#Undersea Agent

[onlylonelylatino]

T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents by George Pérez

[rolledspinepodcasts]

Amazing Heroes Podcast #8:

T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents Diamond Jubilee

(Volume One)

[chernobog13]

Undersea Agent (Vol. 1) #4 (August, 1966). Cover by Gil Kane.

Lt. Davey Jones, Undersea Agent, has a teen sidekick named Skooby, who is basically his version of Jimmy Olsen. Skooby accentually gets exposed to some chemicals that turn him into a monster. Lt. Jones has to find a way to stop Skooby's rampages without hurting him until he can be cured. Many hijinks ensue.

[tomoleary]

Gil Kane - Unused cover for Undersea Agent #4 (1966) Source

Published cover, also used for the compendium.

Edit: U.N.D.E.R.S.E.A. (United Nations Department of Experiment and Research Systems Established at Atlantis)

Source

[johniac]

Attention-Worthy Links for November 24th, 2024

[satoshy12]

Atlantean Danny

The Crown Prince of Atlantis

Time travel was something Danny would do from time to time. Sometimes it was a mission; other times it was just fun. This one was done with the help of the Frostbite map to find Atalantis. It wasn't the sunken one, but the one in myth, so it worked!

The King of Atalantis, Arion, smiled as he talked to Danny. The Lords of Order, as they exist in the Past, present, and future, had told him about Phantom; he was part of his future bloodline, which means his blood and Atalantis will exist for many years.

While watching Danny and spending time with the people of Atlantis.

The Lords of Order talked with him about this Hero, who seemed overjoyed as they heard he was of his bloodline. And told him that Danny would be a worthy heir to his crown, the magical circlet they once gave him as their next agent.

Arion heard about the "Prophecy of the One True King" and knew what it would mean if Danny took the crown. But he could see Atlantis would do well with Danny as ruler; the people already loved him for the short time he was here, and with the help of the Lords of Order, he would be a wise ruler.

He started to tell Danny about the Lord of Order and similar things. At first, Danny showed mistrust, but after a talk with Clockwork, Frostbite, and Pandora, he was willing to hear more. Pandora told him she wanted to meet Arion again; it had been a long time since he "visited". Arion wasn't sure what he meant, but it seemed like something he did in the afterlife, and he would remember it.

Danny learned how to use a Trident! It was made by the blacksmith because they didn't want him to be without a Weapon. The Trident he got was beautiful. The tip of the trident is silver in color, and a blue and purple fin-like covering can be found near the tip and the bottom. The handle of the trident has a dark blue color. (Shuumatsu Poseidon's Trident) Danny didn't use it often, but he loved the gift from the Old Smith.

After one of his adventures, Danny asked his ancestor if he should meet Atlantis in his world. Arion gave him a magical way to find his crown in the Future and told him to find and wear it before he went to Atlantis.

Back in the Present

It didn't take Danny long to find himself in the Undersea with Arion's crown in his hands, and the Lords of Order told him, like Arion, to just put on the circlet on his head. So now he could hear the Lords of Order, and they told him the way to Atlantis, and Danny was loving it already! Even as Human he could breath underwater but now he could stay under the Ocean!

While the city was beautiful on land, being sacked under the Ocean gave it a much different, out-of-this-world beauty. What Danny didn't notice was how the people in Atantis looked at the crown! And the magic that came out of him was the magic of the royal family of Atantis.

Few already thought he was an illegitimate child. They only had two Princes whose ages would work. But was it King Orin or Prince Orm?

[the-punforgiven]

My brain last night was trying to dream about watching the movie Jaws with my beloved, but I have never actually seen the movie Jaws so the "footage from the movie" my brain conjured up concerned the titular creature "Jaws", a bizarre undersea millipede-like creature with a shark's head (This was a false head to deter predators when it wasn't hunting.)

It had a thick carapace lined with small venomous spikes that held an insanely powerful numbing agent. "Jaws" was roughly the size of a small dog (initially, though was still noticeably longer) and covered in small gnashing teeth alongside nearly the entirety of the creature's underside. When it needed to hunt, "Jaws" would bury itself in the sand of shallow lakes, waiting for a human to step too close. Once they did step too close, the human's leg would be rendendered fully numb by the creature's venom and "Jaws" would latch onto and wrap around the leg, using both its teeth and its apparently sharp legs(?) to gruesomely rip and tear the numbed flesh down to the bone, before quickly leaving the unfortunate human and scuttling the fuck off into the sea to apparently molt into something roughly double its size. By the end of the movie it had grown to the point it was wrapping around and attempting to devour entire cargo ships.

I don't know what the FUCK creature that was, but even I know that sure as shit wasn't Jaws

[theresattrpgforthat]

THEME: Mermaids

This week’s games are all about swimming, stabbing, and sinking ships as creatures of the open ocean - or at least, a local body of water.

Siren Silk, by DOCTOR_dev.

Players take the roles of journeyfolk, the umbrella term for travelers that spread word and wares under the waters of the Swiften Sea, home of the branchia and their kingdom Ornata. Trade is done through any number of means: you can barter goods, harvest and deliver natural resources, craft at your traveling workshop, spin stories, or deliver news to the fringe settlements of Ornata.

Siren Silk is still a work in progress, but it has more than just mermaids on offer. You can play as various kinds of undersea folk, including sirens, krakens and sea serpents. Siren Silk is built on the Passkey System, which offers a diceless way to play, using something called EP. You have stat pools with various amounts of EP, which you can spend in order to gain a success; spend more EP, get a more effective success. You can also gain advantage or disadvantage in certain situations, which gives you discounts or higher EP costs. Your PCs might also take on conditions throughout their adventures that help or hinder them in mechanical ways, such as granting disadvantage, giving you extra EP, etc.

If you want to play this game with dice, there’s also a dice-rolling set of rules that correspond to the spending of EP, so I think Siren Silk has the potential to be flexible to your table.

Siren Squad, by Jennafiggers.

The Cerulean Sea needs your help! Join the Siren Squad, where you and your friends are rainbow mermaid secret agents. Summon adorable sea creatures, solve puzzles and explore for clues until you complete your Mission to keep the sea safe. This is a world where magic and technology intertwine, all sorts of fantastic sea creatures thrive, and friendship is the most powerful force of all.

Siren Squad is a cinematic game reminiscent of American Saturday morning cartoons where the heroes win and everything goes back to normal at the end of the episode. If you love the puny, light action of Totally Spies or Powerpuff Girls, the thematic characters of Streetsharks or Skylanders, or the off-the-wall adventures of Chalkzone and Ruby Gloom, you'll probably love this game.

This game is currently in play testing form, but the designers certainly seem to have high hopes for it! You appear to construct your character from a playbook, that is heavily themed to make each PC feel unique, powerful and dynamic. Right now there appears to be google sheet versions of the playbooks, which hold Quickstart characters for people who want to get a bit of a peek into the game before committing to purchasing. One of the cutest things in this game is the existence of buddy beasts! I have no idea how they work but the art for them is very very cute.

Storm Drain Mermaids, by Papertigress.

You are a feral mermaid. You and your sister sirens (the other players) live in the local city/urban waterways, each having a territory and rallying together in flood/drought/calamity situations for survival as needed…

Now is one of those times.

This is a simple one-page game that can be printed off and double as a character sheet for each player. Your mermaid has 5 stats, and a territory that “belongs” to you and therefore gives you an advantage when you act while within it. Each player also has a pool of “scales” that can be used to improve their chances with every roll, or to inflict penalties on an opposing force. The game feels balanced between chance and the spending of resources to ensure your character succeeds a healthy amount of the time. There’s also roll tables a-plenty here, to help the GM come up with ideas as the players swim through the world.

Under the Sea, by rzut-na-angielski

Over the years the story of The Little Mermaid and her horrid end was a cautionary tale for young merfolk. But you - a group of teenage friends - think that Ariel was right. Humans are sexy. Especially the one you’ve been stalking for the past month. If you can’t go up there, then you’ll have to make sure that your human gets to live under the sea with all of you. Play to hatch a polyglamorous plan to get your human some gills AND MAKE THEM FALL HEAD OVER FINS FOR ALL OF YOU!

A goofy game about falling in love and trying to get your crush to like you back, Under the Sea is 2 pages long and grants your character three simple stats: Fins, Heart and Mind. You also carry with you some kind of magic, although how you wield that magic appears to be up to player interpretation.

The game has a very clear endgame scenario: your Human mast have gills and/or be in love with you by the end of the game, or they will die / return to the surface world, never to be wooed again. The course of the game runs over three stages: finding your human, approaching them, and bringing them to the sea (where hopefully, they will fall in love).

Guardians of the Sea, by Ezra Tellington.

"Mermaids used to live in harmony with nature and, for the most parts, humans. Sure, homo sapiens sapiens was both nutritious and easy to charm, but mermaids held no animosity towards their prey. In the last century, though, everything changed: oil spills, plastics, whole species of plants and animals eradicated, what was one day an underwater paradise began to look like a wet wasteland. Mermaid population began to shrink and the remaining ones moved to further removed regions, where humans and their trash could not find them.

In the anarchist society of mermaids emerged harsh discussions: should they wage an actual war against humanity to defend their ecosystem? Some individuals insist that not all humans are at fault, but this opinion is getting less and less popular as the marine animals die out."

Guardians of the Sea looks to be a short game, approximately 9 pages long. The character skills appear to exist as rows of pips, similar to World of Darkness, which might be easy to manage visually. The game itself is mostly about capitalism and ecology; a war rising from the ocean as the onset of climate change makes your characters’ homes uninhabitable. If you like stories that have a little bit of revenge in them, you might like this game.

A Salt Kiss Remains by Whimsy Machine.

A Salt Kiss Remains is game of mermaids, magic, and monsters in the great open sea and the land it crashes upon. We play as denizens of the ocean or other aquatic environments, exploring and protecting this world. These adventures can be lighthearted and fun, exploring sunken ruins of ancient humans, falling in love, and building families, and they can reach like the sea ever deeper. In these dark depths, we explore the damage humans cause to the oceans, what it means to be predator and prey, and the unfathomable mysteries of this vast world.

A Salt Kiss Remains may still be in alpha, but it is FULL of moves, in a way that feels slightly reminiscent of Apocalypse World. Each move references a specific situation in the game, and some of them specifically use a resource called corruption in order to help your mermaids to magical things. This includes (but is not limited to), sapping all life from a location, reading the entrails of dead creatures as a form of augury, and warping the forms of other creatures to your will.

The game also comes with a set of introductory adventures, which may be helpful for GM’s who want a solid place to start, or even just some inspiration for the kinds of stories you can tell with A Salt Kiss Remains.

Radioactive Mermaids of the Burning Sargasso, by kumada1.

In the year 2020, the world was veiled in darkness. The wind stopped. The sea was wild. The earth began to rot. And humanity went into decline. Five thousand and fifty three years have passed since then. It is now the year 2021. Life clings desperately to the ocean.

Two things are true: you are a mermaid, and you are rad.

Specifically, you are a radiotrophic being, feeding on the hazardous background noise of the universe to fuel your cool powers.

In the oceanic zone where you live, the Burning Sargasso, you are unique among lifeforms. Most creatures here are radiation-resistant, but you actively absorb and neutralize it. This makes you something of a keystone species. It also gives you potent science-magic powers, and one heck of an obligation.

Radioactive Mermaids of the Sargasso revolves around building an enclave in the sargasso and improving it, for both your sake and the sake of the wildlife around you. You’ll collaboratively define the elements of your enclave, and work together to make it flourish. Tending to the garden doles out Tedium to the caretakers, which can force your mermaid to leave the enclave if they accrue too much - eventually freedom becomes too alluring to resist. Your character might also accrue something called Rads, which don’t harm you, but can be used to fuel your science-magic powers.

If you want a unique take on mermaids and a collective, clear goal, you might want to check out Radioactive Mermaids of the Sargasso.

Seven Deadly Sirens by Litza Bronwyn.

In this game, you play one of seven types of mermaids and roll with seven deadly sins to power your basic and special moves in order to summon ships, lure men to you, devour their hearts, and collect their treasures.

Previously released, this second version of the game contains updated information based on playtesting feedback, beautiful stock imagery, and new formatting.

Each of the seven playbooks comes with a section for describing your character, filling out the bonuses for your seven sins (used as stats), relationship questions, special moves, and a place to keep track of your wounds, experience, how much treasure you've collected, and how many hearts you've devoured (which you can use to enhance more powerful moves).

Seven Deadly Sirens feels the most gritty on this list, with bonuses and negatives for various moves being determined by your Sins, which measure things such as your desire for sex, food, possessions, etc. You are all different kinds of mermaids, inspired by various sea creatures, granting you unique moves that match your playbook - such as the mer-eel, who is slippery and has a unique relationship with lightning.

This game also highlights relationships, both between the PCs and the men they will encounter. Men are cruel and lovely; they are potential lovers, victims, opponents, and so much more. Will you consume them? Or will they consume you? Play to find out.

[zeb-z]

jrwi riptide 115

So the elephant in the room. Grandberry traitor. It’s Caspian or John right? Those are the two we know, the two we are attached to, it’s not just gonna be random new recruit #7 out of the unnamed folks they’ve picked up. It’s not that one healer from Joaldo who joined them that I can’t remember his name right now.

John has made it clear since he revolted from the Navy that he’s kept up with the Grandberry pirates, that all he wants is to join them. That could be a flag. The fact that he was part of his own “special unit” or something along those lines before going outlaw. There’s the journal of his they found back at Zero that they never truly read through and tossed after reading the first poem, which might have had definite answers. And this is small, but he was really protective over keeping the pin from Jayson Ferin.

But the block throws a wrench in it, because why would they throw him in their highest security prison and let him freeze? Unless somehow John was sure without a shadow of a doubt they would have come back for him, and they weighed the risk and reward. The Ferin family drama could have thrown a wrench in their plans enough to have thrown away any plans on easier escape. It’s plausible, but it just is too much of a discrepancy. And John wears his heart on his sleeve, since episode zero he has, it’s hard to think of him as the traitor.

Then there’s Caspian, who has been with Lizzie since almost the beginning, from Shadowbeard’s crew. It’s where they met, and they both survived and escaped Shatter Skull massacre together. But that means he was there for the fall of Shadowbeard, and Ava Ferin’s death. And while it’s pretty much said by Lizzie she thinks it’s Ava who betrayed her, with everything else said, and with what Jay remembers and loves of her sister, it just doesn’t quite track. There was an ulterior motive to kill Ava in the same fight, ordered by someone higher up, playing into the propaganda and fear mongering against pirates and pro Raft agenda. And he knows Edyn Tidestrider, he was the one to reunite her and Gillion. He has her number. And she is gills deep in double-triple agent Raft bullshit.

But could he have been such a double agent all this time, since Shatter Skull? After all his blood sweat and tears, all the weight he’s lifted for Lizzie? All the Edyn stuff could easily be a coincidence, considering their Undersea connection. And he’s not quite heart on his sleeve honest as John has been, but he’s chill like that, he’s kindhearted and patient. And after everything, and I mean everything, he’s done - for Gillion especially - giving him his sword, reuniting him with his sister, daily phone calls, teaching him spells and moves, being the first friend especially from the undersea and reconnecting him with their culture - it’s so hard to think of him as the traitor.

There’s proof enough for both of them. But everything considered, with how undercover and long term the black book missions are, how even Jay had been a spy at one point - Caspian makes the most sense, doesn’t he.

[illarian-rambling]

can we get i an oc tour pretty please?

Sure!

Up first, we've got Izjik Meautammera, from Honor's Outcasts

(I'm so serious when I say these memes are the best refs I have)

She's 26 and a halawemavar selkie, which is just a selkie with catfish seasoning. Out of the four Outcasts, she's somehow both the most responsible and the most reckless. Her sense for emotion is keen, so she does her best to help everyone work through their pain, even when someone else might not notice they're upset. However, she's also the most likely to wrestle a greased elephant seal for a free beer. Let's call her the dad friend. She has a connection to a mysterious entity known as End as well, though she doesn't know much about it and would like to keep it that way. All she knows is that it gives her the ability to kill what shouldn't be able to die. Because of this ability, she was imprisoned in an undersea oubliette for eight years, alongside the man who would become her closest friend.

A man who's name is Sepo Kaiacynthus!

Sepo is a siren, though he can assume a human-like form as Izjik can. He was a priest to the god of song and drowned sailors until he burnt down the siren empress's palace and killed her daughter as revenge for the unfair execution of his brother. As punishment for this, his tongue was cut out (negating his vocal magic) and he was tossed into prison, where he met Izjik. Personality-wise, Sepo is prickly, easily aggravated, and generally grumpy. He loves to argue, even if he'd never admit it, and has a nobleman's sense of refinement tempered with a healthy dose of having lived in a pit for eight years. Together with Izjik, he took in a runaway sorcerer girl, by the name of...

Twenari Undetasib!

The daughter of the most successful smuggler on the Janazi sea, Twenari was raised as a tool more than a child due to her prodigious sorcery. When she finally broke under the strain, she ran away, pursued by her mother’s agents. She's a genius and not only a naturally talented sorcerer, but an ambitious one as well. She seeks to understand magic in all its facets, down to the most minute level. This can lead her down some dangerous paths, as she cares more about learning than her own wellbeing. Other than that though, she's a perfectly sensible and pragmatic girl (probably more so than the adult Outcasts). She can be rather awkward in social situations, as she's used to being a business asset, not a twelve-year-old. However, thankfully, she's not the face of the crew.

That distinction would go to one Djek Kagura

Djek is a 19 year old human who grew up on the streets of Fayuki after his parents abandoned him during a famine in an effort to save their six other children. This has left him with some pretty severe people pleasing problems, as he's terrified of being abandoned again. When he was fifteen, he fell in with the Tunnel Wasps (Twenari’s mother's smuggling operation), and was taken under the wing of a woman named Tyche, who forced him to commit many unsavory acts, including trying to recapture their boss's runaway daughter. Djek has a class clown sort of vibe. He's always trying to get a laugh, even if it's only as a distraction while he picks your pocket. Deep down though, he has a sensitive heart and longs for meaningful connections. He, like Twenari, is a sorcerer, though his magic is pretty measly compared to the average, and laughable compared to Twenari’s.

And that's the Outcasts quartet! They're a cute found family whose favorite hobbies include religious terrorism and uncovering maddening eldritch truths. The other group (just the MG crew, no catchy name) exists 20 years down the road from the adventures of the Outcasts, and though not directly connected, have a few similar encounters. Without further ado, here they are!

Up first is Astra DuClaire, the best witch of the borderlands

Or, at least, she says she's the best. Astra is a self-taught rune mage (hence the title witch, not mage, since she has no license) from humble beginnings. She seeks to pay off her mothers' debtor contracts, thereby releasing them from service in debtor's prison. Her personality might best be described as forceful. Astra is a loudmouthed braggart with an opinion on everything and a chip on her shoulder the size of a mountain. She believes deep down that she'll never be a truly good mage with her subpar education, so she covers this up with arrogance. Her story starts when she discovers a mysterious robot broken on the side of the road and decides to fix him up.

Said robot goes by the name of Mashal (surname Darezsho, but he doesn't know that at first)

Mashal doesn't remember anything before waking up in Astra's wagon. All he knows is his name, that he's lost, and that anything having to do with magic fills him with terrified paranoia and an urge towards violence. He seeks to discover what happened to him and who he is. Astra decides to aid him in this, and the two of them develop a friendship and later a romance on this quest. Mashal himself is rather soft-spoken, with a gentle heart that struggles to make sense of his violent instincts around magic. He has a talent for art and swordsmanship, and though his timidness can come across as weak, anyone who pushes him finds his morals are iron hard.

The third piece of this puzzle is Detevtive Ivander Montane

Born to a wealthy banking family, Ivander was always intended to follow along into the family business. When he was sixteen, he learned the truth of his family's dominance over the city of Unity's finances; the Montanes had made a deal with the god of greed. The contract Ivander signed with this god gave him the ability to call on miracles in exchange for his service. Only, when he couldn't bear hawking payday loans and convincing desperate fathers to sell their children as factory indentures any longer, he ran away. This default on his divine contract caused a curse to befall him. Slowly, Ivander's flesh is being eaten away and turned into smoke. This leaves him in terrible pain, though he covers his disfigurement with an illusion. Now 30 years old and disillusioned, Ivander works for the Unity Bureau of Arcane Investigation. His last hope to not die and be condemned to hell lays in mysterious killer known to strip the magic from their victims. Despite the horrors he's endured, there's still some good deep down in Ivander's heart. He's an incorrigible gossip, a selfish fop, and avoids emotional intimacy like the plague, however, he still loosely holds his childhood dream of helping people.

The next two characters are introduced in book 2. Sadly, I don't have funny little portraits for them yet.

First up is Elsind Cavernsight!

Elsind is a 20 year old changeling working for the Salis Legion of the People (a Skysheerian revolutionary group) as an infiltrator and spy. In Skysheer, changelings are frequently exploited, and like many of her kind, Elsind was kidnapped from a life with her loving elven mother at 13 to be used as a marquis's court freak. When they were 18, an SLP cell robbed the mansion they were kept in, and Elsind took a chance and escaped with them. Since then, he's been a loyal soldier fighting for his nation's freedom from tyranny. You might expect such a figure to be tough and jaded, but Elsind is nothing of the sort. They're a chatterbox, cry when nervous, and can't help but empathize with nearly everyone. They also have a deep appreciation for cheap romance novels.

On the other side of the coin, we have Duchon Avymere Kalaphon Spearsong III

Avymere is the Duchon of Salis (gender neutral form of Duke/Duchess), only child of the Archduke Eluan Spearsong. They are 153 years old and have been expertly manipulating the Salis gentry for nearly all of that time. To the court, they are a kindhearted, if ditzy, noble, who seems content to spend the rest of their days making social calls and practicing their odd martial arts hobby. In private, however, Avymere is a peerless spy who uses their unassuming persona to gather information for their father, to whom they are faultlessly loyal. They view themself as a servant of their people - more a tool than a person with wants and dreams. Despite their good intentions though, there is a disconnect between Avymere and the reality of Skysheer. They would consider easing tariffs to be a generous act, when in truth, most Skysheerians couldn't care less about foreign goods, and are more concerned with not starving or freezing to death.

And that's all the main characters! This turned out to be longer than I expected, but please let me know if you have any questions or comments. I also have their full bios (not Avymere or Elsind though, still gotta get on that) linked in my intro post, if you'd like a more in-depth look at anyone. Thanks for the ask, and you have yourself a bitchin day!

[ceescedasticity]

Silmarillion war crimes

(Finally motivated to make this because someone said the Silmarillion elves committed 'all the war crimes', and while I know, I know they were just exaggerating for comic effect it still drives me up the wall.)

First piece of housekeeping: Technically speaking war crimes are war crimes because they were defined as such in various treaties. You aren't technically violating the Geneva Conventions if you aren't signatory to them. But, they do often get talked about more like universally applicable rules.

Second piece of housekeeping: I think no one is actually accusing the Fëanorians of, like, cutting undersea communications cables or impersonating the Red Cross. There are some war crimes which are obviously not applicable and I'm not going to discuss them.

Third piece of housekeeping: There are a lot of provisions in the Geneva Conventions. Someone else can go through all of them if they like. So, I'm going to go with this list gleaned from the section of the Wikipedia page on war crimes about the international criminal court:

Willful killing, or causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health

Torture or inhumane treatment

Unlawful wanton destruction or appropriation of property

Forcing a prisoner of war to serve in the forces of a hostile power

Depriving a prisoner of war of a fair trial

Unlawful deportation, confinement or transfer

Taking hostages

Directing attacks against civilians

Killing a surrendered combatant

Misusing a flag of truce, a flag or uniform of the enemy

Settlement of occupied territory

Deportation of inhabitants of occupied territory

Using poison weapons

Using civilians as shields

Using child soldiers

Firing upon a Combat Medic with clear insignia.

Summary execution

Rape, sexual slavery, forced prostitution or forced pregnancy

Fourth piece of housekeeping: I'm not just going to look at the Fëanorians. That's not fair. There's elves vs. other elves, elves vs. dwarves, dwarves vs. elves, Angband vs. everyone, everyone vs. Angband, etc. I should probably define some of these groups starting out but I'm not going to.

So. This will be long.

1. Willful killing, or causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health

I'm a little puzzled about this one, actually. I thought that was just… assumed to be part of war???

Killing as more than a means to some non-killing-related end???

At any rate I'm inclined to say everyone conducting war in the Silmarillion did this. I don't think anyone was trying to minimize military casualties.

Edit: Have been informed it's meant to be killing of people protected under the conventions. In which case it's a lot more questionable. For some people.

2. Torture or inhumane treatment

Angband did this, obviously.

A lot.

Really a lot.

We don't have any record of any elves doing it, or dwarves, or Edain.

…Except Túrin's outlaws but they're kind of a weird circumstance.

3. Unlawful wanton destruction or appropriation of property

(Seems like there might be a lot of wiggle room in 'unlawful'…)

Well, anyway, Angband also did this, obviously, a lot.

The dwarven sack of Menegroth counts as this.

Seizure of the swan-ships arguably counts as this one, though I'd actually hesitate on that one. I think that wasn't a war crime, that was a crime crime, because they weren't at war.

If the Fëanorians scavenged from Menegroth before leaving that probably counts, but that's speculation.

The Host of the West did destroy Angband, if you want to count that.

Edit: And the Fëanorians destroyed the Havens of Sirion.

4. Forcing a prisoner of war to serve in the forces of a hostile power

Angband, yet again. It's a little less obvious here since it's not like they put prisoners in the regular army unless you count orcs, but brainwashing prisoners and sending them out as agents probably counts.

Also their treatment of prisoners of war generally violates a lot of stuff in the Third Geneva Convention.

I do not think we have grounds to say anyone else did this, partially because I'm not sure we have grounds to say anyone else ever took any prisoners.

Elrond and Elros are a gray area, but if they ended up fighting with the Fëanorians there's no reason to believe it was against anyone but Angband.

Oh, and I suppose the Host of the West took prisoners, but I'm sure they didn't do this.

5. Depriving a prisoner of war of a fair trial

I mean, you could say that prisoners of war in Angband got the same kind of trial that anyone else in Angband got?

But otherwise Angband again, yeah.

The Host of the West… I'm not sure. Do you count the judgments of Ëonwë as a fair trial?

Everyone else: No prisoners, not an issue.

…Look I don't know what to say about Túrin and Mîm. I'm inclined to say a lot of the outlaws' bad behavior was crime crime not war crime. I don't know.

6. Unlawful deportation, confinement or transfer

Angband back in the definitely column here.

I don't think anyone else is. Sure, Menegroth and Sirion were abandoned, but it wasn't because the Fëanorians stuck around chasing people away.

7. Taking hostages

Angband, explicitly with Maedhros and I think implicitly elsewhere.

The Easterlings serving Angband also explicitly took hostages.

The Fëanorians took Elrond and Elros. It doesn't seem to have been terribly effective, but it was hostage-taking.

Celegorm and Curufin holding Lúthien could be this if you consider the Fëanorians to have been at war with Doriath at that point, but that's sort of dubious? Maybe a war crime, maybe a crime crime.

8. Directing attacks against civilians

Angband.

The Fëanorians attacked the entire communities of Menegroth and the Havens of Sirion. They may or may not have made any attempt to avoid deliberately killing noncombatants in one or both cases, but they were unavoidably attacks on civilians.

The dwarven attack on Menegroth is similarly an attack on civilians.

If you consider any orcs, trolls, balrogs, vampires, werewolves, etc. to be civilians, then the Host of the West almost certainly did this. You can argue that none of them counted as civilians; you can also argue that the Host of the West managed not to attack e.g. orc children, but I don't think that's very likely.

The Easterlings serving Angband did have civilians, but I think it's more likely the Host of the West avoided attacking those.

9. Killing a surrendered combatant

I don't think anyone is directly attested as doing this?

The overall impression one gets of the First Age is a general deficit of surrender.

But: if anyone surrendered to Angband's forces rather than trying to fight or escape until they physically couldn't, I'm sure some of them were killed (and some weren't, because Angband wanted slaves).

If any orcs/werewolves/vampires/trolls/dragons/balrogs dared to surrender rather than fight to the death or escape, I'm sure some to most of them were killed.

If any dwarves of Nogrod tried to surrender to Beren and the Ents, they were killed.

We don't know about the dwarven sack of Menegroth or any of the Kinslayings (on either side).

The Host of the West accepted at least some surrenders, but we don't know if it was all of them.

10. Misusing a flag of truce, a flag or uniform of the enemy

Angband doesn't get much of an opportunity for this because no one trusts their truces and it's not like switching flags or uniforms would help, insofar as there are uniforms.

But they did propose a negotiation under false pretenses.

Of course the Fëanorians also agreed to it under false pretenses.

The Silmaril Quest is absolutely full of people disguising themselves as Angband's forces. If you want to get pedantic about it uniforms and flags were not the key part of those disguises, but I think it's the same idea?

Edit: Unless you want to count them as spies, not soldiers. There are different rules for spies, which is to say I don't think there are any rules about spies, either what they can do or what can be done to them. I think that may be a better frame for this.

I feel like the Easterlings who announced their allegiance change mid-battle may also count as this?

11. Settlement of occupied territory

Angband generally prefers the scorched-earth approach, but they do settle their Easterlings in occupied territory.

No one else does this.

Like the Fëanorians had enough people left to 'occupy' anything.

(Or I guess arguably the Host of the West occupies Angband but not for very long and they definitely don't settle there.)

12. Deportation of inhabitants of occupied territory

Angband does some of this in the form of enslaving them back in, uh, Angband, but it's true that mostly it depopulates by slaughter and most of the survives flee with no deportation as such. It doesn't deport the Edain.

Again, most others have no occupied territory.

Though everyone does have to leave Beleriand. :( Should that be attributed to the Host of the West?

13. Using poison weapons

Angband: yes.

Everyone else: No evidence of this. I wouldn't necessarily rule out them trying it against Angband if they thought it would work.

Although I suppose you could argue that weapons inimical to Angband by nature could count as poison…? Naahhh.

(Edit: Eöl used poisoned weapons, but that was murder not combat.)

14. Using civilians as shields

I don't think Angband did this one, actually?

Edain civilians as hostages, yeah, but Angband didn't have much in the way of its own civilians and didn't expect anyone to try to avoid hitting them.

Angband's Easterlings most likely tried to keep their civilians out of the way like sensible people.

15. Using child soldiers

Whether it was possible for Angband to do this with orcs depends on your interpretation.

Everyone else…

Not child soldiers in the 'take them from their families, indoctrinate them, send them out for shock value' sense.

But child soldiers in the sense of 'people we would consider children are considered adults and treated as such', yeah.

And I expect also in the sense of 'people who are not considered adults and who no one really wants fighting, but there is no true place of safety and no one wants them helpless, either, so'.

16. Firing upon a Combat Medic with clear insignia

Existence of combat medics with clear insignia is uncertain.

If they existed I'm sure Angband fired on them and tbh I wouldn't bet against anyone else doing so.

17. Summary execution

Okay, this can mean killing combatants who surrendered again, but to avoid double-counting let's say we mean non-combatants.

Well, Angband, regardless.

It would not surprise me if the Fëanorians did this in Menegroth, considering that Celegorm's servants expected to get away with murdering children, but that's not definite.

18. Rape, sexual slavery, forced prostitution or forced pregnancy

Angband's Easterlings did this in Dor-lómin.

The rest of Angband…

It seems likely? In one context or another. But I don't think there are direct statements on it.

—Or actually I guess they made promises to Maeglin about Idril! Not sure if that should count when they didn't actually do anything and I'm not sure they ever meant to.

Eöl and Aredhel in the worst interpretation was not part of a war. It was a crime crime and a diplomatic disaster.

Celegorm and Curufin's behavior towards Lúthien was only questionably part of a war and I'm not sure whether it qualifies here, so I'm going to say no.

Eighteen in the somewhat arbitrary list…

Fëanorians: Definitely five four (1, 3, 7, 8, 10), possibly/arguably as many as nine (1, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17).

Non-Fëanorian Exiles: Definitely two (1, 10), possibly/arguably as many as five (1, 9, 10, 15, 16).

Iathrim+Lúthien&Beren: Definitely two (1, 10), possibly/arguably as many as five (1, 9, 10, 15, 16).

Dwarves of Nogrod: Definitely three two (1, 3, 8), possibly/arguably as many as five (1, 3, 8, 9, 16).

Host of the West: Definitely one (1), possibly/arguably as many as seven (1, 3, 5, 8, 9, 12, 16) (that's what you get for winning).

Angband and associates: Definitely thirteen (1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18), possibly/arguably seventeen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18).

Admittedly it's silly to look at Angband at all when it was in a constant state of total war against basically everybody…

[pareidoliaonthemove]

X-20's Final Assignment

Surface Agent X-20 is replaced by a ‘more reliable’ agent. On his first mission as the mysterious new surface agent’s subordinate, X-20 encounters complications – and Titan has already warned him that he will not 'fix up' X-20’s mistakes anymore.

Whumptober 2024 prompt. Day 3 SET UP FOR FAILURE: fingerprints | wrongfully arrested| “I warned you”

Warning: This story deals with a character who is enslaved, and a who is subjected to death threats. If these are sensitive topics for you, please take this into account before reading.

Surface Agent X-20 trembled in Titan’s antechamber.

As the marine minutes dripped away and there was no command to enter the throne room, X-20’s anxiety increased. Trembling gave way to hand-wringing, hand-wringing to pacing, and pacing was joined first by hand-wringing, and then by whimpering.

Titan was like the mighty trans-ocean currents that could sweep the unwary from their homes to the distant seas. And that was to his own people. For a member of one of the other undersea races, and a slave at that, Titan was nothing less than the bringer of death.

And that death could come in myriad forms: the tortures of the lobster rack, the fire coral, the swordfish chamber, or the dreaded death of a thousand stings. Or even worse: to be set to dry.

That was part of X-20s punishment as Surface Agent: to be forced to live above the seas. Titan allowed him limited access to the life giving waters of the ocean, and the relief of times like this, summoned to the depths of the undersea world, was off-set by the torture of the fear that an audience invariably brought. Was this the time Titan was finally going to order his death?

Titan’s Surface Agents rarely liked long lives. Ordered to the dry world of the Terraneans, to act as Titan’s eyes, ears and hands among them. Most died quickly, either from drying, or discovered and killed by the Terraneans. Or executed by Titan.

X-20 had lasted longer than any other Surface Agent assigned to the Island of Lemoy, so close to Marineville and it’s submarine fleet. Not that Titan saw it like that. X-20’s plans never seemed to succeed, but he got closer to success than any others, and that fact alone kept him alive.

But there was always the risk that today was the day that Titan’s patience – as short-lived and fickle as it was – would run out.

Or that Titan would consult Teufel – his false god – and he would be condemned by the random actions of the enormous fish.

It was a more than a few marine hours before the Aquaphibian who served as Titan’s major domo gestured for him to enter the Throne Room.

Heart in his throat, and trembling like a kelp forest in a hurricane, X-20 bowed his way into the Throne Room before grovelling at Titan’s feet.

“Oh mighty Titan,” he whined, “your humble servant awaits your orders.”

Titan did not bid him rise, but that was not to be expected.

“I have given you many orders, slave,” Titan sneered. “And every time you have failed to carry them out.”

By the denizens of the deepest trenches, this was it. Titan was going to have him killed.

“Many times I have granted you the continuation of your pathetic life,” Titan continued. “But no more. Your pathetic bungling tires me. I now have the services of a new Surface Agent. One who is uniquely placed to fulfill my orders and finally destroy Marineville, Stingray, and the infernal Troy Tempest!”

He couldn’t help it, X-20 began whimpering, begging, pleading for his life … despite knowing that there was little hope of changing Titan’s mind.

“Silence, fool!” the voice thundered out, and X-20 immediately stopped speaking, his words freezing in his throat. “If I had a mind to kill you, I would not first bring you here to tell you – you would go straight to your assigned doom.”

Titan paused to accept a drink from a servant, calmly drinking as X-20 tried to calm down, to assimilate the news of his continued survival.

“However,” Titan eventually continued, “I will no longer tolerate your incompetence, or your presence. You will remain on the Island of Lemoy and follow the instructions of my new Surface Agent, and should you fail …” Titan glared … “the resources of Titanica will not be deployed to save your miserable carcass. Begone from my sight forever, miserable worm!”

X-20 bowed his way back out of the Throne Room, cringing and mumbling his thanks and praising Titan. Back in the antechamber, an Aquaphibian indicated for him to follow and led him to another room with a large communications suite, and a large container.

The Aquaphibian activated the communications suite and left the room, leaving X-20 to wait for the party on the other end to connect the call.

Finally the screen flared to life, a dark background outlining an even darker silhouette. A Terranean, by the form, and X-20 wondered at the circumstances that allowed Titan to accept working with a Terranean. He looked at the shadowed figure carefully – any information about his mysterious new boss that he could glean might be important. It was impossible to make out any distinguishing features, or gender – X-20 had trouble telling one Terranean from another, anyway. But the silhouette had familiar features, the flared ‘fins’ on the shoulders was almost as familiar to him as his own features. It was the distinctive uniform of the W.A.S.P.s – the hated denizens of Marineville, and the aggressors of numerous undersea encounters.

The voice was artificially modified, and X-20 could not determine any individual attributes. He listened carefully as his new master outlined the plan he had put in motion, and the part that X-20 was to play in it.

It was an ambitious plan, and X-20 was to gain access to the Terraneans main computer centre, and disable certain functions. The box contained a W.A.S.P. uniform, identification documents, security pass, and biomasking ‘fingerprints’ to be worn on the ends of his fingers. Who knew that Terraneans could tell each another apart by the skin patterns on their fingers?

If this disguise did not work, if the security documents did not work X-20 would be captured by the Terraneans. And if they did not kill him as a spy, he would be locked away in one of their prisons, far from the life-giving waters of the oceans.

X-20 had a bad feeling about this.

The bad feeling was justified.

X-20 sat in the small Terranean prison at Marineville, and wondered what had given him away.

The answer came sooner that expected. The leader of the W.A.S.P.s – the Terranean in the ‘hover chair’ – Commander Shore was let into the small room. He eyed X-20 with cold anger. “What have you got to say for yourself, Lieutenant?”

Lieutenant was the rank attached to the identity he had been given for this mission. X-20 did not respond.

“Did you know that the Security Guard you attacked died?”

That got a start out of X-20. Someone he had attacked? Died?

“What were you hoping to steal, Lieutenant?”

Oh. That made sense. The identity he had been given to use had attacked and killed someone. X-20 wondered if the new Surface Agent knew that. X-20 still didn't’ say anything.

“Nothing to say for yourself, eh?” Commander Shore eyed him speculatively. “How about we give you a little time to yourself to think about the answers you’re going to give us.”

He turned and motored his way back out the room, the door slamming with dismal finality behind him.

By Terranean standards, his captivity was not by definition, cruel. But Terranean standards and Terranean needs were not the same of those of the undersea races.

He was provided meals three times a day, and he was certain that, by Terranean standards, the food was wholesome and nutritious. Unfortunately it was not the same for him. And while he was given access to plentiful water to drink and bathe, the humans exclusively used fresh water, and treated it with chemicals, all of which burned at him. He was a creature of the oceans, he need the salt.

He was drying. Slowly, and painfully, he was drying.

Each day, Commander Shore came to see if he was prepared to answer the questions to which X-20 had no answers.

Each day, X-20 said nothing. Which was both easier and harder. Easier, because he had less and less strength every day. Harder because everyday the temptation to reveal his true nature and beg for his life grew.

He held his silence, because to do so would mean that Titan would go from not acting to save him, to actively trying to kill him. It was a choice of deaths, but it was X-20’s choice. Finally, here at the end, he was free to make his own choice.

X-20 awoke unexpectedly, feeling – strangely – better than he had ever since being made Surface Agent. Looking around, he discovered he was submerged in a large tank of sea-water, an examination showed that there were several small heavily protected vents that presumably led to the ocean.

One corner of the tank was generously stocked with an artificial garden of seaweed, crustaceans and fish. He fell up on the food ravenously, and once satiated, continued his examination of his surroundings. A large, clear panel was set in one wall, a small plain room with a couple of uncomfortable looking chairs was on the other side, with what looked like an open sided cargo elevator attached to one wall

As watched the door opened and Commander Shore motored in, followed by his daughter; Troy Tempest; Tempest’s companion the Terranean known as ‘Phones’ with the strange devices permanently attached to his head; the accursed Princess Marina, daughter of Aphony of Pacifica; and an unknown Terranean wearing the white clothing that designated him as a Terranean healer.

Shore the elder approached the observation panel and nodded in satisfaction when he saw X-20 watching him. He pointed at X-20 and upwards, then gestured to himself and his companions and upwards again. X-20 understood. They were all to go upwards, and probably whatever was up there, they would be able to talk.

X-20 briefly considered refusing to comply, but ultimately decided that it would be in his best interests to cooperate. For now.

Swimming upwards, he found a large platform with a short ladder attached to the wall next to it. He climbed out and stood watching from behind bars as his captors rode up to his level in the cargo elevator.

Shore motored to the bars and appraised him thoughtfully. X-20 waited.

“I’m sorry it took us so long to realise how sick you were.”

Those were not the words X-20 had expected and he stared, shocked.

“I hope you’re feeling better now?” It was a question.

“Yes, thank you. I feel much better for having been submerged in the ocean’s waters.” His voice was desiccated, harsh from his drying sickness and disuse.

Shore nodded, apparently pleased with the answer. “I trust the foods provided were to your liking. Marina indicated what species would be appropriate, but if there is something more to your taste, I’m sure we can provide it for you.”

Mutely X-20 shook his head.

Shore nodded, satisfied.

“Your disguise was very good,” Shore continued. “Almost perfect, in fact. It was only when you collapsed and the doctors tried to treat you that we discovered that you were weren’t human.”

X-20 waited.

“And your security pass, and identity documents. They were beyond perfect. There was only one way that you could have gotten those – if you were given by someone who already had access to our security system.”

X-20 waited. This was not surprising to him. He had already figured out that the new ‘Surface Agent’ was a traitor within Marineville, even though he didn’t know the Terranean’s identity.

“So it’s very strange that the identity you were using was that of a Lieutenant who is wanted for attempted theft, and murder.”

Shore sat, considering him. The moment stretched out.

“Marina here recognised you.” It was both surprising and not. Before she had been rescued, she had seen him many times as he had reported to Titan. That she had paid enough attention to him to recall him now was … unexpected.

Shore continued. “She filled us in on your history and your … circumstances.”

X-20’s heart sank. He had been hoping that the Terraneans would not discover the exact nature of his past actions. They would know what he had done to act against them. The tiny hope that he had been cautiously nurturing since waking up in the tank abruptly withered to nothing.

He was still doomed.

“I imagine quite a lot of the strange goings on around here might be attributed to your actions.”

X-20 closed his eyes. The bright light was hurting them anyway – less harsh than the sun, but still too much compared to the cool light filtered by the oceans that he was born to.

“Under ordinary circumstances, that would make you a spy.”

Ordinary circumstances? What other circumstances were there for a spy?

“But considering what Marina has told us – that Titan holds you as a slave, that failure to comply would mean your death…” Shore blew out a breath in that curious Terranean way. “Well, I think maybe we could come to an agreement.”

X-20 opened his eyes. An agreement with the Terraneans?

“What kind of agreement?” He almost said Terranean by reflex, but managed to bite the word back in time.

Shore edged closer, the front of his contraption almost touching the bars. “We’ve got a rat in the ranks,” he said. “You’ve been in contact with them. You could help us find them. Help us flush him out.”

X-20 waited. The must want more.

“You’ve been coming in and out of here almost at will. I’d appreciate–” the word had an edge to it, this part was apparently non-negotiable– “it if you would work with our security to plug these holes.”

X-20 waited. Shore continued

“Any information you could give us about Titan – what he knows about us, locations of his bases, who are his allies and enemies, his history. That kind of thing would be invaluable to us.”

“The locations of his bases,” X-20 repeated bitterly. “So you can destroy them. And destroy countless undersea dwellers in the process. You want me to help you to destroy my people. My innocent people.”

“No!” The word came from multiple voices. Shore held up a hand for silence.

“We would never – never – put innocent lives at risk. Not intentionally. If we’ve done harm, it was never our intention.”

“Does the storm intend to fling it’s victims on the rocks? They are no less dead for the lack of intent,” X-20 countered.

Shore sighed, heavily. “I take your point. We have a saying with a similar meaning: ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions.’ But we’ve never made an intentional attack against one of Titan’s bases. Anytime we’ve fought, we’ve blundered into the situation and been fired upon first. If you work with us, we could make sure we stay away from these places. And if we need to – and this is an absolutely last resort – we could, with your information, send in a tactical strike team. Make sure there’s no collateral damage. Hell, we might even be able to avoid killing Titan’s people!”

“And this is all I get from this agreement? A maybe-stay of execution for my people?”

Shore shook his head. “No. Titan’s abandoned you. He doesn’t care if you live to get back to your station, or dies here. How much do you want to bet that if he finds out you’re still alive here at Marineville, he – or his traitor in our ranks – will try to rectify that? We’ll protect you, either way, but it’ll be in your best interests to help us. We could offer you a better quality of life. Help us, and you could stay here, or return to live under the sea, far from Titan’s influence.”

“Titan rules all the world’s oceans. There would be nowhere safe from him.” And didn’t that thought hurt. Marooned for all time on the dry land.

“Titan rules all the world’s oceans. Now. But not with the consent of many of the ruled.” X-20 knew immediately that it was Marina speaking to him, using the telepathy common among her people. With her hands she made the gestures that the Terraneans understood, translating her conversation with them.

“My father, Aphony, Ruler of Pacificia, would free his people from the tyranny of Titan, but for our long pacifism, we lack the weapons and soldiers to do so. Secretly, we stand with the World Aquanaut Security Patrol, for to do so openly now would be to invite our destruction. We provide what information we can, but it is limited. Help the W.A.S.P.s – help Pacificia – and I swear by the throne I will one day sit upon that you will always have a place of honour and refuge among the people of Pacificia.”

X-20 stared. A vow by the throne of Pacifica, made by the Princess who would one day be Queen. And not just the promise of refuge – which was a promise not lightly made, for none could truly ward against the great currents; but the promise of a place of honour. That could only mean one thing: a station – a permanent station, for life if he so chose – in the Royal Court.

This was all too much to comprehend. X-20 turned and flung himself back into the ocean water tank that was both his prison and his sanctuary.

As he dove, he heard Tempest indignantly calling out, “Hey!”

“Let him be. He has much to think about, and many emotions that pull at his heart. Let him spend time among the waters that will soothe his body and his mind. The decision that is asked of him is no small matter.”

The waters did not allow the answers given to Marina’s declaration.

“There is no hurry for you to decide. Take what time you need. If you require anything, or wish to speak with us, there is an ‘intercom’ on the wall by the ladder. Push the button and when invited, state your needs. I wish you gentle tides and bountiful harvests.”

And X-20 was alone.

It was days later, when X-20 pushed the button and asked to speak to Commander Shore. He had used the button before to request more food – he had eaten ravenously, unaccustomed to both the extravagant food supply, and inaction.

He waited anxiously, but soon the door opened and the procession – minus the healer – entered the room, as they approached, X-20 indicate the elevator and swam upwards to the platform.

There was an air of excited expectation among the Terraneans as they waited for X-20 to speak.

He took a calming breath.

And made his decision.

Notes:

I had been wanting to write something for Stingray’s 60th Anniversary this year, and as time was ticking away. Finally figured something out!

Something that doesn’t usually get commented on is Titan’s continuous addressing Surface Agent X-20 as ‘slave’, along with his threats of violence against him. The specific tortures and execution methods are lifted directly from John Theydon’s novel ‘Stingray and the Monster’ (republished by Anderson Entertainment as ‘Monster from the Deep’). Except for ‘drying’, that I shamelessly appropriated from May Gibbs’ ‘Little Obelia’ (which is most commonly found in ‘The Complete Adventures of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie’).

I know this doesn't fit the classical definition of 'Whump', but as the starting point was the Whumptober prompt, and you could argue that Surface Agent X-20's existence up to this point IS whump, never mind the psychological turmoil of a slave finding themself suddenly and unexpectedly freed of their master and making decision for themselves ... And yes, I am aware that I am clutching at straws, but they are MY straws, damnit!, and I say they count.

The standard disclaimers, I do not own Stingray. (Although I do own copies on DVD.)

I do not do this for money, but for my own (in)sanity and entertainment.

[tv21pollshowdown]

Tune of Danger. Troy uncovers a plot to bomb a jazz group's performance at Pacifica, the undersea city ruled by Marina's father.

Stand by for Action. Agent X-2-Zero poses as a film producer in his latest scheme to eliminate Stingray and Johnny Swoonara replaces Troy on set.

[niniblack]

Nini's Fic Masterlist

I mean you could also just go look at AO3 for this...

Nothing is ever fully abandoned, but yeah, some of these WIPs have been lingering for a few years. Sorry.

Cherik Fic

This far but no further & What stays and what fades away Mpreg melodrama followed by married couple shenanigans.

Is It Casual Now?  Star Wars AU. Raven and Charles get into trouble and have to call Charles' ex, Erik, for help.

Can't Buy Me Love Maid in Manhattan AU. The part of Jennifer Lopez is played by Erik Lehnsherr.

The Boys All Love to Stare High school AU porn.

Hitting It Off Erik meets the perfect guy at the bar. Too bad Mr. Perfect is on a date with someone else...

On a Beach, With You (The Tel Aviv Remix) Charles Xavier meets Erik Lehnsherr on a beach in Israel.

Lucid Dreaming (The Just a Dream Remix) Charles is dreaming that Erik’s in his bed.

Office Hours Charles and Erik fuck in a bathroom.

Brimnes Erik helps Charles put together Ikea furniture.

Mint to Be Erik winds up in the ER with a candy cane stuck up his dick.

Running With You WIP Charles and Raven at Oxford.

------------------------------------------------

MCU Fic

Lucid Dreaming WIP The life Peter's been living ever since Endgame is all a lie.

A Thousand Lies (and a good disguise) Tony is responsible for creating the spider that gives Peter powers.

the long game Biodad au where Peter gets arrested for selling drugs, and that actually improves his life.

What's In a Name? Morgan starts calling Tony "Mr. Stark."

How to Get Banned from Monaco (again) Tony, Rhodey, and Peter go to Monaco for the grand prix.

the ghost at the back of your closet WIP Tony lives AU. The DODC charges both May and Tony with child endangerment for letting Peter go out as Spider-Man.

Extraction WIP Peter is kidnapped to a foreign country, and Tony is the contractor sent in to get him out.

The Simple Life The 8-year-old kid Tony didn't know he had turns up on his doorstep.

Since You've Been Gone Pepper solves a mystery.

Papa-Paparazzi The media thinks Tony is Peter's dad.

the one where Bucky kidnapped Peter Stark as a toddler SERIES Biodad AU where Peter was kidnapped and doesn't return home until he's 15.

Different Shapes and Sizes Aunt May meets the other Spider-Men.

Just Part of the Costume Peter wears a thong under his suit.

The Hottest Toy of the Season Uncle Ben is on a mission to find little Peter the Iron Man toy he wants.

The Best Thanksgiving Ever Tony' in-laws make some assumptions about his relationship with Peter. Also, they blow up a turkey.

A 10 Step Plan for Saving Your Mentor’s Life (a Guide by Peter Parker) WIP Tony takes Peter on a training mission that goes horribly wrong.

Tony Shark (doo doo do do do do)  Undersea adventure.

I tamagot-chu (if you tamagot-me)  Peter and Ned transfer Karen into a tamagotchi.

miles and miles to go (before I dream)  The only chance of beating Thanos requires bringing Loki back from the dead.

------------------------------------------------

Captive Prince Fic

The Stowaway WIP Star Wars AU. Damen and Nikandros are pilots who find someone hiding in their ship's hold.

The Boyfriend Experience WIP Laurent's a hooker and Damen's the client who's in love with him.

All the Education (that I missed)  Teacher!Damen and Student!Laurent, sort of.

Verisimilitude Auguste/Laurent. Laurent is intent on helping Auguste with a mission.

A Kansas City Shuffle  FBI Agent!Damen and Criminal Consultant!Laurent. White Collar AU.

Frigid Huddling for warmth.

A Luxury Few Can Afford Laurent is undercover as the prince's pet when he meets Damen.

A Poorer Prospect Laurent is marrying a Patran princess, Damen attends the wedding.

Frisking  Attempts at roleplay.

Sunburn Laurent burns easily.

Catalyst College AU. Damen makes a bet about being able to seduce Laurent.

------------------------------------------------

Lymond Fic

Cat Sitting Richard is tasked with babysitting his younger siblings.

Play to Win Lymond and Will get trapped in the Midculter cellar and decide to get drunk and play cards.

Inspection Duty On the eve of the Battle of Solway Moss, Jerott Blyth takes it upon himself to inspect the camp. He finds more than he expected.

------------------------------------------------

Star Wars Fic

relieved to lie in the wreckage  Post-ROTS, Anakin is on the run.

------------------------------------------------

Glee Fic

Left in the Pieces Karofsky transfers to Dalton Academy.

5 Times Blaine was Slushied WISOTT

News Cycle The 24-hour news cycle doesn't allow time for grief.

I Don't Know How This Started, So I Won't Know When It's Done  Kurt can't remember where he's been for the last three weeks. There's probably a good reason for that.

Just a Little Late Blaine would help Kurt, if he could just figure out how.

Nobody’s Business Finn calls Kurt in the middle of the night.

Earning the Right to My Silence  There’s a line you don’t cross, even when you’re the one putting people in their place.

Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out Kurt just walked into a door. Really. Why won’t anyone believe him?

Baby, It’s Cold Outside (but not cold enough to wear that)  Blaine's favorite party of the year is the annual ugly Christmas sweater party.

Tweety Kurt and Finn aren't allowed to have pets.

Manning Up "That's not a closeted guy hitting on you. That's sexual harassment."

The Way We Communicate Ten unconnected drabbles based on the random song meme that’s been going around. 

The Boys All Love To Stare In which Kurt realizes that Blaine has a cheerleader fetish.

Sparkle Kurt has the perfect plan to get back at Principal Figgins for telling him what not to wear.

------------------------------------------------

Criminal Minds Fic

Checkmate  AU of Memorium, featuring 4-year-old Reid.

The Forgetting Curve Spencer Reid has an eidetic memory. That doesn’t mean he remembers everything.

[ragsy]

47-60, and 66-70 for Beloved Dogmark, Beloved Dillion and Agent Hill because I think she’s hot

AUGH LIGHTNING ROUND. okay. rapid fire.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mark: lactose intolerant :( Dillion: doesn't know what cheese is. WAIT, unless his people traditionally milked whales?? and made cheese from whale milk??? those are the only mammals that he would conceivably encounter. oh no. now i have thoughts. Hill: pepper jack. but like. the painfully hot kind

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Mark: don't call him a fruit, he'll cry. but also-- peach. fragile and easily bruised, but has a hard center if you dig for it. Dillion: some sort of near-extinct heirloom apple variety that was only grown on some rich guy's lawn for a single generation before he went bankrupt and the variety disappeared Hill: beefsteak tomato. spiteful and acidic, but robust and tender.

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Mark: oh fuck what a horrible night to have a curse. what a complete dogshit ass night for a curse. god what a fucking night, my dude. for a curse i mean. fuck this. Dillion: MY BOY, THIS PEACE IS WHAT ALL TRUE WARRIORS STRIVE FOR-- Hill: act first. apologize later.

The rest under the cut 👇👇

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Mark: probably one of those things where he had just gotten out of a potentially very dangerous situation (a mugging, a car crash, a fire, etc) and, once he realized he was safe and everything was fine, all he could do was laugh. and laugh. and he doesn't laugh a lot. so people get very concerned. Dillion: over a meal with his party members. someone's just said something clever. he can't remember the last time he shared a moment like this with someone who cares for him just as much as he does for them. Hill: she just told someone to fuck around and find out. they just found out. she didn't even have to lift a finger.

51. current stresses?

Mark: has no job. has no money. has an anxiety disorder. is a dogman. doesn't know where he's sleeping tonight. Dillion: on a self-destructing planet with the distinct possibility that he can't save everyone Hill: has a malignant curse that is slowly turning her body into a mass of tentacles with minds of their own. also probably under investigation by the IRS

52. favorite font?

i'm gonna be real with you here, i don't think any of these three people have one. i don't even know if dillion knows what a font is

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Mark: nicked and scraped, dirt under his nails/claws. currently shoved in his pockets. Dillion: as manicured as he can manage, given his circumstances. currently gripping the hilt of his sword. Hill: scarred, knuckly, bruised. she keeps her nails as short as they'll go. currently only one of them-- lost the other one to the aforementioned curse.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Mark: you are a peon whose only purpose is to keep your head down and do what you're told. Dillion: you are the specialest boy in the whole kingdom because you paid us a lot of money for this job title Hill: if you see someone shoplifting no you didn't

55. favorite fairy tale?

Mark: beauty and the beast Dillion: the little mermaid (or, rather, the undersea perspective version of it) Hill: little red riding hood

56. favorite tradition?

Mark: going camping in june for his birthday (which is actually in december) Dillion: traditional dishes from home. you KNOW cooking in a culture that spends 100% of its time submerged in water has gotta be some wild delicious shit Hill: new year's. it's the only holiday she ever really gets off, anyway

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Mark: escaping a toxic relationship, surviving on his own, accepting himself for what he is Dillion: overly high self esteem, survivor's guilt (kinda still working on this one but he's made a lot of progress), speaking openly about his feelings to another person Hill: mostly extremely large monsters trying to eat her. there's been a lot of those

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Mark: pretty good at making a campfire, has some sort of 6th sense for knowing if there's poison ivy nearby, has a bite force of 330 PSI and can run at about 30mph on all fours (idk if he's actually proud of those last two but he deserves to be) Dillion: big arm muscles. big abdominal muscles. big leg muscles. big heart. which is also a muscle. Hill: can keep a cool head in a dangerous situation, really good at arm wrestling, is a pretty good shot (was better when she had two hands, but she's still pretty good), encyclopedic knowledge of american sitcoms from between 1980 and 2005

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Mark: "uh. uh-oh. oh no." Dillion: [clipping the microphone] "ONWARD, MY FRIEND!" Hill: "Alright, shitheads. Get on with it."

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Mark: slice of life romance (but with monsters) Dillion: i mean he was literally isekai'd, so, Hill: some sort of dark, mature, traditional cel-animated seinen

66. favorite flower(s)?

Mark: he doesn't think he has one, but it's totally magnolia blossom Dillion: anemones. but not the animal, the actual flower anemone Hill: sunflower

67. good luck charms?

Mark: his wristwatch. he's not sentimental with a lot of his belongings, but he will never, ever part with that watch. Dillion: the halberd cozy that Midas made for him Hill: the front door key to her house, from before her home town was destroyed by a monster attack

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Mark: he has NO spice tolerance. so literally anything remotely spicy Dillion: candles, before he learned that you're not supposed to eat them (even though they are on the table) (they don't have tables OR candles underwater) Hill: she's not one to waste a drink, but she tried an IPA at a bar once that was so gross she took one sip, stood up, and drove to the next state over.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Mark: the fastest way to hook up with someone is to go to some sort of queer meetup and yawn just enough for someone to notice his sharp teeth Dillion: he can swim with full plate armor on. don't worry about it Hill: vampires and draculas are two separate, convergently evolved species

70. left or right handed?

Mark: lefty Dillion: righty Hill: was a lefty, but that arm's the bad one. she trained herself well enough to be a righty though

[fancoloredglasses]

Voltron (two very different series with the same name set in the same universe? That's not gonna be confusing!)

[All images are owned by Toei Animation and World Events Productions. Please don’t sue me.]

As I mentioned before, my first exposure to anime (or, as I called it back then, “Japanimation”) was Star Blazers and an anthology series called Force Five (again, if anyone finds any footage of this series online, please let me know!)

However, years later I was exposed to another anime series that is likely to be more familiar to everyone.

[NOTE: As with Star Blazers, I am covering the American version of the series rather than the original Japanese, though there’s one difference between the two I’ll briefly mention when it comes up]

(Thanks to Peacock Kids)

(Yes, the narrator is none other than Peter Cullen, who is the voice of Optimus Prime. Nice to know Voltron has the support of the Autobots!)

Voltron (AKA Voltron III, Voltron of the Far Universe,or Lion Force Voltron) tells the story of a team of five Space Explorers who travel to a planet known as Arus to assist the government against an alien invasion. The five are entrusted to reawaken the planet’s primary defense: Voltron (why didn’t they have Voltron online before the invasion?)

(Thanks to Al Kennon)

…a squadron of giant robot lions which…well, we’ll get to that in a bit.

The leader of the team (henceforth called the Voltron Force) is Kieth, who pilots the Black Lion.

Keith’s second in command is Lance, who pilots the Red Lion.

Sven pilots the Blue Lion…until he’s hospitalized by an enemy agent (here’s the one difference I'm discussing: in the Japanese version “Sven” (I’m not looking up his Japanese name) is killed in the attack (obviously we couldn’t have the kids see someone die!). However, his twin brother appears late in the series; the American version has Sven make a return after his recovery) to be replaced by…

…Princess Allura, ruler of Arus.

Pidge pilots the Green Lion

Hunk pilots the Yellow Lion.

The Voltron Force defends Arus against the forces of…

King Zarkon

Aided by the witch Haggar, who creates giant monsters (called Robeasts) to send against the Voltron Force.

Zarkon’s son Lotor commands Zarkon’s armies and has a bit of a crush on Allura, determined to take her for his bride.

The battles are pretty much the same: The Lions attack the Robreast Of The Week, but are overmatched until…

(Thanks again to Peacock Kids)

After that, the fight’s a bit more even until Voltron finally creates its Blazing Sword weapon and slices the Robeast in half (why doesn’t it start with that?)

However, Voltron isn’t the only Defender of the Universe!

(Thanks to T. Winters)

The Galaxy Alliance is overcrowded and it’s up to the Space Explorers of the S.S. Explorer (really original name, guys!) to find new planets to colonize. This inevitable puts them at odds with the Drule Empire (it’s never officially stated if King Zarkon is part of the empire, but Drule’s giant monsters are also called Robeasts)

Like the Lion Force Voltron, this version of Voltron (AKA Voltron I, Voltron of the Near Universe,or Vehicle Team Voltron; there was supposed to be a third Voltron series, but negotiations between Toei (the animation studio that produced the original manga) and World Events (the American company that converted the series into Voltron) fell through), the team consisted of smaller vessels that combined to form Voltron. Unlike Lion Force, the vessels were three squads of fighters that specialized in either air, land, or undersea combat.

(Thanks to reminators)

As many of you are aware (mainly due to the fact that NO ONE remembers the Vehicle Team series), the Lion Force became the most popular of the two, and their story has been retold at least twice.

As always, if you would like to see an episode reviewed, please let me know!