#U HAVE TO DO THE SAME FUCKING DUNGEON 5 TIMES. 5 TIMES

[llegato]

LORDDDDD IM GONNA MARCH OVER TO KOGGAMES AND MAKE THEM CHANGE THE 3RD CLASS QUESTS

[devilbombers]

Hhhhiiiiii!!! This is the same anon from the yuri ask!!! 1st thank u soo much for answering my question 💕 & 2nd PLS DO GO OFF about how u feel negatively towards yuri PLSSSSSS!!! *clutches on to your shoulders like a mad man* it's not that I don't want to feel bored with yuri I genuinely WISH I could find a good yuri series but it's sooo hard & at some point u do get kind of tired of digging through all the other garbage yuri series that's out there & when u do find a good yuri series it's either some obscure yuri series that nobody's ever heard of that came out in the 90s/00s or the series got canceled due to poor sales/the publishing company just didn't give a fuck about it in the 1st place. Which is y it ALWAYS grinds my gears when I c ppl b like "would u himejoshis stop bitching because your yuri series aren't as popular as the BL/yaoi genre, y don't u just make your own yuri series/write your own yuri fanfics 🙄" like BRUH WHAT DO U THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?!?!? Sorry I actually have standards for the media I consume & not consume the same uke & seme toxic yaoi skinny twink series for the 500 millionth time in a row

I could cry over how much i understand you. (you are right and you should say that abt bl) this world is too cruel. Real Himejoshis like us need to stick together 🤝 i can send you all 5 series i can think of thats actually good if youd like.

tyvm for indulging my manic frusturations. This is certainly gonna be a long post saurrrr ill have to put it under a read more lmao. You asked for it so the gloves are completely off with this one and i thought abt it again and i actually dont care if anyone thinks im wrong.

I've come to the sad realization yuri can only REALLY be categorized like the following:

#1: yuri that is boring

unfortunately the usual case with 90% of yuri especially with new series

usually plays upon overused tropes making everything abt it lack any uniqueness to it

it is such an epidemic its forced himejoshis to become resigned to accepting these things into their hearts and even pretending its the shit when really its just shit 😭

its hard to give examples bc this makes up almost all yuri i can think of

#2: Non-Existent yuri

A series with really gay girls but they dont ever explicitly say theyre in love.

ex. dungeon meshi

Most himejoshis will on in the hill of saying they love subtext but we all know and especially themselves know that isnt true

#3: Yuri that is unserious as fuck

Theres a lot of drama yuri out there but it is always so fucking unserious it just ends up being funny as fuck instead

ex. Onii-Sama E and my girlfriend isnt here today

quite often this type is also associated with erotic media. But theyre so goddamn unserious it dosent matter how sexy either of them are, it immediately makes them so unsexy the minute they start talking.

i would only say ive succumbed to believe i love this genre bc i love to laugh at it sm

#4: Yuri where one or sometimes BOTH of them are dead 💀

i literally dont care i hate the "bury your gays" trope so much. it just aggravates the shit out of me bc what is even the point anymore then

great example of this is Alien stage

personally i feel like the only yuri that can exist like this and is actually genuinely good is obviously PMMM (i will fight everyone on the planet over this IDC)

#5: side character yuri

sort of a popular trend. kind of goes hand in hand with non-existent yuri but personally i think they count as different entities sometimes

extremely minor plot points or concurrent small interactions between side characters thats kind of gay as shit

theyre either EXTREMELY GAY or just a little gay theres no inbetween (either way, people will lie one way or another to say its really good)

despite the fact this yuri is quite ephemeral or absolutely nothing some ppl will still call this media wholly yuri for whatever maniacal reason

#6: YURI THATS TOO FUCKING SHORT

Unfortunately the best type of yuri also happens to be too goddamn short (usually limited to oneshots, anthologies, manga series no more than 25 chapters)

All my favorite yuri happens to be like this and i always scream at god for making life like this

If i hate anything in this world its liars, so i probably hate other himejoshis very much bc i keep constantly reading suggestions people hype up on the internet and ultimately being disappointed every single time because its never as good or unique as anyone says.

Its easy to say i hate them but its probably pity. I pity my fellow man that i consistently watch them fall for yuri underneath a wooden box held up with a stick and rope.

With all this being realized; its hard to ignore the truth of it all when trying to get into yuri regardless of it. So ive finally decided to stop listening to literally anyone anymore and ive ultimately stopped seeking it out bc im tired lmao

[reilleclan-blog]

Sooooo I gave immortals of aveum a chance and first of all the actor that plays Jak was on a show called "Never have I ever" and at the time I didn't even think about it when I watched the show but that man is currently 33years old. And the person he was kissing and being "sexual" with in the show is currently 22years old..

And yes she obviously is at the age of consent I was just kinda appalled how it was a good idea for casting to have her kissing some guy 10 years older than her.... especially in a acting setting that seems like such a way to take advantage of someone younger b/c well most times younger ppl don't know any better. ("Never have I ever" was also released in 2020. So what she was 20 while he was 30 filming that shit... that's still freshly an adult but she's just casted for kissing a grown ass man. That feels so weird to me.

Maybe the casting was done b/c maybe ppl wouldn't have given the show a shot if he wasn't in it but 33 years old.. holy fuck. And I think he's playing a senior as well and Davy has a crush on him.. (I'm not saying ppl can't date age gap but TO ME it feels super weird to have someone freshly an adult kissing on a grown man while others are recording and u know it's more vulnerable for the woman that's young) I had a 37 year old woman interested in me and at the time I was like 23 and I was so creeped out why she would ever want to date someone that's close to the age of her son.. like please ppl please be careful out there. I've had older women try to take advantage of me sadly.

But yeah yes it's an acting job but like it's so easy for the younger person in these situations to be taken advantage of.

Ok that rant is over, time to talk about the game I mentioned in the beginning. So when I first saw this game I didn't think it was gonna be good cause so many "high end" games have been straight ass. And was I right ? Uhhh I got "Immortals" for free on PlayStation so yeah it was pretty ass. (If PlayStation is putting a game out for free that only been out a year then most times that mean it wasn't good)

The story so far is very very generic like "arcane legends" story telling except arcane is more interesting and ur character has a time skip(in immortals. Side note I'm not a big fan of arcane but I'm just comparing it with this goofy magic shit) sorry lol but yeah the magic in the game is literally like "here's blue magic, ur magic depends on ur strength if u have all colors tri something ur like really special" and surprise the main character has all 3 magic colors?

Aside from the story which wasn't the worst? It's just very boring it felt like what Skyrim felt like except in Skyrim it's more interesting and yeah.. the combat is shoot shoot and "here's some abilities" in the beginning of the game they have u run thru this underground city like showing off the world but all u do is press the jump button a couple times and hold square. To make it feel "traversed" but that's all it was lol. The characters from the beginning were interesting too bad they all (SPOILERS) die

Ok fast forward Jak trains for 5 years and uh yeah. Ur fighting in a war and that's it. I would've loved if the game gave u some sort of fist fighting combat cause ur character has a cool ass melee but that was it. Also I was trying to just play the game for what it was but the game was super choppy on ps5 and there wasn't a setting to change "performance mode" or anything like that. And while in the middle of the story the game crashed.

Uhhhh yeah while running around the game the shit just felt and looked like it was held or made by spit and glue anddd um but it was a quality spit and glue. It gave a feeling of "open world" for like 2 seconds but most areas looked the same almost like "dungeon levels" but even more bland?

Idk uhh I only put like 3-4hrs into the game the limited amount of settings was also super surprising to me. I couldn't even take off motion blur and that was hurting my eyes while the game's frames drop randomly ,can't feel good.

For what I've seen I don't think this game has anything left that's interesting. I think the side characters make up for the game being bland and combat being a bit stale but I got bored fighting wave after wave of enemies, so I had to turn the game off. IF U LIKE THE GAME IM ALL HAPPY FOR U this is just my experience. Please don't start crying cause someone from a corner of the internet doesn't agree with u. Uhh 4.4/10

wtf is 4.4 idk but that's what I'd rate this game id say a 5 but whatever(also why didn't I use images from the actual game I was talking about ? Idk i didn't want to ig and the immortals game sadly didn't have a photomode idk and the game's shit so whatever)

[malevolententity]

PROJECT 14!! I TOOK A BREAK FROM PATTERNING RICHAS!!

oh boy!! this took all of quarentena part 1 to make!! its been a few years since i made anything mesh so whipping up this hat in? what 5 and a half hours? maybe 6? i have not checked the vod time and i was also Cooking Dinner during a portion of it so time is hard to judge on how long this actually took. but it was fun! it Did reawaken my urge to crochet a mesh shirt even tho i would never wear it because it would be so uncomfortable. but making mesh is just so very mindless in a way thats good for me. maybe i should make a mesh blanket to scratch that itch.

we have an array of models for this item! to try and show off the mesh say hello to the bobby i made back in? oh the beginning of april i believe? i dont think any of you have actually seen bobby he might have been a twitter exclusive, say hi to bobby. we also have green garlic my bulbasaur showing off the mesh the best i believe!

QUARENTENA SEASON THOUGHTS! YES I AM CALLING IT A SEASON THERES GONNA BE 2 EPS. SEASON 1 ONLY HAD 3 EPS. THIS TOO CAN BE A SEASON!

i am blown away by how fun this group is and the skills they all have to roleplay in a second or third language for like 6 hours with basically no breaks to speak their natural languages. that is taxing to do and to deliver a story on top of that? i am so proud and impressed with all of them. also holy shit????????? no one fucking died???? i was convinced when the oneshot, now season, was announced that it was going to be a dungeon crawl that ends in everyone dying. i cant believe theyre all still alive after that?? AND THEN THERES ANOTHER EPISODE IRL NEXT WEEK?? i cant wait for the tpk next week!

i love this entire cast of characters theyre all such weird fucking guys in the most complimentary ways. I LOVE THAT WE BASICALLY GOT A SAW MOVIE??? THRIVING!! in a move that shall surprise no one. diego is my favorite. look at him. he is guy of all time to me. BUT OKAY THEYRE ALL WEIRD and usually when you have a cast of weirdos theres always someone who doesnt gel but they all did!! they all fought each other!!! but they all still complimented each others insanity and. this is what the party comp is To Me

i am too lazy to open photoshot for this tonight. maybe you get it proper tomorrow<3

i loved the ending. i loved the slow realization on everyones faces that in saving themselves they might be killing the world and still themselves!!!! also i cant wait to see the fall out next week. i am so fucking upset my dnd game is scheduled for around the same time so i am going to miss probably the first 2ish hours but i know my dash and the official!!!! twitter updates account!!! will catch me up on those two hours so i can jump back in. but AAAA oh i loved this. i dont know if it was on purpose that this felt like a zero escape game at times but oh man the production quality in this vs where m at in season 2 is just mind blowing. i knew it got better once they started being in the studio but this was so great for a home game. ALSO YALL GO CHECK ON AMY??? GO GET THE KID??? YOU CANT JUST LEAVE THE TRAUMATIZED BABY ALONE AFTER EVERYTHING U DID TO KEEP HER ALIVE??? GO GET HER?????

AND ALSO?? STUDIO NEXT WEEK?? BRAZIL MEETUP??? OH I AM SO PLEASED TO SEE IT ALL AND WHAT HAPPENS. this is def my longest update for this silly crochet project i started just a few months ago and i apologize but also. i dont because this show does mean so much more to me than i know how to put into words. and its been a long time since i fell in love with a tabletop universe this quickly. and i feel so grateful that i got to be introduced to this ttrpg earlier this year, and got to pull some friends into watching quarentena tonight because theyve heard me gushing about how good this universe is and how i trust this to be satisfying horror which is so hard to do in ttrpgs, but thats another post for another day.

[gorematchala]

I've been playing a ton of shit and not talking about it but

Star Ocean 2nd Story (PS1) is already one of my favorite RPGs just like First Departure R was. I'm kinda leaning toward not liking Claude but its probably because I'm playing as Rena so I'm not getting his internal monologue. But based on his intro in the 2nd Story R demo and how he's acting about Dias I'm like youre kinda a dumbass huh. But not in the lovable heroic way Roddick was. But I think its fine if he kinda sucks, there's room for that

Umihara Kawase is another game that is like instantly on my favorites of all time list. I'm on stage 5 and I'm like okay top 3 SNES game. Could be top 1 but Hebereke and Star Ocean are on there too hehe. But its like a physics based grapple platformer and its so cool. I need to go look at the new one again even though its kinda uggy

I bought Mushihime-sama because I'm still trying to expand my shmup horizons but I haven't been on my Switch much because I'm playing Star Ocean 2 and Pokemon Ruby but from the 2 seconds I played it was really good

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days, I'm giving so much leniency because I want to like Xion and I wanna experience her story. So far I've only done the tutorial with Axel and its a DS game so I dont expect much from it in terms of performance or visuals or whatever, its fine. My problem and why I'm having to exercise patience is that the writing of that series is so frustrating. The idea of that game is flawed. The whole thing exists to make the organization seem lamer. Like the mysterious shadow guys that were a big threat in chain of memories and 2, those guys all get together for meetings where xemnas assigns them busy work and they groan and complain about it even though i always forget theyre supposed to be emotionless. Vexen doing the Nagatoro crazy eyes all the time doesnt come off as hollow to me. It just makes me mad because its like FF7 where it could be great but a man named Tetsuya Nomura was handed a pen and paper and now we're here. But I will do it for her

I played 20 minutes of Izuna Legend of the Unemployed Ninja and I basically did the intro and then died to the 3rd enemy in the first floor of the dungeon but that game shouldve been more popular. It's really good but unfortunately it released on the same system as Pokémon Mystery Dungeon. Izuna sucks so bad I love her. The first thing she does is go to a shrine that says "this gem keeps the gods from being mad at us do not touch" and shes like hehehe all for meeee. Then the inn keeper is like I'm charging you 300x the rent till you fix this and shes like "we cant afford that, I will pay it... with my life" and she takes out a matchlock pistol and puts it to her head, and the inn lady is like yeah alright do it, and then you hear a click noise and Izuna is like damn out of bullets. I was like this is an insane way to introduce this character but shes my fail girl and we're gonna solve this curse together

The other fun thing has been playing Dark Souls 1 with my brother alongside his co-op playthrough of Smellden Ring with his partner, cuz DS1 is a good game and Smellden Ring is so bad that he has fully admitted I was right when i was bitching like a year ago or whatever. Cuz he took faith this time and now that theyve hit the wall of Mohg and Malenia hes like why the fuck is everything in this fucking game INT. And I'm like yeah dude, idk!!! But then like, we just did Sen's Fortress in DS1 and that place is so mean and fucked up but I was having a chill time just walking through all the traps and snake men and kicking my feets under the desk. DS1 is fully relaxing to me just like Bloodborne and most of DS3. Next time we play is O&S though so I'll get back 2 u on that statement

[idksheepthoughts]

Conversation I don’t understand

Starting off Context. We are discussing Hardcore World of Warcraft ruleset. There is a rule set built by the community that you have to follow to play the game mode and get a “validated” level 60 run. There is no Blizzard official servers as of yet. 

Ok so the acquaintance 

(A) starts off with asking me if I wanted to duo. "or full party?" 

 Me: mention only duo/trios are allowed. 

A: Well then by full I mean 3 

Me: Official servers I doubt will have grouping restrictions 

A: Although thats fucking stupid. Yeah official wont restrict it, coz its fucking dumb. 

Me: but under current rules you can't group unless you enter in a name for duo/trio at level 1 

A: Also yes I saw the rules 

Me:  i mean a full HC party would be able to just blast everything no challenge 

A:  the game is literally made with the idea around a full party playing the whole game. that was like the whole concept of mmos at the time. 

Me:  ehhh only for group content like elite quest and dungeons. I enjoy my solo gameplay while leveling tbh. the one thing i hate about the non grouping thing is for named mob tags 

A:  it was after that they were like oh this kinda sucks ass for solo players and slowly rebuilt the game around it.  it was made that way coz they thought people would be running in packs of 4-5 

Me: i mean they changed it later to just allow anyone who damages a mob gets credit. implementing that in HC official wouldn't be a terrible change. 

A: all im saying is that being like "full group too ez" is dumb. but so is banning bubble hearthing 

Me: but leave group petriflask ghetto hearth allowed 

 A:  liek yes its stupidly broken but its a mechanic of the game just grow up and dont play pally if u dont like it right 

Me: there is some rules that i find stupid as hell 

A: literally all of them are dumb as hell to me.  only one dungeon run allowed? (Spams ?????) 

 Me:  it makes it so you can't overgear shit 

A: overgear? 

 Me: you farm bis every level from every dungeon you overgear any other content 

A: yeah like the way the game was literally designed to be played lmao 

Me: then don't play hardcore Lmao 

A: its so dumb to be like no that makes it to easy. you still have to do the dungeon 

Me: you don't have to do any dungeons 

A: dungeons being the most dangerous places int eh game outside raids 

Me: i've seen people level entirely from quest and grinding.I personally just hate spamming the same dungeons over and over though. i'd rather quest.i did that on classic release with friends cause it was "meta" (dungeon spam).spamming dungeons makes me wanna drink, I hate it so much. 

 A: wot im saying is that it was an option that was put in from the start as a mechnic of the game and it makes no sense to ban or restrict its use. like you can still level to max as a mage in 4 days hardcore none of these rules stop that? (spams ???).  but dungeons make the content to easy? 

Me: man idk the fucking thought process behind everything 

A: this is why i am confused lol its just dumb and arbitrary and i want a full set for mydruid 

Me:  but if you dont' give a fuck about valid run do whatever you want. But people will stop grouping with you if you dont' follow the current rule set ya know. also at 60 you can run dungeons as many times as you want its only 1 dungeon while leveling.i personally don't find 1 dungeon while leveling that restrictive. 

A: then why are you saying they should add pvp at 60. by that logic you should just suck it up. 

Me:  because i think it would be fun? 

A: Like im just asking why its weird i didn't say anything about not playing? 

Me: official servers aren't gonna be able to enforce half the ruleset that is currently set in place. 

A: im not talking about not existant offical rules tho 

Me:  I mean if you want to spam dungeons. Thats fine. I don't personally care what people do. But under the current addon. It invalidates other people's runs. A: lmao i didn't say that 

Me: then what are you saying cause clearly im not following you 

A: i said the rules are weird and arbitrary but since you can't like read what im saying and you're getting super defensive forget the group. i dont care that its weird and arbitrary i just said it is weird and arbitrary. liek thats all i said. 

Me: the rules are weird and arbirtary agreed. some i don't agree with but thems the breaks -shrug- 

A:-eyerolls- 

 Me:  like they tweaked the rules after people that are like mods in the community already did it. Like getting the AV quest weapon and then after He did that he banned other people doing it. 

 I assume he left my stream after the eyeroll emoji...

[roserefrain]

here is the video game list and here is the ttrpg list! some are free, some are more expensive (nothing above $25), some are more well known, and some are more obscure! under the cut I’ll highlight a few of my favs from each and why I love them. (it got. Long)

for video games!

my biggest and most underrated picks for the video games folder are halope, lucah born of a dream, retrace, and the testimony of trixie glimmer smith.

halope- an rpg maker game where you play as an angel ! I’m being pandered to! it’s pwyw, and it’s not very long. it affected me a great deal, and I can’t say too much without spoiling stuff. just give it a shot and trust me.

lucah born of a dream- recently got a permanent price drop to $10! a hack and slash with a style like nothing else, and a story that completely made me rethink Art when they released part of it as a demo. look at the screenshots, if you like the art style, you’ll probably love it. if it seems like too much eye strain, maybe pass. (if you like it, it has a brand spanking new sequel!)

retrace- only $8! gay friend group gets in a Wacky Situation. read as: they keep fucking dying in a weird nightmare world. but the main character can rewind time and retain memories from previous runs. clearly inspired by zero escape, if that’s your jam you’ll love this.

the testimony of trixie glimmer smith- only $6! a series of horrible eldritch events happen at a university student mousegirl. it has a sanity system, but you have no way of seeing your own sanity level, meaning you get a lot of fun unreliable narrator stuff. has a sequel if you enjoy it, also has a game preceding it (sort of. it’s not required at all, but it’s free and short!)

for ttrpgs!

my biggest picks for the ttrpgs folder are yazeba’s bed and breakfast, songbirds 3e, dolls of theseus, time to drop, and heaven has no taste

yazeba’s bed and breakfast- one of the more expensive things at $25. a wonderful little slice of life ttrpg about the residents of a magical bed and breakfast, with 48 different “chapters” (essentially plot starters) to play through. it also allows you to change the b&b and the characters as you play in very interesting ways, and with so many chapters you have a lot of different tones to play with. also! mar julia did art for this game! the same mar julia who did the very first drawing of Florian and Aster! how bout that.

songbirds 3e- this is the big one. lit my Brain on fire. the pdf is free (note: download songbirds blue revised, not dungeon girls play test. that’s a different game that’s sharing its page) just. give it a look over. you’re a person who died but came back with strange powers, so now you go into the places that have died and come back strange. it juggles so many things so expertly, and it has something for everyone. it’s free, it’s a pdf to read, u have nothing to lose ! (I’m so normal about songbirds talk to me about songbirds I’ll be normal)

dolls of theseus- $5! you are combat automatons called dolls. each of your limbs has a trait, which you can swap out if you lose it and get a new one. discover who you are outside of a weapon, and who you’ll become as more and more of you is replaced.

time to drop- normally $8, but it’s only $4 as of posting this. I’ve got two words for ya bud. TIMELOOP. HEIST. I can’t sell it better than that. if you don’t think that sounds like a wonderful premise for a ttrpg you are wrong.

heaven has no taste- $10. you’re angels and demons who have abandoned heaven and hell in order to live and love on earth. I’m being pandered to !

“wow mar one or more of those sounds really cool but I do not have the money to try it out/don’t know if it’s for me!” some of these have community copies, which are free versions for those who can’t afford it currently. also, if it’s a ttrpg and u just wanna give it a quick look to see if it’s for you, I can send you some pages of it to get a vibe, or I can tell you a lot more about any of the games in either of the links.

would anyone perhaps be interested if i made some lists of itchio games i recommend (and probably ttrpgs as well)

[foilfreak]

4 Lords Raise Rose AU Ideas

Not a single person asked for this, but that other post where I talk about the 4 lords adopting Rose but still technically being terrible people got way more popular than I expected it to, so, with about 6 shots of tequila in my system and a terrible urge to spit my thoughts out for all the internet to see and judge, I’ve decided to make a follow up post. Here’s how I think the 4 lords would take care of Rose in the event they rebelled against Mother Miranda and decided to raise Rose as their own instead, but like under the cut after a little bit cuz i accidentally went way too fucking hard with this and I don’t want ppl to get mad at me for making them scroll for an hour to get past this post:

First and foremost, I think they’d do it in stages, and what I mean by this is that Rose would essentially be given to a specific Lord for some period of her life, like a couple years, and then when she was deemed old or strong or annoying enough, she’d be moved to a different lord for some period of time and so on and so forth. They would do this because a) they all live in different areas and have shit to do so it’s easier to have Rose live with one lord at a time and then the other lords can just go visit her there from time to time, rather than try to work out a weekly custody schedule which we all know Alcina and Karl would NEVER be able to agree on so let’s not even bother, and b) because each lord would have either some skill or set of knowledge that would make them the best for caring for Rose at that specific point in her life. This way, all the lords have a (somewhat) equal chance to be a part of Rose’s life and teach her something while she’s with them. So with all that in mind now, let’s get down to who would have Rose and at what point in her life.

1. Starting off with infant Rose, I think she’d end up with the Dimitrescu’s for the first few years of her life, and the reason why I think this is because... well, Alcina IS already a mother to 3 girls, and while we don’t know a terrible amount about Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela’s “upbringing” under Alcina, we can gleam and theorize from her notes that, despite their fully grown bodies, the girls could very well have started out with the mental and physical capabilities of infants, and thus needed to be cared for and brought up in a similar manner as infants or children until they reached a certain point where they could officially be considered adults in mentality and ability, not just in physical appearance. So with this in mind, it’s entirely possible that Alcina could have at least some vague idea of how to care for an infant child through her experiences with the bug sisters; perhaps there’s some gaps in her knowledge, but if nothing else I imagine Alcina would be an infant Rose’s best shot at surviving infancy if only because the other 3 are so incompetent on how to care for a baby that Alcina looks like an expert in comparison. Not to mention that, of the possible locations for an infant to be raised, I do genuinely think that castle Dimitrescu would be the safest place for Rose to be kept during this vulnerable part of her life. Not only that but if Alcina has actually come to care for Rose as though she were one of her own daughters, then she would absolutely spoil Rose rotten with all the nicest clothes and fanciest toys, things that a small infant wouldnt be able to appreciate but would show that she’s loved and cared for nonetheless, and don’t even get me started on the bug sisters, I could see them fawning over Rose for hours on end, playing with her, singing to her, telling her stories of all the man-things they’ve gotten to play with today, and so much more. Overall, Rose would just be the most spoiled and pampered little baby with the Dimitrescus and there’s no changing my mind about this. The only thing I’m struggling to wrap my head around is how they’d feed her, since I doubt a small infant would take very well to blood wine and human flesh. I suppose it wouldn’t be terribly outrageous for them to hire a wet nurse/nanny to care for Rose during the day while the other Dimitrescus go about their daily duties, and when Rose is finally old enough to be introduced to solid food (I.e. fried human flesh cubes) they could do what they always do and turn the nurse into wine too, I guess. It’s not a solid idea but it’s more plausible than anything else I thought of so it’ll work!

2. After spending about 3 years with the Dimitrescus, Rose would then be moved to the Beneviento house. Now, If u don’t know anything about 3 year olds, then you’re probably ignorant to the fact that they are some of the craftiest, sneakiest, and most coniving groups of people to exist on this planet. 3 year olds are masters at getting into and touching just about anything and everything u don’t want them to touch, and worst of all, u won’t realize what they’re doing until they’ve already done it and left a huge mess behind, so while the Dimitrescus love and adore Rose dearly, they know it’s sadly time to hand her over when they find her sitting on top of a pile of dead bodies playing with a metal scythe in the dungeons. Once Rose is dropped off at the Beneviento house, I imagine Donna is her usual stoic self the first few weeks Rose is with her. She’s not cold or distant necessarily, in fact she’s quite happy that it’s finally her turn with precious baby Rose, but Donna isn’t exactly known for being outwardly expressive herself (and even Angie isn’t being quite as forward as she normally is), so things are quiet and peaceful for the first little while that Rose is under her care. It’s not until Rose takes an interest in her doll Angie, and more importantly the things that Donna can do with Angie, that things really start getting fun. By the end of Rose’s first month in the Beneviento house she and Donna are the best of friends and often spend their days either playing dress up and make pretend with Donna’s extensive doll collection, or playing elaborate games of cat and mouse, where Donna will set up lots of puzzles throughout the house for Rose to find and solve (I.e. rose has to match her dress to the doll with the same one as her to find a map telling her which kitchen cabinet Donna hid the chocolate in, or something like that), but be careful little Rose, Angie has been trying to get her hands on that chocolate all day, and if u take too long, she’ll find the map first and eat all the chocolate without saving you a single piece. Just silly little puzzles with enough at stake to engage the mind of a curious 3 year old, but never enough to put rose in any actual danger. Donna is nothing if not a watchful caretaker, so she makes sure she has sight of Rose at all times, occasionally giving her a hint if she’s struggling, and perhaps occasionally making things harder if that day’s puzzle is proving too easy for her. Overall, Rose’s time with Donna, while not as grand and luxurious as the Dimitrescus, was still a fun and enriching experience for the young girl, and there’s nobody in this world who thinks that Donna’s scar is cool more than Rose.

3. After another 3 years with Donna, Rose is now 6 years old and officially far too good at puzzle solving for Donna to keep up with. No matter what she tries or how hard she makes it, Rose just keeps blazing through the puzzles at an almost alarming rate, making it clear that Rose is desperately in need of not only a change in scenery, but also a change in education, and this is where Salvatore finally comes in. After leaving the Beneviento house, I think the next logical place for Rose to stay would be with Salvatore, who, with lore hinting at him perhaps being a scholarly man of some kind, would basically act as her elementary school teacher throughout the duration of her stay. Now, to be fair, Rose could have gone to Heisenburg’s factory, but Heisenberg outright refused to take her and the other 3 lords decide that the factory is simply too dangerous for Rose rn, who thus far hasn’t shown any signs of being anything other than a normal human girl with no noticeable abilities (save for a smart mouth and a terrifying habit of popping up when least expected, a habit she mostly uses to mess with Heisenberg, much to his disdain and Lady Dimitrescu’s delight), so it is to the mutant fish man’s unimaginable delight that he is unanimously voted Roses next caretaker, and the one responsible for her basic education. Despite his initial excitement however, when Rose is finally dropped off at the windmills by Donna, Salvatore realizes that he’s not 100% sure what to do with Rose now that he has her. He’d like to get started on her education right away but at the same time he’s so fearful of Rose hating him because of his disgusting appearance that he kind of just... avoids her entirely at first. He’s never far away from the little girl and is always ready to jump to her rescue should she need it, but other than that Salvatore seldom allows himself to be seen for the first month that Rose is with him, the only sign of him still being around being the platefuls of food that mysteriously appear in Rose’s room 3 times a day, as well as the occasional shiny trinket Salvatore found and thought Rose would like. At first, rose doesn’t seem to mind being left entirely to her own devices, but after every stone, log, and rotting fish corpse within 5 miles of the lake has been turned over and thoroughly examined, Rose decides she’s had quite enough of her Uncle Sal ignoring her, prompting the headstrong little girl to go looking for him herself. She finds Salvatore hiding underneath a patch of floating algae not far away from where she was playing and all but demands that the mutant man come out of the water and give her something to do or she’d tell Mother on him. Salvatore, shocked by the small child’s fearlessly blunt request, hesitates, not wanting to frighten Rose, but ultimately relents, crawling out of the water and timidly suggesting that he teach her how to read and write. Rose quickly agrees, seeming totally unbothered by Salvatore’s grotesque appearance, and the two quickly move to the schoolroom that had been set up specifically for Rose, where Salvatore spends hours upon hours a day teaching Rose everything he knows, filling the little girl’s head up first with the basics, letters and words, then numbers and simple equations, followed later by historical dates and time periods, algebraic formulas, and classic literature analysis, then biology, chemistry, physics, astrology, calculus, ecology, and so much more. Basically, anything there is to know, Salvatore knows at least something about it and he’ll make sure that Rose knows about it too. In the 3 years Rose spends with Salvatore she goes from already sharp as a whip, to being smarter than most adults even, and Salvatore takes immense pride in how intelligent and knowledgable Rose becomes thanks to his surprisingly effective teaching style. Overall, as a caretaker, Salvatore is pretty weird and doubts himself a lot, but Rose thinks he’s funny and loves learning from him so they get along very well and she loves him very dearly! He probs teaches her to swim and fish too.

4. So another 3 years come and go with incredible speed, and its with great sadness on Salvatore’s part that Heisenberg finally comes banging on the fish man’s door, all but demanding that he now be given his turn with Rose. Now, personally, I can see several different arguments being raised by the other 3 lords over why its a terrible idea to let a 9 year old anywhere near Heisenberg, much less be given into his care fully. After about 9 years of seeing his siblings paling around with the constantly growing child, and looking like theyre having the time of their lives all the while, however, Karl decides that perhaps there’s more to this little girl than he originally thought, and, with his interest now piqued (or at the very least looking forward to pissing the other 3 off for entertainment purposes), that its only fair that he be given a turn with her now too, seeing as how he’s the only one who hasn’t been given the chance to be her caretaker yet. This naturally does NOT go over well with the other 3 lords. Alcina all but threatens to kill Karl should he step so much as within 10 ft of Rose, while Donna pipes up and demands to know what his sudden interest in Rose is. Even Salvatore, who is quick to flinch away from direct conflict, goes as far as to harshly point out the plethora of times Karl had outright denied their previous attempts to get him to engage with Rose, so why on earth would they hand her over to him now when he’s previously shown to have absolutely no interest in her? After a long spout of yelling between the 4 siblings, an agreement is reached, wherein Rose herself will be given the chance to decide whether she wants to go with Heisenberg, or whether she’ll return to one of the other 3 lords for the time being. It is to Alcina, Donna, and Salvatore’s absolute horror however, that Rose enthusiastically agrees to go with her Uncle Karl to live in his factory, and with the deal already set, the other lords can do nothing to stop her from going. The trip to drop off Rose at heisenberg’s factory is a long and arduous one, especially for Salvatore, who sobs the whole way there about Rose forgetting about him despite the young girl’s insistence that she’d visit. The first thing Karl does after officially having Rose handed over to him, is give her an extensive list of all the places in the factory in which she is under no circumstances permitted to enter without his permission (which basically only leaves the control room and the old storage closet that acts as her bedroom as viable places for Rose to go and explore). The second thing Karl does is dump her in her new storage closet bedroom and then hightail it for his workshop to work on whatever sick and twisted amalgamation he’s got cooked up this time around. At first, Rose isn’t terribly bothered by this, since she’s used to having something of an “adjustment period” when she’s with a new caretaker, but unfortunately for her, this adjustment period lasts a hell of a lot longer than the others did, and by the time 3 months of almost no meaningful contact with Karl, Rose decides to take matters into her own hands and ascends into the depths of the factory despite the express orders not to do so. Now, going back to the idea that the 4 lords are still pretty terrible people, I doubt Rose has been kept ignorant to the less savory aspects of her caretaker’s lives, and tbh she probably doesn’t think anything of the fact that the Dimitrescus makes wine out of the blood of virgin women or that Salvatore still does cadou experiments (and had her help on occasion), but I imagine even Rose would find the projects Karl works on to be at least a little

4, cont. gruesome and horrifying in nature, especially since Heisenberg is the one she knows the least about. However, instead of turning Rose away from Heisenberg, these terrifying metal creatures she sees locked up only spark her already insatiable curiosity, and by the time she finally tracks Karl down, Rose is all but trembling to learn more about this horrifyingly fascinating metal world. Unfortunately, Karl is not nearly as happy to see Rose as Rose is to see him, and the engineer all but grabs Rose by the scruff of her neck and drags her back up to the control room, yelling and screaming at her all the while about how she was explicitly instructed not to enter these parts of the factory without his permission. Needless to say that Rose does not enjoy this treatment and immediately lashes out, half out of anger and half out of confusion as to why Karl was treating her like this. He was the one who wanted her here in the first place, so why the hell was he just ignoring her now? It didn’t make any sense and it was starting to piss Rose off, so naturally the only thing left for her to do in order to solve this complicated situation would be to continue to disobey Karl until he either gave up and sent her back to one of the other lords, or finally payed some damn attention to her for once. So that’s exactly what she did. Every single day Rose left her room (which Karl kept telling himself he needed to put a lock on, but never did cuz he’s an idiot) and descended down into the depths of the factory looking for something ogle at or tinker with, and every single day Karl would track her down wherever she’d managed to get to and throw her back upstairs threatening to feed her to the lycans if she did it again. This incredibly frustrating cycle continued on for the better part of the next month or so, finally coming to a head when Rose managed to wander into the part of the factory where the... less than successful experiments got put whenever Karl doesn’t have any further use for them but is feeling too lazy to kill them off himself. Long story short, Rose runs into a Sturm that chases her around the factory, causing all manner of mayhem and destruction, and would have torn her to ribbons had it not been for Karl, who jumped in at the last second and was able to fend the damn thing off long enough for Rose to get the ever living fuck out and back up to the control room where it’s safe. There’s a lot of loud noises and explosions coming from deep within the factory that last for what feels like an eternity, but Rose doesn’t dare venture out again until everything has gone eerily quiet and a deep sense of worry has settled in the pit of her stomach over what had become of her latest caretaker. Turns out the Sturm had recognized its creator and, after watching its initial prey escape because of said creator, quickly decided that it fucking hated Karl with every fiber of its being and wanted him dead if it was the last thing it’s propellers did. Now, we all know that Karl is a big strong boy who’s more than capable of handling his own creations and taking down strong enemies, but the Sturm is a creation that even he struggles to control on good days and today is decidedly not a good day so not only does Karl not have the slightest bit of control over the death machine trying to kill him, but its also a lot stronger than Karl initially thought and apparently not picky about the method which causes Karl’s death, which is evidenced by the nearly dead Sturm ramming itself into a power generator as a final act of defiance and nearly blowing up the whole factory and everybody inside. Heisenberg is able to contain the explosion somehow but not without considerable damage to himself first. Rose is, naturally, quite horrified to find Karl passed out in the elevator that had taken him up from the lower levels of the factory where the explosion was, skin burnt nearly to a crisp in certain areas and blood pooling from just about every part of him, and immediately heads over to try and help her injured caretaker.

4, cont. again cuz I physically can’t stop myself. Now, I imagine that any normal 9 year old probably wouldnt be able to handle this sort of situation in any meaningful way, but i think we can all agree that Rose is the furthest thing from normal (especially considering who raised her) and has probably seen enough blood and gore to not be terribly freaked out by it, but this is where things get a little speculative because we don’t know what Rose’s powers are exactly but we do know from the final cutscene that she does have them, perhaps even a plethora of abilities, and I like to think that some of those powers are related to Ethan’s superhuman healing capabilities, but unlike Ethan however, who from what we’ve seen could only heal himself, Rose can actually heal other people (tho this isn’t something she’s aware of at this point in time). The second the elevator door opens to reveal, what looks to be, a half-dead Karl slumped over in the corner, Rose panics and runs to him, doing everything she can think of save for maybe grabbing him by the collar or slapping him across the face, to try and get Karl to wake up, except nothing works, he wont wake up no matter how hard Rose tries and i imagine this must be incredibly distressing for Rose who never intended for something like this to happen or for her caretaker to die because he had to protect her even tho he told her not to go down there because its dangerous and anything down there WOULD kill her if given the opportunity. Anyways Rose is now full on sobbing on top of Karl like only a 9 year old who just discovered that her actions have consequences can, but unbeknownst to her (and technically Karl cuz he’s a little busy bleeding out all over the floor) Karl’s wounds are slowly beginning to close, the burns on his face and hands shift from a bright red to a dark brown before crusting over and flaking off, and even his breathing, which had been labored and inconsistent at first, began to level out slightly. Karl woke up not long after that and was surprised to find that a) he was still alive, which was cool, b) he was injured but not in indescribable pain, also cool, and c) there was a literal sobbing child all but sitting on top of him, which is definitely not something Karl was expecting but he supposed he’s been met with worse things upon waking up after almost dying so why question it. After taking a moment to gather their bearings, the two return to the safer parts of the factory to rest and recover and for the most part this little incident of their’s goes largely unspoken, with Rose not exactly in the mood to talk about how her disobedience nearly got herself and Karl killed, and Karl being too fucking tired to go after her about it, especially since she seems to have learned her lesson. The only downside to this whole thing is that now Karl has a busted up fuckin leg thats gonna take an eternity to heal even for him, and with so much work to still do he’s more or less forced to drag Rose around the factory and use her like the annoying assistant he never wanted (except he did want her, thats how this whole fucking mess started, you lug), except that Rose, who is more than used to playing lab assistant from her time with Salvatore, quickly proves to be a rather capable and handy person to have around, if only because she knows the difference between a philips and a flathead screwdriver even better than he does. An amicable, if still slightly awkward peace settles over Heisenberg’s factory once Karl starts actively engaging with Rose and giving her something to do on a daily basis, even if its just standing around watching him work and occasionally having her questions about what he’s doing answered. It doesn’t take very long after that for Karl to begin realizing that perhaps throwing a huge tantrum to get Rose to come here only to ditch her upstairs by herself for 3 months might not have been the smartest (or most considerate) thing he’s ever done, and even goes as far as to (kinda) apologize to Rose for being such a dick to her since she arrived.

4, last one i swear. Rose forgives him, though not before adding that she already knew he was an asshole from Alcina, which earns her a halfhearted swipe from Karl that Rose easily dodges with a childish giggle. From that point on their relationship improves astronomically as Karl finally gives in and teaches Rose about about engineering and everything else that goes into making the metal horrors that he’s known for. Karl is shocked at how quickly Rose picks up on the trade, getting to the point where Karl wonders if he should start giving Rose her own projects to work on, but quickly rolls his eyes and groans when he remember that Salvatore was the one responsible for her education up until this point, the mere thought of having to give compliments to that “moronic freak” for giving Rose such a good educational foundation makes him want to vomit despite how secretly impressed he is. Overall, Rose’s time with Heisenberg starts out shaky, very shaky even, but after a bit of disaster and some swallowing of the pride on Karl’s part, they end up growing quite close and have a nice fun Uncle and martass Neice dynamic. They make a good team and Karl does genuinely enjoy having a little assistant around to help him with his projects, even if Rose can sound a bit too much like Alcina on some days for his liking.

5. 3 more years come and go and now Rose is a strong and healthy 12 years old, perhaps riddled with a few more scars and smearings of ash and motor oil across her skin than when she first arrived but still strong and capable nonetheless. Going back to that first statement however, this of course means that it’s time for the other 3 lords to come banging on Karl’s door for a change, all but demanding that Rose be handed back over to them. Karl of course refuses, telling them all to fuck off and that Rose didn’t want a leave the factory, so upon realization that all 4 lords were gathered here with the intention of taking Rose back to live with them indefinitely, a fight immediately breaks out between the 4 siblings, as each one makes their case as to why Rose should be returned to them and not the other 3, which of course none of the 4 lords can come to an agreement about because they ALL want Rose to stay with them. So after another long and pointlessly arduous argument, Alcina finally breaks, proclaiming that they’d be here for all eternity of they didn’t make a decision now, and that, like the first time the 4 siblings argued over whether Rose should go with Heisenberg or return to one of the previous lords, Rose would be the one to decide which of her four caretakers she would return to. The agreement is made reluctantly, mostly on the part of Salvatore, Donna, and Heisenberg, but there was seemingly no other way for them to come to a decision, so it would unfortunately have to be up to Rose to decide which of her 4 caretakers she wants to stay with permanently. Rose is quickly brought before the 4 lords and explained the situation, before being given some time to herself to think and make her final decision. A tense and uneasy silence falls over the 4 lords as they wait for the little girl, who they had shown an uncharacteristic amount of mercy and time and devotion and love in the 12 years since Mother Miranda had brought her to the village with the intention of using her to revive an already lost and long-gone baby that she never would have gotten back no matter how hard she tried. Although they refused to admit it to one another, the lords all secretly knew that Rose had wormed her way into each of their cold, dead hearts, reviving an aspect of their humanity that they’d all thought had been lost ages ago. Rose came to the village bringing with her a wave of death and destruction, and yet throughout her childhood she has brought them nothing but light and life, illuminating their previously dark and desolate existences. The 4 lords loved their Rose very dearly and desperately wanted her to be happy, yet each of them possesses a dark and selfish desire to have Rose pick them over the other 3, to come and live with them forever and fill the hole deep inside them that they never knew needed filling. After a short while, Rose comes back out and stands before her 4 beloved caretakers, looking around nervously as she picks at her fingernails. The silence is thick and heavy as the 4 lords stare at the young girl, waiting with bated breaths for her to give her final verdict. Rose continues to say nothing as tears begin to flow from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in thick streams as the girl begins to sob, dropping her head and clenching her dress. The 4 lords look between one another in confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden burst of tears. Rose tearfully admits that she can’t and doesn’t want to choose which of the 4 lords she wants to live with permanently because she loves them all very much and wants to be able to see and live with all of them, like they’ve done thus far. Although the lords detest the idea of having to share Rose with anyone, they reluctantly come to an agreement for the girl’s sake, deciding that they would continue with the arrangement they’ve had thus far, only that Rose would switch between caretakers every 3 months instead of every 3 years, giving rose plenty of opportunities to see each of her caretakers just like she wanted. From then on, Rose continues to live her life

5, cont. growing up and learning more and more from each of her beloved caretakers. Although Rose would likely never know what a normal life looks like, living with 4 criminally insane monsters in the remote mountain village in Romania, it would be impossible to say that she wouldn’t have a happy life despite that. Perhaps its because the girl simply doesn’t know any better, so she doesn’t have the ability to see just how messed up her life and her 4 caretakers really are, but i imagine that Rose probably wouldn’t care very much to learn even if she had the opportunity. She’s a happy little girl living a strange but enjoyable life with the only family she’ll ever need. What more could she possibly ask for?

6. As for how Mother Miranda would play into this whole scenario I’ve just drunkenly spat out, im honestly not 100% sure. Ive seen some people suggesting that MM just kinda chills and lets the lords do what they want with Rose, but tbh I honestly don’t see that happening in this universe. MM would still have been just as crazy and driven to get Eva back as she was in canon, so i doubt she’d willingly standby and let her “false children” take away her one shot of getting her real child back simply because they didn’t want to hurt her, i just don’t personally see that happening. The two most likely scenarios i can come up with is that the Lords either banded together and look Miranda on together, their combined forces being enough to take her down and kill her, OR, Ethan is the one to take down MM like he did in canon but he passes out before he can get to rose, giving the lords (who he hadn’t ended up killing but just escaping from i guess) the opportunity to slide in, grab rose, and hightail it out of there, leaving Ethan’s body to be retrieved by Chris, who, due to not seeing or hearing Rose anywhere, believes that Rose must have been accidentally killed along with MM, which he later tells to Ethan and Mia. Regardless of how MM gets taken out of the picture (or if she’s given room to potentially come back later), the 4 lords retreat with Rose and begin the whole cycle I explained up above, but i did want to briefly address how I saw MM fitting into all of this since she is a vital part of the original story and the biggest obstacle to the lords having anything to do with Rose.

Anyways, that was so much longer than I intended it to be but I had so much fun with it just because it gave me the opportunity to spit some fun ideas and potential plot points out about this cool AU that I like and hope someone does SOMETHING with, please god someone do it, I’d do it myself but i have enough projects at the moment unfortunately. If you managed to make it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed at least some parts of this, and maybe even agree with some of the things I said. Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments, I’d love to read them and hopefully if enough people like this maybe i will actually do something with it. Who knows? I certainly dont. Anyways thank you for reading all this, i hope you have a great day, and maybe ill see you around in another post. Bye!!! <3

[thegeminisage]

Hello, apropos of absolutely nothing except I’m on my third “top # Zelda dungeons” video. What are YOUR top favorite zelda dungeons. Any number u feel like doing whenever you feel bored enough to respond to an ask. I’m still thinking about mine. K hugzzz bye

Also if I’ve already asked you that before forgive me my brain is broken

NOOOO don't worry i fucking. LOVE THIS. here's a screenshot from my drafts where, only 5 minutes after seeing your ask, i had already feverishly started jotting down every truly standout dungeon i could think of:

anyway looking forward to answering this this really got me thru this week. i think i started out with almost 30 entries WHICH with tireless consideration i eventually narrowed down to get to my top 10. this WAS like picking children and it is so long!! i got carried away with this not-so-little write-up. absolutely no one is obligated to read all of this. i linked the dungeon music bc i am Like That

#10 - forsaken fortress (wind waker)

while the actual layout/design of this dungeon is already impressive, all of the zelda dungeons are impressive. what gets me about this one is two things. firstly, that you come back to this dungeon like...2 times after your initial attempt? right? like this is one of the only dungeons in the series that will KICK YOUR ASS and you just have to go back and get stronger and try again. it’s very much like...so in botw you can start off by attacking ganon straight away, and then suddenly it seems a little silly that link doesn’t do that every time? but he TRIED in ww and he got his ass beat. helmaroc king is an incredible boss for the same reasons, and it’s a perfect boss to head up this dungeon, it’s SO cinematic, it’s a repeated encounter and the eventual victory feels earned and a long time coming.

the other reason is that this dungeon made me, as a kid, wonder about link’s parents. ??? i know, but child minds. in my head i had this whole thing where like, if his grandma was taking care of him and aryll, then OBVIOUSLY their folks died at sea which is why she gets so upset when link leaves on a boat...in my head, the fortress somehow had something to do with it, like their boat was captured by ganondorf’s pirates or they sailed too close and got destroyed or they tried to loot the island only to find it full of monsters...idk, i liked the idea that ganondorf semi-unknowingly touched link’s life with tragedy and left a scar on his childhood way before they ever even knew about each other, because that’s the backstory in ocarina of time, right? link’s mom died in a war ganondorf started. so i think about it every time i do the dungeon. “maybe THIS is where link’s parents died, or here, or here,” etc. this is a super weird answer, and really ww is too happy of a game for those kind of thoughts, this is not even remotely based in any sort of canon, but there you go. ww isn’t my favorite of the mainline zeldas (it’s obviously still a fantastic fucking game but like if you’re ranking them subjectively something has to be at the bottom) but this dungeon is definitely one of my favorite things about it.

#9 - ancient cistern (skyward sword)

i feel like if this one doesn’t make a top 10 list there’s something wrong. a lot of skyward sword’s areas are oozing with atmosphere but for most people this is probably the most memorable one... (i have another lol but we’ll get to that later!) i LOOOOVE having two areas and a dark basement in sharp contrast to the peaceful and light upper areas. with a few exceptions (guardians, dead hands, redeads, wallmasters, those hands in the twilight palace, the soldiers in the silent realm, etc) zelda games usually aren’t truly frightening, but this dungeon is actually scary!!! even on the upper levels i get creeped out by thinking about what’s just beneath my feet. like, i am stressed the entire time i’m in there and that’s BEFORE the whole climbing section. speaking of - i know quantic dream games are garbage, but i always liked how physical they were in frantic moments. having to so something physically vigorous like shake the controller to get away really adds something special to that bit, which is already a pretty standout moment in the series

#8 - stone tower temple (majora's mask)

the MECHANICS of this one! the style! the finality! in a game ABOUT finality! the theme of death in a game about death! where do i even start! ok, so this is the final regular dungeon for MM and it feels like a good place to learn or perhaps just ponder about the world we found ourselves in, a little history re: the people who used to worship majora’s mask, etc etc. and i really love final dungeons for that purpose, the purpose of exposition. but then! not only do we have to lug around four veritable corpses (the statues) up that giant tower to even get in, we also turn the dungeon UPSIDE DOWN...how fucking cool is that!!! i watched a dungeon analysis video recently that posited the temple was sort of like the tower of babel, something built to reach up to...the heavens? the moon? but when you turn it upside down, it leads down into hell (where the boss is), not unlike the cistern actually. i tend to favor final dungeons because they tend to pull epic stunts like that. like god damn

#7 - snowpeak ruins (twilight princess)

tbh i think twilight princess has the best dungeons in the entire series...there’s no one single dungeon in that game that is not an absolute banger (hurriedly throwing a blanket over the lakebed temple) not ONE, but if this whole list was just tp dungeons that isn’t fair. anyway, this one literally ALWAYS makes me want pumpkin soup even though i don’t really like the taste of pumpkin...it’s so cool to have a dungeon thats like. a house??? fortress????? and the boss is so surprising and scary!! not to mention the boss theme is my favorite from twilight princess. it’s just such a solid entry into the series of dungeons in an already-packed game. amazing

#6 - shadow temple (ocarina of time)

it’s so hard to pick when it comes to ocarina dungeons, but for purposes of exposition this has gotta be It for me. i actually would have loved if the spirit temple had revealed more of the gerudo history in the way that this dungeon, thru little more than environmental storytelling, shows us a side of hyrule and the sheikah that we didn’t ever think we’d see, but this is the one that actually pulls it off. and it’s scary!! dead hands and wallmasters and redeads are all some of the staple enemies in the series that actually scare people and i get scared every time i come in here. i mean there are ACTUAL TORTURE DEVICES. WE WALK ON PILES OF BONES. THIS GAME IS RATED E FOR EVERYONE?? idk what to say about the shadow temple that hasn;’t been said already but my little teenage goth ass loved it and i still love it today.

#5 - temple of time (twilight princess)

NOSTALGIAAAAA. CATHARSIIIISSS. i feel like so much of tp relies on us being nostalgic for oot, it’s basically a spiritual remake, and even though i’ve played tp thru more times than any other game except oot (on BOTH consoles...i’ve yet to do the wii u version) i feel like it’s valid to say it was boring because we had seen this before. except we HAVEN’T seen this before!!! there was no “light dungeon” in ocarina. there was supposed to be and they had to cut it. so to like, go back, and see it in these updated graphics, to put the sword back in the stone one more time, and then ALSO get to finally complete the dungeon after, what, almost a decade? so fucking good. the boss was even another version of queen gohma, which was even better because as kids my brother and i were literally so scared of her we had to get a grown-up to beat her for us. and now, with the updated graphics, the spider was very scary again. absolutely wonderful thing to relive <3

#4 - hyrule castle (twilight princess)

ok, as final dungeons go, it doesn’t get much better than this. hyrule castle’s theme slowy being overtaken by ganondorf’s theme, getting to hear that moblin guy talk, your friends coming to your aid as you brave the trek up the tower, and OH YEAH the fucking. dead soldiers pointing your way to the bad guy. this one really evoked a lot of the feelings and memories from scaling ganondorf’s tower in ocarina of time, which it was supposed to do, and felt like what that might have been if they’d had more power in the game engine, you know? the further up you go, the more it feels like you’re REALLY carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. i mean the DEAD SOLDIERS.

and the BOSS. it sucked that ganondorf came out of nowhere in tp but possessed zelda and everything was SUCH a nice touch. the end of the game was so good and dramatic, down to the rain-and-lightning fight in the field at the end. WHAT a finish.

#3 - a tie between vah ruta & vah medoh (breath of the wild)

ok, i’m cheating on this one a little because aesthetic-wise the divine beasts are all pretty similar and i really just could not choose. when i first started playing botw and i heard that the champions piloted giant beasts i kind of thought it was funny, like what, like jaegers? like pacific rim? uhhh no. so like most people i hit ruta first, and man, that was the end of the pacrim jokes. when i truly finally comprehended how BIG it was. like. that it is both divine and beastly and also the size of a fucking skyscraper!!!

the reason i’m picking two is bc vah ruta was my first divine beast, and i think the music in that one is the MOST foreboding, and musically made me really understand that like. these things are ALIVE. like we’ve been inside trees and giant fish but these things are alive in a way that’s different from that, they are quite cognizant of everything happening inside them in a way that is different from how a fish doesn’t know what’s happening in its stomach, and the sos signals speak to a deep distress of the beast or the pilot or both...and like, not only are they alive, but they are ACTIVELY BEING POSSESSED. i mean mipha’s goddamn CORPSE is sitting in that closed-up bulb and her spirit is running around in the circuits and the beast has no choice but to obey the blight. it’s like a zombie from, the last of us except it’s HUGE. i thought vah medoh was a flying island for half of my file bc i could see it from that far away.

and speaking of vah medoh, it’s the dungeon that like...i think it moves the most, you feel it the most when you move it around. the music is also very frantic and melodic rather than atmospheric, and if it wasn’t so easy puzzle-wise it’d have a final dungeon feel - and it WAS my final dungeon, in both playthrus, revali is the most prickly of all the champions, so it feels fitting. so for that reason it’s hard to decide between the two! i know opinions are very mixed on the way botw handled dungeons, and i have some mixed feelings too, but you can’t deny the divine beasts had STYLE and they were so fucking impactful in a way that dungeons rarely are - i reiterate, they are ALIVE and POSSESSED and you have to free them from their own bodies - idk man, it’s just so fucking good.

#2 - lanayru desert (skyward sword)

i’m cheating a little bit on this one too. skyward sword’s overworld is very linear and full of puzzles, very dungeon-like, so i’m gonna call the section of the overworld that comprises lanayru desert a dungeon. it’s really not! but like, as much as i love the sandship and the mining facility, they don’t come close to capturing the same atmosphere as the path leading up to them. and it’s not an overworld list! it’s a dungeon list! so if we have to go with a dungeon, i’d say the sand ship, for the same reasons that i love the overworld. the way it shifts between past and present, the incredible atmosphere, and the feeling of something that used to be thriving and alive now being abandoned and dead. like, my favorite section of the entire game is probably riding around on a sea of sand except your one little circle of history in which there is water. the fact that like, you can see all these broken down robots and machines and see them come back to life...it’s like the part in phantom of the opera where the film switches to color. you know??? it’s fucking incredible.  

#1 - ganondorf's tower (ocarina of time)

this is IT, babey! number one dungeon of all time from the number one game of all time. the main lower part of the dungeon itself is pretty cool - because it’s like a victory lap of the main dungeon mechanics, plus you get one last parting word with all your quasi-dead sage friends - but i think where it really starts to shine is the spiral staircase up to the final fight. the rich red carpet, the stained glass windows, the boss rush of monsters, and all the while the organ getting louder and louder because the KING of all evil is just chilling up there and DARING you to come try it...hello??

ALSO. the fact that this dungeon self-destructs! and this is, i think, one of the only dungeons if not THE only dungeon that does! like he dead ass brings the whole damn thing down around you. i love fleeing with zelda here even though it’s technically 1. timed 2. an escort mission which should make me hate it, just because it’s so unexpected. you think the game is over and there’s MORE GAME. these days it’s not as surprising but in my child mind i could Not believe they did that. and then there’s ANOTHER BOSS. not only that the other boss TAKES YOUR SWORD. you have to FIGHT A GUY in the SWING YOUR SWORD GAME with i repeat NO SWORD in the ruins of the SELF-DESTRUCTING DUNGEON. like. hello???? best best best number one dungeon EVER!!! IN CONCLUSION:

^ text from my brother from a few weeks ago explaining it perfectly

and, finally, honorable mentions for northern face shrine (link's awakening) and dark hyrule castle (minish cap), for being the extremely foreboding place where you find out link will destroy the island and for being a truly sinister fucking version of the normal hyrule castle with STONE PEOPLE INSIDE respectively. both have really great atmospheres and INCREDIBLE background music even if i don’t remember much about the gameplay mechanics specifically and it was hard to leave them off this list!!!

anyway, tysm for sending this to me, it was such a fun thing to answer 😭 i wish i could be a cool zelda youtuber but i’m happy enough to do my little not-so-cool tumblr posts <3

[scmsdivinecultists]

What your fave SCM god says about you

I read one psychology article and now I’m all knowing. Hope at least one of these points apply to you simps

If your favourite is Leon, you are one of the following:

Youngest child

Outcast or the “popular” kid

Daddy issues

Your childhood dream was either to be royalty or be rich

You hyperfixate to many things

You might say ur not charismatic but you’ve had at least more than 1 person you rejected a love confession to

“You’re wrong, I’m right, shut up.”

You don’t fall in love easily but once you do, you fall hard

You like smug bastards or you have a bondage fantasy

Your favourite voltage game is one of the following: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, Court of Darkness, Masquerade’s Kiss, or Kings of Paradise

You have fairy lights in your room filled with pictures or posters

You had a massive friend group but at least 5 people have left from then to now

You cling onto memories like they’re a lifeline

You have the latest phone or more than 3 leisure electronics

If your favourite is Scorpio:

You can’t be any taller than 5′6

You probably listen to bands and can’t go anywhere without your headphones

Really creative

Your favourite Shakespeare play was Hamlet or Macbeth

Have had or is going through an emo phase

Hates writing essays

Have 3 best friends max

You have definitely bought albums, posters, or merch of your faves

ur probably a weeb

you’ve broken a bone or you’re very knowledgeable in the medical field/how to harm the human body for some reason

dark humour is the best humour

Your friends are very concerned for you because of said humour

You like watching people play Monopoly bc of the chaos

into so many fandoms that you know the lore of your faves more than you know the material you learn at school

If your favourite is Teorus:

You are an only or youngest child

Spoiled

Daddy/Mommy issues

Abandonment issues

You feel like you fade into the background/don’t contribute much to the group

You feel like you are often forgotten

You’re close with your cousins

You probably have a pet

Taylor Swift or 1D for life

Have definitely threatened to kill or beat someone up despite you intimidating no one

You want to play an important role but you are so not the leader type

You like Ouran Host Club

You like the outdoors

You probably like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

Your favourite disney princess is Rapunzel or Cinderella

If your favourite is Huedhaut:

You are definitely a romantic

You’re not an air sign (Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra)

You’re a moron or you make bad decisions and Hue is there to help balance that out

Chances are you read more fanfic than actual books

Your system is 70% caffeine

For some reason you have lots of random trivia

Have you considered therapy for your suppressed trauma?

Dungeons and Dragons fan

You’re really into alcohol or you despise it

Loyalty is the trait you admire most

You want to feel like a sassy and classy bitch but you gave up after 2 days

Your favourite ship trope is enemies to lovers or slow burn

A lot of pent up angst but you hide it 

you put other people > yourself bc you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did

Why do you have so many memes saved?

Why do you have reaction pictures for everything?

If your favourite is Dui:

You’re probably not into guys

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Either you’re a precious sunshine child or you are the most fucked up human in your friend circle

You have a choking kink

You either take sides in fights or you’re the middle ground

You make lots of threats but no one is acc taking them seriously

You probably are a massive manipulator

You’re psychotic and have violent tendencies 

Your best friend lives far away from you/ you have an internet friend that gets you more than your IRL ones

You say honesty is the best policy but you lie the most

Everyone comes to you for advice but you think you’re the most mentally unstable

You have identity issues and u change ur mind all the time 

Whatever you were as a kid, you’re probably the opposite of that now

If your favourite is Ichthys:

You are attached to the characters with the most trauma

You must not be a clean freak or your room is equally as messy as Ikky’s

Oldest or middle child (either way u have siblings) 

Never got to go to an amusement park as a kid 

Want attention/didn't get enough attention as a kid

You want Ichthys’ parents to adopt u bc they are the family stability you crave

Unresolved trauma and definitely not mentally stable 

You liked dinosaurs as a kid

You had pet fish as a kid and they all died bc you overfed them

Using anything else to escape ur reality 

Cartoons > real life actors

Probably hate seafood or afraid of the sea (ironic as it is)

Nostalgia is your best friend

Hurt/Comfort is your favourite AO3 tag

You collect random shit or you have a memory box

You are the reason child leashes were invented

You got into real dangerous situations as a kid and you’re wondering how you lived through that

Your comfort characters all got it the worst or are dead

If your favourite is Zyglavis:

How are those high expectations treatin ya? 

You either want to get into medical, sciences, or law

When you were younger you got enrolled in extra classes (swimming, piano, ballet, etc)

Your parents encouraged creativity until you got older and they told you to choose a more “realistic” goal

Good grades = everything and you’ll pull all-nighters to finish tasks or assignments

Former gifted student 

The actual smart kid in class 

YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE ISSUES

80s are not good enough for you or your parents

Overachiever for any reason 

Sleep? What is sleep?

A dom or a brat

You have strict parents or you have had pretty loose rules growing up

You had a lot of friends in grade school and now you have like 4 friends

You are no longer human, you’re just a walking husk of stress

If your favourite is Krioff:

You want to fuck one of Krioff’s family members

You have siblings

A pyromaniac or deathly afraid of fire

Commitment issues

You watch or ur a sports fan

You own an iPhone 6

You’ve ate forbidden items or you’ve thought about it (the fish tank pebbles, erasers, glass, slime, etc)

Everyone thinks you’re the awkward kid but no you’re just shy

You actually like the ocean waves

Once people get to know you, they got a whole thing coming for them

You either suck at driving or can’t drive

A great listener but you don’t feel like you give good advice

Conflict is a no no for you

You definitely had a glow up

You’ve befriended the seniors growing up

You either don’t like kids or you love them

You have a sweet tooth and everyone questions how you are not diabetic with the amount of sweets you’ve consumed

If your favourite is Aigonorus:

You’re either an insomniac or a hypersomniac. Whichever one, you don’t know how much sleep is enough sleep

You’re probably a sub

Commitment or abandonment issues

Desperate for validation and appreciation

touch/love/attention starved

You have a stuffed animal collection or you still have those childhood stuffed animals

You love the idea of love but you are not ready to deal with breakups

You wish you didn’t care but you care too much

Your aesthetic is cutecore

Probably into maid cat boys

Studio Ghibli or Sanrio stan

Comfort > style anyday

You only own sneakers nothing else

If your favourite is Partheno:

You’re definitely not into just guys 

You’re a drama kid and you are here for the tea whether it involves you or not

you have the receipts for everything

You were the one kid that played “family” or “house” every recess

no one knows where you get all your cute shit but it serves

have been suspected of witchcraft or considered the dark arts

Stole makeup from your fam as a kid and played with it

HIDE THE TRAUMA. HIDE THE PAST.

You already have a senior quote picked out

You’re either really horny or you just want to cry over how much you love so and so

“Why do men-”

You really want to own that Partheno doll in that one CG

Your most used social media app is Instagram or Snapchat

Your favourite demon brother from Obey Me is most likely Asmodeus 

If your favourite is Tauxolouve:

Your favourite KBTBB guy is either Baba or Mamo

You’re into music or theatre

Your ideal date is to go to an opera or a museum

You say you like/dislike something but end up changing ur mind later or when you try it out

In your opinion, the music nowadays is just not it

You recently found a receipt from Walmart for something you bought 5 months ago

Anniversaries are important

When making decisions, you pick the worst possible one

Your most expensive clothing items are your shoes or jewelry

You wish you could attend a ball and marry into royalty, like Cinderella

You like the idea of soulmates or string of fate 

Obviously or secretly insecure/self deprecating but you’ll raise all hell if your loved ones talk shit abt themselves

You want your partner to propose first

You like the underrated characters or your favourite characters are unappreciated

If your favourite is Karno you are:

You have childhood trauma, some of you are just not aware of it

You’re the parent of the group

You enjoy ships that have a mom/dad dynamic

Either you’re banned from the kitchen or you’re the one banning people from the kitchen

You were threated with the slipper or you threaten with the slipper

As a kid, you enjoyed Dora or Ni Hao Kai Lan

Your favourite trope is the found family trope

Either you’re an example to your family or you keep getting compared to other kids

An angel around the family but a chaotic bastard with others

You’re probably into some really kinky shit

You like Dangonronpa

Spiritual or religious

Probably had an imaginary friend 

You decided you were gonna turn your life around after reading/watching something and went back to the hot mess you were in 3 days

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

[gayoperatorgunclub]

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME: MontaDoc Edition? Pretty please? Or any MontaDoc content. I crave it. Much 💕

of course!!!!!!! sorry this has taken so long, but i sincerely hope you enjoy it!!! 💝💝💝

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - for fucking EVER!!!!!! 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - two words: mutual. pining. this period, often referred to as the “Beginning of Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. (Temporary Employment As Masters of Dad And Dad Sweethearts)” however, unbeknownst to anybody else in rainbow, by the time Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. had begun, gustave and gilles had already been together for a couple of years. how did they actually get together? about six months after the GIGN joined rainbow, gustave was in the middle of a mountain of paperwork when he heard someone clear their throat. he spun around to scold whoever it was for coming to medbay when they were sick (despite the fact that he was coming down with a nasty cold), only to be greeted with gilles leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe. “gustave. you look as though you’re about to meet death for dinner. how can you expect to take care of others when you’re not taking care of yourself?” gustave just sighed and shook his head, muttering something about leaving him be for another couple hours so he could finish his paperwork, but gilles has other ideas. in mere moments, gustave goes from standing over his desk, organizing some files, to being held in gilles’ big strong arms. “wh- gilles! i-” he was cut off by his own yawn, and gilles smiled at him fondly. gustave felt himself blush, and he squirmed a little, but let gilles carry him to the GIGN quarters. as soon as it seemed like gilles was going to leave, gustave pulled him down for a kiss, then pushed their foreheads together and whispered “you’re going to carry me all this way and not even stay to make sure i don’t go back to my office?” gilles just grinned at him, climbing into bed beside him and wrapping his arms around him. 

How was their first kiss? - ROMANTIQUE! and smelling of sickness but what can you do

Wedding:

Who proposed? - monty!! he decided to cook a romantic candlelit dinner at their apartment, and when he sees gustave come home from work, all ragged and exhausted, yet still with a glimmer of determination and subtle joy, he says the first thing that comes to mind: “will you marry me?” gustave froze, his cheeks still rosy and his hair sprinkled with snowflakes. “will i what?” gilles realized his mistake and flushed, stammering a response before gustave was standing in front of him, staring at him scrutinizingly. “gilles.” he started, reaching to intertwine their hands, bring them between their chests, “what did you say?” gilles gulped, then steeled himself and got down on one knee. “gustave kateb. love of my life, light of my days. the man i want to wake up next to every day for the rest of my life. the man who i adore with every fiber of my being. would you do me the honor of being my husband?” 

Who is the best man/men? - for monty: bandit! for doc: lion (everyone but them thought it was a joke until the day of the wedding). dominic and olivier’s dual best man speech is the stuff of legends. there were tears, there was laughter, and there was an almost excessive amount of thinly-veiled sexual innuendos at various people in attendance (including both grooms; the best men were both drunk of their asses) 

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - they actually fight over who gets to pick twitch! meanwhile rook is in the background like D: (don’t worry, it’s decided that he and twitch will be ring bearer and flower girl respectively) for monty: dokkaebi. for doc: finka 

Who did the most planning? - they both did! though gustave focused on food and flowers, and gilles focused on the guest list and the venue (but they ran things by each other before any final decisions were made)

Who stressed the most? - gilles! he was so worried about their families not getting along that he actually prepared a “leave my husband and his family alone or so help me i will never speak to you again” speech

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - gilles’ racist, homophobic, french nationalist uncle (no one in the family likes him, so it wasn’t a big loss) (this uncle also made a surprise appearance at the family dinner where gilles introduced gustave to the rest of his family, and started yelling about “godamn immigrants” and other such bigotted statements, before gilles’ sister physically dragged him out of the house and threw him out the door. afterwards, up in the guest bedroom, gilles quietly tells gustave that it’s okay if he wants to leave, or break up, or anything, and gustave just laughs and tells him that if he wasn’t prepared for family members to express their distaste, he wouldn’t be dating a white man. he pressed a kiss to gilles’ temple, before whispering “although, he was right about my being an immigrant; it’s just that i was born in Paris and immigrated with my family to algeria, not the other way around. A for effort, though”)

Sex:

Who is on top? - gilles!!!! although gustave will occassionally ride him 👀👀👀

Who is the one to instigate things? - gustave is lowkey horny 24/7, but if gilles walks in on him bending over to get something from a cabinet, or tilting his head all the way back while drinking from his water bottle, thereby showcasing the way his throat moves as he swallows, he will lose his shit 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - okay i’m gonna change this one to an explanation of some things from below. i personally think doc lowkey a freak, and gilles is happy to oblige him if that’s what his lapin wants (although he’s not entirely sure how he feels about this “overstimulation” and “post-orgasm torture” and “cock & ball torture” stuff. specifically, he’s not sure he likes hurting gustave, but, while he probably won’t admit it out loud, he secretly adores making gustave cry. when he’s so helpless and powerless and mindless, and he’s begging for something, but for what he doesn’t really know. maybe it’s the knowledge that gilles is in complete control, that gustave trusts him to do this, to make him hurt and cry and just melt, the knowlege that gustave is completely reliant on him for his pleasure, his pain, and everything in between. it’s a heady thing, and gilles isn’t sure how he feels about it, but he’s pretty sure the warmth in his chest and the warmth in his gut are good signs 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - unless they’re doing some of the things mentioned above, or mayhaps some denial 👀👀👀 then yeah, everyone gets the same. they’re very considerate when they’re just doing vanilla 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: btw, the rest of this is kinda set in a post-retirement au (idrk i just want them to have a farm and be peaceful). give it whatever context u want tho, i was just havin fun

How many children will they have? - they will have four cats and a dog, as well as 2 horses, a donkey, 5 cows, an alpaca, a rabbit, some ducks, a flock of sheep and goats, and the occasional visit from a herd of deer from the forest surrounding their little farm

How many children will they adopt? - since humans CANNOT, i repeat, CANNOT, give birth to the animals listed above, they’re all adopted

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - no one. the animals potty train themselves

Who is the stricter parent? - gilles sneaks them treats while gustave lectures them about dietary habits, so take your pick 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - whenever gilles leaves to run errands, one of the goats goes into a depression so deep and miserable that they’re utterly inconsolable until he comes back. once they hear the sound of the car in the driveway, this lil goat, lovingly named “Bastard” by gustave, will climb onto the roof of the house and scream his joy over gilles’ return to the heavens 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - they tag team on things like feeding the animals and cleaning out the barn, but gustave is much more organized about it

Who is the more loved parent? - the cats, dog, one of the horses, donkey, alpaca, rabbit, goats (except for Bastard), and deer all prefer gustave, though gilles is adequate in the event that gustave is busy with something else (although the alpaca and donkey hate his guts, and will escape their pastures to break into the house and be near gustave. gilles maintains that they’re both devil-spawn, but gustave says he’s just being dramatic and that Thamin (alpaca) and Albalatin (donkey) are complete angels who could do no wrong)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - animals have NOT unionized. yet. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - idk if this counts, but when Bastard finally figured out how to get himself down from the roof after getting himself onto it, gilles cried for an hour

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - gilles lowkey does whenever thamin and albalatin escape to go out into the world and commit crimes, but only to make sure his husband doesn’t get upset when he finds out his precious creatures are hell beasts. certainly not out of anything resembling tolerance or *shudder* like 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - gustave, but gilles can make a mean bowl of cereal

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - gustave. gilles will eat something straight from the garden and gustave is like “DID YOU CHECK IF IT WAS RIPE?????? YOU COULD DIE FROM THAT YOU KNOW, THEN WHERE WOULD I BE???” 

Who does the grocery shopping? - gustave. gilles is something of a hermit in their town, and people often remark about the “sweet, kind doctor and his utter brick wall of a husband” 

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever Bastard goes a day without doing something Bastardous 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - both lowkey prefer salad, since they care for many animals that would often get used for their meat, and they can’t bear to think about hurting any of their babies

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - gilles. the people in town helped him when he burst into the little grocery store all panicked like “I NEED TO MAKE MY HUSBAND A SURPRISE DINNER BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE” 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - gustave. gilles like being at home, but city-boy over here thinks that restaurants are a weekly luxury

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - neither. it was thamin and albalatin, attempting to frame gilles for yet another felony

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - gustave. everything is color coded. sex toys included 

Who is really against chores? - gilles. gustave films him whenever he actually does clean and yells things like “go white boy go!!” and sends them to twitch for her T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. scrapbook 

Who cleans up after the pets? - they both do, but gilles gets stuck with shit duty more often than not

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - gilles, once. gustave walked in, sniffed the air, then glared at him until he actually swept whatever it was up and threw it away 

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - gustave “we can’t have guests over, the house is a mess” kateb

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Bastard. he then proceeded to eat it

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - gustave and his hour-long skincare routine 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - gustave, bc sadiqi the dog (not to be confused with sadiqi the kitten), or Big Sadiqi (kitten sadiqi is Little Sadiqi) is his, gilles, and he will not allow his precious boy to be influenced by such creatures as Bastard 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - they get little sweaters for the animals. that is all

What are their goals for the relationship? - joke: gustave always says “the White Man’s money” despite the fact that his family is richer than gilles’. woke: mutual happiness, comfort, and healing 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - gustave. after 11 am, thamin and albalatin decide they’ve had enough and break in to lay down on the bed next to him. gilles banishes himself to the couch for a week

Who plays the most pranks? - Bastard, thamin, and albalatin. although gustave did dye the sheep’s wool (while it was still attached to them) different colors and patterns and, for the ones who were perfectly content to sit still and be held, replicas of famous paintings (his favorite artist is monet, in case you forgot that he’s french)

[shoshie]

hi poosie 💞🌺💘 im going w 3 nights by dominic fike; emotional by okaywil; honest by the neighborhood; devil i know by allie x; sweet disposition by the temper trap; very nice by seventeen; moonlight by dhruv; rain by ben platt; home by phillip phillips; just friends by jordy; timebomb by walk the moon; cross my heart by marianas trench; shatter me by lindsey striling; paris is burning by st vincent; arrival of the birds by the cinematic orchestra; nyc girl by the orion experience; relay by fiona apple; dnd by glaive; sympathy by vampire weekend; december 1963 by frankie valli & the four seasons; and step with me by mika.

if ur thinking ‘h what the fuck’ you & i would b thinking the same thing. i kept adding songs bc im like ‘ah shit what if they hate the one i suggested?’ so i added 2 more. and then yk . i kept adding until my spotify app weirdly refreshed and i took it as a sign from god to stfu and finish the list so !!! that’s what i have !!! i hope ur having a lovely lovely day & that u like at Least one on this list 💓❣️💘🌺💞‼️

i’m gonna tell u what i think of each song BUT i’m putting it under a read more lkdhfbf

1. 3 nights: i realized i’ve actually heard this one BUT not the whole song so it’s ok! i like it it’s v chill v vibey it sounds like streetlights reflecting off a wet road <3 (i am incapable of describing songs with adjectives)

2. emotional: the instrument in the background of this is rly cool idk it’s like. it kinda sounds like hitting spoons on a glass but more musical & almost piano like? i rly like it tho, this song sounds like bright colors & peaches :D

3. honest: this one kinda sounds like one of those ones that makes ur brain go brrrr ‼️ its like. laced w something kfjbjsbfksnv musically it’s not rly my thing but i can appreciate it as a song <3

4. devil i know: i only know one allie x song (can’t stop now) so i wasn’t sure what this would sound like but it’s kinda insane??? the background vocals r so cool i love the humming :0 v sexie nd her voice is so beautiful omg

5. sweet disposition: this feels oddly familiar. i don’t think i’ve heard it tho. it kinda reminds me of say geronimo if u know that one? it sounds like adventure kind of, like it could be used in a travel vlog (complimentary)

6. very nice: aju NICE babababdadadabbabda!!!! i’ve heard this one but i don’t mind listening to it again <3 bop banger etc. good vocals amazing horns in the chorus also if u haven’t seen the choreo i would definitely recommend it it’s so fun

7. moonlight: this is so pretty omg 🥺 i got a mental image of like. sitting on top of a car w someone u love & watching a meteor shower on a clear night. very chill his voice is so lovely

8. rain: ben platt’s voice is gorgeous. this is not the type of music i would have expected from him though??? idk he doesn’t seem like the pop music type of person. i think i prefer some of his other music (cough grow as we go cough) but this is a solid song

9.. home: ive heard this but not since i was like 10 so the nostalgia i got from it,,,, :’) home also sounds like a travel vlog song a bit! i think its the oooohhhhhohohohs in the post chorus (?). this song just reminds me of my childhood i used to hear it all the time on the radio sitting in the backseat <3

10. just friends: I HAVE ALSO HEARD THIS BUT IDK WHERE the beginning played nd i was like wait a minute. OH!! its so nice i love how simple the instrumentals are & jordy has a rly pretty voice as well!! the melody is so addictive as well

halfway done! this is fun<3

11. timebomb: bop?? this could be used in the soundtrack to a romcom tv show directed at teenagers (once again. what are adjectives) it reminds me of when shut up and dance came out nd everyone was obsessed with it.. that was a better time i think

12. cross my heart: headbanging songs > the lyrics to this one r a little basic but thats ok not every song has to have deep profound lyrics that make u feel existential. this is certainly a banger yessir. the ending is cool too i love harmonies

13. shatter me: scawy... the imagery in this is insane "i pirouette in the dark" UM?? this sounds like a movie hello. imagine WAI HISNFVNKDNV THE DROP???? THE VIOLIN?????? i litrally just had to interrupt myself that was not an exaggerated reaction. ANYWAYS i was going to say: the movie scene im imagining is like. it keeps cutting between a girl doing ballet in dark, foggy lighting & a fight scene

14. paris is burning: dark alleyways & vintage movies!!! i enjoyed this more than i expected to? im picturing a girlboss character, maybe a spy? in all black & carrying a purse walking down the street. but she has to be wearing one of those black hats w a veil in the front & a flower on the brim, an ankle-length velvety black coat, & heels that go plonk on the cobblestone

15. arrival of the birds: THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! OMG! blue skies & green grass at a state park!!! i love it so much actually this went in my healing playlist <333 the way it built up in the best way.. tears

16. nyc girl: ok the guitar in the intro??? this is fuckign music truly one of the most songs ive ever heard. the bass fucks as well i rly like this one :D its so catchy im already bopping nd ik later im gonna b going "im gonna make u ma ha hine"

17. relay: the lyrics are so good???? its not a song that id probably listen to very often just bc its musically not my type of thing BUT i respect it a lot. shes obviously a super talented artist like i looked up the lyrics nd apparently she wrote the repeated line when she was 15??? i love what the song is about!

18. dnd: the production on the vocals is a lil bit strange but i like the song itself if that makes sense. its like mitam where the songs r mixed weirdly but i enjoy the songs anyway? i did think for abt a minute that the title referred to dungeons & dragons tho,, also i just looked up the artist and he is ALSO 15 what the FUCK

19. sympathy: the GUITARRRRR omg omgogmomg!! i rly love the whole intro like the first 30 seconds r just *chefs kiss*. OOH bass solo sexyyyyy i love prominent bass :D the instrumentals r really nice too & it reminds me of like. a heist? like a found family of thieves. this song would play as they were breaking into a museum or smth

20. december 1963: GROOVY! simply a fkin tune idk dude like this IS fun nd makes me think of roadtrips during the summer & also of walking along a dock in a harbor under the moonlight. very much floaty yellow dress vibes this song is just a mood booster

21. step with me: domestic. domesticity. thats it. no but the chorus is rly nice omg i like the melody!!! its so cute too the lyrics r so wholesome.. this sounds like an old couple thats been married for 50 years dancing to the radio in their kitchen <333 life goals

[lannisterdaddyissues]

Ok ask meme! D, G, Z?

@fleurdufeu and anon thank u!!!! i love u guys <33. im just gonna do this for got bc i’ve done this before with other fandoms

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s): braime, gendrya, sanrion, sansaery, jorleesi, and actually most ships ft jaime or sansa lol

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind: probably sansan bc i never thought of sansan as romantic in the show but i can see it when i read it. also jaime/cat because when i went back and watched that dungeon scene again there was so much sexual tension there and it’s like whoa where did that come from lmao

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice): i think hating the tw*nc*st is a given, especially considering i am a twin myself and i am about to be the same age cersei was when she married robert.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice): idk uhh im not really that huge a fan of jonsa? i prefer jonerys and some ppl will probably hate me for that but i just like jon and sansa better platonically. but im fine with reading it and stuff its just not my first choice. otherwise

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it: in the show my first one was probably gendrya or tyrion and bronn bc they had a nice thing going LMAO

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike): for chars i dislike, i absolutely adore the way cersei was written. i hate the things she does but i LOVE who she is. shes a bad bitch who doesnt give a fuck about any of you. she is The Bitch. love that for her

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you): jonsa might not be my first choice but i can see why it would be for others! their reunion was really heartwarming and when they forgave each other for all the stupid things they did in youth it was really sweet and i was like aww guys now kiss <3, and i was as angry as sansa when jon went and bent the knee to daenerys dont get me wrong

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of: mirror by bruno mars was the last song i listened to bc its an epic song and...it really does remind me of jaime a lot, all his insecurities and the other things he hides to be strong, stuff like that

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why: hmmm none yet really

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships: bronn/jaime was absolutely canon at one point. bronn spent more time in jaime’s ass during the dorne plot than cersei spent in his ass for an entire lifetime, you can’t change my mind.

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms: um im only doing one fandom so ill just do five faves! jaime, tyrion, brienne, dany, and margaery!

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms: im only doing one fandom so i dont think this works...ill just do some of my side ships for got as well! theonsa, jonerys, and jaimsa!

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships: ill just do five kinks for braime bc i havent really read much smut for my other ships. anyway praise kink pegging hair pulling bondage and consent kink because theyre filthy good

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM: oops i just did this hAHaH well ill do it again bc now it says 5-10, whoops loophole! jaime, tyrion, dany, brienne, sansa, cat, arya, margaery, olenna, sandor hehe

[koiyyo]

DR1 “modern” gamenight HCS!

danganronpa modern au hcs where the cast has gamenight! -made by mod cass, mod corn, mod irusu, mod chi, and mod dragon

theres 3 parts to this post for all of the games! this post is the first game cast + komaru, second and third part coming soon

DR1

makoto

 • gets confused by the games so he needs someone to help him  • likes watching his sister and kyoko play cus they smart  • got sent to the baby table   • the negotiator that stops everyone from strangling each other

kyoko

 • works with shuichi during old maid cus they’re vibing detectives  • made makoto sit out cause it was to complicate  •would avenge him in the games after though  • made everyone agree that celeste should be banned from playing any card games  • literally watches everyone's move and detects their body language, is honestly almost equal to celeste  • everyone is too scared to give her any +4 cards in uno

hina

 • does better when food is bet  • teams up with sakura no matter what the game is  • lives for hungry hungry hippos!!  • playing games? donut.

hiro

 • literally doesn’t know how he’s here or where he is  • somehow got 34 cards in uno   • loves those mythical rpg games, insists it's happening in a parallel universe  • suggests dungeon and dragons

byakuya

 • was only good at monopoly and bullied everyone about it for months  • gets mad at games like charades because “he doesn’t understand plebian culture”  • ends up getting all the monopoly houses somehow  • “byakuya you can’t buy a win in uno” “are you challenging me”

toko

 • is good at trivia games (to much library time smh)  • during truth or dare would always try and dare byakuya to do stuff with her,,  • got truth or dare banned real quick  • suggested 7 minutes in heaven just to try and get byakuya to get in with her, it also got banned quickly 

komaru

 • comforts her brother after being sent to the baby table  • mostly teams up with toko and helps her get over byakuya denying her  • they end up having a lot more fun together uwu  • cries if she loses

sayaka

 • really likes karaoke and always impresses everyone  • sits out half the time so she doesn’t ruin her reputation by freaking the fuck out over card games  • challenges hiyoko to just dance and loses every time

leon

 • an actual god at darts  • almost hit someone in the eye with the same exact darts  • likes that one wii baseball game cause he dominates  • got the baseball game banned because he forgot to put on the wii-strap and ended up breaking the tv

chihiro

 • likes puzzle games  • likes puzzles in general,,   • has to hold mondo and taka back from beating people up  • likes when chiaki is there cause he can show her games he made

mondo

 • accidentally flipped out after losing and flipped the table over  • had to clean it up with taka  • is the bodyguard for the “liar jail” corner, makes sure they can’t leave til their timeout is over

taka

 • studies all the rules, repeats them every 5 seconds to make sure everyone understands  • he will honestly beat you to death if u cheat  • makes cheaters sit in the corner he calls “liar jail” (celestia and kokichi get sent to liar jail.)

hifumi

 • wasn’t invited anymore because he suggested strip poker  • favorite game is ‘go fish’  • tried to play with his lewd art cards,, was sent to jail by taka

celeste

 • got banned from card games first night  • kept winning so she got banned from everything  • forced to sip tea and judge people’s bad gameplay  • always suggests sketchy gambling games 

sakura

 • one of the people nominated to hold back the others from strangling each other   • tenko, her, and nekomaru always arm wrestle over stuff  • ends up falling asleep in the arm chair with hina

junko

 • purposely tries to lose even if she’s teaming with mukuro  • would post updates on all her social media accounts  • claims she gets drunk off any beverage  • majority of the time she judges peoples clothing  • “your fucking shoes suck have a +4”

mukuro

 • just wants to support her sister before she gets to drunk tbh  • doesn’t take the games that seriously so she usually just watches  • when they play fps games on the rare occasion,,, a god  • plays roblox phantom forces, is level 900, and has a k/d of 45.0, gets accused of ‘cheating’ by random nine year olds  • gets banned from most fps steam games for ‘hacking’  • unironically enjoys training with peko using the wii fit

that took so long to format ughhhh,,,

posted by mod irusu

[theplaguebeast]

Watching Game of Thrones is a Form of Self Harm

AKA ALL MY GAME OF THRONES LIVEBLOG POSTS

101 + 102:  oh man i forgot dany gettin fkin raped is in the first ep man they really set the tone for this shitshow early

103:  “War was easier than daughters” BRO YOU HAVEN’T PAID ATTENTION TO HER INTERESTS IN FIVE YEARS NO WONDER SHE’S DIFFICULT

104:  Baelish: *literally tells Ned he’s untrustworthy* Ned: *trusts him anyways*

105:  Bobby just threatened to take away the job Ned didn’t even want like that was gonna make him not quit lol what a dumbass

106:  every time viserys speaks there’s a muppet superimposing on him in my mind going 'i aM tHe DrAgOn!’

107:  Joff after being king for .5 seconds: KILL THEM ALL

108:  Drogo: *promises to rape, kill, pillage, and plunder* Drogo: *does these things* Dany: *surprised pikachu meme*

109:  Robb ‘We’ve basically accomplished nothing’ Stark

110:  hey Dany doesn't even have dragons yet and she's burning someone alive as punishment so uhm people were surprised when this continued?

201:  Robb ‘I want to rescue my sisters but holy shit, politics’ Stark

202:  Theon ‘I think i’m much more important than i really am’ Greyjoy

203:  Renly desperately trying to consummate his marriage like ‘i’m too fucking gay for this fuuuuuuck’

204:  Littlefinger popping up in Cat’s life like ‘so your husband’s dead can we bone maybe?’ and gets surprised she pulls a knife on him

205:  Theon ‘I want dad’s approval so i’m gonna stab my brother in the back’ Greyjoy

206:  Jon ‘I can definitely kill a pretty girl, I swear it’ Snow

207:  you know nothing jon snow is first used in reference to fucking and SHE’S RIGHT

208:  Yara ���you’re a fucking moron, brother’ Greyjoy

209:  i love that tyrion getting his nose chopped off with an axe turns into a delicate slice that knocks him out

210:  Robb ‘u let the kingslayer go u can’t tell me it’s dumb to marry a rando when i’m promised to another’ Stark

301:  Tyrion ‘oh my god there’s a thin line running across my face i’m a MONSTER’ Lannister

302:  Loras is fkin RUDE yo

303:  Podrick ‘the whores won’t take my money’ Payne

304:  Dany’s acquisition of the Unsullied proves she’s 100% willing to do a bad faith deal like

305:  Jaime full on sexually harassing Brienne here like an asshole

306:  T^T POOR FUCKING ROS MY BABY

307:  BRONN CALLING TYRION OUT ON HIS WANTING TO FUCK A VERY TALL 13YR OLD GO BRONN

308:  Olenna poking fun at how fucked the tyrell-lannister family tree is bout to get with all these weddings what a boss

309:  awww how sweet jon’s learning to stand up to peer pressure

310:  Jon ‘u said u loved me you’ll never hurt me RIGHT?’ Snow;  Jon ‘shot full of arrows’ Snow

401:  Oberyn is #triggered by the lannister song

402:  w00t joff’s fukkin ded m8

403:  Stannis ‘blood magic is fine but I WON’T BUY AN ARMY’ Baratheon

404:  poor pious little tommen didn’t stand a chance against a tyrell on a mission (also, s’fuckin creepy aight she’s bein predatory af and no one ever seems to call it out bc she’s, yanno, female)

405:  HODOR

406:  HEY LOOK DANY IT LOOKS  LIKE INDISCRIMINATE VIOLENCE MAKES PEOPLE MAD AT YOU WHODA THOUGHT

407:  Petyr ‘you could’ve been my child but i still kissed you full on the mouth’ Baelish

408:  Baelish acting like it’s some big secret he wants to fuck Sansa, talking to her like she’s too dumb to know the man who KISSED HER FULL ON THE MOUTH wants under her skirts, what a cocky shit

409:  hi Ghost (where, uhm, where tf has he been?)

410: grabby hands, popping outta the snow, LIKE DAISIES

501:  Danaerys ‘my dragons are my children but since they’re not listening to me i’m gonna lock em in a dungeon and then get surprised when they’re upset with me’ Targaryan

502:  man brienne just keeps getting character assassinated by everyone in fkin westeros poor gal

503:  Janos ‘I DIDN’T VOTE FOR YOU’ Slynt

504:  Sansa’s last Big Mistake: when LF says ‘do you believe me’ and she goes ‘yeah sure’

505:  a good mother disciplines her children BITCH THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU DID YOU JUST SHOVED THEM IN A HOLE, NOT EVEN THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY DID THE THING YOU’RE UPSET ABOUT

506:  OH NO. OH NO. OH NO.

507:  Cersei’s like ‘my son loves his wife where did i go wrong?’

508:  ’killing and politics aren’t always the same thing’ THE FACT SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL HER THAT

509:  Hizdahr zo Loraq is like ‘bitch do you know ANYthing about the culture you’re trying to destroy?’ (the answer is no)

510:  Stannis: *sacrifices his own daughter on a fire* The Men: *desert* Stannis: *shocked pikachu meme*

601:  Up to their chests in ice water mfers gonna get the hypothermia

602:  HI JON U HAV A NICE NAP?

603:  Tormond ‘your dick’s not big enough for you to be a god’ Giantsbane

604:  For someone so good at peeling people Ramsay can’t peel a fuckin apple for shit

605: 

606:  *compulsively humming along with the theme song*

607:  HI SANDOR! I bet u had a VERY nice nap huh

608:  Stealing Lem’s boots after hanging him, what a power move

609:  Jon ‘I want to die’ Snow

610:  RIP Pycelle, Margaery, Loras, Mace, Kevan, Lancel, High Sparrow, a bunch of Faith Militant, and like 100 various members of the court (and random peasants outside, too); also Septa Unella (the bitch), and Precious Tommen; ALSO Walder Frey and uhm like 30-40 other Freys?

701:  Jon, derisively: And how should I be smarter? By listening to you?

702:  Everyone: DON’T GO SOUTH JON SNOW Jon: I’m gonna go south.

703:  Jon, with the ‘who even ARE you?’ is his most legit moment since he came back from the dead

704:  Dany: Wat do i do Jon: DO NOT BURN PEOPLE, ANYTHING BUT THAT

705:  ”I’m not beheading them” BECAUSE BURNING THEM IS BETTER??????

706:  Using your +1 Flaming Longsword to cauterize a wound

707:  Everyone: Jonathan, PLEASE LEARN TO FUCKING LIE

801:  Dany: Whatever they want. Me: OH SO MORE CHILDREN THEN??

802:  HEY DANY REMEMBER A WHILE AGO WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS COOL FOR THE KINGDOMS TO ASK FOR THEIR INDEPENDENCE? NO? ah, okay :\

803:  THE CRYPTS WERE A MISTAKE

804:  Murderuncle roadtrip 2.0

805:  RIP QYBRUN I REALLY LIKED YOU, YOU CREEPY LITTLE SHIT

806:  genuinely surprised tyrion’s not already on fire