#Unfortunately I'd have to like... run a class on how I research
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How do you pin down what flora and fauna would be around a specific area? I am having trouble researching myself for a group settled in a particular area, cannot imagine how hard it was to pick out where exactly canon wc could be settled and then looking into what animals and plants would show up
For the BFRW, I actually started in Southern England, specificially New Forest in Hampshire... until the mismatched climate drove me further and further up North
The Erins dropped the Tribe mountain on us like the Wicked Witch of the East, man. You can't fit that thing in HAMPSHIRE, they'd faint if they saw a big hill let alone a mountain
USA states are a lot easier to research than English counties though, imo. They're usually not only broken down by individual state, but then interesting biomes within them are often covered by specific agencies. My state, for example, covers both the inner state forests AND the coastal salt marshes, plus the sea plains, shoreline beaches, mountains, etc.
And they're chock-full of lists and info if you know how to dig around.
When I had a plant, I would then double check to see if it was found in the general area. I base my "valid" flora and fauna on what can be found in Clwyd, Chester, Manchester, Lancashire, and Merseyside. Occasionally I'll take a reference from southern Cumbria or northern Staffordshire.
Woodland Trust has been INVALUABLE with ThunderClan. They have sooo many good resources it's bananas.
Delamere Forest is also a spot I use as a model; it's going to come up a lot for ShadowClan. I'm taking the ongoing development of a Quaking Bog as the direct information on what ShadowClan territory is going to look like at the Lake, once they get their paws on it.
(ShadowClan: "ew god there's sooo many spruces, Ratscar go start gathering mud and sticks I can't deal with this")
#I hope that helps lmao#Unfortunately I'd have to like... run a class on how I research#It is a skill of mine#Bone babble
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angel of the morning
a/n: about a month ago i got an idea for a threesome fic and well it has lived in the back of my head since then. and normally i wouldn't write smut with wade, but this one actually made me feral. thankfully the promptober list this year gave me the perfect opportunity to bring it to life. so i give you a filthy and fun fic brought to you not from the execs at disney, cause let's be honest this would kill them on sight.
logan promptober: day nine - deadpool
summary: wade has a proposition to offer: he will sit quietly (a complete lie) as logan shows him how fucking you properly is done. only it's not up to logan...it's up to you. his sweet angel of the morning.
word count: 3.4k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader x wade wilson
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MDNI 18+ ONLY!!, threesome activities, voyeurism, bondage, wade wilson breaks the fourth wall, oral (m receiving), gags, coming untouched, p in v sex, fingering, cumplay, squirting, logan is rough with the pussy, gratuitous descriptions of filthy acts, biting, unedited + unbetad.
RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME SERIES MASTERLIST
"Think of it as a learning opportunity peanut." A glass shattered on impact - ricocheting off the wall and lodged into Wade's chest. Neither the pain nor the blood could get him to stop talking though. "Possibly a way to work out those Hulk-like anger issues."
"No," Logan snapped, itching to rip the voice box out of Wade's throat. Maybe then he'd get an hour tops of silence as the fucker healed.
"You won't even ask her?" he whined. Truly the entire thing reeked of desperation. Wade knew how pathetic he looked right at this moment; whether he cared was an entirely different story.
"Shut the fuck–"
"Ask me what?"
They looked like two deer caught in headlights mere seconds before death. Wade's lips curled into a smile bright enough to rival the sunlight that poured in through the open window. Logan however looked as if he witnessed a ghost climbing out of the shitty painted walls to your right. You stopped inches away from the shards of glass that lined the floor—your eyebrows raised in disbelief at the sight.
How they both wound up in your apartment still remained a mystery to you. Logan went home before you even fell asleep, promising to return with your usual Sunday breakfast from Rosemary's. You came to the conclusion—given the food on the table—that Wade must have followed him. Intent on being a third wheel. Again.
"N-Nothing," Logan replied, his cheeks flushing a deep crimson.
You grinned, eyes trailing down to his jeans that sat snug on his hips. "Are you sure?"
"Sweet angel of the morning can I proposition you for a moment? Don't worry I'm not selling you a car. Although I could." Wade poured coffee into your new favorite mug—a tiny painting of Wolverine sat neatly on the front. "This is more of a learning experience."
"Learning what exactly?" You took the mug with a smile, entirely aware of Logan's eyes tracking your every step.
He thought you were going to run; you leaned into his side to prove you would stay. Whatever question Wade was intent on asking, it clearly touched a nerve. One you had to fix before another mishap occurred in your relationship. Logan wasn't the greatest at communication, but you could make up for his lack of talking in a language he understood well enough. Physical touch.
"Have you ever studied the art—nay the science—of a threesome?"
You choked on your coffee.
Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be enough of a warning for Wade to stop speaking. "There's classes dedicated to its research. I'd be a teacher, but have you met your boy toy over there? He's been alive for two hundred years. There's no way he's not danced the twisters tango."
"Twisters...tango?" Logan's hand patted your upper back as you forced the words out through a choked rasp.
"Twice the fun, three times the knot." He smiled, stepping so face you barely had a chance to stand upright before he was looking down, his finger tipping your chin gently. "Something tells me you'd be an expert."
"Get the fuck off her," Logan snapped, silver flashing in your peripheral.
You gripped his wrist in an attempt to stop the bloodshed from going even further. Cleaning broken glass from your floor was one thing. Scrubbing Wade's blood out of the carpet near your couch was another thing entirely.
The air around you grew tense as Logan's hand fell to your hip in a silent claim you felt curl at the base of your spine. Wade's smile never wavered, even as you felt your mouth dry. The offer circled in your head with a quickness that left you dizzy and gasping for breath. A threesome wasn't the most outlandish of propositions—hell your ex boyfriend had even asked at one point in your relationship.
But a threesome with both of them. Men who never faltered, never grew tired. Keeping up with Logan took the majority of your energy some nights—his insatiable need to have you became an overwhelming trait you grew to crave. Yet the thought of Wade joining in on that. The blood rushed to your head at the very concept, your heart ramming against your chest with each breath.
Logan tensed which gave you the answer you were looking for.
He wasn't worried about his own feelings. He merely wanted you to feel safe. There would never be another day you were put in harm's way because of something he caused. This was simply another one of those moments; a time where the choice remained entirely up to you.
"Drop it mouth–"
"How exactly would it happen?"
They froze, mouths gaping and eyes fixed on your inquiring face. What must have started out as a joke - something for Wade to relentlessly tease Logan over—became something else entirely. Before you could laugh it off, push past whatever awkwardness lingered in the air. Wade's smile returned—eyes alight in a type of joy you'd only seen come from him watching The Great British Bake Off.
Or cocaine.
"So glad you asked angel."
"God this feels like a teacher student porno. Except instead of me getting bent over a desk for being a bad boy I get to watch the teachers fuck." Wade practically leapt out of his skin as Logan tied the knot around his wrists. Pulling until a ring of white formed around the skin. He'd lose feeling in his hands, but something told you that remained part of the appeal. "Do I get to ask questions? In case there's a test?"
You smiled, sitting on the chair stuffed in the corner of your room. "I don't think the professor would like that, Wade."
A soft snarl emanated from Logan's chest, his hands chest heaving with each shift as he did his best not to look at you directly. The bulge on his jeans remained evident enough of what he thought of this. How he had to resist tearing through your clothes to get to what lay beneath.
Logan and self control never went hand in hand. Yet he held on by the skin of his teeth in order to help you settle into a familiar state of comfort. You silently thanked him for that - your nerves jumping with every second that passed.
"You're not gonna fuckin' talk," Logan replied gruffly, pulling out a spare leather belt he kept in your drawer for when he stayed over. "You wanted a learnin' experience. So that's what this is."
"But how am I supposed to learn if I can't–"
The belt went into his mouth harshly, yanking his head back as Logan pulled it closed with surprising speed. You began to wonder if he had done this before. Gagged someone with the efficiency of a pro who partook in sexual activities far more adventurous than what you'd been giving him. Maybe that's what this was all about. Dipping your toe in the waters to see if this experience was meant for you.
His thumb smoothing your furrowed brows pulled you from your thoughts. "You can say no honey. Don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"Logan–"
He shook his head, dropping to his knees before you. "If you say no I'll heat up the breakfast and Wade can put on a movie. Yeah?"
"And if I say yes?" you breathed.
"Then we take it as slow as you want."
The answer lay on the tip of your tongue, begging to be put out into the world. So you pulled him in for a kiss. Your fingers dug into his hair as you licked behind his teeth with a soft moan - the ache from last night building once more in the crevices and curves of your body. Wade echoed your sounds with a few of his own, body writhing to get closer to the edge of the bed. Logan however consumed you entirely.
He rose to his feet, hand cupping your chin to keep you in place. Spit trailed down your chin and for a moment you felt the urge to wipe it away. To clean your body in case that's not what he desired at this time. He cut you off with a growl, licking at the wet smear of spit before letting it fall back on your tongue. His thumb dragging the rest down the length of your throat.
"I want you fuckin' messy honey," he muttered. "Gotta show off my pretty little thing."
A gasp pierced the air, your body jolting at the command. This was familiar to you. Logan leading the dance as you trailed along with the hopes he'd see how good you could be. How much you longed to please him. Somehow the aspect of your relationship flipped when it came to sex. He was no longer tentative or worried there was a chance you might find him repulsive.
When it came to this Logan understood your love for him held no ands, ifs, or buts.
You'd never let him touch you if you didn't love him—that remained clear in his mind. It allowed him the chance to breathe.
"How about we give him a better view."
Whimpering out your unintelligible response, you let him move you with ease. He took the chair, spreading his legs wide for you to prop yourself on his thighs. Tugging at the t-shirt you slept in with a soft grunt he pulled it up and over your head—the softness of your skin on full display. He could practically feel you dripping onto your inner thighs, coating your body in that familiar tangy sweetness.
The thought made him dizzy—his fingers digging sharply into your hips. A stunted groan echoed from the bed, Wade's eyes flicking madly from your breasts to the shiny slick that covered your pussy. His cock strained against his gray sweatpants, a stain leaking into the fabric and turning it a shade darker. If his hands weren't tied Logan had no doubt he'd be fisting his cock to the sight of you naked and wanting.
And what a fucking sight that would be. Seeing this mouthy asshole finally grow quiet just from a mere glimpse at your body.
"What do you think honey? Should we free him?" Logan pointedly looked at Wade's groin—his chin hooking onto your shoulder as his hands slid along your thighs.
You whined, your ass pushing back into his hard cock. "He looks like he needs it, baby."
"Be a good girl and pull it out. Wanna see how wet he is."
"Okay."
Sliding off him, you dropped to your hands and knees, crawling the short distance towards Wade who looked ready to cum right then and there. He sucked in a broken gasp, his hips bucking up into nothing when your hands gripped the edge of his sweats. Your lips dragging along his clothed shoulder—fingers tugging down the waistband until it hung around his knees.
"Oh," you sighed, eyes fixed on the ruddy length of his red and purple cock. It practically dripped like a fucking faucet—spilling onto what sparse hair stuck to the base.
Blistering heat filled your body at the sight of his cock throbbing in your face, the length of it sticky and shiny. Wade never mentioned how much he wanted you. Or perhaps it was the fact that both you and Logan were giving him the show of a lifetime. Indulging him in a fantasy that felt like his imagination came to life.
"Give it a lick," Logan said. "Tell me how he tastes."
Hesitation was nowhere to be found in your body; the thrill of being told what to do shot through your stomach. Wade's eyes rolled back into his head when your mouth closed around the tip, suckling him in between hollowed cheeks—your tongue sliding through the slit.
A choked moan broke free around the belt, spit flying down his throat. You met his noise with one of your own, slick smearing across your thighs, your pussy fluttering at the salty tang of him spread across your tongue.
"That's enough."
You sat back on your heels—eyes meeting Wade's bleary gaze. The both of you were torn to shreds from the inside out. Pieces dispersed in a mess on the floor. Only for Logan to gather what remained—intent on putting you back together.
"C'mere honey," he huffed, gathering you back in his arms.
Logan's touch was relentless. Quick strokes along your bare thighs as you settled in his lap—teeth nipping along the line of your shoulder until pain bloomed beneath the pleasure. Each press of his hands made you melt into his chest, back pressing to his bare chest. The warmth of his arms became something you latched onto.
A constant source of comfort, of a promise to never let you sink below the waters.
You spread your legs over his thighs slowly in a show of revealing your pussy to the man across from you—his eyes practically glued to your pulsing hole. How it fluttered each time Logan sunk his teeth in. How you could feel it leak enough slick to drink down. You wanted to guide his face closer, see if he would like a taste, but Logan had other ideas.
The echo of his belt undoing seared a hole in your chest. Your body vibrated with anticipation—heart hammering a quick timed beat that left you breathless. He pushed you up, the slide of his cock pushing through your glistening lips drew a soft moan to the surface. Your fingers were a tight grip on the sides of the chair, and for a moment you felt a numbing sensation trickle into the palms of your hands.
"She's needy for it huh," Logan boasted, tapping the head against your clit to watch you jump. "So ready to be fucked."
You whined, loud enough to echo off the walls. "P-Please."
"So polite." His hand gripped your hips and in a swift thrust he pushed past your entrance, filling you until your mouth dropped in a pitiful moan. "And fuckin' tight. Don't tell me you like being watched."
A gasp tore from your throat, hips pushing back to take him right down to the base. The burning stretch only helped to drive you even higher. Wade's moans were a muffled chorus in the background, an audience member enjoying his free show. And for a brief moment you opened your eyes to find his gaze.
Tears streamed down his cheeks—agony glistening in his blown out pupils. But it was his cock that grabbed your attention. Purple and strained and aching for someone to touch him. Saliva filled your mouth, a high moan slipping past your parted lips.
"I knew it," Logan grunted, grinding up into you. "My dirty girl. Look at him. He's begging for it."
"L-Logan."
"Give your old man a kiss." He gripped your chin roughly, dragging your lips to his as his tongue invaded your mouth. Sucking the taste of Wade off your tongue with a hoarse moan.
He let you set your own pace, settling back into the chair to give you space and keep you steady. With stunted movements you lifted yourself off his cock and sat back down. A sharp cry bouncing off the walls, each thrust forcing the head of his cock right up against your walls. The slap of skin mixed with Wade's sounds—the wet squelch of your pussy sucking Logan back in echoed filthily in the room.
A sinful euphony of sex that had your toes curling and chest heaving.
Wade's eyes flicked between where the two of you were connected and the bounce of your breasts. The harsh thrusts began to force his cock to jolt—precum pouring into his lap and staining the sheets below. He'd never get tired of this sight. You entirely lost in chasing your pleasure as Logan watched proudly below.
"I-It's hard," you gasped, thighs trembling with each shift.
Logan tutted under his breath. "I know honey. Let me finish for you."
You weren't prepared for the ruthless pace he set. His hands became a vice-like grip on your hips with each pound of his cock into you, the sounds you made nowhere near anything you'd heard before. He fucked you without mercy. Every thrust punctuated with a biting growl—his cock slamming repeatedly into that perfect spot along your walls.
Nails ripped at the chair's arms, your body a shaking mess in his hold, and you could barely see straight in front of you. Wrenching your eyes open, you focused on Wade—your mouth forming a permanent shriek of Logan's name that closer you got to shattering. You watched him struggle to free his hands. His body trembling on the edge of the bed.
"Bet he can't fuck you like this," Logan spit, his teeth bared in a snarl. "Watch and fuckin' learn mouth."
"Logan!" you sobbed, the hot swell of tears spilling rapidly down your cheeks. "I'm gonna. Oh f-fuck–"
"Yeah you are." He yanked you back, his teeth setting into the skin of your shoulder, forming another ringed mark that would serve as a reminder to who you belonged to. A mark of his claim imprinted in your flesh.
The swift slap to your clit wrenched a choked sob from your throat, your eyes rolling back with the second hit. You held onto the edge by the skin of your teeth, your hands moving to grip his wrist. Breath became obsolete with each move and with a harsh third slap you broke with a garbled moan of his name. A wet gush splattered against your thigh, your body shaking viscerally in his tight hold as he came with a broken whine.
The harsh thrusts forced another wave of searing bliss through your body, a second stream of cum spilling onto the hardwood floors. Your eyes were blurred with tears, mouth sucking in sharp gasps, but Wade's pain muffled cry drew your attention back to the present moment.
His hips bucked up into nothing, eyes rolled back and spit drooling down his shirt. The veins of his neck were strained with each shift of his body—for a moment you worried he would choke. Until he came with a muddled shout, cum shooting up to his torso and splashing beneath his chin. The mere sight of it had you clenching down around Logan - your mouth parted in complete awe.
"Shit," Logan gasped, eyes wide and cheeks flushed crimson.
"C-Can I?"
He tapped your thigh. "Go on honey."
On shaky legs you practically fell to the floor and dragged yourself towards Wade. Your mouth immediately swallowing his cock with a hazy sigh—tongue licking up the heady taste of his cum. It slid down your throat, warmed the insides of your body. And Wade looked down at you with eyes full of adoration. A sight you'd never seen him wear in your presence.
Logan shuffled to his feet, quickly moving to undo the restraints. Only for Wade's hands to press against your head—shoving his softened cock down your throat with a soft fuck.
"You guys would make a fucking fortune on Only Fans," he grunted, another spurt of warmth spilling into your mouth.
Logan growled. "Count yourself lucky mouth. She may not want this again."
You grinned, pulling off to press a messy kiss to the still leaking tip. "This was fun." Your voice was hoarse, body covered in a sheen of sweat, yet they regarded you with an emotion you felt weigh heavy at the base of your chest.
A feeling you never believed might occur in your life.
"Logan?" The warmth of his hand spread down to your chest when he cupped your face, swiping at the mess on your lips. "How about that breakfast?"
"Anythin' for you honey," he vowed.
"You guys ever seen the movie Oklahoma?" Wade butted in, his forehead knocking gently against yours before Logan pulled you to your feet.
You laughed, dizzy from the high that still coursed through your veins. A flannel was draped over your shoulders, fingers working to button them up before he got frustrated.
"Might inspire a second round of teacher, teacher, student."
A breathy giggle was muffled against Logan's lips in a swift kiss. "Isn't that musical?"
"It's not just a musical sweet angel. It's a lifestyle. Literally for some people who live in well...Oklahoma."
Logan groaned, dragging you behind him in an attempt to stop the conversation short. You merely called over your shoulder in response. Wade stumbled after you buck naked—his shirt and sweats discarded on the floor in favor of giving the world a view yet to be forgotten. You eyed his chest with a smile, even as Logan palmed your ass to bring you closer.
"Play it." You grinned, hand sliding down to cup Logan through his jeans. "We'll see what happens."
"For fucks sake."
note: i don't even know if this is good. but i hope y'all enjoyed it. drink some water!
#logan howlett x f!reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader x wade wilson#wolverine x reader x deadpool#wade wilson x f!reader#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson x you#wade wilson x y/n#wade wilson smut#logan howlett#wade wilson#my writing
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how do i know what’s right?
i feel like i have zero critical thinking skills ;-;
a lot of the time when someone poses an idea or a theory they think they’re right, and so they use language that enforces that. but then someone refutes it, and uses language affirming what they believe and i see the point in their argument. and then it gets refuted again and again and again and im just confused.
hi great question. i would love it if there were a single easy litmus test to figure out who's 'right' and whose info i should trust! unfortunately things are rarely this easy, and it's actually completely normal to be overwhelmed by the amount of information being produced and shared, especially when it comes to topics you haven't researched/lived/etc. for most of us, this will be most topics!
i'd preface this by saying that i think your overall attitude here is actually a good one. you're framing it in a pretty self-deprecating way—but actually, imo this type of openness to discussion and disagreement is a really good place to start, esp when dealing with topics that are new to you. nobody enters a contentious debate with a fully fledged, defensible viewpoint. you might feel like you're just treading water here, making no progress toward being able to evaluate arguments for yourself, but i highly doubt that's true.
all of that said: while i again cannot give you a single litmus test for figuring out what's 'right', there are four pretty basic sets of questions that i automatically run through when encountering a new idea, source, topic, or argument: we can call these origin, purpose, value, and limitations.
origin: who's the author? do they have any institutional affiliations? who pays their salary? is this argument or paper funded in any way? is the argument dependent upon the author's social position or status (race, class, etc) and if so, are those factors being discussed clearly? does the author have ties to a particular nation-state or stakes in defending such a nation-state? what's the class character of the author and the argument? what's the social, economic, and intellectual context that gave rise to this argument or source?
purpose: why is this source or person disseminating this information or making this argument? are they trying to sell you anything? are their funders? are they trying to persuade you of a particular political viewpoint? keeping in mind the answers to the 'origin' questions, are there particular ideological positions you would expect to find in this source or argument, and are they present? what are the stakes for the author or source? what about for those who cite the source or further disseminate or publish it?
value: what does this source or argument accomplish well? what aspects of the argument are new to you and strike you as insightful? are there linkages being made that you haven't encountered elsewhere, and that you think are effectively and sufficiently defended? are there statistics or empirical data that might be useful to you in forming your own argument, even if you disagree with how this source or author is interpreting them? what does this argument or source tell you about the types of debates being had, and the rules of those debates?
limitations: where does this argument or source fail you or fall apart? are there obvious rhetorical fallacies you can identify? is the author forgetting or overlooking some piece of information that you know of from elsewhere? which viewpoints may be omitted? keeping in mind the answers to the 'purpose' questions, if this source is defending a particular ideology or political position, is that one you agree with? is it only defensible so long as the author omits or distorts certain pieces of information? are there points where the argument jumps from evidence to a conclusion that the evidence can't fully support? are there alternative explanations for the evidence?
over time you will often find that it becomes more and more automatic to ask yourself these questions. you will also find that the more you read/hear about a particular topic, the faster you can determine whether someone is presenting all of the evidence, presenting it fairly, and using it to fully defend the argument they ultimately want to make. and you will probably also find that at some point, you're able to synthesise your own argument by pulling the strong parts from multiple other people's viewpoints, combining them with your own thinking, and fitting them together in a way that adequately explains and materially analyses the issue at hand.
#sry if this feels kind of abstract lol fight between specificity and applicability#lit and literacy
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Delta anon here again and I have a LOT of ideas based on the headcanon that the Epic Sanses would go visit haunted places.
- Delta has a list of things that he needs to do before and during the trips. He has rules made for himself based on past experiences they don't want to repeat, such as not unveiling any covered mirrors and not to mess with the demonic aspects of it. He does not force his friends to go along with his rules and rituals but it is VERY much encouraged.
- If the group hears or reports certain noises, they leave. Immediately. This can go from sirens (if they break in to investigate) to physical screams from the ghosts/creatures haunting the place.
- When they split up to explore, they all have walkie-talkies they take with along with extra batteries if the ghosts sap all the energy out.
- Beta and Color's chat can speak and interact with the other ghosts of the haunting. Unfortunately not all of the other ghosts are nice.
- Speaking of that, if the ghosts are cruel or violent, they will first attack Beta and Color's Chat because they're 'different' ghosts. If attacked, Delta and Color will quickly protect them (and the Souls will protect each other obv).
- They do NOT fuck with demons or demonic activity. Since the majority of them can see the apparitions, I'd imagine that they'd also be able to tell if it's a regular ghost or if it's a demonic entity. If one shows up and it's clear it's a demon, they leave and cleanse themselves properly.
- But on the topic of that. Delta got possessed once by a malevolent spirit. Color and Epic freaked out trying to get him back (he got violent and then went full-on crazy). Meanwhile in Delta's head it was a combination of Sans trying to regain control and Beta trying to chase the demon off. It worked, but Delta had to go to the hospital because they almost hurt themselves and others.
- Going off the idea that they never thought to verify with Epic about being able to talk to the other(s) in your Soul(s), sometimes Delta and Color will just start speaking directly with the ghosts that are there aside from their own. Sometimes they will see or call put to one before the equipment they use can recognize it. Eventually Epic would just ask what they're on about and they'd get confused, because can't you see it? And he'd have to say no, I have no clue what you're talking about. (I would pay good money to see how that conversation would go down between them lmao.)
- Delta actually has a lot of knowledge with this kind of stuff. He does his research whenever they go to a new spot. They know the different classes and names of anything they could possibly encounter, including the folklore and entities such as fey or skinwalkers.
- Mannequins inside a haunted building are never a good sign. They had one bad encounter and Never Again. Delta/Beta will straight up leave if they encounter one, reguardless of if there's an attachment to it or not. Color dislikes the idea of them being in anywhere haunted, but as long as he doesn't see a connection to a ghost with it, he'll be okay - just on edge. Epic would make jokes and probably try to bring the mannequin around like a prop. He would 100% try to scare his friends with it and most likely already has.
- They are all somewhat on edge during the explorations due to not knowing what they'll encounter. Epic does his best to keep the mood light, but even he gets freaked out sometimes.
- Delta makes absolute SURE that they don't go into the portals between the current world and the ghost world. Color can see the portals better than he can (due to having more Souls), but Delta has a proper fear of them.
- If something ever scares them during the exploration, they will agree to run. Anything they leave behind belongs to the house (or wherever they were exploring) now.
- However, if Epic decides to play around and scare them, he knows his limits. Don't scare Delta with mannequins (Delta will immediately destroy the mannequin and then RUN), and don't scare Color by straying from the group and going quiet (Color will have a panic attack because he has no idea where Epic is). Unfortunately, Epic learned these things the hard way.
- If they bring Zorox with, that poor puppy will be so busy. Both in keeping Delta/Beta ok and forcing them to take breaks when they need to, and in seeing tons of new people/ghosts. He'd also probably have to help Color or Epic, too.
- Killer is not allowed to come. They (Color) invited him ONCE and never again. He decided to 'prank' Delta during the investigation (because why wouldn't he) and used the mannequins against him by pretending that the mannequin got possessed and was coming for him. It scared the absolute shit out of him. Killer was never invited back again and Delta personally made sure of that. He was also allowed to punch Killer for this, much to his joy. He was unable to sleep for weeks after that one.
- All of their neurodivergence can play with them. They're all hyper-aware of every new noise or thing they see and make sure to take notes. If one of them starts to get overstimulated (most likely Delta or Color, because they can see the other ghosts), then the other two will immediately help and take them somewhere safe. Or if Color's hyper-empathy starts to get too bad, Delta will focus on taking care of the ghosts while Epic calms him down and reassures him.
- If Epic gets scared or startled by something, his immediate reaction is to scream and jump on the nearest person or object. They have a game made out of how many tally's they can get with being the one to catch him.
- Cross is allowed and invited to come along. Delta was very hesitant to let someone else come after the whole Killer incident, but Epic had a talk with Cross and Cross proved himself trustworthy. Unfortunately he got the shit scared out of him by one of the ghosts. But he is always welcome on the adventures.
- They found a cat when they were exploring once. They took it home. They have a cat now.
- Delta is ALWAYS armed when they go exploring somewhere new. They never know what they'll encounter and want to guarantee protection. Color and Epic are aware of this, and whoever else comes along is made aware. They found a live person once. The person tried to attack them. That person was not alive for much longer.
- You know those old "[insert place] gothic" stories that went around on Tumblr for a bit? That's basically what they experience. Delta has learned many lessons from these things and it is the main reason he has rules and rituals in place to keep them all safe.
- If you've ever watched Sam and Colby or The Boys, that's kind of how I'd imagine their investigations to go.
- If a ghost is ready to be freed and let go of what's chaining them to their death place, Delta actually knows how to set them free. It takes up the majority of his energy though and afterwards, he has to rest immediately or else he'll faint.
- If there are children ghosts in where they're exploring, Delta and Color will know. They will get incredibly upset, but Delta will immediately seek to free them of their chains. Delta will not allow himself to show too much emotion, he knows the kids can sense it and doesn't want to upset them, but they will be incredibly quiet. Color would be able to keep himself calm, enough to be able to explain to Epic why Delta is suddenly quiet or acting as if they're interacting with someone. Once they're away from the place, they'll both allow themselves to feel what they need to and get through it.
- They have all been physically attacked by ghosts/demons before. Scratches, bite marks, bruises. All the like.
- Delta has fought both ghosts and demons before on these trips. Epic thinks it's hilarious because he can't see them and all he sees is Delta swinging at air. Color does not know what to think of it but if it's justified, he let's Delta do it and basically narrates it for Epic, which makes it even funnier.
- One time Color snapped at a ghost that was messing with them a little too much. Epic recorded while Delta and Beta quietly debated about whether they should stop Color and when. The ghost decided to get aggressive and Color didn't even hesitate before smacking the shit out of it. Delta/Beta and Epic agreed to not stop him until it was necessary.
And that's all I have for now! Also, happy birthday!!!
Thoughts?
Thank you for the birthday wishes! This was a wonderful gift too 💕.
And i love this Epic Sanses go Ghost Hunting thingy. I like to imagine they do it as like a bonding experience every other weekend, whenever their work or color and deltas responsibilities to beta/souls/killer allow some free time.
The thought of Color smacking the shit out of a ghost and delta squaring up with mannequins is hilarious to me. And of course Killer would try to play a prank, ghosts and demons very likely aren’t anything scary or interesting to him lmao. Especially if it scared delta.
the cat they brought home was probably the best thing about having to deal with color going on somewhere killer cant follow—if he gets cats he’s probably content about it all. (Wonder what he thinks about color showing up with bruises, scratches and marks.
Obviously stage 1 would probably be worried, especially if he doesn’t quite trust epic and delta yet, but stage 2 might have a different view on it. Sadistic little fuck would probably think color would look prettier with his bite marks and scratches.)
And I love that delta is so knowledgeable about these things, taking it all very seriously—I wonder if he always believed in supernatural things even before the events of Ultra/Vitaltale. Maybe he’s always been sensitive to that type of stuff. And i cant help but imagine Delta and Beta jumping and ganging up on the spirit that possessed them, and basically tossing bro out. It’s hilarious to me.
#howlsasks#utmv headcanons#chromatic crew#epic sanses#ultratale beta#ultratale#color spectrum duo#delta sans#delta!sans#epic sans#epic!sans#color sans#colour sans#color!sans#othertale sans#epictale sans#killer sans#cross sans#dude and bruh#utmv#sans au#sans aus#six human souls#othertale six human souls#undertale au#cross!sans#killer!sans#bravery soul#epic!tale#d3lta anon
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Elliot's Thoughts on Obihiro Division
Hisoka Tetsumasu
"Hisoka-san? Oh, I met him when my class took a surprise field trip to his ranch in Obihiro. I veered away from the group for a bit to get away from some of the bullies who were making fun of me. Saying things like, 'I was returning home or something.' Truthfully, their insults didn't hurt as bad as it sounded. I actually didn't mind being surrounded by animals. If I wasn't so interested in medicine, I'd probably like to become a farmer. But being a veterinarian is my primary goal right now."
"Anyway, after I ventured away from the group, I decided to visit the stables where the horses were located. And... well, you know me. When I'm around an animal, I can't help but have a conversation with it. I was talking with one of the horses when Hisoka-san spotted me. He was wondering how I got so good at understanding horses. I, uh... I sorta told him that I could speak to animals, but... I could tell he didn't believe me. Not that I blame him. If I weren't able to do it, I don't think I'd believe it myself if someone said they could converse with animals."
"Besides that, he helped me out with some of my class assignments and was nice. Before I left though, he admitted he was curious about what exactly the horse and I spoke about. I didn't tell everything since the horse, which I later found out was named 'Milo', asked me not to reveal a lot, but I told him about what the horse thought about its owner, who... well, I'll speak about him in a minute..."
Daiki Kamiyama
*Sighs* "Yes, this is the boy, whom I later found out is named Daiki-kun, who owns that horse, Milo. Apparently, he was listening in when Hisoka-san asked me what Milo and I were talking about. He thinks that I told Hisoka-san that Milo thinks he is annoying, which is not at all what I said! Milo thinks Daiki-kun is quite nice, but considers some of his mannerisms to be annoying! He likes Daiki-kun, but can get a bit irked when Daiki-kun is being loud for some reason."
"I tried to explain that it was just a misunderstanding, but Daiki-kun wouldn't listen. Now, he thinks that I'm trying to steal Milo from him! He even called me an 'evildoer!' Now I'm too scared to go back to the ranch because I may run into him again!" *Sighs* "And I really wanted to speak to Milo and the other horses again..."
Jack Verrill
"I haven't met Jack-san, unfortunately. But I heard he serves Daiki-kun as his personal butler, which was a shock to find out! I guess that means Daiki-kun is quite rich, or comes from a rich family. I've never heard of them, but I'll have to be sure to research them. Hopefully finding out more about them will help me make up with Daiki-kun. ...I hope."
Veiled Vanguard
"This team... it doesn't exactly fill me with ease. I mean, I like Hisoka-san. He seems nice enough. And Jack-san seems... okay. But Daiki-kun... it makes me sad that he thinks I'm an... 'evildoer'. Especially when I wasn't at all trying to do anything mean!" *Sighs* "I wonder if this is how Yorii-kun feels at times. I just hope he'll give me a chance to explain at the D.R.B. I really don't want us to be enemies."
#hypmic#hypmic oc#hypnosis mic#hypnosis mic oc#hypnosis microphone#setagaya division#enigma#elliot shimizu#obihiro division#veiled vanguard#hisoka tetsumasu#daiki kamiyama#jack verrill
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Fitness or Fatness
Ugh. I'm healthy, at least on paper. I'm in my 60's and don't require any meds to stay alive. I am a shining example of good luck and good genetics. It's certainly not because I am dedicated to fitness or diet. I mean, I try. I just don't try very hard. I eat healthy, but i am also a fan of tasty snacks. I walk for exercise, but not like I should.
Unfortunately, I am at an age where I really need to make some choices that will keep me healthy and mobile for a long time. Odds are that I'll get quite old (the women in my family live forever) and I want to be able to do the things I like. That's pretty much just gardening and shopping, I'm not trying to run marathons or anything, but still. Having said all of that, the mister and I drove over to Centreville today to check out the new YMCA. It's a big, beautiful facility that offers everything from water aerobics to kickboxing. There are plans in place for an outdoor pool as well. We toured the various sections, talked to the sweetest young woman about membership, and I think we're going to give it a whirl. After my ankle surgery a few years ago I used to water jog in the pool of our nearest rec center. It was such great exercise and so easy on my joints, a doctor recommended therapy. At the Y I'd be able to participate in water aerobics or just take an open lane and water jog. Not gonna' lie, the water aerobics appeal to me because the women in those classes are usually such fun. Potential friends? Back in Tennessee it was sure a fun group. now all I have to do is blow the dust off my swimsuits and see if I can still shove everything into place. I may need counseling afterward. The YMCA in Centerville is about 17 miles from our house - mostly through cornfields. This was a nice surprise during the drive. Sunflowers!
Aren't they beautiful? So cheerful. I hesitate to say that my gardens are trying to rally. I still have the world's healthiest tomato plant that has never produced fruit, but everything else is blooming and looking pretty (finally!). My pumpkin plants are thriving and I'm cautiously optimistic. I've just cursed myself, haven't I? At this point I'd sell my soul for one pretty pumpkin for the grandgirl to pick. Crossing my fingers. That's all my news for this Tuesday evening. Not much happens around here. We're on our sofas, watching the U.S. women's gymnastics team dominate at the Olympics. They're flying through the air and flipping and twisting, powered by sculpted muscle. I'm in my stretchy pants saying, "I think she stepped out on that landing..." Yep, might be time for me to get to the Y and build a little muscle myself. But first, a cookie... I hope you're doing something good for yourself. You deserve it, and you'll be glad you did. No one ever said they regretted making healthy choices. Taking care of your body doesn't mean worrying about pant size or numbers on a scale - it's about feeling good, moving well, and being strong. That's priceless. I don't need to have a snatched waist, I need to be able to hike to the Sacre Coeur in Paris. I don't need to be a size 2, I need to be able to run for a train with my bag. Living the life I want has nothing to do with my figure and everything to do with my health. Take this advice from an old crone, younger ladies - focus on what you want to do and not how you want to look. We live in a society determined to convince us that no matter how we look it is never quite good enough, so just ignore that. Sure, slap on your lipstick and a cute outfit, but anchor all of that with how you feel. All the makeup in the world can't compete with the glow of good health. I'll be honest, I haven't felt great since we moved here. Two years of feeling unwell, or just...not like myself. I blamed covid, I blamed menopause, I researched all sorts of supplements, I did everything except take care of myself. It shows. The good news is that it's not too late. I got sweaty on the treadmill this morning and felt better all day long. It truly is that simple, all we have to do is start. Sending out so much love tonight, I hope you feel it. Take care of yourself. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy
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what’s ur favorite martial art & also what would you recommend for beginners
Saying mma is my favorite is probably such a cop out...I was introduced to jiujitsu first and liked that the best for a while because I knew more of what I was doing...but before my dojo closed I liked stand-up style stuff more. Judo was fun because!! cool flip!! but karate ended up being my ultimate favorite because there is absolutely no way you can BS it and once you learn the Thing, you really learn the Thing. If I'm standing on moving transportation, I still fall into kiba-dachi (horse rising stance) so I don't get knocked over, lol.
I'm no expert in martial arts and once my dojo closed, I did sort of fight-club style stuff in school where I'd see someone hitting the bag in the gym or doing judo and just sort of. Crash in. See what was up. Don't, like, just flat-out ask to fight somebody, but if you see people in the park or gym doing something that seems interesting, you can always ask what it is (however if you see a barefoot guy with stringy hair in the park and he asks you if you want to see the weapons in his car...no. Just. Not worth it, no). Bjj (Brazilian jiujitsu) has been more accessible to beginners in my own personal experience. There are moves you learn, but in the end if you're fast/big/strong/or wily enough, you can roll or wrestle or strong-arm your way through a spar without actually knowing a gazillion moves. But Bjj is not what I would recommend to someone who does NOT like close contact. There are times where the face and foot meets some pretty unfortunate parts. You get over the awkwardness eventually, but it can take a really long time to get cool with it--and that goes for both, whether you've got the parts down there or up there.
If someone was looking to start for self-defense/just good to know reasons, I haven't done krav maga, but it's been developed precisely for get-in-get-out scenarios. I only did judo for a short time, and voluntarily getting thrown over someone's shoulder to smack your whole rag doll body to the mats is not for the faint of heart, but you do learn how to fall and people don't generally go WWE on you unless they are inexperienced and think they gotta, or you went WWE on them first. Knowing a few throws in general is nice just to have in your back pocket. Street fight or bar fight, you not only will be the coolest person in the room, but you give yourself the upperhand to either a. run (personal recommendation) or b. if the situation is a must, beat the stuffing out of somebody.
So in the end...it depends on what a beginners gonna be comfortable with and what they want out of it. I got lucky and joined a dojo that was more "traditional" (everyone starts kneeling facing the shrine, the moves are in (honestly, butchered) Japanese, we could (though I can not personally verify, there are books) trace our lineage back to Japan, moves are equally spiritual and physical, etc. etc.) and it felt more mature and art-oriented. Some places can feel a little (or a lot) kitschy though, so if someone was thinking about starting classes, I'd do research and try to get a feel of what kind of dojos/gyms are out there. If the instructor wants you to call them Grand Master Dragon, I'd squint, because if they are properly certified, they'll be called sensei (teacher)/senpai (senior)/shihan (teacher of teachers)...if the martial art you're looking at DOESN'T come from Japan, it'll be different, but. Still. My former dojo was a leaky garage behind a sketchy Burger King and I never once called anyone grand master dragon hoo-ha-ha-ha. Also if someone tells you that you can be a black belt in like THREE years, that's sketch, bruh. It took me two years to memorize beginner's kata and perform it somewhat decently. Will it take everyone two years? Absolutely not; I didn't want to compete, I didn't immediately fall in love with karate, I had to do some off-and-on shenanigans. But if Grand Master Hoo-Ha-Ha tells you you can be Grand Champion Hoo-Ha-Ha in three years when people have literally DEDICATED THEIR ENTIRE LIVES TO DEVELOPING OR FURTHERING THEIR EQUALLY SPIRITUAL AND PHYSICAL ART, be sus, you know?
I'm biased towards Japanese martial arts, but there are tons of styles from around the world and developed throughout history, and if anyone even has a passing interest, no matter what age or background, I say go for it. It's cool, it's useful, it's mental and physical exercise, and I've never met someone who knows capoeira but MAN DO I WANT TO.
Thank you for instigating my TED Talk. Disclaimer, I am again, not an expert, and to be honest, not that highly belted (I'm not sure my belt is even still "good" now that my dojo is closed and I haven't trained in so long). But there are things I know now that I didn't know the first time someone punched me in the face, so that's got to count for something. If there's anything you learn from martial arts, it's that you can learn from anybody, even if they're doing it wrong.
Thank you for asking me something I absolutely have no strong opinions on, enjoy! 💪
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sorry if this is a random question but I think I need some advice (ramblings ahead)
I've been thinking hard about trying to go to college this year, mainly for social interaction since I'm very deprived of that. but at the same time, I'm pre-t, have no idea when I'll be able to start t and pass about 5% of the time.
I'd rather have my arms and legs cut off than girlmode, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea to lie about having some chromosome disorder or being intersex. I don't care about passing as the manliest macho man ever I just prefer not to have people think I'm just a "tr*nny", a lesbian or a delusional chick or whatever. my country is also not... the biggest fan of trans people (we have the leading numbers in lgbt people murdered, hooray!!) so safety is also a concern.
did you have a similar experience of trying to be stealth pre t, and how was it? is lying a bit about yourself/your past okay if it is for your safety? I really want to go to college because social isolation is killing me, but at the same time I hate the thought of interacting with other people because so many of them will just think of me as a girl pretending to be a guy and i've had shitty experiences with people from school/work knowing I was trans in the past. but being a social recluse probably doesn't help, does it.
(sorry for this being so long and rambly and thank you in advance for taking time to read this)
Oof. That sounds very stressful. I definitely understand the worry. I'm going to try and make sure I tackle everything but feel free to follow up if I miss anything.
College is a great place for social interaction. Classes give you something talk about and let you see people regularly. It also gives you something to focus on besides just talking to people. But it's also not the only place. I don't know if you have them, but there are clubs and meetups for adults that might also be helpful. I'm in a hiking group for example.
Many community centers and libraries will have activities and classes you can take for free or cheap. Nice thing about these is they are short term. I always found myself worried a lot less about passing if I'm not going to see the people around me again. A club would be long term, but you'd see the people less which might be helpful for stress/safety/anxiety. All of them have low commitments too so you can quit or leave easily.
I have a post here that has times lower on for passing when you are pre everything. It's not perfect, but it might be useful for you. I swore I had another but I can't find it.
I'd be careful lying about being intersex. The last thing you want is to be caught up in it and run into issues. If safety is an issue, as unfortunately and terrible as it is, your best bet would be to stay in the closet. I know how much it sucks, trust me I do. But it's safer to let people think you're a women than trans when push comes to shove. I did that a few times before I really started passing. You do what you have to.
That said, lying is always ok for your safety. You need to be careful with it. But it's better to lie then to die.
If possible, it's always good to find a college that's more accepting. People there will be more likely to see you as you are. Not sure if going abroad or anything is possible. But definitely don't throw out your options right away. Research and see what you can actually do and what you're willing to do. Cuz I totally get not wanting to go far from home.
Are there any LGBT centers or communities around you?? Those are a great place to go and actually feel like yourself. If it's not safe to do that, then definitely prioritize what's best for you.
The hardest part is just putting yourself out there and going for it. It's ok to fail. There's always other chances and other people to befriend. It's scary and there will always be that worry. But putting it off just makes things harder in the long run. Sometimes you really do just have to try and hope it goes ok. I really do think a library or community club would help better though. It's less commitment and often cheaper. You'll also meet more varied age ranges. I find groups with lots of different ages are often more accepting because of all the different experiences and people being more willing to sit and explain/listen to things.
Good luck 🤞🤞🤞
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big dumb objects move the entire fucking galaxy and they created alien refugees who accidentally found us. your move, Earth.
Hello guys! I've been bouncing around this random worldbuilding/space opera idea in my head and decided to infodump it here.
Essentially I am writing a (relatively) hard science-fiction story set in the present/very near future, where a strange phenomenon is causing stars in a distant region of the Milky Way galaxy (a few thousand light years from Earth) to accelerate 'upward' relative to the plane of the Milky Way's ecliptic. This 'strange phenomenon' is due to the machinations of an alien race unknown to humankind, who I call the 'Shapemakers'. For an unknown reason, the Shapemakers have deployed a network of slower-than-light Von Neumann probes that have been spreading from star to star in this region of the Milky Way and dismantling any matter they come across (primarily that of debris disks and planetary systems in orbit of each star). This matter is then used to construct immense Class A stellar engines (based on the principle of the Shkadov thruster). A Shkadov thruster is essentially a immense bowl-shaped mirror hundreds of millions of kilometers wide that focuses and reflects solar radiation pressure. The asymmetric shape of this thruster causes the star itself to move, deflecting it from its standard orbit around the Milky Way. The problem is, to build one you'd need a lot of material - if we wanted to build an efficient one for our sun, we'd probably have to take apart something the size of the planet Mercury. The mirror would also have to be placed somewhere out of the Solar System's ecliptic plane, so the reflected sunlight doesn't hit Earth's atmosphere and flash-fry our planet like a banana bursting in its skin.
I've done some preliminary research and it seems like a Shkadov thruster would impart an extremely small amount of acceleration compared to a star's relative velocity as seen from Earth, on the order of 10^-12 m/s squared of acceleration. It would thus take millions of years to achieve any kind of significant artificial deviation - after ten million years, you'd shift a star by a couple light-years, after a hundred million you're looking at 300ly and after a billion you could change a star's position in the galaxy by roughly 30,000 light years - a full third of the galaxy's diameter. I'm not sure yet how we could tell this 'engineered' acceleration apart from a star's natural radial velocity on a human timescale, if we even could? Maybe we track back the predicted prior orbits of stars and realize that over the last few million years, they've all slowly been deviating from where they were supposed to be?
My other idea is that we'd be able to see a Shkadov thruster by monitoring these far away stars, given their immense size and the sheer amount of reflected light output. I assume they'd be detected relatively easily (hence why none have been sighted in real life yet), but the crux of the matter is that this discovery - the discovery that the very stars of our galaxy are being altered - has to be kept relatively secret. The less noticeable this is, the better - I'd like this to be a relatively new discovery that requires specialised, cutting-edge technology that only a few have access to, rather than something any old Joe renting telescope time can take a screenshot of. The trouble is, the Shapemakers' probes seem unconcerned about anything other than the stars themselves: their goal is simply to move as many stars as possible. Speculation runs from a galactic-scale 'deforestation' project, to using the galaxy itself to construct some enigmatic megastructure and even the idea to 'limit damage' caused by the merging of the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies. In most cases, these systems are barren. No worries - the probes simply dismantle a shitload of lifeless planets and asteroids, build their incomprehensible engines and go on their merry way.
Unfortunately if there's a planet with life involved in the target system, it's highly likely to be game over. On the off chance that your planet doesn't get blown apart and dismantled to make a thruster, the probes don't give a fuck about where they build the thruster as long as it's in the direction their creators want it to accelerate. So you could buy your species a few years watching alien robots rip your solar system apart, only to get boiled alive as the reflected 'exhaust' of your star's light gradually sizzles your shitty little planet like an ant under a magnifying glass. Not a nice way to go. Even then, under the luckiest of circumstances with your planet somehow surviving this whole process, you're still being dragged away from the galactic plane into god-knows-where: held hostage by gravity.
The worst part? The probes are so advanced that there's no way to reason with them or even guess at how they do what they do. Are the Shapemakers so advanced that they just sicced a bunch of hyper-advanced construction robots on the galaxy without even realizing it's inhabited? Do they know other life forms exist and they just don't give a fuck? Are the probes on some billion-year long timer, so while they're busy reshaping the galaxy the Shapemakers have stepped away from the proverbial oven and gone to take a proverbial shit? Are the Shapemakers themselves extinct, and the robots are the last twitch of their species' hand - an endless swarm of self-replicating machines that will do their dead masters' bidding until the end of time? There's no way to know.
That's where the second part - and main plot of the story - revolves around an alien spacecraft entering our Solar System from one of these distant stars. The Von Neumann machines began to dismantle their system several millennia ago by human standards, and said aliens barely had time to construct a kind of 'survivors' ark' before their homeworld was destroyed. The ark shows up a little while after humans have figured out the stars are moving, and takes up an orbit around one of the outer gas giants in our Outer Solar System (I'm leaning towards Saturn) to start mining them for materials. Humans naturally want to make first contact and send an extremely expensive mission out to this alien spacecraft. Once we realise, oh fuck, we're meeting literal aliens, the aliens tell us about the Shapemakers' plans - and that's when we realize the probes are slowly encroaching on Earth's part of the galaxy.
They won't be here for a while yet - the probes travel at a decent fraction of lightspeed but the nearest of them won't get here for hundreds or even thousands of years. Still, now humanity faces a choice - get its act in gear and join the aliens on their endless refugee journey through deep space, or convince the aliens to make a stand and unravel the truth behind the mysterious forces that threaten all life in the galaxy with destruction?
#writeblr#writing#writers community#worldbuilding#sci-fi#science fiction#hard science fiction#space opera#megastructure#big dumb object(s) trope my beloved#wip: the shapemakers#(still a wip of a wip title so don't judge!!!!)#I love maths as long as it's related to my close interests
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Secret Ending Three - Chapter Four: Options
Been ages since I've done any writing. Finally sat down to get some done.
I did some research into Korean culture for this chapter. The stuff that Lance says about school looks to be true, from what the internet has told me.
It's funny. My teddy bear's hand in mine, I'm sitting here at Banjul. A cafe. Places famous for the clutter and mess of food. Facing me is my silver haired doll, looking down at the papers he's placed on the table. The surface is clear of crumbs and completely spotless, now covered in notebooks and forms, all ordered neatly beside each other. It's all colour coded and even the pens sit next to each other in their black-blue-red order.
"Now, I've written up, in detail, what each option for us entails. Facts are written in black, opinions are written in blue. Pros on the left, cons on the right. In this folder is all the information you need about the academy, while this folder has information about jobs or other opportunities. Here is a pad for your own notes. Any questions..? Yes, Red?" "When can I go to the bathroom?" "You should have gone during lunch." "But I didn't need to go then!" "Fine," Lance relented with a tired sigh. I think if this were my first impression of school, I'd rather just stay home.
"It looks like a lot..." he says beside me, fidgeting with his sleeves as he takes all the paperwork in front of him in. "I'll definitely be in the same class as you guys though, right?" "Oh, of course, I'll make sure of it," I reply. "In my class, there'll be you, Lance, Yeonho, Soi and Shinbi. I'm the health commissioner, meaning that Mr Yujin gets to boss me around; Soi's the class president, so she kind of represents the class and is in charge when there's no teacher, and Shinbi's the vice president... You remember Soi and Shinbi, right?" "How could I forget that noisy blonde girl who wants to be a model?" "Oh, Soi's not the model, Shinbi is. She's on loads of magazines, but her dream job is to be a full time model for this one company... Hmm, I can't remember the name of it right now, but I know it's a big one." "Yeah... I can't blame you for not knowing, it sounds really boring. Standing around, posing in different outfits. I've done enough of that." "Well, maybe it's boring to you," I considered, sipping the last of my tea. "I just know she really enjoys it... Oh, and I also really like the clothing."
"Well, alright then... But do I have to become a class commissioner or a health president too? It sounds demanding" "You don't have to have any particular role in the school, no," Lance explained, for once refusing the chance to correct someone's poor wording. "But you can if you want to. Unfortunately, those specific roles are already taken, but you can take up similar roles in clubs."
Lance flipped through the academy folder and found the section he wrote on clubs. I don't think there'll be a day that the beautiful and professional way he organises everything doesn't amaze me. There lies, first of all, a contents page, listing all the different clubs in the school. The next few pages go into more detail about what each club is about, who founded them, and other things like where it's held and when.
"I, personally, am a member of the student government. This means that I handle matters relating to the school and making sure that everything runs smoothly, like ensuring that other clubs are being appropriate and not breaking any rules in their activities." "... By cross dressing?"
I watch Lance's pale face cloud pink and smile to myself, watching his eyes find anything to focus on other than us... Heheh... I had no idea something like that might come out of my bear's mouth.
"... What?" Red, who'd returned from the bathroom, asked. "Cross dressing? What do you mean?" "Um..." I struggled to find words without almost bursting out laughing. But Lance cleared his throat, reorganising the papers. "That is none of your concern... Let us change the subject if we're done with this topic." "But-"
"School doesn't just consist of club activities and friends though. You will attend classes every day, including maths, science, Korean, moral education, social studies, practical arts, physical education, music, fine arts, and foreign languages." "Right..." says my bear, head in his hands. "Classes are fifty minutes long with a ten minute break in between and seven classes a day, beginning at eight forty in the morning, ending usually at about four thirty in the afternoon." "Uh huh..." "You will be provided with notebooks for each class and will be expected to make sufficient notes during so that you will be able to pass all the exa-."
"When can I go to the bathroom?" "... Well, the teacher will usually let you go to the bathroom if you ask-" "It's over that way, isn't it?" "Oh... You meant right now."
He stood up and walked in the direction he saw Red walking in earlier, before finally finding his way and disappearing from sight. Lance watched him silently, probably wanting to object, but instead turned his attention back to his notes with a sigh.
"Where do you think the nearest stationery shop might be? We could take him there afterwards and see if he'd like a particular set." "Oh, that's a good idea. I'm not too familiar with this area though. Maybe I'll look it up."
I opened my smartphone and flicked past the background of the seven of us to find a search engine. The clever map on my phone highlights a bunch of different shops, one that's about a ten minute walk away. I never knew before that the internet would let me see a street view of the place from my phone, as if I were there myself. There are a couple of people around and even a dog. On the left is a cute looking candy store, and on the right...
...an estate agent...
... Right. Some of the dolls might have to move. We'll probably have to use one of these.
I wonder... It wouldn't hurt to take a look, right?
The website lists properties that are near and far, small and big, cheap and expensive. It looks like there are a few properties with two bedrooms not that far from our house actually. Might some of us have to move into a place like this?
Just out of curiosity though... Just because they're pretty to look at, some of these four bedroom houses look nice. This one has two bathrooms and even has a pretty cherry tree in the back garden.
"Did you find one?" Lance's cold voice snaps me out of my trance. "Huh..? Uh, yeah. This one looks good." "..." "..." "... That's a house." "... Huh." "No stationery shops around?" "... Oh! Yeah, uh... I found one near here, yeah." "Okay, then let's go there after. But..." "Hm?"
"I'm worried." "Why?" "Hasn't he been in the bathroom for a while now?" "Oh... Come to think of it, yeah." I must have spent longer than I thought on that letting website. "Do you think he's alright?" "I don't know... Would you go and check on him?" "Yeah, I should. I'll be right back."
Through a small hallway decorated with elegant instruments and antique cutlery was just one bathroom. The red colouring above the door handle showed it was definitely occupied, and it's thankfully quiet today, so there's no queue.
I hesitantly knock. "Hey, it's me. You've been a while, are you okay?" There's a shuffle before the door becomes unlocked... Does this mean I should come in?
I'm met with the view of my bear sitting in the corner of the room, huddled into a small ball... It looks quite sad.
"I want to go home," he mumbled, barely audible. "Oh my god... Are you okay? Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?" I close the door behind me and he simply shakes his head as I cradle him in my arms.
"This isn't gonna work, I'm not good at anything. How am I supposed to go to school? I've only ever watched you at school, I've never actually been there myself. And even if it wasn't so hard, it's always so crowded. If you struggle with school and you've been doing it for years, how awful am I gonna be at it? That silver head thinks it's so easy. At least those dolls were made with the idea of going about society. I was just made to be cuddly and stay home. How am I gonna do this..."
"What? No way! I'm so sorry we made you feel that way, but I promise it's not that bad. And besides, you don't have to get straight As if it's too difficult. We can just take it slowly." "You really think so? You don't remember how that guy used to lecture you every single day and study with you for hours? How many questions you got wrong? You don't remember what he said about Yeonho being bad at maths?" "I..." "Even if it doesn't matter what the teachers think, he'll still be there when I go home. At least in the near future. I can't do it at school or at home and I'll just be bringing everyone else down with them trying to support me. It's not gonna work. Should we just give up?"
"Hey... I know how you feel. School is difficult for me too. But you can't give up when you haven't even started yet. And you don't have to be good at everything. We don't have to worry about exams anyway when we have more important stuff to worry about right now." "But Lance..." "Just... Listen. He's not gonna hurt you. He can be harsh sometimes and definitely a bit intimidating, especially when it comes to school, but he just really likes to stick to the rules. He'll understand if you're not breaking the rules just because you can. You're struggling. It's... Hmm."
Maybe I should have noticed sooner the way that he was getting so overwhelmed by what Lance was saying. And all the papers as well. Even how clean the table was. Lance sure can be a bit overbearing at times... But he doesn't mean it.
"I think it's something that we should just talk to Lance about. He's definitely the expert, right? He's even a discipline guide, so it's his job to help." "Really..?" "Yeah. Even if he can't help, it's best to be straight forward about it anyway. This is your future we're discussing here. We shouldn't just get all the facts straight about the academy, we should get the facts straight about you and how you feel too. Come on. Let's go and speak to Lance now, yeah?" "I..." I looked into his face and held my hand out to him. "Okay. Let's go." His hand is soft and warm in mine.
We didn't have to walk too far to find him though. As soon as we opened the bathroom door, there he stood in the hallway. I'd chastise him for eavesdropping, but I think this is an exception.
"Um..." He clears his throat again, hands visibly fidgeting behind his back. "So... I didn't... Well... I understand if you no longer wish to go to the academy. It's not something that's easy." I stroked the hand in mine with my thumb supportively. "Uh... It might be okay if I try going to the academy... It's just... What if I fail..."
"That's okay. I understand that I might have overwhelmed you with information and may have emphasised the negative aspects too much. I know that I've been quite insensitive towards other people in the past, but I'm working on changing that now." Lance bows his head sincerely towards us both. The ice is melting in his heart...
"I will do everything in my power to help you acclimate to the academy and will ensure that you always stay on top of classes and have enough time off if it becomes too overwhelming. I will personally give you a tour of the school on the first day and give you the highest of quality study sessions, according to your own schedule and preferences."
He straightens himself up and smooths down his clothes and my attention is once again drawn to his tidiness. His clothes had been recently ironed and even his fingernails were trimmed neatly in the same shape and size as each other.
"But I'm not saying this just to impress the owner. We are in competition, after all." I keep almost forgetting... "So I've had to start considering what my life might entail if I am not the one to win. I would like to pursue the position of student government president.
"A big aspect of being the student government president is impartiality and strict adherence to the rules. But I have learned, through Eri's help, the importance of emotions and patience. I know now that another big aspect of being the student government president is trying to understand other people's perspectives and why they might not be following the rules or meeting the highest standards."
Lance looks into his eyes, determined. I don't know how my bear's feeling, but I feel really happy that Lance is saying something so kind and thoughtful. I remember how his nickname, Ice Prince, didn't just come from his looks, but from his past attitude towards people. I'd almost forgotten that Lance hasn't always been so thoughtful. He was getting ahead of himself earlier, talking about the academy without thinking, but it was him who said he was worried. Worried about someone else...
"If you ever find yourself in a problem relating to the academy, you can always come to me. I do not mind and I can always make time to help people in need. That is my vow," he said with a final bow. "I...greatly appreciate it," my bear said, bowing back in reply.
I can't help but smile at this scene. We return to our seats and the rest of the day at Banjul goes much more smoothly. All in all, a good day. I hope I never forget these happy memories together.
#my post#cheritz#nameless the one thing you must recall#writeblr#my writing#I didn't know how to end it so I just ended it on that.
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Hello there! So, the school year hasn't really started but there's only a week left before it starts and I'm getting a little nervous. I thought maybe I could list down some of my worries to remind myself I at least know what the heck I'm nervous about.
Research. Okay, so this year, as far as I'm aware, we have three researches to finish. One Filipino, one quantitative, and (not really sure if this counts as a research project but I'm putting it here because it's a big deal anyway) one related to our job immersion. Not sure if our teachers will actually go through with these, but this is based on what we saw the previous 12th graders do during their last year in senior high school. I'm not really looking forward to doing three whole papers in a single year so this shakes me up quite a bit.
Grades. Ah, of course, grades—the unfortunate basis of most of our worth because of the societal pressure to be the best. I am always worried about my grades, even when I know I did my best. Waiting for my grades just always makes me think that at some point during the semester there must have been a moment where I fucked everything up, even when I can't recall said moment.
Getting burnt-out. As a creative person, this sucks. I hate when I get so stressed about school and so sleep-deprived that I run out of energy to make myself feel better through writing and reading. When I get burnt-out, I can't think of anything. And—surprise, surprise—not being able to think of anything burns me out even more, so it becomes an exhausting cycle of having no motivation to do anything at all.
Not being better than last year. This is pretty self-explanatory, but I'll tell you why anyway: I am a pretty competitive person. Sometimes, if I know I can't beat other people in my class, I try to beat myself. The idea of me not doing as good as I did in the past terrifies me and I end up thinking how much I've deteriorated and failed in reaching even my own standards. Being the "gifted kid" (who never actually believed she was a gifted kid because of all the hours I spent studying), I have had a pretty hard time dealing with pressure. Most of it is from me, too, and we all know how hard it is to convince ourselves that a belief we've had about ourselves is wrong.
Surprisingly, these are all my worries. Last year, I managed to make a friend out of almost all my classmates. I managed to raise my hand in class despite my anxiousness. I managed to speak in front of the class with courage, no matter how much my knees shook. If I hadn't pushed myself to do all of these things, I might be worried about them until today. So, to make up for all the negative energy in this list, I'd like to pat myself on the back for conquering some of my biggest worries of all!
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Rudimentary study of how language relates to colors? 👀 (Several of my uni classes have addressed how language is tied to cultural nuances, so my curiosity is piqued.)
Right, so [crack knuckles and stretches] - this story goes in all different directions but OMG I'm so excited to tell it soooooo, sorry not sorry.
I'm big into color, like my favorite task at my part-time job in high school was organizing the thread towers or being let loose on the wall of broadcloth solids to make sure everything is in rainbow order. So needless to say I have a fair obsession with paint chips and the paint/color displays at home improvement stores. Which was a large foundational reason I chose this project.
My major in undergrad was Japanese and all language majors had to take a few basic linguistic courses, which was unfortunately, a class I did not enjoy because the International Phonetic Alphabet is so confusing to me and probably the TA teaching it didn't explain it well. (That said, etymology and language evolution FASCINATES ME. Ask me about words, any day, any time, any place.)
So we had our year end project and we had to conduct our own language experiment. None of this class (or any undergraduate class) has gone over how to read, conduct, or run research projects so we're all flying fairly blind in this and approaching it with the brain of an undergraduate but the scientific method of a sixth grader submitting something to the science fair.
One thing we . . . read? discussed? (I dunno how I stumbled across it in this class) that we touched on at some point was how researchers were starting to really look into how different language speakers categorized color. So I, of course, immediately decided something about THAT was going to be my final project. Because color! Because paint chips!
I wheedled someone with a car to drive me to the local Lowe's (or Home Depot or whatever), and just went CRAZY on collecting paint chips. And when I got back to my dorm, I randomly labeled them all with numbers. Then, I started reaching out to friends to ask around to ask for participation from people whose first language wasn't English. When I got about five or six people who weren't native English speakers and like three who were, I'd meet them and have them sort the colors into categories. No pressure on what they wanted to sort them into, but just to sort them, like colors with like colors.
After I’d note their grouping with the number on the back (i.e. group 1 had paint chips 2, 5, 19, 27, and so on) with the person’s native language and it’s language family. And then wrote it all up in a paper (mind you, see above about research not being taught so it was definitely an ESSAY over any attempt at a research paper).
And honestly, I mean, there were like ten people MAX I asked to do this, the results seemed to be very heavily skewed towards languages really having an effect on how one groups color or mentally categorizes it.
It's like the idea of orange, you know. Orange the color is supposedly named after the fruit, so until English speakers encountered the fruit, the color was categorized within the red or yellow family. But it could be that a language that developed in places where orange natively grew, orange might be it's own category within color.
There is a book called "Color Language and Color Categorization" edited by Geda Paulsen that I'd really like to read at some point.
But yeah, that's my long form answer!
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Hi suchi so today something happened...and i wanna share it with you cause i feel like you're not gonna get annoyed. And if you do, feel free to delete this ask.
So today in school my bestie said to switch the direction of the seats in which we were sitting (for example i was sitting at the right and she was at left so she wanted to switch) i asked her why and became a bit stubborn but not in that rude way. She then said "don't argue" in a like..a tone which i didn't like and tbh I'm a kind of person who's really sensitive and i also overthink a lot. So i just...i don't know after that what happened i became so quiet. I did not say a word the whole day. And in between classes she asked what happened in the beginning cause i was being too silent, but tbh, i was crying underneath the mask, cause...i just...i don't know. I just wanted to. I felt like she didn't care about me. She asked me a lot of times what happened with concern but i just... couldn't tell her i was upset about how she behaved with me (i know you might be thinking this is not something to get upset on but i just don't know what's happening to me istg😭) i just wanted her to like...know it by herself. In a guess type of way. Cause when i thought of myself being at her place, i would've thought about every single thing i have done since morning and would try to solve the riddle about why she's being so upset. After that, i finally got some courage or I'd say my breakdown kinda was over, i told her but still she was like "yeah okay but you need to tell me. How can i just understand without you telling me? If i don't get it then what can I do" it's okay, i know...you are supposed express, but like is it too much to ask for just having someone who would just think back and forth and would think from every direction just to know why are you being upset? Like i was literally crying today underneath my mask. I did not talk to her after lunch break literally and she just talked with her other friends. I literally felt so heartbroken. I know you'd be thinking who even feels this upset on her best friend doing this but for me best friend is like a really big part of my life. I want her to make efforts for me too just the way i do. It's not like she hates me or something, i know she loves me but...when things like this happen, i just get so hopeless...
When i was crying, i still was affirming that she'sy best friend, she loves me and all. I know this all maybe my thoughts reflected cause yesterday and some days ago we were being so damn good, like a literal ideal duo. And then suddenly this... Like sometimes in the 3D everything is going my way and then the after a while it becomes the total opposite. Is it normal? And also can you please like...kinda guide me how can i change her?
Awwe this entire story made me 🥺! Hey hun sorry for the late reply, I wasn’t feeling well for the past couple of days. Now worries as I said all and any questions and comments are welcome here (just no drama please) if I can help, I’ll help.😊
Firstly I can relate to you so much with wanting people to know what you’re thinking without telling them. I’m a Taurus ♉️ so I’m pretty much built like that lol but I’m also the type of person that speaks my mind. However I am sorry that you had a rough day and things were like that with your best friend (seeing that a few days has passed I’m hoping you two worked things out by now and if not I hope you do). You did the right thing by affirming that she’s still your best friend, the 3D can be a weird thing and I tooo can relate to that some days I feel like I’m king of it and I run it and some days things just aren’t in my control. Unfortunately it happens (I would argue that though we have control of the 3D their still other forces at play too so it’s very unpredictable sometimes- this is just my opinion, feel free to seek out the opinion of others or do some research on the 3D yourself).
Now what can we do to fix this (if it hasn’t already been fixed or what can we apply in the future). Here are some possible solutions:
✔️ I’d like to start by saying don’t look at it as “trying to change her”. Remember the 3D is just a reflection of what is going on within you - it’s like a mirror. If there’s something you want to change about the 3D you’ll have to change something within yourself then the 3D will reflect it.
✔️ with that being said try and work on your self concept - if you’re wondering how this is related trust me it’s very important. What we think about ourselves and/or tell ourselves (whether it’s out loud or internally) that’s what will manifest within the 3D. If you continuously think highly of yourself and carry yourself in that manner others will have to do the same. People treat you based on how you treat yourself.
✔️ work on your “inner conversation” - PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO OF NEVILLE GODDARD’S LECTURE. Let him explain this to you. It’s only 20 mins so when you have time please give it a listen. Neville will explain to you how inner conversations (that is that mental conversations that we have within ourselves with ourselves and/or others manifest into the 3D). By changing this inner conversation we can change the 3D, how we interact with others,etc. please give it a listen - he gives an example of a young woman who had a bad relationship with her employer and she changed her inner conversation with him and their relationship changed for the better in the 3D. I highly recommend everyone watch that video and/or other lectures from Neville. Don’t just take the word of people from tumblr, Reddit. Etc learn the law from Neville Goddard himself!
I really hoped this helped, again sorry for my late response and I do hope everything works out for your highest good. Sending love and positivity 💞💞
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While I understand where you're coming from with the therapy posts, I'm schizophrenic and many kinds of therapy can make me worse. Very few people employ the kind of therapy that works for people like me. Even in a better world, we'd need a lot of research regarding people like myself (although I acknowledge it'd be so much easier to figure shit out without profit incentives and class society). Not trying to be a dick here! Just thought I'd share this perspective
Oh no, this is definitely valid and I'm only tangentially familiar with. A lot of run of the mill therapists just aren't equipped or incentivized to work with psychotic disorders or other situations that need a lot of specialized care and attention.
Unfortunately we both can agree that the current system setup isn't made to incentivise research into the care and maintenance of severe disorders --
not to say this is similar to schizophrenia, but I'm mentally haunted by the one Law and Order SVU episode I saw when I was 15 where a teenaged boy admitted to having fantasies about his much younger brother to the cops, but he wasn't able to get the care he needed until after he committed a crime. Again, not a comparison at all, but sometimes I just find myself doing something completely different and that episode comes back and hits my like a ton of bricks. It was the first time I really saw the flaws in the system I was brainwashed to believe worked
-- and it's not set up to allow people to find the care they need, either due to a lack of finances or a lack of the specific forms of therapy in their location.
Again, not a direct comparison, but my mom has a severe case of scoliosis where if she didn't have rods put in her back when she was 14, she would've been in a wheelchair by 20 and likely dead before 40. When she was 35, she started looking for help because the rods in her back where causing her pain, but even though we lived very near where she grew up, no one would take her because they only dealt with kids. It turns out there were only five specialists in the world who would be able to work with her, and we were fortunate enough that my dad could sell his prized Broncos to help finance the trip and my grandmother could come and take care of us for the three months of surgery and PT my mom had to take. And it's still not perfect.
Our medical system is fucked up for so many reasons. Even with technology making things like mental health more accessible, we end up with scams like BetterHelp instead of genuine programs that help both the therapists (instead of using them) and the people seeking help. There's so so much wrong.
But I guess I can't help but think the good therapy can have, especially for people with no support systems, is also important to recognize. It still needs an overhaul. There needs to be training that's accessible to therapists and psychiatrists so they can help people. But I guess for me at least, I can see and acknowledge how fucked up parts of the system are while thinking that there's a lot of good.
I hope that makes sense. And I hope your support system is a positive one because as someone with delusions himself*, even though I am capable of recognizing them, it's impossible to pull me out of it. And it has taken six years for me to even say "I recognize that this is not reality but -- "
*I constantly need to caveat that I'm not directly comparing but I do have a tiny bit of understanding about unreality if not exactly as you deal with it vis a vi schizophrenia
#why can I not write shorter#I hate how inefficient and in many ways harmful our current medical system is#it takes so much for a person to even recognize that their mental health is suffering#and even more to get work/insurance/etc to recognize it as something valid that needs to be cared for#so you go to these people meant to help that you've been TOLD can help#but they're not right for you#they hold outdated toxic beliefs#or they're just not equipped to deal with the seriousness of the problem#and any of this can be traumatizing#so then the place you were told could help you the people you opened up with and shared intimate details of your life#the one place that people can't enter without you explicitly letting them in#and then they actually continue the TRAUMA and now there's nowhere#you can't get time off work you can't go two states away twice a month or more to a specialist#you're stuck#and you're hurting and there's nowhere you can go now because they were supposed to help#and everything's worse now#so then you see people talking how great it is for them#but it wasn't for you and it hurts because if they can get help if they had good experiences#why isn't it like that for you#are you just broken?#you're not broken#the system failed you and it fails so many people#it's imperfect but it's not because of the humans#not always#but because the foundation is rotten#capitalism is rotten#and nothing can truly be fixed until we tear out that rot and build anew#with the voices of the vulnerable leading the way#okay shit now I'm crying lmao I'm so sorry anon you've unlocked so many feelings in me#and I'm so ANGRY that the system hurts people
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If you're interested, I'd have a suggestion for a DP oneshot: it takes place in a classroom, with only Danny and Paulina in it since they're retaking a test they failed. Unfortunately for Paulina, she still doesn't have a clue about the right answers; Danny, on the other hand, having spent a lot of time studying, knows exactly what to do and is almost done. But just as he's about to put his signature, Paulina walks up to him and sweetly asks him what he would like to do since there's still ...
So I know you sent more asks basically giving an entire outline from start to end. However, because I like more freedom when writing, I’ve decided to go with the premise of Danny and Paulina in detention together to get help for a failed test and create my own story. I encourage you to write your full idea yourself if you would like to see it! :)
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“Danny, why are you still here?” asked Sam as she shut her locker. “Lancer’s gonna be mad if you’re late for detention.”
Danny groaned. “You’re right. I’m going.”
“Good luck, dude,” said Tucker. “Text us when you’re done and we’ll meet you at Nasty Burger or something.”
Danny grumbled agreement and headed to Lancer’s classroom. Lancer gave him a dull stare from behind his desk as Danny reached the doorway.
But there was another student sitting at one of the front desks, a student who escalated Danny’s heartbeat.
“Paulina?” Danny stammered. “Am I interrupting something? Should I wait outside?”
“No, Mr. Fenton,” said Lancer. “Miss Sanchez also failed our most recent test, so I’m giving both of you some extra help.”
“Hi, Danny,” greeted Paulina, her voice sweet and sultry.
“Hi.” Danny felt stuck in the doorway but forced himself to walk into the room. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect to see you here.”
Paulina laughed. “Well, I can’t say the same about you. This is exactly where I’d expect to see you.”
Danny took a seat next to Paulina. “I don’t actually get detention that often, you know.”
“Yes, you do, Mr. Fenton,” said Lancer, turning to face the whiteboard and write notes with a fresh blue marker. “You currently hold the record for most detentions received in a semester.”
Danny blushed. Paulina giggled softly.
Lancer began drawling on about some poet who died but Danny could barely pay attention. Oh, he certainly tried, but being so close to the most beautiful girl in school was really hurting his concentration.
He stole glances at her out of the corner of his eye. And one time, he swore he could see her looking at him as well.
After lecturing for some time, Lancer assigned a few independent practice exercises from their textbook and disappeared out into the hall. Danny could hear the voice of another English teacher in the school and knew Lancer would likely be talking to her for a while.
Danny looked down at his textbook. He was supposed to answer questions about poetry devices or some other thing he still didn’t really get. He had no idea why English was such a pain in the ass. He definitely didn’t know why he had to learn all this crap about poetry, like when was that ever going to help him fight ghosts or do anything actually important?
His gaze travelled down the textbook page to his blank sheet of paper and then across and off his desk to Paulina, who was busy writing. She stopped when she caught him staring at her.
“Can I help you with something, Danny?” she asked, her tone snide but kind.
“Sorry.” Danny sucked his teeth. “So, um… You failed the test too, huh?”
Paulina breathed hard out her nose and sat back in her seat. “Yeah. I didn’t really have the time to study, you know? And I guess I didn’t realize it would be as hard as it was.”
“Didn’t have time to study?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I’m not, like, stupid.” Paulina chuckled. “I could’ve passed if I just wasn’t so busy.”
“Busy with what?” asked Danny. “Do you and the A-List hang out a lot?”
“Sure, but that’s not what keeps me busy. Cheerleading, for one. We have to practice all the time, sometimes even in the morning. And the mornings we don’t practice, I’m still getting up early to get in a run and some exercise. I’m the cheerleading captain, you know. I have to keep everyone at their best and motivated. Every day, I’m working out choreography for new routines and figuring out new fundraising ideas.”
“Don’t you have a coach for that?”
“Yeah, of course, but I still do a lot. Cheerleading isn’t just some silly girls’ activity, you know.”
“I—I didn’t say it was—”
“I have to make sure everything and everyone is ready for practice.” Paulina pulled back a finger on one hand as she listed off responsibilities. “I have to text all the girls and let them know about changes in our practice schedule or upcoming events. If any of the girls aren’t getting along, I have to try to keep the peace as much as possible so that we’re still a team. I’m also the one greeting visiting cheer squads during games, making them feel welcome at our school.”
“I didn’t know you did all that,” said Danny.
“The coach manages our time and schedule and makes sure none of the girls are failing in their classes, things like that, but I’m the one really communicating with the girls, you know?” Paulina sighed. “But I wish that was all I had going on.”
“You’re busy with other things?”
“Yeah, being as popular as I am, I’m often being asked by teachers and student clubs to do things. Advertising stuff, endorsing student council candidates, making appearances, giving fashion advice for uniforms. And I never turn anyone down, I always say yes.” Paulina leaned back and looked at the ceiling. “Sometimes I wish I could just say no.”
“Why don’t you?” asked Danny.
“Because it’s expected of me. Being popular means doing things to maintain that popularity. If I start turning people down, they’re gonna think I’m a bitch, you know?”
“But you turn guys down for dates all the time.” Danny smiled and propped his elbow on his desk. “Me being one of them.”
Paulina also smiled. “Personal things like that are okay to turn down. I mean like anything to do with the school and clubs. Of course I can’t just date every guy who asks me out. Can’t give the impression I’m easy either.”
She looked ahead at the whiteboard, her smile vanishing.
“I do get a lot of guys asking me out,” said Paulina. “I know it’s just because I’m pretty. But looking this pretty all the time is work too. I have to eat right and watch my weight and exercise and spend half an hour each night on my skin care routine and an hour each morning on my hair and makeup and then touchups throughout the day. I never know when someone might take a picture of me and send it around. I can’t risk ever looking bad.”
“You have never looked bad,” said Danny. “Like ever.”
Paulina’s smile returned. “Thank you. That’s sweet.” She groaned and stretched out her arms. “But I tell you, Danny. I probably only get three to four hours of sleep a night. I’m running on coffee and energy drinks all day long. This detention is really cutting into my time, too. I’m probably gonna be up late finishing all my other homework.”
She continued to stretch. Danny normally might’ve enjoyed watching her but he was too struck by her words.
She only got three to four hours of sleep a night?
But… That was how much sleep he usually got a night.
And yet she looked amazing every day and he knew he was just a pale haunted mess with dark eyes.
“So what about you, Danny?”
Danny blinked. “Hmm?”
“Why did you fail this test?” asked Paulina.
“Oh. Um.” Danny looked up and to the right. “I was also too busy.”
“Oh, yeah?” Paulina tossed a piece of hair over her shoulder. “You do come to class late a lot. Do you have like some sort of astronomy club meeting in the morning?”
“Astronomy club?”
“Yeah, don’t you like space and stuff?”
“Oh. Yeah! I do. But I’m not in the astronomy club.”
“Really? I would think you’d be their president.” Paulina chuckled. “Well, are you in any school clubs, then?”
Danny thought about the meetings he had with Sam, Tucker, and sometimes Jazz about their ghost-fighting strategies. “Not school clubs, no.”
“Any extracurricular activities at all? I know you don’t play any sports.”
“No…”
Paulina pursed her lips. “Well, then what is it that keeps you too busy to study?”
Danny looked off to the side, humming softly to himself.
“I often see you with Sam and Tucker after school at the Nasty Burger. Or on Saturdays at the mall.”
Danny turned back to her. “Well, yeah, we like to hang out after school to wind down. Don’t you hang out with your friends? You don’t do all that work all the time, do you?”
“Yeah, of course! I’m actually scheduled to hang out with them right after detention.”
“Scheduled?”
“Yeah. It’s important to me to make time for my friends, so I often schedule it to make sure it happens.” She tapped open her calendar on her phone and showed it to him. “I even keep Saturday nights free for possible dates, see?”
Danny stared at the empty slot under Saturday and wondered if this was a hint and if she wanted him to ask her to go out on Saturday.
But no way was he about to risk embarrassing himself by asking.
“So do the three of you do something that keeps you too busy to study?” Paulina put her phone back in her lap. “You, Sam, and Tucker, I mean.”
Danny scratched through his mind, raking for something, anything that wasn’t the truth but also maybe not a complete lie. He couldn’t let Paulina think he was just lazy and hung out with his friends eating burgers or walking around the mall all day.
“We, uh… Yeah.” Danny pretended to cough. “We help my parents out with their research.”
“Research?” Paulina scrunched her mouth. “You mean, like, ghost stuff?”
Danny nodded. “We sometimes test out their inventions.”
“That sounds kind of dangerous. Is it?” Paulina narrowed her eyes, appearing to scrutinize him. “Is that why you so often have injuries? Like that bruise by your collarbone there?”
Danny hastily tugged at his shirt collar. “Oh. You noticed that?”
“Yeah. Of course. A lot of people notice you’re often sporting some new cut or bruise.”
“Oh. Well, that’s, uh—”
“I’ve even heard some teachers say they might need to call CPS.”
Danny’s stomach flopped. “What?”
“Yeah, I hear lots of things teachers say since I’m around the whole school a lot.” Paulina shrugged. “But I’ve noticed Sam and Tucker sometimes have injuries as well. So is it from helping your parents out with their ghost research?”
“No, it’s not like that!” said Danny quickly, almost panting with the effort. “We just sometimes test out their inventions, give feedback, strategize on how to catch certain ghosts. Just stuff like that, nothing huge.”
“Ooh, catch ghosts like the ghost boy?” Paulina’s tone changed to almost a squeal. She held her hands near her chest.
“Uh.” Danny swallowed. “Well—”
“If your parents do ever catch him, you must let me know, okay?”
“I—”
“Because then I can get the A-List together so we can find a way to rescue him!”
Danny stared at her. “You’d really do that?”
“Well, of course! The ghost boy has done so much for all of us. He even saved my life once, you know! I could never just let him be captured.” Paulina lowered her voice. “Oh, but please don’t tell your parents that.”
Danny slowly nodded, holding back a smile. “Oh, sure, I would never tell them that. You have my word.”
“Here. You should have my number.” Paulina ripped off a corner of her notebook paper and scribbled some numbers on it before handing it to him. “Call or text me if they ever catch him, okay? Please?”
Danny took the piece of paper from her, feeling like he was in some sort of trance. Did this just happen? Did Paulina Sanchez, the most gorgeous girl in all of Casper High, just give him her number? To her cell phone? Like her personal cell phone?
He very carefully folded and placed the paper in his pocket. “Sure, absolutely. I’ll definitely call you if they catch him.”
She smiled and hummed, such a cute sound that made his heart flitter. But then her smile faded when her gaze travelled to his collarbone. Danny casually raised his shoulder and pulled his arm across his body to cover the bruise.
“So.” Paulina’s pretty full lips smacked. “If those injuries you keep getting aren’t from helping your parents with their inventions, then where are they from?”
Danny could feel sweat forming behind his ears.
“I mean, you’re not really that clumsy, are you?” Paulina chuckled.
Danny also chuckled, not really sure why except that she was doing it and he had no idea what else to do because he couldn’t tell her the truth and yes he was clumsy but no not that clumsy but what else could he tell her?
What would protect his parents? What would protect him?
Her expression grew warier the longer he stayed quiet.
The classroom door opened. Danny and Paulina promptly faced forward and hunched over their desks.
“Sorry I was gone so long,” said Lancer as he reclaimed his spot at the head of the room. “How are you two understanding everything?”
Paulina looked up and smiled, a secret smile Danny could tell was meant for him even though she never once glanced in his direction. “I think we’re understanding just fine, Mr. Lancer.”
Lancer looked over her notebook page and nodded his approval. Danny had no idea why he even bothered to try covering his completely blank page when Lancer came to look over his work.
“Why am I not surprised,” muttered Lancer. He knelt beside Danny’s desk with a sigh. “All right, Mr. Fenton. Let’s do this first one together to get you started.”
Behind Lancer, Danny could see Paulina flash him a smirk before returning to her own work.
He had always thought he was just busier than other students, had more responsibilities and expectations than everyone else. But he didn’t even have extracurricular activities like most students. Ghost fighting was his extracurricular activity. And somehow Paulina and everyone else still managed to do okay so why couldn’t he?
Maybe he really wasn’t that different from other kids his age after all.
Lancer was trying to talk him through something. Paulina was still wearing a small smile as she did her own work.
Danny nodded to himself and focused. He could do this. He could be like everyone else.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#paulina sanchez#pink astronaut#imekitty writes#imekitty ask#prompt writing#helled-blog
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Hshshsnansna seeing that ask got me in a HUGE HaaH mood. Like, I went through and read a bunch of asks, and I'd probably go reread the fic itself if I had time. So!! Is there anything about HaaH you've always wanted to share but never had the chance to? Headcanons, worldbuilding, backstory, hidden details- anything at all??
Oh friend… There is so much. I have a Word document that’s like 17k of JUST headcanons and world-building for this fic kghsdkjhdkfg I’m not crazy, I swear.
It took me a while to respond because I had to comb through and find stuff that wasn’t spoilery, but tada, have some Home and a Half Hunk and Shiro (and Matt) headcanons and backstory under the cut!
Also, as for hidden details… Same as the Garrison professors in the show were named for staff members, Neuhahn and Ania are named after IRL contributors to the Voltron animated series–Chris Neuhahn was a producer and Ania O’Hare was the casting director.
And here are some Hunk, Shiro, and sorta Matt headcanons/backstory that shapes their characters in HaaH. (Please note, these headcanons ignore absolutely everything from about season 6 of the actual show and on. I stopped watching Voltron after Season 6 because I just couldn’t handle the writing anymore. T_T)
Hunk:- He’s mixed ethnically, and although his parents are from Samoa, his family tree actually spans many different countries, mostly in Polynesia, including Tonga, but even places as far away as Malaysia.- His parents were converted to the LDS church by Mormon missionaries in Samoa. A few years before Hunk was born, his parents moved to Utah to be closer to the church, so Hunk has only ever been to Samoa once, on a vacation to visit family.- His first name is actually “Hyrum,” and until he met Lance at a Garrison-sponsored summer astro-camp when they were nine, everyone just called him by his real name.- Lance actually meant to call him “Incredible Hulk” at camp, butttt to nine-year-old Lance’s utter mortification, it came out “Incredible Hunk” instead. “Hunk” stuck.- He has a little sister who is even more sensitive than he is.
- Although Hunk’s parents originally agreed on the plan to move to America, after the family arrived, they experienced difficulty fitting in with the very selective Utah culture, and Hunk’s mother grew disenchanted with the church. Employment was difficult to find in their small, rural town, and Hunk’s parents both struggled with being isolated from their extended families. Tensions over whether or not to remain in America, as well as over money, led to some miserable fights that contributed to Hunk’s aversion to conflict when he was younger.
- Hunk sometimes had to play the role of family peacekeeper, working hard to make sure that his youngest sister wouldn’t notice the strain.
- Nevertheless, despite their share of troubles, the family is extremely close-knit. Hunk values his family and their opinions more than anything in any world.
- Which is how he ended up agreeing to go to Garrison, even when he really just wanted to help his parents kickstart the restaurant they were planning to open. His mother felt that working in a family restaurant, even if Hunk is a great cook, would squander his incredible academic and engineering talent (which Hunk thought of as just a hobby), so she begged him to go and continue his schooling instead. Hunk couldn’t say no to his mother, even if the thought of being shipped off into space terrified the living daylights out of him.
- Hunk doesn’t curse and is somewhat uncomfortable with people cursing, at least in front of him. Although Lance used to have a pretty colorful repertoire, when he learned that cursing made Hunk uncomfortable, he immediately adopted all of Hunk’s weird Utah replacements instead. “Holy crow” and “let’s kick some trash” are things they actually say seriously.
- Hunk is always down to cuddle and is never embarrassed by asking for or giving cuddles to anyone. He would 200% cuddle Shiro if he thought Shiro would let him. (Shiro would, in fact, let him.) Hunk’s favorite person on the team to cuddle is actually Keith, because Keith (who was taught to comply by Garrison scientists with all unexpected/unsolicited touch) will just sit obediently for hours letting Hunk hug out all his stress. Hunk knows that something is off about Keith’s behavior, but his leading theory—that Keith allows the hugs because he’s touch-starved—is unfortunately false.
- Hunk knows the lyrics to every Disney song EVER.
- And he’s like a dog with a bone when it comes to secrets. Once he discovers that someone’s keeping something under wraps, he goes a bit crazy with curiosity and cannot stop thinking about what they might be hiding. The rules of privacy go totally out the window when he gets like this, but time and again, Hunk’s adage that it’s always better to tell the truth bears itself out.
Shiro (and Matt?):
- Shiro is the only member of his immediate family whose first language was not Japanese. His grandparents on both sides immigrated to the US from Japan due to work transfers relatively late in life, when their own children, Shiro’s parents, were already young adults. As the first family child to be born in America, Shiro’s parents strongly emphasized the need to learn English well, which unfortunately resulted in Shiro being pushed away from learning Japanese when he was young. Even though he’s a capable conversationalist now, he’s struggled his whole life with regret over not learning the language when he was young and could have picked it up easier.
- There’s a running joke in his family that he’s actually an ogre in disguise, given that he is much taller than many of his other family members. Tradition demands that the first photo of every holiday gathering is a joke group shot in which Shiro’s posed so his entire head is outside the top frame of the picture.
- Shiro was mercilessly bullied as a child because of his height. The other children frequently suggested that he didn’t belong in their grade because he was too big and that the school must held him back multiple times for being dumb. (Shiro was never held back. In fact, he had excellent grades from kindergarten to the day he graduated from Garrison—and no, not because his parents forced him to study; in fact, throughout his schooling, they often ended up having to force Shiro to go to bed already instead.)
- On top of being teased for his looks, Shiro was naturally shy. He barely spoke, even to his teachers, and would stumble miserably if he was put on the spot in class, contributing further to the rumor that he was stupid.
- Shiro loved learning, but he hated everything that happened in school and didn’t have a single real friend outside of his cousins until he went off to middle school and met Matt Holt in sixth grade.
- Barely two weeks into their first middle school year, and it was already obvious that Matt was the school’s biggest nerd; he’d been bumped up two grades because of his obvious genius and was the textbook definition of an alien conspiracy theorist (It’s not a conspiracy if they’re REAL, guys!) But the strange thing was that no one bullied Matt—he was just so quick on the sarcastic (and biochemical) comebacks that teasing him wasn’t even worth it. Instead, the school’s resident assholes took it out on targets a little less likely to corrode their homework with miniature magnesium bombs—read as, they picked on polite, well-meaning Takashi Shirogane instead.
- Out of pity more than anything else, Matt finally stood up for Shiro one day and ran off the assholes. (It was not, as Mrs. Shirogane insists, with a home-made taser. It was not.) After something like that, well… You sort of feel obligated to befriend a guy, don’tcha?
- Becoming friends with Matt Holt transformed Shiro’s life. Even if Shiro wouldn’t originally speak up for himself, he was ferociously proud and supportive of his first real friend, and learning to be bold for Matt taught Shiro the value and meaning of standing up for not only others, but also himself. Being friends with someone as off-the-cuff and tricky as Matt helped Shiro grow more spontaneous, less self-conscious, and ultimately much more confident—even if, to this day, most of that confidence is still focused on helping others, rather than on being self-assured.
- It was Shiro admiration for Matt’s father, Sam Holt, that led Shiro to take his childhood obsession with military history a step further by actually joining the military. Shiro and Matt enrolled in Garrison together, although Matt was part of the research rather than the combat division.
- Matt was the one who convinced Shiro to get his hair styled in an undercut. It was originally just a dare, but Shiro ended up loving it afterward. The “Undercut Incident,” as it has come to be known in the Shirogane family, was the official straw that broke the camel’s back and resulted in Mrs. Shirogane declaring Matt Holt a “bad influence,” the only impact of which was that Matt had to sneak in through Shiro’s bedroom window instead of coming to the front door when he wanted to hang out.
- Shiro has received two separate Medals of Honor for making dangerous supply deliveries to war-torn countries across the globe, delivering the vital food and medicine that helped save hundreds of lives. He has also been part of several missions to save stranded astronauts from failing international space stations.
- Shiro is actually a giant memelord, but his crushing sense of responsibility keeps him from indulging in quality shitposting in front of anyone he actually knows. He had a ridiculously active secret Vine account before leaving on the Kerberos mission. His snaps are legendary. Deep down, Shiro dreads the inevitable day someone connects him with his cringey social media accounts.
- Literally the worst at adulting. His mom still filled out his tax forms for him and booked his dentist appointments. He has no idea what the hell he’s doing leading Team Voltron when he can’t even remember which of his clothes are machine-washable and which aren’t.
- When they were in their third year at Garrison, Matt conned Shiro into volunteering as a camp counselor for Garrison’s summer astrocamp program, even though Shiro had minimal understanding of how to take care of children and mostly just BS’d his way through, hoping that none of his campers had anything close to a serious issue.
- He won “best camp counselor” the very first year he volunteered. Mostly because Lance cheated and voted for him 23 times, but still.
#Home and a Half#HaaHVLD#voltron headcanons#Hunk headcanons#Shiro headcanons#Matt headcanons#I guess lol#matt holt#hunk voltron#takashi shirogane#Voltron
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