#Viking s funny

[thegothicviking]

Context: years ago I "made this" scenario/mini fic (?) all from scratch! (yes I did type all the color and font changes every time and I didn't copy or paste anything although I should have as this took me a solid 3-5 hours to make!😑)

Glad I screenshotted it or I probably would have never found it again! Anygays..here is:

4 of the Rammstein boys if they were in early 00's chat rooms!

Enjoy this shit show ❤:

[tyrannuspitch]

the fun thing about reading thor and loki as fake twins is that. everywhere in fanon absolutely everywhere people have them going big brother little brother my younger brother odin's eldest frigga's tiny litle baby etc etc it's so established so presumed but not once. not ONCE in canon do they actually say anything more than. thor was born first

[crispy-kitten-princess]

Some fanarts to bring attention to the long post about the books!

Yesterday i had finished the httyd books re-reading (it's been A MONTH), and today i watched the httyd movie for like the 30th time idk (i was really keen of it as a child)

Friendship with movie Hiccup ended, now Tuffnut and Ruffnut are my best friends. They are iconic. I remember book!Tuffnut being kinda sorta a background character, like somebody amongst the Hooligan tribe. And that's the move i liked about the dreamworks version, heh

Longpost and possible spoilers under the cut

Yeah, i loved movie Hiccup and associated myself with him very much... But now, after i reread the books, refreshed my memory about The Ending (and cried my eyes out), i found the movie rather.. strange? It leaves a lotta questions, like the world building, Astrid's behaviour, poor stylistic choise of making her as skinny and wimp as Hiccup, and Stoic s attitude towards his son, like.. stop??? He is an awful warrior ok but plz quit telling everyone around how much you are ashamed of him. Plus i miss Alvin as the main antagonist. He was one of a kind, never saw anyone so persistent to living and killing your distance nephew. And i miss Fishlegs No name as he was so cute and sarcastic. Movie Fishlegs is rather cliched

Weeeeell this whole post exists just bc i love book Hiccup sm AND THE WHOLE STORY AND I LOVE THE FIRST HICCUP AND THE SECOND AND I LOVE FURIOUS AND HIS STORY AND I LOVE FISHLEGS STORY AND DEADLY SHADOW AND I ADMIRE VALHALLARAMA AND CAMICAZI AND CHINHILDA AND TANTRUM and i miss them and i want to share my love for the books with everyone around... But amongst all my friends i don't have somebody who would've read the YA fantasy book about a 10-15 yo viking boy and his tiny arrogant dragon, and i would not either if i had not became a fan at my 12-13s by absolute chance. This is insane. I love my fixations (that's the whole point of fixating) but it hurts that I can't share it, and even if i try to explain to one of my friends who are ready to listen, I can't tell why exactly would i cry for half an hour about the children's book ending where OMG the dragon died, no waaay

I really wish it were a cartoon series based on books specifically, bc that way i could show them to my friends, which is waaaay easier than making them read the books (which is impossible, i tried). But ig.... It would stay a wish forever

I wanted to tell something about the books again. Why i like them so much? But i get too emotional about them and can't muster up ANYTHING. What CAN i say??? They are good. They are perfect. Cressida Cowell made a great job. The slightest gradient between the first and the last book makes the neighbour books in the series feel alike, but the first and the last are nothing like the other. The first is really a cute local story. WHILE THE LAST IS ABOUT CHANGING THE WORLD AND WHOLE NATION. This is incredible

Myself, i like the first 4 or 6 books more. They are so funny! I read them just for fun. But when i do, i just cant stop. And as i proceed further, the world changes, and the Fate follows the main character with a knife of misfortune (i wish i could play with English words as i do in my native language lol) - or good luck! Who knows, when you survived so many terrible moments, are you extra lucky or the exact opposite?

The first books don't even have in them the main thought of the last - dragon slavery. Or do they? Now, when i think of it, i do recognise the abuse and unappropriate attitude towards dragons, like foreshadowing... It's hard to tell if Cressida planned it all from the beginning or expanded the world as the books went further and further. Anyway, the first book os nothing like the last. The last is insane

I hate the book series endings almost every time, but not in that case. No. No. No. This one is solid perfection. It is logical. It is mature. And most importantly, it is painfully realistic. That's what broke me. The realism of the ending, where the magical creatures have to vanish from the human world just to save themselves. It is common for books like that to end with death of all magical (like it dies when we grow up, blablabla and so on) and it is the story of maturing, but that is not all. It matches with our world, where all living things die away and vanish eventually, if they are not significant for human race survival... But in our case they will never ever return from some North fields or sea hollow. Abused animals have neither intelligence to speak for themselves nor some kind guy to save them. Theme of war and death is extremely actual rn too. And i was devastated when the peace was established and shortly after that Furious died 🤪🤪 amazing, thank you. It killed me when he said that he was dead for all these years, and lived again only after Hiccup III spoke to him and returned him to his right mind

This is a mess I'm sorry 😔

I remembered now that it supposed to be a post bout the movie I've just watched. Well. The movie's best part is that it brought my mother's attention to the book series,, i was obsessed with the movie therefore she gifted me the books, and i became so obsessed with them that she even yelled at me for rereading them so frequently, lol

I can't say anything about the movie. I have no thoughts. I guess i just re watched it too many times as a kid to feel anything anymore. It didn't work with the books though. Reading them again 6-7 years later the latest reread, as an adult, i figured out that they aged extremely well. I found inspiration in them. I'm lost in thoughts about them. I want them to be more popular and well-known. And i hate fucking live action movie btw if you even care 😘💅 not to think about all of the resources that could ve been put in use to make cartoonish HTTYD books real

Plz, if you came that far, reblog or comment with something thoughtful, it would be mush appreciated

Upd.: this one is obvious but I loveeeee the trope. When Hiccup went on the impossible journey of Training His Dragon Toothless, he learned how to deal with arrogant, whining, lazy people. He learned how to be a a leader who listens to his followers, a teacher, a mentor to all the crazy arrogant and wild viking nation, and that is why the title of the book focuses on Training your dragon

I'd looove to hear everyone's opinion about the series. Plz share yours!!! I love you fellow httyd fan

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

the treatment of the deathgrippers in httyd 3 honestly rubbed me the wrong way too ngl. especially the portrayal of them as "evil" and that toothless just kills them when a.) your point of it being contradictory to the theme there are no bad dragons, only bad humans, b.) the deathgrippers are just animals. they try to make them sound more threatening by saying they hunt other dragons but that's like saying a hawk is evil for hunting other birds, and c.) they were victims too that weren't even acting on their own will, grimmel literally enslaved them.

and honestly the whole mess of httyd 3 is just cemented by the homecoming holiday special where, in the absence of dragons, a new generation of berkians are growing up fearing and hating dragons and wanting to kill them, just like stoick's generation did, because they feared the unknown. gee, it's almost like it just drives home the point that separating the dragons and the vikings was the wrong choice all along, because rather than protect dragons from humans you just reignited hate and misunderstanding of them...

Yup, yup! If they really wanted to drive home the fact that all dragons are good and all men are evil, they should've helped the Deathgrippers. Instead of, like, killing them off and not wasting another thought on them.

Like, RttE literally had dragon eating dragons and dragon egg eating dragons who were treated with more love and respect than the Deathgrippers. The gang even tried to raise a dragon eating dragon when they hatched Garff until they realized that Garff had needs they just could not measure up to. (Signs of actual good parenting, btw!!! This will make sense later down the post, lol)

RttE!Hiccup still gets some flack for being "out of character," (which I still don't get) but he had such a respect for dragons and a respect for the fact that there were just some things humans shouldn't get involved in.

Like when the Catastrophic Quaken seemingly takes over Dark Deep and he wants to let it be. Or when he and Toothless trap the Deathsong so their dragons (and the two Thunderdrums) can escape, but it clearly wasn't trapped for very long if they knew they could go back to place Garff with him. They didn't kill the Cavern Crasher either and the only reason they're there to help is because the Fireworm Queen specifically asked them to. Even the Screaming Death in DoB, who sunk actual islands and displaced tons of dragons, got left alone when they discovered that all he wanted was his mom. And the Screaming Death grew even bigger by RttE.

No dragon is ever truly evil in the franchise, but there are some real asshole dragons (like the Titanwing Nightmare, who harrassed that female and her eggs that Hookfang was protecting) and dragons that just don't line up with the morals of the Dragon Riders. But those morals have never stood in Hiccup's way of just accepting and respecting the nature of those dragons.

The only truly evil dragon in the franchise is the Red Death, who symbolically sits on a mountain of corpses of humans and dragons alike.

It will never not be funny that Hiccup, who has always been an out of the box thinker (except for in Httyd 3, I guess) is surprised that his very own daughter is going against the status quo New Berk set of "dragons are our friends!" without a single ounce of proof of said dragons being "our friends" and it took meeting the actual Toothless for her to realize that her parents and all the other adults were liars.

It's almost like Homecoming itself proves that the presence of dragons is necessary for people to know that dragons aren't evil or something! (/s)

And Stoick's generation didn't even fear an "unknown threat," dragons were actively killing them, stealing their food (leading to famine = more deaths) and burning down their homes (exposure = even more deaths) for no other reason than just to be cruel. Or that was certainly their view on the dragons before they learned about the Red Death. (something that the franchise itself has forgotten since Httyd 1; the Vikings had *genuine and valid* reasons to hate dragons.)

Even Zephyr doesn't hate dragons for no reason because her entire short life she's been fed this believe that dragons are their friends with no proof at all. Until she one day finds the old Book of Dragons that says otherwise (no idea why Hiccup would even keep it around) and the only conclusion the poor girl can come to is that, yep! Her parents, the two rulers of her tribe, are liars and making the entire village fall for this farce. And she's, like, 8 in Homecoming. So she's going to think that her parents (or maybe specifically Hiccup as he's The Chief) are either not good people or just not very smart people.

Or maybe that's just my bias speaking, because I am of the opinion that Hiccstrid are not good parents in Homecoming. The Snoggletog Log paints them in a much better light than Homecoming does. Loving, for sure! But waaaayyyy too lenient. Especially towards Zephyr and wanton destruction that she seems to fulfill whenever she wants.

I mean, sure, Hiccup caused some harm in Httyd 1 with his inventions, but he wasn't actively trying to harm people and all he really did was accidentally fling a bola at someone's head. Neither is Zephyr, but she's not exactly concerned about not harming people (like her own father) either. Her traps in the movie are actually the most farfetched stuff I've seen in this (previously quite grounded) franchise about riding dragons. And I love RttE, a show in which the Riders frequently get hurt in some ways.

Httyd 3 is just... such a train wreck. And Homecoming somehow makes that even worse by being a Christmas special that turns its message of "honor your loved ones" into "honor your loves ones by shitting on others" because wow! was that pageant a kick in the balls for anyone who dares to love Httyd 1 by pretending like Hiccup was barely even a character in that story and giving all of his accomplishments to his father.

I will never understand how they could've gone so wrong with this franchise.

[oh-three]

Skeleton Crew S1E4:

Title made me laugh ngl (I read it in his voice)

Did not expect the episode to begin with them finding At Attin, but okay.

They are in so much trouble lmao.

Plot twist: Silvo's actually from At Attin and he doesn't know it.

"Onto the ship. Don't make me count." SM-33 is really just a parent in disguise.

I don't think it's occurred to them that maybe they landed in an uninhabited area? Like, maybe on the wrong side of the planet or something?

LMAO, the kids were right, this is a different planet. That's funny. Knew it was too good to be true.

Okay, Mr. "Can't say I remember no At Attin." WHY ARE YOU LYING.

At Achran is giving me viking/medieval vibes.

Eopies :D With horns!

I love the Troik accent.

"Ah, but only this world, we treat our children as adults." Yeah, kinda figured that when there were two kids showing up in a warzone talking about enemy patrols.

Hayna's badass btw.

Not sure how I feel about Strix yet. He's…interesting.

It's hilarious how Silvo & SM-33 keep treating each other like children and the actual children like adults.

"Just shoot me." Lmfao, man's given up already.

Wait, is At Achrann really a clone of At Attin? Because Neel seems very confident with the layout of the city.

It's really interesting seeing Neel & Hayna's heart-to-heart about about their different cultures. I love how people from such different ways of life can get along.

Wim lifting a gun that weighs as much as he does lol

The way they didn't even give them armor smh

Okay, yeah, Strix is…not great. I petition for Hayna to replace him.

Hayna volunteering to go with them because she recognizes that this isn't something they know how to do like she does, that they don't have that same type of courage. She should totally be in charge one day, with empathy like that. She'd make a great leader.

…..How did Silvo and SM-33 manage that???????

Silvo requesting the kids back as his reward for returning the eopies is great. Except there's probably a catch.

HE ROBBED A KID. I mean……at least he used those credits for a good cause, but wtf, man. You're not helping them decide whether you're trustworthy or not lol.

Oh…….yeah, okay. They've known each other for like a day (not even), but sure. Good for you, Neel.

At Aytuu, At Achrann, At Arissia, At Aravin, At Acoda, At Attin…Why do they all start with double "A"s?

Rip coordinates.

??????????????????

HE'S BEEN THERE?

Holy shit, his memory is fucked. Or he's playing them hard.

He broke Fern.

Fern & Wim 😭

FERN, YOU GENIUS.

SM-33's old captain sucked…

FERN. CAN YOU UNDO THAT PLEASE.

THANK GOD FOR THAT. Legit never thought I'd be glad droids can be powered down.

Anyway, I think we're all thoroughly traumatized now. I knew something was off about SM-33, but wow. That was not what I expected from my silly pirate droid. Hopefully they can make him forget that bit of memory. I do like him.

[autisticlalna]

Man, wouldn’t it be messed up if SBK!Ruby is/becomes Sapphire? Like, Saph has no interest in TVintage. SBKRuby is probably gonna be betrayed by Volm in some way which, would probably make them at least hesitant to trust another Vintage. Saph has a missing brother and seems to always be down to beat up Viking. Ruby fell from his home (and would have lost connection to any sibling[s] they might have) and was told to not trust someone that they took to mean Viking.

This is Not likely to be what’s actually going on (highly improbable actually) but I think some of the connections are funny!

[dopscratch]

i kid you not when i say i looked up these two at 4 am hoping for some crumbs but jere you are writing a whole fanfic ( thank you so much🤩).

I personally haven't read the httyd books only the series and movies. If you don't mind could u give a mini summary as u plan to write after book 8? If not i hope you have a wonderful day/ night!

(If uave tons of other questions but don't want to spam so ill just leave this here)

AUDHJSHDHD thank you so much for sending an ask i literally have none ever HAHA

im glad you enjoy the concept :)

the books are very different fron the movies in a large number of ways! in the books, vikings stat out with dragons, and hiccup's main problem is training his own, which he can't do by the normal strategy of yelling- a) because he's not the best yeller and b) because his little green hunting dragon, toothless, is as disobedient as it gets (and smaller than everyone else's to boot!)

in the books, vikings typically have hunting dragon(s) which are smaller and usually dog-sized, as well as a riding dragon, which is larger and obviously ridable. hiccup's riding dragon is a scraggly feathery dragon called the Windwalker who was rescued from slavery :)

one of the biggest differences as well, is that dragons can speak. most are just as intelligent as humans, some even more so, and they're generally cruel by nature. their culture encourages them to act selfishly and it's worked out pretty well for them, hence why most vikings train theirs by fear or exerting power. hiccup, who is nerdy enough to have sat out where the wild dragons are and literally learned their language has been attempting to train HIS by speaking to them, which has some mixed results. windwalker is actually quite mellow and loyal, since hiccup's probably the first person to show him kindness. toothless is just a little brat with a stammer, but he does have softness in his heart deep deep down.

characterization-wise, everyone's a lot different as well.

hiccup, as stated before is a nerd who'll rattle off dragon facts in dangerous situations while fishlegs is more of the sarcastic romantic, basically think of it like the movies swapped their personalities. he also has bright red Heroic Hair that stands straight up and they robbed that from him in the movies and i will never forgive them. hes also an excellent swordfighter and its just about the only traditionally viking thing he's good at :). also, his mother is never kidnapped by dragons- but she IS gone often, out questing. her name is valhallarama and she is an absolute beast of a woman they definitley nerfed her when they turned her to valka

fishlegs is a skinny little loser (affectionate) who's allergic to dragons, has a plethora of other medical conditions too, and is acrually an orphan and was raised by a long-eared caretaker dragon. he's also hiccup's best and only friend at the start of the series. he's arguably worse at being a viking as hiccup is and they both bond over how they wish society would allow them to not be brainless fighters. his dragon is a lazy common-or-garden-or-basic-brown named horrorcow, she's both a pacifist and a vegetarian. when he was catching his dragon, he actually wanted to grab a nadder, which is long and serpentine because nadder is a pun on adder and i have no idea why the movies didn't see that

snotlout is hiccup's cousin and hates him more than anything in the world, and not in a ha-ha funny way either. he legitamately wishes hiccup were dead or never born because he hates to see this "runt" next in line for chief instead of him. he is constantly literally trying to make hiccup's life miserable or literally murder him and once again this is not played for laughs. his dragon's a mean monstrous nightmare- a hunting dragon only the chief and descendanrs of should have- named fireworm, and she is very full of herself. hookfang is actually one of stoick's monstrous nightmares!

another main character is camicazi, who appears in book 3 onward and she was so powerful they had to split her into three characters in the movies (she's sorta like if you took the thorston twins and astrid and mashed them all together, then added another sprinkle of chaos). she's a short little kid from another tribe of all-female warriors called the bog-burgalars and an excellent escape artist. she has a mood dragon- a serpentine, color-changing dragon named stormfly who can actually speak the human language too. she's not very helpful though since shes a pathological liar.

the main villain is named alvin the treacherous and he's a ridicuoulsly resiliant guy who reaaaally wants hiccup dead for a multitide of reasons we don't need to get into now since hw won't really appear in my work haha

i think ive gotten a lot of basics down, but obviously there's a ton more! in regards to knowledge for my crossover though thats essentially some of the main points you need to know. by the 8th book, hiccup has been on a multitide of adventures (and has nearly died or gotten eaten on all of them) but the world hasn't changed irreparably yet :). i plan on writing it in a way that can accomodate people with no knowledge of httyd, since most of it will be from the touden party's pov exploring the world! you'll be getting plenty of detailed descriptions of some of the dragon species as laios's nerdiness will help show

i would absolutely reccomend checking out the books, though! you can usually find them at your local library, and there's also the entire series of audiobooks on youtube! there's a very dedicated group of people on here who love the httyd books including me who would love to help you get into them as well, if that's what you'd like!

i'll round this off with a few of my renditions of some of the characters i've drawn :)

i hope this was helpful, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask me! i love getting asks but never do lol

[atefingersdagger]

Very curious about your wedding headcanons! We only get to see D4’s traditions and a little bit of D12, so I want to hear your ideas for the others (D2 especially haha)

thank you!!!

Okay, so I actually have talked extensively about District 2 weddings in the sequel to my main series (Of the Fitest, which is on ao3), and it's the only district I've thought about deeply in terms of wedding headcanons. I'll go into them here!

District 2 weddings are one of the only, if not singular, exceptions to socially acceptable public displays of affection (this plays a role in Cato and Clove having to play up their dynamic for cameras). Traditions include the vows and officiating.

However, what makes them stand out is pebbles! Instead of a flower girl and the petals being laid ahead of the bride, people lay pebbles down own the walk way as the bride and groom exit the building. Many people even see collecting those pebbles as good luck for their own loves, or will save them for their own or their family members' weddings. It's a symbol of stability.

Here's an exerpt from Of the Fitest (doesn't spoil the story):

"The exception to the rule would be wedding ceremonies, a type of event she’s been to a few times for family members or family friends. Traditions require the usual vows and officiating before pebbles are placed behind the couple as they walk upon the aisle. It’s common for people to collect tiny rocks throughout their lives for the occasion. Some pick them up after for good luck, pocketing them once the partying portion begins. Clove picked off plenty from the aisles as a kid, the little things of all different colors and sizes still in a small pouch in her bedroom."

Another District 2 wedding headcanon is that people will carve names or initials into rocks and leave them out in the world as another form of good luck- symbolizing their love in something that is harder to destroy than flesh. Sometimes, those rocks will be placed in areas only the couple know or the place where they met.

One of the other traditions in 2 is a lesser one or mainly phased out in the years of Clove and Cato; blood mixing. The old "slice the hand open and hold hands," adage. It's not common as many people don't want blood on their wedding garments. However, some still do it.

Here's another exerpt from Of the Fitest (spoiler free!) that explains:

"There’s plenty of different traditions for marriages in 2. Once the couple gets their papers filled, they may celebrate how they wish. There’s the pebbles down the isle, the slicing of hands and mixing blood – that’s a rare one if the bride is wearing white – some carve their names in delicate rocks, either to keep or to throw back into nature as good luck. Traditions were always arbitrary to her, and..."

Funny enough, in the last chapter of my main series I completed, Clove talks with someone about District 2 weddings. She thinks about how bridesmaids aren't a big thing, although they are there at many weddings. Usually, it's just a maid of honor or a few others. She also thinks of having bouquets of knives.

One District 2 wedding headcanon that is recent so not mentioned in my fanfics (yet) is the flowers used often being Gladiolus. A flower that is named after the Latin term for sword (very District 2) and is also known as a "sword lily" for its shape. They aren't native to America, but they were grown in Panem regardless, and their seeds carried on.

I headcanon District 2's music as being full of hurdy gurdys, lyres, and flutes. Very medieval-esq music and some viking-like traditions in addition (as I like to compare 2 to vikings as much as ancient Romans), and those intrustments would be used at the celebrations!

I think goats milk would also be drank during celebrations as Sejanus Plinth mentioned in tbosas that goats milk reminds him of 2, implying that it was a popular drink there.

For other districts; I imagine District 8 would have a new cloth woven for the bride that is placed over her shoulders to symbolize protection and comfort in the marriage as they are the textile district.

I think 12, 4, and 2 are districts we know about the most via the novels, so it's much easier to think of headcanons that are built upon the characteristics of the preexisting cultures. I have a small headcanon that District 1 will make beautiful necklaces for the bride and groom. As of the other districts, I need to think on more, but since I'm so focused on Clove, it's all District 2, baby!

Thank you so, so much for asking cause I get to yap and word vomit all of this useless info into one place and wrap it up in a nice bow!

[thegamingcatmom]

You ask and you'll receive..

So this you probably have told me already, but remind me: what is it about the Denali sisters that interests you so much? 😏

Oh wow, that was fast. 😅

But I THANK YOU greatly for giving me an opportunity to gush and fangirl. 🥰

Well I mean, first the obvious: They´re hawt. 😏

Then there´s the fact they´re a little bit over a millenia old. (Guess I´ve always been into older women, lmao.) That´s just so mind-blowing! Like, can you imagine the things they must´ve witnessed? All those inventions that changed our world forever, the great wars and tragedies, the people they´ve probably met and so on.

Conversations with the sisters would be so fascinating! The stuff they could tell you which probs sounds like a fever dream, but it´s actually real because they were there. They saw it happening. That´s just-

ANSFÖLASNFDANSDF

It´s a good thing that time is something they got loads of, because I´d ask them SO many questions. They´d have to frequently remind me that-

"Honey, you´re adorable, but it´s been weeks and we need to feed...and so do you."

LIKE-

AM SORRY BUT YOU´RE JUST SO FASCINATING. 😭

Then you´ve got their personalities, which are basically the total opposites of the Cullens, lol. Like, it´s just so funny because, remember at the wedding in BD Part 1 when Kate was so friendly and, dare I say, tame when she went like "We´ve heard so much about you!" to Bella? Even her voice was different, all high-pitched to make her sound as non-threatening as possible, lol.

Then we see her "true" self in BD Part 2 where she was basically threatening Bella with zapping Renesmée to get her to work that shield of hers. And I mean, that´s just Kate, right? We know that now - she loves to live risky (well, risks that don´t involve the Volturi, lol). All the sisters do, I reckon. Or at least Tanya and Kate probs. Irina is more the silent bystander, watching proceedings with equal parts amusement and disappointment. 😂

Anyhow, MY POINT IS: They´d be fucking hilarious to be around. They´d be so chill and carefree because they don´t see the need to hide their true self like the Cullens do. Probs because they don´t see the need to "blend in" in the first place. Like going to school and some shit. Hell nah. They mostly stick to themselves, except for the times they need something from the local stores, like interior deco or something.

*looks pointedly at Carmen*

We also know most (or some) of the Cullens are ashamed of what they are, or feel like it´s a curse or something. The Denalis are the complete opposite of that yet again, at least that´s how I HC it. Perhaps it´s the age and they just got used to the idea by now, because what else can they do? What´s the point in moping around all the time about something you can´t change anyway? You gotta make the best of it. 🤷‍♀️

*looks pointedly at Edward*

(Wisdom does come with age, after all.)

So yeah, I think they´re defo able to see the benefits of eternity rather than focusing only on the hellfire aspect, which the Cullens seem to be in the belief of. Like, believing they´re gonna end up in hell simply for being what they are, yknow. I mean, I don´t judge them for their beliefs or anything. They were born in different times, so ofc they might see some things differently. But I also think the Denali´s age has kinda made them more...receptive to other beliefs and ideas? When you witness the world changing/adapting over and over and over, you´re bound to develop a certain "attitude", I imagine.

Which, again, their age just makes it so fascinating because they´ve probs witnessed The Bible being written or something, lol. Perhaps they were looking over the one or other shoulder going like-

"Yeah, that´s not what happened dude." LMAO

(Just kidding ofc. The Bible was written way before the sisters were even born, but I think it´s hilarious to imagine it, lel.)

And again, THEIR AGE. I just can´t get over it. Like, all those historical events they´ve probs witnessed???

The Viking Age

Christianity in Medieval Europe

Holy Roman Empire

etc.

yes, I totally went and googled "historical events around 1000 AD" and I highly recommend it because history is fucking fascinating, especially imagining the sisters having witnessed some of it

PLEASE. 😭

I mean, tbh, I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and-

What´s not to love about the sisters? About all of the Denalis, actually.

So, lemme summarize it as followed:

To the Denalis, the glas is always half full probs. Wouldn´t you want to surround yourself with such positive mindsets? 😉

Thanks for your ask! 💋💋

[angel-of-the-moons]

Khonshu learning Finnish for me would be so so funny like

"Olet rakas" (you are dear/I love you)

"Minä tiedä" (I know)

"😨"

Like what do u mean u understand me. Stop ittt nauw

Him being a god, I feel like he probably knows a LOOOOOT of languages, especially because he's been around for so long 👀 gotta communicate with his Avatars somehow. Hell, bro had a Viking Avatar at some point!

Even better, imagine him leaning down and whispering dirty stuff in your ear in your native language(s) and then fucking off to leave you flustered hehehhe

[canyounotexistelias]

As a fan of ghosts bbc who has never watched the American version but has heard that’s it’s not nearly as good, here’s my ideal list of characters. Because really, American history is so bonkers, how do you not make it incredibly entertaining? Just the premises of the time era/

Character 1: Native American, 1200’s/BEFORE Christopher Columbus

I don’t know what area of America the reboot takes place, but in my ideal version, it’s in upstate New York for reasons I’ll elaborate on later. Bc of that, the character is form the Iroquois Confederacy- I think maybe part of the Oneida tribe? (Also for reasons I’ll explain later). Either way, they’re not quite like Robin as they’re not the “appear stupid but smart” type of character, a bit more like Humphrey I think.

Character 2: a Viking

I just think it’d be neat. I don’t know nearly as much about the Vikings as other characters, but that way we’d get a bit of variety. Maybe a bit more like Robin, but mainly a side character that appears every once in a while, like how Humphrey does.

Character 3: pilgrim/puritan

Ideally mid-1600s, so before revolutionary war but at height of witch burning frenzy. Could be similar to Mary, but I’m thinking more so in uptight, rule-following in the beginning, but secretly far more adventurous than most (more similar to Fanny maybe).

Character 4: utopia member

I’m not a huge fan of the revolutionary era, I’m afraid, so no revolutionary characters. However, I absolutely adore the antebellum era as a time to study because it was so wild, so a character from that time! We have a relatively normal, nice ghost, except they were part of a utopia cult- bonus points if it’s the Oneida community or the shakers.

Character 5: almost a flapper from the 20’s.

This is our almost-kitty! She’s the younger sister of a flapper, loved music, and had obviously family issues- maybe also communist to deal with Red Scare #1? Would be interesting.

Character 6: man of the house in the 50’s.

This is the alternate version of the Captain. He’s a WW2 vet who came back to the US, died in 53 and is very, very gay. probably a government person who had to go through the lavender scare as well? (The captain’s my favorite I had to make sure they did him respect)

Character 7: Reagan fan

In honor of Julian the Tory, we have a Reaganite as well. NOT like Julian in any other respect simply bc I think that fits better for the next character- mostly a Traditional Family person who appears very kind but can be CRUEL- think your republican aunt. She’s a 45 year old who has some Very Pointed Opinions about trickle-down economics, but still died early into reagan’s reign.

Character 8: stockbroker from 2000’s

This is Julian. He died right before the stock market crash out of humiliation from a sex scandal, of course, while residing in his families’ upstate house. Why, you may ask? Well, because it’s funny.

Anyways, I have no idea if this matches any of the ghosts CBS characters, but I think this would be an ideal American Cast. Feel free to add anything if you disagree/have ideas.

[tyrannuspitch]

sjdsk was going to get emotional about the Only Character To Say The Word Love thing again but then was saved by newfound layers of bitchiness, thank u passive aggressive king <3

"i love thor more dearly than any of you". already kind of mean or at least cold on the surface right. but i've just realised. this CAN mean "thor is MY brother. not yours <3" but it could - hypothetically - also mean... "thor is my brother <3 the rest of u can die for all i care"

[ashleybenlove]

Hello! I saw your "Character Ask" post, so Here I am 😄😂

What are your thoughts on Ryker Grimborn

Thank you!!!

Hello! That's a good choice.

one aspect about them i love: His first scene shows he has a healthy respect for dragons as dangerous.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them: Probably that it's likely his relationship with Viggo was very one-sided. Ryker cared; Viggo didn't. (Ryker gets one mention after season 4, and it's not by Viggo.)

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: He's about 7 years older than Viggo, around 45.

one character i love seeing them interact with: Dagur, because Dagur is so feral and Ryker, while a brute, is very much not feral, and it's funny to see him have to put up with him. Like, a Viking Odd Couple.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: The Dragon Riders.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: I definitely agree with the headcanons that say he was married and had kids.

Character Ask Game

[fanficfish]

came on tumblr to find some funny fanart and history facts but i blew theough my feed so funky wrring ideas time!

here's a little hogwarts x hetalia idea i was working on to entertain myself the other day

So the premise was that, y'know how in HP there's dragons and a couple are Scandinavian? Norweigen Eidgeback, Sweedish Shoetsnout. And Denmark has a magical government. Finland the personification also probably has some magic because of the whole santa thing, and just becuase tou can't see norway's trolls doesn't mean you don't know Hp magic cuz even muggles can see that stuff. So let's assume countries could see HP magic, just not always do it themselves. And i would hope they know about their magical governmwnts except maybe America who is in denial. Actually maybe Germany doesn't know either but you canMt tell me the Nordics don't know about theirs, not when Norway is right there and Iceland literally has A TALKING BIRD and can probably dk magic if he wanted to and Sweden is up in the air (i like the headcanon he's very much in need of a new glasses prescription) but i want to say he does because finland + isn't durnatrang somewhere up there and potentially in Sweden? And Denmark, well he's besties with Norway sooooo

also you can't tell me they didn't know for 1000 years like c'mon. Older countries def know about magic and younger countries are like modern people, they don't believe it unless it's smack in their face. Can't tell me HTTYD came out of nowhere either and is based on VIKINGS-

anyways lets say this is set like 2000s after stuff dies down

so i had this little picture where the nordics got really bored and what did they do? Hey look, a dragon! Let's ride it!

iceland thinks it's a bad idea but nation power = animals galore so anyways now Norway and Swedenband suprirsingly Denmark are being menaces on dragons. Finland is filmin but soon joins Sweden on his Sweedish Shortsnout. Iceland will keep his feet on the ground thank you very much he does not like flying, when his whole thing is boats and water and fishing.

well before he knows it, the Nordics have a new paatime: professional dragon riding. And professional HTTYD-type fighting. Cuz wizards love old stuff like that.

they get a little popular to Iceland's annoyance

anyways at some point they end up at hogwarts and oh joy this is fine. Iceland just has to talk to each year, because five days = mornings + afternoons = ten slots for this little guest series and if they give years 1-7 one of those slots each and then some extra time for the COMC class and then pne more day for doing whatever like demos or stuff or in case of a delay, it works out peefectly! Iceland as the one not riding gets deemed "the lresenter" but its fine he leads tours of his home all the time anyways being in tourism buisness.

and anyways they're using Norway's usual ruse of "my name is Lukas Bondevik, heir of the Ancient House lf Bondevik" and Sweden pulls out his "my laat name is Oxenstierna" card whoch Denmark stares and gapes at. While sweden snickers, and Iceland just triesbto figure out s family tree to explain that one because seriously you guys one day the public will realize something's up idc if the both governments muggle and matic said it's fine-

anyways he always starts his spiel to the children with with "don't try this at home dragons are DANGEEROUS, yes rhe hirncolor is natural, and for the older ones "no i am taken i am not single" (he's refering to having a life partner in a bird as his one truest friend btw)

and iceland is just kinda done by the end lf it, cuz he's on the ground and the nordics are showing off more and more and finally on the laat day after telling everyone he doesnt fly for pwrsonal reaskns he loses it at Norway, Denmark, Sweden, and Finland teasing him and oop now he's flying and the others are scrambling a little because it's Iceland that knows things the wizards want to know, and Denmark is trying to keep it together while Norway takes pics and Sweden is flying because kh gosh iceland gkt on NORWAY's dragon and Finland is laughing. Hogwarts is amazed the 17 year. Old can also fly but also omfg-

and that's as far as i got for now tbh

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

I think I speak for everyone when I say that Jack Black is awesome. Ever since the one-two punch of 2008’s Kung Fu Panda and Tropic Thunder, Black has steadily seen himself rise to becoming a wacky and near universally beloved cultural icon, with zany YouTube videos and roles such as the gay psychic viking musician Helmut Fullbear in Psychonauts 2 and fucking Bowser of all people in The Super Mario Bros. Movie fully cementing his status as one of the most fun actors working today. But this sort of adoration wasn’t always the case.

Sure, everyone loved School of Rock and Tenacious D had a solid stoner buddy comedy film and some amusing songs, but Black’s career prior to the 2010s was pretty spotty and filled with bad and disposable comedies; there’s a reason he’ s playing the character stuck in a rut of making nothing but flatulent fat joke comedy movies in Tropic Thunder, after all. He still had some speedbumps to overcome before he’d reach Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and Goosebumps even after his well-received 2008 films, and after starring in a film in 2009 that ended Harold Ramis’ career (and that I’m sure you’ll all vote for me to rewatch eventually), he made a pit stop in 2010 to dent his own career… but it wasn’t just him who suffered thanks to Gulliver’s Travels.

You see, this movie has an interesting bit of trivia to it that s likely the only reason it’s even vaguely remembered at all. Emily Blunt was contractually obligated to star in this film as a result of starring in The Devil Wears Prada, which on its own isn’t all too interesting… But because of this, she had to skip out on being Black Widow in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While Iron Man 2 wouldn’t have been better with her in it, the MCU as a whole might have benefited from having an actress as good as her as the first superheroine in the franchise. Maybe we could have even gotten a Black Widow movie sooner, and with less awful villains and terrible CGI!

This is all the film gets remembered for today, if it’s remembered at all: A footnote for the MCU, and one that hurt the careers of its lead actors for a couple of years until they were able to bounce back with more critically-acclaimed films. At best, those into more niche and obscure media might know that this films has a lot of material reworked from a scrapped adaptation of the Prometheus and Bob shorts from Nickelodeon’s KaBlam! It can’t even be remembered as some ridiculously huge bomb, because even with it making less than half its budget back domestically, internationally it managed to double it!

So hey, maybe those international audiences were on to something. Sure, it was critically reviled but it was also successful overseas, so maybe other countries knew something we didn’t here in America. Is Gulliver’s Travels really that bad, or is this a hidden Jack Black gem that America was too hard on?

THE GOOD

I think what really surprised me the most is the set design and costumes. Maybe I’ve just been absolutely poisoned by the non-stop onslaught of CGI as of late, but it was really nice to see some actual sets, actual costumes, and actual effort on display in a movie, even if it wasn’t the most amazing thing out there.

The film also has some very fun sequences, all of them obviously revolving around Jack Black. There’s the scene where he has to put out a fire and, uh, uses his natural hose to extinguish the flame (which is apparently lifted directly from the original book), which manages to be one of the only funny pee jokes in human history thanks to James Corden becoming doused in urine; there’s a scene where JB has to defeat an armada of ships and manages to do it with an accidental counter attack that eerily manages to foreshadow the climax of Kung Fu Panda 2; and there’s a scene where JB is banished to an island where he is kidnapped by a giant girl and turned into a doll in her dollhouse. Fun sequences like this make full use of the world the film has created.

Also, yes, it’s a bit dumb and cringey how one of the major conflicts in the film is solved by Jack Black randomly breaking out into a musical number, but if you’re gonna pay for Jack Black you gotta get him to sing. This one time, I’ll let the corny dance party ending slide—but it’s on thin fucking ice.

THE BAD

I mean, with both James Corden and T.J. Miller in the film, it’s no surprise there’s plenty of suckiness to the proceedings.

I think the main issue is that the film is too short and doesn’t really do enough with its premise. Now, I’m no expert on the book this is loosely adapting seeing as I’ve never read it, but I feel like they could have done more than just liberally adapt elements for a silly family film, and I also think eighty minutes isn’t nearly enough time to really delve into things. And even having never read it, this is taking one of the greatest pieces of classic literature written by one of history’s sharpest satirists (Johnathan Swift, he of A Modest Proposal fame) and turned it into a wacky vehicle for Jack Black. It’s kind of hard not to feel a bit bitter we didn’t get a straighter modernized adaptation instead of a wacky family film.

Aside from that, though, the worst I can say is that some of the humor is pretty dorky or cringey, and that not a lot of performances really stand out. The former is to be expected from a silly family film like this, but the latter is pretty damn shocking considering the massive amounts of talent in this film. Black is having fun, but his hamming doesn’t always land, nor does his oversaturation of pop culture references; Emily Blunt and Jason Segel are okay, but they feel a bit overplayed and underplayed, respectively; Billy Connolly is barely even trying as the king, but it’s not like he’s given good material; and the rest of the cast are perfectly serviceable but not exactly standout. Everything is just okay (even Corden and Miller, but I hate them so let’s just say they suck).

I think my biggest issue is that even if nothing is done offensively badly here, the film’s story is packed far too tightly with the most expected family film cliches you can imagine. You’ve got a really basic “liar revealed” plot at the core, you have the character getting bad romantic advice from his friend that leads to a third act breakup with his love interest, you have the most shallow romantic arc in the world beside that with one of the most unrealistic reactions you could ever imagine from a woman who has been repeatedly lied to by the guy crushing on her… It’s just really tired and sloppy. You have seen all the plot points here in a dozen better films.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Maybe it’s just because I was expecting a lot worse, but I honestly found this film to be kind of charming.

Like, sure, it’s not really anything special. It’s just a goofy Jack Black family film, and as far as those go it’s definitely nothing compared to Nacho Libre. But it doesn’t really overstay its welcome, it has a few chuckles, Black gets to sing, and James Corden gets doused in piss, so I can’t say I didn’t find some enjoyment in it. It’s a silly little disposable bit of fluff that’s fun to watch once and maybe put on in the background if you need some noise, and there’s a place for films like that in this world.

But, you know, I kind of get why audiences didn’t vibe with this. Nothing in this movie is as offensively bad as a lot of other family fantasy films of the time, but there’s nothing that really stands out here either. You’ve got some cool scenes, cool ideas, and Jack Black hamming it up, but none of it really ever gels into something great. This is a completely average, somewhat enjoyable, and kind of forgettable film, and I completely understand why it has faded from the public consciousness besides being a bit of MCU trivia. It’s not offensive or bad enough to really bring out intense emotion, but it isn’t good enough to gush about, and Jack Black has been in so many better roles lately that utilize the traits this film is banking on far better that it’s hard to recommend this unless you’re really curious or bored.

That 4.9 is pretty harsh though, honestly. I gave it a 6, mostly because I just found the whole thing endearingly dorky, but realistically I’d say maybe in the mid to high 5 range is where this movie belongs. It’s got plenty of cringey moments and it’s not really mind-blowing, with it relying far too much on cliché plot elements you see in a lot of bargain bin family films, but I think there’s just enough effort on display here to make this a passable viewing experience. As far as corny Jack Black movies go, you could be doing a lot worse than watching this one.

A lot worse.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts - Viking Funeral - The Victimless Crime

Warning Spoilers May Appear.

I love that Jay is like "this is a crime" and is all freaked out about that AS HE IS COMMITTING THE CRIME and not like... idk before they start committing a crime? Like, dude....

I also like how the first seconds show no Thor, but then Thor appears after Sam's like "stop complaining."

"Lmao - victim says it's okay."

Thor just standing here like 'Yup, okay."

Since this is before the Viking funeral comes up, I wonder how Thor felt about them hiding his bones. Maybe he figured a proper burial might be the same as a funeral? Maybe, after all this time, he just doesn't care?

Aww Jay.

He's going to do this a lot, thinking Sam's talking to him when in reality she's talking to a ghost.

And the way he describes him ending up here - I fell in love with a white girl with a cute cute butt... LMAO.

Jay's cute. He's got a thing for butts, it's well-established.

Sam's like "Not talking to you babe." Poor Jay.

He's like - I'm doing all the work and you're not even talking to me???? Sad face.

So we can get an idea of when Thor dies if we know when the Battle of SVOLDER is - plus 7 years - does anyone know when that is?

I love the way they showed us this - nice images.

It's sad that Thor was alone when he died and died because he was hit by lightning. Like we learn about Oskar later on, but I wonder how long Thor was alone?

I also wonder if there were like any other ghosts or if he was stuck there alone until Sass showed up? Poor Thor :(

LOL - yeah, a metal helmet was a bad idea. On the other hand, you should be grateful that you didn't die with it on.

'cause that would SUCK. Like the whole trying to sleep thing - it's bad enough with the shield, but with a helmet - ouch.

LOL Jay's like trying to focus on the crime and Sam is like "DUDE IT"S SO COOL THAT HE DIED BY LIGHTNING".

And Jay's like "What are we going to do here?"

LOL - he's not even pointing at Thor, but this is still funny because Thor doesn't even care. He's too in his own head.

Thor's like "Oooh, funeral - yes."

I wonder if he's thinking that he might get sucked off for the funeral or he just really wants it.

Jay's like - don't be all shocked and don't tell me.

Yes, Thor continues to explain about the idea he has and Sam ... doesn't do the same thing she did earlier with Mark? Why not?

Wouldn't that make more sense?

I do like that Thor's really into describing it.

This is funny - Jay has obviously been watching vikings on TV with Thor (per his request).

Thor's like - ooooh, I like him now.

I wonder how long it took for the various ghosts to warm up to Jay? Like he can't talk to them, so there's this barrier, and like, some might not even want to warm up to him.

I think Jay's friendships with the ghosts are interesting.

LOL - Sam really undersells his want for this.

Yes, Jay doesn't *hesitate* at all to be like "yeah, that's perfect. Let's do this."

LMAO - Jay's like "I just want to have fun" - Thor agrees and Sam's like "God I married a child."

LOL.

Thanks for reading :)