#Tv’s frank

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

A small tierlist on who I’d trust to make dinner

[gizmocrate-werecrow]

Mystery monster theatre 3000: human nature part 2

(okay so the uploads aren’t going to be consistent but hey, here’s the other part that took a while, collab with @classicrocker2000 quick warning that there’s a bit of blood in it)

Crow was softly crying into Joel’s shoulder. Gripping his hands into Joel’s jumpsuit, this wasn’t fair at all! These thoughts were confusing him, was he a miracle of science or a monster? All these sensations overwhelming him, why did humans have to leak out of their eyes?

“Joel? What are all of these things that are happening to me? I don’t understand it at all.” Crow sobbed out. 

“It’s called being a human Crow. I may have programmed you to be human-like but never truly human until right now. In fact I didn’t even expect you to be so human-like.” Joel said, embracing Crow.  Tom swiveled into Crow’s room. He felt his hover mode activate again while the dreaded air gratings that lived in the SOL’s hallways were left behind. He started to float again, wearing a small gizmonic themed fanny pack that Joel got as a congratulations for joining the institute.

“Hey Crow, I just got a call from the mads that they’ve cooked something up to turn you back into a robot.”

“Really? Um sure, give me a few more hours. I think I kind of like this hug.” Crow said with some surprise. How could the mads even make something that could reverse his problem so fast? He guessed that was the beauty of deep 13 being so close to the Gizmonic institute, free resources and manpower.

Crow watched Tom hovered back out, he slowly got out of the hug and stared at his hands, considering he had hands now, if he had to do one thing before losing his human form what would he do?

Oh he knew! Sowing. Needle and thread sucked as a robot thanks to his stiff arms. Crow looked up at Joel for a moment.

“Hey Joel, can you bring me some needle and thread. I want to do some sowing.” Crow smiled.

“I’ll be right back soon.” Joel nodded before walking out of Crow’s room. Crow scrambled off of his bed and grabbed his chair, next to the chair was a table that was littered with many arts and crafts materials. Felt, wool, many different fabrics and leathers that were stolen from many shipments to the SOL. Crafting was a way for him to ignore the horrors of the movies he watched. Soothing and almost meditative for him so to say.

Crow heard a knock. He opened it to see a bat resting on the sewing kit. Crow gently scooped up the bat.

“Joel you don’t need to be bat. I mean…oh!” Crow laughed, scritching Joel's bat form’s head and carefully putting him back down. In a moment Joel stood there with a slight smile.

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Joel said, rubbing the back of his neck. He handed the sewing kit over before walking away.

“I’m fine Joel, I really am fine.” Crow rolled his eyes, another thing he could do now that he was a human. Placing down the sewing kit on the table, Crow’s hands shook in excitement a little as he opened the kit and threaded the needle. He pricked his finger on the needle, watching red well on his finger. Blood. Huh, interesting. He better get to sowing then.

Two hours later at the front of the SOL, Crow took a deep breath. He showed himself to the others.

Crow looked at the hastily put together ray gun before motioning to Tom and Joel to look at the addition to the old jumpsuit.

Beneath the Robinson tag was a new tag, it was black with golden lettering that said T Robot. Unlike the writing on the Robinson tag, the T robot tag had a certain hand sown beauty to it.

“Crow, you’re not going to be human again.” Joel said, adjusting the ray gun a little.

“I know, but I wanted to make something to remind me of this. Well it’s been fun, make me a robot.” Crow smiled. He closed his eyes and waited for the moment.

There was a loud popping sound and a bright flash of light, the remnants of the rush job littering the floor.

Crow took a couple of deep wheezes, he was a robot again! Finally back to his sweet golden near indestructible body. He whooped in excitement and in a blink of an eye, he was human again.

Crow flinched, how did he become a human again?

“Hey what gives?” Crow said with a hmph. In another moment, he was back into his robotic form.

Tom gasped.

“What do you expect? This was made in hours, you can’t expect a quality invention from a rush job.”  Joel said bitterly, picking up some of the pieces.

Everyone on the bridge remained silent, an awkward feeling weighing heavy on them.

“Now that you’re back to somewhat normal, what do you say we celebrate this with a party? We’ve survived so many experiments after three years, nothing can stop us at all!” Tom with an ecstatic energy that felt infectious.

Joel sighed. Tom was right; despite the disaster that was this episode, it doesn’t change the fact that they survived, if they could survive a movie with one bot down, they could survive anything!

—

Down in deep 13, in the deepest darkest parts of the film archives, Dr Forrester and TV’s Frank were cladded in hazmat suits.

The archives were deep dark and dank with several undiscovered species of mushrooms growing and glowing all over the place, water dripped from the ceiling and film reels were messily shelved in a hurry to keep the horrors in. The pair walked past such forbidden films that shouldn't be named.

“Are you sure you found the movie here?” Dr Forrester asked with some uncertainty.

“I actually found a bit of it in the toilet.” Frank retorted.

At the back of the archives lay one such group of reels, their horrifying contents kept under lock and key. The two men looked at each other and took out their Deep 13 master keys. They turned the keys and opened the viewing box. Wind from nowhere blew at the two and a sickly green glow bathed the room in its unholy light. 

The laughing started, echoing through the basement and climbing to a manic crescendo.

TV’s Frank carefully picked up the reels and looked at the title of such an accursed celluloid that would finally break Joel and the bots.

The Castle of Fu Manchu.

—

(Likes and reblogs are appreciated!)

[obeyfeline]

Livin’ in Deep 13

[cornsword]

This is the year TV’s Frank would have gotten his $20, here’s hoping that Max imherited this treasured heirloom and that cashing fourth party savings bonds is uh at all legal.

[decaffeinatedpartymuggoop]

The mischaracterization of people from PJO is so funny, but ESPECIALLY from HOO onward like.

“Hazel’s such an innocent little angel. She’s always nice and kind and confused.”

Hazel, who’s always ready to fight in the same way Percy is? Hazel, who made it explicitly clear she probably would’ve rocked Octavian’s shit had he not been blackmailing her? Who gets so angry on behalf of the people she loves, to the point where she doesn’t forgive those who have wronged them? Who Percy described as cursing up a storm in one of their first interactions? Who’s been shown time and time again to be FAST to anger? That Hazel?

Or Nico, who’s “a misunderstood emo. A small bean. Cute like a wet cat and innocent like a bunny.”

Nico, who’s cannonically described by most characters as “scary and unnerving?” Nico, who, for a long time, is one of the angriest characters in the series? Who’s only sassy and sarcastic because it took him FOUR YEARS to mellow out? Who’s described as being one of the most powerful demigods, who a lot of people still consider the scariest? Who’s come into his own as a character from TTC to TSATS? That Nico?

Or Annabeth who’s, “cold and calculating. Doesn’t show emotion or express herself”

Annabeth, who’s the most expressive person in the series? Who cries in EVERY book in the OG series? Whether it be for Luke, or Thalia, or Percy, or Chiron, or a literal DOG? Who expresses passion like no other when it comes to architecture and her other interests? Who’s expressed compassion for people she didn’t know? People who at times posed a threat to her? Who isn’t afraid to be angry, or happy, or snide, or rude, or excited, or scared, or ecstatic? Who’s been unapologetically herself since the moment the series started? That’s who doesn’t show emotion? That’s Annabeth?

[percabethownsmybutt]

monster: i have your child

chiron: which one?

monster: the annoying one who won’t shut up

chiron: which one?

[mydairpercabeth]

i’m sorry but Percy being the token white boy of camp half blood will forever be hilarious to ME

[smackdownhotel]

Wait, take some pancakes with you!

[druid-for-hire]

hawkeye and trapper get fake septums

(id under the cut)

[image id: a three-page digital comic about characters from the TV show MASH, illustrated by "druid-for-hire." On page 1, frank burns squints at Hawkeye from a short distance, who is next to Trapper, who is reading a newspaper that obscures his face. "Pierce," Burns asks, "what's on your face?" Hawkeye turns to face him, revealing a septum piercing. "what's what, Frank?" he asks. Shocked and affronted by this breach in army regulations, he shouts, "I can't!! Believe you!! It's not enough for you to disagrace the army uniform by being out of it all the time? You have to go and--and do that! You look like a punk! Or a cow!"

On page 2, Hawkeye, unbothered, replies "Y'know, Frank, I'm finally living up to the Pierce name. I was thinking about going for some ear tag earrings. Maybe I can get a nurse to pull my udders." Frank howls, "That's disgusting!" Turning to Trapper he shouts, "Did you have anything to do with this, McIntyre?" Trapper pulls down the newspaper to reveal that he's wearing three septum rings and says, "I sure did! He stole my look!"

On page 3, Frank says "You're both terrible. Both of your butts are going on report!" while Hawkeye takes out his apparently fake septum ring behind his back. "Report for what, Frank?" he asks; Frank turns to see that the piercing is now missing. "Yeah, what's the matter, Frank?" Trapper says, whose piercing is suddenly missing as well. Frank storms off, yelling "Neither of you can pull the wool over my eyes!! Just wait until General Barker hears about this!" Some time later, Frank is standing next to General Barker, pointing at Hawk. "General, I'm telling you, the hole is THERE!" he shouts. "Go and take a look in those nostrils for yourself!" There is a long and awkward pause. The General did not like that. Hawkeye remarks, "Gee Frank, take a girl to dinner first." end id]

[valzhanginator]

did the show just delete the fact that percy was a wanted criminal in the entirety of the lightning thief? gabe gave an interview, blaming percy for sally's dissappearence, which made him the primary suspect. like the police was after him when they blew up the bus and his iconic 'my stepdad is a really sweet person' speech to a journalist after jumping from saint monica arc, people conspiring that they were manipulated into a t*rrorist group after his fight with ares. like????? where's all that?? where's the good stuff???

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

If Mike and the bots ever discovered the magic of YTP or video editing, the Mads are screwed. Every cheesy movie will be dumbed down to JoJ, visual gags and weird shit that is mostly responsible by Crow’s crass humor. The insanity is cathartically removed, happy ending achieved

[gizmocrate-werecrow]

Mystery monster theatre 3000: Human nature (part one)

(yeah there’s a title now! It’ll still be tagged mst3k monster au though, collab with @classicrocker2000)

Even though the episode recording had started, there was a missing cast member. Joel Robinson, castaway, vampire and father walked into Cambot’s view as Tom was on the table wearing a newsboy's cap and holding up a missing poster with Crow’s face on it.

“Now, where are you, Crow? Crow? Croooow? Where are you?” Joel called out. He noticed Cambot and took a deep breath.

“Hi, welcome to the satellite of love. I’m Joel Robinson, and over there is Tom Servo. You see, Crow has gone missing, and we’re looking all over for him. Crow! Oh great Peabody and Sherman are calling.” Joel said, pressing the mads button.

Down in Deep Thirteen, Crow had a gag in his voice pin and was tied to a chair, around Crow’s neck was a cream coloured scarf that Joel recognised as his own. Crow struggled against his bonds that were being tied by TV’s Frank, who then picked up the chair and placed Crow into a cylinder device with an antenna attached to it at the top 

“There’s Crow!“ Tom said. Joel on the other hand was fuming, silently mouthing words that he would never say aloud to his robots or on camera.

Forrester walked into frame, holding a controller that Joel assumed was connected to the device. The mad scientist then looked up with some mock surprise. “Hello boobie, we had to borrow your robot for this one invention, I hope you don’t mind.” Forrester said with some sarcasm to it. 

Joel didn’t say anything, instead he cleared his voice, trying to keep the anger down. 

“I will go first just this once, as a vampire the hardest part of feeding on a person is that when you bite down on a neck, it can get a bit messy. What I have here today is a device that will make feeding a lot easier. Since I don’t have a human body, this blood sausage will make a good substitute for the demonstration.” Joel said, raising up the syringe attached to a small vacuum cleaning bag. He jabbed the syringe into the sausage and pulled the plunger. Tom looked aside to Cambot with some concern. 

In mere moments, the sausage was drained of all of its blood. 

“What do you think sirs?”

In Deep 13, Dr Forrester and Tv’s Frank looked at each other in shock. The silence was only broken by Crow’s struggles against his bonds.

“In all my time, there has never been an invention that you made that I wish I invented. That is so diabolically evil.” Dr Forrester said in shock.

“What do you mean it’s evil? It’s just an easier way to suck blood out of someone and wait… I haven’t fed yet.”

Dr Forrester slapped TV’s Frank at the back of the head. He then smiled.

“My invention today is a teleporter that will make your deliveries much much better. Behold the teleporter that can only teleport inorganic matter.”

“That seems kind of nice? What is the catch? Why can’t you send organic things?” Joel said. 

Dr Forrester smiled wickedly.

“Ever seen The Fly robinson?”

Joel nodded.

“So that means…” Joel started.

“Food still has to be delivered naturally.” TV’s Frank piped in. He snacted the teleportation device’s controller out of Forrester’s hands and touched a few buttons, the cylinder closed while Crow struggled against his bonds. Steam hissed out from the cylinder and the lights  flickered rapidly before conking out. Crow appeared on the SOL, he stood around woozily before Joel took the gag out.

“J-Joel, I don’t feel so good, can I sit out this movie?” Crow said. Crow walked off and off to his room. He groaned and moaned and opened his room door, tossing the beige scarf to the floor.

Crow fell into his bed which was stiff as a board and would be uncomfortable for humans but he was no man.

He was a robot. 

Then the pain began.

—

Tom and Joel finished the episode with defeated looks. With one man down, the film was a tiny bit harder to get through. Joel laid down on the floor and Tom hovered over to Crow’s room, knocked on the door with his dome and waited.

“Don’t come in Tom! I’m hideous!” Crow said.

“Not listening! I’m coming in!” Tom said in a sing-song voice that he usually did in the movies. He nudged the door open and looked around. Tom looked at the bed which looked kind of Crow shaped.

The blankets moved a bit, and instead of Crow, it was a kid who looked around 15 years old. He had dirty blond hair and looked like Joel a little bit, but the differences were there such as wide golden eyes and a slight gap in his teeth.

“L-l-look away please…I’m hideous.”

“Crow?! Is that you?!” Tom yelled. He swiveled over to Crow and stared at him. “You’re all fleshy and human!” 

Crow hid under the blankets again. “I can’t let anyone see me like this! Please!”

“O-Okay, umm…do you want me to get Joel? Maybe GPC?”

Crow nodded. He curled up underneath the blankets. In all his time being alive Tom had never seen Crow like that, he was always snarky and confident, but this seemed the exact opposite. He was just a kid. 

Tom swiveled out. Leaving Crow to take in his new self.

First of all, his arms worked. Well that was a given since he was a human now. He also had hair that curled slightly at the ends. If Crow had to give a strike against his new situation, it was that he could probably no longer be blown up and walk it off. He’d just be dead. Existential dread quickly set in and Crow whimpered. He really was a human now… 

“Now Tom, you really must be pulling my legs if you’re claiming Crow is human.” Crow could hear Joel outside his room.

“I saw it with my own eyes!” Tom protested as the door opened. Crow buried himself deeper into the blankets. Even though he was used to being naked before, right now he just felt…he couldn’t understand. What was it called? Embarrassment?

A blast of cold air hit Crow’s face as Joel lifted the blanket slightly.

“….hey Joel,” Crow solemnly said. “Can you get me something to wear?”

Joel dropped the blanket back over Crow’s face as he tried to process what he’d just seen. He saw a human face instead of Crow’s. Whatever the mads did, they did the impossible.

Joel wasted no time in running back to his room for a spare jumpsuit. He took out a brown jumpsuit that brought him back to when Dr. Edheart was still around and Tom had his first voice. It wasn’t much, but he was sure it would fit Crow. How did the Mads even manage it?! They’d changed Crow’s entire molecular and anatomical makeup! 

For now though, Joel tried to suppress his rage. Crow needed him. Save that rage for the mads.

In a flash, he ran back to Crow’s room. He opened the door and tossed the jumpsuit in. 

“What’s gonna happen to Crow?” Tom asked as Joel shut the door. 

“He’s going to have to adjust until we can fix this.” Joel said, storming to the front of the ship after scooping up Tom.

Even though he didn’t really want to call, Joel touched the call mads button. He wanted answers. Now. He saw his bosses sitting down and eating dinner as if they haven’t commited something as dire as using one of his robots as a test subject for an invention.

“Excuse me, Sirs? What did you do to Crow? He’s a human.”

“So what? The teleportation experiment was a success!” Dr Forrester proudly said.

“Experiment! Is that what you care about?!”Joel bellowed. 

Joel could see Dr Forrester and TV’s Frank look shocked,he couldn’t remember a time when he really yelled at them. It was always polite to treat your superiors nicely, even if one of them did shoot you into space with no intention of getting you down.

But this? This was something else.

They’d hurt one of his bots.

The gloves were off.

“Cambot? Can you stop recording please?” Joel said with a hint of anger. The bot obliged, it’s red dot turning off.

“What did we do wrong? We just borrowed one of your robots for a bit.” TV’s Frank said.

Joel clenched his fist. Gosh darn it he almost wanted to punch him! Tv’s Frank knew what he did wrong! They both knew what they did! Playing dumb wasn't going to get them far! 

“You two know exactly what you did! He’s completely scared out of his wits because of it!” Joel seethed. 

“Well umm you see there might’ve been some human DNA in the teleporter.” Dr Forrester nervously said.

“You mean he got mixed with human DNA? How is that even possible when he didn’t have any human DNA to begin with?!”

“Joel?” Crow asked. The jumpsuit was big enough on Crow that the sleeves hid his hands. He was wearing a cream coloured scarf that he knitted as a Christmas gift for Joel. His golden eyes staring up at Joel. He bounced up and down impatiently and had an impatient pout.  

“Look what you did to him. Besides, wouldn't people start asking questions if there’s suddenly two humans on the SOL?” Joel said, gesturing to Crow.

“Ehh I was hoping he’d look more like me…” Forrester muttered. He quickly went quiet once Joel glared at him. 

“Fine, we’ll fix it, but you have to go through another movie. Mark my words Robinson, it will be a doozy. Apparently, we can’t air the Son of Godzilla episode due to ‘rights’,” Dr. Forrester said.

“We can handle whatever you throw at us,” Joel said, his eyes narrowing. “We’ve survived slime people and mad monsters, rock climbing and sidehacking, pod people and Ator. We have survived it all.”

“Yeah! Bring it on!” Crow said before covering his mouth and slinking out of the picture in embarrassment, his cheeks burning red.

TV’s Frank whispered in Dr Forrester’s ear. A sinister smirk crawled onto both of their faces.

“Frank, that is the perfect bit of schlock to break them with. Ta ta Joel.”

Then the screen flickered off.

Great

Now, where did Crow go off to again?

—

Crow looked in the mirror and touched his reflection, he was going to get used to this huh?

If Crow had to be honest, he looks great! The gold eyes really make it pop! 

But now he was of flesh and bone. He had to… Crow tensed up at the sound of the door opening, he wanted to bury himself into the covers again because of how hideous he was, he dug himself under the blankets and waited for the words. What was this? Why did he think one moment he was hot shit and the next the most terrifying thing to walk this satellite? Crow shuddered as footsteps approached his bed.

“I knew I would find you in here.”

Crow poked his head back out of the blankets to see Joel.

“H-hey J-J-joel..sorry…”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. You’ve got us.”

“...Even though I’m all fleshy and gross now?”

“Crow, the mads are working on a way to make you a robot again,” Joel said. 

“Do you think they can actually do it?

“I’m sure they can Crow. Besides, if TV’s Frank can come back every time he’s killed, I’m sure Dr. Forrester can make you a robot again. Until then, I will have to teach you things such as brushing teeth and hair.” Joel smiled.

Crow shook at the thought of trying out human stuff. He watched Joel do human things before and that didn’t look appealing.

“Do I really have to learn, I’ll be back to normal soon.”

”It might take a week, it might take a month, i want to be sure you don't mess up until that day comes.”

Crow somehow felt reassured by that, he wanted to say a snarky comment like his programming dictated but wait, he wasn’t a robot anymore, he was a human, humans don’t have programming that gave them impeccable comedic timing or what not. Oh no.

What if he never became a robot again? What were these thoughts?! He didn’t like this! He didn’t want to be a human forever. 

Crow could feels something wellup on his face, he raised his hand to touch the wetness that formed on his face. 

Tears.

(Yeah it’s pretty big, like dear god that’s a lot)

[dummydino]

who got dee pregnant????

drawing i did in 2020 for halloween

[joulex]

Some of my random pjo headcanons

-piper is a graphic liner girly, you cant convince me otherwise. She will try some creative designs and experiment with colors. If you want to have a perfect liquid eyeliner, shes the one to go to. However, she cannot do eyeshadow.

-jason gifted piper a necklace with a bolt and piper gifted jason a bracelet with a heart. They did this while they were dating so that no matter what happenned to them, they will know that what they have was real and not made up. After jasons death piper refuses to take the necklace off and always wears it in his memory.(this is cheessy as fuck but i did it in my drawing and now this is my thought process)

-if an aphrodite kid is charmspeaking, their eyes will turn sighlty pink, or like have a subtle glint in their eyes.

-thalia also does make up, but very very out there, heavy eyeliner, black eyeshadow, the opposite of subtle. She also is the go to person to give you piercings. She did most of the one she has herself

-percy is the type of guy to have a disposable camera and just take photos of everything(annabeth) and make a photo album

-rachel makes jewelery, mostly rings and charm bracelets

-frank has a very active letterboxd account. He loves wes anderson and his four favorite movies are grand hotel budapest, how to train your dragon, knives out and spiderman into the spiderverse.

-in adition to this he goes on and on about movies and the cinematography and hazel loves to hear him rant about it.

-hazel is the best at finding the perfect seats to a concert. Shes the one fighting for her life in the front lines to get the best seats and somehow she always does.

-grover is an excellent cook. Whatever you want, he can make it. Also, he bakes something for everyone of percys birthdays, trying different things each year.

Thats all for now

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I can’t claim this “The Last of Us” analysis, but I wanted to share it here because it’s a fascinating thought:

Bill in the game was a cautionary tale. He was a model for what Joel should avoid becoming, which was a closed-off, selfish loner who managed to push away the person he cared about the most.

Bill in the show is Joel’s inspiration/model. He is the one who puts into Joel’s head that he needs to stop being a closed-off, selfish loner and that he must do whatever it takes to save the person he cares about the most.

And what’s cool about this is that, even though both Bills are different, they both served the same purpose regarding Joel’s character.

[xoxotsarevna]