#Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Izumi

[phlebaswrites]

The Only Living Boy in Konoha

Summary:

Cafe Uchiwa serves coffee.

(But that's not all it does.)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Izumi Word Count: 1,045 (Complete)

Entry for @narutorarepairweek

Day 2 - July 31: Meet Cute Wheel | Modern Ninja AU

Inspired by @greencuttingmat wondering if it was possible to have a coffeeshop AU where neither of the main characters is a barista, this story was written for day 2 of Naruto Rarepair Week, for the prompt 'Modern Ninja AU'.

The title is, of course, a play on the Simon & Garfunkel song The Only Living Boy in New York, and the chapter titles are also the names of songs by them.

This story also owes its existence to I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York), an absolutely fantastic coffeeshop AU that really showed me how it should be done and incepted me with the connection between Simon & Garfunkel and this trope.

Thank you forever, gyzym.

Izumi walks around the cafe, biting her lip as she looks for the shirt her model said he would be wearing.

Given that almost everyone is wearing back in varying styles, it's less useful than she would have hoped as a guide.

"Hey, miss." An arm waves at her and she stops. It's a mistake, she realises immediately, but that doesn't help her now. "I need a refill." The man raises his mug, clearly expecting her to take it. "A six shot venti."

A venti?

This isn't a Starbucks!

Still, she takes the cup anyway and heads for the counter.

This shift is constantly understaffed - something that always happens during term time when most of the university students who have part-time jobs here are busy with classes - and it's not as if she doesn't know how to work the espresso machine.

"Please allow me, Izumi-san." Long fingers swoop in to scoop the mug out of her hand, making her blink at its sudden disappearance. "The cafe is the responsibility of my family."

"But it's not your responsibility!" She chases him past the pastry case, but doesn't manage to snatch the cup back. "You don't work as a barista anymore, Itachi-san!"

"I'm attempting to become a barrister, is that close enough?" He flashes her a quick smile, small and contained but it’s there.

"Studying for the bar has nothing to do with making coffee!" She makes one last attempt to stop him, but he dodges around her to get to the machine. "Itachi-san!"

Read the rest on AO3.

[usuratongaychi]

shisui my baby, + shiitaizu

shisui come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

[itamis-multi-muses]

Look at all of us~ I cherish this picture very much💜💜

[commander-revan]

I have unfortunately realized that my type seems to primarily consist of traumatized goth men with daddy issues.

And any dark-haired woman who looks like she could kill me with a thought.

[moonbiscuitsims]

🍥I'm going to upload naruto deco cc tomorrow 🍥 Download the stuff here (✿◡‿◡)

my naruto sims are slightly cyberpunk/modern style

also this happened... I think vlad and mad are perfect for each other with their "i couldn't be bothered to give them outwear and probably need to do a cc batch fix for no random" looks

[melpika]

Naruto Poll !!

[adhdnojutsu]

Uchihas are Jew-coded

Preface: I'm Jewish. As with all marginalized minorities, outsiders are welcome to listen, ask questions etc. but not talk over or goysplain us. This applies especially to challenging our indigeneity. Which is not in "Gobacktoeurope"...

Obito

I first started headcanoning this after seeing Obito's Kamui dimension. His panic room looks a lot like the Holocaust memorial in Berlin.

He also said this to Rin:

Talmud (Sanhedrin 37a): “Whoever saves a single life is considered by scripture to have saved the whole world.'

Tikkun Olam: if I ruled the world...

Jews have a collective imperative of Tikkun Olam, aka fixing the world. Obito's and Madara's drive to do so means little on the face since many anime villains have this goal, but given the previous things mentioned, this looks like part of a pattern. Itachi and Sasuke, too, wanted to shoulder the weight of the world to make it a better place. Even if it meant the whole world hating you - like the whole world has hated and still hates Jews.

Let's delve deeper into that hatred, shall we? The anti-Semitic conspiracy theory that we secretly run the world is directly tied to our imperative to fix it. You can't fix anything without power and influence. In fact, the whole notion of Tikkun Olam being our job, may strike Gentiles as conceited and inspire hatred. Obito and Madara needed to "run the world" in order to "fix it" and were happy to accept that this meant being hated.

This "Jews control the world" conspiracy theory connects seamlessly to Konoha's suspicion of the clan conspiring to take over and using the Sharingan, a trait unique to the Uchiha, to control tailed beasts in order to execute such a take-over. Kotoamatsukami is the ultimate parallel to Jews secretly controlling the media, and with them, public opinion (but not in our favour?).

Just like the Sharingan, Jews have, or are accused of having, singular qualities that facilitate our rise to power. This is because Judaism is a closed (ethno)religion and opting in (converting), having interfaith families etc. is discouraged. In some ultra-Orthodox communities, this is taken quite far... Let's just say that Uchiha wives, too, take their husband's last name, but Mikoto Uchiha looks like Sasuke looks like Izuna... go figure.

Of course, in the case of Jews, this quality is not so much a gate-kept genetic trait, as a gravitation towards intellectual and influential professions passed down through generations. This is a direct result of anti-Semitic policy though: often being excluded from handicraft etc, Jews shifted the focus to administrative, financial and legal sectors. Jews are also traditionally studious, so our apparent domination of the Noble Prize is a result of this.

But no matter the cause of our success in certain areas, it would obviously have Gentiles eyeing us with suspicion. Why is a single ethnoreligious minority so prominently represented in positions of influence and acclaim? What might we be plotting? Why shouldn't we be plotting, since we ARE - allegedly - conniving, manipulative and greedy? Better get rid of us. Remember: Nazis hated Jews and were scared of arts and literature. Being Jewish and being an intellectual are, if you ask anti-Semites, shortcuts to power. You know who else hates books and Jews? Every single terrorist organization, be it Taliban, Hamas, ISIS,... Anti-intellectuals are often anti-Semites. Education is power. Jews love education. Terrorist regimes hate smart subjects. Ignorance is cheaper than bullets, after all.

Ghetto Uprising/Beware the Beginnings

The clan suspected the compound was just the beginning. Although the discrimination the Uchiha actually suffered - a compound, which all the other clans got, too, and surveillance - was not comparable to the Warsaw Ghetto or any other real world segregation, Fugaku and other clan members expected it to take a turn for the worse if ignored. And in order to prevent another Holocaust, you must recognize and fight the beginnings.

These beginnings are upon us once more. Anti-Semitism has been skyrocketing, and blaming Israel, a single, far-away country, is dishonest, considering:

Palestinians have massacred Jews decades before there even was a state of Israel; what Nakba was their excuse in 1922? What Nakba was there in Iran?

Jews are entitled to Israeli citizenship, all moving expenses paid, so why do many live in Diaspora? Could it be that they do not wish to be involved with the state of Israel? So why take it out on them, unless one already hated Jews?

The most recent rise in anti-Semitism didn't follow Israel's bombardment of Gaza, but the DAY of Hamas' mass rapes, mutilations, torture, and murder of 1000+ Jews on October 7. People who don't usually praise children, including those of "colonizers", getting slaughtered and mutilated, suddenly praised exactly that. These people have always been anti-Semitic and found an excuse to be loud about it by weaponizing Palestinian suffering, which they only care about because Jews are the culprit. Proof: Houthis are starving Muslim children in Yemen, China oppresses Uyghur Muslims, Assad gassed Muslims, America bombed Muslims for 20 years, but - crickets. Think about it.

Likewise, the Narutoverse counterpart of the Nazis or Hamas, Tobirama and his acolytes, have found many a lazy excuse, most notably the Kyuubi attack. They suspected an Uchiha, and little did they know they were right, except, just like Netanyahu and the people under his command, a single deranged Obito did not represent a critical mass of Uchihas. And yet, the clan, just as world Jewry, faced collective punishment. The Narutoverse Nazis were frothing at the mouth for an excuse for decades, and notable Uchiha individuals kept delivering, not least because their own incompetence, just like Netanyahu's, allowed things to get that far to begin with.

Isobu

Doesn't Isobu look a lot like shellfish? And isn't he why Rin killed herself? Rin was Obito's everything and she died because of this monster. Not that it was Isobu's fault, but still.

Jews aren't allowed to eat shellfish. Obito has every reason to hate shellfish for the mere memory that stuff evokes. I know it's a bit of a reach, but again, patterns.

Dress Codes

For a proud, prominent clan with a bit of a superiority complex for their gate-kept characteristics, the Uchiha sure dress very modestly, the women even more so. In fact, they might just be the least flashy of all Konoha communities. The muted colours and baggy cuts scream "modesty". If you've ever wandered an Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood, you'll see the women tend to wear long, plain skirts, long, tight sleeves, ultra-conservative shoes, and plain, long or covered hair.

Mikoto fits right in, but so do other Uchiha women. Izumi is a bit "daring" with her sleeveless look, but her overall style still fits. Nobody in that clan seems to have much vanity, while the general population of Konoha and the Narutoverse at large, is a lot more individualistic.

"This guy just slaughtered the whole police force, let's throw a kunai at him and see what happens" bless her little heart

Flag Infestation

Uchihas have no chill when it comes to plastering their logo everywhere in their compound. They were driven out of the general public and are doubling down on pride as a result. Same applies to Jews in the safety of our indigenous homeland (the Jewish Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem predates Islam, born in modern Saudi Arabia, by many centuries, so don't Gobacktoeurope me).

Oh, and a Nazi found an excuse to ghetto them up, assigned some of them authority to keep their own in check (Sonderkommando/"Konoha" military police), then got rid of them all and managed to sell it as a necessary evil.

[xuelianchi]

my naruto doujinshi/ fan comic "Dango", PART 4

page 49 - 63

you can also read it at DEVIANTART or FANON

[uchiha-itachi-amaterasu]

Doujinshi cover - NARUTO / Itachi x Izumi (君のとなり) / パプリカ105号室

on public listing on otakurepublic and other public listings sites.

[yujiaysz]

#ssmonth23 day8 | NON MASSACRE

@ssmonth23

[succikko-draws]

Here's my contribution for this year's @akatsuki-gift-exchange with a Izumi lives AU :3

[mysteriouscrimsoneyes]

Wow! I’ve drawn a lot this year! These are only some of them including one I forgot to post (Itachi x Izumi - I wanna colour it first). Next year I wanna draw more Uchiha (already have plans for Izuna) and give my drawings more detail like the Shisui and Sakura drawings I did earlier in the year. I also wanna draw more Persona maybe even crossovers, but whatever happens I’ll continue posting my drawings and challenge myself to draw outside my comfort zone. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year Everyone!

[usuratongaychi]

happy birthday itachi <3

[itamis-multi-muses]

@shisuianon Masterpiece!

[kcuf-ad]

Naruto Au, where the massacre did not happen and Obito wasn't crushed by a rock, but there is a difference for the Uchiha.

All of the Uchiha men are Like Charasuke, Like it is the genetic gene. That includes all of them, yes and I mean all of them.

Fugaku is showing pictures of Mikoto in every clan meeting and he basically forces them to look at them, Itachi is on the phone with Izumi even during Battle and keeps kicking ass, Obito is buying a boquet of flowers for Rin every other day and can't showing pictures of her and their kid, Sasuke is able to beat the ever lasting shit out of anyone for scratching Sakura, doesn't matter if you are a genin or one of the 3 Sannin.

[sasori-rp]

Another unfortunate morning...

I have decided to acknowledge my acqaintances, that affect my life in one way or another. I have listed them all below.

Clever Girl - @izumi-uchiha-rp

My apprentice - @mackzsblog

Uchiha Puppet in the making - @kiigan

Brat - @chaoticclaybomber

Another Uchiha - @shisui-uchiha-rp

Immortal beauty - @hidan-rp

Friendly neighbourhood shark - @kisame-hoshigaki-rp

Fee Police - @kakuzulovesmoney

Nine-Tails - @naruto-uzumaki-rp

Another Uchi- how many of them are there?💢 - @sassykinzonline

My muse - @yu-huuuu

To clarify, this is for my convenience, and certainly not because they're my friends...

Who needs friends anyway.