#UDD checklist

[eternallynamelessvoid]

Eeeee - Rambling about (maybe) being a system

Long post

Okay. I’m here to organize thoughts lol.

So, I MIGHT have OSDD-a. My logic for this is that it would explain the random as hell chatter, the mood shifts (and wanting to go by a different name sometimes) and never feeling ‘fully’ myself.

Reasons I MIGHT have OSDD-1a (or have a UDD)

1) the mood-changing shit, somebody says something and suddenly my mood is way, way different. (Ex; my friend started venting and I went from content to very apathetic. This is a regular occurrence, however it could be a mood disorder but I’d have to research that first)

2) voices in my head, although relatively rare, are very very weird. (SB makes funny dirty-jokes and is a flirt, and RBN is murderous and typically talks about violence.)

3) I have amnesia, but it’s incredibly random, and is more like dissociative amnesia (where I zone-out, then I dissociate, and then 5 hours have passed when I snap back. 90% of this is in school, where I’m on auto—pilot.)

4) Body dysmorphia. It’s not always there, but sometimes looking in a mirror feels like a stab to the heart.

5) The edge between daydreams and reality is very blurred. While this wouldn’t make me an OSDD system, it could (potentially) be me being a schizo-system. It’s akin to psychosis, and typically the rule is ‘believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.’ That quote. Aka I don’t trust my sight, hearing or smell and rely on touch.

6) Trauma. Although not enough to garner being a system, but ‘trauma is your reaction, not the event’ and that whole thing. (Which I’m trying to wrap my head around. I thought I was overly paranoid about males.)

7) I’m writing this (this isn’t an actual reason, just putting humor so I don’t fucking implode)

My argument against NOT having OSDD-1a is :

1) if I was a system, I probably would’ve noticed earlier instead of when I first started learning about them.

2) I’m very prone to thinking I have a mental disorder I do not because my brain is set on ‘being the most special’. (Aka, sometimes if I can’t fight it I self dx with no research so I can become special. Why? No fucking clue and if anybody knows how to fix it, thank you.)

3) I could be hallucinating, I do that because i feel lonely lots. (I am not an endo system. If anything this would make me a schizo-system. I got research that more actually-(I’m not strictly anti-endo, but a lot of them are in thin ice))

4) it’s so incredibly rare as a trauma response, it’s very unlikely I do not have it

5) Although I was traumatized, I highly doubt it was not that severe. (Although I cannot remember anything from the years 1-12, but this could be amnesia, memory blocking and other crap)

6) literally no. It’s so unlikely. So so unlikely.

7) I think SOMEBODY would notice, even if it was a minor thing.

[syllvarin]

Non-traumagenic plurality: How could it be possible?

First off, let's start with what some anti-endo folk mean versus what they don't mean with traumagenic plurality

They mean systems caused by/as a response to trauma and traumatic events, and those who are still affetced by them, aka systems who are disordered, DID/OSDD/UDD.

What they don't mean is systems who have trauma in their origin along with other causes. They do not believe a system can very well be traumagenic but function smoothlessly due to recovering, or have multiple origins.

Note: We are a diagnosed DID system with mixed (trauma/ramcoa/neuro/para) origins. Yes, we know what we are talking about. No, that doesn't mean we can't do mistakes, but we will try our best to be as accurate as possible. We will include scientific articles, DSM-5 DID checklist, and many more in this post.

How can that be possible?

1st: Brains are quite complicated. Research on brain functions is far from being complete, it is a long road that we are still at the very beginning of. We still don't know how brain exactly works let alone how it can form seperate conscious identities and work them together. We do know headmates exist based on brain MRI's ( link here ) That proves us that systems indeed, exist.

2nd point i want to make is that science is not done in a linear fashion. We are studying to be neuroscientists ourselves and the very core of what makes science doable is MONEY. Yes, in this capitalist system even the most seemingly basic research requires funding, money, and a goal that can be monetized to get done. Reseaches on female autonomy, rare disorders and "demonized" disorders such as DID is therefore not often as it is not easily capitalized and funded.

Therefore we do not have enough research to prove or disprove that the only way of becoming a system is through childhood.

And that brings me to my 3rd point, where we will take a look at what DSM-5 (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) says about diagnostic crietria of DID. We will see how it is a dissocative disorder, not a trauma disorder.

Found under dissociative disorders (not trauma disorders!), checklist for DID is as follows:

See how none of those checklist include trauma as checklist? Yes DID is commonly caused by trauma but not always. Yes it commonly is created during childhood but not always. Those arent in diagnostic criteria.

Definitive feature is not trauma, it is distinct personality states or experience of possession.

DID is associated with traumatic events, does not mean it requires it.

DID can manifest at almost any age (DSM-5 is saying that, folks)

What's more is OSDD doesnt even have a definitive checklist like DID. it is found under differential diagnosis, with other disorders. PDID (partial DID where one part is frontstuck a majority of the time) is also up to psychiatrist's evaluation rather than a concrete checklist.

4th point is : What about Structural Dissociaton Theory?

This theory is as it goes: The theory of Structural Dissociation works off of the assumption that everyone is born with different ego states that later merge in life. Those different ego states operate for different actions in life, that later integrate into one person during ages of 4-6. Trauma disrupts that integration and causes ANP (apparently normal parts) and EP (Emotional parts). EP's are stuck in the trauma while ANP's are not.

source: The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization" by Onno van der Hart, Ellert Nijenhuis, and Kathy Steele. 

Yes, theory. Theories are not concrete. They can be disapproved, they can change, they may not fit every experience. Structural dissociation only explains how DID can manifest at childhood, but we already know by now that DID can manifest at almost any age.

So I personally think basing everything on a theory about how DID might've been caused (which doesn't even perfectly explain every possible way) is not as fault-proof as one might think it is.

Point 5: experiences of "multiple identities" exist for so long into history (people who are possessed, talk to themselves, act weird at times, are very different at times, etc), way before any DID/OSDD terms were created. And actually, how can we know how many people in history have had this experience when the very society we are in is very scared of them? It is fair to say only the disruptive cases must've been noticed, and majority of them probably were either deemed as crazy or exorcised as they believed those people were possessed by spirits. Just because your experience does not fit with others and just because science hasnt done anything to back them up, doesn't mean people's lived experiences are false. Why would so many people tell that they are a system when they are not? We are not living in a place where being a system is happy or fun, we are not in a society where its profitable or anything. It literally gives a person zero + points for being plural if they arent. It would be a nonstop roleplay they have to keep up throughout every aspect of their life; and at that point, it must be either impossible or that person is already plural and not roleplaying when no one is looking at them.

Creating headmates is on the same basket. A person with DID can create headmates in blink of an eye (we know from oursleves) sometimes splitting threshold is so low you may split off multiple people at once. You cannot know what is going in a person's mind, and what mechanisms work for creating a headmate. If they claim they did, it is very much no chance they are faking being different people 24/7. It *is* a real chance that they actually did develop a headmate. If you do not believe them; ask them about their experiences. I am %100 positive that if you actually listen to them, you will see those people are only trying to live their life.

Also, if you think healthy systems cannot exist and only way to be a system is through dissociation and dysfunction; then why would DID systems try to heal anyway? Wouldn't that just be sanist and ableist to expect all of them to turn into singlets because healthy multiplicity isnt a thing?But no, it is a thing, and healthy multiplicity and recovery is possible for systems. DID and other disordered forms of plurality do indeed exist, and they are indeed, treatabe in multiple ways according to what a person feels comfortable with. That is also a system's right to heal however they please. They don't owe anyone their right to stay as plural or become a singlet.

6th point I want to make is about: Why do we even care?

If a person says they have multiple people in their head, why do we care and tell them they are faking? They are not claiming to have a diagnosis, even if they did; if their situation is causing a distress to them, then they ARE diagnosable and that therefore is none of our business, again.

Last point I want to make is how endogenic DID is possible. yes, possible. remember how trauma is not in diagnostic criteria and DID can happen at any age? If endogenic plurals can happen, they can also form DID at later in life. They can also become disordered due to an event in their life. They can lose harmony and become so dysfunctional they need professional help. That doesn't mean they are no longer endogenic or some other origin, that simply means their state is different than what it was and they need help.

End of our post. Thank you for reading.

[blackboxtheatrecrew]

I feel as though it would be more useful to label the divide between dissociative systems and non-dissociative systems as disordered/nondisordered rather than something like traumagenic/nontraumagenic or DID&OSDD/not DID&OSDD, because there are many disordered systems out there who don't use the label "traumagenic" (like myself) and many disordered systems out there that don't have DID or OSDD but have something like DDNOS or UDD, and its like, we're still here, with a mental condition that affects and maybe possibly built our plurality, and we can relate to and imo can belong in traumagenic spaces and all that, but that narrative is kinda left out because some people are so overfocused on these hyperspecific clinical labels.

You shouldn't have to go through a DSM checklist to get access to support groups. I swear sometimes the disordered systems community is more scrutinizing over who is and isn't a dissociative system than the psychiatrist who diagnosed me with DID. In fact? They definitely are.

Anyways, this wasn't meant to be a purely negative post, i'm just trying to say that (aside from a shared plural community for those who want it), the divide should be between disordered and nondisordered systems. Not everyone likes to define their system by their trauma, and not everyone conforms into the label of DID/OSDD, but they're still disordered and they still belong in a community of like-minded people who could understand and support them.

💣Mark

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