#Undying Belief in Oneself

[wickedzeevyln]

Organic

Greatness is packaged with doubters and haters. The byproducts of which is emulated and deduced into shortcuts. Before the opera, the masterpiece, the grace, and the glory, people come upon crossroads where vantage points overlooking their destinies wave at them. “That’s who I want to be.” For the first time, a ball, a pair of dancing shoes, a book, a movie, and a dream is picked up. On the…

[talisidekick]

LMAO. Okay, to anyone who see's this. Take a deep breath, and read this:

Autogynephilia isn't real. It was a theory proposed by a transphobe and studied without a control group (ie, only focussed on transgender women and not a thought given to their cisgender counter parts). When the same theory was studied in cisgender women, the results were near identical. Like a decimal point different in percentage.

Cisgender and Transgender women get aroused thinking about themselves being sexy. It's completely normal if you have a working sex-drive. Anyone saying a cisgender woman doesn't look at herself in an attractive outfit and have sexual thoughts is lying. Additionally: remember that if you're on HRT for less than 9 years at a cisgender womans horomonal range (5-8 mg estradiol), you're going through puberty. Sexy thoughts are a part of that. Women aren't sex-drive or arousal deprived until they see someones dick or pussy. My friend group, prior to transition was mostly cisgender women and I heard jeans and a V-neck t-shirt described as "fuckable" attire for going out and which bra's and undies were worn because sometimes you just need to feel "sexy in a fuckable way". Don't go believing this bullshit term. It applies to cisgender women as much as it does transgender women.

If you look at the study and go "holy crap this is me", congrats on having the same sexual tendancies and drives as cisgender women. You're a woman.

Go have fun being sexy and wearing the things that make you happy and ignore this transphobic bullshit term drivel. Anyone bringing this up just wants to force you into being cisgender to fit their ideological nuclear family beliefs. Go be happy.

Twitter link

This explains why a lot of transwomen (not all) like to dress as immodest women.

[rk099]

Rustic Realms: Exploring Nature's Vintage Charm

In a world captivated by modernity, the allure of rustic realms beckons those seeking solace in the embrace of nature's timeless charm. Venture with us into the heart of these serene landscapes, where the essence of a bygone era melds seamlessly with the tranquility of the present.

Embracing Nature's Palette:

Rustic realms paint their own canvas with hues borrowed from the earth itself. Rich browns, muted greens, and weathered grays intermingle to create a palette that whispers tales of a simpler time. Whether it's the age-old bark of a majestic oak or the moss-covered stones lining a winding path, every element exudes a vintage charm that transcends the fleeting trends of the modern world.

Architectural Poetry in Wood and Stone:

Dwellings in rustic realms stand as architectural epitaphs to craftsmanship and simplicity. Timber cabins weathered by time, their gnarled wooden beams telling tales of resilience, coexist harmoniously with stone cottages bearing witness to centuries gone by. The architecture here is a testament to the belief that true beauty lies in the authentic, the imperfect, and the enduring.

Whispers of the Past:

As you stroll through these rustic realms, the breeze carries with it the whispers of the past. Ancient trees, standing sentinel for generations, share the tales of their growth and the changing seasons they've witnessed. The rustle of leaves underfoot and the distant call of a lone bird become the background music to a symphony composed by time itself.

Artisanal Treasures:

Hidden within the nooks and crannies of rustic realms are artisanal treasures waiting to be discovered. Local craftspeople, inspired by the land they call home, create masterpieces that reflect the authenticity of their surroundings. From hand-carved wooden sculptures to intricately woven textiles, each piece narrates a story deeply rooted in the soil from which it springs.

The Timeless Elegance of Simplicity:

In rustic realms, less is undeniably more. The elegance of simplicity reigns supreme, reminding us that opulence is not a prerequisite for beauty. A weathered wooden bench beneath the shade of an ancient tree, a humble stone bridge crossing a babbling brook – these unassuming elements become the focal points of a landscape that embraces the grace of understatement.

A Journey into Self-Discovery:

Beyond the visual spectacle, rustic realms offer a journey into self-discovery. Stripped of the distractions of modern life, one can find solace in the simplicity of existence. Whether it's the rhythmic flow of a meandering river or the stillness of a forest untouched by time, these realms provide a sanctuary for introspection and connection with the essence of life.

In conclusion, to explore rustic realms is to step back in time and immerse oneself in the undying allure of nature's vintage charm. It's a journey where every rustle of leaves, every creak of aged wood, and every breath of fresh air becomes a reminder that, in the midst of our fast-paced world, the timeless beauty of simplicity awaits those willing to seek it out.

[hunchounlimited]

🐍 Embracing the Mamba Mentality 🏀

Today, I want to take a moment to honor and remember the one who truly embodied the essence of greatness, the late Kobe Bryant. His relentless pursuit of excellence and unwavering dedication continue to inspire me every day. 🙏🏼💜💛

Kobe's work ethic was unparalleled, reaching a level that pushed the boundaries of what we thought was humanly possible. He showed us that success isn't just about talent, but about the unyielding desire to constantly improve, pushing ourselves to new heights. 🚀

His "Mamba Mentality" was a mindset that transcended the basketball court. It represented the tenacity to overcome obstacles, the resilience to bounce back from failures, and the unwavering belief in oneself. Kobe taught us that it's not enough to dream big; we must be willing to put in the countless hours of hard work, sacrifice, and sweat to turn those dreams into reality. 💪🏼💯

Whenever I find myself facing challenges or feeling discouraged, I channel my inner Mamba. I remind myself that success isn't given, it's earned through an unwavering commitment to the process. Kobe's legacy serves as a constant reminder that I have the power within me to achieve greatness, no matter the odds stacked against me. ⚡️🔥

So let's honor the Black Mamba by embracing his extraordinary work ethic, his undying passion, and his relentless pursuit of greatness. Let's commit ourselves to go above and beyond, to push ourselves to new limits, and to never settle for anything less than our absolute best. 🌟

Rest in power, Kobe Bryant. Your Mamba Mentality will forever ignite the flames of inspiration within us. 🙌🏼💜💛

#MambaMentality#KobeBryant#LegendsNeverDie#Inspiration#HardWorkPaysOff#Dedication#BlackMamba#ForeverInOurHearts

[biinaberry]

That someone is me, hi hello, I’d like to know details about Tunble Town culture

Tumble Town deals with the theme of death and the balance between bringing and avoiding. All info told is the info Jimmy was able to uncover through books and those who visited/lived in tumble town for a good while

Their national animal is the bull and canary, with the canary sitting on the bull's head. The story goes that a bull was traveling through the mesa during a sandstorm. The sand nearly blinds the creature but it still travels in search of safety. During its travel it hears the song of a canary and follows its trail before standing in front of the bird. The canary sings that it will guide the bull out of the storm if he carried him on his head, for his wings were damaged in the storm. The bull questions him before accepting that the idea of help is better than no help and scoops the bird onto its head. With their combined efforts there were able to escape the storm. The canary then gains the name of Guider while the bull is named Bringer as the two become extensions of death, for she saw that both would die without the efforts of the other.

It is this story that holds the basis for other aspects of their culture

This story sparked the belief that couldn't death be tricked? If the bull is nearly blind then if we can trick the bull, no matter what the canary says, it will attack the wrong person. And thus the belief in dolls.

The story goes that a mother, grieving her child, wanted to make something to honor him. Using the palo trees that grew around the town, she carved herself a doll. She places it on a mantel along side his childhood toys so she would always remember him. Worrying that death would strike again she made a doll of her daughter as well, and gifted it to her. A month passes and the bull returns again, canary guiding its mind. It follows the daughter until she turns around and spots the creature and begins to run. In her hand she held the doll her mother made but in a panic, drops it. The bull then began to target the doll, daughter then escapes the creatures grasp. From her first hand account of the events the belief was spread that by creating dolls of oneself it would bring a person a second chance at life, a man made totem of undying. However only those made from the palo trees ever worked and thus was labeled as the town's national tree. Becoming sacred in the process. It became a tradition that once someone turns old enough they will be given a doll in their likeness as a form of protection from death.

This is also the reason why jimmy does not remember that he is a demigod since he is the son of death the palo wood has the same effect on him as the bull. So after his parents disappeared his memory went with them because his mind forced him to believe he is human.

This belief in dolls also transcended during times of war, but with a different applications. Dolls are passed through the generations and are heavily cherished. During war, if tumble town knows they are unable to defend themself, they will place these dolls all over the town. They believe the dead will posses their dolls. If the living cannot fight then the dead will fight for them.

On the other side of the duoship, canaries became a religious/sacred symbol. It is not uncommon to enter tumble town and see it absolutely covered in canaries because it is a law to not hurt them the only exception is if you are the sheriff. They are tumble town's form of pigeon. Citizens often take care of the birds because it is believed that any canary can speak with the Guider of Death. So if they treat one canary badly that bird will tell the Guider to come and kill them.

The reason the Sheriff is the exception is because they are able to tap into the canary's ability to see the future. The ritual goes that the sheriff will call to the birds with one hand out and wait for a canary to land in their palm. At that point they will sing to the canary until it falls asleep, and only when it is asleep, will the Sheriff snap the bird's neck. The sheriff will then be given a vision of death and the vision will almost always happen. Only 10 times has the vision been wrong in some form. However, as a consequence for killing the canary, the event that the Sheriff witnesses will now happen at a sooner date then originally. Since the Guider of Death is now aware of the Sheriff's actions.

This ritual was originally lost and death is the one who actually wrote it down for jimmy to find later.

[cedriiii]

Might be a bit late but i have some takes, mostly Corruption servant Korekiyo propaganda, under the cut

Corruption most encapsulates themes of obsessive devotion, unhealthy attachment and codependency, central to Korekiyo's character. Dependence on his sister is what dooms him, but he welcomes being consumed by it.

Moreover, his arc heavily features being enamored with macabre and taboo topics, and being fascinated with concepts that are considered repulsive in the eyes of others - another corruption adjacent theme.

Being consumed/becoming one with the thing you love being the whole theme of corruption is very close to how he feels about the world, as Korekiyo considers love one of the most important - if not the most important - things in his life, the fact that it's something that is taking over all aspects of his life negatively is part of the appeal. According to him, love is something cultivated inside oneself, which almost invokes a parasitic theme. Cultivating something that feeds off of you inside, because you love it, because you are one with it. He also literally "becomes his sister" in certain ways, changing the way he looks to represent aspects of her, believing she posesses his body and all.

Themes of cleanliness and hospitals are featured in his storyline because his sister died of an illness and he probably spent most of his childhood in medical environments. Him wearing a mask also adds to this visually, even though it's purpose is practical/cosmetic rather that medical, but who knows. Terminal illnesses relate to the End more than the Corruption, probably.

He is an academic and an observer, however his studies don't really relate to the Eye's knowledge for knowledge's sake ways and undying curiosity, in my opinion. It's more of an all-consuming interest, once again based on love, on finding meaning through experiencing the "beauty of humanity" in all of its aspects. So i attribute it more to the Corruption than anything else as well.

A close second would probably be the End, since a special interest of his inside the overall studying humanity thing is topics related to death, coping with mortality, and what lies beyond the realm of the living. Korekiyo is well-versed in the occult, believes in the afterlife, has practiced spiritual seanses to speak with the dead (and necromancy, if you count a throwaway line from Danganronpa S). I don't know whether his beliefs on death might be contradictory the "everything will end and cease to exist an a meaningful way" aspect of the End, because all of his efforts are actually aimed at preserving someone that died and believing in the eternity of the afterlife rather than accepting that someone central to his life can just cease to exist.

The Slaughter also might be fitting, because of the cerial murder and the military aesthetic, but it fits only if he is an unwilling servant, unlike the other two mentioned before. The Slaughter stands for violence with no meaning or lost meaning, unpredictable, unmotivated, just happening for nothing. Korekiyo's murders fit a very clear structure and criteria (so not quite unpredictable) and there is a clear motive behind it that he doesn't seem to stray from. It also lacks an "endless" quality, because he had a number of people to kill in mind, a number that he didn't seem to want to go over. He is a murderer not because he finds a purpose through violence but because he's making sacrifices to something he considers important and meaningful.

I can see him slipping into the Slaughter unwillingly and without realising it, however, because his "motive" is ultimately a delusion, and the purpose is overshadowed by violence that he inflicts. Is there a point where the weight of the "sacrifice" overshadows the motivation, rendering it meaningless? If he reaches that point he might be considered a Slaughter servant without realising it.

[POLL WITH REST OF THE FEARS HERE]

[whatudottu]

So, some time ago, I made a post about something something TFP Rewrite AU. Now, I’m not the greatest at putting ideas into one cohesive story- not without ripping on the original structure.

But recently I had an idea!

There’s a lot of context going into this idea, but bare with me. It will be the basis of other TFP Rewrite adjacent stuff that I may or may not share if i even have more ideas for it, and the main context that applies to general events is Megatron himself and his descent into a Dark Energon induced spiral into incompetency.

Something something books that I haven’t read, apparently in the aligned continuity Megan had already found AND used DE to essentially kill Primus and Cybertron with him, but in the show it’s written as if it’s this mystical element that no one believed ever existed. For this little uh... split in the timeline, Dark Energon was discovered in TFP and TFP alone.

Another interesting tidbit about Megatron, the books seem to paint the Decepticons as the ones in the right, the ones who rebel against a system that had no qualms about letting them die and scavenge the parts of their dead nameless brethren; the Autobots were the upper class so devotely against the Decepticon’s mere existance and the middle class that saw their justified violence as ‘taking it too far’. Now I’m not going to turn Megan into the greatest mech alive, who is actually the good guy dude just trust me, but I’m upping his competence pre-DE.

So essentially, before any event involving Earth in some way is mentioned, Megatron is now a frighteningly powerful and proficient leader, but is inordinately violent to the point of turning his blade on his own crew. In the war - book era - the quality of his leadership outweighed the backlash of his gladiatorial upbringing, and it was the sway of his words and the purpose behind them that further grew the Decepticon forces.

Now, with the Dark Energon in his possession, Megatron’s mind slowly begins to degrade. At first, everything seemed relatively okay, questions being asked about the discovery, on-board scientists and automobile enthusiasts were keen to learn more. But Megatron went on his journey to find more Decepticon soldiers, more forged mecha that fought under the banner of the Decepticon brand.

And that’s were it truly began to go downhill.

Megatron spoke of the Decepticon forces as dead mecha walking, and that the upper class and ESPECIALLY the council would have continued to ensure that became true, but what if they gave them that honour. Megatron announcing his plan to turn the dead into loyal Decepticon forces, undying in their regeneration and the will to choose for oneself who to be again, a second chance. And then began the idea that if the Decepticons were so fated to die at the hands of the Autobots, that they shall never give them the pleasure, and take away their mortal fear of death.

Needless to say it wasn’t a very popular belief.

And ever since Megan took it upon himself to embrace the Dark Energon - the rumoured blood of Unicron himself - into his very spark, the grand intelligence and brilliant command began to gradually grow outmatched by his vehement aggression. Plus, with the Autobots trapped on Earth on the evasive, Megatron could not turn that intense rage onto the battlefield, but harder onto the failings of the Decepticons.

Most folk are blind to the weakening cost-benefit relationship that is Megan’s leadership, mostly because they aren’t directly affected by it. Vehicons are already cannon fodder, they’ve accepted as such eons ago, so any increase in internal violence just hastens the inevitable if they’re even targetted in the first place. Soundwave was already the primary intelligence officer, and though he definitely notices the shift, his loyalty leads him to handle more of the thinking than he did before.

Oh, but Starscream notices, Starscream doesn’t need to open his eyes to notice. He, the medical staff (only really Knock Out and Breakdown) and any technician, maintenance worker and the occasional vehicon stationed at the bridge notice more and more of the failings of Megatron’s mental stablity.

Starscream’s plots to take over the Decepticons begin more and more frequently, and though his popularity in the ranks doesn’t increase at first, it is Megan’s standing in the eyes of his troops that takes a fall before any opinions can rise.

Yada yada overall the Decepticons grow sick and tired of Megatron’s bullshit, something something blind loyalty tries to get Megatron the help he needs, and finally certain ‘Cons begin to think their temporary rule under Starscream’s 6 year occupation doesn’t seem all too bad. No one died, not from their leader and certainly not from the Autobots. Mining had next to no incidents, save for mining exclusive accidents. And Starscream was well suited to keeping their activities a secret from both the Autobots AND the humans living on the planet.

But that’s certainly a thought of the most exhausted mecha, of the bots that will surely be slain for having that idea, for sympathising for the traitorous slagpile that is Starscream.

This could lead to some form of Autobot Starscream AU, but I think ever since I watched Cyberverse, I think that something along the lines of ‘Reformed-Decepticons-now-under-the-command-of-Starscream-by-elective-means-end-the-war-in-a-truce-and-soon-a-peace-treaty-in-efforts-to-restore-cybertron-to-the-world-that-it-was-meant-to-be’ AU/Pathway of this specific Rewrite AU-

Of course I don’t want it to be exactly Cyberverse, I only thought about it like that as soon as I began writing this section. But, maybe I’m just being a Decepticon sympathiser and am too swayed by the words of pre-DE Megatron, but I like when there are two sides of the war and neither are the good guy nor the bad guy.

I want some focking NUANCE in this bitch alright!

Anyhow I hope you liked this idea- there’s probably more on the way, I might’ve thought of some while writing this lmao-!

[meetmeatthecoda]

I rarely write fanfics (well, write them down and publish, anyway) but I do like to imagine 'what if' scenarios every once in a while.

And one of my favorite (because I'm an angst-with-happy-ending whore, yes) scenarios to imagine are the various AUs of the aftermath of Liz's fake death as in: her getting a word of how badly it affected Red/how poorly he'd been coping with it or finding out through Mr Kaplan that he got hurt (either intentionally or because he just grew too reckless after her 'death', after his light and one of the few major reasons he's still living was torn away from him, throwing himself in dangerous situations headfirst heedless of consequences for himself) and realizing (as Liz always does when Red gets hurt/is in danger) her true feelings for him, coming to her senses, taking Agnes, dumping Tom and racing back to DC, to her ray of light and (#agnesgateforever) the father of her child.

Perhaps, I just wish for Liz, for once, to realize not only what she's feeling for Red but also what he's feeling for her and how much her irrational, oftentimes selfish and sometimes cruel actions and words hurt him and how her fake death nearly destroyed him because she clearly didn't really get it.

Omg, ANON!! 😭😭😭 I think we are the same person, bc I imagine this particular "what-if" scenario all the timeee 😭 Angst-with-a-happy-ending whores ftw ✌️😂 Seriously though, the AU you described is one of my greatest wishes in life, I swear, the trope of grief-stricken-lover-throwing-oneself-into-danger-heedless-of-possible-death-bc-the-love-of-their-life-has-(fake)-died?? Is one of my all time favs. (It actually brings this song to mind, aka middle-school!Coda's go-to, angsty, OTP jam. 10/10, highly recommend.) But hell yes, Liz getting a sorely-needed reality check through an intermediary of some sort, clearly displaying the depth & strength of Red's undying love for her, when - as far as Red knows - she's dead & he can't possibly have any ulterior motive for displaying affection for her, thereby the realization of a lifetime finally hitting her upside the head & sending her rushing to reunite Agnes & her rightful father?? Yes. Yeah, yup, Y.E.S. That's the stuff. And tbh, Liz realizing that her actions & words affect him like, 4 seasons ago? That would have been... ideal 😒 PSA to Liz: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, RED IS A HUMAN WITH FEELINGS & THEY ARE ALL (ALL) FOR YOU!!! So yeah, I'm not sure what else to say to this ask other than YES & I wholeheartedly agree with you, dear anon!! Thank you so much for sending this relatable thing my way, I appreciate it!! Much love to you, of course!! ❤️

[vancilocs]

Are shyn and hafza friends? If yea then half and half with them and kazim and falco hehee

sure they are, hot bitches causing trouble

1. What is their relationship to each other?

Close friends

2. How did they first encounter each other? What did they first think about each other?

At the club Shyn frequents (Supernova), have some drinks, meet an interesting looking girl, very soon find out you both have a habit of beating up people who harm others

3. What is their relationship like now?

They're close and they're confidantes, able to talk about anything and everything

4. What will their relationship be like in the future?

They will remain friends and get even closer, Hafza's perspective on having parents with an unusual relationship helped Shyn with her own thoughts on parenting and having two partners

5. What traits does each person find endearing in the other?

Both are determined and strong-willed, Hafza finds Shyn very funny and Shyn likes Hafza's headstrong but calm demeanor, she finds her reliable and wise while Hafza thinks Shyn is spontaneous and wild

6. Which traits does each person find annoying in the other?

Sometimes Shyn's wildness comes off as irresponsibility to Hafza, please be careful you have a whole ass kid later on. Shyn in turn sometimes thinks Hafza's a party pooper

7. How often do they see each other? How often do they talk to each other?

Pretty often, they frequent the same areas and know each others' hangouts, they text a bit more often than they see each other

8. Could they live together easily? Why/why not?

Pretty easily, both are laid back and usually spend a lot of time outside their apartments anyways

9. How much physical contact would these characters have with each other?

Shyn is quite cuddly, Hafza less so, but hugs are common enough and when having serious conversations Hafza tends to place her hand on Shyn's arm while Shyn will outright hold her hands

10. What would they get for each other as birthday gifts?

Booze, candy, face/body/hand creams, cute socks or undies, bullets, a new knife, girly stuff like that

11. What hobbies do they share, if any?

Vigilantism, more or less

12. Do either of them have any hobbies or interests which annoy the other?

Not really, they jive well

13. Do any of their beliefs (religious, moral, or otherwise) differ? Do they conflict strongly?

Nah, they live by simple morals (RESPECT WOMEN OR DIE) and agree on thems things

14. Who is the better cook? Who is better at general household tasks?

Shyn will end up being the better one because of baby, but both sustain themselves on takeout pretty much (and Hafza grew up on truck/gas stop meals anyways)

15. Which of them is more adventurous? Is the other adventurous enough to go along with them?

Shyn is more adventurous in her abandoned mansion shenanigans, Hafza would come along sometimes but not often

16. Would they go on holiday together, and where would they go?

A big city anywhere, with clubs and discos and places to have fun

-----------

17. When one is feeling down, how does the other respond?

Do anything to make it better honestly, have some time off man it's fine go spend time with your family let's go for a walk let's talk what's up

18. If one was in a difficult life situation, what would the other do for them?

Falco half-forced Kazim to take some time off when his daughter died, despite having no idea how to lead despite it being his duty as the captain

19. Has one ever had to stop the other from making a very foolish decision? And did the other listen to them?

Kazim had done his dumbest things before they met, he does listen to Falco in everything and values his opinion above all else but he didn't have to intervene in anything

20. Has one ever strongly encouraged the other to make a big decision? Did they go through with it?

Falco was a big influence alongside Junayd in getting Kazim to talk to Baseema

21. How would one feel about the other being in love (with them or with someone else)?

Best keep any fond feelings to oneself. A bit of a relief for Falco actually to have Kazim love someone else, slightly less torturous that way (and his wife is a wonderful, wonderful woman)

22. Are there any other people who are a part of both their lives, e.g. friends or family members they share?

Pretty much all of the barracks, especially Adalric are close with them both.

23. How does each person feel about the other person’s family members and close friends? Do they get along with them?

While Falco sees Kazim as a friend, he'll always see Junayd as commander so they're not as close but they do get along. Otherwise their families have also grown very close even if Aqila doesn't appreciate Kazim much. Falco was an uncle to Kazim's kids, too.

24. Do either of them get jealous over relationships the other one has with friends/family/romantic partners/other people?

Falco loves Baseema like a sister and a friend but sometimes it hurts so bad. he's fine

25. Is either person jealous of the other’s wealth or possessions?

No, Falco may have grown up poor but he doesn't let that hinder him as Kazim has never made it a thing

26. If the pair of them had to look after a young child or pet, what would happen?

They'd do fantastic with either

27. How far would each go to protect the other?

Straight-up die, no question

28. Is there anyone else that each person would protect over the other, if they had to make a choice?

Kazim would pick his wife and kids first, while Falco would pick his sister and her family (the other would 100% be behind this decision)

29. If one died, how would the other respond? What would happen to them afterwards?

Kazim cried and threw up and then went on a murder spree

30. How far would each person follow the other? Would they trust them enough to commit crime because the other asked them to?

Falco committed identity fraud and theft for Kazim but that's about it

31. If one wronged the other badly, would the other forgive them easily?

They trust and love each other so much I think that if that was broken I don't think there's anything strong enough to fix it

32. Is there a song or music piece that makes you think of their relationship?

yeet

[flowcrsoul]

CONCERNING TAOISM, BUDDHISM, AND CULTIVATION (OF HUMANS AND OTHERWISE)   -   The Context of Xianxia in 3 Parts, with your local Chinese Mun.

THE THEORY OF CULTIVATION

To understand how cultivation works in the Xianxia Genre, first we have to understand what it is. So - WHAT IS CULTIVATION?   Cultivation is the focused study of the values of Buddhism and Taoism (in conjunction usually to a study of martial arts or magic, in Xianxia).   The path of cultivation is theoretically available to anyone and anything:   humans, animals, plants, and even inanimate objects.   Whether or not you are able to cultivate is all related to your “fate” with it.    The end goal of cultivation, depending on how you look at it, can mean different things.    Physically, it’s to become “immortal,” undying, capable of wielding magic, stronger than an uncultivated being, etc.     Spiritually, it is to achieve a state of inner peace with your surroundings, yourself, mortality, and to become the best and happiest version of yourself.  

A big portion of Buddhism is the concept of "emptiness" - that dust returns to dust and ashes returns to ashes and all the pleasures and sufferings of life end in death.   The spiritual point of cultivation is to realize this emptiness, and realize that holding on to negative things or impossible things or sufferings of the past, to let these things become an obsession, is ultimately pointless, and to let go of such things, forgive other and yourself, and live unburdened by them. 

USER’S GUIDE TO CULTIVATION IN XIANXIA: how it works, how you get it, how you lose it, etc., sorted by starting species.

FOR HUMANS   :   Usually, a human begins their cultivation path by being taken in by a master. That can be someone out of a Taoist sect, a traveling Taoist, a monk, etc.   That human is then taught the principles of Buddhism / Taoism, usually accompanied by a study of magic, applied usually to martial arts/healing/etc.   As a human, one gains cultivation through study.   One loses cultivation if it is expended (usually to cast/re-enforce a spell, to heal oneself, etc.) or if one is injured severely.   The remedies for this, depending on how severe it is can be: someone giving their cultivation to you (another person, a god, etc.), or you can shut yourself up in a room for a few months doing nothing but studying to gain back the cultivation you lost. 

Some people cultivate until they become immortals. Others do not. The status of human-turned immortals in the Realm of the Gods depends on the particular Xianxia World.

FOR ANIMALS/PLANTS/OBJECTS   :   An animal/plant/object first begins their cultivation path by absorbing the energy (qi, if you will) of the universe.   This gives them a sentience, if you will, to beginning their comprehension/study of Buddhism and Taoism.   Their cultivation is usually self studied. That is, they have no master.   They eventually cultivate to humanoid form, whereupon they can usually pass for being human.   They can gain cultivation through study as well as consumption of special items - magic pills, items with great spiritual energy, human souls, etc.   They can lose cultivation by expending it or becoming injured.   

If spirits become malevolent (they harm people, etc.), their cultivation is wasted and they become demons. If spirits continue on their cultivation path, they become immortals as well.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SPIRITS, DEMONS, IMMORTALS, AND GODS   :   the good, the bad, and how to distinguish what a being is at any point in their cultivation. 

SPIRITS (精, jing)   :   Specifically applicable to animals, plants, and objects that have begun their cultivation journey and have thus gained sentience.   Spirits are basically what we refer to as non-human cultivators.

DEMONS (妖，yao )   :   Malevolent spirits - spirits that bolster their own cultivation through devouring mortal souls, spirits that kill or harm mortals for their own gain or just because they can, or abuse/use their powers for bad things. Historically, “yao” and “jing” are not separated - they, together, for the one word. However, yaojing are not always malevolent, and therefore I have made the distinction here for easy understanding.

IMMORTALS (仙, xian)   :   The basic celestial being. Can be cultivated or born immortal. This is waht is considered the “goal” of cultivation for both humans and spirits. In most Xianxia, based off Taoist beliefs, all cultivated immortals are assigned a job/role/something to oversee at the Palace of the Eastern Lord by Donghua Dijun (sometimes known as Dong Wang Gong or Dong Jun, the creator of Taoism). Born immortals likely already have a position that they take over or do within their realm/from their family. 

Note: there are 4-5 brackets within the immortal bracket itself in Taoist scripture (but I’m not going to get into specifics because Xianxia doesn’t usually go that specific either).

GODS (神，shen)   :   Born gods, not necessarily from a womb either.   They can be born of the universe (the ancient gods such as Nuwa or Shen Nong, etc., or in case of a Xianxia-Universe-Born God, Donghua Dijun or Zuti from Tang Qi’s series). Can sometimes be based off real deities from scripture.   Depending on the rules of the Xianxia world, immortals can become High Gods through years of cultivation, training, and trials from the universe, including stints to the mortal realm and lightnings.

[kieren-fucking-walker]

DGHDA Enneagram - Todd Brotzman (Part 1)

(Part 2 - Link to be added - Coming Soon)

(Dirk / Farah / Amanda - Links to be added - Coming soon)

Type 6: The Loyal Skeptic 

Song (From Sleeping at Last’s Enneagram Project): Atlas: Six

“I want to take shelter but I'm ready, ready to fight

And somewhere in the middle I feel a little paralyzed

But maybe I’m stronger than I realise.”

Basic Fear: Being abandoned, left without support and the comfort of structure in their lives, all of their anxieties and fears coming true. 

Basic Desire: To have security, to feel supported by others, to have certainty and reassurance, to fight against anxiety and insecurity. 

Defense mechanism: Projection – attributing inner concerns and fears to others and external situations, projection is a way of attributing to others what one can't accept in oneself, both positive and negative qualities.

Sixes use projection to avoid personal rejection and maintain a self-image of being loyal. To assure safety and justify loyalty, they project positive feelings onto a relationship or an external authority figure. To explain internal feelings of fear and distrust, Sixes project negative feelings onto others, and then look for evidence to support these projections. 

Type Six Overview: The core of the type Six personality is anxiety. Caught between a desire to both trust, in order to gain stability and security, and distrust, in order to prevent the stability and security they’ve already gained from being taken away, the type Six personality is grounded in a sort of "defensive suspiciousness." Sixes don't trust easily; they are often ambivalent about others, until the person has absolutely proven themself, at which point they are likely to respond with steadfast loyalty.  They will defend their community or family more tenaciously than they will defend themselves.

A type Six can easily become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion.

In order to gain some semblance of stability, Sixes will attempt to build a network of trust over a background of unsteadiness and fear. They are often filled with a nameless anxiety and then try to find or create reasons why. Because “belief” (trust, faith, convictions, positions) is difficult for Sixes to achieve, and because it is so important to their sense of stability, once they establish a trustworthy belief, they do not easily question it, and they don’t hold up to others challenging it well. The same is true for individuals: once Sixes feel they can trust someone, they go to great lengths to maintain connections with the person, who often acts as a regulator for the Six’s emotional reactions and behaviour. They will do everything in their power to keep their affiliations going. Sixes do not trust themselves, and so will strive to find and hold onto something they can trust. 

Because Sixes can be so reactive, no matter what we say about them, the opposite is often also true. They are both strong and weak, fearful and courageous, trusting and distrusting, defenders and provokers, sweet and sour, aggressive and passive, on the defensive and on the offensive, thinkers and doers, group people and soloists, believers and doubters, cooperative and obstructionistic, tender and mean, generous and petty—and on and on. Sixes often paint a contradictory picture due to the fact that they are a bundle of opposites.

Problems for Sixes: Sixes oppose everything, at least at first, and get distrustful and suspicious of new things easily. They will argue to oppose something before they even try it. Others tend to feel Sixes are too anxiety ridden, worry too much, and make themselves (and everyone else!) crazy raising every question and objection before trying anything

To compensate for insecurities, they become sarcastic and belligerent, blaming others for their problems, taking a tough stance toward "outsiders." Highly reactive and defensive, dividing people into friends and enemies, while looking for threats to their own security. Authoritarian while fearful of authority, highly suspicious, yet, conspiratorial, and fear-instilling to silence their own fears.

When they fear that they have ruined their security, they become panicky, volatile, and self-disparaging with acute inferiority feelings. Seeing themselves as defenseless, they seek out a stronger authority or belief to resolve all problems. Highly divisive, disparaging and berating others

The biggest problem for Sixes is that they try to build safety in the environment without resolving their own emotional insecurities. When they learn to face their anxieties, however, Sixes understand that although the world is always changing and is, by nature uncertain, they can be serene and courageous in any circumstance. And then they can attain a sense of peace with themselves despite the uncertainties of life.

Things Sixes need to hear: You tend to get edgy and testy when you are upset or angry, and can even turn on others and blame them for things you have done or brought on yourself. Be aware of your pessimism: it causes you dark moods and negative thought patterns that you tend to project on reality. When you succumb to this self-doubt, you can become your own worst enemy and may harm yourself more than anyone else does.

Others probably think better of you than you realize, and few people are really out to get you. In fact, your fears tell you more about your attitudes toward others than they indicate about others' attitudes toward you.

What you may not expect from a Six: They can be warm, and unpredictably playful. Needing to feel needed, striving to create a sense of stability and structure, Sixes will often take on a caring, even home-making role, whether they mean to or not. They enjoy being practical, and when their anxieties are at rest they can be excellent troubleshooters, foreseeing problems and fostering cooperation, far more willing to champion others than you may initially expect. 

Enneagram Types also considered for Todd: Two - The Helper

Part 2 will look more at the relationship of this type to Todd's Character.

Information taken from a number of sites and textbooks - Mainly focused on The Enneagram Institute. For more about the Enneagram - Click here

If you’d like to hear more about my reasoning for this type allocation (believe me, it took a long time, lots of study, and he was a relatively easy fit all things considered), my love of Psychology in both study and practice, why I favour the Enneagram, why I’m applying this to fictional characters at all, or my undying love for Todd Brotzman, just hit me up!

[gardenmisses]

Journal 09/06/2022

Do you think of relationships as something you earn for being “good enough” or something you develop when you’re strong enough to open your heart?

Both, I do believe you earn it from being good enough. This is something I haven’t noted in my thoughts, but definitely in my actions and approach to dating. For example, I held (still hold) the belief that I cant be in a relationship when I am unemployed, because I cannot show up financially and I can’t keep up with my physical up keep, so hair, nails etc. Also, I have this belief that I need to be smart all the time, and have things going for me, so uhm... a substantial amount of money, ambition, hobbies, goals, interests, a rich social life, health, good looks, and excelling at all. I just realised that being strong enough to open your heart, is a thing. I had never really thought about it till now.

What does love mean to you?

It’s a safe space, of non judgement, understanding, trust and empathy. It is warm, caring, affectionate, honest, kind, patient and generous (doesn’t wait for reciprocity). It is devoted to enriching my spirituality or individuality (essentially me). It is curious and interested in who I really am, and mindful of what makes me better and what would make my life experience richer. It takes responsibility and accountability for itself in my life. 

It’s not necessarily a good feeling or a comfortable one (all the time) but it’s a rich and whole feeling that I can rest upon, and lean on. One that I can trust to be good and comfortable for my betterment.

How could you get those things in your life if not through company and proclamation of undying intimacy from someone you probably don’t even know yet?

How do you not judge yourself? 

understanding and empathizing: this can be cultivated through curiosity and fascination about the things that frustrate me, about myself. Like the journaling that I am doing, taking note of what it is that I do like and accepting it, it may not be skills, or hobbies that I can brag about, but it is something that liberate me. this then leads to less judgement.

How do I trust myself ? 

Responsibility and accountability for oneself; for upholding what I value, and need like, honesty, respect, etc. that then slowly leads to self trust.

The approach I can adopt, is by learning and getting to know myself, as opposed trying to meet this ideal of myself.

If the love of your life would reflect all your unhealed issues, mirror your flaws, and bring your deepest insecurities to light, would you be ready to be in a relationship with them?

rejection for who I truly am. unworthiness and not being enough. not being well-equipped - not having figured it out. feeling like a failure, and an idiot.

I’m not sure if I am ready.

Do you try to relate to other human beings, or do you try to exert superiority over them? I try to relate. Do you want to connect or do you want to seem impressive?  I try to be impressive. Do you engage in discussion to learn, or to sell someone on your way of thinking so you feel supported and correct? I engage to learn.

Are you thinking about your love life more that you’re actually living it?

Yes, I am thinking and introspecting more than acting.

[strength-of-character]

I think when looking through social media, it can be much easier to feel bitter towards someone who may seem like has accomplished a lot more than you could have ever within a short span of time. The most obvious issue with this is the undying human need to compare oneself a greater self. If that greater self is not you, albeit in a different point in time that can still be achieved through progress, then it is no wonder that you will feel a disconnect from the individual on the screen who is achieving their goals & dreams. You haven’t accomplished your own yet to use yourself as a standard, leave alone even having tried to some momentum towards them to begin with.

There is a sense of intimidation, a lack of belief in oneself. The dreams stop, and so do you. You allow yourself to wither. Is such life you want to live? One that went unexplored? Forget the end goal, focus on the journey. The goal is simply a means for you to begin & sustain motivation for exploration, even on the seemingly mundane days. To lose such childlike curiosity renders life devoid of the thrill that comes along with exploring the unknown. Things become...stagnant, & you become complacent. It is no wonder that complacency is the thief of life’s most joyous moments. I will never forget when a friend of mine squinted at me & was surprised at my description of grocery shopping as ‘boring’ & ‘mundane’. He simply turned his head & questioned: ‘...wait, grocery shopping is mundane?’. I had to reassess my perception: I wasn’t allowing the joy & excitement seep into my seemingly prosaic days. It certainly is more of a mindshift game than anything else, extending the prerequisite unto me to switch my own lenses with that of another. It might simply be that you’re wearing 3D glasses in a 4D world, so of course you’re not going to garner exposure to greater dimensions of being when you don’t even allow the light to reflect unto those surfaces to begin with!

[arrowrinehart]

Thousand Hands & Spears

A short story, by yours truly. A comrade fic of Undyne on the Genocide run and how she is not alone in her struggle! Guest starring my Tiger Boss monster.~ Sun-Taiyang! Please enjoy :D

--

A/N: Out of the blue the idea for this Undertale fic, I doubt I'm the first or the last to get the idea of seeing what Undyne's amazing personality is like. While rough around the edges, once you realize where she'd coming from and what she's about, there's only more awesome between her, her duty as the Captain of the Guard, and her general protective nature, which combines with her determination. That is part of what brought this idea to the surface, whether you love or hate what comes of this, it shall happen and be on its own. This introduces my fanon oc, “Thousand Hands” Taiyang, a tiger boss monster whose martial skill shall split the Samsara caves from which he trains in the Underground.

(end A/N)

–

Thousand Hands & Spears

Taiyang's POV

As meditation brought my mind another treatment of peace and echoes of the evil ahead. That thing that I'd sensed in all parts, it would bring ruin to our people, our way of life, something that could not be stopped. What was it..? The image of something innocent that hid the spirit of  true demon, nay...even demons would shiver before this mass of darkness. An intolerance beyond the degree of my practitioners, those I bid to escape. There was to be no peace, no way that the students, who sought talents of inner strength, belief in oneself, discipline, focus, or insight into the elements of the cosmos.

'The time is nigh...the evil will erase all in its path, they shall not escape...perhaps this is my sign?'

A thought that the heart of mine had followed, a whisper that brings me solace, my hands will be needed at this point. To protect those that I seek to, to help allies in actions against the foe that walks the path as a child and yet is a creature of the infernal breed. That is what we prepare for our whole lives, to enact our roles in times of dire need. The people who need us will be met with open arms and they should not be ignored. The time to act is now, destiny shall be embraced and my small wheel may end on this evening.

Before long I was on my way, bearing my only comrade in arms, a multi-ringed staff held in hand that had been with me through my aging process. A final gift from my wayward father, who had survived the great massacre...that which some call the Great War. There was nothing of a nature that could have been any more of a boast, to sound as if we monsters could truly fight the humans on even ground. It was pointless confidence to have called that slaughter something it was not. As my path takes me from the hidden area, the Samsara Caves, I come across signs of dust and my eyes cannot help but narrow.

(End POV)

The song of battle would soon ring if Taiyang were too slow to miss it, as this thing going unto itself was a thing of imbalance on its own. Entering this eternal circle would have been the lesser ideal for anyone else, in truth any other fate beyond going to one's death would have been preferred. As Taiyang's pace increased, he made sure that he got to the bridge faster, bringing up his speed in order to make up the difference in his timing. Such was it that he spotted there a child crossing the bridge at a hasty pace. Each step brought the very visible shadow across the eyes to grow darker, something driving the child that was empty...devoid of anything but droning existence.

“This is the creature.” he could not even call it a thing, a child...this was barely that, if only sharing age with some of the youngest he'd seen.

The creature that was making its way across the bridge was anything but a child anymore. There was no time to lose, as no sooner had the valiant Martial master leapt from the top of cave edge, had the heavily armored knight made her way out into action. It was to protect a child...she leapt into the way, and Taiyang acted at once. As no sooner had he seen Undyne leap and manage her way into the attack's aim, as he expanded his aura and put it to work.

Clang!

The sound of metal against armor resounded, as did the sound of the blade being halted as it pierced the armor. The weapon held by this 'child' was held by a palm of energy, something of Taiyang's enlightened and had not hit Undyne fully. Destiny had been brushed, but fate would not change.

“U-Undyne!” the voice of the Monster kid cried out, as he saw blood dripping from her armor.

“This is nothing, now...next time listen to me when I say someone's dangerous. Get...out of here, now!” the voice of the veteran soldier was shaken, but firm with confidence.

“B-But...” the hesitation following the Monster Kid's voice was prevalent, and as Undyne prepared to rebuke the child, it was the hermit Tiger monster who interceded first.

“She is right child, go...find refuge, she is not alone in her battle. This creature will not leave this bridge in one piece.” Master Taiyang spoke with factual calm in his tone.

The Monster Kid looked on in awe, having never seen a large hand of energy in action before. This was the myth of the caves, the heroic Master Taiyang from the war who survived and found enlightenment. At least, these were the rumors spread around the Underground, which seemed to make Taiyang's father into a small whisper of a legend. If nothing at all, the Samsara Caves were not unknown to the Captain of the Guards. It was a haven away from the open, a place for recluses who sought out a different way to live.

“R-Right...Undyne! You won't lose, not with the Master of the Samsara Caves!” The child perked up and ran off the rest of the way.

For a moment there was silence, as the one eyed fish-woman looked briefly to the tiger dressed in his battle robes. A small smile spreading across her face as she felt invigorated by a comrade in arms, this wasn't just a struggle against something weak; she could sense the vile nature of this thing before them. Without words being spoken, she nodded and turned back to the child, gripping her forged spear of water with tenacity growing within her. Something that would not let her falter, Undyne's armor twisted in the light as her heart beat faster. She spoke for the first time since being wounded.

“You aren't anything normal...you don't intend to stop, do you?”

“...”

“No, how stupid...why should I waste time asking, I can feel it...this rampage won't stop until everyone's dead. Monsters...humans...they are all the same thing to you, a big spot of nothing. Well I won't let you!” the wound bled profusely...it was deeper than she thought, she grunted at the pain and felt that burning vigor become greater. She could feel the thrum growing inside of her, this was her DETERMINATION.

“I'll stop you, no...WE will stop you! I can feel everyone's hearts beating at once, all of now working in one flow to stop you. You'll...have to try harder than that to beat me. No small wound will ever take me down!” Truer words had never been spoken, as Undyne completed this strange evolution, with the determination in her soul, the thing would move.

“...Hm...heh...” the small laugh came from the child as a big smile filled its face, an unnatural contorted look of pure evil filling its gaze. The two before it would be next, this armored fish-woman and this tiger monster who dared to interfere. They were in the way, the child stepped forward once and attempted to move in on them both.

But Taiyang had been waiting for it, and he acted immediately, with a poised step: left foot pressed into the wood of the bridge, as he swept his palm forward with such force, that a vacuum of force struck the child and shot him back to the bridge edge. The tiger did not look up, as his bangs had fallen over his face just as the action had been completed. Instead, he spoke in a cool tone.

“I am Taiyang, Sol of the Samsara Caves, you will fall before our combined might.” the boss monster took stance and rushed at the child.

As this inevitable struggle begins, two souls intertwine and mix before a common enemy. The great wheel turns as the eternal foe stands before the impossible to defeat, but it will not falter. Shall it fall 10 times or 100 times, there is no end. Memory gives way to pattern, returns give way to wariness, crushed souls shall mend and return from the brink. No skill, no nature, no power, nor skill shall ever defeat it.

For it has the most powerful...DETERMINATION.

(End Story)

We have the end of this short piece, a short story that introduces my character, “Thousand Hands” Taiyang. A tiger of martial arts who has the gift of foresight in battle. Here he stands on the path of destruction, as does any boss monster in 'its' way, as the creature who becomes Chara makes its way through. Unable to slip from destiny, Taiyang finds Solace in joining a battle before it begins, using that foresight to enter a place where despair stands and find comfort in joining another in falling. As no one can escape the Samsara...when bound to it, like a fool who wishes to complete it.

Heh a small little thought about taking time to consider, if one has no choice, then to fall with a comrade would be the best honor. Here, Taiyang greets his fate standing alongside the courageous Undyne, who still assumes her Undying form, as despite Taiyang's interference: she still took a critical wound. That is where one can say that some fates cannot be avoided, in this...it will be a duty to stand to the end.

Well until the next time, I bid you adieu.

-Quentix.

[pussymagicuniverse]

painfully aware

pain is phenomenally subjective. even in our own solipsism we can barely differentiate it ourselves. a doctor asks is it a shooting pain a throbbing pain a stabbing pain is it sore is it sharp. how to iterate which exactly it is unless all have been felt all have been understood all have been identified past the point of knowing that it just hurts. “pain doesn’t destroy language: it changes it”. it expands our understanding of language through the inability of language to expand on the pain. 

unable to unwilling to describe to a professional sometimes we regurgitate words and experiences into search engines into forums waiting hoping that even one other person might recognize the words might use the same words might know the feeling. but is their tingling yours.

after working with phantom limb pain in the 1950s, Dr. Roland Melzack began a collection of 'pain words' which led to the creation of the McGill Pain Questionnaire. piecing together adjectives of rhythm movement feel pressure type; pulsing jumping boring crushing spreading. pain develops character, it becomes annoying miserable intense. pain develops a motive; punishing. pain becomes cruel or vicious. pain becomes fearful frightful terrifying. 

more often than not it just hurts a feeling only communicable by your inability to communicate anything else. a refraction of an orgasm, equally tucked away. during there is little-to-no memory of what came before no conception of what might come after. the present is never so present as through pain a continual reminder of a body the body your body. “But why do we say: "I can't imagine the opposite"? Why not: "I can't imagine the thing itself"?” it feels like it’s not supposed to feel but what did it feel like when nothing was felt.   

like when hiccups disappear and every breath comes with the lingering anticipation of disruption.

the medieval polymath Ibn Sina called pain relief ‘taskeen of pain’ which literally means ‘making pain quiet. now we seek to kill pain in the belief that silence isn’t enough, leaving us wondering how to kill the silence.   

some studies claim that “simply viewing the body reduces the reported intensity of acute physical pain”, concrete identification serving as justification for our own comprehension. visual information flows to the brain just as sensory so it serves to reason that the more information we give ourselves the more we thin the focus of our understanding. “pain that gets performed is still pain.” the performance of the wound becomes less about the wound than the audience but one cannot exist without the other. pain requires a body to feel it to externalize it. we actualize our pain just as often as we sterilize it. 

but how does one manifest the fear of the manifestable. the fear of pain hurts more with its temporal indeterminacy rising above and flooding below every instant any memory any possibility with the reminder of what might. pain leaves behind a shade of itself, a memory that pervades membranes, nothing felt in the nerves and yet every motion begins with a brace finding the future before it comes. pain distracts while the fear of pain inhibits and both serve in the destruction of the self, rendering it a component rather than exponent.  

the denial of pain as well as the denial of its fear becomes a badge of honor, an ability to disambiguate oneself into a force of strength, a bastardization of the nietzschean ‘that which does not kill me, makes me stronger’, reflective of endurance rather than expansion, an ability to acknowledge but unwilling to confront.  

how to move beyond not only the abstraction of pain but the esotericism of fear. neither imaginary nor real yet wholly authentic. despite our ever increasing vocabulary we still contort pain into a singular mass an obstacle to move past rather than information to incorporate. we fear the anomaly of not feeling like ourselves when that pain as well as that fear is only ever ourselves.  

the belief that you’re supposed to feel nothing. it’s often not so much the fear of pain but the fear of feeling. it’s not the pain you want to stop but the awareness of feeling a part of you that you didn’t feel before. there is too much of a connection to the body when there’s pain. we say too much because often there is the desire to deny our most fundamental existence in favor of that which we have the illusion of control. 

it seems simpler to let one or the other triumph. an all or nothing contest between mind and body. one conquers the other ignoring that neither may suffice without the other. why seek to establish a hierarchy when coexistence necessitates existence. 

how to manufacture a learned balance that acknowledges fear acknowledges the grotesque acknowledges the body without letting it overwhelm recognition overwhelm the restrained overwhelm the mind. perhaps the scariest thing of all is the requisition of control of ability but how can it be a requisition when there was none to be had in the first place. 

Further Play:

The Undying by Anne Boyer

Kore by Andrzej Szczeklik and translated by Antonia Lloyd-Jones

Notes Made While Falling by Jenn Ashworth

Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain By Leslie Jamison

Moving Beyond Pain by bell hooks

marina manoukian is a reader and writer and collage artist. she currently resides in berlin while she studies and works. she likes honey and she loves bees. you can find more of her words and images at marinamanoukian.com or twitter/instagram at @crimeiscommon.