#Ume externally: thanks

[rake-rake]

@cherrygardn

❛ how is it you always know what i need, huh? ❜ / sukuna to uraume.

An assortment of dialogues.

Pride is evident in their posture, if not in their face. Happiness filling their chest to the brim in a way only one man can cause. They bow their head before him, acknowledging and appreciating the words, relishing them like the precious thing they are.

"I'm a extensión of my Lord desires. I exist only to serve him. Understanding and fulfilling his wishes is the less I could do."

[junkissed]

study buddies

member — junhui x f reader genre — smut, college au word count — 1.6k synopsis — with finals right around the corner it's important that you know the vocab for the exam, and your boyfriend has the perfect study method to help you. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy (not super detailed this time), choking, marking, hair pulling, fingers in mouth, dry humping, teasing/very light degradation?, he's a little bit subby in this one (m receiving for all the above warnings) notes — requested by @pinkhwacherries & also by @tigerhoshi25 — thanks to @onlymingyus for making sure i don't sound insane !! this is feral and wildly self indulgent i hope yall like it. also very sorry to bio/med readers i'm an english major so if the anatomy terms i used are wrong plsplspls ignore it i am but a humble incompetent smut writer. if you liked this and want to see more, be sure reblog with comments or send me an ask! <3

"baby, you're never gonna pass your exam if you don't stop staring at me and start studying," jun giggles, pointing at your textbook from where he sits at the edge of your bed.

you pout and cross your arms, leaning back in your chair. you had been zoning out, watching jun play games on his phone while you're supposed to be studying. "it's not my fault you're prettier to look at."

he blushes and hides his face, leaning over your desk. "are you sure you wouldn't rather look at—" he pauses to read from your textbook, horribly mispronouncing the vocabulary, "—the sternohyoid muscle?”

"i give up," you say with a groan, leaning your head back against the chair. "it's so boring, i hate this class. why did i even take anatomy?"

he shrugs. "well, boring or not, you'll feel worse if you fail the class and have to retake credits.”

you turn to glare at him, but you know he's right. with a sigh you lean over your textbook, your head in your hands as you stare down at the words.

jun clears his throat, and you glance up at him to see what he wants now. "would it help you remember if you had… a real life example?" he says, almost shyly.

"and where exactly am i gonna find one?" you ask, cocking your eyebrow at him.

gently he takes your hand and brings it up to his neck, pressing your palm against his adam's apple. automatically you wrap your fingers around his neck, like you've done so many times before but never in this context. it catches you off-guard, your stomach beginning to warm at the feeling of his throat moving beneath your hand.

"does that feel better?" he asks, his voice suddenly a little more rough than it usually is.

you blink, trying to remember what you’re supposed to be doing right now. “better, as opposed to…?”

you can see the warmth creeping into his cheeks, but he doesn’t take back his offer. “is it helping you focus more, i mean?”

you pause, your eyes flitting over his face. exams are the absolute last thing on your mind right now. “yes—no. yes?”

he slides your textbook off the desk and onto his lap, never breaking eye contact until he looks down at the page. “submandibular triangle,” he reads.

“huh?”

he repeats the words, covering the diagram with his hand to block your view. “i’m quizzing you.”

“right.” your mind goes blank. “um… here.”

you reposition your hand, pressing your thumb gently underneath his chin. he lets out a quiet gasp, and your fingers tighten ever so slightly at the sound. 

“larynx?” you move your fingers lower, and he quickly glances down at the page again, picking out another. “external jugular vein.”

“you’re giving me easy ones,” you say, lowering your hand a few centimeters. you run your thumb along the side of his throat, gently tracing the vein that bulges out. “here.”

he doesn’t have another word prepared, so you take it upon yourself to shift your hand, putting pressure on a section of his neck with your fingers.

his eyes flutter shut with a soft sigh, and the sudden urge to bite him overtakes you. ever so slowly you lean closer, your lips hovering next to him. you can hear his breath catch in his throat, feel his pulse quickening under your fingertips.

“i thought you were helping me study,” you say in a low voice, almost a whisper. your warm breath so close against his neck makes his skin prickle as his face flushes a deep shade of red.

suddenly he opens his eyes, looking down at you through his lashes. “fine. soft palate.” there’s a hint of mischief in his gaze that you recognize far too well.

you narrow your eyes at him, knowing exactly what he’s doing. “i can’t reach that one, jun. it’s inside your mouth.”

“and?”

“and i don’t think shoving my fingers in your mouth is going to help me remember all these for my exam.”

he shrugs and you can feel the muscles in his neck move, your grip still tight around him. “i think it’s worth a try.”

“you’re being difficult, junnie.” your fingers tighten again, a barely audible whimper escaping from his throat.

“maybe that’s on purpose.”

“and why would you be doing that? seems like that would make you a bad study partner.”

“maybe because i want you to kiss me instead.”

you shift your hand, cupping his neck with your palm. “well, how do you expect me to do that if my fingers are in your mouth?”

he pushes your textbook off his lap and onto the floor, giggling like it's the stupidest question he's ever heard and the answer should be obvious. “take them out first.”

you groan and pull him closer to you by the neck, crashing your lips against his. you can feel him smiling against your mouth and you know he's pleased with himself for this, so you squeeze your fingers just a little bit more until he moans.

you pull away from his mouth and start kissing his throat instead, starting at his jaw just beneath his chin and moving your lips downward. he groans and you feel his pulse jump under your tongue as you reposition your hand to press your thumb against his adam's apple. 

your tongue swipes at the soft, pretty skin of his neck as you dig your fingers in and tilt his head to the side, giving you a better angle to begin sucking. he leans his head back, easily complying.

you shift from your chair and onto his lap, straddling him with your legs on either side of his thighs. you can feel his bulge pressing against your tummy as you sit down, and it gives your ego a boost knowing he's already rock hard.

the thought crosses your mind suddenly that it's a good thing you're wearing your thick fuzzy pajama pants instead of shorts like you normally do; otherwise he'd definitely be able to feel your pussy throbbing against his lap, and you're fighting not to give in to the desire so easily. you're practically dripping onto his lap, your panties sticking to you with wetness, but he doesn't need to know that just yet. right now, all you want him to focus on is how good your fingers feel on him and how much you're gonna make him regret teasing you.

his hands immediately grip your waist when you sit down, pulling you closer against his body. you start to suck harder on his neck, determined to make sure the marks you leave on him will stay for days afterwards. god, you better pass this fucking test. 

you bite down on a little patch of skin and he bucks his hips up into you, fingertips squeezing your hips until his knuckles turn white. he groans loudly, a stream of barely comprehensible words flowing from his lips.

“will you be quiet?” you say, a little exasperated, but really you like the way he can't control his mouth. “you're supposed to be helping me focus.”

“i am he—” he starts, but you cut him off by sticking two fingers in his mouth, pressing down on his tongue.

“now, shut up.”

he moans in surprise but quickly accepts the intrusion, and you feel the electricity in your fingertips as he purses his lips and swirls his tongue around them. you have to hold back a moan yourself at the feeling, his spit coating your fingers and his tongue tickling your skin.

you let out a short, breathy laugh at his eagerness, rewarding him with a grind of your hips against his bulge. “good boy.”

you can see the lust flashing across his eyes at your words and it only makes you want to mark him more, finally removing your hand from around his neck and moving your fingers up to tug on the hair at the base of his scalp.

you shift your head from the side of his neck to the front, kissing up and down the column of his throat and delighting in the way he whimpers so prettily at your touch.

your exam is at the furthest back of your mind by now, but still you can't help but recall the vocab words and diagrams as you grip him. each muscle that contracts when he tries to moan around your fingers, each bone in his throat that you run your hand over, trying to ingrain it in your memory.

finally you pull your fingers out from between his lips, and he lets out a choked exhale when you wipe the spit off on his cheek, running the back of your hand along his chin to brush away his drool. 

you pat his jaw gently, grinning at how out of breath he is. “you changed my mind. you're not a bad study partner, after all.”

and later that night he proves himself again, fucking you into your tiny twin mattress, his hand pressed against the back of your neck so you can feel the same pressure points as he did. and again the next morning before you leave, letting you kiss him until your mouth goes dry and trace every inch of him with your fingers.

after all that studying, needless to say, you ace your exam.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

taglist will be in the comments under this fic since tumblr is having problems with mentions, i can't add them as i usually do. if you'd like to join and be notified when i post a new fic, you can fill out this short form here! :)

[ldysmfrst]

American Mate - (4)

First Case of Alpha Space

Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 4 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 4,731

Work count for Story: 17,363

Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine

A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children. One of which is special needs, and on 3/28, they lost 75% of their vision. I have had to take time off work to accommodate many MANY doctor appointments. I started a Ko-fi if you feel the heart to donate towards helping with the medical costs of appointments, medication, and modifications to the house, which insurance doesn't cover.

Warnings: (I am not good at this, but I will try. Let me know if I missed anything!!) NOT BETA READ!! This story will have a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, m/m, and m/f/m. This chapter does have Injury, Anxiety, Panic attacks, comfort, Alpha Space, and Cultural differences.

BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit

AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

Is it really that big of a deal that you got hurt? My god, you were 35 already. You have never lived a sheltered life. You have had your fair share of broken bones, twisted ankles, scrapes, and bruises. 

You are always going on adventures, riding horses, and climbing things you probably should not be climbing. Most of the external scars you bear are associated with stories that are good conversation starters when you feel like showing them. 

Things would be difficult for a while because you are undeniably right-handed. You have a few days of sick time saved up that you can use to start with. Hopefully, this will help you gain some compliance from your wayward left hand. 

Work, however, is going to be the hard part. Luckily, your work is typically done on electronics, meaning nothing has to be handwritten. Even if you tried to write left-handed, no one could read it. You would bet money doctors had better handwriting skills than your left hand did in its pinky. Dictation software to save the day!

Hearing Derek’s voice broke you out of your thoughts regarding your near future. Watching him act cautiously while interacting with the other hybrid was interesting. There is clearly a difference in how he acts with Yoongi than with Evie.

Giggling to yourself at the mention of being a mate with Derek gains the attention of both. Shaking your head, you explain, “Oh, sorry. The thought of being a mate, much less to Derek, was amusing, I guess.” 

You missed the slight frown that briefly graced both men’s faces. Derek thought you were implying he wasn’t mate-material, and Yoongi thought you believed you were not worthy of being a mate.

“Thanks, Y/n. I let you know that I am a catch despite being a Beta. Besides, this isn’t about me right now. We need to get the leadership involved with what to do moving forward. Are you okay if we bring in the others?”

“Yes, please. I need to speak with Director Johnson, fill out an incident report… um or dictate an incident report, and then get to a doctor,” you agree. Attempting to stand up, you are blocked by the golden-yellow eyes that have not stopped watching your every move.

“Mr. Min, I need to get some things done and take care of my wrist,” you say with a hint of confusion because you know he knows that you need medical attention, but he isn’t letting you.

Yoongi’s eyes narrow, and a soft growl pours through the room, causing your eyes to widen. You look over your shoulder at Derek with a ‘what-the-F-did-I-do’ expression, only to be met with a smirk.

“Y/n, I don’t think you understand what is going on. You haven’t dealt with a situation like this before. You may love hybrids, but you still have limited interactions with our culture and this dynamic.” Walking backward toward the door, Derek continues, “With the state of mind that Mr. Min is in, it might be best if a packmate of his explains.”

Derek opens the break room door to face Hoseok, Taehyung, Namjoon, and Jungkook, all staring. “Oh, Hi there.”

Then, as if someone had turned the mute off, they all started talking simultaneously. 

“Is Yoongi-hyung dropped yet?”

“그 사람 괜찮아요?”

“Why does she still smell hurt?”

“Wait, wait, wait, please,” Derek puts his hands up, motioning to stop. "I do not know Korean, for one, and for two, Mr. Min has gone into full nonverbal Alpha Space, and I am not sure he will be coming out of it anytime soon. However, one of you should go in to handle the situation, and Y/n needs to talk with Director Johnson.”

At the mention of the director, a low growl came from Taehyung, causing Derek to take a step back and lower his eyes in an automatic response to a displeased Alpha.

The scent of calming leather gently flows over the group at the door as Namjoon steps forward. His mind is still reeling a million miles a second with you being their mate and you being injured. To top it off, Yoongi is on a deep level of Alpha Space.

“Sorry about that. I can come in, but the director is busy at the moment. He is dealing with the Playmates, your corporate office, and Manager Sejin,” apologizes Namjoon as he enters the room.

He follows Derek to where his packmate and Y/n are situated at a table. Taehyung and Jungkook follow quickly, sneaking in before the door closes all the way. They both kneel respectfully behind Yoongi. Their Alphas recognize that Yoongi is currently in charge of you, and it would be unwise to display anything that could be considered a threat by approaching you too quickly.

They both need to be close to you, and their instincts to be with their newly discovered but injured mate drive their actions. Looking you over for injuries, their eyes resting on your wrist with furrowed brows and set jaws. Taehyung’s eyes change to crystal blue as his tail flickers almost in time with Yoongi’s as he slips into Alpha Space. 

“Namjoon-hyung, Miss Y/n is hurt. She needs a hospital, I think,” Jungkook says, his ears standing straight up on his head, one-pointedly focused on you and the other twitching between his Prime Alpha and the door. 

“It is not that big of an issue, Mr. Jeon, Mr. Min, and Mr. Kim.” Looking up from the trio in front of you and addressing the Prime Alpha, “Sir, I have specific protocols to follow due to company procedure. I must talk with the Director.” 

A growl from one of the men in front of you freezes your words, unsure of what you did to cause their reactions. Internally, you groan because it seems all you get from them are growls as if you vex them more than humanly possible. 

“Miss Y/n, we have already talked to Director Johnson,” Namjoon says with a look of distaste. 

“He has been informed that you are now under the care of Bangtan Pack following hybrid customs,” Namjoon says. "It would be wise to refrain from talking about him at the moment; he did not leave a good impression with the pack.”

Your brows scrunch in confusion, making the hybrids want to coo at your cute face. Clearing his throat (aka his mind), Namjoon continues, “We have more pressing matters to attend to besides paperwork.” 

“You are injured, and we have to get you to a doctor. Manager Sejin is currently contacting one of our personal physicians that we normally use while on tour to have you treated.”

“What? Why would I use your doctor? I can just go to the local clinic,” you quick question. Your scent spikes almost like a heavy perfume with anxiety with the flashbacks of your nightmare. 

“Please, I have taken up much of your time, and caused enough problems as it is. I can take care of myself. I don’t want to be a bother,” you plead.

At your words, you are surrounded by multiple growls and watched by now golden-yellow, crystal blue, and smokey gray eyes. Scooting back in the chair as if the quarter inch gained would save you, you nervously ask, “Derek, what did I do?”

“Y/n, you really don’t get it do you? For as smart as you are, sometimes you can be oblivious,” Derek scoffs teasingly. Smiling, he shakes his head, stepping back from the group and heading towards the door. “Mr. Kim, as Prime Alpha, you might want to explain what is happening and what she should be expecting. Mind you, she has been fiercely independent for the last 15 years of her life.”

“I wish you the best with her. It won’t be easy, trust me, I know. Good luck,” says Derek as he bows slightly to Namjoon once he reaches the break room door.

Looking at you again, this time with a smile filled with adoration for his best friend and what he thinks your future may hold, Derek says, “Relax and have fun.” Then he turns and leaves the room. 

As Derek leaves the room, he smiles at the remaining pack guarding the door. “Mr. Kim, Mr. Jung, and Mr. Park, I think your human does not understand what is happening.”

“Our human? So, you know?” Seokjin questions with wide, cautious eyes.

Derek looks over his shoulder at the closed break room door. His mind conjures up all the ways this could go sideways, but he focuses on all the ways this could be the best thing for you.

“At first, I thought it was just a typical Alpha reaction with him being the cause of Y/n getting injured, but his care and gentleness seemed to come from somewhere deeper. Add on the fact that your other two are fighting Alpha Space. It would be hard to miss,” says the fox hybrid with a softness.

“The other two?” someone asks.

Shaking his head, Derek looks back at the remaining three, saying, “Yes, the younger Mr. Kim and Mr. Jeon’s Alphas surfaced just before I left. Your Prime Alpha is going to try to sort things out, but he may need some back up.”

“Meanwhile, I am going to find our boss and see what needs to be done before you all run away with her,” comments Derek, leaving the pack to mull over the new information.

“Tae has never been one to control his Alpha well when one of us is hurt. I am not surprised if he slipped once near her. Kook always runs on instinct too, so it makes sense he slipped as well,” Seokjin contemplates. 

“Should we stay out here? Miss Y/n’s pack member said it would be better to go in and help Namjoon? Three of us in Alpha space with an injured mate is not going to be easy,” Hoseok adds. 

Nibbling on his lower lip, Jimin thinks of ways to handle the situation. Even though he is one of the younger packmates, keeping the pack calm is his gift. 

He just doesn’t know how to handle you yet, especially since you don’t know what you mean to the pack.

“Good, at least three of you are here, and I assume the rest have made their way into the room with Miss Y/n,” Manager Sejin says while walking up to the group. “I have spoken with Big Hit, the Director at Playmate Service Incorporated, and Dr. Blackwell. Everyone is onboard and the doctor is ready to go.”

“Relax and have fun? What does he mean by that?” You mumble as you glare at the now-closed door that one of your best friends just shut. 

He willingly left you with four Alpha male idols. 

Three of them are kneeling on the floor with non-human eyes, and the Prime Alpha, looking around the room like the way to explain what's happening is painted on the walls.

Taking a breath, you say, “Mr. Kim, Prime Alpha… Sir. Derek is right. I have no actual experience with Alphas. I can tell that there must be some kind of instinctual drive going on, and there are trigger words or actions.”

“I don’t want to cause any more trouble than I already have. What do I do to make it easier for your pack?” you question.

At your words, the kneeling Alphas gave a multitude of pleasant chirps because you may not consciously know what to do but you are still acting like a baby mate. You looked at the three of them, a little confused. They seemingly smiled and made almost the same sound as when you said that.

Okay, so they can growl and chirp. Your curiosity spikes when you think of what other animal-like sounds they can make as hybrids.

Drawing your attention back to him, Namjoon finds the words to explain what is happening, “Miss Y/n, you have done so much to help the Bangtan Pack feel welcome today.”

With a gentle smile, he continues, “So please relax, you have not caused any trouble, and we highly doubt that you will.” 

He thought, ‘At least, not in the way you seem to be thinking.’

“Alpha’s run with a higher level of instinct than your Beta pack member. As an Alpha, Yoongi-hyung instinctually feels responsible for your injury. In order to calm that instinct, a few things will most likely need to happen.” Watching you sit up with interest, he continues, “First things first, he and his Alpha need to get at least your injury treated.”

“He has to be the one to take me to get it treated?” You start to ramble with concern, “I can’t have him go with me to the clinic! There are fans and sasaengs and the media! What about your schedule? You always hear about the tight schedules Idols have and you have already spent all afternoon here over this.”

You start panicking about the hordes of people you hear about following the band around. God, the amount of bad publicity would come from catching you and THE Suga of BTS at a clinic. You can’t imagine what nonsense they would come up with?

Your scent goes into an even heavier version; it takes on an almost alcoholic aspect. The kneeling Alphas instinctually send out calming pheromones while moving closer. 

Yoongi’s tail, still wrapped around your ankle, tightens while he gently rubs the back of your injured hand, which he is cradling protectively. He wiggles forward an inch or two to ensure you realize he is still there and isn’t going anywhere.

Taehyung starts to purr softly but loud enough for you to at least hear it. His mates have always found ease in their emotions and pain with his purring, so he hopes the sound will comfort you similarly.

Jungkook, running on instinct alone, scoots up to your left side, nudges his head under your left hand, and rests on your leg. Touch and cuddling are strong hybrid traits that naturally bring peace to most, and being a bunny hybrid, Jungkook loves to share his cuddles more than the others.

The feeling of Jungkook’s head on your leg snaps you out of your thoughts and brings you back into the room. You hold still as you start to recognize similar comforting behaviors the Alphas are doing with those that Evie always does, allowing you to take a deep breath.

“Sorry. I was raised to take care of myself and not impose on others,” you softly say.

“Miss Y/n, you are not imposing. Again, Yoongi-hyung ran into you while rushing out of the room, and it's his responsibility to make amends. Actually, as a bonded pack, it is our responsibility, too,” explains Namjoon.

“The pack? Like all of you? Is this why they are all like this, with their eyes and stuff?” you question with a scrunched face.

Absent-mindedly, you run your fingers through Jungkook’s hair, softly scratching his scalp, soothing not only yourself but also the youngest Alpha. 

A soft chuckle escapes Namjoon as he watches your instinctual interactions with the youngest mate. He answers, “Yes, that is the best way to explain the eyes and stuff, as you put it.”

“Jungkook-ah and Taehyung-ah will find it easier to leave their Alpha Space since they are not the ones responsible for the injury but trying to be supportive to both of you,” informs the Prime Alpha as you nod in understanding, which he thinks is you not really understanding but just going along with it.

Hearing a knock on the door, he calls, “Who is it?”

“Namjoon-ssi, it's Manager Sejin. I have some updates and a few questions. Can I enter?” a voice calls as the door opens slightly to reveal it’s him. 

At Namjoon's nod, he enters. The door remains open as the scents in the room are constricting in their density. He is followed by the rest of the pack, who take up guarding now from inside. With the mixed emotions in the scent-filled room, the Alphas worry that it will reach other hybrids who will come to investigate.

“Did you contact everyone?” asks Namjoon.

“Big Hit and the Corporate Director are on the same page and will follow the hybrid protocol, but details must be discussed once Miss Y/n has met with the doctor,” Manager Sejin reports to the Prime Alpha.

Moving to look at you, he continues, “I contacted Dr. Blackwell, thinking you may be more comfortable with a female doctor. We have her on retainer to work with some of the female back up dancers on the tour as well as the pack.” 

He glances at the boys surrounding you closely, noting the change in their eyes; his scent changes with curiosity. He raises an eyebrow, looking at Namjoon. With a subtle nod, he confirms that something more is happening but does not move to explain.

Looking back at you, he gently smiles, “With the situation at hand, it may be best to limit other males around you until everyone is out of Alpha space. They tend to get territorial. Dr. Blackwell is on standby, ready to assess and treat you once we know where you will be.”

You look at the manager like he is missing something, or maybe you are as you question, “Why wouldn’t she just come here, or I go to her?”

“Miss Y/n, Dr. Blackwell is a traveling physician. She doesn’t have a permanent office to use but she is well respected in both the human and hybrid communities.”

“Oh, I see. Well, umm…” you look at Namjoon and ask, “What option would be best for your pack?”

Namjoon’s chest puffs slightly at your show of respect to him as the Pack Prime Alpha despite the situation and your pain level. “Not to make you uncomfortable, Miss Y/n, but I think meeting Dr. Blackwell at our Airbnb would be best,” he answers.

You take a moment to think, your hand pulsing with pain now that the adrenaline is starting to wear off. They cannot all fit in your flat. Heck, it's barely big enough for you, Evie, and Derek to hang out in; plus, it's a mess after you tore through your closet to find the right clothes for today.

If the growls were any indication, they didn’t seem to like being at PMS. Instinctually, even Derek and Evie prefer being in their dens when one of the three of you is hurt or sick. Making your decision, you look at the manager and then Namjoon. “Okay. If it is best for the pack, I will go with you to the Airbnb to see Dr. Blackwell.” 

It’s almost as if a weight is lifted out of the room, allowing the pack to take a breath. 

“Alphas Yoon, Kook, and Tae. Can you give Miss Y/n some room? We have to take her to the pack house to see a doctor,” Namjoon says with a firm voice, gaining smiles from the men kneeling on the floor. 

Jungkook stands, quickly moving and curling into the Prime Alpha, his eyes returning to their natural color. Namjoon rubs his back, scenting him lightly to show his pride in the youngest Alpha’s actions to help soothe the baby mate.

Taehyung rocks back on his heels but remains close to you as his purring stops. His body is more relaxed, but his eyes are still crystal blue, shifting between Yoongi and you in wait.

After watching the two younger Alphas move around, your attention turns to the black jaguar kneeling with expectant, questioning eyes. He still cradles your hand as if it were his most precious possession, and his tail hasn’t moved from its coil around your ankle.

You tentatively ask, “Mr. Min, if I promise that you can stay with me, will you let me go get my things, and then you can take me to your pack house?”

Yoongi’s face lights up with a gummy smile as he nods. Your breath hitches at the sight. How can the devastatingly rogue-like handsome rapper look so adorable?

He stands up, his tail unwrapping from your leg. He softly takes both of your hands while he assists you in standing. You smile and mumble a small thanks as you step forward to leave but pause, turning to Namjoon.

“Prime Alpha, do you think I can talk with Derek briefly to let him know what is happening? This way, he can talk to the direc… Boss. Talk to the boss and let him know that I am leaving for the day?” you ask, but your voice is firm as if you were telling the Prime Alpha what needs to happen without blatantly taking control of the situation.

“Yes, talking to him will be fine. He has been established as part of your familial pack and won’t be considered a threat to the pack if he comes around you now,” Namjoon answers, moving out of your way and motioning for the rest to let you pass.

Bowing slightly, “Thank you, Prime Alpha.”

Making it to your desk is apparently more complicated than one would think. 

Yoongi won’t leave your right side, while Taehyung won’t leave your left. Both act like it's code red, and someone is trying to assassinate you. Then, the rest of BTS trails behind like some kind of posse. 

You keep your head down to avoid any strange looks or glares from whomever you pass. To your relief, you find Derek waiting at your desk with his head resting on his palms and a mischievous smile. 

“I see you are taking things in stride,” glancing at your plethora of bodyguards. “Did the Prime Alpha explain everything to you?”

Speaking up from the back of the group, Namjoon answers for you: “She is aware that we are responsible for her at this time, and she will be treated by our doctor at our temporary pack house.”

You don’t miss Derek's look of concern as he tilts his head with curiosity at Namjoon. “I see, of course. You are just responsible for getting her treated. Hybrid customs and all.”

“Derek, can you please let the big boss know that I will be leaving with Bangtan Pack to seek medical care and once I have more updates, I will let you both know?” 

Glancing at Yoongi and still seeing his lovely golden-yellow eyes, you try to ignore the slight flutter in your stomach, “I don’t think it would be good for me to talk with him myself right now.”

Derek nods in response, “Manager Sejin has already given the boss a rough time frame for the near future. I suppose his managing skills came in handy. Don’t worry about us here, we will get a temp while you heal.”

Standing up, Derek passes you your purse, which Taehyung takes. You try to grab it again, but only to have a black and white tail wrap around your arm and bring it back down to your side.

“No carry. Keep safe.” Taehyung almost grunts out in a deeper-than-deep voice, which short-circuits your brain. You knew he was the deep voice of the group, but that was not his singing voice.

Glancing at Derek out of the side of your eye, you see him briefly nod and smile encouragingly while he whispers, “It’s an Alpha Space thing. Best acknowledge his help.”

“Umm… Th-tha-hank you, Alpha,” you stammer out, willing the heat creeping up your neck to stop as your words pull a boxy grin from the Tiger hybrid.

“I think that is it,” you announce to nobody in particular. You smile awkwardly at Derek as he seemingly takes you in like he has never seen you before.

“Y/n, you have been through so much. Not just today but in your life. You have always been the one to take the blame for others, working harder or longer than anyone else and caring for those who never return the favor,” he says, his eyes glance at the men surrounding you as he sees nods of understanding and looks of concern from them.

As a soft smile blooms on his face, he holds onto your good hand, “Take time for yourself and let this pack of Alphas take care of you. You deserve it more than anyone else I know.”

He pulls you into a hug. You briefly stiffen, waiting for the growling and pulling to start, but to your surprise, it doesn't. Relaxing into his hug, you take his words to heart.

A soft whisper in your ear: “You know you will always have Evie and me as your family pack, but right now, be open to the pack around you. " With one last squeeze, Derek steps back and returns to your desk. "Now, shoo! Off you go. The boss said I’ll get to man the front desk for now.”

With a nod, you wave goodbye and face the hybrids behind you. After not finding Manager Sejin and a few others missing, your eyes settle automatically on Namjoon. With a slight frown, you wait for a clue as to what to do next.

“Manager Sejin went down to get the cars. Seokjin-hyung, Hoseok-hyung, and Jimin-ah also went down because we won’t all fit in the elevator,” reassures Namjoon.

“Oh,” you feel a slight tightening in your chest after realizing you didn’t even notice they had gone.

“Miss Y/n, let's take you to get looked at,” Jungkook says while inching towards the office doors. His Alpha wanting to get you away from the hallway that leads to the offices where he knows the Playmates who hurt you are being kept.

You follow the bunny and wolf hybrid while still sandwiched between the tiger and jaguar hybrids. Walking through the halls, you gain some attention from the people you pass. You’re a mere human surrounded by some of the hottest Idols in the world right now. So why wouldn’t they?

Not willing to look up, you keep your eyes cast down to the feet in front of you as you try to avoid what you are a gazillion percent sure are looks of disgust and hate toward you. Normally, you can walk the halls without drawing attention unless Reina is around. While Reina made sure everyone noticed you in a negative way, you fail to notice the glaring looks of the Alphas surrounding you, which has silenced most of the current gossiping.

Once the elevator doors open, the tiger lets out a low growl. Glancing up, you see two fellow PMS employees quickly scamper out of the elevator and down the hall. Well, that is another embarrassing incident that you will have to deal with when you return to work.

Namjoon and Jungkook take the back corners. Looking at the men by your sides, they motion for you into the elevator next. However, when you go to stand in another corner, you are quickly ushered back into the middle with Yoongi and Taehyung in front of you. 

The tense energy calms down as the doors close. The threats in the hallway, the Playmate enemies, and the bumbling director are no longer a concern. The four Alphas relax now that they are the only ones to surround you and are taking care of you. 

Even if your trust in them starts with an injury, they know this is their chance to show you what it means to be taken care of, acknowledged as precious, and loved endlessly by the seven of them. 

As the elevator doors part, you're immediately greeted by the remaining packmates waiting for you, smiles warm and welcoming. They're surrounded by more men in black, whom you assume are bodyguards. The sheer amount of people outside the elevator is a bit intimidating.

Turning to look at you, Yoongi speaks for the first time since he entered Alpha Space, “Take home. Keep safe.”

Previous / Next

Taglist - CLOSED

@braveangel777 @bethanysnow @smileykiddie08 @kayways @danielle143 @nenefix-on @im-gemmy @fluffy-canada-pancakes @staytinyville @juju-227592 @levislifeline @carolinexkpop @m00njinnie @drenix004 @singukieee @avadakadabra93 @dazzlingjade @sehun096rainbow @sunshinecallie

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

So, I been curious and I wonder if you have answers; how strong is Idia? I know physically that a new born kitten could woop him, while technology wise not even the master control could stand against him, but what about magic wise? And where does he stand in comparison to the other dorm heads? I know in ch 6 he was strong as heck but isn't that mainly because he was getting energy from the blots?

(Thank you for your time)

Mmm, well... I don't think "magic strength" alone accounts for how good of a mage someone is. You could have all the power in the world but could be a terrible mage just because of how you use it (like if you lack control), or perhaps because you can only cast a few powerful spells before you blow through your energy reserves. All spells are also not made equal; there are defensive spells, offensive spells, healing spells, and more! Because of all that, it's hard for us to really quantify how "strong" a mage is, because really each mage seems to specialize in their own skillsets. It's not "which class is the strongest?" but rather "which class fits your preferred play style?" For this reason, I'm not going to be formally ranking the dorm leaders but instead will point out their strengths and weaknesses.

As Idia points out in book 6:

Riddle has an artificially large magic pool because he started his magical training from a young age. He is capable of casting strong spells and favors offense, but also has low physical stamina and tires easily (from blot accumulation) because he tries to brute-force. His mental state is also said to be heavily impacted by external factors.

Leona can cast spells quickly and effortlessly; his magic pool is described to be "huge", but we don't know how this really relates to the other problem children in terms of scale. He also seems to boast precision, as he can "tailor" his defensive spells' strength to counter his opponents. Because of how efficient Leona is, he barely accumulates unnecessary blot. Stress does not have much effect on how fast he produces blot, but intense emotions do cause a significant spike in him. Additionally, Leona is skilled in flight due to playing magift/spelldrive.

Azul is a relatively slow spellcaster but makes up for that with precision and access to a variety of spells. He watches the flow of a battle, keeps cool, and then plays support/heals as needed. Idia also notes that while Azul can cast many different spells, Azul also does not have a large enough magic pool to support them and so has to be more careful about what and when he uses his magic.

Vil is very stable across the board and is quite resilient to blot. Stress does not have a huge effect on him, but the blot does seem to stick around for longer because of his larger magic pool. Something else to keep in mind is that Vil excels in making potions, which is another form of magic.

Please keep in mind that these refer to mainly COMBAT scenarios, which are not the only cases in which you would use magic... so this isn't an entirely accurate assessment; it's just the most convenient assessment since the game blatantly lays the comparisons out for us. Let's now piece together what we know of the remaining dorm leaders based on lore we have:

Kalim does not strike me as someone who has a particularly large pool of magic (it's never commented on, nor shown). I'd place him at around normal until otherwise refuted by the canon. We know he's not particularly proficient in his studies, as he just barely scrapes by in classes with intense help from Jamil. This may not always translate to poor performance in practical settings, but we also have no standout moments of Kalim pulling off impressive spells or being a notable mage. He also doesn't seem to be aware of the practical or strategic uses for his own UM unless others in his immediate vicinity are in need of large amounts of water. It's possible that he's incredibly powerful, but lacks awareness of how to best utilize his magic.

Malleus is stated in the lore to be one of the top 5 mages in the WORLD. He uses magic on a daily basis and barely blinks an eye to when he does amazing feats like STOPPING TIME ITSELF. Book 7 also reveals to us a hypothesis that fae might have access to an essentially limitless reserve of magic because they pull that magic from nature itself. I'd say that this definitively places Malleus at the top of the "magical power" hierarchy--there was never any doubt about that, the problem just comes in trying to sort everyone else under him.

And then there's Idia, whom we don't really see performing magic much by himself. No, he prefers to tinker with his computer parts which, technically, can count as magic since technomancy is the combination of technology and magic. (Does Ortho count as something resulting from Idia's "magic power"??) It's hard to say.

If I had to guess, I would think Idia is another stable user like Vil but is also highly volatile like Riddle (due to his guilt and grief being the main source of trauma). Idia HAS to cast spells or input magic into his devices because of his curse; if he does not accumulate blot, there's nothing for his curse to dine on... so it'll dine on his own magic instead, which can be detrimental to his health and wellbeing. (This is why the Shrouds are perfect candidates to work at STYX and research blot. All the blot present in STYX HQ fuels them and feeds their curses.) This implies Idia has to have output, and consistent output at that. More blot present in the immediate area may be able to power him up more and allow him to cast more spells/cast spells more frequently, but that's again highly dependent on his environment. Idia has the "flexibility" that the other dorm leaders lack, which can be a curse or a blessing given the scenario. Make of that what you will!

[moonstruckme]

Hi! I am absolutely in love with your writing! The way you portray our boys is just *chefs kiss*

Anywho, I was wondering if I could request poly!marauders x plus size reader? Maybe she is very confident until somebody picks on her and she starts becoming obsessed with dieting and stuff. (I'm struggling a lot with that rn) just a bunch of worry and comfort from our boys.

If you don't feel comfortable writing this or just the prompt I gave it's okay. Ily!♡

Hi, thanks for requesting my love! I'm really sorry you're struggling right now, I know how hard it can be and hope you're doing your best to take good care of yourself. You're beautiful just as you are <33

cw: size insecurity, behavior that hints at disordered eating

poly!marauders x plus size!reader ♡ 1.2k words

The worst part is, you know they weren’t even really trying to insult you. 

You smiled as best you could, said your thanks politely, and moved on. Moved on outwardly, that is. Inside, the words play over and over in your head, like a song on the radio that gets worse each time you listen to it. It wasn’t that they were vicious, or particularly clever, or even wrong. It’s just, you’re not used to people commenting on your body like that. 

You know you’re not skinny. So does everyone else. Neither of you typically feel the need to confer about it. Every now and again, some cruel busybody will say something, but that’s fairly easy to brush off. They’re insecure about their own looks, they have nothing better to do than fixate on strangers’ appearances, they’ve probably been on diet pills since they were twelve. You wish them well and mostly forget about it. But what’s worse is when someone comes to you with good intentions. The idea of being perceived as pitiful or wrong—really, having your physical form perceived at all—by someone who seems to want the best for you is what really hurts. That’s what makes you want to hide, to shrink yourself down until they can’t see you anymore. To become the invisible status quo. 

It’s why, over the last few days, anything skintight or remotely showy has been relegated to the back of your closet in favor of things that hide your figure. Why you’ve stopped drawing attention to yourself with colorful makeup and instead started focusing on your health. Well, your health as it presents itself externally. 

“Anyone else fancy a dessert?” Sirius muses as you sit reading on the couch, Remus reading the next book in the series beside you. 

“Um, no,” James says, holding up a hand of cards from the game he and Sirius have been playing, “you only want to go so you don’t have to stick around and lose.” 

“Whatever my other, subconscious motives may be,” Sirius says guilelessly, “I really feel like something chocolate. Don’t you, Moons?”

That’s always a safe bet. Remus looks up from his book, intrigued. “I could go for some chocolate.” 

Sirius grins. “What about you, gorgeous?”

That’s usually a safe bet too. But you shouldn’t. “Thanks, but I’m still full from dinner.” 

Sirius looks cheated, and Remus cocks his head at you. “Really? Didn’t seem like you ate much.” He’s not wrong. Remus had made the most incredible feta pasta, it was borderline heartbreaking to leave any on your plate. But you’re trying to practice restraint, and thankfully, James had happily taken care of your leftovers for you. “Did you have a late lunch or something?”

“Mhm.” 

James looks up, eyebrows furrow bemusedly behind his glasses. “No you didn’t, angel. You said you didn’t feel like lunch after we had breakfast together, remember?”

“Oh.” You nod. So what? You’d had a late breakfast, and a decently sized dinner, and why do you really need more than two meals anyway? Who made that rule? You’re a bit hungry, but your body just needs time to adjust to your new routine. It’s used to overindulging. And nothing about today means you deserve dessert. “Right.” 

Sirius wraps his fingers delicately around your ankle, smoothing a path up your shin with his palm. “Darling,” he says, and he looks distracted as he runs his fingers over the old scars on your knee, but you know him well enough to recognize when he’s keyed in, “did you eat anything today, other than breakfast and that little bit of dinner? Any snacks or anything?” 

You can’t help the little rush of pride that goes through you. “No.” 

Sirius doesn’t look proud. In fact, he’s frowning, as are Remus and James. You change tactics. “I’m not really hungry, though.” 

“No?” Sirius' voice is unsettlingly gentle. “Why don’t you want to have dessert tonight, pretty girl?”

“Because,” you say, beginning to feel defensive (though you’re not sure of what), “I don’t need it.” 

“It’s not about need, though,” James says, and why is it beginning to feel like you’re in an argument? “It’s about what you want. Do you want a little something sweet?”

“I…” Yes. The answer is yes, but do you want it more than you want to feel good about yourself? “I think what I want more is to prove to myself that I can go without it.” 

Remus’ scars shift as his face scrunches in concern. “Dove,” he says, and you can’t decide if his tone is more reprimand or pity. You don’t like either option. “Where is this coming from?” 

“I’m just…I’m trying something new,” you decide. “I want to lose a little weight, okay? Nothing crazy.” 

“But why?” James sets down his cards, looking completely befuddled. “Angel, you’re gorgeous. You can do whatever you want, but we love you just like you are.” 

“And,” Sirius adds before you can reply, “we love you most when you’re happy. I sort of thought,” he says, lowering his voice like he’s telling you a secret, “that our late-night treat runs made you happy. No?”

“They do.” You pull your legs up onto the couch, away from Sirius’ touch. “I just…I think it would make me happy to be a more normal size, too.” 

Remus looks gutted. “Honey, you…it’s your body, and you should do whatever feels right for you to be healthy, but…we love you like this,” he insists, ardent. “You’re beautiful, I mean it, and I hate the idea that you might want to change for…well, for anyone other than yourself.” 

You hesitate. You’re not actually sure who you’re doing this for. When had you become one of the people who want for you to be smaller so desperately? “You seriously don’t think I would look better if I were thinner?” You’ve never been one to put much stock into what any men think of your appearance, so you feel silly for asking, but you’re in a vulnerable state. And really, don’t all guys want a girl that looks like the love interests in the movies you all grew up with? 

James looks you in the eye, letting you see the earnestness in his as he says, “You’re absolutely lovely, right here, right now. We wouldn’t change a thing.” 

Your answering smile is oddly watery. Remus makes an awfully lovely cooing sound, leaning over to wrap an arm around your waist and paying no mind to the chub there as he pulls you into his side. “Don’t be upset, darling. You know what I bet will cheer you up?” He smiles as you look up at him questioningly, kissing between your brows. “Some chocolate. How would you feel about that?”

You let out a quiet little laugh. “Pretty good.” 

“Yes!” Sirius pumps his fist in the air, already abandoning his cards and standing up. “I knew you’d come through, gorgeous. Now I think the more pressing question is, do we want chocolate pastries or chocolate ice cream?”

“Ice cream, obviously,” James says. “Before it gets so cold out we don’t feel like it.” 

“Not all of us suffer from weather constraints,” Sirius argues. “I vote pastry.” 

“Why would you bring ice cream up if you didn’t want it? Think long and hard, Pads. Are you going to feel like a frozen dessert when you need three layers to go outside in a few weeks?”

Remus rolls his eyes at you as you follow them out the door, letting your boys continue their bickering all the way to the store.

[nanamisbitch]

Hii new account!! So um I wanted if you could like write the jjk men when you ask them out! Please and thank youuu !! 💗💗

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Jujutsu kaisen men when: you ask them out ♡

⊹ ࣪ ˖ features : gojo, geto, nanami, Megumi, yuji, yuta, ino ♡

------------------------------------------------------------

P.s. thank you anon!! Omg definitely wasn't expecting my first req to come 40 mins after my guidelines!! Also if the content seems a bit disconnected please let me know. But yeah hope you like it! (It's my first write please be merciful (also critiques are always appreciated just don't be mean love ♡))

⤷G. Satoru

He definitely knew you had a crush on him. I mean who wouldn't! He's THE gojo satoru. And guess what ? He had a crush on you too! In the beginning he denied his feelings, but gradually (as he got to his senses🙄) he realised he had feelings for you. That meant even more teasing than usual, accidentally brushing his hands against yours, accidentally bumping into you in the hallway, accidentally grazing your shoulder etc. He would start subtly flirting with you dropping compliments here and there, just to see your reaction and tease you about it.

Soon after you realised that you liked him (too). But still you were still oblivious to the very obvious hints he was dropping to you! He thought you looked adorable the way you blushed even further now! Yet the way you didn't pick up on the hints he left you, annoyed him. BUT he's not giving up because he's THE gojo satoru 💪. He started straight up flirting with you to the point you'd be a blushing mess, only for shoko to shoo him away.

But when you finally do confess, internally he's doing a hip-hip hooray! But externally he's teasing you, "ohhh of course you have a crush on meeee~ you're absolutely lovesick heh~ I'm so handsome 'uff' it's so exhaustinggg~" you will have to smack his shoulder to quit him from teasing you, he's just gonna chuckle and confess VERY CASUALLY that he likes you too.

He'll take you out on a date to a cute pastry shop and then happily ever after~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

⤷G. Suguru

He tries to ignore the fact that he likes you but eventually he accepts it. He hides it pretty well but eventually the six eyed idiot finds out and teases the hell out of geto.

Ever since the day geto realised his feelings for you, he WILL find every excuse in the damn book to slyly hang out with you more. Means more hanging out with him! Also like his boyfriend (toru), he will most definitely tease you a lot if not more than gojo. Hiding all your stuff like books, glasses, phone etc. Also gives you a crap ton of princess treatment, for example if you're going shopping with shoko and utahime he will not let you lift a single bag, saying stuff like "you're too small lol".

And somehow SOMEHOW you end up having feelings for him. When you start getting flustered when he helps you out or when he teases you, he definitely notices just because he's observant in general. He'll end up teasing you more😒. Always says "oh do you have a crush on me?" "you must have a crush on me, why else would you be acting this way" "do I make you nervous? Ha it’s ‘cause you have a crush on me"

He wants you to admit you have feelings for him before he does himself, it’s part not wanting to face possible rejection part because he likes to see your flustered and annoyed face.

So when you ask him out for lunch, slightly annoyed he got it his way pouty, he's really happy. But of course he'll tease you about it, BUT he didn't deny the offer!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

⤷N. Kento

He didn't think he could be capable of feeling such things. But you, oh you, you barged through the gates of his heart and decided to settle there until the end of time. The moment he sees you his whole being fills with joy. He'd be blushing even when you're just saying a simple "hi kento!". So yes he's head over heels for you. He memorizes all your favourite things : your favourite song, dessert, season, you get the idea. Complimenting you subtly here and there.

Somewhere along the way you fell for him too. The way he was cool headed, respectful, caring and the list goes on...so you decided it's now or never.

The moment you confessed, kento felt such immense happiness, something he had never felt but that all was done internally. "Oh I'm glad you feel this way about me [name]. If I'm being honest I've felt the same too for a long time.......if you wouldn't mind, would you like to go out for dinner sometime, whenever you're free".

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

A/n: yesss nanami's was short (he's my favourite) please don't mind ! I will be writing more lengthy pieces IF DESIRED but otherwise yeah uh hope you liked it !

©nanami's bitch 2024 do not modify, repost, translate on any platform

[yuesya]

Verifying…

Finalizing…

100% complete. No errors found. All systems are operational. Proceed with activation?

…

Affirmed.

Control unit will be activated in 3… 2… 1…

AR-000 wakes up.

Her body does not move. Her breathing does not change. Her eyes do not open.

But all the same, awareness floods her senses –an abstract awareness consisting of the myriad mechanisms feeding input of the surrounding environment into her mind. It is only instinct, then, to grasp control of these external devices intricately linked to her systems, the knowledge of how to do so flowing automatically from instructions in her core.

The first thing that she ‘sees’ is the sight of her creators. Men and women wearing white lab coats, outfitted with various mechanical devices and other such technological augmentations. Their gazes are collectively fixated on a single point in the bright, sterile room–

On her, AR-000 realizes, turning her gaze in the same direction as her creators.

Curiosity. A vague sense of something being out of place, except she doesn’t know what it is. Confusion, and befuddlement.

Unit AR-000, designation Titania, looks at the white-haired girl sleeping behind the reinforced glass casing of an experimental capsule, countless wires connected into her body, and wonders why there’s a strange trickle of dissonance that she feels, echoing faintly in the back of her mind. As if there’s something that’s–

“Did it work?” One of the scientists, a woman with a robotic eye, leans forward anxiously. “I’m not seeing any response from her.”

“That’s because she has zero mobility, you know the schematics of her design.” Beside her, a man rolls his eyes. The woman scowls.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” she snaps tartly. “The previous attempts failed because the subject couldn’t properly develop a consciousness and maintain its sense of self in the ‘hivemind.’ Based on our data, the tuning should be right this time… but if she’s still not responding…”

Responding?

… To what?

Another scientist coughs. “U-um! Good morning, Titania…?”

“… What are you doing? Like that’s actually going to–”

[Hello.]

The voice that echoes out with her quiet greeting to her creators is strange. Artificial. She thinks that her voice shouldn’t sound like this, but why would she–?

“Oh, by the Aeons.” Movement fills the room. The scientists explode into a flurry of movement, rushing to check various contraptions and devices. “It worked! Gelos, it worked! Ha, who was the one saying that–”

“I get it, I get it! Less talking, more recording! We need to collect the data for–”

“Thank goodness, thank the heavens, thank the Monarch of Myriad Machines…”

…

In contrast to the other scientists who rush about the room like busy bees in a hive, with varying degrees of excitement and elation, there is one who approaches AR-000 silently. It takes only a fraction of a second to identify him: Chief Scientist Polus Meliseus.

He does not say anything. For a moment, the Chief Scientist only looks up towards AR-000’s unmoving body silently. He gently places a hand against the glass, and the movement is familiar, somehow.

(Why?)

The Chief Scientist blinks. A clear liquid trickles down from his eyes.

Tears, AR-000 identifies. A sign of sadness. Is there an error in her that he is upset with?

[Why are you crying, Chief Scientist?]

“Because I’m happy,” he tells her with a choked voice, thick with emotion. “Finally… it’s finally done. Thank you for being born, Titania.”

… Titania thinks that she is happy to be born, too.

[hollyethecurious]

CS AU: Once Upon A Grimm (2/?)

Summary: The world was far more complex than most people realized. Humans went about their lives, completely ignorant of the fact that there was a world of fairytales existing right alongside them. Well, not really fairytales. Not in the Disney sense, anyway. Many, like the Grimm brothers, had woven the truth into their stories, but the creatures they wrote about were even more nightmarish than their macabre and monstrous depictions. Creatures known as wesen. Supernatural, other-worldly beings who have always lived among humans and have always been hunted by those who had come to be known as Grimms. A struggle of secrecy, balance, and power among these species has existed since the beginning of time. This is a story of a man with his own struggle. The internal struggle of being a human, a wesen, and a Grimm, and the external forces that seek to eradicate one or all of his natures, especially those he tries to keep hidden. Fortunately, Killian Jones is not alone in his struggles nor his secrets. His personal savior, Emma Swan, has secrets and struggles of her own.

A/N: This fic is inspired by and will borrow from the NBC show Grimm. I confess I did not watch Grimm when it first aired, but absolutely fell in love with the show during a binge fest years later. If you have not seen the show, no worries! My beta - who has not seen the show either - assures me that it is not necessary. If you have seen the show, then I hope you’ll forgive the huge creative license I am taking with the material. This is not a strict Grimm retelling with Once characters. This is my own spin on the lore and cannon of both shows.

Sorry I am so late with this update. I underestimated how demanding real life was gonna be now that we are back in full swing with school. I'll do my best to stay on track going forward!

I cannot express how much I have enjoyed being a part of the @cssns all these years. Thank you to the mods who have kept it going year after year. We've had a terrific run! Huge shout out to @kmomof4 for always being my cheerleader and for her exceptional beta skills. A HUGE thank you and many fangirl squeals to my artist @eastwesthomeisbest for the amazing job she did on the cover art that accompanies this fic. Please go show her some love!

FYI: Because the show took cues from the Grimm brothers’ works, much of the vocabulary associated with the supernatural creatures was based on German or German coded language. For words like wesen and woge (which will be explained in the text) the w is pronounced with a v sound on the show. I’ll be using terminology from the show and more common creature names interchangeably within the fic.

Rated E (eventually) / Also available on ao3 and ff.net / buy me a coffee / add to tag list / Curious? Come Ask Me!  / Prologue

Chapter One

Two and Half Years Later…

“What have we got?”

Killian approached the scene with his partner, Robin. Their mate and uniformed officer, Will, brought them up to speed, keeping his voice low as the men conversed on the walkway that led to the grand house towering before them.

“Grace Hatter. Eight years old. Never made it to school this morning,” Will informed them, reading over his notes. “Father says she left the house at a quarter to eight like usual. An hour later he got the call from the school telling him she was absent.”

“Do we know if he’s clean?” Killian asked, assessing the distraught man who was being questioned by other officers.

“No,” Will replied. “Dad’s name is Jefferson Hatter. We're looking into him.”

“Mom?”

“Deceased.”

“Okay. Thanks, mate. We’ll go have a talk with him.”

Killian and Robin continued up the walkway. When the father caught sight of them, he rushed down the front steps to meet them halfway.

“Are you the detectives?”

“Yes, sir,” Robin responded. “Detectives Locksley and Jones. Can you tell us more about your daughter? When you last her? What she was wearing?”

“Yeah, um…” The man took a moment to try and compose himself. His hand shook as he brought it up to run down his face. A shuddering breath filled his lungs and a sob caught in the back of his throat. “She uh, she left here about 7:45. She’s wearing purple leggings and an oversized, purple top that has a white rabbit on the front of it. She also had on a red hoodie and her backpack is pink and purple with her name on it.”

“Does she often walk by herself to school?”

The man, Jefferson, nodded, tears welling in his eyes. “Ever since the beginning of the school year. She wanted… She wanted to be a big girl this year.” He took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the freshly fallen tears drops from his face. “I was reluctant, but the school isn’t far and normally she walks with another little girl and her brother down the block.”

“But not today?” Killian inquired.

“No,” Jefferson answered. “Ava and her brother are both out sick this week. Grace walked alone yesterday, so I didn’t see an issue with her walking alone again today.” His face reddened, the tears now cascading down his cheeks as he pleaded, “Please. You have to find my little girl, please!”

“We’re going to do everything we can,” Robin promised him, digging a card from his pocket. “An officer is going to stay with you as we canvas the neighborhood, but if you think of anything else, give us a call.”

“Th-Thank you, detectives,” Jefferson said, taking the card then following one of the officers back to the house.

“So, what do you think?” Robin said under his breath as they turned back towards the street and surveyed their surroundings.

“If he’s involved then he’s an excellent actor,” Killian replied. “I think it more likely she was grabbed on her way to school. The question is… where?”

The street was lined with houses on one side, facing a wooded park area. The little girl would have made her way to the end of the block then turned to go around the woods. The school was located on the other side, about seven blocks away.

“We’ve spoken with all the neighbors who are home along the route she would have taken,” Will said, joining the detectives. “No one saw anything.”

“Maybe she didn’t take the usual route,” Killian said, jutting his chin towards the woods. “Maybe she took a shortcut.”

“Dad was very specific about the route,” Will told him. “He said Grace wasn’t allowed to cut through the woods.”

“Yeah, and we all know you did everything you were told when you were a kid,” Robin quipped, slapping Will on the back before heading towards the woods.

The three of them followed the worn path, carved out of the foliage by those who had used the woods as a shortcut over the years. Although focused on the task before him, Killian could not help but acknowledge how fortunate he was to do this job with his two best mates at his side.

It had been a series of unfortunate events that had led them here. Two and half years ago, he and Robin had been uniformed officers at different precincts and Will, after washing out of the academy years before, owned a local bar. After being attacked and having his life, once again, turned upside down, Killian had spiraled a bit. Neglectful of his duty and spending too much time at Will’s bar had made him a less than stellar candidate for detective, despite his high scores on the exam. However, everything changed once more the night Will’s bar went up in flames.

Though it had been deemed arson, they still weren’t sure how it had happened. The explosion and fire claimed the lives of more than a dozen officers and detectives from both Storybrooke and Glowerhaven. In the aftermath, personnel had been reshuffled, reassigned, and reevaluated, giving Killian a second chance at a detective slot and transferring Robin to the Storybrooke precinct. Will, determined to bring the perpetrator to justice, had reapplied to the academy and finished top of his class before being assigned to the Storybrooke PD.

Although the arson case had gone cold, Killian and Robin, with an assist from their favorite uniformed patrolman, had managed to garner the highest number of closed cases of any rookie or veteran detectives within the city or its outlying suburbs. Robin often joked that the reason the three of them were so good at this job was because in another life they would have been criminals themselves - and therefore knew how their perps thought - dubbing themselves the pirate, the bandit, and the thief.

Of course, he had no idea that Killian possessed abilities beyond those of a normal human detective which gave him an advantage. Abilities he was currently applying in the hopes of bringing this little girl home safely.

When the trail forked, the trio branched off in separate directions. Once out of sight from his mates, Killian crouched down and closed his eyes, homing in on the sounds around him as he inhaled deeply. Over the years he’d made peace with his wolf side. It wasn’t always easy to keep the wesen reined in, or explain away how he’d been able to accomplish some of the things his supernatural abilities allowed him to do, but as time went on he found ways to balance his human and wesen side.

Not able to pick up anything out of the ordinary, Killian resumed his search further up the path. A moment later, Robin’s voice called out.

“I’ve got something!”

Killian rushed towards Robin’s voice, arriving alongside an out of breath Will. Both men were too focused on the pink and purple backpack laying among the ferns to notice Killian’s lack of exertion.

“Grace Hatter.” Will read the name where it had been monogrammed in bright pink, confirming it belonged to their missing girl. “She must have been grabbed somewhere in this area.”

“Careful where you step,” Killian reminded them. “Will, call it in and inform the others that we have a crime scene in Wonderland Woods Park across from the victim’s house.”

Will stepped away to radio it in, leaving the detectives to peruse the area.

“Killian, we got boot prints here. They look fresh.”

Killian noted the direction of the prints and commented, “He took her this way.” Setting off down the path, he shouted over his shoulder, “Stay with Will until CSU arrives. I’ll see where the prints lead.”

Once out of sight, Killian crouched down again and took in a deep breath. The hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention and a primal growl rumbled in the center of his chest. He could tell the scent was wesen, although he wasn’t sure what species. There was something vaguely familiar about it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

Never before, since his transition, had he ever wished for the moon to be in its full cycle. If it were, then his sense of smell would be stronger. He’d be able to discern the little girl’s scent better, as well as her abductor’s, and he’d be able to tell which direction the two had gone once they’d reached the road on the other side of the woods.

Cursing under his breath, Killian made his way back to Robin and Will. The Crime Scene Unit had already arrived and the area was being cordoned off so they could work making casts of the boot prints. Killian eyed Grace’s backpack as it was being bagged and tagged so it could be processed for fingerprints. He wished he’d gotten a chance to scent it, but the K-9 unit was already seeing to the task.

“There isn’t much more we can do here,” Robin told him. “Will and the other officers will follow up on the neighbors they didn’t get a chance to speak with earlier. Maybe one of their security cameras will have caught them coming out of the park.”

“Aye,” Killian said with a resigned sigh.

Clapping Killian on the back, Robin suggested, “Let’s go get some lunch. By the time we’re done, more evidence will have been collected and processed, then we can focus on whatever they found.”

“I suppose I could eat,” Killian relented. Robin was right. There was nothing more they could do that the other officers didn’t already have handled. They’d need their strength and their wits about them for the long afternoon and evening ahead. “Where did you have in mind?”

“How about Aesop’s?”

Killian cocked a brow his partner’s way. “Aesop’s? A bit swanky for lunch isn’t it?”

Robin shrugged. “I hear they have a great burger menu.”

“Mhmm,” Killian hummed. Something in Robin’s demeanor had him dubious as to whether that was the real reason. “I suppose we could check it out,” he replied with a shrug of his own, followed by a wolfish grin. “So long as you’re buying.”

~/~

“So that’s the real reason you wanted to come here,” Killian ribbed in a sing-song tone. “The lovely and elusive Miss Mills.”

Robin’s cheeks flamed pink behind the bun of his burger as he took as long as he possibly could to bite off then chew a mouthful.

“You know this constitutes stalking, right? Why not just ask her out?”

Robin swallowed and chased the bite with a sip of water, once again taking his time running his napkin over his mouth before placing it back in his lap.

“You’re hopeless,” Killian exasperated, getting up from his seat. He shot a wink over his shoulder to his mortified partner as he approached the nearby table, teeming with lawyers in their power suits. “Miss Mills?” he said in a feigned tone of surprise.

“Detective Jones,” she said in a friendly yet reserved greeting. “Funny running into you here?”

“Aye,” he said. “The lunch burger menu was recommended to Robin and me, so we thought we’d give it a go.” He gestured back towards the table Robin was metaphorically trying to hide beneath. Miss Mills - Regina - gave him a wave which he awkwardly reciprocated. “I won’t keep you,” Killian continued. “I was on my way to the facilities when I spotted you and just wanted to say hello. Enjoy your lunch.”

“Thank you, detective. A pleasure seeing you,” she replied, though her attention was not set on him but rather still subtly fixated on his partner.

When Killian exited the lavatory hall on his way back to the table, he slowed his steps and his lips twitched up in a smile. Robin and Regina were standing at the table conversing as the prosecutor’s colleagues were filing past, on their way out the door. Regina slipped Robin her card, her painted lip caught between her teeth, and he accepted it with a full, bright smile. Killian chuckled to himself, eager to take the mickey out of his friend, when something in Regina’s countenance shifted.

She’d turned towards the door, prepared to follow her colleagues, when her entire body went rigid. Something rippled through her expression and Killian was taken aback by what he saw.

She woged.

Regina Mills was… a hexenbeist?

No. He had to be seeing things. She couldn’t have woged. If she had, the entire restaurant would be in an uproar, especially Robin. There’s no way anyone would have missed the gruesome sight of a hexenbeist revealing her true form. Unless…

No. That wasn’t a possibility either. The full moon wasn’t in cycle yet, so there was no way he could have witnessed a demi-woge. Could he?

Regina’s features returned to normal, but her posture was still stiff and on guard. He followed her eyes to try and determine what had prompted such a response and was stunned to see another woged hexenbeist casually standing by the hostess stand. She had flaming red hair and was dressed in a tight, green dress. When her human face presented itself once more, she wore a smug, slightly challenging smirk.

Finally collecting herself, Regina marched past the woman without a word or backward glance, but the red-haired witch watched her all the way out the door and down the block.

“Did you see that?”

Robin’s question shook Killian from his shock, but a fresh, confused panic spiked within him. “See what?”

“The text,” Robin said, lifting his phone for Killian to see. “We’ve got a body.”

“A body?” Killian parroted, attempting to get his racing heart under control while processing what his partner said.

He didn’t see it, then. Didn’t see them change. Then why did I?

“Not Grace Hatter?” Killian’s heart dropped a little as his mind finally caught up.

“No,” Robin assured him. “Not the missing girl, but the captain wants us to take point on this one, too.” He beckoned Killian to follow him through the tables towards the exit. “I’ve already settled the bill. Will’s waiting for us at the scene.”

Before heading out the door, Killian scanned the restaurant for the red-headed hexenbeist, but saw no sign of her. He tried to shake off the unnerving feeling her and Regina’s woge had elicited in him. The mystery of why he had been able to see it at all would have to wait. He had more pressing issues to concern himself with.

~/~

“Are you sure this is even a homicide?” Killian heard Will ask under his breath. “Looks more like an animal attack?”

For the second time that day, Killian’s hackles rose. The scene before him was familiar. Too familiar. He could remember, as though it were yesterday, making the same inquiry to the detectives working a similar scene. A scene that had led to Killian being attacked and transformed. A scene that had been declared an animal attack after the DNA had come back as inconclusive. A scene where no other evidence had been left behind except…

“We got a boot print!”

Killian’s entire body reacted in a ripple of goose bumps and a sharp inhale confirmed the truth as a familiar scent penetrated his sinuses.

It’s him! He’s back. The blutbad who attacked me. The blutbad who made me. He’s back and he’s killed again. He’s killed again and… HE’S TAKEN GRACE HATTER!

“Oi! Kill, er… detective. You alright?”

“You look as though you’ve seen a ghost, mate.”

Killian’s Apple apple bobbed painfully. “We need to go see the Captain. Now.”

It was a quick ride back to the precinct, though Killian’s silent stewing had probably made it feel longer to his partner. Robin knew him well enough to not pepper him with questions when he was like this, allowing him space to get his thoughts together. It didn’t mean his mate didn’t side-eye him with furtive glances the entire way back to the station, though.

“Captain Gold, do you have a minute?” Killian asked at the open doorway of their captain’s office.

“For my two best detectives? Of course,” Captain Gold said, gesturing them forward. “How’s the investigation going into the missing girl? Or is this about the body we found? A jogger who was a student at the local university?”

“Actually,” Killian hedged, still unsure how he was going to convince his captain and his partner of what he knew to be fact. “It may be about both.”

“Go on.”

Killian and Robin took a seat in front of the captain’s desk. Leaning forward, Killian began to fill them in on what he’d pieced together.

“A little over two years ago, there was a hiker who was attacked in a similar fashion to how we found the jogger today.”

“I remember,” Gold said, nodding his head. “That was ruled an animal attack, wasn’t it?”

“Aye,” Killian said. “The DNA was inconclusive, but that wasn’t the only evidence left at the scene.” Flicking his eyes towards Robin, he said, “There was a boot print. Just like the one at the scene today. And that’s not all…” Sitting back, Killian wiped his hand down his face and let go a heavy breath. “The same day the hiker was attacked and killed, a little girl went missing in Glowerhaven.” Robin’s eyes widened and Killian knew he didn’t need reminding, but the Captain still needed to know. “I know because Robin helped work that case and we were mates back then.” Setting his attention back on his captain, Killian continued. “Look. I’m not saying all these cases are connected, but we did find boot prints where we suspect Grace Hatter was abducted, and it all feels a little suspect to just be coincidence.”

Captain Gold tented his fingers in front of him, and his eyes narrowed at Killian. “I’m inclined to agree,” he said, after a few agonizing seconds. “It’s all too coincidental to not look into.” His eyes shifted to Robin. “Locksley, reach out to Glowerhaven and see if you can get a copy of the missing girls file from two years ago. Check it for any similarities to the Grace Hatter case. Jones,” he continued, focusing his attention back on Killian. “Follow-up on the boot print. See if the one from the hiker’s scene matches the jogger’s, then compare it to the ones we found at the abduction site.” With a dismissing nod, he added, “Keep me informed.”

“Yes, Captain,” the two detectives replied on their way out of Gold’s office.

“How did you put all of that together?” Robin asked. “Remembering that girl from more than two years ago who went missing the same day a hiker was mauled? I don’t think I would have put that together.”

“I don’t know,” Killian deflected. “Something about that night just… stuck with me, I guess.”

“Well, good pick up,” Robin said, clapping him on the back. “I’m gonna call GPD, then head over to collect those files. Check in later?”

“Aye,” Killian told him. “Later.”

It took Killian less time to confirm the boot prints were a match at all three scenes than it did for Robin to make it back with the files. Although it proved the crimes may be connected, the boots that matched the prints were a very common brand. It would be nearly impossible to find their suspect that way. Frustrated, Killian shot off a text to Robin and Will, letting them know he was gonna go out for some air.

There had to be a way of finding this monster.

Not that he hadn’t already tried. He’d gone back to the scene of the hiker’s mauling time and time again in search of any clues, hoping to discover the identity of the killer and the wesen who had turned him. Once the case had been cleared from homicide, investigators believing a wolf or mountain lion had caused the grizzly death, there had been little Killian could do inside the law. He’d been too preoccupied with the changes he was facing as a newly made wesen to pursue the blutbad on his own, and too worried about what his brother’s reaction might have been if he’d turned the case over to a Grimm. A Grimm who might have been able to detect such changes in his little brother.

Now, he couldn’t help but feel as though the jogger’s death and the missing girl were his fault. He should have told Liam about the rogue blutbad or gone after it himself.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake this time.

Digging his phone from his pocket, Killian dialed his brother’s number and held his breath as the call rang.

This is Liam Jones. I’m not available to take your call. Leave me a message.

“Liam. It’s Killian. Call me back. I’ve got a situation here that might require your expertise.”

Typical.

Killian’s phone vibrated in his hand. He glanced at the screen, expecting it to be Liam returning the call. Instead, the caller ID displayed Will’s name. Killian knew he’d been pouring over videos collected from neighborhood cameras, and he was eager to hear if he’d found anything that might help them locate the missing girl.

“Will? What you got?”

“Not much,” Will confessed over the phone. “I’ve checked all the cameras we collected from Tweedle Drive, the street the perp would have exited the woods from, and there’s nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Nothing?” Killian asked, defeated. “From the whole street?”

“Well, there’s a bit we don’t have footage of, but none of the videos show any car, truck, or van he may have used to move the girl. The only vehicle on the street at that time was the mail truck.”

“The mail truck?” Killian repeated, an idea coming to him. “Do me a favor. Find out who was working that route today and whether the postal service issues a certain type of boot for their employees' uniforms.”

“You think it was the postman?”

“It’s the only lead we’ve got,” he told Will. “If nothing else, the postal worker may have seen something. We should track them down as a potential witness.”

“I’ll get right on it.”

“Text me the name when you’ve got it.”

“Will do.”

A renewed rush of hope filled Killian as he made his way back to the precinct, but it was hindered by a fresh realization.

If the postal worker did turn out to be their suspect, then he wouldn’t be going up against their usual perp. He’d be going up against a wesen. A blutbad. And not just any blutbad… his sire. The one who had turned him. Would he know? Even without the full moon bringing out his wesen characteristics, would his sire be able to tell what he was?

Killian stopped short of the station door and did an about face. He needed to better prepare himself for this confrontation, and there was only one person who would be able to help him do so.

Searching his contacts as he made his way to his vehicle, he prayed this call would not go to voicemail.

His prayer was answered.

“Hello?”

“Swan. It’s me. I need your help.”

~/~

The fingers of her left hand drummed against the counter as the nails on her right were being assaulted by her teeth. Normally, Emma Swan would not allow a situation to unnerve her this way. Of course, it wasn’t the situation, not really, it was the man involved in the situation. The man who only came in once a month to pick up his wolfsbane tonic and share polite pleasantries with her or her brother, who assisted her at the shop. The man who had agreed to keep things between them strictly professional after the one time thing incident that had occurred early on in their association. The man who had kept to that promise… until now.

He wasn’t coming here for his tonic - the full moon was still over a week away. He wasn’t coming here for tea, or spices, or herbal remedies, or anything within the purview of her business. No. He was coming here because he needed help on a case. He was coming here because he had nowhere else to turn. He was coming here because he needed… her.

Although they had managed to keep one another at arm’s length these past two years, it hadn’t been that way at first. The month following his attack and introduction into the wesen world, they had texted and chatted numerous times, having built a rapport by the time of the next full moon.

A rapport that simmered with attraction and temptation.

Fortunately, they had both understood the seriousness underlying his stay with her during that first full moon. Setting aside the obvious chemistry between them, they focused instead on the alchemy of finding the right balance of wolfsbane. Everything had gone as expected… until it hadn’t.

“Emma, sweetie,” Granny said in her admonishing tone. “Are you trying to drive us both mad with your fidgeting?”

“Sorry, Granny,” Emma mumbled, removing her nail from her teeth and flattening both hands on the counter.

The elderly woman’s soft, weathered hand covered hers and she gave it a light, comforting squeeze. “What’s got you all riled up? You said he was a regular customer.” Her eyes narrowed and her head tilted to the side. “Is it because he’s a lycanthrope?” Patting Emma’s hand she assured, “I may not look it, but I can still hold my own. If he gets unruly, then--”

“No, it’s not like that,” Emma said, cutting the woman off in a rush, not wishing her to get the wrong impression. “Detective Jones is much more disciplined than lycanthropes are believed to be. He’s… he’s a good man.”

“Then why on earth are you worked up in such a state?” Granny inquired. “I can practically smell the anxiety and tension wafting off of you.”

Emma chewed her bottom lip, then silently cursed herself. Get a grip, Emma. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she straightened her posture and schooled her features. “It’s nothing.”

Granny let out a dubious hum. “Try again,” she said. “If you want me to help a lycanthrope - and a detective to boot - that has you all tied up in knots then you’re gonna have to give me a reason.”

Emma released a heavy sigh. She knew Granny was right. The woman was going out on a limb for her, the least she could do was give her the truth.

Given that she expected the detective to arrive at any moment, Emma quickly told Granny about her and Killian’s first meeting, and the subsequent month that had followed.

“Sounds like the two of you became fast friends,” Granny remarked, though Emma thought she could detect something slightly off in the woman’s tone. “What happened?”

Glancing at the door, Emma wasn’t sure if she was irritated or relieved that he hadn’t arrived yet. She’d never told anyone what had happened.

“He came to stay with me for the full moon, as planned,” she began.

“Here?” Granny asked, knowing the proprietor lived above her shop.

“Yes,” Emma confirmed. “In my spare room. I wanted us to be close to the workshop so I could make adjustments on the fly.”

“What do you mean?”

Swallowing, Emma told Granny about the experiments they did, testing the effectiveness of the wolfsbane. “Things like, provoking his temper and trying to elicit responses that were more primal,” she hedged, with half a shrug of her shoulder, “to see how well he could keep control under such stimuli.”

“And?” Granny prompted. “How did he do?”

“He did great,” Emma said, then winced slightly as she added, “Until August showed up.”

A knowing huff left Granny. “Yeah. I’d imagine the presence of another male might have set him off a bit. Did your brother come away unscathed?”

“Barely,” Emma replied. “Killian didn’t know who August was and when he saw him hugging me he… woged.”

“As in… fully?”

“Yeah.”

“That must have been intense for all of you.”

“It was,” Emma sighed. “I had to use magic to diffuse the situation, but once cooler heads prevailed and I was able to introduce the two of them, I thought things were resolved.”

“Until?”

Emma’s mind flashed back to the morning after he’d woged and tried to attack August. The morning after the final full moon.

“So… you made it through your first full moon.”

“Aye. Thanks to you, love.”

“No need to thank me,” she told him. “I should be thanking you.”

“For?”

“For not ripping out my idiot brother’s throat,” she said in a tone mixed with amusement and annoyance. “I told him not to come here this weekend, but does he listen?”

Killian hummed, a sultry, toe-curling sound, and sauntered forward. “Perhaps gratitude is in order then?” he murmured, tapping his lips suggestively with a raised brow and challenging smirk.

“Yeah,” she said, a little breathlessly. “That’s what the thank you was for.”

Another sinful sound echoed past his lips as he pressed further into her personal space. “Is that all your brother’s life is worth to you?”

“Please,” she scoffed with an eye roll, trying, and failing, to get her heart rate under control, knowing full well he could probably hear its erratic beat. “You couldn’t handle it.”

The corner of his lips lifted in a feral and taunting manner. “Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

The crack of the t against his tongue reverberated through her, and without thought she grabbed the lapels of his jacket, fusing her mouth to his. It took him the briefest of seconds to respond, inhaling deeply before thoroughly devouring her.

It was hot. It was primal. It was all-consuming.

“That was…”

It was a big fucking mistake.

“A one time thing,” she murmured, pulling back from his chasing lips. “We… we can’t do this. I… I can’t do this.”

Releasing him, she took several steps back, unable to meet his eye or look upon his confused expression.

“Swan,” he panted, both of them still working to catch their breath. “Have I… Have I done something? I know attacking your brother was bad form. Please don’t think I’m unaware of the seriousness of that--”

“No, it’s… it’s not that,” she said. “I know you didn’t really have control over--”

“Then what?” he asked. “What’s changed?”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Emma rocked back on her heels and said, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to… I mean… this is all new to you and the last thing we both need is to complicate an already complex situation. I think it would be best if we… kept things professional between us.”

She braced herself for his response, expecting him to be angry. Expecting him to accuse her of leading him on, or taking advantage of him while he was vulnerable. She hadn’t expected him to run a hand through his hair while letting go a heavy sigh before agreeing with her.

“Aye,” he said, softly. “Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps now is not the best time to…” Flicking his too blue gaze up to hers, he gave her an earnest smile. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me, Swan. I think I’ll be able to manage on my own now, thanks to you.”

“You’ll still need the tonic each month,” she reminded him with a slight edge of panic in her voice. She didn’t mean for their association to end altogether. “And you can still call or text me if you have questions about--”

“Thank you,” he interjected, cutting her off before she could continue with her offer. “I’ll swing in for the tonic in a month’s time. I’ll be sure to let you know if there are any issues regarding the treatment.” Reaching up, he pawed at a patch of skin behind his ear. “I, uh… I should go. I have a shift in an hour.”

“Right,” she said, letting him pass so he could collect his things from where he’d set them by the door. “See you next month?”

“Aye, Swan,” he said over his shoulder as he exited the shop. “See you then.”

“Only… I didn’t see him then,” she told Granny. “I chickened out and left the order with August.”

“Are you telling me,” Granny chastised, “that you haven’t seen that young man since--”

“No!” Emma replied, indignantly. “Of course I’ve seen him. We just… it’s been…” Another heavy sigh expelled out of her lungs. “After our… shared moment, I did avoid him for a bit and I know he struggled to cope with his transition, which made me feel worse about how we left things, but then there was this fire at his friend’s bar, and he made detective, and I don’t know… something about him changed. Things were less weird when he came in and we managed to carve out this nice, albeit superficial, relationship and yet--”

“The feelings are still there?”

Emma laughed a rather hysterical sounding laugh. “Uh, no. No feelings. I mean, obviously I care about him, as a person, but my current demeanor has nothing to do with feelings.”

“Oh? What does it have to do with, then?”

Emma didn’t get a chance to answer the woman’s smug question. The bell over the door chimed and the two women's heads snapped in its direction. In walked Killian Jones, as handsome and alluring as ever.

“Swan,” he greeted with a reverential nod. “Thank you for seeing me.”

“Of course,” she managed to choke out, her mouth having gone dry. Clearing her throat, she gestured towards Granny and introduced, “This is, uh, Granny Lucas. She runs the new B&B and diner up the street. I thought she might be able to help. Granny, this is Detective Jones.”

“Please,” he said, taking Granny’s hand and offering it a polite shake. “Killian will do.”

“A pleasure to meet you, detective,” Granny said, obviously sizing him up. “You’re not at all what I expected.”

“Meaning?”

Her gaze still assessing him, Granny quipped, “Most lycanthropes have me wanting to rip out their throats within seconds of meeting them, but you… you’re different.”

Killian’s brows shot up and his eyes flicked to Emma even as he continued to address Granny. “It seems you have me at a disadvantage,” he said a little too calmly. “You know about me, yet I have no idea why Swan brought you in on--”

“Granny’s a blutbad,” Emma blurted out, causing his brows to raise even higher as his head snapped back to the elderly woman. “I thought, seeing as you said your case had something to do with a blutbad, and that you needed more information about them, that you’d like to have your questions answered by someone who--”

“Not just any blutbad,” he said, cutting her off in a tone laced with menace and anger. “The blutbad.”

Emma gasped. “The one who turned you?”

“Aye.” His gaze turned dark and his features hardened. “He’s back and he’s killed again. He’s even taken a little girl captive.”

“That’s terrible,” Emma said, keeping herself from reaching out to offer him a hand of comfort. “When did you--”

“Today,” he told her, catching both women up on the case of the little girl and the jogger and how he’d connected them to the cases from over two years ago.

“We found matching boot prints at the crime scenes, but I also detected his scent at each location. I knew there was something familiar about it, but didn’t put it together until I smelled it mixed with the jogger’s blood. It brought back the olfactory memory of that night,” he said, momentarily getting lost in thought until he shook his head and added, “Of course… I can’t enter that into evidence. Fortunately, we have a lead, but I am wary of confronting him without knowing more.”

“More?” Granny said, her countenance a bit stand-offish and very imposing. “Like what?”

“Like,” Killian hedged, wetting his lips and taking a moment to assess Granny as she had him. “Whether I’ll be able to know him by scent even if he isn’t woged. Typically, I can’t detect wesen by scent whilst they’re in their human form or see them demi-woge unless it's the full moon, so I can only assume he was in full woge when he abducted the girl and attacked the jogger.”

Granny remained stoic and stone-faced, still unsure whether she should trust the gemacht wesen in front of her.

“Look,” Killian said with a tone of authority Emma imagined he employed often in his line of work. “I know there’s a code among wesen. This desire to look after one's own kind. But this guy is a killer. He’s killed two people that we know of and may, even now, be holding a little girl captive, so please. Help me find him. Help me find her.”

The reminder of the little girl softened Granny’s features. “If he’s done what you say he has, then he’s putting us all at risk.” Quickly, she flicked her gaze to Emma then back to him, conceding, “You’re right. There is a code among wesen, but it only extends so far. It sounds to me like this blutbad has gone feral, and his behavior is only going to escalate the longer he’s allowed to run wild.”

“Then… you’ll help me?”

Her posture relaxed further and she stepped up to the counter, bringing her closer to both Killian and Emma. Nodding, she said, “Yes, I’ll help you.”

A relieved breath fell from Emma’s lips and she took Granny’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you, Granny.”

Granny patted her hand then straightened her shoulders, getting down to business. “Now, I’m no expert on lycanthropes, but unless he fully woges, I don’t think you’ll be able to tell whether your suspect is the blutbad you’re looking for. If he is feral, then it wouldn’t take too much to provoke a response, but you’d have to be ready. Once he woges… he’ll be out for blood.”

Emma saw a shudder pass over the detective and she wondered if he was remembering his own experience with an uncontrolled woge.

“What about the girl?” Killian asked. “What motive would he have for taking her?”

Granny pursed her lips together then hesitantly replied. “If he’s feral, and attacked someone before, then he’s likely gotten a taste for human blood.” Killian and Emma both grimaced, sickened by the notion. “I’d wager he attacked and fed on that jogger first. Probably lost control. He knows he’ll be good for another week until the urge takes hold again, but by then it’ll be the full moon and it’ll be risky for him to be out and about. He probably took the girl in preparation of making a meal of her later. Taking her now gives him time to fatten her up.”

Emma thought she might be sick, and while she could see the shared disgust in Killian’s face, she also saw rage.

Granny caught his eye and imparted, “Having her will make him even more territorial and dangerous. So you’ll need to be ready for anything.”

“Will he, uh…” Killian began, haltingly. “Will he be able to discern who I am? What I am?”

“No,” Granny said, shaking her head. “I only made that quip about lycanthropes because Emma had already told me what you are… and I wanted to see how you’d react. You ought to know by now that wesen can only sense you during the full moon.”

“Aye, but he isn’t just any wesen,” Killian countered. “He’s my maker. Are you sure that won’t have an effect?”

“I don’t see why it would.”

Killian’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, a reluctant question seemed to pause at the tip of his tongue.

“So there won’t be any… connection between us, then? No weird side effort of my turning that would make me sympathetic towards him or beholden in some way?”

Granny scoffed and cocked an amused brow at him. “Such sire bonds only exist in fiction.”

Killian’s head fell in relief and Emma could now detect how much tension he must have been carrying over that worry.

“Gemacht sometimes latch on to those who aid and guide them through their transition, and many times that is the wesen who turned them, so if you were to have bonded onto someone it would have been the person who was there for you at the beginning of and during your first change.”

Killian’s head snapped up, his eyes locking onto Emma’s. Her heart stuttered, then began pounding in her chest while her breath remained trapped in her lungs.

Granny’s gaze volleyed between the two of them, her heading tilting to one side as she quipped, “I suppose that explains the pent up tension I’ve been sensing between you two.” A warm smile lifted the corners of her mouth in response to their awkward reaction to the call out, and she assured them, “Don’t worry. The bond was temporary. I dare say enough time has passed that it would be gone altogether.” Her no nonsense demeanor returned as she focused her attention solely back on Killian and asked, “Anything else?”

Unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth, Killian cleared his throat and said, “Just one last thing… Do you know who this blutbad might be?”

“Afraid not,” Granny told him with obvious regret in not being able to provide him a name. “I only relocated to Storybrooke a few months ago, and I find it best to avoid my kind as much as possible.” Her eyes fell down to the counter and on a bit of a grumble she added, “Bad things happen when we get into a pack. Especially when we see red.”

Killian’s eyes went wide.

“What?” Emma asked. “What is it?”

Killian locked eyes with her once more. “The little girl. Grace. She was last seen wearing a red hoodie. And the jogger and hiker both had on red jackets when their remains were found.”

“So, red provokes him?” Emma said, shaking her head in confusion. “But you weren’t wearing red when he attacked you. You were in uniform.”

“Which,” Granny interjected, “along with your natural demeanor of dominance and authority, he would have seen as a threat.”

“Which means he’ll likely view me as a threat when I confront him.”

“Most likely,” Granny warned. She glanced at the clock on the wall, and Emma knew she needed to get going so she could get back to the diner before the evening rush. “My advice,” she said, rounding the counter on her way out. “When you do confront him, do it alone. You don’t want him to feel trapped or backed into a corner, and if things go badly…”

“Aye,” Killian agreed. “I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”

Extending her hand, Granny offered him a sincere expression as he accepted the gesture. “Take care of yourself, Detective. I hope you can bring him to justice, but if not… bring him down any way you can.”

With that, she said a quick goodbye to Emma then exited the shop.

“Tough old bird,” Killian said in her wake, causing Emma to huff out an amused breath.

“Yeah. Granny is… something else.”

“Terrifying, I believe is the word you’re looking for,” he quipped with a light chuckle.

The two shared a laugh then stood awkwardly regarding one another for a long moment before Killian cleared his throat and said, “Um… thank you, Swan. I truly appreciate your help. I didn’t know who else to--”

“It was nothing,” Emma blurted out, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I mean… I was happy you called and that I could…”

Her words fell away and a wash of something akin to embarrassment or bashfulness swept over her. Her face was hot and her palms were starting to get slick.

You're being ridiculous, Emma. You’re not a silly school girl unsure of what to say to her crush. In fact… you don’t have a crush. This isn’t a crush. This is--

Killian’s phone chimed with a notification. Pulling it from his pocket, he checked the text and his grip tightened to the point that Emma feared he’d crack the screen.

“Killian? What is it?”

Slowly, Killian’s eyes lifted and met hers. The look that swirled in those blue depths made her breath hitch.

“We found him, Swan.” His voice was low, almost a growl, and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand in a way that caused her to shiver.

“Who is he?” she asked in a whisper, only vaguely aware that she was rounding the counter to move towards him.

His eyes never left hers and once she was standing before him, they flickered between her own as he answered. “His name is Quinn Adair. His address puts him outside of the city. Out in the woods.”

Emma swallowed hard as an eruption of worry filled her chest. “Are you… You’re not going to go after him now are you?”

“I have to, Swan,” he insisted. “He has Grace, remember? I have to get to her before he…”

Emma nodded, knowing that time was of the essence for that poor girl who was probably terrified out of her mind.

“Just… be careful?” she said, wetting her lips, which caused his gaze to drop down briefly. “And, um… Call me later so I know how it… so I know the girl is okay… and you.”

“Aye,” he said, pocketing his phone. “I will. I promise.”

She expected him to rush out after that, but he continued to stand there. Conflicted.

“Swan, I know this isn’t the time, but… what Granny said earlier. About us. About the bond that might have been created between us. Was that… Was that the reason you pulled away? Did you suspect?”

“Killian, I…” Emma didn’t know what to say. It would certainly be a plausible reason to give him. One that was safer than the truth.

It would be a lie, though.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, waving off the question and sparing her from having to answer. “As Granny said, whatever was going on between us at the time, it’s likely run its course, so…”

“So?”

Stepping forward, Killian grabbed her hand and lightly held it in his. A rush of goosebumps swept up her arm when his thumb brushed over her knuckles.

“So… Maybe when this case is solved and things go back to relative normalcy, we could… try again?”

“Try again?” Emma parroted. A contradictory cocktail of hope, elation, dread, and panic collided within her as her good sense warred with her wants and desires.

“As friends, I mean,” he clarified, and in tamping down her own disappointment she missed the tone of it in his voice. “We had the start of something I was beginning to cherish and I miss…”

“Me, too,” she told him, turning her hand in his so she could give it a squeeze. Maybe it was reckless. She’d avoided close relationships all her life for a reason, and yet… “I’d love to start again. As friends.”

His smile took her breath away, but it was quickly schooled so he could focus on the dangerous task that lay before him.

“Do you want me to come with you?” she asked, filled with concern about him facing his maker alone. “I know Granny said not to make him feel trapped or backed into a corner, but I doubt he’d see me as a threat. And I doubt he’d be expecting a witch.”

His lip curled up on one side. “As much as I would love to see him go up against your magic, I won’t put you in harm's way like that.” When she opened her mouth to argue, he quickly added, “Besides. I need to try and do this by the book. I’m a cop before anything else.”

“I get that,” Emma relented, begrudgingly. “But I’m going to keep my phone close by in case you get in over your head and change your mind.”

“In over my head?” he said in feigned offense. “I’ll have you know, love,” he murmured in a low timber, edging a bit closer to her. “If there is one thing I’m good at… it’s surviving.”

“Mhmm,” Emma hummed, meeting his taunting expression of challenge with one of her own. “Well, I’m going to insist that you stop by afterward in order to prove that to me.”

He smiled down at her, another message alerting from his phone, indicating it was past time for him to go.

“As you wish.”

Chapter Two - Coming Soon!

Tagging the Curious Crew: (add to tag list)

(Please be advised that I only keep one tag list for all fic updates and new works. If at any time you wish to be removed, just shoot me an ask or a DM. No worries.)

@kmomof4 @jrob64 @zaharadessert @laianely @booksteaandtoomuchtv

@the-darkdragonfly @undercaffinatednightmare @killianxswan @mie779 @motherkatereloyshipper

@jennjenn615 @jonesfandomfanatic @anmylica @superchocovian @caught-in-the-filter

@winterbaby89 @wyntereyez @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @gingerchangeling

@exhaustedpirate @cocohook38 @donteattheappleshook @lfh1226-linda @teamhook

@jackieorioncat @paradiselady19 @snowbellewells @earanemith @ultraluckycatnd

@pirateherokillian @calmjoonie @unworried-corsair @tiganasummertree @captainswan-kellie

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@qualitycoffeethings @idristardis @phoenix-untamed @bluewildcatfanatic @bananachickens

[atthebell-moved]

quackity's letter on the election, qsmp as fiction, and being respectful to creators & communities

transcription:

Having said all this [laughs], having said all this, uh, we do need to make one thing clear, and that's actually a very important page stipulated on the document, which you guys will be able to access very soon, in digital form. Is, the following, and I need everyone to keep this in mind, um. And actually, I could read this, I'm gonna read this, which is the most important part, is keep in mind that these elections are not real life, they're not real, they are for entertainment purposes only. [reading from the slide] So treat this as a lighthearted event, have fun and be respectful.

And actually, there is a message, which, I was gonna let people get to it, but I'm going to read it for you guys. Um, and this is, this is a letter of me to the community which is very important. Um, and it says this, [laughs] and this is all true, I wrote this myself, so.

[reading from the letter in the election document] Um, I'm very excited and humbled by all the support QSMP has received since the beginning of its creation. The main objective of the server has always been to promote the unification of communities and very talented creators, and it has done so in an incredible way. To see communities and creators share the same passion that I had when bringing this project to life is something that I appreciate from the bottom of my heart, so thank you guys. QSMP, just like any engaging piece of media out there, can evoke real and raw emotions, and that is something the team behind all this project is very very proud of.

[still reading from the letter] This following document is a manual for all creators for an upcoming QSMP elections event and, though the very premise of this concept can easily evoke these passionate and real emotions, I do urge all communities and creators to remember that this whole event is made for entertainment purposes only. Some creators from QSMP, like I said just now, will be participating in a simulated, and made up election process.

[seems to stop reading from the letter for a moment and looks at the camera] This is not real life, okay?

[back to reading the letter] And whereas I completely understand the love and passion some of you will share towards this next arc in the series, I urge all communities not to express hurtful and external negative emotions towards the creators on QSMP that will be participating in this event, nor towards their communities.

Remember, it's a simulation, meant for entertainment pur--[stutters and laughs] purposes only, and this is not a real life election. And although we encourage everyone-- We do encourage everyone to support their favorite, you know, candidate and QSMP creator during this arc, from a viewer standpoint, make sure this is all done in a very lighthearted manner, as this project is meant to provide entertainment only.

[no longer reading from the letter] And that being said, I really hope you guys enjoy this next arc of QSMP, this is gonna be so fucking exciting.

[c4rb0n4t3d-d34th]

Heyhi!

Just a warning, im writting a book and im about to post a snippet of it! It has darker themes such as:

- parental abuse/neglect

- bullying

- alcoholism

-schooling

-mental health struggles

-polyamory (eventually)

- self harm and suicide (eventually)

-unconventional relationship(eventually)

-romantic and sexual themes(eventually)

If any of that is not your jam or you aren’t in the mind to hear about it please dont read further! Get a drink and snack and take care of yourself!!

That being said. Heres a snippet of my work in progress book “our toy.” Enjoy.

•

•

Bex’s pov:

I wake up, drained. I hear my mother screaming and glass breaking, she must be drunk already. “What time is it?” I groan and check my phone. 5:30am, I read the clock again making sure I was right before getting up and getting ready. I transfer schools today. Leaving glencreek and going to norburrow is going to be rough. Not that I have friends at my old school, its just.. familiar you know? I know what to expect everyday when I walk in those doors. Norburrow I have no idea what to expect. Pushing past my nerves I slip on black jeans and a black and white striped hoodie. I slip on my converse and grab my backpack. Taking a deep breath I open my bedroom door and walk into the living room. Empty beer bottles scatter the floor, mostly broken. My mother is nowhere to be found which means she’s probably passed out in her room. I quickly and quietly step out of the house and head to the bus station, hoping not to wake her. Once there I sigh a breath of relief and try to shake off my anxiety. The bus comes not long after my arrival and I step on, seeing its mostly empty I sit down at a random vacant seat. Scrolling through my phone I check my schedule over and over, nodding I slip my phone back into my pocket and stare out of the window, eventually zoning out.

I feel the bus come to a halt and I look up, snapped out of my thoughts. Were here. I take a deep breath and grab my bag before exiting the bus. The concrete stairs leading up to the door were scattered with students talking amongst each other. I ascend the staircase and push past the doors, the clock in the hall tells me I still have 30 minutes to talk to the office and get to class. “I can do this” I tell myself internally. Not daring to mutter a word externally. I find the office and knock on the door before gliding up to the front desk. “How may I help you?” A bigger blonde woman with way too thin drawn on eyebrows asks me “i'm the new student, bexley warner?” I say, voice shaky. “Ah, yes! Bexley, here it is!” She nods while clicking around on her desktop. “Do you have your schedule? Or do you need it printed out?” She asks quickly after. “Can you print it?” I mutter, not wanting to cause any inconvenience. “Of course! One moment.” She says before getting up and walking to the printer not far behind her desk. She grabs a paper as the printer spits it out. Checking over it before handing it to me I nod and mutter “thanks.” Before waving and quickly walking out.

First period is history, second floor, room 2304. Sounds easy enough.. I hope. I find the staircase and follow it up to the second floor. Seeing the room number that matches the one on my schedule I walk in, still a few minutes early. I see the teacher at his desk and he greets me “good morning! You must be the new student, bailey?” He asks with a hand stuck out for a handshake, I weakly shake his hand back “bexley.. but yes” I say, voice shaky and barely above a whisper. He nods and notes it mentally before releasing my hand and letting me sit down. I sit down near the back of the class, just after the middle rows but not far enough back that im in some bully kids seat. I just hope no one already sits here..

Moments later students start to flow in the classroom each taking their seats and chatting to their friends. No one tells me to move, or that i'm in their seat so far, so I sigh softly and zone out, drawing in a small sketchbook. “Um. Who are you? And why are you in my seat?” A feminine voice startles me out of my trance and I freeze. I spoke too soon. I look up and meet eyes with pure ice. Her light blue eyes are cold and fierce. Her blonde hair in a tight bouncy ponytail, the white and tan cardigan covering most of her baby pink skirt. “Hello?? Earth to fuckface??” She blurts out. I stand up, shaking harshly “i-i'm sorry I didn't know anyone sat here.. im sorry.” I mumble out, voice shaking just as much as my hands. “ yeah well I do. Get out, now my seat probably has fucking aids thanks to you.” Her words cut like blades on my skin. This school wasnt going to be any better them the last. Great. I walk over to an empty desk at the back, on the opposite side as the ice queen’s desk. I quickly sit down and take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I see the girl talking with some guys, they look athletic. Maybe football? I dont know but they look mean. They are flirting back to her and she giggles. I look at the teacher and listen to his lecture as I jot down a few notes. Eventually the bell rings and I see everyone get up and file out of the classroom.

I check my schedule again for the next class. Great. Math. Luckily its on the second floor so I dont have to go far. I read the room number as I grab my bag, 2028. Ok, I can do this. I head out and quickly find my class. The teacher greets me and her sickly sweet perfume burns my nose. I sit down in an empty seat and pray no one sits here. The last of the students file in and take the surrounding seats. I hear a deep raspy yet feminine voice beside me “yo loser, you new??” I turn and meet eyes with her, shes tan, her dark brown eyes and chestnut hair pair well with her skin tone. She looks athletic too, shes really buff. My hands shake as I nod in response. She scans me, looking me up and down before smirking. “I can tell, the girls are going to love you.” What does she mean by that? What girls? Love me? No, no. I stare blankly at her and she doesnt explain. “Nice talking with you toy, but I gotta run.” She takes the seat a couple rows behind me and I exhale a breath I didnt know I was holding.

“Ignore her, thats alessia. Shes a bitch but shes strong and can fight so no one dares say anything to her.” A voice speaks lowly beside me. I turn and see ashy blue hair and dark blue eyes peering back at me. The boy smiles “im elias by the way, but you can call me eli.” He states. “Bexley, but call me bex” I reply softly. “He nods and sits up in his chair, “nice to meet you bex, I dont really talk or hang out with anyone so you want to eat lunch with me after class?” I smile faintly at his question and nod “id love that eli.” In mutual agreement we break the eye contact and look up at the teacher whos now pointing at numbers on the board. Following along with her I take notes. The bell rings as shes passing out homework. “Homework due next week!” She calls out as students leave the room.

I look up and eli is gathering his things, waiting for me. I grab my bag and stand up to follow him to lunch. “Ready to go?” He asks. “Yeah, ready as ill ever be.” I state. We start walking and he looks down before asking “do you not like lunch?” I let out a soft laugh and shake my head “no but I don’t exactly pair well with crowds of people.” He nods and his eyes flash with a new idea “how about we sit in the library? Way less people and alot quieter.” I smile and nod. “lead the way.” I say. Following eli we make our way to the library, its quiet and peaceful. Barely anyone else here. He points at a table with no one at it “want to sit there?” He asks. I nod and follow him to the table, taking a seat next to him he pulls out a laptop from his bag. “What for?” I question. “Im recoding a website, wanna see?” I nod and he turns the screen towards me. Rows and rows if numbers letters and strange characters line the screen. “Wow that looks hard..” I Say, completely Confused at what im looking at. “It isnt once you get the hang of it!” He smiles and I return it, smiling back at him before pulling out my sketchbook and a pen and doodling away. “Whats that?” He asks and I look up at him before looking back at my page. “Nothing really, just doodling.” I shrug. He looks closer at the paper “no bex this is REALLY good” he enunciated the word ‘really’ as he talks “youre really talented bex are you joking? Can I see more of your work?” His question catching me by surprise, I nod and he flips through my sketchbook. Gawking at each page he stops at one of them and his eyes grow wide. “Can I.. take a picture of this one..?” He asks and I look at the page. Its a drawing of two random characters I drew a fee month ago, I notice they roughly resemble eli and I. “Yeah sure why not?” I say taking a sip of my water. “Thank you, I really like this one!” He beams. I smile at him, happy that he likes my work so much. A voice breaks our bubble “what are you two doing in here. You are supposed to be in the cafe, are you not?” A prestigious female voice asks harshly and I wince. Eli looks up and his eyes go wide “s-sorry president! We will be going now.” He starts packing his bags and looks at me with a “hurry! Pack!” Look, I quickly pack up and follow him as he scurries out of the library. “President? Whos that? What just happened?” I ask looking back at the long black hair of the girl we’d just been busted by moments ago. “Thats the student council president, vanessa. If you get on her bad side she can expel you herself!” He says still clearly shaken up. I nod as we walk to the cafeteria, eventually deciding to sit outside. Warm breeze of spring keeping us st the perfect comfortable temperature. The silence between us was content but anxiety racked through us both and I could tell.

After awhile the bell rang and the next period was starting doon, I look at my schedule, art, thank fuck. Third floor, room 4702. I jump up and look at eli. “I have art, what class do you have?” He looks up at me from his spot on the bench and smiles “tech class, its down on the first floor. See you after school though?” I nod and wave him off. “See you!” I rush quickly to the stairs and scale the two flights the room at the end of the hallway. i walk into class and check in with teacher, she was super sweet and smelled faintly of jasmine and lemongrass. I sit down at one of the large table, each table having four chairs I get my sketchbook out and keep working on the drawing I started at lunch. As the kids piled in class each taking seats with each other at neighboring tables three familiar voices came through the door, all in a conversation together. Every single one of the girls that were mean today were here. All at once. I hold my breath when I feel their eyes burning holes in my side. “What are the odds.” Alessia chuckles “this was the toy I mentioned earlier girls.” She flips a chair so the back rest is infront of her, sitting down in it across from me. The other two sit next to her amd next to me. “Are you that freak who sat in my seat this morning?” The blonde retorts. “Youre the student from the library.” Vanessa laughs coldly. “So you all met our plaything?” Alessia asks the girls. “Not really, I never asked his name. He sat in my chair! He was trying to give me aids or something!!” The blonde huffs out “relax chloe. He definitely doesnt get any kind of action.” Vanessa throws out. So the blonde girl is chloe.. the president is vanessa.. and the athlete is alessia? Noted.. vanessa continues “tell us your name student.” I tremble and look down at the table “bexley.. or just bex..” I hold my breath as my eyes start to water. Dont cry. Not here. “Bexley? Isnt that a girls name??” Chloe asks while giggling. “Y-yeah I guess so..” I agree, not wanting to start anything.

The class starts and the girls fall silent as does the rest of the class. However, chloes eyes have yet to leave her phone screen. The teacher talks about an assignment and I listen eagerly. I dont show that i'm eager, but it laces my body sending waves of excitement through each limb. The teacher passes out white papers and everyone starts getting to work. I get my paper and before I can put my pencil down my paper is snatched “h-hey!” I say and gasp suddenly, realizing I shouldn’t have said anything. “What, have a problem?” Alessia asks with an arched brow. I shake my head and look down at the desk. How am I going to work in this class?? Im screwed. I want to go home. And that says alot because I hate home. The rest of the class the girls make comments here and there about my looks or lack of worth. I sit there silently, taking each insult. “Say something fuckface!” A paper ball hits my face as chloe snorts and giggles in her seat. “Nice aim clo.” Alessia snickers. “While I applaud you on your skills clo, it was still cliché.” Vanessa says as she rolls her eyes. “Nessa youre way to serious, cliché or not it was totally funny!” Chloe pouts. Just one more class and ill go home. I just have to get through one more class. The chatter amongst the girls is deafening, eventually I was able to tune it out and zone out. Im slapped back into reality, literally. A sharp pain floods my cheek and I jump and look up “are you fucking ignoring me right now bitch??” Alessia questions. “N-no! S-sorry!” Fuck that hurt. First day and im already getting hit. Great. “Tell me where youre going after this class, freak” she demands as she slams her hand on the table I jump and hand her my schedule shakily.

She scans over it and shows it to the other girls “you have science next. When the last bell rings ill be outside the class. Dont think about running early.” Alessia states with no room to argue, not that I would argue with her. The other girls nod and chime in “we will join you ale!” I feel dizzy and nauseated, I hate this fucking school already. The bell rings and everyone leaves for the last class, I stay behind a second to get a new paper to finish the assignment before scurrying to my last class. “Lets get this over with.” I say in my head.

Walking into class and repeating the process all over again, see the teacher, sit down, hope no one sits here, zone out. The class goes by rather fast, the clock ticking down to my inescapable demise. I force myself to take a deep breath. I can do this. Ill do whatever they want and go home. Itll be quick. The bell rings and with trembling hands I pack up and step out of the door to see the three girls I dreaded seeing. “Good listening. You know whats best for you bitch boy.” Alessia spits out and I stay silent “youre coming with us.” She states as she grabs my arm dragging me beside her “o-ok” I croak accepting my fate. Vanessa grabs my other arm and im dragged to a private classroom by the girls while chloe follows behind us closely, each step making her blonde hair bounce. The shuts and locks the door once everyones inside and I dont make a sound or try to run. I try to keep my composure, not wanting to cry infront of my new tormentors. “W-“ I take a deep breath “why am I here?” I ask my voice shaking and weak. “As you may know, im the student council president. I have the authority to kick you out of the school entirely if you disobey any order given to you.” I gulp as vanessa speaks “before you got to this school I saw your student profile. I was aware of your arrival and knew youd be different then other transfers. That being said when alessia told us about you being in one of her classes I knew it was fate. You will listen to any and every command any of us make, that is, if you want to stay at the school.” She finishes her speech and im left terrified, I cant go back to that school. Everyone hated me there, I was pushed and shoved, put into trashcans, you name it. I take a deep breath and nod “o-ok. Ill do it.” I say, voice broken and barely above a whisper. “Good. Itll be easier for you that way. Hand over your phone.” Alessia states. I scramble to pull my phone out of my pocket before handing it to her. “Password?” She asks, voice filled with annoyance. “080117” I squeak out. She unlocks my phone and I tremble. What is she looking for? What is she going to do? I see her typing and passing my phone around to the other girls, watching them type as well. They hand back my phone and I slip it into my pocket weakly “we put our numbers in there so we can text you at anytime if we need something done.” Chloe chimes out “oh! And we all have your location so you cant hide from us!” She continued. I nod, not fighting against it. “I send a message to your mother letting her know youll be moving to the dorms.” Vanessa says. I freeze, “w-what?” I ask with a broken tone. “You heard me. Tonight you will pack your bags and move into the dorm house. Alessia, chloe, and I will be there to pick you up at 10pm tonight. Be ready.” She finished and turns to walk out, the others following. I have no choice, im fucked. Im so fucked. left in the empty classroom with nothing but my thoughts I grab my bag and rush to the bus station. Checking my phone its already 5:30, the next bus is at 6. I take deep breaths, calming my nerves. Mother wont care, she will be too inebriated to even take notice. That means I have no one to stop this and only 4 hours to pack.

The bus ride was quiet and empty, I get off at my stop and walk home quickly. My phone chimes and I pull it out of my pocket.

V: 4 hours. Pack quickly.

B: I just got home, starting to pack now

V: dont be late.

I sigh and walk into the house, b-lining it to my room and tossing my bag and phone on the bed. I pull out my old suitcase and get to work. Pulling out all my clothes and putting them neatly in my suitcase. I grab my blanket and stuffed dog and place them in there too. My stuffed dog is my comfort item, I named him milo and I sleep with him nightly. Moving on I pack what I can and check the time 8:30. Fuck I need to hurry. Grabbing my art supplies I slip them in my backpack along with my medications and headphones. I sigh and finish putting my stuff where I can before hearing another chime of my phone. I grab it and see messages from alessia this time.

A: dont eat. I made dinner and you will be eating it.

B: ok, I wont eat.

A: we will be there in 30 minutes.

B: im ready.

I gulp and grab my phone charger, putting it in my bag as my stomach growls. Was this going to be my last meal? Were they going to poison me? I shake off my fears and hope they are wrong. I grab my bags and put them by the front door. I pick up the shattered glass and deer bottles from my mother and go to find her, knocking on her door softly I hear her grunt. I open the door and speak softly “im about to leave for the dorms now, just wanted to let you know.” She groans “ok whatever just go.” I nod and close the door before a loud bang and the sound of shattering glass makes me jump and wince. I quickly check the time before heading outside. 9:45. im on time. I grab my bags and walk to the bus stop, once there I pull out my phone. Chloe messaged me.

C: we r on the way! Better not b late! X

B: im at the bus stop, im packed.

C: *chloe liked the message*

I exhale a breath I didnt know I was holding. Im walking into my death. Her texting mannerisms are sweet but they are laced with venom. I pass the time thinking of a better life, zoning out like I always do. What would life be like with a loving family? Would I be happier? Having a group of friends, laughing and making memories. What does it feel like to enjoy going to school, to enter the doors and not get bullied? How much better would life be if I wasnt so.. me?

I hear a car pull up and I snap out of my thoughts. The backseat passenger window rolls down. “Put your shit in the trunk!” Chloe yells. I walk to the back of the expensive looking car and load my bags in the back before shutting it and getting in the backseat drivers side. All three girl were in the car, vanessa driving, alessia in the front passenger seat and chloe in the back with me. My nerves surge through my body, my body shaking intensely. The car drives off with me inside, sealing my now not so distant future. My stomach growls again and I pray no one hears it. The car ride was around 20 minutes and when it was finally over the car pulls to a stop in a small gravel parking infront of a Victorian looking building, it looks like one house, not a school dormitory. I suppose thats why vanessa said dorm house and not dormitory? I dont have time to get lost in thought though. The girls exit the car and I follow, grabbing my bags before I joining them. They open the door and the house is gorgeous yet terrifying. Everything about it looks like a home. Somewhere a family should live. “The bedrooms are upstairs, your room is the last on down the hall.” Vanessa says and I nod. Walking up the wooden staircase I follow the long hallway, doors line the way to the door at the very end. I open the door and it creaks as it moves. Stepping into my new room theres a bed, a nightstand, a desk, and a closet. I sigh, maybe this wont be so bad afterall. Aside from the tormentors now living under the same roof as I. Setting my backpack on my bed I pull out my phone charger plugging it into the wall and connecting my phone. I unpack most of my suitcase and all of my backpack. “Dinners made. Get down here.” I hear alessia shout. “C-Coming!” I rush down to meet the girls. They sit around a large wooden dining table, I sit down in an empty seat and they pass around a bowl of noodles, carbonara? I take a helping of it, putting it on my plate when the bowl gets passed to me. Next the garlic bread gets passed around and I set one on my plate. Eventually a bowl of assorted vegetables is passed too. Spooning some onto my plate I exhale. “I do not want vegetables!” Chloe shoots out. “Eat some chloe. Youre short enough as is.” Alessia retorts as vanessa snorts, trying to hide her laugh. I stay silent, not wanting my presence to become the attention. I eat my food once I see one of the other girls start eating. So far so..good? Nothing seems to be poisoned, or at least not yet. And im not being attacked yet. I continue eating, still confused about what my life is turning out to be. I finish my food along with alessia and vanessa, chloe still poking around at her vegetables. “Take the dishes to the kitchen and wash them. Spotless.” Vanessa says, looking at me. I nod and collect all the dishes taking them to the sink and start to wash them. In the other room I hear alessia speaking “chloe eat the damn vegetables!” Chloe lets out a long whine and pouts “I dont want to!” I hold in a laugh and finish cleaning. 30 minutes later chloe comes in with an empty plate huffing like a child she slides it in the sink. I stay quiet as she stomps off like a toddler, quickly cleaning her dishes and putting all of them away. I wipe down the counters and turn to meet eyes with alessia. I never noticed just how tall she was. She looks about 6ft, towering over me. Im pretty tall, I think. Im 5’9 and pretty lanky. “If youre done you can head to your room for the night.” She states and I nod before walking iut of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room.

Exhausted from the day I plop down on my bed and let myself sink into it.

[gwenphobic]

i just read your gwen x catwoman reader post and i am having a meltdown in my room. please, i need more. it was just so cute to see gwen worrying about the reader, and even cuter to see her falling hard for the reader. we all need more of that

— SO SUDDEN AND NEW

— gwen stacy x black cat!reader

a/n, posting this felt like doing the walk of shame 😞… i haven’t posted in so long. no warnings methinks besides the fact that this is extremely short.

GWEN doesn’t know what’s happening to her. She can’t think properly when she’s around you, and her stomach always hurts. Not in the way where she thinks she’s about to puke, but in the way that she thinks everything feels like way too much.

IT doesn’t help that she’s picked up the new habit of smiling like a complete loser whenever you talk to her or make some really shitty quip. It’s like— She doesn’t even know what it’s like but it makes her feel like a complete dork.

IS this the most appropriate thing to be thinking about while she resting on the wall in an alley way while licking her wounds until the next unfortunate fight? Probably not, but she’s doing it anyway.

“HEY itsy bitsy,” a voice greets out of nowhere. Gwen doesn’t jump because she had sensed it, she jumps because she sees who it is. You stand before her in all your external glory. A smile falls to her lips, and she feels lucky for the mask. “You look rough,” you tell her.

“THANKS, I always appreciate it,” Gwen says dryly, but she really does. She appreciates all your stupid stupid jokes. She could listen to them forever over and over again. “Have anything planned tonight, kitty?” she asks.

YOU step closer to her. “If I did, I wouldn’t tell you, now would I?” you say. Gwen ignores the way her stomach internally explodes. “Guess not,” is all she can manage. You stop walking just before your and Gwen’s noses can touch.

“I really appreciated what you did for me a few weeks back,” you say, “taking me to that hospital. It was nice of you.” Gwen swallows, exhaling a shaky breath. “It’s my job,” she murmurs. You roll your eyes in reply.

“EITHER way, can I give you something to.. display my gratitude?” you ask. Gwen feels like she can hear her heart just pick up a beat and then another beat. At this rate, she feels like her heartbeat is at at least 300 beats per minute. The thumping sound rings loud in her ears. “I— I wouldn’t mind that,” she says.

YOU grin and take something out one of your pockets. “I know a big time hero like you would expect more,” you start as you take her hand, “but you’ll have you suck it up.” You slip a sleek black necklace into her hand.

GWEN stares at the necklace, swallowing. She asks, “Did you steal this?” You roll your eyes. “I bought it, matter a fact, but if you don’t want it—,” you say before Gwen cuts you off, “No, I want it.” She says it softer and more kind than she intended. She stares at you in your eyes while she says it. It makes your heart stutter for a second.

“YEAH, well, don’t get used to me being this nice,” you replies after a moment. Your cheeks feel hot. Gwen laughs quietly. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” she replies. What is this feeling?

YOU both just stare at each other for a moment before Gwen sighs. “Well, um, I’ve gotta get going,” she says. You nods quickly and add, “Me too. Crimes to make and places to rob.”

Gwen looks at you once more with soft eyes that are hidden beneath the mask. “Right,” she replies, “see you then, Cat.” You blow her a kiss. “Cya Spider.”

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Bawigrat

This one is kind of odd in general, but also notable in that it's a mythical creature that has not, to my knowledge, made its way into modern pop culture, but is kind of on one of the upper levels of the metaphorical iceberg for people interested in Medieval Bestiary Trivia just because of its... rather memorable ability. So let's get into it.

If you don't know what this is about, you can check out https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting for an explanation and previous installments.

The art you are about to see is all based on this entry here:

And if you want to get in on this, the current entry up for interpretation is here:

(bit of a long one there)

And without further ado, art for this week is below the cut:

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) has given us a sort of bovine with recognizably skunk-like features. They note that they focused on giving it an appropriate pose (more details in the linked post), which I think they pulled off well -- I would absolutely believe that this creature is about to fire dung at the viewer.

@sweetlyfez (link to post here) has a shaggier bovid here, with a notably calm expression. The peace of mind that comes from knowing you have a terrifying defense mechanism? Also we see that the emphasis here is on the fiery nature of their dung-based defense, as shown by the flames at the back there. (And thank you for including alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has done a bit of malicious compliance here. Yes, it has the head and size of a bull, the maned neck of a horse, sure, but otherwise this is clearly a giant bombardier beetle. You know what, that's fair. I like it. I also appreciate that it is, to quote Coolest-Capybara, "seen here incinerating some Stylized Plants." (And thank you for including alt text.)

@pomrania (link to post here) has a bull/horse hybrid thing for us, but notes particularly the distended belly, saying that they figure that whatever kind of internal chemistry is going on here might have externally-visible effects. They also question the "acres" thing, as it seems to imply "a creature which can basically do sniper-range attacks with its poop".

I am thrilled to tell you that it's even worse than that. The phrasing of this entry aside, an acre is technically not a measure of distance, but of area. And this isn't a modern contrivance, it's always been area: the definition of "acre" that our medieval writers would be familiar with is "the amount of land that a man can expect to plow in a single day with the help of oxen". Three acres is, according to a quick conversion on Google, 130,680 square feet / 12,140.6 square meters). So it's not a sniper-like attack, it's blanketing an entire city block (or most of one, depending on your city) in burning fumes & poop.

Implications for the fertilizer industry are, I assume, still under investigation.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) apparently decided to roll with the "three acres" thing and has drawn their Bawigrat... um.. burninating the countryside. Which is very funny to me, as a person of a certain age who grew up on the Internet, but the rest of y'all will have to Google it. Reasons for domesticating the Bawigrat may expand from agricultural to military, though that does seem like a dangerous proposition. (And thank you for including alt text.)

@wendievergreen (link to post here) also decided to go with a bombardier beetle, as the animal with the most similar defense mechanism in real life. (This one is also giant; note the banana for scale.) They've made it more unambiguously insectoid, as the "horns" are clearly antennae and the "mane" is a sort of ridged plate. I really like the stylization here and the inclusion of the alchemical symbol. For more information, and a video that shows off the glittery ink used here, check the linked post. (Also thank you for including alt text.)

On to the Aberdeen Bestiary:

Yep, that beast is sure farting fire onto some knights. If you look for other medieval images of it, this is a pretty common way to show its defense mechanism. I think my favorite is this one:

(Bibliothèque Nationale de France, lat. 3630, folio 78r)

Tell me that doesn't look exactly like the face a creature with weaponized flatulence would make.

Anyway, this is the bonnacon.

As mentioned previously, this is a mythical beast that for obvious reasons failed to really catch on in modern pop culture, but remains a favorite in Bestiary Trivia -- any Internet listicle about obscure mythical creatures is almost certain to mention the bonnacon.

Beyond that, I really don't have much to add other than reiterating that I think it would be pretty funny to include attempts to domesticate the bonnacon in your fantasy worldbuilding.

[zarvasace]

Absolutely LOVED reading A Long Walk, and now I'm curious: what's turning back on after 'passing out' like for Four?

Hello! :) this was meant to just be an answer but it turned into a little fic... It isn't long! Less than 1k.

---

It's slow.

Four did not give the command to shut down as he usually does, so his programs treat this as an emergency and prioritize waking up Green first.

Green becomes conscious alone. He wakes up to detailed diagnostic reports that tell him exactly what's wrong—and it's... a lot more than he wishes it was. There's external damage, of course, some stress damage, some emergency-shifted mechanisms that will be a pain to sort out, and of course there's the battery situation. In the interest of efficiency (delaying the inevitable), Green chooses to delay start-up procedures while the battery charges to full.

When the start-up begins in earnest, the rest of Four joins Green, and he returns to normal function—mentally, at least. He opens his eyes to see his room aboard the Epona, then sits up and attempts to pull the charging cable from the back of his neck. His arms move, but his hands are immobile. He'd forgotten. He pulls them back around and stares at the bandages wrapped and tied carefully around each finger.

There's love in those knots. Even Four can tell.

...that doesn't make the nonfunction of his hands any less frustrating, though.

"I didn't want them to get damaged any more."

Four looks up sharply to see Wind, whose presence he somehow hadn't registered until now. Wind sits in Four's desk chair, the one that swings out from the wall, and he looks a little sheepish, fiddling with a screwdriver in his fingers.

"Thanks," Four says, his voice coming out lower than he meant it to. He turns his focus to his hands again. Both repair estimates are high in time, power, and materials. He sighs. "Sorry to make you carry me the whole way back."

"You carried me," Wind replies. "And you're not exactly heavy. Are you able to fix your hands?"

"It will take me a while. But yes. I'm just useless until then."

Wind smiles, one side higher than the other. "Nah, I don't think you are. Oh! Wild asked me to let him know when you woke up. I think he has a question." He turns to tap at a screen on the wall.

Four blinks, and remembers Wild's hint that he knew an engineer who might be able to help. And then he remembers that Warriors is going to be furious at him. He makes a face.

The screen that lights up when Wild answers Wind's call is uncannily similar to the view Four had seen in his head... Probably because they're still using the same camera. Wild says hello, and the others on the bridge look over. Wind waves back and sits on the chair again.

Four notices a distinct lack of Hyrule, Legend, and Twilight. He hopes they're resting.

Time doesn't get up, but does nod over to the camera. "Good to see you up."

"You're okay!" Sky says, getting up from his seat to look over Wild's shoulder.

"Of course I am," Four replies. "I didn't damage anything integral... or, well, integral to core function."

Warriors comes to stand on Wild's other side. "I am also glad to see that you're just fine. We do need to talk, though."

Four winces. "I know."

"For now, though, do you have an estimate for when you might be able to return to normal duties?"

"Wars," Sky says as if about to scold him.

"Three days," Four interrupts. "Minimum. Um... plugged in." He holds up his hands to show them Wind's careful bandaging. "The biggest obstacle is fixing this damage. After that, I'll be pretty much fine."

"Take the time you need," Time says, looking over. "Please."

Four turns his head away from Wind, who's giving him pleading eyes to emphasize Time's message. "I will."

"Good. Sky?"

"Yes, sir!" Sky rushes back to his pilot's seat and takes the controls back into his hands.

"Okay," Wild starts, working on something else but keeping the connection open. "So about that engineer I know..."

[shatterthefragments]

hi! 💜 i'm intrigued by the Nazareth trans allegory comic [sleep token] from your wip list, if you'd like to share some thoughts about it. have a lovely day! 🌻

🫂💖💖💖💖💖 Ok ok SO!!! Nazareth Trans Allegory comic!!!

RAMBLING ON AHEAD!!!!!!!!

There’s. This is what was in my notes app so far so this is the entirety of the wip basically bc I hadn’t externalized this until I actually started to write an answer for this!!! 🫂

(Brought to you by me listening to Nazareth on repeat last week and a bit into this one so far it is number 1 on my on repeat atm and questioning if I really *have to* put off/forget about gender affirming care Despite The Horrors (bloodwork and surgery) after all I was able to get tattooed and it didn’t even put me in a dissociative tailspin.. if I get to a place I can Get Out of this house (with all my stuff))

^this is presumably from May when I started writing this out. But as of September 11 2024, Nazareth is still number 5 on my on repeat playlist as I mull this over in my head like a rotisserie chicken.

Um. I guess cw for transphobia

And also brought to you by me starting to type:

This is probably nothing but “let’s fuck her up” referring to the girl that

(They all think you are)

And then Promptly abandoning it to go NAZARETH TRANS ALLEGORY.

While I do question my ability to pull it off I am throwing myself off the cliff of “I must make perfect art” and diving into the waters of “if it brings joy or catharsis it is ALL PERFECT” and it’s better to try and to learn as I go than to worry and not create anything at all.

This would be. A short comic. Not like. Not like a book comic or anything.

Will absolutely feature calligraphy bc I’m a sucker and love it 😘(also I’m out of practice and have to reference the alphabets way more than I used to so I want to practice also anything that uses that much black gets assigned calligraphy in my head 😘)

Also unsure of how closely it follows what I’m rambling about here and what I’m actually capable of depicting but HERE WE GO (not sure how coherent I just type things)

But primarily it follows the song and its lyrics and the emotions (?)

TWINKLIEST BITS ARE BEING EQUATED TO FINDING YOUR CHOSEN FAMILY OKAY!!!!!!

And ALSO the jubilation in BECOMING in changing your life to be how you are and finding the joy in living again

So The Wrath. In this. I haven’t fully decided how many interpretations I’m giving it. But it is definitely representing transphobia, particularly from birth families and the people we’re close with.

I’ll see you when the wrath comes.

I’ll see you when you come running to your chosen family (the “I” here) being welcomed in and safe from the wrath touching you.

“Knocking on your bedroom door with money” I mean fuck. Transition related stuff is so expensive 😭 even though I have universal healthcare it’s. Expensive. Even just the binders I have from when I bound on a regular basis were pretty expensive. Makeup to do masculinizing makeup would be expensive (I don’t have or wear makeup (my obsession with dark red lipstick and other fun colours notwithstanding) let alone have the skill currently to do that)

“Building you a kingdom” finally being the king of your own world rather than a subject subjected to so many unspoken rules that just bind you to unhappiness and obligation is what comes to mind at first but honestly I’m not entirely sure what to do for the next line

“Dripping from the open mouth, I’ll show you / what you look like, from the inside” like. I have vague images floating around in my head that I’m not sure how to articulate atm.

Hollow point. You know. Like the syringe used to draw up testosterone from the vial. To a naked body/booty (look. I know that the thigh is just fine as an injection site but I did watch love lies bleeding thanks to @ongreenergrasses so it is in the mind) (yes,, even still…)

Now on one hand. The pronouns are she/her used in the lyrics.

But ALSO could be interpreted as the rest of everyone seeing him/them as her still and refusing to acknowledge their/his identity (undecided on whether anyone else knows in this comic or even how I’d storyboard that)

Also. I won’t be missing you in mirror

They won’t be missing you the pitchfork crowd

So I would be going with the transmasc version bc it’s more related to me and my experiences and how I see things

(Aside from like the one week back in high school where after so long as a boy I was a girl and I was fully like freaking out and wondering how I’d transition before like. It occurred to me. Anyway that didn’t last long and was the quickest gender switch I’ve experienced (I generally say if I am indeed gender fluid then the fluid is a slow moving lava consuming all in its path) and I hovered (and still kinda continue to hover) somewhere in the realm of nonbinary transmasc demiboy or something I’m not thinking too hard about the labels I just want to be comfortable and as happy as possible)

BUT ALSO 👀

Transfem Nazareth

Fuck her up - fuck up the woman you’re expected to be by everyone else.

Hollow point… unfortunately I can’t help but think of the disproportionate rates of violence against trans women and particularly trans women of colour.

[neverwalka1one]

Magnus 24 - where we start at Baby (demonic).

Gwen? Gwen, did Alice put you up to this? Gwen? Please don't go back to hanging around the externals Gwen you're going to get et.

Lena is not buying this change of heart. She's gonna feed you to the Bonzo, you do know that, right? You're definitely getting eaten.

The health visitor isn't concerned about the mom's lack of memory about the pregnancy and delivery, huh? Not at all? Shouldn't be any record of this bit either? Huh. That's not sus at all.

Also nothing good has ever come of a nanny cam plz stop.

'Big Black Orbs' is something that belongs in a tweenager's first attempt at fanfic, not from a description of a baby, no ma'am that's not cute.

Neither is a 'long curly tongue' ma'am have you forgotten what human looks like? MA'AM?

Oh that nice girl Celia is being helpful, is she? IS SHE NOW?

Hey babe why are your baby's teeth sharp? How is this in any way normal to you?

Health inspector is deeply sus, is it Needles? Is NEEDLES your health inspector?

Um. I don't have a kid, but I'm pretty sure at no point should blood be involved in feeding, just throwing it out there.

Oh goody, baby background noises, they're absolutely unholy, thanks, I hate it.

No wait, I hate the squish noises more, please stop with the squish noises.

I TAKE IT BACK THE CRUNCH NOISES ARE THE WORST

Alice, raising objections right in front of the salad computers? Getting sloppy there. Not that I'm complaining about you guys staying out of the break room this week, that's fine.

Sam, hun, the tape recorders bite, they can definitely be murderous.

Hey, Celia supporting Alice, for the... win? IDK. Also seems sus, given she's the one egging Sam on.

Sam, honey, if you're not prepared to deal with scary murderous creatures, maybe, IDK, stop going to the Scary Murderous Creature Places? On purpose? For real?

Basira as a teacher. Uh-huh. That's a move.

They named their fake kid Humphrey. Oh god.

'I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more.' Says the gal who used logic to escape a near-apocalypse. Sounds right.

God these two are the worst interviewers, the Ceaseless Watcher wants nothing to do with them.

[nnight-dances]

HOW YOU FALL FOR SEVETEEN (FT. MY FAVORITES LINE)

the title is self-explanatory but also a complete lie, i love all the members so much but thanks to it being like my first month as a seventeen enjoyer, i only so much about so many members. this is purely self-indulgent so feel free to let me know how insane i sound and also, if i messed up their personalities.

as mentioned before, jeonghan is my favorite and thus, you can see how i’m being particularly mean to him. hate is my love language <3 also, someone please teach me how to write scoups because i love the man so much (no idc if he’s like a decade older than me) but could not bring myself to write anything for him. thanks, friends and foes!

jeonghan

…unrequited love probably? LMAO sorry but he’s my bias and i am convinced his standards are really, really high. like you’d have to discover and name a new continent after him before he looks your way.

okay, i’ll stop being mean and start being more delusional: a strangers to lovers maybe? because i feel like he’d be fascinated by you at first so he’d get to know you slowly. you’re wary of him when he tries to get closer to you,, because like… why is this sly devil of a man throwing you eye smiles left and right?

anyways, the moment you let your guard down around him, he’d invade every waking thought you have until you don’t have a choice but to rant to him… about him. yes, he’d watch with a smug smile on his face, as if he’d planned every second of this, and patiently wait for you to finish before leaning in and kissing you because apparently, his feelings were “obvious enough” (his words when you shriek away from him)

mingyu

best friends to lovers, for sure (and i imagine it’d be something like this)

it’s because even though he’s extroverted, i just feel like he’s still pretty reserved and so i think it’d take a long time of knowing him to be intimate enough to be a lover?

he wouldn’t have being anything more than friends for a long time because he enjoys the space of a friendship and he thinks of it as a test for how well the two of you can work out. mans taking this way too seriously but it pays off when one day he gets to call himself your boyfriend.

be careful though, i feel like timing matters a lot with him, and if you get it wrong…

hoshi

ummm this one is hard because the possibilities with hoshi are so endless?? anything could works?? he’s just so loveable that any way you meet him would be so precious

but since he’s introverted, i feel like with him it’d take a long to move on from one phase to another just because both of you are unwilling to budge. like it’s a waiting game with you guys where both of you are constantly dropping hints and neither is picking anything up.

so i’m thinking a fake dating situation for some external pressure that slowly reveals how comfortable pretending to date hoshi seems… maybe because you’ve always been a little more than friends….?

dk

oh god, another loveable one, someone save me… um but in full seriousness, he’s so sweet i can’t imagine anything that wouldn’t work with him

but i’m leaning toward idiots to lovers with a LOT OF mutual pining because neither of you can tell if the other is flirting or just that nice to everyone (spoiler: you both suck at flirting so the fact that the possibility is even being discussed in the slightest… yeah, you’re down bad for each other)

idk he’d be so easy to fall for that even if you’re not generally too good-natured, it’d take everything to not go the extra mile for dk

the8

academic rivals to lovers is soooooo enticing with this one,, because you’d have to match him point to point for his pretentious but wise tendencies to keep up in a romantic relationship

and like, tell me if i’m wrong, but it’d be clear from the beginning that the two of you transcended the boundaries of friends because you’d dwell on the others’ actions for wayy too long for it be friendly banter or even genuinely malicious scheming

just takes you a frustratingly long time to smooth out the feelings because you know you want to maintain a slightly hostile tone when it comes to him or your life would lose all meaning and stimulation

wonwoo

listen … i’m considering one-sided love to lovers? because how could you not fall for wonwoo when you first get to know him? he’s just weirdly good at everything… and so calm

but when you let him know your feelings, i think he’d be so awkward about rejecting you (maybe because doesn’t truly want to) and you’d catch on pretty quick

fast forward to a few months and you’re still friends with him because well… he’s way too captivating for you to leave. so you’ve been pining from the sidelines for a while until wonwoo wakes up one day with the sudden awakening that he enjoys your company as something more than friendship

yeah, took him long enough, but he’s so sweet when he confesses that your heart breaks a little. he apologizes to the verge of tears for making you wait? and thanks you for not abandoning him? and then shyly admits that those things just made him fall for you more.

joshua

you don’t understand. there is nothing but an enemies to lovers in store with this one because he looks so normal that you unsuspectingly try to befriend him, only to be shocked by his attitude. he’s a little bitch. and for what.

for one, he’s so hard to understand, only showing the slightest surface of his personality and when he does,,, well, your head’s suddenly throbbing because what the fuck. someone restrain this man.

no but you’re always ready to fight him especially because he makes it his life mission to follow you around and one thing leads to another until he’s … um in love.

you promise you have an out of body experience when he tells you he’s in love with you, showing unprecedented seriousness, and his sincerity alone would’ve been enough to woo you