#Vegemite

[haveyoueatenthis]

[chairhahaha]

theres a flash at around 20 seconds, idk why its there but

i was actually supposed to finish this yesterday but i forgot i had maths hw

vegemite with chicken is FOUL but its f!es so it’s slightly tolerable

now can tumblr stop haunting me w my older version😭😭😭 thanks

@hectorthedoggo i think u wanted tags in enyu content so

[tales-from-drama-school]

Fictional characters based on whether I think they'd like vegemite or not

None of these characters have come anywhere near vegemite because they're not australian but I think whether or not you like vegemite says a lot about you so here we go

Aziraphale: he would not like it as a spread, it's a bit too strong for him, but he would LOVE vegemite scrolls (is this because he likes delicious cheesy pastry? yes. are vegemite scrolls delicious? also yes)

Crowley: Absolutely not. It's way too salty for him, and because he eats stuff very rarely, he would not choose to eat ThAT

Muriel: is still getting used to the idea of eating food and would straight up just refuse to try it

Maggie: Would try it. Would be polite and finish a sandwich made for it, but it's not something she would choose

Nina: Thinks it's fine but prefers Marmite (she's wrong but she's also british so it's fine)

Jon Sims: would love vegemite, he's that salty. He would also tell no one he loves vegemite and would stash a massive jar of it behind other 'normal' british foods in his cupboard.

Martin Blackwood: Would not like vegemite. He would try it at Jon's insistence and say, 'why on earth would you eat this?' and never eat it again

Gertrude: Likes vegemite but would only eat it when she's in australia. She is the most likely to have actually eaten vegemite out of anyone else on this post.

Gerry Keay: Would hate it. He'd take one bite of it and go 'bleARagh' and then go off and do Gerry Keay stuff

Tim Stoker: Is fairly neutral about vegemite. He would eat it if he was given a sandwich or a vegemite scroll but he would not actively choose to eat vegemite

Sasha James: Would not like vegemite. She tried it once while on a trip and despises it. Would not be at all surprised to learn that Jon likes vegemite

Not!Sasha: Loves vegemite so much it's disgusting.

Helen: Doesn't eat human food

Elias/Jonah: Elias's tastebuds do not like vegemite at all, but that doesn't matter because Jonah tried it once in a previous body and now eats it straight from the jar

Bruce: does not mind vegemite. He has had it a couple of times on various trips/various events and didn't like it but didn't dislike it either

Alfred: refuses to go anywhere near vegemite, as '[it] is an abomination.' Occasionally eats Marmite on toast.

Dick: also does not mind vegemite. Would not volunteer to eat it, but if forced to also wouldn't hate it

Jason: Hates vegemite. Too salty, tastes weird, why would anyone eat it. He only thinks this because he has only eaten it directly off the spoon

Cass: Would not like vegemite at all. Hasn't tried it, and will go out of her way not to try it, ever.

Tim: Likes vegemite. A good vegemite sandwich pairs well with black coffee. The salt and preservatives help keep his body functioning

Steph: Has eaten a vegemite sandwich once and was not impressed. Would probably like vegemite scrolls but doesn't know they exist.

Babs: If you presented her with a vegemite sandwich, she'd look at it and then look at you, and then you would leave.

Duke: Has never tried vegemite. Doesn't know what vegemite is. Probably won't unless one of his siblings decides to use it in a prank.

Damian: Likes vegemite insofar as it is associated with kangaroos and other australian creatures. Has never actually eaten it, and if he did he would hate it.

(there are a lot more batfam members and characters I could do here but the list is so long so I'm sticking to the faves)

Jude Duarte: Has not tried vegemite. Would love vegemite. (It's salty and therefore a very safe food in faerieland.) Someone get this queen some vegemite.

Cardan: Would not like vegemite at all, but understands why Jude does

Oak: Would despise vegemite. Too salty. Too...taste. As a kid he would throw it away, now he would politely but forcefully decline.

Heather: likes vegemite.

Vivi: Was introduced to vegemite through heather and now adores it.

Grima mog: tried it and loves it. Uses it everywhere. Like hot sauce.

Suren: hasn't heard of vegemite. If you showed it to her, she would be displeased. If she ate it, she would banish you from her court.

Taryn: only eats vegemite scrolls, has never tried the actual spread

I will add more by request

[one-time-i-dreamt]

The slurs kept turning into Vegemite.

[andy-wm]

Oh man ...RIP Kid Laroi hahaha. You have no idea what you've started.

You cant prank JK and not expect him to come back at you with the full force of the Korean chili industry. He's so competitive and he's spent the last 10 years being a victim of the evil forfeits of the RunBTS producers.

Also this wholesome, harmless fun is too damn cute. Well, it's harmless now but it won't be when JK brings out the Buldak!

Actually my favourite part of this whole thing is Kid Laroi's face. He's is too cute.

https://twitter.com/thekidlaroi/status/1716514530879242744/mediaViewer?currentTweet=1716514530879242744&currentTweetUser=thekidlaroi

[hier--soir]

JESS WHATS THE RIGHT WAY TO EAT VEGEMITE?!?😭

okay here we go

#1 fav way is on toast with a thick layer of vegemite and then avocado smashed on top of it. gorgeous. creamy, salty, stunning, never been done before, delicioso, chef’s kiss. you will never be able to afford a home because you’re buying avocados but at least you’ll be dining like a king.

#2 fav way is on a cruskit. lather that sucker in a layer of butter and then slam some vegemite on that bad boy. if you don’t want a lot of vegemite and are feeling like a chef use your knife to spread a small amount of vegemite and a good amount of butter on your cruskit until it’s all homogenous and looks like shit (literally, shit coloured) trust it’s delicious.

don’t tell me next that not everyone knows what a cruskit is

[dr-robert-chase-s-hair]

i might go into town after school tomorrow, and buy a can of Vegemite from Tesco. kinda curious of the taste

[aceoffangirls]

When you realise the foundations of Australian Food is just cheap white bread

[grace-williams-xo]

Why not

Assigning Bridgerton’s to a level on the Vegemite scale

[For the purposes of this exercise; they are for all intents and purposes Australian, and mentions of marmite will get you blocked. I’m KIDDING. Am I though… marmite sucks]. Also, they all use butter you fucking heathens.

Violet: 2; she just wants a little extra flavour, but she isn’t a complete weakling. Won’t eat it in any context except on toast.

Anthony: 6; he just wants to feel something. Complains cheesymite scrolls don’t have enough Vegemite.

Kate: 3; but rarely eats it with without cheese.

Benedict: 3–4; but with cheesybite. Ya know, that fever dream where they briefly called it iSnack 2.0? Frankly, ahead of its time with that name. Benedict is its number one fan.

Sophie: 0; she doesn’t eat Vegemite. [This was a real deliberation bc Yerin Ha is the only actual Australian but also most of the people I know who don’t eat Vegemite are Asian (not Wasain)]. She thinks Vegemite is the absence of culture, but straight up calls Benedict’s cheesybite an affront to humanity—and she’s doing her part to stop him because she’s certain he’s the only one left buying it atp.

Colin: 4–5; but more than that, he’s the guy putting Vegemite on everything. Steak. With avocado. There’s a recipe on the Baker’s Delight website using broken cheesymite scrolls to crumb chicken, he’s making that too. If Vegemite isn’t one of the first few foods his kids try, he considers himself to have failed as a parent. The Cadbury Vegemite block was Colin’s idea.

Penelope: previously 2, now 3–4; Colin has increased her tolerance but if he tries to sneak it into one more dinner meal she’s filing for divorce.

Daphne: 6; life is a competition and she’ll be damned if she can’t beat Anthony.

Simon: 3/6; if he’s making it for himself or the kids it’s about a 3 (though Daphne always tells him he’s doing it wrong and promptly takes over) (“they’re toddlers Daphne, you shouldn’t give them that much salt” “generations are built on the back of this stuff, Anthony and I have this much and we turned out fine” “did you” “did we what” “nothing dear”) but for himself Simon usually gets all of his Vegemite fix from just taking a bite of a corner of Daphne’s level 6

Eloise: 2–3; but with promite. She insists she likes it but no one really knows if she actually likes it, or is doing it to spite her family who all can’t stand it or the smell.

Francesca: 1; but she doesn’t have a lot because she’s always having it on a dark extra grainy bread that she claims doesn’t need much more flavour.

Gregory: 4; he has a Vegemite and cheese toastie every single day. Also, he was the one who submitted the name iSnack 2.0.

Hyacinth: 7; there is no toast, only Vegemite. There is no Hyacinth, only Vegemite. Violet is very concerned for her health. Anthony is too, but Violet says it’s his fault and influence.

[centos-official-archive]

Dear Red Hat

Give me back my fucking skin I want it now you cunt, otherwise I'll turn your dick into Vegemite.

[blubushie]

im gonna be real with you i do NOT know what vegemite is what is that

On a literal level, it's yeast extract.

Remember how I said Aussies love beer? In order to make beer you need yeast. It's a whole bloody process, but the gist is that when you're done brewing the beer, you get a bunch of leftover yeast. This is normally completely useless, but in 1902 a German bloke named Justus von Liebig came up with the bright idea of "Wait, instead of wasting the yeast, why don't we just eat it?"

"That's a stupid idea because it tastes terrible and no one would eat it," everyone said, but von Liebig wouldn't be deterred! So he slapped some spices in there for flavouring and bam, edible yet still disgusting yeast extract.

The poms liked this idea and as poms are wont to do, they stole it. Branded it Marmite, and shipped it out to Commonwealth countries around the world.

That worked out all fine and dandy until WWI hit and the poms suddenly found themselves in desperate need to conserve this wonderful (ech) source of Vitamin B. They saved it for the troops only. Most of the breweries were shut down in the war and converted into munitions productions and depots, so for a time Marmite was merely a ghost of the past for civilians.

Until the Aussies came along.

"Oi!" some bloke said to some other bloke, "It's been a year since the war ended. Where's our fuckin' Marmite?" But alas, his longing went unanswered.

So he said fuck all that noise and decided "Well, fuck the poms, we'll make the shit ourselves!"

So they did. Fred Walker, (a M*lburnian, ech) decided to hire a bloke called Cyril Callister to figure out how the fuck the poms made Marmite, and instead make something even better.

And, as Aussies love our beer, he turned to Calton & United Brewery, who happens to be the brewery WHAT MAKES VICTORIA BITTER. (It's a conspiracy, do you understand?) They also make Foster's, but we don't discuss fucking FOSTER'S on this blog.

So he took yeast extract, mixed it with TOO MUCH FUCKING SALT, added some celery and onion extract, and bam: breakfast tar! Then he gave his daughter--WHO WAS NAMED SHEILAH--the job of naming the new, better Marmite. And she went "Well, there's veggies in there, innit?" And he just nodded. "Call it vegemite."

AND SO VEGEMITE WAS BORN.

It hit the market in 1923, immediately failed, and in 1928 went under a rebrand of "Parwill" ("Because if Marmite [ma might] then Parwill [pa will]) and this didn't last long--it was changed back to Vegemite in 1935.

In 1925 Fred Walker helped found Kraft, an American company (Kraft cheese, anyone?) So Walker used Kraft's newfound success to promote Vegemite. This... actually worked, surprisingly. In 1939 the British Medical Association officially backed Vegemite as a great source of Vitamin B, and when WWII hit, it was included in civilian rations across the country. By the late 1940s, Vegemite was found in 9/10 Australian homes.

And it stuck. Its billionth jar was sold in 2008, and in 1984 it was the first-ever product to be electronically scanned in an Australian checkout.

We're all happy little Vegemites!

[a-photo-of-a-cryptid]

Trying to eat Vegemite like nutella is something I see Americans doing

It is meant to suck!!!! Vegemite is supposed to taste like salt and pain!!!

Before you try Vegemite, please ask yourself how much salt and pain do I need with this bread (DO NOT have it without bread, THE SALT AND PAIN WILL OVERWHELM YOU AND YOU WILL CRY)

[0venatrix]

Vegemite alignment chart. Feel free to disagree.

[hier--soir]

vegemite tastes like straight up badonky😭🙏 #downunder

NAUUURRRR

you haven’t tried it the right way then😭

[solaeclipse75]

“I can fix her” but the only problem with her is that she doesn’t like Vegemite