#Ultimate Speech Therapist

[paraphwrites]

@carpediemma made a poll post about which characters would be who in an alice in wonderland au and none of the one's winning are the ones i want so i will now be justifying my thesis

alice - niko. above all else, alice must be curious and kind. she is also afraid, a lot, because she's in a wild new world - very similar of how niko is scared and in a new world (both ghost/supernatural, america, and a world without her father)

white rabbit - edwin. polite yet preoccupied, punctual yet anxious, obsessive yet unpredictable, always dressed smart... the similarities go on. and while i think some of their actions might not align entirely, i think there is a case to be made for edwin shewing someone along, insisting it must be done his own way

mad hatter - charles. playful, defiant to social norms, bit of an eccentric dress style! though charles is a bit less over the top, i feel that in the right environment, he could go totally mad. hatter has a lot of fun but there is this hint of despair to him which to me, entirely emulates charles

the dormouse - jenny. tired, confused, and underpaid, next question

the march hare - maxine. unpredictable, bizarre, reckless, excitable. not a huge character so not too much to go from but i see some loose similarities in the erratic nature - it's not that they're evil, it's that they're so invested in existence that they might stab you

please do not think of the implications of shipping the dormouse and the march hair i will not be held responsible for that

tweedledee and tweedledum - litty and kingham. petty?? childish?? looks similar??? guys come ON there is no more iconic duo in dbda! they're not very kind, they're not anti violence, they love attention- am i talking about the tweedles, or litty and kingham? you literally can't tell.

the caterpillar - tragic mick. appears when alice is uncertain and needs help, prompts her to reflect on her own identity. not particularly nice but is very helpful and kind, in his own way. calm, almost cryptic, slow manner of speech.

cheshire cat - the cat king. im not gonna explain this one

ok guys bare with me for the next two. they're kinda controversial. i could see them flipped and i did flip them many times but this is what i decided on

the duchess - esther. the duchess is abusive to her child (monty), but can be overly affectionate, as well. duchess is hella comedic in a dark way, she's got a fucked up relationship with power (duchess is a slave to the Queen, esther is a slave to the Snake), she's absurdly contradictory (like esther and her contradiction of wronging girls using lilith's gift)

the queen of hearts - the night nurse. the queen cannot see a way of life other than executions. i know she SEEMS hella emotional, but legit, i think it's more this desperate desire for feelings and sensations because she is so stuck in a loop of being listened to. the night nurse is similarly stuck in this loop of bureaucracy. neither are happy and neither have any true meaning to their lives. they both also seem to lack a nuance to empathy (nurse thinking ends justify the means so no need to feel guilty about the means, almost viewing finding the boys as a game in order to feel SOMETHING). neither would not survive a day in therapy

the king of hearts - kashi. foil to the queen of hearts, very minor character. gentle, soft spoken, trying his best, exists more in his own universe than anywhere else. the key difference is if they went to therapy, kashi's therapist would end up getting therapied, and king would just break down sobbing

the knave of hearts - monty. while if esther was the queen, maybe this would be more apt, but this is my analysis so i'll do what i want. the knave is a victim of absurd injustice, is somewhat sympathetic but ultimately a perpetuater of this same system. monty does the same thing with esther & her abuse. he is also young and handsome which, we've all seen joshua colley, i don't need to explain

the talking rose - crystal (with/pre-david.) haughty, mean, cruel, flirtatious. she's not a villain but she's definitely not on your side. she's critical, both of your looks, personality, and general vibe. but she's also just one of the many flowers, kind of how crystal was just one of the rich kids, not really doing all that much

in this version, i'd have when the flower's roots are freed be the same energy as the boy's getting rid of david. moment of self-transformation, free from curse. i will probably make a follow up post on how i'd do the plot, but i wanted to throw that bit on david out there.

[fan-a-tink]

Wille & his family

If you think about it, Young royals is a story of many journeys, but one of the most central ones has been Wille’s journal away from his family. 

He starts the series with his family deciding that he will change schools. He tells them he doesn’t want to but is ignored. When Erik dies he spends what feels like two days with his family, trying to grieve together, but his mother immediately tries to get him involved in his role as crown prince. After all the shit with the video been leaked, his mother makes Wille apologize for it (still think this is one of the most fucked up things to happen in this show) and forces him to make a statement denying (himself) that it was him in the video, thereby betraying Simon, hiding his queerness and ruining his relationship. But Wille does this because this is his family and he has trusted them his whole life, and he doesn’t dare to take the leap and rely on Simon whom he’s only known for a few weeks/months at this point. And then he is betrayed by his family, when he finds out that Kristina knew it was August and didn’t tell him and is also still actively protecting August by deciding not to prosecute him. This is a key moment, because Wille learns that the foundations of his life, his family, was ultimately completely fine with betraying him and forcing him to do the speech. 

In season 2, we see the fallout of that betrayal, the aftermath. With Wille shutting out his mother, refusing to talk with anyone from the court etc. They try to take him from the school, to regain some control over his actions, but he manages to make a fragile peace with his mother by agreeing to see a therapist. His mother seriously believes that she doesn’t need to address her son’s struggles personally in any way, as a mother, and instead just makes Wille someone else’s responsibility. This is another important step, because the queen’s plan backfires and Boris is actually helping Wille realise that he doesn’t have to be defined by his family’s rules and it is possible for him to go after what he wants. At the end of season 2, when he makes that speech, he takes his first definite step away from his family, signaling to them that he will try to live his life on his own terms. 

And in season 3, we learn that this lead to the Queen having a breakdown. I know she always says it’s all about Erik, but she was dealing with that before and the only thing that has changed is that Wille has started standing up for himself. Now throughout season 3 Wille and his family are in a tricky situation: Wille collaborates with the royal court for his work as a prince and for his and Simon's safety, but he is completely on his own in his family. He receives help and support from Farima, not his parents. The Queen’s illness puts pressure on him to be ready for the crown, and at the same time no one in his family wants to really speak about it and when he meets his mother she pretends that everything is fine. Then even his belief in Erik is shattered, and he has to question the only thing he really held on to with his family: his brother and the ideal he represented, the responsibility he felt to continue Erik's legacy. All of this leads to the confrontation in episode 5, where he rightfully calls out his family for never supporting him throughout any of it. He literally yells at his father „I am your only son now. Can you see me?“ and tells Kristina that she is doing a shit job of both being a mother and the Queen. And they prove him absolutely right by just refusing to engage with him, and just leaving the room because they can’t handle the situation. 

So at the point we’re at now, Wille is the furthest away from his family he has ever been. He starts out sitting in between them when he gives his first speech after the fight at the club in episode 1. And he has become completely isolated from all of them by the end of episode 5 of season 3. Does that mean he will go one step further and turn down the responsibility of being crown prince and abdicate? I don’t know. But his journey throughout three seasons has definitely been going in that direction. He becomes more and more estranged from his family and has realised more and more that he can’t rely on them for emotional support, or rely on them to even just consider him in the decisions they make that affect his life. A part of me wants him to just get away from them and make his own way in the world. But another part also wants Kristina and Ludvig to step up and become the parents that Wille deserves and needs. 

[mistyheartrbs]

vengeance would have been a perfect special if not for doc's death, and i think the reason for that is like. it changes vengeance from a fun sort of "optional" epilogue tv movie (that also doubles as a sizzle reel for andras to pitch a fifth season) to something that irrevocably changes the directions of the characters' lives. if this is the last entry in wynonna earp then doc is dead, wynonna has lost the love of her life, alice grows up without her father. it changes the beautiful ending of s4 - something that was so ruthlessly, defiantly hopeful when it was borne of a genre and a timeframe in which shock value and grimdark character death were the norm, when it was filmed in the middle of a devastating pandemic - into something much more cynical.

now, let me tell you about homestuck.

i love it when stories engage with their role as stories, and two projects that have done that (which also not so coincidentally had massive tumblr followings) are steven universe and, yes, homestuck -- specifically their followups, steven universe: future and the homestuck epilogues/homestuck^2: beyond canon.

steven universe future is a series that posits, "what happens when there's no one left to fight and you have to face yourself?" it's something that existed to tie up the loose ends left by steven universe's hasty cancellation/ending - and so it looks at an action hero's struggles with ptsd when he isn't saving the world anymore. it recontextualizes everything we thought was just another action scene, just another monster fight, just another thing he won with love and kindness and great, great injury to himself, and says, no, this hurt him, you cannot take on the world for yourself, you deserve a good life too. it's in conversation with steven universe's endless empathy and self-sacrifice and doesn't ridicule it but acknowledges that it's a philosophy that you can only hold for so long before you crack.

it's a lovely show that, while much darker than the original series, still ultimately ends on a hopeful note. of course steven isn't going to drive off into the sunset and never have any problems again. he's a person. he's going to drive away when it's already nighttime, and he's going to phone his therapist, and he's going to have good days and bad ones and he's never going to have some clean break from the things that still haunt him but he'll be okay.

the homestuck epilogues are bad, and they're mean-spirited, and they spit in the face of audiences who wanted happy endings for the characters. they're written to mimic ao3 fanfiction, and pretty openly mock the fandom and the people who got homestuck to this point in the first place.

creator andrew hussie thankfully seemed to realize that and changed course with homestuck^2: beyond canon, where they started making it a visual webcomic series again, and it started grappling more directly with homestuck as a story.

the first shot of homestuck^2 is of a spaceship with "theseus" scrawled onto the side. the title itself isn't "homestuck 2," it's homestuck squared. homestuck multiplied by itself. it's a writing team - people who started out as fans of homestuck and are now arbiters of it - with only minimal involvement from the original creator. who determines what is and isn't homestuck? is it the god-creator who wrote himself into the story, then wrote himself being killed off? is it this new writing team? is it you? after all, homestuck itself started with audience prompts. somebody who is not andrew hussie named john egbert. somebody who is not andrew hussie gets to decide how it continues, and if it ends, and why.

"misty, what the whiskey-shooting hell does any of this have to do with wynonna earp?"

what's weird about vengeance is that it doesn't do any of that. and in fact its very existence is antithetical to doc's death speech - it, like doc, is something that's dodged death. it's a followup to a show with one of the most satisfying series finales in recent memory. it's nothing so cynical as a cash grab (as i've seen people on the tag posit) - everyone involved genuinely loves this show. but it's basically a ninety-minute wynonna earp episode. aside from a few brief references and nods to the fans - waverly saying "welcome home, wynonna" - it's not interested in the three and a half years between the end of the show and this new special. it's not interested in whether it should exist, or how long people fought for it to exist. it does explore avenues that the series didn't have time to look into - wynonna's traumatic childhood, the lack of support from the adults in her life - but it's not looking at What "wynonna earp" is. it's not a story about Wynonna Earp (2016-2021), a SyFy Original Series that crafted lifelong friendships and conventions and stories and art and romances and careers and acted as a beacon of hope for thousands of young people during dark times. it's a story about wynonna earp, the character, who doesn't know if she can be a good mom to alice, who hurts the people she loves, who loves those people so, so fiercely she'll literally go to hell and back for them.

and i don't like that her ending is one full of grief. that doesn't feel fair to me.

but that's what season 5 is for, right?

[plum-pitt]

Holy shit. I just realized i’ve never even yapped about my headcanons for the rise guys. This is a criminal offense on my part! Must be rectified immediately!!

Disclaimer: Don’t think there’s a lot of hot takes here, but feel free to disagree and talk about your own interpretations if you’d like!! Headcanon is fun and i love discussing it. it’s all fictional and since the text doesn’t give us much concrete shit on these topics we’re all free to make our own, equally valid readings of it. :3

Leo- Transmasc He/Him, gay as fuck who here could’ve guessed, ADHD haver, definitely smokes weed. Fluent in spanish from watching telenovellas as a child. Wants to be a flirty whore/aff so fucking bad but whenever he sees someone he’s legitimately attracted to any charisma he might’ve had gets thrown out the window and into a woodchipper in favor of helpless stuttering. His portalling mishaps early in the series have led him to silly sidequests all over the world that he just,,,, doesn’t really talk about. This won’t come up until they’ll end up in some random ass place and find out just how well travelled and connected he actually is. He’s also got a job at Hueso’s for fun and extra cash to fund his addiction to pot and ordering stupid shit he doesn’t need online. He’s a server, wears rollerskates to “move faster” on the job, just ends up running into shit more often than not. Great with the kids tho, performs little sleight of hand magic tricks and tells jokes to make them happy, never had a fussy kid he couldn’t calm down in a snap. Calls himself Hueso’s nephew and nepotism hire, ignoring the fact that he’s actually a decently competent and well liked employee outside of the several skating related accidents. Shell was cracked badly in the invasion, when they sealed it up, he asked Mikey to paint the healed cracks gold, mimicking the japanese practice of Kintsugi.

Mikey- Definitely queer but not into labels ;3 He/Him is what he defaults to, but any pronouns work for them. Semi fluent in italian, don’t ask me why, just feels right, let chef boy speak italian dammit. One of those mfs on instagram who insists on posting pictures of the food he makes, except his actually looks good and not painfully mediocre so they get a pass. Has been tagging walls in hard to reach spots all over the city for years at this point, after Raph confronted her abt it, fearing that he’d get caught someday, he told him that he’d stop. Yeah, that was a lie he kept doing it, just sneakier now. Makes money off of art commissions, still broke as hell tho cuz he spends it all on bougie ass ingredients and art supplies. Post canon definitely delved more into mystics and spirituality, trains with draxum but also took up meditation in his free time. Fucks with weed and the occasional psychedelic when working on art, says it helps get the creative juices flowing. Considering asking donnie to forge some documents for him so he can attend college online and earn a psych degree. His speech patterns flip on a dime between vague, wise fortune cookie therapist man and typical gen-z slang so abruptly it gives anyone not already familiar with him total whiplash.

Donnie- NonBinary They/He Bisexual but i can’t decide if they’re the kind that can’t stop pulling or can’t pull to save his life. Fluent in several languages, ASL, French, Russian, Japanese. Actually one of their few acedemic endeavors that he doesn’t typically show off and gloat about, makes it all the scarier when his siblings hear him muttering vaguely threatening sounding shit in russian when shit doesn’t go their way. Has tried most substances for “research purposes”, ultimately decided he doesn’t like the feeling of their big ol brain being hindered under the influence, this has a few exceptions tho, mainly when it’s with Leo. Has John Bishops IP address and threatens to drop it on 4chan to “see what happens” every time he tries messing with their family or stopping him from “borrowing” material resources from the US government. Almost considered bs-ing his way into college before they used a cloaking broach to shadow april at school for like 2 days. It was there they learned that the education system fucking sucks and he probably knows more than most professors about his topics of interest anyway. Does freelance work for cash, as far as their brothers know they’re not building and selling anything dangerous (which is code for probably arming both sides in a far away military conflict with deathrays). Spends his free time cyber bullying children on roblox and twitter, and caring for their greenhouse of plants that all have names. (yes he grows weed. his GeniusGrown™️ zaza is known far and wide for its consistently excellent quality. and no, Leo does not get a family discount. Mikey does tho.)

Raph- Someone please send the big man some help😭 he/him(?) Definitely queer in some way shape or form but refuses to confront any identity crisis because he’s just so busy keeping his dumb ass siblings outta shit. Tried weed once and will never touch a substance again, makes his anxiety spike real bad when he doesn’t feel in full control of himself. Runs around with Cassandra and sometimes Jr to do vigilante justice on the side of he and his siblings’ usual patrols. Living garbage disposal and i mean that quite literally. He has and will eat anything, rocks, toys, silverware, sometimes on accident, sometimes on a dare, and sometimes just because he wants to. He grew up gnawing on the legs of furniture, rusty sewer pipes, really any nonliving thing that he could fit his choppers around (unlike donnie who just bit any living creature within a 5 mile radius of his location). Since the invasion made Leo step up as leader Raph has been able to step back a little bit and not have everything in a chokehold, he has a mini crisis about his place in the family and his sense of identity without being a leader. Tries to hide how much it’s affecting him but ofc, living with mikey, this does not last and his ass FINALLY gets chucked (very lovingly) into therapy. Loves to knit, definitely in some kind of old lady facebook group centered around it (he has so much nursing home gossip floating around in his brain hehe)

Alright that’s all for the teetlez. lmk if yall wanna hear about my thoughts on the rest of the main cast, or some of the side cast! Can’t promise i’ll have this much to say on all of em but i’ve definitely got thoughts lol. I might even make a post diving into different character dynamics. idk tho, my fingies are tired typing all that shit😭

Anyway i hope u enjoyed my ramblings, have a lovely day :3

[billfarrah]

@unfortunate17 and I were discussing Wille’s anxiety and how we don’t feel like Wille’s reluctance to partake in public speaking was a result of his anxiety, but rather his history of being forced to speak and say things he doesn’t mean and follow a script in order to preserve the reputation of his family and control the public’s perception of him. He was forced to follow a script three times in season 1 - the first when he had to apologize on TV for a fight he was not sorry about, when he had to read a written speech to his classmates regarding his brother who had just died, and when he was forced to lie about the video leading to the destruction of his relationship with Simon.

In my opinion Wille’s fear of public speaking in season 2 is not related to general or social anxiety - as I do not believe Wille has social anxiety at all and is not shy at all despite some people in the fandom tending to believe he is - but rather a fear of being perceived, because that is ultimately Wille’s main struggle in the series - not being with a boy, not being in love with a gay, not being queer, but being perceived by others and feeling forced to live up to a certain standard or expectation when all he wants to do is live his life truthfully and without people having opinions about the things he does.

What’s so powerful and beautifully written about the scenes with Boris is that even though Wille is made to see a therapist by his mother, the Queen, who is the one who persuaded/forced him speak out when he didn’t want to, Wille’s sessions with Boris are the first time he is told he doesn’t have to say anything if  he doesn’t want to, and the confidentiality of their sessions and Boris’ position as an unbiased professional allows him to be more honest with not only himself, but with another person without feeing like he is being judged or forced to feel or believe something he doesn’t.

We see in season 1 episode 4, when Wille goes off script and speaks from the heart about Erik, and in season 2 episode 6 when he once again goes off script, that Wille really has no issues with speaking to a crowd, but only when he feels he’s being truthful and honest and in control of the narrative. His fear of speaking in the class presentation, in my opinion, has a lot to do with how out of control of his own narrative Wille felt throughout season 2 as a result of the lie at the end of season 1 and the events of season 2 - he is perceived by his classmates now as having denied being a part of the video, as if it was something to be ashamed of, he is perceived as being interested in Felice when in reality he’s desperately in love with Simon. He just wants to exist and stay true to himself and it scares him to do it in front of an audience, and that’s what makes it so powerful when we see him slowly begin to accept how he feels about himself and the circumstances of his life through the sessions with Boris, and how that results with him re-taking control of his own narrative at the Jubilee at the end of the season, and that’s just beautiful writing.

[lunar-years]

To preface I would never pretend to be any sort of expert on child abuse and trauma nor on healing from that trauma etc. but I also think the "Jamie wasn't forgiving his father, he was releasing his father's control over his life" viewpoint, while not necessarily wrong, is also...too simplistic? First of all Ted DOES frame it as "forgiveness." The phrase he uses literally is "just forgive him." So that's the message the show is sending regardless of whether that's how we personally make sense of Jamie's actions or not. Secondly, you don't just flick a switch from being terrified of your father and dictated by that fear one day to being totally free of his grip on you AND in a healthy and mentally stable enough place to reach out to him the next (let alone in the span of like, two hours, in the middle of a football match and immediately afterwards. Right after starting to emerge from a depressive episode!!).

I can definitely understand why Jamie may have texted his father in that moment, given the enormously high stress + bad mental health combo he'd been living under for days (weeks?), on top of Ted's (imo ill-fated) advice. But I can't for the life of me make sense of that being a "healthy" choice for him (which I think is how the show would like us to view it). The text alone may have not been inviting his father back into his life, but we see him going to visit his dad in the very next episode. I mean??? we skipped about 1200 steps to get there in an actually healthy way, I think, and talking to an actual therapist about the matter is top of the list.

If Jamie is working to free himself from his father's hold on him, that's a complicated and slow process that I'm not convinced is going to be helped by getting more involved in his father's life and potentially, given the rehab situation, care. I mean we know Jamie's character and I don't think it's really his personality to visit once for peace of mind and then drop this. It's much more likely he extends time and help to his dad and ends up more invested, rather than "free." That could be something that ends well for everyone, if his dad really is putting in the work and is in fact deserving of a ~second chance~ (or third, or fourth...we literally don't even know if he's tried and failed to get sober and Be Better before, but it's very possible), but it is also something that could go very very poorly and result in new devastation and instability for Jamie all over again. At the time Ted was giving Jamie his little speech about it (which he based on an extremely different situation with his own mother in his own life, mind you), he was completely unaware James Sr was even in rehab, and it was actually dangerous (imo) to Jamie, mentally and physically, for him to have given the advice that he did.

Basically, I think Ted's words were well meaning but ultimately very misguided, the actions we see Jamie taking as a result do make sense for the character's state of mind but not necessarily for his well being, and if Jamie would like to give his father another chance it is fully his decision and right to do so. But the storyline wasn't given the time nor care nor complexity that sort of story absolutely requires in order to be done well. And the fact that Jamie leaps in full-force on it without onscreen evidence of him getting any input on the matter from anyone in his life apart from one (questionable) conversation with Ted does not exactly instill confidence in me that the situation ends happily tied up in the bow of father-son reconciliation the show surface-level portrays it to be.

[psychotic-system-culture-is]

☆ Meet the Mods ☆

If you know, or think you know, the mods' personal identities, please keep it to yourselves.

☆ Mod TC 🌙☆

★ DID system, unknown psychotic disorder (likely schizo-spec)

★ Plural They/It || 21+ || Gender-Neutral Terms

🦊 - symptom holder, positive and negative symptoms (paranoia, delusions of persecution, auditory/tactile/visual hallucinations, disorganized thoughts/speech)

🐦 - in-system therapist, emotional facilitator

🎀 - psychotic symptom holder, negative symptoms (disorganized thoughts/speech)

🫀 - psychotic symptom holder, positive symptoms (delusions of grandeur)

❓❔ - general unknown placeholders

☆ Important Notes ☆

We are 100% endo safe, though we do not identify as "pro-endo" due to being anti-syscourse. We believe in the existence of endogenic systems, do not equate them with transID/radqueer ideologies, and likely controversially, believe they can be disordered too (disorder ≠ origin). The disorder stems from dissociation and PTSD, and "endogenic" does not mean they have no trauma, just that they do not attribute their system formation to trauma. Having headmates/alters in and of itself is not a disorder, it's the functioning and impact on the life.

We are not pro-, or even neutral-, psychiatry; we believe the psychiatric industry is corrupt, abusive, and should be either dismantled or significantly reformed. Consent and autonomy is our ultimate belief - if someone wants care, they should be able to have easy/affordable access to compassionate, competent, and comprehensive care; on the other hand, if someone doesn't want care, they should not be forced/coerced into receiving it, no matter how badly they "need" it. We believe medication and treatment itself is not the problem, but the saneism, ableism, and lack of autonomy intertwined in the foundation is.

[aestheticaltcow]

So, can we all agree that SydCarmy is happening in season 3? Okay, so we all agree- this is the kiss scene I want.

Carmy gets out of the walk-in and has a little temper tantrum similar to the one he has when The Beef is trying to-go orders; he goes outside to be mad. Syd feels compelled to go out and make sure he's okay—he was locked in a fridge on F&F night, blew up his romantic relationship, and blew up his relationship with Richie.

The second Carmy sees Syd, calm. He just looks at her. She is about to ask him if he's okay; as she approaches him, he starts signing sorry and then SMOOCH! He kisses her; it's a fantastic kiss- the best kiss either party ever had. Maybe it starts raining...

That's it. The two separate and go back to finish the shift and don't discuss the sheer power of that smooch. As the season goes on, we get some really great backstory that helps character development. The second-to-last episode, Syd-Carmy date—HORRIBLE. Everything that can go wrong goes wrong. Carmy walks Syd back to her place, and the two are standing outside the building, and we get a similarly awkward goodbye like the bench scene in S2. Before he can leave, Syd initiates another kiss- the chemistry is there, but something is holding the two of them back.

The final episode, Syd randomly comes to Carmy's place. He's in some state of undress. PASSIONATE makeout scene. Syd takes her shirt off and it hits the two of them... bestie vibes only.

Then Syd meets her Pete, and they get married. Carmy gives a beautiful speech (that vaguely insinuates he was in love with her at one point), and they coexist as bestie chefs.

I love SydCarmy in theory, but ultimately, I want Syd to find a man outside of the culinary world and the only relationship Carmy needs involves a therapist and maybe an anti-depressant.

Now that I have that off my chest, I'm going to stop procrastinating a presentation that's due tonight.

[arinrowan]

I want the election to be over for many reasons, but a major one is I need to know if the muteness is situational or permanent.

sometimes I just can't talk. sometimes, it's that the words physically can't come out of my throat. sometimes, it's that my brain won't even let them reach my throat.

Until I saw a specialist in 2020, there was an eight week period of almost complete muteness. No one could tell me what was wrong, which also meant no one could tell me it would improve. Even after I finally saw an ENT doctor, the test results were inconclusive and I needed an additional referral to a speech therapist to determine which vocal cord dysfunction was happening.

Muscle Tension Dysphonia can be treated by speech therapy. This was the vocal cord disorder I was ultimately diagnosed with, which responded to speech therapy on my very first session. Post diagnosis and speech therapy, while I'd still get bouts of mutism, they'd last hours instead of weeks and were generally tied to stress.

Spasmodic Dysphonia is the other common vocal cord disorder. Treatment is inconclusive. Recovery is inconclusive. It's a lifelong condition. And if, once the dust from the election has settled, I still can't talk, there's a significant chance I've developed that in addition to MTD.

I think, during that period in 2020, I already processed a lot of emotions around what it would mean if I couldn't speak again. And over the past four years I've gone mute enough times I know the workarounds. Mostly it's just a thing that happens to me. But if my voice doesn't come back after the election, it stops being situational. It becomes a new normal. It means multiple doctor appointments and a neurologist and speech pathologist and another ENT doctor putting a camera down my throat, all coordinated referrals my insurance will only partially cover to probably be told they can't do shit.

I want to talk to my dad. I want to talk to my nephews at thanksgiving. I don't want to see how my mom can talk over me when I can't talk back.

I want the election to be over so I can tell in just how many ways I'm fucked.

[ziskeyt]

I am aware that when people say "i'm going to have a stroke" it is hyperbole and they are just trying to say "this thing is making me feel like my brain isn't working" or, a similar sentiment. However, as a person who had a stroke I do want you to know that it is entirely possible to have a stroke and not experience it like what you may expect from media and stroke awareness campaigns. Additionally, it is entirely possible to have a stroke and have no underlying medication conditions or factors. You can, in fact, have a stroke and they will have no idea why.

Some of the arteries leading to your head, especially in the back, can be a little weird. When we were trying to determine why I had a stroke, and ultimately the doctors had to say, "we don't know why," my neurologist told me that sometimes it's about the stress on the artery. You've probably gone to the hairdresser and had them put your head in the sink, right? Apparently that extension of the neck is enough stress that over time it could be why your artery tears and results in a stroke. This isn't to alarm you, but to inform.

You may be familiar with the F.A.S.T awareness campaigns. If not, it's this: Face drooping Arm weakness Speech difficulty Time to call 911 And, in many strokes these are the signs and you should absolutely get help if this happens to you or you see this happen to someone else. I didn't experience any of these when I had my stroke. I was talking to my therapist and suddenly lost my understanding of gravity and place. I became dizzy with no warning. Unfortunately, this was not the first time this happened to me, so it wasn't terribly alarming and is part of why it took four months to learn I'd had a stroke. But, I learned since that sudden unexplained dizziness is actually a symptom of a stroke, it's just not so common to have alone. I just had a very rare type of stroke. Anyway. I get people like to be hyperbolic, and I'm not offended by it, but I do think that a lot of people don't think they could have a stroke, may not be able to identify a stroke, and may be under the misconception this is something that only happens when you are old. I was 33. You've only one brain, if anything seems weird, please go get medical attention.

[irismitchells]

✦ HAVANA ROSE LIU, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER ✦ IRIS MITCHELL the TWENTY-SIX year old has been in willow’s edge for TWENTY YEARS ON AND OFF and was a FRIEND to JUNE, from the deceased family. whispers on the streets are that the WAITRESS AT SUNRISE DINER who lives in WINSLOW are said to be INQUISITIVE and SELF-ABSORBED but i guess we’ll find out for ourselves.

PINTEREST | PLAYLIST

full name — Iris Hui Mitchell nickname(s) — Her family calls her Mo for a reason she shall never divulge xx age — 26 date of birth — June 20th place of birth — Charleston, SC education level & job — Currently enrolled in a Speech Language Pathology graduate program with only a semester left. She completed a Bachelor of Science in Communication Sciences and Disorders and worked as a Child Life Specialist in the Charleston school district for 3 years. After returning to Willow's Edge a year and a half ago, she became a waitress at the local greasy spoon to help support herself through grad school. residence — Winslow (with two roommates... wanted connections incoming) family — Her father Ricky Mitchell is a local car salesman, and her mother Lisa Mitchell (nee Yue) is a reading teacher at the elementary school. Iris also has an older sister, Scarlett, who is an Occupational Therapist in a nearby town.

overview. 

Always hovering somewhere between blue-collar and middle-class, The Mitchell family has always prided themselves on self-sufficiency, independence, and a strong sense of community. They're townies through and through.

Ricky Mitchell is known for dressing up for every major holiday (Santa at Christmas, a leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day, etc.) and holding court at Smokey's. He's a bit of a Character. Lisa, by contrast, is a bit of an introverted neurotic — she most often ventures out into town to participate behind the scenes of town events. Each of their daughters was brought up with a strong proclivity for Getting Shit Done and lowkey.... loving attention and control.💗

Both Iris and Scarlett attended Willow's Edge public schools through 6th grade before they finished their junior and high school experience at a Catholic school a few towns over, so while her parents continued to be deeply entrenched in Willow's Edge society, Iris and Scarlett fell a tiny bit to the wayside as they got older.

The Mitchell family are devout Catholics in name only. The type of people who primarily attend church on major holidays and when it was any run-of-the-mill Sunday Mass, they attended for social reasons. Keep up with town gossip, trade popovers, and sip on sweet tea down in the church basement. As an adult, Iris only goes for Midnight Mass. Lapsed Catholic vibe.

But it was a boy at church that Iris fell in love with when she was 15. Sitting around in the pews during one of their Confirmation classes, each whispered joke Mason Goodwin told about Monsignor Martinez was met with nervous giggles and flushed cheeks from Iris.

They didn't start dating until they were 17 and he was her first, and still only, boyfriend. The relationship lasted for 8 years. They didn't talk about things like marriage or kids or a very defined future until that future snuck up on them. Mason's degree took him west, and he ultimately decided for the both of them that she wouldn't come with. Devastated, Iris returned to Willow's Edge.

Since her return, and nursing a broken heart, Iris took a job at Sunrise Diner. She was one of the very few people willing to wake up at the crack of dawn for the early breakfast shift, after all. Finishing up her Master's, and trying not to still think about Mason, Iris found a lot of comfort in her friendships -- and that included the one with June.

They weren't super close before Iris left for college, but they'd grown increasingly fond of each other as the months passed. June's friendship was one of the things that helped pull Iris out of her breakup blues. In turn, a kind, sweet-tongued comfort when Iris was sad and then a fun-seeking partner on the weekends when Iris needed a distraction. She was a good friend to Iris.

Which made some things difficult... Iris is bad at secrets. She loves to learn them, of course, but she isn't so good at keeping them. She doesn't run her mouth around town, but it's almost always certain that if one friend tells her something semi-secret then Iris is passing that info on to one other friend. She can't help it. And when the secret is her own, it's somehow worse. Her compulsion tells her to come clean immediately or to whisper it into several friends' ears. But her most recent secret was a little more complicated...

Iris kissed June's boyfriend Caleb. And June died before Iris could tell her.

personality.

Iris is a princess of sometimes saying out-of-pocket shit and staring at slight blemishes on your face until you're like, WHAT skjdfns. And, with her background in speech, she often analyzes your speech in her head too. Sometimes outside of her head too.

She's a bit shameless with the people she's close with, a fan of meeting and getting to know new ones, and... on a heavy dose of anxiety meds! She talks a lot because 1) she likes conversation and 2) it's half-compensation for said aforementioned anxiety.

When your anxiety manifests as a desire to be liked and friends with everyone which then reveals a real sense of self-absorption and, every once in a while, leads to weird drama... love it!

positive: organized, passionate, charismatic, loyal, curious, expressive, social

negative: condescending, impulsive, gossipy (can't keep a secret), scattered, fidgety, approval-seeking, overly sensitive

misc headcanons.

Quick list: ❤️'s weed, cooking, surfing, hiking + camping, sharing facts and feeling a little more well-informed (Wikipedia page memorizer), talking through movies, weekend trips, skinny dipping, hanging out with old people, doing Randy Newman impressions, waking up early, showing the people she loves new things, sharing experiences, watching reality tv a la Sister Wives, etc.

Oh -- and she's a Swiftie.

[blackwaxidol]

The sense that psychiatry as a field is rather skewed, nitpicky and in some cases disconnected with reality comes about as an obvious thought when you are a teenager discussing your issues, and with time you hear two medical professionals throw about various words between you and themselves. You consider these and wonder if there is something lacking, if your symptoms can be aligned with so much.

Borderline Personality, Bipolar, Schizotypal, Schizoid... yet ultimately choosing a keenness to just examine it as anxiety and depression—which irritated me. Yes, certainly... I have the excruciating anxiety of a schizotype and a schizoid's apathy and disinterest in people and how forcing speech feels like drowning, a borderine's uncontrolled emotional intensity, but if you are taking so much from so many different places... then what at all does it really mean or matter?

It seemed obvious to treat my symptoms. This did not occur, because the desired treatment for depression did not affect me, as I knew it wouldn't. I humoured a few different medications for the sake of leverage... I do that a lot with doctors, you play their little games so that your compliance makes your opinions rather level-headed when the time comes that you can express them. I didn't mind being fucked about with medication, what made me the most difficult was when I was invited to... whatever it was, cognitive behavioural therapy.

Useless, useless... I am not a good talker, I have never found a point in discussing myself with a therapist because it does nothing for me. What am I supposed to feel? Accomplished? I don't hate that therapist or those psychiatrists, it means nothing to me. Unserious profession. Before I was discharged one of my last meetings was during my breakdown in 2018, I told my therapist about my homicidal ideation. The gormless response is "Did you do it?" and it has cemented the notion that there is no consideration of the "why". Why was I so unstable? Why was this my reaction? No thought whatsoever. Had I divulged my childhood I would have gotten a diagnosis of PTSD instead, equally useless in my eyes. What afterwards? More talking therapy? More obligatory speech and worksheets that I care not for..? I always asked directly what the point of this exercise was. I don't remember the answer.

Whatever. I don't feel any particular way about this, it doesn't light a fire under my ass to want to talk antipsychiatry. I read discussions about it from one mutual and that is fine by me. I don't mean to sound disinterested, but the kind of social apathy or anhedonia has never left me and in a lot of ways has worsened significantly. I don't have any mutuals newer than a few years, because I have grown deeply disinterested in getting to know new people, I mention this already to some extent but it would warrant its own post to describe in full.

This post has no point to give, or not one that I am able to see, just a thought of mine I have had for years that I am ready to shelve.

[speechandotplano]

Understanding Childhood Apraxia: A Comprehensive Guide

Childhood Apraxia is a speech disorder that can be challenging to diagnose due to symptom overlaps with other speech disorders. However, recognizing unique signs is crucial for accurate detection. Key symptoms include the inability to transition smoothly between sounds, syllables, or words, vowel distortions, and difficulties in syllable-stressing.

What Causes Childhood Apraxia?

Determining the root cause of childhood apraxia can be complex. While many professionals may not isolate the exact cause, some studies suggest links to factors like brain injuries, strokes, and genetic disorders. It's important to note that childhood apraxia cannot be cured, but it can be effectively managed with consistent speech therapy.

Complications Associated with Childhood Apraxia

Childhood apraxia can impact more than just a child's speech. It can affect various aspects of their learning, including motor skills, reading, writing, and coordination. Some children with apraxia may also exhibit hypersensitivity to certain materials, fabrics, or sensations.

Treatment Strategies for Childhood Apraxia

Early diagnosis and intervention are crucial for reducing the impact of childhood apraxia. Speech therapy plays a central role in treatment. Some effective techniques involve repeating sounds, syllables, and words to help children learn to produce the correct sounds. Demonstrating how sounds and words are formed, possibly using mirrors and hand gestures, can aid in effective speech training. The practice of co-production, where the therapist and the child say a word simultaneously, can reinforce proper speech habits.

Understanding Early Signs of Apraxia and Overcoming It

Apraxia is a neurological condition that is not yet fully understood, making treatment approaches a subject of ongoing exploration. Symptoms of apraxia typically involve difficulty in executing specific motor movements, despite having normal muscle function. There are various forms of apraxia, including orofacial apraxia, which affects facial muscle movements, and apraxia of speech, which hinders mouth and tongue movements necessary for speaking.

Treating Apraxia: Tailored to Individual Needs

While some cases of apraxia may spontaneously resolve, developmental apraxia of speech often requires treatment. The effectiveness of treatment varies from person to person, emphasizing the importance of tailored approaches. Typically, treatment involves sessions with a speech-language pathologist three to five times per week. Additionally, parental involvement is encouraged to reinforce the skills learned during therapy.

Enhancing Speech Coordination

Therapy for apraxia focuses on practicing sound and word formation. Multisensory approaches are utilized, such as using mirrors and tactile feedback while speaking. In severe cases, sign language may be taught to ensure clear communication, although most therapists encourage children to attempt spoken words to practice necessary mouth movements.

Childhood Apraxia: When Speech Is a Challenge

Childhood apraxia is a speech disorder characterized by difficulties in moving speech-related muscles correctly. Contrary to misconceptions, the issue is not weak muscles but rather the brain sending incorrect signals to the muscles responsible for speech. Effective speech therapy is essential to retrain the brain and enable children to speak more naturally and confidently.

Understanding Speech Apraxia in Children

Speech apraxia, also known as apraxia of speech, occurs when a child struggles with the precise movements required to form sounds. Children with speech apraxia know what they want to say, but their brains face challenges in directing the necessary muscle movements for speech.

Treating Speech Apraxia in Children: Making Speech More Natural

Apraxia of speech in children necessitates speech therapy to help them plan and execute the movements required for speech production, ultimately making speech more automatic and natural. Repetition and practice are key elements of this therapeutic approach.

Ways to Support a Child with Speech Apraxia

There are several ways to support children with speech apraxia:

Leverage Available Resources: Access informative websites and support groups, such as Speech and Language Kids and Apraxia Kids, to ease the journey.

Utilize Technology: Smartphones and tablets can serve as effective learning tools, offering auditory and visual feedback. There are numerous apraxia apps available to enhance the learning process.

Share Your Speech Abilities: As a parent, you can guide your child by emphasizing speech movements and using finger placement to indicate the correct positions of lips and tongue.

Prioritize Your Health: Maintaining your own well-being is vital for providing strong support to your child. Regular exercise, relaxation techniques like yoga and meditation, and a balanced diet contribute to your ability to assist your child effectively.

If you have concerns about your child's language and speech development, consider reaching out to Speech and Occupational Therapy of Plano, Texas, for a consultation. Early intervention and tailored treatment plans are essential for children with speech apraxia to achieve their full potential.

[sincerecinnamon]

if you were a danganronpa character, what would your ultimate be?

what role would you have? protag? antag? survivor? blackened? murdered? mastermind?

give answers

OHOHOHO

Back in my danganronpa days, I thought extensively

Then, I very much would have said ultimate writer, but y'know, we can't ignore the genocide jill in the room, so I chose ultimate therapist because I usually help my friends when they have problems

Now, though? I'd probably go with "ultimate competitive speaker" because I do well in speech competitions, winning last year's modern oratory competition between all my competitors in the district :)

[fallen-angel-adam-frankenstein]

Option five: “You care for me a little bit, I do think, but I can’t hang all my life on a little bit. You hang all yours on Anne; you don’t worry whether your relation with her is platonic or not, you just know it’s big enough to hang a life on. I can’t hang mine on the five minutes you spare me from her and politics - you’ll make me free of the house, take endless bother to marry me off, because that puts me off your hands. You won’t see me . . . and you don’t love me. I was yours ’til death if you’d cared to keep me, once, but I’m someone else’s now, and he’s mine in a way that shocks you. Why don’t you stop being shocked and attend to your own happiness?”

[usagirln12003]

Bill Denbrough: Hogwarts AU

Bill Denbrough is a Pureblood wizard that was born on the 4th of January 1976 and started attending Hogwarts on the 1st of September 1987, being sorted into Gryffindor house.

He has a Yew wand with a Phoenix Feather core.

He has a Non-Corporeal Patronus.

His favorite subject is Defense Against the Dark Arts and his least favorite is Potions.

He was one of the Gryffindor Prefects of his year and the Head-Boy of his year.

Bill has been steadfast for most of his life, using his bravery and instinct to unite his friends in turmoil. He is also a talented writer, and even from a young age, he would write stories in his room with the typewriter his parents gave him. Though he is a brilliant wordsmith, Bill's verbal speech is nowhere near as finely tuned since Bill has a severe speech impediment for the entirety of his childhood.

Bill overcame his stutter during his teenage years due to a private speech therapist at St. Mungos, however his stutter returned unexpectedly after receiving a letter from Mike Hanlon that summoned him back to Hogsmead a year after they graduated. Bill's stutter noticeably gets worse when he is upset, angry, or afraid. The speech impediment will sometimes not be apparent such as when he is reading a different language, doing an impression (e.g. Henry Bowers) or when he is making a speech. It's because of his stutter that Henry Bowers and many other Slytherins bullied Bill viciously. Although upset with being treated in this manner, Bill doesn't mind when his friends poke fun at his stutter.

Bill's greatest attribute is undying love for his younger brother Georgie, which was only strengthened when Georgie was brutally murdered by a werewolf sent by Pennywise. Bill uses Georgie's memory as a guiding light to defeat Pennywise. While his love for Georgie is endearing, it's also a great source of guilt, as he feels Georgie died as a direct result of him helping Georgie make the paper boat that ultimately led to his death. Though he is told by Richie that it isn't his fault, the guilt follows him throughout his childhood and Hogwarts years and enables Pennywise to torment him with illusions of Georgie. After Georgie's death, Bill's parents grow distant and begin to neglect him, to the point that he wonders if they ever loved him at all. His relationship with his parents unfortunately never recovers. After graduating from Hogwarts, Bill is still convinced that he is to blame for Georgie's death and doesn't recognize that what his parents did to him was wrong and abusive. This doesn't change until Pennywise forces him to confront his greatest fear by turning into Georgie and accusing him of being the reason Georgie died.

Bill is shown to be reckless and impulsive on multiple occasions, especially when he is face to face with Pennywise. But despite his headstrong demeanor, Bill is extremely intelligent and shows great maturity. He has the power to pull the Loser's Club together through the horrors that Pennywise sets upon them to get to him.

The dynamic with Bill and Georgie (post-death) in his first years at Hogwarts was different though, as he is shown to be more delusional in thinking that Georgie must have survived and takes the majority of his first three years to come to terms with his brother's death. He not only concerns himself with Georgie's disappearance, but with all children that have disappeared in Britain, and is convinced that they can be found and reunited with their families. This is, of course, proven wrong by the end of his third year.

Bill demonstrates great difficulty in coping with the possibility of Georgie being dead. He goes so far as to plead with his father that they could still find Georgie, even showing his father a diagram model of the Hogwarts' grounds to no avail. When Bill and Richie get into an argument over the necessity of facing Pennywise and Richie insists that Georgie is dead, salting Bill's wound, he ends up punching Richie when Richie refuses to take it back. At this time, he states that he understands that everyone is scared, which shows that he is still able to show empathy while under great duress. At the end of the year, he apologizes to Richie.

During the final fight with Pennywise, Pennywise seems to recognize Bill as the one from the prophecy and subdues him, telling the Losers Pennywise is willing to let them leave provided that he gets to keep Bill. Quite needlessly, Bill apologizes to them for putting them in harm's way - something all the Losers did voluntarily and out of love for Beverly and each other - and pleads with them to save themselves. Richie finds his bravery at this moment and saves Bill, attacking Pennywise in his werewolf form.

On a more positive note, Bill demonstrates artistic ability in his free time with a drawing of Beverly and has horror movie posters up on the walls in the Gryffindor dorm, a subtle nod to Bill's future career as a horror writer. Indeed, when Bill grows up, he is a very successful mystery-horror writer, but is shown to be frustrated and irritated by frequent criticisms of his endings due to their being unsatisfactory. Bill justifies his endings by stating that they are a reflection of reality, as the concepts of closure and happy-endings are impractical; this attitude most likely being subconscious residual guilt he feels at having lost his brother during his youth.

When Bill isn't hyper focused on Pennywise and his doings, he's an average teenage boy, making jokes, playing with his friends, and wanting nothing more than to be happy and secure at a time of great turmoil.