#UGH I LOVE IIIIT

[brainjuicezz]

I was missing out on Sonic CD,,,

[devildomwriter]

Every “I Love You” Vol 1-4

Lucifer

22-C

Lucifer: “I love you. Truly and deeply.”

28-15

Lucifer: “I never knew I could feel this way. I never knew I had such passion inside me. MC…I love you.”

28-19 (2)

Lucifer: “MC, I love you. Well, we may not be on stage now, but I’m happy to say it again. As many times as you’d like. I love you, MC. Truly and deeply…”

38-9

Lucifer: “I love you, MC. Truly. As much as I’d like my memory back, and to remember everything that’s happened, there’s something I want even more… I want to know how you feel about me.”

38-9 (2)

Lucifer: “I love you, too. With all my heart. How many times have I told you that before? Because I want to tell you so many more times that my old self did. …In fact, no matter how many times I might say it, I feel like it will never be enough. I love you, MC. Kiss me. If I told you that I actually feel jealous of the old me, would you laugh…?”

40-22

Lucifer: “I love you, MC. There’s no need to say goodbye. Because we’ll see each other again. Soon.”

41-19

Lucifer: “I love you… It’s strange… We haven’t been apart long at all, yet it feels like it’s been a century. Why is that?”

Mammon

25-17

Mammon: “MC…! You’re the best! You never let me down, and it’s just…amazing! YOU’RE amazing! I love you, MC! More than I’ve ever loved anyone!”

29-12 (2)

Mammon: “I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T STAND IIIIT!”

MC: “…?!”

Mammon: “I want to [CENSORED], [CENSORED], and [CENSORED] like there’s no tomorrow!”

33-14

Mammon: “Like, what it I accidentally let it slip that I love you, huh?!”

33-14

Mammon: “I love you so much it’s crazy! Like, so much that my stomach fills with butterflies and my heart jumps out of my chest! I think about you all the time, even when you’re not around! Like, I feel like I’m losin’ my mind!”

33-14

Mammon: “And I like you, MC. …I love you, actually. So, what about you? Come on, say you feel the same way, MC.”

33-14

Mammon: “Yeah…I love you too. Like, so much it’s crazy. I mean I love Lucifer and my other brothers too. I love ‘em to death, honestly. But with you it’s different. It’s special…”

43-15

Mammon: “Dammit! Like I could ever really say that to you! I love you MC! And I’ll NEVER break up with you, okay?! NEVER!”

53-9

Mammon: “I love you, MC! And I’d take you over money any day!”

Leviathan

48-4

Leviathan: “Um…listen, MC… …Thanks. I love you, too. And I really appreciate that you’d say that to me. But that’s also why I want to learn to take pride in myself. Because I want you to love me even more than you already do…”

48-9

Leviathan: “…Ugh, what do I do? I’m not so sure I want to let you go after all. You’d better leave before I change my mind. Oh, but make sure to come back once you’re done with whatever it is, okay? …I love you, MC.”

Satan

21-14

Satan: “Mm, it finally feels real now. You really are back. I love you, MC. Welcome home.”

42-10

Satan: “After all, you already have me. I’m yours, and you’re mine. Isn’t that right? I love you, MC…”

Asmodeus

13-20

Asmodeus: “Hehe, I knew that already. I love you too, MC. Though I think I’d rather have you tell me that while lying next to me in bed.”

19-70

Asmodeus: *sigh* “Oh, wow. All you did was kiss me, and I feel like I’ve died and gone to the Celestial Realm…! I love you, MC… I love you more than anything!

22-10

Asmodeus: “Mmhm… I feel the same way. I love you too, MC. I absolutely adore you!”

31-2

Asmodeus: “Hehe. I love you, MC. So much it’s crazy…”

31-2

Asmodeus: “Oh MC! I love you SO MUCH!”

32-19

Asmodeus: “Whaaat? You mean I can’t kiss you? Ugh, you’re so meeean! Still, I just can’t help loving you! I love you SO MUCH, MC!”

34-1

Asmodeus: “MC, does that mean you believe me? Hehe, you’re absolutely adorable. I love you so much, MC!”

39-18

Asmodeus: “I love you SO MUCH. More than words can describe…”

41-7

Asmodeus: “I love you so much, I can barely contain myself… Ugh, I can’t take this any longer…”

54-1

Asmodeus: “Wait, are you saying I don’t need to use my powers on you? You just find me naturally charming? Oh MC, you’re SO sweet! I love you to death!”

60-22

Asmodeus: “MC, you’re so adorable. I love you, and I’m going to miss you so much. It’s going to be unbearable…”

67-9

Asmodeus: “Hehe, thank you! Oh MC, there aren’t even words to describe how much I love you.”

67-9

Asmodeus: “I thought I’d use my butt to express just how I feel about you, MC. I love you, and I want you to know it.”

Beelzebub

45-18

Beelzebub: “Mm… …Okay, I was wrong. I don’t actually like you. I love you.”

46-19

Beelzebub: “You remember when I gave you my star, right? And now here you are giving ME a star… I promise that I’ll always treasure it. Always and forever… I love you, MC.”

69-17

Beelzebub: “Well, it’s the same with me. You’re always on my mind. I love you, MC…”

80-10

Beelzebub: “I’ve been waiting so long to do this… For it to be just the two of us alone… I love you, MC…”

Belphegor

20-11

Belphegor: “But even if you go back to the human world, I’ll always love you, MC. Because there’s no one else like you anywhere. Not in the Devildom, not in the Celestial Realm, not in the human world.”

41-14

Belphegor: “I love you, MC. You have no idea how much…”

55-18

Belphegor: “Come on, try to keep still. …Here, let me put my arms around you. I love you, MC. …I love you so much, it’s crazy.”

80-10

Belphegor: “I mean, I can’t go to sleep now. Not when it would mean missing out on this… I love you, MC…”

Simeon

52-17

Simeon: “Here, let me look into your eyes. I love you, MC… The question is, how do you feel about me?”

71-17

Simeon: “You know that one song that’s been really popular with everyone at RAD lately? Well, it sums up how I feel about you perfectly. It goes like this. “I was wandering, hurt, lost in an endless night, and you reached out to me… Nestled against each other, we wished that morning would never come. No one can know, no one can know. But I love you so deeply it hurts”…”

71-17

Simeon: “I can’t tell you how long I’ve been hoping to hear you say that. Thank you. Thank you for always being there for me. I love you, MC.”

Diavolo

56-18

Diavolo: “If you’d be okay with it, I’d actually like it if we could do this sort of thing more often. You know, spend more time together. I’m just going to come out and say it, MC… The truth is…I love you

56-18

Diavolo: “I love you so much. You’re so, so precious to me that I can barely take it. Can I kiss you?”

56-18

Diavolo: “I love you, MC. And I’m so happy to know you feel the same way about me. Thank you.”

56-18

Diavolo: “Well, even if you don’t have feelings for me, that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I still love you

80-14

Diavolo: “It’s hard getting you alone. After all, wherever you go, Lucifer and his brothers are sure to be nearby. But right now I have you all to myself… I love you, MC…”

Ranks

1. Asmodeus (13)

2. Lucifer/Mammon (9)

3. Diavolo (5)

4. Beelzebub/Belphegor/Simeon (4)

5. Leviathan/Satan (2)

6. Solomon/Thirteen/Barbatos/Mephistopheles/Michael/Raphael (0)

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

some snippets from the current joyness fic i've been hammering away at 🤭!! i'm expecting the entire thing to clock in between 16 to 18k words so i am sharing just a few bits on account of I Am Impatient. chose ones that are probably the easiest to read out of context lol. alt text under the cut 👍🏾

Snippet 1:

"Well, I just...I was thinking...Joy, do we even deserve to go to Dream Productions?"

Joy's smile shrinks a bit at that. Oh. She didn't like Dream Productions? Well—given how many night shifts they'd shared together (Yep! Anxiety had said. According to the numbers, Sadness only ever shares Dream Duty with you. Uhh...what did you need this for again, Joy?), she figured Sadness would be just as excited...well, maybe everyone else complaining just got to her or something, that's fine, Joy could fix that—

"—Aw, Sadness, look—I promise the vibe's gonna change as soon as we get there! Sure, everyone's been a little crabby, but the car's just a little crammed and the road's just a liiittle bumpy from all the new puberty construction projects—they just need that to wear off a bit! Pluuus, the song's already been helping a lot—here, do you wanna sing along? Eighty-three mem—"

"—No, Joy, like...do we deserve it?"­­

And when Joy frowns at her, confused, she places her hand on top of the one Joy's been restlessly drumming against the seat this whole ride, and goes

"Us?"

Now it's Joy's turn for her face to heat up, apparently. "Wha—" she chokes on that, then shakes her head. "Uh." She looks down at their hands. "Haah?"

Wait—did Sadness actually find out why Joy chose Dream Productions? Well, other than the whole spiel of Yeah, sorry, guys, I did call Imagination Land, and yeah, turns out they're just not letting any visitors in right now—which, aghhh, dagnabit, you know? I'm just as heartbroken as you are that we can't see— eugh—Mount Crushmore, but make do with what you can, right?

"Oh! Uh—welll," she tries again, hoping to play it smooth, "why wouldn't...weeee?" she stretches the word out and winks.

"Um." Sadness just stares blankly back at her. "Well, 'cause we made such a mess last time..."

Snippet 2:

"Whaaat? It's not like I need some big plan! It's—come on, it's Sadness! I spend a lot of time with her already! And besides, it's not like I haven't been patient so far! Like—I know she likes me! She just gets real shy about it! And, well—heheheh, iiiit's kinda cute, you know—? But—" she shakes her head, cheeks growing hot as Disgust raises an eyebrow at that. —Anyways, she just...needs the right moment to be comfortable with it! You know?"

When Disgust frowns this time as she considers that, it looks a bit less judgy than usual. Well—sure, it's still kind of judgy—come on, it's Disgust—but she looks more confused than anything.

"Uhhh, what, so you're telling me that you're—" she points at Joy for emphasis, "—being patient?"And then her face twists into a smirk again."Joy, it’s been months since you told me something was up. I've never seen you be this patient about anything in your life."

"Wha—not true!" Joy shoots back, even though she knows Disgust is just riling her up on purpose at this point. As much as Joy loved teasing her (come on, easy target. All Joy had to do was mention broccoli or boogers and s­he'd all but completely lose it), she was always the one emotion who'd actually, on rare occasions, tease Joy back. And she always managed to say just the right things to get under Joy's skin when she did. Which—well, she guesses it's sweet or something, that they're good enough friends for Disgust to do that, but excuse her if it's a bit hard to get fond over that while her good friend is busy snickering at her.

"Ugh. Whatever," she grumbles. And that only seems to fuel Disgust's satisfaction further, so Joy shakes her head and goes back to smiling. "Okay, fine, yeah! Maybe I'm being a little bit more patient than usual. But that's 'cause Sadness...needs that, you know? And besides, all that dancing around each other's gonna end tonight! Wiiith all of this!" Joy spreads her arms out. "A little change of setting, something special! And, well, considering we're probably the only two out of any of us who actually like Dream Duty, I obviously chose the right place—"

"—So you did lie to us about Imagination Land."

"Uh—" Joy stops short, then chuckles nervously. "Welllll, I know how much you love keeping secrets, so maybeee if you just kept that fun little one between you and me—"

Snippet 3:

Joy reaches back to yank Sadness right up to the front of the door with her. She manages to peer in and catch a glimpse of the rest of her friends watching one of the sets get dressed—but then she gets the door slammed shut on her. She groans.

"Okay, but—there's no way that we're banned! Everyone else got in just fine!"

"Well, frankly, I don't know who thought it was okay for them to get a tour, either. Serves me right for letting the new hires work the call desks. You emotions just think you're all that, huh?" Joy blinks, bewildered, as the Mind Worker jabs a finger at her chest and narrows her eyes. "That orange one's already on thin ice. The sheer level of entitlement to give me her stupid notebook about how she thinks I should run my studio—and now she's trying to spread those pages around to everyone else in there like it's some manifesto—"

"—Ahhh, yeah—Anxiety's...Anxiety's like that," Joy mutters, "buuuut just let us in, and we'll fix that right up!"

Joy winks at Sadness and splits into a grin as the Mind Worker smiles back at the both of them—and then it falters halfway through as she hears the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Ohh, sure, right away! Since you two are so great at fixing things, huh? Yep, okay—lemme just pop right over to Administration and toss out your charges for trespassing, disorderly conduct, breaking and entering, destruction of studio property, deliberate dream interference, unlawful release of Subconscious wildlife, and reckless endangerment by clown!" She gulps in a breath of air after running through all of those at once and then scowls. "That last one's new, you know—we had to come up with an entirely new charge just because you two decided to screw up in a way no one's ever screwed up before!"

Joy winces as she feels Sadness shuffle to hide behind her and whimper. She's not taking too kindly to being yelled at. Joy grimaces.

"Umm, so what you're basically saying iiiis, we're special?"

"Out."

Snippet 4:

The world doesn't quite fade away this time; Joy's still painfully aware of the unintelligible chatter flooding through the halls, the bitter smell of coffee wafting past as drink trays get rushed back and forth. The way the crate is leaned up against the wall, the dream posters look like they're looming right over them when Joy looks up, gigantic and skewed. And when she feels Sadness rest her hand lightly on her arm, Joy feels both giddy and a little smug. Of course this was working! All Sadness needed was a little push—Disgust should've never doubted her. So Joy smiles to herself—then smiles down at Sadness, leans in, and—

"Oh, Joy, this is so sad..."

Joy reels back as Sadness pats her on the arm. "Uh. What?"

"Well, all the dreams are changing..." She sighs and looks back at the wall. The red light from the COMING SOON sign flashing right above the newer posters seems to find its way down to them, somehow. Joy watches as it glints against Sadness' glasses. "And they've torn down your favorite one already..."

Joy slumps a little at that and sighs. Leave it to Sadness to find a problem that wasn't even hers to get miserable over. She rolls her eyes as she nudges Sadness on the shoulder.

"Alright, maybe it's a bit of a bummer, but so what? Pfff, it's not like you liked Fairy Dream Adventure that much," she says with a snort. "You don't have to cry about it."

Sadness rubs at her eyes, the beginnings of her tears falling down her cheeks. "But...but you did...and you cared about it, so...so, if you care about it, then I care about it, and if it makes you sad, it makes me sad..."

"O—Oh," Joy says softly, heat flooding her face. She actually has to look away for a minute at that, stare down at her feet dangling over the crate's edge. Leave it to Sadness to just say the sweetest thing in the world to her like it's nothing.

[polyamorouspunk]

omg for sleepover friday i NEED to rant about my crush cause hes so akdjakdj <33

so, of course, as is in true queer fashion, i am madly in love with my best friend - i mean what can i say? he is GORGEOUS and the most kind, caring, charismatic boy ive ever met, and ive met a LOT of boys. hes one of the only people i know that fully accept me and are 100% okay (and not secondhandedly uncomfortable) with my transness/queerness - im a t4t poly gay man.

so! we spend like every second ever together and he is so nice to me and i love being around him. the only problem here is that i have no clue if he may even ever like me back. i met him this school year, and he is very picky about who he likes / dates - hes stated it takes him years to like / get a crush on anyone - but im like . the opposite. i get crushes sososo easy and they stick like GLUE and i had a crush on him from the first time i spoke to him and he touched my face in a way that felt so insanely intimate and sweet.

anyway, to the point. we both actively yearn about how much we wish we could have a boyfriend - were both lonely gay men. why wouldnt we? - and it is so insanely painful because like. dude. im perfect for you. youre perfect for me. HOW do you not see that? :( every time he talks about something he likes in a boy it feels like hes vaguely hinting at being in love with me but i know hes not cause idk why would he be?

we text each other every time something good, bad, neutral happens. we call when we get home every day until we go to bed and we text each other when we wake up. HOW IS HE NOT MY BF :(

also the other day i wrote a paragraph ab how much i loved him (3k+ characters) and he was like “i love you” “i love you i love you i love you” and its never been so obvious to me how much im in love w someone UGH

idk why im sending this tbh maybe for advice so like 1) should i make a move and 2) how do i make a move

also for sample heres what a goodnight text from him looks like (to see if maybe im just over-exaggerating)

“Hey, imma assume ur asleep. So goodnight, I love you so much, so soooooooooooo fucking much. I cannot WAIT to see you tomorrow, goodnight and I hope you have amazing dreams 💗”

AAAAA im having a he likes me he likes me not moment tbh

Aaaah that’s so cute you HAVE to do something omg you have to bro that’s some fairy tale level shit omg go for iiiit live your best gay life 2024 let’s goooo

[pancake-breakfast]

It's too hot tonight. Please send ice cream.

At least I'm guaranteed more cool Livio and Wolfwood panels. For now.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 9, Chapters 3-4 below.

Chapter 3: LR

Aww, Miss Melanie is doing what she can for the kids despite the situation.

They know the situation is bad, though. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for.

I'd bet Miss Melanie is faster than people would guess. And I'd bet the kids know it, even if they forget from time to time, because they've been on the receiving end of it.

Wolfwood sure left an impression on the orphanage if they're still asking for him all these years later.

I'm just... gonna savor this panel.

Also, I can't help but wonder with the way the text is placed. Like... it's Miss Melanie speaking, but with Wolfwood in the foreground looking wistful and in a precarious situation, I find myself wondering if he's thinking something similar, but about Vash.

I'm honestly a bit surprised Livio's giving Wolfwood the smoke break. Surprised, but glad, since Wolfwood's taking full advantage of it. He's in no rush to try and take down Livio. There's nothing he's going to savor in this fight.

Livio backstory!!! I like the part where he apparently sees Wolfwood as trustworthy enough for it. Or... possibly dead enough for it.

This is no place for a tired, lost, and frightened child.

Razloooooooooo

Gods, my boy needs a hamburger or something. He's way too skinny here.

It would be somewhat upsetting to continually find letters in your own pocket with no concept of where they came from.

Heh, someone means business.

Iiiits Razlo. Hi, there, buddy... The R to Livio's L. Bold move when the Japanese language doesn't distinguish the two.

"I've been silenced." That sounds... involuntary.

Looks like the smoke break's over.

Livio's smiling, but we don't get to see his full expression. Just the skull mask.

Livio with them high kicks. Even Wolfwood looks impressed.

Ugh, no killing Livio, Wolfwood! Not allowed!

Chapter 4: At the Verge of Death

Oof, that was a good, clean shot, looks like.

The mercs aren't happy. They're just now realizing their place in the order of things here.

Dude, headshot like that?? Wolfwood...

Ok, this is interesting, 'cause it implies he expects Livio to get back up despite getting shot in the head.

Chapel's too happy about this, the sick fuck.

Stampede Spoilers: It's interesting that they kinda gave this emotional beat to Legato in Stampede. Like, they seem to be writing out Chapel anyway, what with wrapping Eye of Michael more tightly under Knives/Conrad, and Legato's the obvious choice for someone who would get a kick out of the sadism of it all. Plus, of course, it allows that nice parallel language that he uses about not understanding the value of a love between brothers in Stampede. (I'm still not over that line. It's just *chef's kiss*. I hope anime-onlys get a chance to appreciate it after season 2. I hope it makes them twitch as much as it makes me twitch.)

Ah, here are the Eye of Michael guys. These are separate from the mercs. I get it. Not sure they'll stand much of a chance if Livio's down for the count.

Uhhh... maybe we need to forget what I just said about Livio being "down for the count."

You know, Bungo Stray Dogs has an interesting episode about what happens when you continually return individuals from the verge of death like that....

Oof, Wolfwood....

Ugh, this does not look good.

Did Livio just try to kabedon Wolfwood with his foot??

Livio's having thoughts. Common, buddy. You can figure this out.

How to Take Your Medicine Like a Badass: A Guide by Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Speaking of, he's gonna run out of it fast at this rate. Somehow I doubt Eye of Michael's gonna be open-handed with giving him more.

A:LKAJD:LAKJD:LAJDL:FH: I have too many feels about this panel. The genuine fear in Wolfwood's face as he embraces Livio to pull a move he's not sure is the right one out of pure desperation. Someone save them.

FRACK! That's all the time I have for this tonight. That's... fine. That's ok. No need to rush. No need to rush....

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack

[deceptive-daydreams]

Ok, I'm finished with work, I'm here! 🤣 I did read this before my shift but was waiting to do a proper response till now. It was super early and it was thundering and lightning and raining real hard outside and it was the perfect setting for reading this chapter ⛈️

The flashbacks! The way you wrote her pain was so real. Particularly her feeling paralyzed by it, both of them shells of who she thought they were. Her describing him as home, that was gut wrenching. I was hurting reading it. And then the sugar analogy, he really is gritty but sweet. this whole paragraph was my favourite part I think. You've created such good imagery, it's fantastic.

And then they get mean. I liked that she clapped back though. I've seen mean Eddie fics before and sometimes reader is kinda meek and just takes it (no shade at all, I would 200% be like this in real life) but roadkill does not. The line 'you had no intention of entertaining a conversation with someone who never had your best interest in mind' hit hard. People need to bear this in mind more often (definitely not me 👀) it's inspiring. but he really does try and that part where they're admitting they like eachother but it's all wrong because it's too late. This was 'stick a fork in my heart and just pluck it out beat it to death' angst. Just amazing writing. It's like they're breaking up and they weren't even together.

The self fulfilling prophecy situation Eddie's created for himself was hard. He's convinced he doesn't deserve love and fucks up every good thing in his life, and he makes it so. Isn't mature enough at the time so see it doesn't have to be that way, that he could make better choices. And so the kitchen scene at the end proves it. Poor roadkill. Proves that then was not the right time for them. He needed to get to the present day point to realise that he can make better choices, and he does 🖤

And now they're trapped together! And a totally different kind of trapped than just working together. Forced proximity within forced proximity. Very clever, see what you did there! I love that he's such a rock for her in her distress. And his thoughts on if she were his, how she never would be, how he's somehow fallen even harder. Stop iiiit you're killing me 😭 although this undoubtedly confirms he's got zero going on emotionally with Steve, and he even tells her that! Fist bumping the air at that! Their whole conversion after this was amazing. He's being so honest and she's clinging onto this shitty version of him she's gotten comfortable with because she's stubborn. and seems very good at holding a grudge and I relate to this so much. You have no idea. 'Don't mess me up with your niceness when I'm not used to it, I don't like change' kinda deal. The dialogue was so good here, the direction it goes. She's laying it out how awful it was and telling him how it's affected her dating in particular all this time and his reaction is perfect, it's a great take on misogyny and how that situation would have been terrifying and he understands that now. They were barking. Gross. But they end the conversation on good terms! Not forgiveness, but a ceasefire maybe? I can just see them attempting a friendship and it getting harder for him to hide how gone he is on her 🖤

p.s. them picturing touching eachothers noses the exact same way! I'm scrrreaming 😍 they're gonna be so in love and I can't wait.

Why you were ever scared to post this absolute masterpiece of a character study I'll never know. I loved it. But I guess you can tell that by now 🫣

🖤🖤

ILY IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO GET YOUR ASKS AFTER EVERY CHAPTER 😭

ugh yes that is such a fitting setting like just really setting the mood right there

IM SO HAPPY YOU LOVED THE SUGAR ANALOGY THAT WAS LIKE MY FAVORITE ugh I think that may be my favorite paragraph too 🥹

Yeah I found it really important for her not to hold back or excuse any of his behavior (even tho I’m totally the opposite idk like I’m so shy I would be like ok) UGH YES it feels like a huge breakup but there was never a relationship to begin with so in a way it’s more achey :(

I LOVE forced proximity, ik it’s been done so often but that’s because it’s so good like it just makes you yearn for them so to then double it is like YES NOW YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR DEMONS OUT WITH EACH OTHER HAHA

I’m so glad the take on misogyny landed well

you have no idea how excited I am for them to stop being idiots and just kiss BUT WE ARENT THERE YET

I WAS SO PROUD OF THE NOSE TOUCHING PARALLEL like it’s so simple but it makes you feel their yearning even if they don’t quite realize it yet SO IM GLAD YOU LIKED THAT PART 🥹

thank you thank you thank you I cannot thank you enough for your support on this fic I adore all of your feedback 😭🥹💜💜💜💜

[widowbitessting]

What’s ur favourite color?

Pink! I love pink🫶🏻💕 it’s just so cute and cosy and ugh, I love iiiit

[holdmytesseract]

Boo, I'm so sorry for reading this just now. 🥺 I didn't have much time to read lately and if I did, I was only able to read a few small things. 🥺 But now, now I'm finally here - and omg, I'm SO hyped!

The sight of Loki draped across your doorway greeted you every time you closed your eyes.

What a start... And I mean... We can't blame Y/N, 'cause... Same... 🥴🫡

Loving Loki was a high. And it was a long way down.

I'm already a mess, oh gods... 🫠

You were stuck.

Ahhh... The angst is getting real here. Fuuuck... 🥺

Loki sat casually on his haunches atop the overhang, wrists falling between his knees. His thighs were spread, emerald leather looking viscerally luscious against the darkening sky. Dark hair whipped around his brow, his eyes flashing downward as a smile twisted one side of his mouth.

Ugh, he's so smug and sexy, but also such a little shit. 😭🤤

Loki rolled back, gathering you close to his chest. His palm cupped the back of your skull, the other hand safely pressed to the base of your back. You were vaguely aware of the scrape of his boots against the rock as he drew up his legs, the perfect cage of your protection.

Oh ma goooosh... That's so romantic, but also so angsty, ahhh 🥺😭 HOW DO YOU DO THAT? 🥺😭

In a blinding flash, luxe emerald battle leathers transformed to the thoroughly beige ensemble from yesterday. “Better?” he smarmed, the sarcasm palpable. “Meh,” you replied.

Okay, but that made me giggle. 🤭

The beige fleece Loki was wearing did nothing to stop the warmth of his hard chest seeping through your clothes, a thick waft of his natural musk filling your nostrils. With one hand looped behind his neck, clasping the other, you tried to imagine a world where this sweetness wasn’t everything you desperately wanted.

🥺🥺🥺🫠🫠🫠

Like an out of body experience, hands slid over his sodden shoulders, pulling his parted lips to yours mid-words. Warmth flooded your body as his frozen arms slowly made a cage around your waist, sliding down your back like you would shatter beneath his touch.

O.M.G whaaaaaat?! Wait- Oh... Oh no... Is this the 'one last kiss' kiss??? *fear increases* 🥺

One last kiss, you thought; hoping the rain would mask your tears from the others inside.

I KNEW IIIIT! 😭

Phew, LGG... This series is a roller coaster ride. 🥴 I love it! 😍

A Long Way Down: The Lakes [Loki x Reader]

The Lakes Masterlist / Regular Masterlist Summary: (3) Following Loki's indecent proposal, you get yourself into a treacherous situation. Or maybe two. Warnings: Minors DNI. Smut references. Ex-Loki. Mild peril. Mild angst. Pining. Oh god, the pining. (w/c 4.6k) Recommended Folklore Track: This Is Me Trying

At around five AM, you had accepted that two hours was the maximum amount of sleep that fate had intended for you that night.

The sight of Loki draped across your doorway greeted you every time you closed your eyes.

The moon-slicked skin which begged to be grasped so tightly it bruised, if only for a short time. Those sharp angles in his jawline which fitted so perfectly between your legs. No.

Slipping out of bed, you manoeuvred on your clothes. Natasha would be proud, you thought, grabbing your gloves. Sufficiently bundled, you began the descent down the murky darkness. Of ten stairs, miraculously only four creaked. You paused after every one, listening for a stir from one of the bedrooms. But none came. Since you had slammed the door on Loki, your mind had been a beehive. You had lain there, trying not to move, trying to sleep, trying to think about anything but him. But his velvet voiced temptations and audacity wound around your thoughts like the cottage’s ivy. Wilting like a woman ravaged by thirst with a river rushing on the other side of that traitorous wall.

You hastily scribbled a note in the kitchen, grabbed the spare key and a small rucksack from the hallway hooks. Crisp cold hit like a slap as you opened the door and slipped through. The latch clicked closed.

It sounded like freedom.

A wide circle from the flashlight led your way, noting familiar moss-covered fenceposts and scattered stone path. You took a right at the boundary, seeing the milky promise of a red sunrise ghosting over the mountain. It would be a three hour round-trip to the top of Blencathra, you reckoned. Back in time for breakfast. As you walked, weak sunlight began to crawl the hedgerows. Frosted orange leaves underfoot became wetter. Like cornflakes, you mused, left too long in milk.

You’d had the same observation last autumn when Loki had walked beside you through Central Park, his gloved hand in yours. He’d interrupted with a familiar elaborate description of the palatial breakfasts he’d been served on Asgard. One you’d heard a hundred times before. ‘Every day, mountains of succulent fruit from the god-tree; warm date loaves and bread so glossy it reflected the very sun-” ‘-with the almond glaze.’ you’d muttered knowingly, the implication clear. His grin had widened obliviously.

‘With the almond glaze. Much superior to the cereals so favoured in this realm. I don’t know why humanity puts up with such trash, no wonder you’re all so...someone should do something.’

Loki was a lot of things. He was wild, and powerful; passionate and imposing. He was fiercely loving with kindness that ran as a hot spring runs beneath unforgiving glaciers. When he wanted it to.

His adoration was intoxicating, addicting in a way you had never experienced. When he saw you, he saw only you. Like no other creature existed. The haze had filled you like opium, drunk to all the condescending commentary that chipped at the exterior until it cracked.

And when it cracked, it shattered.

Memories of his dark curls sprawled across your pillow haunted you, the feel of silken strands cutting into your fingertip as you twirled it. He had never been good at keeping to his side of the bed. The words that he whispered when the world wasn’t watching, meant only for you. It seemed like a dream now. And maybe it was.

Perhaps it always had been.

The warmth in his eyes as his thumb caressed your jawline still smouldered as hopeful embers in the depths of your heart. They longed for him, biding their time like jackals in shadows to drag you back to his arms.

And wanting him, that hadn’t left. You doubted it ever would. Loving Loki was a high. And it was a long way down.

If only he could just act like a normal human being, you thought as you drew the wind-breaker further up your throat. And there, you laughed bitterly to yourself in the eerie quiet, is the problem.

It wasn’t his fault, not really. Or was it? You could never tell. And that doubt ate away at you like mice at the skirting boards.

The cold distance between you had been necessary. Self-preservation. And besides occasionally missing the mischief you created together, you doubted he thought of you much at all. The world was full of fawning mortals, after all. He never tired of pointing that out. You certainly doubted he lacked for company.

The thought made you feel queasy. ‘Love’, he’d once mused, ‘is different for a god. We don’t love as you humans do.’

He had paused, snapping his book closed as you lay in his lap before planting a placatory kiss on your nose.

‘You wouldn’t understand’, he’d murmured. And despite your coaxing, that had been the end of it.

It was for the best. That’s what you told yourself when that twisting heartache reared in the dead of night.

But still, you wished you’d had one last kiss, even if you’d known that’s what it was. You looked up at the moon, peeling from the sky and disappearing beneath early-morning mist as you walked briskly towards the mountain’s craggy steep. One last kiss before the lights went out.

As soon as the regrettable words had left Loki’s lips, he knew he’d fucked up. The door-slam was loud. Very loud. And he couldn’t go back to his room, not in his condition. Especially under the circumstances. In the darkness he had picked his way downstairs, cat-like, and had an angry wank in the bathroom. It was perfunctory and mostly silent. And Loki cursed his blasted impatience with every rough tug of his hand. Feeling raw, but more clear-headed, he sat in the living room a while. Moonlight threw a milky hue against the furniture. The carpet almost looked clean under its forgiving sheen. It may have been mice, but he was sure that he could hear the hushed, girlish chatter of his brother and Rogers upstairs, their theories abounding. With growing horror, Loki realised that his brother had been right about not one, but two things that night.

First, that the demise of you and he’s relationship was indeed his doing. The look in your eyes as he presented himself like a charmless commoner had made that abundantly clear. And secondly, the repugnant reclining chair on which he sat was indeed, very comfortable. Thankful at least for the latter, Loki fished down the side for a blanket he’d seen earlier. He sniffed it suspiciously, before throwing it to drape down over his feet. Something about the ragged, scratchy edging made him feel closer to you. Penitent, almost.

Shall I wear sackcloth and ashes, would that suffice?

The thought came intrusively, but behind his subconscious theatrics, there was a morsel of truth. There was something about this place. And there was something about you in it. Perhaps there was something about him too. Something new being birthed, clawing for freedom against scar tissue of old wounds. His brother’s voice played in his mind. ‘Well that could mean all manner of things, brother.’ he’d said. ‘You are insufferable.’ The god closed his eyes, breathing deeply. Perhaps, he thought, I should be thankful for that too. It meant he may be able to fix it. Loki slept soundly in the ugly chair. So soundly, that he didn’t hear the creak of footsteps that came before the first shards of daybreak, nor the soft close of a drawer, nor the click of the latch as you slipped outside into the dark morning alone.

You felt upwards, pads of your fingertips scratching against rough, uneven stone. Searching. The ridge was steeper than you’d anticipated. And you’d been so distracted by winning the imaginary shouting-match going on in your brain, that you had made the most basic error a climber could make. And the most serious.

Your fingers grasped around a jut of rock, feet slipping. Pressing your back against the opposite rockface, you glanced upwards to a large overhang on the ridge that somehow you hadn’t spotted. A chill sliced through your belly as you realised there was no way up. And there was no way down. Your boot slipped against the ledge, making you brace. Fuck fuck fuck. Even Steve wouldn’t make that drop without a couple of broken legs. Or worse. You were stuck. No, not stuck. Fucking crag-fast.

Tears welled in your eyes, a giggle of panicked disbelief threatening low in your middle as you tilted your chin to the sky. The ridge was cut into the mountain, and beyond the overhang, heavy dark clouds were gathering at alarming speed. No one knew you were here. You were fucked.

Closing your eyes, you focused on steadying your heart-rate. ‘Breathe, love’ Loki used to whisper as he stroked your hair. The beat of your heart slowed to a faint thump. The distress widget. Your eyes flew open. Steve had insisted that everyone have an alarm built into their belt, to be worn at all times. It didn’t seem so silly now.

Tentatively, you removed one hand from the rough ridge-face, the crumbling stones beneath your feet making it fly back immediately. You could feel the alarm at the base of your spine, no bigger than a jeans button. If you could just...press it.

Slowly, you began to wiggle your hips back and forth; trying to catch it on something. It caught, a low beep making your heart soar. “ACTIVATE,” you yelled. More stone pellets fell like dried rice. You could only pray Steve had the receiver nearby.

Time passed as a crawl. The sun had risen but somehow, it was still dark. Everything ached. Had it be three minutes or three hours? You were sure the pain in your limbs would be the same either way. How could I be so fucking stupid, you raged silently. At some point, you’d begun to cry.

Had you actually pressed the distress button? Fear fluttered in your stomach. Despite the chill and growing winds, you could feel a uncomfortable damp gathering beneath your clothes. Steve was going to be so pissed when he turned up. If he turned up. More crumbles of rock scattered around your forehead from above. It was followed by a low chuckle. “I can think of easier ways to get me alone, Agent.” Your neck snapped up, not believing your eyes.

Loki sat casually on his haunches atop the overhang, wrists falling between his knees. His thighs were spread, emerald leather looking viscerally luscious against the darkening sky. Dark hair whipped around his brow, his eyes flashing downward as a smile twisted one side of his mouth. “I’m stuck,” you whimpered.

Loki’s smile grew. He tutted. “Not just stuck, Agent. Crag-fast, I believe is the term.” You released an exasperated sigh. “Does it matter?” “Well it was right in Rogers briefing pamphlet. In the hazards section, nestled between blue-green algae and wayward tourists.”

You stared at him, thinking violent thoughts.

“Are you wearing your armour?” you spat. “Your not supposed to be...Loki, just-” Your feet slipped again.

“-for your rescue Madam? Only full regalia will do.” The dazzling smile which accompanied his words made you want to punch him in the face.

“Just fucking get me out of here!”

Loki’s face changed, the mirth in his eyes melting to something akin to concern. “Alright, alright…I am simply attempting to lighten the mood-” he muttered, reaching down. His arm glinted gold, its normal brilliance dulled by the shrouded sun. With all the strength you had, you reached up. You could feel your feet give out below you just as Loki’s hand wrapped around your bicep. With one fell swoop he heaved you upwards, suspended in the air before you fell upon him.

Loki rolled back, gathering you close to his chest. His palm cupped the back of your skull, the other hand safely pressed to the base of your back. You were vaguely aware of the scrape of his boots against the rock as he drew up his legs, the perfect cage of your protection.

“You’re safe now,” he breathed quietly to the sky. His heart was thundering, thuds pulsing through his breastplate. You nodded, silent sobs thrumming your body just as the first drops of rain began to fall.

Thirty minutes later, you and Loki had finally descended the ridge. He had managed to source an easier path with only the most necessary of communication. It had been slow, an ever-present pang in your ankle making you wince when the god’s back was turned. Confident that all your concentration was no longer needed, you decided to ask the question. “Why did you come?” As soon as the words left your mouth, you grimaced. How could you think about them for so long, yet still find the wrong ones? Loki glanced over his shoulder, eyes narrowed. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m grateful you did-” you grovelled. “I mean, Steve made such a big deal about the whole belt button thing I just wondered why he sent you? Didn’t think he’d miss the chance to give me a lecture the whole way home.” You stared at the back of Loki’s head, swallowing. Rain was falling harder now, rustling patter crinkling against your jacket. “Rogers didn’t send me,” the god said coldly, still walking forwards. “I suspect he’s still tucked up under those abysmally threaded bedsheets.”

You hobbled faster, catching up to him. “What do you mean?” “I was downstairs. The receiver was in the kitchen.” You let your eyes wander over the sprawling landscape. Thirlmere lake lay flat in the distance, a grey mirror to the sky. “Why was it in the kitchen?” you mused absent-mindedly. “Well I don’t know, Agent” Loki spat. “Perhaps Rogers wasn’t anticipating a member of our party sneaking out before dawn on a misguided attempt at independence.” “And what’s that supposed to mean?” you snapped, stare burning into Loki’s profile as he pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Nothing. It means nothing.” he muttered. His eyes scanned the horizon. It was a long way down. “Don’t be like that-” “Like what, Agent?” Loki fumed, spinning with a flourish which made the cut of his leathers swirl around his ankles.

The clouds crushing the sky were matched only by the ones gathering in his eyes, both menacingly beautiful in the rawness of their power.

“Rush to your side at the break of day, in an unknown land to a hastily deduced location only to be met with suspicion and incredulity that I would ever think to aid your distress unless under duress? Am I truly so irredeemable?” You felt the hair on your arms stand up, hackles raised. “Well I wouldn’t have needed to get away for a while if you hadn’t been such a presumptive arsehole last night,” “Oh – I see,” Loki said, nodding sarcastically as his hands flew up. “Of course. My fault, as usual.”

He spun away, walking ahead. “Keep up” he bristled loudly. You muttered curses under your breath. The pain was getting worse. Looking up, you were met with Loki’s icy glare over his shoulder. “What is it?” he snapped, trying to remain indifferent. But his eyebrows always gave him away. “I twisted my ankle or something on the ridge,” you sighed.

Loki rolled his eyes. “See – there!” you whined, gesturing. “Right there. Why do you need to roll your eyes at that?”

He stiffened, hands moving to his hips. “Will you allow me to carry you?” he drawled, evading the question. “No I can make it, it’s not that far” you lied. Loki nodded, circling back towards you. “At least take my arm,” he sniffed, offering it forth. And with a reluctant sigh, you took it.

“You need to change your clothes, Loki.” You looked up, meeting the indignant glare you knew would be waiting. “You said it yourself. Hazards: wayward tourists. When Steve finds out about me, he’ll be pissed. If he finds out about you rumbling us, he’ll be catatonic.” Loki released a ragged exhale. “Fine,” he griped. In a blinding flash, luxe emerald battle leathers transformed to the thoroughly beige ensemble from yesterday. “Better?” he smarmed, the sarcasm palpable. “Meh,” you replied. A knowing smirk was exchanged. It warmed the air between you.

“So listen,” you said tentatively, hobbling at his side. “Earlier, you said something about being irredeemable-” “-yes,” Loki cut. You felt his shoulders roll, his demeanour hardening again. “I’m trying to be...trying to, adapt myself. It’s a work in progress. So far it is proving...arduous. Last night was evidence of that.” “Oh. Well...I just meant that you're not irredeemable. We weren’t right together, I know that. You can’t help being a god and a prince and all the eh...attributes, that come from that, and it was wrong of me to...expect you to change? I don’t know.” The two of you picked your way over the uneven track in silence, heart sinking into your stomach before Loki cleared his throat.

“As I understand it, the habits of a lifetime are hard to break even for mortals,” he said, swirling his wrist with a flourish. “Imagine then, what it is like for me.” You threw him an incredulous stare. He frowned. “I understand that my explanation lends weight to your inaugural grievance but you cannot deny the logic” he muttered bitterly.

You licked your bottom lip, heart thumping as you eased the can of worms open. “So what you’re saying is that you agree with...the things I said you were?”

Your heart ached at the memory of the indifference in his eyes as you left him that day. ‘Haughty. Condescending. Unwaveringly arrogant.’

You had been so angry. So angry at his unwillingness to change. To be open to the possibility of change, after everything you had been through together. All the love, so-called, that you had shared. It wasn’t enough – how could you have thought it would be? And he had just sat, crossed-legged on the sofa as you bubbled over the brim. ‘Are we done here?’ he’d said coldly, like concluding a business transaction. In the end, you’d conceded, that the person you were most enraged at was yourself. Loki frowned deeper, staring ahead. You wondered if he was revisiting the same memory. Like loitering at the crevice of a haunted cellar, peering in. His fingers wrapped around yours, still gripping his forearm.

“Well, yes” he replied cautiously. “But I was never expected to be anything else. There was no need – I thought it was just...me. That it was inevitable. It’s all I’ve known.” You opened your mouth and closed it again. “Consider the leaves,” Loki said with a wave of his hand to the multi-coloured foliage littering the skyline. “Those over there...retain their summer green.” He pointed further down the ridge.

“And those, have turned to that rusted maroon you like so much.” He looked to you, features softening. “Does the green leaf know that it is to turn? To change and ebb? Does it have expectation of rebirth?” “It is pretty humble for you to compare yourself to a leaf, I’ll give you that” you mumbled, limping over a pile of scattered cow shit. Loki stopped abruptly, sliding his arm from yours and cupping your shoulders in his hands. His eyes were wide, running over your face as his brows slanted. “Darling, please let me carry you” he whispered earnestly. “Let me help you.” You considered telling him to fuck off, but one brief glance at the endless uneven path stretching down to the forest made you pause. “Fine,” you sighed. “But don’t call me darling. We don’t do that anymore.” A small smile pressed against Loki’s cheeks, making his dimples flash. Immediately he crouched, extending his arms with palms facing up. You shuffled between them, adopting the position.

The beige fleece Loki was wearing did nothing to stop the warmth of his hard chest seeping through your clothes, a thick waft of his natural musk filling your nostrils. With one hand looped behind his neck, clasping the other, you tried to imagine a world where this sweetness wasn’t everything you desperately wanted.

“See?” he postured absent-mindedly as he picked his way down the path with ease. “I can be charming.” Glad of the change of topic, you kept your tone to one of mild interest. “Who says you aren’t charming?” “My brother,” he growled quietly. A snort of unexpected laughter erupted from your throat. You looked to him, faces inches apart. The crawl of Loki’s bemused gaze from your lips to your eyes made your heart skip.

“It’s just…” you started guiltily, searching the depths of his brilliantly blue irises. Even in the gathering gloom of the storm, they sparked. “I-” “I understand,” he said abruptly, looking forward again. His lips formed a hard line, the blade of his cheekbone deepening as his face set. Whatever Loki thought you had meant to say, it was not the truth. But somehow, the truth was harder to muster now than the fiction where you couldn’t stand him. You felt him readjust his grip on your waist, fingers sinking into the soft fleece beneath your rainjacket.

“You are charming,” you whispered against the wind. It was supposed to sound comforting. Platonic. But a part of you hoped that it wouldn’t. Against your better judgement, you curled the hair on his furthest shoulder behind his ear before knitting your fingers again. “Thor isn’t one to talk, anyway.” “Rogers confirmed it,” Loki rebutted harshly, the words catching in his throat. He was very pointedly not looking at you, you noticed. “Steve isn’t one to talk either,” you chuckled, before sighing. Rain fell heavier now, thick droplets landing on your forehead and following the tracks of forgotten tears.

You watched it fall against Loki’s brow, a silken sheen of moisture coating the milk-wild perfection you’d kissed every inch of in your time together. A lone droplet rolled down his temple, following the gutter of his cheekbone before dripping languidly down his chin. It lingered on his jawline, taking the long way down before falling. “Are you alright, Agent?” Loki murmured.

He’d been watching.

Thunder rolled overhead as you nodded slowly, rain clinging to your lashes. Hair was plastered to his cheeks now, inky tendrils winding across alabaster skin like oil on snow. His grip around your body tightened, looking upwards. “Hold on tight,” he growled.

You barely had time to process his words before a torrent unleashed overhead, battering against the ground as Loki began a run down the hill. “M-magic t-to dry-?” you gasped as every stride of his strong legs knocked the breath from your lungs.

“It is fruitless against the English onslaught,” Loki yelled over the storm’s sudden din. “Believe me.” You buried your face in his neck, the heat of your breath against his wet skin conjuring images of lazy mornings spent fucking in his shower. How steam filled the room like Vatican smoke, heralding the joyus arrival of your climax over and over.

Loki would hold you safe against the wall, his large palms cupping your ass and guiding you towards pleasure you had never experienced before. And never would again. The sweet pants of praise he released wetly against your skin, the splatter from his sodden hair as he snapped his neck back in ecstasy. The squeak of his enormous hand running down the glass shield as he came undone inside you. It would haunt your mind forever. The ghost in the cellar.

And now, just like then, there was nothing to do but hold on. Your grip tightened around his neck, the flat of his thigh hitting your ass every so often when, presumably, he cleared a tree trunk.

Every nerve beneath your skin was on fire, each movement jolting life into feelings you had tried to smother. You were acutely aware of your lips parting against the curve of his neck, delicate skin hovering above his own.

Taunting yourself, you brushed against him; sucking your own breath back from the rebound. The fine hairs on his skin tingled your lips, sending twisting aches of desire between your thighs. Loki veered to the left, thrusting your face against his neck. Involuntarily the grip around him tightened, clasping his skin to your lips in a desperate, if accidental, embrace.

And suddenly, it was gone. Loki had lowered you to the ground, standing back abruptly. He stood triangular, legs apart like a soldier.

The fabric of his clothes was dark, saturated with water and clinging to his lithe body like a second skin. It hung against the marbled muscle, tracking every deep line carved into his thighs and plastering the bulge of his crotch in a way that could only be described as obscene.

The stare he held was formidable, two distantly smouldering eyes set with purpose which observed from beneath heavily knitted brows. Hands clasped ceremonially behind his back, he lowered his chin and nodded to the side. With disappointment, you realised you were back at the cottage. Loki had stopped in a small clearing, and the dismal looking residence couldn’t be more than fifty meters away. “I thought you could go ahead” he said, raking his fingers through sodden hair. It slathered back from his face, the sharp lines glinting. “That way, Rogers will never need to know there was an...incident. I will follow after an appropriate interval with an appropriate excuse.”

“Come with me,” you said incredulously, wiping a swathe of water from your cheek. As Loki shook his head, you found you couldn’t stop yourself. “I want them to know you helped, it was my fault I was stupid, I got myself fucking crag-fast like an idiot...and hurt and you-” “No.” was Loki’s staunch response.

The lonely sound of rain on the tree canopy rustled.

Brow furrowing, you stepped closer and brushed down his arm, drawing one hand out from behind his back. It sat limply in yours. “Come with me,” you pleaded.

Loki frowned, staring at your hand holding his own. As if it was not his own. And with aching clarity, you realised this was him trying. “I fear, under the circumstances, I would not be able to contain myself from being…” he swallowed thickly, cricking his neck to the side before continuing, “-myself.” You stared at him, and he at you.

There was a flutter of wet leaves beneath his feet as he shuffled. “Really, you should go you’ll catch your dea-” And just like that, without thinking, you had crossed the space between you.

Like an out of body experience, hands slid over his sodden shoulders, pulling his parted lips to yours mid-words. Warmth flooded your body as his frozen arms slowly made a cage around your waist, sliding down your back like you would shatter beneath his touch.

His tongue slipped cautiously between your lips. It grew with each passing second to a raging hunger in every all-consuming jut muscle against your own. It felt like home. Your fingers tangled in clumped strands of hair against his scalp, teeth clashing while fears were forgotten. If only for now. For now, you wanted to love him. “Loki,” you moaned into his mouth.

His name held weight when you said it like that.

His hands searched your body, never settling in one place, grasping at the jacket which crackled and slid beneath his fingers. Loki panted, cupping your chin before delving deeper.

Every unspoken word, every abandoned touch, each lingering glance that ate away at you in the dead of night flooding from your body to his in that kiss.

“Darling,” he breathed as he held you still. His wet forehead pressed against yours. Your eyes were still closed, waiting for his return. Nerves fluttered in your chest, your stomach; happiness that you daren’t have hoped for sloshing at the edges of your sanity. You couldn’t think.

“Darling,” he repeated stiffly, a gentle shake of his grip urging your eyes open. “I can’t-” he said solemnly, as you opened your eyes. You felt words forming – ‘Don’t call me darling’ - or maybe it was a scream. But a single finger to your lips silenced it, whatever it would have been. “Go.” he said. And he meant it. And as you felt the scream rise again in your throat, you did.

Loki’s watch followed you all the way to the door as he lingered on the edge of the forest. You could feel his gaze as keenly as though it were his hands. How you wished that memory was as hard to conjure as it had been before daybreak. Through the window, you could see Thor buttering crumpets.

One last kiss, you thought; hoping the rain would mask your tears from the others inside.

One last kiss before the lights went out.

>>>> Chapter Four: Home Truths Tags

@lokischambermaid @meowmeow-motherfucker @gigglingtiggerv2 @imalovernotahater @avengersalways @littledark11 @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @thedistractedagglomeration @loopsisloops @glitchquake @holdmytesseract @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @fandxmslxt69 @morriggannlostinfandoms @marygoddessofmischief @sebstanwhore @xorpsbane @peacefulpianist @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @acidcasualties @ozymdias @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokidokieokie @kikster606 @peachyjinx @tbhiddlestan83 @trickster-maiden @skymoonandstardust @justjoanne242 @thenotoriouserg @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfmoonmusic @brittbax @smolvenger @liminalpebble @joyful-enchantress @kaleenjackson @fictional-hooman @kellatron55 @mrs-illyrian-baby @icytrickster17 @multifandom-worlds @buttercupcookies-blog @literatureatthebowofnails

[topsyturvy-turtely]

For the 🎶 The Ultimate Music Ask Game! 🎶

8. Is there an artist or song that you like, despite being of a genre you don't usually like?

18. A song or album from the 90s:

30. Songs you love to sing along to:

35. A song you like in a language you don’t speak:

48. Who’s an artist you think it’s criminally underrated and deserves more recognition?

That should be enough for now... :D

8. i don't usually like depressing german bands lol... but annenmaykantereit is kinda cool. it's because his voice is so deep. if someone who didn't have this bass voice i would be not impressed at all. but yeah... sometimes i have these phases of listening to them :) (two in my life so far lol xD)

18. oh damn... i like the 90s! a lot! it's not like i am exclusively or even mostly listening to 90s music but sometimes when one comes on i am like "ugh so good" okay anygays...

i'd probably say: what's my age again? by blink 182 because it's a mood haha xD (but "all the small things" is awesome too)

30. let me check my "sing along" playlist (that i definitely have to update!) haha ;)

the tradition - halsey (if you know me and don't listen to this song on the highest volume and scream along to it... i'm sorry but we can't be friends)

would've could've should've - taylor swift (omg the emotions!!! i fuckin love this song)

fvck somebody - the wrecks (it's a VIBE!)

BABY SAID - måneskin (this whole album!)

numb - carlie hanson (i love iiiit!)

but honestly there are barely any songs i don't sing along to. i love singing/screaming slong to songs and then having laryngitis

35. colombia, mi encanto - carlos vives

and also dos oruguitas - sebastian yatra

these are both from the disney movie "encanto" i love that movie sm!!!

48. oh boi... i feel i have lots of those. mostly carlie hanson but also sody. and the wrecks, though they are gettimg more recognition now... but i am also hesitant to tell everyone because i wanna keep them to myself because i am a selfish bitch xD

thanks for the asks, smartin!

-> ultimate music ask game

[heretherebedork]

I am here to hurt myself by watching WBL2. I know it ends in a reward but the beginning is nothing but agony and why I haven't watched it before. I am already in pain just from watching any tiny amount of pain of these boys.

lol I am literally refering to this as my day of atonement.

... I did make a very nice Rosh Hashanah post but that doesn't make me particularly religious, tbh. Cultural Judaism, yo.

Also, pain. Hi pain.

Ugh, I avoided this pain for so long. Now I'm here for it. One post. I'm only making this one post. @absolutebl I'm doing it! I know how much you love this, though.

Oh, fuck it, if I'm trying to limit all my rambling to one post I might as well read more it. I ramble so much.

Ep 1:

Oh look pain. Pain. And more pain. Yup. Yup. I hate this kind of plot even if I know it resolves well. At least it's not cheating but STILL hi dying. Shu Yi is a darling boy who deserved better than five years of nothing for any reason and Gao Shi De should have been better than that. Even knowing it ends well doesn't make this easier. dgkldf GODDAMN IT SELF. Just watch the show and stop being a baby about emotional pain.

Awww, the matching ties! I've seen that post a dozen times and love it every time and it's good to see.

The fucking way Gao Shi De just tries to walk back into his life without a second word or hesitation or thought makes me SO DAMN TWITCHY. Poor Shu Yi. Also, Gao Shi De deserves every punch and slap and uuughhh this show was designed to hurt me. I HATE relationships falling apart. Absolutely my least favorite trope/plot point of practically all time.I hate it I hate iiiit I hate it so muuuuuch.

I mean, damn, the acting here is amazing beyond words, obviously. But that just makes it hurt more. Especially Shu Yi's pain that he's put behind so much anger and work just to keep himself functional and it's damn gorgeous DAMNit.

Ep 2:

Darling Shu Yi deserved so much better. Even though Gao Shi De wasn't cheating on him, he deserved better than the silence and disappearance and he deserves the goddamn world. Ugh literally like a minute into the episode and already there is so much pain. I know they end up happy but I almost want to just tell Shu Yi to tell Gao Shi De to fuck off forever.

Nope, Gao Shi De, you deserve the pain. Shu Yi does't, you do, your upset doesn't get me upset. Shu Yi's pain is the only one I regret in this show. But, seriously, doing all this in front of the whole company is such a bastard move in his part honestly. Poor Shu Yi, seriously.

I do love my tiny obviously favorite character, though, and his tiny inability to sit and his tiny double hands for everything and I adore him beyond measure.

Ugh, Shu Yi choosing to fake the return of trust and friendship and love and I am proud of him for doing that and no, I don't care, Gao Shi De deserves it. I mean, it's not a good or healthy choice but, you know what, I'm okay with that.

But seriously. Poor Shu Yi. Has to deal with being ghosted and then Gao Shi De's return and then an extremely drunk ex crying on him when he's just trying to go to work... at midnight, okay, maybe not healthy either.

Ep 3:

Oh, Gao Shi De. You're an idiot. I mean that... only with a tiny bit of affection and mostly with me rolling my eyes. Making a promise to his dad wasn't bright of you. I mean, seriously, 5 years without contacting him, telling him what happened and on the condition that Shu Yi doesn't try to move on in five years of being completely ghosted. That's just dumb to an astonishingly level of dumb.

Ugh, poor Shu Yi. Your dad and your ex are both idiots and they deserve to get away from you just like you want. Seriously. You poor young man. You deserved so much better from the people you love.

But seriously fuck Gao Shi De and Shu Yi's dad. You're both idiots who don't deserve him. Especially his dad. But also especially Gao Shi De. Seriously. This is why we talk to people, damnit. Poor Shu Yi.

Why, yes, that's my main take away from this show. Shu Yi deserved so much better. Gao Shi De's need to constantly solve everything by himself is the biggest problem in the show, oy vey.

OF COURSE he wants to go back to that time. He was loved and loved and trusted you and happy and comfortable and who wouldn't want to go back to that?

Yu Zhen Xuan is my darling, obviously, and Pei Shou Yi's wanting to take care of him but also to stay away from him for his own sake. Oh, boys.

Ep 4:

I know they get better at some point. I really do. Shu Yi is still breaking my heart, though. I just want to see the poor darling smile and not in a flashback.

Oh, Shu Yi. You deserve the world, seriously. I mean, I'm glad you've managed to come back around to trying to believe in Gao Shi De. I really am. But man he doesn't deserve it. But also ugh, this embrace, utterly fantastic. Darling Shu Yi is finally smiling!

And poor Yu Zhen Xuan trying to ask about Pei Shou Yi so deseperately and being denied everything... ugh, I love him so much. But mostly just Yu Zhen Xuan wanting that connection so badly but always, again and again, denied and I just want to comfort him so badly. Yes, he's coming to you but, I mean, what is friendship but going to other people for comfort? Awww, the two ramens. The BABY.

But also darling Shu Yi is finally smiling and Gao Shi De does bring him comfort and love and they're genuinely good to and for each other, at least, once they're together. Now they just need to actually talk to each other about what happened.

The simultaneous "DAD" was gorgeous. Okay, that was really good.

Ep 5:

Ah, my long awaited darling boy's backstory that I know and love. The tiny panic and fear and the way he jumps and fights back at the tiniest thing... I love this feral teenager SO MUCH and then he grows up into a CTO for a major company and it's even better.

Plus, Pei Shou Yi looking for him after telling him not to come back because the mug got returned? Ugh, heartbreaking but in like a sad, small kind of way.

And the darling CEOs teasing each other in front of their employees while also in suits and being uplifting and good at supporting them? A+ how does one go about getting bosses like that? Also, how Shu Yi looks at Gao Shi De when he's being a good boss? Also A+.

Okay, yes, they're adorable and tiny and the piggyback ride while also in suits and looking fine is simple the best of the best and Gao Shi De taking care of Shu Yi while also confronting his father is frankly amazing. Oh, darling boys.

Gao Shi De, he already admitted that he did this entirely to trick you and Shu Yi is perfectly willing to take a stand against his father. Stop trying to win him over. Let Shu Yi handle his family. His dad's an idiot and he's not gonna listen to you.

Ep 6:

More backstory for my darling feral teenager and the doctor who took care of him at his lowest. I love them both so much. I wish they'd gotten more of a story but I'm not entirely sure I want a third season about them either.

Portable boyfriend! Well! Portable boy... friend...

Also, Shu Yi and Gao Shi De, you have no right to talk about them not communicating, seriously boys, love you to death but seriously communication... actually, honestly, Shu Yi is great at communication. He can criticize them. Gao Shi De has no right.

Pei Shou Yi, seriously, you say these things about not having any emotion but you also admit that you knew he evoked a response from you. You definitely remembered and had feelings about him when you were separated. I mean, you even saved the ramen that was his favorite. You looked for him. I know it's scary but that's okay.

Shu Yi is just so adorable about meeting the in-laws and being all awkward and adorable and it's beyond cute and then the talk about his dad and family and they're just adorable and domestic and sweet and how dare they.

Literally, Shu Yi is the best person in the world and the two people who love him most can learn a lot from him.

Ugh, Yu Zhen Xuan is my baby and I love him so much and he's just doing his best to be his best and he wants to love and be loved but he's trying so hard and I love him so much. He's just such a darling and he also deserves the world and to be loved just as he loves.

And we had to have another pool kiss, of course, what darlings.

Pei Shou Yei: I don't experience emotions... except the ones involved in protect Yu Zhen Xuan because those aren't emotions, those are just natural urges and don't count.

Awww, proposals are always adorable and sweet.

I did it! I've finally watched the whole thing, between dramacool and dailymotion I've managed to watch this show. Yay for me!

[hobidreams]

RAAAAIIINNN!

February 1872 is perfect. I don't think I can say anything else, there's not much to say really-- you've already written it all 💟

It is just the right amount of everything and the perfect drabble before the final chapter. My heart swells with relief, delight, and love just--ugh, it's so so lovely 🥺💟 You are so right with all the hints and answers you've been giving us with your asks. Thank you for giving us this! I am completely putting my 100% faith of the final (omgg) chapter in you, in whatever you choose to end it haha. I saw your posts you were sort of having a hard time writing the finale and I'm so sorry about that 😥 must've been bc you want it to be perfect. But also like, it could go on (that would be hard for sure haha) and I do like to read some more chapters of MLT and mini drabbles the two's relationship bits and other side characters' stories as well? Yes pls 😂 jk! That would be hard and too much pressure and for sure you still have a lot of more stories you want to write (future fic or in your life). Tho looking forward for mini drabbles in the future for this series 👀💕

(Ooh I just looked at the MLT masterlist, and there's a "finale/epilogue"?! Omgg can't wait!! 👀)

So I don't have a lot to say about this chapter (because as I said, it is just so perfect!) but I had some reactions on several lines while reading it because I think I'm in a rollercoaster ride with emotions with this one-- in the best way. Here are some (the whole drabble is amazing really) highlights that made me "scream" as if i'm watching an intense scene of a really good show while shouting at the tv haha:

"But now. Now, the reality of living without him is too much to bear without putting voice to your truth at least once."

I think this is the represents the whole feeling of OC with this chapter and onwards. Finally, she's speaking up for herself and being so brave and vulnerable at the same time. Letting herself be seen as vulnerable and standing her ground. I think, she's not just doing this for her and Jeonha's relationship but equally for herself too, as a person. Beautiful.

My breath hitched and I squeeled when she instantly confessed to the queen hahaha it's so intense haha

I knew it, I knew that I like the Seong-nim, there's just something in her haha. She's so cool. Haha

" There must have been others trapped by royal responsibility. Others who have let themselves be happy."

What does this mean? 👀 omg haha or just something she said? anyways

“I certainly don’t plan on being alone for the rest of my life. And there are plenty of eligible men in this palace.”

YES QUEEEN, YOU GO GET IIIIT!! 😂

"She speaks with such authority that you can’t help but feel envious. It seems to come so inherently to her, while it has taken all of your courage to even be here. To speak. But still—You are here, standing your ground. You are fighting for yourself." - just so proud of our OC 🥺❤ yes gurl, you deserve it! You value so much! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

"Elegantly, Seong-min reaches out her hand, beckoning you to do the same. Though you are bewildered, you offer yours before you can think better of it. She links your fingers together in an uncharacteristically delicate hold."

Aww look at our girls supporting each other!! ahuhu i can't, it's so sweet and wholesome 🥺it's also sweet that she have similarities with the former queen ❤.

“Jungjeon-mama… I must go,” you say. She smiles widely as she releases your hand. “I know. Go. Quickly!”

RUN BICH, YES, GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!❤

“Eunuch Kim,” He starts, without looking up. “I told y—”

“Jeonha.”

Yoongi’s eyes flash up with an almost inhuman speed. "

oh my.. can you imagine somone does this to you everytime you call them? Ugh my heart 😂 my breath hitched again and my heart leapt up that it goes through the roof haha

I really love she just keep on going, saying what she wants to-- no one can stop her now!! she's finally not letting herself stop her now for sure! Ugh, so proud of her ❤ yes gurl, SAY IT!! 😂

The whole confession of OC to Jeonha!!! The whispers, the murmurs, OC's realization, their adorement to each other, the gradual moving towards each other!! Until they do hold each other!! So tender and so lovely!! 🥺❤

“Powerless, when you have all this power over me?” He asks, almost amused at the absurdity of the thought."

aaand now my heart shoots up to the moon ahahahah

Oh the LOOKING AT THE EYES AND THE HAND HOLDING!! 🥺

"Your voice is a whisper when you confess, “I want to have a family with you.” The secret lifts from your chest, blooming in that precious space between your bodies. “I do too,” he says, “So much.”

at this point you can just hear the explotion of my heart from afar out there in space idk haha

Thank god OC is a healer and is so good at medicine as well 😂 and also

This whole thing 🥺❤:

"“If we never try, there is never the possibility we might succeed.”

Yoongi gives a surprised bark of laughter, the sound waterlogged with emotion thick in his throat. “My mother. She used to say that.”

“I know. And it’s only now that I understand exactly what she meant.”

Cackled when he yelled to call for Eunuch Kim and their whole exchange, of course he nearly bumped into the door frame 😂

“The man is absolutely delighted,” Yoongi mutters when you are alone again, his voice as sarcastic as it is fond. “I know exactly how he feels,” you say, grinning as you pull your king, your love in for another kiss.

Ohh really. My heart is just glowing like it's about to burst haha 🥺

Gah can't believe we have to say goodbye to the story but I cannot wait for the grand finale!!💟 I'm sure it would be amazing and have a lot of heart because you put your heart in writing it. Also, sorry I basically copy-pasted your words haha, i just want to express how good these are haha, my emotions are again, at high but def in the best way! Aaand also this is too long sorry Hahaha 😅 I have way too many feelings haha.

Thank you 🥺❤ this is really beautiful and absolutely also one of my favorite chapters in this series. Truly, it's also beautiful to see your journey as a writer with this (and other series/drabbles too), as we read the character's journey as well.

So excited for finale!!! Also I hope you take your time and please take care of yourself as well. Don't rush or pressure yourself too. Just write a finale that you've always envisioned and importantly, a finale that you love (and loved writing). Talk to you soon! Hope you're doing good and good days are ahead! 💟

- 🧇

AHHHHH DEAREST 🧇 ANON!!!! how dare u come in here and steal my heart like this 🤧🤧🤧 this is so so kind of you to send in. im seriously so happy that so many lines resonate with you and thank you for trusting me with it ✨✨✨ i would love to write more drabbles but right now my brain is really focused on "finish this and pass out for a few months" so we'll have to see, lol! i also want to focus more on my original fiction so idk what the new year might bring. but i wanna make more content for this universe bc it is my baby 🥺

the line about the others and responsibility--it's meant to imply that ppl in the past have also been as transgressive in terms of not playing by the palace's rules hahah. like.. ur not the only one who's human, oc!!! 🤣

pls never apologize omg it was an absolute treat to read all your reactions and my heart feels SO full 💗 im just so blessed with y'all wonderful readers and anons and i just 😭😭 makes all the hardest times feel worth it. i was stuck for a long time on so many of the sections in this chapter but im glad i pushed through asdl;fkj

talk to you soon babe!! i really want to come back with a finale i can be proud of. so wish me luck LOL. im maybe nearing the halfway point..............? but the end is still not in sight 🤧 please take care!!!! stay hydrated!!!!

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

I regret not buying this shirt tbh ugh such old lady goodness I love iiiit

Wish this shirt wasn’t dirty I would have totally gotten it made me think of ✨them✨

I see three kitty shirt it is Boreo shirt. That is law

✨IF BOREO WAS✨

✨LIGHT ACADEMIA✨

[meandmypagancrew]

Maybe What You Think Of Me Won’t Change

Did you guys know that in addition to being a gifmaker and a dollmaker, I’m also a writer? I know! I am a woman of many talents most mediocre and useless. Anyway, I wrote this little fic about Clark and Farrah from We Are The Tigers, so if you’re into that kind of thing, give it a read under the cut!

It wasn’t super uncommon for Farrah to suddenly come to and not know where she was or how she got there. So when, in her drunken haze, she had a sudden moment of clarity and found herself outside by a dumpster, she groaned. In the dim light from a streetlight, she took stock as she pushed one of her braids over her shoulder. Clothes? Still on. Phone? Not dead. Purse? There. There wasn’t any vomit or blood or anything. All in all, not the worst night she had ever had.

As she got on shaky feet, she tried to remember what had happened. Marissa had picked her up, and they went to a house party at Rich’s. She had a few flashes of the party, a red solo cup in her hand, Liz doing a keg stand, Kayla and Jason trying to subtly sneak upstairs- but then nothing. Fuck. There was no one around, so how was she supposed to get home? She pulled out her phone again and clicked the home button, being greeted by a picture of Tom Holland as Spiderman- her favorite celebrity crush- and the time 3:42. It was a Thursday, but still summer, so thank God she didn’t have to worry about being up for school. 

She pushed that thought to the back of her mind. First she needed to get home. She unlocked her phone- her home screen was a picture of her and her mom when she was born, which caused her to squint, both because of the lighter color scheme being brighter and the memory of her mom- and clicked to her contacts. Family was strictly out of the question, Annleigh would kill her for waking her up, her stepmom hated her, and her dad wouldn’t be mad but he’d be so disappointed he would probably cry the entire way and making your dad cry is a soul crushing experience.

She sat back down as she scrolled through her contacts. Party friends. A guy who was her partner for a chem project last year. Former Captain Kimberly, future Captain Riley. A guy who was rumored to be a drug dealer, but was only her contact for buying alcohol. Her first try was Marissa- she got her into this, it seemed only natural she’d get her out, but it went straight to voice mail. She kept looking, her drunk mind trying to think. Her finger tapped on Bridget, a girl who had been a cheerleader at Giles Corey but transferred back to public school after her dad had been laid off. They weren’t close, but Bridget had shown her the ropes when she joined the team, and she was a night owl so she should still be awake.

Before the first ring even finished, her usual deadpan voice answered. 

“What.” She said, and Farrah struggled to not sound as drunk as she was as she responded.

“Bridged?” Despite her best efforts, her speech was a little slurred. “Canyou comeaaand git mee?”

“Farrah, it’s almost four AM.” Her voice still had no inflection. Even when sober, it was very difficult to discern where Bridget was standing, and if you were getting anywhere with her. Drunk? It was pretty much impossible.

“Yeeeeaaaaaaah… but Imm stuuuuuuck.” 

“No.” Was the response, unusually harsh for Bridget. 

“Whaa…?” She asked, though she was pretty sure she heard her correctly. It just didn’t seem right. Bridget wouldn’t just abandon her like this, right? As she had so astutely noted it was almost 4 AM- she was the only person who would be awake.

“No. I’m not your babysitter, Farrah. You got yourself into this mess, take some goddamn responsibility for your actions.”

“Buuu… butMarissa took meee dribking-“

“Did Marissa force the alcohol down your throat?” Bridget asked, a little too abruptly and Farrah didn’t respond. She knew she was right, and Bridget knew from her silence she had hit the nail on her head. “You made a choice. You deal with the consequences.”

The line went dead. Bridget’s words were true, but how the hell was Farrah supposed to get out of this? Buses weren’t running this time of night, she didn’t even know where she was, let alone how to get home- she needed help.

As she resumed scrolling through her contacts, a very depressing thought hit her. She didn’t have anyone to call. She was the girl you call for a party, not the girl you depend on when you need help. She didn’t have a single true friend she could depend on right now. There were no clutch friends. To put it quite frankly, she was completely fucked.

As she settled in against the dumpster to wait for daybreak, hoping the sun would bring with it some ideas, a memory she didn’t know she had came to the forefront of her mind. 

“I think she’s asleep.” A voice that must have been Annleigh’s said in her memory. 

She was lying down, but her eyes were closed. From the lights that occasionally shone through her eyelids, the soft rumbling, and the feeling of movement, she must have been in the backseat of the car.

“Okay.” Came another voice, male- Clark. “I’ll carry her in when we get there.”

“You don’t have to do that!” Annleigh immediately replied, and Farrah could picture the heart eyes she was almost undoubtedly making. “You’ve already done so much, helping me come get her.”

“Don’t mention it.” He replied. “I’m happy to help.”

“You must get tired of it.” Annleigh replied with a sigh. “I mean, she’s not even your family.”

“Well, first off, we are all sisters and brothers in the eyes of our Heavenly Father,” She could hear the smile in his voice, and a gentle sound of contact as if Annleigh had playfully hit his arm. When he spoke again, though, the smile was gone. “In all seriousness, though, your family is my family. I will always be there for Farrah, because I love her like a sister.”

The conversation turned to some boring bullshit about theology, so she had tuned it out. But her mind kept coming back to that promise. Did he mean it? Did he say it just because he thought it would win him brownie points? Either way, it was her last possible option, so she navigated to his contact and hit call.

After a few rings, his groggy voice answered.

“Hello?”

“Clark?” She asked, and she could almost feel him snap awake.

“Farrah? What’s happening? Is Annleigh okay? Are you okay?”

“Iiii’m fiiiiine. I need a riiide.”

Clark exhaled, and she felt a little bad for waking him up. He was probably going to do thing Bridget had. This was a speculator waste of time for everyone.

“I’m…. I don’t knoooow…”

“Do you see any landmarks?” He asked, his voice patient even though she could hear him moving about, probably grabbing his keys and heading out.

“Let me… check…” She stumbled a little bit, struggling to hold the phone and climb to her feet. “Oof, okay…”

“Farrah, what’s going on?” He asked, and she waved it off before realizing he couldn’t see her as she meandered out of the alley to the street.

“Iiiit’s fiiine. You worry too much!” 

She put a hand on the wall to steady her as she took stock of her surroundings. Sure enough, she was at a bar, but she didn’t recognize the name and found it highly unlikely Clark would either. Most of the storefronts were dark, and even the ones that weren’t, she felt like the words were spinning in front of her. 

“What do you see?” He asked, and she scrunched up her face.

“Uhhh…” She stalled but then she saw it. She thought it was maybe the most beautiful building she had ever seen in her life, down at the end of the street. “There’s a castle…”

“A… castle?” He asked, confused.

“It’s all white. It’s so pretty. It has flowers.”

“An all white building?” He tried to clarify. “The hospital?”

“No… there’s a man on the building…” She had to squint, but sure enough.

“A man on a castle that’s white with flowers?” The skepticism in his voice was so evident that even in her state she could pick up on it and it annoyed her.

“He’s golden!” She insisted, just wanting him to believe her, that she wasn’t hallucinating.

“A golden man on- the Mormon temple?” He asked, which Farrah couldn’t say for sure, but it seemed like the best bet. “Farrah, are you at the Mormon temple?”

“Nooo… I’m in front of a bar down the street…”

“Okay. Okay. Hold on.” Clark said as Farrah leaned against the wall, already feeling a hangover starting to set in. “I’ll be there in five minutes. Can you hang on for five minutes?”

“Yeah…” She replied, closing her eyes against the light filtering through the bar’s windows.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”

Once he hung up, she pocketed her phone after making sure it was on vibration in case something happened. She had considered doing something on her phone while she waited, but even on the lowest setting, it seemed so bright it might burn her. Out of sheer boredom, she started to undo her braids. After all, even if she slept in them, she’d have to redo them tomorrow, because they’d be messy. 

Just as she was relocating her second hair tie to her wrist, and shaking out the braid, the door to the bar opened, and a man walked out. Farrah didn’t notice him at first, busy combing her hair out, but he sure noticed her.

“Oh, hey, pretty girl.” He said and she looked up into eyes that looked at her like she was less of a person and more of a meal. Ugh. She had met so many predatory men like this, and she really wasn’t up to it right now. “What are you doing out here all alone?”

“My ride is coming.” She said, both as an answer to the question and a way of informing him that there was someone who knew where she was supposed to be, so he better not try anything.

“I can take you wherever you need to go, baby.” He was almost purring, which was about as unsettling as being called baby by a stranger twice her age. “Especially if where you need to go is back to my place.”

That statement was punctuated with a wink, and she felt like she needed a shower.

“No, thank you.” She replied, trying to walk the line between being polite enough that he didn’t think she was a cunt and murdered her, but not so polite that he thought she was into him and when she rejected him, didn’t think she was a cunt and murdered her. 

“Aw, come on, I can make you feel reeeeal good.”

He started to advance towards her and Farrah took a step back before she realized that would just back her into an alleyway, which was a dead end. She had no option but to stand her ground.

“I said no!” She almost yelled, and he grabbed her arm.

“Come on, baby, don’t be like that.” She tried to struggle against his grip, but he tightened his grip, which only scared her more. He was so much more powerful than she was.

“Get off of me!” Now she was yelling, a hint of desperation in her voice and he grabbed her other arm as well, which she continued to try to resist, but he was too strong.

“I said don’t be-“

“Get away from her!” She heard a car door slamming and while she couldn’t see who it was, she recognized his voice. The dude’s attention was fractured by the interruption, and his grip loosened as he looked over his shoulder. Farrah took advantage of that to pry herself from his grasp, running straight at Clark, throwing her arms around him and clutching the back of his shirt as tightly as she could, squeezing her eyes shut as she buried her face in his chest. He immediately wrapped one arm around her, holding her close.

“What are you, her boyfriend?” He sneered, and the fear in Farrah’s heart didn’t subside much. What even could Clark do? This guy, he looked like he could be a stunt double for Thor. And Clark? Clark could be the stunt double for Captain America- pre-serum.

“I’m her BROTHER!” He said, his voice taking on a hint of fierceness that Farrah had never heard before, and somehow she knew that he was going to protect her, whatever it took. “And she clearly said no, not to mention the fact that she’s 15! Take one more step towards us and I’m calling the cops on you, you pervert!”

There was a very tense moment, a pregnant pause where Farrah could feel Clark’s heart pounding against her forehead. He talked a big game, but he was terrified. If he called their bluff? The two of them together couldn’t even come close to taking him on, especially in her state. But he must have moved away, because she felt Clark exhale.

“Whatever. She’s a fat bitch anyway.” His voice was moving away, but Clark continued to hold on for several moments. He put his other arm around her before pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“Oh, Farrah…” 

She pulled away and looked up at him, furrowing her eyebrows at the soft murmur, confused about what he meant. Before she could ask, he pulled away even more to open the door of the car for her.

“Let’s get you home.”

She obediently climbed in, again running a hand through her hair as she checked in the mirror her reflection. Her makeup was a mess and she had definitely seen better days, but the wave in her hair was gorgeous. As Clark got into the car next to her and immediately locked the door, she expected him to say something, but he stayed silent. Even as he started the car and some sort of Christian rock- Switchfoot, maybe?- started filtering through his car speakers, a little distorted because the bass was ruined. If Farrah recalled correctly, that was because when Greatest Showman came out, Annleigh adored it so much that not only did she make Clark take her to go see it in the theatres at least six different times, it was the only thing she would listen to and she would play it whenever he drove her anywhere and was not afraid to blast it.

She expected a lecture, some kind of explosion, but instead he just stared straight ahead, clutching the wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His silence was agonizing, and when she finally recognized their surroundings as he turned into their neighborhood, she braved speaking.

“Are you mad?”

“No.” He answered quickly. It wasn’t snapping at her, just a decisive statement.

“Are you sad?”

“No.” It was said the same way and she exhaled in frustration, feeling like she had to get to the bottom of this before he dropped her off, which would be soon despite the meandering streets of the neighborhood that made little sense- Clark was an expert and could navigate it like nobody’s business.

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Are you annoyed?”

“No.”

“Are you disgusted?”

“Farrah, I’m worried.” He said as he pulled in front of the Victorian manor replica that she called her home. 

She was surprised that he cared so much, and surprised at herself that she also felt defensive. As he unbuckled his seatbelt to turn and look at her, she crossed her arms.

“You’re only saying that because of Annleigh. You don’t care about me. Or at least you only care about me as Annleigh’s sister.”

“Farrah, look around.” He said, and she furrowed her eyebrows, turning to him. Look at what? The dark buses that lined the pathway up to the front door? The neighbors across the street who’s porch light was green instead of normal? The empty McDonalds bag at her feet? The little pop figures from whatever weeb shit he was into on the dashboard?

“Do you see Annleigh anywhere?” Her brows still furrowed, she shook her head. Of course Annleigh wasn’t here, she would be inside asleep, like the good little girl she was. “This isn’t an act for her. I’m not even planning on telling her this happened. I’m worried about you because I care about you. Not the Farrah who’s Annleigh’s sister, but the Farrah who’s an amazing flier, the Farrah who knows all the words to Princess Bride and watches it every year on her birthday, the Farrah who hasn’t taken ballet in four years but still sometimes twirls when she thinks no one is looking. I care about the Farrah who goes horseback riding and even if she’s in a skirt refuses to ride side-saddle. I care about the Farrah who hides books in her backpack because she loves to read but would hate for anyone to find out. I care about the Farrah who sits on her phone and pretends not to pay attention to whatever’s on TV but when her dad falls asleep during the middle of an episode and then when he wakes up and asks what he missed, always knows exactly what’s going on. I care about the Farrah who found an abandoned kitten in a rainstorm and took him home and took care of him until she could be rehomed despite the fact that she’s very allergic. I care about the Farrah that named that cat Aaron Purr. I care about that Farrah a whole lot more than I care about Annleigh’s sister.”

She didn’t have a response to that. Clark had only been actively in her life for about a year, since her dad got married, but in that time he had been paying attention. She had gone through the mortifying ordeal of being known by him and she didn’t even realize. But at the same time, even though those things were all true, they all seemed so far away. When was the last time she had danced? Finished a book? Gone horse riding at all? The person he described sounded like such a nice person, she wanted her back. When she realized that, she started to cry.

“Oh- oh, no, no, Farrah, please don’t cry-“ Clark started to panic, placing a hand on her back as she dropped her head into her hands as he continued to move around as if looking for something. “I didn’t mean it as a bad thing, I just think you’re an amazing young woman and if you keep getting into bad situations like you did tonight, I don’t know what’s going to happen-“

“Help me.” She managed to get out through her sobs, and he suddenly stilled.

“What?”

“Help me. Please.” Once she started, it seemed like she couldn’t stop, even though the plea had to be filtered through sobs and snot. “I know I’m in trouble, but I don’t know how to stop- I can’t stop. I know everyone hates me, even my friends, and I know that it’s gone too far, but I’m scared, Clark, I’m so scared-“

“Hey, hey, shhh…” His voice brought her to an immediate halt, bringing her back to earth. She looked up at him, and even with her smeared mascara, snotty nose, tear stained cheeks, and red, puffy eyes, he didn’t turn away. He didn’t recoil in disgust. He offered her some napkins from a fast food chain he must have found somewhere with an encouraging smile. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll talk to your parents with you about it. If you have to go to rehab, I’ll visit you there and write. A bunch of my friends have sisters about your age, I’ll introduce you to them and maybe you’ll really hit it off and find some better friends. It won’t be easy, but I promise you don’t have to do it alone. Just say when.”

She accepted his offering and transferred her makeup from her face to the little caricature of the Grecian from the Little Ceasers logo, thinking hard about it. Right now was not an option, even with the sun beginning to appear on the horizon, she didn’t want to wake anyone up. But she also knew if she waited too long, she would lose her nerve. She was already starting to waver as she pulled herself back together. Surely things weren’t that bad, right? She could handle it on her own. But Clark was still looking at her for an answer.

“The day after tomorrow.” She finally said, and he seemed a little confused about the random time, so she explained. “The cheer sleepover is tomorrow night. You’re picking Annleigh and I up in the morning. When you drop us off, my parents should be home.”

Understanding the timeline, he nodded. It would give him enough time to research how to be a support system for her, and it would give her enough time to figure out how to backtrack, and tell Clark she didn’t really mean it and she was actually fine. That decided, she sling her purse over her shoulder and opened the car door to get out.

“Farrah?” He asked as she put her foot on the sidewalk, and she turned a little to look at him.

“Hmm?”

The light in the interior turned on when she opened the door, so she could see him clearly for the first time all night. He looked tired, but still as charismatically cheerful as ever, the human equivalent of a golden retriever. 

“Chin up, buttercup.”

He gave her shoulder a playful punch and she couldn’t help but smile back before fully getting out of the car. As she walked up to her door, she thought that maybe it wouldn’t be too bad after all. Maybe he could help her find the girl he saw again, and she could be better. As she opened the door she looked back. He was still waiting and gave a small wave. She waved back before taking a deep breath and stepping inside, hearing his car start up again and drive off as the door closed behind her.

[technicallysideacc]

I was tagged by @theleavesoflorien and @stronghaz to do a couple of memes (Thank youuu <3333 I love doing these things!)

Song titles

Rules: only using song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and tag 10 people

Artist: Paul McCartney 

What’s your gender? Mrs. Vandebilt

How are you feeling? Hope for the future

If you could go anywhere? London Town

Favourite mode of transportation? I Don’t Know

Your best friend? My Valentine

Favourite time of day? Beautiful Night

If your life was a tv show? My Brave Face

Relationship status? No words (for my love)

50 questions you’ve never been asked

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? grey and boring

2. A food you never eat? I never eat fish (which I should but... ) or seafood, I just hate the taste!

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? I tend to get cold easier (but I always bear it with more dignity than when I get too warm hahaha)

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I was just finishing work while I drank some tea! I was correcting some Writing assignments from 6th graders, and then sending a couple audio messages to another teacher to properly coordinate. 

5. What is your favourite candy bar? “Kinder Bueno”❤️

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? Yeah, several times! When I was 12-13 I was really into football, so I went to lots of matches in the Camp Nou (the Barça stadium) both of Barça and the national team. I also attended to several rugby matches, even if I didn’t really like it, because my dad was a city council worker and all of them had free passes, for some reason... and it quickly became “our thing”. 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? I said “but that’s awfuuul and I hate iiiit”, because the other teacher had just told me that we’re supposed to keep correcting assignments simply indicating the mistakes so that the kids can find the correct way of saying things themselves, and that this process can be repeated as many times as it takes for the kid to find the solution.

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip! 🌿😍

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? A cup of black tea with a dash of milk

10. Do you like your wallet? Yes! It’s a colourful one that my parents bought me for my birthday, a couple years ago!

11. What was the last thing you ate? It was a banana, as a desert! (I had lunch a couple hours ago)

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Hahaha not really! Since the quarantine situation happened, I haven’t been able to leave my home and all shops are closed, so...

13. The last sporting event you watched? Ugh, honestly, who knows?😂 It must’ve been a long time ago, but most likely a football match during the last World cup?

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Salted popcorn all the way! I worked in a popcorn stand back when I was 16, and it was the worst work experience of my life, I still get war-flashbacks! Since then I’ve hated sweet popcorn with a passion, it’s like my brain still remembers what a nightmare it was to clean the machine that made them 😂

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? It was another workmate - a teacher with whom I need to organise preschool activities.

16. Ever go camping? I’ve never done it, no!

17. Do you take vitamins? Not right now, but I usually have to take some to help strengthen my throat area, since I get lots of sore throats during the school year.

18. Do you go to church every sunday? Hahaha not really, no! I only do it for special occasions - weddings, comunions, all that!

19. Do you have a tan? I’m probably one of the less tanned people to ever live in Spain😂

20. Do you prefer chinese food or pizza? Both are GREAT, but if I really have to choose, I’d go with pizza

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? No, unless I’m at the cinema and I’ve got one of those plastic containers!

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? I like my socks colourful, and sometimes with cute patterns, so all colours, really!

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I’ve never driven a car, so no!

24. What terrifies you? Almost everything, probably! A huge phobia to bees and wasps stands out, though!

25. Look to your left, what do you see? The empty cup of tea, a pen and a paper with some handwritten notes related to work.

26. What chore do you hate? Sweeping is the thing that I hate the most, it’s so boring and as soon as you’ve done it, everything is dirty again 😂

27. What do you think of when you hear an australian accent? Not a lot, really! I’m not that good at recognising Australian accents if I’m honest!

28. What’s your favourite soda? Coca-cola!

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Since I don’t drive, I usually go and eat it in the fast food place. But I’m not big on fast food in general :)

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? That teacher I was sending the furious audio message to 😂

31. Favourite cut of beef? I don’t really have one!

32. Last song you listened to? Oh Love - Green Day 🥰🎸

33. Last book you read? It’s been a while since I read anything other than fics really hahaha

34. Favourite day of the week? Friday!

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Probably I could, if I focused on it enough!

36. How do you like your coffee? Half coffee, half milk, two spoons of sugar!

37. Favourite pair of shoes? A nice pair of ballet flats I bought some months ago. So cute and comfy at the same time!

38. At what time do you normally go to bed? In a normal routine, between 11 and 12. Right now, around 2 am.

39. At what time do you normally get up? In a normal routine, at 6. Right now, around 9 am.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. How many blankets are on your bed? Only one. But I always put one of those hot water bottles to stay warm ❤️

42. Describe your kitchen plates? They’re a very nice shade of pastel green! We bought them when we moved to this flat 6 years ago!

43. Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? Gin&tonic all the way!!! But I also love white wine and baileys

44. Do you play cards? Not really!

45. What colour is your car? I don’t have a car haha (so many car-related questions!)

46. Can you change a tire? aksfhakfsjhkashf I’m sure I would NEVER be able to do that, for the life of me. Like, I wouldn’t even know how to start hahaha

47. What is your favourite state/province? Catalonia, of course ❤️

48. Favourite job you’ve ever had? Some years ago, I worked as an English teacher in an academy. It was a job that, in terms of personal development, was leading nowhere and I was also not being paid a lot, that’s why I eventually quit and went on to work at the school, which is my current one... but it was such a nice job. So fullfilling, with such nice work environment. I remember laughing SO MUCH every day! I still miss it, to this day❤️

49. How did you get your biggest scar? I was around 7-8 years old, and I was playing in the house with my sis. We were pretending to be frogs and jumping all around, and apparently at one point I jumped into a very pointy corner of one of those old computer tables (you know, the ones that have wheels so that you could move the computer from one room to the other), which caused a really big gash on the side of my upperbody. They stitched me, but it left a pretty big scar, unfortunatelly.

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? I tried to be kind and encouraging when answering to the kids who were sending me their assignments. I don’t know if that made them happy, but it definitely was my intention :)

I haven’t been able to keep track on who has already did these, so if anyone wants to do any of these memes, consider this your tag! 🥰

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

Last song:

Fav colour: black, red, gray.

Currently watching: what I watch with my mom is just stuff I’m rewatching, not important. What I’m reading on the other hand. Awesome stuff, highly recommend. “Homosexualities and French Literature” edited by George Stambolian & Elaine Marks (its blowing my mind tbh). Also enjoying The Portable Voltaire edited by Ben Ray Redman. The Iliad-Homer, Arthur Rimbaud complete works-translated by Paul Schmidt. and The Last Poet of the Village selected poems by Sergei Yesenin translated by Anton Yakovlev. OH, and if you need a laugh or lighter read, “Love Voltaire Us Apart-A Philosophers guide to relationships” by Julia Edelman is cracking me up almost as much as Voltaires stuff, himself! Dude is a hoot! High key crushing tbh.

Last movie: movie I watched alone:The Needle (80s Russian cult classic, it was really great! Good music and style.), rewatched the French cult classic with a Alain Delon 😍 Purple Noon with my mom but I thiiink more recent we watched The Tutor movie with Noah Schnapp. I highly recommend the first two, they’re free on YouTube!

Sweet/spicy/savory: depends on mood, I like vinegar/citrus bitter/tart things more often than most I think. That’s never an option though it is? It’s good for you, activates the digestive acid/fluid. Idk my fav I would say… sweet. But I often mix them, big fan of (vegan) chicken and waffles sort of things. Sausage (vegan) and syrup… love breakfast food!

Relationship status: reclusive bibliophile philosopher writer so…. Single, and perceived as a strange sphere of light. (But has a whole dark side few see.👀🫣😅🤣)

Current obsession: ugh… learning about Philosophy and linguistics mostly but loving the liberal arts and literature arts more specifically. Also Donna Tartt, obviously. Lol and TGF and TSH. OH, ALSO, Major Grom Plague Doctor (my gods, Sergei could get iiiit and Oleg) 👀🫣might have a fic in the works🤘🏻😈🫡

Last thing googled:

Currently working on: I mean what @dewy-eyed-decker said tbh. Lol (good luck with that!) but basically working on my fics in free time, working on my novel more though 😅🫡even though I def need to let out all this repressed stuff in fanfic so I ain’t gonna stop letting myself write like I had for a while. But also finishing up the books I’m reading. Also The Brother Karamazov, I put it down cause the religious stuff was gettin me in my head I think I should pick it back up, I miss Alexi, he’s such big mood and funny af.

Tags: @you-said-yes2205 @nnocres @elijah-loyal @fish-eyes-png @sparklygraves @narutobf @poprygunchik @liminalweirdo @buck-yyyy @jizzy-jazzy-jazzpur @usbotthrills

Feel no pressure at all, just want you all to know I care, I see you, appreciate you and your interest in my posts/blog, and would like to know more about you! Feel free to add to it even!

9 people you'd like to get to know better ♡

thank you for the tags @honeybrowne and @soft-persephone <333

last song: come june by mitch rowlanddddddd

favourite colour: black

currently watching: bones

last movie: barbie

currently reading: fanfiction as always lmao

sweet/spicy/savory: spicy

relationship status: 💍

current obsession: anything oscar issac, the bear fx

last thing i googled: english to galician translator (iykyk)

currently working on: enemies to lover with marc, summer blurbs, 4k/kinktober celebration, ch 4. of the bee & the bear

no pressure tags: @juneknight @marc-spectorr @campingwiththecharmings @missdictatorme @xbellaxcarolinax @cptn-nash @haylzcyon @pedrito-friskito @greg-montgomery @masterwords @lesbianhotch @hotch-girl @fightingdragonswithwho @whatthefishh @ivystoryweaver @flightlessangelwings

[cosmic-capri]

All these anons are making me want to grind on Tom's lap now what the hell he's so beautiful. And ugh, just imagine him holding your hips while you grind on him

I know ! I love you anons but yeah now there is not a moment of the day I’m not thirsting on Tom.

And grinding is the fucking best, and when they guide your moves by grabbing your hips, and you look down and see your partners light up face and lusty eyes.... UGh a dream. And omg Toms hands grabbing you, caressing you... a-fucking-men. I need iiiit !!!!