#UPON A SECOND REREAD I GET THE JOKE

[appystruda]

Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food and of out hot eat the food?

This melted my brain i think

[nouvxllev]

Hi, just wanna say I love your stuff! I was wondering if you’d do a Jenna x reader who is the daughter of Winona Ryder and Jenna meets her on the set of Beetlejuice 2. Winona acting as a wing woman for Jenna.

head over heels, your hand over mine

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: ^ request!

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: longer than i intended it to be

a/n: first of all... tysm!!! and second of all, thank you for the request!! means alot to me and i wrote it to the best of my abilities, hope you'll like it!!!

seq. || masterlist

Shit, shit, shit...

Jenna cursed under her breath as she practically hammered down the first-floor button as if that was going to make it go faster.

She glanced over to the indicator right above the door, the numbers slowly inching towards the ground floor. Her foot kept directing her side to side in the elevator, a stressed back-and-forth pace she caught herself on all while she gripped the Beetlejuice 2 script right in her hands, the paper almost being punctured with holes and such.

Jenna could almost blame herself for this.

Actually, she does. She damned herself so much she wouldn't be surprised if she got hit by a bus, really.

It wasn't any other day you'd get a role in Beetlejuice, 2, might she add, and even landing the role of the daughter of Winona Ryder who is possibly one of the most outstanding actresses out there and a 90s icon.

And now she's just slightly fucking it up with first impressions with how she's atleast 10 minutes late to their set because she spent her entire night in reading and rereading the script over and over until she perfected her lines to the point it's probably better if she'd just make Beetlejuice herself.

When the doors slid open, Jenna bolted out until she made her way to the entrance, her hand tightly clutching that damn script and her other gripping the strap of her bag.

Fumbling with her phone to call an Uber, she couldn't help but grimace at the thousands upon thousands of texts saying that she was late and her alarm clocks repeatedly being turned on to snooze just minutes before.

Of course, this day of all days just so happened to be the day that the universe decided that it had a grudge on Jenna for whatever reason because all Ubers were somehow booked and it would probably take atleast 30 minutes for another one.

So, like the hardworking actress she is determined to get a first impression even with punctuality falling behind her, she ran.

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It wasn't long, thank-fucking-god, till Jenna got to set. She slowed her pace a little when she saw the cameras and people surrounding a particular area.

She took a moment to compose herself as she approached them, smoothing down her pants and fixing her hair all while she tried to catch her breath before possibly collapsing on the ground. The crew members spared her a glance, how comforting, even if they all had concerned looks on their faces.

Jenna always worked with such talented actors and directors, and now here she was working with Winona Ryder meanwhile she was looking like she ran a marathon on the side while going to set.

"You're here!" Winona called out, lowering the script in her hands while she offered a warm smile. "We almost thought there were some complications in your schedule."

The young actress offered a sheepish smile, embarrassment flowing in her mind as she offered a weak hand gesture. "I'm so sorry, all Ubers were somehow booked and I woke up late." She admitted before introducing herself. "I'm Jenna. Ortega." She added.

Winona chuckled, "No worries. The tech team is sorting out some equipment issues, so it's a bit of free time right now." She explained, offering a handshake. "Winona Ryder. Your mother. Well, on-screen." She joked while Jenna laughed with it.

"God, sorry if I look worn out. I really admire your work, it's all so amazing." Jenna took her hand, reciprocating the gesture. She was almost going to add something until a figure approached Winona, looking like a split-perfect resemblance of her. And oh how she did the fastest double-take in her whole life.

"Oh, right!" Winona pulled, possibly the most prettiest and gorgeous, girl Jenna has laid eyes on in her 21 years of continuous breathing by the shoulders and pushed her in front of the young actress. Now life without you suddenly looks like something she just completely wasted her precious time on.

Just by looking at Winona and how excitement reflected in her eyes, Jenna could tell how much she beamed with pride for her daughter; it made her heart swell.

"Meet my daughter, Y/n."

There were things Jenna should do when she meets someone. She introduces herself in a calm manner and maybe engage in some friendly talk with them whether if it's the most awkward-est thing in her life or one of the moments she'd like to spend forever in.

What she shouldn't do is slowly have a mid-introduction nosebleed, completely throw out the knowledge that she has the ability to speak and say words while her mouth is half-agape and her eyes wide and never blinking. This rule seems to be more strict when she's convinced she has met the love of your life.

It's safe to say that Jenna checked all the boxes on the latter.

Jenna met your gaze, and oh how that was the stupidest decision she had ever made in her entire life. She felt a blush creep up her cheeks, breath caught in her throat, she tried to speak for a second but nothing came. It was like she was drowning but in the best way possible. And also falling head over heels in the worst way possible.

It's concerning how she almost wants to drop down and marry you on the spot; she's already rehearsing her vows inside her brain.

Jenna raised her hand, a shaky one at that, to offer a handshake. "I'm Jenny," she managed to squeak out, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at fumbling her own damn name. "I mean, Jenna! Sorry, not Jenny. I'm Jenna. Jenna Ortega." Oh, fuck, please just slit my throat already.

In every bad and awkward introduction, there's always someone from the other line slightly concerned but plays with it.

Your eyes crinkled, a bright sight to see that would put all sunrises to shame, and your lips parted like how the clouds part after a gloomy day, letting out a laugh that calmed Jenna's heart almost immediately. It was still running and skipping a fuck ton of beats per second, but your laugh seemed to warm it all.

"I'm Y/n, of course." You held Jenna's faltering eye contact as you reciprocated her gesture, "I'm really only here to accompany my mom," you explained. Please stay here forever. Better yet, be with me. Jenna almost said.

You shook her hand in the most softest way possible, her palm fitting right into yours. "Can't believe I met you, honestly." Jenna heard you mutter under your breath, a squeal following it.

Oh, if falling head over heels over you was a sin, she'd gladly be the epitome of something so mortal.

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And that was only a week ago. Just imagine how much internal panic she goes through whenever she sees you now.

Jenna repeatedly cursed under her breath, staring at the reflection of herself in the mirror as she gripped the cold parts of the sink, glaring at herself in complete thought.

Almost so serious as if her mind wasn't battling with something so completely stupid she'd rather drown in self-pity and misery.

Jenna Ortega, deemed as America's #1 IT girl who practically swooned all seven continents by now, almost had a near anaphylactic shock when her hand grazed over yours and how you gave her possibly the most sweetest and soul-crushing smile with that stupidest crinkle in your eye to ever exist on this damned earth, holy fuck.

Why should she be so head over heels for you?

She lowered her head in defeat, a heavy sigh escaping her as the same image of your smile flickered in her mind, and now a stupid grin from your stupid image graced her lips.

It was only a week in being on the Beetlejuice set, and she damn near lost her mind.

You were always there, well of course you were there since you were Winona Ryder's daughter, but she didn't expect to be so obsessed with you to the point she needs to go to the bathroom to silently scream whenever she hears or sees your intoxicating smile.

It's sweet. Almost endearing to her.

As if she even has the right to even think about you in that way.

Jenna stepped outside, patting her hands dry by the hem of her shirt. her name already being called out by the directors, their voices only getting louder and louder until it dwindled down to nothing and she could only assume that Winona stopped them, it was still her break after all. She was almost like a real mother to her, a comforting one at that.

She started to take a pattern in her steps before she saw you sitting on the railings of the trailer. More importantly, Jenna's trailer.

Okay, she shouldn't have seen this as a sign from the universe that you liked her back, but she did and that was all the hope that the fate or whatever deity could do because she was too desperate and too drunk on the lack of attention and attraction you were giving her.

But how could she not do that when you look so perfect just being... you? Being everything she wanted? Needed? Just being so damn perfect almost feels like Jenna could die.

"You like my daughter, don't you."

Jenna looked behind her, the sudden voice that crept being Winona, the mother of the daughter she had been smitten for, a noticeable faint smile on her lips. It was more of a statement than a question. A fact, really.

Jenna could almost deny it if it wasn't so accurate. But what was she supposed to say? "Yes, I do like your daughter, in fact, I love her so much I would absolutely give up my very career to buy her the most expensive wedding ring to ever be created from the hands of a human, or even a Greek God perhaps, to show that she owns my entire heart, body, and soul."

Panic was evident, Winona could clearly tell by the way Jenna looked like was scramming to think up of a half-assed excuse.

"Yes—I mean, not like like. I love her, really. She's talented, hardworking, and passionate in the things she talks about. But that's really it; I love Y/n, in a friendly way." Jenna stammered. Even if she was spouting complete lies and nonsense about how she doesn't have a massive crush on you, her gaze was stuck on, of course, you yourself.

Winona arched an eyebrow, "Jenna, I know when someone is horribly in love with my daughter and who’s not."

"The both of you were always somehow joined together, even if none of you were talking. You’re always finding a reason to bring her up in a conversation even if no one was even talking about her. Also, everyone takes notice of how your gaze was always focused on Y/n. Even on scene, you couldn’t take your eyes off of her for a second."

Yeah, that seems about right.

Jenna sighed, her line of sight never laying off of you. It's amazing how you still haven't noticed she and your mother was staring at you like a bunch of stalkers.

"Y/n deserves someone like her, someone in her league," she turned around, now walking in the opposite direction to her original one. She almost sounded like a teenage boy who realized they couldn't get with the popular girl. "She looks like someone even from the heavens above couldn’t fathom they created her from their own mind and hands."

Winona's expression softened as she caught up to Jenna, now walking beside her. "If you, The Jenna Ortega, fail to get her attention and love then it's all over for us." She never heard someone talk so romantic about her daughter, it's truly unfair how the ones who love the most always fall short.

Jenna's steps slowed, her body slumping against the fall as her gaze was fixed on the ground. God, why was she acting like this over you?

The young actress nodded, her hands going up to her face and sliding them down as she spoke, "She's like this incredible and unattainable dream you want to continue after you wake up, Winona." She mumbled through her hands, "Y/n's gorgeous, gentle, charming, and just… perfect." She let go of her face, her hands now on her sides. "It's intimidating just by looking at her, knowing she's the essence of beauty and perfection. Like, how do you compete with that? Overall be someone who she wants to stick by her side?"

The actress observed the young one, Jenna's head down and fidgeting with her rings. Winona could almost say that this was the most vulnerable sight she ever saw from her. "You don't have to match her perfection, let alone measure yourself up to that; you just need to be the missing piece she didn't know she needed. "

Jenna took a deep breath, her head slowly rising, "I just don't want to mess it up. She deserves someone as awesome as her, and if she ever likes me back, I'm afraid of waking up and realizing I'm not enough for her to be someone she loves."

Winona tilted her head, crossing her arms, "Tell you what, I don't know much about my daughter now. She's not closed off, but she isn't open either." She could see how Jenna flicked her head upwards, listening attentively. "But I do know that she's been watching all of your movies and shows up to this point."

Jenna's eyes widened in surprise. She doesn't wanna take any risks, but she doesn't wanna lose any chances either. "She... she has?"

Winona nodded, a soft and warm smile playing on her lips, just like the one you always have if not more comforting.

"I could never hear the end of it. She says you have this genuine charm whenever you speak, you're calm but you're also being true to yourself. Y/n admires you so much, I almost get sick of it," she laughed that pulled a chuckle from Jenna. "You're perfect in her eyes, but that's not what she likes about you. She likes you because you're authentic, yourself." She reached out for Jenna's shoulders, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "I'll be your wingman. I'm sure you're the perfect girl for my daughter."

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And that was maybe two to three months ago.

Now Jenna's thinking that you might be the most oblivious person to ever roam this entire globe. She's been dropping hints everywhere you go and you still wouldn't catch up that she has feelings for you!

Ever since Jenna got into Winona's wing, she knew everything that makes you happy. Your music taste, what type of flowers you like, what type of outings you like, clothes, scents, foods, colors, even legos, just basically everything under the sun she gave to you within a heartbeat.

Jenna gives you flowers everyday, hell even bouquets if she's feeling fancy. Reads and writes you letters, and ever since Winona gave her your number, she's been sending you voicemails of your favorite songs every morning as some goodmorning text. She's been nothing but romantic to you! Was she just missing something?

The only thing that really progressed was something of strangers to friends. The two of you were as close as ever to the point if one of you were needed, somebody probably would need to surgically remove both of you.

But that was it! No nothing, just friends. It was selfish for Jenna to want something more when she has the love of her life close to her as a friend, sure, but she needed just a little bit more before she mentally goes insane.

"I mean, come on!" Jenna complained to Winona, sitting across from the other chair just right beside her trailer, script in her hands but she was paying more attention to Jenna. "Flowers, letters, voicemails… I'm practically screaming 'I like you' at this point." She slumped over the table, "or maybe she's just really ignoring them."

"I think you're thinking too deeply, Jenna," Winona stated, looking over to somewhere far, "maybe you should confess. She's right there."

Jenna was about to stand up and say it all out and die in a hole if she gets rejected until she realized you were wearing something so... fucking gorgeous? stunning? breathtaking? ethereal? She needed a stronger word than all words combined.

It wasn't your everyday casual wear, in fact, it was something you'd wear to go on a date. A date that meant something, a date that you'd go with another person and to confess their love.

Oh, don't fucking tell her she was too slow to confess and some random dude confessed earlier.

"I don't..." Jenna stammered, she could sense that agonizing feeling of her heart sinking, a stinging pain but it was mixed with immense pressure, like she was almost drowning. "I don't really think it's the right time."

Winona let out a sympathetic sigh, "she did tell me that she was going somewhere important." She waved in your direction, grabbing your attention. "Y/n!"

Jenna didn't know it was possible to drown without having any bodies of water near you, now she was fully experiencing it by how her heart sank even further as she heard Winona's words.

She shouldn't be surprised, after all, somebody actually had the guts and mindset to actually confess to you personally without having to hide behind a facade and without having to drop a fuck ton of hints instead of saying it out loud.

It stung. Thinking that someone out there was that one for you. And how that someone was never Jenna. But it was sweet. She winced.

Jenna couldn't shake the pang and sting of disappointment as she watched to walk over to Winona, a smile on your lips like you've met the most wonderful person to ever be in your life. She couldn't read if it was real, and she hoped to God it was fake.

"What's with the get-up?" Winona asked, standing up while giving Jenna the look.

"Going on a date with this guy, he asked me." You smiled, yet again, but it was even brighter.

Yeah, she figured. When did she even assume that you liked women anyway?

"Can I borrow your car, mom, please?" You asked of her, your puppy eyes going in action while you mentally crossed your fingers.

Jenna wasn't the one to brag, but she could drive a car! Not that idiot guy who couldn't even take whatever vehicle to fetch her as a nice gesture. Hell, it was a date for godsakes!

Winona sighed, glancing between Jenna and you. "Sure, you can borrow the car," she stated before digging into her pockets and fetching her car keys, plotting it down to your hands, "but make sure to bring it back in one piece."

Jenna bit her lip, suppressing the urge to completely pull herself out of her chair and scream 'I love you so goddamn much, Y/n! Can't you see I'm the one for you and not some guy who couldn't even go the mile to drive you to the damn date!?' But no. Instead, she stayed in her seat, nodded as a goodbye, and forced yet another smile.

"Thanks for the flowers by the way, Jenna! I should really pay you back sometime." You chuckled, before hugging her head as your way of goodbye. "I'll tell you all about it when I get home."

"Don't worry about the flowers. No need to pay me back," Jenna replied, doing her damn best to keep her tone light and her knuckles not so light. As you hugged her, Jenna couldn't help but savor the moment, imagining that it wasn't a goodbye to go off on some date with some random dude but rather a lovely gesture. "I'll be waiting to hear all about it."

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That was atleast three to five hours ago.

Jenna never knew how a 2$ caesar salad bought from a suspicious vendor on the sidewalks could be so depressing but still mock her on how she just lost the love of her life to someone who actually had the guts to confess until she actually experienced it.

It was a slow day on set. Probably because it was already so late at night. There were still some scenes being recorded, but most of it was Winona's.

So along those hours when Jenna wasn't with you or she couldn't text you through the phone, all she could really do was stare from afar and hope that you'd magically have some miraculous change of mind mid-date and maybe you'll soon believe and realize Jenna was the one for you after all.

Of course, life wasn't like a damn movie and that damn date was still going to happen no matter what she does.

Winona sat beside Jenna, offering a sympathetic look at how Jenna was poking around her lettuce. "You know that's her quote-on-quote I don't really give two shits outfit but I still need to look good for a requirement that is people's feelings."

Jenna let go of her fork, damn even it looked sad. "But she looks beautiful."

Winona could almost roll her eyes if not for the young actress wallowing in her own thoughts. "It's because you're head over heels for her, Jenna. She could wear some obnoxious color-clashing clothes and she'd still look like a goddess for you."

Jenna sighed, picking up her fork again and halfheartedly stabbing a folded lettuce leaf. "I mean, don't you?" she asked, glancing at Winona. "You're her mother."

Winona shrugged, "Her clothes, her choice, but I still absolutely would not." She laughed, and her smile brightened when Jenna allowed a smile to crack through her lips.

Jenna could almost face-plant herself into the salad bowl if not for a notification pinging in Winona's phone. A notification that Winona only applied for you.

"...Or you could tell her that she's much better off with you rather than some guy that stood her up." Winona showed the phone to Jenna, your message illuminating on the screen.

y/n

mom can u pick me up? karaoke room 217 stood up on me lol come quick, pls. thx

Jenna would've been lying if she said she wasn't jumping, screaming, throwing up in literal joy.

Well, of course, she was mad that you of all people were stood up, but she was semi-glad that you were.

Jenna's urgency was visible as she scrambled to get out of her seat, grabbing her bag with such hast and making a sudden beeline for the exit.

"Tell her that you can't go! I wanna surprise her," She yelled to Winona, her excitement in her voice echoing through the room. It's almost weird and insane how happy she was about how you were stood up.

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You waited for 2 hours.

It wasn't disappointing. You already knew it was just some sort of dare or a prank that one of his friends pulled, but you showed up anyway. Not like because you wanted to play with his feelings; you couldn't do that if you didn't have any.

In fact, you had feelings for Jenna.

Ever since she showed up on your screen, she was the only actress you could ever think about. She was charming, alluring, the only person who could make the daylight so dark if her smile was out of place.

You didn't know her, personally then, but you loved her. You were willing to start wars with the world, may it be against you or may all odds and fate oppose you, you’d do everything for her even if it kills you to be someone who would take all her hidden suffering and plead for tears with your palms locked and thrown away.

And now that you were working with her on set, you couldn't help but be someone you're not. All thanks to you and your mother on reluctantly giving up on the idea of not bringing you to set. You wanted to confess, you really did. It was just a silly little crush like you'd always have but this one with Jenna seemed real and your life would've ended if your feelings were rejected.

Though, even after all that, Jenna was the one you wanted to be with. The one you hoped would walk through that damn door and hug you until your worries and thoughts all disappeared, only met with her voice and her comforting arms.

That would've been a fleeting memory, wishful thinking. That is until the very girl that made you go insane rushed into the room.

What the fuck.

She was exhausted, you could tell by her chest rising and falling as she caught her breath, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of her; looking like she had gone the extra mile and maybe even drove a car on the way instead of running, just to be there with you. You could almost start laughing and be that snarky person you've always been to her if not for everything else fading into the background until Jenna was the only one left.

Without hesitation, she pulled you into a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around your body as she tightened the hug as if you'd die if she ever let go of your body. The warmth of her touch, the comfort in her soul, and her very being brought something so grand as you hugged her back. You feared that letting go would mean losing her forever, and she thought the same way.

"I love you." She murmured on your shoulders, closing her eyes. You notice how her voice cracked with vulnerability and almost sorrow as you tightened your hold on her.

"I love you," she whispered yet again, as if you didn't hear her the firs time. "I love you, I love you, I just love you." She dug her head under your neck, her breath warm on your skin as you waited for her to finish.

You could feel Jenna's heartbeat against your chest, fast and beating while it synced with your own. "I love you, Y/n. You don’t know how many lifetimes I would kill myself for you to look into my soul, everything beneath, and even the darkest parts of my heart so then you’ll see how I perceive you to be everything I look for. I can't understand how you don't understand how much you mean to me. How much your laughter was something I didn't know would be the cure to whatever terminal illness I had in life, your actions being my motivation, your soul being my guiding light, and your smile being something so bright that not even the sun could beat its glory."

Jenna slowly pulled away from you, her eyes searching yours for a reaction. The room was always so silent, but it never felt like it was the funeral of sound itself.

"I'm sorry—That—That wasn't... I didn't—" she stammered, her body already getting up and pulling away from you.

Gently, you reached out and cupped her face with your hands, your thumbs brushing away the newly formed tears that had welled up in her eyes and dripped from her cheeks. You could feel the warmth of her skin beneath your touch, her freckles, and everything that made Jenna her was right beneath your palm. You want nothing but to cherish it.

You couldn't think of a reply. You could, but it would never beat the confession Jenna had for you. It was more than a mere confession, but something out of a book that would put every writer to shame.

"Is this okay?" Your eyes searched for Jenna's consent in hers as you leaned in ever so slightly, her breath lingering on your skin until Jenna's lips met yours in a hesitant, gentle kiss. The touch of her soft lips against yours sent a shiver down your spine, her hands coming up to cradle your face as she melted into you while your own hands found their way to her waist, pulling her closer as the kiss deepened.

Life felt like something you wasted without her lips touching yours. How you felt everything and how you were everything under her soft touch, her presence. It was if every moment before her had been leading to this one. Every heartbeat, every breath, every time you've experienced something happy, sad, or even something conflicted was building up to the moment your lips finally met hers. You felt whole, alive, reassured, and comforted.

Her touch felt like a warm embrace from something so indestructible, a star so far away that only you could see it shine from afar but yet you could feel every inch of its presence.

Then it stopped. The both of you pulled back.

But your heart never did.

"You know I asked for your mom to be my wingman."

"Please don't destroy this moment we have by mentioning my mom, Jenna. I'm serious."

Jenna chuckled, her eyes twinkling, "give her some credit. I never would've confessed to you without her."

You couldn't help but smile, realizing she was still the Jenna you fell in love with. "I guess, but I don't really want to talk about my mom after I just got stood up and then kissed the girl I love."

Jenna's chuckle turned into a soft giggle, her hand finding it's way to your palm as she intertwined her fingers with yours. "Also, for the record, that guy was an idiot."

You nodded after shared laughter. With everything that's going around between the two of you, you almost miss how Winona arrived just in time. Standing by the door with a smile on her face.

But even with Jenna's hand over yours, she'd still fall head over heels for you.

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just some fuckass aftermath dialogues:

W: "You finally confessed." J: "Did she tell you?" W: "Well for one she's been awfully cheery and gave me a questioning I love you mom and offered me to go shopping with her."

[imtherain]

I Wish I Could Tell You I Love You

Welp, I was supposed to be doing homework and got caught in some feelings, so this happened. Sorry it's not the sex pollen fic, but I swear it's still coming (hah)

loganxreader

word count: 2k and I didn't really edit it/reread it so suffer

Warning? it got away from me so my original plot shifted. I used "you" as the pronouns this time. You have unspecified powers and self esteem issues, Logan is sick of your shit but Tired about it. Takes place during "logan is a teacher at the mansion" times, vaguely angst with a happy ending I guess. idk why all my Logan fics are sad/sad adjacent

[Masterlist]

[More Logan Angst] (Forced Closeness)

[More Logan but make it not angsty] (Why We Wake)

[Logan Masterlist]

Here you go

“Oh, hey, Logan,” You said as you stumbled upon him, sitting in one of the lounge rooms. You had come looking for somewhere quiet to read that wasn’t your bedroom. Why he was sitting there in the dark, you didn’t know.

He looked up at you and it seemed to take him a few seconds to figure out who you were.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Recognition finally sparked behind his eyes. You were glad you had only turned on the two small lamps in the room and nothing brighter. It was the time of day for soft light, ambient warmth to sit with.

“Want me to leave?” You offered, not really sure what was going on. Plus, you and Logan didn’t find yourselves alone very often and you were worried if you stayed, you’d say something stupid.

“No, ‘s fine,” Logan said. He looked you over, noticed you had your fancy little ereader (that he may or may not have put under the staff tree marked ‘from Santa’ for you). He noticed you were dressed way down, far more casually than you normally did in ‘public’. You were simply wearing pajama pants and a cozy top. Normally, you tried to wear ‘real clothes’ if you ever found yourself somewhere kids could potentially see you. Yet here you were, soft cotton, no jewelry or makeup or anything else. If he was a speculating man, he probably would speculate that you were wearing a soft bra underneath for some semblance of decency, but it wasn’t the one you’d been wearing earlier when he’d seen you at the staff meeting.

“Why were you sitting here in the dark?” You attempted to tease Logan. A smirk almost fought its way to his lips.

“I was just sitting here and then it got dark, hadn’t bothered to get up yet,” He explained. He stretched then, as if he just remembered he hadn’t moved at all in a long time.

You watched the way he flexed as his arms went over his head and his eyes closed with that relief that was specific to a good stretch. You hoped he didn’t catch the way your cheeks were warm when you saw his shirt ride up over his abs.

It was the age old story. You had worked at the mansion for a while now, Logan had been here longer. He was always somehow himself, even when he was getting badgered by the kids, or when Scott got on his nerves. You adored that about him, he was always entirely himself. Even if at first, you and he really hadn’t talked much, apart from pleasantries. But time passed and suddenly he shot you winks when he caught your eye from across the hall, he made sure there was a seat for you near him at dinner, he always asked you about your day, and remembered your birthday…

“You good though?” You asked. Something about how Logan seemed to reanimate when you entered the room made you worry.

“Peachy,” Logan said. “What about you? It’s pretty late for you to be wandering the halls,” Your ears got warm at the idea that he knew your schedule because he cared about you. But of course he cared about you, he was your friend. Plus, he liked to keep track of people coming and going. It didn’t mean anything.

“Yeah, I was feeling a little cooped up in my room, so I decided to find a nice little place to read until the feeling went away,” You told him. Logan hummed. “I even put a bra back on, can you believe it?” You chuckled at your own joke. Logan also knew that you refused to run around in what you lovingly called ‘a state of undress’.

“I mean, you didn’t have to do that,” Logan managed a smirk this time.

“I wasn’t about to run around the mansion with my titties flapping in the breeze,” You said before you could think about what you were saying. Logan chuckled at that.

“Is that your mutant power? Magic tits?” He asked. It had been a long standing joke that you didn’t tell Logan what your powers were.

“I mean, every baby/toddler/child I've ever cuddled falls asleep on them, so maybe,” You moved to sit in the armchair next to his. The chairs were angled together so you could still chat. You folded one leg under you and fiddled with the case on your ereader. 

“I could use some of that kind of magic,” Logan mused.

“Why? You’ve got a baby I don’t know about?” You challenged him. He looked at you for a long moment before he shrugged.

“Maybe I do,” 

“I bet Scott’s the dad,” You shot back and Logan actually snorted at that.

“You’re not funny,” 

“Your snort begs to differ,” Sometimes it was easy to be near him. Easy to simply exist as two things with beating hearts and stories they didn’t want to tell. Easy to be friends.

“I have trouble sleeping,” Logan admitted. “That’s what I’d use your magic for,” Something warm in his eyes found its way into your chest and made it hard to breathe.

Just the idea that he’d think about you in anything close to a sexual manner seemed absurd. There was no way you were his type, if your past experiences were to be believed, you were no one’s type. Anyone who had ever tried to express romantic interest, not that there had been many, gave up on the idea within a month. Most never asked for a second date.

Most never bothered with it in the first place.

“If that was my mutation, which it isn’t, I could start a whole business, don’t you think?” You try to keep the joke going, enjoying the moment too much to let it pass.

“A business? Like you’d go around and let people fall asleep on your tits?” Logan scoffed at the idea as if it offended him.

“Sure, why not. I wouldn’t have to be naked or anything, and I’d choose my clientele very carefully. If you play your cards right, I could even hire you as my like… bouncer. In case anyone got any bright ideas. I’d give you… 10%?” 

“I’d want more than that,” 

“I’m not going higher than 15,” I smirked. Logan looked for a moment like he was going to roll his eyes, but all at once the mirth faded and he looked straight ahead instead. He sighed like he was trying to deflate the tractor tire in his chest at the thought of you selling yourself at all, even if it was just some stupid joke.

“Too bad that’s not your mutation then, huh?” His voice was gruff and you settled into your chair, feeling admonished.

You were sure Logan would get up and leave shortly after, he often did when the conversation around him died. But for some reason, he just stayed there, staring at the wall that made up the space of the two large windows that overlooked part of the garden. It was a beautiful night, summer not quite gone, fall not quite cold. 

But here Logan was, just stared at the wallpaper instead.

“You sure you’re ok, Logan?” You ask. You’d reread the same page three times, worrying too much about him to comprehend the story.

“Hmm?” Logan hummed. “Yeah, ‘m fine,” 

“Are you falling asleep with your eyes open?” You pressed, trying to sound like you weren’t worried.

“Come here for a minute,” His face turned to you and it almost looked like he was staring through you. Only, somehow, he was looking at you too. Like maybe he wanted to look into your head and figure out what he needed to say to make you understand. “Please,” He extended his hand to you and, while you weren’t sure exactly what it was in his voice that drew you in, you let it bring you close enough to take his hand. 

He easily pulled you from your chair and into his lap, much to your chagrin. 

“Logan!” You tried to chide him, but at the same time, it felt nice to be close to him.

“Just,” You felt him sigh as he gave into whatever demons were plaguing him. “Just let me hold you for a minute, would you?” Logan laid his forehead on your shoulder, his arms closed around you, holding you to him.

“Ok,” You whispered into his hair. Your arms folded around his neck, one hand coming up to cradle the back of his head. It felt natural to sink your fingers into his hair and scratch gently at his scalp.

Part of you wanted to ask what this was, what it meant. But you were too afraid to break the moment. Too afraid to hear him say it meant nothing at all.

But, as all things must, the moment ended anyway. No matter how much you wanted it to last and last and last.

Logan leaned back against the plush of the chair so he could look up at you. There was a soft smile on his face, like he’d finally seen the sunset he’d been waiting for. You blushed under his scrutiny.

“What?” You chuckle nervously.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Was his reply and you shook your head, knowing he didn’t really mean it. Why would he? How could he? You knew what you looked like.

“Stop it,” You were about to make some comment about how he wouldn’t be stupid or blind enough to mean that when you felt his hand move from your side to your cheek. The action paused whatever joke you were aiming to hide behind.

“No, you stop,” Logan said, almost sounding angry. But his hand on your face was gentle. “Everytime I try to love you, you shut me out, and yet you still stay here and let me do it… why?” 

“It’s easier to make jokes,” You said before you could stop yourself. “I mean, we’re friends, and you tease me sometimes, and…” Every excuse you normally told yourself, every way you’d phrased ‘of course he doesn’t want to love you’ to hurt yourself with, every joke you’d made to keep him at arms length, suddenly crumbled under the realization of what he’d said. 

“And?” Logan pressed, his hand returning to your thigh to mirror the other. You couldn’t look him in the eye, even sitting on his lap, his hands both rubbing soothing circles on your plush thighs, you weren’t sure you could face the real elephant in the room.

But something told you to face it anyway.

“And… I don’t know how to tell you I love you,” your voice was small in the dimly lit room. It wasn’t hard to pretend there was no one and nothing outside of that one old armchair you were both sharing. “I wish I did, but I just… don’t,” You added lamely. Your eyes darted up to his long enough to catch the way his entire face softened at your confession. 

“Sweetheart,” Logan’s voice was almost a moan. When you only stared at him, experiencing the horror of being perceived, he chuckled. “I want to kiss you now,” 

“You do?” You wanted to kick yourself in the head for even asking.

“Mhmm,” His hands tugged you closer, digging into the meat of your thighs just enough. You just nodded, knowing if you opened your mouth something else lame would fall out. With a smile, Logan closed the small distance between you and covered your mouth with his.

As your arms closed around him again, and the kiss deepened, you realized it didn’t really matter if you knew how to tell him you loved him. Because you could show him. In the way you teased him, in the way that you’d hold his hand after breakfast tomorrow, in the way that your face would always get warm when he looked at you too long.

In the way that you kissed him right here and right now and every day going forward if you could.

And he may have looked at you like you were the sunset he’d longed for, but the sun only ever sets so that it can rise again tomorrow. So you could always show him how much you loved him again tomorrow.

[Masterlist]

[Logan Masterlist]

Likes/comments/reblogs directly correlate to how much fanfiction/fanart you see ;)

[solitaszn]

curtains | ted lasso ✧˚ · .

Pairing: Ted Lasso x fem!reader

Summary: under the employment of one trent crimm at afc richmond, you are the second American hire and only female journalist at the club starting to make headlines following the head coach being the first.

Warnings: cursing

WC: 980

Author's note: This is really my first multi part fic so be gentle!

"Why does AFC Richmond keep hiring Americans when it is on the brink of relegation?"

Ted stares at the article in dismay and then looks at your desk from the window. He gets up and shuts down his laptop, making his way to your office. You hear his gentle knocking on the glass. your eyes brimmed with tears and your head in your hands as you reread the words "hiring Americans" and "relegation". 

"Uhm, come in, Ted!" you say, blinking away your tears.

"I saw the email, I’m awful sorry about that," he said.

"No it’s fine; you know how the journalists are here, especially at The Sun."

"Yeah. So hot-headed," he joked

You giggled; it wasn’t even that funny, and you still laughed so hard. It’s probably the first time Ted got you to genuinely laugh since you started becoming an assistant to Trent (now independent), who wanted to get an American’s eyes and edits on his writing for his book about Ted Lasso. Ever since you got to Richmond, you have been reserved and quiet in the office you and Trent shared, which he rarely used. only there to follow him when he had questions about certain American mannerisms that he did not want to ask Ted or Beard about, not wanting to spoil details about said book.

"I’m glad to see you laughing again." It’s nice to have you around; I hope you know that." He winked at you and walked back to his desk.

He caught a glimpse of you smiling and being giddy, with your face turning a shade of pink. Ted didn’t realize he had stopped doing his work and started staring at you until Roy stood in the doorway and made it obvious.

"Put your fucking tongue back in your mouth, or I’ll tell her to get a curtain for that office, you freak."

You said a muffled, "Roy?"

"What?" He’s the only person he tolerates in the locker room office. People often thought the two of you looked related until you spoke. Your dark hair and eyes, and the fact that you both often wore black. You wore it just to be professional, but he did because he couldn’t stand being in color.

"Do you think I’m bringing down the club for being American?"

Dumbfounded, he replied, "Who the fuck said that?"

"The Sun?"

"And why the fuck would you listen to those fucking pricks?" They don’t fucking work anywhere near as hard as you do."

It’s true that although you were technically an assistant journalist for Trent, you took it upon yourself to do other things around the club for the team. often on coffee runs, helping Will, answering emails for Trent, or really anything you could keep yourself busy with. It didn’t help with your personal life, though; you overfilled your day so much that when you get home, you’re too exhausted to do anything else.

"Thanks Roy."

He grunted and left.

You finally clocked out and headed to your car when you caught Ted on his phone next to it.

"Oh, hey, Ted, what are you still doing here?"

"Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink or something."

"Ted, I would love to, trust me, but I’m just exhausted, and I’m seriously considering just sleeping in my car."

"I mean, heck, I could drive you home if you don’t mind."

You threw him your keys. Unlocking it, he opened the door, still forgetting that it wasn’t his side. Him still leaving the door open for you to get in and jogging to the other side.

"I’d have to say this is the most normal car in this parking lot; there are too many fast Italian ones here," he says as he drives out of the lot.

You scoffed, "You couldn’t make me buy one, I need a Subaru."

"I immediately could tell you weren’t from around here with this janky thing."

"Janky? Were you expecting me to pull in with a huge Ford F-150, Ted?"

"I would’ve liked you to, would make me feel right at home."

"No way you had one!" I wouldn’t have pegged you for a truck guy."

"Yep, a huge navy blue one, had a Kansas State Shockers sticker on the corner of the back window. That’s how I could tell which one was mine.” You could tell he was so happy that he could talk about the American college experience with someone other than a Beard.

"How long did you coach at WSU?"

"Five years took us all the way to the national championship."

You yawned in between words, "That’s amazing, Ted."

"God, I hope I’m not boring you," he laughed.

"You’re so mean! and you missed the turn, just take this left, and we can get into the parking garage."

"Ooh, a parking garage, that’s mighty fancy” he chirped.

"It’s what happens when you don’t spend $400k on a car."

You both pulled into your spots. Once you were parked, you gathered your things. "Here we are, home sweet home," Ted said enthusiastically.

"Actually, Ted, sorry, do you mind if you walk me to my flat? It’s just that it’s late and dark, so I-"

"No, yeah, of course, no need to apologize,” he said, closing the car door that was followed by two beeps echoing off the cement walls.

"Thanks, and thank you so much for bringing me home; you really didn’t have to."

"It was my pleasure, darlin'," he winked.

Surely you hadn’t heard him right. Darlin’? Was he flirting with you? You walked to the door and swiped your security card to get into your building. You turned to hold the door for Ted; you hadn’t noticed how much he towered over you. His six-foot stature made you question how you also hadn’t noticed his shoulders and strong arms. Were his eyes always that warm brown?

chapter 2

[semischarmed]

Bookstore

I chuckled leading Ryan down the steps.

“Cmon, should just be down this alley”.

It always rained in the city, but the clouds seemed to be just a bit darker, the water pouring just a bit heavier down the alleyway. Neon signs from outcast shops and suspicious eyes peered across window covered blinds.

Ryan was clearly uncomfortable. “Look dude, this place doesn’t even show up on a map. You sure they’re not gonna harvest our organs or something?”

I laughed.

“Sash wanted another book from this store for her birthday, right?” The corners of his mouth pulled, confirming. “Same kind that I got her for Christmas”? This time, a nod. “Well, you can’t really get these kinds of books from a regular store… you have to know a guy” I winked, running my hand over his shoulder and pulling him close to me in a joking fashion.

The smell was divine. The man must have just had a gym session before coming to me. Among the scent of the rain and city, his musk penetrated, clinging to my nose. An earthy, almost acrid scent graced my lungs. I squeezed him tighter to me, involuntarily. A second later, I felt another scent permeate my soul. It filled me with indescribable envy and dizzying lust, and I felt my mouth salivate at what could only be a gust of the damp air from inside his shorts, escaping through a small crack from when I had pushed his body closer to mine. I realized far too late that I was clinging onto him.

His face was not amused. Ryan grunted and distanced himself slightly, avoiding invoking the past few moments between us.

Ryan grimaced before sighing, cutting the silence. “Yeah man, I guess. Honestly, I don’t even know if it’s worth it at this point. He pondered for a moment, thinking of the hours she spent reading and rereading from that old book, transfixed, mesmerized. This was definitely what he needed to take their relationship to the next step. “Of course it is.” He seemed to mentally note.

Sasha was always really good at attracting amazing guys. Kind, charming, guys straight out of movies seemed almost drawn to her. Of course, they were never really her type- she always seemed to like them a little nerdy.

That all changed with Ryan. Just after Christmas, he caught sight of her reading from an old book at a cafe, offered her a drink and a chat, and for the first time in her life, she reciprocated his advances.

Ryan was patient and gentle. He often brought flowers, asked about her day, took her on dates. I felt a bit of resentment from him, as Sasha didn’t seem particularly romantic, and often invited me to their dates, almost bringing Ryan to me for “approval”. He seemed to take it all in stride though, remaining friendly and cordial and often including me in their conversations.

“We’re here” I stated flatly. In front of us stood a dingy black door, dimly lit by a small, flickering bulb. I stared at Ryan for a reaction. He gulped, before calmly placing his hands on the door. It nudged slightly, whining. He gestured for me to help him.

We both pushed into the creaky door that seemed to lead into an infinite void. Blackness swallowed us both before the door slammed shut and the room seemed to illuminate.

The bookstore seemed larger on the inside, row upon endless row decorated with looming shelves and ornate books. A gentle, woody scent lingered through the air, pulling us deeper.

“So.. how did you even find out about this place?” He asked as stared in awe at each shelf.

This time, I shrugged, holding a smile. “I know a guy”.

Ryan inspected each book closer- not a single one numbered or lettered. He pulled a stool from nearby before staring again at one of the nondescript books.

“None of these have any titles?” He asked.

I hid another smile as I innocently asked him to try one.

As he pulled a book from the shelf, he seemed to be acutely aware of the dust accumulating on the spine. He brushed the spine slowly before the title of the book revealed itself: “Ryan Weathers”. Ryan looked back at me, incredulous.

“W-what the fuck”? he laughed gently. He opened the page to inspect the words, and I watched as dread began to paint his face. “This… this is me… this is my story” he gently said. Without warning, he immediately began to thumb through the pages to look at the end of the book, only to be met with blank pages. He frowned as he continued slower this time, working backwards until he finally found the last written page. “Ryan entered the bookshop”.

———

“Weird”, I stated. This time, I couldn’t pull my smile. “Can I see?“ I unsheathed a pen from my pocket in anticipation.

I quickly pulled the Ryan book from his grasp and greedily wrote a few lines. Ryan turned back in horror and stared. He could no longer move.

I quickly showed him the results on the pages of his book. “Ryan sat still, awaiting his friend’s orders”. I scribbled a few more words, and huffed in slight heat.

A bead of sweat formed on Ryan’s temple, as he slowly began to undress. I followed suit, placing my bag on the floor and pulling out a book.

“Dude… dude… what is this?” He asked softly.

I pulled a book from behind me- Sarah’s book, waving it in front of his face with a smile. I inched my naked form closer to his “Sarah really picked a good one, didn’t she?”I leaned up to Ryan, pulling his naked form around me and moaning as I wrapped his arms over my shoudlers.. “Thank you for getting a nice pump before coming here.” Ryan couldn’t move as I began to caress each of his biceps, running my tongue across and picking up his post-workout funk. Divine.

I slammed my face into his armpit, smearing a thin layer of his acrid essence across myself. I huffed as I continued. I intertwined our hands together and wrote a few more words onto his book. “Fuck bro, we’re gonna smell so nice.” We said in unison.

I grabbed another book off the shelf- this time it had my name. Ryan’s eyes worriedly scanned my pages for a clue as to what I’d do next. I used our intertwined hands to pull another item off my bag and held it up for both of us to see- this time it was a pair of scissors.

I gingerly cut a few pages off my book and looked expectantly at Ryan. Despite being unable to move or speak, his eyes relayed volumes. They were wide and hate-filled, and seemed to threaten me. I almost stopped at that moment in fear of what he’d do to me after he broke free. The fear was unfounded though, as he could only calmly sit in silence and watch in terror.

I continued, pulling myself up to his damp form and grinding our bodies together. Of course, Ryan would not reciprocate, but it was enough run my brain feral in lust. I rushed even faster as I could feel Ryan’s now-damp warm body breathing heavier in rage. I continued until I felt a pull from myself and wave after wave of cum splattered among both or bodies. I swiped a bit, huffing in heat as I ran it across his mouth.

Ryan’s eyes squinted in sheer disgust as he was forced to taste me, before I pulled my finger from his mouth. “Need both to complete the ritual” I laughed. Ryan could only looked shocked, likely thinking the main event was over.

I grabbed a few of my pages and hastily smeared our saliva and cum mixture across Ryan’s page. His eyes widened as I stuck my pages into his book, glued by our concoction. Ryan’s eyes rolled to the back of his head slightly and he felt is body push closer to mine involuntarily.

When his eyes opened, He saw our now-shared arm flexing. I reran my tongue across my new Ryan-bicep, moaning as we both felt the touch of my tongue. We were connected now. I looked back and saw pleading this time from Ryan’s eyes.

Ignoring his silent pleas, I pulled another batch of pages from my book, swiping them in the mixture of sweat and my cum across both our bodies before pasting them on Ryan’s book.

Again, Ryan’s eyes pulled back and I began to feel his vascular legs as my own.

I ran our shared arm across my new legs, shivering in shrill delight at the feel of Ryan’s musculature.

Rabid with ecstasy, I could no longer controlled myself and started tearing page after page of my own book and interweaving it into Ryan’s. He began to vocalize soft protests as he felt his flesh betray him and begin to encapsulate me. I almost drowned in the scent of Ryan’s thick musk, interweaving and dulling my senses.

Before I realized, I had cleaned our sweaty body of my cum, and was left with half my book. I could still feel Ryan’s other arm finish swallowing my own inside him as we continued to slowly meld. Drunk and mad with the power of Ryan’s body becoming mine, I leaned my sweaty back to his cheek, feeling the safety of his warm body lull me to sleep.

———

When I awoke I could feel the furious Ryan next to me, desperately trying to move our arms and legs in vain. “Sorry bro” I lazily stated. My words now felt like a mix of Ryan’s and my own- a testament to how far combined we were. “Got lost in our sauce”. I chuckled with his laugh.

I could feel Ryan’s penis poking inside me, its imprint hanging limply on my belly. He caught sight of it too, and began to slightly move his head in protest as he could feel my thoughts relay what would happen next-

I gingerly used our new hands across my belly, pinching and prodding until I could feel Ryan’s dick imprint securely through my flesh.

With a wide smile and a moan, I began to use my own flesh as a sleeve over his dick, rubbing back and forth and thickening. At this, Ryan couldn’t help but moan as well. His head shook back and forth next to mine, clearly attempting to avoid the rush of our joint masturbation session.

He thrashed in vein as I felt his dick quickly stiffen and begin to prod into my belly.

I could barely keep my mental clarity from my senses being bombarded with lust and bliss. With shaking hands, I guided Ryan’s arms to gently squeeze and slot his thickening dick over mine.

At that, we both vocalized a lustful “FUCK”.

The heat and the sensations were unreal, as his dick continued to grow inside of mine, I felt myself push into my absolute limit. I screamed another fuck as I continued to pump with my Ryan arms, feel his cum exit my piss slit.

The feeling of Ryan’s warm batter coming out of me was unreal, and I barely escaped another bought of unconsciousness. Ryan was not so lucky, and I felt his sweaty head slump down next to mine. I hummed gently in his voice as I continued to work, this time using Ryan’s own cum to glue the rest of my pages into his book.

I watched my flesh begin to discolor and shape, following the contours for Ryan’s own. His torso began to push through my own and in a treating sensation I felt my flesh reconnect- now showing Ryan’s body from torso-down.

I shivered in shrill delight- this body… our body… *my* body. *I* was Ryan now-

I felt his sweaty head stir awake, and his cheek lean into mine. From his face, I could feel the corners of his lips pull into a smile. Ryan began huffing as his own face began to encapsulate my own, and the last bit of resistance of the old Ryan- small tear in our right ear slowly dribble down our cheek. I wiped the drool off our shared mouth and promptly collapsed as one being.  

When I awoke, I began to pick up Ryan’s book- *my book* and wrote a few more words cementing his role as my personal meat-suit to eternity. I rewrote some passages from Sasha’s book undoing her spell before placing both our books back on the shelf and watching in delight as the titles began to fade.

I ran my hands across my new face- Ryan’s face before putting on his clothes and promptly leaving the bookstore a new man.

—————

The pics could probably use some work… Happy 2023!

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

A Swallow's Symphony In Spring (3/19)

Chapter 3 - Hear the Trumbling in the Stone

<- Previous | Masterpost | Next ->

----

Warnings: General talk about the mistreatement of a whole lot of people.

Word Count: 3261

---

Roman hated rain.

Sure, it was pretty. He liked to watch the rain from his window, seeing the sheets of water coming down over the mountains that the palace backed onto. He wished he could see in the direction of the city from here, but his tower didn’t have windows on that side. Roman liked to watch the rain, but really all it meant was that he was trapped even more. 

A weekend’s worth of rain meant no going outside now. His training was cancelled because the grounds were too muddy to spar on, he already had no lessons today and he was entirely bored of staying in his room already. Just about every free minute he’d had since Wynter got here he’d spent in his room, and when he couldn’t stand that he went to the garden. Now that he was hoping to befriend Wynter - or at least not be on unfriendly terms - he thought maybe he should actually get back to his old routine. 

After spending hours watching raindrops race down the stained glass of his windows, he decided to venture toward the library.

Twice he knocked on Wynters door before it was opened. Usually it only took one knock and a few seconds to get his attention, this time it took a second knock and another minute before Wynter opened the door with a tired expression and messy hair. The sight made Roman smile - had he been sleeping in?

They stared at each other for a moment before Roman nodded and waved for him to follow with a small, knowing smile. 

“So, uh… where are we going today, Sire?” Wynter spoke up as they walked, Roman was a little started. Virgil rarely spoke at all, let alone to ask him a question, he hoped that was a good sign, 

“The library,” Roman answered with a small smile - he hoped Wynter wouldn’t mind it. “I fear I may go insane if I stay in my room watching the rain on my window all day.”

“I uh- I didn’t expect you to leave your room today…” Wynter mumbles from behind him, so quietly that Roman almost didn’t hear him.

Roman couldn’t help but chuckle, “Is that why you look like you just got out of bed?”

It seemed that his attempt at a joke didn’t land when Wynter just scowled at him. Roman felt sufficiently cowed, looking forward once again. He had tried to joke - but he supposed it was just bad timing, or maybe he didn’t know Wynter well enough for that yet. He sighed as he walked - he really had no idea how this worked, did he?

He took a long time deciding what to read when they finally arrived at the library. Their supply of fictional works was small enough that Roman had read them all already, however he was always glad to reread his favourites. Wynter just stood there awkwardly as he sat down on one of the plush sofas in the room. It was a little weird, Roman wasn’t used to having company whilst he read, so having someone practically lurking over Roman’s shoulder as he did was a little off putting. 

Eventually, he turned to look up at him, “Wynter,” he said without looking up, “I can hardly read with you looming over my shoulder like that.”

“I- I’m sorry,” Wynter immediately apologised, Roman turned to him upon hearing the stutter in his voice, he narrowed his eyes a little - was he paler than normal? “It’s not like I can leave, though.”

Sighing, Roman marked his page and closed his book, turning to face Virgil properly in his chair, “Why not at least sit with me? Or grab a book, they’re free to read?”

“I assumed I wouldn’t be allowed to sit with you, Your Highness,” Wynter said, tone hesitant - that might have been the first time he’d heard him not sound confident. He doesn’t comment on the offer to read, though, maybe he wasn’t a big fan of reading. 

“I suppose on a technicality you should remain standing, but…” Roman takes another look at him, he was pretty sure Wynter was shaking, “...Are you alright, Wynter? You look sick.”

“I’m okay, Your Highness,” Wynter said, shaking his head. Roman wasn’t convinced in the slightest. “I’m pretty sure I’m not sick, at least?”

Even Wynter sounded like he wasn’t sure. Sighing, Roman reached out to pat the empty space on the sofa beside him. “I think it would be best if you sat, Wynter.”

Wynter stared at him for a long moment, doubt clear in his expression, before eventually - and with more hesitance than Roman thought he’d ever seen, he sat down. Roman watched his guard close his eyes and let out a sigh of relief, sink back into the sofa and actually relax, almost as if he’d forgotten Roman was even there at all. 

“So- are you sick?” Roman asks eventually, Wynter jolted back into his more guarded position, sat up and staring straight at Roman like he’d been caught. His eyes darted back and forth as Roman watched him, clearly panicking - and from how close he was now Roman could see that Wynter was indeed paler than normal - and he was normally quite pale. 

When he didn’t get a response for a long while, Roman sighed and placed his book down on the table in front of him, electing to fold his hands neatly in his lap instead. “Okay, look,” Roman said, taking a deep breath, he didn’t know if this would work, but he thought it might help, “I know I’ve been - unpleasant - towards you, in the last two weeks, But I’ve come to the realisation that it is not your fault that I’m stuck being tailed all day - it’s just… your job, it’s not as though you orchestrated this situation.”

Wynter seemed to double take, glancing around the room as if to check that no-one was watching - like someone was going to jump out and tell him this was a joke, only serving to make Roman feel worse about how he’d treated Wynter so far. 

“What I’m saying is - I apologise for the way I’ve been treating you, Wynter,” he said. 

“I… accept your apology, Your Highness,” Wynter said to Roman’s honest surprise - was it really that easy? He’d expected… what had he expected? He’d expected to have to fight for the apology, give a whole speech on why Wynter should let him off, why he didn’t deserve… well, that was how it always was with his parents.

“You- really?” Roman asked, genuinely taken aback. Wynter huffed.

“I mean - you’re right, I guess,” Virgil shrugged, “I didn’t… consider how unpleasant this probably was for you, too.”

“Can we… perhaps agree to start over?” Roman asked, feeling hopeful that this might actually go well now, “I’ve… come to realise that if it must be like this it may be better to have a friend than a shadow.”

Roman offered his hand to Virgil. He didn’t know why he did it, as royalty, he wasn’t supposed to touch the guards or servants - or anyone, really. He’d seen people do this before, though, the servants in the palace mostly, when they agreed on something, so he offered his hand for Wynter to shake regardless. It took a long moment, but eventually Wynter shook his hand with a grip that was strong despite the tremor in his hand. 

“I accept your proposal to start over, Your Highness,” Wynter said, bowing his head politely, “And- agree with you, that it would be better to have a friend here.”

“Oh wonderful!” Roman said, a smile breaking through his mask of neutrality. Something occurred to him then, perhaps… “Could… I request that you simply call me Roman? The titles are- they bother me, a little.”

“Surely that would be improper?” Wynter asked, tilting his head in confusion, “Couldn’t it cause trouble?”

Wynter was right, of course, and he cursed himself for it. If anyone heard his guard address him so informally they’d certainly tell the Queen and then she’d have both of their heads. Silently, Roman thought about the issue for a long moment, trying to figure out whether there was a way around all of this.

“I suppose it could,” he said eventually, sighing, “Though - perhaps not all the time? When we are alone, maybe, like we are now?”

Frowning, Wynter seemed to consider this and in that time Roman began to worry that he would be denied, eventually though, Wynter sighed, “Fine, I suppose I can call you your name when we’re alone.”

“Will you say it now?” 

Wynter paused to look at him once more, before shaking his head, “I’ll call you your name, Roman.”

Roman barely managed to suppress the urge to flap his hands with excitement - knowing it wasn’t something he was supposed to do. Even then he still couldn’t help the smile that now adorned his face. Wynter seemed to soften just a little in the face of it. 

“But-” Wynter said, Roman looked back over, his smile fading immediately at the frown on his face, “You should call me by my first name too - if I do that.”

Taken aback, Roman simply nodded. It was rare that someone other than his parents and tutors ever told him what to do. Almost none of the staff or guard had ever done such a thing. 

“I- suppose that’s alright,” Roman agreed anyway, if only to see Wynter’s shoulders droop in relief, “Virgil?”

“Roman,” Virgil nodded. 

“It feels strange to be called that,” Roman says with a small chuckle, “Not- bad per-se, but strange.”

“I guess you don’t get called it often, do you?” Virgil tilted his head. 

“Not particularly,” Roman agreed - his parents were practically the only people who called him by his name, and usually that wasn’t a good thing - but Virgil saying it was almost… nice? He wasn’t quite sure exactly why. 

Virgil simply nodded, “I figured.”

“So, Virgil…” Having permission to use Virgil’s first name felt almost elating, like a tiny weight had been lifted off of the pile on his shoulders, “Can we attempt a… friendship? Virgil?”

“I… suppose?” Virgil said, shifting on the chair. He looked so stiff and uncomfortable sitting next to him, Roman wished he knew what was wrong so he could do something to help, he still seemed so hesitant and wary of the idea. “We can try.”

Smiling in contentment, glad he had been able to have a proper conversation with Virgil, on that might have been able to get him a new friend, too. He picked up his book, opening it once more to his page and continuing to read. Virgil never relaxed next to him, which reminded Roman of what a poor state his guard had been in before he’d asked him to sit in the first place. 

“So, as friends,” Roman said eventually, looking up from his book back at Virgil with a tilt of his head, “What ails you? Why are you in pain? Wouldn’t friends tell each other such things?”

Roman watched as the neutral expression on Virgil’s face crumpled into that furious anger he’d seen back on the first day they’d met and Roman physically leant back. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong, Virgil had gone from seeming happy with the idea to being angry at Roman in just an instant.

“...I’ve upset you,” Roman said, voice made weak by the ferocious glare his guard was giving him, “What, um, what did I do?”

Virgil’s expression didn’t soften, not really, but a sense of confusion was added to the anger as he stared at him. Not knowing what to do - how to fix this, what he’d done wrong - Roman just shrugged weakly.

“You- you just apologised and offered to be friends just to get me to tell you things you wanted to know?” Virgil said, laying it all out with just a hint of harshness in his tone, “That’s just manipulation, not- not friendship.”

Oh.

Oh 

That wasn’t what he’d meant to do at all - or was it? He’d wanted Virgil to tell him what was wrong, after all, he was concerned - but should he have just asked? But he had wanted to be friends with Virgil anyway, it wasn’t just a case of trying to get information out of him! He didn’t know what to say, but as he panicked, Virgil’s anger seemed to cool just a little.

“I apologise… again, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said eventually, he thought that the amount that he’d needed to apologise to his guard so far in this conversation was already telling of something - maybe that he didn’t deserve friends.

Virgil sighed, rubbing his face with a half-gloved hand as he looked away from Roman, taking a long moment to answer - his voice exasperated when he did. “Don’t - don’t work yourself up about it - it’s fine…”

“I’ll try not to do it again, I swear-” Roman said, not sure why he wanted so badly to reach for Virgil - he’d already ruined this, hadn’t he? “I really was just asking - I want to help - if I can…”

With a deep breath, Virgil turned back to him, “I’m fine - really, just - I haven’t been sleeping all that well - that’s all.”

“Do you… normally have trouble sleeping? Or is it just…”

“It’s always been a problem,” Virgil said, shaking his head. “It’s been worse since I got here, but it’s not like you can do anything about it.”

“Well- you already know I have some issues sleeping too,” Roman pointed out - “Maybe having someone to relate to might help?” Virgil chuckled.

“Yes - I’m aware,”

“...Right,” Roman nodded, the conversation running dry, “Well… if there was a way I could help-?”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thank you,” Virgil smiled softly, “I’m just glad you’re not bothered.”

“Bothered?” Roman tilted his head.

“I would’ve thought you’d worry that this could hinder my performance?” 

“It doesn’t hinder mine,” Roman shrugs, “So I’ll expect the same from you - though you should try to rest when you can.”

“I do try,” Virgil sighs, shaking his head, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, though I’m not sure what I’m being thanked for,” Roman said with a small, hesitant smile. Virgil laughed softly, he decided he quite liked the sound. 

“For not being unpleasant about something I can’t change about myself,” Virgil answered, when Roman frowned in confusion he elaborated, “Trust me - it’s much more common than you might think.”

They kept talking for what must have been hours, mostly about meaningless things that Roman didn’t care much to remember. They talked about how Roman liked the flower arrangements in the hallways despite doing his level best to stay out of the hallways entirely in order to avoid people. How Virgil enjoyed the food here much more than he had enjoyed the food back home - mentioning a quick ‘no offence’ to someone named Logan. Over the course of the hours, they both learned more about each other than Roman remembered knowing about anyone other than his brother. 

—-

“My mother taught me how to wield,” Virgil said, another dreary day in the library half a week later. 

It was awkward at first, to start conversations after long periods of silence that left Roman not knowing what to say. He assumed that was just how it was when you met someone new, though he didn’t have much experience to back that up with. The awkward silences and lulls in conversation must be normal when you don't know someone so well, he thought.

Surprised that Virgil had actually spoken up first this time, Roman looked up from his book immediately, eyebrow raised. “A sword?” He asked.

“Mhm - and some other weapons, too,” Virgil said, “I can wield most blades.”

“Were you raised to be a knight?” Roman asked. 

Virgil chuckled. “I was raised to be a blacksmith,” he said, which only served to make Roman more curious. How did a lowly blacksmith end up a guard for a Prince? He wouldn’t voice that thought, though. Virgil always got upset when he talked like that. “My mother taught me how to use many of the weapons we made, just in case.”

“...Forgive my asking,” Roman said slowly, not wanting to offend, “But why would a smith’s boy need to know how to wield? What were you preparing for?”

A frown made its way onto Virgil’s face immediately. “Anything, really. Wild animals, the guards when they decided they weren’t taking enough from us already, other villagers - especially during winters, when we were hungry.”

Why on earth were people turning on each other? And his parent’s guards, attacking innocent people? And how had he not known a thing about it? Roman didn’t know what was the truth anymore. It didn’t make sense for Virgil to lie to him about all of this, but then that would mean that everyone else had been lying to him, which….

Actually made a lot more sense than he’d like to think about.

“Roman?” Virgil asked, sounding a little more hesitant now. When Roman looked up he saw that Virgil had half reached towards him but stopped, like he was going to put a hand on Roman’s arm or something, “Are you alright?”

“Of course,” Roman said automatically. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just…” Virgil trailed off with a frown. “Kind of - went away? For a minute there.”

“Oh,”

“What were you thinking about?” Virgil asked.

Sighing, Roman looked down at his hands. “When we first talked, in the garden, I thought you were lying.”

Virgil nodded, “You made that clear.”

“...Yes,” Roman said, “I’m sorry for dismissing you in that way.”

There was a long pause before Virgil spoke again, “Why did you think I was lying?”

Roman found himself hesitating to tell Virgil why. He simply didn’t know what to say. In the end he simply sighed and shook his head, “I chose to believe them, instead.”

“Who is ‘them’?” Virgil asked, glaring again but this time not at him, “What have they been telling you?”

“Well- you know I’m not allowed to leave the castle,” Roman said, Virgil nodded slowly, “Because of that I’ve - never really seen the state of the kingdom myself, so I’ve asked a lot about how the people are faring out there - every time I ask they tell me that the kingdom is rich and thriving, that the people are happy and love us - or at least they love my parents.”

Astonishment. That was the only word he could think of to describe the look on Virgil’s face. 

“That’s… that’s not true in the slightest,” Virgil said, “Roman- that’s - that’s the furthest thing from the truth-”

“But why would they all lie to me?” Roman asked, “My parents - well I suppose that makes sense - but the staff? The servants? The people?”

Virgil sighed, “They’re… scared,” he said eventually, “Your parents are - well - many people dislike them, let's say that, and even more people are scared of them - if your parents told them all to lie to you - I was probably supposed to lie to you too, but…”

“Don’t - please,” Roman said, looking back up at him, “If - if the people I’m supposed to rule over are suffering, I want to know about it.”

“Most nobles I have met would rather be ignorant,” Virgil said, a look on his face that Roman found himself unable to decipher. 

“I suppose that means I’m not like most nobles.” Roman said, falling silent after that. He supposed he had a lot to think about now.

----

<- Previous | Masterpost | Next -

----

[spumonibones]

A snippet from "Chasing Wings," chapter 16. Because I think I'm hilarious and rereading my own fic for any hints about what I was planning in ch24. (It hasn't helped, but I have laughed at my own jokes a lot)

.....

When noon approached, he scurried back to the consultant's house to be returned to the inn. To his surprise, the usual lunch was already in his room along with a written request: “was last night successful or did we complicate matters by stepping in? Please report at your earliest convenience.”

“Somehow, I get the feeling I've never done work that required reporting my dating status.” Venti said, chuckling softly as he set the note aside. The intentions were all well and good, if somewhat invasive. “...Holy shit, they have to report this to the Qixing, don't they? Huai’an did mention reimbursement, ahah, ooh buddy.” The bard didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry at this realization. That sitting upon her plush seat within her floating palace was Ning-fucking-guang awaiting to hear from Verr Goldet if Operation Get Xiao A Boyfriend succeeded or not.

Those were Liyue tax mora, hard at work. Right there.

Venti wondered if he should mention that Treasure Hoarders actually had more luck than the inn did. Which then reminded him of last night, and all at once it felt so surreal. When? How? Why?

Think of the yaksha and he shall appear, Venti thought as Xiao knocked on the window just as he did every day. Venti pushed the confusion aside to focus on the good that was waiting on him. “You can just come in, you know.” The bard called out. Within seconds Xiao was back in his room, a bit more awkward than his usual demeanor.

“I've learned humans aren't fond of that.” Xiao explained, eyeing the window thoughtfully. Flashing back to getting scolded by Ganyu, and wincing. Sometimes her attitude and mannerisms caused him to forget she was the older of the two. Spending any time with Cloud Retainer was proof enough he wasn't alone in forgetting, either.

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

1 + 12. So Collide was the first fic of yours that i stumbled upon and i fell in love. it’s def my fav fic of ALL time and i reread it at least four times a year because it is making me kick my legs in the air because it hits EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. THANK YOU FOR POSTING IT *sending a big kiss through screen*

9.

so i know that it is a veeeery long time until it will get posted but your poa remadora fic that you have been telling us abt is EXACTLY what I’ve been looking for. i swear. but in the meantime i will enjoy supernova and the burdens of time ♡

@sunnymssv!!!!! YOU'RE SUCH A SWEETHEART!!! I can't believe you love Collide that much. It was my first fanfic, and one day I plan on rewriting it (leaving the original up), as I think my writing/plotting has improved. But you're so sweet, so so sweet.

I have so much writing to do on the PoA Remadora meeting fic! It might be a late in 2024 project! However, may I offer you a very unedited snippet from Supernova that is extremely cute? It's a little conversation between Dora and Sirius about Remus <3

Snippet below the cut, not giving any more context than what's in here :D

“Dora, you know he’s madly in love with you, right?” Sirius asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“What?” Dora gaped at her cousin, sure she was hearing incorrectly. 

“You don’t know?”

“You’re joking.”

“Moony’s had it bad for you for years. He might even be worse than James.”

“He what?”

“I know you don’t feel the same way. He told me about your reaction to his furry little problem.”

Dora grew hot with shame. “I apologized—” she began.

“You were horrified. You stopped writing to him.”

“He said he forgave me.”

“He did. He just knew he lost any chance he had with you.”

“He—”

“How did you not see it before? He nagged me all fourth year because of what happened—”

“The year you gave me chocolate from—”

“I didn’t give you anything,” Sirius said flatly. “That was all Remus.”

Dora thought of the Chocolate Frogs, the bars of chocolate, the sweets, and the little joys Remus brought to her in her lowest days. 

“He probably told you it was from me so you wouldn’t suspect anything.”

“How long has he—”

“Second or third year. Like I said, as bad as James, maybe worse.”

“Where is he?”

“Dora, if you’re going to break his heart, could you wait until morning?”

“I need to find Remus, now.”

“He’s probably brooding somewhere. Check the Astronomy Tower or the edge of the forest.”

“I know you’ve got a way of finding people—”

“Insufferable.”

“There, pacing by the lake—”

please send me asks!!

[tevos]

i had such an intricate and fucked up dream last night

set in a secondary school about a treasure hunt that was being put on for all the last year students. hidden around the school were little bundles—I think it contained the teacher’s I.D. who hid it on a lanyard, some had chains and necklaces entwined with it, and little goody bags with sweets or trinkets etc inside—and every student who found one won some kind of scholarly prize? i didn’t get the full details, but there were hundreds of kids looking for just a few of these hidden lanyards and it was absolute bedlam. the teachers had left clues nearby their hiding spots too so some people were finding weird clues and the school was just being ransacked.

but this dream did a weird thing where it called back to another dream i’ve had before about there being a secret passageway out of the school—originally this passageway led up into some like…apartments or hotel type building? i had a friend lead me through to take me to her house in that dream and it was just very small and weird. but then in this dream my english teacher was telling me about it, almost kind of joking about it being a bit of a high school legend and rumour and something all the students know of but nobody has ever seen, except i had and my teacher knew that i had. (should point out as well that i was ella purnell, but her name was something like olivia and she kept being called ‘livie’ by other people. also my english teacher was my old uni tutor ailsa lmao she was cool)

so when the treasure hunt started it all went nuts, and it took me a second to remember this passage and then it took me a bit of time to backtrack to where the school side entrance was. at this point some of the students were becoming quite violent—it seemed the prize for finding a lanyard was actually very good education wise or something? extremely competitive. then i remembered that the entrance to the passageway was somewhere near the teachers’ lounges. outside of the staff room though a bunch of people were having a go at another student who had started a fire while looking for a lanyard, so it was very busy for a bit, but i managed to break through the crowd and around the corner was a stairway down. i was totally alone at this point so i headed down and it was like…. an underground car park? and i think there was a bit of a corridor all in the dark, and then there was a door. and the door opened up into a tiny living space, right there beneath the school.

i looked around the room a bit and as i neared a bookshelf a video game wind chime type noise could be heard (i’ve played too much da:v already) and i knew i was close to a lanyard. i searched the shelves and then i found it—my teacher’s lanyard with her school I.D. in it, wrapped around some silver chains, and a little pink pouch that i think was filled with sweets and weird little pig trinkets. and the lanyard was stacked directly on top of some neatly piled loose pages—when i inspected them, it was my english work, pages upon pages of poetry and essays with my name in the top (sometimes she’d sign them ‘livid’ to be funny, and i got the sense that these were really quite old—work from years ago). i put the lanyard on and grabbed the pages as this proved that i’d found them where they were left and waiting for me, and i took the long way back up to the school so that i wouldn’t run into as many people.

the dream skipped them and i was inside what looked like some makeshift courtroom with the school board as they examined the papers and the lanyard, and it kind of came to light that i was being expelled for something and me finding the lanyard was a last ditch effort to save my place in the school, but the school board were torn. it came down to the english teacher who had left it for me, trying to help. she then started rereading over the poetry i’d brought back and her face just….fell. like she’d read something in it that backed up whatever terrible thing i’d done that was leading up to my expulsion. and as my perspective switched back to looking at myself, it kind of blurred and overlayed one of my arms with the arm of a cockroach. then my leg on the same side. and then without even seeing it happen my whole body was a giant roach.

and then i woke up 🤷‍♀️

[datastate]

nno chapters 6!!! fuuma thangs... much speculation

first off, the assistant nurse is really cute :] i like her little shuriken pin... secondly! i know this might just be another signal of miharu's reluctance to let others care for him openly, but also. but also. the fact he almost immediately turns around once she says she's done to see how tobari is doing. they're killing me. badly.

also i do wonder if his eyesight will be permanently affected... there is the implication of the sort of. 'power level' also helping regeneration, but it'd be interesting to see what they do with this if it stays...

HE'S SO CRINGEEE... also this is probably just me reading into things, but also. but also. the majority of the people here at least Appear to be relatively young, yes... combined with this next part --

would it be especially sickly if i said that i think that miharu's (and tobari's...?!) mother, at least, was originally part of this clan... it would also explain how miharu still ended up fairly close-by after they'd fled. as well as imply the reason behind possible previous losses they suffered that resulted in this fool^ (said lightheartedly) coming to be the leader so early. or maybe he IS just a nepo baby that inherited the role/power passed down to him to succeed the clan. who knows...!

that does remind me though, while i was searching for the site again after having lost it, i had reread the starting chapter a bit, and i find it interesting that yoite's the first one to react...

it's presumably a matter of how in-tune you are with the knowledge of the world in the first place, to initiate any sort of connection with what exists as the 'source' -- that being miharu. you could argue that the main three in those panels represent. yoite very clearly specializing in one of the most dangerous hijutsu(?) methods even if all else is lacking; raimei preferring to take a very physical and practical approach to the world (as a self-proclaimed samurai); mr. freak (i forgot his name) instead being someone very socially involved, well aware of how to motivate & manipulate people, i'd assume... i do not know the ones in the fourth panel though...

but anyway. the dialogue in hindsight it also makes me wonder if this is the first time miharu's power has awoken or if it's only reawoken -- because if it's the first, then my idea of like. the memories also being trapped with that sort of crumbles. or there's the whole question to be asked of what exactly is the inciting incident for it to awaken at all, because it doesn't seem like miharu's in extreme danger by the moment it's already recognized in him...? or maybe this whole thing is just meant to be a symbolic & vaguely threatening opening. who knows...

too silly <3 i do appreciate her determination though :'] she forced herself to bounce back so quickly... she's given this chance to pick herself up again, all she can do is make sure it counts...!! she's not dead yet! this is her second/third/etc chance!

i don't have much to say here, actually... this is just a really good panel & does a good job of getting across how intimidating a force yoite is...

i sincerely hope she steals his maidens. fuuma clan becomes saraba's clan, okay? i'd be okay with a sudden genre change for her sapphic harem. (THIS IS A JOKE. I'M VERY INVESTED IN THE MAIN PLOT AS IS AEGAHA)

NO FURTHER COMMENTARY.

HE'S SO WEIRD!!! but it is a very fair point in how miharu's directionless helps

oh god okay. i had a thought. you know how in mob psycho, shigeo had suppressed himself to the point he didn't even know what he wanted anymore, and so his 'self' upon returning full-force had completely focused in on this singular want. i'm sure nno has its own flair if this is correct (though i am just throwing ideas at the wall), but in this general regard, do you think if miharu's centered his past on the idea that he wants things to "go back to normal/peaceful times" after the whole. oh, you know, your parents are dead... that that's what he's strived for since, but slowly what he had suppressed is coming back to search out what he would do that can't simply be achieved with typical human experience, despite that being juxtaposed against the fact that it's because he's not a typical human that he longs so heavily for that. usually, humans want the unachievable and take pride in their passions/specialties -- someone who already possesses what would qualify them a 'prodigy' finds no novelty in it, regardless of what sort of attention it catches from other people, if it doesn't match their passion. there's a sort of envy inherent to both because of the how the experiences impose something limited. and in many cases, once you breach a certain line then you also abandon the life you could've had.

I DON'T KNOW... I'M PROBABLY WAY OFF THE MARK BUT. GRAHHH... i wanna knowww...

THIS GUY.

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. even though i also want to know what tobari is hiding, THIS IS NOT THE TIME...!!! (i am excited though to see. if complications do arise ^_^ <- the sicko)

AHEEM HEEM... oh you had it so well in the first half. rather than acknowledge what miharu's offering forth - "would you want something" - where the only answer is that inevitable "yes" or, kinder than a lie, some sort of "i don't know" ... instead focusing it on miharu's objective, or... desire (which is. the one thing he's not allowed at this point). their wants don't matter right now, they want to know what miharu wants to do first and foremost... sniffle.

but then there's that slip-up... not that it can be helped, because you Want to assuage the doubts, but it just makes it so much more difficult. man... they're all stuck in such a terrible situation right now TT_TT it's so fun to read though...

[aiura-stan]

I won’t waste time, here’s 0-9.

Another one shot, this time with the hero characters. I can’t say I remembered this, and upon rereading, think I understand why.

so, did this really happen, or is Asou sensei pulling our legs with this repeat joke about stressing out every time he gets published?? I hope it’s the second… I know the manga world is brutal, but…

this jokes just don’t seem to be landing here… Haganeno just comes across as a basic selfish asshole. And what makes the fantasy rpg setting funny? I don’t get it.

…what is this outfit… i agree with his jerk teammates. even dancers don’t wear such impractical clothing. I think Asou sensei just wanted to draw a guy in skimpy clothing.

…did he kill them?!? deserved, but?!?!

well, thus ends the Our Hero Studies oneshot. I did in fact read it all the way through this time, but I kind of wish I hadn’t because it was boring. I wonder if the actual series is this lackluster? Maybe I’ll read some.

Also, can I just say that chibi kusuo looks thoroughly unsettling in Asou sensei’s early manga style?? Anyways.

I am very excited for tomorrow. I’ve been waiting (see also: I haven’t waited at all) to crack open the tankobon volumes sitting on my shelf. Surprisingly, I can read a very small amount of it. My Japanese self study hasn’t been entirely useless… plus it helps that I basically know everything that happens in the story.

Alright, see everyone then! This is the end of 0-9!💫

[libertyreads]

May 2024 TBR--

Connor Cow and I are excited to talk about the books we're planning on reading in May. (AKA look at my cute stuffed cow because my physical TBR is TINY.) I have three Kindle books and three NetGalley ARCs I plan on reading during the month so the physical TBR for the month is small. I'm so excited for my reading plans for the month. I've already started one of the Kindle books and I am INVESTED.

Teen Titans: Beast Boy Loves Raven by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo-- I'm continuing my reread of the Teen Titans graphic novel series. Up next we see Beast Boy and Raven meet and we see them starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. This isn't my favorite of the series (that one's next month), but I still enjoy the Teen Titans graphic novels so much.

Aesop's Fables by Aesop-- I found this beautiful collection of Aesop's Fables when visiting a small bookstore in San Antonio a few months ago and I decided this would probably be a good choice for May since I am back to school and I need some light reads to help me push through the month. There are more than 200 short fables (less than one page per) that use animals to discuss human problems. Some are as short as two sentences. Some are as long as five or six sentences. I'm hoping to finish this one early on in the month.

Blood Over Bright Haven by M.L. Wang (Kindle)-- Okay. So this is the one I'm already SUPER invested in. I started it at the end of April and I'm 100 pages in. All of the people who said this book made them angry were so right. This was sold to me as a standalone dark academia novel featuring a woman trying to survive the magic school as the first woman admitted to the High Magistry. She has the janitor forced upon her as her assistant as a cruel joke by others in the High Magistry. And we follow them as they try to make it in this magical school. The absolute rage I've felt in the first 100 pages is astounding. I can't wait to dive deeper into it.

Faking It with Number 41 by Piper Rayne (Kindle)-- This is the next book I'm picking up in the Hockey Hotties series. In this one we follow Ford who is the heir to Jacobs Enterprises, but with a career in the NHL, he doesn't want to fall into the family business. His father agrees...with one condition. He fakes a relationship with the family's PR rep. But do things stay pretend? Or does Ford find himself in an even bigger pickle than he was in before? I liked Ford in the other book I read in this series so I'm excited to read his story.

Pacific Rim by Alexander C. Irvine (Kindle)-- Did I really buy a novelization of a movie I watched last month? Am I really about to read it...despite having watched the movie two times now? Yes and Yes. Hey. Hi. Hello. Have you met me? The Resident Hyperfixation Expert is here to continue the hyperfixation. Pacific Rim follows a former Jaeger pilot and an untested trainee as they attempt to push back a giant Kaiju and keep the world from the edge of defeat in their war against the Kaiju.

Icon and Inferno by Marie Lu (NetGalley)-- This is the second book in the series which follows a spy and a pop star as they team together to take down a very bad man. I reread book one recently and remembered how much I love Winter and Sydney. In the first one, we saw Winter brought into the agency and trained up as he joined Sydney on a mission to bring a rich, and bad, man to justice. I was so worried reading book one the first time that this would be a one and done situation with their partnership, but in book two we've got the gang back together and I'm so excited. This time things get a little more personal for Sydney which I think will really up the stakes (and possibly the romance).

The Calculation of You and Me by Serena Kaylor (NetGalley)-- The GoodReads pitch is as follows: "A calculus nerd enlists her surly classmate's help to win back her ex-boyfriend, but when sparks start to fly, she realizes there's no algorithm for falling in love." I'm excited to meet this moody musician and this math nerd and see how they inevitably fall in love. I've read from this author before so I'm excited to dive on in to a new one.

The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton (NetGalley)-- When I heard Kayla from BooksandLala talk about this one, I had to request it. This is going to be a genre mash-up that could be everything for me: Sci-Fi/Romance. It's pitched as "part space odyssey, part sapphic rom-com." Four twenty-somethings accidentally steal a spaceship and as the ship travels deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting and old mysteries come crawling back to life. I'm going to try to go into this one without knowing too much, but I was so excited to get an ARC for this one.

I do want to clarify that reading all of these is my goal for the month of May. But I started a class in April and if I need to then I will start pulling things off of my TBR in order to keep up with my coursework. I'm hoping that having a couple of short and easy reads for the month will make it easier to hit my daily page goals.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

and now it's time to play that ancient game of mine -- moments in my fanfic scribblings that wound up kinda mirroring canon!!

(this is totally just for my own amusement. don't mind me!)

ofmd 204 & 205 spoilers!

this was my fix-it fic that i wrote in a deranged haze the day after 1.09 & 1.10 aired, and then never posted because there were a few small transition scenes in between all the meaty emotional stuff that i was just too lazy to ever finish up. upon rereading, i actually kinda like it and wish i'd finished it though!!! maybe i will one day, and just post it as a historical relic from march '22.

*****

(Ed and Stede meet at last!)

“What’ve you been up to?”

“You haven’t heard?”

“I’ve heard a bit. But I’d rather hear it from you.”

“Oh, you know. Plundering, pillaging, being the punishment this sorry world deserves. That sort of thing.”

“Very neat. And what’s with the–” Stede gestures awkwardly to his own chin.

Ed touches his kohl-painted face. “Wasn’t going to wait for it to grow back in before I got back out there. I’d wasted enough time.”

“Right, yes.” Stede lets out a wistful, slight laugh. “I was starting to get used to your bare face.”

“Really? That’s not what scared you away?”

“I wasn’t scared away.”

“Oh, so you just decided to abandon me for some other reason. That’s great. It feels great, knowing that. Life’s so much better now than it was ten seconds ago. Wait. Fuck.” Ed stands abruptly, shaking the table. “I swore I wasn’t going to do this. I’m fucking Blackbeard, I’m the kraken, I’m hell on waves, I eat babies for breakfast.”

“Oh, Edward.” Stede stares up at him, aghast. “Please tell me you haven’t had a breakfast baby.”

“Obviously I didn’t really,” Ed says impatiently. “It’s just an alliteration thing. It’s the vibes.”

Stede puts a hand to his heart and exhales. “Thank God.”

(okay, with this one i mostly just wanted the breakfast baby joke to finally see the light of day. but there's a slight overlap!)

*****

(Ed and Stede make up very quickly, and then try to make the crew feel cool about that!)

“Hey, Blackbeard.”

“Hey, Black Pete.”

“Oh, it’s just Pete now.”

“Cool, cool. I guess it’s just Ed now, too.”

“Welcome back, Ed. If I could just, uh, say one thing?”

“Sure, mate, what’s up?”

“VENGEANCE!!!” Pete screams, and pushes Ed overboard.

The crew bursts into cheers.

Stede can’t really fault them, all things considered.

“That was just a bit of vengeance for you, babe,” Pete tells Lucius.

“Thanks, babe.”

*****

Once a sopping-wet Ed’s been recovered, there’s the general consensus from all non-Stede crew members that he’s going in the brig.

“We’re really happy for you, Captain,” says Frenchie, “but he’s been a menace.”

“Obviously acting out of deep-rooted pain and some unprocessed childhood trauma,” says Lucius magnanimously. “But all the same, he’s been a massive bitch.”

“I think everyone should get a turn punching him in the face,” says Jim.

“Nobody’s punching anybody!” Stede says, in his clipped captain’s orders! tone. “But you’re right. I’m sorry, Ed; the people have spoken, and the brig it is.”

“No, I get it.” Ed holds up his hands in surrender. “Super fair. And hey, Jim, you can go ahead and punch me if you like.”

“They won’t punch you, they’ve just got hurt feelings–”

Stede is cut off by Jim punching Ed right in the stomach.

Wow. They really don’t waste any time.

“Sucker punch,” breathes Ed through what must be a dizzying amount of pain. “See, I was expecting the face, ‘cause you said the face–”

“Surprise,” says Jim.

****

and this is from a fic i actually posted! [x]

Stede decides to risk getting shot, and puts a hand on his arm. They stand still together. “I wish I’d gotten it right the first time. But this, right now, it’s the next best thing we’ve got. I’ll keep fighting if you want to fight, and I’m pretty sure my crew and I will win our ship back from you and your sorry lot within the week–”

“Pfft.”

“--but while we’re fighting, Ed, just know that I lo–”

But before he can say the words, Ed interrupts. “Nope. Don’t.”

“But I–”

“No.” Ed meets his eyes. “I mean it, mate.”

Stede listens. He lifts his hand from Ed’s arm. “That’s all right. You must know what I mean, if you don’t want me to say it that badly.”

“Of course I want you to say it,” Ed mutters. “That’s the problem.”

“Ah, right. Terrible.”

[mxtxfanatic]

Hi,.....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from SVSSS? And why do you love them? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite moments from the novel? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

Hello, a svsss ask! I do not mind at all 😊

Top 5 SVSSS Characters (the last three are not ranked):

Luo Binghe: what can I say, I love a character who suffers grievously trying to achieve what should be a fairly simple wish, only to be rewarded with it finally at the end

Shen Qingqiu: thought he was hilarious on my first read, but found him absolutely enthralling on my second because of how I was able to pick up on him consciously choosing to be a good person in this book with how he attempted to cope with this violent new world by trying to remain unattached but ultimately failing and changing the narrative because he is literally that good of a person

Liu Qingge: literally was always, always there when Shen Qingqiu needed him, fought Luo Binghe every day for five years and lost every time just for the chance to give sqq a proper burial; best shidi ever

Gongyi Xiao: he was just honestly such a sweet kid, and his death came so far from left field I thought it was a joke the first time I read it

Zhuzhi-lang: my precious cutey snake boy who I ALSO didn’t realize died until my second reread 😭😭😭 upon the reread, I’m pretty sure I like him for the same reasons I like lbh because they are practically the same character with only the slightest differences in their narratives and character arcs

Top 5 Favorite Moments:

The Marriage Extra where sqq is so excited to get married to lbh that he has them do it directly after lbh’s botched proposal—even though lbh spent so much time planning for a proper wedding 😭—then after they consummate it, him calling lbh “dearest husband” without any reason or prompting

The entirety of the Holy Mausoleum Arc when sqq finally learns how all of his conceptions of his version of lbh are wrong and that he’s been blaming lbh for things that other characters were actually doing

The fight between Zhuzhi-lang, sqq, and lbh where zzl is trying to remove the seeds from sqq’s arm, lbh is trying to kill zzl for touching sqq, and sqq is trying to keep everyone alive and not expose lbh’s presence to Tianlang-jun lmao

The argument at the inn about who gets to sleep in a room with sqq, only for sqq to take a single room for himself, forcing lbh and lqg to share (and then both of them avoiding the room like the plague LOL)

Every time sqq saw a vision (whether in the deep dream extra where he gets sucked into lbh’s memories of while he was dead, or when he revisits Shen Jiu’s memories that he did not have access to) of lbh suffering and his first instinct was to try to hug and comfort him, despite never being able to directly interact with lbh in them.

Bonus: the extra where they go back to the town with the skinner to investigate a haunting and lbh tries to hold sqq’s hand while sqq playfully dodges him, and they both acknowledge it as their form of flirting cause sqq loves playing hard-to-get

Most of these revolve around bingqiu as a couple, but I really love how much sqq loves lbh and the ways in which the narrative cleverly shows it since he’s prone to hiding this affection in his words

[mistrdctr]

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? @able-to-rest

The notification of a new text incoming distracts Stephen from the app he's currently scrolling through; It only shows a hint of what Tony, of all people, seems to have sent to him mere seconds ago: 'On a scale of one to ten, how many---'

Blinking, taking another sip of his tea, the sorcerer hums as he closes the app, then opens his messages; And, upon reading the whole thing, his eyes widen briefly. ... He blinks. Twice. Rereads the text. Blinks again. Takes another sip of tea.

Is this real? Or is this some kind of joke? He's heard that some people do challenges nowadays, sending texts to others and then show which reactions they get...

America does that sometimes, has managed to embarrass Strange one or two times already. Tony, even though he is much older than her, technically strikes him as a man who would participate in such challenges himself, so...

[Text - TincanMan] I have to ask: Is this from one of those 'challenges' that people do nowadays? I think it mainly happens on Tik Tok? [Text - TincanMan] Sending others texts that are supposed to surprise them, screenshotting the reply to post it on the internet? [Text - TincanMan] Feels familiar, somehow...

[but-ter-flie-ge]

'Ollo

I'm back. Pahahaha. That sounded so menacing in my brain. Anyways it's six of crows time again. Crazy I know.

I reread the first book and had to get some thoughts out of my jelly brain:

Firstly: the last time I read the duology I didn't really get the hype around the first book.

It just wasn't that interesting to me and the whole ice court heist felt very... faulty and too fast paced. Everything was kind of weirdly put together and rushed. Fight scenes. Emotional scenes. Most of it except for the flashbacks and the banter felt too quick.

I couldn't connect with the characters and I feel like I also didn't really understand a lot of them. Maybe the fact that I read it in German changed something as well, probably changed something.

Now being older and rereading it after the show while properly indulging in the fandom I found myself enjoying every interaction between the characters and actually really noticed a lot of their growth. I appreciate them more and while reading I could overlook that the ice court heist still felt weird. Or rather the heist wasn't weird but it's weird to me that people call it an absolute masterpiece.

I think it should just be seen as something that it is: "A bunch of messed up teenagers doing the impossible with the help of luck and a few good tricks."

That's a mindset I ought to keep when musing about the heist, I suppose. I'm not sure if it was intended as such but it is what I gathered from it.

Secondly: I cherish the characters way more than before and that makes a major difference. Since what I've mentioned before and I have been constructing the characters in my brain as who they are and what I appreciate about them the first book became 10 times better.

This point is also related to the fact that everything feels rushed because when you barely know the characters their banter might be funny but it doesn't affect you as much as it does once you know them. Now it feels like you're reading of friends joking around instead of strangers.

Kaz:

During the first read I really despised Kaz. I may said I found him interesting but now I feel more like I just said that out of a want to understand what the rest of the world apparently agreed upon which is that Kaz is phenomenal. He's great he's wonderful and a big player when it comes to book crushes.

What I can say is that the TV series really helped me understand and ultimately like Kaz more. Specifically the second season. In the first season, I don't connect Book-Kaz with the Kaz on screen but the second season did him justice. To a degree. (Idk why he gives Nikolai his cane (please fix that)) Probably also because in season 2 he was in his actual plot and habitat.

This time when I write:"I find him interesting." I mean it. I actually really enjoy watching how his character moves and tada! I now even acknowledge his crush on Inej. Because in my first read I subconsciously never really believed him. He was too much of an asshole to me. But even if I believed him I didn't have any pity left to sympathize with him. Blinded by hate I suppose.

This time I actually had an understanding of his actions, why he takes them, and what they mean to him.

I still view him as a ruthless fucker who only has space for himself when it comes to his friends but it's easier to bear when I actually want to know more about his rage and logical reasoning. The way he gets to where he is.

Inej:

In the first read, I may liked Inej. In the second read, I put her on a pedestal and prayed next to her feet every night.

I don't know what hold me from seeing Inej for who she is in my first read but I know that now I could explode with love for her. It's funny to me because I thought I quite enjoyed reading about her but for some reason, it intensified.

Anyways her character growth and the resolve she finds in herself to say no, choosing what's best for her. Oof-

Also, Danielle Galligan (actress of Nina Zenik) said that Inej is just so authentic she brings other people to be truthful in her presence. I just really loved that statement.

Nina and Jesper:

I still adore both of them as I did when I first read it. Nothing much changed. Except maybe it got worse. But all in all, I'm the same old simp.

Wylan and Matthias:

Matthias I found way funnier. During the first read, I was just hating on him for obvious reasons. And even at the end of it all I wasn't a big fan and I didn't grab a lot of his pov nor what Nina meant when she said that he's just a boy with rage planted inside of him.

Now I understand that better and of course, he's still an annoying stupid big honk that doesn't know shit about the world but at least his confusion and the others mocking him were enjoyable. And the character development will forever make me happy.

I adore him and Nina. They're so sweet together and I didn't think I'd ever say that after my first read. But here we are. What a journey it has been.

It's the same as the first time with Wylan. I loved him but I didn't get any chapters from his pov so I was pissed. The show slaughtered the reveal of his dyslexia which I still don't support but maybe they can make the angst work somehow if there's to be a spin-off.

Also, I was scared that he would be useless throughout the whole book. Because in my memory, he wasn't but maybe that's just my old memory blinded by the pink glasses.

However, I think it's often hard to judge Wylan on this since he operates more in the background and with the few resources he has. Of course, he's still a weight the others drag along during the heist but let's be honest: Wylan was less of a problem than other characters messing up.

Obviously one has to consider that Wylan doesn't get the big jobs to begin with but one can counter-argue that Kaz could've left Pekka alone in the cell instead of taking too long and risking all their lives for his vendetta.

This reminds me: the scene where Kaz exposes Jesper about having told a dime lion he's leaving town will forever make me mad for this exact reason.

Kaz says he can't trust Jesper anymore. He says he wanted to punish him by not telling him about Wylan looking like Kuwei or that Wylan and Nina were actually safe when Van Eck destroyed their ship.

I don't even know where to start. Did Kaz ever really trust Jesper? Don't think so. He just knew how to use him but trust? The only one he ever conceded to was Inej which could be considered a spark of trust. That's it. I feel like he doesn't have the right to speak of trust when all he ever gave were simple orders.

Then his thoughts about punishing him.

Dear Kazzle Dazzle, did anyone punish you when your weakness showed and you collapsed in a prisoner wagon even though you knew this could've happened? Did anyone punish you when you left Nina alone in the corridor of a high-security prison? Did anyone punish you when you sent Nina in a death trap with Matthias and Brum that could've gone very wrong very quickly? It was a gamble and he says it himself. He even says he would be the one to pay for all these "tree jokes". But no Kaz. You wouldn't have been the one to take the brunt of this. It would've been Nina. She would've paid with her consciousness. Worse than death.

Nina was lucky that luck was on your side. I guess the third scenario is still very different from the first and second ones because at least Kaz tried to save her but nonetheless it annoyed me that he made it about himself. I get why but the why doesn't help him.

Thirdly: I have my problems with the writing style and plot.

By no means am I a professional especially not when it comes to English as it is not my mother tongue but I just wanted to describe the feeling I've got from it.

This is a tricky one because I'm not the biggest fan of either. I mean the only reveals or plot-twists that really hit home are the ones not related to the ice court. So the biggest portion of the book I wasn't too keen whenever some grand scheme worked because it didn't seem like a scheme at all. It was a lot of luck.

In the first read that bothered me. In the second read it didn't too much.

The writing style isn't my favourite. I don't hate it though. I feel like some of the similes are pretty damn good and the train of thought of the characters and descriptions are nicely woven together. The dialogues are very strong and the banters may be some of the best I've ever read. Even fanfiction got some serious competition here.

However, as I said it felt rushed and like sometimes there wasn't the right feeling for how the scenes should end. When I first read it I found this even worse than in my second read. For instance, the fight with Jesper and Wylan against the Tidemakers doesn't take much longer than a few seconds to read. But apparently, that fight had a big impact on Jesper. It's never mentioned again in the book but it's the start of him questioning whether he should go and learn about his powers. And since we already don't get any background about him in the first book I feel like this at least could've been a longer struggle.

In conclusion, I know it's not all about the plot and a book can be about good characterization and everything. But I also know that I can love something and still criticise it. Usually makes the media even better.

The characters are where the book shines which means a reread or watching the show and then reading it feels like the smarter option to me. It's worth it and it lets you see things in a different light. That's me speaking from my subjective point of view but it's also my review so. Get wrecked I guess?