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adamwatchesmovies · 1 year ago

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Viking Destiny (2018)

There is so much Nordic nonsense in Viking Destiny that anything it does well must be by accident. The only times this period-piece action film manages to get a rise out of its bored audience is when it reminds you of a better movie you’d rather be watching or spits out dialogue so bad it’ll have you laughing out loud.

In the Viking kingdom of Volsung, King Asmund (Andrew Whipp) is defending his people in battle and misses the birth of his daughter. Superstition says the child is now cursed. Sensing an opportunity, Asmund’s half-brother Prince Bard (Timo Nieminen), proposes HE raise Princess Helle while his son, Soini, takes her place. Years later, Bard has King Asmund and Prince Soini murdered. Helle is framed for the crime. With no one left to oppose him, the treacherous uncle takes the throne. Now, Helle is the kingdom’s only hope.

Written, directed, and produced by David L.G. Hughes, this is the kind of passion project that plugs its fingers into its ears and yells "Not listening! lalalala!" whenever anyone attempts to criticize it. The film has some impressive-looking outdoor scenes that show off the glorious landscape of the northern country. Everything else will make you cringe. The acting is weak. You decide to give Viking Destiny a chance anyway. It looks good so maybe a dynamite story will make up for the performances. Then you notice the lackluster fight choreography. It’s another point against it, but that story… it’s coming! Until you realize you’ve been holding onto hope for nothing.

Though I have to believe it’s a coincidence, Viking Destiny is basically a dumber, gender-swapped version of The Lion King. The evil uncle who murders the rightful king and frames the real heir for the crime. The prince(ss) who goes into exile and meets a group of peaceful hippies where (s)he lives happily until dreadful news arrives: the kingdom has fallen into ruin. They can no longer run from their birthright and must return to right what's been wronged! Making lion and Disney jokes will tide you over for a while but those only go so far.

What you can look forward to are the kind of directorial choices only a 12-year-old would opt for. Prince Bard is evil. How evil? The most evil. You’d think he would raise Helle as a fail-safe to ensure he has her on his side but no. He does everything but molest her, guaranteeing she won’t bat an eye come the moment they have to fight. Does he care about the son he’s positioned to rule? Not at all. Soini is murdered with his uncle. Bard's strategy was this 21-year-long gambit that depended on… him murdering everyone else who had a shot at the title? I think there might’ve been an easier way to go about it. But then he wouldn’t get to do evil things. He’s the kind of psycho who gets the blacksmith to create a severed head flail… and then kills the blacksmith so no one else could ever make another. Huh? What? How about the scene where we see him having sex with an unnamed wench in the woods so he can slit her throat mid-coitus? At this point, his thugs have mismanaged their crops and resources so bad they’ve been reduced to cannibalism. I think he could've gotten away with murder in his bedchamber where it would've been more comfortable.

Meanwhile, Helle stumbles upon a group of flower children living in the woods without a ruler or weapons. Stunned by their gentle ways, Helle falls in love with the hunkiest one of them all. They make sweet love in a golden field bathed in sunlight - this is within minutes of them meeting and on the same day as said hunk’s wedding to another woman. Things are going relatively ok for Helle until Bard’s goons show up. You’d think the trained soldiers would make short work of the forest-dwellers but they prove themselves surprisingly effective during combat. Not because it makes sense, but because otherwise, we’d have no action climax. Cue the would-be inspirational speeches and epic battle!

There’s a lot to say about this film despite how boring it is. Throughout, Terrence Stamp appears as Odin, while Murray McArthur portrays Loki. Neither are recognizable as the Norse gods. Odin has no eyepatch, no ravens. Loki has no horns and way too much makeup. They’re basically God and the Devil whispering things to both sides and proving that Hughes knows nothing about Vikings except that they fought using melee weapons and didn’t actually have horns on their helmets.

Ranging from embarrassing to unintentionally funny, Viking Destiny is dull and unmemorable. You might remember the severed-head flail and the line about cannibalism but that’s only if your memory is exceptional. Even if the performances, the stunts and choreography, dialogue or plot were good, this would still be a cheap picture that offers nothing to those who stumble upon it. (September 11, 2020)

#Viking Destiny #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #david l.g. hughes #terence stamp #anna demetriou #paul freeman #will mellor #murray mcarthur #ian beattie #2018 movies #2018 films

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sinnerdolly · 8 months ago

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The chosen bride — Viking!Barou Shouei.

Minors do not interact. Nsfw/Smut.

word counter—2381.

Plot—you're a French noblewoman that was forced to marry the barbarian king Barou. He seems to look at you like the most delicious peace of meat, would you fall for that abrasive sexual tension you both have?

warning— rough sex, oral sex, breeding kink, arranged marriage. Y/n's is short and has huge boobs.

English isn't my mother language, if you see any error you're welcome to correct me.

Since I was little, my father repeated over and over again in my ears: "You can't imagine the future I chose for you". Of course, until I was twenty-two I had nothing left to do but fantasize about the meaning of it, because he claimed that he didn't want to make my sisters jealous.

I was immensely disappointed when I found out the truth: here I was engaged to a barbarian king who examined me as if I were an insect. His smug gaze fell on my breasts and then on my hips.

“I’ll keep her” Just like that King Barou sentenced my destiny to be his wife.

The nobles around him seemed not to like the idea very much, one of them dared to speak and told him something in Nordic, a language that Chigiri not long ago began to teach me.

“Her hips are thick, her breasts are huge, and her skin is pink. Lady D'angelo seems much more fertile than all our women, whoever challenges me again will clean their own blood from the stone under my feet.”

Chigiri and I exchanged glances, the comment would have been about my uneven appearance compared to the Viking women. I was not tall and slender, my height was no more than five feet six and my dresses had to be custom-made because my breasts did not fit into any corset, something that my future husband seemed to enjoy.

King Barou was immense, with pronounced features and black hair that fell straight and long almost to his shoulders. The way he sat was menacing: legs spread, back leaning on the wooden throne… the aura around him conveyed danger, while every word that came out of his mouth was equivalent to the roar of a lion. In my years as a noblewoman, being the daughter of the advisor to the king of France, I had never witnessed anything like this. What lay before me was not a king, but a beast.

The beast's eyes sharpened on Chigiri as soon as he caught our exchange of glances.

“Who is that?”

All eyes turned to Chigiri, my father cleared his throat softly and answered: “He is my daughter's mentor, he will stay by her side to teach her to speak your language, my lord.”

My heart seemed to skip a beat when I saw that Barou didn't take his eyes off him.

“I'm going to be the one who teaches her, I want him outside my kingdom.”

Chigiri did not give me a single look, I knew what was going on in his head, just one look could confirm Barou's suspicions. The man I am in love with did not speak to me again... not even when he left in the carriage with my father, not even knowing that we would never see each other again.

[ … ]

The days in my new home were a torment, only the court and my fiancé speak my language, but they are not very pleasant people to talk to. So the days are summarized in reading and rereading the ten books that I managed to bring with me. The rooms that correspond to me are immense and opulent considering how rustic this country is, it is clear that they tried to make it as similar as possible to France, a cute detail if they wouldn’t constantly ignore me.

My loneliness and smallness allowed me to sneak far to inspect the castle. I was like a weirdo in their eyes, I have the feeling that they see me as a rabbit, the ladies look at me with disdain, incredulous that a man of Barou's lineage would want to marry me... while the servants look at me with pity and try to guide me, even without speaking the same language.

“Fuck” I murmured, I had gotten lost between massive rock walls.

“What are you doing in my chambers area?”

My skin crawled hearing such a harsh voice speak such rough French. I turned around slowly, in front of me stood my fiancé, with whom I had not exchanged a word since they abandoned me here. His proud and unreadable countenance as always, serene could also be called.

“I got lost” The nerves gnawed at me in such a way that my voice came out with a repressed and insecure tone through my throat. Seeing his intense gaze I was forced to look away immediately, something that had never happened to me before with a man, not even Chigiri.

His eyes swept me from head to toe, when, suddenly, his immense figure cornered me against the stone. My heart pumped harder, I couldn't breathe, it was as if a lion was about to devour me... does he want to consummate our treaty? I wouldn't be surprised if these barbarians raped me when I am alone and vulnerable, who cares about me after all? My father and Chigiri clearly don't.

“My subjects don't treat you well?”

I looked up slowly, finding an expression other than arrogant, he seemed worried and upset, his body over mine like a protective barrier. It would be a lie to say that I wasn't stunned by this sudden statement on his part.

“I asked you a question”

I considered his words for a moment, if his consideration for me was so great... accusing them before this barbarian was not a bad option, but perhaps not the most astute.

“N-no, my lord.” I lied, the nervousness that this man caused me was of unimaginable proportions.

That penetrating gaze went down through my eyes to my neck and breasts, I watched his jaw tense and his pupils dilate, his chest and pulse seemed to run at a faster pace under the furs he was wearing. I smiled a little and, although I tried to hide it, it didn't take a second for his eyes to catch it.

“Do you dare to make fun of me?”

He uttered the words indignantly, but with an intensity that indicated that any misstep would result in her getting her pussy fucked... What the fuck am I thinking? He is a barbarian.

“Not at all… it's just that the king seems to have certain marked tastes.”

Where had that come from? I didn't even know it, but my soul seemed ecstatic to provoke this beast. Even he was surprised, his irises turned dark and he licked his lips.

“My tastes don't matter, I chose you because your curves are the most fertile I have ever seen.”

That sentence sparked a fire that spread through every leaf of my being, there was something primal about that sentence that burned away every iota of perceived masculinity in my life. I wanted to be in his bed, I needed him to fill me, my blood boiled as if it were witchcraft... What was this sudden infatuation that was corroding my insides?

⌈ Barou ⌋

I was not attracted to the women of my kingdom and that for a king is a big problem. Every week several Jarls arrived and offered their daughters as lovers or wives, but none of them sparked my interest, none seemed worthy of bearing my offspring.

It wasn't until a certain French king had a crisis and he proposed to me for the hand of one of his ladies in exchange for some riches. At the beginning, a deal that I accepted out of courtesy, I had no interest in dirtying Viking blood... until I saw her enter through the door and my eyes became ecstatic at such a sign from the Gods. My cock grew hard, the need to lay her on the floor and spill the first load inside her gnawing at me... but her expression of sadness and terror calmed my instincts.

“Are you sure you didn't choose me out of desire?”

It was amazing that her gorgeous features could show such a lascivious expression like the one she wore now. The little Frenchwoman was trying my patience, she provoked me as if days ago she had not cried in horror for marrying a barbarian. It was incredible, after being forced to watch the door to her chambers every night because I believed she would escape from it... I had her in front of me eager to be taken.

I grabbed her neck roughly, without hurting her or putting pressure on her, for a moment she seemed scared. Her contact with her third skin made it hard instantly, since she was in the castle she had not been flaccid. I moved closer to her throat and breathed in her heady European perfume.

"The only thing I thought was that your pussy would look gorgeous dripping with my cum..." I licked her chin during the pause.

I could feel her heart pumping uncontrollably and how her body was not able to stand on its own. As I stood up again, her eyes begged me to take her, so I decided it was time to claim my queen. I carried her over my shoulder without much effort, something that alarmed her a little, because she began to struggle and demand that I get off her, something that a spanking can't solve. When my hand hit her ass, she let out a cry of surprise mixed with a moan. I laughed at that reaction, to which she hit my shoulder, an act that caused me to laugh even harder.

When I got to my chambers I threw her on my bed, she looked at me with reddened cheeks and pupils flooded with lust. I let the furs that rested on my shoulders fall and easily removed the shirt that covered my torso, y/n bit her lip and she uncomfortably brought her thighs together when she saw me. I smiled proudly, took her left ankle and pulled it towards me.

I grabbed her neck again and devoured her full lips with need for her. She did not hesitate to follow as she seemed to share my blinded state. My hand forcefully lowered her neckline, I freed those puppies tortured by the devilish corset, I couldn't resist the urge to lick and bite them, the gasps I stole from her mouth were the hottest thing I had ever heard.

[ Reader ]

I was screwed, but I couldn't help but give in. What other option did I have but to enjoy the pleasures this beast offered? The desire for me consumed him, I wasn't going to be so stupid as to reject the wet dream of every woman living or dead.

His tongue soaked every corner of my exposed skin and, upon reaching my thigh area, he tore off my panties and licked fervently between my folds. No man had done that before, the barbarian was devouring me as my premonitions said... but in an intoxicating way. Saliva slid and dripped onto the sheets; even when my legs threatened to close, Barou sucked harder on my clitoris.

After I came in his mouth, he emerged from between my thighs with the look of a hungry lion cornering its prey. He licked his lips and swallowed any residual orgasm fluid as his baggy black leather pants fell to the frigid floor. My eyes focused on his thick member, precum glistened on his glans and veins revealed how massive he is. Even knowing that he would get me pregnant on the first try, I begged him to put it inside right now.

"You are aware that if I take you now I won't stop until your uterus overflows... are you sure you want to continue?" His words were abrupt, but I couldn't help but nod. “Let's continue then.”

He opened my thighs firmly and looked voraciously, while his thumb opened my wet folds.

“You're ready”

Suddenly, he turned me around like a feather, my cheek against the pillow and my hips raised. I could feel the heat of his body approaching mine from behind, his giant hands held my waist in place, the anxiety was something to savor at that moment. His glans made its way between my walls, the stretch turned my eyes to the sky, every inch I managed to take felt searing, but so satisfying.

A guttural moan echoed from every corner of the room as his pelvis collided for the first time against the skin of my ass. Stiff and throbbing I had engulfed him completely inside me, my pussy lubricated him so much I could feel the fluids sliding down my thighs, the bed would be a mess after we were done. The thrusts were gentle at first, as if the beast king was looking for my limits, scared of my size compared to him; still, each entry was precise, the most sensitive points were rubbed masterfully and the pitch of my gasps increased. But, although the consistency felt delicious, my patience has an end and I needed him to completely let go of that bestiality that he displayed so much.

“Fuck, harder, idiot.”

To deny that the utterance of those words was somewhat violent would be a lie, but this man's anger was not justifiable. In an instant my hair was pulled and my pussy was being brutally attacked, the moans turned into screams which, in turn, I couldn't hear because the pleasure overrode all my senses. I knew I wouldn't last long at this pace, I could feel his smirk as he saw me unstable and completely fucked.

I almost lost consciousness as the orgasm consumed my body, all I could think about was his cum spilling inside me. I felt so much peace, so much satisfaction, I was no longer interested in France, Chigiri or my family, I was happy being fucked in his bed.

⌈ Barou ⌋

Her recently fertilized pussy was tensing, in a poor attempt to spill my semen, to which I took her hips to put them in a position that my load was directly towards her cervix, with my fingers I collected the spilled semen and sank them slowly inside her warm folds freshly abused by my cock.

My queen looked at me somewhat dazed and confused by the deafening orgasm I had given her, to which I smiled proudly and satisfied.

“Until your belly grows, your pussy is going to be stuffed every night.”

#blue lock #bl smut #blue lock smut #barou shouei #nagi seishiro #chigiri hyoma #reo mikage #nagi seishiro smut #chigiri smut #bachira meguru #bachira smut

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