#UNADULTERATED AUTISM

[summonhouse]

summon house is a piece of media on youtube that is 4 episodes all of 10 minutes long atm. created in 2021 at first and then went on a 2 year hiatus and returned 2-3 days ago? after it was featured in a sagan hawkes video at the very end which has 741k views. the video with the most views rn has 4k views though, and no posts on tumblr before me, lol. atm, given its 10 minutes long, theres really no clarity on what is happening and what could happen and seriously no reason to speculate- the story as presented is that the episodes are video game play throughs supernaturally (? as in, not realistic in our world, theyre supposed to be posted on other channels but all posted on summon house with summon house descriptions) consolidated, with descriptions seemingly from the game itself, not the players, labelling the players as "unnamed men" with summon house bias (describing a player as "ridiculing" the house). the players say that the game is a game jam game, so presumably made in 24 hours, with extremely meager grammar, assets, sounds and such. however when tasked at night with "what [to] summon?", the game accurately identifies what is prompted and increases the span of the house. realistically, if you care about game dev, this is impossible; the entered objects are all varied (apple, water bottle, door, and dog), none are refused, and the first two are accurately interpreted along with their meaning, and then integrated into art created by the game triggered by invisible flags as the player moves around- looking at a blank canvas, looking away, looking back and theres a painting. it immediately indicates; somehow, this game is learning, and if it is learning, i would assume its alive. in fact, the game repeatedly laughs when it changes things around the house. the intro is also "game smile" (and "game smiling" in the second build), and the text within the game is repeatedly infantile and extremely personable- "apples are my only favorite thing!" "let me look around? need inspiration" "outside stars!/shiny light!/squarey board!/see me tomorrow!". the line "let me look around? need inspiration" is really intriguing- the game repeatedly makes paintings, but only after the player has looked at what they have summoned, and usually after a trick turn. nothing changes on screen- a noise triggers, causing the player to panic and look around, and when they look back, something has changed. the game can change, but only behind the players back? Still, "let me look around" implies its seeing through the player characters eyes? if i have to assume, wishfully, with the narrative I personally enjoy, it smacks of video game that needs you to play it to be alive, with how it expresses joy (smiling, fun) when it is played, emphasizing "see me tomorrow" instead of a goodnight message on session 2 as if the focus is hanging out together. the laughing is really really endearing. its hard to say how much the house theming is supposed to matter- is it the game thats alive? is it the player or the house? if the game is only a house, is the game that house?

summon house was made by a person named alex, i dont know if they have any social media because i only know them from the in character youtube channels of summon house and ai builds. ai builds' first video has 22k views and last video has half that, but i couldnt find ANY analysis videos of the story. you might think ai builds is connected to summon house because summon house seems to run on ai, but ai actually stands for animal investigators, which is a video game the character of nicholas is trying to make. ai builds is about a man with terrible depression and trauma struggling to create a game to feel worthy of anything while trying to be original. the game explicitly is not exactly real- when he sees things in the real world as he plays, they show up in game. things appear without him coding them in. things he insist he did not make are present repeatedly and surprise him, and as the videos go on increasingly the videos broadcast are recollections of trauma and analysis of his inner turmoil- the game is an outlet for things in a very abstract sense taken to its extreme, as characters in the game taking on appearances of people from his outside life tell him things he needs to hear but does not want to think- in pill imagery, bitter pills to swallow.

im really excited about summon house despite it only being 4 episodes in because, well, i love houses and i love games. i think theres a lot to be said about houses and games as connecting themes. theyre both something you have to make and expressions of yourself. theres a lot in ai builds about being trapped in your home, specifically being trapped in a room, with a repeated childhood trauma shown through demons in the media being knocking at his door demanding he open the door and let people in- but the letting people in isnt really a literal experience- it was, as shown by a childhood comic he made about his father screaming that at him, but in the context at the time as its repeated in ai builds, its definitely more about him letting people into his mentality as the narrative in the current day for him is focused on his refusal and difficulties in getting help, in "letting anyone in". in this way, the house is a representation of the mind. the game, too, is a representation of the mind as the events and thoughts hes going through appear in the game. are you seeing how its all connected? theres also a lot of emphasis on creation in ai builds- he struggles to create anything because its all been made before, and he feels the need to make anthing at all to "prove" hes worth loving, repeatedly saying hes in dire straits because he cannot understand why anyone would like him if he has nothing to present them, such as a game. he struggles with having been creative, but losing inspiration and feeling as if hes copying everything- i think you can draw connections from that and summon house as its about continually learning and growing from some sort of database of which we're not sure yet- how is the house learning, where is it pulling models, for what reason? im really hoping summon house like ai builds is very very good- ill like it even if its not, because houses are always good for symbolism, lol

[nikki-tine]

setting a reminder to myself here and now to fuckign,, doodle my sona tickling Sparky and Bori at some point soon

It’s living in my head rent-free and I’m trying to get a few more hours of sleep at the ungodly hour of nearly 6am ncjdnfn

[arospecsyourblockdudes]

I do appreciate how all of my followers n mutuals will see me post smth like “I wish I could get killed from chlorine gas in the trenches of the western front in 1916 and be buried in an unmarked grave somewhere in the battlefield with hundreds of my fellow soldiers” n ur all like classic Orion

[banrionandomhain]

Heartstopper is filling me with such pure unadulterated joy I love being autistic and having a special interest I love seeing beautiful depictions of queer love and I love being alive, actually.

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Today at work someone called needing to speak Spanish and I got far enough to say ‘no hablo’ but I tried to say ‘I can’t’ and I deadass almost responded in Welsh lmaooo I fucked up why did I do this to myself

[nonspeakers-r-us]

Nobody talks about episodes of uncontrollable emotion and dangerous behaviors in severe Autism.

I apologize for the long post. This is important to me. Heavy CW for mention of knives, self-injurious behaviors, description of intense emotions, brief descriptions of restraints and police. Yes, I used the word "severe" to describe my Autism. This is because I am Nonspeaking, very High Support Needs, visibly Autistic, and have a Borderline IDD. This is how I choose to describe my Autism. Please don't attack me for this, Tumblr. Anyways. Darting out into busy streets. Repeatedly banging your head against walls. Throwing objects, sometimes even very dangerous objects such as knives. Breaking things - anything - no matter the value or durability. Unplanned, sudden violence towards self and others. Lashing out, in pure emotion, just screaming into nothing at the top of your lungs, for no obvious reason other than pure, unadulterated, terrifying emotion. This may not seem like symptoms of Autism for anyone, and they may not be caused by Autism at all. But for many young people and adults with severe Autism, this is what our families deal with regularly. "Difficult behaviors", as I've often heard them described as by social workers. There's often no clear reason for then. They just. Happen. We are almost never diagnosed with secondary conditions. It is considered a symptom of our severe/profound Autism. While in many Speaking and Low Support Needs people with Autism, they would be diagnosed with various conditions. Conduct Disorder. Bipolar. Borderline Personality Disorder. Maybe even a severe case of Intermittent Explosive Disorder. But for those of us on the more visible part of the Spectrum, nobody knows how to deal with us. It's scary and heartbreaking for our families, and deeply traumatic for us. Many times, our families and caregivers will turn to emergency services such as police or EMTs when they have no where else to turn. I don't like this option, I hate it. But in moments of extreme panic and fear, I don't always blame families for this. Nobody talks about those of us who have been restrained by our arms and ankles to hospital beds for weeks at a time. Nobody talk about those of us who turn violent on the people we love most, when we just can't control ourselves. I wish I had good advice for those of us struggling with this. I wish I could comfort you. While mood stabilizers and antipsychotic medications have helped me, it doesn't help everyone. DBT for severely Autistic individuals is another thing that greatly helped me. This is a fact of life for many individuals with severe Autism and their families. It's terrifying. But please keep trying treatment, keep advocating for yourself as much as possible, and keep going. I'm sure you don't think this means anything, but you are strong. You are brave. I see you and I want you to keep going. Nobody talks about episodes of uncontrollable emotion and dangerous behaviors in severe Autism.

[spidermanifested]

since the anime got to this part everyones talking about how well laios embodies their experience with autism and i am sitting over here with this page specifically. TFW your go-to instinct when someone is getting in your face and pissing you off is to slap or shove them. TFW this happens via pure unadulterated subconscious impulse and you dont realize what you did until a couple seconds later and you are now suspended

[manjaro-official]

me? ive been bootstrapping compulsive thought patterns out of pure unadulterated autism

[lakesbian]

u all flatter, however due to my severe executive dysfunction i am impossible to be bartered with. either it happens or it doesn't folks. really cute little alec though. will take this opportunity to state my alec headcanon truthful fact that came to me in a vision that when he was smalled he had long ass tangled hair and did not in fact get a proper haircut until after he ran away. it was a whole thing

i still want to make an undersiders dynamic chart so bad but im so fucking autistic and thorough it would have to be a 70-slide powerpoint instead where i individually explain not only every single character dynamic but the unconscious vs. conscious aspects of it and how it changes over the course of the book. maybe even 100 slides so i can have an extended primer on how each undersider consciously parses and acts regarding their relationships & how that interacts w/ their unconscious underpinning motivations. 110 slides if i accidentally start going on a tangent about alec halfway through

[dwell-the-brave]

NEW FIC ALERT: Trace Your Constellations

Title: Trace Your Constellations Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023) Relationship: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Character: David the Beagle (Red White & Royal Blue), Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Autistic Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Autism, Non-verbal Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Comforting Alex Claremont-Diaz, Neurodiversity, This is just pure unadulterated cosy fluff, david is a good boy

🔗: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57715432

Note, this is not part of the Heavy Weighs the Crown series - this is just a standalone!

[prac-ticalproblems]

Well now you're tempting us. Tell us more of your headcanons for the guy! As a starting point, you can go with his background, and ties to Radigan and Classic Engie. I'm. Very normal about the (not confirmed but I say rather likely) lineage of Engineers busting their Texan asses to work for Administrator.

DONT TEMPT ME, you VIXEN.

But I shall! Just for you!

I feel like Radigan was a hard ass.

For sure. He was definitely the type of person to have his trophies and awards and his achievements in a glass box while his son’s picture was flipped upside down on his desk.

He’s the type of guy that you call Sir more than Dad. Or Grandfather. I feel like he sticks to his work more than his family. Or at least, that is what is most likely.

He wasn’t only an engineer, he was an Inventor. He created things humanity couldn’t or perhaps wouldn’t comprehend on its own. He was a great mind, and I don’t think he would ever let that down.

Not to say genius runs in the family but I do believe their strive is a little more than simple ambition! I think it’s just learning at a young age but ALSO I believe strongly that it comes from that need, that want to connect to someone who feels distant like that.

So I think Fredrick, the prodigal son, HAD TO have given our Engie one of the most loving caring childhoods ever. I can not imagine this being anything but canon.

I think Fred was so fucking sweet. Maybe he had a tough upper lip in what he believed but I SURELY believe he meant entirely well for his son. Sure, he was a merc, with a kid on the battlefield. But I don’t think he would have ever pulled out the stops for his son.

I think he was the type of man to say you couldn’t have a cookie but slide you one under the table just for tonight. To make hot cocoa because you had a nightmare. To care.

We’ll never know how much of a massive unadulterated concentration of autism runs through these fucks but I’m sure this is a hyperfixation, bleeding into generational trauma and expectations. I have very strong feelings about the Conagher family and its works.

Also, that’s not bringing up the concept of the respawn machine in relation to the classics! Engies probably seen his father die countless times!

(Squirrels this idea away for angst maybe)

Anyway, the Conagher bloodline NEEDS to be touched upon. I’m such a sucker for these sorts of things.

[dentiststoothfairy]

Hello, 🌺 anon here~ i hope you're doing fine!! I'm here for a little request :3

Could I ask for Aesop or Naib and a s/o with a very soft voice and an even softer singing voice? Soft and smooth like honey. They just love to sing and hum for their partner. Just....fluffy moments 🥺

[🎀🦷 𝙾𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛 🌺 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝! 𝙸 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕 𝙸'𝚖 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝟼 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚝, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸'𝚖 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔!]

⚰️ 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐏 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋 ⚰️ & 🟢 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐁 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐑 🟢

𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐒/𝐎 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞

⚰️ 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐏 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋 ⚰️

Now… Aesop has a pretty soft voice himself. It's pretty difficult to hear him, if at all, in a crowded room, so he'd very much appreciate a partner who is similar. 

Even if there was cannons going off, fireworks exploding just above his head, the screaming of a Banshee in the room. He'd somehow be able to hear your lovely voice no matter what. He's always attentive to your words, not just because of how soft you sound, but because he genuinely cares for what you have to say. 

Due to auditory problems from his autism, he can be pretty picky with what he wants to hear. Loud noises make him jump and flinch, he hates the loudness, so… the fact your voice can bring him a soothing mellow emotion is something he's so eternally thankful for. 

Whenever you talk, he just goes silent. Not that talks in the first place, but he just loves honing in on your voice. The way you pronounce words. The way you laugh about his awkward silence. It makes his eyes glisten with such fondness. 

And don't even get me started if you hum or sing to him. 

Oh my GOSH. He'd be so enamored. 

The first time he heard it? Could've sworn he was falling in love all over again.. Without the embalming thoughts. 

Whenever it's the two of you, and you're humming? He starts to quietly hum along as well. You two are very, very good singers. Perfect harmony. 

Although, he doesn't mind listening to you sing. It's something you like doing and it's something he likes to hear as well. 

Why is he floating-

🟢 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐁 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐑 🟢

Your voice is one of his favorite things about you. 

With all the pure unadulterated rage he feels in that war torn body he has, somehow the utter symphony of your words quiet himself down a bit. 

If you're talking and can't be heard? Expect a loud

"EVERYONE, SHUT THE HELL UP. Y/N WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING! !..." *vaguely gestures to you to speak*

You are definitely the soft spot to him. He tries to hide it but when he pulls shit like that, yeah everyone knows. 

When he's having a PTSD attack, there's nothing more soothing than you lulling him back into reality. His 100 mile stare can make him seem as if he's not all there anymore, but a gentle word in his ear and an even gentler squeeze of the hand can help slowly help him gain awareness. 

If he's having more of a … Severe one, yeah one or two cute words won't help him snap out of it quickly. You're gonna have to pull him out of it a lot more. But, if you can handle that (without getting too close because YOU WILL get punched), then he's forever indebted to you. 

And holy shit. When you sing? 

He thought he had died for a minute and some sort of angel or saint was guiding him back home. 

It had to be. There's no way someone sounds THAT good. 

Unlike Aesop, he's not the best singer… like at all. So he'd rather let the professional do it. 

Tip from me to you. Don't ask him to sing. You'll get "..... They call me da Merc… I'm all for the wor-"

[demented-tours]

hello!

i have been a fan of your works since almost a decade and it is safe to say that you’re one of my favourite authors to ever exist. i found your works through a03, specifically through the absolutely incredible dynamic of neji and kiba.

just wanted to come on here and say how much i adore all your works. especially the way you have written sai and captured his personality and autism so well, it holds such a special place in my heart (as do literally every character you have written)

i also wanted ask if there’s anything going to be added to the monoshizukanohi universe. it is beautiful and i am but ravenous for more. even if there is nothing planned, i have been and will continue to cherish the works you have put out there.

i have commented a few times on your works and also try to keep up on instagram but i feel too shy to actually come out here and say all this, hence the anon.

thank you so much for your service! (truly, and for free?! in this economy??? truly blessed)

- L

Well, hello there, Anon!

First off: thank you so much for sharing this with me. Notes like this remind me of why I do what I do, and that keeps me going through the chaos. All the virtual baked goods of your choice and many hugs, (if that's your thing; if not, then enthusiastic happy dances)!

Second: apologies for the small delay in responding; I've been under the weather. Also, if I've not responded to you over on A03, please bear with me, lol. I tend to do responses in batches. Sometimes interaction is difficult for me (neurospicy for the win).

NOW THEN! The good stuff.

Oh man, I love what you love! Writing Neji is just... so delightful. And Kiba's just the perfect foil for so many of my uptight/oblivious characters (ah, Gaara; you never saw him coming... until you definitely did, HA). And oh, Sai and Tenzou! I had no idea how cathartic that story was for me until the final page. I'm so glad you enjoyed those!

As for new Mono stories... Actually, yes. There is one in progress. It's another Origins story, like LET FREEDOM BLEED was. They're sort of the backstory/underpinning stories that star characters referenced and interwoven into what already exists. Keep in mind, I started writing Mono in 2008 (dear lord; where did the time go?); wrote pretty steady until 2014 or so; took a few years of unintentional break; came back to finish LESSONS IN LIVING; and then, well... The characters came knocking, again. I write Mono as a sort of... therapy, if you will, for myself. There's a freedom in writing fanfiction that just hits differently than the books/stories/etc. I write for paid publication. I don't think I knew I was doing that (the therapy thing) when I started, but I can definitely see it now, so this latest story is sort of... eh, a deliberate attempt? Or, like, I know it's helping me work shit out, if that makes sense? It doesn't impact the story, exactly; it's more just I know WHY I'm choosing to do this to myself, lol, lol.

I ramble. I do that. Point being: I AM working on something. I don't mind sharing that it's Itachi's story. It's called THE BELOVED MARTYR, and it is the longest thing I have literally ever written, and it's not done. Right now it's sitting at (are you sitting down?) roughly 900 pages, or 370,500 words. It spans Itachi's entire life (he's about 40 or so in current Mono canon) - so we see him as a boy, we see it when Sasuke is born, family, growing up, and just the sheer, unadulterated mayhem that is his existence. It has a cast of about 50 original characters (there's going to be an index of who's-who whenever this thing gets posted) plus all the usual Mono boys. It's basically my version of fandom canon--how the Uchiha family is old, powerful, and believes itself to be the shepherds of a new order under their control, but translated into the Mono world reality. Oligarchy, old Russian power, older Japanese power, the movers and shakers and often-criminal intrigue that affect global change and disaster... And in the heart of it all, one man who wants to stop the violence and heal himself and those he loves. One of my greatest loves in fandom is figuring out how canon could translate into my version of reality, and this one... considering Itachi's arch... is enormous and sad and lovely and aching all in one. I started writing it when my mother was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer (she's in recovery), and, well... It's also MY healing journey, in a way, lol--not just from that, but in life.

Grand themes, I grant you, but there's also humor and OH SO MUCH kink and violence and that nitty-gritty-teeth-clench thing that I loved about Rhythm & Bruise. We also get Nagato's backstory (my version of him), and yep, we get to see how Sasuke and Naruto meet and fall in love. People have been asking for that for years, and I've never really been drawn to write it, but it's a part of this because Sasuke is such a huge part of Itachi's life and purpose.

SO. Yeah. Um... in progress. I don't post things until they're done--I learned that lesson with LESSONS IN LIVING. I'm working on this in and around other novels and stories, not to mention the day job, which is ALSO writing, among other things, so it might be a while, yet. Occasionally, I post on this Tumblr (which is basically the only social media I use, these days, as i HATE Twitter/X or whatever and Instagram isn't made for words, really, etc.), so if you feel like hanging out, please do!

This is probably more than you bargained for with your lovely ask, but hopefully that's not a bad thing!

Regardless, I am delighted that you enjoy the stories, and I thank you so much for letting me know you're here.

All good things to you and yours, <3Dee

[skorchinq]

I binge read the entirety of Go For It, Nakamura! last night so here's some of my favorite panels! <3

Homophobic teacher </3 NO ONE ASKED YOU OTOGIRI-SENSEI

autism stare

I, too, have no idea how to join conversations... But honestly the main reason I saved this page was bc the bell was onomatopoeia'd as "BING BONG BEENG BOONG" which I think is a great way to describe the sound a school bell makes

"Maybe I'm bi..."

nvm it was just Hirose again

Ok this is just mean TTOTT

La lala lalalala~

autism stare part 2

Does anyone else think Hirose looks kinda like Adrien Agreste or is that just me

WAHOO‼️🎉🎉

NOT HAPPENING! GO AWAY!

This is somehow even more poignant than Shinji chair meme

80% of the Tumblr userbase be like

And now we move on to the second volume~

rip

AND STOP CALLING OOMORI A LOSER YOU BASTARD

pure unadulterated rage

He has been wailing for so many days, he has broken the world record.

pure unadulterated joy

This could make a great reaction image I think

So could this one

I'm going to be quoting "He's attractive, but also? Kinda sus!" for the rest of my days I tell you

Every panel on this page is the peak of comedy honestly. Especially fond of the look on Matsumura's face as he whips out the photos and the line "How do you like them apples?!"

[banrionandomhain]

Whenever I am feeling depresso expresso I need to remind myself to go watch the video of the green day crowd singing bohemian rhapsody.

Something about it helps to recalculate my internal compass of things good and beautiful and bright.

It’s just such a pure expression of joy and community and ALL THESE PEOPLE singing and cheering and

I don’t know how to express it

And all those people singing their hearts out on

“mama,

oooh,

I don’t wanna die

I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all”

That makes me not want to die

[the-joker-of-musicals]

dj propaganda

gay and homophobic. wears a long vest. monokuma but actually charismatic. kills for fun. loves a good eye motif. dies to the power of gay love and autism. like really. has a good southern accent. moans once. the actor who originated the role was on buzzfeed. torments teenagers. has a banging malloy song. has the same energy as grifter’s bone from tma. jumps off of tall platforms. half the fandom simps for him. comes in two flavors: elegant markiplier tumblr sexyman or angry blonde twink in a gamer chair. he is the moment.

marvin propaganda

marvin is a man who wants it all and rarely gets what he wants. he's a greedy patriarchal selfish bastard who grows into an openly loving, funny, charismatic father and lover. he tries so so hard all the time please god someone give him a break. he cheats on his wife and then leaves her for a pretty young thing. he's a gay jewish man in the 70's trying to make sense of how he fits into the world around him. the two seconds of unadulterated joy he feels in the musical are bracketed by everyone hating him in act 1 and fuck-you levels of tragedy in act 2. he's a dick. he's lovely. he's rich. he's not but hell he's smart. he's sweet. he's mean. he is marvin falsettos lastname, divorced, doomed by the narrative, gay and mad about it, a cringefail old man loser. he is the love of my life and the tumblrman of my heart.