununununu implemented takeout/delivery beer and wine

Hell yeah

Telehealth services expanded throughout the state

New Jersey : last updated 3/18 at 2 pm

427 cases (+160), 4 deaths (+2)

Deaths seem to have disappeared from the state website, if you have any information that may lead to the whereabouts of NJ mortality stats, contact your friendly internet Emily immediately.

These are the ones I could find from the news

Affected counties include: Bergen (114, +30), Burlington (10, +5), Camden (8, +5), Essex (45, +13), Hudson (34, +10), Hunterdon (6, +2), Mercer (15, +9), Middlesex (40, +18), Monmouth (32, +10), Morris (19, +12), Ocean (8, +5), Passaic (18, +8), Somerset (16, +8), and Union (26, +11)

Newly affected counties include: Atlantic (3) and Gloucester (2).

Closures/Restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people

Restaurants, bars, entertainment venues, and other public spaces are closed

Curfew in effect from 8 pm to 5 am, anyone out without a valid reason is committing a misdemeanor and is also a total dick, don’t expose people

This means you, assholes having a wedding with a million people.

New Mexico: last updated 3/18

Total cases: 28

Restrictions/Closures

Gatherings >10 people prohibited until 4/10

All nonessential businesses are to close their public-facing activities until 4/10

There’s a new law that says “stop hoarding you assholes”, technically in effect til 4/10 but really valid forever

New York: last updated 3/17 at 7:30 PM

2,382 cases (+1,008), 10 deaths

Affected counties include: Albany (36, +13), Allegany (2, +0), Broome (1, +0), Clinton (1, +0), Delaware (1, +0), Dutchess (20, +4), Erie (7, +0), Greene (2, +0), Herkimer (1, +0), Monroe (14, +4), Montgomery (2, +1), Nassau (183, +52), Onondaga (2, +0), Ontario (1, +0), Orange (32, +17), Putnam (2, +0), Rensselaer (4, +3), Rockland (30, +8), Saratoga (14, +5), Schenectady (14, +9), Suffolk (116, +32), Sullivan (1, +0), Tioga (1, +0), Tompkins (3, +1), Ulster (9, +1), Westchester (538, +158), and Wyoming (1, +0)

NYC has 1871 cases (+1227) as of 3/18 at 6 pm

Areas/counties reporting deaths are: NYC (7) and Rockland (1)

I can’t find records of all of the deaths. If you have info about deaths occurring due to COVID19 in NY state, please let me know.

These numbers don’t add up with the NYC cases because NYC updates after NY State. Sorry.

Newly affected counties include: Chenango (1) and Hamilton (1)

Drive through testing in New Rochelle, all boroughs of NYC, Long Island, and Rockland County

Closures/Restrictions

Bars, restaurants, entertainment venues closed

No gatherings >50 people

Public schools closed until 4/1

Village elections delayed until 4/28

Stop price gouging, assholes

Uber, Lyft, taxis all banned until further notice

NYC turned some hotels into temp hospitals, in an effort to create 1300 new hospital beds

The Navy is sending the USNS Comfort to New York Harbor to provide additional hospital beds.

New legal protections and stuff from the state came down today

Job protection and pay are guaranteed for those quarantined

Permanent comprehensive sick leave policy

If you are a retired doctor or nurse, New York needs you. Like, real bad. Contact the state or local health dept to see how you can help.

No evictions until this outbreak is over

North Carolina: last updated 3/18 at 10:44 AM

63 cases (+23), 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Brunswick (1, +0), Cabarrus (1, +0), Chatham (3, +2), Craven (1, +0), Durham (12, +11), Forsyth (2, +0), Harnett (4, +1), Iredell (1, +0), Johnston (2, +0), Mecklenburg (11, +4), Onslow (1, +0), Sampson (1, +0), Wake (17, +2), Watauga (1, +0), Wayne (1, +0), and Wilson (1, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Guilford (1), Lincoln (1)

Advisory for an exposure at Raleigh convention center on March 8

Please call Wake County if you were there, they are tracking exposures

Closures/Restrictions

Schools are closed statewide until 3/30

Events >100 people canceled

Restaurants and bars are closed

North Dakota

7 cases, 0 deaths, 0 hospitalizations

Affected counties include: Burleigh (2), Cass (1), Morton (2), and Ward (2)

Ohio: last updated 3/18 at 2 pm

88 confirmed cases (+21)

26 hospitalizations (+8)

Affected counties include: Belmont (2, +0), Butler (8, +2), Coshocton (2, +0), Cuyahoga (38, +7), Franklin (7, +3), Geauga (1, +0), Lake (2, +1), Lorain (6, +2), Lucas (1, +0), Mahoning (3, +2), Medina (4, +1), Stark (3, +0), Summit (4, +0), Trumbull (2, +0), Tuscarawas (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Ashland (1), Darke (1), Delaware (1), Huron (1)

Darke County is so goth

Closures/Restrictions

Bars/restaurants are closed

Gatherings >50 people canceled

Nonessential businesses are closed

Oklahoma: last updated 3/18 at 7 AM

29 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Cleveland (4), Jackson (1), Kay (2), Oklahoma (14), Payne (1), Tulsa (4), Pawnee (1)

2 cases were identified in Canadian nationals

...Unless Oklahoma has a county called “Canadian”. That wouldn’t be the weirdest name of an American county in all honesty

Oregon: last updated 3/18 at 8 AM

75 cases (+10), 3 deaths (+2)

Counties reporting deaths: Lane (1), Multnomah (1), and Washington (1)

Hospitalization data is no longer being provided by the state health department.

The following counties are affected: Benton (3, +1), Clackamas (6, +0), Deschutes (6, +0), Douglas (1, +0), Jackson (2, +0), Klamath (1, +0), Linn (15, +0), Marion (8, +4), Multnomah (3, +0), Polk (1, +0), Umatilla (2, +0), Washington (23, +2), and Yamhill (2, +1)

Newly affected counties include: Lane (2)

Courts are effectively closed down (Level 3 restriction)

Pennsylvania: last updated 3/18 at 3 pm

133 total cases (+37), 1 death (+1)

Counties reporting deaths include: Northampton (1)

Counties affected include: Allegheny (11, +4), Beaver (2, +1), Bucks (9, +1), Chester (9, +5), Cumberland (10, +0), Delaware (14, +5), Lehigh (1, +0), Luzerne (1, +0), Monroe (7, -1), Montgomery (42, +10), Northampton (1, +0), Philadelphia (17, +7), Pike (2, +1), Washington (2, +0), Wayne (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Berks (1), Lackawanna (1), and York (2)

Closures/restrictions:

Restaurants and bars are closed statewide except takeout/delivery

Nonessential businesses are closed statewide

All liquor stores are closed statewide. This is going to end badly.

GRITTY HAS DONE DARK MAGICKS TO ACQUIRE TOILET PAPER https://twitter.com/GrittyNHL/status/1239998209755357185?s=20

Rhode Island: last updated 3/18

33 confirmed cases (+12), no deaths

Chanston High School West had an exposure; 1700 people are currently quarantined after this exposure

RIDOH is not providing more information than this, if you have more details please send me a tip

South Carolina: last updated 3/18 at 4 pm

60 cases (+13), 1 death (+0)

Affected counties include: Anderson (2, +0), Beaufort (6, +2), Calhoun (1, +0), Charleston (4, +1), Fairfield (1, 0), Greenville (3, +1), Horry (5, +1), Kershaw (25, +3), Lancaster (2, +0), Lexington (4, +1), Richland (4, +3), Spartanburg (1, +0), and York (1, +0)

Deaths are reported in the following counties: Lexington (1)

Newly affected counties include: Lee (1)

South Dakota: last updated 3/18

11 confirmed cases (+0), 1 death (+0)

Affected counties include: Beadle (1, +0), Bon Homme (1, +0), Charles Mix (1, +0), Davison (1, +0), McCook (1, +0), Minnehaha (5, +0), and Pennington (1, +0)

Closures/Restrictions:

Schools closed week of 3/16

Tennessee: last updated 3/18 at 2 pm

98 (+25) cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Campbell (1, +0), Davidson (58, +16), Hamilton (1, +0), Jefferson (1, +0), Knox (2, +0), Rutherford (1, +0), Sevier (1, +0), Shelby (4, +2), Sullivan (1, +0), and Williamson (24, +3)

Newly affected counties include: Sumner (2)

Closures/Restrictions

Schools closed through 3/31

Expanded unemployment relief as of 3/17

Texas: last updated 3/18 at 12 PM

83 (+19) total cases, 2 death (+1)

Affected counties include: Bell (1, +0), Bexar (4, +1), Brazoria (2, +0), Collin (6, +0), Dallas (15, +6), Denton (4, +3), El Paso (3, +0), Fort Bend (9, +0), Galveston (2, +1), Gregg (1, +0), Harris (10, +0), Hays (1, +0), Lavaca (1, +0), Matagorda (1, +0), Montgomery (3, +0), Smith (5, +2), Tarrant (5, +2), Travis (4, +1), and Webb (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Bowie (1), Brazos (1), Medina (1), Rusk (1)

Should have gone to space, Major Tom

Too soon, probably :(

1 case is pending county assignment

Restrictions/Closures:

San Antonio has closed restaurants and bars

Utah: last updated 3/18 at 12:45 pm

63 cases (+12)

Affected health districts include: Bear River (1, +0), Davis County (6, +2), Salt Lake County (24, +2), Southwest Utah (1, +0), Summit County (22, +7), Tooele (1, +0), Utah County (2, +1), Wasatch County (2, +0), and Weber-Morgan (4, +0)

Community spread confirmed in the following counties: Summit and Utah

Exposure at Wasatch High School identified

Schools, Mormonism, skiing, and restaurants are canceled until further notice

The zoo and a bunch of museums are canceled too :(

Now graduation is canceled for public schools & universities

Vermont: last updated 3/18 at 2 PM

19 cases total (+2)

Affected counties include: Bennington (3), Chittenden (4), Orange (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), and Windsor (3)

County by county data was not updated on 3/17 or 3/18

Hospitalizations are reported in the following counties: Bennington (3), Chittenden (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), Windsor (1)

Closures/restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people or >50% capacity, whichever is lower

Schools are closed starting 3/18

Bars/restaurants are closed until 4/6

Virginia: last updated 3/18

77 cases (+10)

Affected counties/cities include: Alexandria City (2, +0), Arlington (14, +1), Charlottesville City (1, +0), Chesterfield (5, +1), Fairfax (14, +2), Goochland (1, +0), Hanover (1, +0), Harrisonburg City (1, +0), Henrico (2, +0), James City (13, +1), Loudoun (5, +0), Prince Edward (1, +0), Prince William (4, +0), Spotsylvania (1, +0), Stafford (2, +1), Virginia Beach City (4, +0), Williamsburg City (1, +0), and York (1, +0)

Newly affected areas include: Charles City (1) and Richmond City (3)

State of Emergency declared on 3/12

Washington State: Last updated 3/18 at 3:25

1187 total cases (+175), 66 deaths (+14)

Current mortality rate: 5.6%

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Clark (3, +1), Grant (1, +0), King (56, +13), and Snohomish (6, +0).

Affected counties include: Chelan (2, +0), Clark (4, +0), Columbia (1, +0), Grant (8, +1), Grays Harbor (1, +0), Island (16, +2), Jefferson (4, +1), King (562, -7), Kitsap (9, +2), Kittitas (4, +1), Klickitat (1, +0), Lewis (1, +0), ,Lincoln (1, +0), Pierce (56, +11), Skagit (14, +5), Snohomish (310, +56), Spokane (4, +0), Thurston (6, +1), Whatcom (7, +1), and Yakima (7, +2).

167 cases are currently unassigned to a county

Newly affected counties include: Franklin (1) and Mason (1)

Closures/restrictions: widespread, will have county-by-county info soon.

Hotline: 1-800-525-0127

West Virginia: last updated 3/18

2 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Eastern Panhandle (1), Mercer (1)

Unclear if Eastern Panhandle is a county but it certainly tells me where the fuck it is in the state, which is about a million times more useful than the 8 bajillion counties named Jefferson or whatever

Closures/Restrictions

The DMV limited number of customers at a time, somehow making the concept of a DMV even more hellish

Gambling is canceled

Restaurants and bars are takeout only

Wisconsin: last updated 3/18 at 2 PM

106 total cases (+34), 0 deaths

Recovery is being reported by the following counties: Dane (1)

This is updated every Friday, next update expected 3/20

Affected counties include: Dane (23, +4), Fond du Lac (12, +1), Kenosha (4, +0), Milwaukee (47, +23), Outagamie (1, +0), Pierce (1, +0), Racine (1, +0), Sheboygan (4, +1), Waukesha (5, +1), Winnebago (3, +0), and Wood (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Brown (1) and Washington (2)

Community spread is confirmed in the following counties: Dane, Kenosha, and Milwaukee

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed starting 3/18 for minimum of two weeks

No gatherings >10 people until further notice

West Bend county has closed schools until 4/13

Washington County has closed schools until 4/13

UW-Milwaukee and Madison have gone to remote learning as much as possible

Wyoming: last updated 3/18

18 cases (+7)

Affected counties include: Fremont, Laramie, and Sheridan

Newly affected counties include: Park and Teton

Today’s Hot Tips Make sure you know what your local area classifies as an “essential” business. They vary from place to place.

Hand Washing Song of the Day

If you hate singing happy birthday while you wash your hands, try Waterloo on for size!

Sorry Mom, I’m sad about Eurovision being canceled. You can find a different song you don’t hate.

Sing the first verse and chorus to follow CDC handwashing guidelines! Use soap and water with bad 70s-esque dancing for maximum efficacy and embarrassment of anyone stuck at home/work with you.

Good News, Everyone!

PENGUIN ADVENTURES CONTINUE!!!

https://twitter.com/shedd_aquarium/status/1240355878131417090?s=21

South Korea reports the number of recoveries exceeds the number of new cases for the first time since the outbreak began. Fuck yes!!!

China announced no new local transmission cases today. YELL HEAH!

I’m not sure this is good per se but someone in Spain broke quarantine in a T-Rex outfit and that was pretty funny

Chill Cat Corner Kitten Academy Live Stream: infinite kittens: http://www.youtube.com/c/KittenAcademy/live

About this newsletter I’m Emily, I’m a 4th year med student w/ a degree in molecular biology. I started this because I’m an infectious disease and epidemiology nerd and also all my friends have questions & anxiety. Hi internet! The archive/proper website is located at coronaextranewsletter.wordpress.com. All this info is sourced from regional & national public health organizations, plus the WHO. It’s as up to date as humanly possible. I’ve been beaming information about this outbreak directly into my brain 24/7 but I still miss stuff. Please let me know if I miss something! Most public health departments stop updating their information around 4-5 PM local time on weekdays. That means that the earliest this will come out is around 6 PM Pacific time on weekdays going forward. On weekends things update more sporadically and earlier, so who knows what I’ll do then, but I’ll do my best. The excellent title is courtesy of @marywhal and the Wordpress site is courtesy of @molly0xFFF and @goblintinkerer, thank you all!

For More Information JHU COVID-19 data center: https://gisanddata.maps.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6 List of peer-reviewed publications: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/publications.html WHO FAQ: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses CDC cases in the US: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html, this also has links to each state’s health dept

#corona extra #coronavirus #sars-cov-2 #pandemic #covid19 #covid corner

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