#Viking Destiny

[adamwatchesmovies]

Viking Destiny (2018)

There is so much Nordic nonsense in Viking Destiny that anything it does well must be by accident. The only times this period-piece action film manages to get a rise out of its bored audience is when it reminds you of a better movie you’d rather be watching or spits out dialogue so bad it’ll have you laughing out loud.

In the Viking kingdom of Volsung, King Asmund (Andrew Whipp) is defending his people in battle and misses the birth of his daughter. Superstition says the child is now cursed. Sensing an opportunity, Asmund’s half-brother Prince Bard (Timo Nieminen), proposes HE raise Princess Helle while his son, Soini, takes her place. Years later, Bard has King Asmund and Prince Soini murdered. Helle is framed for the crime. With no one left to oppose him, the treacherous uncle takes the throne. Now, Helle is the kingdom’s only hope.

Written, directed, and produced by David L.G. Hughes, this is the kind of passion project that plugs its fingers into its ears and yells "Not listening! lalalala!" whenever anyone attempts to criticize it. The film has some impressive-looking outdoor scenes that show off the glorious landscape of the northern country. Everything else will make you cringe. The acting is weak. You decide to give Viking Destiny a chance anyway. It looks good so maybe a dynamite story will make up for the performances. Then you notice the lackluster fight choreography. It’s another point against it, but that story… it’s coming! Until you realize you’ve been holding onto hope for nothing.

Though I have to believe it’s a coincidence, Viking Destiny is basically a dumber, gender-swapped version of The Lion King. The evil uncle who murders the rightful king and frames the real heir for the crime. The prince(ss) who goes into exile and meets a group of peaceful hippies where (s)he lives happily until dreadful news arrives: the kingdom has fallen into ruin. They can no longer run from their birthright and must return to right what's been wronged! Making lion and Disney jokes will tide you over for a while but those only go so far.

What you can look forward to are the kind of directorial choices only a 12-year-old would opt for. Prince Bard is evil. How evil? The most evil. You’d think he would raise Helle as a fail-safe to ensure he has her on his side but no. He does everything but molest her, guaranteeing she won’t bat an eye come the moment they have to fight. Does he care about the son he’s positioned to rule? Not at all. Soini is murdered with his uncle. Bard's strategy was this 21-year-long gambit that depended on… him murdering everyone else who had a shot at the title? I think there might’ve been an easier way to go about it. But then he wouldn’t get to do evil things. He’s the kind of psycho who gets the blacksmith to create a severed head flail… and then kills the blacksmith so no one else could ever make another. Huh? What? How about the scene where we see him having sex with an unnamed wench in the woods so he can slit her throat mid-coitus? At this point, his thugs have mismanaged their crops and resources so bad they’ve been reduced to cannibalism. I think he could've gotten away with murder in his bedchamber where it would've been more comfortable.

Meanwhile, Helle stumbles upon a group of flower children living in the woods without a ruler or weapons. Stunned by their gentle ways, Helle falls in love with the hunkiest one of them all. They make sweet love in a golden field bathed in sunlight - this is within minutes of them meeting and on the same day as said hunk’s wedding to another woman. Things are going relatively ok for Helle until Bard’s goons show up. You’d think the trained soldiers would make short work of the forest-dwellers but they prove themselves surprisingly effective during combat. Not because it makes sense, but because otherwise, we’d have no action climax. Cue the would-be inspirational speeches and epic battle!

There’s a lot to say about this film despite how boring it is. Throughout, Terrence Stamp appears as Odin, while Murray McArthur portrays Loki. Neither are recognizable as the Norse gods. Odin has no eyepatch, no ravens. Loki has no horns and way too much makeup. They’re basically God and the Devil whispering things to both sides and proving that Hughes knows nothing about Vikings except that they fought using melee weapons and didn’t actually have horns on their helmets.

Ranging from embarrassing to unintentionally funny, Viking Destiny is dull and unmemorable. You might remember the severed-head flail and the line about cannibalism but that’s only if your memory is exceptional. Even if the performances, the stunts and choreography, dialogue or plot were good, this would still be a cheap picture that offers nothing to those who stumble upon it. (September 11, 2020)

[kosemsultanim]

FEMALE AWESOME MEME | (3/10) Queens ~ Emma of Normandy (Vikings: Valhalla)

I arrived in this county as a 15 year old girl, who could not speak the language and was a piece of property. I am now the queen of an expanding empire, and a wealthy woman in my own right. If you think that I'm incapable of taking care of both, my husband's interest and my own, you do so at your own peril.

[kotori-mochi]

Art commission done!! Thank you

Daggron for commissioning me and for your patience. I'm so happy you like it X3

Destiny2 oc

[erraticrandomficwriter]

A random crossover edit featuring my Vikings OCs; Raevyn (I am Viking), Snow/Hoenira (Actions Speak Louder), and Ingrid (Web of Destiny)

[tyrannuspitch]

when the hero and the villain know each other better and love each other more than anyone else in the entire world . and this love is fundamentally inseparable from the fact that they ARE the hero and the villain

[moonlight-rider25]

Destiny is all

[total-fandom-tr45h]

I'm about to write something so fucking chaotic-

All of the Suns, Moons, and Y/ns of my aus meeting in one place.

.............

This is going to be fun.

I should probably include the Eclipses too, don't want them feeling left out-

[the-light-finds-its-way]

Ya Titan was metal af while wearing lots of metal last night. It was awkward, being the only sober one at a party of 50-60 drunk people. But they had no mead, which is the only alcohol I drink. Idk how to cope with the awkwardness tbh. At least they had my favorite water ever, Liquid Death.

[knightposting]

My continued annoyance at the overall flavor of Berserker versus the fact that I DO wanna go apeshit with the claws

[chaoticpersontale]

The last kingdom

[cobragardens]

Fun fact! Birds of the British Isles are rapidly disappearing.

Populations of some species have declined more than 50% in just 5 years.

This is thought to be due to a combination of habitat loss and the 90% decrease in bug populations since 1970 due to, wait for it...pesticide use.

Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

[theversevoyager]

A shadowed soul, once bound by chains of fate, Awakens in a time of yore and distant state. Within the ancient realm of Vikings bold and free, An alchemist's touch transforms her destiny. In twilight's shroud, she finds her heart unbound, As love and loyalty forge her newfound ground. The echoes of the past fade into naught, In the embrace of history, her spirit caught.

[danielleurbansblog]

Review: The Runes of Dokksdottir

Synopsis: The Dokkrsdottir is not your ordinary Norse woman of the Viking age. One of the great warriors of her time, she soon learns that the hardest battles are not always those fought with a sword and shield. Through countless trials and tests, she is led by visions and omens on numerous adventures with the help of steadfast friends and family to discover her mysterious supernatural destiny,…

[rosewill25]

Cue the leapers of dawn from baskless emerald of ether! By rosewill #gilgamesh #irish #scottiesofinstagram #vikings #quote #poems #wanderlust #brave #nature #fatestaynight #destiny https://www.instagram.com/p/CnOWz8GpaZlWpFF4XNne0vlXJ2dQVGhyXl7ZF40/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theancientwise]

me...

EMMA OF NORMANDY & KING CANUTE Vikings: Valhalla 3.08

[ohnoitstbskyen]

do you ship any league characters together? to you have any favourite ships/otps?

also are there any rarepairs you like or do you mostly vibe with the popular ships

I maintain that Lillia/Yone is actually kind of great, Kai'sa/Taliyah is a compelling dynamic especially for hurt/comfort vibes and healing, and... look, I just think Olaf/Soraka is a compelling dynamic if you assume Olaf has an actual personality and isn't just a "RAARR VIKING BERSERKER BLARGH" 2010s internet comedy trope.

Olaf's whole thing is he's obsessed with this very specific Destiny™ that he imagines for himself, and the world keeps dangling it just out of his reach. Odeipus-like, everything he does to reach the fate he desires pushes him further onto a path he hates and fears: survival.

And Soraka is the Star-child, seer and guide of mortal fates, the gentle hand who nudges a thread into the weave of fate when it's gone astray, or who quietly crosses it into a different weave when the fates are too cruel. Olaf badly needs someone to help him come to terms with his fate, or perhaps change it. And of course there's a natural dynamic in that Soraka's power is to heal with a gentle touch and Olaf's whole thing is charging headlong into as much pain and suffering as he can possibly find, in the hopes that some of it will finally kill him.

Soraka's healing is the single most fearful and terrifying weapon Olaf can imagine, a kind of cosmic horror almost, the very embodiment of the forces that keep denying him the glorious suicide he seeks. She has the power to force him to survive. Which, y'know, beyond the poetic resonance, there's a powerful kinky dom/sub dynamic there too, if you're of a mind to go look for it.

I think healdomming is already a thing in MMO RP spaces, actually? It's basically that, but with a sub who is actively, desperately, trying to die.