#dghda meta

[urlocallesbiab]

pararibulitis observation:

the disease flare-ups in both of the brotzman siblings are stress-triggered, but it's sensory-heavy for amanda and emotion-heavy for todd. cases in point,

amanda:

freezes when she goes out on the street;

hurts her hand when she drums;

bursts into flames in a loud & bright store, despite feeling proud of herself for leaving the house;

todd:

gets a burn on his hand in which he held the phone when panicked amanda called him;

chokes when farah leaves him alone and he ends up running into police (while on the run from the government).

though, despite the difference, there's a similarity in that both cases somewhat represent the idea that "what you fear most in yourself, will hurt you (so let go of the fear)":

— amanda knows she's got the disease, so she stays holed up indoors despite hating the boredom, so even mild sensory distortions send her careening.

— todd believes his feelings are not worth examining, so he doesn't, and they boil under until they boil over.

advice for amanda: live your life, even if it's dangerous.

advice for todd: be honest, even if it's inconvenient.

[neeturnal]

i have so many thoughts about dghda and age, first off the blackwing gang(TM) never realy understand it (eg. vogel saying he can be amanda's grandson) and ALSO

since we don't have the official ages of the blackwing folk, this is what i feel each character gives off (and i'm not counting francis, bcs we know how old he is and he's def the oldest)

first we have the OG rowdy 3, who are probably around late 30s to 40s

then i actually think mona could be older too. think about it, she's literally a shapeshifter so is technically ageless.

y'all know i'm obsessed with dirk/mona being found family siblings, that's why i think mona would be older than dirk/bart/vogel. idk dirk just gives off younger brother energy, and i think because of that mona did a lot to protect him in blackwing, yk bcs she's like a god essentially. bcs of this i always saw her as an older sister type, bcs i feel thé sheer power of her was so often used to protect dirk in blackwing.

now i'm like a firm believer in dirk and bart being the same age. like, their abilities parallel eachother so much it makes sense if the universe decided to drop 'em both onto earth at the same time (i would even not necessarily doubt bart and dirk being biological siblings, but that's just a bit too off canon for me to fully adopt dkfjdjf)

and then i think vogel is def the youngest, just because (iirc) riggins/preist/freidken/someone mentioned that when vogel joined blackwing was when the project became too unstable, causing the initial breakout. so clearly, there was alot of time before vogel joined.

again obv just a theory (a GAME theory) and i would gen love everyone else's thoughts

[clockworkcheetah]

the colours on the blackwing jumpsuits are absolutely supposed to indicate a danger level to the projects

like dirk has orange. only friedkin needed to go and he didnt even say anything. clearly orange is deemed a low threat (at least in terms that the project themselves doesnt have powers that can hurt you, which dirk doesnt, he can just end up in locations tht cause violence)

the rowdy three have red and as riggins says Normally, confronting these subjects would be a 40-man operation. I'd want 10 men for every one of them. so red means dangerous but can be managed

bart and mona both have light blue. weapons and armies cant work on them. theyre two powerful and regular people arent gonna touch them. however what does seem to work? talking *cough*manipulating*cough* building a meaningful relationship. both priest and ken get this and the way they interact with bart. and ken (i also think because he survived bart he thinks can survive mona- which yeah he did but still) interacts with mona in a careful way using certain words to get on her good side (using dirk specifically)

i dont know if the blacks/whites of the jumpsuit means anything though

[frenchfriedgiraffe]

dghda season 2 and childhood

this is adding on to this post i made a while ago. basically, i fully believe that the writers of this show set up the perfect opportunity to have the theme of s2 be about childhood, specifically exploring the effects of trauma (and escapism/maladaptive daydreaming). its already something that is featured or referenced to, however i think that there was a lot of potential for the show if they fully embraced the theme.

the biggest and most prominent example of the theme of childhood being present is in the character of francis (The Boy), who experiences severe childhood trauma and as a result creates a fantasy world that he can escape to. this world is full of stereotypes of a conventional children’s fantasy, with knights, a magic train, and even a crazy evil wizard guy. yet despite this, the world he created also contains elements from real life, specifically things that he found traumatic. francis witnesses his father get killed with a pair of scissors, and the main weapon used by the characters in wendimoor are a pair of giant scissors. also, in the house within the house, theres a copy of his kitchen, featuring the scissors and smashed flowerpot.

this is probably the most obvious display of the lasting effects of childhood trauma in a character, although there are a LOT more, though they are quite subtle.

dirk may be the second most obvious example of the presence of this theme. his very first scene in season 2 is set in blackwing, the organisation that took him and experimented on him as a child. blackwing is hinted to have abused him as a child, although we only see how they treat him as an adult. (there is a deleted scene of him when he was a child talking to the previous head of blackwing, meaning that there was a possibility we could have seen what it was like for him as a child too.)

however it is clear that he suffered trauma from his time at BW as a child, as many of his mannerisms throughout both season 1 and 2 mirror those of someone with c!ptsd. and having that trauma resurface in s2 also causes him to be more distant and get upset more frequently. (theres more but this is long enough already)

despite escaping blackwing early on in the season, dirk is obviously extremely shaken from his brief time back in there, and its pretty safe to say that the experience brought up a lot of bad memories. he is much more subdued throughout s2, and his previous optimism is rarely present, with his attitude towards the case being very different from s1.

like francis, there are a few tiny hints to escapism as a result of dirks trauma from blackwing (although im probably grasping at straws here). while in blackwing, he frequently dreams about being rescued by todd and farah. while being chased near the end of the season, dirk is lethargic and rather unresponsive, which could be some sort of dissociative state that he entered in order to escape from the reality of his situation.

while these are the most prominent examples where characters are shown to be effected by their childhood experiences, most of the other characters can be interpreted this way too.

farah is another good example, where she mentions the passing of her dad, and talks about how he wasnt a great father figure and caused her to often feel like a failure. she actually gets a resolution to this, with hobbs seeming to step in as her new father figure (yay!)

this was also something that seemed to be half set up for other characters. for example, todd and amanda having to learn to accept the changes in their relationship and amanda having to recontextualize her past. tinas frequent references to her struggles with addiction as well. farson and his whole family… thing. oh, and also like EVERY other blackwing subject. (more examples but again, this is a fucking long post)

essentially, the characters in this season struggle a lot, and a lot of this is because of things that happened (or possibly happened) because of their childhood experiences.

which leads me onto my next point (oh god, theres more!?) about the missed opportunity with this set up. many people agree that a lot of season 2 felt rather… aimless? while things were loosely connected, they definitely felt a lot less connected than in season 1. events happened and because there were plots happening in different DIMENSIONS, there was often very little overlap. having an underlying theme like this would have made each plot connect much more seamlessly, and it would have been a nice opportunity to further develop and explore some characters.

for example, throughout his journey in season 2, dirk could be seen recognising the parallels between the case and his own internal conflict. as he sees the destruction caused by francis’ powers, he could mirror the events with his own experiences and perhaps realise the effects of what pushing down trauma does. i think it would have been nice to see a conversation between dirk and francis about blackwing, ending with francis telling dirk he needs to learn to face the shit he went through and stop trying to ignore his trauma. this would have been a good way to connect their characters more as well.

it would have been a good opportunity to connect ALL the characters, especially if the show embraced the idea of escapism and pushed it further through wendimoor. as they got closer to solving the case, we could have seen them recognising their own flaws and looking back at their pasts.

and they wouldn’t have really had to make any super drastic changes, because theres already so much material for this theme to be introduced!!

tl;dr: s2 set up a lot of cool themes and the season would have been a lot more well-rounded if they embraced them more.

dont even get me started on the concept of good and bad…

[lavinialost]

here's a silly little narrative/visual parallel that I noticed

Turning to Exhibit A: this is Patrick Spring. he has two massive electric-crossbow arrows sticking out of his chest. he's about to bleed out probably :)

and then Catherine saves his life! And Patrick immediately falls in love with her and they have a great time together (before she gets fridged for crimes of being a woman). good, great, we all knew that part.

BUT THEN we turn to Exhibit B: guess who ALSO gets shot with two arrows. that's right, this bitch right here:

and WHO, might you ask, saves his life????

aaaaaand if we follow the logic of things doubling up and paralleling and whatever that the show revolves around, we come to a very straightforward conclusion.

your honour, they’re in love. case closed :)

[hearteyespierce]

on messy redemption arcs (specifically todd brotzman's) and why i think they're a good thing

sharing the following thing i wrote in the dghda server re: todd's character growth in s2 upon the request of another server member!

for context, this is regarding a conversation that sprung up in the dghda server about some people viewing Todd as manipulative/uncaring towards Dirk, vs other people who saw his arc in s2 through a different lens. to be clear, despite various disagreements, the conversation was positive and everyone was respectful which was really nice, considering how bad discourse can get sometimes. but anyway i came in late to the conversation and this was my contribution - clearly, i fall in camp 2:

[About Todd's ups and downs in S2:] growth isn't linear and people can take steps forward and then fall back, but what matters ultimately to me is that they keep trying to take those steps forward even when they make mistakes and I think Todd does do that.

He's spent so much of his life in a prison of his own making, lying to everyone and digging a hole so deep he didn't think he could ever get out of it. And I think he did always care about Amanda at the very least but he did this HUGE fuckup and covering that up led to this avalanche of horrible decisions and now he has to own up to his shit and learn how to care about people again without hiding from his actions.

He definitely gets tunnel vision about Amanda, and I think that makes sense. He’s so desperate to “fix” things and a big part of his story in season 2 is learning that, like Amanda said, some things you can’t just FIX. Sometimes you just have to pick up the pieces you have left and do your best to make something good with them.

Additionally [in regards to previous comments made about Todd ignoring/not caring about the trauma Dirk suffered in his second bout in Blackwing], he doesn’t know the extent of what happened in Blacking, not yet. And he’s taken several steps back by centering all his focus on finding Dirk - Dirk who has always seemed so optimistic and enthusiastic - to “fix” things (because he hasn’t learned his lesson about fixing things yet). And he doesn’t know how to reconcile the Dirk he knew before with the things that this new stint in Blackwing has changed about Dirk.

I don’t think Todd is malicious or not caring about Dirk - I think he has done so much self isolation over the years that he is unused to knowing how to identify what’s going on with other people/doesn’t know how to handle things. He does try to uplift Dirk, even if he doesn’t always do it in the right way, but that doesn’t make him cruel or manipulative. It makes him a human person who is also struggling to learn how to exist in community with others.

I think there’s also something to be said for the black and white ways we can view fictional characters who react to situations in ways that create defensiveness in us based on our own experiences/our own traumas. I think processing that through fiction is such a powerful tool but it can also put blinders on us and view some characters as wholly good “perfect cinnamon rolls” and other characters as “horrible manipulators”, when really, both types of characters have strengths and flaws, and neither exists purely on one end of the spectrum or the other.

tl;dr redemption arcs can and should be messy sometimes because people are messy. none of these characters are inherently good or inherently bad and i think that's what makes them all such compelling characters.

[summery-captain]

AuDHD traits Dirk Gently Displays - S1E4: Watkin

Hello friends!! It's been a WHILE but I'm back with this series - You may follow the google docs file I'm writing everything down in, also! If you haven't yet, links to the first three episodes:

S1E1 - Horizons / S1E2 - Lost and Found / S1E3 - Rogue Wall Enthusiasts

Click read more to read the analysis of the fourth episode! Tagging: @clockworkcheetah @urlocallesbiab @generalized-incompetence @amber-angel @goatygoat @frenchfriedgiraffe

 > When Todd catches up with him and Farah, he schools his expressions from excited to have seen him to bored/uninterested, both to show that he isn’t THAT excited he’s there - he seems to think having a bigger reaction to things he likes may cause unwanted reactions from those around him, so he constantly tones himself down

> When they get to the powerhouse, he’s SOOO excited about climbing the fence - I headcanon Dirk as a mix of sensory avoidant and sensory seeking, and his impulsivity is also very relatable

> “Push my bum!! Make me go up!!!” - I might die of second hand embarrassment everytime I watch this scene, but it’s so relatable! I, too, say things without noticing it might have double meaning and it doesn’t dawn on me until hours or years later

> When he isn’t able to climb up and then sees Farah just. Break the locks. It’s SO funny how he hadn’t even considered trying the more obvious steps first before just throwing himself onto the chain link fence, I love him!! Yes impulsive with no common sense king!!!

> As soon as they’re in he just grabs the map from Todd’s hand without even glancing at him - impulsivity but also hyperfocus on the task overriding the conscious effort to show courtesy by asking for things before taking them

> After he falls inside the maze, he tells Todd “Which was unsafe to do unsupervised, now that I think about it” - hard time thinking things through before doing it because, again, the hyperfocus ends up overriding common sense

> “Where are we?” / “Underground!” - WELL YES. Literal thinking icon

> Todd calls out to him, “Hey! Don’t wander off!” - elopping, we tend to wander off without noticing or letting others know, or stay behind because we stopped to look at something, often also involves not noticing danger

> “I think the message is… you’re going to die” - no filter, absolutely first thing that comes to mind is already halfway out his mouth, ADHD ambassador

> “You can’t just walk in blindly? You’re saying that to ME?” - Same trait as before, elopping all the way

> Todd goes, “When shit hits the fan, you fall apart!” - EXTREMELY common for us to not see the consequences or effects coming up until we have to deal with it, especially in situations we’ve never been through before, which is a constant

> *smiling * “...I hope you’re not smiling” DEEP frown - my beautiful son who has cartoonish expressions and can’t hide his emotions very well, we are one and the same

> In the strip down scene we see he wears a white undershirt, which could be providing deep pressure which is great for sensory seeking autistic people!! Also goes in hand with me headcanoning him as trans, double up tight shirt as a binder AND sensory stim

>  “Hope you’re not claustrophobic” / “No, I don’t even like coffee” - two things: he has audio processing issues and misunderstood what was said, AND he responded based on what he understood even if it didn’t make sense for the context of the situation at hand

[goatyoat]

so what are your thoughts on trans todd and tina

i don't know why i say things and expect you guys to not immediately bite. when will i learn?

My thoughts on these two being trans are this:

Todd being trans is just a headcannon i've had for ages bc little fledgling trans me watched this show and projected on to Todd (nevermind that im a dirk kinnie now, things change). Even now though, I just like the idea of it.

But Tina? This is a newer concoction of mine. I came up with the idea bc I was ruminating on trans headcannons for this show and I just kind of *wanted* one of the ladies to be trans at first bc we love trans women in this household. At first I just decided it would be Tina because. not for any meaningful reason.

BUT THEN, dear reader, then i considered the implications

This is a lot of hype for me to basically say; I like trans Tina because it adds a layer of depth to her and Todd's relationship. Like, it goes from "woah dude you were a really cool musician who's music rocked and you were basically a god" to "all that PLUS you a trans figure in my life who maybe also helped me feel confident enough to come out and transition even in this rural montana town"

So yeah my thoughts on Trans Tina and Todd are "trans solidarity" <3

[corvidiss]

Okay so I was talking on discord with fellow dghda peeps and apparently this is worthy of wider circulation so:

Thinking about the differences between (1) “What would this character be as an animal?”, (2) “What would this character's dæmon be?” and (3) “What is this character's animal motif?”

(1) is about matching the character’s personality (and sometimes physical appearance) to the attributes of a species of animal. It's looking at that species' behaviour, physiology and adaptations and going “This matches this person's character very closely.” This may also involve vibes though, the more so the more silly you're being about it.

Example: Farah Black would be a cheetah, because they're very good at the specific thing they do, are very deadly with it, and are very prone to anxiety and often need support animals in captivity to reduce stress.

(2) is pretty close to (1) and often will overlap or be the same. But in this case, it can also be about whether the animal species complements the character's lifestyle and appearance and such, and is often slightly further along the spectrum of vibes.

Example: Dirk Gently's dæmon would be a stoat, because stoats have a lot of energy and a lot of curiosity, and they're able to take down problems far far bigger than themselves somehow. And also Dirk with a stoat on his shoulder Vibes.

(3), however, is all about associations. This may partially disregard the actual attributes of the selected species, because it is about societal associations with a certain species rather than its actual biology. It's things like “fox is treacherous and sly” and “golden eagle is noble and bold.” Animal motifs can certainly delve into more realistic and accurate info of the species chosen, but they can be comfortably much less subvertive than (1) and (2).

Example: Dirk Gently's animal motif is a canary, because the canary is bright yellow, associated with hope, very vocal, and when it stops singing you know something terrible is coming, or has already happened.

[urlocallesbiab]

[Image Description:

a cropped screenshot of text that reads "Certain events both in the distant past and in the first few episodes of season one and two did not go as the universe intended, for"

some words are manually highlighted by the poster: "events", "first few episodes of season one", "did not go as the universe intended"

/end ID]

okay, my theory:

estevez, zimmerfield and ken are the anomalies

the universe didnt account that missing persons would be so invested in the case. because while lydia spring is important, shes not actually fundamental to stopping the men of the machine and destroying the 3:1 machine. dirk had to set off the time loop and stop the MOM. he didnt have to save lydia. 

so because estevez and zimm got so involved, they needed someone around to be able to fix the machine, since estevez would shoot it.

enter ken.

i think, in the universes ideal plan, missing persons would not have gotten as involved as they did, and therefore zimm wouldnt have died and estevez would have never drunkenly shot the machine.

and by the same note, i think bart was originally meant to kill red and ken in the desert. red because he was MOM, and ken because he knew about the machine and could feasibly replicate it.

but now obviously kens still around and the universe has not accounted for this, and its throwing the plan off-course. 

at least for bart, ken alive = obsession to find ken = willingness to disobey the universe = sparing suzie boreton

ken dead + no friendship with ken = compliant murder puppet 

tl;dr: 

1) everything is estevez and zimm’s fault

 2) ken being alive is fucking shit up

[urlocallesbiab]

Francis Cardenas, "The boy", as a trope personified:

So, a lot of us have noticed that DGHDA's holistics function as fiction tropes in-universe, bending the expectations of normalcy and reason of those around them for the benefit of "the narrative"/the universe and fate itself. They're more than just tropes applied — they're tropes incarnate, made real and tangible within the confines of the story, interacting with it on a somewhat metatextual level. We've got:

Dirk Gently as "main character syndrome"

Bart Curlish as "plot armor"

The Rowdy 3 as "deus ex machina van"

Mona Wilder as "swiss army weapon"

So, what does Francis stand for, with his god-like powers of bringing dreams and fantasies to life?

I think he's "the inciting incident".

Look at it:

He's the center of the Cardenas case (none of the deaths and disappearances would've happened if he didn't have his powers).

He's the reason the dimension of Wendimoor and its people exist at all.

He's the first ever project of Blackbook, the predecessor of Blackwing; in a way, he's the reason Blackwing exists.

And, as @goatyoat helpfully pointed out, Friedkin moving him was, chronologically speaking, the inciting incident of season 2 itself!

So, there you have it, QED *bows*

[neeturnal]

this is gonna be very shitposty but every once in a while i just gush over the creativity and amazing writing that is farah's character, specifically in context of her being a black woman. like her character archetype only makes sense if she's played by Jade Eshete.

Her whole life she's been brought up by a strong black military family, so she's always been expected by not just her family, but by American society as well to be the "strong, independent, badass" character. and she expects this of herself too, most of her panic attacks/breakdowns are based on her feeling like she's not being strong enough (im specifically thinking of s1, that scene with amanda). but thats the thing, Farah is incredibly strong, shes incredibly brave, and she literally is called a badass by almost every major character because she really is what holds the entire cast together.

but despite this, her character still rebels from that archetype so well, because shes not strong and brave all the time, there are many moments in the show where we see such a vulnerable side of her. and these deviations arent just a cold emotionless moments, they're messy! she's a hot mess! but thats a good thing!

The overall message of the show is one that I am already in love with, but another message the show represents in specifics to farah is that there are sooooo many ways to be strong. you're never going to prove yourself to others if they only have one way of defining their expectations of you. its because of her vulnerabilities that she is one of the strongest female protagonists ive ever seen.

[clockworkcheetah]

in dghda the universe is a stage all the characters are performing a role the universe wants them to act out, hence theres a backstage of reality, theres an ending to the cases thats all planned out

[urlocallesbiab]

this is such a beautiful meta 😭😭

todd's act of care is both so deliberate, determined, involiable, and also almost adsent-minded & nonchalant in how easy it comes to him — it's meaningful, but meaning is not alluded to, just dissolved in the air — todd's a natural carer, so it's really just obvious for him, and he's stubborn about things like that. dirk's hurt, so he should be taken care of, end of conversation. what to dirk is a revelation, to todd is a mundane truth, a muscle memory. (what dirk needs like air, to todd comes as easy as breathing; vice versa as well, perfectly mirrored. that's the mark of true soulmates.)

and yanno we talk a lot about how dirk's unquestionable, unconditional acceptance rocked todd's world – he looked at that man, dirty and ragged and guilty and full of bullshit, and said "well, i don't care. i still want to be your friend". todd's built for himself this empire of suffering and retribution, and dirk said "you really don't have to. you deserve better." we all know that.

but todd did it for dirk first! dirk's life has always been crazy whims and unlikely coincidences and random turns of the stream, but todd had said "can't you just walk away? take control of your life?"; dirk's always been hurt no matter where he went and what he did, but todd went "it's not okay that you're hurt. you shouldn't be hurt. i won't stand for it".

and both acts are especially similar in the fact that from a practical, physical standpoint, they didn’t quite amount to anything. todd's insistence that dirk should disregard the universe didn't stop him from being the universe's angel, didn't pull him out of the loop, todd's total unnaceptance of his pain as normal didn't stop further pain from happening; dirk's forgiveness and understanding didn't save todd from the material consequences of his own actions, didn't prevent his sister from being hurt and betrayed and angry, didn't un-fuck his entire life up.

but sometimes it just matters a lot to have a person by your side look at all the hurt in your life and say "this shouldn't be happening. this is wrong. i want better things for you." even when they don't have the power to fix everything. that's what love is, and it's important.

Why did they have to be pink?

[lavinialost]

thinking about how rapunzel the corgi functions as a foreshadowing device in s2.

rapunzel was rimmer's dog in s1, and for all intents and purposes, rimmer was the main antagonist of s1 (even though he's kind of garbage at it).

and then in s2 we see her attached to ken. they're being held in the taxi together, friedkin's convinced she's part of ken's supposed holisticism, she gets to go with ken when he's reassigned to his own room after his "promotion", etc.

and then who's set up to be the main antagonist by the end of s2? ken. who still has rapunzel with him somewhere in blackwing.

[summery-captain]

AuDHD traits Dirk Gently Displays - S1E5: Very Erectus

- You may follow the google docs file I'm writing everything down in, also! If you haven't read them yet, links to the first four episodes:

S1E1 - Horizons / S1E2 - Lost and Found / S1E3 - Rogue Wall Enthusiasts / S1E4 - Watkin

Click read more to read the analysis of the fifth episode! Tagging: @clockworkcheetah @urlocallesbiab @generalized-incompetence @amber-angel @goatygoat @frenchfriedgiraffe

> In the scene in the dinner, after they start driving to go look for the 'treasure' based on the map, Todd starts insisting that Dirk has a power and he immediately deflects and shuts down, avoiding eye contact completely, looking around. > The second Todd says "It's you. It's something about you", he goes "I'm not psychic, drop it." - of course this enters the parallel of the whole show being about the holistics having their ties to the universe in different ways, but I've had moments where people know I'm autistic and they start insisting on either me being actually "normal" and it being a superpower, trying to single me or sus me out, and I react similarly to Dirk in this scene > "No!! We are having this conversation", discomfort, "Here, let's do an experiment" EXTREME discomfort - sometimes you're just existing and people want a) an explanation of your whole life and b) for you to prove to be what you say you are > "Look, I can't explain it, ok? I learned a long time ago things don't always make sense the way people want them to" - AuDhd to its barest components– > "You're going to have to accept that too. To. Too. To. Too? Two?" - very common to lose a bit of sense of words both in autism (overwhelmed) and plus ADHD having the common comorbidity of dyslexia 

> Trading the Corvette for the beat down jeep, and when Todd goes "???" he says "It's just a rental!" - he makes decisions and when people express concern assumes it's based on something else, even if it doesn't make sense. So he just says it. I usually know for a fact I won't figure out what they're ACTUALLY judging me for - general inaptitude to read between the lines or figure out social situations 

> Martin tells Amanda, about Dirk, "He's got gourmet panic!" - he just like us, he just like us fr 

> "Don't start with the zen master thing, ok? It worked out a lot better before I figured out you were a mess, too" - people tend to assume we're more put together than they are because we showcase emotions differently 

> When Todd says he's gonna give up on digging, he just goes "Wouldn't this be just one more thing you walked away from, though" - not the sincerautistic murder-- Sometimes I also blurt out things and accidentally read people to filth without fully realizing. 

> He puts clues together and recognizes patterns then blurts it out, classic AuDHD style

 > "(...) I think life is like that too, just an endless series of room with puzzles and eventually one of them kills you" / "That's dark and depressing" - my fellow AuDHD ambassador just drops bombs and doesn't even realize 

> "What is it?" / "A thing" - stating the obvious shouldn't be as funny as it is but it never gets old 

> "You brought the cat?" / "Of course I did" - just. Very cute honestly but also, I too make decisions without fully realizing what it would entail, like bringing a kitten around with you while digging shit up 

> Todd starts venting to him and he's like. Confused - but yet again he tries his very best to support him, saying "When I look behind me, I can't see ahead of me" / "Are you saying dwelling on my past is holding me back?" / "No. I mean I literally can't see what's back there when I'm looking forward" - general literal thinking

> "You know what I was thinking about? When I was staring down at the barrel of that gun?" "...bullets?" - literal thinking part 321 electric boogaloo

> “Everything is connected. But only I can see it… I’m not.. Psychic. But I am something” yeah. Autistic-

> “The hunches don’t help me, ever” - we tend to figure stuff out based on our general understanding of them, trying to consciously clock things others don’t have to think twice about, but the same is true in reverse, where things that may seem impossible for neurotypicals to figure out, we see immediately. Although we may know these things, we’re usually not taken seriously enough or don’t have the bandwidth to actually prevent some things from happening to us or around us.

> “I don’t have any friends, I am always surrounded by bizarre and frightening states of disaster, and I am always alone” - sad part hours, but it’s unfortunately true: we’re always overwhelmed, surrounded by input we can’t filter out, and it is extremely hard to make and maintain friends. But Dirk has found his people and so will all of us, eventually!!

> When Todd says “And Dirk? I am your friend.” - immediate hope, bright red eyes, furrowed eyebrows, then IMMEDIATELY he schools his expression out to nonchalant, so yet again his big reactions don’t push people around him away (both true for Dirk and in our general experience, having had to tone yourself down your whole life does NUMBERS on you)