#UGH IM SO SAD i dont understand why she
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#what do you do when you feel like everyone else in your friend group cant see or recognize how annoying a person is#sjshsksbsksnsksjs i cant stand her i get so annoyed when i see her or hear about her that ive just had to leave#and tbh my mental has been a lot better since......#idk its gotten to the point where i struggle ignoring her or being cordial because im just like âOH MY GOD get over yourselfâ#yeah were all sad it doesnt make you special and you arent the most sad either#people who make how depressed they are part of their personality / their only personality trait are my biggest pet peeve#and i think a big reason for that is i used to do that so i understand but like that will only make you continue to feel worse because#youre like always acknowledging the sad and youre building your life and personality around how sad you are to the point where you CANT get#better because sadness is part of who you are and it feels like losing that sadness is losing the only part of yourself you know and#understand#but no!!!!!#thats just how you stay sad!!!!#some people think if you arent sad forever then your depression isnt as real as other peoples and i think she is that way#which is another reason i cannot stand her bc she thinks im not depressed too just because i dont talk about it#bitch!!!!! ive tried to kill myself!!!! i have self harm scars that will never heal from 10 years ago!!!!!#but i dont make it part of my personality!!!!! why would i!!!!#ugh im so annoyed that i feel like i have to prove myself#and its like if im not depressed all the time then i never was depressed#when bitch i was put in a psych ward!!!!!#i hate her#tbh#im starting to think i cant go back#i miss a lot of people but bc of her i just hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#vgobvent
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#personal#ugh#not a day goes by where i dont think of her /:#we were such good friends /:#and like admittedly i needed to take space after all that i don't regret it#but i h8 that she prematurely apologized b4 even hearing my frustrations or why i was hurt#bc she apologized for what she THOUGHT i wanted to hear#and it sucks /: cause i really hope she's doing better#i hope shes ok#and i miss her#but i cannot bring myself to message her bc like......#i just don't understand how you hear your friends say something shitty happened with someone ur involved with#and blow up at them and demand proof of it#like i dont care how stressed you are with other stuff .......... who does that??????#nvm the fact that like. majority of the stress she had expressed to me then was literally about...... the ppl who did the fucked shit.......#idk. im just sad#she made me feel so seen and held and heard and we were just friends but like..... i cherished her so much ):#ALSO NVM THE FACT THE DAY BEFORE SHE DID THIS I LITERALLY TOLD HER (after talking to her abt smthn separate) tht#the only way we'd stop being friends is if she did LITERALLY exactly what she did#and yeah she sent it to my Wife's DMs#but honestly that makes it worse cause she knew i was there#nd treated my wife after all that like she was an evil meanie while she apologized to me#(which imo idc it reads and transmisogyny)#and she just like. up and left Everything b4 realizing she fucked up#like she did choose this#and im respecting that and respecting myself enough not to try running and begging her to be friends again#i just. idk man. it sucks
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fngfdjngjdfkng
#bro fucking stupid like why did i just not look at applying to masters until now#i'm so dumb like ig it was bc i ws just like i'm not gonna do masters im just gonna try to get a job#which like how the fuck am i supposed to do that lmao but#now i dont think i can even apply for masters at my school at least#bc i need fucking letters of rec and the deadline is the 15th#and i Barely have 2 ppl i would ask for letter of rec idek if the second one counts lmfao if she's not at my school#jfc im so why do i have to think about the future :c i just wanna do glowstick club things that's why i haven't been thinkign abt this lmfa#yeah so now i dont think i can do masters here :c which also means i dont have that as a reason to hang around and stay in glowstick clublo#i could still do that but#ugh whatever im trying to write a fucking cover letter rn for a job i hate this already i've barely done anything lmfao#i dont super understand the job description which is maybe a sign i shouldnt apply lmfao but it's like#data science w my year and i feel like i meet some of the qualifications so#just gotta somehow bullshit another paragraph of this cover letter together#i also dont even know if i actualy wanna fucking do a data analyst job like#i kinda wanna work for like a non profit or smaller org kinda thing all this shit sounds hella boring that i keep seeing for bigger#companies lmao which im not saying would no be the case for smaller but#idk i jsigsdfhjlbgpidwurhgbipwdhgfudjshlk why did i start this so late LMAO#i had a job opening that i was gonna apply for that looked pretty good and i felt pretty qualified for just based on the listing#and the deadline was the 15th but it fucking disappeared the job isnt there anymore ig im so sad lmfao#as;lkfngbjifbgqipurgipqhrgfipuaf i hate this :DDDDDD#jeanne talks
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ËËËłâš"i really do love you.. im sorry"ËËËłâš
-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?
masterlist
as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..
âhellooooâ scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.
Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. âwhatâre you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?â
âsorry.. i just spaced outâ you said embarrassed.. âjust continue the movie, ill pay attention this timeâ.. Scara simply muttered a small âfineâ and resumed it.
Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.
âYes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....â
âooh i just bought a new bikiniâŚ..â
âwont it be too sunny? ill get tanneâŚ.â
you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip⌠you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.
âguys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are closeâ
âagain? but didnt you say the same last weekâŚâ
âoh come on! itll be so funâŚâ
âugh she does the same everytimeâŚâ
Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..
The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..
Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..
You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..
But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..
Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..
You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.
âwhere the fuc- YOURE HERE?â Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. âIve been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat somethingâ
You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. âScara?â he was about to leave but turned back to look at you âyeah?â
âI love youâ
He chuckled in confusion âyeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.â
You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..
You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..
And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..
Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..
There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.
âIm so tired⌠Im so tired..â You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. âi hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be doneâ
You took a deep breath in.. âi really do love you.. im sorryâ...
âŚ..
tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25
#scara x reader#depressing shit#su!cidal#genshin angst#angst no comfort#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x reader#scara angst#scaramouche angst#genshin impact angst#angst#heartbreak#heartache#angina#tw disordered eating#dissociation#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin drabbles#Genshin Impact#genshin impact#prishpublishâĄ
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Yall roleswap au but Marie and Henry switch places during the final confrontation
Like Forrest still gets trapped in the producer booth but Marie strolls in, maybe knocks down a speaker or upturns the couch, saunters over to the recording booth and hits the âPress 4 Peggyâ button, turning the microphone to herself.
Forrest: Dawn.
Marie: *does the single finger at a time wave* Forrest. Iâll be honest, you donât look how I expected you would. Not bad.
Forrest: I donât have time for your bullshit, Dawn. Whereâs Peggy?
Marie: ugh, temper, temper. Weâll get to her later. For now, I thought we could end tonightâs Whistling Man special with a special guest.
Forrest: you?
Marie: *laughing* no. If my timing is right, you should be getting a call coming in any minute now.
Forrest: just what the hell are you- what? The board⌠itâs a call?
Marie: *absolutely done being nice* answer it.
Teddy: LET ME GO, YOU SON OF A BITCH! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
Henry: *heavy breathing*
Marie: welcome to the air, Mr. Teddy Gallows Junior.
Forrest: so there WERE two. Thatâs how youâve been getting around so fast!
Marie: arenât you a clever boy.
Henry: *loud breathing*
Teddy: you son of a bitch, your breathing is too god damn loud I canât hear a word theyâre saying!
Marie: DONT yell at him, or Iâll have him slit you ear to ear. Itâs okay, honey, you can remove your mask now. Poor thing, no wonder Mooney went crazy wearing these.
Henry: *muffled scuffle noises*
Teddy: itâs⌠just a kid! Wait, hang on, you look familiar somehow. Kind of like this girl I used to know twenty years agoâŚ
Marie: Iâm back, Teddy.
Teddy: Marie?! Marie Campbell?! It really IS you! Boy, it sure has been years since I heard your-
*Henry kicks the shit out of him*
Teddy: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!
Marie: he doesnât like kissasses.
Forrest: wait. If youâre⌠Georgeâs girlfriend⌠then⌠who is that with Teddy right now?! What do they have to do with any of this?
Marie: Forrest Nash, let me introduce you, and all of Gallows Creek, to my boy, Henry Barrow.
Forrest: Hello, Henry.
Teddy: ow!
Marie: donât mind him. heâs shy.
Forrest: what do you want, Marie?!
Marie: *examining her knife* well, since you did such a good job in piecing together everything thatâs happened, I want your help in revealing what really happened that night twenty years ago.
Forrest: meaning?
Marie: I want you to interview us.
Forrest: and if I say no?
Marie: *tosses her knife in the air and catches it* *clicks her tongue and shakes her head* guess thatâs a wrap on Forrest Nash, then.
Teddy: you bitch! What makes you think Iâll play along?
Teddy: OW!
Marie: seems like you found a good enough reason on your own.
<the interview is pretty much unchanged, with the added visual of Marie physically turning around and holding the desk when she gets too upset to answer>
Peggy: *getting closer* MARIE?! MARIE- huh?!
Marie: honey, put your auntie on the phone for me, please.
Peggy: GET OFF ME-
Forrest: PEGGY!
Marie: Peggy⌠itâs meâŚ
Peggy: Marie?! Where are you?! Are you okay?!
Marie: Iâm better than Iâve been in a long time, Peg. Your good friend Forrest has been keeping me company. For now.
Peggy: what- I donât-
Marie: frankly im a bit sad you forgot my voice⌠I called up so many times hoping youâd rememberâŚ
Peggy: you⌠you were Dawn⌠thatâs⌠thatâs why you asked us to play that songâŚ
Marie: good to talk to you again, Peggy.
Peggy: Marie, what happened to you?! You just disappeared one day and-
Marie: disappeared?! I was thrown out! I begged mom and dad to do something about what happened that night. But did they care? No. They told me to stay quiet. They only cared when they learned Iâd been with George, and thenâŚ
Peggy: thrown out?! I donât understand-
Marie: does the handsome young man in the dark trenchcoat look familiar to you?
(Optional teddy line here: familiar?! Heâs your spitting image!)
Peggy: heâsâŚ. Oh my God, MarieâŚ. Iâm so sorry.
Marie: itâs not your fault.
(The rest of the dialogue basically remains the same)
(If Peggy dies, Marie briefly drops to the floor before picking herself up.)
Yall sometimes I do cook okay
#killer frequency#text post#marie campbell#henry barrow#peggy weaver#forrest nash#rose is just yapping again
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it took me two weeks but i finished season 5!!!! because i was on holiday for some of it i assumed it would take much less, but the wifi was shit and then once i got home something in my apartment broke so i just couldnt deal
anyway!!! here's my thoughts:
im sorry but no other disaster will ever compare to the tsunami. the earthquake came closest, but what in the world was this one??? especially because it didnt even get resolved, what do you mean the hackers just gave up? WHAT? that makes absolutely no fucking sense.
athena's storyline throughout the disaster episodes was fucking amazing though. i love her. and i love that harry had a bigger role too!! honestly, the way that dude was able to simply walk out of the courtroom was .... ridiculous but well i dont watch this show for its realism!!! but the way the storyline from the beginning of the season affected the entire grant-nash family was really great
michael and david???? hello that episode was amazing, the fire at the hospital, bobby going in and telling david that michael was going to PROPOSE!!!! i loved that episode, honestly big calls like that one are soooooo good!!! very sad that michael and david just straight up disappeared wtf
may!! i love you may. you are amazing may. you deserve the world. i loved seeing her grow and her conflict with her coworker. and I LOVED getting to know the other employees at dispatch even more, seeing their personalities shine through.
speaking of dispatch THE FUCKING BOSTON EPISODE??? i mean maddie straight up leaving and shit already affected the entire team ect and it was clear to see throughout the season but the boston episode was (to me) a kind of "maddie begins again" episode, where she slowly heals and gets back on her feet.
chimney is so fucking in love with maddie, i dont really understand why they broke up but i know they'll find their way back to each other. also. he's an AMAZING father. he loves his daughter so much and its wonderful to see. and the comeback of eli? i love that character, truly amazing to see him come back for a bit. and chim is just... SO GOOD!! he is so underrated imo but he's just an amazing friend and coworker and just kind. i know he fought with buck and whatever but thats kind of understandable imo
idk why the writers this season thought they should just make ALL of the grant-nash family go THROUGH it this season but bobby??? i felt like he was so close to relapsing so many times, i was truly afraid more than once. he cares about his team and his family so deeply. having him relive his trauma of losing his family in the fire not just with david but with MAY??? god that episode was amazing. truly. bobby nash i love you. and may calling him her dad? im sobbing. the almost relapse? wow.
this season has been really good and doing callbacks to earlier incidents and forcing characters into situations similar to previous traumas, especially with the mayday episode with both bobby and chim. when him and albert were together on that roof my heart dropped, even before albert almost fell in.
i hated lucy at the beginning but i liked her when she wasnt focused on buck. i know he's hot or whatever but you're literally hotter and can do better, please go find lena bosko and hook up. i feel like she finally became a more fleshed out character towards the end of the season and thats when i really liked her. i hope she shows up again in the next seasons, but this show seems to have the habit of forgetting some female characters exist after some time aka after they served the purpose of helping with character development for a male character (LIKE LENA FUCKING BOSKO???)
i love albert, i hope he finds something that fits him better and that he still shows up occasionally.
i want more ravi. what the fuck. bring him back. he's so cool.
i loved hen's mom!!!!! and her love story this season??? UGH amazing
hen and karen truly are just *that* couple. i love them together, i love them seperately, i need karen to interact with the other members of the 118 more often. also where did hen's med school storyline go????????? im lost. anyways hen was so fucking cool this season, she was an amazing fucking friend and she was so supportive of chim and her instincts are once again right and no one should ever doubt her because she is amazing and smart and stunning and beautiful and kind and spectacular and i love her and her family. i missed her and chim together tho. i just want them back. but also i want her to mentor new paramedics, i feel like she would be amazing and at the same time would force her to learn to trust different paramedics again.
buck this season. you pissed me off when kissing lucy and then asking taylor to move in instead of confessing. but i like that he then DID tell her. but not cool. i really like that this season buck seemed to just show what good of a friend he can be. especially to eddie. also, buck didnt see his sister for like six months, i do wish we had kind of seen how that affected him a bit more. i liked his relationship with taylor, i like taylor. she is clearly more focused on her career than building a relationship and trust ect. but i dont think she's a terrible person. i think they will be better off as friends and i hope we see them interact again from time to time.
eddie. eddie. eddie. my love. i lvoe you. pls. i am VERY glad he finally had a mental breakdown and dealt with at least SOME of his trauma. he is such an asshole sometimes, i love his comebacks to his coworkers and friends. i love him and i love his love for christopher. those two love each other so much. but yes i loved seeing eddie cry this season, i loved seeing him talk about his feelings and learn and grow and i loved seeing him with his friends and new coworkers at dispatch. him and josh being frenemies is so funny to me, maddie should invite the two of them over for dinner or something and watch them interact while eating popcorn. i think she'd enjoy it. him and buck's friendship this season was everything to me, they were able to lean on each other. and when chris called buck while eddie literally trashed his room?? jesus fucking christ. i love the three of them. eddie's breakup with ana was COLD. that woman just looked after your son while you were on shift for longer than expected, you couldn't have let her go home and rest before breaking up??? please free the women of la from him. perfect breakup for gay storyline btw, but anyways. and him knowing right away that bobby was drowning in his guilt and going to drown himself in a bottle and going there to stop him? without even mentioning his suspicions. i love him learning to talk to his friends and family more about his and their feelings.
sad to know that that dude from the mayday episode has not yet shown up again in josh's life, because they would be cute together and josh deserves to have a personality outside of work.
the episode about the prison break ect was super cool and interesting. and also the episode about that bitch ass jonah. i hope he rots for hurting chim and for traumatising hen. asshole. i wish bobby had punched him some more.
comeback of clipboard buck. we need one per season minimum.
anyways this season was super good and fun and i loved it especially because eddie had a breakdown this season and because so many of the 118 and friends had to learn how to cope with their ptsd or relive their trauma in different ways, it felt like it gave closure to a bunch of storylines (except for helping eddie move on from the death of his wife).
#911 show#911 abc#911 season 5#911 season five#evan buck buckely#athena grant#bobby nash#henrietta wilson#howard chimney han#eddie diaz#may grant#harry grant#carla price#athena grant nash#maddie buckley#christopher diaz#karen wilson#lucy donato#taylor kelly
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what's your honest opinion about the love interests? (both mcl and eldarya)
for example, no matter how handsome some of them are, I just can't like them (in fact, most of them are annoying to me)
ugh no yall gonna hate me forever lmao- ANYWAYSđĽš
nath & nevra: they are so similar, their story, behavior so its pretty easy to love them both (i mean if they r your type lol), they can do no wrongđ i cant really express my love for them, but yall know how much they mean to me so WHATEVER, just stan them !
armin: ahh he's such a cutie but also was very thoughtless, he did some bad shit in high school, but idk i just love him so much, best friends brother AND the gamer boyfriend trope are VERY entertainingđ
kentin: yeah well im not that okay w going from good boy to bad boy bc why???? and he was pretty rude to candy, when they were childhood friends and she did nothing wrong to him so i didnt understand it, but when he changed he was such a cutie. alternate life kentin is just ughhh THE CUTEST.
castiel: the good girl x bad boy trope is awesome, but sometimes he's an asshole, especially when he teases nath (high school), hate him for that, but his character development was cool and tbh i really REALLY like him w amber so... i have to say that she would've been the better choice, not candy. DON'T HATE ME. they were just more interesting TO ME. he and candy r lovely as friends tho <3
priya & hyun: they are cute and good friends! priya deserves everything and more <3
rayan: unpopolar opinion: hes ugly. and what the fuck. a teacher? lol.
eric: đ you dont want me to talk about this shithead, worst """love interest""" ever. please, you cant even call him as it lmao
lysander: well... ah please dont exile me, but hes a colorless character. the whole person is boring as hell to me.
ezarel: MAN I MISS HIM SM... hes such a silly character, im mad beemoov didnt bring him back in s2 and that nevra never talks abt him when they were like brothers. id love to see him and miiko in ep 20 (im a delulu<3).
leiftan: idk i just love his demonic side and his obsession with erika in s1đ¤đ¤ he's so supportive, but in s2 his story is so sad lol, he deserves better. he's not even that happy anymore-,, i love the tension between him and nevra lmaoo
valkyon: :) i love him as a friend and he def deserves so much better. i wish they could bring him back:/
uhh... help. ill be short.
the traitors: so... lance in s1 was EVERYTHING. i loved how cute he was with erika once or twice lol, but still, as the enemy its something. i just dont understand why beemoov didnt see the potential in season ONE ; the enemies to lovers trope would have been the greatest. seriously. uhm... no comment for season 2. i hate him as much as i can, lets be honest he looks like an annoying rat (SORRY) and im sorry beemoov, but i will NOT accept the enemies to lovers NOW after he killed his brother. erika had every opportunity to kill him, but ofc beemoov, keep him.
yeah about mathieu, hes as colorless as lysander, but even more.
manifesting an execution for both <3 (still a deluluđ)
if you still like me after all this, i love u:')
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Actually offense. The Percy Jackson Tv show had no suspense. Everything was stated out right we never got to wonder or be suspicious/surprised because everything was stated. Some Examples Medusa, The fates, Furies, EVEN CRUSTY FOR GODS SAKES. There was no build up, even the Summer solstice failed. It was supposed to be a DEADLINE but they went passed it and brushed that off in one convo with Zeus. Hades complete mood switch???? Why was Athena so petty?? Like yes Athena is most likely petty but she wouldnât take a risk like that its, NOT smart.
Dont get me started on the last episode Traitor reveal. NO SUSPENSE No dramatic drop just. âYour the lightning thief..â LIKE BRO WHAT WHERES MY 60 SECONDS.
Im sorry to say this but I wasnât content or happy with the tv show. Even the Cgi was weird and the fighting was terrible. The sparing they did with Luke and Percy was the best fight scene in that while show⌠and that is just sad. Even the fight with ARES was underwhelming. Im hoping theyâll take this criticism and really change that for season two I want dramatic drops, build up, TIME TO BREATH. MAYBE EVEN A LONG FIGHT? They drop so much lore and so fast you donât have time to digest.
Im pissed about the May lore drop WE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT HER UNTIL BOOK 5. ANNABETH WASNâT EVEN ALLOWED INSIDE (or it was just the kitchen I believe) BUT STILL. Annabeth was almost as clueless as Percy if I remember correctly. Even if she wasnt she doesnât have the right to spill that secret of Lukes like girl what?? Luke shouldnât have told about Thalia but still at least she was his friend as well but his trauma about his mom was not yours to share also guilt tripping Hermes??
Mayâs fate wasnât even really Hermes fault. He tried to talk her out of it and it was Hades who cursed the oracle in the first place. Im just so upset about all the secrets that were revealed early.
The acting didnât have much emotion or I felt they portrayed it wrong. For instance Percy reacted to almost everything with the same face. The show was way to dry for my liking. Percy jackson is supposed to be funny. Sally kind of seemed like a mean mom iykwim. I mean she just had no patience for Percy at all and it constantly felt like she was guilt tripping him⌠no just me??? I get that shes a struggling and single parent but Whattt???? Sheâs supposed to be supportive, kind and loving. If I met that sally I wouldnât expect her to sit me down in her kitchen offering us a blanket and cookies.
THEY DID GABE FOWL. They did him so poorly that man did not deserve to die sure he was a dead beat but seriously?? Tartarus would not smell like him. They should have just let him get divorced it would have made sense but turning him to stone?? For what being a lazy, grouchy stepdad??
Gabe in the book was abusive manipulated just a straight up Piece of sewer gunk. He HIT them he abused them and manipulated them into staying quiet. The entire scene with the cops and everything. The guy in the show tho?? He looks like heâd fall over from the raise of a hand bro wouldnât even be able to throw a punch. He doesnât even have a job?? He looks like the worst he would do is yell and make fun of you because heâs probably projecting because heâs completely useless but deserving death?? He was more of a nuisance he didnât deserve to die being divorced and alone forever I canât understand but seriously??
Also the Percabeth slow burn⌠theyâre pushing it they were just friends in the first book maybe in the second we start getting into it. But seriously the first season? She just started opening up to him in the first book. WE DIDNâT EVEN GET THEIR TALK LIKE UGH WHAT I wanted the Annabeth backstory about her dad but they didnât have the convo about her going home for the summer we didnât get into it. Theyâre overcooking my 5 book long slow burn.
They stuffed to much into too short of episodes that we didnât get time to breath or get to know our characters. It was just a one minute battles here and there, a few conversations about impending doom and Percy being sad about his mom like. I know Iâm being Petty but they should have split most of those episodes into two so we had more time to learn about our characters or digest the info dumps. The first episodes had me reeling I swear my head was swirling. The characters themselves didnât have time to breath âOh your claimed by poseidon now you have to go on a deadly quest to find the master bolt everyone thinks you stole but we think hades stole it also he probably has your mom.â Why are they shoving everything in our face. Percy in the books had 3 DAYS to come to terms with his parentage but show percy had like a day AT MOST.
I donât know, they just could have done so well but they didnât. I swear Mikey mouse must have tied Rick to a chair no way he said yeah this is amazing or a good script decision. THERE WERE SO MANY PLOT HOLES or decisions that didnât make any sense.
#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#opinion#just an opinion#dont need to agree it is just what I think#pjo spoilers#pjo series#show criticism#pjo show criticism#I apologize if I offended anyone
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ENTRY TWO - chap. 23 to chap. 50
spoilers ahead
AAAAAAAAAAA
that was me singing opera
you wish you heard it
also i canât stop talking in a british accent because guess is on repeatÂ
good lord jenniferÂ
đđđ
this book is getting BORING
caves are amazing đ
WHY IS THERE A CHILD
is the child okay????
eughhhhhhb
fuck you childÂ
ugh him
I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THERES A CHILD
oop heâs fAcToTuMÂ
iâm sorry this book is getting more boring by the secondÂ
*an hour later*
the boyâs a liar the boys a liar he doesnât see ya heâs not think about blahhhh
idk
iâm also currently falling asleep rn so đ
CHILD LABOR
I DESPISE CHILD LABOR
I HAVE CERTAIN TOPICS IM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUTÂ
AND VHILD LABOR IS ONE OF THEM
*days later* (i wasnât lying when i said this book is boring)
okay good consent!!!
oop he knows
i thought i was smart for knowing the french
i didnât know bonne chance meant good luck đ
itâs like avery is nonexistent and i HATE it
because in the main trilogy, his presence was very shown
but i keep forgetting that averyâs even here because of this shitty narrationÂ
oh hi gray
oh my god grayson in shorts would actually scar me
oh my god
thatâs evil
and sheâs such a saintÂ
i forgot that weâre dealing with his dad
oops
technically avery didnât kill him
so whatâs so bad about putting the evidence of what he did against avery out?
i love xander i miss him sm
bonjour!
sistersÂ
hehehe đ¤Â
thatâs true tho
sav and gray are very similarÂ
gray also likes to deny his feelings tho
same bro đ
nash is the bestÂ
ily him smÂ
suspiciousÂ
oh no
was gray told abt the devils mercy thing?
i donât really know what whom isÂ
LYRA
AHAHAGAHHAHS
ISVTHAT LYRA
IM GONNA SCREAM
STOP
MY ABAY
IVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER SINCE I HEARD OF HER AND THIS IS THE FURST TIME I MET HER
OMG
ASSHOLE đđ
IT IS LYRA
IM LIT DYING
NEW CRUSH
sheâs so funny
thatâs one way to deal with mental healthÂ
get a lyra!
no not shorts đ
ughhhh
i love gigi
lemonade? too sweet?
oh shit
i js realized i can only imagine gray with a british accentÂ
the aaron warner effect
grayson davenport hawthorne
i find it hilarious that itâs in autocorrectÂ
âI am so sorry that Avery girl took all of your money,â one of the others said seriously.
âAnd chose your brother,â another one added.
âAnd broke your heart!â
âBut not your spirit.â The bravest of the girls reached out and laid a hand on his armâ
HAHAHAHAÂ
stop itâs like a fanclub
what has gotten into me?
đđđ
she isnât a bitchÂ
her future is probably brighter than your fucking phone screens
oh yeah i forgot
gigi doesnât know who he is
GIGI NO
GOOD LORD NO
no he is not your boyfriend or anything like thatÂ
GIGI STOP
GIGI UGHHHH
THAT IMPLICATION ISBTÂ
SAVANNAH IS NIT A BITCH
gigi what cleavage?
grayâs reaction tho
NASH đđ
iâm in the rural rn
an ode to nashÂ
cupcake a palooza?Â
ohhhh
WHAT
tallllll
as a 5â5 girl anything above 6â is tall
seems uglyÂ
NOOOOO
FUCKING BITCH
UGHHHHHH
THAT BACKSTABBING BITCH
ARGHHHHH
USNT SHE RICH NOW?
a flashback? NOW???
TREE HOUSE YAYÂ
how tall was jamie at ten?
thatâs so mean
yeah what about nash ?
heâs amazingÂ
okay gray might be perfect and xander can think outside the box but jamie is good at taking and measuring risksÂ
is that a skill? i donât knowÂ
js triggering pain and insecurities atp
wait theyâre supposed to lose
ohhhh
okay so the point of the flashback is to show why heâs doing what heâs doing
wait what did he do?
ZELLA IS THE PROPRIETORÂ
I BET
BET
mr. hawthorne js has a aura that isÂ
you know
i js read smth kinda sad and it lowk ruined the vibeÂ
ANYWAY
oh
i had hoped the proprietor was zella
ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON DOWN THERE
sorry đ
THE HELL JAMIE
i forgot avery and jameson werenât marriedÂ
i donât know why i thought they were
GODDAMN JAMIE
oh shut the fuck up
this feels so wrong
WHAT
WHAT DO YOU MEANÂ
brother?
ARGHHHHH
UGH
not this
whereâs nash then?
AUGGHBBBBBB
EVE THAT FUCKING BITCH
what does that bitch want?Â
a boyfriend? not even once sheâs six feet under
WHY ARE YOU SYCH A CREEP???
âmy existence?â
your existence pains everyoneÂ
AHHHHH
i love gigi
oh shit
đł
anywayyyyyyy
LYRAAAAAAA
oh my god
hmmm
THATS SLATER???
BITCH IS UGLY AS FUCK
i love gigi đĽ°
âprone to eyebrow arching, very fond of imperative sentences, blond and broody.â
how cute?
NO IT JUST GOT GOOD
WHAT TGE HELL JAMIE
WHAT HS WRING WITH YOU
iâm gonna kill youÂ
âoN tHe cOnTrArY-â shut the fuck up
ughÂ
thatâs terrifyingÂ
i hate him
awwww i love avery tho
I HATE YOUÂ
WHAT
I THOUGHT THAT IT WENTÂ
nash > gray > jamie > xander
i think im used to leo
âprivileged, prep school boyâ
ughhhh
HE WON
i didnât think he would
oh shitttttt
đŁđŁđŁđŁ
iâm not describing this
good lord jameson
risk?
OM MY GSIF
oh yeah
his brothers are gonna kill him đ
why would you purposefully do this to yourself?
thatâs cute rohan, but i donât think so
heheh đ¤Â
bitch
what did you do in prague jameson? what?
no you did notÂ
MMMM-
oh nooooo
AGHGHBBBVBVVVVVVBHHH
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN PRAGUE???
gigi no
ajaksjjw heâs your brother you cannot date him đ
that weirded me out even typing it
GIGI SYOP
HAHAHAHA
SAV AND GRAY NO
your imaginary girlfriend okay
(itâs me guys)
limes
our forever is limes
mhm
not like that
huh (i took a break if you couldnât tell)
OH FRIENDLY WAY
UGHHHHH
FUCKING BASTARD
acacia is more of a mom to gray than fucking skye will ever be
good lord
UGHHH
NOW???
anw eight years ago everyone đ
this is so traumaticÂ
yay
#the brothers hawthorne#tbh#tig#the inheritance games#đď¸â・ mayâs recs#đď¸â・ fairy stole a book
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Hi....If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc) and your top 7 favorite (fictional) characters from any media? Why do you love them all? Sorry if you've answered this questions before......
Hello :D
omg i get to yell about things I like, exciting!
first im going to go with my top 7 in no special order cuz I would never be able to decide
Trigun (98, manga and stampede): I've talked WAY to much about this one but holy shit has impacted my life. The story, the characters, the pain THE SWEET SWEET PAIN MY GOD. It just mixes a lot of tropes/themes I really like. And we have 3 versions of it! How cool is that?
Steven Universe: again another classic. Discovered the show when I was young and it just grabbed my soul. Very formative and influential while I was growing up. So soft and p a i n f u l l as all thins should be :3. Plus the music is a banger. Like to this day ik songs from it. Favorite one is change btw.
Legend series (book series): no one paid attention to this series because it came out the same time as divergent and hunger games and other big titles. But I was! And it's still one of the best book series I've ever read. It totally has the 2013-2015 vibes (except for the latest one in the series, rebel) but it's....honest. not only because all the struggles in the book are real but also because the author really believes in her characters. She created them but also let them become people. Plus the writing is amazing and her description of specific moments and emotions UGH I have a huge post about it because of how cool it is. I still remember opening the first book and getting SLAPPED by the first line. Yes it's that good.
Signalis: newish game :D saw lesbians, saw violence and I was on board but I never thought the game would make me think and stare at the wall that much. So far I've played it 5 times and going for a 6th. It's so abstract and no one can decide on what's true or not but that's part of its beauty. Really clever and interesting game. Nothing is real, only lesbians with guns.
Our Flag Means Death: cool show that was about queer NOT IN THEIR TEENAGE YEARS??? IN THIS ECONOMY??? AND NOT ABOUT AIDS (sorry pose I still love you). Of course it won me over because of the queerness but also the characters themselves. It was nice to see myself in a lot of them, personality and racially wise. The fun gay pirates came to my house, destroyed my life and also gave me life. Easy as that.
Pose fx: don't like the main writer of the show too much but the rest of them ATE WITH THIS. A story about black queer woman PORTRAYED BY BLACK QUEER WOMEN. It deals with the aids crisis through the lenses of trans women and gay men but the thing in that show that blew me away was the love for femininity and the community they created around it. They actually took their abandoned and traumatized selves and became someone. They formed families that actual give support and I'm a sucker for found family. I've cried many times because I wanted Blanca to adopt me. 10/10 show about overcoming shit circumstances and the importance of community. What if I cried again.
Houseki no Kuni (manga and anime): weird manga that I've been following for YEARS because its so fucking good. The anime is beautiful and captivating af and honestly the whole thing needs to be analyzed by a Buddhist. it makes me want to learn about that religion so i can understand more. but yeah its sad, its hype, and once again its about gay rock MMM my favorite. you dont know the hours i spent looking for videos/animatic about it. hard to explain but i like to describe it as "human growth: the manga/anime"
Maybe it seems like I don't watch many movies and it's kinda true! I'm more of a shows person. but there are movies i like. maybe another day
Now onto my favorite characters but again I can't decide so this is in no special order. Also because I can't decide I'm giving the spotlight to characters that are not from the media mentioned above (for example if you dont see vash in here is because i yell about him enough like. 3 times minimum per month). Because I can. Because I'm normal about media and stories i like.
1.Steven (su): MY BOY MY MOON AND STARS. ok a lot of this list is about characters i relate to, but this one is the og. this mf is one of the kindest, awesome yet misunderstood characters of all time. theres so much rage and trauma in this little guy but there are many other feelings that get lowkey explored in the main show until BOOM the emotions explode in su future. its amazing how complex my son is. im so lucky that i got to grow up along side him in a way. and in another way it was nice to see myself kinda represented in him? fun times.
2.Tifa (ffvii): PRETTY RECENT BUT SHES THE COOLEST. ejem sorry. i love cloud, zach and the others from the game but tifa doesnt get the recognition she deserves. she survived so many tragedies and became stronger because of it. not only in body but also in mind. however she also became cautious and tries to not explode in front of others. she tries to be a safe place for people, even when shes scared. i think thats pretty admirable of her. i would say more but i dont want to risk spoiling the game but there are little moments and scenes where she just tries to be there for people because she has no one in her life anymore and fuck it makes me sad. also shes pretty hot-
3.Elektra (pose): MY QUEEN. shes just. evil sometimes. shes really a bitch to most of the characters but DAMN SHES COOL WHEN SHE IS. elektra knows she was born with a huge disadvantage in life so she grabs power like a mf and bites it. i kinda aspire to be that, to not let anyone get in my way. she just really speaks to the part of me that has bigger ambitions. but shes also smart and caring (when shes not being a bitch) and every time the world puts her down she stands up and kicks the world again. she's the power of femininity itself and yes i also think shes hot (i mean look at those cheeks of thunder) but shes like a fucking storm in a person and how i can not love that? We love poc people in power.
4.Phos (houseki no kuni): This fucking child (they're a child in my eyes) is so important to me for weird reasons. I got deep into hnk when I was in my sabbatical year. It was a time where I didn't know where I would go and phos seemed to be in a similar place. To this day it surprises me how ichikawa managed to create a "simple" character and then by all definitions made them human. I like their journey, the transformations they went through, the stages they went to cope or to confront their situation. Plus the design is pretty affff
5.Edward Teach (ofmd): I just.....really connected with this guy ok? The feeling of always being at the bottom so if you are going to rise your only option is to make people fear you but that's not true BOY HE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT WHOLE THING. he was just really cool when he entered the show and then it was "oh this guy is really fucked up actually" and he's so funny and MORE OLD POC QUEERS? FUCK YEAH. but i guess what puts him on top for me is how he explored himself and his needs. All that while being funny and tragic and gay. Really cool.
6.Anthy (revolutionary girl utena): MY DAUGHTER RRRRAAAAHHH. Anthy is a really tragic and complex character. to this day i cannot put together every reason why shes my favorite from utena. Shes tragic and my god the things she goes through break my heart every time I think about it but...shes also incredibly strong and funny and a weird keeping animals in her room. The creators did an excellent job showing her lack of agency and how she already had given up, but also showed her humanity and wish to retain things in her life that gave her joy. And movie anthy? That girl is a no nonsense girl. She will get her girlfriend no matter what from the people who abused her. She left that fucking school as a mature, smart and kind adult. We fucking stan.
7. Richard (requiem of the rose king): another recent acquired son. Idk why this one hit so much and honestly for how short the manga is (79 chapters) they did such a good job with him???? Banger themes and metaphors, banger character moments, banger GENDER moments. I've seen a few people not being able to take him seriously but idk, ir sounded honest and serious to me. A kid who has been told since birth they were a demon became one to survive but not really. Because no one with his wish can fully be a demon. Idk maybe it's cheesy but his quest for love and acceptance was a banger in my eyes (please read the manga. We can leave the anime behind). Also I like him cuz he's cool and is a character I CAN ACTUALLY COSPLAY THANK GOD-
AND THOSE ARE SOME CHARACTERS AND SOME PIECES OF MEDIA I LIKE :D IF ANYONE WANTS MORE PLS ASK.
#i feel like you weren't expecting a huge post#but yeah#it took me a while cuz#reasons#but thank you for asking! im always happy to talk about things i like#as you can see#sorry#maybe ill add the fandom tags later
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A dying mans promise (pmatga)
Im not good with writing- im trying to improve so please any creative criticism is more than welcome-
Cold was a term no one would use when it came to the hellhole the netherworld was. Lava everywhere, hot stone pastering the ground and a hothead of a ruler.
Most ghosts coudnt quiet care less about it, most happy to somewhat live a life downhere. Being close to those they knew from back then, before it all went south. A familiar feeling of warmth.
Yet their peace was something a preticuar fire ghost coud not let be, he attacked, attacked and attacked the living ones whenever it would be possible- whenever he could. Everything he had would be used against the ones he despises most. And this was what most ghosts hated here, they could not refuse thier leader, some helped out of the loyalty they had left while others simply feared his moodswings.
If one would ask them as to what their leaders goal was, they would simply say that losing once simply didnt do the trick, other that their leader was simply that insane to think he would win sometime soon. In trues most knew that that yellow kid - the so called hero - would keep them from anything close to an achievement.
Those who questioned the leader were often simply burend to a crisp anyway - yet some stuck close, even able to get somewhat of an civil answer from the fire ghost, that being simply because he deserved it.
But was that what he realy thought, or just a desperate cry for attention...
âIf you keep starring at it, it might go up in flames. Not like this plan will work outâ, negative was a good word to describe the female ghost but not the best, a realist who observed rather than attacking would be the more fitting describtion.
Why she could do so, talking to him like she wanted, without being burned, it was simple, he despised her enough for what she could do to him. He knew that she knew that he would never lay a finger on her, it kept his slime boiling, yet he was all bark and not bite when it came to her.
âIf you aint here to help get out, thisâ, he gestured towards a small modell of the roundhouse, âwill work! And that yellow pest will finally be gone!â
âOh? So just another failure in the makingâ, she hummed, floating over, taking a seat on the throne, starring at his red eyes with a calmness he could not understand, not grasp.
âMaybe something would work, if a certain someone would actually help!â
âIm good thanksâ
âThen dont spit on it, if ya aint doing your work!â
âSo? is it hurting your ego?â
âNO!â
âYesâ
...
âWhat do you want Via?â, arguing with her would be pointless.
âCant i come here?â
âThats not what I- ughâ
âUse words Trayâ
âYou-â
âThey dont have faith, in thisâ, she gestured at the so called plan, âyou know this-â, she flew over, hovering close to him, hugging him from behind, âand so do Iâ
He shrugged her off, growling as he turned, âwoman if you aint helping, get, lostâ, this he spat at her, his eyes burning with passion and...
distant sadness.
âyou used to be more than willing to help me with all of the planningâ, he grinned, studying his claws, â what happened to you? Got scared now that you are dead? Lost interest now that you consider the war lost?â
â...â, her eyes wander over the others features, studying him, âthis is not good to you- not to anyone, neither living nor ghost, why not just... giv-â
âDontâ, he looked away, knowing what she wanted to say.
âGive it up Tray. You will never beat that kid, he will stop you every single time your pathetic ass goes up there to gain something out of your reachâ, her arms now crossed over her chest, eyey slightly glowing as she kept talking, âyou just hurt others who have no business in it! All because you think you are better than them? All be-â
âSHUT UPâ, fire rose around the ghosts fists, clenching them at his sides, breathing quicken and some tears sparkeling in his eyes - how he hated being this emotionall with her -, âI AM THE LEADER! THIS WAR IS OVER WHEN I SAY IT IS!â
âLike a child who lost a betâ, she mused, challenging him, âYou are a sore looser.â
âLET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU ARROGANT WOMANâ, he coulndt call her names, it felt wrong, even now, âI WILL WIN THIS, I ALREADY AM, THEY- THEY WILL NEVER FORGET ME, AND I WILL DAMN WELL KEEP IT LIKE THAT. THOSE PATHETIC FOOLS DONT EVEN NOW WHAT HAS YET TO AWAIT THEM!â
Tears now flowing down his cheeks betrayed him, o how irronic his name was- he breathed uneven but didnt back away from her. She was a ghost off his past that he coundt get rid off- that he didnt want to get rid of.
âYOU KNOW WHY I DO ALL THIS?! DONT YOU-â, he barked inches away from her face, âYOU ALWAYS DO; ISNT THAT RIGHT? GETTING A KICK OUT OF IT, KNOWING HOW YOU PULL AT MY STRINGS, PRESSING ME ON AND ON FOR ANGER, JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN WE WERE ALIVEâ
 âI WISHâ, her raised voice stoped him, has he ever heard her raise it, âI DONT KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE- CANT SEE WHAT YOU THINK OR HOW YOU ARE, ALL I SEE IS THE PAIN THIS ALL CAUSES YOU!â
A heavy silence hugged them, pressing for something that would defuse the situation. She knew it was her who had to speak first, giving him something to grab onto.
âDo- do you really think you need to prove yourself to them? Betrayusâ, his full name, when has she last called him by it, âplease- I ju-â
âI just dont want to be forgotten...â, he floats over to her carefully, not sure what this all was or why, but she still did the same as always, making him question himself, feel something he feelt not worthy off, âI do this, the attacking the planning to, to not end up in another shadow, folowing the promise i made to myself, to you- to all of them.â
âPromiseâ, she whispered the word as if it was an echo, seeking anything in his eyes that would help.
âYou know...when we sat in that room with those god forbidden machines i swore one thing-â, he chuckled and finds her eyes again, taking in a deep breath âI saw you die before my eyes, I had survived the first shock - baerly- everything hurt and I will never forget seeing your limb body in the other chair, all of you had gone before me...â, this times his tears feel silently, his arms hugging around his waist âI swore to make them pay- to make them always remeber what had happened...who we are, who I am
Its been long since i felt actual hatred towards that yellow kid, he is simply a reminder off it all- a shadow- that refuses to die. I know i will likely never win in any of this, but it wont stomp out the fire that keeps me going- god how cheesy-â
This time she smiled, taking him back, it has been a while since she last smiled- a kiss carefully placed on the leaders cheeks is enough for him to melt into her arms, leaning against her body, seeking the connection they once- no still had. A sense of savety taking over.
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OK P4 thoughts.... now that it's been like 18 hours...
overall... solid 8.5/10. i loveee murder mysteries
the dynamic between the characters carried the game more than anything
multiple moments where I laughed out loud so s/o to the writers
AND despite guessing the big twist from day one, I was pleasantly surprised by various other twists and turns in the story so yay :)
never before has a silent protagonist literally swayed my heart in such a way Yu Narukami you are my angelll
ok spoiler-y review below :)
okay. serious review time but keep in mind im fasting so like these are the rambles from that. i'll start with the positives :)
did not believe jordan when she said i would be adopting these children by the end yet here i am. every single character you met had such a sweet and profound relationship and dynamic with one another... it was so so sweet. truly the high point of the game is how the characters interact. Yukiko and Chie, Rise and Naoto, Rise and Yu, Teddie and Yosuke, Naoto and Kanji... even Yosuke and Yu..... like they were all so so so wonderfully crafted with one another... AND RISE WAS THE SHINING STARRRRR
Dojima and Nanako.... the way i thought they wouldn't have such a big role and then by the end i was crying . yeah. big bro . i love u .
I KNEW IT WAS ADACHI!!!! I LITERALLY CALLED IT FROM DAY ONE!!! DAY ONE!!!! I just couldnt stick why he was choosing the teenagers,.... hence why the twist with Namatane was so fucking good. S/O to Jordan and Fil who had to listen to me scream about how he was the killer without being able to shut me up.
Okay but in all seriousness Teddie becoming human was like the wildest part of the game like did no one else go ??
The soundtrack bangs. to be expected.
Yosuke's SL was my favorite... i dont know how teary eyed i got but whew. it was teary. the ending scene on the grass... yea... yea...
man. the icon. the star. Yu Narukami. I NEVER thought I would like the protagonist, at least not more than "he's cool", and yet by the end I was more sad than anything to say goodbye to him!!! i had so much joy playing as him, he was so funny, so loyal, his dialogue options we're just phenomenal. He felt like a real character in his own world despite never even talking. I think I'll miss him the most/
ok time for the bad stuff:
okay like atlus why do you do this thing where you create such a good amazing storyline about humanity and what makes you you only to drop the ball and opt to make things creepy or some form of phobic !!! like WHY!!!!!!!
Kanji's treatment was actually vileeeee . I hate how they chickened out in the last moment because instead of having a whole discussion abt homophobia internalized and otherwise you've just created a homophobic ass arc in the game that serves no purpose. like UGH. just go the full mile!!! go !!! let him understand there's nothing wrong wit him being gay!!! stop backing out!! You quite literally would've had a near perfect arc if you just went that extra mile and didn't make things weird !!!
also naoto........ don't even wanna trudge into the discourse here but he/him Naoto is where I stand idk. his story kinda felt really similar to my own when i was in my teens but... again...Atlus...
hey atlus can you make ONE game where there isn't 10 scenes of teenage boys being creeps or has some form of teenage fan service. please.
rlly sucks that i cant reccommend this game without caveats because atlus is.... ugh. but yes. i did enjoy it. it has some moments that are genuinely uncomfortable and made me go :///. but i can fix things as is my will as a writer etc etc.
yeah i think thats what i have for now. i loved playing this game but i think i'll love thinking abt it and plotting even more..... <33333
#ewbie.txt#ewbie p4 liveblog#if anyone has more questions or comments... hmu... i havent stopped thinking abt this game man
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Hey thanks I thought I was the only one who didnât like the joke. Everyone laughed yuck
Ahhhhh yeah :/ i thought the joke was definitely funny, but with that harsh twinge of sadness at just how normalized and accepted this sort of sexism STILL is.
' i was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, i get older but your lovers stay my age '
And its not necessarily a damnation of the man himself - obviously rami is a favorite of mine but i dont think hes ever dated anyone over 30 and is veering towards jake and leo disease too, and i still think rami is one of the most brilliant character narrative builders in the business currently - but its a damnation of a culture that treats romantic partners not as equals but as disposable play things with an expiration date. Look, i got flirted with by much older guys in pittsburgh all the time - usually it was cute, they were friendly, very complimentary and flattering about it, and they never treated it seriously or asked me out. Then i came to LA and the difference was night and day. Older (rich) men here feel entitled to younger women in a way that is frankly scary - at one point in a bar when a guy in his 60s was hitting on me my muscular male friend had to physically step between us and scare the guy off to get him to go away.
And it doesn't help that im sort of in the 'one of the guys' category, so i've heard the way these super rich dudes talk about the models they date behind their back while hanging with 'the guys', and, ugh, its not nice. I will say one thing for sports dudes - i imagine guys like ja*gr have way more respect for young women who are passionate about health and fitness than computer science executives.
But there's negatives in the sports world too - yall know how much i adore taylor. But even i recognize that she's not 'sports bro hot' - she doesn't have silicone, her make up is understated, she doesn't have that social media defined 'hotness' that sports fan dudes expect their sports heroes to date. So while i was naively scrolling insta looking for cute snapshots of taylor and travis being all lovey dovey at the end of the game, a good half the comments were men complaining about her. Saying they cant understand why travis is dating someone so old, that she will never be able to give him kids, that she's already showing her age (both of them are 34 btw). So far travis seems to ignore these types of comments but it would be hard to judge him for giving into peer pressure because this stuff is just so prevelant and exhausting.
And it does effect us older women - while i was dating Pilot Boy i was absolutely hyper aware of the fact that here is this rich, handsome, successful, and extremely smart guy dating beneath him. Like we bonded over being literally the same age - we had mutual friends in college without even knowing it. But i was always questioning like what does this guy see in me - why isn't he dating a gorgeous 25 year old whose only goal in life is to live on the beach with him??? Like he was honestly more the type of dude i would be friends with while he dates hotter women, lol. So i really was not surprised when he ended things (i was mostly sad that we couldnt stay friends and continue geeking out on airplanes and history together LOL), it just felt like it made sense, of course he wouldn't be serious about me, a guy like him should be dating a fresh, youthful, less bitter and cynical 25 yr old blonde. Six years in LA and this is just the pattern i see repeating itself over and over.
And im the romantic - when i fall in love its ALL in. Usually it's personality, usually its intellectual - that comfort in finding someone who just understands how you think. I love being so close to someone that you know them better than yourself, that you can communicate wordlessly. Shared humor, shared experience. As i age im learning that i actually dont pay much attention to the signs of aging when it comes to attraction - who notices wrinkles when what you're in love with is that look in their eye when they smile at you? The mental connection between romantic partners is the most important for me in my book. For me this typically means someone within the ten year range plus or minus - though i prefer it even within a five year age gap.
#But i also really feel for the women because when i was 22 i got myself into a relationship with a man a decade older#Who only valued me for my youth and tight skin#And even back then no matter how much in love i was (and i have since deleted all the posts but even after he dumped me i was still#coming on this blog sighing about how much i loved and missed him)#The feeling of being only valued for your youth was still skeevy to me#In the back of my mind i knew that this was a trait i was eventually going to lose because everyone ages#And i was not confident enough to think i would ever have any value beyond Young#And thats not to say there are not relationships with age gaps that are healthy - there totally are look at ally and justin they ARE love#Its just a very specific type of relationship where the older partner keeps dating younger and younger and only values youth#that creeps me out#And in our culture that narrative usually is an older man with a younger woman and i tend to side with the woman#THE GOOD NEWS is if you notice in the clips and gifs it looks like the younger guys on the pens are laughing a lot less than the old guard#i think the newer generation - the dudes in their 20s are starting to realize how shallow all this is and that things are changing#and that the generation of women after me will deal with a lot less pressure#At least i hope!!!#Jrnlsht#Sorry this got long
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HAI FRIEND
iâve literally been obsessed w ur megumi smau since like chp. 14 or something LOLL,, i have this thing where i just psychoanalyze characters and ive been thinking a lot about yn like hmâŚ
(THIS MIGHT BE A LUTTLE LONG BTW SO FEEL FREE TO JUST LIKE IGNORE THIS BUT I RLLY WANT TO TALK ABT HER)
like yn (to a lot of people) may be like a little intolerable but honestly i think the reason we have such a reaction to her personality like that is bc we see a little bit of ourselves in her if that makes senseâŚ
PERSONALLY, I AM A YN DEFENDER FOR LIKE THATS MY HOMEGIRL.. like imagine you grew up in a world where soulmates are the basis of your romantic future. the sheer fact that that in itself already builds a sense of you either love your soulmate or hate them in someones head (considering that most of the time,, soulmates are portrayed as; first time you meet, you just know)
yn,, having met megumi long before you brain could have developed a coherent understanding of relationships, and lacking in the sense that when she met megumi,, she didnât feel sparks like they said she would, obviously, she would categorize those feelings as hate. THATS WHY WHEN MEGUMI SAID âi dont think you really ever hated me eitherâ HIT SO HARD FOR ME I WAS LIKE OH MY GODâŚ
BASICALLY WHAT IM GETTING AT is the fact that there is so much pressure already due to the fact that soulmates are said to be your other halves, so if you donât like them, theres immense pressure and insecurity (hence ynâs hostility to the subject of her hating megumi because she has no comprehended idea of why she actually hates him) plus the fact that they met when they were kids and that probably affected the way she saw relationships in the first place EXPLAINS WHY SHE IS SO ADMENT ON BEING INDIFFERENT TO HIMMM
ok⌠another thing (sorry)..
AS MUCH as i love ynâs friend group,,, THEY LOWKEY PISS ME OFF THE SAME WAY YN PISSES ME OFF HELP..
OK SO,, obviously iâd also get pissed off if my friends get hostile bc i bring something up to want to understand them better, BUT at the same time, i would also have some sympathy đ˘đ˘
LIKE,, their immediate response is to press harder, and try to solve the problem and if youre looking at texts like that thru ynâs eyes, it will prob lowkey feel like your feelings are being invalidated. yn is already confused, probably insecure about her love life, and now having to literally throw up her heart into her hands just for her friends to understand why they feel that way,, like sheâs not gnna want to do that no matter how close they are (but maybe thats js me idkâŚ) and then their immediate response to her not wanting to show that side of her is to get pissed off like iâd be mad and sad like yn too :(
i think those are all the points i was thinking sbt but if not im not gnna try to rmbr the rest bc this is alr super long.. BUT I HOPE U ENJOYED MY RANT AND I LOVE UR SMAU AND I LOVE U MUAH I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY
I LOVE U I LOVE U I LOVE U
i absolutely ADOREEEE when people psychoanalyze the characters (mostly only when the analysis is correct tho LMFAOAO autism.) BECAUSE I DO THE SAME THINGGG i kinda have to when iâm doing plot heavy smaus like this to make sure everything fits n thereâs the least amount of plot holes possible blah blah blah insert my annoying rambling on how i write
ANYWAY i loved ur analysis u r so amazing n so right ! like i get yn is annoying but lord have mercy so is everyone else thatâs the POINTTTTT NO ONE HERE IS ACTUALLY IN THE WRONG OR BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. EVERYONE HAS THEIR REASONING FOR WHAT THEY DO OR DONT DO!!! ugh sorry okay iâm gonna shut up now i could talk about this forever i fear .
I LOVE UUUU HAVE A GREAT DAYYYY
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Maybe it is me but I donât get the vibe that dickkoryâs small convo was flippant on either side (i mean a little on dicks at first cos he be like ViSiOnS dOnT eXiSt) but at the end, Kory was like âlike you said, to hell with visionsâ but she seemed so sad about it like she thinks he wonât accept their shared vision bc he doesnât want it with her. (We all know he does like duh)
I saw some people annoyed that that is all the conversation was but i think it speaks louder than just what was said. I mentioned it on another post but Brentons acting was real good in that scene bc he seems to really wrestle with what to say and although he just says âidkâ i think he feels torn. And theyâve also got much bigger issues than that particular vision at this point. Like we can circle back ya know?
Poor Kory though like the convo with Rachel in the beginning when Rae is like did he not tell you and shes just like no he didntâŚ
Ugh i want the angst. I am also v curious as to when Kory gets hurt since theyâve left off with Jinx dead (for now).
Other thoughts:
I get now why Lisa posted that stupid ass ig story đ bc jinx still be into Dick a little it would seem which back off bitch he has a whole child with Kory on the way so leave đ nah but I donât think that will be explored more - i reckon that is more so a wistful thing on Jinxâs part but nothing will come form or at least i hope nothing does cos lets face it she isnt dead dead đ¤ˇđťââď¸
Very curious how Jason will be appearing this season. It was said he is in Joshua and Teagans livestream a couple weeks ago. Not that i want to see him but im curious how he slots in in this particular season ��
MY BABY GAR đ he is going through it and when i tell you i was cryING when he grabbed Kory in a hug like i needed a GarKory hug more than I realized. đ I am extremely interested in Garâs whole story this season. I LOVE that he is finally getting more. He seems to forgotten in other seasons and that is a crime. I worry about baby boy but am super happy that its getting explored more.
On the note of Gar, Iâm assuming Sebastian or Brother Blood now I suppose was the one to send them to another existence or dimension but Gar went to the red so I am guessing Gar is separated from the team to begin with in part two of the season. I am v excited for part two of the season for multiple reasons.
Connor irked the shit out of me. I get it; tis his Lex side and I completely understand why but the attitude is so grating. Joshua plays it so fucking well but my God every time he spoke I was like stfu đđ
Rachel got her powers back and became White Raven!! I was v surprised to see the white dress and cloak but I was like OOOOOH. Her powers are gonna be fierce af in the second half of the season. And talking of powers, Koryâs having gone up to 80% has me NERVOUS. I bet that is how she gets hurt. I fucking bet she supernovas and fucks herself up. Like why else would they mention it?? đ i am scared for my fave in second part. đ
Tim and Bernard are cute. Like it was sweet when they had that litte scene. And omg when Tim was like we kissed to the team, Kory had like a lil smirk on as did some of the others and Dicks like oh big night for everyone then - loved it.
Jinx may annoy me cos of the whole Dick history and clearly being into him still but she really does have me giggling. When she got stabbed i was like aw gurl ya took too long with taunting her frozen self đ but I appreciated in the RV when she was like âi could take her out, fucking nut herâ feels so fucking British and I greatly appreciated it. I literally hear people talk like that all the time so I enjoyed that part đđ
I canât think of much else now but I liked the episode. Wasnât the absolute best imo but it will tide me over til second part of the season which I hope is sooner rather than later- anyone know when itâs meant to be returning??
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I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START this chapter wow wow My baby yn doesnât deserve this đ but i totally get how she feels heartbreaks are shitty and moving on is shittier especially if itâs from a relationship that never happened cuz the âwhy not me ? what if? â hurts so much also when yn was telling minnie and jamie about the situation with hyunjin âŚit really made him look like an asshole i had to stop and think about it for a second. hyunjin is a real asshole here. KAIRI AND YN being friends made me sooo happy and it helped yn be a bit more happy i loved that for her!! i love jeongin appearance in this chapter heâs so sweet
About nate tho ⌠i love him and his character heâs been a great friend but idk kinda have this feeling that heâll end up liking liking yn . i dont blame him tho my girl is the best . Ugh but hyunjin in this chapter made me so madddddd like broo wtf?? heâs acting like nothing happened and somewhat detached it made me a bit angry . He deserved seeing yn kissing another guy cuz honestly he fucked up royally with that conv in the storage room also him asking ���is that your new boyfriendâ jealousy đ¤i loved when yn was angry and they were fighting like yesss go girl be mad at him he deserves it. When chan told yn âif you ever been in love â and she moved in front of hyunjin my heart hurt a bit yn is going through too much and heâs just so nonchalant.Iâm happy for chan and kairi but at the same time sad for my girl because here chan is fighting for kairi even after their breakup but hyunjin didnât even entertain the idea of a relationship with her she really deserves more . tbh i need a hyun pov on all of this đ . i need to see his thought process cuz all his decisions ever since he went back to seoul had me like âwhat?â âwtfâ . i understand now when you said that the chapter mirrors the one at the cabin when hyun was checking yn for injury in chap 8 i was all butterflies but this chapter i was mad but with butterflies ofc đ Also hyun with glasses and driving đľđľđľ putting hyun and yn in a confined space is dangerous but idk about this time since kairi and chan are with them .But honestly i donât get hyunjin like dude you obviously like her and she does too it wouldnât hurt to be more positive about the situation . i want yn to ignore and make him feel bad or even cry ( my heart will not handle it ) but at the same time i want then to have a heart to heart conversation and for hyunjin to open up . i miss hyunyn being in love without all this angst . yn looking at the city lights and wondering if he thinks about herâŚ(i wonder that too) when he reminded her of the night at the châteauâŚ..hah good times
iâm actually writing this at 4 am so idk if what i wrote made any sense i have to be out in 2 hours and i havenât slept yet i donât think i will slwy got me too excited.
AH im sorry for getting back to this after so long, but youâre so right because when yn recounts the situation to her friends with no context, hyunjin does seem like an absolute asshole đ
i knowww. a hyun pov will definitely clear up all of questions, he certainly can be frustrating in that chapter. you want yn to make him cry? đđ
a heart to heart conversation is needed :( and dont worry you made complete sense haha i loved reading that !
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