#URGENT- Weird check-in | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

qlossytbh · 9 months ago

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𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐛𝐚𝐮!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 after a long day working on a specific murder case, all you want is to do was fall asleep, next to your boyfriend.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 fluff fluff and more fluff, established relationship, fem reader, brief mention of insecurity (spencer’s side), general cm content

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 2.4k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 started criminals minds and i fear this man is gonna push me down a rabbit hole. inspired on season 4 spence

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Longs days at work were usually your favorite— unless they induced an unhealthy amount of stress on you.

Unfortunately, today had been one of those days. To start off, Hotch called you in earlier, around six in the morning, due to an emergency statement issue he needed you to put together regarding your recent Unsub. You spent all day talking to witnesses, finally being able to establish a profile for the specific serial killer the BAU was hunting down.

You were utterly exhausted. You hadn't been sleeping entirely well, being kept up by nightmares regarding the current case and since it had been an eventful day, not only were you physically tired but mentally as well. Talking about woman getting raped and murdered and left in the middle of the streets wasn’t the most soul-fueling aspect of your job.

Your body begged for a nap— So did your brain.

The Unsub was attacking woman throughout the city of New York, so the BAU team opted on staying situated at some random hotel for the remaining of the week in order to get advances on the case. The end of your shift was intended to be around seven thirty, but Hotch once again asked you to stay behind and help Prentiss and Morgan with a few files. Being the person and colleague you were, you agreed without protest.

As another crack in your neck echoed throughout your head, you began questioning if your job was actually paying you enough.

Those extra two hours felt even longer with the never ending teasing of Morgan, whom to you resembled very close the figure of a brother. Irrevocably, excruciatingly annoying, but someone you cared for deeply.

Except for right now.

It was now ten. It was dark outside as you practically dragged yourself into the hotel lobby with Morgan and Prentiss tagging along much more actively, chatting endlessly about some irrelevant topic your head couldnt entirely latch onto. The heels of your feet were pulsating and you desperately needed to close your eyes. Your back felt terribly cramped due to being hunched over for so long at your desk so it came to no one’s surprise when you grimaced as you put a hand on your lower-back.

"Back problems?” Morgan dared, voice coming dangerously close to a tease. “At your age?"

You glared back at him, sending warning signs through your piercing gaze that he should be very careful with where he stepped.

"No,” Your voice was clenched. “These stupid hotel mattresses are utter crap and I was in some weird position last night."

“What kind of positions?” Emily eyed you from the side. You looked over at her, thinking you may of heard some suggestiveness laced in her tone. You caught a familiar evil glint in her eyes and realization dawned upon you, realizing what she had meant.

Your cheeks buzzed with heat as you jumped to your own defense. “Sleeping positions!”

You cringed internally, feeling mortified and annoyed and— tired. The two of them clearly had enough hours of sleep the night before to be in a cheery enough mood to tease you.

“I’m too tired to deal with the two of you,”

"Looks like someone's past their bedtime" Derek remarked while patting your head. You scowled, swatted his hand away urgently.

"I'm not gonna even fight you on that since all I want to do right now is sleep and not hear you guys make fun of me,” Emily checked her watch and elbowed Derek’s side.

"We should probably go get some rest too," She stated, finally putting you out of your misery. She jerked her chin in the opposite direction of the lobby, which was where her and Morgan’s rooms were.

There had been some sort of room distribution problem upon arrival, leaving half of the team on the left side of the building and the others on the right.

"You need me to walk you to your room?" Morgan asked without any teasing in sight, like he was genuinely concerned.

"I think I can make it to the second floor," You shrugged. "But thanks tough guy. Reid’s probably still up waiting for me."

Emily made a face before they nodded to themselves and with one final goodbye, headed off to their respective rooms in the other direction. You turned and made your way to the elevator, body heavy with sleep. Once inside, you closed your eyes and sighed heavily, leaning against the wall behind you with a thud. Your head was pounding and your legs desperately begged you to stop moving them.

The elevator came to a stop and you pushed yourself off the wall, waiting for it to open. Once it did, the eerie setting of the empty hallways settled in. You swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling fear trickling throughout your spine. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. Your job was bound to leave you with an unsettling feeling of being alone, but you weren't going to ever live down letting Morgan walk you to your room.

You hastily made your way to the door of the hotel room you shared with Spencer, slipping the keycard out your back pocket and opening the door.

Once inside, you slid off the heavy coat that hung on your shoulders and slipped it on the rack near the door. You heard the sheets shuffling in the room with a bit of urgency.

"It’s me Spence," You reassured, walking into the hallway and leaning against the wall that led towards the room.

You took in the sight in front of you and smiled happily. Satisfaction tan deep within you, knowing only you had the pleasure of seeing Spencer like this. So casually relaxed

His back was propped up against the headboard, hairs flying across his forehead showing the contrast between his usual somewhat tamed hair. He had his glasses perched upon the bridge of his nose and a book he had decided to read in his hand. Your smile was tired when he looked over at you, setting his book down.

"Hey," He started, smiling amiably. There was a familiar glow in his gaze that usually lit up when he looked at you. You sucked in a breath through your nose.

“Hi,”

“It’s late,” He said, almost as if coming to the realization of how late you had actually come back.

"Me, Prentiss and Morgan were at those files longer than expected— I'm exhausted." He patted the spot next to him.

"Then come sleep," You pushed yourself off the wall.

"I will, let me change and I'll be right with you,"

You turned grabbing your shorts and long sleeved shirt you usually slept in on the way to the bathroom. Some would debate the actual benefits of sleeping in shorts in New York winter were zero to none. Spencer had done so the first night you arrived, giving you all the reasons it wasn't beneficial and how likely you were to catch a cold. But long pants made you fidgety and caged. You hated how it felt to turn around in bed a few times and already feel the fabric getting twisted and stuck around your legs.

Besides, Spencers body temperature radiated enough heat to keep you warm, which was another beneficial reason of wearing shorts to sleep. Why avoid the cold when you had your very own personal human heater?

You looked at yourself in the mirror, failing to avoid the bags that were beginning to appear beneath your eyes. You promptly slipped off your turtleneck, sweater and jeans and put on your sleeping clothes. Once done, you left the bathroom, turning off the lights and closing the door behind you.

You reached up, pulling at the hair tie and freeing your hair from its low bun. Wordlessly, you made it to Spencers side of the bed and he innately threw the duvet cover backwards, allowing you enough space to climb in and rest yourself soundly between his legs, resting your head against his chest.

The silence that surrounded the two of you was enough to put you to sleep in that very moment. The comfortable surface of his solid chest was cozier than any mattress— even though you always unconsciously hoped you weren’t squishing him.

Spencer tossed his book onto the nightstand, slipping his glasses off his face as he quickly turned his attention to you. You placed your palms flat against his chest and rested your chin above them, allowing yourself to look up at him with a tired smile.

"Hi." You said. He reached over, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and smiling down at you with his familiar infamous dopey smile.

"Hi," He answered back, smile growing wider. "You look pretty,"

"Don't even," You groaned, not believing a single word that came from him. "You were so lucky Hotch didn't call you in after hours— or before.”

“I’m getting the sense that you’re angry with me,” There wasn’t an ounce of malice in his voice, facetiously regarding your angry look.

“I’m not angry, i’m jealous.” You explain, pouting your lips at him. “You have no idea how jealous I am of the fact that you've been lying in bed since eight,"

Although joking around, you didn’t fail to notice the traces of empathy lingering beneath his gaze. There wasn’t anything Spencer hated more than knowing you were exhausted. He let his hand linger around your face, tracing patterns on your jaw while you looked up at him with big tired eyes. "Jealous of me? Being able to lay in these mattresses?"

You let out a laugh. "How many of your muscles are cramped after last night?”

“Because of sleep or…?” He trailed, pursing his lips in thought. You groaned, placing your palm across his face to either smother him or prevent him from seeing how flustered you got. You were usually the one making vilgar jokes. It sat differently when Spencer did it, it made you more nervous.

“You’re so stupid,” He laughed underneath your palm and muttered out.

“Actually—“

“Don’t ‘actually’ me,”

Spencer’s teasing, even in your state of utter exhaustion, didn’t leave you cranky or annoyed. It never did, It always did the opposite. You became all mushy and soft when it came to Spencer and every gesture was laced in nothing more than absolute adoration.

He grew quiet as he let his thumb linger across your cheek, realizing the joke had died down. He gazed your face so lovingly, it almost hurt. You closed your eyes and basked in the comfort of his gaze.

You and Spencer had been dating for over a year now. The two of you met when you became part of the BAU not long after he had started. Your proximity in age had been the initial reason for a friendship, but then it started shifting into something beyond that and before you knew it, you started seeing him outside of work, weekends… The majority of your time was spent beside him.

You still recalled with humor how it took a while for him to make a move. It didn't take long for him to become your friend, not at all. But the second the two of you realized things were moving beyond a friendship, he forgot any notion of how to operate like a normal human being. You had found it extremely endearing realizing how much of an effect you had on him— you still did.

Slowly falling in love with each other was probably one of the most cathartic events of one another’s lives because it distinguished such a firm before and after.

Working in the FBI had always felt so loud and caotic, but ever since Spencer, the world became a little more quiet and a little less stressful.

Spencer leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your lips, savoring any and every second he could with you. You sighed happily into the kiss, realizing how all your muscles began melting into his touch.

You pulled away, pecking his lips two more times just for desperate measures.

"I missed you." He hummed, placing a small peck to your forehead before allowing his hands to travel down the side of your ribcage and onto your back.

You crooned lowly, letting your eyes flutter close as you let him trace small patterns onto your back with his fingertips. Your body erupted in a string of goosebumps, feeling nothing but overwhelming pleasure seep into every muscle and joint in your body. The jolts of electricity seeped through your spine. It made your heart flutter and swell, feeling how light his fingers danced across your skin and how gentle he was with you.

It had taken a lot for Spencer to open up to physical touch, so that being said, all these small gestures from him were all the more special.

You knew there was a side of him that loved being connected to you through any sort of physical contact, wether it be holding his hands, a kiss on the cheek, linking your arms together, saying hi in the morning with a hug or a soft peck. His insecurities in the beginning of the relationship prevented him from letting that side show.

With time and patience, and lots of reassurance on your side, physical contact with you began nearly as necessary as breathing to Spencer.

Spencer always enjoyed giving you back scratches. He loved how your body immediately fell into his when he dragged his fingers along your back. Like he could physically see the knots of stress unfold. He sometimes grabbed your arm to himself and traced patterns across while you were watching movies or when you woke up.

There won’t be a day he forgets to greet you at your desk before heading to his own, despite always trying to avoid being seen by Morgan, who’d typically tease him endlessly.

Nevertheless, he’d still always bend over your slouched position at your desk chair in the morning and say hi. He’ll let his hand linger on your back and trace repetitive circles. Even if it was just thirty seconds, your body responded incredibly well to his soft touches.

Spencer was extremely good at reading you, and he responded to your needs in a way no one else had ever managed. Seeing just how close to collapsing you had been when you got to the room, he desperately wanted to draw circles onto your back until you fell asleep.

And god, were his back scratches just what you needed.

Right now, with his hands trailing around your tired body and aching back, you could practically hear yourself purring. His hand travelled along your shirt, reaching the hem and peeking his hand underneath it in order to feel the smoothness of your skin— that and knowing you loved it even more.

When he felt your body deflate he chuckled softly to himself. You mumbled quietly, sighing contently. “Hmm,”

"Did you know that when someone cratches your back, your brain releases Serotonin?" He started. You looked up at him with a sleep induced smile as his hand continued traveling along your back.

"No, I did not."

"It's a neurotransmitter that promotes positive feelings. Our skin is abundant with sensory receptors which are called mechanoreceptors. When stimulated, specifically by human touch, they send signals to the brain which triggers pleasurable sensations. It's kind of like a light therapeutic touch, some people even call it scratch therapy." His hands traveled mindlessly, along with his words down at you.

"Its primary purpose is to enhance one's mood for the better since it mainly releases endorphins and serotonin, hormones that tend to fight off cortisol. It's also said to relieve muscle tension, since the repetitive motion stimulates the natural release of these mood-boosting hormones. Your muscles respond and alleviate all the discomfort and stiffness on their own."

"Most importantly, it mimics gestures of affection and care. This specific type of touch motivates a sense of connection which can foster trust and bonding. Most people turn to this form of therapy because of how soothing the sensation can be both mentally and physically." He expounded as you watched him with nothing more than complete awe.

Spencer rambling about anything and every topic you could bring up was your favorite thing about him,— other than his smile.

Unlike many people who knew him, you actually listened and soaked up every single word he said. Hell, you learned more with him in the past year than the first five years of your adulthood.

"So thats why you always scratch my back, huh?" You pointed a finger at him and he smiled.

"That and because I love you,"

"I love you— And when you go all wikipedia on me," You kissed the corner of his jaw and positioned yourself sound against his chest. One of his arms held you against his chest while the other continued its repetitive patters. "Don't you dare stop with this scratch therapy stuff, I was just starting to feel sleepy,”

He kissed the crown of your head as you rested . "Wasn’t planning on it.”

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sweet-as-an-angel · 2 years ago

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Miguel Having A Crush On You Would Include…

Warnings: Implications of Smut, Obsessive Miguel, Possessive Miguel, Implied Yandere Miguel, Miguel in Love, Vampire Marking, Marking (Kind Of), Fluff, Typical Crush Behaviour, Petnames/Nicknames, No Pronouns used for Reader Except ‘You’.

Him being absolutely OBSESSED with you.

Literally completely feral, down bad, infatuated, etc.

Initially, when he realised he’d started liking you in a romantic sense, he tried pushing you away; tried drowning his feelings in work, missions, Hell – even resolving petty spats between the Spiderpeople at the base. Anything to exorcise this rising feeling of butterflies in his chest whenever you were around. Vulnerability.

However, you were persistent.

You’d bring him lunch whenever you knew it would be a long day in the office for him, telling him that “Even the best superhero needs a sandwich every now and then!”

And by God were your sandwiches phenomenal.

Though he’d never admit it, his heart would skip a beat whenever the door to his office opened, knowing that it could be you paying him a visit with your delectable lunchables, or even just to check in on him. Make him feel special in ways nobody else had or could in years.

Eventually, this turned into a daily affair; one Miguel would watch the clock for, wait for. Long for.

Miguel also tried hiding his feelings when you brought him hand-crafted, love-filled desserts that he just couldn’t bring himself to ignore or throw away. Or, when Miles offered to take them off his hands, let anyone else have.

Eventually, there isn’t a day that goes by where you aren’t with him in some capacity. And it shows.

Whenever you’re late, even only by a few minutes, Miguel can feel his heart spike, asking Lyla where you are, if she can track you, etc.

“Sounds like you liiiike (Y/N)~” Lyla gives Miguel a knowing smile.

Miguel just grunts, ignores her. Though, he can feel the corners of his lips turning up, and hides them behind a well-placed hand, rubbing his temples.

Soft glances whenever you’re in the room, all his attention turning to you and you alone.

He just loves to stare at you. You’re so beautiful that he can’t understand why nobody else passing you has to stitch their dropped jaw back onto their face.

Then again, he is grateful. The fury that bubbles inside him whenever he catches someone glancing at you, gaze lustful, is all-consuming, enough to make his teeth grind, his eyes bleed a light rouge hue, piercing. He makes sure they’ll never cross paths with you again.

Gradually, your warmth and kindness thaws his walls, and, once the floodgates are open, neither you nor he can predict the dark ocean that is to flood your lives.

He doesn’t mean to throw himself full-force into his feelings, but after being so guarded for so long, he just can’t help it.

Becomes overly-concerned with every facet of your life. More so than he already was.

Constantly trying to find out information about you, though being stumped as to how to do so without arousing your suspicion.

Asks Lyla to track you, see what you’re doing, who you’re with, their relation to you.

However, she begins to deny Miguel such luxuries, telling him to “Grow a pair and ask (Y/N) yourself!”

When he realises Lyla is steadfast in her resolve, he does so. Reluctantly.

Though, once he starts, he finds it difficult to stop.

“Where are you going after work?”, “Are you going out tonight with anyone?”, “Who?”

Eventually, you just look up at him, seemingly oblivious to his growing desperation, and say: “Gosh, Miguel, you’re starting to sound like you’re my boyfriend or something!”

His heart stops. His throat dries and he just looks at you, eyes wide.

One second passes. Then two. Then–

“Oh– uh– yeah... I mean, not that that’s weird, right? Unless you think it is weird, then–”

Lyla has to step in and save him from himself, telling him he has ‘urgent business’ in one of the other wings of the facility.

His suit suddenly feels too tight and too hot beneath the collar whenever he has to speak with you alone.

And tight in…other places when his mind wanders to the more intimate aspects of your hypothetical relationship.

Miguel likes to rationalise this as him preparing how best to please you when the time, inevitably, comes for him to claim you, make you his. At least, this staves off the post-nut clarity (guilt) just a little longer when he’s pursuing a release, blasphemous images of you running through his mind.

A good example of this occurs almost nightly, with Miguel thoroughly loving a pillow clad in a shirt he’d lent you once, your scent still woven, though faded, into the fabric.

Many nights, his face is pressed to the cotton of that shirt, muffling his lips and his moans as his teeth sink into your temporary body, extending, marking, hand moving fervently beneath the bed sheets, your name the chant of many a spell of ardour.

You might mistake that red glow on his cheeks for the illumination of the console screens, but anyone who looks close enough knows better.

He loves showing you around the facility. Especially when your eyes light up and you remark how intelligent he is for “Doing this all on your own,”

Any compliment from you makes his heart thrum and his cheeks burn with the urge to smile. And, if it’s only you in his company, he does so.

Maybe even give you a nervous laugh.

You’re the only one he feels comfortable with showing emotion to.

He hopes that his displays aren’t lost on you; that you know him well enough to know that every smile, every laugh, is for you and you only.

And he is determined to, one day, make that smile of yours for him. And only him.

But, for now, he will content himself with daydreams and night ventures into territory not yet known, all the while possessing a seat beside you, being a shoulder for you to cry on, an ear into which you may pour your worries, a hero on whom you can always depend in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterpost

Yandere Masterlist Juicy Original Content <3

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leashybebes · 1 month ago

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🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 can we get the part where buck allies himself into sleeping with his bestie 👉👈

okay okay i have time before my meeting lol. just for you, here's some ridiculousness 💛💛

"No luck?"

"He said I was obviously here with someone and he wasn't interested in being a - a proxy in our weird psychosexual games."

"Huh. He sounds fun. Lucky escape, man. Weird psychosexual games sound like a great way to spend a Saturday night."

Tommy laughs like he can't help himself.

"Who did he think you were here with? Maybe there was someone checking you out, we could - "

"Really, Evan? I think he might have thought I was here with the guy who was grinding up on me for ten minutes before shoving me in his direction."

"Wait, me? Oh, shit! I totally cock blocked you, dude, I'm sorry!"

"Don't worry about it."

"No, c'mon. Find another guy, we'll get you sorted out. Or, uh." Evan can feel the pre-echo of what he's about to say rattling around in his head, and the three shots he's had isn't nearly enough of an excuse, but… "Or I could, uh. Help you out?"

"Uh - what?"

"Believe it or not, I do know how to handle a dick," Evan says, gesturing vaguely between his legs. "And I mean - an ass is an ass, right?"

Tommy's eyes are…a little fixated at where Evan had gestured. It's not not flattering.

"You're straight, Evan."

Evan shrugs. "Sure, but I also ruined your night by like - dry humping you on the dance floor so. Let me make it up to you?"

He's not quite sure why it feels so urgent to him that Tommy ends the night satisfied, but he's doing his best to be a good wingman and this just…saves them both a little effort, is all.

Tommy closes his eyes for a second. "I must be fucking crazy," he says under his breath. And then, in a more normal tone, "Sure. Okay."

#bucktommy #my writing #make me write #allying too close to the sun #and that gang is how you a straight guy have sex with your gay buddy and never once think it might have some bearing on your own sexuality

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wings-of-ink · 26 days ago

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Chapter 5 is finally here!

Tumblr crew, please let me know right away if you see any issues with running the game. I *think* I fixed the issue with fonts not changing but I did the upload a different way so I'm paranoid. It works for me though.

This was a big one – do not anticipate your saves working. Such is the nature of a work-in-progress. Some of the code for early chapters had to change. I do apologize, I know it's a lot of content to click through.

I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know if you find any serious problems/errors – especially ones that break the game. I have tested it myself a few times, but I can only do so much on my own. I will be watching Tumblr closely for a bit, so if there are any urgent issues you can pop them into my ask-inbox.

This chapter was written using a different method. Mostly, it worked out for me and helped me find more typos and grammar issues, but I found more programming errors than normal. My hope is that all the major ones have been resolved. A game-breaking issue was found just this morning and took a few hours to resolve (it was a mess so I redid the entire section - peeps, if you see issues in the moment with Zahn let me know because they were my troublemaker, go figure).

A couple of new trigger warnings were added as well, so be sure to peruse the list if you may have areas of sensitivity. In the future, a couple of areas of this chapter may receive options to bypass segments with certain difficult content, so be advised that these do not have a skip function enabled currently.

Coming in the future…

Lunan is taking a break through the end of the year! I will still be monitoring Tumblr, answering questions, and resolving any technical issues of course. But I will not be writing chapter content. Some short extras may be posted in the meantime to Tumblr.

Each chapter will get a passage-by-passage check for typos and grammar issues before the release of Chapter 6.

A chapter skip function will be arranged so you can bypass content you've already read. This will likely be implemented before or with Chapter 6.

The release time for Chapter 6 is currently unknown but estimated for late Spring of 2025 (March-May *ish).

The Patreon will likely start up in January 2025 and will focus on early releases of new content and extras/POVs (including the spicy kind).

Thank you so much for sticking with me. I hope you enjoy this chapter and have fun with it!

~Lunan ^_^

PS: Also let me know if you find weird stuff in there that might be from testing, lol. I think I deleted all that stuff, but I am more than a little bit frazzled today and there is a real possibility that I left some garbage behind...

Itch.io Link:

#god cursed if #asks #twine if #if wip #twine wip #interactive novel #if game #interactive fiction #cyoa #cyoa game #amare game #amare #I have earned my nap today #game update #chapter update

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 months ago

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How to have cancer

THIS WEEKEND (November 8-10), I'll be in TUCSON, AZ: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I've got cancer but it's probably (almost certainly, really) okay. Within a very short period I will no longer have cancer (at least for now). This is the best kind of cancer to have – the kind that is caught early and treated easily – but I've learned a few things on the way that I want to share with you.

Last spring, my wife put her arm around my waist and said, "Hey, what's this on your rib?" She's a lot more observant than I am, and honestly, when was the last time you palpated your back over your left floating rib? Sure enough, there was a lump there, a kind of squishy, fatty raised thing, half a centimeter wide and about four centimeters long.

I'm a 53 year old man with a family history of cancer. My father was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer at 55. So I called my doctor and asked for an appointment to have the lump checked over.

I'm signed up with Southern California Kaiser Permanente, which is as close as you come to the Canadian medicare system I grew up under and the NHS system I lived under for more than a decade. Broadly speaking, I really like KP. Its app – while terrible – isn't as terrible as the other apps, and they've taken very good care of me for both routine things like vaccinations and checkups, and serious stuff, like a double hip replacement.

Around the time of The Lump, I'd been assigned a new primary care physician – my old one retired – and so this was my first appointment with her. I used the KP app to book it, and I was offered appointments six weeks in the future. My new doc was busy! I booked the first slot.

This was my first mistake. I didn't need to wait to see my PCP to get my lump checked over. There was really only two things that my doc was gonna do, either prod it and say, "This is an extremely common whatchamacallit and you don't need to worry" or "You should go get this scanned by a radiologist." I didn't need a specific doctor to do this. I could have ridden my bike down to the KP-affiliated Urgent Care at our local Target store and gotten an immediate referral to radiology.

Six weeks go by, and my doc kind of rolls the weird lump between her fingers and says, "You'd better go see a radiologist." I called the Kaiser appointment line and booked it that day, and a couple weeks later I had a scan.

The next day, the app notified me that radiology report was available in my electronic heath record. It's mostly technical jargon ("Echogenic areas within mass suggest fatty component but atypical for a lipoma") but certain phrases leapt out at me: "malignant masses cannot be excluded. Follow up advised."

That I understood. I immediately left my doctor a note saying that I needed a biopsy referral and set back to wait. Two days went by. I left her a voice message. Another two days went by. I sent another email. Nothing, then a weekend, then more nothing.

I called Kaiser and asked to be switched to another Primary Care Physician. It was a totally painless and quick procedure and within an hour my new doc's intake staff had reviewed my chart, called me up, and referred me for a biopsy.

This was my second mistake. When my doctor didn't get back to me within a day, I should have called up KP and raised hell, demanding an immediate surgical referral.

What I did do was call Kaiser Member Services and file a grievance. I made it very clear that when I visited my doctor, I had been very happy with the care I received, but that she and her staff were clearly totally overloaded and needed some kind of administrative intervention so that their patients didn't end up in limbo.

This is a privilege. I'm a native English speaker, and although I was worried about a serious illness, I didn't have any serious symptoms. I had the ability and the stamina to force action in the system, and my doing so meant that other patients, not so well situated as I was, would not be stuck where I had been, with fewer resources to get un-stuck.

The surgeon who did the biopsy was great. He removed my mass. It was a gross lump of yellowy-red gunk in formaldehyde. He even let me photograph it before it went to pathology (warning, gross):

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/54038418981/

They told me that the pathology would take 2-5 days. I reloaded the "test results" tab in the KP website religiously after 48 hours. Nothing was updated. After five days, I called the surgical department (I had been given a direct number to reach them in case of postsurgical infections, and made a careful note of it).

It turned out that the pathology report had been in hand for three days at that point, but it was "preliminary" pending some DNA testing. Still, it was enough that the surgeon referred me to an oncologist.

This was my third mistake: I should have called after 48 hours and asked whether the pathology report was in hand, and if not, whether they could check with pathology. However, I did something very right this time: I got a phone number to reach the specialist directly, rather than going through the Kaiser main number.

My oncologist appointment was very reassuring. The oncologist explained the kind of cancer I had ("follicular lymphoma"), the initial prognosis (very positive, though it was weird that it manifested on my rib, so far from a lymph node) and what needed to happen next (a CT/PET scan). He also walked me through the best, worst and medium-cases for treatment, based on different scan outcomes. This was really good, as it helped me think through how I would manage upcoming events – book tours, a book deadline, work travel, our family Christmas vacation plans – based on these possibilities.

The oncologist gave me a number for Kaiser Nuclear Medicine. I called them from the parking lot before leaving the Kaiser hospital and left a message for the scheduler to call me back. Then I drove home.

This was my fourth mistake. The Kaiser hospital in LA is the main hub for Kaiser Southern California, and the Nuclear Medicine department was right there. I could have walked over and made an appointment in person.

Instead, I left messages daily for the next five days, waited a weekend, then called up my oncologist's staff and asked them to intervene. I also called Kaiser Member Services and filed an "urgent grievance" (just what it sounds like) and followed up by filing a complaint with the California Patient Advocate:

https://www.dmhc.ca.gov/

In both the complaint and the grievance, I made sure to note that the outgoing message at Nuclear Medicine scheduling was giving out false information (it said, "Sorry, all lines are busy," even at 2am!). Again, I was really careful to say that the action I was hoping for was both a prompt appointment for me (my oncologist had been very insistent upon this) but also that this was a very broken system that would be letting down every patient, not me, and it should be fixed.

Within a couple hours, I had a call back from KP grievances department, and an hour after that, I had an appointment for my scan. Unfortunately, that was three weeks away (so much for my oncologist's "immediate" order).

I had the scan last week, on Hallowe'en. It was really cool. The gadget was awesome, and the rad-techs were really experienced and glad to geek out with me about the way the scanner and the radioactive glucose they infused in me interacted. They even let me take pictures of the scan visualizations:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/54108481109/

The radiology report was incredibly efficient. Within a matter of hours, I was poring over it. I had an appointment to see the doc on November 5, but I had been reading up on the scans and I was pretty sure the news was good ("No enlarged or FDG avid lymph nodes are noted within the neck, chest, abdomen, or pelvis. No findings of FDG avid splenic or bone marrow involvement").

There was just one area of concern: "Moderate FDG uptake associated with a round 1.3 cm left inguinal lymph node." The radiologist advised the oncologist to "consider correlation with tissue sampling."

Today was my oncology appointment. For entirely separate reasons, I was unable to travel to the hospital today: I wrenched my back over the weekend and yesterday morning, it was so bad that I couldn't even scratch my nose without triggering unbearable spams. After spending all day yesterday in the ER (after being lifted out of my house on a stretcher), getting MRIs and pain meds, I'm much better off, though still unable to get out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time.

So this morning at 8:30 sharp, I started calling the oncology department and appointment services to get that appointment changed over to a virtual visit. While I spent an hour trying various non-working phone numbers and unsuccessfully trying to get Kaiser appointment services to reach my oncologist, I tried to message him through the KP app. It turns out that because he is a visiting fellow and not staff, this wasn't possible.

I eventually got through to the oncology department and had the appointment switched over. The oncology nurse told me that they've been trying for months to get KP to fix the bug where fellows can't be messaged by patients. So as soon as I got off the phone with her, I called member services and filed another grievance. Why bother, if I'd gotten what I needed? Same logic as before: if you have the stamina and skills to demand a fix to a broken system, you have a duty to use them.

I got off the phone with my oncologist about an hour ago. It went fine. I'm going to get a needle biopsy on that one suss node. If it comes back positive, I'll get a few very local, very low-powered radiation therapy interventions, whose worst side effect will be "a mild sunburn over a very small area." If it's negative, we're done, but I'll get quarterly CT/PET scans to be on the safe side.

Before I got off the phone, I made sure to get the name of the department where the needle biopsy would be performed and a phone number. The order for the biopsy just posted to my health record, and now I'm redialing the department to book in that appointment (I'm not waiting around for them to call me).

While I redial, a few more lessons from my experience. First, who do you tell? I told my wife and my parents, because I didn't want to go through a multi-week period of serious anxiety all on my own. Here, too, I made a mistake: I neglected to ask them not to tell anyone else. The word spread a little before I put a lid on things. I wanted to keep the circle of people who knew this was going on small, until I knew what was what. There's no point in worrying other people, of course, and my own worry wasn't going to be helped by having to repeat, "Well, it looks pretty good, but we won't know until I've had a scan/my appointment/etc."

Next, how to manage the process: this is a complex, multi-stage process. It began with a physician appointment, then a radiologist, then a pathology report, then surgery, then another pathology report, then an oncologist, then a scan, then another radiologist, and finally, the oncologist again.

That's a lot of path-dependent, interdepartmental stuff, with a lot of ways that things can fall off the rails (when my dad had cancer at my age, there was a big gap in care when one hospital lost a fax from another hospital department and my folks assumed that if they hadn't heard back, everything was fine).

So I have been making extensive use of a suspense file, where I record what I'm waiting for, who is supposed to provide it, and when it is due. Though I had several places where my care continuity crumbled some, there would have been far more if I hadn't done this:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/26/one-weird-trick/#todo

The title of this piece is "how to have cancer," but what it really boils down to is, "things I learned from my own cancer." As I've noted, I'm playing this one on the easiest setting: I have no symptoms, I speak and write English fluently, I am computer literate and reasonably capable of parsing medical/technical jargon. I have excellent insurance.

If any of these advantages hadn't been there, things would have been a lot harder. I'd have needed these lessons even more.

To recap them:

See a frontline care worker as soon as possible: don't wait for an appointment with a specific MD. Practically any health worker can prod a lump and refer you for further testing;

Get a direct phone number for every specialist you are referred to (add this to your phone book); call them immediately after the referral to get scheduled (better yet, walk over to their offices and schedule the appointment in person);

Get a timeframe as to when your results are due and when you can expect to get a follow-up; call the direct number as soon as the due-date comes (use calendar reminders for this);

If you can't get a call back, an appointment, or a test result in a reasonable amount of time (use a suspense file to track this), lodge a formal complaint with your insurer/facility, and consider filing with the state regulator;

Think hard about who you're going to tell, and when, and talk over your own wishes about who they can tell, and when.

As you might imagine, I've spent some time talking to my parents today as these welcome results have come in. My mother is (mostly) retired now, and she's doing a lot of volunteer work on end-of-life care. She recommends a book called Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest: 7 Keys for Navigating a Life-Changing Diagnosis:

https://pagetwo.com/book/hope-for-the-best-plan-for-the-rest/

I haven't read it, but it looks like it's got excellent advice, especially for people who lack the self-advocacy capabilities and circumstances I'm privileged with. According to my mom, who uses it in workshops, there's a lot of emphasis on the role that families and friends can play in helping someone whose physical, mental and/or emotional health are compromised.

So, that's it. I've got cancer. No cancer is good. This cancer is better than most. I am almost certainly fine. Every medical professional I've dealt with, and all the administrative support staff at Kaiser, have been excellent. Even the doc who dropped the ball on my biopsy was really good to deal with – she was just clearly drowning in work. The problems I had are with the system, not the people. I'm profoundly grateful to all of them for the help they gave me, the interest and compassion they showed, and the clarity and respect they demonstrated in my dealings with them.

I'm also very grateful to my wife, my parents, and my boss at EFF, all of whom got the news early and demonstrated patience, love, and support that helped in my own dark hours over the past couple of months.

I hope you're well. But you know, everyone gets something, eventually. When you find yourself mired in a broken system full of good people, work the system – for yourself and for the people who come behind you. Take records. Make calls.

Look after yourself.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/05/carcinoma-angels/#squeaky-nail

#cancer #medicare for all #m4a #health #socialism or barbarism #oncology #kaiser #kaiser permanente #kp

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rafeskai · 8 days ago

Text

Starstruck | Drew Starkey

Chapter Three

Summary: In the bustling crowd of a premiere event for Outer Banks, you find yourself caught up in a chaotic moment, lost in the sea of fans. Desperate for a way out, you stumble into an alley where fate leads you to an unexpected—and painful—encounter with Drew Starkey. What starts as a simple misstep soon spirals into something far more complicated, and your life takes an unexpected turn.

Pairings: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Author's Note: SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE OMG. HERE'S A LONG CHAPTER FOR Y'ALL.

Masterlist Here

The faint buzz of your phone woke you before the sun had fully risen. Groggily, you reached for it, expecting some random notification or perhaps an email that could wait. But as you squinted at the screen, Ava’s name popped up, her message in all caps: “CHECK TMZ NOW.”

You rubbed your eyes and mumbled, “What?” It was too early for any kind of drama, but Ava rarely texted in all caps unless it was something urgent—or, more likely, celebrity gossip. Your curiosity finally nudged you to open your browser and type in the site’s name.

The headline on TMZ’s homepage made your stomach drop:

“DREW STARKEY SPOTTED WITH MYSTERIOUS WOMAN”

Your breath hitched as you clicked on the article. There it was: a grainy photo of Drew and you, blurry but unmistakably you. Your heart pounded in your chest. The mask you’d been wearing at the bar covered most of your face, and the dim lighting made it difficult to make out any details. But the white tank top, courtesy of Ava’s insistent styling, was unmistakable.

The article buzzed with speculation.

“Who’s the masked woman spotted with Drew Starkey last night? The Outer Banks star was seen leaving an intimate LA hotspot with an unidentified companion. Sources say the two appeared comfortable and spent several hours together inside the bar. Could this be Drew’s latest flame? Or just a casual night out? Our team are on the case!”

Your stomach churned. You scrolled through the comments section.

“Another mysterious nobody who’ll ghost him in two weeks, I bet.”

“Imagine being her. I’d die to just breathe the same air as Drew Starkey.”

“The way she’s covering her face... suspicious much?”

“She’s definitely hiding something. Maybe she’s married?”

A few deep breaths later, you set your phone down, but the sense of dread didn’t leave. Before you could even collect your thoughts, Ava burst into your room, her messy hair looking like a halo of chaos.

“Y/N!” she squeaked, waving her phone around frantically. “You’re famous.”

You groaned, falling back onto the futon. “No, I’m not. No one even knows it’s me.”

“They will,” Ava said with way too much enthusiasm. “TMZ doesn’t just let this go. They’ll start connecting the dots—who was at the premiere, who’s wearing that outfit in public, and eventually, they’ll figure it out. It’s only a matter of time.”

You ran your hands through your hair. “I’m never wearing that outfit again.”

Ava ignored you, pacing back and forth. “Look, we have two options. One: deny everything, keep your head down, and hope the internet finds someone else to obsess over. Or two: lean into it. You’re the enigmatic mystery woman. Milk it for all it’s worth.”

You shot her a flat look. “Option two isn’t happening.”

“Fine, fine,” Ava said with a dramatic sigh, flopping onto the futon next to you. “But come on! You have to admit, it’s kind of cool. You’re the first non-celebrity girl to pop up in Drew Starkey’s dating rumors without getting immediately torn apart. That means something.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, rubbing your temples, “it means I have to be extra careful. I don’t want my life blasted all over the internet.”

“Don’t worry,” Ava reassured you, her hand resting gently on your shoulder. “We’ll figure it out. And honestly? If Drew’s as decent as he seemed, he won’t let this get weird.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Later that afternoon, as you sat in the corner of your room, your phone buzzed again. This time, the name on the screen made your heart skip: Drew.

Drew: “Hey, you good? Saw the TMZ thing. Sorry if this is overwhelming. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

You stared at his message for a moment, a mix of relief and panic flooding you. You could feel the weight of the situation pressing down. Part of you wanted to brush it off, pretend it wasn’t a big deal. But another part of you—the one that was still a little overwhelmed by the chaos—was grateful for his words of concern.

You: “I’m fine. Just... not used to this. Do you deal with this kind of thing a lot?”

Drew: “More than I’d like, yeah. But it usually blows over fast. People move on to the next headline. If you need me to talk to PR or anything, I can.”

You winced at the thought of involving PR—public statements, press releases—it all felt too formal, too... invasive.

You: “I don’t think it’s necessary. As long as they don’t figure out it’s me, I’ll survive.”

There was a pause before Drew’s response came through.

Drew: “If it helps, you’re handling this way better than I did the first time TMZ came for me. If you need to vent or just want a distraction, hit me up.”

His offer to just talk made you smile. You weren’t entirely sure what to say back, so you typed a quick reply, thanking him for the message, and then set your phone down.

As the day wore on, things quieted down. TMZ didn’t update the story, and the internet’s attention began to shift. Without a clear shot of your face or any definitive details about your identity, people started to lose interest. But that didn’t mean it was over for you.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The day crawled forward, each passing hour a mix of relief and unease. It seemed TMZ's interest in Drew’s “mystery woman” had dwindled without a fresh lead to stoke the flames. By early evening, the frenzy online was noticeably quieter.

Still, the tension in the air lingered, like a storm that had passed but left the skies unsettled.

Ava had mercifully stopped treating the situation like a red-carpet event. She sat cross-legged on the living room floor, scrolling aimlessly through her phone while munching on a bag of popcorn. You paced nearby, trying to shake off the knot of nerves in your stomach.

Then your phone buzzed. It was Drew again.

Drew: “Can I come over for a bit? Just got done with a photoshoot and paparazzi are everywhere outside my place, and I need to lay low for a while.”

Your heart leapt at the thought of him showing up at your apartment—your quiet, nondescript little corner of the city suddenly becoming a refuge for Drew Starkey. You glanced at Ava, who raised an eyebrow as she noticed your sudden stillness.

You: “Yeah, sure. How are you going to get here without being seen?”

Drew: “I’ll figure it out. I know a back way in. Just text me your address.”

You hesitated for a moment, then sent the details. It wasn’t long before he replied.

Drew: “Be there in 15. Thanks, by the way.”

The next 15 minutes passed in a blur. You hurriedly cleared the living room of any clutter, your nerves bubbling into a chaotic energy. Ava, meanwhile, perched on the couch with a dazed grin, clearly trying to play it cool but failing miserably.

When the soft knock finally came at the door, your pulse quickened. Ava bolted upright, her excitement palpable. “This is it,” she whispered, clutching the couch cushion like it was the only thing keeping her grounded.

You opened the door, and there he was—Drew, in a plain hoodie and baseball cap, looking like any regular guy. He offered a small smile, his eyes scanning the hallway before stepping inside.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Thanks for this.”

“No problem,” you replied, closing the door behind him. “Figured you could use some peace.”

Ava, standing awkwardly by the couch, let out a shaky laugh. “Hi. Um. Wow. Hi.”

Drew chuckled, clearly used to this reaction but handling it with grace. “Hey. You must be Ava.”

She nodded rapidly, then promptly sat back down, her face bright red. Drew turned to you, his smile warm but tired. “I hope I’m not imposing.”

“Not at all,” you said, motioning for him to sit. “Make yourself at home.”

As he settled onto the couch, Ava finally seemed to snap out of her starstruck trance—at least a little. “Do you need anything? Water? Snacks? I have... popcorn?” she offered, holding up the bag as if it were a peace offering.

Drew smiled. “Popcorn sounds great, actually.”

Ava handed over the bag, then promptly excused herself to the kitchen under the guise of making tea, though you suspected she just needed a moment to compose herself. That left you and Drew alone in the living room.

“So,” he said, leaning back slightly. “How’s your day been? Any more chaos?”

You laughed softly. “Thankfully, no. The internet seems to be moving on. I think we’re in the clear.”

“That’s good,” he said, popping a kernel of popcorn into his mouth. “I feel bad for dragging you into this.”

“It’s not your fault,” you said, sitting down on the armchair across from him. “It’s not like you invited TMZ to follow you.”

He gave a wry smile. “Still, I appreciate you being so cool about it. Most people would be freaking out.”

“I think Ava freaked out enough for both of us,” you joked, glancing toward the kitchen. Drew laughed, the sound light and genuine, and you couldn’t help but feel the tension in the room ease.

Over the next hour, the conversation flowed surprisingly easily. Drew talked about his hectic schedule, his favorite low-key spots in LA, and a few funny on-set stories that had you laughing until your sides hurt. Ava eventually returned, having calmed down enough to join in without squealing every time Drew spoke.

As the evening wore on, the initial awkwardness faded entirely. Drew’s presence felt natural—like he belonged there, sitting on your couch, sharing popcorn and swapping stories. It was almost too easy to forget who he was, how absurd this situation really was.

At one point, Ava let out a dramatic yawn and stretched. “I’m gonna call it a night,” she said, giving you a not-so-subtle wink before retreating to her room.

That left you and Drew alone again, the apartment quiet except for the faint hum of the city outside. He leaned back against the couch, his gaze soft as he looked at you.

“Thanks again for letting me crash here,” he said. “I really needed a break from... all of it.”

You smiled. “Anytime. Seriously. It’s nice having company.”

He held your gaze for a moment, and you felt a flutter of something unspoken pass between you. Then he grinned, breaking the moment. “Well, if TMZ ever finds out about this, at least I’ll have a great story to tell.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The evening stretched on, a slow dance of easy conversation and laughter. It felt surreal—Drew Starkey, the star of Outer Banks and Queer, sitting in your living room, eating popcorn and talking about his favorite movies like any regular person. But the longer he stayed, the more normal everything felt. He wasn’t a celebrity in this space. He was just Drew, the guy sitting across from you, making you laugh and sharing little bits of his world.

Ava had retreated to her room after her not-so-subtle hint about bedtime, leaving you and Drew alone in the living room. You didn’t mind—it gave you the space to talk without interruptions, to get to know each other a little more.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Drew said after a pause, setting the popcorn down on the coffee table and shifting slightly on the couch. “What do you do when you’re not dealing with... all of this?”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little at the way he gestured vaguely around the room “Nothing nearly as exciting as your life, that’s for sure.”

He smiled, his eyes softening. “I’m sure that’s not true, although it’s definitely a different world, being in the spotlight like this.” He paused for a moment, his tone thoughtful. “I think people forget that celebrities are just people, you know?”

“I think people forget that about anyone, really,” you said with a shrug. “Everyone’s got their own thing going on. Whether you’re famous or not, it’s all the same. We all have our struggles, our ups and downs.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, nodding. “I think that’s what I miss most sometimes. Just... being able to go out without feeling like everyone’s watching, analyzing your every move.”

You looked at him, the weight of his words sinking in. You hadn’t really considered how strange it must be to live under that kind of constant scrutiny. You found yourself wanting to offer him something more than just sympathy. “You don’t have to be ‘Drew Starkey’ tonight,” you said gently. “You’re just... Drew. And I’m just me. No TMZ, no cameras, no headlines.”

His smile returned, a little softer this time. “I like that. I really like that.”

The conversation drifted effortlessly from one topic to another. You talked about favorite childhood memories, your go-to comfort foods, and the last book you’d both read. He listened with an openness that made you feel like you could share just about anything, and the more you spoke, the more at ease you became.

Drew revealed little snippets about his life that were both surprising and comforting. Like how he had a weird obsession with vintage comic books or how, despite being a well-known actor, he still had the same group of friends he’d had since high school. You learned he was surprisingly humble, almost self-deprecating at times, and he had this way of laughing at himself that made him even more relatable.

“You ever go to concerts?” you asked after a moment, trying to steer the conversation toward something lighter.

He grinned, his eyes lighting up. “Oh, I love concerts. I try to hit up a few whenever I can. Nothing like live music, right?”

“Right,” you agreed, smiling back. “There’s just something about the energy in the air. It’s like everyone’s in the same vibe.”

“I’m a sucker for the energy,” Drew said with a nod. “What’s your favorite genre? Or are you more of a ‘whatever’s on’ type?”

“Definitely more of a whatever’s on type,” you said, laughing. “I like a little bit of everything. But I do have a soft spot for indie rock. You?”

“Indie rock, too,” he said without hesitation. “I swear, I could spend hours listening to bands you’ve never heard of and not even care.”

“That’s the best part, though. The discovery,” you said. “I love finding those hidden gems. The stuff that feels like it’s just yours.”

“I totally get that,” Drew agreed, and there was something about the way he said it—like he really meant it—that made you smile. It was nice, sharing something like that with someone, especially someone you’d barely known just a few hours ago.

As the night wore on, the conversation became less about anything significant and more about just... being. The silence that fell between you wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that happens when you’re with someone you trust, someone you don’t feel the need to fill every moment with words.

You glanced over at the clock on the wall and realized it was past midnight. You yawned, your body starting to feel the effects of the long, unexpected day.

“I think I’m about ready for bed,” you said, stretching a little.

Drew chuckled. “Yeah, me too. It’s been a long day.”

“Thanks for hanging out,” you added, not sure if it sounded too casual, but it felt right. “It’s been nice—just, you know, talking and not worrying about anything.”

Drew smiled, his expression sincere. “Yeah, it’s been nice. Really nice. I’m glad I could... hide out here for a while.”

You grinned. “Anytime.”

He stood up from the couch, stretching his legs. “Well, I guess I should let you get some rest. You’ve probably had enough of me by now.”

“Not at all,” you said, standing as well. “But I think I’m gonna crash before I regret it.”

“Fair enough,” Drew said, his voice warm. “Sleep well, Y/N.”

“You too, Drew. And thanks, again,” you said quietly.

With a final smile, Drew grabbed his hoodie and headed toward the door, turning back for one last glance.

“Goodnight,” he said, before stepping out into the night, leaving you standing there, a feeling of warmth spreading through you.

As you made your way back to your room, you realized just how much you’d enjoyed the unexpected company, the quiet conversation, the sense of connection with someone who, for a few hours, was just like you. No drama, no paparazzi—just two people talking about life.

You crawled into bed, your thoughts swirling with everything that had happened, the night’s laughter still echoing softly in your mind. And for the first time that day, you felt... peaceful.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The next morning, you woke up to a quiet, almost peaceful stillness. The events of the previous day felt like a dream—Drew in your living room, hanging out like any other person, sharing stories and laughter. The time spent with him had left you feeling light, surprisingly at ease considering everything that had happened. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d spent an entire night without feeling the weight of your worries, the world of social media, or the endless noise in your head.

You sat up, stretching, and reached for your phone. The screen lit up with a message from Drew.

Drew: "Hey, hope you slept well. I know we just met, but I was wondering if you’d be up for an adventure today. I’ve got a couple days left in LA before work picks back up, and I could use a break from the usual."

Your heart skipped a beat. An adventure? Just the two of you? The idea was tempting, and, honestly, you hadn’t expected him to reach out so soon after everything that had happened. But there was something about his message that felt... genuine. Like he just wanted to spend time with you, not because of the headlines or the drama, but because you’d connected.

You chewed on your lip for a moment, debating the logistics. It was sudden, but at the same time, it felt like a chance to break away from the chaos, to have a normal, carefree day. Maybe that’s exactly what you needed.

You typed back quickly, the excitement creeping in.

You: "I’m in. What do you have in mind?"

A few minutes later, his reply came through, and you couldn’t help but grin.

Drew: "Perfect. How about we start with a hike? I’ve heard this great spot in the hills with a killer view of the city. We can grab breakfast after and see where the day takes us. No paparazzi, no drama—just a chance to be outside for a bit."

You could almost hear his grin through the text, and you found yourself feeling a little giddy. It had been forever since you’d just wandered, no plans, no expectations.

You: "That sounds perfect. What time do you want to meet?"

Drew: "How about 9? Gives us a little time to get our bearings, but still plenty of daylight. I’ll pick you up at your place."

You: "Deal. I’ll be ready."

The exchange left you buzzing with excitement. There was something about this—a spontaneous day with Drew, exploring LA without the pressure of anything. Just... living in the moment.

You quickly jumped out of bed, got dressed, and packed a small bag with the essentials: water, sunscreen, a hat—anything that would make the day more enjoyable. As you glanced in the mirror, you couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious. It was one thing to hang out with Drew at your place, but hiking? A day out in the open? You weren’t sure what to expect, but you figured you’d roll with it.

A few hours later, the knock on your door jolted you from your thoughts. You opened it to find Drew standing there, dressed casually in a t-shirt, athletic shorts, and sneakers, his hair slightly windblown as if he’d already been out for a little while. He was holding a water bottle in one hand, a wide, genuine smile on his face.

“You ready for this?” he asked, his eyes glinting with the same excitement you felt bubbling inside.

You grinned back, nodding. “I think so. Lead the way.”

He chuckled and gestured for you to follow him down to the car, where the day’s adventure would begin.

The drive was surprisingly calm, with Drew playing some laid-back tunes and chatting about random things—his love of LA's hidden gems, how he’d gotten into hiking recently, and how crazy it was that he was actually getting a few days to relax between filming schedules. You felt yourself easing into the rhythm of the day, his presence comfortable, easy.

As you reached the trailhead, you couldn’t help but stare at the sprawling view of the city below, the sprawling landscape unfolding in front of you like something out of a postcard. The hills were quiet, a peaceful escape from the noise of LA.

Drew turned to you with a playful grin. “Ready to get your steps in?”

You raised an eyebrow, matching his grin. “I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

And so, the two of you set off, the trail winding upward through trees and rocky paths, the air crisp with morning freshness. The conversation flowed easily between you both, sometimes serious, sometimes silly. You talked about your favorite movies, shared memories of childhood adventures, and joked about the ridiculousness of modern-day life, social media, and the constant pressure to perform.

The higher you climbed, the more the city seemed to disappear, swallowed by the dense trees and distant mountains. You took breaks along the way, sitting on rocks and chatting, letting the quiet calm of nature seep into your bones. There was something so refreshing about being away from it all, away from the spotlight and the noise, and just sharing these small, human moments.

After a few hours, you finally reached the summit. The view was nothing short of breathtaking. You could see the entire city sprawled out below you, the glittering skyline on one side, the ocean stretching off into the horizon on the other. Drew sat down on a large rock, motioning for you to join him.

You settled next to him, the moment stretching out peacefully between you. Drew glanced over at you, his gaze soft and contemplative.

“You’re quiet all of a sudden,” he teased lightly.

You shrugged, letting the view speak for itself. “It’s just... a nice change of pace. Everything feels so loud sometimes, especially in LA, you know? But up here, it’s just... quiet.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Drew said, his voice quieter now, a touch more serious. “It’s nice to get away from everything, even if it’s just for a few hours. No expectations, no noise. Just... living.”

You smiled, your heart feeling lighter than it had in days. It felt like this was exactly what you needed—a simple day of adventure, of discovering new places and enjoying the company of someone who wasn’t focused on all the distractions of the world.

After a long while, you both stood up and started the trek back down the trail, still laughing and joking, your connection growing deeper with every passing moment.

When you reached the car, Drew turned to you, a mischievous glint in his eye. “So, breakfast time?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve never earned a meal so much in my life.”

“Great,” Drew said with a wink. “Let’s go get some pancakes.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The drive to the diner was easy, the calm of the road soothing your nerves. Drew didn’t put on any music this time, letting the hum of the tires on the pavement fill the air as you both enjoyed the simple comfort of the drive. It felt grounding to be out of the whirlwind, just the two of you cruising through LA, away from everything else. No flashing lights, no rumors. Just a quiet moment.

When you arrived at the diner, it was an unassuming little place on a corner, a slice of nostalgia with its neon sign flickering invitingly. The retro décor inside felt like stepping into another time, and you immediately felt at ease in the warm, cozy atmosphere. Drew led the way, holding the door open for you with a smile that made everything feel effortless.

“Welcome to the best pancake spot in LA,” he said with a grin. “Trust me, they know what they’re doing here.”

You smiled, following him inside, and the waitress greeted you both with a friendly nod before leading you to a booth by the window. It wasn’t crowded, and the faint murmur of conversations filled the background as you both settled into your seats. It was the kind of place where you could be left alone to enjoy your meal, and the thought of it made you feel even more relaxed.

The waitress handed you both menus, and Drew glanced at his for a moment before looking up at you. “So, you’ve been in LA for what, a couple of days now?” he asked, his eyes bright with curiosity. “How’s it been? Adjusting from your small town?”

You hesitated for just a moment, taking in his question. It felt strange to admit just how big the change had been. In your small hometown, everything was familiar, comfortable, but LA was… overwhelming, in a good way, mostly. You had come here for something new, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a challenge.

“It’s been… different,” you said, shrugging slightly. “I mean, I grew up in a town where everyone knew everyone. You can’t walk into a store without running into half the people you know. LA’s kind of the opposite—huge, anonymous. It’s been nice, but also a little isolating. That’s why I’ve been trying to make sure I don’t get stuck in my own head too much. I’ve been trying to actually explore, you know? Get out and see the city.”

Drew nodded, his gaze steady, like he was really listening. “Yeah, I get that. LA can swallow you up if you let it. But it’s all about finding your rhythm. I think that’s why I love getting out of the city sometimes, doing stuff that reminds me what life’s like beyond the buzz.”

You smiled, feeling like you could connect with that more than you expected. “Exactly. It’s easy to forget there’s more to life than all this. I’m still figuring out how to balance it all.”

“That’s the thing with LA,” Drew said with a half-smile. “Everyone thinks you’re supposed to be constantly on the go, constantly working. But sometimes the best days are the ones where you’re just… present.”

His words made you pause, and you felt like the weight of the conversation wasn’t just passing by—it was something real. For someone who had so much of the world watching him, Drew seemed to get it, more than you expected. He was speaking to something you’d been trying to figure out since you’d gotten here: what life could look like outside the noise.

Before you could respond, the waitress returned, and you both ordered your meals, Drew sticking with his usual blueberry pancakes and you opting for a classic stack of buttermilks with a side of crispy bacon. The conversation drifted for a moment into lighter territory—favorite foods, places to visit in LA—but you felt the undercurrent of a real connection building between you.

As the waitress set down your pancakes, the sun had already climbed higher in the sky. You dug in, savoring the warmth and comfort of the food. It wasn’t just the pancakes you were enjoying—it was the feeling of normalcy, the feeling of being with someone who made you forget all the distractions.

“So,” Drew said between bites, “I remember you telling me that you came out here for a change. What was it like before? Your small town, I mean.”

You glanced at him, taken a little off guard by the question. You hadn’t really talked about your past in detail, and you weren’t sure how much to share. But Drew seemed genuinely curious, and something about the way he asked made it easier to open up.

“It was a lot quieter,” you said, your voice soft as you thought about your hometown. “A lot of people stick to the same routine, year after year. It wasn’t bad, but I knew it wasn’t the life I wanted. I needed something… bigger, I guess. Something where I could challenge myself. I didn’t want to wake up in ten years and feel like I hadn’t tried.”

Drew’s eyes softened with understanding. “Yeah. I get that. LA’s definitely a place that pushes you out of your comfort zone. I think that’s what I like about it, too—if you’re brave enough, it’ll make you grow.”

You nodded, feeling the truth of his words sink in. “I guess I’m just figuring out what that looks like.”

“I think that’s the beauty of it,” Drew said. “You don’t have to have it all figured out. The point is just… living it, you know?”

His words hit home in a way you hadn’t expected. Maybe it was the sincerity in his voice or the ease with which he spoke, but you felt like you were hearing something important. Maybe it wasn’t about having everything lined up or planned out. Maybe it was more about being open to the journey.

You smiled, realizing that being here, right now, with Drew, was a part of that journey.

After finishing your pancakes, Drew leaned back in his booth, looking satisfied. “So, what’s next? I know you’ve probably seen all the tourist stuff by now, but I’m thinking we hit some places that aren’t on the usual list. You up for an adventure?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the thought. You had only just started getting to know LA, and the idea of seeing it through someone else’s eyes—someone who had lived here long enough to know the best hidden gems—sounded perfect.

“Adventure sounds great,” you said with a grin. “What do you have in mind?”

Drew grinned back, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “You’ll see. Let’s go.”

And just like that, you were back on the road, ready for whatever Drew had planned. You didn’t know what the day would hold, but you were more than ready to find out. The city, with all its chaos and beauty, didn’t feel so overwhelming anymore. Not when you had someone by your side who understood what it meant to be in search of something more.

��⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

As you and Drew cruised through the winding streets toward the beach, the excitement you felt earlier in the day had started to shift. There was a sense of unease building in the pit of your stomach, and you couldn’t put your finger on why. You’d spent the morning laughing, talking about your favorite places in the city, and getting to know each other more. But as the car neared the coast, something began to feel off.

Drew was in high spirits, excited about showing you something he loved. But just as you started to relax again, you noticed something—you hadn’t seen a single paparazzi yet. For a moment, you told yourself it was just coincidence. LA wasn’t that small, right?

Then, the first click of a camera caught your ear.

You froze, eyes darting toward the rearview mirror. Drew, blissfully unaware, was focused on the road, humming lightly to the music. But you could see them now—two cars trailing a little too closely. Paparazzi.

Your stomach dropped, and before you could say anything, Drew swore under his breath, his expression darkening.

“Shit,” he muttered, hands tightening on the wheel. “Of course, they found us.”

You started to speak, but Drew was already acting. He began weaving through traffic, trying to shake them off, but the paparazzi followed relentlessly. You felt yourself growing more anxious with each passing second, the buzz of the chase creeping into your nerves.

“This is ridiculous,” you said, glancing over at him, trying to make light of the situation. “We were just going to the beach.”

Drew’s eyes flickered toward you, but it wasn’t the same relaxed, playful Drew from earlier. He looked frustrated, panicked almost. “Yeah, well, this is what happens when you’re seen with someone like me.”

The words hit you harder than you expected, the weight of them sinking deep into your chest. You blinked, processing. “What do you mean, someone like you?”

Drew shook his head, his jaw tight. “I mean, me—a celebrity. People want to know every little thing about me. And now I have to deal with it because I invited you along. People are going to start thinking you're just another hanger-on, someone who wants to use me for the attention.”

His voice wasn’t cruel, but the implication stung all the same. It felt like he’d just dismissed everything about you—everything you were. As if your presence wasn’t your own choice but something tied to his fame, and he didn’t even see how that could hurt. You could feel the heat rise in your chest, the hurt twisting in your gut.

You opened your mouth to respond but stopped yourself. What could you say? You weren’t sure if you were hurt more by the words themselves or by the way they seemed to come so naturally to him. It felt like you were an accessory to his life, just something he had to keep in line to avoid drama. And yet, you hadn’t asked for any of this.

Before you could process it any further, Drew pulled into an alley near a side street, his car screeching to a halt as he scrambled to hide. He turned to you quickly, his eyes frantic. “Put this on.” He reached into the back seat and threw a dark hoodie at you.

“What’s this?” you asked, holding it up.

“A disguise,” he said, voice clipped. “Just do it, okay? I need you to look like someone else right now.”

You stared at the hoodie in your hands, a sinking feeling growing inside you. He was treating this like a game, like you were just a prop to be hidden away. You didn’t have time to argue, though—he was already turning the car around, trying to make his escape.

Your fingers fumbled with the hoodie as you quickly pulled it over your head, the oversized fabric swallowing you. Your mind was spinning, and you couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling gnawing at you. The way he’d talked to you, the way he was treating you—it felt like he was just seeing you as a part of his world, not you. And that hurt more than anything else.

“We can switch cars with Ava.” You offered. Within minutes, you were back at Ava’s apartment, and Drew was practically dragging you inside, his eyes scanning the street as if expecting a mob to pop up at any moment. He rushed you into the apartment, clearly panicked, and you could tell his nerves were getting the better of him.

“We need to go. We can’t stay here,” he said urgently, tossing a bag into the back of Ava’s almost-broken-down car. He had barely taken a second to notice the difference in the car’s condition before he threw the keys into your hands.

You didn’t protest—this was his world, after all. You just followed him, your stomach twisting, feeling more like an afterthought in his plans. The more you saw of this side of Drew, the more you realized that it wasn’t just the paparazzi that were a problem—it was the way he expected you to just fit into it, without a word.

The car started, and Drew floored it as he raced toward the mountains, hoping to escape the frenzy for a while. The roads became more winding, the city skyline fading behind you. But the paparazzi didn’t give up so easily, and just when you thought you were free, you saw the familiar outline of the cars in the rearview mirror.

You sighed. “They’re still following us.”

Drew’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel. “This is ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath. “They can’t leave us alone for five minutes.”

In an effort to lose them, Drew took a sharp turn onto a stray road, one that seemed to go deeper into the mountains. The road grew narrower, the trees thicker, but the paparazzi stayed right behind. You felt your patience wearing thin, and as the car started to slow, Drew cursed again.

“We’re lost, aren’t we?” you said dryly, looking out the window at the dense trees that surrounded you.

“I’m just trying to shake them,” Drew replied, trying to hide the frustration in his voice, but you could hear it clearly.

A moment later, the car sputtered and came to a stop.

Drew swore again, banging his hands on the steering wheel. “Shit! We’re stuck.”

You groaned, leaning back in your seat, the weight of everything crashing down on you. “Are you kidding me? We’re stuck in the middle of nowhere, and we’re lost?”

“I didn’t plan this,” Drew snapped. “You think I wanted this?”

“Obviously you didn’t think this through,” you retorted, your voice rising in frustration. “We’re out here because you couldn’t accept that people are following you. You forced me into a disguise, dragged me out of the city, and now we’re stuck in the mud!”

Drew turned to you, his face hard. “You think I wanted any of this? I didn’t ask for this either, you know. I didn’t ask to be followed around by paparazzi all the time. I didn’t ask for people like you to get involved in my life.”

The words stung, and for a moment, you felt something inside snap. “You don’t get it,” you said, voice trembling with emotion. “I didn’t ask for any of this either. I came to LA for a fresh start, to get away from all of that. But now I’m just here, stuck with you in the middle of nowhere, pretending to be someone I’m not, and for what?”

Drew’s face softened, but the damage was already done. You couldn’t look at him anymore. The silence between you both was deafening as you sat in the car, the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

You weren’t sure what you were more upset about—the situation itself, or the way Drew had made you feel so small.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The car sat idling in the middle of nowhere, its engine sputtering one last time before dying with a sad cough. You stared at the dense forest surrounding you, the humid air creeping into the small confines of Ava’s beat-up car. Drew banged his fists lightly on the steering wheel and groaned, muttering something under his breath.

“I can’t believe this,” you muttered, unbuckling your seatbelt. “We’re literally stuck in the middle of nowhere because you—”

“Because me?” Drew interrupted, incredulous, turning toward you with wide eyes. “Let’s not forget, the only reason we’re here is because I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me?” you shot back, your voice rising. “You mean forcing me into a disguise, dragging me into some wild goose chase to avoid a couple of cameras, and now stranding me in the wilderness counts as protection?”

“You think I enjoy this?” Drew countered, gesturing wildly at the forest. “You think I wanted to get stuck in mud, in a car that sounds like it might explode at any moment?”

“Don’t you dare blame Ava’s car!” you snapped, your voice almost a growl. “It’s a miracle this thing even runs, and honestly, I’d trust it over you right now!”

Drew opened his mouth, then shut it, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “This is ridiculous,” he muttered. “We should be working together, not blaming each other.”

“Oh, now you want teamwork?” you scoffed, crossing your arms. “You mean after you implied I’m some leech who can’t handle your celebrity life?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Drew said quickly, his tone defensive. “I was frustrated, okay? You don’t know what it’s like having your every move watched.”

“I didn’t ask for this!” you yelled, finally stepping out of the car. The humid air hit you, but you didn’t care. You needed to move. “You dragged me into this! I just wanted a nice day out, and instead, I’m in the middle of nowhere, wearing your hoodie, and wondering if I’m about to be eaten by a bear.”

Drew stepped out of the car too, holding his hands up in surrender. “Okay, first of all, there are no bears here—probably. Second, I was just trying to make the day fun.”

“Oh, yeah, super fun,” you shot back sarcastically, pacing in front of him. “Getting chased by paparazzi, being forced into a hoodie that smells like Axe body spray—real thrilling.”

Drew blinked. “Axe body spray? That’s Tom Ford.”

“Whatever,” you said, throwing your hands up. “It all smells the same when you’re stressed out and stuck in the mud!”

Drew sighed, leaning against the car, his head tilted back. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think it would get this bad.”

“You didn’t think at all!” you snapped, poking a finger at his chest. “And now we’re stranded, because apparently, your grand plan to escape paparazzi is to drive until the Earth swallows us whole.”

“Hey!” Drew said, his tone turning defensive again. “I was improvising. I didn’t see you coming up with any ideas!”

“Because I didn’t sign up to be part of your personal action movie!” you shot back.

There was a beat of silence before Drew’s lips quirked upward, the tiniest hint of a smirk forming.

“What?” you demanded, narrowing your eyes at him.

“You’re cute when you’re mad,” he said, a lazy grin spreading across his face.

You blinked, caught completely off guard. “Excuse me?”

“I mean,” Drew continued, leaning slightly closer, “the way you’re all fiery and passionate right now—it’s kind of hot.”

You gaped at him, utterly speechless. “Are you—are you seriously trying to flirt your way out of this argument?”

“Depends,” he said, his smirk growing. “Is it working?”

You let out a sharp laugh, more out of disbelief than humor. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Unbelievably charming?” he quipped, raising an eyebrow.

“Unbelievably infuriating,” you corrected, throwing your hands up. “I’m out of here.”

You turned on your heel and started walking toward the road, your footsteps crunching against the gravel. Drew scrambled after you.

“Wait! You can’t just storm off into the wilderness!” he called.

“Watch me,” you shot back, not breaking stride.

“Y/N,” Drew said, his voice dropping into a softer, coaxing tone. “Come on. You don’t want to leave me here all alone, do you?”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you said, turning around to glare at him. “I’m sure you can charm the forest animals into helping you out.”

Drew stopped in his tracks, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Finally, he sighed and threw his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. You win. I screwed up.”

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Go on.”

“I’ll admit,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I didn’t think this through. I was trying to be... I don’t know, spontaneous? Adventurous?”

“Well, congratulations,” you said dryly. “You’ve succeeded in creating the most chaotic adventure of all time.”

Drew chuckled softly, his eyes meeting yours with a hint of guilt. “I’ll fix it. I promise. Just... don’t walk away, okay?”

You sighed, the fight draining out of you as his expression softened. “Fine,” you said reluctantly. “But if we get eaten by a bear, I’m haunting you.”

“Deal,” Drew said, grinning. And despite everything, you found yourself smiling back—just a little.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks #outer banks x reader #obx #obx x reader #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron request #rafe cameron season 4 #drew starkey fanfiction #starstruck

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just-my-latest-hyperfixation · 14 days ago

Text

You're my ruin (but you're mine)

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 28

Prompt: Pining

Rated: E

Tags: No UD AU; Record label owner Eddie; waiter Steve; sex worker Steve; Eddie Munson has a crush on Steve Harrington; blowjobs

Notes: Part of my Upside Diner mini series

“How d’you wanna do this?”

Eddie, who’s been fiddling with the dimmer switch and drifting off into a spiral of frantic thoughts, jumps and whirls. Which turns out to be a mistake, because the image that greets him does nothing to alleviate his nerves.

Steve is seated on his bed, the hazy light bringing out the highlights in his hair and the golden specks in his eyes. He came over straight from his job at the diner, so he’s still in the tiny shorts and knee-high socks, the shirt that’s just shy of too tight. The silly smiley face on the name tag beams up at Eddie.

Steve is not smiling.

“Did you listen to a single word I said?” he scowls.

“Erm…” Eddie says. “You were talking about your rules?”

Steve nods, unimpressed, and ticks them off on his fingers while Eddie walks over to the bed.

“No name calling. No sweethearts or darlings or honeys and most certainly no whores or bitches or sluts. No hair-pulling and no slapping.” As he comes closer, Eddie catches sight of the fading bruise on Steve’s lip, where his last customer broke that particular rule. “And no kissing. Got it?”

“Yes, sir,” Eddie quips, clicking his heels together. “Wait, can I call you sir?”

Steve gives him a look. “Don’t make this weird, Eddie.”

Eddie thinks it’s already plenty weird, but he keeps his mouth shut. He was the one who suggested this, after all.

“Okay,” Steve says, all calm and business-like. “How should we go about this? Anything you want? Things I should know about?”

That I’m in love with you, Eddie wants to say. That I’ve wanted you since we were teenagers. That I want you in so many more ways than this. That it scares the shit out of me. That you can’t ever know, because then you’d leave, and I don’t think I could take that. That I’d rather have you like this than never have you at all.

“Nah,” he says. “Just do your thing, man. You’re the pro, right?”

Steve huffs a dry laugh.

“Yeah, right,” he says. “I’ll leave the uniform on. It does things for you, doesn’t it?”

Eddie’s mouth goes dry. Those pretty eyes look up at him, and for a horrible second, he’s convinced they saw right through him. But then Steve gives himself a shake and the moment breaks.

And then he drops to his knees and Eddie’s world spins off its axis.

He’s fully hard before Steve’s fingers even brush the crotch of his jeans, and Steve must notice, because his eyes flick up, large and surprised. In the low bedroom light, Eddie imagines he sees a blush spread over the bridge of his nose. Then, Steve lowers his gaze and focuses on his task.

Eddie’s belt and fly come open with practised ease, and desire coils in his abdomen, tight and hot and so urgent it’s almost painful, and he needs to bite down on his own bottom lip to keep himself from blurting out something stupid. How this is going too fast. How they need to slow down or he’ll come in his boxers before Steve so much as gets his hands on him. But then Steve pulls him out, hand wrapping firm and steady around his base, and it’s too late for second thoughts.

Eddie makes a sound - a low, pathetic thing somewhere between a moan and a gasp and a whine - but this time, Steve doesn’t pause to check in on him. Instead, he shuffles closer, and then the tickle of a breath against his leaking tip is all the warning Eddie gets before he’s engulfed in that warm, wet, beautiful mouth.

It’s heaven. Steve’s throat constricting around him as he slowly takes him all the way down. It’s hell. Steve’s tongue teasing the underside of his cock, Steve’s hands sliding up his thighs for leverage. Eddie moans, trying to keep his hips from twitching, but Steve squeezes his ass as if to signal it’s okay, and that’s all the encouragement he needs. Still, he tries to go gently as he starts to fuck into Steve’s mouth, allowing Steve to control the pace and rhythm of it. His fingers twitch, eager to bury themselves in that gorgeous swoop of hair, so he crosses them behind his own head, pulling on his curls until his scalp hurts, watching through half-lidded eyes how Steve bobs back and forth on his cock.

He was planning on warning Steve before his climax, give him time to pull off, but it comes out of nowhere and with enough force to make his vision black out. When he regains his senses, he feels Steve swallow around his length, and the thought of Steve drinking down his come makes his softening cock jump again. Steve swallows it all without complaint, pulling off only once Eddie has spilled every last drop.

“Holy shit,” Eddie breathes, finally finding his words as Steve tucks him back into his pants and climbs to his feet, shaking out his numb legs. “That was … wow.”

“Glad to hear it,” Steve says, and for the blink of an eye, Eddie catches sight of his smile. Boyish and bashful and a little smug. It makes him wanna do stupid things. Things Steve explicitly said weren’t allowed. “Next week, same time?”

Eddie blinks. “I- … yeah. Yeah, okay. I’ll- … Lemme walk you out?”

“It’s okay, I know the way,” Steve says, wiping a stray drop of white off his lips as he shrugs into his shoes. Eddie’s spent cock twitches in his jeans. “See you at the diner tomorrow.”

Then he’s gone. Just like that. Eddie waits until he hears the sound of the apartment door closing before he sags heavily onto his bed and buries his face in his hands, wondering what on earth he has gotten himself into.

Pining for Steve Harrington like a hopeless idiot while getting his dick sucked by the very man. Eddie Munson, ladies and gents! To be continued ...

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borbygorlinbbqworld · 9 months ago

Text

A weird dairy allergy.

That's what you had been told it was, ever since you were a kid. But after you had moved out from your parents' protective care, you found out the truth.

Even so, when you checked into the restaurant, you still told them to mind what was given to you. Disinterested, and barely glancing at your modest double D cups, the host raised an eyebrow.

"You mean a lactose intolerance?" he asked.

You shook your head. "No."

"Anaphylaxis?"

You only wish it were. "No, not exactly..."

"Whatever." With a roll of his eyes, he started walking toward a table. "Follow me."

You sat where he directed. Glancing at the menu, you waited for your date to arrive.

Tinder was often as cesspool of terrible choices--for both men and women--but you'd really gotten lucky finding this guy on there.

Aside from being extremely attractive (though that never really hurt, did it?), he was in his second year of residency at a children's hospital. With the looks, brains, and money all that would have entailed, he still managed to be humble, and quite charming.

He even seemed really understanding about your dairy allergy when you had told him about it during one of your late night chats.

'Wow, you must feel so uncomfortable!' he had said, genuinely sounding apologetic.

Uncomfortable had been the gentle way of putting it.

After a few minutes of waiting, your date finally appeared. He chatted with the host for a few moments, pointing at the table you were sitting at. Their conversation seemed a little longer than usual, but when he finally arrived at your table, he explained.

"Just wanted to make sure he was aware of your allergy." He flashed a brilliant smile that made your heart melt. "But we're doing a tasting. A few small servings of everything in the restaurant!"

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But after eating a few bites of one of the appetizers, you start to feel a familiar tightness on your chest. Your boobs didn't seem overly larger, so you thought it must have been imagined.

After a few more bites though, the tightness doesn't let up. Your bra starts to creek. With another furtive glance downward, you can see you were right.

There's a crease where the bra was trying to contain the breasts and where they were starting to spill out.

"Was there dairy in this?" you ask.

Your date shook his head. "Shouldn't be. Why?"

Why? Maybe you were being too critical of yourself; if he couldn't tell they had gone up half a cup size, maybe it wasn't worth mentioning.

So the next appetizer was brought out. It was savoury, melt in your mouth...

..and made your breasts swell another size. It was very clear now that whatever you had eaten had to have had at least some dairy in it. Your bra now fit like a tiny bikini, your hard nipples rubbing against its edge teasingly as you spilled out the front of your low cut dress.

"There's definitely dairy in this food," you tell your date urgently. "I'm reacting."

He tilted his head to the side, looking at your chest. "Maybe a little bit, but nothing too uncomfortable I wouldn't say."

It certainly didn't feel that way, but maybe he was right. Maybe you were too worried about the stares you'd get.

So you continued to eat.

After the next course, you realized he had to be playing polite. Your mammaries swelled, tightening the top of your dress until there was no more give. Not only were you spilling out the front, but out the sides now too. The straps that had once been full coverage now strained with the weight of your expanding bust. You weren't sure when it had happened, but your bra had torn; it was too much for it to handle.

You jumped to your feet suddenly, your breasts bouncing back and forth as your nipples poked through the fabric of your dress. Stomping over to the host station, you tried to ignore just how good it felt when your breasts were sloshing around from the movement.

"Excuse me!" You waved your hand to get his attention, sniffling a groan as you felt your chest get even tighter.

The host looked up with a bored expression on his face until he spotted just what his food had done to your body.

"U-U-Uhh..."

The man could barely choke out a word, and he definitely couldn't help but stare. It burned a heat between your legs.

"Was there any dairy in the food?" you asked desperately.

He took a solid few minutes to answer, and only did so after adjusting a chub in his pants.

"A-A little bit," he confessed. "I didn't think it would... would..." He trailed off, keeping his stare on your breasts. Clearing his throat he finally looked away. "Your boyfriend over there asked that I put some in."

That little asshole...

You stormed back over to him, a little miffed at the fact that you enjoyed how he watched every sway.

Before you could say anything, he apologized. "I'm so sorry. I guess I didn't believe that it was true, which was wrong--but I had to see for myself."

"Well, have you seen enough?" You gestured to your swelling chest.

"I'm sorry! But how, uhh... " He swallowed, as if biting back more lewd words than what he went with. "How big can they get?"

You did your best to cross your arms indignantly, but the feeling of your arm brushing against your hard nipple made you squeak.

"I dunno, I've never been this big before."

Or this sensitive...

Your breasts felt so heavy, so incredibly full, yet every little bump or sway filled you with pleasure.

He nodded, keeping his eyes on them. "I felt guilty for kind of... trapping you into this, I guess. So I booked out the restaurant entirely, if that's any consolation..."

A quick look around proved there really weren't any other guests in the restaurant. It was a small token of sweetness.

The guy really couldn't stop staring at your breasts, and for the first time, you didn't want him to stop.

"Well, I guess if there's no one else here..." You wave your hand to grab the attention of the waiter. "Let's see how big I get."

His pupils dilated for a moment. "Yeah?"

The waiter arrived.

"A glass of milk please."

He paused, looking between you , your breasts, back to you, then your date. "B-But--"

"Whole milk, if you have it."

He didn't take very long filling your request. You raised the glass of milk up in toast, waiting for your date to meet it with his own.

You gulped down the milk, each swallow loud. Before that moment, any dairy you had had been in tiny, small amounts.

Right away, you felt the familiar tightening in your chest. The sound of ripping fabric told you your dress hadn't made it. As soon as the fabric gave way, your breasts burst forth like water breaking through a dam. They swayed from the sudden freedom, leaving you with that arousing sloshing sensation again...

They had never felt so full before! But full of what, exactly?

It wasn't long before your expanding mammaries forced your nipples against the edge of the table.

You let out a whimper.

"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?"

So full, so full... How did your swelling masses make you feel so uncomfortable, yet so... aroused?

Whether it was to genuinely help, or so he could get a better look, your date move the table, giving you more room.

Finally, the tightness died down, and the swelling stopped. Your breasts filled up your lap, blocking your stomach completely as the heavy mounds rested on the tops of your thighs. Your puffy nipples stuck out, just aching.

In fact, your breasts in general were in need of something.

You look back to your date, wondering if the growth had been too much. But to your pleasant surprise, he was drooling over them. The thought of his saliva dripping off your engorged teets... were your panties always this wet?

He reached a hand out to touch. His fingertips gently grazed the skin near your nipple, and your breasts throbbed with need.

He took them both in his hands, gently kneading them in his fingers. But every movement hit against a gland, making you let out a soft moan.

Two pearl-like beads appeared at the tips of your nipples.

"Is that...?"

You really did feel full...

He squeezed your breasts gently, no doubt testing his suspicions.

Two streams of milk burst forth from your mammaries, spattering across the floor, the table, and his face as you let out a cry of pleasure.

Before you could even let out the demand that was on your lips, you felt your date's hot mouth on your breast. He sucked gently at first, then a hard suck that flooded his mouth with so much milk, it started dribbling down his chin.

He kept going though, suckling on the one breast while pulling the other nipple in an all too familiar fashion. He directed the spray into his empty cup of water, all while latched and guzzling from the other breast. You could hear each hungry gulp from him, which only made your panties even wetter. I rubbed my pelvis back and forth against the fabric.

He let go with his mouth momentarily, his gaze a little unfocused, like he was milk drunk. "Can't even imagine... what it's going to be like when I get you pregnant..."

And with a loud moan of pleasure from you, he latched on to the other breast, feasting greedily on your massive mommy milkers.

The feeling was pure ecstasy...

---

🐮

#breast expansion #tw lactation kink #lactation kink tw #massive breasts #huge natural melons #huge cleavage #smut #engorged

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asteroshearts · 1 year ago

Text

My Type

Oh no! Nanami's wife is just Itadori's type!

Or the story of how, upon meeting Nanami's wife, Itadori just can't take his eyes off her.

Nanami x Reader

Tags: this story was referenced here, but can be read completely alone, she/her pronouns, discussions of body types, Itadori's a bit of a pervert here (but he doesn't actually see anything!! Nanami, however, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)), typical anime flashing

Hey Ken: How are you feeling?

You: Like shit My fever got worse after you left

Hey Ken: I'll be home soon. Please take ibuprofen, drink lots of water, and rest as much as you can. I'm finishing up now.

You: I just checked our cabinet We ran out of Bufferin UGHHHH I feel terrible I fucking told Daiki from accounting that he should go home if he was coughing but he said it was fine AND COUGHED IN MY FACE And now look at me

Hey Ken: We're out? I'll pick some up on my way home while I grab our other groceries. Please wait for me until then. Take a nap if you can. You're just going to get more exhausted thinking of the idiots in your office.

You: I looked online, delivery is going to take over an hour I'm getting dizzier I don't want to wait I'm going to go to the Matsukiyo near us to get it myself

Hey Ken: What?

Hey Ken: Don't go. I'll pick it up.

Hey Ken: Darling. Read my messages.

Hey Ken: Pick up the phone.

(10) Missed Calls

Several moments ago…

Itadori already thought that today got off to a weird start.

To begin with, it wasn't Ijichi in the driver's seat to pick him up today, but Nanamin. It also wasn't the Jujutsu Tech standard vehicle, but a nice, sleek, and expensive Porsche.

"W-Woah! Nanamin!" Itadori called then. Eyes wide and bright at the polished paint that glistened in the heavy sunlight. "Nice ride!" he said giddily, running his fingers across the aerodynamic doors. Popping his head up toward Nanami's window, he said, "This must've cost you a fortune!" And he thought that Gojo-sensei spent crazily.

"It was a gift," Nanami flatly said. The boy gaped at him like a fish. But who would just give away a car like this? They had to be really close — or maybe he had saved some rich guy and he thanked Nanamin by giving him a brand new car! The boy's eyes shone. Maybe one day he could get a nice gift like — "Get in." The doors unlocked.

"Hiya, Ijichi-san! Must be nice not driving for once, huh?" While marveling at the car's clean interior, he hopped into the back seat, feeling the leather under his hands and the cool blast of the AC hit his sweaty hair after being in the summer sun.

"Good morning, Itadori-kun," the dark-haired man said with a nervous smile. The car rumbled beneath them as Nanami turned the engine back on. "Nanami-san is surely giving me a nice change of pace — "

"Our duties will not change," Nanami stated, turning the wheel. "Ijichi-san is still required to do his job, as well as you, Itadori-kun. Don't get distracted." The pink-haired boy pouted in the backseat. "It just so happens that I have urgent errands to run after this, so time is of the essence."

Turning into an alleyway, Nanami smoothly hit the brakes and put the car into park. "Let's go."

Luckily for him, the curse was a low-level one mostly used for teaching Itadori the ropes, and the two of them managed to exorcise it in record time. For someone who was just thrust into the world of curses several weeks ago, he was doing well. As well as anyone could in his situation.

The boy was still a bumbling newbie, but he had a good head on his shoulders and was a strong opponent for most curses that they dealt with on a daily basis. Lips twitching into a frown, the blond thought that if Gojo didn't poison the youth's mind, surely Yuji would continue having a nice and mature head on his shoulders.

Nanami had to drop Ijichi off at his next assignment, but other than that, all he needed was to drop Itadori off at the college and then he could return to his sick wife. Paperwork still needed to be done, but luckily he could finish that at a later time. Unfortunately, last night you had a major headache and showed signs of an upcoming sickness this morning.

He had just barely convinced you to not do remote work and just take the day off to rest instead. However, as he checked on his messages with you, he found out that you were insisting on double — no, triple mask to go to the pharmacy yourself. All while you had a 37.5-degree fever.

He tried to call you once, thrice, and all of them were left for voicemail.

Cursing inwardly, Nanami leaned his head back on the headrest. Normally, the blond man was the arbiter of restraint and level-headed thinking, but all of that went out the door at the mere thought of his sickly wife dragging herself out in the street to get some medication. Why did you have to be so stubborn?

"My apologies, Itadori-kun." Nanami pushed up his glasses. "I need to take a detour before I drop you off at your dorm. I apologize for the inconvenience."

The boy blinked owlishly. "Oh that's alri — GH!"

Without another word, Nanami quickly turned left, jolting the teen to the side from the momentum, increasing the speed of his vehicle, and raced down the streets.

Within five minutes, Itadori felt like a dog left in the car as his "owner" raced into the nearest grocery store to grab medication, vegetables, and grains for the upcoming, proverbial storm. Even as the cashier tried their hardest to ignore the intense stare of the tall blond man before them, every second that ticked by as they scanned his purchase felt like hours.

As soon as he nearly threw his money on the tray and took all of the grocery bags under his toned arms, Nanami was off again, shifting into drive and ignoring the speed limit all the way back home.

Nanami could've nearly run into his apartment's chain-link garage doors if it had lifted any slower, allowing him access to his own underground parking before he landed in his designated parking spot within three seconds.

Racing out the car, he took all of the grocery bags over one muscular arm and was prepared to run off until he remembered he had a teen in the backseat.

"Itadori-kun," he said hurriedly. "Can you — " The man stopped himself short.

He originally planned to tell the boy to wait for him in the car, but caught sight of the boy's skin gleaming with sweat, reflecting one of the garage's low lights. Summer was brutal right now, with insane humidity that made Itadori's hair damp as if he had just taken a dunk in water. Even though the parking garage was cooler than it was outside, it was still unbearably hot, not to mention cruel, if he had forced the teen to just sit here and deal with it. Itadori had already waited in the hot car when he went out to grab groceries, and although he rolled the windows down, suddenly Nanami remembered all of the articles of puppies and toddlers dying in the back of cars during the summer.

Sighing, the man pushed his glasses up. "Behave yourself. Come with me."

"Ken?" Eyes wide, you held the door open. Keys were lifted up in the air in the man's hands, but you had beat him to the chase and opened the door before he managed to get the key in the keyhole. "Oh! I didn't know that you were bringing a guest." Stepping back quickly, you realized another person was standing behind your husband. "If I had known, I would've worn a surgeon mask!" Alert, you said. "Hold on, I'll go grab one right now — !"

"No need. We'll make this fast." He was about to take a step forward, but then realized that the student hadn't moved an inch ever since you opened the door. "Itadori-kun?"

As still as a statue, pink slowly rose from the boy's neck all the way up to the tips of his ears. He couldn't rip his gaze from you for even a second. Although your hair wasn't done and your face was covered, he could tell just how beautiful you were.

Furthermore, you looked just like the pin-up models he had in his room — you were just his type! Your little chemise barely ended at the middle of your thigh, and although everything important was covered up, it left little to the imagination with how the fabric hugged your waist and hips. As you held the door open for them and leaned forward, the loose triangle top of your nightgown was teasing him with the exposed curves and valleys of your chest.

You were too hot!

"Itadori-kun," Nanami repeated, irritated.

Way too hot for Nanamin!

"Nanamin! You didn't tell me that you were married!" Eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets, Itadori almost thought they had gotten the wrong apartment when you had just opened the door. While his mentor was an attractive man, it was like a mountain and a molehill to the teenager. Not to mention that this strict and serious ex-salaryman was hitched! To a babe no less!

Certainly, you didn't marry for personality!

He couldn't imagine what your daily life was like while Nanamin talked about doing the bare minimum and never smiled.

Raising an eyebrow, Nanami followed Itadori's stare to your state of dress. You weren't even wearing your indoor slippers, and you were absolutely breathtaking even if you had a dark clay mask over your face. He wasn't an idiot, and he could feel his blood vessels pumping harshly. Trying to remind himself with mantras of how Itadori was just a stupid, hormonal teenager, and you could dress how you wanted, and that he especially couldn't beat up Itadori. Pinching his nose bridge, the man couldn't even look at the boy. "My personal life and my work life are completely separate. I wouldn't anno — !"

"But you don't even wear a wedding ring!" Itadori insisted.

"Why would I wear my rings when my daily job involves fighting and getting messy?" Nanami rhetorically asked, stepping through your door with all the groceries in one go. "Wedding and engagement rings are investments, and I'd be damned if I lose my rings and be forced to inflate the wedding ring industry any more than I already have."

Grinning, you beamed at Itadori. Only you really know how seriously Nanami took the "three month's salary on rings" tradition, especially on his sorcerer's salary. "Now you know, Itadori-kun! If you catch him committing adultery while he's out without his ring, you'll shank him for me, right?" Placing both of your hands on your husband's waist, you laughed when you playfully tried to shake him. Of course, that didn't do much. Your man continued to stand there like a stone statue, as if you tried to rock a brick wall while he remained wholly unamused.

From your weak roughhousing, all that managed to do was drop your spaghetti strap from your shoulder. With your dress threatening to slip, Nanami sighed and quickly stood in front of you, blocking your body from Itadori's gaze. He carefully and slowly pulled your shoulder strap back up your body before you managed to flash the poor teen. When you looked up, his brown eyes met with yours.

Gently rubbing your bare shoulder with his large hand, he asked, "I thought you said you were going to Matsukiyo?"

"I was," you rasped out, voice raw from all the coughing you did. "But then I took one step outside and it was too damn hot." Laughing weakly, you said, "I slunk back like a vampire the second the humidity hit me."

The man sighed deeply, and his shoulders dropped in relief and exhaustion. While he ran around like a chicken with its head cut off from worry, he was glad that you ended up not going out after all.

"Why didn't you pick up my calls?" he said deeply, leaning in close enough for you to feel his breath on your ear.

"I was making okayu with kombu," you explained. "Sorry," you said genuinely, "that's all I managed to make for our dinner today."

"I'm upset that you cooked in the first place," Nanami scolded. "You should be resting. I said I'd take care of it. Why were you in the kitchen when the hot fumes could make your fever even worse?" Turning away from his nagging, you pouted.

"I'm hungry though…" you mumbled, far too much like a spoiled child, and Nanami was sure, in some way, that you were spoiled, of his making too. He always prioritized you and let you have your way. "And I already ate the miyeok guk you made."

"You could've ordered delivery," the man countered.

"Nothing interested me there."

Inhaling deeply once more, Nanami tried to calm the upcoming headache he felt. There was no point in arguing with you, not when you were coughing and sick like this. "Stay here. I'm going to whip up a bowl of okayu to have with your medicine," the man ordered before he picked up a blanket you had draped over one of your couches and wrapped you in it like a burrito. When you opened your mouth, your husband only sternly repeated, "Stay."

Playfully rolling your eyes when he left to go to the kitchen, you puffed out your cheeks in mock irritation. Closing the door to your apartment so the AC couldn't escape anymore, you turned to the teen who was standing awkwardly in your home.

"Aw I'm sorry," you said, voice sounding like sandpaper again. "You know, Kento's kinda strict, but I assure you he's a good man," you said gently. "Thank you so much for taking care of him."

"M-Me?" Itadori sputtered. "I'm not the one taking care of him! He takes care of me! Um…" The boy grew demure when he realized he had no way to address you.

"Oh," you realized you didn't introduce yourself. "I apologize! I totally forgot! I know you since Ken talks about you and Ino all the time, but I didn't realize you didn't know me!"

Itadori gasped. "He talks about me?!"

"Of course! All good things!" you assured. "Even though Kento seems like a meanie, he's a genuine person and wouldn't exaggerate, so he wouldn't praise you unless he absolutely meant it." You knew that this was the teen that hosted Sukuna, the King of Curses. It was a heavy burden for someone who wasn't even an adult yet, and your heart grew heavy at the thought of this boy's fate.

"Before I forget…" Quickly, you ran to your bathroom and cleaned off your clay face mask before you returned with your bare face wet and a cloth Pompompurin headband keeping your hair out of the way. "I need to introduce myself."

Now Itadori was sure that you two were married with the way you introduced yourself nearly identically to your husband. With your back straight and shoulders squared, hands flat, and arms straight at your side, you closed your eyes and bowed.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Itadori-kun." You acquired your business card out of thin air and held it out for the boy. "My name is Nanami [Name], and I'm a senior project manager at Yurukawa Corp. If you or your friends ever get tired of exorcising curses and want to look into engineering, you can ask me!"

Huh?

It was too silent.

When you rose and looked up, you realized that your husband had suddenly materialized out of nowhere. Standing in between you and Itadori, your husband's stern expression could freeze hell over as he stared down at Itadori with a frown, arm outstretched and his hand held up — right where Itadori's eyes would've seen your cleavage when you bent over to bow.

"Itadori-kun."

"Y-Yes!"

"We are going. Now."

The car was completely silent the entire way to the dorm rooms. Quickly shifting the car into park, Itadori jumped at the sudden stop.

No one said a word. The entire ride felt like the air was heavy enough to drown in.

"Itadori-kun." Nanami's eyes were hidden by the reflection in his glasses.

"…Yes?" the boy squeaked out, pressing his index fingers together.

"Never ogle my wife again."

#nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk nanami #nanami fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #nanami

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iamgonnagetyouback · 4 months ago

Text

𝟷.𝟾𝚔 || 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔..?

♡ ︎ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: The four times Aaron almost said "I Love You" (And the one time he did)

♡ ︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: Jealousy, Angst with a happy ending

♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

The sound of gunfire echoed through the air like a bad memory, your heartbeat racing as you ducked behind an old, half-broken dumpster. The world felt like it was spinning out of control, but you stayed grounded. You were an agent of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, and you’d been in these situations before.

Just not… this close.

Aaron Hotchner’s voice crackled through your earpiece, cutting through the chaos, “Stay where you are. Reinforcements are coming in two minutes.”

But two minutes felt like two hours as bullets ricocheted off the nearby walls, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to thoughts of this could be it. And then, there was Hotch’s voice again, calmer, more urgent this time. “Y/N, talk to me. Are you okay?”

You didn’t want to answer because, truthfully, you weren’t sure. But you couldn’t leave him hanging. “I’m fine,” you managed, although the slight tremor in your voice betrayed you.

Moments later, everything stopped. The cavalry had arrived, and the unsub was taken down. You were alive, but barely able to process it.

Aaron was on you in a flash, his usual calm demeanor cracking around the edges as he gripped your arms tightly, checking you over like he’d never seen you before.

“Don’t ever do that again,” he said, his voice barely a whisper but heavy with emotion.

You blinked up at him, taken aback by the intensity in his eyes. His hands hadn’t left your arms, and the way his thumb brushed your skin was sending you into overdrive. “Hotch, I’m fine. It’s not the first time I’ve been in danger.”

“You could’ve died,” he said, and there was something in his tone you’d never heard before—something raw, almost vulnerable.

You shrugged, trying to downplay the whole thing. “Comes with the job.”

His grip tightened slightly, and for a moment, you thought he was going to say something more. Something important. Something like—

But then Derek called out, and the moment was gone. Hotch let go, stepping back and pulling his professionalism back over him like a suit of armor.

“Get checked by the medics,” he said in his usual stoic tone before turning away, leaving you standing there, wondering what had just happened.

The night was cool, the air crisp with that slight autumn bite as you walked beside Hotch. Penelope usually drove you home after cases, but tonight she had left early, feeling under the weather, leaving you stranded without a ride. Hotch had offered to walk you home since finding a cab at this hour was proving impossible. You hadn’t objected—though, in retrospect, maybe you should have. Being alone with Aaron Hotchner outside of work was dangerous territory for your heart.

You’d been in love with him for longer than you cared to admit, but he was your boss. More than that, he was Hotch. Controlled, restrained, always keeping his emotions in check. Even when you were joking around with the team, there was always a line he never crossed.

“You didn’t have to walk me home,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence as you stuffed your hands into your pockets. The cold was starting to seep in.

He glanced down at you, a small, unreadable smile playing at the corner of his lips. “It’s late. I wouldn’t feel right letting you walk alone.”

His voice was low, and the way he said it made your heart do a weird little flip in your chest.

“Still, you’re probably exhausted. This case was brutal.”

He shrugged, his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his coat. “It’s part of the job. Besides, it’s not every day I get to walk you home.”

Your heart stopped for a beat. Did he mean…?

You turned to look at him, but he was staring straight ahead, face unreadable. Maybe you were reading too much into it, hearing what you wanted to hear. Hotch wasn’t the kind of guy to drop hints.

But as you reached your front door, there was a hesitation in the air, something hanging between the two of you that hadn’t been there before.

“Thanks for walking me,” you said, fiddling with your keys.

He stood there for a moment, as if debating something in his mind. “Anytime.”

And then it happened again—one of those moments where you swore he was going to say something. His eyes were locked on yours, and there was a softness there, a vulnerability that made your heart ache.

But, as always, he said nothing. He gave you a small nod and turned to leave.

Hotch had asked you to babysit Jack while the team was out on a long case. You couldn’t say no—not when Jack’s sweet little face lit up at the idea of spending time with you.

The case had gone longer than expected, and by the time Aaron returned, it was well past midnight. He quietly opened the door to find you and Jack curled up on the couch, fast asleep.

For a moment, he just stood there, taking in the sight. Jack’s head was nestled against your shoulder, your arm wrapped protectively around him. The sight tugged at something deep in Aaron’s chest.

You looked so... natural with Jack. Like you belonged here, in his home, with his son.

Aaron felt a lump rise in his throat. He wanted to tell you then, wanted to wake you up and tell you that you were everything he’d been searching for, that you made his house feel like a home. But instead, he just stood there, heart aching as he watched you sleep.

The words “I love you” echoed in his mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to say them. Not yet.

Instead, he carefully draped a blanket over you both, his fingers brushing lightly against your shoulder as he did. You stirred slightly, but didn’t wake.

You weren’t much for drinks after cases, but Penelope and Emily had practically dragged you out. “You need to relax,” Emily had said, while Penelope nodded enthusiastically. They had no idea how much you’d been stressing over your feelings for Aaron lately.

“I don’t know, maybe I should just tell him how I feel,” you muttered, half-drunk on courage, but fully consumed by anxiety.

Penelope nearly choked on her drink. “Sweetie, yes! What’s stopping you?”

You opened your mouth to reply, but then your eyes landed on Aaron. He was standing by the bar, talking to a woman—a beautiful woman. And she was flirting with him. You could see it in the way she leaned closer, her hand lightly touching his arm. And worst of all, Aaron wasn’t exactly pulling away.

Your heart sank, and you felt sick to your stomach. Of course. Of course, he’d be with someone like her. Why would he ever choose you?

“I—uh, I think I’m gonna head out,” you said quickly, avoiding Penelope and Emily’s concerned glances.

“Wait, what? You were just—” Emily started, but you were already grabbing your coat.

“I just remembered I have... something early tomorrow.” The lie felt bitter on your tongue as you bolted out of the bar, not bothering to see Aaron turn down the woman and walk away.

The next day, the tension between you and Aaron was palpable. You hadn’t slept much, your mind replaying the scene at the bar over and over again. You were frustrated, heartbroken, and confused. You couldn’t understand why you felt so betrayed, but there it was—this gnawing ache in your chest that wouldn’t go away.

Aaron had noticed. He always noticed.

“You’re upset,” he said, cornering you in one of the quieter hallways of the BAU. His voice was low, but there was a sharp edge to it.

“I’m fine,” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest defensively.

“You’re not fine,” he said, stepping closer, his jaw tight. “You’ve been avoiding me all morning. What’s going on?”

You looked away, trying to keep your emotions in check. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me,” he shot back, and there was something in his voice—something frustrated, desperate.

You took a deep breath, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “I saw you with that woman at the bar last night. You seemed… happy. Relaxed. I don’t know why I’m so upset, but I am, okay? I thought maybe… maybe there was something between us, but clearly, I was wrong.”

Aaron’s eyes widened in surprise, but then something shifted in his expression—something fierce, something raw. “You think I’m interested in her?”

You shrugged, feeling foolish. “Why wouldn’t you be? She’s beautiful, and you didn’t exactly push her away.”

He let out a harsh breath, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “You don’t get it, do you?”

You blinked, taken aback by the intensity in his voice. “Get what?”

“I’m not interested in her. I’m not interested in anyone but you,” he said, his voice rising slightly. “For years, I’ve been trying to keep my distance, trying to stay professional because you’re… you’re everything. You’re smart, and funny, and you’re incredible with Jack. He adores you, and I—” He stopped, his eyes locking with yours, and you could see the struggle on his face as he fought to get the words out.

“Aaron…” you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest.

“I love you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, but the weight of those words hit you like a freight train. “I love the way you care about Jack, the way you make him laugh. I love how you always know when I need someone to talk to, and how you’re never afraid to call me out when I’m being too hard on myself. I love you, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.”

You stood there, stunned, your mind racing to catch up with his words. “You… you love me?”

He nodded, his expression softening. “I do. I’ve loved you for a long time, but I didn’t want to make things complicated. I didn’t want to mess things up.”

A small, tentative smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “Jack adores me, huh?”

Aaron let out a soft chuckle, his tension easing slightly. “He talks about you all the time. You’re his favorite person.”

Your heart swelled at the thought, and suddenly, all the tension, all the confusion, melted away. You took a step closer, reaching up to cup Aaron’s face in your hands. “I love you too.”

He exhaled, a look of pure relief washing over his face as he pulled you into his arms, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was full of all the love and longing that had been building for years.

And in that moment, everything finally made sense.

first criminal minds oneshot hope you guys like it please like, comment, reblog and follow!

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fluff

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ghouljams · 28 days ago

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'Til Death (Remember Me in Your Will): Chapter 2

Rating: Mature (Minors Do Not Interact) Words: 4.4k Tags: David "Hesh" Walker/F!Reader, Sugar Daddy au, Dom/sub undertones, flirting Summary: You start dating Hesh as a way to supliment your income. It's not like you've never sugared before, you know how to play this game. It's just too bad Hesh seems to have his own ideas about what this relationship is.

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ao3

To be honest you don’t expect a call the next day. Despite the dinner, the kiss, the expressed desire to get to know you, something had to have been wrong for him to not take you home. So you busy yourself with work, and text your other sugar daddies when they pop up in your messages. You take your work bestie, Mari, to your favorite sandwich place for lunch and enjoy the chatter. You don’t think about the heavy hand that had settled on your back, the stroke of calloused fingers, the heady rush of Hesh’s attention. You have other things to worry about.

“You alright?” Mari asks when you shudder at the shivery feeling memory shakes down your spine.

“Fine,” You tell her, too quickly. She raises a brow in response and you roll your eyes. “Seriously, it’s nothing. I had a weird date last night.”

“Date date, or…” She waves a hand, filling in the blank with a meaningful look. She’s not a fan of mentioning your other work out loud. You suppose you get it, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it works for you.

“Other kind of date.” You clarify.

“What was wrong with him?” She asks, picking the tomato off her sandwich.

“Nothing,” You shrug, “He was perfectly polite, paid for everything, looked good in a suit-”

“But bad in bed?” Mari finishes.

“He didn’t even take me home.” You correct, and she gives you a look like ‘what’s wrong with you then?’ You can’t blame her. You’re wondering the same thing. “He hasn’t even texted me today.” You admit.

“Yikes.” Mari hisses, “Not good.”

“I know,” you groan, “but there’s plenty of fish in the sea, and I have plenty of other, uh,” you pause trying to find the best word for them for public conversation, “dates.”

Your phone buzzes on the table next to you with an incoming text. You give it a quick glance and feel your heart squeeze with something like disappointment that it isn’t Hesh. It’s one of your other innocuously named sugar daddies. First name, last name, with no discerning emojis or nicknames. Honestly you’d hesitated to put Hesh’s name in as “Hesh” but he’d said at dinner he rarely heard anyone call him “David” these days. Still, it felt almost intimate to plug those four letters into your phone.

It’s a daddy that doesn’t mind waiting on your texts, likely just checking in to see when the next time you can organize a date is, so you turn your attention back to Mari. You’re not a fan of texting when you’re with someone else, and it’s not urgent, so you’re fine ignoring it.

“Not the new guy?” Mari correctly guesses. You sigh, lean back in your chair and drag a hand down your face.

“Nah, one of the older ones.” You tell her. She makes a face.

“I don’t know how you do it,” She shakes her head.

“I don’t know how you eat your tomatoes separate from your sandwich, but I’m not judging.” You retort.

“Fair enough,” She nods, plucking an aforementioned tomato slice off her plate and taking a bite. “Don’t you think about finding, like, a real relationship?” She mumbles around her mouthful.

“Ugh,” You make a face, “After what happened with Josh?”

“Point taken.” Mari makes a face in return. “Hey can I have half your sandwich?”

All business, she offers you half of her sandwich in return, already plucked clean of tomato. You laugh and pick up one half of your meal to trade her.

You’re walking back to work when you spot a familiar face.

You grab Mari’s arm and haul her closer to duck down and hide behind her. Or at least hide as best you can, you get your face out of view. Mari looks at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“That’s Hesh,” You hiss at her as she raises a brow, “the guy from last night.” She glances around. “Brown hair, black coat, tall.”

You know when Mari spots him because her eyes go wide.

“And gorgeous?” She whisper-yells at you, “What is wrong with you? Why wouldn’t you lead with that?”

“Him being good looking is not the problem,” You whisper, “it was a bad date, I don’t want to see him.”

“You said it was fine,” Mari mutters, shuffling along with you despite her grumbling.

“Not if he won’t text me!”

Mari keeps looking at him, totally un-subtle with her glancing. “Maybe he thought you would text him?” She reasons, you glare at her, “He keeps checking his phone, and he’s, like, with people.”

“Oh my god.” You groan, “Just get me out of here.”

“Just keep walking you fuckin’ dork, he’s not even looking over here.” It’s Mari’s turn to haul you, dragging you in the opposite direction of your failed sugar daddy and towards your building. You try not to look too pathetic a mopey as you trudge along beside her. You desperately want to mope though. Just your luck to run into the guy that wants nothing to do with you.

You manage to make it through the last few hours of your work day without incident, your work tiring enough without the added headache of a man’s feelings.

You turn them over in your head though. Maybe he was waiting for you to text him. If he was he didn’t know much about how this worked, but then again he didn’t seem like he’d done this before. Part of you felt a little bad at the idea you were ghosting Hesh. Inadvertently ghosting, but ghosting nonetheless.

It was just that so much of the relationship came with a script. Your interactions with him weren’t free, and it was his job to know that. Especially after he turned you down last night. If he really does want to get to know you better then why the fuck hasn’t he texted you? It’s not like you’re sitting around waiting for him. If Mari is right then the only person who’s waiting around is Hesh. You have other people to cater to.

Speaking of. You tug your phone out of your pocket and skim the short text one of your daddies sent you at lunch. Nothing unusual, asking about meeting up for the weekend, offering some time by the country club’s pool in exchange for your usual allowance and his usual dicking. You click over to your calendar, you could do this weekend. Saturday maybe, then you could do brunch with one of the “busy” ones on Sunday.

Your fingers hover over Hesh’s name. You could text him. It wouldn’t break your protocol or anything to text him and just let him know that you’re open to getting to know him as well. You just need to make sure he understands that getting to know you comes with a price tag. You’re not dating him, not really, and he needs to know that as well as you do.

If he’s looking for someone to get to know, it isn’t you.

You lock your phone and focus back on your work.

The sun is setting by the time you clock out. Your computer is still warm in your bag as you meander to your car. You’d gotten a few texts about scheduling from daddy #1 and you were feeling decent about your weekend plans. You check your phone for the hundredth time as you start your car. Still nothing from Hesh. You don’t know why you bother sitting in the empty chat you have with him, your phone hasn’t buzzed, no typing bubble has popped up, and you’ve lost all hope that the guy had any real interest in you. It was a good date, but something about you didn’t fit for him and he wasn’t going to call you.

You’ll check out your usual sites once you’re home, see about finding someone to fill the gap he was supposed to fill in your monthly expenses.

Or you could bite the bullet and text him first, your rational brain reminds you. Why the hell are you playing hard to get when he’d be paying to see you? Hell you’re probably the easiest thing to get, basically a product on display at the store.

The least you could do is just check that he isn’t interested.

Your apartment feels painfully empty when you open the door. The box of Josh’s things is still sitting by the door. You’re not texting him again to come get his garbage. You’ll pitch it at the end of the week. Honestly you don’t think you miss him as much as you miss his dog. Maybe you should think about getting one again.

You scroll through petfinder as you kick off your shoes and lock the apartment door behind you. Maybe you should crack open a bottle of wine with dinner. Fuck, what are you even having for dinner? You fire off a quick text to one of your friends with a link to one of the dogs on petfinder as you glance over your stock of leftovers.

She gets back to you fast, you thought she was working late today, didn’t she have a shift at the hospital? You glance at your notifications, paypal.

“Hesh Walker sent you-”

Your eyes widen a little, fuck that’s a lot of money. What the hell? He doesn’t text you all day and now he’s-

[Hesh Walker: Was starting to think I scared you off.] Flashes at the top of your screen.

You tap on the text and note that you sent the listing for “Java, 12 weeks” to Hesh, not Hana. His typing bubble pops up and you quickly switch to a different app. You’re popped back into paypal, staring at four digits with no tag.

Was he waiting on you to text him?

[Hesh Walker: The dog’s cute.] At the top of the screen, then:

[Hesh Walker: image]

Your finger hovers over the button to quick switch between apps. You tap it twice and are treated to a photo of a dopey looking german shepherd. Its mouth is open with its tongue hanging out the side, a little white greys its muzzle but it’s eyes are big and watery. Puppy.

[Who’s that?] you type out quickly. Too preoccupied with the thought of more dog photos to remember he sent you way too much money for just a text.

[Hesh Walker: Riley.]

[Hesh Walker: Busy day?]

You frown, it’s exactly the sort of tactic you’d use to figure out why a daddy hadn’t been responding to your texts. Which means he was definitely waiting on you to text him. Why? You’re not exactly ascribed to traditional relationship markers, but wasn’t the guy supposed to text first after a date.

[Didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.] You tell him instead of delving into your personal life. [Turned me down pretty hard after our date.]

The typing bubbles pop up, leave, pop up, leave several times before Hesh sends something.

[Hesh Walker: I’m sorry.]

You blink at your screen. You think this might be the first time a man has just… flat out apologized to you. No trying to explain it, no trying to make excuses, just a flat apology.

[Hesh Walker: I meant what I said about getting to know you.]

[Aren’t you a gentleman

[So no sex?

[That’s not really how this-

You delete your third text in a row. You don’t want to be too sassy after he just paid you. God, he paid you. You don’t even know what he paid you for.

[What’s the money for?] You send instead of responding to his text.

[Hesh Walker: For texting me.]

[Hesh Walker: I’m trying to buy your love.]

You laugh and quickly cover your mouth with your hand. Despite being alone in your apartment you feel a little embarrassed for laughing at such a corny joke.

[So what are the rules here?] You respond with a smile.

[Hesh Walker: Why don’t we grab coffee and talk it out.]

Your eyes flick towards the ceiling trying to remember if you’d scheduled that brunch date for Sunday. God, you really should schedule some time with your friends too.

[How about brunch, Sunday?]

[Hesh Walker: My treat.]

[Of course.]

You close your phone and go back to rummaging through your fridge. You could order take-out, but you already went out to eat today, you can’t throw all your money into food. Maybe pasta? Or you have some chicken left over from- from- Jesus you need to get groceries.

Your phone buzzes.

[Hesh Walker: Gonna ask it again: how was your day?]

You type out your reply quickly, resigning yourself to take-out. [Fine, just trying to figure out dinner.] You switch to your favorite delivery app and start scrolling. What looks good? It’s been a long day, you haven’t really given yourself the time to think about food.

[Hesh Walker: Staying in or going out?]

[Ordering in

You tap your finger against the side of your phone. You’re not doing great at texting this guy, he’s given you money, he deserves more than a two word answer. You delete your reply and type a longer one.

[Thinking of ordering in, but I haven’t decided yet. What about you?]

Perfect. As much as it’s moderately annoying having to switch between apps when you’re trying to use one, you don’t like being dismissive with the guys paying your rent. You do have some manners after all.

[Hesh Walker: I was going to check out this pop-up.]

He sends a link along with his text and you tap it open to look over the small plates and fancy pictures. The food looks phenomenal, and the restaurant itself has a sort of cozy, intimate, vibe that you’re sure is every influencer’s nightmare. Which means it’s not just a shitty gimmick restaurant.

[Looks cool!]

[Hesh Walker: Great, I’ll pick you up.]

You blink at your phone. What?

[What?]

The typing bubble pops up and you watch each little dot bounce as you wait.

[Hesh Walker: They’re going to give me a two-top whether you’re with me or not, and if I’m going to have dinner I’d rather it be with you.]

[Hesh Walker: So I’ll pick you up.]

[You don’t know where I live.] Is the only thing you can think to respond with.

[Hesh Walker: Then send me your address.] Like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

You drum your finger against the side of your phone again, tap tap tapping at your phone case as if the steady rhythm will solve all your problems. Nevermind that you didn’t agree to dinner, can you really just send this man your address? He seemed nice at dinner last night, and if he did turn out to be a murderer it wouldn’t be hard to find him considering how public his (and your) profile on the website you’d used was.

Your stomach grumbles as you think.

Shhh.

You send Mari a quick update on the situation and let her know that if you’re not at work in the morning the police should definitely be called, before sending her Hesh’s profile picture.

[Mari: 👀]

[Mari: that’s the man you fumbled???]

[Mari: previously fumbled sorry]

[Mari: I’ll let the cops know they’re looking for the hottest man in California.]

You roll your eyes and switch back to Hesh’s messages, take a deep breath and send your address through.

[Hesh Walker: Be there in 30]

Thirty? Thirty minutes? Shit.

Shit. Shit. Okay.

You hurry to your bedroom to strip out of your work clothes and dig through your closet for something date-worthy. You’ll barely have time to slap some makeup on, and --Christ-- is this a heels sort of place?

You sniff one of your dresses to be sure it’s clean and tug it from the hanger. You scroll the pop-up’s instagram to see if there are any customer photos. Definitely worth dressing up a bit, you learned your lesson after your first sugar daddy: Better to be overdressed than underdressed for dinner. You pull a pair of heels out from under your bed and check your time. Ok, looking good. You tug the heels on and stand in front of your mirror. Looking good there too. You’ll grab a jacket and- fuck you have to change your backpack out for a purse.

You’re barely put together by the time someone’s knocking on your apartment door. Which shouldn’t happen. The building has a doorman. Is he just letting people up?

You try not to look harried when you slip out the door to greet Hesh. You shut the door tight behind you, unwilling to let him get a peek at your apartment.

He looks good, that same long black coat he was wearing earlier opened to reveal a deep navy suit that- no that- that’s definitely an officer’s coat. Your eyes dart to the ribbons over his breast pocket, the colorful lines delineating service, the brass buttons, the pins. Fuck, is he in uniform?

You drag your eyes to his face. His green eyes sparkle, creased at the edges by his smile. You pointedly do not look at his mouth, even as memories of last night’s kiss fill your mind.

“Are you in uniform?” You ask, unsure where to start the evening when you haven’t had any time to prepare.

Hesh hums, his hand slipping to press against the small of your back, guiding you away from your door.

“I didn’t have time to change, just came from the base.” He informs you. You have to focus on the way you walk, overly conscious of how close he’s walking, the way your arm brushes his side each time you take a step, you can smell his cologne. Rich and earthy, musk with a heady bourbon finish. You spare a glance at his face, trace the proud line of his nose down to the pink lips. The 5 o’clock shadow he’s wearing makes you think he’s telling the truth. “You look beautiful.” His thumb rubs against your dress, sending a shiver down your spine. Goosebumps prickle your skin. God, you hope he doesn’t notice.

“Thank you,” You don’t mention how off guard his invitation caught you, but you sort of want to, he should know the hell he’s put you through today, “I thought this place deserved a little dressing up.”

“Nothing for me then?” Hesh asks. You glance to make sure he’s joking and find him grinning at you. Your stomach flips. You must be hungrier than you thought.

“Not after ghosting me all day,” You tell him with a smile, a joke for a joke.

“Thought you’d wanna take charge,” He tells you, he nods at your doorman, his hand itches lower, fingers just skating over the edge of your panties. His voice is low when he leans close, dripping like caramel down your spine to settle between your legs, “But if you’re happier taking orders, I’m very good at giving them.”

“Military humor.” Is all your brain can spit out to respond with. It doesn’t do anything but make Hesh hum, his hand sliding low over your ass, big and warm and absolutely tantalizing.

“Something like that.”

The only thing you remember from the car ride to the restaurant is Hesh’s hand on your thigh. You think maybe you talked about something, but mostly you’d been too focused on why your body seemed so focused on something so simple. Were you really so used to doing the seducing that you couldn’t handle when a man took the lead?

No, that wasn’t it. Plenty of the men you sugared for were assertive. All of them, at least, knew what they wanted and how to ask for it. It shouldn’t make your head spin just to feel a hand on your thigh.

It had been like this on your first date with him too, you’d forgotten all about the money because he was just so… magnetic. That’s what it is. Some background trait, some square of his shoulders, that makes people look when Hesh walks in the room. You could lose yourself in it if you aren’t careful, forget what you were here for.

A text about your electric bill snaps you out of your thoughts as Hesh discusses his reservation with the hostess. You bite the inside of your cheek.

You’re here for the money.

Hesh’s hand finds the small of your back again and you stiffen without meaning to.

“Don’t tell me you’ve dropped the seductive act already,” He teases in a low voice, leaning close. You pout your lips and tip your head to look up at him.

“You wound me, I wasn’t acting, I really am that hot.” You like the way he smiles in response, the low acknowledging hum he gives you as he guides you to follow the hostess to your table.

“I can’t argue with that.” Again the deep cadence of his voice sends goosebumps over your skin.

He pulls your chair out for you. It’s not the first time a man has done that, not even the first time Hesh has done it, you’re used to it, there’s no magic in the gesture, and yet…

You sip your water as Hesh takes his seat, ignoring him as much as you can get away with while he orders wine. It’s just because he caught you off guard with the impromptu dinner invitation. You’re off your game, you just need to slip back into the right headspace. You need to get hold of the reins again.

“So how was your day?” You ask when the waiter leaves to fetch whatever bottle Hesh decided on. You need him talking about himself, something to let you find the undesirable parts of him.

“Boring, and I doubt you want to hear about military forms all evening.” He responds easily.

“You never told me what exactly you do,” You remind him, as if you’ve just remembered yourself. He pauses, and gives you a long look, before settling his elbows on the table and leaning forward to speak in that low soothing tone.

“You’ll have to get to know me better to learn that sweetheart,” He smiles, “can’t go spilling military secrets to just anyone.”

“What?” You smile, matching his posture, you feel yourself falling into that familiar working headspace as you push your tits against the neckline of your dress, “You think I could be some foreign agent?”

“Tryin’ to seduce me aren’t you?” Hesh responds, though there’s no accusation in his tone.

“Is it working?” You ask, tipping your head. You wish he’d kiss you. He’s so close, his face just inches from yours. His eyes flick to your lips, like he can read your mind.

He hums in assent.

You squeeze your legs together under the table, stifle the breathy noise that rises in your throat as your stomach flips.

He sits back, and you’re treated to the slow drag of his eyes over you, hot and heavy on your skin, burning like fingertips as he waits for you to move. You aren’t even sure you want to, there’s a part of you that likes this, that likes being on display for Hesh. Validating in some way that attention from the rest of your daddies isn’t. Maybe it’s because he’s younger. Maybe it’s the way he leans back in his chair and tips his head, like he has all the time in the world to oogle you.

You jump back into your seat when the waiter returns with the wine.

You don’t even hear them rattle off the menu.

Nor do you put up any fight when Hesh orders for you.

You’re too conscious of the way your dress brushes your skin, the way your hair tickles against your neck, the way the warm restaurant air slides over your body with each person that passes your table. You’re too conscious of the way Hesh watches every move you make.

And yet the conversation is so easy, so effortless, that you hardly notice you’ve finished your meal.

Hesh stops in front of your building. You’d expected something different when he’d said he was taking you home. It seems you are, once again, being denied a proper end to your date. Impromptu date. You try not to let it sting.

“Thanks for the ride,” You try not to let your voice give anything away, grabbing the handle and turning to get out of the car. You don’t get far before Hesh’s hand has grabbed the back of your head and turned you back towards him, his lips sealing over yours. You exhale sharply through your nose, letting your eyes drop closed as he kisses you. His lips move against yours, an insistent push-pull that coaxes you into following, lures you into parting your lips for his tongue as it swipes over their seam.

He positively devours you, his mouth hungry and the hand on your head demanding as he licks into your mouth and twists his tongue against yours. You suck on the wet muscle testingly, and feel the satisfied groan that rumbles through his chest. It emboldens you enough to push into him, to lean your weight into the kiss as you tilt your head, your hands finding the lapels of his coat to try and holding him in place as his teeth catch your bottom lip.

You do your best to follow his lead, your hips aching with how you’ve turned towards him. All you can think about is crawling into Hesh’s lap and grinding your hips against him, feeling his big hands stroking over your curves, his deep voice murmuring in your ear. You make a small noise into the kiss, and the hand on the back of your head tightens.

Your seatbelt is already off, it’s easy to lean further across the console, to settle your hand on his thigh as you press into him. Your fingers brush the hard clothed length of his cock and your breath shudders to a stop as Hesh hisses.

His hand clamps over yours, pressing your palm against his hard cock like a lifeline, and for a brief moment you think he might fuck you in his car. You’re not opposed to it. He pulls your hand away from his lap and sets it back in your own.

“Thank you,” He tells you steadily, “this was fun.”

“Are you not-” He shakes his head, and kisses you once, chaste.

It’s like dumping cold water over your head.

“I’ll see you Sunday.” He assures you.

You don’t bother watching him drive off with how quickly you stalk back to your apartment, cheeks burning with the shame of yet another rejection.

#cod x reader #x reader #david hesh walker #hesh walker #hesh walker x reader #david walker #david walker x reader #f!reader #hesh cod #hesh call of duty #hesh ghosts #hesh x reader #sugar daddy!hesh #sugar baby!reader

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