#Vice Principal Nero

[melonback]

My ASOUE pages from 2019 (crazy)

[unfortunatetheorist]

Where is Nero during the events of ATWQ? (NCT)

A Very Furtive Detail that super uber-fans (like yours truly) of the Netflix series would have picked up on is that Vice Principal Nero actually has a surname - Feint.

Where, you ask, is this in the show? Pause at exactly the right moment in Part 2 of The Austere Academy - where Nero compliments Sunny on her secretarial work ("She edited my résumé...") - and you'll find that the surname on his résumé is, in fact, Feint.

We know, as Snicketeers, that Feint is also the surname of Ellington, the character Lemony depicts as the 'femme fatale' of ATWQ...

...but how does this tie in? What links are we missing?

Let's try to plug the gaps; using what we know, we can try and piece [a version of] the story together.

What do we know already?

1. Lemony knows Ellington Feint, and her father, Armstrong.

2. Both Ellington and Armstrong Feint liked music.

3. Lemony also knows Nero's surname to be Feint, likely from the Baudelaires' entry in 'An Incomplete History'.

4. Nero is very proud of his family history ("a generous grant from our founder, Sir Barrymore Feint").

5. Nero is hyper-focused on his "career as a violinist", and regards very very little else as important.

Given the above to be true, my theory is as follows:

During the events of ATWQ, Ellington had a brother that she never spoke of around Lemony - Nero. Why? Likely because he was still a small child (≈ 5) when Lemony was in Stain'd-by-the-Sea and Ellington was going on missions with him and such. She didn't want any harm to come to him, so she figured out that she had to keep his existence secret. This meant Ellington had to (secretly) risk her brother's life to help Lemony with his various tasks in SBTS and this is where it all went to pieces:

Lemony murdered their father, Armstrong Feint, aka Hangfire.

I think it then played out like this:

1. Ellington realised that she'd have to tell her little brother that their father was dead. She knew that Nero would blame her and grow to hate her for this, so she lashed out at Lemony.

2. Ellington was then jailed for her crimes, leaving Nero alone at home, an orphan. Because Stain'd-by-the-Sea is such a deserted town, no-one came for Nero. He was home alone until Ellington returned from "serving her jail sentence" (escaping with Kit's skeleton key).

3. Whilst waiting for Ellington to come back, Nero was isolated and effectively drove himself mad, with his hatred for his sister combined with his grief over the loss of his father.

4. Over the period of Ellington's "jail sentence" (i.e. the time taken to hatch a plan to escape with the skeleton key), Nero stumbled upon the family history of music, before trying to console/distract himself with the power of music, trying to play the violin, trying to live up to his well-respected ancestors - but no-one has ever been around to correct his... many, many, many, many mistakes.

This explains why he hates any and all orphans, shoving them all in a tin shack, and why he can't play the violin to save his life.

Argument: ATWQ is a book series; how can you include it as part of a Netflix Canon Theory? Counterargument: ATWQ is featured in the series (TCC: "These files contain a report of the tragic events which occurred during my apprenticeship at Stain'd-by-the-Sea, which had to wait until now to be told, due to respect for surviving parties and copyright law").

Dark, even for the Snicketverse,

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

incorrect ASOUE

[ven10]

words for the work-in-progress guessing game: snap, break, or warm? :)

Thanks for the ask, Vivid!! :D this game is very fun :)

“Snap”:

~•~

‘Lemony steps inside, "What's the news, Moxie?"

Her eyes snap open and meet his; her irises dark and endless as if he were staring into a black hole. In a way, it's true. There's no chance of him getting out of the mess she's sucked him into.’

•~•

Break:

‘The upstairs hall is dark enough that Duncan has to squint to make anything out; the windows here have been boarded up which seems a little strange given thieves would be more likely to break in from the ground floor and yet those windows had been left free.’

[This is from a post-canon fic I’m writing but haven’t posted, it’s called ‘Nice house, haunted residents’] :)

•~•

Warm:

"And now give a warm welcome to the students of Prufrock Preparatory School!" Booms Mr. Shannon.

A couple of prefects hurry to open the double doors leading onto the stage.

Through them a filthy looking man with ruffles on his worn out shirt marches through, beaming and holding a violin in a way that makes Darcy, Tara and Charlie-the musicians of their group- wince.’

[From 1 of the asoue/heartstopper fics marinating with the rest of my unfinished drafts✨I got a solid 1k of this one written before forgetting about it until now at least✨✨] [incase ur curious, the other asoue/heartstopper fic involved Quigley stealing towels (to use as makeshift bandages)+food from Nick’s house but getting caught+subsequently unofficially adopted by Nick’s mum]

[fictional-musician-competition]

PRELIMINARY 1S

Yeah, this is how I've chosen to address the Nero situation. This does also make the Riordanverse the only franchise eligible to appear twice in the final bracket...but I couldn't resist.

[beatricebidelaire]

nero’s letter in the unauthorized autobiography mentioned ms. k. to be mr. remora’s replacement. considering how remora and bass showed up with nero in the penultimate peril

[scum-belina]

[femmeterypolka]

practicing bowed string instruments is so fucking embarrassing

[silkhy-john]

Afraid to say that this line made me giggle a little bit, maybe even guffaw

[unfortunatetheorist]

What pieces does Vice Principal Nero (fail to) play in TAA? (NCT)

4:00 - ?

10:47 - Csardas, by Vittoro Monti

14:28 - 'Spring' from The Four Seasons, by Antonio Vivaldi

17:05 - Hard to tell, but most likely (given the speed): Caprice No. 5, by Nicólo Paganini

TAA P2:

18:09 - ?

These are all of the timestamps I could find, if I've missed any, please do put them in the comments section, and I'll try and have a listen. Alternatively, if you find out what pieces are being screeched at the points where I've put '?', please let me know in the comments.

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

[snicketverse-fic-finder]

ASOUE characters: How popular are they on Ao3?✨📚😎😮🫢

No.of fics with each character in them

Baudelaires:

Beatrice: 417

Bertrand: 257

🔧Violet: 977 🏆

📚Klaus: 822

🍳 Sunny: 662

👶 Beatrice II: 192

Quagmires:

Mrs Quagmire: 34

Mr Quagmire: 28

🖋️Isadora: 369 🏆

🗞️ Duncan: 367

🗺️ Quigley: 332 (Surprising tbh, I thought he’d win out of the triplets at least)

Widdershins:

⚓️Captain Widdershins: 40

🍄 Fiona: 114

🪝 Fernald: 166 🏆

Olaf+his troupe:

🎭 Count Olaf: 722 🏆

🍸 Esmé Squalor: 379

Woman with hair but no beard: 30

Man with beard but no hair: 25

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143

Henchperson of indeterminate gender: 84

Bald man: 57

White-faced women: 56 (just mildly less popular than the bald man yet there’s TWO of them- that’s gotta blow 😔-)

🎪[The Freaks] 🎪

Kevin: 14 🏅

Hugo: 13

Collette: 12

Denouements:

Frank: 76

Ernest: 92

🦄: 102 🏆

Snickets: (Take this with a grain of salt bc they have a whole other series -ATWQ- going for them)

Jaques: 347

Kit: 410

Lemony: 536 🏆

Guardians+the likes:

🏦 Mr Poe: 104

🗞️ Eleanora Poe: 14

📰 Polly Poe: 1

🐑 Edgar Poe: 10

💰 Albert Poe: 6 (Why is Edgar more popular??)

🐍Uncle Monty: 114

🐍 Ink/The Incredibly Deadly Viper: 8

🪟 Aunt Josephine: 72

Ike Anwhistle: 26

[🚬 Sir: 30

Charles: 54

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143 🏅

😃 Phil: 10 ]

[🎻Vice Principal Nero: 37 (That’s less than the bald man who has maybe 3 lines total, take that!)

Mrs Bass: 4 (Damn.)

Ms. Tench: 2 (Double damn)

Mr Remora: 3

📚 Olivia Caliban: 237 🏅]

🍸 Jerome Squalor: 104

(✨Esmé Squalor: 379 but I put her in the Olaf’s troupe section. This is just for quick comparison to Jerome. Poor guy. Ish. I don’t actually feel that bad for him tbh.)

🦅 The Council of Elders: 4

🎈 Hector: 48

Hal: 8

Babs: 9

Phil: 10

[🍎 Ishmael: 17

🐟 Miranda Caliban: 8

🕶️ Friday Caliban: 26 🏅

🚢 Thursday: 5 ]

Miscellaneous VFD members:

😎 Jacquelyn Scieszka: 172 🏆

🎥 Gustav Sebald: 78

🐟 Larry Your-Waiter: 85

👑 Duchess R of Winnipeg: 61 or 64 (3 are under ‘Duchess R’

Uncategorised:

Ben: 4

🚲 The Paperboy: 3

💃 Carmelita Spats: 149

Top 3:

1~ Violet Baudelaire! 🔧💜 (977 fics on Ao3 are tagged ‘Violet Baudelaire’! 🎉)

2~Klaus Baudelaire!!📚💙(822 fics!)

3~ Count Olaf! 👁️ 😈 (722 fics!)

Loser:

Polly Poe (with a disappointing 1 fic!😱)

[fictional-musician-competition]

ROUND 1 POLL C