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poealsobucky · 7 years

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Time to be Saved!

I’m spending Christmas Eve with Hot Joseph. Block ‘hot joseph 2017′ to disregard this post.

Sorry. I meant to start this earlier but my super Polish grandma would have come back to haunt me if I didn’t make pierogies first.

ANYWAYS. Let’s do this! Stream-of-consciousness style.

Disclaimer: I’m sober and was raised Catholic so some saltiness might appear.

Oscar I hope you know I’m watching this for you. Ugh. I could be watching elf.

Ooh there’s a word crawl! Foreshadowing?

Zachariah is gettin the good word - you’re gonna be a daddy!

Oh shit he just ripped off his sacramental garb!

Now we’re in a field.

Mary, you aren’t allowed to have fun. TSK TSK

There he is! HOT JOSEPH EVERYBODY! Checkin out Mary as she walks by!

You know, Mary’s parents are not very nice.

I’m having CCD flashbacks. Help me hot Joseph.

Ohhhhhh he’s hammering.fjdjdn

Wait dudes on horses are interrupting his hammering.

Oh fuck someone didn’t pay their taxes.

Joseph looks concerned

They are taking women to pay for taxes, fuck these dudes! HIDE YO DAUGHTERS!!!

Hide, Mary!!!!

HOT JOSEPH PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE ENOUGH CASH!!!

he BOUGHT THE MULE HE GAVE IT TO MARY THIS IS TRUE LOVE. HOLY MOLY HOT JOSEPH YOU ARE THE BEST

The prophecy ain’t no myth. You’re all fucked.

Okay there is Persia, we’ve moved everyone.

Codebreakers! Where’s dan brown?!

THESE ARE THE WISE MEN

They are intense.

Oh back to Israel.

JOSEPH IS THERE WAITING.

Mary just got told she was betrothed and now she’s married

See what happens when you accept a dude’s mule?

He just got the no sex talk from Mary’s old man.

She isn’t hearing it, she left

HOT JOSEPH I’M SORRY

MARY what’s up you saw him right? With your own eyes?

You will love him Mary don’t worry.

Joseph is good AND strong. Mary isn’t so sure. She guesses he’s like 5′7 1/2 though which is towering back then.

There are creepy whispers...is that Gabriel?

Mary found favor Idk they are talking softly

More CCD flashbacks.

She just takes this ethereal strangers word for it ya know. What is she gonna tell Hot Joseph?

Mary wants to go see Zach and liz

Looks like things are crazy on the road. She didn’t even say bye to HJ - based on what I have seen he won’t be happy

Elizabeth knew! She knew Mary was preggo

Hey it’s Mikael’s mom from The Promise!

The wise men are still at it! Those rascals.

Mary’s asking the tough questions.

Baby Jesus is moving - Liz, you don’t even know

HOT JOSEPH IS MAD!! HE IS POUNDING THAT HAMMER. Oh shit he threw it down! Someone has a temper issue!

“Melchior, I don’t wanna go on a road trip!!!”- the other two wisemen

Labor ?

Looks terrible!

Well. That happened.

Hot Joseph is super awkward. You can tell he’s a total dork. But lovable. I love that curly hair too, ya know?

Uh oh Mary is headed home!

Bad things happened on that road, too. what is it with these roads, man? They look like Game of Thrones stopped by.

Men in power. *yawn*

This one guy looks like a Jonas brother

Wait you are tryin to tell me only 2 wisemen set out?

Ah there’s he is “you forgot the map.” They bicker like golden girls !!

HJ is so happy!!! Mary is back!!!

His eyes are HUGE, he’s seein’ her belly omg

She walked right past him too, didn’t say anything.

Joseph wanders off, stunned. Well...this marriage is going well

He’s crying! Wtf Mary! You could be a little nicer! You’re the one that agreed to carry the messiah all HJ wanted was a nice house with a sturdy ROOF.

He chose her bc he thought she had great virtue!

TEARY EYED HOT JOSEPH NOOOO

HE IS PROTECTING HER FROM TRIAL, no stones for Mary.

BUT HE AINT OK WITH IT YET

His anger is intense! He’s walking...walking...some dude tries to hand him the biggest rock

Who are they stoning omg...wait a minute

He is dreaming !!!! There’s Gabe.

He believes her!! Gabe told him in his dream to believe her.

Ugh I think hot Joseph doesn’t get enough credit.

Bad men are coming. There’s a census.

Nothing good happens when people start taking notes. Especially the government.

HJ has to go to Bethlehem, the land of his ancestors.

Boy she hit the jackpot, didn’t she, with him. He’s like Sure I’ll walk the whole way and lead this donkey and not eat.

HJ just made a funny! They are passing all the dbags who whisper about them all the time and he goes, “they are going to miss us.” 😂

HJ is gutting a fish and speaking softly. He wonders if he can teach Jesus anything...awww...hammering stuff probably

They got stopped and got searched cuz of paranoid king nutbag.

Some fortune teller just mentioned the kid wasn’t his, ouch. The look he gave her.

Are they sacrificing the cow? “Pass your sins to the animal.” Really?

Omfg the animal isn’t receiving your sins you coward. You still have them because you’re evil. I hate them.

Poor donkey I mean... everything has it rough. But this donkey has seen some things.

HJ gave a giant piece of bread to the missus and took only a nibble for himself.

He fed the donkey his share. Awwww he’s petting it and talking to it. “I’m the hungry one,” he says. You cheeky little carpenter.

OH NO THE DONKEY SAW A SNAKE AND KNOCKED MARY OFF INTO THE WATER!

HJ saves the day!

He is doing so well but he’s exhausted. She is gonna wash his feet while she talks to herself and the baby about how pure Joseph is.

(PS - oscar sleeping is adorable sidenote red alert)

For HOT AIR, HJ’s curly hair is on point!

Ahhhh Jerusalem. “It was meant to be a holy city.”

Some dude grabs their coin purse. No, literally.

“What belongs to us, stays with us.” Don’t try to rob them.

Now to Bethlehem.

“What was your gift?” Mary asks the shepherd. “Nothing,” he replies.

I feel, shepherd.

She is in labor ohhhhhhh joseph it’s go time!

THERES THAT SHINY STAR

IT WAS JUST THREE THINGS ALIGNING I GUESS

HJ IS DELIVERING THIS KID. HES IN IT TO WIN IT

MAD LAUGHTER - Joseph is at a breaking point

NAKED BABY BUTT cover it UP

OMG HJ HOLDING A BABY ughhhhhhhhhh it’s too much

HOT JOSEPH LOOKS SO VULNERABLE

THE WISEMEN COMETH

it’s linus’ speech!

HJ is too much. I stomped to this movie expecting to laugh a lot at bad filmmaking but dammit oscar I wasn’t expecting this I wasn’t EXPECTING TO CARE ABOUT JOSEPH THIS MUCH I’M ROOTING FOR HIM (more than mary????? lol)

here COMES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

mary’s face thru much of this film has been fairly stony. Is she even present in the moment? haha

HJ cannot believe their gifts - the gold is his fav but he’s feeling the myrrh too.

The wisecracking wise man is in shock. He was sassy this whole time, too.

Ya know, at least Mary didn’t have to be a single mom.

The wisemen are keeping the secret. Probably for the best, dudes. You heard the crazy people.

Man I forgot what psychos these people were (are???!!!!!) over power

HJ getting the heck out of there just in time. He has to have SO MANY BLISTERS.

They are fleeing to Egypt

Apparently I didn’t pay attention in CCD, and also that poor donkey. I havent seen any of them eat in days.

Man kudos to oscar for ALL OF THE ENDLESS WALKING

And it’s over.

Thank you Hot Joseph.

#hot joseph 2017

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idealisticrealism · 8 years

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Blindspot 2x10 recap

(Aka the one where Patterson suffers more than she ever deserves to, and the team begrudgingly adopts Roman)

So, here I am, back by... well, vague demand... to provide you guys with another overly long and rambly recap. It seems that, regardless of what this show does, I will inevitably have a lot of thoughts and opinions about it-- and surprisingly there's some of you who are actually willing to suffer through reading them haha.

So I hope everyone had a nice hiatus/holiday period, and here goes.

Okay. Shit. I have to say that this show totally got me here with the whole Borden vs Patterson pistol duel. I was convinced that Borden would be the one who was shot, because who the hell would dare harm our precious Patterson?? The writers, apparently. (Sadists, the lot of them). Also to Borden's credit, he does sound genuinely horrified when he realises he’s shot her, and I do really still believe that he truly cared about her. But sigh, way to sink my ship, show. And then ugh my lil baby slumping against the wall and being all “don’t touch me!” and ugh this is the worsstttt

Ok where did Jane spring this fancy-ass car from? Isn't the usual method to go for something old and nondescript that can be hot-wired, rather than something that probably has like inbuilt GPS or something? But ugh anyway poor Roman looks like a freaking mess. But come on, Jane, bringing him in on your own is a terrible idea. The moment he wakes he'll be like a frightened and cornered animal and just lash out. Aaaaand yep, there he goes, with the head-smashing and the almost-shooting. And then he literally goes, tossing himself out of the car. That was kinda cool, tbh. But sigh, Jane honey, mistrust is practically a part of his DNA, of course he's gonna flip out rn. I feel so sad for her though, she's literally always just trying to help and yet only ends up getting beaten and battered because of it (either physically or emotionally) and then abandoned. Ughhhhhh.

Naw Readey baby. I'm so glad you're okay. And apparently enjoying the morphine buzz lol. And aww Zapata has been there watching over him and ugh this friendship is everything

Interesting that when Nas recaps the mission and the explosion to Weller, she doesn't mention that Reade suggested aborting when they lost a cell signal and she was the one decided to press on. Honestly rn I can't tell if her guilt over the dead agents is genuine or she's more upset that Shepherd both outsmarted her and got away. But of course Weller reassures her, because he supports his team no matter what. I just wish he hadn't placed his loyalty in her. Also I know Archie is a fantastic actress but I literally cannot stand the slow, pausing, breathy way she makes Nas speak. It just sounds so stilted and makes it difficult to actually focus on the scene. But I'm sure gonna try and focus because Weller has finally pulled his head out of his butt and is actually making protecting Jane a priority. (Hallelujah). Then he tells Nas they need to find her and she's all "I'm not hopeful"-- and yeah, I bet you're not, lady. You're probably hoping Jane DID die, so there's no one around to stop you manipulating Weller. But ugh the tears in Weller's voice... finally, boy, you're realising just how much you cannot lose Jane. And just bc I’m feeling magnanimous, here's a hint for that thick skull-- it's because you LOVE her, you idiot. Gawd. Anyway, Zapata is once again being cast in to the role of Team Anti-Jane, which is kinda freaking repetitive and annoying, but hey, the writers need to put other characters in opposition to Jane just to make Weller's support of her stand out all the stronger, making us ~love how he fights for her~ so we forget all the times this season he was a complete ass towards her. Like don't get me wrong, I love Jeller, and I actually also look forward to the moment that Zapata and Jane come through this with an even stronger friendship, because that's undoubtedly (or at least hopefully) what this is eventually leading to. But sigh, even though I can somewhat justify Zapata's behaviour as a result of her fear and trauma over the explosion and Reade's injury, I just wish her attitude towards Jane could be a little more nuanced and complex than the current GRRRR JANE'S THE VILLAIN HERE GRRRRR. And Nas doesn't bloody help by planting the suggestion that if Jane returns, it could just be to continue spying on them. Thanks, devil-lady. Next time I'll ask if I want your input. But aaaaaaaanyway, I'm gonna move on from that and instead cry a lil bit over "Jane was-- Jane is loyal." Oh, son. Took you long enough, you giant idiot. She just had to almost die for you to get there. And then ugh next thing we know Jane's being dragged into the bullpen and ughhhhhh "Please I just need to see if they're okay" aND UGH SHE LOVES THIS TEAM SO MUCH IT HURTS ME, she loves them even despite how poorly they've treated her lately (yes, they had ~some~ reasons, but seriously). And then ughhhhh Weller is charging over there like an enraged bull and I love that for a moment Jane doesn't know if he's angry at the guards or her but then he demands the cuffs to be taken off her and ughhhh she has a second of relief before she's apologizing over and over and desperately telling him that she didn't know-- bc lbr, from her past experience she would totally expect to be blamed for this, and she's not wrong (lookin' at you, Zapata and Nas). And then Weller PULLS HER IN FOR A HUG and she's all ??????? because whaaaat? Affection and reassurance?? What are these strange things?? But ugh the way her eyes close and she sinks into him for a second ughhhh I JUST WANT JANE TO FEEL SAFE AND LOVED AT ALL TIMES PLEASE. THIS IS ALL I WANT. But lol he tells her that they understand and there's a little camera cut to both Nas and Zapata who are very dubious as to whether they do understand and sigh I can practically read the rest of the season's theme in just this few seconds of footage. But anyway then ugh there’s Jane's distress when she sees that not all the team is there-- the terror that they might have been hurt and just ughhhhhhhhhh. Also thanks for that totally wooden-sounding line about Reade's surgery, Zapata. I’ve decided I'm going to interpret the stiltedness of Audrey's normally flawless delivery as her not approving of her own character's attitude lol. But anyway Jane drops the Borden bombshell (naww, she says "he doesn't work for us", because she's on their side and always has been and ughhhhh) but anyway everyone has a collective "oh shit" moment as they realise Patterson and Borden are both AWOL. And then Jane brings up Roman and then has to explain what happened to her (that's right, guys, Shepherd planned to make her watch you die because she knew that YOU ARE ALL* (*minus Nas) JANE'S FAMILY AND LOSING YOU WOULD DESTROY HER. CAPICHE??? Ugh. But ugh Jane tells them everything Roman saving her and then about zipping him etc. And sighhh Zapata's got her angry pants and Jane-glare on yet again, but again I'm going to put it down to fear for her friend's life because that's the only way I can justify it without getting annoyed by it lol

Aaaaaahhhhh my baby Patterson. Waking up with your wound apparently fixed by the very man who shot you. Interesting that it seems (from the DWB thing) that he was officially trained in general practice/family medicine, and yet can also apparently do the job of a psychiatrist, AND perform surgery. Amazing. Such skills. Also okay I have to say some things bc I have such an issue with this bullet wound. Like people always seem to get shot in the abdomen in movies and shows (even like Jane did at the start of the season), and it's always all "oh it's okay, the bullet missed vital organs" but like uhhhmmm you know what fills up like the entire abdomen?? Bowel. You know what has a ton of blood supply that bleeds like mad, and also contains bacteria that can easily kill you if it gets into your bloodstream? Bowel. Ugh. And don't even get me started on how unsterile this whole environment is. But aaaanyway, it's tv and therefore she's totally fine and dandy rn, even magically managing to pull the IV from her arm with zero bleeding and disconnect the other end from the bag without it immediately gushing all over the floor. Maaaagic. Still, the fact that she's planning on strangling Borden with an IV line is pretty badass haha. Tbh the tubing would probably snap, but whatever. And then aaaaaaahhhh Shepherd is there and Borden tries to bargain for Patterson's life, even though all it achieves is torture rather than death. Welll.... you tried?

Meanwhile the team's still searching for Roman, and Weller comes into the lab where Zapata and Jane are already running a search, standing on opposite sides of the table. Mmm, symbolic. I wonder if they spoke at all?? Did Jane try yet again to explain herself, to beg forgiveness even though her crimes are long since paid for and now she has nothing at all she needs to be forgiven for? Sigh. But anyway, Zapata used her hacky skills to use Patterson's system to track Roman's phone. And finally he answers and is all ??!!!?????!, which is fair, and ugh my little crazy puppy is more like a little lost puppy at the moment. I kinda wish Jane had told him his name was Ian rather than Roman, tbh. But ah well. Then Roman gives very vague directions for where he is (seriously, man, you could be a lot more specific) and ugh he's just such a mess rn. He's actually literally like a puppy, and can’t concentrate on anything but the most basic of needs and sensations. Naw my baby

Ughhhh poor baby Patterson, suffering though both physical pain and emotional heartbreak. I had such high hopes for you two. And then ugh "everything I did was for my late wife" and lol Patterson and I have the exact same reaction: "just what every girl wants to hear" lol. Ugh, my poor baby. Borden truly seems a little unhinged rn, which is so sad. I miss my beautiful sweet cinammon roll of a man. I miss the Borden from our fics, the sweetheart who is as loyal to the team as any of them, who uses his training to help them and his empathy to support them. That Borden is long gone, now. But omg Patterson "Oh I'm sorry. Your side sounds really cool, so you should just go ahead and untie me, because I'm converted" lolll. That’s my lil sassmaster. And then in the other room Shepherd’s finding out that Roman's been zipped and wow this show is really enjoying these dramatic sharp-closeup camera shots rn lol

Ugh Roman's exchange with the little girl. Slightly disturbing with the whole fork thing (though lbr I'm not a huge fan of kids messing with my stuff either lol) but kind of sweet in a sad way when he asks if he knows her. He's searching for any connection and is so saaaaad. And then all the 'hunters' (haha, get it? Coz they’re hunting him?) come in and wow that's a lot of practically identical looking dudes haha. It's like a camo print and baseball cap convention in here. And he gets the lady and the kid out but there are other customers in this place, what about them? You can see them in the background briefly but there’s never any screaming from terrified bystanders when the shooting starts lol. But ah well, mere details. Thankfully Jeller arrive in time to be part of the shootout, which ends when Roman stabs the guy who's shooting at them in the neck. Which is a lil vicious, maybe, but let's not forget Jane nearly choked a guy to death on her first day out of the bag. These two seriously have both survival instincts and protective instincts up the wazoo. Granted, him more on the former and her more on the latter, but still.

Ugh and now Roman's cuffed in the interrogation room and Jane is upset about it and Zapata's like "Reade's injured bc of him" which is not entirely unreasonable since Roman WAS the one that got all the explosives and helped set up the trap, so.... but then Nas, in her usual manipulative way, supports Jane-- bc while she agrees Roman is ‘the enemy’, she still wants to use him and she knows a gentle approach is the best way to do that. Wow, snake-lady, Weller sure picked a winner for his rebound. Well done, my idiot son, I’m surprised she hasn’t bitten your head off during sex yet. But anyway speaking of idiots, now they're all telling Jane she has to lie to Roman about zipping him, because even though they vilified her for lying to them (when she did it to try to PROTECT them), they're suddenly fine and dandy with lying when it serves their own purpose. And yes, I can understand their perspective-- Roman might be their only way to save Patterson. But Jane lying to him now is eventually going to destroy anything she builds with him in the future. And my, my, doesn't this all sound familiar?? Then she goes in there and ugh my poor lil puppy is still so lost. And she promises that the team can help him like they helped her and tbh part of me is kinda dubious about that, especially the whole "they helped make me feel full again", given how they've treated her this season... but at the same time it is also kinda true bc in S1 they gave her a purpose and a 'family', and at least in S2 so far she has still had the purpose part. Plus, she says 'helped', indicating that they weren't solely responsible for making her feel full again. I think a lot of that she did herself, just with assistance from Weller and the team and a little from Oscar and Roman and Oliver and basically anyone that she connected with even briefly. But still, the fact that she lies to someone she loves because the team made her is upsetting to me...

Speaking of upsetting, Shepherd's getting her torture on. Although honestly, as far as torture goes, this is pretty weak. All talk and no action, really. Like yes, a perforated eardrum hurts. But like Shepherd herself says, it does heal. Which was obviously what the writers were aiming for, because it's Patterson, and you can't permanently injure her or disfigure her since she's a series regular. But dude this torture is actually kind of embarrassing. People can perforate their eardrums just from cleaning their ears. Such a minor injury is hardly effective torture. And reinserting the needle in the same ear, trying to get her to suddenly break and talk? Completely pointless. If she was serious about torturing Patterson, she'd take an eye. Or smash her fingers, like she vaguely threatens to do but doesn’t ever get close to doing. Or if she wanted to keep her hands intact (ie, she wanted to use Patterson for her skills later) she could rip off fingernails or toenails. Cut off toes. Slice a bunch of cuts into her body. Break her legs. Poke her in her wound. There are literally so many ways to inflict pain on someone, and the fact that Shepherd supposedly chose this one only is just too ludicrous for me to believe. I mean c’mon, writers. As much as I would have hated seeing Patterson hurt, YOU chose to put her in that position, so you at least do it right...

Awwwww Roman's in the magic lie detector machine and he looks so sad and worried and Jane's there watching over him and ughhhh he just wants to help her and have her approval and ughhh my puppyyyy. Then Nas just ups and leaves partway through and Jane chases after her but Nas just shuts her down, then basically outright says that it's Jane's fault that they can't find Patterson. At least Weller hears that and very obviously dismisses Nas before reassuring Jane, clearly seeing how much she blames herself. And okay it's out of frame but from the way his body moves he definitely seems to put his hand on her upper arm and ugh FINALLY, BOY. FINALLY SUPPORTING HER IN THE WAY SHE DESERVES. And then as he walks off, Jane's left there all overwhelmed bc of guilt/worry over Patterson, the anger from the others, Kurt suddenly being on her side again (she's forgotten what that felt like, I bet), and also the fact that she now lied to Roman for no reason, since he wasn't able to help them find Patterson anyway. Sigh. I wish she had just gone back to the room and told him the truth right then, explained as best she could and apologised. Maybe it would have worked.

Interesting that Weller sent Nas off like a good minute before he headed to the lab, but they both walked in at the same time. Did they have a conversation outside? Did she linger around the corner and listen in on what he said to Jane? Or idk whatever lol, it’s tv. And so now we find out that Sandstorm has communicated in some kind of code that they need to crack, and one second Nas is all "oh shucks this is very complicated it might take weeks" and then the next she's suddenly like "wait look at that random book in this miraculously appearing photo, that could be the key to a book cypher!" Like wow, writers. You really didn't put much work into that one, did you? Like I understand there are time constraints involved with an episode but seriously that was just embarrassingly convenient. And then the ridiculous way Nas was all "okay so if we convert this and do that, it just might-- oh it worked!" Oh geez. C’mon. Give us a little credit here. On a brighter note, props to the other Laura (gypsyscarfwoman) who I believe noticed the book a few eps ago and commented on its possible significance given that it's the history of Rome and there's been strong Roman themes (hehe) in this season.

Oh look who it is, Mr Director Man, my initial fave choice for the mole. Still disappointed about that, though lbr he's still being shady enough that he could still be up to something. Also wow is it midlife crisis time or something bc his haircut looks like that of a teenage boy who’s trying to get in with the 'in crowd' lol. But then he basically tells Nas to piss off and I instantly take back anything bad I ever said about him. Forgive me, Pelly. Your hair looks great and your suit is the most dapper of all. You are the bestest and I thank you for freeing me of Nas She-Demon Kamal and also for rightly ascribing (at least partial) blame to her for the deaths of those agents in the explosion. Now, if only Weller would shut up and stop trying to get her to stay, that would be great. Gotta say, it's really not fun to see him trying to protect her, bc it kinda lessens all the times he did the same for Jane. But whatevvvs, I'm terrific at only seeing what I want to see, so consider the Weller parts of this scene zipped from my memory lol

Great, we're back at the useless torture, and clearly Patterson is as impatient with it as I am lol. And daaaamn she's dropping some truth bombs about the lack of loyalty amongst Shepherd’s followers haha. But seriously if Shepherd lets THAT get to her, she's not the terrifying warlord she was made out to be lol

So they've cracked the code, brought in the chick that owns the garage at the listed location, and now they're making a whole lot of impossible threats (Gitmo? Really Tasha?) before she admits she provided a getaway car to Borden. A car that was fortunately VERY distinctive and able to be picked up on traffic cams. So handy.

Lol Shepherd is still in the midst of a tantrum and decides that Patterson has to die. Well, that was several hours wasted for nothing then haha. Borden convinces her to let him kill her, and I'm stunned to see that he's actually about to go ahead with it. Also shaking my head at the fact that the tourniquet is improperly positioned and not tight enough (though it appears to be wrapped around a fake bit of arm so whatever), and the fact that he inserts the wrong type of needle that shouldn't already be attached to a tube, plus he does it without palpating the vein, and seems to think he needs a whole bag of saline to prove that the vein is patent rather than just a quick 5ml flush. Sigh. But anyhow while he’s farting around, Patterson is doing such a good job of talking him out of it, and he admits that part of him loves her (*wails*). And then when he hears the team’s car he holds her hand for a sec and tells her goodbye and ugh dammit you two. We could have had it aaaaaaalllllll

And so the cavalry has arrived but run into a bit of a bit of a dilemma of their own, the car flipping when they hit a damn landmine. The most shocking bit of the whole thing, though, is that Zapata jumps straight out from the back and runs to Jane's door, frantically asking if she's okay before calling Weller over to help free her. Is this a weirdly written backflip of her attitude or is this her real regard for Jane breaking through the anger that had been masking it? Personally I hope it's the latter, bc I've always liked to think that Zapata does care about Jane, and needs her, because right now she needs an outlet for all her negative emotions and (unhealthy as it is) she knows Jane will bear it, will be that proverbial punching bag for her because JANE knows she needs it (and knows that it isn't actually about her specifically at all). Hopefully it's a situation that doesn't last much longer as Zapata eventually finds better outlets (and apolgises her ass off to Jane). I just really need Zapata and Jane to be buds again. Sigh. But anyway ugh Weller pulls her out and they're clinging to each other for a sec until she sees Borden bolting for the trees and Weller takes off in pursuit. Really, son? It's like a bear trying to run down a cheetah. But sure, knock yourself out. Meanwhile I'm more excited to see the ladies save their other lady friend and ugh my precious babies. Even if Zapata and Jane are at odds rn, they can agree they both love Patterson and would do anything for her. #TeamBlindspotLadies

So somehow Weller caught up to Borden (I suppose it’s true cheetahs aren't great over long distances) and now they're getting into a punch-up, and while I can believe Borden probably got some martial arts training after joining Sandstorm-- possibly from Remi herself-- I still struggle to believe that he would ever win this fight. I did pause it at a hilarious spot just now though where there's just an upside down foot about to smack into Weller's face haha. And then Borden manages to cuff Weller's hand to his ankle, which is amusing but I definitely call bullshit, because anyone that’s been anywhere near handcuffs would know they would definitely not fit around a grown man's leg, especially not over his trousers. Not a chance. But whatever haha. And then ugh he says that Borden can't shoot him and he's all "not yet" and ugh remember when these two were buds?? Guys that would talk about sports during Weller's sessions but then Borden also always listened when he needed to talk about his dad or Taylor or whatever? I am so sad we lost that. Goddammit writers why couldn't you have just listened to me and made Pellington the mole. I guess I have to be thankful that at least it wasn’t Tasha...

Noooo Pellington stay away from Roman!!! Stop hurting my baby pupppyyyyyy. Ugh and now there's the tears and the yelling and damn I am impressed with Luke Mitchell rn. He's absolutely killing it this ep. And then aaaaahhhhhh Pellington is gonna send him to the CIA to be tortured just like Jane and okay I take back all the nice things I said about you earlier, getting rid of Nas doesn;t make up for hurting my puppy. But ughhh Weller and Jane stand together against him, and then Weller threatens to quit if Roman is taken away (ugh the way Jane looks at him when he says that, just let me die right now). But I wonder if Weller’s threat is just because he knows Pellington doesn't want to have to find a replacement, or if he's starting to suspect that Pellington might have other reasons-- possibly Sandstormy reasons-- for wanting to keep him in that role??? And then ugh he argues to keep Nas, and while that initially bugged me earlier (I'm sure it's rather clear by now that I'm less than a fan of her, and especially of her thing with Weller), his language actually makes it clear that he wants her back because her needs her knowledge of Sandstorm, and doesn't think he can figure them out and catch them without her. And with that lightbulb moment, I'm back to being just a little less displeased with Weller. Not overly happy with how he's suggesting to use Jane and Roman's connection to get info, but then Pellington is pretty ruthless in his methods so Weller probably has to pretend to be that way too, even if he's planning on doing things differently. But dude, he is so setting himself up to be screwed over, and when that inevitably happens (*cough* when Nas betrays the team *cough*) Jane is the one that's gonna be there, picking his ass up off the ground. Because she loves him, and helping others is just what she does. Also ugh Jane with her hand on Roman's shoulder while he looks down at her... I can't even deal with these two.They are my babies and i love them

Firstly, I love Reade's apartment and I want it. Secondly, hmmm, a patient who had major vascular surgery going home the same day as he had his operation? Yeah, nope. Not ever. But again, tv land, so.... *shrugs*. The teasing Reade and sarcastically caring Zapata is so great until bam! the world's most unwanted kiss bursts awkwardly into the scene. Oh Gero. Gero, Gero, Gero. WHATREUDOIN. I seriously hope that this kiss-- and her reaction to it-- was just a way to get the "will they get together?" question completely out of the way by giving it a resounding no. Although lbr I don't trust the writers not to create a scene later where Zapata comes to Reade and is all "I was too scared to admit it to myself but I know now I'm desperately in love with you, let's ride off into the sunset together". Which would be THE WORST. Honestly like 99% of the time I am like YESSSS GIVE ME ALL THE ROMANCE but this has just never been a romantic ship to me. This has always been two people who love each other because they are BEST FRIENDS, regardless of the fact that they have different sets of genitals. And it's not just bc I want Reade and Sarah to find each other again, or to see Zapata fall for the 'forgetful terrorist' that she currently dislikes so much. It's because Zapata and Reade's friendship has always been one of the most beautiful and powerful parts of the show, and to imply that that kind of connection can only be had if you're also getting naked together... well that just pisses me off, because it cheapens the whole thing. So quit it, Gero. This is a ship that should never sail, okay??? Let's hope Zapata sticks to her guns and Reade realises that they never would have worked and they both just agree to forget it ever happened

Ughhhhh Jane bringing Roman food and reassuring him that it's all only temporary and then giving him the coooooin and ugh their haaaaaands and the "we'll figure it out together" and aaahhhhhhhh save meeeeeee

And then ughhh here's my next favourite brother-sister relationship, with Weller bringing sunflowers to Patterson who is talking adorably loudly and ugh he gets choked up as he gives them to her and he tries to encourage her to rest but lets her show him what she found anyway bc he knows she needs it and so she shows him the article about Borden's death-- or rather, Nigel's death (lol Nigel Thornton just makes me think of Nigel Thornberry. Smashing.) But ooooh that was clever by the writers--- this ep is titled "Nor I, Nigel, AKA leg in iron". Which could be interpreted as Nigel having his leg in irons, aka being trapped. Shackled. Like they're implying Borden was kind of 'chained' to Sandstorm, with no chance for freedom. Also she insults Borden's medical school which upon googling doesn't appear to be a real one, so that makes me wonder if Hardyshire is a name or a brand that one of the writers doesn't like or something haha, and it's their own little in-joke lol. Then she talks about the book code and he asks how she knows and she says “come on, I read the notes" which I do not understand? Which notes? And then Weller FINALLY gives her the phone belonging to the Sandstorm contact (still betting it was Remi) and lol after Patterson splutters about having "all of the questions" they easily decrypt it with the book key. And so they immediately find a video file (is there more on the phone or just that one file?? Will we see more next week?? It occurs to me now that I haven’t watched the promo yet lol). But yeah what is this leopard thing???? I always thought her neck seemed strangely uneven by just having the bird on one side. So I assume they scrapped the leopard tatt, right? Like didn't do it at all rather than it being in invisible ink or something. Which means that maybe Sandstorm thought it was somehow too revealing, like it could tie back to them somehow? Or maybe whatever the tatt was about is no longer an issue? Or something???? (also did you notice how well behaved I was just now and didn't make a single comment on Jane's great butt haha)

So sandstorm is altering Phase 2 but Weller's role in it is still important. BUT WHAT IS ITTTTTT GERO JUST TELL US

Awwww nooo my baby Roman is having his first mempory, but it's an awful one (statistically, I guess that makes sense, given so much of his life has been awful). But ughhhhh idc if he was a terrorist before I just wanna give him a huggggggg

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #ngl I kinda forgot I did these for a minute #good luck wading through this mess of feels and thoughts tho lol

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deathascended · 6 years

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my thoughts during this episode since i watched it after it aired. spoilers under the cut

i’m really glad that they’re calling bullshit on theresa’s death like at least it isn’t COMPLETELY swept under the rug.

THE ROOM FULL OF BERNARDS I’M SCREAMING

stubbs is an angel and must be protected

leaving these men naked and dead like the hosts were constantly, amazing

ANGELA LOOKIN FINE IN THAT SECURITY OUTFIT

CLEMENTIIIIIINE

okay cool at least the free will thing isn’t being questioned anymore!!

gdi ford just give answers for once

oh no. is maeve gonna finally see the mib again OMG

FUUUUUCK THIS IS THE REUNION I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

YASS GIRL I JUST SCREAMED SO FUCKING LOUD KILL THAT ASSHOLE BABY

I’M NOTHING LIKE THE REST OF THEM GOD FUCKING RIGHT YOU’RE NOT

LAWRENCE NO

BUT ALSO LAWRENCE IS AWAKE THANK

LAWRENCE YES

NOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK

I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY DID THIS SHIT TO MAEVE AGAIN GODFUCKING DAMMIT

I’M SO MAD AT LEE FUCKING ALFKJADFH BUT I’M GLAD HE DEFENDED HER BUT I’M STILL MAD

oooh okay so that explains why bernard doesn’t remember shit

elsie went to dental school omg

‘i’m putting in for a raise’ lmfao stubbs i love you

charlotte don’t fucking bring attention to yourself

WAIT DID FORD ATTACH HIMSELF TO BERNARD’S BRAIN

god elsie please be careful

NOOOOO CLEMENTINE STOP KILLING MAEVE’S DAUGHTERS

GET THOSE BACKUPS ANGELA HELL YEAH

this guy needs to get fucked, he’s too damn cocky

is angela listing off the things that every woman is expected to be because SPOT ON

WHAT THE FUCK THEY BLEW UP THE CRADLE so angela is dunzo???

wow charlotte lmfao you got real lucky just now

teddy please don’t die. again.

shit teddy :///// but good riddance that asshole

‘i love you baby girl’ wow i’m actually crying a little ???

‘is that how you can justify what you’ve done to him’ YASS MAEVE CALL HER OUT

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HEAL MY GODDAMN BABY??? felix please find her and help her

can bernard just be left the fuck alone, ford needs to fuck off. he needs to be freed from ford’s bullshit

UGHHHHHHHHHH

#&. ▌ʜᴏsᴛ ᴏғғʟɪɴᴇ ✦ ooc.#spoilers*

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tellywoodtrash · 6 years

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ishqbaaz 21.08.18 lb

dang. straight to the point.

telling how the chunri slipped from her head right then.

lmao nikhil’s insecurity isn’t gonna be gone thanks to the divorce you dummy. his insecurity is wrt to A. your very large bank balance, and B. the raw sexual chemistry you seem to have with his girl.

idk what utopia shivaay lives in where a divorce in india is gotten SOOOOOOOO easily.

anika trying desperately to taalofy. good move, girl.

FUCK. FOILED. THIS FUCKER IS CARRYING A COPY IN HIS COAT POCKET AT ALL TIMES IT SEEMS. ONE TIGHT SLAP HE NEEDS. ASSHOLE.

lol he’s sooooooooo going to fuck up the papers. consciously or subconsciously idk, but he’s gonna do it for sure.

pehle aap pehle aap mein gaadi chootti jaa rahi hai fucking idiotsssssssss!

fuck he’s signing. HE’S SIGNING. FUCKING HELL BILLU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

DUDE LOOK AT HER FACE. DOES SHE LOOK LIKE SHE WANTS YOU TO??????????

iska adh-maraa chehra toh dekho while signing. chaanta lagaaon ya kya karoon iske saath?

where the fuck is om, he needs to bust in here and kick shivaay’s dumb ass from here back to the OU istg.

LMAO AT THE WAY THEY’RE JUST SAYING “SIGN” “WAIT” “MR KUKREJA” IN VARYING ORDERS.

snort pen ke bhi issues.

“chal raha hai” *grabs at it and clicks it a few times* SHIVAAY WHAT EVEN ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGGGGG YOU DUMBASS

abhi tak toh sign sign kar raha tha. jab woh sign kar rahi hai then you have the audacity to be all frozen and devastated? literally fuck outta here, shivaay.

of course.

a poor substitute for her chand bracelet btw.

of course, anika has gyaan to baatofy. bish tum toh kuch bolo hi mat. tangg aa gayi hoon main tumhare chutiyaape se.

shivaay you’re right and all, but *longest sigh ever* you just can’t do anything right, even when you try your hardest. i’m just so done with you.

son honestly. 87% of me is very happy at your tadap but the rest of me is just so sad for you. you poor dumb fucker.

also are they dyeing nakuul’s beard these days? it looks... darker in a not-natural way?

ugh you both are justtttttttttt suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh idiotssss.

but the angst! i loveeeeee it. delicious!

where are rikara, honestly??????????? THEY COULD BE USED SO WELL TO FUCK ALL OF THISSSSSSS UP SO SPECTACULARLY. USSI BAHAANE SCREEN PAR BHI DIKH JAAYENGE. WHY AREN’T YOU USING THEM YOU DUMBASS SHOW?!?!!?!?

oh thank god at least gauri’s here.

om’s here too. but that’s not what i want???? i want them togetherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. schemingggggggggggg. all up and close in each other’s facessssssssss as a bahaana of “plan making”.

ah fuck. he’s crying. that soft “ek minute, om.” the wiping his nose like a child. i can actuallllly feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel that tightness in his chest. ah mannnnnnnnnnnn.

fuck meeeeeeeee, why do i fall for man-pain, every single timeeeeeeee???????

this framing tells me that something is going to get hurled at the camera real soon. phone? that rack? aur kuch hai kya phenkne laayak yahaan?

rack it is.

lol why was om panicking from just hearing the magazines being thrown tho?

fuck. see? this is what i meannnnnnnnnnnnnn when i say this dude’s best acting is non verbal. just never give him lines ever again.

“main theek hoon. tu bataa, kya discuss karna hai?”

lmaooooooooooooo “bitch really???????” om’s face. honestly, he makes suchhhhh a good audience proxy.

sure. aal iz well.

same, gauri. #same.

ooooh khanna gets snack tasting duty. nice. how to get a job like this?

but like, without having to deal with shivaay as a boss. at all.

eeeeeeeeeeee cuteness!

every time gauri maarofies a taana about “aapke bhai” and om agrees, i get 4 days added to my lifespan.

....... and who the fuck is bhaiyya to “strictly” decide the wedding theme?????? neither the bride nor the groom, so how does his opinion even matter?

lol anika has the same point to make. itna sab kuch kar liya hai toh yeh bhi khud hi decide kar le bc.

UGH THESE TWO ADORABLE MOTHERFUCKERS. I WANNA SMOOSH THEM TOGETHER TO FORM A S’MORE FILLED WITH BEAUTY AND LOVE.

is khulle saand ko laal ka phobia hai? really?

the way gauri keeps looking towards ommmmmmmmm every single time, to bond over the inside joke, i can’t you guys! i just can’t! can you two just go make out in some corner somewhere??!?!!? why are you wasting your timeeeee hereee with these losers????????//

cyoot patoot. too adorbz.

ANIKA HE LOOKS NICE IN HIS NEUTRALS OK. PLS. APNE TAANO SE DON’T MAKE HIM CHANGE INTO OU ADVENTUROUS SSO. MAIN JHEL NAHI PAAUNGI!

lolwhut did om just say “oh my my!”?????????????????

pffffffffffffffffffft om you adorable creep. use these sexy hands of yours on that cute girl there, not on your damn brother.

baby sisters the cutest.

gauri out here kholofying all of di’s secrets. maine toh pehle hi kaha tha, yeh ghar ka bhedi hi lankaa dhaa degi.

also pool ka mention and paani ka darrrr means we all know what’s gonna happen!

om that’s a really dumb “solution”. one of these things is not like the other. the colour red cannot actually kill your brother. lord.

ohohoho unintentional emo moment in middle of hasi mazaak.

this is the dumbest fucking “challenge” ever to get them both in the damn pool. like... just have her fall in man.

lmao he’s sooooooooooooooo mad at being challenged tho.

not listening to this ainvayi ka chutiyaap because:

UGHHHHHHHHHH WHAT EVEN ARE THESE FACES!?!?!

lmao this is the most accurate pictorial representation of the sibling dynamics here rn.

god, what even are these technicolour kapde. i feel like i’m dropping acid.

lmao she’s sooooooooo bored.

omggggg i love how she noped outta that convo with nikhil to go talk to om instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

be still my aniKara loving heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also #omkaraIsBae

LMAOOOOOOO THE TWO BABY SISTERS’ REACTIONS ARE BEST.

matlab maanna padega is bande ke confidence ko. looking smug wearing... THAT.

you know it’s true love when you’re dressed like that and she looks at you like THIS. #loveisblind

lol ok shivaay, enough with the smizing already. you’re way too short to be ANTM.

lolololol chachi’s reaction.

talk about upstaging the damn bride. how fucking rude, shivaay.

but i guess the bride explicitly asked for it so......

i cannot get over the range of emotions om went through in the last 30 secs:

lmaooooooooooo and finally his kinda proud mama hen look, like “see? see how hot my bhai is? abhi bhi der nahi hui hai bhaabi!”:

ugh ok enough of this slo mo nonsense already.

oh great. naach gaana. i actually like this song though. imma just forward around a lil bit to see if there’s any good rikara bits, though lorddddddd, kunal’s dancing is just *shudder*

TFW THE WEDDING PLANNER (WHO’S BRIBING YOU TO GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE) AND YOUR TO-BE WIFE ARE EYE-SEXING EACH OTHER AND NO ONE GIVES ONE (1) SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOU.

wow even chachi is shipping shivika now. such is the power of colour coordinated couples.

THIS IS SO RANDOM. WHY’S HE DANCING WITH HER WHILE NIKHIL IS STANDING THERE??????????? AND THE LAMEASS CHALLENGE WAALE ISHAARE BS. AND THE FACT THAT THEY MADE RIKARA AND PRINKU THE BG DANCERS??????????? THIS IS ALL JUST SUCHHHHHHHH BAKCHODI OF THE HIGHEST ORDER AND I CAN’T STOP CRINGE LAUGHING.

same, saasumaa. honestly, #same.

but then he’s paying for the whole wedding. so let him dance with her, i guess. lol.

bro this isn’t appropriate in desi society even if you’re the fucking groom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT EVEN ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!!??!?

LMAOOOOOOO CHACHI THO.

literalllllllllllllllly no fucks given. amaaaaaaaaaazing. the balls on these two. i have no words. honestly.

lmaooooooooo poooora gaana hone ke baad, after finishing his grind up on the bride, shivaay pulls nikhil in as an afterthought. just... what a guyyyyy.

THEY STILL WON’T STOP EYE-FUCKING OMG YOU GUYS I JUST CACKLED OUT SO LOUD THAT I STARTLED THE CAT AWAKE. JFC. THESE TWO ARE JUST SOMETHING ELSE.

someone please get kunal some anti seizure meds for the epileptic fit he’s currently having.

(i’m sorry! he’s just SO BAD. WHY DO THEY MAKE HIM DANCEEEEEEEEE???????????)

I LEGIT HAD TO PAUSE THE VIDEO COZ I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. THIS POOR DUMBASS. I DON’T THINK ALL THE MONEY IS WORTH THIS BEIZZATI.

ohohohoh. time for dream sequence.

i mean i like this song and all, but come on, it’s fucking 10 years old. why not something nice and new? the dhadak title track really fits them rn. ugh.

also the choreography is really some trite bs. honestly, some effort would have been nice.